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variousqueerthings · 5 months

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Oh, I love puppets! / I'm just passing through, like fish in the night

It's The Girl Who Died/The Woman Who Lived tiiiime, and this is one of the big recurring thematic episode holders of the season, and possibly... possibly I should watch them again at some point, when I'm not over-inundated with what in hindsight was a bit of a bonkers schedule of getting through M*ffat-era in a relatively short space of time, because I think some of it lost me a bit. not the plot, just a couple of Things here and there, which actually goes back to the first couple of episodes, where they were mentioning a Hybrid, but I'm like. wait did I miss something? was this Hybrid relevant or did it just Appear as another legendy type thing? why is it being mentioned like everyone knows what it is out of the blue?

this not because I remember the Hybrid being mentioned in these episodes, but because "Me" mentioned them in the finale episode and I was like... wait, hold on a second, I missed all this build-up, does it tie back into these episodes... I cannot tell you, I honestly can't, I cannot remember, I didn't note when the Hybrid was mentioned. but I will rate what I do remember!

sexism rank objectification (female character is ogled/harassed/turned into a sex joke by the doctor and/or a lead we’re supposed to root for and/or the camera): 10/10

sexism rank plot-point (lead female character is only there to serve plot, not to have her emotional interiority explored, or given agency to her emotional interiority): 3/10

interesting complex or pointlessly complex (does the complexity serve the narrative or does it just serve to be confusing as a stand-in for smart, this includes visually): 7/10

furthers character and/or lore and/or plot development (broader question that ties into the previous ones, at least two of these, ideally three should be fulfilled): 5/10

companion matters (the companion doesn’t always have to be there, but if the companion is there, can they function without the doctor– and overall per season how often is the companion the focus or POV of the story): 3/10

the doctor is more than just “godlike” (examines the doctor’s flaws and limitations, doesn’t solve a plot by having it revolve entirely around the doctor’s existence): 8/10

doesn’t look down on previous doctor who (by erasing or mocking its importance, by redoing and “bettering” previous beloved plotpoints or characters, etc.): 7/10

isn’t trying to insert hamfisted sexiness (m*ffat famously talked a lot about how dw should be sexier multiple times, he sucks at writing it): 10/10

internal world has consistency (characters have backgrounds, feel rooted in a place with other people, generally feel like they have Lives): 8/10

Politics (how conservative is the story): 6/10

FULL RATING: 67/100 (if I can count….)

this season is so far pretty consistently in the high 60s. it's a good season, but a few things are definitely starting to look like A Pattern (this is why it's great to have a System, I can be like "it's not just vibes, see I have a System, and if people tell me the System is highly subjective, I can knock over a water deliberately and run away in the confusion)

OBJECTIFICATION: as far as I can remember there's nothing here on that front. we've been cured at this point, I tellya

PLOT-POINT: Clara isn't really going through an emotional journey in the first episode (the Doctor sure is though boy oh boy) and straight up isn't in the second one, unfortunately. we'll get to that.

COMPLEXITY: okay so on the surface, these are quite simple, chill plots, I enjoy them both. the snag is... what the fuck just happened with Me??? immortal Me???? really immortal Me???? I wrote way more about that in the point below, but yeah I think they should have made her... less immortal. durable perhaps. long-lived. but ooh that was... that was very very immortal huh

CHARACTERS/LORE/PLOT: one thing I've noticed, that I dunno which point to put on and so has ended up here (but maybe it should have been on the "plot point" point, is that several times throughout this season we've smash-cut to "Clara is in danger in some way/close to death and then the Doctor gets her out of the situation"

I note this because I feel like it's there as a recurring joke, but also it comes up in "Face The Raven" that Clara seems to be enjoying herself too much with these life-and-death situations, but... I don't think it's clear enough. Idk if I'm being pedantic or not, I really really don't, but I'm not a fan of these "insights" into their adventures being uniformly about danger as a Joke

couple of times, sure, but... do you ever go somewhere just for the joy of the experience? why no snapshots into fun/beautiful/joyous experiences? like back in Rings Of Akhaten, it felt like yes there was danger because of circumstance, but the point of the journey was to experience, in fact the thing that tends to keep companions coming back is "anything could happen next that is wondrous, despite the danger (although the danger could become intoxicating, this isn't the goal from the outset, and how companions interact with that danger when it appears in balance with the joyous experiences gives a lot of the tension of their individual stories)."

this is a thing that happens at the beginning of this episode and is irrelevant to the rest of it. Clara's relationship with danger beyond "she weirdly doesn't care much" isn't as explored as I'd want it to be. genuinely why do we never see them setting out to have a good time? what do these scenes tell us about their dynamic, and are they telling us this On Purpose, or am I reading too much into them?

I'm jaded I tell you, jaded!!!! I never know when M*ffat is doing something because of "fun setpiece opening" or when it genuinely Means something. Fuckit I'll read into it: Clara has a weird fucking relationship with danger, because she seems to have been casually on the verge of death several times and brushed it off in a super chill way within the same episode! there we go, read into it

the other way to read into it is Clara has a weird fucking relationship with danger, because the Doctor's influence has made her believe she is literally invincible and nothing really bad can happen -- this despite her boyfriend yeeting himself into the atmosphere after becoming a cyberman

anyway, there is actually some real ongoing Plot stuff in this lol, I went off on a tangent to begin with because of that being the beginning: this plot is not... really related to Clara. it semi-is because of the end of the season, but I do think it's weird that this double-episode about Me -- who will later travel with Clara -- doesn't really cement a bond between Clara and Me. like yeah, they get on in the first episode, but in the second episode where we meet Me properly -- the Me we'll know moving forwards -- Clara just isn't there. I genuinely don't get it, because I've said that there are episodes where it feels like Clara is redundant from a thematic and lore/plot-building perspective, but this episode which sets up Me, doesn't also set up little threads that could make us look back end-s9 and say "ah yeah, I can imagine what kind of co-travellers these two might become"

but back to Me. IIIIIIIIIIIIII have questions. I actually think this is way bigger for some reason than a lot of more commonly discussed lore-building. like, sure, Time War, granted I was 10 or so so maybe that's just in my read of the story as indelible, but then bringing Gallifrey back, yeah, makes sense, it's a show that goes on forever, Timeless Child, yeah why not, [spoilers for the last special in case you haven't seen it] doesn't change much, but the Doctor just... made someone immortal? Immortal immortal???? meet them again end of the Universe immortal??? just travelling around in another Tardis immortal???????? you can just do that?????? why does this shock me so much, idk. maybe it's because with the Doctor you can really fuck with stuff, they're already an alien who can change their face, I get you wanna shake that up sometimes

this just casually happened midway through a season and is -- as far as I can remember -- irrelevant outside of this season of the show. it's sooooooooooo. can we talk about how this works please??? what. what was that for??? so many questions about Me-as-concept, but I guess she's just... out there. still potentially immortal?? she's gotta be more immortal than the Doctor is, how can she be totally unharmed after whatever the fuck trillions? trillion tillions??? of years???? okay stop thinking about this now, brain broken

fuckn Jack was made immortal by the time vortex itself and is less immortal than she is, okay I'm over it now. so many questions

COMPANIONS MATTER: Clara kind of does in the first one, in that she's the point of contact with Ashildr. but then she's literally not in the second one at all. I wonder if JLC had a commitment, it feels like a commitment thing. RIP because that was genuinely an episode I think Clara should have been in

“GODLIKE” DOCTOR: this is a turning point for the doctor, and I do note it's happened roughly halfway through his run, in which he basically realises that he has to save this girl, because this face -- in turn -- was saved back in Fires Of Pompeii. truthfully I don't think anyone questioned Capaldi looking exactly like... well, Capaldi, but fuckit, it's Doctor Who, fuck around a bit + it's for good and not evil! (+ hi ten hi donna!!!)

the point is that the Doctor's been having a bit of an identity crisis ever since this face arrived, and spent all of s8 running around seemingly just dissociating from themself and everyone else in the Universe, and s9 they've sorta been going. oh hey people. I don't want to be an asshole anymore. I got flashcards! (I wish actually the flashcards had been there from s8, I think they would have made s8 Doctor much more fun to engage with for me)

these episodes really feel like the episodes to fully nail that, although s9 has been going in that direction from the start. can I trace it back to anything particular in s8, yeah, I guess, it's sort of thereee in certain interactions, especially in the last few episodes. truth be told, now I'm a little away from s8, it's like I can't quite remember just how pissed off and distant he was all the time, I've just got to trust my notes saying he was (this is why we take notes kids -- the kids are me, I did not take notes for s9 so now there is a very limited amount of time I have to write these reviews before it stops existing for me)

I think this works. I have... questions... about the "can't travel with another immortal" bit which I'm putting here, because while I like the Doctor finally voicing their thoughts on some of the internal stuff that's been going on (which, notably isn't to Clara, but then again the Doctor often doesn't tell their emotions to companions, because they must be Spared, get some therapy king, and apologise to Martha Jones someday) -- while I like the Doctor and Me having that conversation about "the mayflies" (which I'm also into as descriptor), I feel like it's a bit of a cop out, similar to back when River Song was like "naahhh can't travel with you because scheduling issues uh Real Plot Reasons I swear" and just like then, I feel like they wrote their way into a corner with this one

I think personally Me should have flat out refused the Doctor. Or have it be like with Jack Harkness -- You Feel Wrong To Me, because Me is frankly a nightmare creature according to season 9, and by this I mean not in personality (remarkably chill considering linear immortality spent Alone until the end of the Universe???) but simply wait what you can just make people immortal like that??? Doctor Who Explain!

I think the Doctor should have been wahaaaay more disturbed having created a fuckn Creature, not just because she may do immoral things because she forgets what it's like to be mortal, but because it's some fuckn Horror Shit that's going on here. I mean, it's there and I'll read more into it, but it's so. "oh yeah, this is a thing I can do, and I chose to do" and not "wait was this a really really really fucked up thing to do??? am I the bad guy???????????? do I remember life and death as concepts???????????????????????????" this is noooot Fires of Pompeii where they handy-dandy yoink out some people so they don't burn to death, this is bringing someone back from the dead and MAKING THEM IMMORTAL. this is more Time Lord Victorious than Just Save Someone

I can tell this will be in my head for awhile....

PREVIOUS DOCTOR WHO: looots of fun references in these episodes, generally just a good time. the only thing is... immortal Me. is. so. immortal. the most immortal. I spit on your other immortals. how did you immortal so hard?? harder than any other immortal character??? did it have to be so, for writing reasons???? (you can probably tell at this point I will be returning to this concept in the finale review!)

“SEXINESS”: I... genuinely do not remember. I don't think there's anything weird here. I should've taken notes, but past me was having a time.

INTERNAL WORLD: there's two worlds here and both are actually fine. I feel like we're not just in these times as set dressing (like I often felt with the paternoster gang and the victorians). the Vikings are a coherent village and I care about them (maybe not totally historically accurate but that's not the point with this, it's the feeling that they belong in the world set up for them) and the 1600s part 2 was given enough to feel lived in. I think it especially helped in both cases that we were seeing people around the leads who felt real -- that's what has often been missing in the past of this era, that it's not just the Super Impressive Immortals And Aliens And Important People but that people exist in these kinds of stories (and they're all important)

POLITICS: this was super unintentional and I'm mostly having a laugh but...

Lady Me: My chosen name is "Me." The Doctor: No it's not [deadnames her].

Doctor Stooop you literally chose your own name in canon!!!

generally, okay, I'm being a meanie here in over-analysing, but I do wish what is very similar to an orlando-type storyline were more queer. orlando is like. my jam. and this character is basically orlando. and she crossdresses. but a queer writer would have been soooo much juicier with this narrative. it's especially noticeable as we've got a couple of literal gender-crossings with Time Lords, but I do think the show is still in its... not infancy but let's say toddler-era when it comes to queer intersectional feminist vibes. it's basically still doing the "girls rule, boys drool" type thing

FULL RATING: 67/100 (if I can count….)

I CANNOT STRESS HOW PERTURBED I AM BY CASUAL HALFWAY THROUGH A SEASON IMMORTAL CHARACTER CREATION. fuckn. who knows when I'll have finished rolling that around in my head

they're good episodes, this is a good season, but. and I write this having recently finished said season. the things it's setting up will not be paid off for me, which is a shame. I enjoy this season, but I enjoy it more for its parts than its whole. I like a lot of the ideas it's putting out that will end up coming back in the last episode. but it's. the way it casually does things and asks me to go along with them, when I'm going, "no nonono wait, I have questions about this one, you can't throw away the rule book entirely," and just adds plot and emotional beats without build-up to those beats. I like those beats, but why didn't you build to them??? (this was a problem in the first double-episode, it's a problem in this double-episode, and I know it'll be a problem in the last three episodes, post Sleep No More)

mayflies though. I do like the mayflies

#im watching nu!who #im watching capaldi who #episode the girl who died #episode the woman who lived #the measurement #oooh i started this write-up at 10 and it is now 1am.. go tf to sleep

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paperlovesadness · 1 year

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do you think “jet skis on the moat” and “body paint” are about miles? or just “jet skis…”?

Heyyy

Oh my goodness. I'm so so sorry for how late I'm responding to this! I remember leaving it aside because I knew I could sit down and write a whole big answer, but then it kind of escaped my mind. But I'm here now! And will make up for it with probably another novel-length answer 🙈

Disclaimers are always: this is for fun. This is one of a million possible interpretations and even I have a lot of those in my head but just choose the 'loudest' one to share. (Sometimes I'll publish an analysis and then have a million new ideas about the song one day when listening to it. Nothing is fixed). This is based a lot on "vibes" cause it's so hard to understand the The Car songs, man.

Okay - so firstly, like I always say with The Car - I do believe that album is first and foremost extremely introspective. And Alex likes to say or suggest in interviews that there isn't too much straight up references to his actual life in there... Now I don't completely believe that? He just definitely doesn't want to talk about them (as usual).

What I see in there is a jumble of emotions and feelings and self-reflection - perhaps done in a less straightforward way than he would do previously. Maybe he did it more instinctively? But there's a strong feeling it is there.

So I do think most songs are just... about Alex's inner workings and feelings (also perhaps why it seems more abstract?) - but do some of those have the potential to refer to a very important and seemingly complicated, undefined relationship in his life? I do believe so.

Body Paint - I've tried looking at from different perspectives. And I'm not sure I found enough to connect it to Miles.

Although - there's a mysterious little detail that I've been overthinking for a while - which is this recurring theme of paint in a few songs. This is probably a prime example of my useless overthinking (and Alex would probably laugh about these sorts of connections being made) - but have you ever noticed:

There's still a trace of body paint On your legs and on your arms and on your face

Exactly the wrong time in exactly the wrong place. Save it for a rainy day. Baby, you go hard in the paint

Or are you just happy to sit there and watch while the paint job dries?

(Body Paint // Anyways // Jet Skis on the Moat)

So like do Jet Skis connect somehow with Body Paint (and Anyways) in themes? 👀

Who knows. But that's just a side observation 😅

Now Jet Skis - Jet Skis being connected to Miles possibly maybe I can see a bit more. With lyrics like:

Come over here and give your buddy a hug

So much for deciding not to let it slide

Because? You know our Milex brains work on overdrive hearing stuff like that. Can it be about anything? Yep. Does it bring to mind a certain someone whose been this man's favorite hug buddy? Also yup. Now extrawild theory territory:

"Deciding not to let it slide" kind of makes me think of how perhaps they've maybe established some new boundaries after crossing a bit too many. Like perhaps one of them went and "killed the joke" they had going in (👀) and after that some boundaries were set. Not letting more-than-friendly things happen. Not letting shit like that slide anymore... Until the next time (so much for that resolution!)

Lights out in the Wonder Park

Your saw-toothed lover boy was quick off the mark

That's long enough in the sunshine for one night

To me lights out in the wonder park is a sad image of something gone by. A wondrous place (jeez. Reference not even intended here) full of fun and joy - but the lights need to go off at some point. It's not real life; it's somewhere you can only go for so long before returning to reality.

Saw-toothed lover boy was probably what grabbed a bunch of people's attention? Miles' crooked, endearing smile (before he straightened his teeth) was something he was known for. And something Alex commented on himself I do believe a few times. (I also do know saw-toothed isn't crooked-toothed. It just sort of evokes that image to me?)

Long enough in the sunshine for one night - to me brings to mind the image of someone being given the full attention they want/deserve. But for some reason can't entirely own. (I can be yours tonight, but not tomorrow type of vibes. That's all we can have - then it's back to "real life". Lights out in the wonder park)

I don't know about the pajama pants and Subbuteo cloke. It for sure evokes childhood imagery. So maybe refers to some specific childhood story? Maybe it's about Alex. Maybe someone told him that they did that in their childhood for fun. Who knows.

And then come the super sad parts?

You know that it's alright if you wanna cry

is obviously so sad even if I can't place it anywhere specific context-wise. (Also seems to evoke Body Paint a bit with "Do your time traveling through the tanning booth So you don't let the sun catch you crying" and "I'm watching your every move I feel the tears are coming on")

And then:

Is there somethin' on your mind

Or are you just happy to sit there and watch

While the paint job dries?

When it's over, you're supposed to know

Okay - so what if paint is some specific metaphor? I haven't found a good enough theory for what that could be (would love to hear your thoughts if you agree and have ideas!) (though... i mean in Body Paint itself there's some interesting theories 👀 not sure it works with the rest though). And now... Watching it dry signifies the end or hibernation of something. But then "when it's over you're supposed to know" - kind of suggests like that ending isn't something that the person it refers to is ready to accept. It still seems like an open possibility. Like one side is still hoping.

As though it's the last time you're gonna ride

Is also sad - suggests something seeming like it's ending. It's the last time. But then there's that "as though". Like an open possibility, hope of it not really being true.

But damn; this is a big mess! Because The Car songs are so hard to analyze, they're so abstract. I can definitely see what Alex has been saying about focusing more on the melody and the emotions it evokes and lyrics kind of being an extension of that. Taking a backseat for a second (hehe. Car pun. Not even intended).

It would seem the album that's set on the actual moon would be as mixed up and tough to decipher as if gets but nope! Alex took up the challenge of cranking it up a notch. Because of course he did.

Anyway. I hope any of this makes sense and/or resonates with someone and their thoughts about this song 💛

Thank you for the question, sorry for the delay!

Sending good energy your way! 💫

#ask #song theory #lyric analysis #The Car album #Jet Skis on the Moat

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picnokinesis · 9 months

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Taka!! Hello!! I saw you have watched Wolf and I’m curious about your thoughts on it ?! I loved it so much tbh, cause I started watching it for Sacha but I ended up finding the plot and the rest of the characters rly compelling too :D

SKSKSK harsh cut to footage of me specifically reblogging wolf posts from your blog to coax you into my askbox as an internet version of Molina's homemade deer trap -

BUT YES HELLO oh my days it was so much fun, right? I also definitely started watching it for sacha, and - okay well, let's put all the spoilers under the cut

SKSKS so. Came for Sacha. Stayed for Sacha.......and then watched the last 30 minutes because I wanted to know the answers (SKSK BUT ALSO his...CORPSE was on the floor in all the important scenes so y'know! He was still there in spirit)

But MAN wow did sacha and iwan steal the show, right?? They were absolutely AMAZING! Absolutely killing it, made me crack up multiple times they were just...literally the best duo. And man the twist at the end of episode five just GRABBED ME because wow, I really should have seen it coming and it was the best kind of twist where it suddenly made everything Molina had been doing make sense. And like - man, I'm just in awe of Sacha's acting, yknow? The guy acted his SOCKS off in this, like right from the first episode, you know that scene where they reveal that he is. not in fact a police officer SKKSKS but it's like the spyfall reveal, right? the mask drop. only, unlike in spyfall, this isn't sudden - it's a slow ramp-up of something being very wrong with this guy, gradually becoming more and more unhinged, and Sacha just NAILED it. Absolutely phenomenal. And then the way they just added so much DEPTH to his character augh, I wanted him to get out of the whole thing SO BAD even though I knew it was super unlikely. But augh by episode 5 he was SO nervous and paranoid, and then he just spent the first half of episode 6 just.....so palpably terrified?? Augh. Love him. So sad he got stabbed in the neck rip but he made up for it by having the most incredible dialogue with molina for five episodes straight skskks (i'm still losing it over 'you're not going to shower?? ....you handled intenstines today' SKSKSKSK like. ok real talk when I first saw the trailer for wolf I immediately came up with au6, yet another campervan au, which I will probably do not much with but SKSKKS the vibes were there in the series and it was a DELIGHT)

With regards to the rest of the story, it was super interesting, right? I feel like you possibly enjoyed it slightly more than I did (I was like. semi-frequently getting extremely annoyed at the random sexual content that seemed wildly tonally dissonant 80% of the time - I was SO SALTY that Sacha's opera lipsynch of our dreams with a SWORD was intercut with. that. and then also Jack's tendency to just like. physically assault people as a method of questioning like BOY that is. that is a CRIME sir. I know you're desperate for justice but do not boyo. But that's kind of a recurring pet peeve I have with crime shows as a rule sksksk). That said though - I did REALLY love Jack, and guh the stuff with his neighbour was SO creepy (LIKE THOSE WEREN'T NIGHTMARES??? HELLO???????) and maaaaaaaaan the stuff with the donkey pitch was so messed up and creepy. It was really good though. I did feel a bit like...'eh' on the end reveal about who the Donkey Pitch murderers were - that was probably in part because Honey had just died RIP but also hmmm idk, like obviously Molina was one of them, but I feel like I kinda wanted more on who Molina actually WAS, other than just some person Lucia knew from when she was in psychiatric care? Like my running theory the whole time had been that he was actually Theo, Hugo's older brother, simply because he looked a heck of a lot like Hugo skksks and it had just been an interesting throw-away line from Hugo's dad that didn't really go anywhere. I think also the twist with Lucia rang a bit hollow to me simply because the twist with Molina had been SO satisfying because it made all these little weird things make sense and I felt like I SHOULD have known (especially after honey and matilda's scene where they talk about letting people think they're more stupid than they are), but with Lucia (at least, for me personally) it felt a bit more out of the blue. But it was good, don't get me wrong - the stuff with her, hugo and sophie made a lot of sense and maaaaaaaaan that was so dark. And then I REALLY loved the ending for Jack, like the decision to not reveal what actually happened at the donkey pitch, and him finding out that stuff about his brother and then burning the treehouse and FINALLY getting some control back over the whole thing.........BUT THEN INTERCUT WITH THE REVEAL THAT HIS BROTHER HAD BEEN ALIVE?????? LIKE????????? AHHH??? That was SO well done.

Anyway. Show good. I enjoyed. There was actually a lot of things narratively and thematically that I particularly enjoyed - like even though the two storylines felt quite disparate at times, there were so many things connecting them or echoing between them! Off the top of my head, it's things like the idea of people being in your house and doing stuff when you're asleep - like with Penderecki but also how Molina and Lucia did that too with Sophie and Hugo. And then how like, Matilda tries to break that bathroom mirror to escape, and then Jack and Lincoln are escaping in a, uh. Different way and they DO break a bathroom mirror. Stuff like that. There were definitely more than that but I can't remember them right now, but it was like....idk the way that they echoed between each other gave it an internal resonance which made it very satisfying to watch (and is actually the same technique I've tried to use in campervan part 6, which is possibly why it appealed to me so much!). I also really liked the repeated use of mirrors and mirror shots - I feel like that was trying to say something too but I haven't quite untangled it yet. But yeah! Fun times.

#taka replies #bbc wolf #praxeus-13 #lots of thoughts

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adultswim2021 · 1 year

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Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! #7: “Abstinence” | March 25, 2007 - 11:45PM | S01E07

Another one! I think this one sags a bit, but it’s nothing too objectionable. Everything is good, but nothing is GREAT, or has stuff in it that sorta rubs me the wrong way. I think that’s because it has more guests than usual, and less Tim & Eric than usual.

We open with a sketch starring Will Forte, who is great, and this sketch is mostly good. It’s a local ad for Lazy Horse Mattress & Bedding. It’s been run through VHS to make it look authentically vintage, though the little animation still looks digital and betrays it’s origins. Sorry! I’m a verisimilitude appreciator! This sketch ends with a look into Will’s psyche, where he’s screaming and battling demons and ripping people’s arms off and wow, it’s twisted. His performance is great, and it looked like a lot of fun to shoot! I like how he trails off when he says “mattre–” to demonstrate how quickly you’ll fall asleep in one of his beds.

When the sketch recurs, it’s just these dark nightmare moments of Will screaming and blood-splattered. My main sticking point with this sketch is the little bit where he looks into the camera gingerly and introduces himself with a sing-songy “I’m a demon.”. That bit always seemed jokey in a way that is unwelcome to me when I’m watching Tim & Eric. I wonder if I’m the only one in the world who feels this way? Notably, the commercial states the store is off Richard Dunn memorial highway (RIP).

The hosting segments are Tim & Eric looking very businessy. These bits are shot to look like an industrial video of some sort, where they are describing their brilliant work process which has involved firing their friends and hiring old men to save money. This has a very funny moment where Richard Dunn pitches a sketch to Tim & Eric where Tim has broken his fingernail and needs a pedicure. Honestly? A legit good idea. Richard Dunn wasn’t funny because he was an old confused man; he was funny because he just naturally was on Tim & Eric’s wavelength. The other old men, Tim & Eric noted on the commentary, were a little too borscht-belt and Dunn was actually sort of an outsider among the guys they got. This sketch also casually mentions that Richard Dunn had passed away, which at the time was just a joke. I remember me and other Tim & Eric fans watching along in real time were sad, thinking it could be real!

These segments frequently segue into a great DJ Douggpound bit of fun where tight close-ups of Tim & Eric’s faces making strange sounds or saying random words becomes a cool beat right before our very eyes. Stuff like this is what makes Awesome Show so great (job).

The titular sketch features David Cross as a Pizza Boy walking straight into a women’s locker room to deliver a pizza pie to an extremely hot woman, real-life adult actress Abbey Brooks. Am I going to deride this show for being “too Comedy Central” for featuring a large-chested woman? No. I’m not. I’m a hypocrite for not repeating myself verbatim. This sketch isn’t that good. It’s fine. I don’t consider it bad, but I do consider it mid. The part where David addresses the camera and says “I ain’t no ho-ho” rubs me the wrong way the same way “I’m a demon” does! Not to pick nits, but what the fuck else should I be doing here?

This is part of a further outreach program teaching abstinence in general. Jan and Wayne Skyler are abstaining from sex (which Jan is happy about, but not Wayne… TYPICAL FRIGGIN’ GUY!!!). This leads to footage of a parade featuring a call back to Do Dah Doo Doo, which is being performed on a parade float. They’re tossing cold hot dogs to the crowd, who eventually start chucking them back. This seems less like a substantial sketch and more of “let’s use this footage SOMEHOW because it was so unpleasant to shoot”. But it’s brief and it’s funny.

Maria Bamford has a sketch that I neglected to write down, and I’m not even sure I can recall the premise of the show she’s hosting. Maria had previously lent her voice to Tom Goes to the Mayor in the Porcelain Birds episode (maybe others? I forget!). She’s hosting some lady show and melts down. I don’t know if she’s the MVP of the episode. While you can easily draw lines from David Cross to Tim & Eric, I think she’s more of a kindred spirit to their style of comedy. Dare I say that she’s one of the best living people currently? I honestly think she might be.

The last sketch to cover is Eric trying to open up an account with an automated kiosk at the Cinco International Credit Union. We get a Taargus reference, which is nice. The kiosk is uncooperative, and keeps saying Eric lives in a boat (rude). This is a solid sketch, but I wouldn’t call it a classic. Of their output, it’s the closest thing to a traditional sketch that they’ve ever done. Word on the commentary was that Eric didn’t like this sketch and was in a bad mood while doing it. It turns out fine.

The first four Awesome Shows are pretty incredible, and I think maybe 5-7 represent a minor mid-season sag. But I remember the next couple very fondly. Onward!

EPHEMERA CORNER:

Holiday Havoc: “Venture Aid 2006″ | Christmas 2006

MERRY CHRISTMAS to all those who give a shit. And to those who don’t: I hope you did your grocery shopping already and that you are somewhere warm.

Did I forget about this when I covered the end of 2006, or did I intentionally save it for Christmas Day? It’s a mystery, and always will be. Anyway, this is maybe one of my favorite of the Venture Bros. Holiday Havoc songs, and I like it better than other comedic versions of this song. You can download it here! I hope! Somebody probably has it on YouTube if not.

MAIL BAG

"You don’t have to outgrow anything if you don’t wanna. " Great point, which is why I still proudly watch MTV with the lights off, if you catch my drift.

Are they still showing Undressed? WOW... A sexual series. No, an IMPORTANT sexual series.

It's almost Christmas as I send you this mailbag (5AM Eastern on Christmas Day) what is a good gift idea for the Adult Swim fan in your life?

As an Adult Swim fan I would have to say a check for 6 thousand dollars to cover their IRS debt would be perfect.

Oh my god. It's Santa! Santa's here everybody. (ho ho ho) Santa has finally made it.

Santa... goddamn. Look, I know and you know that by staying up all night and waiting up for you I forfeit my right to your wonderful presents. But I just gotta say... meeting a proper legend like you is all the gift I need. Now... let’s have that beer I wrote to you about...

#tim and eric awesome show great job #adult swim #adultswim2021 #pizza

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adamwatchesmovies · 2 months

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The Next Karate Kid (1994)

The first film in the Karate Kid series not to feature Ralph Macchio has convincing performances and enough heart to make it the kind of sequel that’s not quite good but still possibly worth recommending to little girls. They might respond to it better than the original film. Maybe. Ultimately, all of the good in The Next Karate Kid is counterbalanced by its cartoonish villains. Combined with the all-too-familiar elements and you've got a film with limited appeal.

While reconnecting with the widow of an old friend, Mr. Miyagi (Noriyuki “Pat” Morita) is introduced to her granddaughter, Julie (Hillary Swank). To help the high schooler deal with the anger of losing her parents and the bullies at school, Miyagi takes her under his wing.

Let’s start with the pros. This is Hillary Swank’s first theatrical appearance in a starring role and she’s great. She and Miyagi have terrific chemistry - more than enough to make you forget about Danny once the plot gets going. She handles the fight and stunt sequences well. Morita also surprises us in the unusually numerous amount of scenes that call for Mr. Miyagi to fight. Though there are ultimately more missed opportunities than payoffs in this gender-swapped scenario, any scenes with Miyagi and Julie warm your heart. The two take an excursion about halfway through the film to a Buddhist monastery to deal with Julie’s anger and learn about the true ways of karate. I'd call it the best scene but for a different viewer, it might be the one in which Miyagi teaches Julie to dance to get ready for prom.

On the negative side, when the writing gets bad, it's so awful you'll start thinking things you were never supposed to think of. You’d expect a female villain to go up against our female protagonist, but no. The film’s most prominent baddie is Ned Randall (Michael Cavalieri). I wasn’t able to find out when he was born so I’m not sure how old he was during filming but he looks 30. With his gang of dudebros always harassing Julie, waiting for her in the dark and chasing after her during the school after-hours, he looks like a serial killer rapist. Grown men leering at Julie is a bit of a recurring motif throughout the film, which makes it even more uncomfortable. It’s like there are racists and abusive men around every corner: at the gas station, the bowling alley, the school…

Assuming that Ned is supposed to be roughly Julie’s age - and not some creep who’s been held back for the larger part of a decade - he would be placed second in the list of “most heinous characters” in this film. The gold medal goes to Colonel Paul Dugan (Michael Ironside). The man’s a straight-up psychopath; bullying Julie nearly as much as his head crony does and taking any opportunity to strike his students or break them mentally. At one point, Julie has started a bit of a relationship with a boy named Eric (Chris Conrad). While at practice with the Colonel, Eric is called away to speak to his mother (actually, Julie pretending to be his mother) on the office phone. The Colonel tells him if he leaves, he’s off the team. For taking a call from his mom? What? And he proclaims this in front of the school secretary. What sort of Ironside grip does he hold over this establishment that he can go around doing whatever he wants, including setting up late-night Mortal Kombat-style death matches with his students?

As a whole, The Next Karate Kid is unmemorable and unnecessary. There’s so much that could’ve been done with the fact that teenage girls are usually bullied in a very different way than boys, or Miyagi getting to care for a girl after losing his daughter years ago. Instead, there’s a subplot early on about Julie taking care of an injured bird that feels like it was added just to fill time and make this different from the original. Well, this is different alright; The Karate Kid is great. This is mediocre at best. (January 21, 2022)

#The Next Karate Kid #the Karate Kid #movies #films #movie reviews #film reviews #Christopher Cain #Mark Lee #Noriyuki “Pat” Morita #Hillary Swank #Michael Ironside #1994 movies #1994 films

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isaacathom · 1 year

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ds9 time, s2e8 and s2e9

hellO? Hello! madame? madame! oh mon dieu. introduced staring dramatically out the window as the thunder rolls, simply sublime, madame. it a good outfit also. oh shes a queen. oh i love her. shes got such Verve. oh shes excellent. im like 80% sure she dies based on my memory of the wikipedia summary for this episode (versus the netflix summary) but man. shes great. shes got charisma. i know thats not the point here but nevertheless.

i like that this season they seem to be expanding who gets to be the log character. like its uuuusually sisko but there was one that started with Bashir, and this one starts with Odo. Im a fan of that.

oh thats a good fucking opening sequence. going from odos utterly exasperated log to quark and rom being devious. yes!

oh that mans about to be fucking murdered again for real. oh like for real for real straight murdered his ass okay.

excuse me bashir how the fuck did you just pronounce the word 'trauma'. trama???? sir?

i mean yeah you should accuse rom until rom sees fit to explain shit, but its very funny that sisko chooses to describe rom as a 'family friend'. thats kinda sweet. when are the boys gonna go on a roadtrip (later in the season yes i know)

YO THE CHANGE TO A FLASHBACK WITH LIGHTING CHANGES YEEAAAAH

GUL DUKAT?

Oh this is fascinating. oh this fucks.

KIRA NERYS????????????????????????????????

"i better get back to my bar" "🙄 hes not dead yet rom" god odo is so fucking good

"it wouldn't have mattered to the cardassians" "it mattered to me" ooooooh my god

oh here we go heres the bit where odo trips ass backwards into something, love you man but my god you have improved as an investigator with time

got his ass kira

god shes so hot (is this about kira or mrs vaatrik? yes)

god her OUTFIT. her VIBE. impeccable. exceptional.

the way she acts out her little emotional shifts, the way she acts when the door closes, augh! its so good. like idk what the fuck shes doing but shes doing great.

im just engaged honestly this rules

i love that it leads you to believe for a bit that kira killed vaatrik, then one two weeoo.

rom going from :D im a hero to D: i saved my brothers life, on god, comedy

OH SHES GOING FROM STRENGTH TO STRENGTH. THE OUTFIT. THE FIT!!! THE FIT MADAME I ADORE YOU

'youll never be able to prove i killed my husband because i didn't' 'i know' oh SUBLIME

oh so there was the misdirect that kira was doing something unrelated but no, no she was involved?? OHHHH THATS CLEVER. she knew what happened on lvl 21 because she was INVOLVED but not the one DOING it, oh thats clever man i like that.

god thats actually really goo- oh no theres the ground upon which a romance will be built. oh man. at least the two are very compelling so this is fine.

odos genuine look like.... sadness? when kira says that he was worried telling the truth would affect their friendship? lads. oh yeah. like that scene is DEFINITELY serving as a ground floor to build a relationship on later, i know this already, but fuck thats dramatic. god. exceptional shit. mwah.

man that episode fucks! that episode was so good! genuinely really like it. the misdirect with the wife, the misdirect with kira, its EXCEPTIONAL stuff.

okay im in the mood, lets pop in another.

oh this scene is cute. its just really sweet. ive been missing jake a little as like, an opportunity to see soft sisko. very nice.

i dont remember how this episode was synops- nevermind i remember how this episode was synopsised on wikipedia, hello madame. oh shes also get an exceptional look. these last two eps theyve taken their two guest female leads and put them in some LOOKS.

Fenna is a recurring character, isnt she. im POSITIVE i saw that name in multiple synopsis. or maybe that was unrelated. its taking a lot of self control not to go check.

uhoh lads we got an alien situation on hand, not unusual given the circumstances but an unusual situation in specific, we're hallucinating hot women on the promenade.

ohh this is the star one, okay, there are many eps with similar synopsis (i was pulling up a transcript for reasons)

its always funny and a little heartbreaking when the way character A realises somethings up with character B because theyre too upbeat and cheerful. like yes, very funny that Kira immediately id's thats smths up because hes friendly b4 his morning coffee but also :( ykwim

eugh. flashing. nasty.

see my thing is im sitting here going, wasnt reigniting a dead star a plot in a tng ep? or, maybe that was trying to save a DYING star. there was some dead or dying star involved. i believe it exploded? there are possibly a couple come to think of it. there was definitely one of a similar thrust though i think.

"i never fail. well, i did once. but i found it didnt agree with me, so i swore never to do it again and i never break my word" this guy rules

this guy. feels familiar. do i know you sir. im gonna find out. he is not anyone i know, nevermind, hes just got one of those faces.

Heterosexuals™️. like listen i think shes attractive also but this went from 0 to like 75 very quickly. okay i read the summary this is very very heterosexuals.

cringe.

okay the little bit with him and dax? cute. they do have a good dynamic. that was cute.

obrien in the background of this like "? i feel like everyones in on a joke im missing. what the fuck." and thats frankly a mood.

oh she still has a nice outf- ohh i see. okay so we're operating on an extremely basic visual level here - Fenna wears vibrant colours and clothes that are more revealing, less restrictive (no sleeves, whatever the boob window situation is), Nidell wears muted colours that are fully covering, Okay, Okay, boring zzz. like i get it. i know what theyre Doing. i just think that its a kinda boring way of doing it. does that make sense? maybe i just think so because if i was free to dress how i liked, using psychic projection, id be dressed like an edwardian dandy or smth, like my most uninhibited self isnt just me with my tits out. but when the character will be present for a single episode (?) you cant really get too deep in the weeds, you need to operate on the more basic level of it.

my feeling is this episode kinda sucks but there are little good bits. Quark offering sisko a drink was good, honestly. like theres good like character dynamic bits. in fact id say that the dynamic the regular cast is having with sisko is the strongest part of the episode, which is bas considering the main POINT is the relationship between him and Fenna.

benjamin kisses her, she disappears into energy, he immediately facepalms and groans, sir youve been fucking supernaturally romanced my good man

okay so this guy does suck but his delivery on 'dont ask me why [she loves me]... but she does' kinda hits. theres a bit of genuine emotion buried under his bravado and facade.

"theres nothing i can do" was bashir not available this episode aside from the dinner scene- oh i guess you are currently isolated in space, nevermind.

heterosexuals™️

yeah that episode kinda sucks, sorry lmao.

#ds9 blogging #necessary evil was very good. second sight... was not #alas alack! not much for it

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cinnamonest · 3 years

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Genshin Boys - Sleeping HCs

Sleeping hcs for the boys that literally no one asked for bc the Xiao post gave me spontaneous inspiration and I can't stay focused on the things im supposed to write and this history paper im on rn is literally the most boring academic piece ive ever written and i need distraction. Thank you.

UPDATED 11/30/22

The most recently updated version, edited some older characters and added Tighnari, Itto, Cyno, Al Haitham, Ayato, and Heizou. Sorry for the length, for some reason (maybe bc it’s an old post I’m editing?) it won’t let me insert a readmore/cut, although hopefully if you’re seeing this on your feed it’ll cut most of it off automatically.

Also looking back that paper I originally mentioned still really WAS the most boring academic piece I’ve ever written. Sigh.

//mild mentions of yandere content, some very slight mentions of ns/fw things.

======================

Childe is a side sleeper, one of those people that has to be holding something. Before you he had a body pillow. Now you're the body pillow. But like, it's not super pleasant, boy has an IRON grip and sometimes you have to hit him and wake him up because he's suffocating you from holding you so tight. Also unfortunately for darling, he doesn't snore but he's a heavy mouth breather. So basically you're always spooning but you can feel him breathing on the back of your neck. Also, sometimes he turns over to his other side and he will take you with him, he doesn't even wake up, our unnaturally strong boy keeps his grip so tight that when he turns over you get flipped over with him and land on your other side, and again he doesn't even wake up in the slightest. Also mumbles every now and then, but its incoherent. He falls asleep very quickly, is usually pretty exhausted from his day.

Also sleeps naked, and you will too, whether you like it or not. Makes things easier when he wakes up in the middle of the night with needs, so he doesn’t have to bother pulling things off. At least he bothers to give you a shake and warn you a few seconds beforehand. ----------

Zhongli doesn't sleep a whole lot, a few hours less than most. He's something of a morning person, but if you're not, he's very understanding of that, and will stay quiet and let you sleep for a while. When he does sleep, he likes to sleep on his back, and because he's so broad-shouldered and firm he can sleep perfectly with you laying on top of him, which he likes a lot. He's a fairly silent sleeper, might utter a word or phrase, but not a lot, only once a night at most, and breathes quietly. Funnily enough, it always seems to be work-related when he does talk. The way he sleeps is rather nice though, because you can be lulled to sleep by the rising and falling of his chest as he breathes. But he's a very, very light sleeper, wakes up several times a night for no real reason and just goes back to sleep, thankfully usually softly enough it doesn’t wake you. He keeps an arm on you, but it's not too heavy or tight. Tends to have a very neutral, straight face while he sleeps.

That being said, there is a recurring problem that presents a challenge to the otherwise peaceful nights. Sometimes, illuminated beasts will subconsciously revert or change forms in their sleep according to their dreams. He is not an exception to this, although thankfully it’s only once a week or so. You will wake up to getting clonked in the head with a horn at least once. Otherwise, sometimes you get woken up by the sudden feeling of being cold, only to find a sprouted reptilian tail wrapped around your body, cold scales pressed to your skin, and if a particularly unfortunate night, gripping you far too tightly. At least he wakes up easily if you tap him a bit, and will revert back, but may often do it again in the same night.

Also, he’s very strict on bedtimes. No, you can’t stay up past midnight, it’s not good for you. In fact, he will most likely demand you go to bed far earlier, and if you don’t comply, he always sighs, says you’re being immature, and takes matters into his own hands by forcibly carrying you to bed anyway. ----------

Venti has a cute sleep? Its like. Knees curled up to his stomach, hands tucked against his chest. Likes to be the little spoon but can go either way, he just likes spooning. He talks a bit in his sleep, muttering random things, but its mumble-y and while it's better than Childe it's still hard to make out. Sometimes he even sounds like he's humming or singing, and his little fingers twitch when he does. He's also a very light sleeper and wakes up at the slightest movements or noises. He can feel your absence and will wake up immediately if you're no longer in bed. He sleeps a bit less than most people as well, maybe 6 hours or so, but he doesn't seem to have a problem staying energetic. Also a morning person, but way more annoying about it than Zhongli, will be loud and in your face at like 5 am. You have to ask him to please let you sleep, and he does try, but he often forgets. ----------

You can have full-fledged conversations with Kaeya in his sleep. He'll listen and respond to the things you say and not wake up the entire time, he's a moderate sleeper, he'll wake up to touch/light but not sounds/talking. Of course it's usually nonsensical and weird random things, so you can have some rather funny conversations, BUT he'll also admit to things he wouldn't while he's awake, so if you ask him where the keys to your locks are he'll flat out tell you. Poor thing doesn't know how you keep managing to find the keys, he hid them so well this time! Also tends to be a sprawler, will definitely hit you in the face from his arms flopping around every now and then. Always tossing, turning, moving around. It can get annoying if darling is a light sleeper, or even a medium sleeper, because the movements will definitely wake you up. Likes sleeping facing each other, one arm under your head and the other wrapped around you. Sometimes can be a stomach sleeper, but keeps an arm latched around you still. On a soft note, he has a tendency to have nightmares, and will jolt awake sometimes, only to pull you in closer for comfort. He's used to functioning on a few hours of sleep, too.

However, it’s a bit different if it’s a drunken sleep. In which case, like most people, he sleeps very heavily, barely moves at all, and is very difficult to wake up. Due to the frequency of late night drinking in his life, he often gets bad hangovers in the next morning, and will be groaning with the headache even if you manage to wake him up during the night.

Also, especially if he goes to bed intoxicated, while he usually manages to take everything else off, he sometimes forgets the eyepatch, which results in it getting moved all around his face, you'll wake up and it'll be over his nose or mouth or something, which is kind of comical to look at. Sometimes it comes off completely and he has to go looking for it if it fell under the bed or got lost in the covers somehow. ----------

Diluc is a heavy sleeper, to an extreme. This man could sleep through a literal siege on his estate. He wasn't so much when he was younger, but he works harder now and his work can get exhausting. This is actually kinda beneficial if you want to plan an escape while he sleeps, by the way. He's also a big spoon all the time, also unfortunately breathes down your neck, because he kinda buries his face into the crook of your neck. Also can be very grumpy in the morning, especially if woken up early. Unlike Kaeya he needs the most sleep time wise out of all the guys, if my boy doesn't get his full 8 hours (or more) he's not gonna function properly. Also, he can fall asleep anywhere and under any conditions. Sitting at a desk doing paperwork, standing up, in broad daylight, surrounded by loud noise, doesn't matter, he can fall asleep and do so quickly. He's actually kind of embarrassed by it sometimes. Doesn't sleep talk, he sleeps too deeply for that. ----------

Razor mimics what he's observed all his life so he kinda curls into a ball, which to be fair a lot of people do too, legs curled up, but his is also kinda hunched over, however, he lets his arms stick out. But he's a restless sleeper (bb has dark circles y'know) and tends to come out of that position in his sleep and sprawl out. Also, before he goes to sleep he does the dog thing where they kinda curl around in a circle on themselves a few times before they plop down. Canines also sleep really physically close in groups and touching in some way, so he curls up against you, but actually prefers to cuddle up face-to-face rather than spooning in any way. Let's hope you're not a touch sensitive sleeper, because you'll also definitely have a very large animal sleeping against your back... And one touching your feet... And one breathing directly above you... You get the idea. Kinda terrifying getting woken by being hit in the face by a twitching paw the size of your head. Also, it's something he doesn't do around people when he's awake bc its embarrassing to him a bit when people stare at him and make weird faces in response, but he actually does communicate with his family with barks and growls and the like sometimes, so he does that in his sleep a bit. ----------

Albedo sleeps like a robot turned to an “off” setting. On his back, still, folds his hands perfectly on his stomach, fairly quiet, you could almost think it was a corpse if you couldn’t see the slight rise and fall of his chest and hear him breathe. But once he has you, he likes to be cuddly, so he kinda changes to being a side-sleeper.

He also sleeps like a rock. Worse than Diluc even. He either wakes up on his own, or it takes a lot of effort -- you will have to really shake him hard for him to wake up. It's kind of funny, it seems to contrast his personality a bit, since he's soft-voiced and a light eater, you'd almost expect him to be the same with sleeping, the traits sort of logically follow that he’s be a light sleeper. But nope, he's out light a light when he sleeps. But also it's not a wise idea to wake him up. He's not a morning person, can get in a really bad mood and grumpy over it. Definitely a "don't talk to me until I've eaten/had coffee/whatever thing he uses to wake up" kind of person. But he never sleep talks or even mumbles, doesn't even really move or toss or turn or fidget or anything like that. He sleeps, again, like a rock, completely still, but is also a heavy breather. Also can create dead weight as a result of his heavy sleep -- for most people, their subconscious when sleeping keeps them from this, but his limbs really turn into deadweight when he sleeps and can be too heavy for you to breathe (or you might want to use his heavy sleeping as an escape opportunity), in which case you have to peel them off, because he won't wake up.

He doesn’t sleep naked like Childe does, usually just in a plain sleeping shirt and shorts, but perhaps surprisingly for him, he does have a tendency for dreams of a specific nature. This can result in rather uncomfortable prodding against your back or stomach or thighs, and since he’s difficult to wake up, you’ll have to just try and sleep despite it. ----------

Xiao is a twitchy, uneasy sleeper when he chooses to sleep. Always twitching, jolting, tossing and turning, making irritated facial expressions, mumbling and huffing. Easily woken up. He normally chooses not to sleep, sees no point in it, but it becomes a comforting activity with a darling to hold. As time goes on and he starts to get a real sense of comfort from a darling, he kinda becomes the opposite, starts to sleep more still and more heavily. He eventually comes to depend on his darling and can't actually sleep without their presence, needs the warmth, the comforting knowledge of their presence, and something to latch onto and grip, although it's not as firm as Childe he still has a pretty firm grip. He just likes to hold, whether being big spoon or facing each other. It can get bad if it's facing each other because he usually sleeps in that way so that he's higher up than darling horizontally, to where your face is right at his chest rather than his head, so he might accidentally nearly suffocate you that way, but he wakes up with a few taps.

And you know that whole avian past thing? It's been thousands of years since then, so he doesn't really show it when he's awake, but when he's asleep, those long-since-buried tendencies come out a bit. As he dreams, his arms bend at the elbow and press against his sides for a bit, toes all curled up. Only to sprawl out later, accompanied by an ever-so-slight movement of said arms every few moments, a faint twitching. Sometimes, every now and then, you swear you've heard a high-pitched whistle-like sound come out of his mouth. You tell him it's cute. He just buries his face in his hands and asks you not to talk about it. ----------

Xingqiu also sleeps kinda like Albedo position wise, on his back/side, and very oddly perfect posture, but he's in contrast a light sleeper, will wake up fairly easily. He's another sleep talker as well, though, he might respond to some things you say, and the words are coherent, but his answers don't make any sense, and attempts at conversation will wake him up. Also, being the spoiled rich kid he is, not a morning person and very much needs a lot of sleep in order to not be grumpy. He tends to keep his hands curled into fists and close to his chest, but he still snuggles up against you. He's also one that needs perfect conditions to sleep -- complete silence, complete darkness, a perfect amount of blankets to be comfortable with the temperature, etc. He's also one that has a lot of bad dreams, sometimes nightmares, sometimes just weird, and wakes up a lot in the middle of the night. ----------

Chongyun is a stomach sleeper, but he kinda keeps one arm latched in some way -- sometimes slung over your body, sometimes in his sleep he grabs hold of your arm, clothes, or even hair. He tends to grip like that in his sleep, rather than just slinging his arm on something he holds things with his hands, and will also grab at the sheets. He still gets very close to you and snuggly, which is good, because you're going to be cold otherwise -- he sleeps without blankets, windows open if it's good weather, so you'll be grateful for the body heat if it's cold. Poor bb talks in his sleep, and it's always him reciting his little exorcism chants, it's actually kind of adorable. He takes a while to fall asleep, can be kind of annoying because he's the type to pull the "hey... are you awake?" just to ask you some sort of weird question at like 3 in the morning. ----------

Bennett is such a light and short sleeper, it's amazing that he manages to stay so energetic all the time. He sometimes takes naps, and sleeps in intervals, because he's got so much energy he literally can't stay asleep at night for longer than a few hours. He's not a sleep talker, but sometimes groans and grunts and such. Position is... all over the place. Sometimes he sleeps on his back, sometimes stomach, sometimes on his side, it just varies, and he switches positions multiple times throughout the night. Kinda cutely, he tends to smile, even lightly laugh sometimes, while he sleeps. Although he's a much lighter, shorter sleeper, he's a bit like Diluc in that he can fall asleep anytime, anywhere, no matter the conditions. Can be very twitchy as well, his legs twitch more than his arms do, like he's still running around on adventures in his dreams. ----------

Much to his embarrassment if you ever tell him, Scaramouche sleeps with you like a koala to a tree. Like, he starts off falling asleep just next to you, maybe barely touching, but once he's asleep he moves closer and latches on tight with his arms AND legs, chest pressed against your back, face on your neck, wraps an arm around you, wraps a leg over your leg, grip is incredibly firm, there's no escape, and boi does NOT let go unless you physically force him to wake up. Which can be difficult, as he's another heavy sleeper. He won't wake up to light or touch, but he'll wake up to noise, so you have to shake him and talk to him loudly. Doesn't talk, if you try to talk to him in his sleep he just wakes up. Also very much not a morning person and characteristically unafraid of being a dick to anyone that dares to wake him up. One nice thing is that being asleep is one of a very few times you'll see him look very... peaceful. He doesn't seem angry or annoyed in his sleep, his face is very neutral and soft. Opens his mouth a little bit when he sleeps, which can even be a bit cute. ----------

Kazuha moves around a lot. Always wiggling and shifting, tossing and turning. He has a tendency to cling to you with not just his arms, but hands too. Back when he slept alone, he would often curl his hands into fists and hold them close to his chest. Now, that manifests as him clutching at your clothes, or a hand around your arm or wrist. He's also an incredibly light sleeper, he has to be from his sort of on-the-run lifestyle, and can wake up at the slightest motions from you, despite constantly moving himself, so you have to remain still as a rock while he's tossing around. He's gotten used to gentle lulling motions after being on a ship so long, but not little motions right against him.

He's also, like Kaeya, prone to nightmares, but unfortunately those alone don't wake him up on their own -- he'll groan and fidget and jerk around when he's running and fighting in his dreams, and will likely need you to shake him awake. As far as time, he's gotten used to the lifestyle demanded of him and has learned to adjust to a short sleeping schedule, often needing to sleep in short intervals and constantly being woken up for this or that, sometimes only getting a few hours before having to get up again. But, if given the opportunity, he can sleep like a rock for hours and hours, if you'll let him, and if he feels safe enough when drifting off.

Also, while he sleeps clothed due to often needing to be up at a moment’s notice, he does, similarly to Albedo, have a tendency to get hard in his sleep. It’s not so much because of dreams, it’s just a sort of involuntary reaction his body has. And unfortunately, much to his embarrassment, it usually takes a while to go down in the morning too.

----------

Thoma is another member of the "needs his sleep" club. He tries to maintain his good nature, but if he can't get at least about 5 or 6 hours, he'll end up a bit easily irritable, gets dark circles around his eyes pretty easily. He's a moderate sleeper, pretty average in terms of how easy it is to wake him up, but that's highly dependent on how much sleep he's had -- if he's well rested, it's a lot easier to wake him up, but if he has had a few days where he'd been deprived of a good sleep, it's much more likely that he'll sleep more heavily, and be harder to wake up. He kinda lazily latches an arm over you, so it's a bit easier to get away, but he does wake up pretty easily to the absence of your presence in particular. He also prefers to sleep with you facing him, which can present a problem as you might wake up to feeling smothered when he will occasionally pull you in close to his chest, but he'll certainly wake up to you beating on him, poor thing. He's also pretty adamant on bedtimes -- he's fond of routines, and unfortunately goes to bed early. He gets tired at a very specific time, usually around 9 at night, and even if you whine about not being tired, he'll just drag you to bed with him, insisting you will be once you lie down, so it's unfortunate for night owl darlings. ----------

Gorou's tail swishes in his sleep. You can generally tell what kind of dreams he's having based on the movements -- in nightmares, it stiffens out, in pleasant dreams, it lazily wags back and forth. His hands and feet twitch a bit, running and fighting in his dreams. He has a tendency to sleep with his mouth open, and breathes rather heavily and loudly. He tends to sleep in intervals rather than straight through, much like a shiba, and gets to where he needs your presence to sleep, so you'll have to adjust to the routine, usually three naps a day, three hours each or so. He's a heavy sleeper, won't wake up too easily, especially not to light, seeing as his animalistic side is used to sleeping at night or during the day. It usually takes shaking him pretty roughly to wake him up. While this might sound like it presents an escape opportunity, it... really doesn't. His grip is like iron. Much like Scaramouche, he clings to you with his full body, arms and legs and hands, spooning you with your back pressed up against him. An arm under you, an arm around you, a leg around you, hands clinging to your clothes. It's pretty much an inescapable grip. ----------

Tighnari is a very light sleeper. His instincts are to wake at the slightest of noises or movements. See, in the wild, among his kind, Papa Fox must be ready at any moment to defend his den, and thereby protect his mate and kits. Tighnari retains some of that instinct, so when a noise or movement wakes him up, he snaps to full alertness within a single second, heartrate spiking, his eyes will go wide and he sits upright and looks all around for the source of the sound. It takes him a moment to realize it's nothing, and you telling him everything is fine certainly helps, but even then, he has to wait for his heart to calm down before he can fall asleep again.

Otherwise, his sleeping is quite cute, especially as it's uncharacteristic of his usual stern, dignified personality. He sort of curls up around you, wraps his tail over his hips where the end of it drapes over yours too. You can tell what kind of dreams he's having based on his tail movements. He doesn't rapidly wag his tail quite like a certain dog boy, but if it's slowly swishing back and forth, it means it's a pleasant dream, but if his tail suddenly stiffens and does more of of an occasional jerking, twitching movement, and his ears start to twitch too, it's a not-so-pleasant one. Sometimes, though, with pleasant dreams, he even gets some memory-based dreams from when he was just a little kit, and kneads at your chest and stomach with the heels of his hands, burying his face against your abdomen. Yes, you can tease him about this, and yes, he finds it very embarrassing. Use this to your advantage. ----------

Ayato's manner of sleeping depends on how his recent days have been going. When things are fairly easy and slow-paced, nothing much going on but the usual responsibilities, he's very easy to sleep next to. Stays perfectly still, very quiet, always seems very peaceful. He's also very warm, which makes him very comforting to snuggle up to, but be sure not to get too many blankets or you'll get a bit too hot. Still, with how still and quiet he is, it's like having a warm body pillow. He also tends to wear a traditional silk robe people (at least rich people) in Inazuma wear to sleep, which is also a very nice feeling against your skin. If things have been very busy and stressful lately, however, he's more fidgety. His eyebrows will furrow in his sleep, he'll toss and turn a bit, his fingers curl up into fists. When that happens, along with the occasional mumble, he also grinds his teeth really badly, which can get very annoying very fast. Thankfully, he wakes up very easily, you can just sort of tap him lightly and his eyes will open. Thankfully, out of necessity over the years, he's also the type of person that somehow manages to completely wake up in an instant, no grogginess or brain fog, so he just gives a soft hm? and an apology when you tell him he was preventing you from sleeping. Usually, then, you can get back to sleep before he himself falls asleep again, and hopefully the grinding won't wake you up when it resumes. That being said, having your presence is so comforting, so even under stress, those nights become far less frequent than they used to be. The only other potentially negative thing, depending on the conditions you prefer, is that he sleeps better with some white noise in the background. Thus, he usually leaves the window open, to let in the sound of waves in the distance. If you prefer that too, it's good, but if you're the type that needs silence, this can also become irksome very fast. ----------

Itto sleeps very heavily. This man could sleep through a literal tornado, a siren, anything. This becomes very problematic when combined with the fact that he has a tendency to nearly suffocate you in his sleep. He sleeps on his side, latches his arm around your waist... and squeezes. The squeezing gets progressively firmer, tighter, and eventually it wakes you up when you can no longer breathe. This means you have to start squirming around, banging your fist down on his arm until he finally stirs, mumbles something or another, and shifts back a bit so the grip relents... until it starts getting tighter again. Repeat this process about 3 or 4 times per night.

Even worse than this is a few other aspects: one, he falls asleep very quickly, usually only a minute or two, always falling sleep before you do. Two, he snores at the volume of a motor engine. Three, he insists on having Ushi in the same room (he gets lonely if he has to sleep alone!! What, would you be so heartless as to put him outside, you monster?). The only thing worse than sleeping with him, is sleeping in the same room as Ushi, because much like him, the bull snores. That sort of snore some animals have where he breathes out through his mouth and makes that droopy part of the bovine upper mouth make a flapping motion and sound. It's cute when you're watching him nap in the sun during the daytime. At night when you're trying to sleep, it is significantly less cute. So now you have not one, but two very loud snores in the same room, somehow always managing to get into this perfect rhythm where when one exhales, the other inhales, so the snore sound is literally constant. That's not even getting into the moments where Ushi occasionally decides he wants to sleep with you two and not on his mat. Given that Inazuman beds are on the ground, this means it is very easy for him to waddle his way over, decide that you are very soft and warm, and then rest on top of you to sleep. And yes, you get hoof directly on your limbs when he's climbing onto you, only to have the breath knocked out of you when he flops down on your stomach. Try to move him and he will immediately crawl back onto you. It's always you, too, no matter how many times you whisper no no no, get on him instead!, he fails to listen. He just likes you.

And then the bastard has the nerve to ask why you keep nodding off during the day. What's that look for? ----------

Heizou has a bit of an issue, ever since he was a kid: he sleepwalks. Like, it can get really bad, there's been times he's wandered outside even. It's honestly incredible, he can complete tasks, has eaten food in the past while asleep, and so on. However, the telltale sign that he's sleepwalking and not just getting up in the night is that he staggers and stumbles when he walks, and eventually falls over, which always wakes him up.

With you there, though, it really helps him out quite a bit. When he wakes up and gets out of bed, you also stir and notice it, and can usually quickly get out of bed, grab him by the shoulders and shake him a bit, and thankfully he wakes up pretty easily, usually disoriented and a bit startled. He yawns, mumbles a quick apology, and takes you back to bed. Thankfully, it's not a super repetitive thing, so it almost never occurs more than once in the same night. It does happen a couple times a week, though. Sometimes you think it's a miracle he's never accidentally injured himself somehow.

Other than that, he's very easy to sleep with: no snoring, no tossing and turning, he sleeps very quiet and still, tends to lie on his back, but pressed up against you still. If you intentionally try, though, you can get him to talk in his sleep, but his replies are usually nonsensical, if not unintelligible. He also is very difficult to startle awake -- he's used to waking up by falling down hard in bizarre places, so nothing really fazes him. He also takes teasing very well if you tell him he did something embarrassing while sleepwalking, he finds it funny and doesn't get upset or anything. ----------

Al Haitham is... undignified. Much like with Tighnari, it's something you can absolutely get him flustered over if you tell him about it when he's awake. His sleeping habits are a total contrast to his waking self's demeanor. He sprawls out, limbs going everywhere, often flopping down awkwardly over your face or shoulders. Mouth open, snores horribly, like the classic "Dad snore," loud and obnoxious. Drools all over the pillow (and unfortunately you if you let him get his face too close to your neck). He doesn't sleepwalk, but he does occasionally, for whatever reason, sit straight up in bed in his sleep, only to soon fall back down. It's nearly impossible to sleep through a full night when he's next to you.

His roommate has had to put up with this over the years, and has frequently made fun of him for it, but he still gets very embarrassed about it anyway. However, it's much worse for you, seeing as you're not only in the same room, but the same bed too. So for you, it's often less playful teasing, and more genuine irritation, seeing as it detracts from your own sleep.

Also steals covers. Absolute thief. Nor does he relent; if you try to pull the covers back to you, he somehow manages to keep an iron grip on them. Usually he ends up turning around so much they get wrapped around his body and you can't pull them off even if he isn't holding onto them. After your complain about this, though, he buys some extra blankets just for you... just hope he doesn't manage to steal those too and completely cocoon himself in all of them (yes, it has happened a few times). You find that you begin subconsciously developing a habit of clinging to the blankets in your sleep so that he can't take them from you. ----------

Cyno tosses and turns quite a bit. He can't seem to stay still. It's not so much that he has bad dreams or anything, he's just one of those people that needs to have specific conditions to sleep, and is easily stirred by the slightest of discomforts. If the temperature isn't quite right, too cold or too hot, he wakes up. If there's the slightest of sounds, he wakes up. If the room is too bright, or too dark (he needs just a little bit of moonlight), he wakes up. If he's thirsty, awkwardly positioned, etc, basically anything causes him to stir and he has to fix it or he can't fall back asleep.

The unfortunate thing is that this also means you will wake up. He moves around enough that it's bound to pull you out of sleep, especially if he has to get up out of bed. And his measures of achieving required comfort levels to sleep also often involve latching onto you in ways that are very uncomfortable and awkward for you. He doesn't have a crushing grip like some, but it's suffocating in a different way -- rather than spooning you, he manages to get to where you're facing each other, and pulls you into him so that your face is buried in his chest, and you can't breathe. Thankfully, though, he's pretty easy to pull away from, his sleeping grip isn't too strong, but it still wakes you up, and he'll go back to it when you fall asleep again.

Only about half the time, though. He alternates. Whenever he's not doing that, he's doing the opposite, pulling himself close to you so he can press his face into your chest. It's very comforting. There's no real consistency to which one he'll do, usually alternates within the same night, even.

Although perhaps the most amusing aspect of it is the next morning. Not only is he a bit of a grouch when he's still groggy and just waking up, but all that tossing and turning means that when he gets up, his hair is tangled and sticking out all over. These two things combined mean that he's very easily put into a bad mood when you start making fun of it when you wake up and see him. Stop laughing. Ugh. He gets no respect.

#atml #genshin impact x reader

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barnesbabee · 3 years

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what about ateez reaction to reader want to have threesome 😳😳😳

ꜱᴇᴏɴɢʜᴡᴀ

-> No chance. -> He looks like someone who's very sensual, erotic, and dirty, but he would be hesitant with letting someone else fuck his person. -> Would consider it, he didn't like to outright deny you something you wanted without thinking about it first -> It's not that he thought you'd like the other person better, but you were his, and he didn't want your intimate, special time to be shared with someone else. -> 'I promise I'll wreck you in every way you want to make up for it doll, call in sick tomorrow, you won't be able to walk.'

ʜᴏɴɢᴊᴏᴏɴɢ

-> Hongjoong is confident, so he wouldn't mind it -> He sees the request as a challenge, something he can use to push your limits, to toy with you. -> He doesn't mind whether the 3rd party is a guy or a girl -> Would lowkey be researching new things to do and new toys to try -> 'Is one cock not enough for you? You need more? So, so dirty...'

ʏᴜɴʜᴏ

-> Confident man line 2/3 -> He wouldn't mind it, he would think it's fun -> Yunho seems like someone who is very keen on exploring his sexuality, so he'd probably like to try it with both men and women -> He wouldn't want to do it constantly though -> Yunho likes soft, romantic sex sometimes, and he just likes to spend time with you -> So although he would be open to it, don't expect it to happen too often because he enjoys alone, intimate moments with you -> 'My baby is so needy... It's cute.'

ʏᴇᴏꜱᴀɴɢ

-> A little reluctant, but would try it for the fun on it -> Would be a switch, both dom and sub in the threesome -> Type of threesome to have someone command him about what to do to you -> Would lowkey enjoy it -> 'We... We might just have to try that again.'

ᴍɪɴɢɪ

-> Would say no, straight up -> He doesn't want to try it, he would be a little too insecure deep down, no matter how much you assured him -> Mingi thinks it might be fun, but he wouldn't want to take the risk -> Although he would go online and buy a bunch of new paraphernalia to try on you -> 'The mail came baby, we're gonna have a good time tonight.'

ꜱᴀɴ

-> Confident man line 3/3 -> Would LOVE the idea -> Would also drop hints of wanting to try a threesome previously to your suggestion -> He wouldn't mind whether the other person was a girl or boy, he had plans for both, and there was so much he wanted to try, one time wouldn't be enough -> Would try to bring Wooyoung in -> Very loud, kinky shit, neighbours would definitely complain -> He would make you answer the door still gagged and tied up -> Would buy new stuff on purpose to try it out -> 'I want to turn you into my favourite oreo, double stuffed.'

ᴡᴏᴏʏᴏᴜɴɢ

-> Would be up for the idea -> Alhtough he would get a little jealous -> The threesome would be a little bit of a competition, Wooyoung constantly trying to make you feel better than the other person -> Which you didn't mind 'cause you always came out winning -> Prepare for an intense cuddle session and Wooyoung-pampering afterwards -> 'My dick is your favourite, right?'

ᴊᴏɴɢʜᴏ

-> Let's be honest, you can't get straighter than Jongho, so he would only do it if the other person was a girl -> But he would still give you a hard time -> He didn't want to share his baby with anyone, so if he did consent to the idea, it wouldn't be recurring -> 'Psh, I was definitely better than them.

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falconwhitaker · 2 years

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Good things about Chicago Med (as of Season 3): – There is a canonically autistic character who is a fully grown adult, a successful cardiac surgeon, Black, and openly Jewish (he wears a kippah and strictly observes the Sabbath to the point of not using light switches or elevator buttons). Dr Latham rocks.

– At one point, a non-autistic character says he envies Dr Latham his autism. It was in the context of being able to make difficult decisions in a crisis situation without letting emotions get in the way, but it still felt weirdly affirming to me. Just. The idea of a neurotypical being jealous of my neurotype rather than afraid of it.

– One of the main characters has a transgender sister who is played by a transgender woman.

Bad things about Chicago Med (as of Season 3): – The only canon autistic rep we have in the show is somebody very emotionally repressed who has been described as being like a robot, and he is undergoing magnetic therapy to make him more neurotypical. Which feels a bit... eh. Also the use of Asperger's, but this was from like half a decade ago when the term was in more use.

– Not a single main or secondary character appears to be queer. Aside from some patients who have been gay and the aforementioned transgender sister, this show is aggressively cis and heterosexual in a "Are the straights okay? No, they are not okay!" kinda way.

Changes I would make: – Have Dr Reese be autistic as well. She's very autistic-coded to me while also making emotional connections with other people in a way that Dr Latham doesn't, and that would broaden the representation a bit.

– Make Dr Rhodes gay or bi and give him a crush on Dr Halstead. I don't think Dr Halstead would reciprocate (he is Incredibly Straight) but having some gay pining would've made his constant pining and little-boy-pulling-a-girl's-pigtails behaviour over Dr Manning more bearable.

–Give Dr Rhodes a trans man as a love interest. I could be wrong, but I think there are fewer transmasculine representations in the popular media than transfeminine and it'd be nice to add something to the pile.

– Add a non-binary recurring character from another department in the hospital (an oncologist or a neurologist or something) who uses they/them pronouns without it being a huge deal.

#anyway those are my thoughts #I really like this show #didn't like Will Halstead to start with but he grew on me #loved Connor Rhodes and Sarah Reese from the beginning #they're my favourites #sadly I read ahead and know spoilers for both of them #my boy and my girl deserved better tbh #but there we go #and to give Chicago Med credit #they're doing better than a lot of other shows I can think of #but I am greedy for more autistics and more queers plz

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petrichormeraki · 3 years

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Hermit things that give me serotonin part 2!! I'm glad y'all enjoyed the first one :D

False

“HEL-loeverybody!”

Very chill videos, always talks like she’s doing a tutorial

Deceiving openings to her base that are actually glass so every hermit flies straight into it like a fuckin bird

*nervous giggle* “Um-”

She is the coolest person ever

QUEEN OF MCC LETS FUCKIN GOOOOO

Just the way she says certain names?? (Iskull, Cleyo, Eh-suma) Idk why it makes me smile so much but it does

When her voice gets all low and sneaky when she roleplays? GREAT content

Ren

His entire intro just. its so good. the “greetings cyberdogs!” the little hopping when he opens. it’s all SO GOOD

Sings in the middle of his sentences all the time

He gets so excited to promote his brother’s music it’s ADORABLE

His editing??? his camera work???? his music??? his multiple characters??? Every Rendog video is a JOY please go sub to him I’m begging you

Hyperfocuses on a fandom and fuckin RUNS with it (See: the entire fucking biome he converted to Mustofar from Star Wars)

Taking build inspiration from Legos

A builder AND a redstoner, Rendog can do it all babey!!

“We cookin’ with GAS tonight!”

He does a different voice for each character and they’re??? REALLY good??

He’s so good at visual gags, like in the timelapse where he spent a million hours trying to get a mooshroom only to accidentally kill it when he was trying to break the boat and it just. pans to his face as he is SILENT it makes me lose my shit

Doc

*BIG wheeze of laughter* “what the hell??”

Goes SO over the top in his intros when he’s roleplaying, that shit is straight cinematic

Very intimidating voice but something makes him laugh and suddenly he’s a big teddy bear

“Lil Doccy”

Clearly only barely keeping a lid on the cursing to the point where it’s not even surprising when he slips up but it IS hilarious

Recurring bit of him and Bdubs acting like bitter ex-lovers

His accent is the best thing ever, forgive me for being an american white slice of bread but I could listen to it for hours

Constantly saying how proud he is of Tango and calling him his son makes my heart go ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

This man roleplays like there’s no tomorrow and totally leans into how scary he seems it’s so good

Wels

Lovely intro theme! It’s instantly immersive to the whole medieval thing it’s so good

THAT RAP BATTLE???? GO WHITE BOY GO THAT SHIT WAS A BANGER

His builds feel so genuine, it’s kind of hard to describe but like.,,,they feel real? like they were always there instead of built and designed if that makes sense. he has a great color pallete too

KITTEN SNEEZES

I’ve said this so many times but his voice is REALLY nice to listen to, it’s so relaxing

Also a natural bred roleplayer pop off dude

The way he talks about his wife, you can practically hear the heart eyes it’s so cute

Renaming his weapons to “Knight’s [tool]” (also the bit with the Knight’s Hoe made me spit out my juice)

I just??? love everything about him??? welsknight is so good

TFC

MINECRAFT GRANDPA MAKE BRAINCELL GO BRRR

#just hermit things #hermitcraft #tfc #wels #doc #ren #false #big queue #meraki post #part 2

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dontcallmecarrie · 3 years

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tfw the plot bunny strikes and refuses to let go, here, continuation of this:

Loki was torn between chagrin and vague amusement, as he observed everyone else’s reactions to the two Justin Hammers in between herding everyone to one of the safehouses Victor von Doom had somehow managed to get ahold of in this strange world.

At first glance, Victor seemed to be the most unperturbed— but Loki knew him well enough to note the way his eyes had widened when he’d seen the two side by side, couldn’t help but catch the tiniest shift in the way he held himself and Loki would bet anything that if he were any sort of telepath, he’d be hearing nothing but an infernal screeching coming from his corner of the room.

Ivan Vanko wasn’t much better, but at least he’d elected to hyperfixate on cleaning up the loose ends they’d left in relation to their original mission: from his mutters, some of the security cameras’ footage had been trickier to access than not, and required even more effort to scrub. Loki gave it another five minutes before he was forced to look away from his computer and acknowledge the reality of the situation.

Meanwhile, the Winter Soldiers were an interesting study in contrasts; while Winter was extremely apologetic about the situation and had already apologized no less than five times, Soldat seemed to be content to look on in bemusement as the situation unraveled from there.

...which wasn’t very different from what Loki’s own counterpart was doing, actually, but at least Soldat wasn’t enjoying the chaos. Visibly, anyway, and Loki was getting a new appreciation for just how irritating that particular smirk looked on his own face. If they all weren’t so focused on calming the jumpier, more visibly frazzled-version of their leader, someone would’ve punched it off his face by now. As it was, though...

“Who the hell are you people?!” Justin Hammer whisper-shrieked, in between sharp gasps for air and eyes wide as he cowered away from his kidnappers. “And wh— wh—”

“He’s more high-strung than you are.” Someone muttered to the terrifying figure who had his face—

“Of course he is, he has no idea what’s going on and you guys kidnapped him,” his mirror image replied with a flat look, before turning to face him looking vaguely embarrassed. “Look, Hammer— can I call you Hammer? Wait, no, you can be Justin, I’ll go by Hammer and man this is weird— I can explain. Just. Sit down and take a breather, because it’s, uh, a bit of a long story.”

Justin would’ve thought an explanation would leave him with more answers than questions.

He was sorely mistaken.

The headache he had now wasn’t much of an improvement from before.

“So, let me get this straight: you,” Justin jabbed a finger at the dude with the dark grey mask which was just about the only thing differentiating him from his twin, “grabbed me because you mistook me for him—”

“Sorry about that, by the w—”

“—and you’re all from some other dimension and pissed off goodness knows how many organizations trying to figure out how to get home,” Justin steamrollered on, closing his eyes in an effort to take things one step at a time because he was trying not to feel overwhelmed but these guys weren’t making it easy, “is that right?”

“Well...”

“I mean...”

“Yeah.” Ivan— not the bastard responsible for his being in Seagate, another version of him who apparently didn’t actively try and screw people over— replied, and Justin opened his eyes just in time to catch the tail end of his shrug. “That about sums it up.”

“Okay.” Justin nodded to himself. “Why?”

“Why what? You’re going to need to be more specific, here, I’m not a mind reader.”

“How’d you even get here? Or do you weirdos just go dimension-hopping for fun on a Friday night?”

“You’re not the only one wondering that.” The alien god said airily, toying with a— that was a knife, okay, Justin already knew he was in way over his head, he didn’t need the reminder, thanks. Where did it even come from, anyway? “I would really like to know that as well, Ivan.”

“Oh, nah, this was a freak accident.” Ivan snorted, then gave them all a smirk that gave Justin goosebumps for a second. “As for why...look at it this way: this was weird and stressful for us, and from the start you guys knew what was going on and have me to figure out how to get us back. Now imagine if it’d been the Avengers.”

The silent, broody one— Victor, was it?— made a noise of realization. “That is diabolical. I love it.”

“I know, I was trying to figure out how to temper it when this happened. The ray gun was supposed to be temporary, I’m not sure what happened but the end goal’s a duration of twenty-four hours. Sorry you guys got caught up in the beta, by the way.”

“We are going to be having words about proper lab safety protocols when we get home, Ivan.” Victor said darkly, and something in his voice that had six out of the seven other people in the room freezing for a second.

Justin couldn’t help but notice his...twin was not part of that number.

But first, because this was something he’d been wondering ever since he’d heard of how this ‘Cabal’ operated—

“Why are you going to this effort?”Justin asked.

“Oh, boy, here we go again,” the guy calling himself ‘Winter’ muttered, but before he do more than start to turn to him in confusion, Ivan spoke.

“Because death is too simple.” He said, not looking away from the computer he’d pulled out. “Because any rando with a gun could do that, if they wanted. No, if I’ve got a beef with someone, I want them to suffer. I want them to regret ever having pissed me off, to curse my name every time they step on a Lego and realize who put it there, to—”

“Yes, I know, we get it.” One of the alien gods cut in. The one who didn’t look like shit, and had a long-suffering look on his face partway into Ivan’s spiel. “If I had a penny for every time you go on that rant...”

“Says the guy who uses my ideas to become the official nemesis of the Avengers.” Ivan shot back, unamused, and the way Winter sighed and Victor pinched the bridge of his nose told him this was a recurring argument.

“Guys,” Justin’s...twin cut in, and Justin couldn’t help but feel something in the pit of his stomach clench as he noticed the way everyone from his dimension came to attention. “If we could focus on getting home?”

“I know, I know, I’m on it.” Ivan muttered, turning back to his computer. “Trying to throw SHIELD off our trail’s easier here, but it’s still not exactly a cakewalk.”

“Okay. What can we do in the meantime?”

The more Justin saw of this ‘Cabal’, of Hammer and the others, the more uncomfortable he felt.

Because the more time passed, the more it felt like...he was seeing a better version of himself.

How long had he tried to get people to respect him? How many classes on public speaking and marketing had he taken, how many books had he read in an effort to build his charisma, to be remembered as something other than the cheap knockoff of Tony Stark?

And now...

Justin watched as someone wearing his face walked around, and he was quiet, and fairly introverted, but something about him demanded respect, commanded all the attention in the room when he talked, and... Justin wanted that.

Of course, Justin’s...twin noticed.

For some reason, the look of sympathy he got felt even worse than the first time he’d donned prisoner’s uniform in Seagate.

Not to mention the conversation they had, when Justin was ushered into a quiet corner near the safehouse’s kitchen as they had tea.

It was. A talk.

Not a great one.

Not that there really could’ve been, considering, but.

“I am not you, you are not me, and that’s a good thing.”

Justin didn’t know what he was expecting, really.

Another version of himself, forcing him to acknowledge things he’d thought he’d gotten over— how was he supposed to handle it?

“You were set up for failure from the start, you know. No child should ever have to carry some of the burdens you grew up with.”

Just.

Someone who understood, and how was he supposed to deal?

“You cannot change the past, but you can control your own actions in the future. What do you want to do, who do you want to become? What makes you, you?”

Justin had thought he’d felt tired when he’d finally been brought into the mess these guys were part of, but now his exhaustion felt soul-deep and he didn’t know when he’d started crying but no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t stop—

Mercifully, the others left him alone for the rest of the day.

He... needed to think.

Justin wasn’t the only one having a hard time, he knew: he’d noticed the way Soldat followed Winter around, trying to mimic his self-confidence, and the Loki of this world looked at the easy camaraderie his counterpart had with a hunger that would’ve made Justin very nervous if that expression were aimed at him.

Something dark and feral, all jagged edges and brittle smiles and it shouldn’t have resonated nearly as much as it did but—

It made for a good conversation starter, if nothing else. Something relatable to bond over tea, because Victor was a monster who had an irrational disdain for coffee and Justin needed his caffeine fix if he wanted to keep what was left of his sanity.

Justin didn’t know what he brought to the table. Not compared to whatever his twin did, anyway, and he didn’t want to go that route either because he wanted to be himself.

Even if he wasn’t certain what that looked like, anyway, not after decades of chasing after Tony Stark’s shadow, but...

He’d find out. Somehow.

“Hey! Guys, I figured it out!” Ivan’s excited cheer woke everyone up early one morning. “Just gotta get my hands on some materials, but we can go home soon!”

#No Hero [Downward Descending]#schrodinger's canon #My writing

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ahgaseda · 4 years

Text

aura | three

driving me crazy, look in my eyes, follow me, come here, dance with me now, I’m gonna make you feel like that...

summary : back again at a camp for kids that can’t behave, you are still brokenhearted over your ill-fated romance with Jaebeom, until your friend Jackson offers to help make your ex jealous in exchange for helping him land the most unattainable girl at camp.

warnings : strong profanity, explicit dialogue, recurring alcohol or recreational drug use, graphic sexual content, brief mentions of illegal activities, potentially triggering elements involving toxic relationships and emotional manipulation, etc.

miniseries chapters : one / two / three / four / five / six / seven

Every step down the path was slowed by dread and anxiety. The auditorium sat on a small hill, looming over the rest of the camp, and the sight made your stomach turn each time you laid eyes on it.

Such an unassuming building and yet it still shot nerves through you.

Entering through the double doors, you were blasted by air conditioning, which was a bit excessive with the crisp morning air. You simpered when you made eye contact with a few of the other campers. It was a small group, as to be expected for these little sessions.

Then, your gaze shifted to the wall where Jaebeom was leaning back and had just looked up at the sound of the door opening.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” you groaned, wanting to march right back out. Fate was such a cruel bitch.

Jaebeom cocked his head at your reaction, following you with his eyes, and asked sweetly, “Sleep well?”

“Yes,” you replied, curt, avoiding his stare.

Jaebeom shifted closer and whispered, “Did you think of me last night?”

If only you knew how you had filled his thoughts and dreams. Those kisses in the pool still made his heart race.

Smirking with a chance to torment him, you retorted, “Not even once. My mind is full of Jackson and how good his head looked between my thighs.”

Jaebeom frowned, the blood draining from his face. Hearing about your escapades with Jackson made him insane, like being dragged through pieces of broken glass.

“That bastard,” Jaebeom huffed under his breath.

Your arrogance faded and you turned somber. Part of you realized that you were giving yourself away to spite him. It was like trying to heal a burn by directly applying more fire.

Doctor Ambrose stepped inside, greeting everyone with her signature smile. “Good morning. Are we ready to begin?”

No one was. Not one of these poor souls wanted to discuss their daddy or mommy issues in group form. But it was mandated by the camp and having been attending for many years, you were accustomed to dodging.

You and the others followed Doctor Ambrose into the main auditorium, approaching a ring of folding chairs waiting on the stage. You swallowed the lump in your throat and avoided a look at Jaebeom as you took a seat.

This was the room where it happened - where you surrendered your virtuous flower. Blah, blah, blah, you thought to yourself. Eventually, you were going to have to come to terms with the fact you were less bitter about losing your virginity and more broken at having lost your heart.

The theater was the one place no one bothered to lock after curfew since it was solely used for group sessions and the occasional motivational speech, but if someone did remember to lock up, the door code was common knowledge. Guys went there to blaze up. Girls went to sneak drinks.

Jaebeom had brought you inside. The relationship had grown and was leading to a physical consummation of your feelings for each other. You knew exactly what would happen. After all, you had snuck out of your cabin in the middle of the night to meet a boy beneath the stars.

You let him lay you down on the stage, behind the heavy velvet curtain. Jaebeom at least had the wherewithal to put his jacket down for you to rest on.

You stole a glance of the shadow behind the curtain, not too far from where you sat, and your expression soured. You could still remember the rampant beating of your heart when Jaebeom kissed you with all he had and laid you down beneath him.

The memory raced across your mind in steady bursts. Your eyes burned at how gentle he had been with you, how loving. Jaebeom convinced you that he was madly in love and that there was a future between you and him.

And you were such a fool to believe it. You were over the moon thinking you had finally found love in the most unlikely of places. With someone you trusted. Someone you considered a friend.

Taking a deep breath, you were officially angry.

The time spent with Jackson had taken off the rose-colored glasses. You were able to see your affair with Jaebeom for what it was. And though you were still hopelessly in love with him, you were mad as hell for what he had done to you.

Doctor Ambrose called your name and began, “Let’s start with you. Why don’t you tell us the behavior that warranted your presence back at camp this year?”

You crossed your legs and sang, “Oh, where to begin, Doc? I lied. I cheated. I stole. Short of murder, my rap sheet is long.”

“You’ve been coming here for many years and you know that’s not what these sessions are about,” she chided, giving you a stern look. “Skip the bravado and get straight to the real talk.”

You narrowed your eyes. Ambrose always did hit the nail on the head. That’s why she was one of the few people at this godforsaken place that held everyone’s respect. Which was impressive in its own right since you and your fellow rich, troubled kids had very little respect for anyone.

But if Doctor Ambrose thought you were going to bear your soul to a room full of people that didn’t give a damn about you - Jaebeom included - she was sorely mistaken.

You sighed and continued, “I’m sure it’s common knowledge by now that I had a terrible lapse in judgement last summer and that lapse in judgement had a lot of unforeseen consequences.”

Jaebeom was unmoving in his seat, but his eyes were heavy on you.

Ambrose gave you her undivided attention and spoke softly, “Go on.”

You shrugged, hoping to hide just how miserably the words were coming from your mouth. “I lashed out. I cycled through all of my emotions and when they were too painful, I did something bad. Something that distracted me from how angry or hurt I was. Classic reckless human behavior.”

Her response was blunt, but genuine, “It’s called self-destructive behavior and you were punishing yourself for the pain someone else inflicted on you.”

You studied her, wanting to smack this woman across the face for defining you in a single sentence. “Forget psychiatrist,” you scoffed. “You’re a psychic.”

“I know you,” Ambrose said tenderly. “And you are not defined by your mistakes.”

You rolled your eyes, though you would love to believe that. “We all are, Doctor Ambrose,” you told her morosely. Then, your tone shifted, “Now, please take the spotlight off of me before I do something bad. Like I said, it’s what I’m known for.”

Ambrose exhaled loudly, conflicted, but decided not to push you. Turning to the next participant, she called, “Jaebeom, your turn.”

Jaebeom was still looking at you.

“Why don’t you tell us the activities that landed you back for yet another summer here?”

Jaebeom grumbled, “I’m a dick. The end.”

A few of the other attendees chortled.

“Jaebeom, everyone here knows you’re more complex than that,” Ambrose shot back.

“Am I?”

She cocked her head. “You don’t think so.”

“Ask her,” Jaebeom said, waving his hand in your direction. “Everyone knows what I did.”

You didn’t dare look at him, offering no absolution. You kept your gaze firmly rooted to Doctor Ambrose, who was now glancing between the two of you suspiciously.

Tapping her pen, Ambrose ordered, “After this group session I want to see both of you in my office.”

Your heart sank and you pleaded, “But, Doctor Ambrose…”

“Moving on,” she cut you off.

You folded your arms tightly across your chest in defiance, stiff in your seat. Jaebeom stretched out his legs and braced his arms on his thighs, keeping his head low.

Tuning out the conversations going around the circle of other campers discussing their toxic and sometimes illegal activities, you could only think about how angry you were. How it was billowing and growing inside of you until it threatened to burst.

Though Jaebeom was in the seat beside yours, he felt an entire world away. What had you done to him to deserve this? And for fuck’s sake, why couldn’t you stop loving him? If you fell in love with someone, couldn’t you ultimately fall back out?

Stealing a glance in the corner of your eye, Jaebeom looked up at that same moment and your eyes met. You looked away immediately, bitter and vengeful, but Jaebeom persisted. For someone who prided himself on being set in his ways, he couldn’t stand how you spun him on his edge.

You made him want to risk it all.

When the group session ended, Ambrose twirled the pen between her fingers and said, “I suppose we can forgo my office and just speak here.”

“We have nothing to talk about,” Jaebeom spoke up, venomous.

“I think there’s plenty,” she asserted, studying you intently. “Wanna tell me about it?”

Your eyes glistened when they met hers. You wanted to tell her she was right. That you had punished yourself for a year because you fell for a boy - the wrong boy. It was stupid. It was juvenile. And you resented yourself to hell and back for it.

“You wouldn’t understand,” you finally murmured, voice shaky.

She smiled, comforting. “Try me.”

Jaebeom could see you were about to crack. He could hear the weakness seeping into your words. Running a hand through his hair, he blurted out, “It’s my fault.”

Ambrose questioned levelly, “How so?”

“Be quiet,” you hissed.

“I fucked up,” Jaebeom confessed.

“Language,” she corrected loosely.

Jaebeom frowned. “I seduced her. I convinced her I was in love.”

“And were you?”

“No, I…,” Jaebeom trailed, like he couldn’t bring himself to say it. “I don’t know.”

You glared with nothing short of loathing at the floor.

Ambrose was putting the pieces together and she didn’t hesitate to scold, “What was your purpose, Jaebeom? What were you trying to achieve?”

Jaebeom paused a moment. Then, he finally admitted, “I was trying to get her into bed.”

Ambrose clocked a glance at you and said, “I’m assuming you succeeded.”

Your breaths came faster. Your heart was revving like the engine of Jackson’s blood red Corvette. Any minute you were going to explode.

“I went too far,” Jaebeom mulled, scratching his head. “I had never gone that far before, but I was addicted. I had no idea it would… I didn’t know she would…”

“You’re full of shit,” you snapped.

Doctor Ambrose called your name, giving you the same warning about profanity.

You leveled your scowl at Jaebeom, who had already bowed his head in submission or shame, and sneered, “I will never believe a word you say. You knew exactly what you were doing. You wanted someone to hurt as much as you hurt.”

Jaebeom still couldn’t meet your eyes. Pathetic, he thought to himself, but he couldn’t face your wrath. He couldn’t see the pain manifested on your beautiful face.

“Congratulations,” you continued, rising to your feet. “I know how you feel and I almost derailed my life because of you!”

Ambrose held out a hand amicably. “Please, sit.”

“No, I’m out of here,” you barked, gritting your teeth to keep the tears at bay. “And if you plan on physically making me stay in the same room with this asshole a minute longer, my stepfather’s attorneys would love to blow this shit wide open.”

Doctor Ambrose gave you a nod and sat back down.

Your steps echoed through the frigid silence of the auditorium and you nearly knocked the doors off their hinges when you pushed them open to escape outside.

When you had gone, Jaebeom exhaled heavily.

Ambrose looked at him. She could see the guilt weighing down his shoulders and though she didn’t want to take pity on him after what you had just revealed, compassion was a cornerstone of who she was as a person.

“Jaebeom, it goes without saying, but I’m going to say it,” Ambrose whispered for his ears only. “Breaking other people doesn’t fix you.”

Jaebeom stood to full height without another word and skulked away, hiding his teary eyes behind his long black hair.

“The nerve of that bitch! I know that she knows what happened last summer,” you vented, pacing back and forth in front of Jackson as he sat on the edge of the bed. “Everyone on the east coast knows by now. I had to hear about it for the first month of school on a daily basis!”

“I know,” Jackson replied patiently.

You tried to mimic the voices of the nosy, gossiping girls back home, “‘Can you believe she spread her legs for him? Did she really think he loved her? I thought she was smart. Turns out she’s a dumb whore like the rest of us!’”

Jackson grimaced. He remembered that morning, when you told him you slept with Jaebeom. You were so happy, so sure of what you wanted. And he knew it was going to unravel, leaving you holding all the pieces. “No one said that.”

“Everyone said that, Jacks! Admit it,” you yelled.

Of course, they did. Jackson had never threatened so many people in his life. Jackson had a lot of friends, but he only had one best friend. Whenever they spoke of you and Jaebeom, it made his skin crawl. Made his fists clench on instinct.

He was supposed to protect you.

Jackson rose from the bed, grasping your arms and staring you in the face. “Who cares what other people say? I sure as shit don’t!”

You cast your gaze down, shifting from angry to sad. “And he really sat there acting like he didn’t think I would take it so personally,” you whispered, trembling.

Jackson gathered you in his arms, squeezing tight. “He’s an idiot. It is known,” he quipped dryly.

You pulled back and sighed, “Maybe we should just fuck.”

Jackson frowned, but quickly hid his disappointment with a swift, “I’m not in the mood.”

You quirked a brow. “Seriously?”

Jackson released you and teased, “Yeah, I’m not a faucet.”

You let a smirk play at your lips and reached for his belt. “What if I…”

Jackson grabbed your wrists and chided you so sternly you almost faltered, “Listen. You are more than sex. You understand me?”

There were very few occasions Jackson reprimanded you and he always snared your full attention when it happened. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you murmured, “...Okay.”

Jackson simpered. “You don’t need to fuck. You need a hug.”

You chuckled, squeaking in surprise when he pulled you to his chest faster than you thought possible. You smiled, burying your face against his neck as he enveloped you in his embrace.

It was exactly what you needed.

You set your hands to his shoulders, feeling burly muscles underneath. Jackson always radiated heat and energy, and you were content to let him hold you forever. Jackson was warmth and safety.

He was home.

After a moment, you blurted to alleviate the tension, “Can we go get food?”

Jackson exclaimed, “I thought you’d never ask.”

The two of you walked arm in arm to the mess hall. It had been ungodly, the hour you woke to attend your group therapy session, but it meant you were starving for breakfast and the smell that hit your nose when you entered the dining room made you salivate on the spot.

Approaching the line, Jackson said, “Damn it. I forgot to tell you I’m sitting with Yeona today.”

“Oh,” you replied, remembering you didn’t get a chance to talk to him much after you had pounced on him. “I take it everything went well last night.”

“Yeah, we hit it off. I’m laying the groundwork.”

You rolled your eyes. Part of you was rooting in Yeona’s corner, that she stick to her guns and save herself for someone who loved her. The other part felt guilty as hell for being part of the same scheme that destroyed you last summer.

Pushing those thoughts aside, you told him, “I think I want some alone time to myself anyway. I’ll sit in the corner.”

Jackson eyed you worriedly. “Are you sure? I can totally blow her off.”

“Positive,” you insisted, beaming at the gesture. “Go with Yeona. You two would make a really cute couple.”

“Ha. Ha,” said Jackson in mock laughter.

Together you got your food and then parted in the aisleway. Yeona smiled when Jackson joined her by the window and you vaguely wished happiness for them. Jackson wasn’t like Jaebeom.

Maybe Yeona would be good for Jackson. She could help him work through his commitment issues. You had seen firsthand what his parents’ marriage had done to him. It was no surprise he broke off relationships as soon as they started to become serious.

Taking the empty table in the corner, you backed against the wall. Pulling a magazine out of your purse, you placed it next to your tray and opened to a random page, biting into your toasted bagel.

Jaebeom leaned against the adjacent door frame, hands in his pockets. He was sporting his trademarked leather jacket and his hair had strayed into his eyes while watching you.

He was at war with himself over what to say.

First and foremost he wanted to apologize, but Lim Jaebeom had way too much pride for that. Secondly, he considered offering you a better deal than whatever Jackson was giving you, but given your furor at the group session, Jaebeom knew better than to stoke your wrath again.

Jaebeom thought of all those times last summer when he caught himself staring at you. How could someone so beautiful and amazing be interested in the likes of him? You were confident and fearless, a little rough around the edges with a heart of gold. You were everything he aspired to be and you brought out the best in him without even knowing it.

By then, Jaebeom was in too deep. He could feel himself falling for you and he forbade himself from ever putting his heart on the line. And so he cut you loose.

Jaebeom remembered your face when he spoke those words. I never loved you. The joy left your face. The light fled your eyes. With four words, he had broken someone completely and it kept him awake at night.

Sex was a release for him. No more, no less. Jaebeom could fuck a girl and never see her again afterward, and it wouldn’t bother him for a second. After her - the woman that loved and left him - Jaebeom didn’t attach sex with emotion and certainly not intimacy or commitment.

Then, he had you. Suddenly, he wanted to wake up to you in the morning. He wanted to fall asleep in your arms every night. He didn’t fuck you… he made love to you. He felt passion for the first time in a long time. When it was over, he didn’t want to leave like he had always done. And that scared the shit out of him.

Jaebeom realized you had begun to heal him and he panicked.

Even now, Jaebeom wanted you back. He needed another chance. His first instinct was always to run when he felt emotions he didn’t understand, but he could fight back this time. He could change for you, couldn’t he?

When Jaebeom slid into the seat beside you, you weren’t the least bit surprised.

“What are you reading?” he asked nonchalantly, picking up the magazine and fanning the pages.

“Chick magazine,” you deadpanned. “There’s an article in there on Ten Ways to Achieve Female Orgasm. You should read it.”

Another snide jab at his bedroom skills. Jaebeom wrinkled his nose, but rebuffed you, “I only got one round with you. How do you know I couldn’t give you the best loving of your life?”

It was a provocative thought. You felt your heart stutter a little, but your mind was fully in control now, and you shot back, “Because I don’t think you know what love is.”

Jaebeom met your eyes and this time, you didn’t back down. “You know what I meant,” he huffed.

“So, I’m a mind reader now? Good to know,” you retorted, acerbic.

Jaebeom turned to you, leaning in and whispering, “Tonight. After curfew. Sneak out with me.”

You shook your head, mouth full of food. Swallowing, you told him coolly, “I have a regularly scheduled dick appointment with Jackson.”

“Cancel it,” Jaebeom said, appearing unaffected though it made him want to destroy Jackson a thousand times over. “I’ll have some wine. We can go to the lookout. You know, like old times.”

You scowled at him and yet, you wanted nothing more than to go back to those old times. Before you were stupid. Before you fell in love with him.

“Give me one good reason,” you hissed, taking a sip of your orange juice.

Jaebeom shifted, like the words pained him. More from pride than anything else. “I just want to talk to you. I miss you. As a friend.”

You didn’t say anything, but you shuffled your attention between him and Jackson. The latter was making Yeona laugh heartily and you felt a twinge of jealousy. Not from a place of malice, but a protectiveness over your best friend.

Jackson would tell you not to. He would tell Jaebeom to take a fucking hike.

Angling back to Jaebeom, you warned, “If you so much as grab my boob, I will kick you in the balls and leave you there.”

Jaebeom smiled, but quickly fought it. “That’s fair.”

“What time?”

“Eleven.”

You nodded. “Okay, I’ll meet you at the spot.”

Jaebeom rose and you were sad to see him go, but he added, “Nah, I will come to your cabin and get you. I don’t want you walking at night alone.”

You rolled your eyes. “Chivalry isn’t dead after all.”

Jackson stitched his brows, having listened to you recount the exchange to him back at his cabin.

“Of course, chivalry is dead,” your best friend exclaimed incredulously. “He killed it.”

“Jacks, please,” you whined. “He just wants to talk.”

“No, he doesn’t,” Jackson countered firmly and he looked a heartbeat away from combusting. “He hates that you’re sleeping with me. It’s jealousy. Plain and simple.”

You propped your hands on your hips, frustrated from arguing with him. “Wasn’t that the plan? To make him come after me again?”

Jackson remembered what had started all of this in the first place and he changed his tune. “Right, yeah, but this is just going the same route as last summer. You see that, right?”

“No, it’s not. I’m wiser now.”

Jackson approached briskly, taking you in his arms and roaming his hands around your waist. “You could just stay here with me,” he coaxed, voice a low growl. “I can eat that pussy like it’s my last meal.”

You snorted a laugh, but slipped out of his arms. “Nice try, but you were right. I’m more than just sex and I need to see where his head is at.”

Jackson sighed in defeat.

“Don’t wait up for me tonight,” you called back to him as you slipped through the door.

Jackson watched you go and stood rooted in place. Fuck, he was conflicted. Every instinct he had told him to stop you, but how could he? What right did he have to you in the first place?

He was just the guy you fucked to get back at another guy.

Jackson exhaled loudly through his nose. He could feel himself slipping, losing his nerve. Even when he sat with Yeona, making her smile and laugh, and noticing she leaned into his touches, his eyes still wandered to you. And when Jaebeom had appeared by your side, Jackson could feel his heart sinking into the bottom of his stomach.

Jackson reminded himself of the deal. He would get Yeona and you would get Jaebeom. That was it. Those were the terms you both agreed on and thus far, everything was going quite smoothly.

But Jackson was thinking of you and now he was thinking of Jaebeom touching you. And it made him want to die.

The day passed by at a glacial pace. By the time night fell, you began the long, arduous process of doing your hair and makeup. When there was a knock at the door, you had to stop yourself from sprinting across the room to answer.

Instead, you made his ass wait.

“Hey,” you greeted, stepping through and shutting the door behind you a moment later.

“Hey,” Jaebeom replied, scanning you over. “You look beautiful.”

“Thank you,” you said sweetly, noting the backpack slung over his shoulder. “What you got back there?”

“None of your business,” he teased. “Ready to go?”

You pursed your lips, watching Jaebeom turn and stride away, expecting you to follow. Which, of course, you did.

The lookout was a small patch of open field between the trees. It was the perfect spot for stargazing and late night makeout sessions. You and Jaebeom had spent many hours in this place. As did you and Jackson.

It was a place of clarity and self-reflection. Something about seeing the stars so clearly, away from the noise and smog of the city, made you feel a sense of belonging. That everything would be okay. Sooner or later.

Jaebeom dropped his backpack and began rifling through it. Reading your mind, he called, “Don’t sit yet.”

You were about to complain, but then he stood and fanned out a red flannel blanket, smoothing out the corners over the grass.

“Now, you can sit.”

You almost chuckled, but you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. Plopping down, you overlapped your ankles and watched him take the spot beside you.

“Wow, this is actually romantic,” you smarted, monotonous.

Jaebeom popped open the bottle of wine and took a swig. “I’m full of surprises,” he quipped, handing you the bottle.

A bit perturbed he had neglected to bring separate glasses, you took a sip and countered bitterly, “Not really. I remember all the romantic gestures and sweet words of last summer.”

Jaebeom sighed. So did he.

He had taken something so precious and innocent and filled it with poison. Jaebeom could have walked away at any point. And even worse, when all was said and done, he could have stayed.

There was a lull of silence and you didn’t mind. Jaebeom studied the stars, feigning interest. You turned your head, looking at his profile alight with the glow of the moon.

“Jaebeom, why did you bring me here?”

Jaebeom swallowed and whispered, “I hate myself for what I did to you.”

You frowned. “And what about all the other girls?”

Jaebeom shook his head, remorseful only for you. “They weren’t naive. They weren’t inexperienced,” he explained, somber. “They weren’t my friends. They weren’t you.”

You narrowed your eyes. The anger was pooling in your belly again. And your next question was scathing, “So, what sets me apart is that you hurt me the most?”

“Yes,” Jaebeom said, feeling small. “And you didn’t deserve it.”

You cried, “Why me?”

“You were the holy grail. Every guy wanted you.”

Biting back tears, you whimpered, “You talk about me like I’m not a person.”

Jaebeom realized that and he looked away, mulling over if he could put his feelings into words for once. “Would you believe me if I said that looking back I meant the things I said to you - that I loved every moment we spent together last summer?”

You thought about it for a moment and then you answered, “No. It’s what I’ve wanted you to say and yet. . . I don’t believe you. Everything you said and did was the means to an end.”

Jaebeom didn’t deny it. “I thought so, too. But when I got home, you were all I could think about. I wanted to see you and hold you. I missed having you in my life.”

The tears were flowing freely now and you turned your head away.

Jaebeom came closer, cupping your cheek and wiping the tears with his thumb.

You sobbed, “Why did you do this?”

“Shh, baby,” he whispered under his breath.

“You hate yourself for hurting me. I hate myself for loving you.”

Jaebeom felt like a gaping open wound, one that refused to heal. And yet your pain surpassed his own. He would rather writhe in misery than see you crying in his arms. Knowing that he had driven you this far.

“You were right,” he choked out. “I wanted you to know hurt the way I did. I envied you. You never let anyone get to you. I thought in some twisted way I wouldn’t be alone and I could finally move past what happened to me.”

You could feel yourself falling for it again and you lowered your head.

“I’m sorry,” Jaebeom finally said.

Those words you had wanted for so long and they did nothing for you. They didn’t fix you. They didn’t numb the pain. They didn’t restore what had been taken.

You pushed his arms away and got to your feet, wiping the tears with the back of your hand. Stomping toward the gravel path, Jaebeom was hot on your heels, calling your name.

When he grabbed your arms and spun you back around to face him, you yelled, “Let me go, Jaebeom.”

“Tell me what to do,” he pleaded. “Tell me what you need me to do!”

“Break this fucking spell,” you shouted back at him. “Make me hate you. Because I love you and it’s killing me!”

That was the last thing Jaebeom wanted. He was consumed by you. There were those words again and Jaebeom couldn’t stand it. No one had ever loved him, much less fallen in love with him, and he didn’t know what to do.

So, he gathered you in his arms and melded his lips to yours. You didn’t hesitate to kiss him back hard, carding your fingers into his hair.

Jaebeom held your waist and hips snugly, trapping you to him. You pressed yourself to his chest and tugged on his hair, earning a groan. You slipped your tongue past his lips and Jaebeom made a noise at your aggression. He could taste the salt of your tears.

This was stupid, you thought to yourself. You just never learned, did you? But God, kissing him was amazing. You let your hands fall from his head to roam his shoulders, pressing your nails into his shirt. You felt so small in his arms, like you were lost in him.

Jaebeom began to move, steering you with him back toward the blanket, still kissing you like his life depended on it. You weren’t surprised when he lay you down, but Jaebeom was beyond surprised when you wrestled him to his back and straddled his hips.

You wanted to grin at the shocked expression he was sporting, but you only caught a brief glimpse of his widened eyes before smashing your lips back on his.

You just wanted to kiss him and kiss him and kiss him until you were satisfied, satiated. Maybe then you could finally get on with your life. It was senseless logic, but all you knew was he kissed so fucking good. It made you crazy. Just like everything else about him.

For fuck’s sake, you would never understand why you were in love with the one thing determined to destroy you.

“Stop. Stop,” you suddenly told him, panting and breathless.

Jaebeom looked at your hand pressed to his chest, watching you sit up on top of him, and his heart sank. He knew that look. You were about to bolt.

“I can’t do this,” you whispered, more to yourself as you brushed your hair out of your face with your fingers.

Jaebeom stroked his palms up your thighs, clad in the tightest jeans he had ever seen, and coaxed, “Why?”

You blinked, thinking of an answer. There were many, but you were trying to invalidate them on the spot.

Jaebeom sat up, wrapping an arm around your hips and rocking you closer to him. “Tell me,” he mumbled, pressing a wet kiss to your neck.

Your eyes fluttered and you felt resolve melting away each time his lips touched over your racing pulse.

“You’ll leave me again,” you cried shakily.

Jaebeom shook his head, proceeding to suck beneath your ear. “I’m not going anywhere,” he growled.

You ran your hands through his hair, hips arching ever so slightly in search of friction. Your body was heating up, excitement pulsing through your veins. You craved him. Lust was a powerful thing, and now you truly understood.

“I am,” you said firmly, pushing him back with both hands and rising to your feet.

Jaebeom slumped back, disappointed and defeated, and shook his hair out of his eyes. Watching you walk away, he begged, “Please stop sleeping with Jackson.”

You turned to face him, lips parting incredulously.

Seeing your anger, he lowered his tone to something more pliant, but definitely snide. “Give me a chance to make things right before you let him get his claws in you.”

It only confirmed what Jackson had said. Jaebeom’s newfound pursuit of you was solely from a place of jealousy. Your best friend had been right and you were too blind to accept it.

“You really are the worst,” you snapped at him, heading back on your way.

Jaebeom shouted vengefully, “He doesn’t fucking deserve you!”

You kept walking and retorted with disdain, “Story of my life, it seems. I guess I only fuck guys that don’t deserve me.”

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