#the mad family

[bardofavon]

not to be controversial bc I know this is like…not in line with shifting opinions on fanfic comment culture but if there’s a glaring typo in my work I will NOT be offended by pointing it out. if ao3 fucks up the formatting…I will also not be offended by having this pointed out…

‘looking forward to the next update’ and ‘I hope you update soon!’ are different vibes than a demand, and should be read in good faith because a reader is finding their way to tell you how much they love it. I will not be mad at this.

‘I don’t usually like this ship but this fic made me feel something’ is also incredibly high praise. I’m not going to get mad at this.

even ‘I love this fic but I’m curious about why you made [x] choice’ is just another way a reader is engaging in and putting thought into your work.

I just feel like a lot of authors take any comment that’s not perfectly articulated glowing praise in the exact manner they’re hoping to receive it in bad faith.

fic engagement has been dropping across the board over the last several years, and yes it’s frustrating but it isn’t as though I can’t see how it happens. comment anxiety can be a real thing. the last thing anyone wants to do is offend an author they love, and that means sometimes people default to silence.

idk where I’m going with this I guess aside from saying unless a comment is outright attacking me I’m never going to get mad at it, and I think a lot of authors should feel the same way. ESPECIALLY TYPOS PLZ GOD POINT OUT MY TYPOS.

#ao3 #archive of our own #fanfiction #tbh even if I got a comment that said ‘I hate you I’m going to kill your family’ on chapter 75 it still means they read 75 chapters first…. #it just makes me sad to see so many writers shouting into the void #and also see ppl complain openly about the specific types of comments they receive #posting screenshots on Reddit like ‘should I be mad at this’ CALM DOWN #sigh

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[rocktheholygrail]

2x04 || 3x09

#teaching their daughter important life skills like how to fish and how to fake her own murder

#hannibal #hannibaledit #tvedit #hannibal lecter #mads mikkelsen #will graham #hugh dancy #hannigram #abigail hobbs #kacey rohl #murder family #horroredit #horror #nbc hannibal #hannibal nbc #murder husbands #hannibal gifs #hannibal 2x04 #hannibal 3x09

[laquilasse]

whenever I see my dad (or any dad) texting I always think about hag Edgeworth

#miles edgeworth #ace attorney #ace attorney investigations #kay faraday #dadworth #my art #when my older family members use ellipses between thoughts. the decoding involved with trying to figure out if they're mad at me or not

[sillylittleg00ber]

AWWWW WHY R THEY SO SCRUMDILLYUMPTIOUS 🥹

#nbc hannibal #nbc hannigram #hannibal #hannibal lecter #hannibal fandom #hannibal fanart #hannibal fanfiction #hannibal family #will graham #mads mikkelsen #hugh dancy #tv shows #fanart #fanfic #hannigram #m/m ship #bryan fuller #hannibal season one #hannibal season two #hannibal series #hannibal season three #hannibal season four

[mistikfir]

1X09 "Trou Normand"

#hannibal #hannibaledit #hannigram #murder family #murder husbands #tvedit #hugh dancy #mads mikkelsen #will graham #hannibal lecter #trou normand #nbc hannibal #hannimake #mistikfiredit

[frmulcahy]

I hope Christopher Eccleston is having a good day today

#some English person got Big Mad At Me because I said it was a win win if they get a bank holiday if she dies #lmaoooo #England #queen elizabeth #british royal family #uk politics

[bet-on-me-13]

Dr Leslie Thompkins has some interesting references

So! The Batfam in in Dr Thompkins' Clinic for the usual Vigilante Related Injuries, and the Good Dr seems to be distracted.

One of them asks why she is so nervous and she reveals that her old teacher is coming over to visit, and she is worried that the state of her Clinic and the fact that she never managed to find a good job in a Hospital despite his teachings will upset him.

She is worried that she will disappoint him, because he has done so much for her in the past. He is the entire reason she ever managed to become a certified Doctor in the first place.

The others are curious as to what kind of person would illicit this level of concern from the Stric Doctor they knew?

There is a Knock on the Door, and she goes to Answer it.

In steps an 8 Ft Fall Glowing Yeti with an Arm made of Ice.

Frostbite smiles warmly at his former student, "Leslie! It's been too long!"

#Dpxdc #Dp x dc #Dcxdp #Dc x dp #Danny Phantom #Dc #Dcu #Dr Thompkins #Dr Leslie Thompkins #Dr Leslie was trained by Frostbite #I don't know how it happened but it did #Leslie is scared that Frostbite will be disappointed that she is stuck in such a small and run down clinic #In fact Frostbite is extremely proud of her for sticking in the slums and giving affordable medical care for the less fortunate #The Bat Family is extremely confused #How does their resident Doctor know this Giant Glowing Yeti Man? #(At least now they know how Leslie knew how to fix Jason's Pit Madness all that time ago)

[cannibalovers]

contemplating life

#me when im in a love triangle between hydration and dehydration #that glass of water looks mad icy and delicious #and why is he staring at it like that tho jesus #what did it do #is he hypnotised? #did it kill his family #will graham #hannibal #nbc hannibal #hugh dancy #this doesn't even have anything to do with hannibal except that it has hugh dancy on it its just mad funny lol #images

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

Deathstroke kept working at the lock on the upstairs window while talking to him, calling him "Nightwings secret son" in the creepiest voice Danny has ever heard as Danny watched him from the computer monitor. This guy had been trying to break in and kidnap Danny for days but the house keeps fighting him off and Danny was on his very first stay-cation away from ghosts. He wasn't going to deal with this wierdo if he could avoid it.

He had put a lot of work into setting this up. He and Jazz had convinced thier parents to go to a two week occult conference in Fawcett City and leave Danny home alone while Jazz was off taking collage classes in Central City in hopes that it will help her get into her dream collage when she turns 18. Danny even sent Vlad on a while goose chase that sent him into the path of that trench coat guy people kept warning him about before shutting down the portals.

Danny refuses to let all of his effort go to waste and the house is pretty well defended so he decided to just use this as entertainment as he munches on dry cereal.

They didn't have any popcorn in the house and he's not leaving with captain crazy still out there.

Eventually Danny gets bored and @s Nightwing on Chirper simply telling him that Deathstroke was trying to kidnap him and it has something to do with Nightwing. He sends him a fail compilation video of all the times Deathstroke failed to get into the house and getting progressively more angry. The last video showed Deathstroke absolutely enraged.

Danny thought that Nightwing probably had a similar situation with Deathstroke that Danny himself have with Vlad and that he'd laugh and show it to all his superhero friends and they'd mock him together.

He was not expecting half of the batclan in Amity Park 3 hours later. Nor was he expecting to get kidnapped by the bats the moment he was out of the house.

He was most upset by everyone calling him a dick though. Was what he did really that bad? Talking back to adults usually didn't get him anywhere so he just kept quiet and went with them, expecting to have to give testimony to the police or something.

#halloween prompts #prompts #dpxdc #danny phantom #danny fenton #fanfiction prompts #nightwing #deathstroke #slade wilson #slade thinks danny is dicks son #danny has no idea what hes talking about #danny has yet to realise that dick is a name and not an insult #it isnt until hes dragged into a wayne family dinner that he starts questioning things #slade gets really mad in this and hes genuinely scary #Nightwing is terrified for his maybe clone

[meagancandraw]

You ever think about how neither of them got to say goodbye?

#TSAMS #Sun and Moon Show #The Sun and Moon Show #TSAMS Lunar #SAMS Lunar #Sun #SAMS Sun #FNAF Sun #FNAF #Five Nights At Freddy's #MeaganCanDraw #I love New Moon a lot don't get me wrong but Old Moon's and Sun's relationship wasn't black and white (as much as NM wants to insist it was #YES Old Moon treated Sun horribly YES he wasn't the best person but #their relationship was also complicated and messy and they both genuinely loved each other despite everything #So much of what they did was for each other and that adds even more to the tragedy of their relationship and Moon's death #Sun and Old Moon's final conversation was them fighting #Moon's final in-person words to him were “I love you and I'm sorry” #to which Sun didn't say anything bc he was mad at him (which I don't blame him for given everything that happened in that episode) #Do you think Sun has realized this? How often does he go back to that moment #How often has he imagined himself saying or doing something different? Something that would've resulted in them leaving that bunker togethe #Meanwhile Lunar lost the person who gave him a new life and a family that actually cares about him #And he was in Moon's head for months and saw first hand how much his regrets and trauma affected him #Both of which would eventually destroy him due to the cycle of self-loathing he was trapped in #How much does HE think about that? #Anyway sorry for not posting for nearly (checks watch) two years?? #It'll likely happen again #1k

[hyunpic]

#hyunjin #skz #fantaken #i wanted to post them all on their own post #they are so cutsieeeee 😔🐁🩷💘 #multiverse of madness or a family reunion i cant decide

[bixels]

Jesus man, relax.

#this was in response to me saying “lunar new year” on the rarity art #personal #delete later #what in insane nonproblem to get this angry about #i asked my parents (taiwanese immigrants) about this and they said we use either but prefer lunar new year #because it's inclusive to koreans and vietnamese people who celebrate on the same day #lunar new year is an umbrella term same as “happy holidays.” this person is basically getting mad i said happy holidays instead of #merry christmas. #my family and i identify more as taiwanese than chinese so. we're not gonna say chinese new year much anyways #i sent this to my mom btw and she replied with basically “die mad i guess.” love you ma #this literally doesn't matter anyways i could have said “chinese new year” to caption that post and it wouldn't have mattered #the only reason i didn't is because i plan on drawing another art including carol (coco pommel) who's korean and celebrates the same day #like. most people in china/taiwan don't care they just say “happy new year” cuz it's the fuckin new year. someone saying lunar new year is #not erasure it's not flattening asian identities into a monolith. it's just an umbrella term. #anyways happy lunar new year happy chinese new year happy tet happy spring festival happy seollal #like i cannot stress enough to you guys that these holidays are on the exact same day and celebrate basically the same exact thing. #this is not an issue.

[rocktheholygrail]

Hannibal (2013-2015)

1x01 || 3x02 || 3x07

#when you literally try to invent time travel to fix your past mistakes and bring your family back together

#hannibal #hannibaledit #tvedit #hannibal lecter #mads mikkelsen #will graham #hugh dancy #hannigram #abigail hobbs #kacey rohl #murder family #horroredit #horror #nbc hannibal #hannibal nbc #murder husbands #hannibal gifs #hannibal 1x01 #hannibal 3x02 #hannibal 3x07

[sparkles-rule-4eva]

Were we gonna talk about this? :3

I mean, it feels like we already knew they did this, but the fact that Sonic and Tails are constantly making sure the other has eaten, in a subtle way of showing love 🥹

And they "cover each other's blind spots." Where Tails is worrisome, Sonic is confident. Where Sonic is reckless, Tails is careful. There's so many other, smaller ways these brothers take care of each other. 💙💛

#sonic #sonic the hedgehog #sth #miles tails prower #they're brothers your honor #sonic and tails #unbreakable bond #wholesome sonic and tails wednesday #happy wholesome sonic and tails wednesday #again lol #I'm on a roll #i mean no one's mad right #wstw #they take care of each other #🥹🥹 #they really are a family #found family #brothers fluff #sonic idw spoilers #sonic idw #sonic idw issue 64

[sabellart]

the Graham-Lecter family portrait

#look at the happy family #abigail breaks my heart #then there’s just hannibal lurking #hannibal lecter #will graham #hannigram #abigail hobbs #sabeldraws #hannibal nbc #fanart #digital art #mads mikkelsen #hugh dancy