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#the boyz fanfiction
hcuyk · 13 days
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OUR INFERNO | CHAPTER ONE
SYNOPSIS ✧ despite being your greatest archnemesis/rival/enemy/frenemy/whateverthefuck he was, hyunjae had always been by your side. that changed when your boyfriend was brought up, creating a newfound rift in your whateverthefuck relationship with hyunjae
PAIRING ✧ rival!hyunjae x fem!reader
GENRE ✧ high school au, enemies to fwb, angst, smut, fluff(?), humor(?) (these mfs bicker a lot), pining
WARNINGS ✧ 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT — cheating, profanity, mentions of physical fight/bruises, underaged drinking, obsessive/possessive hyunjae : NSFW TAGS :  outdoor/semipublic sex, dubcon recording, spit/drool/tears, oral and fingering (fem receiving), penetration, scratching/ripping, humping, minimal praise, degradation, sub!hyunjae for 0.002 seconds, petnames (princess, good girl, babe/baby, slut)
WORD COUNT ✧ 19k
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⋮≡ [ OUR INFERNO EXCLUSIVE ] @deoboyznet @flwoie @sanaxo-o — fill out the form or comment/send an ask/dm to be added!
. . . . . . OUR INFERNO M.LIST ✩ next [ TWO ]
⋮≡ [ PERMANENT TAGLIST ] @armysantiny @stealanity @zzoguri @nyujjan @tinisprout @the-kpop-simp @sunwoosberrie @winterchimez — fill out the form or comment/send an ask/dm to be added!
THE BOYZ MASTERLIST | NAVIGATION
AUTHOR'S NOTE : in honor of my three years of officially stanning the boyz on this very day, let's celebrate with my smut debut and writing comeback 😋 enjoy my loves
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PART ONE: CHASING THE SPARK (THE FIRE TETRAHEDRON) — fuel, oxygen, and heat | CHAPTER ONE
“Genuine question.”
“Shoot.”
“Who the fuck does Hyunjae actually think he is?”
Unphased by your up-and-coming rage rant, Kevin resumed snacking on the protein bar he had brought with him. He tossed his free arm over the camera equipment and backpacks sitting next to him on the bench, watching you stride back and forth within one of the many hallways in the recreational center. 
“Well, he is your boss.”
“No, he’s the student executive producer,” you corrected, your legs unwavering as you kept a consistent pace to release your frustrations. Kevin shrugged and tossed one leg over the other, staying relaxed despite the hot fumes emanating from your upright and angered figure. You paused momentarily to look him in the eye. 
“Emphasis on the student,” you clarified.
“Emphasis on the executive, Y/N.”
Baffled at how he was defending your greatest archnemesis (well, more like your greatest frenemy), you ignored his rebuttal and started pacing again. Your steps slowed as you envisioned the sensations you experienced just minutes before, back when you, Kevin, and Hyunjae were at the indoor pool to report for your school’s broadcasting channel. Technically, you were the one reporting and filming while Hyunjae was the subject of interest, and Kevin was there for physical support. 
Chills latched onto your skin as you remembered what it felt like to have Hyunjae’s bare torso looming over you, his eyes peering over your shoulder to glance at your footage. While staring at the camera, his gentle, irregular breaths would continuously hit your skin. Water from the pool would trickle down his hair and into your shirt, reaching your backside. When it happened, you could barely comprehend Hyunjae’s ‘advice’ and instead focused on feeling every cold droplet travel through the crevasses created by your spine. You winced at the thought of that happening again, yet somehow you could still hear his irritating voice near your ear, telling you all the reasons why your B-roll of his lap swimming was ‘trash’ and ‘unusable.’
For a moment, you stood there in the hallway frozen, unsure of how to move, before realizing you were just reliving a moment from earlier and that Hyunjae was still in the locker room changing.
“I’m going to make a complaint,” you declared, turning back towards Kevin for his encouragement. Alternatively, you were met with the sight of your best friend completely failing to conceal his judgment and disapproval towards your suggestion.
“Against Hyunjae? You gotta be kidding, right?”
“Yes,” you answered confidently. “Wait, I mean no, I’m not kidding, but yes, against Hyunjae.”
Kevin eyed you skeptically, trying to decipher why you felt threatened enough to report someone like Hyunjae. You may not have spent all your previous years in high school with an affinity for Hyunjae, but it wasn’t like you hated him either—not in the way you truly loathed others. If that were the case, you wouldn’t spend nearly every day with him, bickering until the sun chose to set.
“Sure, maybe my B-roll was trash, I can attest to that, but that does not give his bitchass the right to not only shit on how ‘awful’ I was doing, but also yank the camera out of my hands and delete all the footage I got because they weren’t ‘perfect enough.’ What kind of psycho is that?” You glanced over at Kevin, trying once again to get him to back you up, but the most he gave was a slight nod. Everything you were spurting was half-mindedly being decoded because he had ended up placing more significance on inhaling protein. Regardless, you continued.
“And you would think, hey! As the student executive producer of a high school broadcasting team, he would understand that no! I indeed do not record half-naked people swimming in a pool, whether it be for a career or a hobby. He should also at least have the decency to not swim seven hundred miles per minute while I’m recording. Of course I’m not going to catch up, especially when he barely told me how he wanted things to be recorded? Isn’t he fucking insane for that? Not to mention all the goddamn splashing because of how fucking long his limbs are—”
“You’re explaining this like I didn’t witness the whole exchange,” Kevin grumbled.
“And you would think he knows, right? That Mr. Executive-slash-Captain-of-the-Swim-Team should either be more considerate when, A, he’s kicking water in my direction when he’s swimming or, B, station me away from the edge of the pool? Just a thought, but fuck me, I guess.”
“Well yeah, but the—”
“Also! Not to mention the camera has the fucking ability to zoom in, so why was there even a need for me to stand by the pool anyway?” You scoffed at the absurdity, almost tempted to cackle like a villain because of it. “The least he could do was tell me how to record it or find a way to adjust and compromise without occasionally soaking me with water on purpose, which I know damn well he was—”
“That’s just how-”
“We have a tripod, for god’s sake!” you exclaimed. By now, Kevin had given up on providing you with his input. He opted to rest against the wall, finishing up whatever he had left of the protein bar, and occasionally would roll his eyes.
“But even then, who the fuck wants to see him swim anyway? We’ll probably only need like…what? A minute of the footage for the B-roll? So why the hell is he treating it like it’s about to be nominated by the goddamn Oscars for Best Picture? He just loves to nitpick and control me like a fucking puppet—”
“Keep talking and you’ll potentially strain your throat,” a new voice interrupted.
You jerked around to find Hyunjae, the culprit of your rant, exiting the locker room with a small duffle bag that contained both his swim gear and his school clothes from earlier in the day. His brown hair was only halfway dry, some strands still stuck to his forehead as he approached where you were pacing.
You halted in your path and stared him down. Hyunjae immediately caught onto the mood you were in, and instead of being shocked or hurt, he grinned.
“You.” 
Your attempt at threatening him with one word made Hyunjae laugh.
“Hey, I’m just looking out for you.”
“Oh here we go again,” Kevin mumbled, tossing the wrapper of the protein bar to the side. He pulled out his phone and went on TikTok, deciding it was more worthy of his attention than listening to you two banter—something he had been experiencing for well over five years.
As a mutual friend of yours and Hyunjae’s since middle school, Kevin understood the frenemy dynamic better than either of you. Eventually, over the long years he had known you both, he learned to leave you two be. 
“What about me, though? Are you going to try and tattletale on me?” Hyunjae feigned sympathy as he gave you an exaggerated pout, tilting his head like a puppy’s. “C’mon. I’m just doing my job.”
“Sorry, but I don’t remember ‘being a dick’ being listed under the requirements for your oh-so-important position of power.” You huffed at him and crossed your arms, choosing to face elsewhere as you rooted the soles of your feet to the ground.
Hyunjae furrowed his brows, his eyes never leaving you, as he addressed the third party within the shared space.
“Kevin, was I being a dick, or is Y/N exaggerating?”
Kevin glanced up at his phone and scrunched his nose at Hyunjae in annoyance.
“Don’t even try to bring me into whatever…this mess is.”
“No, tell him,” you demanded, now looking at him. Your glare was enough to burn Kevin into ashes, but it was nothing compared to Hyunjae’s gaze piercing into your back. Knowing that he never looked away made you shiver, hating how fixated he seemed to be—and seemingly without reason too.
“Listen, I wasn’t being a dick. I was treating you the same way I treat everyone else. I’d honestly argue that you’re just narcissistic and think everything is about you when—”
“Oh wow, thank you for admitting that you’re a dick to everyone else!” You tossed your hands up for dramatic appeal as you spun back around to look at him. He scoffed, but his demeanor was quickly shadowed by a smirk that appeared on his lips, testing you with the arch of his brow.
“Oh really? Do you see anyone else complaining?”
“I’m complaining,” Kevin muttered.
“People don’t complain because they’re scared of you, Sherlock,” you retorted. At this point, Hyunjae had already caught onto your bullshit of making evidence up, and it was why this exchange ended up lasting for as long as it did. Nevertheless, his ego continued to build the more you spoke.
“You’re not scared of me?”
And you keep falling for the bait.
“Why should I? You’re nothing.” You approached him and pressed a finger into his chest, taunting him as you stared straight into his eyes.
Suddenly a competition seemed to have materialized because now you both were locking eyes, too stubborn to look away. 
“One day you’ll wake up and realize your position doesn’t mean shit. You take it too seriously and make everyone’s job your job when this should be a learning experience for the rest of us.”
“And who exactly is ‘us,’ babe?”
You narrowed your eyes at him.
“Don’t call me that–”
“And it’s also starting to sound like jealousy to me.” Hyunjae’s eyes finally shifted, but instead of looking away from you like you initially wanted him to, you trailed his line of sight down to your lips. He eyed them shamelessly—technically making you win the unspoken eye contact competition, but at what cost? “I won’t believe you until I receive firm evidence and testimonies from the other students in the club, then maybe I’ll consider your concerns. Deal?”
What you despised most was how well Hyunjae knew and provoked you to get under your skin. He was a raging flame, making your blood boil from both irritation and excitement. You couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was, but after nearly six years of banter with Hyunjae, you knew damn well you enjoyed every second of it. It was like a nonstop competition, and you were always on the edge of winning.
Maybe it was also because you were so used to him constantly being above you. He was the president of the student council, the swim team’s captain, and specifically the one who snatched the executive position away from you in the broadcasting team, yet somehow you were still able to compete at his level of arrogance and egotism. 
Even though you may never be able to top him in the foreseeable future, you at least knew how to match his fury—his fire, with your own.
“You’re pathetic.” You took a few steps back to gain some distance while his eyes flickered back up to yours. He bit his lip playfully, his smile only growing even wider.
“Woah, Y/N. Exposing my degradation kink so soon?”
“I-...you- w-what?!” you sputtered, your jaw falling slack as Kevin’s head snapped up, staring at the two of you in disgust.
“Get a room—!”
“I’m going to make sure you get degraded from your position, you freak!”
“Not exactly how that word works, princess, but I’m glad you’re at least passionate.” His cooing made you want to slap the living shit out of him, your eyes protruding from their sockets are you glared. 
“Are you fucking bricked up or something right now—?”
“Hey guys,” a woman’s voice called out. Your heads turned to look at the end of the hallway, catching one of the recreational center’s workers waving in your general direction. She pressed her lips together and smiled, attempting to be as professional and understanding as possible. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but is it okay if you guys turn it down a notch?”
You and Hyunjae both nodded and whispered apologies, feeling like kids who just got scolded for shoving paintbrushes down the drain. Fortunately, the worker’s smile radiated genuine warmth and consideration, providing you some sort of reassurance that you guys weren’t too much of a disturbance (even though you guys totally were).
“You two are the most childish fuckers I know,” Kevin deadpanned, finally shoving his phone away as he switched between looking at you and the man by your side. His eyebrows bunched up.
“And apparently horny too.”
“I would move across the country if it meant I never had to see him again,” you grumbled, striding back to the pile of equipment to pick up your backpack and the bag with all your reporting necessities (boring script, stationary, and a couple of notebooks shared with all the broadcasting students to collect notes and inspiration in). 
“Hello? I’m still here.”
“Look at that. He already misses me.”
“I’m going to hurl,” Kevin unnecessarily announced, and Hyunjae’s face soured.
“Ew.”
“Exactly. That’s how you two make me feel whenever you guys are together.” Kevin got up on his feet and grabbed the wrapper to shove into one of his pockets (no littering, kids) before outstretching his limbs dramatically. 
“I swear I developed back pain from always listening to you guys bicker.”
“Or, hot take,” Hyunjae interjected, “maybe it’s because you’re always sitting with your back arching forward like it belongs in the Arches National Park–”
“Yeah yeah, shut the fuck up.” Kevin waved him off with his hand and rolled his eyes. “I came here to help carry stuff, not listen to your bullshit.”
He picked up the bag that contained the camera and passed it to Hyunjae. He offered to hold one more thing, but with only his backpack and the tripod left, Kevin didn’t see much need for his friend’s assistance. 
Kevin then faced you, his face stern and rid of emotion.
“You too, Y/N,” he stated seriously. “None of this ‘he said this,’ ‘he said that,’ ‘please fuck me’ bullshit from you either.”
You gaped at him, arms wrapped tightly around the crew’s bag.
“Now why the hell do you think—”
“Zip it.”
Without giving you much of an opportunity to continue, Kevin sped off in front of you, ready to leave the building. You couldn’t even look at Hyunjae as heat rushed to your cheeks, struggling to trail after Kevin’s speedy steps.
Despite carrying heavier items, Hyunjae caught up to you with ease. You wanted nothing more than for Hyunjae’s feet to either slow down or speed up tremendously, but of course he purposely chose to walk by your side, attached to you by the hip.
“He sees it,” Hyunjae sing-songed. “Everyone sees it.”
“Sees what?” you snorted, oblivious to what he was indicating.
“That you want me,” he replied nonchalantly.
The moment you two stepped outside the doors of the center, you stopped to face him, trying to confirm what exactly he was implying.
“You can’t be serious.”
Hyunjae, who also stopped with your steps, shrugged.
“You’re the one in denial.”
Realizing that he was serious, you felt every muscle in your body tense up.
“Hyunjae,” you stated firmly. “I have a boyfriend, remember?”
Instead of receiving something witty from Hyunjae like normal, his relaxed facial features suddenly scrambled into one that expressed remote shock. His lips were slightly parted, eyes searching yours for any hint that indicated you were lying or messing around with him, but you were serious.
The aggressive playfulness from earlier had evaporated faster than boiling water, and you watched as he became stilled. Your heart started pounding, anxiety creeping up within you due to not being able to read Hyunjae like you normally do.
“Since when?” he asked. His voice was quiet, his tone firmer, and by now, Kevin was already by his car, too far from the two of you to understand what was going on. Hell, even you could barely understand what was happening.
“Earth to Hyunjae?” you joked, nervously laughing in an attempt to eliminate the newfound tension looming in the atmosphere. “It’s always been Jiwoong, remember?”
For a moment, Hyunjae could feel his mouth drying up. All his thoughts were held captive in his throat, and his lips remained parted as if they weren’t meant to collide at all. He stared at you like you had just teleported in front of him.
“Y/N,” he stated calmly, “he cheated on you.”
Your initial response was to get defensive, claiming that you already knew that because hell, it was your relationship, but then your brain acknowledged the true elephant in the conversation.
“How-...how the hell do you know about that?”
“I- You know word just-…That doesn’t matter. What matters is why in the world—”
“It was a mistake, okay?”
“A mistake?” As Hyunjae’s brows raised, so did his tone. “You know, people—decent people, don’t make mistakes like that.” 
Seeing how Hyunjae was gritting his teeth, how his eyes were locked on yours, built up a foreign frustration within you. Something about the way Hyunjae was behaving felt like he was trying to control you. 
All the rage from before had now returned, yet this time, there was no more leniency from you—not when Hyunjae was being more condescending than he had ever been.
“You know nothing, Hyunjae, so frankly, I really don’t care about what you think about my relationship with my boy-”
“You’re still with him??”
“Look,” you snapped. “Just because you have the luxury of crushing my hopes and dreams on a daily basis, it does not give you the right to dictate what’s wrong or right about my love life and my decisions. Understood?”
And just like how you always are, Hyunjae refused to shut up.
“How is it dictating when it’s common sense to dump a shitty person?” He dropped the bags onto the ground, and not once did he look away from you. “He’s never treated you well either, and you know that—”
“It’s not your decision to make,” you repeated. You could feel the three key elements of creating a fire stir up within you. You had the fuel, the oxygen, and the heat, and Hyunjae was the chemical chain reaction that would set it off. “How dense can you fucking be to not back down?”
“He cheated on you,” he reasserted, and there was a rage in his eyes that you had never once encountered. “He’s done so many shitty things, and he hasn’t changed–”
“Again, none of your fucking business–”
“And I’m pretty sure I saw—”
“I am not going to repeat myself-”
“Can’t you just listen to what I-”
“Drop it.” You were seconds away from yelling at him, ready to unleash all your anger because never once has someone threatened your love life—Jiwoong, the man you considered your soulmate. Your flame had officially engulfed his, and all Hyunjae could do was stare at you in disbelief and disappointment.
Turning to look away, you gazed up into the sky and scoffed, not understanding why tears had begun to pool up in your eyes. At the end of the day, Hyunjae meant nothing to you—you didn’t even consider him a friend.
After moments of experiencing what it was like to be suffocated by a tension so unbearable, you eventually found a way to ground yourself. 
“I can’t blame him, you know,” you whispered, using the back of your hand to wipe away your tears. “We were angry. He just–...he needed an outlet, and at that time, that outlet happened to not be me, okay?”
Hyunjae stared at you, his mouth desperate to say something, anything, to make you see what he sees—a relationship that isn’t meant to be. That you didn’t deserve to be treated this way. Maybe you were no more than an acquaintance to him, but he knew you have always deserved better. 
“He isn’t someone worth fighting for.”
“And that’s none of your business,” you scowled.
“It isn’t right—”
“Stay in your fucking lane, Jae.”
Hyunjae clamped his mouth shut, and the sight of you completely breaking down tore him apart. Possibly it was all the years you spent together growing up, constantly arguing, yet he knew he was always one to look out for you.
You sucked in a cheek, gnawing at it as your chest urged for you to forgive him, to apologize for lashing out without much notice, but in the end, you prioritized your pride over him.
Not only was Hyunjae’s persistence a stab to your heart, but you suspected that Kevin was the one who told him. By spilling your secrets, it was as if Kevin saw the knife that impaled you and yanked it out of your chest, causing you to bleed to your death.
“I’m done with this conversation,” you muttered, dropping the bag in your arms to the ground by his feet. Your plans had changed to you walking home alone, wanting nothing to do with the other two boys for the next hour or so.
When you turned around to walk away, you knew Hyunjae was going to try and say something. You knew him best whenever he was at his worst, so you spun around to face him for the last time that day to cut him off.
“Never fucking cross that line with me again, got it?”
And with that, you left. 
//
Kevin apologized to you the morning after.
He normally drove you to school, and you debated getting into his car when he showed up. Thankfully you chose to do otherwise because the second you stepped inside, Kevin was apologizing profusely. He talked about how anxious he was all night when Hyunjae told him what happened, and he wouldn’t have known what to do if you didn’t forgive him. Obviously you did, and the rest of the car ride was spent with him explaining his side of the story.
According to Kevin, he only told Hyunjae about how you got cheated on because it seemed like Hyunjae already knew. As Kevin recalled the whole scene, you two assessed the signs, such as how Hyunjae didn’t provide any sort of reaction when Kevin dropped the news. In fact, it had seemed like Hyunjae had brought it up to Kevin instead.
Regardless, it became the last of your worries because all that mattered was that you were back to being on good terms with your best friend.
But avoiding Hyunjae felt like lighting a match in the rain. 
It was your agonizing reality for the next two months, and although you could argue that you had gotten closer to your boyfriend during the supposed ‘Hyunjae Drought,’ you were still plagued with him being everywhere around you.
He was in all your classes, and you never truly processed the extent of how involved Hyunjae had always been throughout high school with you. You weren’t on the swim team, but you were stuck with him during meetings for both the broadcasting team and student council. 
Yet it all felt so different.
Unless he was called on, Hyunjae would talk much less unprovoked and would never look at you during meetings. When he would address the entire team, he would glance at you for a split second before looking elsewhere, no longer watching you like a hawk.
You had also gotten quieter because without Hyunjae to banter with, you recognized that you barely had friends in any of those classes either. 
There was no longer a fight between your flames, and you two kept as much distance as possible. You were thankful that there hadn’t been an instance that interrupted that, such as being forced to record more B-roll with him, and you could only hope that the rest of your senior year would remain the same. 
Then you would never have to see him in college.
Now you were back to being the mediocre student that faded into the background. People knew your name at best, but none have ever tried to become your friend aside from Kevin. No matter how involved you tried to get, the closest you were to anyone was a classmate. 
Hyunjae had always overshadowed you too, and for the first time in years, you were detached from his fumes—yet somehow, some way, the smoke from his fire would remain in your lungs, continuing to suffocate you even more than it had before. It didn’t give you that breath of fresh air of new friends or a better life; instead, it helped you realize that you didn’t matter. It was a miracle that you even scored Jiwoong as your boyfriend.
But then that begged the question: why did Hyunjae bother spending his time ridiculing you?
From the very beginning, you had always meant something to him, and you couldn’t pinpoint how or why. When there was no competition in academics, he treated it as if there was. Every time you ranted, he would listen, whether it be about him or something else. Even when you talked about how your chicken from the cafeteria was burnt, he would give you his own before calling you stupid for not noticing until you sat down.
He never shrugged you off like you were nothing or shut you down because your emotions were invalid. He entertained you each time with ease, and most importantly, he knew when to respect your boundaries. Hyunjae was probably the most mindful person you knew and could often tell when you were distressed or needed another form of reaction from him.
He knew when to stop.
Yet when it came to the one instance involving Jiwoong, he crossed the line multiple times. Why?
“Hyunjae isn’t here today.”
“Huh?”
“Didn’t show up for a single class.”
Kevin watched you play with your food with a fork, rolling the cold, barely spherical peas around and into the stale rice.
“That’s not like him,” he replied.
“Yeah.”
“I wonder why.”
“I wonder too.” 
After the driest possible conversation in existence, you sighed and dropped your fork into your tray.
“I need to stop forgetting to pack myself lunch. This shit makes me lose my appetite, I swear. We should call the police and tell them the food they’re serving is illegal and a disgrace to this country.” 
“Keep it away before I lose my appetite too.” 
You didn’t react nor respond to what Kevin said, letting the conversation rot as you pouted at your food. The cafeteria was unusually louder today, making it easier to space out into thought.
Kevin took out his sandwich with a wide grin and started eating, grateful he never had to deal with what the school was feeding thanks to his mom, but eventually his eyes shifted over to you. You were unmoving with your gaze locked onto an empty spot on the table, so after moments of debating between asking you what’s wrong and ignoring you to devour his lunch, he opted to set his sandwich aside and stared straight at you.
“Why are you thinking about him?”
That was enough to garner your attention, your head snapping up to stare at your best friend like he was the craziest person you knew for mentioning Hyunjae, much less suggesting that your mind was wrapped around him.
“What?”
“Hyunjae. With his perfect attendance, a day without him should be a blessing, yet you brought up how he didn’t show up today and then moped harder than anyone I’ve ever seen mope. You should be over the moon, dancing on the tables and stealing people’s food, not-...” Kevin waved a finger at you, “whatever this is. You seem out of it.”
“Well it’s not because of Hyunjae, I’ll tell you that,” you snorted. Your eyes fell back down to your tray, and the more you looked at it, the more nauseous you got. You scrunched your nose. “If anything, it’s probably because of this shit food.”
Kevin rolled his eyes before tearing his sandwich into halves. You perked at the sight and ogled the half Kevin taunted you with. You were about to thank him and take it into your possession before Kevin jerked back his arm, making you whine.
“Throw away your food, then I’ll give you it.”
“Fine,” you grumbled. As Kevin returned to his delicious, most scrumptious, packed lunch you had ever seen, you picked up your tray and walked it to the nearest trash can. As you dropped the whole thing inside, you heard your name being called.
“Y/N!”
You whipped around to check to see who it was and smiled at the sight of Eunseo waving at you. You wouldn’t consider her a good friend, but you knew her well enough since she was the vice president of the student council.
She ran over to you with a stack of paper in her arms, relieved to have caught you. 
“Y/N, hi! I’m so glad I found you. I was scared I wouldn’t because of how packed it is.”
She flashed you her usual glowing smile, and you noticed that she was a bit more giddy than usual, making you question why she was choosing to talk to you in the first place. All your conversations normally took place before, during, and after student council meetings, so this was slightly out of character.
“What’s up?” you asked. As you looked at her, you noticed how her outfit was slightly more put together than it normally was. She had on a cute top that suited her chest perfectly and a skirt that you had never seen her wear. 
“Your outfit’s really cute today.”
“Really?!” Her bright demeanor then faded into concern. “Wait, is it too noticeable or out of the blue? Is it bad?”
“No, no. Not at all!” you reassured. “It’s just the right amount of perfect.”
“Great! God, that means the world coming from you. It’s because!...” She stopped to glance around, making sure that no one was eavesdropping, before taking a step closer to whisper. “It’s because I was finally asked out on a date by my crush!”
She could barely contain her excitement, holding back a squeal with her bottom lip latched between her teeth. Her sunshine-like energy made you grin.
“That’s great! I’m glad you’re making progress.” Your eyebrows pinched as you tried to recall the last time Eunseo had updated you about her crush. “You’ve been pining after him for so long—whoever ‘him’ is, anyway.”
The question of who Eunseo liked had always gone unanswered. She never told anyone, not even the ones who knew her best, but she loved gushing about her mystery crush to everyone she knew. All people really knew, you included, was how down bad she was.
A part of you wondered if it was someone you knew—someone pretty like Juyeon or well-known like…Hyunjae.
“Oh, I wish I could tell you, and maybe I will if things go really well and we become official!” She squealed and hopped in her spot, unable to resist giving you a half-hug with her free arm. “This is so exciting, Y/N!”
“I’m really happy for you.” Your smile was genuine until you thought about why she was looking for you, starting to doubt that she called you over just so she could tell you about her date. 
“I’ll let you know how it goes, swear. But! That aside, I also have something for you.”
You knew it.
Your brows raised, and when you didn’t catch on, she gestured to the papers in her arms with guilt.
“I know this is kind of a dick move, and I’m really really sorry, but I promised to put up fliers for prom today. My date is right after my last class.” Her frown had deepened, and for a split second, you found yourself sympathizing with her because who wanted to let down such a cheerful personality, especially when this was life-changing for her?
“So you want me to do it?”
“Exactly! Please, that would be great. It shouldn’t take too long, too.”
You thought about how you would have to give up an evening of playing on your switch or extra time to study for an upcoming exam, but you knew it was your duty as secretary to help out whenever needed.
Not to mention that it would also make you a decent friend not to hold Eunseo back from her soon-to-be love life despite her poor date planning. If you were in her shoes, you would have wanted her to do the same for you too.
“Sure,” you accepted. “Why not?”
“You’re the best, seriously!” She handed you the fliers as she began to fill you in on the extra details.
“I already told Mr. Barajas that I wasn’t feeling well and that you were going to do it, so he said it all worked out and to not worry about it,” she rambled, happy to give the extra weight (both literally and metaphorically) to you. “I just printed these out, so everything should be perfect to go. Oh, and don’t worry about any extras! Just set them on Barajas’s desk when you’re finished. Hyunjae will also be in 142 with tape ready for you.”
The mention of the forbidden name nearly made every cell in your body halt. 
“What?”
Eunseo tilted her head at you, confused, before finally realizing.
“Oh crap, I forgot! I’m so sorry, I really did forget you guys weren’t on good terms. I hope it’s okay that he’s helping you out. I mean, he’s supposed to, but it was meant for him and me to do it together, not you two, so…God, I’m really sorry Y/N.”
Before you could even react to the newfound information, she continued.
“I really have to go now. Thank you again! I promise I’ll make it up to you!” And with her rosy pink cheeks and a stunning shade of red on her lips, she basically skipped away and waved goodbye to you with a smile, so you reciprocated it with an awkward one of your own. 
When she turned her back, your smile immediately dropped and you sighed heavily.
“Have fun on your date,” you mumbled, your eyes falling to fliers in your arms. As you skimmed the one on top, you noticed it was to promote going to prom while also including a big QR code to vote for who should be your school’s prom king and queen. You expected it since it was the last meeting’s topic of discussion, but what you weren’t aware of was who were listed as nominees.
There were eight names listed under ‘Prom Court,’ and while you expected Hyunjae’s, Eunseo’s, and your boyfriend’s names on it, your jaw nearly hit the ground at the sight of your own. 
//
With every passing class period, your anxiety would kick up a notch.
The dread of talking to the face you had been avoiding for two months engulfed you, and it caused you to develop the urge to ditch your current class to go hunt for Jacob, the student council’s historian. You wanted nothing more than to dump the stack of fliers into his arms, and knowing Jacob, he wouldn’t ask any questions. Hell, you were certain that if you asked him nicely, he would do it for you because of how naturally sweet and endearing he was.
But the guilt of ditching your secretary duties kept picking at your skin, and besides, all you had to do was treat Hyunjae like a colleague. That should be easy, right?
As you suffered through the last few minutes of class and your teacher’s incessant ramblings about the upcoming exam, your thoughts drifted over to what would happen the moment you stepped into room 142.
Hyunjae hadn’t shown up to a single class all day, yet he was expected to set up fliers after school. As your thoughts snowballed, you arrived at the baseless conclusion that maybe Eunseo wasn’t aware that Hyunjae was absent today, therefore someone else (like Jacob) would take over. 
Suddenly, your back had straightened with feigned interest in your teacher’s last few words. Something about Jacob being there instead of Hyunjae had excited you; it felt like you were free and that the universe was listening to your prayers. The gamble of seeing whether it would be Hyunjae or Jacob (or literally anyone else) had your right leg bouncing, eyes on the clock, and when the bell rang, you shot up from your seat, backpack over your shoulders and fliers in your arms, before dashing out of the classroom.
You sped down the hallway to 142, Mrs. Zhang’s room for Chemistry, bug-eyed, before having your delusions crushed at the sight of Hyunjae’s stupidly large height leaning against one of the counters. Your feet stood glued to the ground by the doorway, your eyes locked onto him. 
Covered from head to toe in sweats, Hyunjae was immersed in whatever was on his phone, scrolling through something as his brown curls peeked out from inside his hood. Without any hint of him acknowledging your presence, your shattered hopes slowly began to rebuild.
Maybe if you were quiet enough, you could sneak out with the tape and do everything on your own, avoiding him at all. Actually, scratch that. You didn’t even need the tape. All you had to do was go to another teacher’s room, steal their tape for half an hour, and then return it with ease.
The plan was effortless, and you mentally smacked your forehead for not thinking of it earlier. Right as you were about to execute it, your backpack slammed against the doorframe as you turned on your heels. 
“Nice try.”
You groaned out of embarrassment (and slight pain) and forced yourself to turn around. Hyunjae’s phone was now face down on the counter, and his arms were crossed over his abdomen. His face remained stoic as his eyes met yours, wielding a tension you didn’t recognize.
Now that you could properly look at him, you noticed a few details that you hadn’t before, such as the small tear on his lower lip and the bandaid on his cheekbone. If you looked long enough, you could catch light patches of purple across his skin, and the sight hindered all your thoughts, your brain too occupied with piecing together how he ended up like this. 
“What happened?” you blurted, your gaze shooting up from his lips to his eyes.
Hyunjae staggered at your suddenty, but he managed to keep himself stilled, his brows pinching. 
“What do you mean?”
Even if Hyunjae didn’t mean to, his question became an invitation for your unfiltered thoughts to spill out of your mouth.
“You didn’t show up for any of our classes today,” you began, “but now you’re here? For some stupid fliers? You’re barely dressed properly like you normally are, your hair isn’t straightened, you look pale, Jae, and what’s up with the bruises or the bandaid on your cheek–”
“Are you seriously psychoanalyzing me?” he asked with a scoff. There was no humor in his tone. Instead, it looked as if he was irritated, perhaps even more than you were. 
Hyunjae barely met your eyes, and his arms closed himself off from you. 
“What–?”
“You’re evaluating me like I’m some sort of lab project, Y/N.”
“No, no I’m not,” you rejected. “I’m just saying things are a little off.” You kept your eyes firm on his, even as he pushed himself off the counter with his phone and made his way over to you. “And you know, you really can’t blame me for being somewhat worried when one, you don’t show up, and two, you look like a whole mess—”
“Just hand over the fliers—” he interrupted, gritting his teeth as he outstretched his arm in your direction. You dodged him by turning your body 180 degrees and stood your ground.
“What happened?” you repeated, this time more firmly.
Hyunjae looked at you, a blank expression on his face, before turning back around to grab the roll of tape left on the teacher’s desk. When he returned, he shoved it into your arms while simultaneously stealing half the stack. You protested with an exclaimed ‘Hey!’ yet he didn’t bat an eye and skimmed over the contents of the flier on top.
Bothered by his lack of response, you frowned and made sure to block the doorway, refusing to let him leave until you received answers.
“Why are you acting like this? Pretending that I’m not even—”
“I’ll do upstairs, you do downstairs,” he muttered.
“Did you get into a fight? Why weren’t you here today? Why are you here now—”
“You’d think you’d know,” he finally answered, pushing past you like you weighed none less than a feather.
Your brain had fully malfunctioned at that point, unable to decipher what he meant as Hyunjae walked off to the nearest staircase. As his footsteps echoed down the hall, you thought about what he was implying yet came to no resolution. Did he assume that you were caught up in your school’s latest gossip? Or that you were the main admin for his biggest fan page on Instagram?
The idea made you snort, and you scowled bitterly at his childish attitude. It wasn’t like you were a complete stranger intruding on his personal life—hell, you felt like you deserved an explanation because of how you were forced to do this with him. 
As you stormed off past the remaining lingering students to the nearest bulletin board, you questioned how you were going to do this on your own. 
You had put up fliers countless times in the past few years yet never alone. Luckily, you had a general idea of where the fliers should go when it came to the school’s hallways, but as you approached your first destination, you struggled with ripping off pieces of tape while holding the stack at the same time. It would’ve been easier with a partner by your side, one who either did the tape ripping or placing of the fliers, but you weren’t desperate enough to fall into the role of a helpless princess in need of her pretty (useless) prince. 
After some trial and error, you found a method that consisted of setting the stack on the ground occasionally so you could rip off pieces of tape. Then you would slap said pieces of tape onto your wrist, having them readily available as you put up a few fliers at a time.
Although slightly time-consuming, it was working well and kept you at a steady pace until you heard crashing footsteps behind you from afar. Without paying any mind to it, you bit back your curiosity in order to focus on the wall in front of you, but then you made the mistake of taking a step back, bumping into the person who was sprinting. 
You lost your balance and fell forward before catching yourself shortly after. However, the fliers had already flown out of your arms, scattering across and down the long hallway.
Ready to curse out the offender for running down the hallway, you were surprised when you saw that it was Eunseo behind you, pouring out apologies while a loopy grin was smacked onto her face.
You steadied your anger and told her it was okay, getting down onto your knees to collect all the fliers. Her ‘sorry’s could only go so far with her smeared lipstick, a dazed gaze, and her hair holding the mold to someone else’s (presumably her crush’s) hands in them, but you still excused her, knowing that she was over the moon right now.
“It’s okay, Eunseo, I promise.” You forced out a chuckle as you crawled to scavenge for the ones that flew a few feet away.
“I really didn’t mean to,” she pouted, but it was shortly followed up with bubbly giggles. “God, Y/N, can you believe this? Oh, it’s going so well! I think I love him, I do.”
“Good for you,” you grumbled, hoping that she didn’t hear it as you continued to move down the hallway, hating how far the fliers had escaped from you. You also hated how she just stood there without intent on helping you at all. 
“I have to really go now. Got volleyball practice soon, but I think I’m seeing him tomorrow too!” She waved you goodbye.
And just like that, she continued running off. 
You stared at how you were only able to collect half the mess, hating how Eunseo had somehow managed to delay you even further from being in the comfort of your bed. You were also salty at how her date was taking place at the school, wishing she could’ve dragged him around while she taped stuff up before getting dick-downed of some sort.
Deciding that she and her business weren’t worth your time, you continued to pick everything up as quickly as you could, wanting nothing more than to go home.
When you finally finished collecting every last flier, you were prepared to get back into the groove of things before feeling your phone vibrate in the side pocket of your backpack. Wondering if it was something important, you took it out and beamed at the idea of it being a new message from Jiwoong.
Dating him felt like falling in love with him all over again whenever he texted. Your heart would pound in your chest when you thought about him and explode whenever he gave you his attention and time. You were addicted to him, especially knowing that he was yours after liking him since middle school.
So to say you were disappointed was far worse than an understatement. It was from a number you hadn’t saved yet always recognized and undoubtedly remembered by heart.
Of course it was Hyunjae.
You had Hyunjae’s phone number due to previous class projects and group chats, but you had never once saved it because you thought he was undeserving of being a contact in your phone. Nonetheless, with how the years have passed and how much his number infiltrates every group chat you were in, it was only fair that your brain had unintentionally memorized all ten digits.
The message he sent consisted of him saying that he was done with the fliers, and you rolled your eyes. Even after the way he treated you earlier, he still chose to let you know and brag about how fast he was. 
You shoved your phone away vigorously, ready to return to your slapping-fliers-on-walls duty, before perking at the sound of footsteps behind you once more.
Automatically assuming it was Eunseo or another student staying after for a club or sport, you were stunned when you heard his voice. 
“You’re not even halfway yet?”
In no fucking universe are you turning around; not for him.
“Go gloat somewhere else,” you snapped. The next flier you taped up was nearly slammed onto the wall, but Hyunjae was left unphased by your sudden outburst. He stood next to you and remained quiet, even when you left to place the next flier a few feet away on the opposite wall.
When he didn’t follow, you sighed out of relief, yet somehow you couldn’t help but peek at him, eyeing his hands that were tucked into the pockets of his sweatpants. He was staring straight at the lopsided flier you had put up, and when you decided you had enough of peering at him, he was back by your side.
 “What are you doing?” you grumbled. He was the one who pushed you away, yet now here he was, glued to your side like how he was two months ago. 
“You’re taking too long.”
“I had a mishap,” you explained, “but that’s none of your concern.” The lines on your forehead bunched up, and you waved him off, bending down to place the stack on the ground. Figuring it wasn’t weird at all, you continued your method of ripping off pieces of tape and slapping it onto your wrist.
And Hyunjae was totally judging.
“You can’t be serious.”
“Just go home.”
Despite being on the ground and sitting on your heels, you could physically feel the heat on the back of your head due to his eyes burning a hole into your skull, and for a split second, you knew exactly what he was thinking.
“I can do it myself,” you explained. 
“What are you even doing?” 
“Can you just go?” You picked up the stack once again as you rose to your feet, doing your best to avoid whatever look was on Hyunjae’s face. He was probably stifling a laugh or keeping his expression smug, but when you did cave and peek, his face was still solemn, his eyes on your wrist with concern.
“You’re struggling.”
“Thank you for your observation, Mr. Obvious,” you retorted.
“Let me do it.”
Taken aback, you whipped your head over to his direction.
“You’re kidding.”
“You don’t even want to be here,” he reasoned through gritted teeth. “Just go, and you can thank me later.”
“Thank you?!” Appalled at his audacity, you couldn’t help but laugh out of disbelief. “Seriously, Hyunjae? You want me to thank you for stealing my job? Again? You can’t be fucking serious.”
“Because you can’t take any criticism ever, or in this case, any form of help, so just let me do it.”
Hyunjae was eerily calm about the whole ordeal, his energy far from matching yours.
“I do take help,” you refuted. “I just don’t take yours, and neither do I need it, too.”
“You’re so goddamn stubborn.” And within a blink of an eye, he had managed to snatch the stack of fliers from you. 
“Hey!” you yelled, feeling as if it was deja vu from earlier (you really needed to step up your defense), and reached out to take them back, but he was quick to turn his body, shielding them from you.
“Give me the tape and go,” he urged, emotionless. The Hyunjae in front of you now was someone you truly didn’t recognize because the Hyunjae you knew would have made fun of you and held the fliers above your head, teasing you for being so weak.
Yet he stood still, creating a barrier between you and the duty that was forced upon you. You didn’t want to be here anyway, yet you were so insistent on making sure Hyunjae wasn’t stealing your work again. You weren’t incapable, and you hated how he always managed to be faster.
Even now, he was miles away from being playful with you, and yet he still had a way to shove it in your face.
“Hyunjae, I swear—”
“Give me the tape, and you can run off to your little boyfriend waiting for you by the entrance.” 
Your lips parted at his words, eyes wide as you worked to comprehend his words. You questioned how he knew about Jiwoong’s whereabouts, how he knew that Jiwoong was waiting and that you didn’t, but knowing that he was serious, you reluctantly gave up and dropped the roll of tape on the ground, forcing him to pick it up. 
You were sick of constantly arguing with him, and even if he was lying about Jiwoong, at least you would be away from Hyunjae. There was no point in fighting for your dignity anymore, not when Hyunjae’s narcissism was insufferable.
By walking away with heavy and quick strides, you hoped he felt humiliated by how poorly he was treating you—how he had always treated you like this.
As much as you wanted it to be true, you hoped Hyunjae was lying just so you had more evidence against his self-absorbed and shitty personality, but alas, you found Jiwoong standing precisely where Hyunjae said he was.
Regardless, all stress and frustrations had lifted from your being, and you called out to your boyfriend with a smile that would make your cheeks ache in minutes. 
“Woong!” You waved your hands with a small bounce in your steps as you rushed over to him.
Your boyfriend’s head shot up, surprised to see you. His utter shock quickly switches to one of sheer happiness, tucking his device away before opening his arms for you.
“Hey, baby!”
You tossed yourself into his embrace, hugging him tight after pressing a quick kiss to his lips.
“What are you doing here?” With your face in his neck, your voice came out muffled, and it made Jiwoong laugh.
“Had to stay after to discuss my grades with a teacher, then I decided to stay back a bit for you.” He cooed and kissed the top of your head, holding you incredibly close. When you pulled back, his hands had moved from behind your backpack to your hips instead, holding them as you stared up at him.
“You were waiting for me?” you asked, eyes wide with stars in them.
“Of course I was, baby.” 
You were radiating, feeling happier than ever. The last time you saw Jiwoong was a week ago, and with your clashing schedules, you two very rarely get the opportunity to make plans. Your hands rested atop his shoulders, and when he pulled you in for a kiss, you smiled.
But then it fell.
Something felt off.
//
If someone were to inquire Hyunjae about who his heart belonged to, your name would be his answer—whether he intended to say it or not. 
Hyunjae had always been considered the school’s favorite. His intelligence may not be up to par with others, but his authority was what made him a prominent member of your high school. Some blame it on his looks, but most were aware enough to know that wasn’t the case.
Hyunjae knew how to think on his feet, and his problem-solving skills outwitted everyone within his grade level. Reaching tranquillity had never been an issue for him, allowing him to be levelheaded while making decisions. He emitted an aura that made classmates truly listen to him and the ideas he shared, and overall, it made him a great contender to lead every group and organization he was in. 
Additionally, Hyunjae’s heart was what won over most people. His lack of vulnerability seemed to be his only flaw, but it was an obstacle he could overlook when it came to empathizing with others. By actively being involved in the community through volunteering and holding fundraisers, everyone could recognize Hyunjae’s devotion to hope for humanity. 
All these traits were what led Hyunjae up onto the pedestal and the public eye, a household name for all families in the district. Titles and awards naturally gravitated towards him throughout the years, resulting in him winning the vote as president of your school’s student council and enough scholarships to provide him a full ride at most universities.
It was safe to say that competition against Lee Hyunjae was sparse, and you were no different. 
Your grades would teeter around his standard, hence how you two collectively ended up in the same classes, but aside from that, you had nothing else that could compare to what he was capable of.
Except for one thing; your fury.
There was an inferno inside you at all times, and instead of your body shielding off your heart with steel, people around you would come to find out that your heart was the reason for that large blaze of fire, possessing a passion unlike any other. 
Hyunjae had never once seen a peer with as much fight as you. It was a trait only you encapsulated, one that you weren’t afraid to express. You stood up for yourself and your beliefs, and it was easy to pick fights with him when he had been troubling you from the very moment you two were assigned to sit next to each other in seventh-grade algebra. 
Hyunjae yearned for you ever since, his only want being your attention. You gave him the drive to succeed in high school and thrive in his senior year, and he was positive that he wouldn’t be doing this well without a reason to show off in front of you. He wanted your praise, your acknowledgment, but he loved the chase the most. 
Unfortunately, that was the exact reason he ended up here.
The chase was what made him fall for every part of you, wanting nothing more than your lips on his and the ability to have you by his side at all times, but it was also what landed you with your current boyfriend.
It was like his life was a video game with God giving him the hardest difficulty setting by making sure you were obsessed with someone undeserving of all that he wanted. There wasn’t even a chance of you two possibly being friends in your eyes. Meanwhile, Hyunjae would argue that you two had more chemistry than any other couple in your class, but that hope was crushed, shredded, and stomped on when he found out you still devoted your love to Jiwoong.
Regardless, it didn’t change who you were as a person. Your heart was still just as large and beautiful, and your drive to succeed hadn’t lessened. The bickering never faltered, and it wasn’t like Hyunjae was opposed whenever you expressed disgust at the thought of him being turned on because of you (and that was because he found the idea of you thinking about him hot—yes, his expectations were that low). 
So it was why after two months of almost zero to no contact, you treating him as if those months didn’t exist created the largest dilemma he had ever faced. He spent the next week thinking about your intentions and why you seemed to care so much, specifically right after when Hyunjae had willed himself to believe that he meant jackshit to you. You effortlessly toyed with his heart, leaving him in everlasting misery, while you seemed to do completely fine.
What was a typical and ideal lifestyle for you was a nightmare and tormenting hellhole for Hyunjae. He didn’t just crave the warmth and comfort from your undying flames.
He wanted to burn.
Insanity engulfed him on the days spent without you, leaving him to wonder why you had to make things extensively worse by pointing out his absence or how he had put less effort into his hair. Why did it seem like the concern you expressed was genuine? Why pretend that you cared for him as much as he cared for you?
He was going insane—so insane that he drove to a college party with three other friends in his sedan on a Wednesday night. 
It was being held by a fraternity he and his friends were far more than familiar with thanks to Jongin, an upperclassman he met in his sophomore year and remained friends with since then. The beginning of the senior year marked the origin of parties and hook-ups in weak sporadic attempts to get over you. 
At this rate, Hyunjae could argue that he was more experienced than half of the current college freshmen class. Getting girls in bed was the easiest part; the hardest part was forgetting about you. From what was a method created to move on from you became one that prepared him for when you wanted sex with him. 
But with your constant longing for Jiwoong, Hyunjae made sure that this party would be different.
Although accustomed to having sex with various women, Hyunjae had never been one to drink. This was a fact about him that raised brows, specifically Jongin’s when he first tried urging Hyunjae with a drink, but tonight he vowed to change that. He was normally their designated driver, but when Hyunjae informed Sangyeon of his plan, the elder was more than delighted to remain sober so Hyunjae could get a taste of alcohol.
“Hey, man! It’s about time!” Jongin exclaimed the instant he found out about Hyunjae’s willingness to drink, pulling a fresh bottle out of the cooler specifically for his friend.
“That’s what I told him!” Sangyeon projected his voice over the music, giving Hyunjae a supportive pat on the back.
Hyunjae rolled his eyes at his friends’ remarks and thanked Jongin for the beer, hanging around by the counter as the three conversed and caught up. The two laughed at the way Hyunjae’s face scrunched up at the taste, Sangyeon shoving him lightly with the claim that Hyunjae was being overdramatic. 
With his earlier mindless decision of tossing on a mesh long-sleeve shirt over his black tank top, Hyunjae had attracted another partygoer by his side momentarily after his first sip. She wrapped her arms around one of his and inserted herself into the conversation with hopes of getting Hyunjae in bed by the end of the night, and crazily enough, he considered it for a moment before feeling his phone vibrate in his back pocket.
Normally it would be something he’d ignore, but it remained persistent, signifying that he was receiving a call. He didn’t know who would be calling at this hour—well, aside from Minghao and his usual complaints about Hyunjae partying as a high schooler on a school night. 
After setting the glass down on the counter to grab his phone, any urgency to intoxicate himself as quickly as possible vanished the very second he saw your name glowing on his screen. With an awkward retraction of his arm and a forced cough, Hyunjae excused himself and answered the call.
“Hello?”
With music pounding inside his ear canals, it was expected that he couldn’t hear anything you were saying. He navigated through various crowds to reach the entrance of the house, his heart replicating the booming vibrations from the loudspeakers as he prayed that you wouldn’t hang up on him.
“Okay, I…I should be free now,” he stammered after stepping outside. The sudden stillness of Mother Nature was a drastic change from the party scene, coercing him to focus on his racing heartbeat and the anxiety accumulating in his tightening chest. He was breathing heavily, both from pushing through people in a rush and also because of you. 
You never failed to render him weak and helpless, leaving him like a puppy longing for their owner’s guidance.
There was a silence, but he could hear your gentle breaths hitting your phone.
“I need a ride.”
Hyunjae blinked, his body tensing up, as the many thoughts in his brain scrambled to make meaning of what you meant. However, it didn’t matter because you hung up shortly after, leaving him alone to revel in your words.
Your bluntness and suddenty made Hyunjae malfunction, his thoughts leading him to question if he had even heard you correctly. Rarely did you ever reach out to him, and what could you need him for? Especially after lashing out at him and ignoring him for two months? Of course, there was that one day a week ago when you two were forced to talk together, the day he was given a one-day suspension, but you two returned to treating each other like strangers like it was natural.
He stared at his phone in hopes of receiving more information, that you’d perhaps call again to reconfirm or say you had the wrong number. He felt like he was dreaming—that the person he had wanted for so long needed him for once, but he couldn’t help but also believe that this may be the beginning of another nightmare. 
But it was you, and Hyunjae was willing to risk it.
After checking his call logs to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating, he rushed back into the fraternity house, thankful he didn’t proceed with drinking any more than he did. 
He found everyone exactly where he had left them (the girl included) and announced his departure. The girl made sure Hyunjae knew how disappointed she was, but that was his last concern as he grabbed the beer bottle and handed it to Sangyeon, giving him a pat on the back.
“Drink up and find an Uber.”
“No fucking way you’re leaving us this soon, man.” Jongin shook his head in disapproval, his forearms resting against the countertop.
“Another time, I promise, yeah?” Hyunjae started walking away, waving to them as his heart continued to thrum in his chest.
“He’s lying,” Sangyeon snorted, taking a swig before bidding Hyunjae a bitter goodbye. “You owe me!"
Hyunjae ran out of the house, his legs making quick and long strides as he ran to his parked car down the block. His newfound adrenaline made him think about what he was sacrificing to be with you. Was leaving the party and betraying his friends worth spending even a second with you? What if you were asking him to drive you and your boyfriend somewhere? Could his heart even deal with being used like that?
But as much as Hyunjae hated it, he knew he was making the right choice. The self-respect he had for himself was buried six feet deep beneath the surface of the earth when it came to you. 
God, he really hoped he wasn’t hallucinating.
For a split second, Hyunjae truly debated what he was doing after getting into his car. He was already driving, but he didn’t know where to go. Luckily, it didn’t take you long to send him a text with your location, and it was a place he was familiar with. 
It was a park that he often frequented as a kid since it resided by his old neighborhood, and he was thankful he knew exactly where to go because he knew he would’ve definitely crashed the car while pulling up your location on his GPS. Hyunjae was doubtful it was the alcohol in his system making his fingers shake and his mind uneasy. He blamed you for his hysteria, one that had developed over years of endless longing. 
Luckily the drive wasn’t long thanks to the roads being mainly void of other vehicles (and maybe he did speed a few times, but he considered it justified). Before pulling into the parking lot, he spotted a lone figure curled up on a nearby bench. A small weight had been lifted off of him, relieved it was just you, and he parked aimlessly while his eyes rested on you.
You seemed unphased by his added presence, your arms unmoving as they stayed wrapped around your legs. The bench you were sitting in was facing away from the parking lot, but with his headlights illuminating the view in front of you, you certainly had to know he was there. 
In an ideal world, Hyunjae would leave his car, join you by your side, and, if he was lucky, he’d pull you into his arms and hold you close against his chest. He wanted to be there for you in whatever way he could, but he ended up being a deer in headlights, too afraid to make the wrong move and lose you again.
He sat there for a minute, watching you, and as soon as he received the confidence to reach for the handle of his door, you were up on your feet. His fingers paused midair as he traced your movements, his arm eventually falling to his side as you approach his car. 
Despite how slow his mind was working, Hyunjae knew to unlock the car right as you opened it (he would’ve died out of embarrassment if he had forgotten), and neither of you greeted the other.
Without any explanation from you, Hyunjae refrained from staring at you like he normally would, but your outfit made it incredibly difficult. It wasn’t much, just an oversized long-sleeved shirt that reached your thighs, but it was far from the usual clothes he’d seen you wear, like jeans and a nice-fitting blouse. For a moment, he believed you had no pants on, but then he knocked some sense into himself, realizing that you were probably wearing shorts that were hidden.
While Hyunjae attempted to keep his composure and respect your boundaries, you were eyeing him shamelessly, once again analyzing every detail about him. Beads of sweat pooled up on the back of his neck, and his hair was straightened yet fuzzy. As your eyes trailed downwards, you noticed how the mesh hugged his biceps, catching every crease that defined his muscles. He was quiet, his index finger resting against his lips. 
Where did he even come from?
And why was he so quick to listen?
You held back your tongue from dumping out your thoughts, knowing your questions would end up unanswered like before. Your body instinctively rested against the divot between the car door and your seat, keeping your distance from Hyunjae. He was meant to be a stranger, perhaps someone you loathed, yet there was an odd comfort that encased you from him just sharing the same air as you.
You cleared your throat, turning your head to look away when he flinched and snapped his gaze towards you.
“Drive.”
Your demand was no louder than a whisper, but Hyunjae picked it up effortlessly and was already backing out.
“Where to?”
“Anywhere.” Hyunjae raised a brow at your answer, and you buried yourself further into his seat, directing your gaze out the door. “Just-...anywhere, Jae.”
The nickname had his throat tightening and his chest leaping, nodding in your direction as he drove on autopilot. With no destination in mind, he strolled through familiar roads, his fingers tapping against the wheel. 
You stayed silent, creating a tension that was unbearably thick, yet none of you felt the need to leave; neither of you wanted to leave the other, even if it meant having to deal with the looming elephant in the room (or in this case, Hyunjae’s car).
After spotting the recreational center from afar and its empty parking lot, he instinctively pulled in. There wasn’t a proper explanation for why he decided it’d make a great destination, especially when it was the place that created a rift in your relationship with him, but it felt right.
It was empty, open, and serene—a perfect place to stay as the moon shined.
Hyunjae stepped out of the car after parking in the middle of it, and when you didn’t follow, he moved to your side and opened the door. He was hesitant but took the risk of offering his hand to you, a warm, nervous smile on his face. He wanted you to know he was there to listen, to be there for you, because, Lord, he would hand you the world if he could.
“I’m not in the mood for walking,” you mumbled, but Hyunjae shook his head.
“We’re not going to walk, I promise.”
Your eyes flickered up to his briefly, skeptical of what he had planned, but ultimately caved. You ignored his hand, and he pulled it back with regret. When you stood there, your eyes on the sky, he closed the door behind you and guided you to the hood of his car.
Without a second thought, he sat on top of it and gestured for you to do the same.
“I sit here all the time. Helps me think.” He leaned back against his windshield, his hands holding the back of his head as he kept his eyes on the sky. When you didn’t move, he started to feel stupid, wondering if you two were better off in the car, but then you joined him. 
You copied his position, staring upwards as your hands rested over your abdomen. 
Hyunjae opted to keep to himself, deciding that he didn’t want to make this worse for the two of you. Instead, he fixated his thoughts on the stars in the sky.
There were only a few, but it was a rare sight due to the constant air pollution in your city, so he considered it a miracle. You, on the other hand, were spacing out in thought, and Hyunjae could tell through his occasional peeks. Without much control, his eyes started tracing down your arms. They then landed on where the hem of your shirt rested, now looking at your bare thighs.
Feeling as if he just reverted back to being the shyest virgin in the country, he gulped and immediately looked elsewhere, trying to get you off his mind despite you being right next to him. His racing heart was all that he could hear, and now he wondered if you could hear it too—if you knew how much you affected him.
And your voice broke the silence.
“How long have you known?”
Okay, maybe his brain did fall out of his skull because Hyunjae had no idea what you were talking about. He turned his head and caught how you stared up at the sky. Your eyes were glossy, holding the reflections of the whole galaxy within them. They sparkled, and for a beat, Hyunjae had forgotten your question, too infatuated with your beauty. 
His silence resulted in you turning your head, gaze meeting his, and that was when he noticed the tears.
“About Jiwoong and Eunseo.”
Your light, your flames, his burning desire; all were gone in a flash.
Your voice was delicate, and Hyunjae knew that with one move, he could break you.
Directing his gaze heavenward, Hyunjae sighed and brought his arms down to rest over his chest. Somehow he was able to feel all the pain you were experiencing, his heart twisting while his stomach churned and sloshed around in his body. He thought about how to respond as he chewed on the inside of his lip, questioning if he should answer at all to avoid hurting you.
But you asked, and as always, Hyunjae delivered.
“I don’t think I ever really knew until last week,” he explained, “but I could always tell.” Suddenly, the fight from a week ago had resurrected, and Hyunjae was forced to relive it all.
The hallways were empty when Hyunjae left the broadcasting room, a backpack strap slung over his shoulder while the other dangled behind him. He was in the middle of scrolling through his emails when he picked up on the sound of Jiwoong’s voice around the corner. 
His footsteps halted, and Hyunjae caught Jiwoong’s fatal words.
“How does tomorrow sound?”
Eunseo’s squeals followed after, and Hyunjae stood motionless.
At first, Hyunjae had no thoughts circulating in his brain, but after hearing their lips collide, he started coming up with solutions, such as interrupting or taking a video to send to you. Unfortunately, before he could act on either of them, he heard footsteps dashing off, practically skipping, as the two bidded one another goodbye. 
Hyunjae couldn’t pinpoint the reasoning behind his upcoming actions, but he knew how to describe how he felt. 
Anger was the first and only emotion to surge up within him, his fingers instinctively balling up into fists. His muscles had tightened while a forest fire ran rampant through his veins, causing his blood to boil. 
Then with quick strides, Hyunjae shoved his phone away and made a sharp turn around the corner, tossing his backpack on the ground after spotting Jiwoong against the lockers. The latter had a dazed look on his face, his lips curled into a smirk as he typed away on his phone, but that was changed once he looked up at the sound of Hyunjae’s backpack crashing against the ground in front of him.
There wasn’t a second in between Jiwoong’s face of surprise and Hyunjae’s arm being raised, and before Jiwoong could react, Hyunjae’s fist had slammed into his jaw. 
It was a blur from there, but Hyunjae knew he had won even after authorities dragged him off Jiwoong’s body. He had received a few jabs in return, but it was nothing compared to the black eye Hyunjae gave him.
The fact that Jiwoong managed to cover it up with makeup the day after was a miracle, and no one in the school knew about the fight since it happened after school. Hyunjae wanted it to stay that way, but a selfish, cruel part of him wished that everyone knew how sick your boyfriend was.
Well, now he was unsure if he was still your boyfriend. 
Hyunjae turned his head back towards you, his cheek meeting the cold metal of his car.
You pursed your lips at his response and nodded slowly. If it were any other day, you wouldn’t have believed him. There was no universe where you’d choose to listen to Hyunjae over Jiwoong, but after a week of investigating and getting your head out of your ass, you found out on your own terms, and all the pieces made sense.
“I didn’t mean to.”
Hyunjae’s voice jerked you out of your thoughts, and as you adjusted to look back at him, you were surprised to still find him staring at you.
“I’m not a violent person, Y/N,” he whispered, an enduring hope lingering in his eyes. He wanted you to believe him, and for once, you did; you truly understood the man you hated most.
“I know, Jae.”
Hyunjae eased at your words, and the two of you fell back into a more comfortable yet aching silence. His fingers drummed against his abdomen, and after a while, he got sick of looking at the same four stars, so he closed his eyes, focusing on enjoying the light breeze instead. His heart was still racing, but it was less alarming. Regardless, he hated knowing that he potentially contributed to how much you were hurting right now.
Maybe if he had done something to prevent it earlier, whether it be telling you as soon as he found out or keeping completely out of your business so you could live in bliss, or, if he wasn’t so scared, he could’ve asked you to be his far before Jiwoong had. Maybe it wouldn’t have changed much, but Hyunjae would never know since he never tried, and now he was going to beat himself over it because now you’re devastated over losing your boyfriend and it was potentially his faul—
You laughed.
Hyunjae snapped his head towards you, his brows raised at your sudden change in mood—but it wasn’t the type of laugh he expected. Your laugh was one filled with pain, and he watched you shake your head, trying to refuse the tears that were rapidly welling up in your eyes once more. You sniffed and wiped the tears away with the back of your hand, choosing to look in the opposite direction because the last thing you wanted was for Hyunjae to see you vulnerable.
“It’s stupid,” you murmured. “This entire thing is stupid. I’m so fucking dumb.”
His lips parted to interject, to tell you that you were, in fact, ‘not dumb,’ but he clamped his mouth shut, knowing that his words probably wouldn’t help. From what he’d learned in the past, you liked it least when he tried telling you otherwise, no matter the situation. 
“I should’ve known. I did know. The whole world knew. Even you knew, but it makes me think, was Eunseo just flocking around, flaunting to everyone that she had a crush on my boyfriend and managed to win him over? I just—I…I don’t know-...” You paused to catch your breath, beginning to choke on your tears as your chest shook, “I don’t know what I did wrong, you know?”
You shut your eyes, allowing the pain to engulf you. You knew fully well that your punishment was to deal with the pain, but you felt like you didn’t deserve it—that you deserved none of this. Why was this a penalty for being in love?
It was humiliating having everyone witness the reality you shielded from yourself, choosing hope and love over the truth. 
“I just never felt more stupid in my life, and I feel even more stupid knowing that I still love him.”
Hyunjae sucked in his lips, gnawing on them as he bit back all his feelings, from his brain shredding to his heart weeping.
“I love him so much that I would let him do it to me all over again because I keep thinking he’d be better. I know he can be better, so why-...It’s just- Why do I do this to myself?”
Tears cascaded down your cheeks, each one leaving behind a trail for others to fall. They started pouring out of you rapidly, soon sobbing at the heart-wrenching pain of being betrayed by everyone in your life, Hyunjae included, because why, out of everyone, was he here for you when he should be the last person who cared?
You always wanted Hyunjae to be the antagonist of your life story, to have him as your biggest enemy and threat, so why was everyone else but him hurting you? Why was the villain of your fantasy taking the role of your knight in shining armor?
And yet, as much as it pained Hyunjae to process all your emotions, his mind wasn’t running correctly; he had you alone for the first time in months. He wanted nothing more than to pull you in his arms and whisper words of comfort in your ears, knowing you deserved it more than anyone, but he also wanted to shake you awake and slap you out of your misery, praying that you’d forget about Jiwoong; that right now, you being vulnerable was his chance to swoop in, to set whatever you wanted him to into flames, as long as if it meant you’d end up okay. 
You sat up because if you lied down any longer, you would’ve started drowning in your own tears. Your sleeves were soaked, and he sat up alongside you, figuring that he should do something about it.
Hyunjae got back onto his feet and stood in front of you. He barely knew what he was doing, but that didn’t stop him from replacing your sleeves with his cold, clammy hands over your cheeks. There wasn’t a time that Hyunjae could recall where he had been this gentle with someone, and when you didn’t push him away, he tilted your head up to look at him.
Even with tears running down your cheeks, you looked angelic as ever. 
Each droplet mirrored a star from the sky, and your eyes sparkled as they stayed locked on his.
“Take me,” you whispered, and Hyunjae’s whole world stopped. 
“...What?” Hyunjae had only intended to wipe your tears away with the pads of his hands, perhaps whisper something along the lines of him being here for you for the night (and the rest of his life, let’s be honest), yet your first words were—no, he had to have been hallucinating.
Your hands trembled as they reached for his wrist, and although you were severely broken, the grip your fingers created was firm.
“Please.”
Like a moth to a flame, Hyunjae admired how pretty you looked, your lips plump and eyes wide, and he wanted nothing more than to take you into his backseat and treat you the way he’d always wanted to, especially after hearing your pleas, but he knew better. You both knew better. 
“What exactly are you implying?” he asked, feeling like you had just inhaled all his oxygen and left him breathless. 
You released his wrist and opted to hold onto his sleeve, tugging on it as you tried to get him to understand you.
“I want it to hurt, Jaehyun.”
Your tears were gone, and there was a hint of dominance in your tone that would’ve had him dropped to his knees in front of you. You were also one of the very few who resorted to calling him Jae, and now his actual name. He favored Hyunjae, but after hearing ‘Jaehyun’ from your lips, his preference had completely made a turnaround. 
But Hyunjae worked to collect his thoughts, fully aware that this was wrong and he’d have to be the bigger person here. As much as he hated himself for giving up the perfect opportunity to have the girl of his dreams, he couldn’t ignore the large concern over your current mental state.
“You’re not thinking straight, Y/N,” he reasoned softly, his fingers reaching up to brush your hair out of your face, and for a second, Hyunjae swore he felt the alcohol kicking in—or perhaps it was you instead. The thought of being able to have you right now, to touch you and press his hands over your skin, to have you as his for just this night, was so intoxicating that he was seconds away from foaming at the mouth.
“I don’t need to think straight. I don’t want to think at all.”
Everything felt hotter and tighter, but he kept his composure, though with his eyes dropping to your begging lips and then your delicate fingers, he knew he was beginning to lose whatever was left of his sanity. 
But he also knew you were using him; you had to be. There was no other explanation. It was only minutes ago when you professed how you continued to feel about Jiwoong—that your heart still belonged to him, and Hyunjae was allowed nowhere near it. He was your backup, your second option, yet that happened to be better than nothing, right?
Especially when he could have you right here, right now. 
“You’re using me.”
Your expression didn’t falter.
“Then say no. Make us go back into your car and drive me home.” Your hand dropped from holding onto his sleeve but that was so you could wrap your arms around his neck, slowly bringing yourself closer to him. His cheeks were flushed as his mind flooded with possibilities of what could happen. Never had you ever wanted him, and he’d been dreaming of a moment like this for years. Your tear-stained cheeks, your pouty red lips—he wanted all of you.
“But you won’t,” you whispered, your breath hitting his skin. Your eyes landed on his lips, now craving him as much as he craved you. You needed a release, an outlet, to justify Jiwoong being better than Hyunjae. Hyunjae was worse in every way possible, and you wanted him to prove that to you. “You’d do anything I’d say, wouldn’t you?”
“What makes you say that?” Little did you know Hyunjae was crumbling inside, completely melting as his fingers grew weak at the idea of your lips on his. His hands, although wary, traveled to your waist, feeling your curves before trailing his hands down to your hips to grip them.
“You love me, don’t you?”
His heart stuttered, all words caught up in his throat, but he knew there was no defending himself—not when he was practically drooling at every move you made; he was hyperaware of the hand playing with the hair on his nape, the way your lips nearly hovered over his, and how your tears glistened under the moonlight.
His entire existence was confirmation of your words, and you knew it.
“You’d do anything for me, Jae. What’s stopping you now?”
There was a stillness as you two stared at one another. He swallowed and pulled slightly back.
He knew better.
“You don’t want me.” He was brokenhearted, a part of him understanding that you’d never be his, yet he wanted you in so many ways, wishing to have your mewls fill his ears and the smell of sex staining his clothes. The bulge in his pants was forming and pressing up against the tight confinement, making him groan. 
He dropped his head downwards, his forehead leaning to rest against yours, as he closed his eyes and did his best to regulate his breathing—repeating in his head and out loud, again.
He knew better.
“You’re using me.”
You both knew better.
Yet with your lips ghosting his and your eyes half-hooded, you were prepared to give into the dark side.
“And I say take advantage of it.”
Hyunjae dived and pressed his lips onto yours, hunger driving his every movement. There was no stopping when he felt your lips curling up into a grin, his hands shifting to wrap around your torso to drag you closer. His heart burst at how perfectly his lips molded with yours, and it seemed as if there was fire shooting up into the sky and exploding—they weren’t fireworks, and the explosion was far bigger and more dangerous. It lit the entirety of the sky, the moon and stars included, into flames, a desire unlike any other.
Your left hand pressed firm against the back of his neck while the other traveled through his hair. Meanwhile, his hands had snuck beneath your shirt and felt for your lower back. Heavy breaths left the two of you as desperation crept through your veins, dictating your every movement. 
The cold touch from his hands ignited your nervous system, every sense activated and overstimulated by Hyunjae as you released a breathy moan into his mouth.
You didn’t want him, but fuck, you needed him.
When you would pull back, his lips would chase yours, and you two fell into an endless cycle. He couldn’t even fathom how you were pulling away for air when you were his oxygen. Maybe you weren’t oxygen itself, but the fumes you emitted had already replaced his need for air, deluding him into believing that you were what he needed to stay alive.
You were suffocating, toxic, and destructive, and he wanted more. 
After retracting from the kiss for the nth time, you turned your head to hold Hyunjae back from continuing. You both were panting, your cunt soaking, and he stared into your eyes like a puppy awaiting their next direction.
“Good boy,” you praised, and he laughed lowly and sheepishly, dropping his head as he processed what happened and the idea of it being potentially over. 
“You’re lethal,” he breathed out.
“And you’re pitiful,” you spat. There was a playful grin on your lips, but those words ignited something within Hyunjae. He raised his head and cocked a brow at you, questioning your genuinity. 
Just minutes ago you were crying over a guy that treated you terribly, and yet here you thought you had the authority to call him weak.
Perhaps he was; he was falling deeper into your pitless trap, enticed with every movement of yours, but he knew for a fact you weren’t any better than him.
You both were sick in the head for falling for people that treated the other like shit, yet your drive, your fuel, to win over the hearts of the people you loved was so strong, and it made you two unstoppable. 
Hyunjae would punch Jiwoong all over again if he could. 
Without a second thought, Hyunjae ducked his head down and ruthlessly attached his lips to your neck, eliciting a gasp from you. He kissed your skin fervently, his fingers teasing the rim of your shorts, and your hands shifted to hold onto his shoulders for support. You found yourself tossing your head back, providing him more room to do as he pleased, that if Jiwoong were to see you with marks on your neck, then maybe he’d want you back. 
“Bold of you to call me pitiful,” he grumbled, sucking onto your neck until a blot of purple began to form.
“But it’s true, no?”
“You’re just as bad, Y/N.” He licked a stripe up your neck and over the mark, and the sensation made you cringe, disgust itching at your skin due to being covered in his saliva, but you wanted more of it. You wanted Hyunjae to treat you like you were nothing, to treat you worse than Jiwoong ever had, so you could direct your blame over to Hyunjae instead of your unknowing boyfriend.
You turned your head and slotted your lips with his again, already addicted to how perfect they were for you. Hyunjae knew the exact way to kiss you, to keep you on your toes, as your slick pooled up in your underwear at the mere thought of Hyunjae touching you.
The kiss was eager, a fight for control, and when Hyunjae didn’t surrender, you raised your knee, forcing your thigh to brush up against his crotch.
He gasped at the sensation and pulled away, bangs hanging over his eyes as he looked down at the sight. You teased him by keeping your touches gentle, but you made sure to keep your leg moving. Nothing intrigued you more than seeing Hyunjae beg or rut against your thigh, further proof of how pathetic he was for you. You gained a sense of ego knowing that he could have any girl in the world, that he has had every girl, and yet he would always come back to you. Now that you had him, it would be harder for him to return to a life without you under him, moaning his name.
You wanted to be his downfall. 
Your nails latched onto the mesh, taking note of how easy it would be to rip the material, before pressing your thigh firmly up against his dick, making him jerk.
“You’re-...oh my god, Y/N,” he gasped, breathless. His eyes meet your devious ones, how you were basically Satan himself, and somehow, someway, he wouldn’t ask for anything different. “You’re playing a losing…a losing- game.”
“What more do I have left to lose?” There was some truth in your words as vulnerability struck you. Your leg then lowered as you regained a slight sense of reality, realizing that you were forcing Hyunjae into being your selfish source of relief. You hated Hyunjae, sure, but you knew this was the last thing he deserved—to use him when he’d been nothing but accommodating to you.
And your sick and twisted plan was that after this encounter, you’d leave him to rot.
Hyunjae didn’t deserve that at all. 
But Hyunjae was already too far gone, too intoxicated, to even consider the repercussions of how he’d end up after this. The loss of contact with his crotch was what had him picking you up from his car, the tips of his fingers digging into your thighs, as he led you to the backseat. 
Your eyes widened, your senses fully back, but you made him like this, and you were going to pay for it. Although scared for about what’s to come, the anticipation had you drooling, your lips pressing fierce kisses onto his skin while he opened the door with you in his arms.
He laid you down gently and crawled over you, keeping you trapped between his arms.
“This is what you wanted, right? For me to tear you apart until you can run back to Jiwoong and justify how poorly he treats you?” 
Your brows bunched up at his words, your legs getting antsy being under him. There was no answering him, not when Hyunjae already knew how you were going to respond.
He brought one of his hands into your shorts and made the aggravating decision to slide his fingers over your underwear, depriving you of contact with his fingers.
Yet even with your underwear being a divider, he found your clit with ease and immediately started rubbing circles into the bud, making you buck your hips with a whine. The friction of the cloth was something you were unfamiliar with, and lord did it mess with you. 
“You want me to treat you how he sees you? Worthless and undeserving of respect?” He flicked your clit and kissed your jaw. “If that’s what you want, that’s exactly what my princess is going to get.”
“Fuck,” you moaned, using your hands to push onto his shoulders and force him down. The drive to ride his tongue was strong, and if he kept teasing you, you would have lost it.
“I know you inside and out, Y/N. I know you better than him, and this is how you treat me.” He sucked in a cheek but ultimately decided to comply with what you wanted. He pulled off your shorts yet left your underwear on, and his brows raised. He wasn’t sure how his fingers had missed the texture of lace, but what you were wearing was certainly lingerie.
You looked down to see why he stopped, and when you realized why he froze, heat rose to your cheeks.
“I wanted to feel pretty,” you whispered, shutting your eyes after turning your head. It was embarrassing, now that you thought about it, but Hyunjae’s heart soared, and he wanted nothing more than for you to know how ethereal you looked.
But he shoved the feeling away, allowing his frustrations to get the better half of him. 
When he pulled off your underwear, he cooed at how your essence oozed onto the material and raised the undergarment into the air, waiting for you to look.
“Did I do this?”
His mocking tone kept you from looking, but your curiosity got the best of you. You were met with the sight of a large wet, dark patch on your underwear, biting down on your lip as you looked at him with wide eyes. If you thought about it, you couldn’t remember the last time you felt like this, or if there ever had been a time when you craved someone this badly. 
He tossed it to the side and his hands massaged your thighs, keeping them spread open so he got a proper view of your core on display for him. The sight truly stunned him, reminding him that this was you he fantasized about and replicated with other girls—no one else.
“Do you normally take this long?” you rasped, tossing your head back against the seat, and Hyunjae rolled his eyes.
“I do you a favor, and this is how you treat me.”
“A favor is a stretch—”
Hyunjae plunged two fingers into your mouth, having them press firmly down against your tongue. He latched onto your jaw and pulled your head forward and up towards him, having your eyes meet his.
“Remind me, Y/N, who was begging for this?”
He dropped your head back down against the seat before you could even respond and used whatever saliva accumulated in your mouth as temporary lube, figuring that your slick would help him with stretching you out. You grunted at the impact, feeling helpless, as Hyunjae finally inserted his fingers inside of you. 
Hyunjae’s fingers were enough to have your eyes rolling, but it was the ring that he wore that stimulated you the most. You weren’t aware that he was even wearing one, yet the cold band against your raging wet heat made you whimper and desperately grasp for his hair.
“Jaehyun, please,” you begged. 
He chuckled and kept his movements slow, forcing you to fuck yourself onto his fingers weakly. When you did, he was in awe at how stunning you looked, how you seemed to be in your own world, and how you were enjoying him. By curling his fingers, a moan was pulled from your throat, making your eyes open as you looked at him. You continued to pool around his fingers, your voice weakly begging for so much more than his fingers and the cold air that brushed against your skin. 
Never had you felt more vulnerable, but Hyunjae never once made you feel like you were doing something wrong, making you cling desperately to him. You forced his face down into your crotch and jerked at the feeling of his nose brushing up against your clit.
“Shameless, aren’t you?” he commented, laughing lowly, but you were too out of it to care. 
“Shut the-...F-fuck, oh my god.”
Your whines had gotten more incessant the more useless he became, his fingers now completely stilled inside of you as he watched you roll your hips with a cheeky grin. He wanted to drag this out for as long as possible, knowing fully well that he could last all night. 
When he took out his fingers, you were yanked out of your bliss and nearly begged for him to put them back in, but before you could get a word out, he had replaced his digits with his tongue. Your slick was dripping onto his lips, and as he dragged his wet muscle up and down your folds, he made sure to collect a small puddle of you onto his tongue to eventually swallow, wanting to savor you. 
“Oh-...Oh my god, Jae—” Your orgasm was approaching, unsure of how it was here so soon, but you recognized the signs from the coil in your chest tightening to losing every sensation to the man beneath you. You rocked your hips continuously onto his tongue, and his thumb attached to your clit, making you see stars with how rapid his movements were. 
He pulled his face back and forced his fingers back into you, and the final curl was what made you reach your peak, your hips in the air as you cried out his name. 
As you came down from your high, you caught a glance of the way Hyunjae was looking at you; to him, you were otherworldly, and it was a sight he’d never forget. He wondered if Jiwoong ever saw you like this, if he ever made you feel this way, and suddenly his admiration had soured and contoured to something of darkness, rid of any empathy as he now looked at you with some form of disgust. 
“All this for me, and you still have the fucking audacity to choose him.” 
The mention of Jiwoong had your eyes wide open, tears reappearing at the mention and while being in your most vulnerable state. Your legs shook from the aftermath, feeling too weak to continue, yet Hyunjae seemed to have other plans.
Instead of shoving his fingers back into either of your mouths, he hovered over you and made sure you saw the way he dragged his fingers around your abdomen, drawing aimlessly over your skin with your essence before dragging a hand up to your breasts, massaging one of them as his other hand rested by your waist.
“Tell me, Y/N, did you buy this for him and never got to use it? That’s why you’re wearing it now with me? Am I your sloppy seconds?”
There was a slight growl under his tone, and while you shook your head subconsciously, he worked to remove your shirt, wanting a better look at your bra, before being met with a necklace you had been hiding; one with Jiwoong’s name.
And Hyunjae took no time breaking it from your neck.
Your jaw dropped, and you snapped out of your daze by sitting straight up, yet as you were about to yell at him for breaking your necklace, he shoved three fingers back into your pussy, shutting you up by having you moan at the intrusion. 
“It looked cheap, anyway,” he muttered, forcing his mouth against yours momentarily to nip on your lower lip, tugging on it so your focus remained on him. 
“That was—he’s mine,” you forced out, gasping at every thrust he made with his fingers, your sweet spot being abused as your hands latched onto his shoulders. You made sure your nails dug into his skin, wanting it to hurt, before pulling onto the mesh, wishing for it to tear. 
“He’s not yours, princess. Tell me, how can you say that when his dick has been up other girls?” With his free hand, he grabbed your face and made sure you were staring straight at him before shoving it to the side. 
“You need to fucking wake up and realize that you can dream all you want about how he’d react if he saw you hopping on my dick, but guess what? He wouldn’t care.” Hyunjae pulled out his fingers and left you alone in the backseat. 
You sat there, a wreck and vulnerable, as you tried to catch your breath. You lay back on your forearms, curious eyes following his every movement.
“There’s a reason he hasn’t left you yet,” Hyunjae explained, opening the front door to his car to grab a condom and his phone. He tucked both into his back pocket before returning to you, bringing your lips to his before continuing to talk within the kiss.
“He’s stringing you along so you can boost his ego. He knows you will always be there for him, and you allow him to use you like that?” 
You wrapped your fingers around Hyunjae’s neck, squeezing it before pushing it away to keep your distance, your frustration starting to grow.
“I’m beginning to think you’re all bark and no bite, Jaehyun,” you muttered, and with whatever strength you had left, you pushed him against the seat and got into his lap. Without hesitation, you started rocking your hips over his clothed dick, hoping your slick would seep in so he could feel you.
He hissed but allowed you to do as you pleased, his grip tight on your hips.
“I-...I think…if you asked me, you’re the one who’s projecting. I’m the one in a relationship, and you’re just a side piece.”
The speed of your hips increased, and Hyunjae felt ecstasy on the tip of his tongue, the confinements of his pants physically paining him the more you continued.
“You’re jealous, Jae. Just admit it.”
You pulled at his hair, loving the absolute control you had over him at that moment, but in one languid motion, Hyunjae managed to push you back down, this time with your stomach against the seats. You could feel your bodily fluids sticking to the nylon, and with how hard Hyunjae was pressing down into you, you were barely given a chance to move. 
With one hand on your lower back, he kept you still as he took out both his phone and condom, making sure to place both on top of your bare skin.
“What’s there to be jealous of when you’re here under me? You want to be fucked stupid? Fine. Don’t fucking complain when you want me to be the villain.” You lurched at his words, refusing to let him win, but you were completely unable to do much damage as Hyunjae kicked off his pants and boxers while still keeping his weight on you.
He then picked up his phone and pulled up the camera, making sure to take a photo of you in his car before clicking record and tossing the phone onto the ground, hoping it was close enough to pick up on your sweet noises. 
“Make sure to be loud for me, yeah? I’m sure Jiwoong would love it if I sent that video to him.”
“You wouldn’t fucking dare,” you bit back, your hand reaching out in an attempt to grab the device, but Hyunjae was quicker to grab your wrist, pinning it behind your back. 
“I wouldn’t because I know how to appreciate what’s mine.” Hyunjae released his hold on you to roll on the condom, giving you the opportunity to move and take his phone as you pleased. To your dismay, there was no more effort left within you, only an ache to feel Hyunjae inside you. 
“He appreciates me,” you mumbled, trying to convince yourself otherwise as you waited.
“Does he record you? Jerk off to your moans every night? Because I would, Y/N, just for you.” His voice was now by your ear, and when you turned your head to look at him, he pulled you into another hungry kiss, his dick now grazing against your hole. 
“You’re fucking insane,” you bit back into the kiss, and he grinned against your lips, guiding his dick into you as he spoke.
“Psychotic, just for my princess.”
Venom laced his voice, dripping menacingly, and the insertion of his tip had you grasping for something in front of you, anything, and it was only then that you were able to process how thick his cock was.
“Can you take it?” he asked, his voice slightly softer than before. When you gave him a curt nod, he continued pushing in further. Maybe lube should’ve been an option, but you were so wet for him that it didn’t matter, knowing that the stretch probably would have hurt regardless. 
“Fuck, fuck—he really doesn’t know what he’s missing,” Hyunjae gasped, his head resting against the back of yours. It was better than anything he’d dreamed of, better than any girl he imagined, because it was you, and your body was made for him.
“When was the last time he fucked you?” He was fully inside of you now, and when you didn’t answer, he decided to take it as a sign to move. With a firm grip on your waist, he pulled out just to slam back in, making you yell as you clawed at the seat, wishing there was something to bite on as you endured the pain that was quick to morph into pleasure. 
Every glide pushed you further into the car, your forearms occasionally hitting the door, as his hips moved vigorously, working up to a pace that had you moaning without pause. Tears were flowing down your cheeks at the overwhelming pleasure of being manhandled—of being Hyunjae’s rag doll when he was meant to be yours, and your body seized up, being worked up to your orgasm once more with how precise each thrust seemed to be. 
He adjusted to raise one of your legs to his hip, giving him a new angle to pound into you as he worships you with his dick, and you shook out of pleasure, whining as you saw white and reached your second orgasm for the night. You pulsated around his cock, strangled moans ripping from your throat as tears mixed with your drool by your chin.
And Hyunjae showed no signs of stopping.
He made sure to press your face down against the seats, wanting every liquid to fall and stain his car, giving him something to remember you by.
Oh, and there was the recording too.
While kneeling inside of the cramped car, he slowed his movements and inclined his torso towards you. In one swift motion, he wrapped his arm around your neck and pulled you up, locking you inside his elbow as he forced you to look into your reflection in the car window.
“Look at you, the school’s favorite slut. What happens if the recording drops? The whole school would know you’re mine, wouldn’t they?” He pressed his chest against your back, the mesh rubbing against your skin as his lips remained near your ear, forcing you to listen to every word.
You limped against him, your flames completely burnt out, and your fingers tugged onto the mesh around his arm, successfully ripping it after some time, but Hyunjae seemed unphased. In fact, it turned him on even more knowing that he had you locked in, that you were his.
“Look at your pretty cunt taking me in so well. It was so wet for me, wasn’t it? It still is. And guess what? You’re in my car. You belong to me, and my good girl is only now just finding out about it, isn’t she?” 
“I-I’m…I’m not-...not yours,” you retaliated, creating red angry marks into his skin with your nails as you endured being used, stifling your moans as you looked at how wrecked you were, how bare you seemed to be compared to Hyunjae. You were much more of a mess, from your hair to the bruises on your neck. Your pussy kept tightening up around his dick, convulsing occasionally with every hit toward your g-spot, and you held onto Hyunjae each time. 
Your head drooped down, thinking about how your heart ached for Jiwoong, yet the rest of your body was meant for Hyunjae.
“Whose fucking dick is inside of you right now?” He scoffed and pulled on your hair, forcing your head back up so he could directly speak into your ear. “Wake up, Y/N,” he demanded. “You’re mine.”
He dropped you back onto the seat like you were nothing, leaving you completely helpless, your throat void of any words as your eyes closed and met the back of your skull, too fucked out to communicate. You tried reaching for the door handle, just something to hold onto, yet you couldn’t.
“You tell me I’m pitiful, that I’m basically delusional when you’re going to be the reason my car will smell like sex for weeks.”
Your face was forced back into the puddle of liquid you created earlier, being shifted back and forth against the seat as if you were made for his dick and not vice versa.
“It’s crazy how pathetic you are, how willing you are to break yourself down in front of everyone just to have him. That-...fuck…that you’re so convinced he wants you and you two are soulmates.” He dragged his fingers through your hair and grabbed your roots. “You called me, you wanted me, and I have you right now, moaning my name, and you have nothing.”
Something about his words kept bringing out your orgasms, each thrust adding to the pleasure immensely. You didn’t know how much you could handle—afraid you may pass out from how much he was using you, from his tight grip around you to his dick hitting inside of you mercilessly.
Hyunjae whispering ‘I won, Y/N’ was what had you losing it, your high this time ending up stronger than the rest. You were fully crying now, and yet he continued as if you were nothing.
He peppered your shoulder with kisses and had the slight decency to slow his pace, but he also took note of your sobs.
“Don’t tell me you still want him,” he began rambling, his lips still on your shoulder. “Don’t tell me after this that your heart still belongs to him, because if that were the case, I’d make you call him right now. Say you wish it was him instead of me, and that he’s the love of your life while you’re stuffed with my dick. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
You could no longer think, and what you hated most was how reactive your body was—how you were just able to come for the third time, but Hyunjae’s dick solely being inside you snapped some other straw you weren’t aware you had, finding that your last high was incoming. 
Hyunjae had picked up the pace by then, and by knowing your body incredibly well, he reached down to your sensitive clit to relieve you. You both knew your fourth was arriving, and you held on tight to his arm.
“J-Jaehy- hyun, I’m—”
“Mine.”
You cried out, your entire body shaking, and Hyunjae pulled out, immediately releasing onto your back with a guttural moan after yanking off the condom. He was forced to catch his breath, watching you float in and out of consciousness.
Your eyes were closed, struggling to breathe through your sobs, and Hyunjae consoled you with a kiss on the back of your shoulder. 
“You’re mine, Y/N, whether you like it or not.”
He then pressed a kiss to your cheek before leaving to grab paper towels from his trunk. You were heaving, still shaking, and left alone as a mess in his backseat, yet with him gone, you felt even more useless, wanting him back by your side instantly. You weakly cried out for him, your nails dragging against the seat in hopes of being in his arms soon, and maybe he was right.
Maybe you were his.
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OUR INFERNO [ M.LIST | TWO ]
NAVIGATION — THE BOYZ
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© https://hcuyk.tumblr.com/
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loverseon · 26 days
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SOUL SWAP .ᐟ masterlist coming soon ᯓ★
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pairing female reader x ???
genre royal au, fantasy, kinda mystery ish
synopsis you wake up in a bedroom thats not your own. curtains that arent your own, bed thats not your own. a life thats not your own. no one around you seems to take you very seriously when you try and explain that youre… not exactly who they think you are. but hey, who are you to complain when everywhere you look theres a handsome man who wants you?
word count tbd (around 30k+)
warnings angst, fluff, themes of death, suggestive (tbz being sexy what can i say) cursing, slow burn, gradual pairing reveal, will add more tags as we progress
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teaser one moodboard playlist
part i. the dream of the golden bedroom
part ii. the hero of the first water
part iii. the saviour of the fallen
part iv. the master of the wild
part v. the commander of the gods
part vi. the ceremony of the conqueror
part vii. the end of the beginning
part viii. epilogue: the princess of stars
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a/n shakes u by the shoulders ohhhh its happeninf its happeningg
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papermatisse · 7 months
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† An Anthology of the thoughts which keep me up at night.
† My contribution to October (and possibly November lol). There's only one that is pure fluff; everything else is horror.
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Contents
I. Stranger || Byun Baekhyun; body snatcher
II. Into the Woods || Yoon Hyunsuk; fae
III. Don't Look Back || Kim Junmyeon; automatonophobia
IV. Solace || Bae Jinyoung; scopophobia
V. Perchance to Dream || Lee Sangyeon; somniphobia
VI. Deadend || Yoon Jeonghan; persistent predator
VII. A Rigid Dichotomy || Kim Yonghee; mind control
VIII. Whispers in the Dark || Kim Sunwoo; possession
IX. Enter Bedlam || Oh Sehun; Eldritch
X. Security Blanket || Choi Seungcheol; demon
XI. Beckoning || Joshua Hong; siren
XII. Rainy Day || Ji Changmin; astraphobia
XIII. The Somnambulist || Park Chanyeol; somnambulophobia
XIV. Portrait of a Man || Lee Juyeon; Gothic
XV. Lore || Kwon Soonyoung; vampire
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© papermatisse, 2023. please do not repost, copy, or translate any of my works here on tumblr or any other other platform
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bae-del-moon · 4 months
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With Love, From the Other Side of the Apocalypse | Preview
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pairing: sunwoo x f.reader rating: M (for suggestive and violent themes) | TW: death, blood, and zombie-decaying bodies genre: angst, romance, post-apocalyptic!au | childhood friends-to-lovers-to-exes-to-lovers, slow-burn fic summary:When the world came to an abrupt end, the years you spent avoiding your hometown and those who came with it after graduating high school fell kaput. After months of solitude, you find yourself packing what you can and driving for days just to get back. Unsure of what you expected, you find yourself having to confront the mess you left behind. You're no stranger to a broken heart. Neither are they. You're the one who broke Sunwoo's heart, after all.
A/N: a stolen moment in time from the draft fic that leads to one of my favorite scenes. here's to the new year & posting this fic soon 🥂
☣|| [++☠++] || [++☠++] || [++☠++] || [++☠++] || [++☠++] ||☣
Your breathing is shallow now, and you're half convinced you're going to pass out just as you're about to meet your end. It’s hopeless, you finally accept. You stop trying to pull your foot out of the mud and fall onto your ass, hands falling beside you, fingers digging into the mud. 
All around you, the zombies clump together, hands outstretched as if you were already in front of them. You wait for them and suddenly wonder if zombies are capable of teasing. Or does this count as torture? Because you're sure you've watched them move faster before, crowd around something living like it was a race. Or were they only fast during the apocalypse, when they were all freshly turned?
There’s a sudden rustle to your left, and you flinch.
There it is. The zombie (zombies?) coming from that side has yet to lose its zeal. Against better reason, you twist towards it to wait for it and watch as it comes through the tree line.
He bursts through it like a bull on a rampage, the hood of his poncho falling off his head like a parachute, and everything slows down. Lightning flashes. Zombies start to burst through the tree line behind him. And your life flashes in front of your eyes.
You lock eyes with him. Suddenly, Sunwoo’s ahead of you. Not the one who found you by coincidence looting a grocery store for food, but the fifteen-year-old you left behind. He’s smirking at you, his backpack slapping against his back as he runs toward you. He’s still in his soccer uniform, cleats and all, and his hair is damp in sweat. Strands of it clump together against his forehead.
He laughs. 
“It’s not sweat!”
Your lips don’t move, but you can hear yourself answer him.
“Yes, it is!”
“It’s not! Come here! I swear! I want my kiss!”
“It totally is! Even your face looks all sparkly with sweat.”
“That’s because you think I’m handsome! OH!” He kneels in front of you, hands around one of your legs, huffing. “Shit. You can’t blame me for this. All I wanted was my kiss.”
“Yes, I can! I was running away from you!”
“You promised me a kiss.” He whined, pouty, and you could feel yourself fight back the laugh that was building up inside you at the look on his face. You'd only been teasing him. Sweat or not, you were going to kiss him like you always did before the two of you went home.
“Sunwoo.” You huffed out with a barely suppressed laugh. “I’m only joking.”
“How was I supposed to know that?”
You laughed and shook your head, “Sunwoo.” 
He lifted his gaze from your leg, the pout still prevalent over his lips. You smiled widely, and then locked eyes. Your smile dissipated without a single word exchanged between the two of you. Before you knew it, you could feel his breath fanning over your lips, your nose nearly brushing his. Your body buzzed, and you could feel your breath start to come out in long shudders. 
“Y/N, you need to try pulling your leg out! Pull! Pull it!” Sunwoo, voice raised into a near yell, fell onto his knees next to you.
You stared at him, stunned as fifteen-year-old Sunwoo disappeared, and the twenty-three-year-old Sunwoo took his place. He struggled, both of his hands wrapped around your ankle as he yanked at it frantically, trying to dislodge your foot from its muddy mold of a prison.
A shuddering breath, much like the one you'd just remembered, escaped you suddenly. The world sped up again, your will to live resuscitated, and you pulled at your leg again. It continued to refuse to budge.
Desperate, you took a quick glance around and felt your hope start to falter again. The group of zombies following you were closer now than ever. Half a minute, you decided, maybe less.
“This isn’t working,” Sunwoo grunted.
“You’ve got to go.” 
“Stand up.” 
You could still feel him pulling at your shoe. “Run.”
“Stand up!” Ten seconds. The flat, croaking moans of the zombies melded together and muffled the sound of the rain falling through the trees. You stood up as he wished, clutching his arms, and forced him onto his feet, even as he resisted you. 
A second later, when your eyes met his wide ones, you mustered all the strength you still had and pushed him away.
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You can find the FULL fic teaser here!
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boyzcatchingfire · 8 months
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Breaking the Stereotype ~ *Lee Jaehyun*
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Summary: Jaehyun is your loyal "knight in shining armor" and you really do admire him. However, when his friends try to get him to flirt with you the only way they know how, you have to be the one to set the record straight.
Pairing: Lee Jaehyun X Fem!Reader
Genre: Fluffy Drabble
Word Count: 455
Warning: N/A
Masterlist
Taglist: @foxwinter
“Run away with me.”
“I’d rather not, but thank you for asking.”
Jaehyun frowned, folding his arms over his chest. “I’m trying to be romantic here.”
You rolled your eyes, fighting the growing smile threatening to show. “And I’m finding you annoying. You’re missing your mark here.”
“Well! Younghoon said it would work.” He muttered crossly.
You let out a bark of laughter. “And you listened to him? C’mon, you’re better than this! You know Younghoon will say anything as long as someone is still listening to him. He’s crazy.”
“And I’m not?”
“No, you’re just, how should I say, unique.”
Jaehyun scowled. “That’s just mean.”
You scoffed. “What do you want me to say? Look, I know you’ve heard all those stories about princesses wanting to be saved from their ivory towers, but I’m happy where I’m at. I have a lot of plans for the future of the kingdom. I’ve trained my whole life for this and I’m ready to prove myself to my people.”
“What about, like, arranged marriages and all that?”
Shrugging, you answered, “I mean as long as they don’t get in my way, then we should be fine.”
“You just really don’t want me to be romantic, huh?” He sighed. “You know, it took me a long time to come to terms with my feelings for you and tell you how I feel. If you didn’t feel the same, you could just tell me instead of stringing me on like this.”
With a frown, you said, “First off, I’m not stringing you along. I just find your attempts to woo me lacking. You go for the stereotypical stuff. It’s like you’re not even trying. And secondly, who says I didn’t like you like that? I know I have never said those words to you. So maybe if you stopped sulking and were actually direct with me, I would actually tell you that I want you to court me!”
“I-what?” He paused and you could practically hear the wheels turning in his brain from your balcony. “You actually like me back?”
“YES YOU STUPID BOY!” You couldn’t help but let out an exasperated laugh. “You’re a bit thick sometimes, but I still like you an awful lot.”
“Ah, right.” He chuckled, his cheeks a flame. “So does this mean we’re officially courting?”
“Well, you have to bring up your courtship proposal to my father, but it’s the middle of the night. So do it in the morning. I’m sure he’ll be thrilled.” You explained, sending him a sincere smile. “And I will gladly accept it as well.”
“Good.” Jaehyun blew you a kiss. “I shall see you in the morning, Princess.”
“Of course, in the morning. Good night, my lord.”
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binnie-bitch · 3 months
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Fanfiction Commission
Offering Commissions again since I'm willing to write for a lot more groups now.
I usually write Member x Member, but I am open to write Reader Insert and OC Fics.
Groups I can write for: -Stray Kids -NCT -Zerobaseone -Evnne -One Pact -8Turn -Cravity -&Team -The Boyz -Boynextdoor
Content wise, I'm open to writing almost everything, from fluff to smut to dead dove, but I can’t promise that I will accept every commission. The two absolute no's are 'Major Character Death' and 'Underage'.
The Pricing is 1€ per 100 words. If you’re not sure how many words you want, we can talk about a rough price range. Payment will be discussed in DMs.
If anyone is curious about my writing, you can find my works here on tumblr and on AO3
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mae-gi-writes · 2 years
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DRIVER'S LICENSE || LEE HYUNJAE
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Driving lessons with your best friend seems pretty tame. Except, they're not.
Genre: bestfriends to lovers! Au, part-time uber driver hyunjae, young adult! Au, mentions of sexual harrassment.
Words: A lot.
A/N: I KNOW ITS BEEN SO LONG BUT I SWEAR I AM STILL WRITING. i just have no time to be constant so i apologize for my sporadic updates :( enjoy this one! It's a cute one!
—————
"You can cry if you want."
You hope the glare you throw Hyunjae over the rim of your glasses is enough to shut him up. But like anything else, Hyunjae never does know how to shut up about stuff. Any stuff, for that matter.
He babbles on, unknown to the murderous intent forming at the back of your head, "I mean, you could have done all you could but driving is hard. You're not a loser for failing and you're definitely not a loser for crying about it."
"I swear I will throw this tomato at your face if you don't stop talking," you warn, hand already reaching for the tomato beside your chopping board. You're in the middle of cooking up a simple lentil and tomato stew, not bothered with your usual meat and vegetables combo that work supposed wonders on your diet and lifestyle (whatever the fuck that means).
You're usually not this carefree when it comes to food. You always have your meals planned for the week, the weekend, the snacks, everything in between. You've grown up this way, counting nutrients and macros and micro calories until it comes as natural as breathing does.
But you're a mess right now. You're a mess and you don't give a flying pig's fuck whether you're eating all the right nutrients for the day. Not today. Nope.
It's just... you do know that driving isn't everything. It's not. There's wars happening, there are people losing their lives, there are countries struggling to keep their finances afloat and families who are counting every penny they're making just to make it through another day. And when you put things into perspective, you can't help but think of how privileged you are to be even standing here, in a flat of your own with food you buy with your own money. Your family is safe, your family is healthy. Honestly, what more do you need?
And yet.
And yet.
That driving test had been so important to you. You'd already put aside some money to buy this second-hand toyota vitz that you've had your eyes on for over six months, you want -- no, crave -- this desire to drive. To be free.
And the worst part -- you could've done so much better than this. Than whatever had happened on the road this morning.
"What mistakes did you make? You're allowed up to three mistakes until you fail right?" Hyunjae asks as he lifts himself up from the couch, where he's been stationed for the past hour, "do you need help by the way?"
"No I don't," your scowl deepens despite knowing Hyunjae and the driving test are not related. Not onr bit, "I crossed the yellow box at the intersection. And I turned a little too aggressively apparently. And then there was stupid stuff too, like switching lanes. I was too close to the white line as I waited."
"Bullshit."
"See?! It is bullshit! I mean, the errors are so ambiguous!" Your hands shoot up in exasperation, "I don't get it! And some people pass on the first try."
Hyunjae can't help but snort, "like me."
"You don't have to rub that in my face."
You're too busy sliding in your tomatoes into the pot to notice Hyunjae's figure moving over to stand next to you, until your elbow bumps into his stomach.
"Ouch," he grimaces.
"What do you expect? You're in my way," you answer back with a roll of your eyes. You stir the pot, the aroma lifting up in the air and making you sigh in bliss. Hyunjae does the same. He's always loved your stews.
"I can help you out."
You don't look at him as you ask, "with what?"
"With the driving."
This time, you look up at him, browa furrowed in confusion, "you? Helping me with my driving? You barely even have time for yourself."
"I've cleared up my schedule for uber so I'm free on Wednesdays and Fridays. And the weekend."
"I thought you needed money," you turn to fetch two bowls from your cabinet, only to see them in Hyunjae's hands, ready to be served.
"I do, do you wanna pay me?"
You punch him lightly in the arm, grabbing one bowl at a time to serve a decent helping and of course, adding extra chicken pieces to the said young man's bowl.
"Are you serious?" You can't help but ask because in all honesty, Hyunjae ia a good driver, "I can definitely pay you...if that's not too much trouble for you."
"It'll be more fun to hear you complain while driving, that's for sure."
You show him the middle finger in response, which makes him laugh before following you to the dining table cramped with two chairs.
"So is that a yes?" Hyunjae asks with a mischievous gleam that makes him look like a little kid.
You throw him a pointed look, "I'm going to ask you again: you're sure about this?"
"Hundred percent."
"Do I get a discount?"
"No."
"Why?" You can't help but whine out, leaning over the table to give him the best puppy eyes you can muster up, "I can pay you back in free meals."
A spark lights up Hyunjae's eyes. He grins, cocking his head to the side, "now that, is a good deal."
---
"Watch out for the sidewalk--No! Don't--Don't turn!"
It's your first lesson with Hyunjae and it has been a week since the start of your small arrangement. It's Friday afternoon and you'd skipped your business management class in favour of driving around the neighbourhood with Hyunjae. Him, on the other hand, had cleared his schedule of any uber activities. And for that you're grateful.
However, it seems that your best friend has a temperament. And you're not quite sure whether that works at your advantage or not.
"Jesus Y/n," Hyunjae's breathing hard by the time you swerve back into your respected lane, chest heaving up and down and if you watch closely enough, you're certain you can spot the sweat dripping down his face, "no wonder you didn't pass your driving test."
"Thanks Hyun, that's exactly what I wanna hear right now," you retort.
"What do you want me to say? That you're an excellent driver when you're a danger hazard?!"
"Well no--but a little support would've been nice!"
He snorts at that, arms crossing over his chest, "you don't need support. You need someone to actually show you how to drive," a pause as you hit the brakes at the red light before you. That gives him a little moment to breathe. You see him turn towards you at the corner of your eye, "why didn't you continue with that driving school you used to go to?"
Instantly, your mood turns sour.
You don't answer. The light turns green and with a little more force than necessary, you swivel to the right, following the traffic crawling up one of the main streets.
"Hellooo," Hyunjae, however, doesn't pick up on the sudden change in mood, "you could at least not ignore the person trying to help you out here."
"I didn't have time."
You do know that your voice is coming out colder than expected. You hope Hyunjae is too oblivious to care.
"In any case -- oh, go. The car's moving," he directs you forward upon seeing the traffic ease up, "slowly, make sure to check out the upcoming red light. They dock marks when it turns yellow."
"That's such bull."
"Uhuh. Go right. Keep your vehicle steady," his hand rests on yours, gently turning the wheel and navigating you into the right position. You notice how big his hand is in comparison to yours.
You're turning onto another side road when you aak, "Has your hand always been this big?"
"Pfft. Honey, my hands have always been big," he wriggles his brows, "if you know what I mean."
You shove him, "dick."
You try not to let yourself think about what happened in driving school back then. The memory still haunts you even to this day, despite you brushing it off and hoping to carry this secret to your grave. There are many things you regret in life. One of them is continuing on with it despite of what was happening. How stupid--pathetic--an idiot.
Hyunjae, of course, doesn't know anything.
You meet him a few days later for another lesson in the heart of the city and you're waiting where driving school students usually do, when your eyes suddenly spot a familiar green vehicle in the distance.
You freeze.
It's him.
You blink. A shiver runs down your spine. Fear.
A hand on your thigh. You, unmoving, terror spreading like venom.
A voice in your ear. Disgusting.
The car turns and a gasp leaves you upon spotting his face. The world suddenly comes to a halt, blood freezing and air suddenlt getting sucked out of your chest.
It would have been impossible to avoid him forever. But you hadn't expected to see him again this soon.
You feel trapped. You can't breathe. Your legs feel like cement, stuck to the ground.
Your voice. You can't speak, you can't--
"Y/N."
You jump. Swivel around to see Hyunjae waiting for you with a confused furrow to his brow. He's looking pretty good, with a simple white shirt, checkered shirt thrown over the top, and dark jeans and sneakers to match.
"I've been calling your name for ages, you asleep or wha--" his words are cut off when you stride towards him, grab his arm to pull him away. Away from him. Away from all the mwntal pictures flashing before your eyes.
"Y/N?" He's calling after you, worry now lining his voice, "what-- what's wrong?"
"I--nothing I just--where's your car?"
"Y/N--Hold on. Wait," he grabs your shoulders, turning you around with a firm grip that's impossible to escape and though you avoid his eyes, drop your gaze to the ground, you know from the way he's tightened his hold that it hasn't escaped his notice.
He waits though. Until your door is closed, until you're already pulling out of the parking lot without a backwarda glance. Until you're driving down the road at full speed as if you're on the run for your life.
You don't know how much time has elapsed until Hyunjae calls your name. Once. Twice.
"Y/N."
"What?"
"Can you pull over to the side?" He points towards a free spot where another car is pulling out. You diligently slide in, and Hyunjae grabs onto the wheel for assistance. He makes sure you're well settled into your space before turning to you in a way that makes you squirm in place.
"Care to tell me what that was about?" His tone is serious, causing you to look away and swallow hard.
Of course he deserves explanations. It's just that... you don't know how to tell him.
"And don't tell me it's nothing," he cuts off your mental scramble with a finality to his tone, "you can't hide that from me Y/N. Who do you take me for?"
Crap.
"There's nothing to say," you lie. But it's useless, because Hyunjae has seen the fear stretching across your face, has noticed the terror glazing your eyes over.
His hand grasps your wrist, a familiar action he does whenever he tries calming you down, "tell me, Y/N."
You can't keep it in any longer.
You break.
You tell him everything. About how it had started with comments on your appearance at first, how pretty you looked today, how beautiful the clothes fitted on your body. You'd thought it weird but not weird enough to stop. So a polite thank you was your only response. Apparently, that had only escalated from there. His hand, venturing under the wheel to touch your knee, then slide up your thigh. And you, driving, terrified that doing something about it would be overreacting. Was it overreacting? You weren't sure. Of anything. And you were ashamed.
So ashamed.
The more you speak, the more tense Hyunjae seems to become. His jaw clenches and he fists his hand so hard in his lap that his knuckles turned white. He doesn't look at you, instead keeps his gaze on the vehicle before him and finally, when you're done and drying your eyes with the edge of your sweater while avoiding his at all costs, Hyunjae's hand slowly slips up to your shoulder and pulls you in.
He hugs you to his chest, not minding that your bodies were separated by a joystick. He tucks your head into the crook of his neck and it was only upon noticing the trail of tears on his shirt that you realize you're crying.
"I'm sorry," you attempt to pull away but Hyunjae halts you, arms locked into an iron cage of comfort that leaves you no choice but to melt even further into him.
When he speaks next, his voice is filled with silent, seething rage.
"How long has this been going on for?"
It scares you. And yet, the concern, the security that pools around you in layers of warmth in the form of Hyunjae's figure. He makes you feel safe. Heard. And most of all, not judged.
You shake your head. Time had blurred the moment this started happening. As if a recurring nightmare that would go on and on without end.
"Did he do anything else, Y/N?"
You don't answer, hiding your face into Hyunjae's neck.
"Y/N. I need to know. Did he do anything else?"
Maybe it's the way Hyunjae speaks that make you shiver. But you answer in a hoarse murmur:
"He--tried. But--I... I uhm, I--"
Hyunjae hugs you even tighter in response, though you can feel the physical tension running through his veins. He's burning, ready to explode and knowing Hyunjae, he's bound to get into a reckless fight just because of you.
"I'll kill him." He grovels out.
His words make your heart jump. You tug onto his shirt in response, "don't," you murmur, pulling back to look up at him, "don't do anything stupid."
He doesn't respond, but you feel his jaw clench. Reaching up to cup his cheek and turning his face to yours, you continue, "it's not worth it. And it's already done."
"He hurt you."
"Well, technically--"
"He hurt you, Y/N." Hyunjae's eyes darken menacingly, "I don't--I can't--" taking in a breath, he exhales shakily as though trying to regain a sense of control, "I can't let that slide."
"You can't beat him up for it. There's no proof. And you can't complain either--"
Anger flares through his nostrils, "what about the other girls he did that to? Are you just going to let it slide?"
"It's not worth it, not for you. If anything, I'm the one that should do something about it, " you try catching his gaze with your eyes after a moment of deliberately ignoring them, he does. And the anguish, the amount of emotion running, swirling through them is enough to knock the air out of your chest in one single breath.
You don't know how long you stare up at Hyunjae, him doing the same. You don't notice that his other arm has fallen to your waist, gently caressing the bit of skin underneath your shirt. Nor do you notice the way his heart speeds up as if he's just run a marathon in five minutes.
"Will you?"
"Hm?" you blink back to focus. Since when has Hyunjae been so close to you? Absentmindedly, you hear a car honk in the distance to remind you that you're still in the parking lot, and this is definitely still a public space.
"Will you do something about it?"
"I--" suddenly, it feels too hard to breathe. Hyunjae probably notices your inner turmoil, for he shushes you, hand smoothing down your back and pressing his head atop yours.
"I'm sorry I raised my voice at you," comes his murmur.
You shake your head, "that's nothing to apologize for."
"I still think you should go and report him to the driving school company he works for, at least."
Biting down so hard on your lip that you taste blood, you allow your eyes to fall to Hyunjae's collarbones and notice, for the first time, that he's got a scatter of moles across his neck. Cute.
"I will," you mumble in hopes that he'll be convinced. He isn't.
He grips your shoulders, turns you to him and says, "I know it's hard and I don't want to push you to do something you don't want to. But for the goodness of everyone else's and for the safety of the other students that are taking his lessons, you should report him."
You lower your head to his shoulder, "...I will."
How you will do such a thing, you're not quite sure.
But one thing you do know is that you haven't felt more safe anywhere else but in Hyunjae's arms and you wish this, this feeling can last forever.
As if listening in to your thoughts, Hyunjae snuggles even closer to you, dares a small kiss to be pressed upon your forehead.
"What's that for?" Your words echo against his nape.
He shifts against you without answering, though you hear his heart rate pick up through his chest.
"What?"
"You just..." your voice trails off at the last two words, "kissed me."
"No I didn't."
"Hm. Could've fooled me."
----
Nothing else was said on the matter of the forehead kiss. You did, however, pluck up your courage with two hands and, with Hyunjae's help, deposited a formal comppaint to the police station. Thankfully, both officers are kind and gentle with you, listening in attentively and assuring you that they will be looking into the matter as soon as possible.
"Since when has this been happening?" One of them asked while the other has his pen ready in hand. Outside, you can hear the bustling of police officers mixed in with landlines ringing in caocphony. It's no wonder the police are always running around the clock.
Is this a mistake? Just a waste of time?
"Hey," Hyunjae's voice brings you back to reality, one of his hands coming to a rest upon your own before he squeezes it softly.
Your eyes flutter up to meet his, and his tender smile makes your ribs contract.
"You okay?" He asks.
You croak out, "yeah."
You've never seen auch an attentive side to him before so it does surprise you, the way he coaxes words out of you as you continue babbling on about what your driving instructor had done, the way he gently guides you down the corridor, away from the policemen, away from the thought of what you'd just confessed in your own words.
He pushes open the door so that you can step outside and you take a shaky inhale, not noticing the way your best looks at you as if you've just opened up a whole entire universe to his eyes. A universe at which you're the center.
"Thank you," you can't meet his eyes. Not after everything that had just transpired.
"You don't have to thank me, Y/N."
"I do. It--that--I--" you stutter over your words as emotion catches in your throat, "I never would've been able to do that without you."
A few beats of silence pass, in which he gazes down at you, and you back up at him. Something stirs in the air, as new as a baby bird shaking its wings, as new as a butterfly breaking out of its cocoon for the first time.
His hand reaches for yours, pulls you closer until you have no choice but to look up at him, and the depth in his eyes makes your heart jump up to your throat.
"Proud of you," he murmurs.
You can't help but smile, "shut up."
"I really am," he pushes a strand of hair off your face. You feel the heat of a blush creep up your face. What? This is Hyunjae, the guy who'd make fun of you because you'd always sleep with your mouth open!
"W-We should probably head back." You stammer and proceed to side-step him. He lets you, allows the distance to grow once more between your bodies as you walk up to the said car. Nothing else is said during the drive back home and, despite the heavy realization that maybe you have a teeny tiny crush on your best friend, you try not to give that away when you say goodbye with a small sidehug.
"I'll see you around," you'te already gathering your things, scrambling to get out and away from him as soon as possible.
You don't even wait for him to say bye.
----
You could've imagined it.
The forehead kiss.
His hand holding yours.
The way he looks at you.
The more you try to push it out of your mind, the more Hyunjae seems to come haunt you.
You continue your driving lessons once per week, which does not help matters in the least. It's as if you brought your best friend back and yet, he'd do something like put his hand on the back of your seat, or place his hand upon yours to steer you in the right lane. More often than not, Hyunjae would lean over to direct you and you'd get a whiff of his deodorant. And oh my, had he always smelled this good?
"Earth to Y/N."
"What?" Your head whips up only to catch Hyunjae's eye as he strides to you. His hair is parted sideways this morning and he can almost pass as a model with those tight-ass jeans, black v-neck and metal chain hanging just above his collarbone.
The thing is, you've known Hyunjae all your life. You know that he knows how good he looks. And he'd played with those cards without fault today apparently.
" it's the D-Day," he grins wickedly, "how do you feel?"
"Like I'm about to throw up."
He takes a seat beside you, "you drive well. You just have to be careful of your turns and that you don't run over any red lights."
"But it's so hard! And you know how unlucky I am when it comes to that!"
"You'll be fine," he holds your gaze, "I promise."
You were not.
It's only fifteen minutes later that you step out of the police car, tears stinging the back of your eyes as you make your way back to the police station as shame crawls all over your tummy. The police woman recites off all your mistakes but you're barely listening, the rush in your ears so loud that you only nod in response to all her complaints and by the time you do make it out of the police office, you're disoriented, lost. Unsure of what to do.
You find Hyunjae or rather, he finds you in the middle of the parking lot, glassy-eyed and flushed to your toes.
"I'm such a loser," is the first thing you say to him, almost laughing at yourself. Except this situation is not funny at all and you soon realize that you’ll have to do this again, and again, and again, until you somehow miraculously get this stupid piece of paper that doesn’t even mean much in the real world. That fact alone is frustrating in itself and you swear you almost break down right then and there, if not for Hyunjae’s firm grasp on your shoulder, propelling you out of your thoughts.
“You did nothing wrong,” he looks into your eyes, searches your gaze until he’s sure you’re finally looking at him and not through him, “and we’ll keep trying until you get it. There’s no shame in failing a driving test Y/N. You know that right?”
“For you probably,” you mumble.
He pulls you into a hug then, as if that might solve all the problems that seem to burst out of your life. Though it does calm you down, the way his chest presses against yours, the way his warmth engulfs your entirety, like you can drown yourself in him if you really want to.
You briefly wonder whether he’s aware of the effect he has on you, but decide against saying anything. You’ve said enough for today.
So you only hold on to him even tighter if that’s possible before breathing in deep. Hyunjae’s scent fills your nose and you’d be a liar to say that it doesn’t ease your worries, because it does.
You’re not sure how you feel about that.
The more you try to push away thoughts of your best friend being what people called "boyfriend material", the more his presence haunts you. It's impossible to go five minutes without thinking of the way his body feels when he leans over you, or the way his hand covers yours, or the way butterflies erupt in your chest when he looks at you for a little too long.
To the point where it annoys you, grates at your nerves. So annoying.
It seems though, that fate isn't on your side, when you bump into him on your way home from work.
"Hello stranger," his face eases out into that mischievous grin that makes your cheeks warm. You look away, as if burnt, "you've been avoiding me."
"I've been busy," you retort, "and I have other friends."
"But I'm your favourite, right?" He wriggles his brows as he follows you to your said bus stop. It's the middle of the week, around five in the evening, and the place is void from people.
That doesn't help. That leaves you alone with him. You can't have that.
"What's going on with your driving? You haven't asked to meet up after your test," Hyunjae asks.
"Ugh I don't even want to think about it," you grumble.
"You don't want to pay me anymore?"
"Stop being so dramatic, Hyunjae. You know that's a lie."
"So you're avoiding me then?"
"What makes you think that?" You scoff, looking down at the scuff of your shoes, at the end of your road. Anything to avoid Hyunjae if you can help it.
"Well you're not looking at me, for one."
You look up, frowning, "that's not--"
Hyunjae stepping forward to trap you against the wall of the bus stop has you yelping in shock. Dipping his head towards yours with a smirk that causes you to squirm in place, his arm presses against the wall to trap you in, heat against heat. Tempting.
Your head is buzzing. You feel dizzy. Light-headed.
Suddenly, it's hard to breathe.
“What are you—“ the words catch in the back of your throat upon seeing his face up close, so close to yours. You turn your head away, only for his fingers to grasp your chin, turn you back to face him with again, that mischievous glint in his eye, almost as if he’s a five year old boy ready to tease you senseless about your unexplainable crush on him—
You do not have a crush on him. As if on cue, you take a sharp breath.
Hyunjae notices, causing his smirk to grow wider, “so,” he says as casually as you would discuss today’s weather forecast, “my dear Y/N, I’d like to ask you something—“
“Please don’t.”
“—Because I think that you and I have—“
“Shut up Hyunjae—“
“—still have things to discuss and you—“
“I said shut up!”
“—do you like me like I do?”
You’re about ready to kick him at this point, to throttle him with bare hands. That is, until the weight of his words sink in.
You blink up at him, momentarily lost. Did you hear him correctly or is that another figment of your imagination? Because in a universe tucked away from this reality, you and Hyunjae are — well, if you’re being honest with yourself — fully immersed in each other’s being. It’s a pathetic secret that you’ve merely realized was true a few nights ago as you lay in bed, wide-eyed and staring up at the ceiling, and wondered why your heart beat so fast whenever Hyunjae’s name floats to mind.
Hyunjae prods the side of your hip, bringing you out of your sudden daze, “hello? Did you hear what I just said?”
“Wha—I—Did you—I—“ you can’t help but splutter out and making him chuckle deeply as his hand reaches up to curl a strand of hair behind your ear. You feel the heat ignite within your chest, so tight and bundled up in a knot of fire that makes you squirm in place and — why the heck was he so close?!
Amused brown eyes gaze down at your flushed face, though his grip on your chin is firm, stopping any attempts for you to hide your face somewhere, anywhere. His body, his warmth, you can feel it. The heat that buzzes between you, a tension that’s been pulled tight like an elastic band and ready to pop at any given moment.
“Hey,” Hyunjae murmurs.
You bite your lip. Your eyes flit to his, then back up to his.
Your heart lurches at the tenderness swimming in his orbs.
“Wh-What?” Your heart is pounding.
“Are we…” Hyunjae searches your gaze for a moment as the tension wraps around you in a tighter embrace, “…can I…kiss you?””
You don’t know what to say. You don’t know what you can say to such words, except that there’s no denying the jolt that your heart gives, practically jumping up your throat as it tightens. Which is why you blurt out the first thing that comes to mind:
“Are you flirting with me?”
Hyunjae blinks. You blink back. Then, horror seeps in.
Oh no.
Oh no no no—
But he bursts out laughing, “yes Y/N, I am — well, no — I’m trying to flirt with you. I have been trying for ages now.”
“Stop shitting me.”
“I swear it on my mother’s head that I am not shitting you,” Hyunjae’s hand releases your chin to raise it at his side and despite yourself, you miss the warmth of his fingertips, “ask the rest of the boys if you’re not convinced.”
“Is this why you wanted to give me driving lessons?”
“Well…” He grimaces, “partly, yes. But I also genuinely wanted you to pass your driving test.”
That earns him a hit on his arm, causing him to yelp, “ouch! What? What did I do? I helped you!” He whines out like a kicked puppy and though you’re aware that Hyunjae is a little too close and that it should’ve made you more uncomfortable that he’s in your personal space, you can’t help but laugh at his expression. He joins you soon enough, all grins and smiles. His free hand absentmindedly drops to your hip to draw comforting circles.
Your small moment is broken when a bus pulls up. Your bus. And though you should’ve been more surprised when the said young man decidedly hops on to accompany you home, there’s something that shifted in the air between you. The ball is in your court now, you know Hyunjae feels and there’s a warm glow that seems to spread across your heart and tingle at your fingertips the more time you spend pondering over the thought that yes, you want this. You want this as much as he does. Maybe more.
He goes back to being your best friend during the bus ride home and it isn’t until he walks you up to your apartment door that nervousness creeps up on you again.
“Thanks for dropping me off. You didn’t have to do that,” you tell him.
He answers with a raised brow, “I only accompanied you home because I’m waiting for an answer. A positive one, hopefully.”
“What answer?” You play dumb.
“Don’t make me repeat it again. My ego’s already gone under the bus. Do you really have to do that?”
You only grin up at him.
He sighs, “fine. Y/N, I like you and I’d like to know if you like me too because otherwise I don’t think we’ll be able to be best friends anymore. On top of that, I don’t think I can keep the promise of being your best man at your wedding—“
Your hand clamps upon his t-shirt and you tug him down, cutting off his speech as your lips press against his in a short, sweet kiss.
Hyunjae’s eyes are glazed over when you pull back, looking at you as if he’s seeing you for the first time.
“Wow.” He murmurs, and before you know it he’s wrapped his arms around you, pushed you back against your front door, before his lips lock upon yours.
Wow is an understatement.
His mouth, so gentle yet firm, opens up against yours. His arms firmly press you to his chest and your hands flatten against his t-shirt, instinctively curling into the material when he parts your mouth and kisses you till your head starts spinning. You never would’ve taken Hyunjae for a gentle kisser, but the way he handles you with care — cupping your face with one hand to tilt your head sideways — causes tingles of excitement to shoot down to your stomach down to your toes.
Every color of the rainbow imaginable bursts behind your lids the more you kiss like you’ll never kiss again for the rest of your life. Pressing you against the door, a gasp suddenly falls from your mouth upon feeling his chest against yours, and that urges his tongue to slip past your lips into your mouth. You moan softly, the slightest of sounds that rumble at the back of your throat, but Hyunjae’s satisfied growl is enough to send your stomach cartwheeling with fireworks. His hands pull you even more insistently, slipping past the material of your shirt to rest against your naked skin, leaving you gasping against him as your hands slip up to the back of his head to fist into those gorgeous locks of his.
Hyunjae grunts in pleasure, tongue tangling up with yours and one hand tracing random shapes along the small of your spine. One of his legs slip between your thighs, causing you to gasp at the sensation. His only response is to drop a hand to your thigh and before you realize what he’s doing, he’s pulled your leg up to hook it around his waist as another soft growl of satisfaction rumbles from the back of his throat.
You can't hold back the whimper escaping you as he traces patterns up your clothed thigh.
"Hyunjae," you gasp out when your lips disentangle so that his dot a line of kisses down to your jaw, "you--"
You never thought of your best friend, capable of doing such things.
You never thought of your best friend, and doing such things with him.
It causes heat to spring up your entire body. It feels all kinds of wrong and all kinds of right at the same time. But one thing for sure is that it feels good. Too good.
He grumbles out something that sounds like, "don't move," mouth echoing kisses along your neck. He brushes along a sensitive spot, causing you to let out a sharp breath and grasp onto his shirt like he's the last thing keeping you afloat.
Pulling back only for air, you're met with his brown eyes filled with such naked affection that makes your tummy twist inside out.
Your nose brushes against his tenderly. With affection.
And when he gives you a smile, it is one filled with a feeling so exhilarating that it knocks the air out of your chest.
He's so beautiful.
"I--" you're at loss for words. What to say when there's nothing that can match the way he makes you feel?
And when he speaks next, his alto has dipped to a murmur:
"I like you."
Your breath catches in your throat.
"I mean, I wouldn't be kissing you if I didn't," he chuckles nervously, pulling back and allowing his hold on your thigh to fall slack, "I couldn't help myself, sorry, maybe I should've asked--"
You tug him to you and kiss his next words away, and the young man moans, kissing back hungrily, even following your lips once you pull back.
"I would've punched you if I didn't like you," you whisper.
As if unconsciously, your hand reaches up to his cheek, thumb stroking over his cheekbone.
He shivers at your touch, leans into it before closing his eyes, "so...you think we can go out for a coffee sometime?"
You can't help the smile that breaks over your face, "if you let me drive us there."
328 notes · View notes
bbangrictea · 2 years
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the boyz reacting to you calling them "oppa"
genre: pairing gn reader x the boyz members; reaction; fluff
warnings: none i guess
notes: it’s been a while since i last posted here but here i am!!! hope you enjoy this little reaction with the boyz. (image is not mine - found it on pinterest)
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• SANGYEON: i think he wouldn't bother much and say anything but deep down he likes it, even though he would prefer you to call him honey or dear (idk i just get so many husband material vibes from him don't mind me ☠☠)
• JACOB: i don't think he would be bothered too but i guess he prefers you to call him by name or your own nicknames which he thinks it's more fun 🥰
• YOUNGHOON: trust me, this boy would be all shy when you do it - specially in public -  and you would find him so cute whenever it happens. but in everyday life you wouldn't do this, it's more a thing between you two (only for teasing purposes).
• HYUNJAE: now this boy right here, would love seeing you blush when you call him like that and would appear at some situation asking you to call him oppa just to tease you which would lead to you teasing each other non stop or you beating on his shoulder asking to stop 🤪
• JUYEON: ok as you may have guessed, juyeon would ask you to do it one time but when you do it he would think twice because he would be all embarassed when you say those words and just ask you to call him by name/nickname.
• KEVIN: if you call him that unexpectedly he probably would look at you like this 🤨😳 but then he would: 1) enjoy 2) end up teasing you 3) both.
• CHANHEE: honestly, i think chanhee would probably laugh at you or roll eyes at this situation and then say "what are you saying?" or in the best of situations he would say "look how cute you all blushed calling me oppa" and then hug you while he bursts into laugh.
• CHANGMIN: at first he would be like "ok i guess 😳😳" but then he would get embarassed and cover his eyes with his hands while laughing (please he is such a baby) and would say that he can't with you calling him like this - in a cute way of course.
• HAKNYEON: please juhak is a baby!!! he would probably be a little shy and undercover this with his gummy smile and blushy cheeks, but then he would say that it's not necessary, only if you want
• SUNWOO: another one from teasing line. one day, when you ask him something he would get you off guard and say "i only give you this if you say please oppa" - please this boy would enjoy it so much honestly.
• ERIC: he would ask you one time to say it but then he would think it's strange for you to call him like that so he would say for you to call him babe only 😭🥺 but sometimes, when he wants to tease you he appears with this idea again which leads to lots of teasing and laughing.
266 notes · View notes
ashonheavenscloud · 5 months
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⋆。𖦹°⭒˚。⋆ navigation ⋆。𖦹°⭒˚。⋆
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─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
☆ about me/faqs
☆ masterlists:
seventeen, p1harmony, stray kids, nct, the boyz
☆ coming soon
☆ ramblings
☆ asks/replies
☆ archived writing acc: @starryychan-archives
☆ latest post
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
IMPORTANT: please read my blog rules under the about me/faqs post before sending any requests/asks!
minors, please DO NOT interact with my account as i will be posting/reblogging nsfw/18+ works
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hcuyk · 14 days
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[ 18+ ] . . . . . . . . OUR INFERNO MASTERLIST
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⧉ OUR INFERNO // elaborates the complexities within a relationship—the spark, the blaze, the pain. your love with hyunjae is a never ending fire; it's something so strong, so beautiful and powerful, that it suffocates you both into believing that your relationship would last, only for it to go down in flames ( ☄︎ )
╰ · · FROM THE BACK TO STRANGERS COLLECTION
› 〉 PAIRING // nonidol!hyunjae x fem!reader
› 〉 GENRE // varies every chapter : includes but is not limited to — high school au, college au, single dad au, enemies to fwbs to lovers to strangers to fwbs to ????, potential bad ending, smut, fluff, angst
› 〉 WARNINGS // varies every chapter : 18+ MDNI : includes but is not limited to — excessive profanity, cheating, toxic relationship(s), underaged drinking, these two are corruption itself : NSFW TAGS will vary and be stated in every chapter
˖⋆ STATUS ☆ ONGOING
˖⋆ STARTED ☆ 041424
⋮≡ [ OUR INFERNO EXCLUSIVE ] @deoboyznet @iloveu143 @flwoie @sanaxo-o @blue-rainydays
˖⋆ LAST UPDATED ☆ 041424
˖⋆ WORD COUNT ☆ 19k
⋮≡ [ PERMANENT TAGLIST ] @armysantiny @stealanity @zzoguri @nyujjan @tinisprout @the-kpop-simp @sunwoosberrie @winterchimez @mamuljji @prodsunwoo — lmk if you're a minor/uncomfortable with nsfw and i'll remove you from the taglist for this series!
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||| ⧉ . . PART ONE: CHASING THE SPARK (THE FIRE TETRAHEDRON)
— —|— — i. FUEL, OXYGEN, AND HEAT
(일 ✧ 0001) — 4/14 — 19k
despite being your greatest archnemesis/rival/enemy/frenemy/whateverthefuck he was, hyunjae had always been by your side. that changed when your boyfriend was brought up, creating a newfound rift in your whateverthefuck relationship with hyunjae
— —|— — ii. THE FOURTH COMPONENT
— —|— — iii. CORRUPTION’S AFTERMATH
||| ⧉ . . PART TWO: LETHAL INCARCERATION (THE REIGNITION)
— —|— — i. SMOKE INHALATION
— —|— — ii. ASPHYXIA
— —|— — iii. VICIOUS TEMPTATION
NAVIGATION | THE BOYZ MASTERLIST
╰ · · AUTHOR'S NOTE : vae's nsfw debut let's hit it | lovely credits to my beta readers — @drunkdrazed @winterchimez @stealanity @simpforsunwoo
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loverseon · 3 months
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SOUL SWAP .ᐟ teaser one
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pairing female reader x ???
genre royal au, fantasy, kinda mystery ish
synopsis you wake up in a bedroom thats not your own. curtains that arent your own, bed thats not your own. a life thats not your own. no one around you seems to take you very seriously when you try and explain that youre… not exactly who they think you are. but hey, who are you to complain when everywhere you look theres a handsome man who wants you?
word count around 3k for this teaser, full fic tbd (around 20k+)
warnings none for this teaser angst, fluff, themes of death, suggestive (tbz being sexy what can i say) cursing, slow burn, gradual pairing reveal, will add more tags as we progress
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part i. the dream of the golden bedroom
You woke with a startling gasp.
The bedsheets clenched tightly in your grasp; a lick of sweat travelling down your temple as you heave against the headboard. You could see the sliver of sunlight against the curtains through your closed eyes, could hear the gentle song of birds tittering outside – could feel a slow breeze snaking around your ankles and feet as they hung out of the blanket. 
The dream had felt so vivid, so alive, that you swore you could still feel the biting wind against your neck and the sea in your hair. You counted your breathing as it tumbled off your tongue, one… two…
You were quite often purged with such coloured dreams, so waking with a start was not too uncommon a feeling, but there was something so gripping about this one that it had the room spinning beneath your eyelids as you grounded yourself. 
Water. 
Water was the best call for your dried throat, as it felt as though you had been screaming and it was raw and punished. The quilt caught on the mattress as you kicked it off your feet, placing them on the ground and hauling your body up and off the bed. The wooden grit of the floorboards rubbed against your cold toes and, when you searched to no avail for your slippers, you walked to the door, eyes still closed and head rattling. 
The birds were louder now, singing and wailing as the breeze began to pick up and the sun climbed higher into the morning sky. You rubbed your eyes, opening them blindly and feeling along the wall for the light switch next to the bedroom door. The handle hit you suddenly and you winced, getting more agitated at your blindness against the sun and at the fact that you still could not find that goddamn switch.
A sound other than the birds caught your attention; a high, snivelling noise that sounded like metal shearing against metal and you stopped in your tracks. You willed your eyes open wide and forced them to adjust to your surroundings, ignoring the trickling pain in the back of your head at the sudden brightness.
Your foot caught the bed frame as you stumbled backwards.
The first thing you noticed was the gold.
Strips and beams of it everywhere, shining and glowing under the early sun, casting echoes of light all around the room so much that you wondered how your eyes hadn’t shut again already.
Everything so bright everywhere: the furniture, the windowsills, the nails in the gritty wooden floorboards all dipped in gold.
Then it was the height; windows that stretched across high walls, touching the ceilings and bending around the front of the room. Drapes twenty feet high spilled from the peak of the glass, billowing down and curling like white fire against the floor.
You could feel your heart pricking, could hear it pounding as you stood, unmoving, amidst it all. The metal noise was further away now, but you could still make out its presence. Were those… scissors?
Surely you were still dreaming – a lucid dream. Far greater than any you’d had before, but not an uncommon occurrence.
With trepidation, you took a few steps closer to the behemoth windows, a shaky hand reaching out in front of you to pull back the curtain that seemed almost alive as it greeted you and tangled your arm in its fabric. 
The wind hit your hair, brushing it off your face as the birdsong appeared louder the closer you got to the window, before you finally peered out from behind the fabric and opened your eyes.
You couldn’t even feel yourself breathe.
Everywhere, as far as you could see, was green. Luscious grass and trees and meadows waved back at you, flowers of varying colours danced in the wind as you stood in silent awe. The metal shearing from before had returned to your ears and, as you looked down, you recognised them to be bush trimmers, and there, at their handle, was an arm attached, which led to a body – to a head, and you realised that there was an actual person you could see amongst all the foliage. 
He cut the bushes slowly, intricately, creating little swirling curls in the pattern of the leaves, humming gently as he wiped the sweat from his wrinkled brow. You threw yourself back away from the curtain before he had the chance to look up and see you, breath catching in your throat. 
This was definitely one of the more extravagant dreams you’d had in a while. 
With nothing else to do but gawk at the bedroom, you crept back onto the bed, burying yourself in the plushness and staring up at the ceiling. You then realised that even there had a mural – nature paintings with a little pathway running all the way through the artwork. 
There was a person painted on too, a little girl in a pink dress skipping her way through the pink roses with her pink shoes and, if you turned your head just enough, you could make out a large castle at the end of the pathway, all the way on the other side of the room. Like everything else, this palace was the epitome of nature: with green vines climbing its walls and those same pink flowers blooming at the foot of the castle entrance. 
Feeling yourself becoming lost in the detail of the artwork, your eyes began to droop once again, all thoughts being forgotten as the softness of the pillows created a cradle for your head, your breathing becoming lighter as –
A knock comes upon the door and you startle yourself awake.
“Your Highness?” A voice called from beyond the gold, “Are you awake?” 
At least the bedroom belonging to royalty explained the gold. 
You didn’t answer, instead letting the person on the other side dwell in your silence. This was your dream after all, you could let it go however you willed it to.
So you sunk your head further down into the sheets, enjoying the birdsong and the thick blankets that shielded you from the chill in the air, assuming the voice would leave you alone again. 
“Young mistress?” Your eyes opened again. Usually you had control over your maladaptive dreams, so why wasn’t this person going away?
“Your Highness, your breakfast is waiting.” They called softly with another rap at the door. 
A beat of silence.
“Your Highness?”
This time you got out of the bed, skulking over to the door and hesitating before opening it a peep to finally see who was disturbing your dream.
A fresh-faced, pale girl, not that much older than you, stared back at you with doe eyes. A small smile fell onto her lips as you looked at her, pushing slightly against the door to usher you out. “Cook has prepared your breakfast for you, Your Highness! Earlier than usual, as you requested.”
Her voice was softer without the wooden barrier of the door and, as she leaned in, you realised she smelled like freshly picked berries.
“E-earlier than usual?” Was what you managed to say in response.
Your throat was raw and you were surprised to hear your own voice – you talking wasn’t something that happened often in dreams.
The girl paused, confusion flickering across her features for a second before her smile reappeared against her lips.
“After your lesson yesterday you complained the whole way back!” she giggles, “you said something about food never being ready when you want it, so I asked Cook if he could prepare it before you woke up so you wouldn’t have to wait!”
Now things were getting weird.
A lesson yesterday?
You’d never once had a dream that referenced something that had previously happened.
Everything was always happening in the present as you were dreaming it. They never had any kind of backstory or dimension to them before, just scenarios where you were living out a scene as it happened.
Before you get the chance to speak, another voice cuts through the silence.
“Y/N.” It calls, and you immediately feel the hair prick up at the back of your neck.
The girl in front of you lowers her head slightly at the voice just beyond the hall, just beyond your line of sight, and begins to retreat away from the door.
“I’ll see you at breakfast,” she squeaks, and then she’s gone.
“Y/N!” The voice says again, louder and closer. You’re about to place a hand on the door, to close your eyes and try to wake up when a much older woman steps into the bedroom.
Her shoes are tall and pointed, the body leading up and disappearing under the trim and lace of her green dress as she stands with one hand pointing at your chest.
Her hair dark and ebbing, pin-straight against the broad of her shoulder, save for a singular piece curled in a little ringlet at the base of her neck.
Her stark beauty pierces you in your spot.
“Darling,” she begins again, “whatever happened to you waking up early to catch breakfast?”
The petname eases your paralysis, but you don’t quite let your stiffness go yet and the tall woman sighs, almost floating as she moves around you to sit on the unmade bed.
“The physician told you that it would be good for your heart to stop getting up so late. I thought you promised me you’d start listening to him?”
Compared to her, you had not a single ounce of grace as you croaked back a small ‘what?’, continuously unmoving in your place by the door, a tired hand still holding the handle.
She sighs and runs deft fingers through her hair with a smile. Honestly, her beauty was unlike anything you’d seen before, and if you continued to gape at her you feel like your heart would start to become nervous.
“Come on,” she begins again, “make haste and get dressed. I’ll send in your ladies to prep you for the day.”
The woman goes to leave for the door, her hair trailing behind her as she walks back past you. With a soft hand against your cheek, she says, “I hope you haven’t forgotten about what today will mean for you.”
And then she’s gone. The door closes swiftly behind her, leaving you alone once more, with only the birdsong and the drifting sound of metal snipping in your ears.
What on earth is going on?
This dream has already gone on for longer than you’re used to, and the sensations are so intense you definitely could have mistaken them for reality, especially when a moment later, half a dozen women come piling into the room with dresses and jewellery and little ornate containers in their busying hands.
You don’t even get the chance to say anything before they’re all over you — fingers tangling in your hair, pulling and tugging against your clothes.
“What are you doing!” you say, feeling awfully bare in your new state. Without the warmth of your clothes, you can feel the biting chill of the air, the early sun doing nothing to fight against the new coldness in the room. “Stop it!”
Two of these new girls look at each other with a knowing glance and you can’t help but feel confused when they continue to pull at your hair, scraping it up and high off your face.
“What’s going on?” you cry, but it goes ignored as the swarm still continues to decorate you.
One of them walks over slowly, stopping behind you, just at the base of your feet, and you can feel cold fingers grazing against your neck. You shiver at the feeling.
Are your dreams usually this real? Can you normally feel the temperature of someone’s hand in them?
After a while of fussing, it all stops.
Your eyes had closed at some point during this, and all you can hear is their little shocked gasps and whispers and giggles as you assume they marvel at their creation.
You hear the floorboards creaking, and then the sound of something scraping across the wood before a small, “Open your eyes, Your majesty,” sounds across the room, “look in this mirror.”
When you do, it’s like nothing you’ve ever seen before.
There’s a dress slipping gently off the slope of your shoulders, high in the body before it waterfalls and tumbles all the way down until meeting the floor in swirling waves. It’s pink — the same ballerina hue you saw on the little girl in the ceiling mural, save for the white lace trim and pearl details that swan up and disappear in the fabric of the dress. The shoulders are puffed ever so slightly and curled underneath to taper against your waist, which is tucked in tightly by a pearled pink bodice.
In the mirror, you see half of your hair has been pinned back in gentle strands, with a few loose curls framing the edge of your face.
Speaking of, your cheeks are much softer than usual as you look into the mirror; your skin brighter and your eyes more lifelike than you’ve seen in a while.
The dark circles that usually pierced under your eyes have completely vanished, replaced instead with tiny layers of glitter that shine when you catch them in a ray of sunlight.
Thanks to existing in a struggling 21st century, your face has never looked as radiant as the one peeking back at you now.
It’s definitely your face, but you certainly wouldn’t recognise this woman if you saw her somewhere else.
The girl with the cold hands from before returns behind you again, and this time you’re able to catch a glimpse of her face in the glass — small, frail and beautiful, much like everything else you’ve seen in this dream so far.
She pulls something from one of the little boxes brought in before and, when you look back at yourself in the mirror, you see her placing the most beautiful golden necklace softly against your skin, clasping it closed before straightening it out in your reflection. Like the dress, the train of the necklace is created entirely of glowing pearls, shining in the sunlight and almost dripping onto your skin.
Right in the centre lies a small diamond, dainty and beautiful and matching the ones clipped into your ears.
Your eyes connect with the girl in the mirror, but it’s only a second before she’s looking away, head down and avoiding as she moves back to her spot with the other women.
“Now,” one of them says, clearly much older than the rest, “shall we take you down to breakfast?”
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Your shoes echo as the ladies tunnel you down a drawn out hallway. Every step you feel as though you’re spiralling, tumbling down and down and away as you’re pushed through the manor.
Even out here everything is stained gold, the light fixtures, the tables, the flowers. Towering portraits hung on every wall, their frames dripping and glittering in the candle lights.
Men and women of luxury stared back at you in their watercolours, eyes strong, powerful, and seemingly alive. 
The girls who accompanied you down this way hadn’t said a word throughout your journey, instead just holding the train of your dress as it floated behind you.
Honestly, the lace was starting to burn, and the bodice was getting too heavy against your waist but you felt like a princess, so you decided to humour the dream a little longer. 
You must have walked for at least ten minutes before you arrived at anything other than gold and prying watercolour eyes.
When the ladies come to a stop, your breath catches.
Before you stood two huge doors, pretty little lines carved into wood and stone and gold. These doors are huge, towering twin oaks that make your neck creak as you look all the way up, the tops of them barely visible before they disappear into the ceiling.
You had no idea it possible for two inanimate objects to make you feel this unimportant, this small, especially in your own dream, but you didn’t have very long to think about it before the eldest woman in the group is giving the handle a firm push and encouraging you inside with a hurried whisper.
The doors swallow you up and your eyes are assaulted by a flush of bright sunlight. Quiet chatter blooms in your ears, but it silences when you fall into the room. With a less than graceful stumble, you hunch your dress and flatten your skirts, straighten your back because you think it’s the right thing to do in this scenario, and open your eyes.
A mistake.
There, before you, is a small audience. Two of them you don’t recognise, but one is the unnerving beauty from before, the one who had fussed over your health and pulled you from bed.
A few seats to her left is a round little man, his jaw square and eyes downturned as they set on you. The hair on his head is tufting, and it takes all you have not to laugh a little at the crumbs lining the collar of his tunic as he looks so seriously at you.
As you turn your attention to the other side of the table, however, all pretence leaves your mind and you let your jaw drop comically.
That’s…
the most beautiful man you think you’ve ever seen.
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a/n DUN DUN DUNN hehe
thats it for the teaser! chapter one is still in the works so it doesnt have an estimated wc yet but bear with me!
thank u sm for all the support so far ><
until next time
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papermatisse · 7 months
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Whispers in the Dark || K.SW
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† genre: horror
† word count: 6.2k
† warnings: possession, graphic exorcism scene, violence, idk
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† synopsis: it started out small with whispers and body aches and things moving around. now he's a different person entirely—or perhaps not even a person.
† (a/n): it's a little very corny lol it's like every possession movie I've watched compiled into one fic of cliches. but yeah fun times 👍
† taglist: @scuzmunkie @hipsdofangirl @hydroyaksha
anthology | main masterlist
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It started out small with barely anything seemingly off or askew. Though then again, the two lovers were up in the clouds and blinded with joy over their new house, so maybe it was just them ignoring the blatantly obvious. But after a few days of settling in, things started to become weird.
There was always this feeling of being watched. Even as Sunwoo would leave for work in the mornings, (y/n) would still feel the eerie presence of someone lingering nearby, eyes trained on her at all times. Particular spots of the house felt most uncomfortable, and so she'd make it a point to avoid them at all costs. Sunwoo never commented on it either way, and so she chose to keep the anomaly to herself. Preserve the ever so fragile peace which remained in this place.
But then it began to manifest itself. She'd catch glimpses of someone—or something—in the corner of her eye, but when she'd turn, it'd be gone. It was always the same image as well. Of a dark, shadowed silhouette of a person. Brooding in the recesses of her house and her mind. The one who continuously watched her every move. Perhaps she was tired and seeing things, or perhaps she had grown more suspicious of the once happy abode the longer she stayed in it.
But those glimpses soon grew more obvious. More intense.
Looking up to see not only her reflection, but something else behind her. Waking up in the night to see a spot of the room darker than the rest. Walking up the driveway and seeing it staring out the window at her.
At this point, she had to voice her concerns to her boyfriend. It was beginning to eat away at her psyche, her body on constant alert and growing weaker with the incessant paranoia. Knowing that they weren't the only ones in their new home.
But Sunwoo was dismissive at best. Not only did he not believe her, but he also questioned her sanity, asked if she was truly okay or not. The way he pressed the back of his hand against her forehead as if ascertaining whether she truly was healthy or not was the breaking point for her, slapping away his hand with an unexpected yet not surprising harshness.
The next few days were rough, walking on eggshells around the other to prevent another fallout in what was supposed to be a happy time of their relationship. The occurrences continued to grow both in frequency and intensity, and (y/n) was merely forced to take it with a grain of salt. Sunwoo was unbothered by it all, his only turmoil seemingly being the strained relations he held with his significant other.
(y/n) took every opportunity she could to stay out of the house. If a friend needed help moving something, an invite to a company dinner was sent to her, a sale at her favorite store—she'd certainly be present there than at the inescapable and suffocating fortress of that house. Anything she could use to delay her inevitable return was taken advantage of.
Sure, it was petty. Sure, she should've pressed more in the communication department. Sure, she was perhaps adding fuel to the flames. But she couldn't find it in her to be any sort of accommodating. Not in that place. Not when this overwhelming and crushing weight seemed to fall upon her whenever she passed the threshold. The debilitating sense of dread seeping into her very being with every moment spent within those four walls. That constant, pervasive feeling of eyes lingering upon her no matter which way she turns.
Yes, she could've talked to Sunwoo more, but it was entirely incomprehensible to her how the man didn't seem to feel anything similar to her. In the sparing hours they spend together after work, he seems none the wiser. Nonchalant as he ambles about the place, this disconcerting rhythm in his mannerisms as if he's well acquainted, comfortable even, with the place already. Like he doesn't feel the heaviness that just hung in the air at all times or the sensation of being watched every moment you're conscious. He just seemed to be existing.
(y/n) could see their relationship growing more and more strained. Morning chitter chatter seemed to dwindle into mere formalities, saying what must be said before departing for work. Movie nights and shared dinners waned into her coming home as late as possible, and Sunwoo well asleep in their bed. They texted when they could, updating one another on their whereabouts and such, though that was about it.
Already, in a mere few weeks, the house had torn apart the seemingly sturdy foundation they once had established as a couple. Though her relationship began to be the last of her concerns.
Sunwoo grew more reclusive. On the days she'd find herself showing up home at an appropriate hour, she'd find him sitting in the living room. Alone, in pitch black, with no TV on whatsoever. It startled her every time, but upon seeing her, he'd stand and greet her as he usually does, though now in a more… empty, rehearsed way. They hadn't really been talking much, so it seemed reasonable for him to be awkward at this point.
They'd eat together, though Sunwoo began to eat less and less, the leftovers he'd leave on his plate growing by the day. In the mornings, he'd take a sip of his coffee before leaving for the day, abandoning his thermos upon the kitchen table. It concerned her, and when he was asleep one night, she found herself raising his shirt, seeing how his body was beginning to wither away. His skin grew pale, his torso defined with lack of fat, his face becoming gaunt. She felt her heart clench upon itself at the sight of her beloved Sunwoo suffering so, and in the back of her mind, she found herself blaming the household.
As much as she loathed it, as much as her body writhed upon itself at the mere prospect of it, (y/n) began spending more time at home. Feeding Sunwoo as much as she could, doting upon him with every fiber of her being, rambling on about whatever seemed to pass her thoughts. The warmth of his smile felt like a remedy to her tortured soul, a reminder of the good that lay within this cursed house. The way his laugh filled the empty space brought a sense of life that was once devoid in their living space. Sunwoo alone had the ability to make this house feel like home, and she remembered why she loved him so much.
After a few days of this new schedule, she was suddenly awoken in the middle of the night by an abrupt jostle in bed. Blearily, she squinted through the fluorescent lights pooling into the dark bedroom. Her mind was fogged by the haze of sleep, though she began to come to—began to process her surroundings. The source of the light deriving from the bathroom, the lack of Sunwoo beside her, and the terrible retching sound now filling the atmosphere.
(y/n) had rushed over as soon as she processed the situation, crouched beside Sunwoo with her hand along his back as he emptied the contents of his stomach. His body trembled beneath her touch, a sheen of sweat caking his skin. And as if to make matters worse, between the upheavals of his body, he managed to make out one word.
"Hospital."
A few traffic laws were broken in her haste to get to the hospital, but eventually she made it, dragging Sunwoo as much as she was able to into the emergency center. Though not even an hour later, they were being sent off.
"His vitals are fine. Perhaps a bit malnourished at the moment from his nausea, but he seems to be fine." The doctor explained, flipping through a stack of papers with a dismissive shrug. "Could be just a bad case of food poisoning, son. Just make sure to take it easy for the next few days. Try to avoid greasy and spicy foods. Drink lots of fluids. Make sure he's eating, though."
The drive home was silent. In regards to Sunwoo's case, (y/n) couldn't tell what he was thinking. He just sat there, staring ahead with this blank expression. In her stance, she was beyond worried for Sunwoo. She didn't understand what was going on. She didn't understand what was happening to her boyfriend at all.
The sight of the house made her stomach churn, grimacing as she reluctantly pulled into the driveway. It was silent between them, though only for a moment before Sunwoo was turning to open the door.
"S-Sunwoo!" (y/n) called out, arm shooting forth to grasp at the sleeve of his shirt. He froze, back facing her as his hand remained on the handle of his door. "Sunwoo, why don't we go someplace else? We can go to a hotel, call out to work in the morning, spend the day relaxing together. How does that sound?"
It was another bout of pure silence, Sunwoo as stiff as a board as (y/n) desperately clung to him. Eventually, he finally turned to face her, and she felt hope at first. Hope that he would listen to her. Hope that she'd be able to get to him for once. Hope that he'd be able to put an end to whatever was happening.
Then she got a look at his eyes.
Soulless, apathetic vats of darkness, glaring at her with such unbridled disdain that she found herself recoiling from him, hand retracting almost instantaneously as he cornered her with those heinous eyes of his. And for a moment, she didn't recognize what was in front of her. She didn't see Sunwoo at all. It was like an entirely different person in front of her.
But then he seemed to snap to, blinking away that momentarily evil farce for a neutral, tired look. Like a poor kicked puppy, Sunwoo came back to her, brows furrowed as he shook his head.
"Sorry, baby, I'm tired. I just want to go to bed for now. Maybe some other time." And then he slipped out of the vehicle. When the door closed behind him, she released the breath of air she'd been holding, pressing a palm to her racing heartbeat as her eyes trailed after Sunwoo sluggishly dragging himself back into their house.
What was that just now? What just happened? Sunwoo had never looked like that before. Sunwoo had never felt like that. It was strange, ominous even. As if some form of an anomaly that wasn't meant to be. As if something beyond her preconceived notion of reality. As if an invitation to begin questioning her world more than she already had been. Yet at a moment's notice, he had reverted right back, as if the turmoil he'd implemented into her mindset was for nothing.
Warily, she watched Sunwoo drag himself into the house, taking this moment to herself to recuperate from the whirlwind of a scene that had just transpired seconds before. He pushed open the door, stepping into the house in his weakened state, body slumping upon itself tiredly. And through the bleary image of her tear ridden eyes, she could see the vague, obscured shadow of a hand sliding upon Sunwoo's shoulder as he sunk into the inky blackness of the house's interior.
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That night seemed to be the mere precipice of the hell which would ensue shortly after their return. Sunwoo had gone back to how he had been before. Only eating a quarter of his plate before pushing it aside. He all but rejected every offer of food she presented him, even scowling at her when she tried hand feeding him. He grew thinner by the day, skin practically graying before her, like the rich saturation of his once tanned skin was all but dissipating into thin air. His eyes were sunken with defined bags weighing down beneath them. His lips were down turned most of the time—perhaps all the time. And the few moments of sleep he did manage to receive were disrupted by late night attacks.
Nightmares that left his body shaking, drenched in a cold sweat as he heaved for air. (y/n) would be there to comfort him, stroking back his hair and bringing him back to reality, only for him to pass out once again with no recollection of the night before. At times, she'd catch him staring off places. Sat up in the bed and staring at the corner of the room, leant against the couch and staring at a blank TV screen, standing in the bathroom and staring at his own reflection. She'd snap him out and he'd be off doing whatever he does, again with no acknowledgement of his prior behavior.
At this point, and with no other reasonable explanation for such behavior, (y/n) had taken it upon herself to begin searching for new apartments. They'd be tight on money, but it didn't matter. She'd give every earthly possession of hers to ensure Sunwoo was safe and secure. This house did not provide that certainty.
She spent her free day scrolling through housing selections online, marking whatever caught her eye before proceeding on to the next. Curled into the couch and bundled in a blanket, headphones in and playing one of her playlists. Completely oblivious to the world around her, including that of the presence of the boy now standing behind her.
"(y/n)."
The voice that suddenly spoke made her heart plummet to her stomach. A deep, resounding voice that penetrated through the music playing in her ear. A voice she never once heard a day in her life, now reverberating in her skull like an incessant drum with its residual echo haunting her.
Springing to her feet, she whirled around, breathless as if every ounce of air had been expelled from her lungs from the sheer terror of it all. Though upon turning to the source, a conflicted sigh of both relief and confusion seemed to subtly quell her alight nerves.
"Sunwoo," she huffed out, pressing a shaky hand onto her rapidly beating heart. Nervously, she laughed, trying to make sense of whatever just happened—sort reality from imagination. "You scared the shit out of me."
"What are you doing?" He asked, completely ignoring the state she found herself in. His eyes were zeroed in on the phone in her hands, its screen still displaying local listings for apartments.
"Nothing…"
His eyes lazily rolled up to meet hers, glaring at her through the dark circles that enshrouded his gaze. There was an irritated scowl across his face as his head crooked to the side.
"We both know you're lying." Slowly, he began to round the couch, and as he drew closer, (y/n) took tentative steps back, clutching the device to her chest as she remained focused on the man nearing. An intimidating tension settled in the air, the adrenaline from before kicking back up as she trembled under his stare. Like a scene of a predator approaching its prey, she found herself utterly cornered as he continued to loom closer until he finally stood right in front of her, caging her against the wall with his presence. "Your God doesn't like liars, now does he?"
Her tongue had gone numb, mouth dropped open as if wanting to speak, but her voice had left her. A chill ran down her spine as she stared into the eyes of the man before her. Someone she didn't even recognize anymore at this point.
In less than a second, she felt her phone snatched from her hands, yet before she could give any sort of reaction to the matter, Sunwoo threw the phone across the room. Helplessly, she watched as the device crashed into the wall with an agonizing crack as both the wall and the device seemed to crumble in unison onto the floor.
"Sunwoo…" Her voice was weak, coming out as a strangled whisper, looking desperately between what just occurred and to her boyfriend who merely stood there staring at the spot with an unreadable expression. Before anything else could be said, Sunwoo tore his gaze from the scene.
"I'm sorry." That was all he mumbled before he ran off to their bedroom, head downcast and steps brisk, leaving (y/n) there in a stupor reflecting on what just happened
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"Thank you for coming," (y/n) greeted the elderly woman as she hobbled into the home peacefully, a light grin and a curious eye taking in the place.
"Of course, dear. I don't get many house calls these days," She laughed casually. Her eye caught the hole in the wall, glaringly obvious amongst the otherwise spotless white of the rest of the room. "So I've read your recap in the email you sent. Would you like to add anything else?"
"I'm not sure." (y/n) nervously fiddled with her fingers, nails scraping down her cuticle beds as she recounted the past few weeks. "Things have just been different since we bought the place. I thought I'd just be scared of the house itself, but now…" She bit her lip, refusing to meet the perceptive gaze of the old woman, as if bearing her soul before a stranger. Except this stranger seemed rather receptive to it.
"That's why I'm here to help in any way I can."
The reassurance was enough for (y/n), looking up to the lady with astonished relief and a settled heart. She trailed behind her as the woman waved about burning incense, muttered things in a foreign language, and looked around the house for any anomalies.
At some point, she unveiled a series of objects for (y/n) from her bag of items. Bundles of twigs and ferns tied with a piece of twine. The only indication of it being anything unique was the attached sigil on the string. These were placed above doorways and beneath objects.
"Keep these candles alight." She handed (y/n) a batch of long white candles. Her frail hands wrapped around (y/n)'s arm as soon as the transfer was complete. "It'll ward off any negative spirits that may be lingering. It'll keep you safe."
"Thank you… I appreciate your help."
"Of course. Call me if things go wrong. Keep me posted."
With that, the woman was gone, and (y/n) was once more alone in the house. She spent this limited time setting up the candles, placing them around the living room where Sunwoo would be sat eventually. Her nerves ate away at her, hoping with all her might that this would be the end of this harrowing chapter of their lives. That the candles really would displace anything that's attached itself to their house or themselves. That the normalcy of their mundane lives would return as if nothing ever happened.
The sound of Sunwoo's car pulling up startled (y/n) into action, standing from where she was seated and expectantly staring at the doorway. With every sound outside, (y/n) grew more and more anxious. She recognized the sound of his car turning off, the sound of his door closing behind him, and that of his footsteps growing nearer and nearer. She felt her breath caught at her throat as he unlocked the door, and her head seemed to spin momentarily as he finally entered.
The first thing he took in was the candles, and then his gaze drifted down the hall to their bedroom, and finally he rested his attention onto (y/n). Her stomach twisted at the apathetic stare her way. The way his lids sunk with weariness, as if fed up by it all. Memories of their last altercation briefly flitted across her mind, and she found herself rooted where she stood, as if by standing completely still, he would ignore her entirely.
It seemed to work, as he dropped his stuff on the floor and stormed off into the house, leaving her standing there in a fearful awe, wondering what he'd do next. As if trapped in an enclosure with a wild animal, expecting the unexpected at all times. When he reemerged moments later, there was something clenched in his hands. (y/n) hadn't the time to analyze before Sunwoo ducked under the couch and snatched up another one. Another charm placed by the woman.
The branches snapped in his grip, shards of wood trickling behind him as he went about and removed each and every one of them, as if knowing exactly where to look. Upon seizing the final one placed above the kitchen's entryway, he turned around and left the house, door kept wide open so (y/n) could watch in horror as he threw it all away in the bin outside, completely and entirely unaffected by them.
Once more, she was rooted to her spot, but rather than as a defensive mechanism, it was out of pure terror. Sunwoo's eyes were trained on her as he made his journey back into the house, figure growing more and more imposing as he drew nearer. The door slammed behind him in a violent manner, causing (y/n) to flinch at its ferocity.
When he finally stood in front of her, reminiscent of just a few days prior, his eyes momentarily glanced at the series of candles illuminating the living room.
"I suggest you clean up, (y/n)," He spoke, venom laced in his words as he turned back to face her. "I don't like strangers coming into our house. So remember that next time."
With that, he left once more. She trembled in the wake of his absence, breaths shaky as she attempted to gather herself together and get into action removing the candles, lest he return with a vengeance. She had briefly headed over to their bedroom in hopes of reaching out to him, though stopped short upon stumbling on the state of their doorknob, now indented by the placement of his fingers.
It was perhaps the most startling revelation of this entire ordeal thus far. The one that wrapped up the evidence collected and gave her the conclusion she did not want to accept. Because how else could a man as frail and weak as Sunwoo looks now be able to put such pressure on a doorknob like this?
That day, she slept on the couch, facing the hallway and making sure Sunwoo never stepped out when she least expected it.
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The next morning, (y/n) prepared breakfast. Sunwoo sat at the table behind her and she felt the presence of his stare upon her back, monitoring every minute movement she made. Her new phone lay beside the stove where she frequented it with nervous glances, praying for time to move so Sunwoo would go to work. Though upon her umpteenth glance, she suddenly began to receive a call.
An Unknown Number. On any other occasion, she'd have most likely ignored it. Though with the stifling atmosphere and the discomfort of Sunwoo's insistent surveillance, she found herself almost immediately answering the call.
"Hello?" She spoke, voice as leveled and steady as she could muster. Anything to draw suspicion away from the maddeningly paranoid man seated only a few feet away.
"Hello! This is (y/n), correct?"
(y/n)'s eyes bugged out of her skull from the sheer shock of hearing the woman's voice again, heart rate accelerating as she dared a momentary glance to Sunwoo. He was occupied reading something on his phone, not even noticing (y/n)'s subtlety. Turning back forward, she continued with cooking, clearing her throat again.
"Yes." It was all she could think to say. Anything else could potentially tip off Sunwoo—something she wanted to avoid at all costs.
"Is he in the room?"
Another pause on her part before she answered the same way.
"Yes."
"I take it… the measures didn't work? He's still… the same?"
"Yes."
She heard the woman sigh, muttering something and shifting in the other line.
"Stay put. We'll have to go to our second initiative. I'll come retrieve you later at the same time as yesterday. Is that okay?"
(y/n) took a moment to process the information. Retrieve her? Meaning she'd be… taken away from here. Away from this house of terrors. Away from the anxiety that's plagued her soul for so long now. Away from all the darkness that lurks within every corner and carries with in nothing but bad omens.
Away from Sunwoo.
"(y/n)?"
"I'm sorry?" Another pause as she dragged herself back to reality. "I mean… Yes."
"For now, lay low. I'll come with help."
"Okay."
The line went dead, two muted beeps being the last thing she hears before she placed the phone on the counter once more. She didn't know what this entailed. She didn't know what the second plan was. She didn't even know there would be a second plan. And the prospect of there being help needed in this endeavor only served to further propel (y/n) into an internally frenzied state.
Absentmindedly, she scooped her breakfast onto a plate, mind still wandering aimlessly as she turned away from the stove.
A gasp fell past her lips as she came face to face with Sunwoo, his close proximity startling her enough to drop the plate once held in her hands. It shattered as it collided with the floor, ceramic shards skidding across the linoleum and littering the kitchen like a field of landmines. Yet Sunwoo seemed unaffected, far too invested in boring holes directly into (y/n)'s soul.
His eyes were wide, almost in a maddeningly intrigued state, unblinking like a statue. At such a slim distance away from each other, perhaps the closest they've been to one another in weeks, she could see the decay in his character. He seemed entirely drained, as if just an empty vessel at this point. Eyes glazed over with a sort of dull sheen, haggard and tired looking, skin that seemed devoid of any color, having lost the vitality he was once brimming with.
"Sunwoo…" (y/n) mumbled, shuffling back against the stovetop as carefully as she could muster. Her feet bumped against the shards beneath her, their scraping sounds against the floor offering the only sounds within the whole house. Yet Sunwoo again remained unperturbed, still staring at her with every ounce of energy left within his depleted body.
"Who was that, (y/n)?" His voice came out gravelly, almost strangled sounding even, as if forced out after its lack of use, yet still uncharacteristically steady with a low timbre.
She tried answering him, though her mouth ran dry, lips opening and closing helplessly as stuttered clips of her voice seemed to penetrate the hazy state she found herself in. As she floundered before him, cowering beneath his imposing stature which loomed over her with little to no regard for her pitiful state, his facade finally seemed to crack with the most minuscule of eye twitches.
"Who was that on the fucking phone, (y/n)?" He spat out the inquiry through gritted teeth, veins protruding from his neck as he drew impossibly closer to her, practically swallowing her whole as she backed as far into the stove as possible, the harsh metal digging into her lower back to get as far from Sunwoo as possible.
"It was just a coworker!"
"Liar!"
His voice boomed with pure unbridled rage, forcing (y/n) into the appliance behind her with a violent jostle. Her body ached at the impact site, and she could faintly feel the sting of a shard slicing beneath her foot, though she could barely even process the pain at these junctures, what with the voice that had suddenly bellowed forth from Sunwoo's body.
It was something she recognized. Something she had momentarily heard just yesterday, and something she couldn't really understand at the time. Something beyond her comprehension and reasoning. Yet now, it seemed as if her thoughts were as clear as could be.
It emanated from him with this eerie sonority. A disconcerting fusion of tones that seemed to coalesce and diverge in a discordant symphony. It held an otherworldly, menacing quality, as if several voices, each with its own timbre and cadence, were vying for dominance within the same vocal cords of the decrepit man they were housed in. The result was this haunting cacophony of layered articulates, a chilling chorus of spectral echoes that sent shivers down her spine.
A low, animalistic growl began reverberating deep within his chest, its encompassing resonance filling the atmosphere between them. She gazed at him frightfully, wary of meeting his eyes, skin prickling with nerves as she remained trapped before him. A debilitating discomfort seemed to broil within her. Something primal. Instinctual, as if her mind were seemingly overriding every other function of her body for the sole purpose of escaping as soon as possible.
Adrenaline now coursing through her veins, she shoved Sunwoo back with all of her might. It didn't impact him as much as she thought it would have, though it was enough of a surprise for her to take advantage of his momentarily stunned state and run.
The short distance from the kitchen to the main door felt almost endless as she heard his growl suddenly grow louder and infinitely more furious than it had initially sounded.
Yanking the door open felt liberating, and the sense of freedom which came from shedding the all consuming pressures of that accursed house and embracing the open, fresh air was near cathartic. She tumbled into the front lawn, breathless as her heart thumped incessantly in her chest. The blades of grass tickled at her exposed skin, the dew of the morning still lingering on their sharp ends and soaking her clothes, though the cool moisture and the soothing morning chill helped in diluting the rush that had taken over her body.
Still laying across the grass, (y/n) whipped her head behind her, shakily taking in the house once more, with objectively more opened eyes.
It stood as a malevolent force of nature against the unassuming and quaint suburban scene it lay within. It seemed like any other structure throughout this block, blending into the neighborly charm that had first captivated the couple, yet now she could see more closely the stark, ever foreboding shadow that seemed to radiate from within. There was this palpable aura of malignance that exuded from its very foundation, suffusing the atmosphere with this chilling dominance that seemed to both lure unsuspecting victims yet ward off those who knew of its intentions—and (y/n) seemed to have just crossed this threshold of knowledge.
She didn't know for how long she lay there, trembling from the aftermath of the morning, desperately attempting to regain whatever composure she could. Her eyes had remained locked upon the open doorway, waiting for the moment Sunwoo would come and drag her back into that depraved, ungodly house. Yet he never did. Instead, what drew her back to reality was the sound of a car pulling into her driveway.
"(y/n)!" The woman came rushing over to her with a haste (y/n) thought she'd never embody. The elderly lady helped (y/n) to her feet, practically dragging her up against her will before tugging on her arm. "Come, let's get you out of here."
For a moment, (y/n) followed with a hazy mind, merely following along without any sort of comprehension of what was happening. Though she finally snapped out of it when she saw two men walking by her, adorned in black robes and crosses.
"Wait," (y/n) mumbled, beginning to resist the woman as she turned just in time to see the men enter the house. "Wait, who are they? What's going on?"
"You shouldn't be here for this." Again, the woman attempted to pull (y/n) away, but when she heard a familiar scream inside, (y/n) had suddenly become alert as ever.
"Sunwoo. What are they doing to Sunwoo? I need to get him."
"(y/n)!" The woman grabbed her shoulders, squeezing them beneath her bony touch, eyes widened and frenzied. "That is not Sunwoo in there. You know as well as I do that Sunwoo is not here right now."
(y/n) felt herself sink into this deep, muddled tunnel vision. The voice of the woman seemed to muffle until finally growing mute. (y/n)'s eyes remained on her, but all she could hear was Sunwoo's screams from within. Anguished, desperate cries. Guttural as he screamed with all of his might, nearly drowning out the Latin incantations that were being hollered at him. She could feel her limp body being pulled away again, her bloodied and bare feet brushing against the cool dew of the grass once more, the yells growing further and further away, until one cry reached her ears.
Her name.
She slipped out of the woman's hold, whirling around as she booked it for the house. Her mind screamed at her to turn back, to leave this horrific scene, as if her great morning getaway was for naught. Though she was too compelled by the weakness in her heart that couldn't bear to be without Sunwoo, especially at a moment like this.
Barreling into the house, she froze at the nightmare taking place. Sunwoo bound by ropes onto a chair, thrashing about with every fiber of strength in his feeble body, head whipping to and fro as the two priests spoke affirmatively before him, bearing crosses aimed his way as they read from a small leather bound book. Visible veins now spread across his face like cracks of lightning in the sky. Blood pooled the whites of his eyes, his irises near indecipherable from the darkness now encompassing them. The sight broke her heart.
She felt the woman's touch rest upon her back, no longer attempting to pull her away as she had beforehand. She now merely served as an anchor for (y/n), as the girl bore witness to her beloved Sunwoo in this anguished, horrid state.
The room seemed to quake with the guttural symphony of Sunwoo's screams only growing louder in intensity, his skeletal form writhing against the restraints that bound him. The air grew thick with this suffocating tension, walls trembling as they attempted to contain the battle of light and darkness within. The priests pressed on, voices unwavering as their incantations poured forth like a tide against the dam of evil that obstructed them.
And then, in an instant, the abhorrent cacophony of screams that had once consumed the room ceased. Sunwoo's body fell limp, sagging against the chair in an unconscious state, his once wild eyes now vacant, staring into the abyss of the unknown until finally sliding shut.
Without any hesitation, (y/n) rushed to his side, skirting past the company that stood motionless in waiting. Her hands trembled as she gently lifted his head into her arms, cradling him against her chest as tears pooled in her eyes.
"S-Sunwoo?" Her voice quivered as she whispered his name, eyes darting across his face for any sign of life. Only silence greeted her as the first tears began to pour down her face.
For a moment, it was pure and utter silence. Her quiet sobs broke the tension as the priests and the woman slowly reconvened, watching the scene before them with tormented hearts, allowing (y/n) her time to grieve. Though that hadn't lasted as long as they had intended.
With a suddenness that sent a shockwave through the room, his eyes had snapped open. (y/n) paused in her crying, analyzing the face that looked up at her. His eyes were no longer that of a tormented soul they had been just moments prior. Instead, they now gleamed with this… eerie serenity. A calm that seemed to stretch infinitely.
A macabre smile curled upon his cracked lips, blood seeping from the corners as they slowly dripped forth from his mouth, staining his skin a ghastly crimson. And in a cracked, hollowed manner, he spoke.
"He's gone."
The words dripped with finality. A statement for the people who stared at him with irrevocable fear. As if an undeniable truth which could not be refuted. As if he spoke not of an unfortunate departure, but instead that of an inevitability forced upon the lot.
His lips spread even further, watching (y/n) with intent fascination as she drew away from him, trembling with tears streaking her face. He laughed, this raucous, jarring sound that immediately prompted the priests to continue their incantations. Though (y/n) knew their efforts were fruitless.
She had collapsed onto the floor, breaths growing shorter and more frequent, chest convulsing upon itself as she crumbled in upon herself. She could feel his stare still upon her, hear his crazed laughs flood her mind, taunting her with his demented victory. And all she could do was lay there, vision growing blurry and hearing growing fuzzy, world spinning and reality deteriorating before her. Left only to confront the daunting truth forced upon her.
Her beloved Sunwoo. The man who she bought her first house with. The man who filled her days with joy and laughter. The man who rekindled the spark of love within her that she thought had gone dormant. The man who showered her with his endless waves of love. The man who she had promised her life to.
He was truly, undeniably gone.
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bae-del-moon · 9 months
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With Love, From the Other Side of the Apocalypse | Full Fic Preview
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pairing: sunwoo x f.reader
rating: M (for suggestive and violent themes) | TW: death, blood, and zombie-decaying bodies
words: approx. 5590
genre: angst, romance, post-apocalyptic!au | childhood friends-to-lovers-to-exes-to-lovers, slow-burn
summary: When the world came to an abrupt end, the years you spent avoiding your hometown and those who came with it after graduating high school fell kaput. After months of solitude, you find yourself packing what you can and driving for days just to get back. Unsure of what you expected, you find yourself having to confront the mess you left behind. You're no stranger to a broken heart. Neither are they. You're the one who broke Sunwoo's heart, after all.
a/n the original one-shot I posted months ago can be found here // a teaser to the full fic I'm writing for E's 26th birthday !
Before the world ended, it always felt like there wasn’t enough time to spend as you liked. Yet, there always seemed to be plenty of time to be stuck in a plague of your own thoughts. 
After the world ended, there was plenty.
Still, what with the world just having ended and the living, human population having been drastically reduced (not to mention the places you had wanted to visit were no longer easily accessible), you found that you still couldn’t spend your time as you would have liked. That left you with too much time. Time to think about food, water, about shelter, and medicine. But, above all, it left you with time to fester with thoughts that all began with a ‘what if.’  
It meant you had time to think about your ex. 
Before the world ended, you were able to ignore everything and anything that had to do with him. 
It hadn’t been easy. You’d left home right after graduation for early freshman integration courses. You’d blocked his number and social media accounts. You’d even cut off your friends because they had been friends with him too. 
But now you had time and no classes, assignments, or people to veer your thoughts in any other direction they could. 
You’d tried stocking up on food, water, any supply you could think of. But, the outcome was always the same. You were alone.
You were alone, and yet, he was always there. 
There was no avoiding him now. Every time you closed your eyes, he was there. Sweaty and still clad in his dirty soccer uniform, strands of his bangs clumped together and pressed against his forehead. He waited for you outside the classroom the teachers had chosen for tutoring that day. He leaned against the wall across the door, backpack slung over his right shoulder.
You always woke up in a cold sweat just after he came into view, and you pushed open the door only to lock eyes with him. 
You shook those thoughts away quickly. It was easy. You just reminded yourself of the many years that had passed since you last saw him. And, if that didn’t work, you thought about the possibility of finding someone else just as alive as you if you went outside.
Eventually, that stopped being enough, and instead of shaking the thoughts of him away, you found yourself wondering how much he had changed before the world ended. How much older did he look? Did he still have the same impish look in his eyes he had when you started dating? Had he— 
Whether you shut your eyes or not, your thoughts wandered, and he was always there, waiting for you. Sometimes he was the snot-nosed little boy that glared at you every time your moms stopped to talk to each other outside your elementary school’s pick-up gate. Other times, he was the tousled-haired, sweaty, high school sophomore that liked to pin you against the trees of the little forest behind the school’s soccer field after school and kiss you shyly under its shade.
His hooded eyes opened, and his bruised lips parted as the two of you tried to catch your breaths. The smirk that shaped his lips as he brushed his nose against yours taunted you.
Remembering the way he looked, remembering him, came far too easily.
It made you want to scream.
When the world came to an end, you found yourself at the laundromat, folding the clothes that had just finished drying. It hadn’t taken you long to notice that something was wrong, and when you finally saw blood begin to fall, you shoved the rest of your clothes into your duffle and ran.
At that point in your life, it had only been a pair of months since you finally graduated with your degree from university. It had only been a pair of months since you moved to a neighboring city instead of going home.
You hadn’t been sure you’d ever be able to go home, then.
You spent days moving from store to store when the world ended, hiding in break rooms and manager offices, only moving as much as you dared on each day until you finally made it home. It would be little to no exaggeration to say that you practically blacked out the moment you left the laundromat. 
The only thing you could clearly remember was the moment you twisted your key into your apartment’s lock and stumbled inside.
Months had passed since that day, and you had yet to find another living soul. Thoughts of the boy who had broken your heart were the only solace you could find, even as your heart twisted at the memories.
Had he died? Where was he when died? With who?
You wondered, was he still friends with your friends? Had they managed to stay together?
You clicked through the pictures buried deep in your memory drive, finding pictures you swore to yourself you’d deleted.
You wanted to go home. You missed it.
But could you do it? Could you make it home? 
You spent days questioning whether it was a good idea or not. It wasn’t. But, if you went home, what were the odds you would find anyone still alive?
Going home meant seeing all the people that had raised you dead and zombified. The friends you had cut off, the ones that had decided to study closer to home— would you be able to face them, dead or alive? And if he was there too?
What if he had gone home before the world ended? What if he’d been there when the world ended? Were you ready for your first encounter with him after the break up to be now? Now that he was a member of the undead?
The thought of it sent you reeling. 
Still, you found yourself packing your clothes and toiletries into your large suitcase, stuffing everything else you couldn’t bear to leave behind into another. At last, packing all of your food, medicines, and first aid kits into duffle bags and crates, thinking about the distance you needed to cover to get to the nearest car dealership and own your first car.
Once you were there, you took all the keys you could find, frantically hoping one of them belonged to a car bigger than a sedan. Luck was on your side, though not without choosing to frighten you at first.
As you attracted more and more attention from the undead, cars blaring to life as you pressed the unlock button on each of the key fobs hoping you were near its pair, you found it was the last key you tried that belonged to a larger SUV.
You raced home, leaving behind the zombies you had amassed and half-eaten bodies of the dead, and pools of dried blood you were sure were going to follow you into your dreams.
Stragglers followed you on the way home, and you dared to hope that there wouldn’t be any on the lawn of your apartment building. There weren’t, but the same couldn’t be said about the lawn of the building across from your building or the street between the two. 
They followed you as you parked, daring to block the doorless entry to the building with the right side’s passenger doors. After a few trips between your apartment, your car, and two zombies in the hall across from yours that you managed to slip past later, you had all of your things stuffed into the backseats of the car.
You could fix them into the trunk later, you told yourself.
That’s how you found yourself, weeks later, two towns away from your own, walking down the aisles of a quaint mid-sized market, pulling cans of fruit and frozen meat into a basket. 
You’d spied the market from the gas station where you’d stopped to refuel your car. It was risky, but you’d taken the four refillable, red gas cans you spied and filled those too. 
A thunderstorm had reached the town by the time you reached the store, and you parked haphazardly in the lane directly across from it, making sure the driver’s door faced the entrance. 
You were soaked from the multiple trips back and forth you made. But you couldn’t find it in yourself to care much. Not when the cold was helping keep the ice in the meat cooler from melting quicker. Or because the thunder and lightning that struck practically stunned the undead for minutes.
Inside the store, the silence unnerved you. Thoughts of what you’d find when you got to your hometown plagued you. The undead, undoubtedly, and you knew you wouldn’t be able to stay there for long. Or, at the very least, you wouldn't be able to leave your parent’s house for a few days, weeks if the food held out. 
You bit your lips as you walked down the aisles, contemplating the idea of grabbing spicy chips— or maybe barbecue— before continuing on your way.
Thunder rolled as you turned the corner and were forced to a stop like one of the zombies roaming outside, your heart caught in your throat.
He stood at the end of the aisle next to the one you had just come from, a backpack hanging from his shoulders and a duffle bag in his hands.
He stared at you, the same big brown eyes you remembered wide, a bandage on his cheek, and his lips parted in surprise. 
There was a bag of bread in his hands, and he clutched it, his fingers digging into the slices and mushing them together.
“Y/N.” He whispered first. 
You gulped. 
Lightning struck outside. 
“Sunwoo.”
☣|| [++☠++] || [++☠++] || [++☠++] || [++☠++] || [++☠++] ||☣
[I]
You had to be an idiot. There was no other way to explain what had compelled you to agree to follow him back to your hometown and to the rest of your once-friends. The look he had given you when you’d agreed. The way he had swallowed and said nothing afterward was enough to know he hadn’t been expecting you to agree, either. You were beginning to wonder what he’d been planning to say to convince you when he proceeded to shove the bag of bread into his duffle bag, then a few more from the shelves without turning away from you, that the thought disappeared just as quickly as it had formed.
Then he nodded to you as if he were asking you to lead the way. You supposed he was because you couldn’t conceive what else he might be trying to say. 
The trek to the exit doors, the same ones you’d come through, was silent beyond the sounds of the storm. Without meaning to, you both stopped once you’d taken a step outside. Side-by-side, you both stood under the store’s protruding roof, sheltered from the rain.
Thunder boomed again before he struck a thumb toward the other end of the store.
“I parked by the loading docks.”
You motioned to your car a couple of yards in front of you.
Sunwoo nodded, “I’ll be right back.”
He stalled for a moment, staring at your car expressionless before turning on his heels.
Having caught the blank look, your gaze flicked back and forth between your car and his back.
“Do you…” you shifted, “Do you want me to give you a ride?”
He stopped and threw you a blank look over his shoulders. He was only a couple steps away, unprotected from the falling rain, but he made no motion to return. “No. That’s alright. That’ll just draw their attention, and then we’ll be trapped back there.” 
“Okay,” you nodded. The word tumbled out awkwardly from your mouth, and you fought the urge to fidget and frown at him.
He stared at you for a moment longer, then nodded, turned back around, and kept walking.
It was unfair, you realized as you watched him saunter away, just how unaffected Sunwoo seemed to be after seeing you for the first time after so many years. Now you were sure he’d fared completely well after you’d broken up. It hurt you to accept that it was exactly as you had thought. 
You waited until he turned the corner, shuffling past a group of stunned zombies, before sprinting to your car.
You shoved the basket of food onto the backseats and waited. It was uncomfortable. It felt like an eternity before you saw a dusty blue minivan turn the corner.
He drove at a turtle’s pace as if by driving slower, he’d be able to avoid drawing the attention of the undead. Instead, they began to shake themselves out of their thunder-induced stupor and shuffle in the direction of the minivan. 
You could see packs of zombies over the entirety of the lot starting to turn in his direction. Though they had yet to swarm around his car like agitated bees, you could already envision it happening, and you dreaded it. 
A handful already followed him from behind. You could see the figures clustering together through his windshields. At the sides, one or two zombies pawed at the back doors angrily. But it wasn’t until a group of seven crossed his path and blocked your view of the front of his minivan that you felt your fear turn into an indomitable terror.
Your hands moved without much thought, and you shoved your car key into the ignition. You twisted it and fought the urge to let go and hit the gas when the undead jolted toward you at the sound of the engine roaring to life. 
Hardly a moment later, as if you had turned his car on instead of your own, he revved his engine and headed straight toward you.
He ran over the group of zombies in front of him, laying three of them under the wheels of his car and sending two others into the air. The last one in his way hit the hood of his car, staining the dusty blue paint job and the front windshield in dark red splotches that smeared when the zombie inevitably slipped off.
He skidded to a stop next to your car seconds later, tires screeching as they tried to grip the wet ground.
Your windows lined up almost perfectly. The space between your cars was so minuscule that you felt an absurd burst of road rage threatening to escape you at the sudden thought that he’d almost clipped your side mirror.
Eyes narrowed into slits, you’d been about to scold him when you finally looked at him, and the rage dispelled.
Sunwoo pinned you to your seat with a wide-eyed look. His chest rose and fell in quick succession, panting as if he’d run instead of driven. His knuckles paled ghastly from the grip he had on the steering wheel, and even though it was raining, you felt like you could swear his face was glistening because of sweat.
You took in the sight through the layers of glass between you. The amount of time the two of you spent like that, you couldn’t say, but at the very least, the undead had yet to surround either of you. 
Eventually, your hand shot out blindly toward the button that would lower your window, but he shook his head. 
You met his eyes, and he nodded forward, giving you another piercing look before letting his car roll ahead of yours and come to a stalling stop. He waited for you.
Once your car moved forward, positioning yourself to line up behind him, he surged forward. It was clear once they got going that Sunwoo had no qualms about ramming his minivan into the wandering bodies of the undead if they were in the way. If he had, he’d overcome it in the lot they’d left.
You frowned. The look you’d caught in Sunwoo’s eyes flashing in front of you every time you noticed another broken body coming out from under his car.
Every now and then, when lightning struck ahead of them, your gaze gravitated toward it, you’d catch Sunwoo’s stare in the reflection of his rearview mirror. Disconcerted, you looked away as quickly as she could each time. Eventually, though you were embarrassed, you found yourself looking too. When the rain was pouring too heavily to see much anyway.
Lightning struck while you stared in his direction, questioning why you found Sunwoo’s gaze on you every time it did. You found this time was no different. His big brown eyes stayed fixed on you for the couple of seconds it took for the sky to flash and lightning to strike miles ahead. Then everything was dark again, and your high beams just barely pierced through the torrents of rain.
Was he looking at you? His eyes reflected back to you, but really, wasn’t he merely looking into his rearview mirror? It was a basic driving rule, you insisted to yourself. It would be weird if he didn’t. You hadn’t owned a car, but you’d read the driving handbook and passed your road test. It was a habit essential to driving.
But, a smaller voice insisted, if it was a habit, why was it always when lightning struck. 
Clarity, you rationalized, he can see through the rain then. He mustn’t care about crashing into other cars. After all, you yourself hadn’t seen another car galivanting down the road. And crashing into the undead didn’t seem much of a worry. 
You breathed, exhaling as you nodded to yourself. Then lightning struck. Your eyes met his again through the mirror, and you knew.
The slow-moving car. The wide-eyed look he’d given you. The stare he held on you when lightning struck.
You couldn’t be sure, not without asking him, but it was as if he needed to make sure you were still there. As if he couldn’t believe you had agreed to follow him back.
Perhaps they were in agreement then.
☣|| [++☠++] || [++☠++] || [++☠++] || [++☠++] || [++☠++] ||☣
The rain had yet to let up when the two of you finally reached your destination, and you found yourself driving through the tall, iron-wrought gates of your old high school, looking up at the main two-story building. 
Sunwoo had driven up directly to the gates, running over the zombies that stood stunned and in the way without a second thought. The two of you had stood there, cars stalling as the gates opened, for an absurd amount of minutes, it had seemed to you.
Then, with the gates screeching shut behind you, Sunwoo stopped and parked as he was, meters from the main entrance.
You were sure the severity of the rain hadn’t changed in the while it had taken for you to park directly behind his car. But, you could see them.
The doors to the main entrance had opened while you parked, and three figures filed out. They stood at the top of the five-step stoop, arms crossed as they waited for the two— or maybe just Sunwoo— to step out. He shot you a look as he opened his door. Though you weren’t sure what it meant, you stayed in your seat, too afraid to move. A moment later, when he slammed his door shut, not even the distance between you and the three on the steps, let alone the glass and metal that was the car encompassing you, was enough to muffle the chastising he was receiving.
“What the hell were you thinking leaving like that?!” Your breath caught in your throat. “In that damned car! Eric hadn’t even finished outfitting it!”
“Sangyeon,” Sunwoo sighed, though it nearly sounded like a groan.
“You couldn’t have brought anyone with you?! Taken Kevin or Hyunjae with you?!” 
“Where did you even go? And why the hell did you bring someone back with you?!”
“New,” Jacob groaned. “That’s not fair.”
“Not fair? NOT FAIR?! WE’RE RUNNING OUT OF FOOD, AND HE THINKS IT’S  A GOOD IDEA TO BRING SOMEONE ELSE TO FEED!”
New fumed, gesturing wildly in your direction. He stood on Sangyeon’s left, glaring at Jacob, who stood to Sangyeon’s right and merely shook his head at him.
“Can I speak now?” Sunwoo snapped. “Or is that too much to ask?”’
“DO NOT snap at them, Sunwoo.” Jacob snapped back in return before taking a deep breath. “You know they have a point. You shouldn’t have snuck out. You shouldn’t have taken a car that hadn’t been fixed yet. You shouldn’t have gone alone. What if something happened to you? Do you think we were just going to be able to let you go so easily? You have to stop being so reckless.”
Sunwoo’s shoulders sagged. “Sorry. I only went a town over to find food.” 
“Alone,” Sangyeon growled.
Feeling chastised and a tad guilty that you were a voyeur to Sunwoo’s scolding, you clambered out of your car without a second thought and regretted it the moment you slammed your car door shut.
They stared at you as if you had just told them the end of the world had been nothing more than an elaborate prank. Eyes blown wide and their mouths agape, it seemed like they hardly even took notice of the torrents of rain coming down on them. 
Meters behind Sunwoo, you were surprised they could even see you. For a moment, you thought they stared because they couldn’t see you. But the frozen looks on their faces that you were able to discern were enough for you to know that they did.
You swallowed and smiled shakily, raising a hand to wave hello.
The silence was impenetrable by anything other than the rain.
“Y/N.” Someone finally said. Sangyeon. You swallowed again, noting the lower pitch of his voice. You squinted, trying to make sure it was he who had spoken, but the pour of the rain prevented you from being sure.
Still, you went with your gut feeling and greeted them, stepping forward until you were standing next to a smirking Sunwoo.
“Hi.”
“Y/N.” New scoffed as he crossed his arms over his chest. He glared at you, and the flimsy smile you sported wavered. 
Sunwoo nodded. “I brought Y/N back. Found her going down the aisles of that one market a town over. You know, the one by the town’s edge, where the team buses used to stop.”
Sangyeon nodded only once and slowly. Then, in the silence that followed, New scoffed once again.
“I brought back food, too, if you’re interested.” Sunwoo smiled thinly.
“Just get inside,” Sangyeon snapped before turning on his heels and stalking inside.
Sunwoo followed closely behind, and before you knew it, you were standing outside with only New and Jacob for company.
“It’s—”
New scoffed again, and though you couldn’t see it, you knew he had just rolled his eyes at you. He didn’t wait for either of you after that, choosing to pivot on his heels much like Sangyeon had and storm inside.
You waited for the school’s doors to clang shut, nearly flinching, before speaking again. “Three scoffs in less than five minutes,” you laughed, biting your lips afterward. “That’s got to be a new record.” 
Jacob shook his head. He smiled kindly at you though small, and it took all the energy you had to keep yourself from sobbing.
“His record is five in five minutes now, actually.” 
“I see.” 
“Come on.” He waved you forward. “Let’s get inside and change out of these clothes before we end up with a fever.”
☣|| [++☠++] || [++☠++] || [++☠++] || [++☠++] || [++☠++] ||☣
The school’s cafeteria tables had been pressed and stacked against the sidewalls. It left the large room feeling like it was practically empty. Were it not for the four tables they had placed at the center like a square without corners and the hobo fire at the center of it all, you were sure you would have mistaken the cafeteria for an interrogation room.
The hallways themselves had been deserted while Jacob led you to the girl’s locker rooms and suggested you take a shower. Everything you needed would already be there, and he promised he’d leave you a change of clothes on one of the benches near the door for when you were done. He had even been kind enough to leave a note promising the pair of boxer briefs he’d brought were clean, though you had still hesitated.
Cocooned in the warm blanket Jacob had given you on the way to the cafeteria, sitting in front of the hobo fire, your back to the door, you realized it was the only kindness you would be receiving.
The cafeteria may have been intended to be a sort of center of operations, you judged by the boxes of food and supplies you saw stowed under a table, but at the moment, you felt as if it were moments away from becoming the interrogation room you felt it had just barely avoided becoming.
You could feel their stares, their eyes burning holes into you while you kept your fixed gaze alternating between the mug of tea Jacob had gotten for you and the pair of black sweats you now wore. 
They were all here, at least, all alive.
Eventually, you lifted your gaze and fixed it on the glow of the fire emanating from the trash can. You hoped they’d think your mind was lost in the fire while you took them in.
Kevin studied you from the kitchen window where the lunch ladies used to serve the meals they’d prepared for the day. His face was thinner now you noted, more angular as he’d lost the baby fat you remembered. His eyes were still as sharp as ever, though, and you were sure he had already discerned things about you even you hadn’t noticed yet. 
Jacob leaned against the window’s counter. Haknyeon and Hyunjae stood on either side of him, toying with the lunch trays in their hands. They had their backs to you, so you couldn’t see their faces clearly, and take in how much they had changed. You could tell they had gotten bigger, shoulders wider than you recalled. At the very least, you contended yourself with the knowledge that you could still tell it was them. 
It didn’t take you much to reach the conclusion that the three were listening to Jacob recall how you had reached them. 
Avoiding Kevin’s eyes, you moved your gaze toward Sangyeon, who was packing supplies into a box. Younghoon and Juyeon looked the same as you last remembered them. They hovered behind Sangyeon, looking over a shared clipboard. 
It took you a moment to realize Sangyeon's lips were moving.
He had always been good at speaking without moving his lips much. You could guess what he was saying to them too. Their faces were blank in concentration, trying to give nothing away.
“It’s done!” Eric shouted happily, doors flinging open as he strolled inside. “I set up another room AND managed to fix the generator. Now where is she?!”
You were startled, nearly spilling your tea, and the tense silence of the room intensified. It didn’t take long for Eric to spot you, running to you even before you had turned fully around. He pulled you into a standing hug, squeezing you until you regained your bearings and returned his hug.
“Look at you!” He said when he pulled away. “You’re all grown up! I mean, we all are, but still.”
You chuckled, the tension of the rest of the room suddenly forgotten. “Me? Look at you. The last time I saw you, you were this tiny, scrawny little freshman crossing his fingers he’d make the varsity baseball team.”
He was far from the freshman you remembered. He was much taller now, and rather than scrawny, you could tell he’d spent a fair amount of time working out. His shoulders were wider, and while his face still looked like the Eric you remembered, it had also broadened.
Even his hair had changed. No longer the deep brown, he had dyed it white-blond, though you could see his roots starting to show.
“I did!” He laughed. 
“Make the team, that is,” Q interrupted before you could respond. 
The smile you had gotten because of Eric fell as you turned to look at Q.
It was the first time you allowed yourself to look at him since Jacob had brought you there. He sat in front of New, who had elected to give you his back. Sunwoo sat to his right with two girls you didn’t recognize on his right. You could feel the three of them staring at you. The two girls glared at you, though you didn’t understand why.
Sunwoo didn’t glare. 
His stare was cold and emotionless.
You could hardly bear to glance at him, so you focused on Q, whose eyes pierced through you in a glare.
He didn’t look much different. His facial features, if anything, had only sharpened enough to signal he’d grown older.
In the silence that came after his words, one of his eyebrows ticked upward in challenge, and he let his spoon drop onto his food tray. “But you wouldn’t know that would you?”
You swallowed. The look he was giving you.
“Q--” 
He sneered, “Changmin.” 
“W-what--” 
“It’s Changmin to you. You have no right to call me Q anymore.”
“I- I’m sorry.” 
“Sorry?” New scoffed without looking at you. 
“New--” 
“No.” He shook his head and, a moment later, slammed his spoon onto the table. “You have no right to call me New.”
“I’m sorry,” your whisper echoed in the silence.
New-- Chanhee, at your apology, finally turned and glared at you just as Q-- Changmin did.
“Whatever for?” 
You flinched.
“Why did you even come? Did you think we’d be waiting for you? With open arms at that?”  
“New.” Sangyeon snapped.
Rolling his eyes, he turned around without waiting for you to answer.
There was a lump in your throat, and it grew in the silence that returned. Tears threatened to escape you though you fought to keep them at bay with your gaze trained on the floor.
“I should go,” you whispered. 
Though you didn’t mean to look at him, your gaze fell on Sunwoo before turning around. He remained expressionless, looking at you with cold brown eyes. He wasn’t glaring at you, but the grip he had on his spoon felt like enough for you to know what he felt.
Clutching the blanket around your shoulders, you were halfway to the doors when Jacob stopped you. 
“Wait! Aren’t you hungry? Don’t you want to eat?” 
“No, thanks.” You cast him a glance over your shoulder. “I wouldn’t want to impose.” 
You were halfway down the hall when Eric came running out from the cafeteria.
“Wait! Y/N, wait! You don’t even know where you’re going! I’ll show you to your room!”
You sniffed as he caught up with you.
“Oh. Oh, don’t cry. It’ll be fine. Everything will be fine. They--” 
She shook her head and waved for him to stop.
Together, they walked in silence toward the entrance, where they took the hall opposite the door. He led her upstairs to the second floor and through the hallway, turning right when they reached the end.
“Your room’s all the way back here. It’s Mrs. LaCroix's old classroom.” 
You nodded. 
“I would have given you one closer to us-- most of us are downstairs, but all of the classrooms have already been taken. A few of us have rooms up here, near the stairwell. Mine’s the one right next to the bottom of the stairs if you need me.” 
“Thank you,” you croaked out when you reached the classroom.
“Here,” he said, holding out a box you hadn’t noticed he was carrying.
“What is this?” 
“Provisions,” he answered, smiling at you. “Blankets, some pillows, things to make the bed and your room.” 
“Thanks, Eric.” 
“You,” he hesitated, “You are staying, right?”
You hesitated to answer, studying the floor by his feet. You didn’t imagine you’d be welcome to stay.
But. before you could figure out your answer, he spoke again. “Sleep on it. There’s a sandwich in there. You should eat it before going to sleep. I know it’s been a long day. And the guys-- they’re just-- Sunwoo--  he’s--” 
You nodded but said nothing in return.
He sighed. “I missed you, Y/N. I’m glad you’re here. I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight.” 
“I missed you too. Goodnight, Eric.” The words came out quieter than you intended them to, but he heard them, and he pulled you into another hug before pulling away. 
You watched him make his way down the hallway and disappear around the corner before entering the room Eric had prepared for you. The door had yet to close before you were slumping onto the mattress that had been laid on top of multiple desks. 
You rummaged through the box, looking for the sandwich Eric had promised. It was the only thing that mattered to you now. You would eat it, focus on the textures and flavors in your mouth, and force yourself to forget everything else. And later, when the lights turned off, you would force yourself to sleep, though it wouldn’t stop your tears from escaping.
☣|| [++☠++] || [++☠++] || [++☠++] || [++☠++] || [++☠++] ||☣
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boyzcatchingfire · 23 days
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Dancing in the Rain ~ *Lee Sangyeon*
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Summary: Raining is falling from the sky. You know what that means; it's time to go outside.
Pairing: Lee Sangyeon X G/N!Reader
Genre: Fluffy Drabble
Word Count: 706
Warning: N/A
Masterlist
Taglist: @samepoisonsamevine @kpop-will-kill-me
"It's raining." You whisper mainly to yourself.
However, it's no surprise when Sangyeon's arms around you tighten a little. "It is."
"It's very beautiful."
"Sure, but you're more beautiful."
You giggle as he peppers your neck with kisses. "We should go outside."
He pauses his ministrations against your neck. "You want to go outside? In the rain? We'll catch a cold!"
"But we can dance in the rain." You shrug. "It's just a suggestion. We don't have to if you don't want to."
Sangyeon shakes his head, his hair tickling your chin. "No, let's go outside and dance in the rain. Although, be warned, I'm making us soup and tea when we're done."
"Is that a promise?"
"On my life. I don't want either of us getting sick." He pulls away just far enough that he's still holding your hand.
You shake your head. "We won't get sick. Not if we're careful."
"That means raincoats, boots, and umbrellas." He states, heading to the front closet where that stuff is kept. You follow along behind him and allow him to put your raincoat on you. He presses a soft kiss to your nose as he zips it up. You help him into his coat and kiss his lips when you're done. Once your boots are on, he hands you your umbrella.
"Ready?"
You nod and open the front door. It's raining hard, but it's not too cold out. It's a perfect spring rain that waters down the world like a watercolor painting. It's absolutely beautiful and you can't wait to spend this moment with the man you love.
Taking his hand in yours, you open your umbrella and step into the rain. A smile instantly overtakes you. The sound of the rain hitting the umbrella and the smell of wet grass overwhelms you. It feels like you're in a movie.
Sangyeon joins you with a smile. "You're right, it is beautiful out here."
"It's perfect." You reply before letting your umbrella drop, allowing your hair to get wet.
"Hey!" He shouts and puts his umbrella over your head so you're now sharing it with him. "I told you I don't want you to get sick!"
"It's just water! It's like taking a shower." You tease him.
His mouth opens and closes a couple of times before he shakes his head. "I don't even know how to respond to that."
"C'mon! We said we were going to dance in the rain!" You give a slight whine. "And it's hard to do that with umbrellas!"
"No it's not! Watch!" Sangyeon attempts to direct you through a waltz, which makes you laugh. It's clumsy and awkward, but you're having too much fun to care. What matters is he's making an effort and seeing his smile makes yours grow.
"Let me try, let me try!" You say between laughs.
"Aren't I supposed to lead?"
"Not when you're bad at it. My turn to lead!" You shoot back before discarding his umbrella. He whines about his hair getting wet but you don't care. Instead you really dance with him, spinning him around and around in the ever increasing rain. 
Before too long, you both are soaked to the bone. But you're both too happy to care. Your cheeks hurt from smiling and your stomach aches from laughing so much. But you're happy and that's all that matters.
Sangyeon wraps you in his arms and whispers in your ear, "I love you."
"I love you too."
He pulls away and hooks his finger under your chin, pulling you closer for a kiss. However, before your lips can touch, a clap of thunder startles you apart. 
"Okay, inside now." He exclaims before he quickly grabs your discarded umbrellas and tugs you inside. You shake off your umbrellas and hang up your coats to dry. You're still smiling as you do so.
"That was fun. We should do it again more often." You sigh.
He chuckles and shakes his wet hair. "Maybe. We'll see. Now go change into warm clothes while I get the soup and tea started."
"Don't forget to do the same." You reply before kissing his cheek. "Thank you."
"You're very welcome, love. Perhaps someday we will dance in the rain again."
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staynoonaz9290 · 2 years
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Kinktober 2022 - Day 12: Younghoon
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Prompt: Kinktober 2022 - Frottage
Group: The Boyz
Pairing: Younghoon/Fem! Reader (First Person)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Dry Humping, Sexual/Suggestive Content, Slow-Moving-Sex Life, Consensual Next Moves, Making Out, Slight Desperation
Word Count: 686
Main Masterlist | The Boyz Masterlist | Kinktober 2022 Masterlist
**Original Prompt List HERE - Thanks so much @kinktober2022!**
COMPLETE
Since we’d started dating, Younghoon had always wanted to take it slow.
We hadn’t kissed until the third date, hadn’t touched until two months in, and hadn’t done much of anything for the six months we’d been together.
Of course, I understood and always wanted to respect him; Younghoon’s previous relationship had moved much too quickly, and he was convinced that’d been the reason it’d crumbled.
So I waited.
Kissing until he told me to stop, letting him be the one to push my hand beneath his shirt; moving at Younghoon’s pace.
But sometimes, being with him and seeing just how hot he could be…
I could get a little sexually frustrated.
My lips moved against Younghoon’s, fingers threading through his hair, shivering slightly when he exhaled impatiently against my lips.
Since the moment we’d gotten to my apartment, things had been a little more heated than usual.
Maybe it’s because I wore the silky, red dress I knew he was a little crazy about.
Maybe it’s because we’d both had wine at our dinner with friends, and- somehow- Haknyeon had convinced us to take some shots of Soju.
Or maybe it was because Younghoon was just hot as always- especially like this- body on top of mine, leg pushed between my own, our hips pressed together-
His hands were running up my dress, pushing the fabric up as he went, his fingers curling against my skin like he couldn’t control it- couldn’t help it- almost like he wanted more…
And I was fine with it, pushing my body into his touch, the warmth of his fingers bringing my nerves to life, the feel of him pressed against me like this enough to have me kissing him harder.
We turned our heads, deepening the kiss, tasting one another, his tongue sliding against my own, stealing the breath from my lungs, Younghoon’s quiet moan the only sound in the room.
My hands were running up and beneath his shirt, feeling the smooth skin there, his shoulders rolling back a bit into my touch, our kisses getting messier; a little uncoordinated-
Then Younghoon lowered his body a little more completely on top of mine, groaning under his breath, and rolled his hips against me.
And shit, he’d never done this before, my body on fire from such a small move, feeling how turned on he was as he moved, breath leaving his lungs in his rush-
He broke our kiss, hanging his head above me, hair tickling my lips as he moved again, moaning a little louder, fingers curling into the sheets-
I arched my back off the bed, pushing my hips against his, Younghoon hissing through gritted teeth and sliding against me, the feel of it incredible, my head tilting back at the surprising pleasure of it-
And maybe it’s because I’d wanted him for so long; wanted him like this- coming undone, grinding against me, breaths labored as our bodies moved together.
Or maybe it’s because Younghoon was so into it, another almost frustrated groan slipping from his lips as he moved into me; like- again- he just didn’t have control-
But I was feeling breathless from all of it, my leg lifting up to wrap around his hips, guiding him slightly as he rolled into me again, both of us gasping together-
I knew what was coming- knew with nothing but my panties and his thin basketball shorts between us that things would only get hotter- go further- wondering if he was ready, if he wanted that-
“Younghoon-” I all but whispered, tilting my head forward once more, Younghoon lifting up as his eyes met mine. “Do you… want to do more?”
And he knew he could tell me no at any time; that we’d had many conversations, and things were always in his hands.
But his eyes were darker, something in his expression I’d never seen before- something like desire- as he stared at me for a long moment.
Then he was leaning forward rather suddenly, kissing me hard and exhaling sharply against my lips, whispering the word I’d secretly been waiting for.
“Yes.”
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luciathcv · 25 days
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THE BOYZ MASTERLIST
-- guide: angst (a), fluff (f), suggestive (sg) || p.s. links are under cut!!
kim sunwoo
why do i even like him? (f)/(a)
sohn youngjae
san sebastian (f) - part one
goodbye san sebastian (f) - part two
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