#the lack of rose and finn pictures makes me so sad

[clqoo]

back at it again

#the lack of rose and finn pictures makes me so sad #star wars #sw memes #star wars sequel trilogy #sw #sw sequels #star wars sequels #star wars meme #finn star wars #rose tico #poe dameron #ben solo #kylo ren #rey of jakku #rey #general hux #armitage hux #tfa #tlj #tros

[404fmdhaon]

self para & aesthetic & playlist — v live blues

summary: gyujeong does a solo vlive for the first time in two years — not mandated by the company, just because he’s tipsy and lonely. it’s where he suggests a playlist for those feeling down. playlist summary: feeling down, and gyu suggests his go-to songs for the moments you need a pick me up. (explanation of each song weaved in the self-para). warnings: alcohol wc: 1368 (this accounts for the playlist summary too) 

it’s obvious when he stumbles through the hallways of his apartment — staggered steps, a palm pressed against the walls when he takes his shoes off, tosses it out. he’ll save the cleaning for another day. times like these, it’s the taste of alcohol that lingers on the tip of his tongue and he forages the pieces of things to do for the next day: another recording inside the walls of his studios, and another meeting. no new friends, just the same old people roaming around.

he flicks his gaze towards tokki, snuggled up against her corner of the room (warning: danger territory, he never encroaches towards that facet of her space). instead, he slips a lighter out of his pocket nested deep, lights the candles one by one in his room as he enters — finishes it all off with an incense. 

the aroma of the room slowly dissipates into his comfort scents. forces him to relax his shoulders as he hangs up the jacket wrapped around his body, and by the time he throws his back onto the bed and stares at the ceiling — the realization hits. 

loneliness feels foreign. 

not the gaping hole throbbing inside a void, but the kind that slowly reaches its hands and warps him new. he’s never been the pitiful image of harrowing loneliness, jaded and skewed, no — that’s not his niche. yet, it’s this subtle difference where he’s strung thin from one place to the next and suddenly, he’s screaming out to an empty abyss and alcohol rings his thoughts louder.

gyujeong figures — this kind of night isn’t smoothened over by forcing his eyes shut, shuffling inside his bed for empty hours on end. he needs an escape, and the last form of escape doesn’t come to a call to a friend in the welcome of “what’s up” but instead, the last lapse of his judgement: v-live.

his feet slide back over to his desk, phone positioned against the screen of his monitor. ceiling lights on, he hums to himself the beginnings of the song recorded earlier (drunken state still clocks him, and spoilers would yank the tether around his neck closer in). 

instead, he turns in on, presses his beanie further against his head. four in the morning, and the numbers start trickling in when he stares blankly, full-transparency to a phone with a sea of empty faces.

haon, vlive?  our oppa is treating us! what’s wrong with his expression? is he drunk, he’s red ㅋㅋ handsome even when he looks tired happy fans from indonesia!

he doesn’t greet them, doesn’t say hi. the most he makes is when his cheeks puff out, and he squeezes his lips together shut, blowing out when his hands roll around the mouse. in comes the clicks onto a screen, when the first words he speaks air: “i like these songs — just sit and listen.”

roses by finn askew

the first few sounds of the beat come in before the voice entrances — he sings along. a song about roses, he thinks of yeseul — the eleven roses, one short of a dozen when he waited for her in the corner of a neighborhood (the first time he buys flower for a girl, another first she takes away from him). give you all my time, if you wanna take it slow. you’re my little pick-me-up, yeah. you fill my cup — he stops his cover short when the notion that his pick-me-up becomes a fragment of the past and he’s still jaded by the aftermath.

strawberries and cigarettes by troye sivan Remember when you taught me fate Said it'd all be worth the wait Like that night in the back of the cab When your fingers walked in my hand Next day, nothin' on my phone

he doesn’t sing along, only sulks back into his chair — his hands come across his chest, and he basks in each word flowing past his speakers. thinks of each instance of fate, and how it all slots itself together when he least expects it. one strike of fate after another, and now he’s ten years past his own first steps into the decision that changes him. no longer worth the wait, he shakes his head drowning in the whiplash of missteps sliding from one phase to the next.

it’s his sad boy blues, he knows. doesn’t care when warmth and red-tinges across his face beg to differ.

good news by mac miller When it ain't that bad It could always be worse I'm running out of gas, hardly anything left Hope I make it home from work Well, so tired of being so tired

it’s an ode to one of the greatest inside his head — mac miller. the gentle lull of mumbles and the easy-listening, he’s reminded once more of why healing comes in the form of music. gyujeong continues, follows the play of the song when he raps along in a sing-song motion of when it ain’t that bad, it could be worse. (inside his mind’s a replay of the past few years where bad judgement and whiplash of bc’s constant meetings play.) 

remembers the day of trainee life when the first release of mac miller soothed tired nights in the training room, beads of sweat ceased by the empty echoes of mac playing inside the dark room. “rest in peace, mac miller” he whispers by the time the song ends.

changes by lauv I'm getting rid of all my clothes I don't wear I think I'm gonna cut my hair 'Cause these days, I don't feel like me, mm I think I'm gonna take a break from alcohol

his eyes rove over each comment, a stream of consciousness that leaves each blank face behind a username calling out for a talk. he subdues their woes when he reaches out in the first question of the night — “should i cut my hair?” and in surfaces the cheeky smirk, pulled lopsided when the heartless laughter stems out of his chest heavy soul. 

there’s no happiness inside changes, just the same monotony that drags from one day to the next. he’s thought of it, thought of the times he’s wanted to burn his clothes, start anew. leave the life behind him — yet, it’s the effect already set in stone where he no longer feels like himself. lost his self in the process, and perhaps, it’s what spurred the loneliness in the first place.

blue by keshi Don't hit my cell There's an unknown number on my phone I don't need your help Just let me lay down on the floor

gyujeong paints himself blue. drowns himself in a sea of dark waves, tempest patterns — he sits, throws his head back when he picks up the phone and draws it closer to his face. up-close, personal. yet, there’s a lapse of personal touches when it feels like a narrowing chasm of cctv maximized as the eyes watching glue to each of his moments.

he doesn’t want their help, he just wanted an escape. lying on the floor, sitting on a chair — the act of nothing: he’s numbed out by now.

pink skies by lany

when his eyes flit over to the window, there’s a ribbon of pink in the horizon. the mood down low, he clicks to the next recommended song on the side bar — listens to it for the first time. it draws a picture of a road trip had he ever been served with unrestrained freedom leaving him out in the open (mental note: a road trip might be the answer during the next bolt of loneliness wedging itself deep).

gyujeong stays in his chair, tapping his fingers against the desk. this type of music becomes background noise when he reads out loud, the comments one by one — brows raising in a faux show of interest inside the monotones that wring out the ambivalence. 

“what is your favorite color.” “yellow.” “what are you doing”  “listening to music.” “where is knight?” “inside bc entertainment.” “what do you smell like” “roses.”

october eyes by alt bloom All the lack of symmetry fits you so perfectly lady Yes I fall with your clothes take em' off hold me close, baby Those October eyes Keep me up all night Darling, my sunrise is when you go

the last song he shares in the night, skims past the comments. a farewell to the loneliness still persisting, and he sings along — it all comes full circle when the first and last match up to the one figure lodging herself deeper inside his chest. his october eyes no where to pierce him with the same tempest stare and coy smile, yet he still stays up all night — the sun rises, and that’s when she leaves and fatigue takes over. 

he heaves a heavy breath, chest out. exhale then inhale — the breathiness takes over when his voice shakes, and the room starts spinning. (he still sings along anyway).

by the time it’s over, he doesn’t manage a heartless look. humanized, he offers solace in a dulled out curl of his lip, bares out a “thank you for today,” and in case somewhere fate slides yeseul back to him, he adds the postlude to her. 

“take a listen again, and you’ll know where i stand.” 

#속마음 — 셀프 #노래 더 크게 — 음악

[writingwife-83]

Just Us Now, ch 3

Yay, I was able to update tonight, thanks to @thisisartbylexie my beta reading extraordinaire! 😁 Enjoy the latest bit of this fix-it fic right here, or read and subscribe on AO3. Please do let me know if you’re enjoying it! ❤️ 

“You’re out of your mind.”

Rey stared back at Finn for a moment before glancing at Poe in search of his reaction. Poe only lifted his hands and shook his head.

“I’m with Finn on this one. I gotta say, this is insane!”

“You weren’t there,” she said firmly, looking back and forth between them. “You don’t know the part he played. You didn’t see everything I saw, everything he did.”

“What I’ve seen,” Finn jumped in, “Is Ren trying to kill you. Multiple times! He tried to kill me, and Poe, and every friend we have! In addition to the countless innocent people he’s successfully murdered all over the galaxy! How can he have suddenly changed into a different person?”

“He’s not a different person. He’s always been Ben Solo, an incredibly powerful Jedi was betrayed by those who loved him, and was led astray during a time of weakness. I don’t think he ever truly wanted the life he’s been living, but it was all he felt he had.”

“And who’s to say he won’t be led astray again?” Poe questioned, crossing his arms.

“By who?” Rey laughed.

“Himself! Maybe all that…” Poe gestured, searching for the right word. “That dark stuff is just sitting in him now, dormant until someone looks at him the wrong way or something!”

Rey’s expression softened into quiet thoughtfulness for a moment. “No...I think all that is gone. He’s just Ben now.”

Finn suddenly tilted his head, frowning at her. “Wait a second, what’s going on with you two?”

Poe’s head whipped back and forth, looking between them both. “Going on? You mean Rey and Ky- Ben? Why would there be anything going on between them?!”

Rey shook her head, glancing away. “There’s nothing,” she replied, instantly realizing it sounded halfhearted.

Poe stared at her, mouth agape. “Ok now hold on, that look I know! I don’t have to have Jedi mind powers! Are you kidding me?! I mean, when did this start?!”

“Relax, it’s nothing,” Rey tried to assure them.

Poe threw his hands up and began pacing, but what Rey noted was the way Finn was staring at her, a horrified but knowing expression on his face.

“It’s not nothing,” he said quietly.

“How are we supposed to trust what you’re telling us about Ben when you’re not looking at things with a clear head?” Poe questioned.

“No, I can see him clearly,” she insisted. “I always have. It’s difficult to explain but we’re...connected.”

Poe pinched the bridge of his nose. “Trust me, I don’t want to hear that explained.”

“No, through The Force! We have been, for a long time. Maybe even long before we knew it. I saw things in him just as clearly as I see them in myself. When he was conflicted, but not ready to change, I could see it. Believe me when I tell you that there is no more conflict in him. If you trust me, then please know that you can trust him now as well.”

The two men stared back at her, quite obviously displeased but also realizing that there was nothing more they could say at this point.

“I still don’t think he shouldn’t come here,” Poe added.

“Like I said before, that’s exactly how he feels,” Rey agreed, standing up. “At least for now I think we can all agree he’s better off where he is. And it’s probably better if we all keep this quiet as well, just in case.”

“And you’re planning to go back there, aren’t you?” Finn asked, more concern evident in his eyes. “To Tatooine.”

Rey’s gaze shifted, her lack of reply more than clear to her friends.

“I don’t like this,” Poe said with a grunt of dissatisfaction. He pointed a finger at Rey. “Yes, I trust you...but I still don’t have to like this.”

Rey shifted restlessly on her cot, the morning sun peeking in through the shelter and right into her line of vision. She’d gotten a minimal amount of sleep during the night, and it was rather broken up.

She truly was exhausted, so she should have crashed and slept like a baby. In addition to the fight to the death with Palpatine, getting Ben to safety, and getting him settled on Tatooine, she had to go back to Exegol again before returning to Ajan Kloss. Not only was it unthinkable for her to abandon Luke’s X-wing completely, but she also didn’t want to continue to fly and be seen in a Tie-fighter.

By the less than refreshing morning hours, she had to admit that there was only one explanation for her restlessness, if she were really honest with herself. She was plagued with an undefinable discomfort about leaving Ben on Tatooine. She didn’t mistrust him, she didn’t think he was helpless, and she also knew she’d be returning soon. But somehow she couldn’t shake the little bit of unease, that feeling of something being off. It felt like a piece of herself was missing.

And then, just like that...

“Rey.”

She sat straight up as Ben came into view across from her.

“Hi.” She pushed some hair out of her face. “It’s um, it’s morning here.”

“It’s evening here,” he replied, eyes glancing around him and then connecting back to hers. “How did it go?”

Rey shrugged. “Not bad.”

He smirked. “But not good either.”

She gathered her blanket a little tighter around her middle, looking down. “I understand why they're concerned, I do. It’s just frustrating because I want to make them see what I see. It’s so clear to me and I wish it was just as clear to them!”

When she looked back up at him, his ghost of a smile turned her insides to mush.

“As long as it’s clear to you,” Ben said softly.

Rey had the instant urge to get up and rush over to him. She thought back to when she left Tatooine a few days before and wanted to slap herself for holding back. In hindsight she wondered why she had. What was the point? Now here she was, not truly in the same place with him and likely to lose the connection they shared at any moment, and she wanted nothing more than to hold him and feel him holding her right back.

“Did you initiate this?” she suddenly thought to ask him. “The connection.”

He pursed his lips. “Not exactly.”

She frowned. “What do you mean, not exactly?”

“I wasn’t really...trying,” he replied critically and cleared his throat. “I was just thinking.”

Rey’s lips spread very slowly. “You mean you were thinking about me? Wait, is that how it always worked? Is that what usually started it?”

“Your decaying grandfather started it,” Ben teased.

She rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean.”

Ben shifted his stance and hesitated. “Ok, yes, sometimes I think that was a factor. Maybe just when I was thinking about you really hard.”

Rey’s brow shot up.

“I mean like when I was trying to find you,” he clarified, a little bit of color visible on his cheeks.

She got up very slowly, hesitant to approach as if it might make him disappear faster.

“How’s your leg and...everything?” Rey asked softly.

“Better.”

“Good. You look better.”

She could swear she saw his chest rising and falling more rapidly as she drew closer. And instinctively, she just wanted to feel that motion. In the moment she told herself she simply wanted to feel the clear evidence of life as well as see it.

Rey barely hesitated as she placed her hand against his chest where his heart was, watching the way it made him inhale sharply through his nose and then exhale gently through slightly parted lips.

“Rey,” he murmured, voice a bit unsteady. “When are you-“

“Rey, there’s breakfast if you’re hungry!”

She spun around at the sound of Rose’s voice, wondering if her stance had looked as strange and awkward as she pictured it might have, with her hand hovering in the empty air in front of her.

“Yep, ok thanks, I’ll be right out,” Rey sputtered out, still feeling like she’d just been caught red handed, despite the lack of suspicion on Rose’s features.

“Ok, see you out there,” she replied pleasantly, and quickly took her leave.

Not surprisingly, when Rey turned around again, Ben was gone.

She exhaled, running her fingers roughly through her hair and over her scalp.

“Soon, Ben,” she whispered in reply to his unfinished question. “Trust me, really soon.”

Ben stepped out into the now breezy, though still hot, Tatooine evening air. He shut his eyes, letting the air rush over his face and through his hair, fully taking in all the things he thought would be long gone for him by now.

It would have been enough, he thought for the hundredth time. To see her sit up, smile, say his name, and know that she was going to be ok and go on living. He was ready to go in that moment if he had to. He felt content, peaceful, and even fulfilled. But then she had to go and kiss him like that.

The corners of Ben’s mouth lifted just a little as his mind once again ran through the details.

He admitted to himself that in the moments during their kiss, he did feel a pang of sadness and silently uttered a plea to stay with her. But immediately after they parted, he felt the very same peace come over him. In his eyes, the end result was still well worth the sacrifice. And when he felt himself slipping away, it wasn’t with bitterness and regret, but with happiness.

Now he’d been given this second chance, this new life he didn’t expect, and he found himself struggling to know exactly what to do with it. Yesterday, fighting and dying were his way to make things right. Today, it was living. He’d barely ever done that in his adult years, so it was hard to know where to start.

Ben limped slightly out onto the large rock the little home was built into, lowering himself with a bit of difficulty till he sat on the ground with legs crossed.

Shutting his eyes again and breathing, slow and deep, he tried to remember and focus on some of the things he’d long hidden away. Things Master Luke had taught him back when his mind had yet to be fully corrupted. It all felt like a lifetime ago.

But eventually, slowly, he felt himself lift from the ground, hovering comfortably in the age old Jedi tradition of meditation. It felt a little bit like coming home. His mind felt very much at peace, and so clear of distractions.

That is, except for the several times Rey’s face made an appearance. That was a distraction he couldn’t say he was sorry for.

#reylo #Just Us Now #reylo fic #fix it fic #this left me wanting more lol #so you know imma be writing more soon!

[gffa]

Scattered Star Wars thoughts: - I am so close to being done blogging about Master & Apprentice re: the political stuff, which I’m glad to be getting my thoughts down onto my blog, but also I’m ready to be done with this so that I can move on to the worldbuilding stuff!  Overall, I do very much like the book, but it’s one I had to sit with for awhile to really wrap my head around in order to appreciate what was done with it, which was a long process. I’m still sad that I had almost nothing to say about Obi-Wan in the book (I’m not sure that’s ever happened to me before?  To read something of that length where Obi-Wan was one of the main characters and I have nothing to say!? about Obi-Wan Kenobi!?), but that’s okay because you guys know that Obi-Wan series is coming in 2020 and if you think I stan his character now, JUST YOU WAIT.  :D  :D  :D - I finished Thrawn: Treason and I enjoyed it, but I have to admit that it lacked the spark of the first two.  Even as much as I grumped about Alliances, at least it had a certain sparkle that kept me engaged, while here it sort of felt like nothing really mattered and there weren’t any real stakes to it.  It wasn’t bad!  But neither did I wind up having much to say about it and even getting Eli back was kind of lackluster because none of this seemed to really have any impact on the story. Which isn’t entirely Zahn’s fault, that’s a huge problem I’ve been having with a lot of the SW books in the last year or two, but I wish Thrawn and Eli had had more than just a couple of scenes together, I wish there’d been more to pull me in with the other characters (the opening scenes of Tarkin and Krennic cat fighting were SO GOOD! Eli and Thrawn’s reunion was HILARIOUS!) and that I felt that this had any sort of meaning at all. It’s a perfectly fine book otherwise, the unfolding mystery was solidly done (Zahn does have a strong sense for a good mystery to slowly be revealed in the GFFA) and I enjoyed Ar’alani’s character addition a lot, I’m glad that she still thought Thrawn was kind of an idiot by the end, that mystery solving intelligence doesn’t make him any less of a dumbass sometimes, without feeling like I was meant to be shipping them. I think it might have helped if the narrative didn’t seem so intent on hitting us over the head with Thrawn being the bestest, most admirable, most honorable leader ever, that all his crew love him and he’s so super good to them, because it clashes so hard with his characterization in Rebels and seems to forget that, yes, he does have honor and treats his crew well, but he’s still a villain.  We see nothing acknowledged of him aligning himself with the Empire, meaning that he has to align himself with a group who is committing atrocities, and why he believes that this is something he has to do anyway.  We see nothing of him stealing art from others’ cultures as a bad thing.  We see nothing of him coming down on the actual heroes of the story, the Rebels, being acknowledged as pretty awful. I’m not saying I want Thrawn to be a cackling villain, he can even be an honorable one who has to do dirty things to achieve something he believes is worth more, but that acknowledgement is nowhere in the narrative and the longer these books go on, the more I feel it.  Especially when there’s not that much else in the book to distract me away from it. I’m being grumpy and hard on Zahn, but part of that is because I maintain that the first Thrawn book really was just that charming and well-written!  I’ve been over the moon for some of his other work!  (Changing Seasons is one of my favorite SW stories.)  And I think he has a lot of the pieces here and some of what’s holding him back isn’t his fault (it’s the structure of SW books right now, because IX isn’t out yet), but I want to see him genuinely dig in with this character that he’s spent three novels writing now. - I finished Allegiance and I have to admit to being underwhelmed by the last two issues of it.  When I read the first two, there seemed to be something it was trying to touch on, with Rey’s disconnect from the spiritual side of the Force playing a part, Leia and co. going to Mon Calamari, with the First Order oppressing planets across the galaxy, there could have been some interesting things being done! And I do like that it adds to the picture of the GFFA during this time, that people are still struggling to recover from the war with the Empire and how much that cost all of them.  The moments of Leia looking back on the amount of sacrifice and pain she’s lived through are very effective.  Seeing Mon Cala being invaded by the First Order was very effective.  The Finn and Poe storyline was delightful exciting and just a fun space romp!  Rey and Rose working together was fantastic! But the Rey storyline went absolutely nowhere, there didn’t seem to be any acknowledgement of it after that first issue and it’s not that I needed it resolved, because this is a comic that came out before IX and they can’t resolve anything until they know how that movie shakes out, but just some indication that she’s still searching for how to balance herself, how to choose the light, would have really made the ending of issue #4 sing a lot more. I wish she could have gotten a moment of reflection in #4 like Leia did, because I think that would have taken this comic from good to great. Scattered Star Wars Thoughts/2019 Resolutions Update: - Star Wars: Allegiance #24 - The Star Wars Show 2019.10.09 - The Star Wars Show 2019.10.16 - The Star Wars Show 2019.10.23 - The Star Wars Show 2019.10.30 - The Star Wars Show 2019.11.06 - Return to Vader’s Castle #1-5 - Chewbacca #1-3 - Thrawn: Treason Current total:  342/520

#scattered star wars thoughts #novels

[gamora-borealis]

bruh did you like the rise of skywalker? i want your opinions!

So I actually haven't yet 😂. I'm just really disillusioned with the sequels tbh, and I'm taking a class about Star Wars next semester and I need to rewatch them in release-order and I've only got two down 😂. Plus, I would go see it with my friends but we haven't been able to get together yet. I'll probably see it next week or the week after. I have read the spoilers though...

This is about the get very spoilery and rambly so, just a warning (I'm on mobile so I can't do a read more)

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I can't tell you how enjoyable of a film it is (it might be fun to watch), but as a Star Wars film I think it sounds pretty bad. In terms of the trilogy, the characters seem to have been treated bad with the writing (like Finn, Poe, and Rose), and I really hate Reylo and the fact that JJ was like "oh they have a sibling relationship" but made them kiss??? Like wtf 🤢. And I'm not sad that Kylo died. It's the same thing that happened to Anakin in ROTJ. I am confused about how they went about the Ben Solo/Kylo Ren distinction because it sounds different than the Anakin/Darth Vader distinction.

Plus...the fact that Palpetine survived being thrown down a shaft and the Death Star exploding in space???? I thought bringing Darth Maul back was a bit of a stretch but that's pretty ridiculous...I really thought they were just going with Kylo Ren as the only villain. There are rumors that the villain was supposed to be the Son of Mortis from TCW, which would have been wayyyyy cooler. Because he is legit just like, the dark side as a person (Star Wars' Satan ig?).

I mean honestly, what is the point of episode 6 if Palp survives and just starts all over again? Why did we need these movies? Well, money. Money is why.

I like the characters in the Sequels but I think their potential was squandered by bad writing and a lack of direction. And Rey, Poe, and Finn probably came more out of the original TFA script draft by Michael Arndt that JJ rewrote to his own liking...

JJ is a joke, he just likes throwing around fan service (largely for the older ot fans) and I don't think he is that creative. TFA was pretty meh to me. I could go on for a while about that but I won't, since it was probably the best out of the three.

I have to say that I liked the subversion of JJ's writing with TLJ at first, but I hated how it disrupted any chance of a cohseive trilogy, side-lined Finn, made Luke really ooc (and like...what was that Yoda stuff lol), and had some creepy/bad Rey/Kylo Ren stuff. I also really wanted Rey Skywalker or Kenobi and Rian killed that, but that's just me. If Rey was supposed to be a nobody, they should have stuck with that rather than make her a...you know. I also think TLJ was kinda sloppy in general and like why did they allow Rian Johnson to just do whatever he wanted???

So from what I'm hearing, this movie is just more mistreating of Finn (he's force sensitive but never gets to say it??? Like that's so dumb... I'm so tired of the narrative being built outside of the literal film), randomly making Poe a former drug dealer (??? poor Oscar), adding in some new characters rather than using Rose (Kelly deserves better!!!), weird Reylo service, and trying to reconcile JJ and Rian's visions - which sounds pretty messy.

In my opinion, the sequels are just someone's fanfiction written for money...because they are definitely outside of George's vision. Stuff like Rogue One, the Mandalorian (which I haven't watched yet but I want to), that fits with George's vision - and it's good! Solo is meh to me but that's a whole other discourse...

Anyway, sorry if this was too jumbly and negative - I've been having some pretty strong feelings about this lol. I might actually enjoy the movie when I see it. But that's my critique based on...the larger picture.

Also it gets a 0/10 for no visible Anakin force ghost 🤷

#star wars #the rise of skywalker #tros spoilers #star wars sequels #personal #ask #anti reylo

[eleanor-writes-stuff]

through Rose-colored glasses [one-shot]

The first time Rose ever hears about her new friend Rey's husband is when Finn and Poe tell her that Rey's asked him for a divorce.

OR

Rey and Ben drift apart and then find their way back to each other. Rose watches the whole thing unfold.

I have no idea what this is or where it came from, but at this point that's par for the course, right? Anyway, here’s modern AU Reylo through Rose’s eyes, because I’m a big fan of Rey and Rose being friends.

Also available on AO3.

On Monday, Rose arrives at work only to stumble upon perhaps the most worrying sight she’s encountered in her four months at Resistance.

“Is Rey okay?” she asks Finn and Poe in a hushed whisper, going to painstaking lengths to be as quiet as possible as she settles in next to the woman in question and slowly sets up her workstation for the day. There’s something unnerving about seeing her colleague slumped over her desk like this, face hidden in the cradle of her arms. Rey isn’t exactly the ball of sunshine her office nickname would suggest – her energy levels fluctuate wildly depending on her caffeine intake, just like anyone else – but Rose has never seen her be anything less than completely alert, even that one time they all stayed until midnight to work out some kinks in their project. Old habits, Rey had shrugged when Rose first marveled at her constant sharpness. Some instincts never go away.

Finn and Poe share a long look before the former sighs and tells her, “She’s completely drained. Her husband flew in yesterday.”

Under any other circumstances, that little tidbit of information might have warranted an eyebrow waggle. But Rose isn’t that socially maladjusted – she knows how to read a room well enough, thank you very much – plus she’s way too blindsided to do anything other than ask, “Husband? I didn’t even know she was seeing anyone.”

Come to think of it, there’s a lot about Rey’s life that she doesn’t know, despite the fact that the woman has been a constant source of support for her ever since Rose moved to Chandrila. But it’s one thing not to know Rey’s favorite color; not knowing that she’s married is a whole other beast entirely. “Why doesn’t she ever-?”

Finn clears his throat a little too loudly, bites down on the side of his mouth for a bit before he says, “It’s complicated. She doesn’t like talking about it.”

Poe goes a step further and tells her, “She asked him for a divorce last night.”

“Poe-” Finn hisses in reproach.

“What? It’s Rose. Rey won’t mind,” Poe claims confidently.

Beside Rose, the woman in question sleeps on. She sneaks guilty glances at Rey as she asks the guys for more details, and they paint her a picture of college sweethearts slowly, painfully torn apart by jobs on opposite ends of the country and the stress of a long-distance relationship.

“I think we all saw this coming, but at the same time…” Finn shakes his head and trails off with a heavy sigh as his lips press into a thin line.

“No one could’ve seen this coming,” Poe disagrees. “I mean, this is Rey and Ben we’re talking about. They’re the stuff of fairy tales. If even they can’t make it-”

Rose startles as a hoarse voice beside her croaks, “You do realize I can hear you guys, right?”

Poe jumps slightly and immediately abandons his train of thought as all three of them turn to see Rey slowly lift her head to reveal bloodshot eyes and cracked lips. Rey’s never been overly fussed about her appearance or bothered with makeup, but Rose can honestly say she’s never seen her friend this disheveled – no, not even that one time they all got wasted at Poe’s birthday party and the entire department shuffled into work the next morning with raging hangovers and misery etched all over their faces.

“I’m sorry, Peanut,” Finn says, the first to break the silence. “How are you feeling? Still sure you don’t want me to track the idiot down and-”

Rey winces as Finn pounds his fists together in an unspoken threat, and Poe lands a punch on Finn’s arm, shakes his head at the younger man with a heaviness in his motions that Rose would never have thought to associate with Poe Dameron.

“Don’t,” he hisses at Finn just as Rey abruptly pushes back from the desk and stumbles out of her chair.

“I’m just- I’m going to the bathroom,” Rey mutters, and doesn’t spare any of them a glance before she’s stalking away from the team’s quiet little corner. Her shoulders start to shake before she disappears from sight, and it takes every last bit of Rose’s willpower for her not to run after Rey and offer her help. Rey was there for her when she first adjusted to life in the big city without Paige or any other familiar faces and Rose would do anything to return that kindness, but this is obviously a highly personal situation best handled by the people who’ve known Rey for years.

A beat, and then- “I’ll go,” Finn murmurs, and Rose watches him scurry after his best friend.

“Is Rey going to be okay?” she asks as Poe settles into his chair with a sigh and starts tapping away at his laptop.

Poe stills, and Rose notes the way his shoulders slump with a sinking feeling in her gut. “I don’t know,” he finally admits, and the lost look in his eyes when he turns to her is utterly out of place on her supervisor’s face. “No one does. They’ve been together for so long that it’s completely inconceivable to think of them apart. I think even Rey can’t picture it.”

But she’s the one who asked for the divorce, right? Rose almost asks, but even she knows that’s not how things work. She’s never really been in love, not the kind of love Rey and her husband apparently have, but she knows it’s not something to be thrown aside lightly, not something you can get over just like that. For Rey, who loves her friends fiercely and never gives up on anything, to even consider this…

“Poor Rey,” she murmurs, and vows to do everything within her power to help her friend through this.

On Wednesday morning, she arrives at work for the second day in a row to find Rey hidden from sight.

To improve team coordination and cohesion or something along those lines, the teams at Resistance share a workspace instead of having individual cubicles. When Rose first arrived, Poe likened it to a family all sitting down together at the dining table to help prepare dinner – things just work better when we’re all up to date on what and how the others are doing, he’d shrugged. Besides, it beats staring at a wall all day. But every once in a while, when one of them is working on a deadline, there’s a clip-on desk divider to help them block out the rest of the world.

Before this week, Rose could count on one hand the number of times she’d seen that divider in use since she first started working here, and she’d never seen it in place for more than two hours.

Rey clipped it on sometime after lunch on Monday and hasn’t taken it down since.

When she turns to the guys, Finn merely shakes his head in helpless dismay while Poe gives her one of those sad smiles she’s getting too familiar with.

“Good morning,” Rose says tentatively as she sits down next to Rey, and is honestly surprised when she hears a quiet morning over the felt walls of the divider. A dozen questions come to mind, but she doesn’t push her luck, choosing instead to get right to work.

The team works in silence all morning, the three of them trading hushed murmurs whenever they have to consult each other. Rey speaks up every now and then when it concerns her part of the project, and there’s no doubt that she’s been hard at work behind that divider of hers.

Too hard, maybe.

“She’s always been like that,” Finn shrugs when the two of them head to the break room for coffee. “Throws herself headfirst into work and drowns in it so that she can avoid everything else. I think she wrote the best paper of her life when she and Ben had their first fight as a couple,” he recalls with a chuckle, only to abruptly fall into silence when he remembers the situation at hand.

“Did they…?” Rose asks hesitantly, still trying to navigate the murky waters of office-based friendships and figure out where exactly the line is drawn.

Finn beats her to it. “Fight a lot?” he guesses. “Nope. Before this, I think they’d only ever had two major fights. The one in college was about where they saw themselves in five years’ time, and then there was one about money shortly after they got married – Ben’s always had a lot, Rey didn’t have that much, and they both had strong ideas on how the bills should be split,” Finn kindly explains when he catches sight of Rose’s wrinkled brow. “That’s about it, really. Two fights in seven years. But ever since Ben moved…”

Poe pokes his head into the break room, two jackets on his right arm and a heavy backpack slung over his left shoulder. “Finn, hurry up. We’ve got that lunch meeting with Holdo in fifteen minutes. She wants to meet at Maz’s.”

“Shit, I forgot,” Finn curses, and the two of them bid Rose a quick goodbye before they rush out of the office. She takes her time preparing her coffee, and decides to bring Rey a cup as well.

“Hey,” Rose says gently as she places her own cup on her table, “I brought you some coffee.”

Rey pushes back from her desk and rolls into sight with a soft smile on her face as she reaches for her cup. “Thanks, Rose.”

“You’re welcome,” she beams, happy to note the lack of tear stains on Rey’s cheek. Her next words are a gamble, but– “How are you feeling?”

“Like I’ve made the worst mistake of my life,” Rey promptly replies before she blows on her steaming coffee. “I know it’s the right thing to do. It is,” she insists, more for her own benefit than anyone else’s. “But…”

Rose turns her chair around to fully face Rey, and does her best to look open and supportive.

“It’s just… It was okay, at first. I mean, it was hell on us and I missed him every day, but I knew he was happy, happier than he’d been in a long time, so it was worth it,” Rey says, a small smile on her face as her eyes grow distant. “Consulting just… fits him. Ben’s always needed instant results to quantify his worth, to prove that he’s bringing something to the table. Working for First Order, incubating and troubleshooting – it was perfect for him… at first.”

“What happened?” Rose asks after a beat, allowing Rey to gather her thoughts.

“Snoke happened,” she declares flatly. “When the time came for Ben to come home, he freaked out, said Ben was wasting his potential here in Chandrila. He offered Ben a huge raise and a significant promotion – too good to pass up on, apparently,” Rey scoffs, an unfamiliar bitterness seeping into her voice. “So Ben agreed and told me it would just be one more year. I wasn’t happy about it, but I didn’t hate the idea either; he was still so happy and fulfilled, and I didn’t want to take that from him. But then the promotion came with more and more deskwork, and the next thing Ben knew he was in charge of management and funding instead of any actual consulting or incubating. God, he’s been miserable ever since.”

Rose frowns. “Then why-”

“Contract,” Rey shrugs. “It was easier for him to just wait the year out rather than trying to mess with the contract. So he did – we did – and then when it was finally time for him to come home, Snoke pulled another fucking card up his sleeve, put Ben in charge of basically half the company. And now…” Rey sighs, and Rose watches her friend wilt right before her very eyes. “Now he’s saying that if Ben stays for another two years, he’ll be on track to become the next CEO.”

One of the guys had mentioned Ben’s company in passing – a multi-million tech incubator called First Order – and Rose knows that’s nothing to sneeze at. Even the possibility of being considered to lead the company is a huge deal. But it can’t be worth the pain in Rey’s eyes right now; nothing could possibly be worth causing that kind of hurt to your wife.

“The thing is, if he wanted this… if he were still happy…” Rey says slowly, heavily. “I’d be okay with it. I mean, it sucks and I miss him so much it hurts sometimes, but if he’s happy then I’m happy, you know?” she shrugs. “But I know he’s not happy, I know he’d be better off coming back here. I’m here, and his family’s here, all our friends are here… our whole life is here, and he’s off being miserable in Coruscant while I’m all alone in the house we bought to raise a family and grow old together in.”

Rey makes a strangled little sound, and Rose realizes that she’s choking on a sob. She reaches forward to take the coffee out of Rey’s hand, puts it on the table before she toes her chair closer to Rey’s and reaches out with open arms.

“Oh, honey,” Rose sighs as Rey falls into her arms, and tries her best to replicate the way Paige cards soothing fingers through her hair whenever she’s upset. “It’s going to be okay, Rey. You’re going to be okay.”

But as Rey breaks down in her arms, she thinks of what Poe told her on Monday and starts to see what he was talking about.

 On Friday, Finn arrives at work and heads straight for Rey’s corner with single-minded determination, and Rose gasps as she watches him wrench away the desk divider.

“We’re going out tonight,” he declares. “No excuses, no exceptions. You need this.”

He crosses his arms and taps one foot against the hardwood floor while he stares Rey down, and Rose locks eyes with Poe to find that he’s watching the situation unfold with bated breath just like her.

The seconds tick by, and eventually Poe moves to break the tension when–

“Fine,” Rey gives in with a sigh. “But!” she holds up one finger before Finn can get ahead of himself. “No clubs. No raves. Nothing crazy. I just want to grab some drinks with my friends after a long week, okay?”

“Good enough,” Finn shrugs, and heads to his table. Rose leans over and taps a weary-looking Rey on the arm.

“I’ll keep him in line, I promise,” she assures Rey. “I’m thinking… Cantina?” It’s a bit rundown for Rose’s tastes, and certainly not Finn or Poe’s first pick, but Rey loves the place for some reason and Rose knows she’ll at least feel comfortable there.

“Rose Tico, you’re one of the good ones,” Rey whispers with a smile, possibly the brightest one she’s worn all week, and Rose beams at her in return before they go back to work.

The desk divider remains on the floor where Finn left it, and when the three of them ask Rey if she’d like them to bring anything back from lunch, she actually takes them up on their offer for the first time this week and requests a hearty meal that’s more in line with her usual tastes than the bits and pieces she’s been forcing herself to eat all week.

“I think she’s finally processed it,” Finn says a couple of hours after lunch, the three of them huddled together in the break room while Rey remains hard at work. “I mean, I’m not saying it’s going to be smooth sailing from here on out, but… it’s a start, right?”

Poe shrugs and Rose smiles, and it finally feels like things might actually go back to normal for their little team.

And then a tall, dark-haired man walks into the office and Rose watches in shock and confusion as Poe and Finn drop everything to chase after him and block him from making his way to their little corner, tucked away behind the wall located towards the back of the office.

Rose joins them just in time to hear the newcomer pleading–

“Guys, I need to talk to her, I have to do something-”

“You’ve done enough, Solo,” Finn says with a glare, folding his arms over his chest. He and Poe stand shoulder-to-shoulder as if that’ll deter this absolute hulk of a man – seriously, how does Rey even look at him for extended periods of time? – from pushing past them. It’s an amusing sight, but the show of support for their friend warms Rose’s heart.

The man – Ben, she realizes, the mysterious husband who’s completely devastated her friend – could easily push past them, send them both sprawling with a single shove.

He doesn’t, and she watches in awe as he crumples in on himself instead, his posture slumping into something defeated as his voice drops into a pained whisper. “Please, Finn, I’m here to fix this.”

Poe, who she’s learned is kind of a childhood friend of Ben’s, is significantly gentler than Finn when he says, “There’s only one way to fix this, Ben.”

“I know,” Ben sighs, runs a hand through his hair. “That’s why I’m here.”

It takes a while for Rose to catch up, but when Finn’s eyes widen at the implication of Ben’s words and he allows some of the tension to drain out of him, she realizes the magnitude of what’s going on here.

“Are you saying–?”

“Ben,” Poe chimes in, “did you–?”

“I want her to be the first to know,” Ben answers evasively before he takes a deep breath and looks at Finn and Poe. “She deserves that much, at least.”

Finn nods in agreement. “It shouldn’t have taken this long, man,” he says with a hint of admonishment in his voice, but steps aside anyway.

Ben drops his eyes to the ground as he murmurs, “I know.” Rose is struck by how much he resembles a kicked puppy right now, and suddenly understands what Rey meant when she said she could never be angry with him for long.

“You should never have let it get this far,” Poe adds.

Ben sighs. “I know, Poe. Trust me, I know. Can I please just…”

The two men share a look, and Poe steps further aside to make space for Ben as Finn reaches out and pats him on the shoulder. “Good luck.”

For no discernible reason, Rose allows impulse to propel her forward and plants herself between Ben and their corner.

“Rose Tico,” she says curtly, sticking her hand out as she draws herself to her full height and squares her shoulders.

“Um,” Ben’s forehead is creased with confusion as he shakes her hand. “Ben Solo. Who-”

“I’m a friend of Rey’s,” she explains. “And she means a lot to me.”

Ben smiles then, a soft thing she recognizes from watching Rey get lost in memories of happier times. “She means a lot to me too,” he says quietly.

It’s adorable – they’re adorable, and Rose can’t wait to squeal all about this once they’ve worked things out and she gets to see them actually be the loved-up couple Finn and Poe consistently describe them as – but Rose pushes the thought aside for later and forces herself to focus. “Good,” she says, a little sharper than intended. “So you won’t hurt her again, right?”

Holding eye contact with Ben Solo is somehow more intimidating than she’d expected it to be, given that all she’s heard about the man has come from either his wife or his close friend, but Rose doesn’t waver until Ben nods and solemnly vows, “Never again.”

“Okay. Good,” Rose nods, and finally allows a smile to break through her tough façade. “Go for it, Ben.”

“Um, thanks… Rose,” he says somewhat hesitantly, but laughs at the situation all the same and throws a nervous smile over his shoulder at the three of them before he rounds the corner.

“Come on,” Poe hisses, and she feels a tug at her arm before she processes that he’s pulling both her and Finn closer to their workspace.

“Shouldn’t we give them some privacy?” Rose whispers as the guys hug the wall and lean forward ever-so-slightly to spy on their friends.

“Nope,” they say in perfect unison, and Finn reaches out to pull Rose forward just in time for her to witness Rey notice Ben’s presence.

“Ben?” she whispers, and Rose strains to pick out the wonder and fear in her friend’s voice as she gapes at the unexpected sight of her husband.

Even more unexpected is the way Ben crumples at the sound of his wife’s voice, just… falls to his knees and presses his face to her stomach. From this distance all Rose can make out is a litany of “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” interspersed with other things she can’t quite catch.

Rey leans forward, curves almost protectively over her husband as she runs her fingers through his hair soothingly. There’s no mistaking when she finally hears what Ben has to say, her sharp gasp ringing out in the quiet space.

She slides down from her chair to kneel on the ground with Ben, and Rose feels happy tears trickling down her cheeks as she watches Rey throw herself into her husband’s arms with a sob. He holds her close, the both of them crying and smiling between kisses, and when Rose hears a quiet sniff it takes her a moment to realize that it didn’t come from her.

“What?” Finn snaps defensively when two pairs of eyes fall on him in disbelief. “I like a happy ending,” he adds, darting a hand up to his face to swipe at his tears.

“You sap,” Poe says with a roll of his eyes, but it doesn’t escape anyone’s notice that they’re suspiciously shiny. Finn calls him out on it, and the guys rib each other for a bit before they settle down.

Rose ignores them, and just smiles to herself as she watches the happy couple hold and heal each other.

Would you believe that this was originally meant to be a ficlet?

I've got something planned for Halloween, so hopefully I'll be able to shake off this weird episode soon and get back to my normal writing style in time for that because this is getting ridiculous, really. Amazon reviews? Royals AU? And now this??? Oh well, at least it was fun to explore Rose's POV for a bit. Still a bit shaky on characterization, but I TRIED (and failed).

All the same, thank you for reading and I hope you liked it. As always, please don't hesitate to like/reblog/comment!

#reylo #reylo au #rey/kylo ren #rey/ben solo #kylo ren/rey #reyben #rose tico #star wars #rey #ben solo #kylo ren #fic: rose-colored glasses #fic archive #my fics

[hello-stensy-blog]

Political Incident : Chapter V

Armitage never held any interest in warm climates or lush vegetation before. Arkanis was known to be a cold and sad environment, and he had never left his homeland. He did not mind these traits as he did not know any better. But here, now, he knew he was not in Arkanis. He could not put his finger on what made him feel so good about the place he was currently standing in. Leaning against the balcony, he surveyed the landscape. With each lingering second, new questions sprung in his mind. He realized he had no idea where he was. He had never seen this place before. It was the absolute opposite of Arkanis. His country was dominated by cool colors, and at this moment he was too hot. He could not remember how he arrived here in the first place. As he was beginning to feel uncomfortable, he heard the crumpling of sheet behind him. With it, everything suddenly made sense and he knew where he was. The Ren’s castle in Naboo. Naboo, capital of Ren's territory. Kylo’s balcony. And Kylo was nearby. Armitage turned to see that Kylo indeed was here. He could recognize his dark locks and broad back. He was not alone. Under his massive body, Armitage could just make out a frailer one lying beneath. Armitage was no more than an observer of this intimate exchange. He found he could not look away. Therefore, he watched Kylo sin in his bed. He could only see his back and hear his deep moans, but it was enough to make him shiver. Oddly enough, the contemplation of Kylo's hip movements did not make him uncomfortable anymore, but simply (unreasonably) aroused. Kylo's partner had his legs slung around those hips, and Kylo lustfully caressed them while continuing to pleasure his partner and himself. Shortly after, Kylo turned his head to face Armitage. He had the smug smile Armitage knew well and told him, "You really should get some human contact, if you know what I mean. I’d volunteer, if you’d like." He got up then, leaving his partner behind. Armitage’s eyes widened with shock when he discovered that Kylo was in fact sinning with no other than himself, Armitage Hux. Two pairs of identical blue eyes met while Kylo approached him. Closer than ever, he stroked the confused ginger’s cheek, getting closer, and closer. As the prince of Naboo’s lips met with Armitage’s, he began to hear noises that immediately startled him away, hurtling him toward dark memories. He looked back at the bed and found that the other Armitage was now struggling in the air, hanged above the sheets he had been pleasured on just a few seconds ago. His feet were desperately trying to touch the mattress as his body swung with the effort and his throat continued to produce the most spine-chilling sounds. *********************************************** For the first time ever, Armitage Hux didn’t get up with the sun. The only thing that rose with him was a panic attack soon followed by a violent headache.

He was no longer in Naboo, he had no doubt about that. He could hear hard rain drops hitting his windows. The memories of his nightmare did not want to leave his mind and he kept seeing himself hanged above the bed. That vision was superimposed to another he once had, on a cruel morning of his childhood. His breath shortened and tears slowly ran over his face. He tried, but could not contain them.

- Wow, Hux, are you okay?

Armitage jumped at the voice rising next to him. He had not noticed Kylo Ren there, sitting on his bed. Knowing he was not alone was enough for Hux to come back to his senses. He wiped his tears and, to keep up appearances, growled at a sincerely concerned Kylo Ren:

-What do you put in your bloody liquor, Ren? -You didn’t drink that much. Two sips and you were already gone. -Ugh.

Armitage sat up and almost instantly regretted this decision. It felt like a war was happening in his head, one that he wasn't in command of.

-What are you doing in my room, anyway? -What a way to thank me for the tenderness I gave you last night.

Hux turned to him in horror. Ren giggled.

-Hux, calm down. It was a joke. You're still wearing your clothes, what are you thinking? -Oh, I am sure this kind of joke is a hit with your kind, Ren. But we don't joke like that around here.

Especially after such a TERRIBLE nightmare, Armitage thought.

-Yeah, I heard about that. Too bad for all of you. You're clearly missing out.

By the way he speaks, you can tell he has been busy sinning his entire life. This sole fact was making Hux feel nervous. He is in my room, discussing unholy things as if he is trying to get me hooked. Armitage's response to this was immediate and cold:

- The only thing we are "missing out on," as you say, is an opportunity to be hanged. So thanks, I'll pass.

Kylo Ren gawked at him. Yesterday night, when he had to bring the Hux successor back to his room, he had noticed something in him. He couldn’t unsee it now. Armitage Hux's stature called for his hold, making the ginger's rejection to it even more frustrating. He felt a heat crawl down his chest. He pictured seizing Armitage Hux, his hands on his hips, forcing him to hold his gaze. He wanted to show him how natural it was. Two boys can take care of each other. It is no outrage, despite what your father says. Kylo realized Hux was staring at him with eager eyes.

-I must change clothes, Lord Ren, and I would quite like you not in my room staring at me like a creep as I do. -Right, Kylo said, leaving quickly once he was back to his senses.

Alone at last, Hux deeply sighed.

***********************************************

As she was walking the castle’s corridor, Leia Ren heard the announcement. A few men were announcing it over and over: “The execution will take place in two hours at the castle’s main gates.” She couldn’t believe it. I have confronted Brendol Hux about the poor boy’s case last night, and all for nothing. This fool will listen to no one else but himself. And I can’t even contact Poe, as I sent him to get our forces prepared. Time is running out. What should I do?

“The execution will take place in two hours at the castle’s main gates.”

Leia sighed, thinking hard about her options. She looked up and saw her son at the end of the corridor with Jeha. They were speaking low, both looking by the opened window. She called her son out and both men turned. Kylo leaned into Jeha to whisper something while she walked toward them at a quick pace. By the time she reached the two, Jeha was bowing and leaving in a hurry. Leia and Kylo’s eyes met gravely. They didn’t have to say it out loud, they knew they shared the same concern. They could read each other’s minds by sharing a gaze, which was sometimes unfortunate for Kylo. Whenever he tried to hide something from his mother, the secrecy never lasted long.

-We have to do something about it. -I know exactly how.

Leia’s eyes opened with astonishment.

-I hope it does not involve any barbaric means. -Oh, come on! I know when to lay low, I am not just a rabid dog! -Alright! So, what is your plan, exactly?

Mother and son walked together for a time, exchanging their thoughts with low voices. They were both feeling relieved, confident about the situation now that they had moved their pawns. All they had to do was wait patiently and act as if nothing was happening.

***********************************************

Finn had no other choice but to be reminded of his upcoming death every half-hour. Even from the dungeon, he could hear the faint echo of the announcement. Only a few hours to go. Are you done with life Finn? No. Got any regrets? Lots. He heard complaints behind the door. He focused on the noises, trying to understand what was going on. His cell’s door opened with a terrifying grating sound. Two men entered. What? No, it’s too early! That’s not fair! Finn resumed his pleas where he left them few hours ago.

-No! No, please, don’t! Don’t do it! Don’t do it? -Don’t do what? Rescue you?

Wait, what? Finn was confused.

The youngest man sighed, obviously lacking of patience. He seized Finn’s arms, opening the padlock and freeing him. -We don’t have time. We’ll explain on the road. -The road? What road? I’m not getting executed? -Today is your lucky day, the other man commented as he helped Finn get on his feet. -Who are you guys? -We are knights of Ren. Our master sent us. -Aren’t you supposed to wear helmets, or…? -Wouldn’t be very wise for us to leave your cell with our masks on, don’t you think? -Right, right. So, is this real? Like, really real? -I don’t know, you tell me, the youngest one said while pinching Finn hard, which made Finn yelp in surprise. -Come on, Jeha, let’s go, whispered the other, seemingly more reasonable knight.

***********************************************

As Kylo and Leia descended the hard-stone stairs, they came across Armitage Hux. Hopefully he had not overheard any of their plotting. However, Leia did not appear unsettled by this sudden meeting.

-Your Grace, Hux said. -Armitage, Leia greeted him, Do you know where I could find your father? I would like to have a word with him. -He is getting ready in his chamber. I don’t think it’s a good idea to interrupt him, he hates delaying executions. -Man needs his morning kill, Kylo grumbled.

Armitage acknowledged him with an icy look.

-I still have to check on the prisoner before his big moment, but I am HIGHLY interested in your thoughts, Ren. Please, share them with me while we dine. After we made the bastard hang, of course.

Armitage then left with a sneer. A frustrating habit of his, Kylo noticed. Mother and Son shared a look and smiled.

-He’s going to be HIGHLY disappointed. -Let us move on, we have an execution to attend.

She offered her arm, he gladly took it and they walked triumphantly despite the pouring rain. Meanwhile Armitage, accompanied by Phasma and two of his men, went to the dungeon. When he found the empty cell, the ginger felt as if his own execution had come. To the soldiers with him, he abruptly ordered:

-Don’t let my father know. Prepare the horses and come with me. We are hunting the poacher.

***********************************************

Half an hour passed without a sign of his son. Brendol Hux was not pleased. He was even less pleased with the weather. He hadn’t foreseen the storm coming, but the signs were now there. Things had not gone the way he wanted. He had planned to hang that man by now. Although some people (Leia Ren) might not like it, Brendol did not need anyone’s approval to kill as he pleased. But now there was this storm, and his son’s disappearance, and Leia Ren looked pleased with the whole situation. He could see it in her eyes. As everyone was waiting in front of the scaffold, he could see that she was up to something. She looked too pleased. He would do anything to make all smugness disappear from her face. He pictured her, hanging up there, and that was a pleasant vision. You wouldn’t be the first woman to be hanged, sweetheart. If Armitage was here, he could testify. Don’t think you’re above my justice. Definitely losing patience, Brendol left to the dungeon only to make the most upsetting discovery. My bastard has failed me once again, but for once he is not the only one to blame. Back at the scaffold, under the downpour, Brendol Hux gave the order to his knights.

-I command you to arrest the traitor, Leia Ren!

Kylo, getting in the way of the knights to protect his mother, immediately shouted:

-You ARE NOT going near her!

Brendol’s knights drew their swords, as did did Kylo and his own. He was not afraid to take them on―they vanquished more terrible opponents before.

-Surely, we can all discuss this calmly, Leia said peacefully. -We will have all the time in the world to discuss after you are behind bars, whore.

Brendol went too far for Kylo. The Ren descendant slayed the closest knight to him with a circular slash.The first blood made people scream in the audience. Ironically, those who had gathered to see a man hang feared the impending bloodshed and they they fled the area promptly. The wind was still furiously blowing. A battle was about to begin.

#kylux #kylux au #kylux fanfic #fanfic #fic #armitage hux #ben solo #kylo ren

[lurkernolonger]

B for Bollocks (2/2)

Hey guys! Thank you again for all the kind words about this story! As opposed to part 1, this second half was a struggle for me. I went back and forth with two endings and I still don’t know if I made the right choice. Honestly I am not fully happy with it, but who doesn’t doubt themselves right?  Plus if I agonize over it anymore I’ll never complete it. I’m going away at the weekend for a month long holiday and I didn’t want to wait until I got back to post it, so here it is flaws and all. Hope you enjoy! xx

Archie had rung him five times, Chop had knocked for him twice, and Rae had done zero of either in the past four days (and that was the count that mattered most).

Finn wasn’t angry with her, never could be really. It wasn’t her fault she was brilliant and he was a coward. He had watched in jealous anguish as Archie dated her and told himself that he wouldn’t let it happen again. Until it did.

Finn was gone on her almost immediately, but by the time he actually realized it his best mate had moved in. He had been so relieved when they didn’t work out. The closer Finn got to Rae, the closer he stepped to the edge of falling hopelessly for her. That one afternoon in his room, when she had confessed about France, about her scars, she had seemed so afraid of his reaction. Rae’s eyes had filled with tears as she folded into herself and away from him. She had babbled about how she would understand if he didn’t want her around, if he wanted her to leave and stay away, but all it did was make him want her more. She was so brave, so strong, so wrong about herself. Finn had held her close and whispered that no matter what he always wanted her around. From that moment she was his, and he’d tried to stake his claim in little touches or looks, listening sessions in his room and mix-tapes full of subliminal messages. Finn was crap with words and he knew actually voicing it out loud ran the risk of losing everything. He’d been such a dick to her in the beginning he was just happy to have her as a friend; happy she trusted him enough with her real self. So he let his feelings rest, let the steady tingle in his skin settle as he waited for some kind of sign; his hope being buoyed by how she said his name or left her scent lingering on his pillows. Evidently, he had waited too long and deep down he knew he had no one to blame but himself.

But that didn’t stop him from avoiding everybody, opting to sulk in his room instead. And sulking is really all he could do. He couldn’t even appreciate his records anymore because everything reminded him of Rae; how she hummed along with Morrissey, mouthed the words to The Stone Roses, and swayed her hips to Primal Scream (she probably thought he didn’t notice, but he definitely did; the visual aiding him in at least a dozen wanks). Not to mention Spaceman. After leaving the pub he had bitterly shoved it in the back of the furthest crate, darkly muttering “our song, my arse”. But it was that very thought that stopped him from hurling it like a frisbee towards the tip. She never liked Radiohead much, but he couldn’t fall back on that either because once Brandon had showed up in a Thom Yorke shirt and that’s all Finn could picture when No Surprises came on. “Tosser didn’t even have the decency to have crap taste in music,” Finn grumbled to himself before shutting off his speakers. He looked around his room for something else to do, but again all he saw were the places Rae had sat or stood or touched, and he knew it was no use.

It was midday Friday which meant the gang was most likely at the chippy. Finn looked over at the calendar pinned to his wall where he had surreptitiously marked down Rae’s work schedule to see that she was off, which meant she would be there too. He wasn’t sure if he was excited or sick at that. Usually he barely lasted 24 hours without seeing her but now being around her meant seeing B-for-Bollocks-Bastard-Brandon too. Finn sat contemplating going, images of slapping Brandon’s smug face with a fresh from the fryer battered sausage swirling in his mind, when his stomach growled angrily making his decision for him. Can’t avoid them forever. With a huff he grabbed his flannel and helmet and clopped down the stairs.

Finn paused outside the chippy window. The gang was sat at the same table where they had assembled the day before Knebworth, the day he’d punched Big G, the day he should have walked Rae home and told her that Chop might as well have printed her name on the front of Finn’s shirt because, really, he was more excited to see her than Oasis. Rae was sat at the end of the table and the hungry animal in his stomach morphed into a thousand restless butterflies. Fuck, if she didn’t somehow get prettier in the last 72 hours. She was wearing her I Wanna Be Adored shirt and a genuine smile; two of his favourite things to see on her. Again he thought of another lost opportunity: that day in the park where he’d been so eager to apologize he’d forgotten he was half naked. Then he’d gone and made that garbled noise in the back of his throat after telling her she was sound. Not to mention his I-realize-this-is-too-long-but-I’m-busy-sniffing-your-hair hug. The memory made him cringe. “Such a twat,” he mumbled to himself, turning to get back on his scooter, but a loud bang and the vibration of the shop window made him jump. Chop’s gap tooth grin at startling him immediately changed to one of a stern parent as he brandished a finger and said “GET THE FUCK IN HERE” loud enough for Finn to hear through the thick glass. Well he had no choice now, he’d been spotted. Hitting his helmet against his thigh, he went for the door. Chop grabbed him by the back of the neck as soon as he was in arms reach.

“The hell have you been?!” Chop admonished, steering him towards the table. Finn shrugged. Not like he could say ’Oh, just at home being miserable and getting strange looks off my dad.’

Looking up he noticed an empty seat in front of Rae, Archie next to her and, surprisingly, Brandon beside him. Finn furrowed his brow at that. If Rae was his he’d be sat close enough to hand feed her chips and feel her breath on his neck. That image quickly turned X rated in his mind, and he had to shake his head to rid himself of the poorly timed fantasy. Not now, he told himself as he slipped into the empty chair.

“Finn!” Izzy waved at him enthusiastically, her red hair bouncing happily. “We missed you, where ya been?”

“Yeah where’d you disappear to?” Chloe’s tone was slightly accusatory and it made him hunch his shoulders.

Shit, really can’t avoid this question. “Just around” he shrugged again. Finn looked over at Archie and was met with crossed arms and an icy glare. I guess I deserve that. “Archer”

Archie looked him over, probably assessing how much Finn had punished himself already before determining how much more crap he deserved for blanking him for days. He must have read the lines under Finn’s eyes from lack of sleep and the frustratingly skewed fringe like one of his history books because his shoulders lost their menace, and that sympathetic smile was back. “You alright?” Archie asked. Two words with a hundred annotations. Was he alright? Finn genuinely didn’t know, so he let his head do a weird shake/nod/shrug thing to neither confirm nor deny.

The table’s conversation continued but Finn noticed Rae had gone quiet since he’d walked in. She was looking down at her tray as she swirled a chip in curry sauce. “Hey Rae” Finn managed, but not without his voice cracking on the end of her name. Fuck will I ever not be a complete pleb around her? He cleared his throat to recover, but her eyes shot up to him and she actually looked relieved before that genuine smile was back.

“Finnley. I was starting to think you’d left the country, or at least Lincolnshire,” she teased in a hushed tone, before pushing her cone of chips towards him in offering.

“Thought about it,” he said honestly, grabbing a chip as a distraction. He felt her nudge his foot with hers under the table and he looked up to find her smiling softly.

“You’re alright though?” To that he nodded. If it meant her eyes wouldn’t look so sad, he would make himself alright. “And uh…we’re..well, are we alright?” Her voice was quiet and hesitant and Finn suddenly felt incredibly guilty for running out on her without explaining. But how do you explain your heart in your throat and your stomach falling out of your arse?

“Yeah. ‘Course,” and he let his foot nudge her back. Her smile was wide this time, reaching her eyes until she bit her lip and nodded. For Finn it was one of those moments; the kind that mutes and blurs everything else around them and makes him feel like maybe he gets what love is.

He tore his gaze away to catch his breath and see if Archie had caught their exchange, but instead was met with Brandon looking over at them. His forehead was creased with a look of consternation before his eyes met Finn’s. Finn made sure to hold his gaze firmly until Brandon gave him a half nod and turned back to conversation with the others.

“Right. Now that this bellend is back,” Chop’s voice rose over the din of the table as he pointed a half eaten saveloy in Finn’s direction, “we can discuss the rave tomorrow.”

Saturday morning had Finn certain that he wasn’t going to go. Last night he’d dreamt of the rave: a pulsing room with swirling colours and warm bodies, and at the centre of it all Brandon was kissing Rae. Finn had woken up in a cold sweat, a hard pain in his chest and an even harder determination to not subject his reality to that gutting scene. That is until Chop showed up at his with glow sticks, whistles and a threat to tell Gary about the time they’d nicked his expensive scotch and gashed the side of his car trying to make the curve of the McDonalds drive thru. They had been able to get their burgers and convince Gary it must have been vandalism, escaping any punishment. It was the miracle of their then 15 year old lives, and the only reason Finn wasn’t still grounded, so he had no choice but to get ready.

The ride there was loud and the gang had so much energy it boosted Finn’s enthusiasm. He hollered along, drinking cans with Archie, glad that he ended up in a separate car from Rae and Brandon. But when he sees her emerge from Chop’s Renault 5 looking like some golden glittery goddess, he wishes so badly that he had been pressed against her in the back seat until the sequins of her jacket left oddly shaped imprints on his skin. Chop offers him something from a baggy and whatever it is, he’s taking it.

They’re dancing now, just him and Rae. Everyone else has split off and Finn doesn’t care or even wonder where they are because she has his whistle in her mouth and her hands above her head and she looks about as loose as he feels. She’s not touching him at all, but the string of the whistle might as well be connected right to his soul because he feels completely tethered to her. This is how it should be. Him and Rae, happy, together. He’s lost all inhibitions to intoxication and is about to tell her just how right this feels, but then Izzy is pulling her away and his whistle drops to his chest and settles against his heartache. Reality drips down him like the sweat on his brow; he’d almost confessed to a girl with a boyfriend. She’s with Brandon, he reminds himself. After watching Rae get swallowed by the crowd, Finn moves to the back of the room where it’s slightly quieter, seeking the bar to shoot down anything that will replace the sinking in his stomach with a fiery burn. But he doesn’t make it because he’s stopped dead in his tracks and what he’s seeing has successfully set his whole body alight with fury.

Brandon is leaned against a wall in an intimate embrace with some brunette in a tight dress, his mouth on her neck as her hands move up his shirt. Blind rage surges through Finn and the next thing he knows he has Brandon by the collar and is shoving him up against the brick, the brunette cast off and forgotten.

“What the fuck, Finn!”

“YOU SCUMMY PIECE OF SHIT!!” Finn seethes as he grabs him close, only to slam him back into the wall repeatedly. “YOU DON’T FUCKING DESERVE HER!” Finn’s whole body is shaking and he’s sure he’s never felt this angry before.

Brandon’s hands are at Finn’s wrists, and he manages to shift his weight and throw him off. Finn launches himself forward, catching Brandon by the middle and tackling him to the ground. They’re tussling and rolling over one another trying to get the upper hand, unaware of the crowd building around them. “Do you even know how fucking lucky you are?! You have her and that’s how you treat her?!” Finn is breathing hard and trying to land punches at any available spot but his determination to talk through the fight has made him sloppy and Brandon is too quick. Soon he’s being straddled, and Brandon’s hands are pinning his arms to the ground.

“What the fuck is this about?! Did you know that girl or summat?” Brandon asks through heaving breaths. This has Finn flailing, determined to escape his hold so he can murder the thick son of a bitch. He’s rolled them over now so he looms over Brandon and his right arm pulls past his ear to deliver the final crushing blow, when Brandon gives him a verbal hit that’s harder than any punch.

“I’m not with Rae!!”

Finn’s whole body slackens and his arm falls to his side. “You what?”

“That’s what this is about right? Rae?” Brandon still has his hands up in defence, bracing himself for another attack. Finn just stares at him dumbly. He is so fucking lost right now. Neither of them has moved but then a girl in the crowd breaks their intense stare down.

“Are you two gonna fight or what?” They both turn to her, and finally take notice of the ring of people surrounding them.

“Take your clothes off first!!” her friend demands before falling into a fit of giggles.

“Yeah if we had some jelly this could get really hot” another standby voice yells out.

A weak scattered chorus of “punch him, punch him, punch him” breaks out but when neither of them make a move, the crowd dissipates. Finn rolls off Brandon and sits next to him, arms resting on his knees.

“Say it again,” he demands.

“I’m not dating Rae”

“But…you…she-”

“I like her. I thought maybe she liked me too, but-”

“What?” Finn’s mind was swirling. With booze and drugs and bruises he just couldn’t grasp what was happening.

“She said she didn’t want things to get weird since we worked together, but I figured there had to be another reason. Then I saw how you two looked at each other and…” Brandon trailed off and shrugged to finish his thought.

“But what about-”

“Look, Nelson” Brandon interrupted. He sounded exasperated and Finn clocked an odd look in his eye. It was almost sad. “I never took you for a cock block but that’s the second girl you’ve gotten in the middle of. Just go talk to Rae, yeah?” And with that he got up and disappeared into the crowd.

Finn’s hands shake as he dismounts his scooter and looks up at Rae’s house. After his fight with Brandon, he’d searched for her for ages, only to hear from Archie that she had gone off to help Chop. When he asked with what, Archie had slurred through an explanation of Rae being the “daddy” and something about that twat dealer from Dalehead snogging a fairy. It had only left Finn more confused, and by the time they made it to where they had parked up, Chop’s car was gone. Finn had driven him and a queasy Archie straight to the chippy in hopes she’d be there, but when the others (bar Brandon) arrived for the debrief, Chop explained that he had dropped Rae home a few hours ago. Finn had promptly ran home to shower (no way was he going to talk to her smelling like a distillery) and grab his bike. With a deep breath he heads towards the front door, before thinking better of waking Linda at this early an hour. Instead he climbs up the drain pipe and knocks gently on Rae’s window. After a few minutes Rae appears on the other side, confused, before she unlocks the window and opens it for him.

“Finn? What the bloody hell are you doing out there?” She whisper yells.

“Is it alright if I come in?”

“Uh…yeah okay. Just don’t break your neck alright? Don’t need my mum waking up to a dead body on the lawn.” She moves aside to let him in and once he’s safely got feet to carpet she’s asking “thought we were meant to meet at the chippy?”

“I needed to talk to you about summat important. In private” Finn says, taking a step closer to her. A worried look comes over her face before she nods and gestures for him to continue. “Rae…I…” he trails off, unsure of where to start, so he takes another step so they’re toe to toe.

“What?” her voice is so quiet and he can tell she’s bracing herself for whatever is about to happen.

Finn’s not sure getting this close was a good idea. He can smell her shampoo and his words die on his lips when he feels her chest rising and falling against his. His body knows what it wants though and suddenly he has one hand in her hair while the other cups her cheek, stroking her face gently. Rae’s eyes look wet as her gaze moves to Finn’s lips which are only an inch away from hers.

“Rae…”

“Yeah…”

“I came to tell you that I’ve wanted to do this for a long time,” he whispers. And then he’s kissing her.

Finn has imagined kissing her thousands of times. Endless variations of how it would go, who would make the initial move, which lip he would devour first (he always ended on her bottom one, it was just so plump), how long it would last, what noises she would make; but he never knew it could feel like this. No other girl made it feel like this. He could have never imagined how perfectly her mouth slotted with his, or the thrill that shot through him when he felt her fist his shirt and pull him closer, or the way they melted together when their tongues touched. Finn’s toes curled as his mind went blank while the rest of him felt so full. Too full; of words, of want, of need. At that moment kissing her became a necessity. World War III could be breaking out right next to them and all he would hear and see and feel was one Rae Earl.

Finn feels her smile against his lips before she pulls away slightly. Her mouth is still close enough that her lips brush his as she asks “why the fuck did we wait so long to do that?” He allows a breath of a laugh out before he’s on her again and, like at the chippy and the thousand other times he’s felt it before, it’s one of those moments. Their moments; when the rest of the world shifts away and it’s just the two of them. But this time Finn knows for sure what love is.

They’re in his room, on his bed, kissing. It’s been three weeks since the rave and they haven’t really stopped kissing, despite the protests of the gang. They haven’t gone further than that, but Finn’s not complaining. The fact that he gets to hold her by the waist and put his tongue in her mouth and call her his girl is amazing enough to him. So when Rae’s hands start to creep up the back of his shirt, and he feels her nails gently rake at his skin while her tongue swirls against his Adam’s apple, he isn’t ashamed to admit he’s already about to mess his jeans.

Finn dips his head, his mouth greedy to get back to her delicious lips. Her arms move up so her hands are in his hair and he takes the opportunity to slip his own hands under her top. She hums against his mouth and he takes it as his cue to continue. Finn’s hands ghost higher, until he can feel the smooth expanse of her back and the tips of his fingers rub the clasp of her bra. Rae shifts to lift her back off the bed and he pulls her with him so they’re both sitting upright. Finn nips her bottom lip before pulling away. He’s pleased to see she’s just as dazed as him, that maybe his kisses are messing with her mind as much as hers do his. Her eyes are half closed and her lips are swollen from his bites and the sight makes him feel like he’s on fire. She gives him a barely there brush of the lips before guiding his hands to the hem of her shirt. Finn looks into her eyes, raises his brows in question, afraid words will brake the sensous air thick around them. Rae comes close, nods against his nose before swiping her tongue across his top lip. He kisses her until he has to move to make way for her shirt and when he sees her breasts spilling out of a lacy teal bra, he’s not sure he’ll ever be able to stand her in clothes again. His eyes travel from her cleavage, higher until they settle on a necklace. The necklace. B for Brandon’s necklace.

Finn’s certain he’s never lost his arousal faster. The sight of that gold pendant between her collar bones is gut wrenching. He hasn’t seen it since that first day, and after their kiss in her room he was sure he’d never see it again. But all this time it was under her clothes like a secret. Nestled close to the breasts that he’s been fantasizing about. He hasn’t moved and the only thing that shatters his shock is Rae pulling the covers over her. When he looks to her face she seems mortified and her eyes are full of tears.

“Fuck! I knew it. You’re disgusted by me. I can’t believe I let you see me!” Rae grabs for her shirt and stands. Tears fall from her eyes and hit Finn’s hand and he feels the panic rise inside of him.

“No Rae, no! That’s not- Rae!” He’s grabbing for her now but she pulls away and shoves her shirt over her head.

“Please don’t touch me Finn, don’t!”

“Rae listen to me -”

She’s on the floor grabbing her things, frantically searching for her Converse. She’s sobbing and the sound squeezes Finn’s heart like a vice.

“Rae! Listen to me, please! It’s not you! I love how you look, I swear!” Finn knows he’s yelling but he needs her to hear him. She does. She stops mid grab for her backpack and looks up at him. He gets down on his knees so they’re level and grabs her face. “Rae, I love your body. I find you so fucking sexy, believe me. It’s just…I saw the necklace and it was like a punch to the bollocks”

“What?” Confusion clouds over Rae’s face and she pulls out of his hands.

“Brandon’s necklace. Why are you still wearing it?” Finn’s voice brakes with the painful lump in his throat.

“What? The fuck are you talking about Finn?”

Finn sighs heavy, falls back so he’s sitting on his bum, and leans against his bed. “I know it’s from him Rae. B for Brandon.”

It’s quiet for a long moment, he’s staring at his hands because he’s afraid to look at her but when she laughs his head shoots up. The tears are gone and she’s wearing a smile. Finn grimaces at her. He doesn’t see what the hell about this situation could possibly be amusing. Rae shuffles on her knees until she’s in front of him, then swings one leg over to straddle his lap.

“You numpty. This necklace is not from Brandon.”

“What? Then who’s it from?”

Rae bites her lip and her eyes dance across his face as if she’s trying to memorize this moment. “It’s from Karim”

“KARIM?! But I…I don’t..Karim?” He knows he sounds daft but he is thoroughly confused.

“He gave it to me after him and my mum got married in Tunisia. Said he wanted me to feel like part of his family, ‘cause that’s what I am” Rae shrugs and places her hands on Finn’s neck, thumbs rubbing at his jawline. “Sounds cheesy, but it meant a lot to me. It’s the first time someone has wanted to be my dad in any sorta way, you know?” Tears fill her eyes again and Finn moves his arms to circle her waist.

“So-”

“B for Bouchtat, yeah” Rae interrupts and nods, giving him a watery smile. Finn buries his head in her neck, embarrassed.

“More like B for Bloody idiot. Fuck Rae, I’m so sorry. I’m such a dickhead” Finn says against her skin, nuzzling closer, trying to hide how red he’s gone. He’s been so thick about the whole situation.

“Yeah well, I’ve only been telling you that this whole time. Glad you’ve finally admitted it,” Rae laughs as she strokes his hair.

Finn places a kiss on her neck before pulling away, his finger tracing the chain of the necklace. “I really am sorry, Rae. I never want to make you cry. It’s just…the thought of you with anyone else…”

“You must really be an idiot if you think I want anyone else, Finnley. You’re stuck with me now.”

Finn beams and tightens his hold on her. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. And you don’t even need to give me a necklace,” Rae teases.

“Nah, anyone can get a necklace. I was thinking something more permanent. Like a massive ‘F’ tattoo on your back or summat.” Finn traces the letter above the band of her leggings for show.

“Bollocks to that!”

Finn shakes his head and laughs before pulling her face to his, close enough for their breath to mix. He rubs his nose lightly against hers.

“I love you, girl”

“I love you too, dickhead”

Hours later when Rae is fast sleep against his chest, her bare skin sticking to his, Finn reaches for a biro in his beside drawer and draws a tiny ‘F’ on the inside of her wrist.

The end! Thank you for reading :)

I’m only tagging those who specifically asked. If you want to be added or removed, let me know!

@bitchesbecrazy89 @crystalgiddings1993 @eveerez @hey1tskat1e @kneekeyta @likeashootingstarfades @l88cym @mmfdfanfic @milllott @milymargot @tinakegg

#mmfd #mmfdfanfic #Rinn #my mad fat diary #my mad fat fandom #b for bollocks #mmfd fanfic #mmfd fan fiction #mmfd fanfiction #i wrote this

[jss-one]

My SW:TLJ The Rantview

Star Wars: TLJ: The Review..err rant...

The Rantview.

Right off the bat, I didn't like TFA. I liked the characters,but I thought the story was a lazy note for note rehash of the original movies.

Alot of weird decisions were made that if just made differently, and in seemingly obvious ways, the movies story would've been more original and just cooler. But "let the past die" as they say,were onto TLJ now.

I liked alot about this movie, I enjoyed this movie while watching it and actually got a little emotional at certain points. The action was great, the battle scenes were great, the big light sabre duels were great, chewy flying the falcon while Rey manned the gun was great. The resistance bombers were great! Those new At-at gorilla things were great, the dreadnaughts = great.

I really like poe and reys story lines here, I like that Rey has more hope than she maybe should and I like that Poe, the child of two republic war heroes is maybe too quick to do the "heroic" thing when it may put others in danger. I dug it.

I liked Finn in this I actually wish we got a little more of him working through the soldier he grew up trained to be and the hero he'd have to be now, but he got a few great scenes,fought phasma like a boss and he got rose. I know people hated it but I loved their little romantic arc.

The slapstick comedy parts were super heavy handed and I found them for the most part unfunny, that's really not the comedy I feel like SW needs or is about,in fact i think it kind of pulled me out of the experience but I'm not a writer wtf do I know?

Luke throwing the lightsabre over his shoulder was borderline offensive to my sensibilities. Him simply dropping it to the ground or off the cliff would've served just the same to show his current feelings towards all things Jedi but they went with the clown shoes stuff. Lame.

Got emotional for Yoda.

Straight up almost shed a tear when artoo played the original Leia recording for Kenobi.

Getting soft in my old age but that messed me up.

I liked the kylo/Luke duel but I feel like the balls were totally cut off by it being astral projection. I didn't want luke to die but I was ok with the way they did it, just wish it was a little more impactful by being...you know,real.

Personally I'd have had Luke raise the xwing from the water ala dagobah and flown one last mission to crait with artoo but I guess that would be too much attention to luke,which i get the vibe all the attention they pay him here they feel forced to do.

My overall thoughts are I while I enjoyed this film i really can't get past the idea that these new films are just 2/3rds a reboot, with the old guys shoe horned in in spots to keep the long time fans quiet, and I don't get it. Why is this a new universe? WHY are there NONE of the old alien races or droid models in the background? That's a conscious choice and one that just doesn't make sense to me. You bought star wars because it's star wars, twileks,ithorians, rodians, gamoreans are star wars.astromechs,protocol droids,gonks are star wars.People love star wars and always loved star wars, no one was begging for a reboot. I really like the new characters, I like what they do with them for the most part but I don't understand why they can't exist in the universe we all already loved. I'm all for new races, alot of the new races I've seen were super interesting and cool, but the complete lack of the originals is too much and makes me feel like this is no longer my star wars.

Someone said

"this film forces you to rethink what star wars is."

That's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever read.

What was this? A gun to my head forcing me to rethink? It was a cool movie, it was star wars...but different,for no real reason I can determine other than to SAY it's different. We're just not going to acknowledge history? Even a little? The way they killed admiral akbar as an afterthought is CRIMINAL. Why not use these characters to prop up these new young heroes and villains? Star wars is not three movies, I'm sorry, it's not. It's 6 movies and years of GREAT comics and more recently great television (filoni is god). You don't need to directly acknowledge all of it all the time but to disregard it bums me out.

Star Wars important to me, I know that's corny to get invested in shit like this but it is and I am. I remember the first star wars toys my father got me. I remember designing light sabres and painting my extra artoo units to be different astromechs. When I was sad or depressed, I'd read about star wars or draw star wars or just looked at pictures of star wars stuff.

It helped.

When I was younger, nah fuck that, even now I think about things Yoda said and ObiWan said and, while not exactly applicable, definitely shaped my decision making in small (maybe medium sized) ways. I've never had an apartment without a Yoda statue or figure somewhere. I'm not the only person who feels like this, there are people WAY crazier than me. That's why SW makes so much god damned money, because for whatever reason it grabs people. That's why Disney bought the damn franchise for a billion fucking dollars, it wasn't for a love of story telling. Which is why I don't get alot of these decisions, you can do both. You can honor the old while forging and propelling the new. It doesn't have to be luke,Leia and han in there 90s with some other kids around, I wouldn't want that anyway.

I liked The Last Jedi, I'll go see the new one because of this movie but I can't help but feel like I'm being politely escorted out of a club I've been hanging out at (and paying dues) for 30+ years

[hello-stensy-blog]

Political Incident, Chapter IV: Storm

Armitage never held any interest in warm climates or lush vegetation before. Arkanis was known to be a cold and sad environment, and he had never left his homeland. He did not mind these traits as he did not know any better. But here, now, he knew he was not in Arkanis.  He could not put his finger on what made him feel so good about the place he was currently standing in. Leaning against the balcony, he surveyed the landscape. With each lingering second, new questions sprung in his mind. He realized he had no idea where he was. He had never seen this place before. It was the absolute opposite of Arkanis. His country was dominated by cool colors, and at this moment he was too hot. He could not remember how he arrived here in the first place. As he was beginning to feel uncomfortable, he heard the crumpling of sheet behind him. With it, everything suddenly made sense and he knew where he was. The Ren’s castle in Naboo. Kylo’s balcony. And Kylo was nearby.

Armitage turned to see that Kylo was here. He could recognize his dark locks and broad back. He was not alone. Under his massive body, Armitage could just make out a frailer one lying beneath.

Armitage was no more than an observer of this intimate exchange. He found he could not look away. Therefore, he watched Kylo sin in his bed. He could only see his back and hear his deep moans, but it was enough to make him shiver. Oddly enough, the contemplation of Kylo's hip movements did not make him uncomfortable anymore, but simply (unreasonably) aroused. Kylo's partner had his legs slung around those hips, and Kylo lustfully caressed them while continuing to pleasure his partner and himself.

Shortly after, Kylo turned his head to face Armitage. He had the smug smile Armitage knew well and told him, "You really should get some human contact, if you know what I mean. I’d volunteer, if you’d like."

He got up then, leaving his partner behind. Armitage’s eyes widened with shock when he discovered that Kylo was in fact sinning with no other than himself, Armitage Hux. Two pairs of identical blue eyes met while Kylo approached him. Closer than ever, he stroked the confused ginger’s cheek, getting closer, and closer. As the prince of Naboo’s lips met with Armitage’s, he began to hear noises that immediately startled him away, hurtling him toward dark memories. He looked back at the bed and found that the other Armitage was now struggling in the air, hanged above the sheets he had been pleasured on just a few seconds ago. His feet were desperately trying to touch the mattress as his body swung with the effort and his throat continued to produce the most spine-chilling sounds.

***********************************************

For the first time ever, Armitage Hux didn’t get up with the sun. The only thing that rose with him was a panic attack soon followed by a violent headache.

He was no longer in Naboo, he had no doubt about that. He could hear hard rain drops hitting his windows.

The memories of his nightmare did not want to leave his mind and he kept seeing himself hanged above the bed. That vision was superimposed to another he once had, on a cruel morning of his childhood. His breath shortened and tears slowly ran over his face. He tried, but could not contain them.

- Wow, Hux, are you okay?

Armitage jumped at the voice rising next to him. He had not noticed Kylo Ren there, sitting on his bed. Knowing he was not alone was enough for Hux to come back to his senses. He wiped his tears and, to keep up appearances, growled at a sincerely concerned Kylo Ren:

-What do you put in your bloody liquor, Ren? -You didn’t drink that much. Two sips and you were already gone. -Ugh. Armitage sat up and almost instantly regretted this decision. It felt like a war was happening in his head, one that he wasn't in command of. -What are you doing in my room, anyway? -What a way to thank me for the tenderness I gave you last night. Hux turned to him in horror. Ren giggled. -Hux, calm down. It was a joke. You're still wearing your clothes, what are you thinking? -Oh, I am sure this kind of joke is a hit with your kind, Ren. But we don't joke like that around here.

Especially after such a TERRIBLE nightmare, Armitage thought.

-Yeah, I heard about that. Too bad for all of you. You're clearly missing out. By the way he speaks, you can tell he has been busy sinning his entire life. This sole fact was making Hux feel nervous. He is in my room, discussing unholy things as if he is trying to get me hooked. Armitage's response to this was immediate and cold:

- The only thing we are "missing out on," as you say, is an opportunity to be hanged. So thanks, I'll pass. Kylo Ren gawked at him. Yesterday night, when he had to bring the Hux successor back to his room, he had noticed something in him.  He couldn’t unsee it now. Armitage Hux's stature called for his hold, making the ginger's rejection to it even more frustrating. He felt a heat crawl down his chest. He pictured seizing Armitage Hux,  his hands on his hips, forcing him to hold his gaze. He wanted to show him how natural it was. Two boys can take care of each other. It is no outrage, despite what your father says.

Kylo realized Hux was staring at him with eager eyes.

-I must change clothes, Lord Ren, and I would quite like you not in my room staring at me like a creep as I do.

-Right, Kylo said, leaving quickly once he was back to his senses.

Alone at last, Hux deeply sighed.

***********************************************

As she was walking the castle’s corridor, Leia Ren heard the announcement. A few men were announcing it over and over: “The execution will take place in two hours at the castle’s main gates.”

She couldn’t believe it. I have confronted Brendol Hux about the poor boy’s case last night, and all for nothing. This fool will listen to no one else but himself. And I can’t even contact Poe, as I sent him to get our forces prepared. Time is running out. What should I do?

“The execution will take place in two hours at the castle’s main gates.”

Leia sighed, thinking hard about her options. She looked up and saw her son at the end of the corridor with Jeha. They were speaking low, both looking by the opened window. She called her son out and both men turned. Kylo leaned into Jeha to whisper something while she walked toward them at a quick pace. By the time she reached the two, Jeha was bowing and leaving in a hurry. Leia and Kylo’s eyes met gravely. They didn’t have to say it out loud, they knew they shared the same concern. They could read each other’s minds by sharing a gaze, which was sometimes unfortunate for Kylo. Whenever he tried to hide something from his mother, the secrecy never lasted long.

-We have to do something about it.

-I know exactly how.

Leia’s eyes opened with astonishment.

-I hope it does not involve any barbaric means.

-Oh, come on! I know when to lay low, I am not just a rabid dog!

-Alright! So, what is your plan, exactly?

Mother and son walked together for a time, exchanging their thoughts with low voices. They were both feeling relieved, confident about the situation now that they had moved their pawns. All they had to do was wait patiently and act as if nothing was happening.

***********************************************

Finn had no other choice but to be reminded of his upcoming death every half-hour. Even from the dungeon, he could hear the faint echo of the announcement. Only a few hours to go. Are you done with life Finn? No. Got any regrets? Lots.

He heard complaints behind the door. He focused on the noises, trying to understand what was going on. His cell’s door opened with a terrifying grating sound. Two men entered. What? No, it’s too early! That’s not fair!

Finn resumed his pleas where he left them few hours ago.

-No! No, please, don’t! Don’t do it! Don’t do it?

-Don’t do what? Rescue you?

Wait, what?

Finn was confused.

The youngest man sighed, obviously lacking of patience. He seized Finn’s arms, opening the padlock and freeing him.

-We don’t have time. We’ll explain on the road.

-The road? What road? I’m not getting executed?

-Today is your lucky day, the other man commented as he helped Finn get on his feet.

-Who are you guys?

-We are knights of Ren. Our master sent us.

-Aren’t you supposed to wear helmets, or…?

-Wouldn’t be very wise for us to leave your cell with our masks on, don’t you think?

-Right, right. So, is this real? Like, really real?

-I don’t know, you tell me, the youngest one said while pinching Finn hard, which made Finn yelp in surprise.

-Come on, Jeha, let’s go, whispered the other, seemingly more reasonable knight.

***********************************************

As Kylo and Leia descended the hard-stone stairs, they came across Armitage Hux. Hopefully he had not overheard any of their plotting. However, Leia did not appear unsettled by this sudden meeting. -Your Grace, Hux said. -Armitage, Leia greeted him, Do you know where I could find your father? I would like to have a word with him. -He is getting ready in his chamber. I don’t think it’s a good idea to interrupt him, he hates delaying executions. -Man needs his morning kill, Kylo grumbled. Armitage acknowledged him with an icy look. -I still have to check on the prisoner before his big moment, but I am HIGHLY interested in your thoughts, Ren. Please, share them with me while we dine. After we made the bastard hang, of course. Armitage then left with a sneer. A frustrating habit of his, Kylo noticed. Mother and Son shared a look and smiled.

-He’s going to be HIGHLY disappointed.

-Let us move on, we have an execution to attend. She offered her arm, he gladly took it and they walked triumphantly despite the pouring rain. Meanwhile Armitage, accompanied by Phasma and two of his men, went to the dungeon.

When he found the empty cell, the ginger felt as if his own execution had come. To the soldiers with him, he abruptly ordered:

-Don’t let my father know. Prepare the horses and come with me. We are hunting the poacher.

***********************************************

Half an hour passed without a sign of his son. Brendol Hux was not pleased. He was even less pleased with the weather. He hadn’t foreseen the storm coming, but the signs were now there. Things had not gone the way he wanted. He had planned to hang that man by now. Although some people (Leia Ren) might not like it, Brendol did not need anyone’s approval to kill as he pleased. But now there was this storm, and his son’s disappearance, and Leia Ren looked pleased with the whole situation. He could see it in her eyes. As everyone was waiting in front of the scaffold, he could see that she was up to something. She looked too pleased. He would do anything to make all smugness disappear from her face. He pictured her, hanging up there, and that was a pleasant vision. You wouldn’t be the first woman to be hanged, sweetheart. If Armitage was here, he could testify. Don’t think you’re above my justice.

Definitely losing patience, Brendol left to the dungeon only to make the most upsetting discovery. My bastard has failed me once again, but for once he is not the only one to blame.

Back at the scaffold, under the downpour, Brendol Hux gave the order to his knights.

-I command you to arrest the traitor, Leia Ren!

Kylo immediately shouted:

-You ARE NOT going near her!

Brendol’s knights drew their swords, as did did Kylo and his own. He was not afraid to take them on―they vanquished more terrible opponents before.

-Surely, we can all discuss this calmly, Leia said peacefully.

-We will have all the time in the world to discuss after you are behind bars, whore.

Brendol went too far for Kylo. The Ren descendant slayed the closest knight to him with a circular slash.The first blood made people scream in the audience. Ironically, those who had gathered to see a man hang feared the impending bloodshed and they they fled the area promptly.

The wind was still furiously blowing.

A battle was about to begin.

#kylux fic #kylux au #kylux #armitage hux #general hux #kylo ren