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#the eye roll is my favourite
Doyle annoying Doc for exactly one minute and 36 seconds. Made this ages ago, forgot it existed and then rediscovered it today.
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shit-talker · 2 months
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Roach makes a tiktok rating the signatures the 141 use on their emails;
"Regarding question, please refrain, Lt Riley"
Roach : Very in character for the big man, unfortunately it was in regards to a question of requesting leave so. 4/10.
"Your brother in Christ, Sg Garrick"
Roach : Wonderful form. Made me laugh. Solid score. 7/10
"Stay positive and test negative guys, Sg McTavish"
Roach : Covid jokes are always funny, but he's made this one several times now, and I'm bored of it. 3/10 for fuckery.
"Don't fuck this up you little enabling shits, Cpt Price"
Roach : Hilarious. Our group chat is now titled "little enabling shits" not very professional from the captain. Still 9/10.
"We will discuss more later, SC Laswell."
Roach : Terrifying. Actually, bone chilling. Scared all of us so much. 10/10 for pure fear.
"Eat my ass, Sg Riley xx."
Roach : This one's super old now, but I love it, so it's staying here. 11/10. Gods speed, Si.
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softquietsteadylove · 3 months
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Birdie, I've got an idea for Valentine's Day! 🖤✨
Jack is asking his uncle Gilgamesh for an advice for Valentine's Day. So he and Gil are baking heart shaped cookies for their loved ones. On Valentine's Day Jack is giving his cookies to Thena because he loves his aunt very much and Phastos is complaining because he doesn't get a single heart shaped cookie.
Hugs and Love🖤✨
"Did you find out who it is?"
"No," Phastos huffed, watching from around the corner as Jack held up a decorated cookie for Gil to examine and certify. "He won't tell me."
"Perhaps it's best left alone," Ben posited from his chair, much more relaxed than his husband. "If he's not ready to tell us, he's not ready. He is only 11, habibi."
"Exactly, he's just a kid," Phastos hissed back at his partner. He looked back into the kitchen, where Jack was trying to sneak another taste of icing. At least Gil had taken seriously that Jack could not eat that much raw egg safely. He could like the cookie dough spoon, that was it. "He's too young for this."
Ben sighed, shutting his book and standing to join his husband. He slid his hand up his back gently, "well, some humans develop those kinds of feelings early. It's probably just a little crush."
"Little crush my ass," Phastos grumbled in response. He looked at Ben, "he's my kid too, and Eternals love...intensely."
Ben simply nodded, knowing very well that every bond the Eternals had tended to span thousands of years.
"Why are you spying on them?"
"F-!" Phastos sucked his lip between his teeth before he could let out a curse that would rattle even his superpowered glass windows. He glared at his sister, "T, I swear to god, okay?"
"What?" the Warrior Eternal merely blinked at him, still soft around the edges from her nap. She looked into the kitchen as well. "They seem to be enjoying themselves. What is the occasion?"
"Valentine's?" Phastos prompted, only to be met with Thena's 'statue face'. He rolled his eyes, "poor Gil, stuck with you for every damn one of 'em."
Thena pursed her lips at her brother before reaching up and pinching his side. "I will have you know, Gilgamesh prefers to take the lead on such occasions. I participate--that is enough for him."
"I'm sure it is," Ben assuaged, eager to get in between the two immortal beings who bickered like children. "Jack asked Gil for help making the cookies just after you went back to your room."
"Hm," Thena tilted her head at the scene. "Gil often makes something for this day; there is no secret to it."
"Well, this time, there was," Phastos muttered darkly, back to spying. He glared as Jack laughed and Gil patted his shoulder. Phastos turned back to Ben, "he knows I'm his dad, right? We can help him with this stuff!"
"Phastos," his husband chided instead of comforted, back to rubbing his back. "This is what it's like for kids to have uncles and aunts. They get to enjoy their company in a way that's different from ours."
"You go ask," Phastos prompted, shoving Thena away from him and in the direction of the kitchen. She glowered at him for it.
"Ask what?" she seethed at him, raising her fist to punch him in return.
Ben slid in between them again, again trying to mediate their typical family squabbles. "Who the cookies are for. He wouldn't tell when Phastos asked."
"Hm," Thena blinked, but accepted conditions. She turned away from Ben and lowered her fist, "Jack?"
Phastos kissed Ben's temple, "good save."
"Aunt Thena, you're up!" he turned in his chair, getting up on his knees and leaning against the back of it to beam at her. "Did you have a nice sleep?"
"It was lovely," she smiled down at her precious human nephew. She tilted her head, admiring the bounty behind him. "You have been making confections."
"Uncle Gil!"
"It's okay buddy, it wasn't like we were gonna be able to keep 'em secret for long," Gil chuckled as he stood from his chair. He wrapped his arm around Thena's waist, pressing his forehead to hers. "Get some rest?"
"I did," she promised her own partner and husband as he leaned in for a kiss.
"Ahem!!!"
Both Eternals parted, glaring at their agitated brother briefly. Thena looked down at Jack, who was nibbling on his little lip. "Who shall receive your hard work, Jack?"
"Well," the boy fidgeted, his expression shy. His fathers held hands behind his uncle and aunt, but Jack stood from the chair and took Thena's hand. He pulled gently, guiding her to sit where he had been. He turned the plate, on which he had arranged all the heart shaped cookies into one big heart shape. "They're for you, Aunt Thena."
Thena blinked at the platter of cookies. They were all frosted, with varying degrees of colour and skill. They were soft, white sugar cookies with red icing on them. "Me?"
"Of course," Phastos huffed behind them, but was shushed by Ben.
"Valentine's is kinda cringe, but it doesn't have to be for, like, love-stuff," Jack shrugged. "At least that's what they said at school. They said we could do something for our favourite person."
"My own son," Phastos continued to lament.
"So," Jack looked up at Gil, who nodded for him to keep going. "I asked Uncle Gil if he would help me make some cookies for you. But I cracked the eggs perfect! And I decorated all of these ones."
Thena smiled, picking up one of the more grotesque, early experiments. She took a bite, smiling as she chewed the soft, buttery cookie. "They're perfect."
"Really?" Jack lit up.
"Partake in your spoils," she said as she handed him one. "Thank you, Jack. I daresay you are my favourite as well."
"Hey Jack," Phastos inched forward as his son wolfed down one of his own cookies. "Are any of those for your old man, maybe?"
Jack just stared. "You can ask Aunt Thena."
Phastos glared at her , though. "T, remember-"
"Ben may have some."
"Oh, come on!"
Gilgamesh stood aside, laughing at Thena's innate desire to be petty with their brother. He slapped the back of Phastos' shoulder as Ben did sneak in to steal one for himself. "I mean you should've seen that coming, man."
"You guys are married," Jack gesticulated, pointing at the two couples in front of him respectively. "You got each other stuff for today, right? You don't need me to do anything."
Phastos continued to pout about how his own child made his sister cookies but none for him. But Ben smiled, "that's right, we did get each other gifts for today. It was very nice of you to make something for your Aunt Thena, Jack."
Thena moved from the chair to let Jack sit again, "but I shall need help eating all these. Jack, if you would be so kind...?"
"Sure!" It didn't take much to convince him.
Ben led Phastos into the living room to nurse his wounds, while Gil pulled Thena to his side again, further up the table. She sighed as he pressed his lips to her cheek, "is this what you did all afternoon?"
"Yep," Gil whispered. "I think he waited for you to have a nap so he could surprise you."
"It's rather sweet," she smiled at the image of her nephew enjoying a few more cookies. She looked down at this plate, decorated significantly differently. "And these?"
"For you," her lover confirmed, holding one up to display the meticulous design he'd made. "It's Australia!"
It looked like a smear of dirt in a sea of blue.
"Don't worry, I made my own preparations for today," he whispered before nipping at her ear, promising fun more than just some cookies.
"Hm," Thena purred, allowing him to kiss behind her ear and down her neck in their small window of privacy. "You do love this particular occasion."
"Damn right I do," he said against the soft skin of her shoulder, just inside the collar of her dress. "An excuse to lavish my wife with gifts and attention? And make love like wild animals-"
"AHEM!!!"
Gil sighed as he pulled away from her to also glare at Phastos, "what, dude?--don't you also have lavishing to do?"
"Not in the kitchen I don't," Phastos snapped with his hands on his hips. "None of us are having a romantic time until 9 o'clock anyway."
That was Jack's bed time.
"So we're gonna go out for a nice family dinner instead," he declared firmly, as if it were a mission order, and not an invitation to a nice restaurant. He slapped his coat over his arm, "and you two are gonna behave!"
"We always behave," Gil rolled his eyes, following Phastos into the living room and front hall to also retrieve his and Thena's coats.
"Nuh-uh, no, I mean it Gil," Phastos snapped in his brother's face as they both glared at each other amidst helping their partners into their own coats. "No ooey-gooey eyes, no playing footsies under the table, no sneakin' off to the bathroom."
"What if he has to go?" Jack asked much more innocently as he retrieved his own coat. He smiled as Thena held it out for him the same way Gil had done for her.
"That's not-" Phastos sighed, rubbing his eyes under his glasses. "Okay, never mind, family dinner, let's go."
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daenystheedreamer · 1 year
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What about Edmure "My people; they were afraid" Tully? /hj
DOWN WITH NOBLESSE OBLIGE!!!
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arlome · 2 years
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I am all agony, no hope.
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unicyclehippo · 2 years
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i am once again recommending people read “green rider” by kristen britain. are u a horse girl? have u ever been a horse girl? do u think that young women who get kicked out of school for starting (& WINNING) a fight ought to get special magic powers & trauma? this is the book for u
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emirrart · 7 months
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im so sorry girlies i literally cannot take anything about astarion seriously, i need him put in a blender immediately
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safyresky · 9 months
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OH YEAH ALMOST FORGOT WE GOT OUR FULL WEDDING GALLERY PLZ ENJOY A SELECTION OF MY FAVE PHOTOS
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I call this assortment "the reason my dentist once called me animated"
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zaddyazula · 4 months
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not even funny how hard i was crying yesterday like jesus christ
#honestly might be the hardest i’ve cried (at least in a very long time)#like i was a MESS#and what was it at???#jjk spoilers#jjk season 2 spoilers#NANAMI. AND MAKI. AND MEGUMI AND TOJI.#i was crying for like 4 episodes straight or something and then toji decided to pull that ‘not zenin? i’m glad’ EXCUSE ME SIR#also like toji’s alright he’s not my favourite but OH MY GOD and his eyes changed 😭😭😭😭😭#i’d just finished crying over nanami getting barbecued and then i was off again#i got spoiled for him dying on tiktok spoilers are basically inescapable but oh my god#in the scene where miwa is crying over mechamaru like hands crossed in her chest leaning over that was actually me#i literally had my head parallel to my bed and my arms crossed to my chest like i can’t get communion or some shit 😭😭😭😭#and i had to keep turning my head to look at my tv and just kept sobbing#because by the time he actually died i’d stopped crying because it had been like 5 episodes or something but i was sobbing#and it caught me so off guard when jogo got them i was literally staring at the screen going ‘WHAT?’ before i started crying my eyes out#the pipeline my camera roll goes through its pictures of nanami from like the first episodes of the season and then it’s me crying 😭😭😭😭#i felt so ill about it all i literally couldn’t finish my dinner i ate like a birdseye chicken fillet and then had to give up#also keep in mind i dedicated my entire day to jjk like i watched the movie and then watched all of season 2 in like 9 and a half hours#so when nobara died i was so exhausted i couldn’t even cry i just sort of went ‘you what’ at the screen and had to sit there in pain#but it was so so good all the same like damn#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk season 2#zad talks
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elmaestrostan · 5 months
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My friend got me a copy of the programme from Unai’s first game in charge and the Villa annual 😭🥰
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zincbotted · 7 months
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if i ever drew my homestuck kids headcanons it would all be over for me
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rizardofether · 7 months
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My playthrough with my deep gnome wizard Davlen has been rough. Not only has it been really glitchy, he has had terrible luck, not to mention generally how terribly things go in the story itself
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Only barely rolled high enough to save Shadowheart
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Learned that if you don't indulge Astarion and go check out the bushes, he fucking tackles you to the ground. Davlen managed to roll high enough dex to get away at least
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His icon is just gone most of the time
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Now, this one's not a glitch and more just slow loading issue but it looks so funny
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He also completely beefed it at noticing he was being robbed. It took me a second time for him to actually notice he was robbed, though he didn't notice the robbing itself.
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This then led to my clip of the endless Mol cycle where Mol kept talking to me and I couldn't escape. I had to reload my previous save. Which was inbetween my first and second robbing.
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This time Davlen noticed he was being robbed, finally catching the thief red handed. But still clueless that he had already been robbed, which led to this line. It sure was interesting to see cause so far my characters had caught being stolen from before anything was taken.
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They gave me this pickpocket's bag and money. They stole my camp supplies sack though. So I guess that's gone for forever now.
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why did i just find out abt these songs and they were released in 2020??? yk i feel like a racoon that’s gone thru abt 50 dumpsters and failed to find food for its family but on the 51st dumpster they find a whole happy meal like thats how i feel rn like thats the exact feeling and vibe
like i cant choose a favourite they all fit in their own genres and moods and my god i would do anything for mammon. he is the moment. my pronouns are they/ and not them because i can never be them
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I love that while Buck is trying to make himself out to be captain or boss material Eddie is just so tired of him lmao
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autisticbillpotts · 1 year
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I have never been as surrounded by straight women as I was at the concert tonight. incredibly threatening atmosphere.
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