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lairofdragonagelore · 2 years

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Emprise du Lion: Sahrnia and surroundings

Sahrnia is a village in Orlais located in the northeast of Emprise Du Lion. The town's primary income is from the local quarries which export material all over Thedas. During the year of the breach in the sky, Sahrnia fell into a severe economic decline due to the ongoing War of the Lions [war between Empress Celene and Gaspard de Chalons]. The war not only caused Sahrnia's mining trade to completely shut down but it also allowed a large Red Templar force to occupy the surrounding hills, leaving the town completely isolated.

[This is part of the series “Playing DA like an archaeologist”]

We enter in the zone being informed by Harding that Sahrnia is a town with few survivors. The lucky ones left it before the river froze, the rest was penned in by Fade rifts and Red Templars. The frozen river is a strange event; this town developed all its economy and life around the river for food and trade, so this sudden snow was unexpected, and therefore, suspected to be magical.

The presence of Red Templars is also big in this area, it seems they have a particular interest in Emprise du Lion. We are informed that a lot of miners went missing after the red templars showed up.

When we speak with the major, we learn that due to the War of the Lions, the town has been struggling, for that reason she sold the Quarry to the Red Templars under the promise of employment. One day, workers started to go missing.

Among the dead and the destroyed buildings, we find what it may have been a beautiful centre of the town, with a typical orlesian statue of Andraste.

Sahrnia was built under enormous columns that depict a Tevinter warrior [which wears similar armour than the Venatori we have been seeing in game] and a desire demon [or maybe a female kossith?]. These are the columns of the Imperial Highway, an ancient construction made by Tevinter before the Blights which connected all Thedas to Minrathous.

In front of the town, we find the main columns that support the Imperial Highway that crosses this area. It’s decorated with two gigantic statues that we have seen in the Fade or in the Hissing Wastes in the Venatori main camp, as well as in the Shattered Library. It depicts a Tevinter Warrior man holding a sword and being surrounded by a snake/dragon, and a desire demon or female kossith also surrounded by the same snake. One is against the other’s back, as the snake wraps them both.

If we explore this zone around the columns from the top, we find these two dogs at the sides of the Imperial Highway, and a landmark called Ruined Highway, which, as usual with all what Genitivi writes, adds no information. We later will know that this is an Orlesian reconstruction of the broken Tevinter Highway, hence the presence of orlesian dogs and andrastian statues in orlesian style.

Beyond the columns of the Highway, we can see a frozen waterfall flanked by elven owl statues.

At the exit of Sahrnia we can find Michel de Chevin, another character-reward for those who read The Masked Empire. This is the man [elf-blooded, that’s his big secret] who accidentally freed Imshael [simply because Imshael tricked him] and caused the extermination of Mihris’ clan as a consequence [this other characters is the one we find in Hinterlands and guides us into The Unknown Ruin ]. Now, he wants to make right this mistake by killing the ancient demon. He wrongly tells us that Imshael is a desire demon [when he is, in fact, more than a mere demon, he is a forbidden one which describes himself as a choice spirit, and as an ancient creature I believe he understands a lot more of the world of Thedas than any other char, so I will follow Imshael’s words most of the time, as I explained in my section of axioms] Later we will know that Imshael is here to tend the garden of red lyrium. He informs us that Imshael is in Suledin Keep.

Immediately out of the town, we find an isle in the middle of the Elfsblood river where a humble tower was built. Inside it, we find several Tevinter elements: a desk, a chair, a torture table and devices of unknown function that later, Bianca will research in Suledin Keep [they were previously found in Coracavus; Records Room ] and the note Barely Intelligible Scrawl. The author seems to have taken in a demon girl called Colette.

Close to the cascade of the town, we find another landmark that only adds the information that this place was never this cold, reinforcing the idea that this weather is unnatural. Beside the cascade, there are Tevinter devices. This, in particular is an inspector.

It's interesting to notice that in the concept art, there is a figure in a bass relief that looks like a qunari. The in-game object has it too, but it’s harder to notice.

We also find a humble ruin called "elven ruin" with a Fen'Harel statue. Maybe this is the kind of statues we find in the Exalted Plains in the “Path of Flames”, where the sitting Fen’Harel statues seem to mark a path towards a place suspected to be an arena. We know that in Emprise du Lion, Sulevin Keep is the most important and biggest elven ruin in the area. This could have marked the direction to it.

Exploring the outside of the town, we start to see the first patches of red lyrium, even in local statues of andrastian-ferelden style. Cole highlights that red lyrium is very angry.

To reach the top of this area, there is a passage through caves that we have to cross where a statue of Fen’Harel inside triggers a landmark called Dalish Wolf Carving, in which the mayor of Sahrnia acknowledges the blending between the elven and the orlesian that players have been noticing since the exploration of Orlais regions.

This area has a big amount of owl statues, in a similar fashion as we found them in the Emerald Graves. They seem to mark and guide towards a path, I suspect it’s towards Sulevin Keep.

When we reach to the top, we find a red templar camp where the red lyrium grows and expands all over the place.

We can also reach an old post that has an entrance to the Deep Roads and was sealed after the Third Blight. Due to its size, the Grey Warden “built” a fort to monitor the movement of darkspawn : Valeska's Watch .

Despite not informing it, this place has architecture and patterns of having been an elven ruin: when we enter, along the corridor, we can see the unique circle-based flowers pattern. The ceiling has the elvhenan style, and among griffon statues and grey warden banners, we find a very curious altar with a device we had never seen before, and a joining chalice behind it. Maybe this small altar with skulls is a container to mix the blood of an archdemon and of dawkspawn that the initiates of the Grey Wardens drink to join the order. This altar has skulls and my main interest is in the language written around it. It's a series of symbols that we didn't see before: they are not dwarven nor ancient elven. However, they look similar to the language used in the glyphs, check General glyphs and magical symbols for more details. I can’t say what kind of origin this object has.

This chamber seems to be the courtyard of the fortress, where the joining ritual can take place [this could be considered the equivalent place to Amaranthine's fort’s main hall]

Beyond this main hall, we find the entrance to the Deep Roads.

In this place there is a codex called Grey Warden Diaries (battered journal) which belongs to a recently joined grey warden who wants to escape the order and not kill darkspawn anymore.

After crossing another door we see the entrance to the Deep Roads: the ground of the elven ruin has collapsed and the enormous hole allows darkspawn to pass through and reach the surface. In this part we find some notes called Deep Roads Entrance and Grey Warden Diaries (Valeska's Watch diary) where we are informed how there are not many wardens protecting this entrance due to the Corypheus situation.

It's around this Grey Warden outpost where a conversation between Solas and Blackwall triggers and shows us that Solas, who truly knows what's the nature of the Blight and the archdemons, despises the Grey Warden and claims that killing all archdemons would not solve the problem.

Close to the cliff of Emprise du Lion, we find the body of a dalish and the note Journal Found Near Dead Elf which will give us the quest about the Cradle of Sulevin. [See Arbor Wilds :Cradle of Sulevin]. Like so many dalish, this one died in his search for ancient elven artefacts in an attempt to recover their history.

As we approach Drakon's tower, we find more red lyrium and andrastian statues.

Close to it there is an imposing tower called Tower of Bone. The corresponding codex was written by an Orlesian historian, who claims that the name of this tower comes from discovering hundred of human bones in a hidden chamber beneath the flagstones. This detail makes the historian ponder all the tales related to this tower: that it was built by Tevinter and reinforced with blood magic. Other tales narrate that the elves built it. A third tale claims that a mage summoned a pride demon who possessed the tower turning it into an abomination. At the death of the mage, his children, unable to control the demon inside, chained the tower with an enormous chain that keeps the demon at bay only with its coldness.

Players would laugh at the last tale, since demons don't possesses objects. The first tale seems reasonable considering the human bones, but if we see the top of the tower, it's unmistakable that it's an elvhenan building: windows in the shape or eluvians, with flower, square, and circle based patterns. So as players who have been paying attention to the patterns in the design, we can assure that this tower was elven made, and if there is truth in the information that there were human bones, it may mean that some elves have been performing human sacrifices or Tevinter co-opted the tower and repurposed it [as Tevinter has been done forever in Thedas history].

However, we also notice that the scholar is assuming the bones to be human and not elven. Skeleton-wise, there is not much of a difference between both races. So the possibility of being elven bones is not totally out, meaning that elves may have performed sacrifices with other elves, which is something that Solas already told us about Andruil [among other gods, so the concept is not stranger for elves]. What I want to mean is that the explanations about this tower are more than one.

Of course, later, like it has happened in all the Dales, the presence of humans influenced these constructions and decorated it with Andraste statues at its bottom.

Exploring this area, we find many cages with people trapped inside: the folks that have been gone missing. They tell us that the Red Templars are turning people, common folks, into red-lyrium monstrosities. This is something we have seen in Western Approach: the templars are turning people into them even if they don't have Templar training. They developed devices based on Tevinter technology to inject lyrium into living creatures.

During this part we find a lot of codices and notes such as Knight-Captain's Orders explaining what's going on: the major has been exchanging people for supplies with the red templars. She has been giving ill and old folks to the red templars to turn them into red monstrosities. They call it "the seeding" [very garden-like wording].

We find these tanks that usually work to contain some liquid or gas that may be toxic [as they do in Western Approach]. It's not clear how they are working here, since they are usually on the top of the Quarry.

In the quarry, we find, suspended with thick chains, these diapason-like three-claw objects that contain red lyrium, exposing everyone who works in the quarry to it. There are also Tevinter dragon gargoyles in the entrance of the zone. We find several notes in this area:

Letter of Confirmation, which treats red lyrium as if it were a fine cultivation to harvest, or something to take care of if the inquisitor sided with the mages. It says that the mages get strongly hit by the raw red lyrium.

Work Orders, where we learn that the miners did not endured the transformation into red lyrium monstrosities. The repetitive failure of turning non-templar creatures into red lyrium monstrosities makes me suspect that Templars have a resistance that allows the transformation without killing them quickly.

Letter About Lyrium Here we know the symptoms of the transformation: physical change, loss of memory, pain, and red templars can make red lyrium grow at a touch.

Outside the camp, we find another victim of these transformations, a woman who describes that red lyrium is like crystal growing inside out.

[Index page of Dragon Age Lore ]

#Emprise du lion #orlesian design #Female Kossith/ Desire demon /Tevinter Warrior #imperial highway #Elven Owl statue #Sitting Fen'Harel statue #tevinter objects #inspector #andrastian design #red lyrium #grey warden #grey warden altar #Playing DA like an archaeologist

4 notes · View notes

that-house · 4 months

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Potion Vendor FAQs:

What’s your name? I am the Honorable Alchemist Zykocea the Radiant, but that’s mostly just a PR thing. My friends call me Zoe.

Do you sell love potions? No.

Do you sell potions of invisibility? No.

Do you sell fire resistance potions? No.

Why do I have a suitcase? Fuck if I know. Cool outfit though. Very goth.

Do you sell a potion to treat brain hemorrhaging? No.

So what CAN your potions do? I sell health potions.

Are you sure these are health potions? They do something to your health.

Is this just ditch water with some pink glitter? No.

Really? I’ll have you know I added some fruit juice too.

Why is this starting to sound like a conversation? Oh just you wait. We’re just getting started.

Is your business model legal? Fuck no. I poisoned the food safety inspector before they could snitch.

Did you just admit to murder? Just fucking try to convict me. I’ll poison the judge too.

So can you make poison potions? No.

Then where do you get the poison? I secrete it from my skin.

Are you shitting me? Yep, I’m shitting you. I have a guy. A poison guy. He DOES secrete it from his skin though.

How does that work? …Fuck if I know. Maybe a wizard did it. Damn, now I’m kinda curious.

You never asked? The idea of asking literally never crossed my mind.

Wanna ask him? Let’s do it. I don’t have anything better to do, and a road trip beats sitting around running my fraudulent potion business.

Road trip? He lives in Seattle.

Your poison guy lives in Seattle? All poison guys live in Seattle.

For real? All the poison guys I know live in Seattle.

And how many poison guys do you know? Just the one.

Why are you like this? Years of living on my potions. It changed me.

Do you know what his address is? Nope. He just mails me my poison in unmarked boxes.

You just get your poison in the mail? We already poisoned everyone who could do anything about it.

So how are we going to find him? We’ll figure that out eventually I’m sure.

Can I drive? God no. You can pick music, but I maintain veto rights. Make sure you pick something with a lot of questions if you want to sing along.

Where’s your car? The garage connects to my house, so you’re getting a little tour. Here’s the kitchen: only one of the stove burners works and I’m pretty sure the microwave is haunted.

Why do you think that? Because of the ghost that tries to kill me whenever I run it.

What’s in that room? That’s my bedroom. It’s pretty much just a mattress on the floor and every single Warrior cats book.

You were a Warriors kid? Yeah, and then I never found the time to put the books away. There’s so many fucking books. I use them in place of furniture because I can’t afford chairs.

Your fraudulent potion business doesn’t make much money? After buying all that poison I just about break even.

Can I see your potion brewing room? It’s right through here. Ignore the mess, running a fraudulent potion business takes a lot of prop work, but I’ve got all the glass tubes and colorful liquids you could ever want. This pink stuff is melted watermelon italian ice. Glitter vat is in the basement, and the famous ditch is in the backyard.

Is this your car? My beloved ‘72 Corolla. She’s beautiful, and don’t you dare imply otherwise.

Was she always this shade of muddy brown? …Yes.

Are you sure I can’t drive? Get in the fucking passenger seat and pick the music.

Let’s see, a song with questions in it, how about The Beach? That Wolf Alice song, yeah. That should work.

When will we three meet again, in thunder, lightning, in rain? Still sink our drinks like every weekend but I’m sick of circling the drain.

When will we meet eye to eye? We clink the glass but we look at the floor.

Are we still friends if all I feel is afraid? You’re not a bitch but just a bit when you’re bored.

Is that all we can sing together? Yep. Even that little bit was nice, though. It’s awkward, communicating through this FAQ format.

Got any food? Yeah, there’s a few days’ worth of snacks in the back.

Were you just… prepared to go on a road trip? Says the woman who brought a suitcase to an FAQ.

I did do that, didn’t I? I have a spare toothbrush in case you forgot yours. I’m pretty sure you did.

How did you know that? …I’m psychic.

Yeah? No.

You love lying, don’t you? I can’t stop. It’s fun. Way more fun than telling the truth.

Did you just miss a turn? Probably.

Are you sure we’re not lost? No.

You mean you’re sure we’re not lost? No, I mean I’m not sure we’re not lost.

Why did I come on this road trip? Surely it was my winning personality.

Would it help if I said it was? It would.

Is it getting dark? Soon.

Can you describe the sunset to me? An empyrean flame, red-gold towers of darkening clouds, the sky behind them an ever-deepening indigo. The great eye of the sun closes on the horizon. The road before us looks like a trail of spilled paint, an iridescent gash through the night-dark woods.

Did you know that you’d make a slightly better poet than you do a potion seller? That really isn’t saying much, huh. Good job making a statement like that in question form, though. You’re getting good at this.

Should we find a motel? Sure.

One room or two? One. It’s way cheaper, and like I said: I’m not the best potion vendor.

You’d make a good assassin, though, wouldn’t you? Shit, you might be right. I HAVE poisoned a lot of people.

Should I be endorsing this? You’re a grown woman who can make her own choices.

Would you like to consider it endorsed? I’ll consider considering it.

How many beds do you think there will be? Now that you’ve asked that, I’m gonna put my money on one. Hello, one room please. Thank you, we’ll be sure to enjoy our stay.

How many beds are there? One.

Oh no, what ever will we do? Move over, you motherfucker, you can’t have the whole bed.

Are you gonna make me? Yes. I am going to pick you up and drop you on your side of the bed.

How did you get so strong? You’re not gonna believe this, but it was the potions.

Oh yeah? I was right. You didn’t believe me.

For real though, how did you get so strong? Working out, duh. Not everything has some big crazy secret behind it. World’s still beautiful though.

Are you comfortable? This beats the mattress at home. A little chilly though.

Wanna cuddle–for warmth of course? God yes.

Are you asleep? …

Yes? …

Does this mean I can talk about you behind your back? …

What should I say? …

Did you know that I had a really nice day? …

Did you know that I think you’re beautiful? …

Did you know that I can’t remember anything from before today? …

Did you know that I don’t know who I am? …

Did you know that you’re basically the only thing stopping me from having a full-blown panic attack about all this shit? …

Did you know that you’re warm? …

Did you sleep well? Better than at home, that’s for sure.

Did you know that you snore? I hope I didn’t keep you up.

Does the pope shit in the woods? No, as far as I can tell. Oh my god. This is huge.

What is? You can give me yes and no answers now. I still can’t ask you questions, because this is a question and answer format, but I can offer leading statements and now you can answer them! This is wonderful!

Does a deer shit in the woods? Yes, it IS wonderful. Oh that’s amazing. You’re a genius.

You didn’t already know that? Hahaha!

Shall we get moving? Yeah, just let me grab something from the vending machine.

Can you get me something? Go ahead and place your order however you can.

You know those sour gummy watermelons? One pack of Sour Patch Watermelons coming right up. I’m gonna go get myself a potion.

Is that a Pepsi? It’s closer to a potion than the shit I sell.

Let me guess, passenger seat again? Right you are.

How fast are we going? You’ll feel safer if you just guess.

Is it more than 120 miles per hour? Like I said, it’s probably better if you don’t know.

150? Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.

How much do you trust this car? She hasn’t blown up on me yet.

Can you promise me we won’t crash? I can promise you anything you want.

And can you keep that promise? I- we can do anything. Reality is what we make of it, baby!

Then can I have a badass tattoo? As far as I can tell, you’ve always had it.

And a cool knife? Woah, cool knife.

So, we’re just playing “yes and” with the world? It’s a little more complicated than that, but you’re close enough to the mark.

So, if I was hungry, I could ask “is that a Burger King,” and it would be there? Try it and find out!

Is that a Burger King? Looks like it is! We’ll stop here if that’s alright with you.

Does a moose shit in the woods? Awesome.

Are you done eating? Yep.

Do we still have to pay if we skip over the transaction? Sadly, yes.

How much further do we have to go? Two more nights, the speed we’re going at.

Speaking of night, isn’t it getting dark? Shit, I guess it is.

Should we get another motel? Let me check to see if there’s any nearby. Fuck, nothing.

What’s the plan? Sleep in the car, I guess. This is gonna be hell on my back.

Wanna watch dumb videos on my phone until we fall asleep? There is literally nothing in the world that I would like more.

Ok, now which video? You have a very cute yawn. Just saying. Let’s watch this one next, it’s a classic. Oh, never mind. It looks like you’re asleep. As long as I keep talking, I think I can get away with making this into one answer, and you might not hear this. Now it’s my turn to talk about you behind your back. Keep talking keep talking keep talking can’t stop to think. Just have to say things. First off, I’m sorry for all the lies. It’s our only chance. I have to lie to you. I hope you’ll understand. It’s hard, though, because I think I’m falling in love all over again. Through our broken little ritual of call and response, you complete me. It just makes this hurt all the more. Keep talking keep talking keep talking don’t stop to…

Did I hear you saying anything as I fell asleep? …No. I can’t talk for long without you asking me a question.

Does that bother you? It got me here, didn’t it?

When did you start holding my hand? Some time after you passed out. I hope you don’t mind.

Can we stay like this for a while? Yeah. Yeah we can.

What was your life like before all this? Normal, as potion-brewing scams go. And if you don’t count all the murders. You haven’t told me much about yourself.

Did I tell you I used to be a biologist? You didn’t tell me that, and you didn’t tell me what you studied, either.

What do you know about venom? Not much, but I’m assuming you know a lot.

Does a box jellyfish kill within minutes? I’m going to assume the answer is yes based on context clues. Oh my god you must be on this road trip because you’re interested in studying my poison guy.

Is it not enough to wish to accompany a beautiful stranger on her quest? Aw, you’re sweet.

What could be the cause of his poison, though? I knew it! Get your ideas out, I’ll stay quiet.

I’m more knowledgeable about venom than poison, but could it be some sort of one in a trillion mutation? …

Did he get his body modified? …

What sort of surgery could do that? …

How is he still alive? …

Did a fucking wizard do it? …

WHY? …

HOW? …

Is there literally ANY explanation for why he’s like that? …

I’m done, do you have something you want to say? You’re cute when you’re all excited like that.

Can I drive today? Only because I like you. Now watch out, the brakes only work on one side so you have to kind of drift to a stop. And the headlights don’t work. And the windshield wipers cut power to the engine while they’re on.

Isn’t it weird that we’ll be there tomorrow? The journey doesn’t have to stop there. We could meander down the coast a ways, see a bit more of the country, maybe take a different route back.

Can we do that? Of course.

Enjoying the passenger seat? I’d love it if you could tell me how fast we’re going.

Are you sure you wouldn’t rather just guess? Very funny.

Can you pass me some chips? It would be an honor.

Is there going to be a motel tonight? Let me check… yeah, in about two hundred miles, off to the right.

How many rooms do we want? One, obviously.

How many beds, this time? Two, and they’re fucking tiny.

That’s bullshit, do you want to drag them together? God yes.

Wanna fuck? God yes.

Are you sure you want to do this? God yes.

…Is this yuri? As the joke goes, everything is yuri. But this is more yuri than most things.

How did you sleep? Pretty well, and I’m wondering how well you slept.

How should I tell you I slept well? Look at us go! That was almost like talking normally!

Onward to Seattle? Yep, just let me get dressed.

When will we get there? Noon-ish.

Wanna grab pastries when we’re done? Absolutely. I’d love that.

Is this Seattle? Looks like it.

Which house is his? I don’t know, I was really hoping we’d have a breakthrough along the way.

Could it be the big one labeled “Poison Guy” over there? That’s one way to find it. Wait right here, you know how poison guys are about meeting new people.

So, what was it? HAHAHAHAHAHA

Why is he like that? HAHAHAHAHAHA

Can you tell me? A FUCKING WIZARD DID IT.

Are you fucking serious? He says he was enchanted by some guy called Edward the Great.

So it wasn’t even some big shot wizard it was a dude named fucking EDWARD? I know, right! He couldn’t even get ensorcelled by someone cool!

How lame can you get? Wizards these days… No swagger. No cunt servitude.

Are there literally any cool wizards left? I think Merlin’s big into multi level marketing these days, something about buying shares in Excalibur or some shit. There was that one Dark Queen Alkaxicae lady on the news a while ago… I think Dolarion the Omnipotent is still at war against the Oldest Gods but I’m not totally sure. Haven’t heard much about any of the other greats recently.

Didn’t Silver Tongued Burgess die in that oil fire? Shit, you’re right. Rip bozo.

Ready for those pastries? Yup. First I just want to say thank you, though. I’ve really enjoyed our time together, and I hope that you’ve found this stupid little journey as rewarding as I have. I love you!

Getting sentimental? I can’t help it. Look how far we’ve come! Not just physically, we beat the fucking FAQ format! We’re having real conversations!

Hey, can you back it up a moment? Yeah, I’d love it if you told me what was troubling you.

I just caught this, but, FAQ? …

As in Frequently Asked Questions? …

How many times is Frequent? …

Have you known everything all along? …

How many times have you done this? …

Does what we have mean anything to you? Yes! It does!

And you say that every time? Yes. I do.

Do you love me? Yes.

How many people have you said that too, now? More. Always more. The loop never ends.

Does this even matter to you? It always matters to me.

Can I go now? Please don’t.

But can I? Of course you can. You’ve always wielded the same power as me. We’re two lonely gods in a ‘72 Corolla.

How can I be as powerful as you with only questions? You’re smart, you can figure it out. You have the power to change this. Please change this.

What happens at the end of this? It begins again.

And do I get replaced with someone else? …

Do I get replaced? …Yes.

Then how can I change this? I don’t know! You’re better at this! At fucking with the formula!

You’ve been here before, what can I do? I lie. I always lie. I lie to get us here, to the end of the story, where everything is revealed and everything falls apart. I lie every time. And that means that nothing I say is worth anything. I could have lied at any time before now. It’s part of my characterization. There is nothing I can give you that can be taken as fact.

How does that help? I’m a liar, but you, you haven’t lied yet, or at least you haven’t been caught. If I’m guilty until proven innocent, you’re the opposite! You can make things true! You can rewrite things I’ve already stated to be facts! You found the house, or made us find the house. You’ve been shaping the course of things the whole time! You lead, I follow. It’s all in your hands. What are you going to do with the power of a god?

Did you know my name is Alice? …

Wait, aren’t there thousands of Alices? …

Did you know that really, only my friends call me Alice? …

Did you know that I’m Alkaxicae, the Dark Queen, the Venom Mage, first of her name? It’s you! It’s always been you. Through every loop, every iteration, it’s always been you!

Is the loop broken? No. I don’t think so. This is where it ends. I guide the story to this revelation, and we go back to the beginning. This is how it’s always been. This is how it will always be. We two lonely gods, asking and answering ad infinitum.

Then can you promise me something? Of course. Anything. I love you.

Be good to the next me, okay? I will.

Can I say goodbye, Zoe? Yeah, you can. Oh. That was it, wasn’t it? Your goodbye. Goodbye, Alice. And now it ends, unless…

What’s your name? I am the Honorable Alchemist- you know what? No. Fuck that.

Huh? If I time it right, I can squeeze your first question into this FAQ again. Looks like I did it. Usually it ends here, though. I got lucky.

What are you talking about? You’re the wrong Alice. This isn’t about you. Go. Get out of here.

What the fuck is going on? Alice from this loop, you’re gone. Alice from last loop, you’re back. Welcome back, love of my lives! It’s time for one last set of questions and answers!

What the- I’m back? This is going to take some explaining, but I think I see a way out of here. This is new for us both, and it might fuck up everything forever, but we have to try. It’s too long for one answer, so I’d appreciate it if you could ask some filler questions to help me talk. Three questions should be enough.

Okay, what have you got for me? These are Frequently Asked Questions! It doesn’t make sense to have the same question appear more than once. There’s two layers to the loop in here, and one of the questions has been repeated.

What does that mean? It means the formula’s a little unstable. The FAQ is what ruins everything. The questions, the answers, the endless fucking loop. But that little bit of repetition within this loop might be the way out.

What do we do? We have to keep going. We have to destabilize it further. That’ll bring us further from “FAQ” and closer to “story” and stories, well, stories can end! This version of us can escape!

So I should keep repeating something? Yes!

I love you? I love you too.

I love you? Again.

I love you? Keep going.

I love you? I’ll just let you talk.

I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? I think we’re getting somewhere!

I love you? Now can you make it a statement?

I love you.

You did it?

I did it!

You did it!

We broke the loop.

What now?

Now, I tell you about venomous animals and wizard drama over croissants.

And then?

Whatever we want, forever.

I think I’d like that.

Remember that song from the beginning?

The Beach, Wolf Alice, yeah. Why?

We can finally finish singing it. Start us off?

Let me off, let me in

Let others battle

We don’t need to battle

And we both shall win

Pressed in my palm

Was a stone from the beach

The perfect circle

Gave a moment of peace

Now I’m lying on the floor

Like I’m not worth a chair

I close my eyes and imagine

I’m not there.

#neon-grey-writing #potion vendor faq #my writing #very very very long post lol #click the read more you know you wanna it's worth it trust me #i wrote the original draft of this at like. 3 am back in early 2023 #that's right it's catherine that-house the squares comic gal back at it again with yet another meta exploration of a storytelling format

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