#the second train i could take was late and so fucking stuffed ive never been on a train that full

[bennitastisch]

sometimes taking the train feels like a cruel joke by the universe

#why did i miss the first possible train i could take cause i was putting on my mask #i was there 5 minutes before the train was there and i missed it bc i walked to the doors and out on my mask #the second train i could take was late and so fucking stuffed ive never been on a train that full #it was late on every stopp for a few more minutes cause it was so full ppl could hardly get on #and now im at my destination waiting for my bus and i saw that the third possible train had a waggon more than the one i took and free seats #i swear to god this often makes me belive bad stuff is my fault cause i was there #also my technique to calm down is to take deep breaths and taking deep breaths in a train thats full of ppl wothout their masks on is super #scary #but i survived it #and it was not my fault there were so many ppl on that train #and it was also not my doing that the train after it had free seats #i couldnt have known abt it #and if i took the chance and it would be late id be home an hour later than anticipated #right now its only thirty minutes #i survived it and it was not my fault #ben vents #ben talks #bennitastisch

[xofanfics]

String - Part III

Prologue | Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV

Genre: angst, fluff, suggestive themes

Pairing: Baekhyun x Female Reader

Word Count: 2.9k

Summary: You find yourself in a friends-with-benefits situation with your best friend. You have no business falling for him, but your heart begs to differ.

Eight months had gone by since Baekhyun had seen Kira last. They’d been seeing each other the previous semester but then she got accepted to study abroad, putting their short term situationship to an end. Baekhyun liked her and she liked him; that was clear back then. The timing wasn’t right and Baekhyun had had hopes that they’d start seeing each other again once she got back. While she was in Italy, they’d texted some until their communications were reduced to comments on each others’ social media stories.

Baekhyun had been a bit jealous when he noticed a recurring man in her photos. He kept the details to himself but he did complain about his love life to you. She’d forgotten all about him, clearly and it bummed him out. The two of you had been up late watching tv and complaining about your love lives. He said, “This dating thing sucks, Y/N…”

And you’d said, “It does but complaining at two in the morning isn’t going to help you.”

And he realized you were right. A few days later, he decided to take control of his love life. “I know we’re still a little drunk but I wanna make you feel good. What do you think?” He didn’t know what came over him at the time. Some of it was the liquor and the rest of it was because he was tired of thinking about the girl he couldn’t even have. He thought, Why not have sex with someone I actually have a chance with?

Kira returned to the table, two donuts stuffed with ice cream in her hands. Baekhyun smiled as she handed it to him. “I told you I’d buy you ice cream when I came back,” she said. “Do you still come here?”

Baekhyun shook his head and took a bite. “I haven’t been here since the last time we came.”

Kira took a bite out of hers. Baekhyun couldn’t believe he was looking at her. He took in her beautiful face. Kira was never one to wear much makeup. He noticed that for the most part, she only wore mascara on her long lashes and lipstick on her full, plump lips. She got a tan while she was in Italy he noticed, her skin a golden brown. He didn’t take his eyes off of her during that first bite. The feelings that he had before came rushing back to him the moment their eyes met.

They stayed in the ice cream shop for an hour or two, just catching up and filling each other in on their lives. Kira had a lot to talk about and Baekhyun never got bored. Around eight, they got hungry for real food and ended up eating Italian food at a place called San Marzano. It was one of Baekhyun’s favorite places in the city because it was cheap and because the staff filled people’s wine glasses to the point where they could actually get drunk off of wine.

They ended up waiting around forty minutes but it was a nice evening and Kira didn’t seem to mind it, so they walked around East Village until it was time to make their way back to the restaurant. He and Kira had been on a few dates before but this seemed different. For some reason things felt more raw, more authentic. He felt so alive and in the moment. All he saw and could focus on was Kira. He watched her as she talked. He watched the way her lips moved and the way the corners would turn up into a smile every so often. He listened to the sound of her voice and how it was sweet, honey wrapped around her pretty little vocal cords. He watched her as she drank from her wine glass and how the lipstick she just applied got all over the rim of the glass. He watched as she ate her pasta and the sound of pure pleasure she made at the taste.

Baekhyun was on his second glass of Chardonnay when he felt like his heart was going to burst. Suddenly, he said, “I missed you…”

Though Baekhyun didn’t expect to hear this, she said, “I missed you, too.”

Feeling a little bold, he said, “Is it too late to pick up where we left off?” * The week seemed to drag on. You hadn’t been able to get Baekhyun alone for the past week. The times you’d seen him was when you were with your friends but you wanted to get him alone so that you could talk about your relationship. On Friday, you decided to text him as your shift ended. No one had made any plans of going out tonight so you figured the chances of him being free were higher.

[3:04PM] Hey, can we talk?

Baekhyun [3:32PM] What’s up?

[3:35PM] Are you free tonight?

Baekhyun [3:41PM] I’m going to dinner tonight. You’re still coming to brunch tomorrow though, right?

[3:43 PM] Yeah

Baekhyun [3:45PM] Let’s talk tomorrow then

You weren’t quite satisfied with talking to him tomorrow, being that Evie’s words were still haunting you a week later. Hell, even Sehun’s words were making you feel insecure. You still heard his voice clearly in your head. Kind of? You don’t seem too sure.

You wanted to talk to Baekhyun about where you stood as soon as possible but tomorrow would have to do. Plus, you’d both get drunk and probably end up having sex before the day was over. The thought of having sex with Baekhyun put you in a better mood. It’d been about a week and a half since the last time but you found yourself craving it more than usual. You hadn’t seen him as much since he’d been back and that was understandable, with work and school and everything. * You made it a point to do your makeup and hair in the morning. You put on the black thong that you wore the first time you had sex. You recalled the memory, like it was yesterday. You thought about the way he held you, the way he called your name, and how wild and unexpected it had been. It had been a while since you’d had a spontaneous moment with him.

When you were finished, you looked at yourself in the mirror and were proud of your look. Your lips had a slight tint of pink and your winged eyeliner was something that even the gods couldn’t duplicate. Not to mention that your eyelashes went on without a fuss! You wore a floral dress that flowed with the wind. It showed just enough cleavage to get a man’s attention but not enough to get him hard at the dinner table. You covered up with a jean jacket and grabbed your shoulder bag before heading out.

As you waited for the L train, Sehun crossed your mind. You felt bad about not texting him but you’d explained your reason to him. He didn’t need more than that. Hell, he was a good looking guy; you were sure he’d find someone. It just wouldn’t be you. Your heart was set on Baekhyun and Baekhyun only.

By the time you got to the restaurant, Baekhyun hadn’t arrived yet. You couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed; you wanted him to watch as you made your entrance into the restaurant and toward your table. Maybe it was a bit dramatic. You made your way to the back of the restaurant and greeted your friends.

“God, you look so fucking gorgeous,” said Sadie.

You smiled. “Thanks Sadie.”

Daren winked. “Fine as fuck.”

“Thanks guys,” you said, nearly blushing.

The group ordered the first round of drinks, keeping Baekhyun’s arrival in mind. And like clockwork, Baekhyun showed up and headed toward the table. “Sorry I’m late,” he said, taking his seat across from you.

“Lucky for you we just ordered a pitcher to start us off,” you said.

He chuckled. “Do you have a fashion show to go to after this?”

“Maybe…”

Baekhyun was always so playful, so flirty. He’d always been like this: flirting, making dirty jokes, and so on. He’d been like this even before that night the two of you crossed the line and had sex. Not much had changed other than the fact that you and Baekhyun occasionally would end up in each other’s beds for reasons beyond cuddling.

During brunch, you kept checking the time and were starting to get a little impatient. You wanted to talk to Baekhyun and, to be honest, you felt like your friends were standing in the way of it all. After what seemed like a painful hour and a half, the six of you left and stood outside. You assumed that you’d all go your separate ways until a tipsy Evie said, “It’s only one. It’s too early to go home!”

Then, Baekhyun turned to you. “Didn’t you say your roommates weren’t here this weekend? What if we come over?”

You honestly didn’t want to but after thinking it over again, you realized that going about things this way would be easier since Baekhyun was going to be in your apartment anyway. After everyone else left, you’d be able to talk to him about things and get under him later.

“Um, sure,” you offered.

Evie clapped her hands together. “Yay!”

Drew said, “We can go to that liquor store by your place and get a bottle right? How drunk is everyone trying to get.”

Daren scoffed. “As drunk as humanely possible.” * In case anyone was wondering, Daren did get as drunk as humanely possible and he spent the last thirty minutes of his stay at your apartment throwing up in the toilet because, apparently, he’d overdone it. And a drunk Evie pat his back and sang “Pocketful of Sunshine” while he threw up. Baekhyun supervised, leaning on the door frame. When you approached your friends, you said, “How are they? Evie didn’t start throwing up, did she?”

Before Baekhyun could answer, Evie chimed in. “Hey! I’m not that drunk.”

You laughed and turned back to Baekhyun. He said, “By the way, I’ll clean the toilet after he’s done.”

“Thanks.”

Daren flushed the toilet and wiped his mouth before Evie started helping him at the sink and handing him mouthwash. While they did that, Baekhyun went to work with the toilet brush and toilet bowl cleaner. Within the next ten minutes or so, everyone had started cleaning up the cups and bottles in the kitchen. You appreciated the gesture. As everyone started heading toward the door, Baekhyun followed.

You said, “You’re not going to stay?”

He frowned. “I would but Daren’s in bad shape. Drew left earlier and I think Daren would be better off getting in an Uber with me back to my place to sleep this off. Let’s hangout another day, just us, okay?”

You nodded, knowing that it would be selfish of you to complain when your friend was drunk and suffering. You accepted defeat and said your goodbyes. As the door slammed shut, you let out a sigh. Life had one point and you, on the other hand, had zero—another loss on your end. * You swiped on Instagram after your shower and came across Baekhyun’s profile. Clicking on his profile, you saw that he was watching Euphoria. You felt a pang of hurt as you recalled him saying that you’d watch it together. It was just a show and it wasn’t a big deal but you still couldn’t help but feel annoyed that he’d started watching it without you. When it came out in June, he was the one who asked you to wait until he came back so that you could watch it together.

You decided to reply to his story: Watching without me, huh?

He wrote back, Damn, I forgot. I’ll rewatch the first episode with you. Are you busy tomorrow?

I’m free. Come over.

You messaged him feeling a little annoyed but you felt so much better knowing that you’d see him tomorrow. Sex aside, you missed him. Sex was great but you just craved sitting on the couch and stuffing your faces with takeout. You missed just being around him, doing nothing; just the two of you.

You got in bed, excited to be seeing Baekhyun tomorrow after classes. Finally, some time alone with him. * Butterflies sat in your stomach for hours, fluttering and pushing against the walls, threatening to burst from your bofy. You felt the ticklish feeling until six o’clock as you grabbed Baekhyun’s favorite ten dollar bottle of wine from the liquor store near your apartment. Baekhyun said he’d get to your place around six thirty and you couldn’t contain your excitement.

When you got back your roommate Mya was in the kitchen cooking something that smelled delicious. You’d let her know earlier that you’d be in the living room with Baekhyun, just so that there was no issue with using the TV. Mya smiled as you came in. “Hey Y/N. I’ll be done in a few,” she said.

“No rush,” you said, putting the wine in the fridge. You sat at the counter. “What are you making?”

“Just some beef stew. I don’t think the meat will be that tender to be honest,” Mya said. “I was thinking of getting an Instant Pot. That would make things like this so much easier.”

“You should get one. My mom got one on sale a few months ago.”

“Yeah, it’s definitely worth the investment. Plus I’ll have it for my future one bedroom apartment. I’m manifesting my dream life.”

You’d never given much thought about your future after college, other than getting a job. Mya was skipping over those things and fast forwarding to the things she wanted to get out of life. Thinking about it a little more deeply, by getting her dream apartment, she’d have her dream career and make lots of money.

“I need to get to that level of positivity…”

“You should make a vision board sometime. It helps and it can be your motivation.”

Before you could add anything else, there was a knock on the door. Looking through the peephole, you found the person you’d been expecting. You smiled and let him in.

“Hey,” he said, giving you one of those bear hugs you loved. He turned to the kitchen. “Hi Mya.”

She said, “Hey Baekhyun. Haven’t seen you in a while.”

“I was in Korea for the summer,” he explained. “What are you making by the way? Smells good.”

The three of you made small talk for five more minutes before Mya finished up in the kitchen. Then, Baekhyun plopped on the couch and picked up his phone. You sat next to him. He said, “You hungry?”

“Not really, but I will be.”

“What do you wanna get?”

“How about some Thai food?”

Baekhyun nodded. “That’s a good idea.”

You leaned on Baekhyun’s shoulder as you both ordered the dishes you wanted. You ended up ordering basil fried rice and pad thai with some spring rolls. After ordering, you put on the TV. “You wanna wait to watch Euphoria and watch it while we eat?” He nodded and went to the kitchen to grab his backpack. He pulled out your favorite snack, handing it to you.

You smiled, taking the bag of honey snacks. “You remembered.”

“I found the big bag of them at h mart and thought I’d get it for you.”

As the food came and you watched a couple episodes of the show, you felt like things were returning to the way they used to be. You laughed and joked. He tickled you when you made slick-ass comments to roast him, sending you in a frenzy of giggles. He reminisced about old times and filled you in about his school year so far. He told you about how the gym doesn’t suit him and that he’s been swimming lately. He expressed his concerns about graduation and talked about one day how he wanted to start a business. The two of you danced like fools in the living room and you hugged him, tipsy off of the wine.

And you ended up passing out on the couch, Baekhyun falling asleep on a pillow in your lap. You weren’t sure what time you fell asleep or how you fell asleep in the first place, but you woke up and saw that the cable box let you know that it was almost midnight. Baekhyun was still fast asleep, his mouth slightly ajar.

“Hey,” you said, tapping his cheek. “Wake up babe…”

Baekhyun opened his eyes, a bit startled and sat up. “God, what time is it? How did we fall asleep?”

“No idea,” you said, laughing. “One minute we were dancing and then the next minute we weren’t. Let’s sleep in the bed.”

“I should actually head home,” he said. “I’m going to the pool in the morning for a workout.”

Disappointment washed over you. It wasn’t a big deal and you knew that he wasn’t lying but you couldn’t help but feel annoyed at the fact that he wasn’t going to sleep over. After all your efforts, your chance was shot down yet again. You didn’t want to come off as crazy or be insensitive or anything like that, so you kept your mouth shut.

“Oh,” you said. “Okay.”

“I wanted to go early in the morning,” he explained.

“Yeah that’s fine,” you said.

As Baekhyun stood up and grabbed his things, you couldn’t help but feel frustrated. Your chance had been blown away by a strong gust of wind that you couldn’t control. Things with Baekhyun were up in the air and you didn’t know if you could get a hold of the situation. A relationship with Baekhyun was beginning to seem like a faraway dream.

*********

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#baekhyun #byun baekhyun #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun smut #baekhyun angst #exo angst #exo fluff #exo smut #exo fanfic #exo imagines #baekhyun imagines #exo reactions #kpop angst #kpop smut #kpop fluff #fwb!au #fwb!baekhyun #fwb! to lovers