#that's kind-of a major point of that story in rots

[antianakin]

Just so everyone knows, it is ALWAYS fair to blame Anakin Skywalker and his stupid family drama for the galaxy's problems.

Always.

Because it's made VERY explicit that Palpatine would have lost if Anakin hadn't chosen to side with him in Revenge of the Sith. Anakin is a Child of Prophecy, but in that moment in Palpatine's office, he defies his own fate out of selfishness and greed and sides with Palpatine over the Jedi. If Anakin had just chosen differently or not shown up at all, Palpatine would've lost. Bada bing bada boom, no Palpatine, no Emperor, no Empire, no Death Stars. The Clone Wars end on the side of the Republic, the Sith lord running the Republic Senate is gone, the Sith lord running the Separatist government is gone, so there's an opportunity for the galaxy to find some way to end the conflict peacefully and regain a certain amount of balance going forward. Unfortunately, Anakin is the dictionary definition of a colossal failure and instead he throws the entire galaxy into a fascist dictatorship.

Sure, Palpatine was building an Empire without Anakin and if Anakin had just not existed at all, you could MAYBE question whether he would've been able to succeed. But there's just as much of an argument that he wouldn't have, that Mace would have killed him in his office anyway like he was well on his way to doing before Anakin decided to be a selfish greedy little bitch.

So while Luke and Leia obviously do end up doing a lot to SAVE the galaxy, it's their parents' stupid family drama that means they HAVE to do a lot to save the galaxy that Anakin and Padme broke by being horny young people who couldn't just do their jobs and keep it in their pants at the same time. Luke and Leia inherit the damage of their parents' stupid family drama.

I think it's ENTIRELY fair to lay the blame at Anakin's feet for the problems in the galaxy. He's a Child of Prophecy, the entire galaxy's fate literally turns on Anakin's choices and whims. Anakin decides to side with the Sith, the Sith win. Anakin keeps serving the Sith, the Sith stay in power. Anakin decides to turn on the Sith, the Sith die. Anakin's choices determine EVERYTHING because of what he is, so his stupid family dramas literally cause the galaxy to implode.

#anakin #luke #leia #who but anakin could have stopped palpatine? nobody. that's the point. but he should've done it TWENTY YEARS EARLIER. #also who could have stopped palpatine? mace windu if anakin hadn't stepped in and sided with the sith. #anakin made a choice and palpatine lived because of it #that's kind-of a major point of that story in rots #anakin's choices changes everything and he chooses wrong #he chooses selfishly and everything burns for it #anakin was willing to burn the world for padme and the world burned #and then anakin made a shocked pikachu face when his personal world burned right along with it #because anakin's a fucking IDIOT with an iq in the negatives #and somehow literal godlike powers over the fate of the universe #the force picked really badly is all i'm saying

[candlewaxandp0lar0ids]

jealousy, jealousy || Lee Know x Reader

Summary: "Sure, Minho missed an opportunity to spend more time around you in a relaxed setting, but is he upset about it? Does he get annoyed when he hears you talk with the guy behind him? Does hearing you chuckle at the guy’s stupid jokes, probably just to be polite, ‘cause he’s not that funny, make him want to claw the dude’s eyes out?

Well. Yes."

Or: You're working with a different partner for a group assignment, and Minho's totally chill about it.

Word count: 4.9k

Genres: college AU, coffee shop AU, strangers to lovers

Warnings & Tags: jealousy, kissing, minor language, tooth-rotting fluff, seriously this is so fluffy, reader is implied to have social anxiety, Thunderstorm

series masterlist

A/N: This is the second story I've written where Lee Know's a barista and cats are involved. It probably says something deep about me, but what? I hope you'll enjoy the fic, please consider letting me know your thoughts and reblogging the fic if you do~

Minho doesn't know exactly when he noticed you, or when you started appearing in his life. It’s kind of annoying actually, because he knows he noticed you because he kept seeing you around, but he has no way of pinpointing it. What he does know is that you started showing up at the coffee shop where he worked, twice every week. That wasn’t that big a deal, you were far from being the only one the only one, but it was a shop that was pretty out of the way, near an old building that was only used for a few classes, as far as he knew, so it wasn’t that frequented.

In fact, you could almost say that the people who bothered to come here were the weirdos who wanted to avoid the other permanently full coffee shops on campus. Which was fine by Minho, who wasn’t paid enough to deal with that sort of crowd.

Anyway, at some point, Minho’s brain had to have put together he was seeing you around quite a bit, and finally he managed to figure out that it was because you were in one of the classes he was rudely forced to take outside of his major. In his defense, it took him so long because he didn’t really like people, as a rule, and he paid as little attention to them as possible. His friends were enough of a hassle to deal with already.

It makes it all the more frustrating that he can’t tell what it was about you that caught his attention. It has to have been something. Once he starts trying to understand it, more things come to light. Like the fact that your lips move but your voice doesn’t come out when you thank him for giving you your order, or the sigh of relief you always seem to heave out when you let yourself fall at your favorite table, the one in the corner, where you sit with your back to the window.

Actually, from what he can see, you appear to do your best to stay out of people’s way. It’s a multitude of little things, from how you always sit in the middle of rows in the amphitheater and wait until everyone’s cleared out to leave, to how you keep close to the walls in the hallways, eyes usually on the floor, to how, on the couple of occasions when your voice can be heard in class, it’s only after the professor’s been waiting for an answer for an increasingly embarrassing amount of time.

The first time it happens — the first time Minho notices it happening, anyway — he has to make you repeat yourself louder, and it seems almost painful for you to raise your voice.

Then there’s that time when someone accidentally backs into you and the books and papers you’re carrying spill onto the floor.

“Shit, sorry,” they say, and you reply immediately, like it’s a reflex, “Oh, it’s nothing, don’t worry about it”, but afterwards, as you kneel next to the papers, you let out a defeated sigh, just staring at the mess for a few seconds. And that’s when Minho can’t stay in place anymore.

“Oh, thanks, you don’t have to do that,” you say, again, with that cadence that makes him feel like these are sentences that pour out of you without you getting much of say, so deeply ingrained in you that you can’t control them.

Then you glance up at him, and your eyes widen, little mouse caught in the cat’s gaze. He feels his lips curving into a grin. You recognize him, and you’re being very obvious about it too.

Cute.

“Thank you,” you repeat, taking your stuff from his hands and dipping your head to stop looking at him once you get control of yourself again.

“Vanilla latte, right?” he asks, and he probably shouldn’t be this amused by the way your head snaps back up and you freeze, but it’s— It’s kind of adorable. Though you’re obviously trying to reign yourself in, there is something so sincere about it that he can’t help but be enticed by it.

“Um,” you say. “Yes.” And then you visibly search for something to say next, rolling your lips together as if they’ll figure something out of a list of socially acceptable answers. As fun as this is, Minho decides to put you out of your misery.

For now anyway.

“I’ll give you a discount on the next one,” he says, and then he’s gone before you can start saying “You don’t have to do that”.

He actually slides the next one to you over the counter and tells you that it’s ‘on the house’. You hesitate for a few seconds, and he thinks you’re going to refuse, before you bow your head politely and thank him for it. You don’t quite look up at him after that, but a bright smile has spread on your lips.

Cute, he thinks, again, and then he doesn't think of it much at all. A part of his brain was intrigued by the novelty that you represented, and that part has been satiated now.

At least, that’s what he assumes.

You get his attention again a few weeks later. It’s fairly early in the morning and, as Minho does whenever he gets a chance, he’s behind the half abandoned building near the café, setting up some food for the cats that have taken residence here. It’s something he’s not really allowed to do, but also he’s never asked permission, so no one's told him that yet, which means that he’s not not allowed to do it either.

Still, when he hears footsteps approaching as he’s surrounded by a chorus of meows, there’s a part of him that considers making a run for it.

But then he’d have to run.

Which he doesn’t like doing.

You appear at the corner of the building before he’s made his decision. When your eyes meet, he half expects you to turn around and pretend you haven’t seen him. He’s pretty sure you’ve done that after a class, recently. You swallow, but you keep walking towards him, kneeling by his side and petting the cats as the braver ones rub themselves against your legs.

Whoever said that the surest way to a man’s heart was through his stomach clearly wasn’t obsessed with cats, because liking cats is maybe the most important requirement for Minho.

“Hi,” you say, at a surprisingly normal volume, and then, cadence a little too fast, “I have some cat food.”

Is it weird that he finds that attractive? It’s probably weird.

“Have you been stalking me?” he says more than he asks, vaguely aware of the fact that there’s something ironic about him saying those words.

Your eyes widen and you quickly shake your head.

“No! I— have classes in there,” you point at the building, “and I’ve— seen you come around here. We’ve been told we couldn’t feed the cats,” you add with a slight pout. “We still do it when we can get away with it, but it's good that someone is also taking care of them.”

And you break the law for the sake of cats. Isn’t this amazing.

“I can help you buy food,” you say. “If you’d like.”

He doesn't reply right away, and when the silence stretches a second too long, you start speaking again, faster and your voice lower now.

“Or not, you know, I don’t want to impose anything, I mean, I didn’t want to intrude—”

On the one hand, that seems more like you, based on the glimpses of you he’s been getting, and on the other, he’s not sure how to shut that down. The truth is, he can barely fit the expenses in his budget. He literally can't afford to refuse your help — but he doesn't think he’d do it if he could.

“You can help,” he says, interrupting you in the middle of a sentence where you’re basically apologizing for existing, and that seems to knock the breath out of you.

“Oh,” you say, “that’s good.”

He wonders if you walk into interactions with a prepared set of sentences and panic when anyone goes off script. That sounds kind of exhausting.

“I’ll bill you,” he adds, and the feeling he gets when you let out a light laugh is one he can’t quite explain. There’s a sense of pride in it, but also some much deeper satisfaction at the feeling of having gotten you to let that guard slip, even for just a few seconds.

“I have to go to class,” you say, getting up while you rummage through your tote bag to hand him a package of dry food. “But I’ll, uh, see you around?”

There’s an expectancy to your tone, a hope even. He wonders if you’re aware of it. Either way, that sincerity, which he’d noticed before, remains pleasantly refreshing.

“Sure,” he says.

The next time you show up at the coffee shop, Friday a few minutes after six, like always, he has your vanilla latte ready.

After that, Minho finds it fascinating to see how differently you react to him, depending on the situation. Every now and then, you meet him behind the building, usually early in the morning, before there are too many people around. They would probably recognize you, and then you’d get in trouble, you explain. Your voice is lighter then, your body more relaxed. You manage to chat with him, to make small talk.

‘Manage’ really is the word for it, because your behavior is worlds apart when he sees you in class. It’s clear by now that this just isn’t your element, so you stick to your script, and Minho just isn’t a part of it. He doesn’t take it too personally, considering that no one else seems to be either.

It’s obvious to him that you get there with the objective of being in and out of the building as efficiently as possible, and with as little interaction with others as you can get away with. He does approach you still on a couple of occasions, one of them being when the classes before yours ran late and everyone was waiting in the hallway. You're focused on your phone then, and you jump when he says your name.

“How are you doing?” he asks, leaning against the wall next to you.

“Oh,” you say, which he thinks is just your filler word to give yourself time to figure out what to say next. “Um. Good. How are you?”

“Good.”

Someone else would bristle at the awkwardness of the exchange, but Minho is mostly amused by it. After a few seconds of very visibly searching for something to say, you come up with “…and how are the cats?”, though your tone is hesitant, unsure.

“They’re good too,” he grins. “Went to visit them this morning. Also, I might have found an association that could them spayed.” He certainly can’t afford to pay for it.

“That’s great,” you say.

This time, he’s the one who takes it upon himself to save the conversation, casually pulling his phone out of his pocket.

“Wanna see my cats?”

You light up at the question, and Minho feels the same sort of pride he does when Dori jumps into his lap to ask for pets — instead of ungratefully evading him like the little shit he is.

It doesn’t last long, the class before yours ends soon, and after that you get back to your ‘just getting in and out’ state. It’s almost physical when it happens. The smile disappears from your lips as you press them together, you straighten your back, but the most impressive change is the way your eyebrows tighten, a small line forming between them. Minho almost wants to reach out to wipe it from your forehead, but he doesn’t. Baby steps, that’s what you need, not him invading your personal space by that much.

He doesn’t ask himself, even for a second, why he’s willing to go through that much trouble to get closer to you. He just goes with the flow, as he always has, and that works fine for him.

He doesn’t sit next to you in class, thinks it would only stress you out more, make you too aware of his presence and of how you react to it. Instead, he takes a spot right in front of you, where he can’t see you but can easily check on you if he wants to — which he does. He refrains from doing it too much though, because on more than one occasion, he caught you looking at him, and you averted your eyes quickly, acting a little too invested in your note taking.

He still thinks it’s cute, but he doesn’t want to make you go in hiding, so he holds himself back.

Which comes back to bite him in the ass, rudely, when the teacher announces that he wants people to work in pair for an assignment.

He turns around to ask you to work with him, and sees, right in front of his eyes, as the guy sitting next to you asks you the same thing in a casual manner. You reply too fast, one of your knee-jerk answers, he can tell, but it’s still done before he even got the time to open his mouth. He also knows, instinctively, that you’ll feel embarrassed if he asks you now, so he doesn’t, turning to his own neighbor while holding back the strange urge to hiss at the guy.

…maybe he spends too much time with cats, actually.

Minho’s fine with the situation. He is. He still gets to be around you some mornings, and you now look him in the eye when you place your order at the coffee shop. You also don’t recoil as much as you used to when he leans over the counter, ostensibly to flirt with you — though he’s like, 98% sure you haven’t realized that’s what he’s doing. He’s making progress in getting you to feel more comfortable around him.

Sure, he missed an opportunity to spend more time around you in a relaxed setting, but is he upset about it? Does he get annoyed when he hears you talk with the guy behind him? Does hearing you chuckle at the guy’s stupid jokes, probably just to be polite, ‘cause he’s not that funny, make him want to claw the dude’s eyes out?

Well. Yes.

He’s been moody about it for days, to the point that Jisung pouted at him, asking him “what was wrong with him these days”, and Changbin looked him dead in the eyes to ask him if he needed help to get a girl, because he clearly needed to get laid.

A conversation he got out of by replying “do you want to die”, which is a card he’s maybe been playing a little too much these days.

He’s been in a good mood today, though. He’d seen you in the morning, and you’d helped him try to make a small shelter for the cats, because it had been announced that there would be heavy rain over the whole week-end. It had been a fun time, and maybe he’d used the opportunity to get closer to you than usual, enjoying how flustered it made you. Just brushing against you as he grabbed some planks you’d sneaked out of the building, totally accidentally touching your hand when you handed him something, that kind of things.

He had somewhat ruined the effect by accidentally dropping a plank on his foot, but that had made you laugh, so, it was— No, it still wasn’t worth it, he didn’t enjoy pain, but it made him slightly less annoyed about it.

So, as he waited for you in the coffee shop, as the skies outside darkened and fewer people than usual showed up, he wasn’t in as bad a mood as he’d been lately.

It started to rain at around half past five. He would have loved to run to get you with an umbrella, but he, unfortunately, needed his job. He did get a towel ready to hand to you, in case you didn’t have anything to protect yourself from the rain.

And then you came in.

Under an umbrella.

Which was in the hands of the one guy that was your partner in that one class.

Violent thoughts of murder flash before Minho’s eyes.

“Hey,” you say as you walk to the counter, giving him a bright smile, “this is Jooyeon, he’s in—”

“Class with us,” Minho completes with a smile that’s very much fake, “yes, I recognize him.”

Actually, technically, Jooyeon hasn’t done anything wrong, but it doesn’t help that he’s been looking at you and following you around like a damn puppy. What annoys Minho the most is probably the fact that you seem a lot chiller around him, a lot more natural than you are whenever Minho’s around. That’s— upsetting. He wants to see these sides of you, too, and not just from afar.

One vanilla latte and an americano later, you and Jooyeon sit by the window, in your usual spot, and Minho can’t stop himself from glaring. Jisung, or anyone, really, would call him out on it in a matter of seconds, because he’s not being subtle about it, but there’s no one around right now. The room, which is rarely full, is emptier than usual because most people rushed to get home to try to avoid the downpour.

That means that there is nothing to distract him from the intrusive thoughts that are trying to convince him to just throw something at Jooyeon. Anything would do.

When it starts becoming a little too tempting, and considering that he doubts anyone would brave the rain that’s falling at the moment, as thick as a curtain separating the coffee shop from the outside world, he decides to grab his computer and try to get some work done.

Of course, because some divinity out there must have decided to target him today, he’s just getting started and finding his rhythm when the lights flicker above him. He glances up. In the distance, the thunder rumbles.

There’s a flash outside.

And everything goes dark.

Fuck. His. Life.

With a sigh, he pulls out his phone to turn on his flashlight. At least, in this day and age, most people in the shop have the same idea, and soon enough he can see what’s happening.

“It’s probably just a power cut because of the storm,” he announces loudly, because it’s his responsibility to reassure the clients — if that had been something they’d tested for when he was interviewed, he would never have gotten the job. “Lights might come back on soon.” Or not, how would he know. “No reason to panic.”

He scans the faces of students, though he’s not sure what he’s looking for. Some people look worried, others, no doubt those who know that this happens semi-regularly on campus when there’s a storm, because why would your tuition pay to ensure that you have reliable electricity in here, just seem prepared to wait it out. Someone’s already gone back to tapping on their keyboard, though the sound of it is swallowed by that of the rain.

But then, he does a double-take, just to check on an impression that he had, and that confirms what he thought.

You’re not in the room. Most likely explanation is that you’re in the bathroom, but he has to imagine that it’s a pretty freaky experience, when all the lights turn off without warning and you’re all alone.

So, without thinking much about it, he makes his way in that direction. He’s hesitating in front of the door when it pushes open, and he’s suddenly blinded by cellphone light.

“Sorry!” he hears you apologize before he can make out your face. “I, uh, is the power out?”

“It looks like it,” he answers, and then his tone softens. “Are you okay?”

There’s a few seconds of silence, and he can’t quite discern your expression, because you’ve both lowered your lights. He resists the urge to reach for you, to inspect you to see for himself that everything is fine.

“I’m fine,” you answer. “I just—”

Then there’s the crack of thunder, and you jump, gasping, before closing your eyes in obvious annoyance.

“Fuck,” you say, and he wonders if it’s the first time that he’s ever heard you swear. And if it’s weird that he’s kinda into it.

“You scared of storms?” he asks, trying his best to contain the amusement in his voice.

“No,” you protest, a little defensively. “I don’t like being surprised— Fuck!”

Minho knows he shouldn’t laugh, that making fun of you could ruin the trust he’s been trying to build this past month, but at your annoyance for letting yourself be taken by surprise, and considering your obvious lack of fear, he can’t help it. It comes out higher than his usual pitch, a little airy. You roll your eyes at it, but you don’t seem to miss the humor in the situation, because a smile forms on your lips as well.

At that point, because he isn’t one to let an opportunity slip, he reaches out to take your hand in his. Your palm is soft, if somewhat calloused on the spot under your fingers, and after the first moment of surprise, you squeeze his hand in response.

“It’s okay,” he says. “It should be over soon.” Then a pause. “Or maybe we’ll be stuck here until we have to decide who we’re going to eat.”

You laugh at that, brief and light, and as cliché as it is, Minho thinks that is quickly becoming one of his favorite sounds in the world. Especially when he’s the one making you laugh, and not that jackass Joo— Ah, the kid hasn’t technically done anything, and it feels silly to blame him when you’re here with your hand in his.

So he’ll let it go. For now.

As much as he would like to stay here with you, in the dark, away from everyone else, Minho unfortunately has stuff he needs to take care of right now.

“Wanna go back with the others? I think I have to keep an eye on them.”

“Sure,” you say. You don’t attempt to take your hand from his, and so he pulls you along with him. He’s not going to let go if you won’t.

Things in the café are still quiet, and people don’t pay a lot of attention when the two of you come back, except for Jooyeon, who gets up from his seat.

“That must have taken you by surprise,” he says with empathy. “Everything okay?”

“All good,” you reply warmly, and there’s a pinch in Minho’s chest again. “I think we’ll have to postpone the session though. I’ll let you know when I’m free, if that’s okay with you?”

Ugh. Minho tunes Jooyeon’s response out, only waiting for an opportunity to whisk you away. He probably shouldn’t feel this strongly about it, is aware that you’re entirely within your own rights if you want to pick Jooyeon over him, but from his perspective, that doesn’t mean he has to let it be an easy decision to make. He’s not the type to lie down and just watch as that happens.

So the second Jooyeon’s eyes flick back to his computer, Minho’s taking you towards the counter with him. He checks the register once he’s there — which he definitely shouldn’t have let unattended without verifying that it couldn’t be accessed without electricity, oops, his bad — and after having confirmed that everything’s fine, his eyes go back to you.

The spike in his heart rate when he finds you already staring at him surprises him a little. He supposes that he can’t be that jealous without also having that sort of reaction to you. It’s not… unpleasant, actually, though the strength of it surprises him. It’s not the kind of emotion he usually welcomes, he’s used to them feeling less sharp, duller. But he doesn’t reject that one.

Gently, he rubs the back of your hand with his thumb, enjoying the feeling of your skin against his.

“Is there an issue between him and Jooyeon?” you ask, voice soft.

Ah. For someone who’s so completely oblivious about his interest in you, you were sure quick to notice that.

“You could say that,” he replies, and you frown.

“I didn’t know that,” you say, words coming out slow, like you’re figuring out what to say as you go, instead of defaulting to your usual pre-built answers. “Can I ask why?”

Minho raises an eyebrow. Then, wordlessly, he shifts himself so that you’re against the counter, with him standing in front of you. It’s interesting, because he’s almost exactly in the spot where he is every day, and every time he steals glances at you to make his day marginally better. He puts his hands on either side of you, hears you take a sharp breath.

“Is it okay if I kiss you?”

His voice comes out soft and muted, and as he asks, he feels something squeeze at his heart. Maybe because he’s not sure of what you'll answer. Maybe because he could have misread you, thought that you were oblivious when the truth was that you weren't interested. He could be keeping you away from your one true love, Jooyeon, who you’re going to go on to marry and have three k—

“Yes,” you squeak.

Ok, never mind.

Technically you’re in public, but it’s not like anyone’s looking your way, or like they'd see something other than silhouettes when he leans towards you.

It feels so natural when he kisses you. You lift your arms to wrap them around his neck, his hands find their place on your hips. Much to his surprise, you’re the one who presses yourself into him, lips moving softly against his, and it sends a jolt of electricity through his body. Suddenly there’s urgency running through his veins, desire, and his fingers dig harder into you. He kisses you with more intensity, like he’s trying to get rid of any space left between the two of you, and the soft sigh you let out only spurs him on further.

He’s seconds — fractions of seconds — away from doing something stupid when laughter and claps fill the room.

He parts from you, feeling his ears and cheeks turning red already, and discovers that the lights treacherously turned back on, and everyone is looking at the two of you. Protectiveness rushes through him, and he’s about to say something snappy, thinking that you’d be uncomfortable with it, when he realizes that you’re doubled over in laughter. Yes, you look a little embarrassed, but mostly, you seem fine with it.

Which is good, because otherwise he thinks he might have lost the shop a number of customers.

Everyone looks amused and happy for the two of you. Even Jooyeon’s grinning, though the look he gives Minho says, essentially, “Oh that was your problem”. It doesn’t capture people’s attention very long, but there’s something very sweet and human about the moment and how happy it seems to make everyone. Some regulars even exchange glances that seem to mean ‘I told you so’. Ha, he didn’t think he’d ever become campus gossip.

Once there are fewer eyes on the two of you, Minho leans towards you.

“I’ll take you on a date anywhere, as long as it’s not to get coffee.”

Your face lights up.

“I’d love that.”

Working at a coffee shop is not something that Minho finds very fun. Someone who enjoys human interactions more than him might, but it just feels very repetitive to him. Doing the same movements, asking the same questions, having to deal with the same issues from asshole customers who are different but also fundamentally the same person. The ding of cash register, the one of no contact credit cards, the buzzing of the coffee machine. It’s repetitive, but in a way that fills and numbs the mind.

There’s just one sound that he minds a little less now, and it’s the one the door makes when it opens.

Because, every now and again, it means that you’ve just come in.

“Hey,” you say as you reach the counter. You’re smiling so bright, and he loves it because he knows that it’s another one of those things that you can’t help. You’re smiling because he makes you happy, and isn’t that the best thing in the world?

“Dating the barista doesn’t entitle you to free coffee,” he says as he slides your vanilla latte over to you, though he has used his employee discount on everything you’ve ordered lately and he would very much give it to you for free if you didn’t insist on paying for your own stuff.

“We’re still on for tonight?” you ask, taking the coffee from the table.

“You think I’d let you get out of it?” he replies, and you laugh, before taking off to go to your usual table.

After that, he keeps going, keeps doing the same movements, asking the same questions, hearing the same noises. But sometimes, he glances in your direction and finds you focused on your computer, biting your lower lip as you’re deep in thought, or looking at him with a smile, and it makes it all more bearable.

Because you give him something to look forward to.

Taglist: @lethallyprotected @jisuperboard

#stray kids #lee know #lee know x reader #minho x reader #stray kids imagine #skz #lee know imagine #skz imagine #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #skz fanfic #stray kids fanfic #lee know fanfic #lee minho x reader #lee know fluff #skz fluff #stray kids fluff #candywrites

[demodraws0606]

WxS THEORY : Rui is driving himself into a corner

Ok I needed to make a big rambly analysis post again because I just read this post that absolutely rotted my brain (pls check it out) -> https://www.tumblr.com/sankatsuka/741871319388389377?source=share

I kinda want to share my overall thoughts on how Rui is being written overall and what I think it could possibly lead to.

Introduction.

So okay... we can agree how colorpalet writes Rui is weird as shit right ?

Like, this is very obvious when you look at Rui's two most recent events Backlight and Curtain. Both of them actually end on cliffhangers, leaving things open ended with hints at future problems. In fact Curtain Call's consequences haven't been fully addressed yet as Rui still hasn't talk about Asahi to WxS and we know he's coming back.

However, it's not just that that could be pointed out as strange, in fact, in both of these events Rui fails.

In Curtain Call, he fails to understand his own feelings as he accepts to join Arcland.

In Backlight, he fails to understand how to fix the issue in the movie

Not only that but those events both show Rui isolating himself from WxS (with varying levels of severity) trying to figure out the problem and fix it. Often to the point where WxS get mildly concerned for him and want to help him (again with varying levels of severity).

Both of these events seem to show that Rui is stuck on something, there is a reason why he can't seem to solve the problems that he's facing weither major or minor.

So, clearly there is a reocurring problem right ? If Rui seemingly keeps on failing then colorpalet has to be setting up something.

With Curtain Call it seemed like what they were setting up was some kind of confrontation about the disbandement but Rui is weirdly set aside in the Emu's event. Which it doesn't feel like a mistake considering they chose to make it an Emu event instead of Rui on purpose when they couldn't have it be a Tsukasa focus.

In Happy End, Rui's communication with WxS is very limited. His feelings never get personally confronted as he mostly just attempts to try and fix the situation until he's met with rejection to which he just very much gives up. It's only when Emu's brothers offer an olive branch that Rui finally jumps at the opportunity to speak.

However, despite it being a hopeful step forward...it doesn't fix Rui's issues here. In fact he withdraws from even speaking about his situation with Asahi which for me is the baseline of Rui being honest with his feelings.

Sure, he does end up helping in Happy End and his feelings are reafirmed but...he also fails here. His first plan to keep them together fails because he didn't communicate with them, it's Emu's brother that truly end up coming up with a solution at the end.

So what is Rui's problem ? What is the red flag that colorpalet keeps waving ?

2. A concerning pattern

Post-Curtain Call helped highlight a very clear pattern with Rui.

It's a toxic mix between his abandonnement issues and self sacrificing nature.

Rui gets insecure a lot about how his potentialy missgivings could affect WxS, to the point where it's become a concerning pattern.

-Dazzling Light Event (and Nene Canary Event) : Rui gets insecure over not being able to be a suitable director for Tsukasa and hurting his acting in the process. This insecurity comes back again in Nene's fourth event in Rui's side card story.

-Shibuya fes with Mafurui : He almost hurts his fucking leg because he couldn't bear the idea that he could inconvenience WxS

-Disbandement Arc : He refused to talk to WxS about his feelings and still hasn't talked fully about them with Asahi. He literally isolated himself to make a plan to keep WxS together behind their back.

All of these show that Rui still has this fear that he could do something that would set him apart from WxS and that often influences his actions.

Rui's issue here is a lack of priority and a self sacrificial nature that borderlines on self destructive at some poiints. Everything he does is motivated in some sense by WxS.

Recently when he mentions his dreams and ambition like in Tsukasa's most recent event, he wants to make WxS shine. It's the subject of one of his early second art stickers.

"I'll bring out your strength"

Which... let's talk about Rui's dreams and amibitons.

3. Rui and his dream

A lot of people characterise Rui as extremely passionate which is true....or is it really ?

Okay here me out, I don't think we can deny he definitely has a lot of passion for what he does but we can't deny there is definitely something going on.

First of all, Rui is the only character where we don't really have an event of him trying to progress towards his dream, backlight is the first one and it shows him failing.

Second of all, Rui is the only one to have been ready to compromise his dream for WxS which has not been the case for anyone else in WxS. Sure Emu left Pheonix Wonderland, but she knows she'll come back eventually.

Which like leads me to this realisation with his second event specifically it's name, Revival My Dream.

The event where we see Rui at his happiest, fully comfortable in where he was compared to now.

His dreams has never just been to bring people smiles, what he always wanted was a way to connect with people with shows to have a group of friends that actually liked him and didn't reject him for being weird.

But he was bullied into accepting that he didn't actually care about other people, he rationalised that maybe accomplishing his dream alone would make him happy but his friends are part of his dream.

It's this conflict between his dream and his relationship with WxS that is fucking him up especially post-curtain call.

He has to support WxS, he has to be the reliable one, he has to figure out how they can still stay together...

But why ? Why does he put that responsibility in himself

Even then in the Backlight event he's so obsessed with finding the answer himself

Because he's still on that mindset, similar to wonder-halloween just a lot less severe. WxS saved him and they mean the world to him that he'll just allow to be trampled just to make them happy. In fact you see that with even more simpple fun moments with how he ate Touya's rancid cupcake just to make him happy, it's shown time and time again he will sacrifice his own needs for the needs of others to a dangerous point.

4. What it means for Rui's future

I think all these things will end up catching up to Rui

We saw this with Tsukasa, we saw his ups and downs of trying to improve and fight his insecurities led to him having a breakdown.

All these things just keep on building up and colorpalet is very unsubtle with how strange they are with his sad expressions in the tetrad 2dmv and his trained cards (which i can go deeper into).

This could go again in different ways but eventually WxS will have to confront him about it, finally make him communicate his feelings for once.

Again we still have Cyberpunk Deadboy and what it could signify for the future of Rui's arc which I already talked about

It's all just really strange and weird there are even stranger things that i could talk about but i'm eepy so i'll leave it at that lol

#wxs #pjsk #project sekai #wxs rui #rui kamishiro #wonderlandxshowtime #rui #pjsk analysis #pjsk theory #project sekai analysis #rui kamishiro analysis #project sekai colorful stage #puroseka

[myuiis]

sally park: a missed opportunity

this is probably going to rot in drafts for a WHILE but i needed to scream into the void about this so let me rant to YOU (yes, you) about how ptj fucked up sally park's writing and purpose in the story so much that she is now just a bundle of missed opportunities. the same could also be said about other characters like crystal choi, luah lim, etc. but i just reread hunt for hostel and i have a lot of insane thoughts that need to be screamed about.

as a character who was the center of attention during her introduction arc, she has been reduced to simply an eli enabler and warren's love interest, who gets about 3 panels to really shine, and then is demoted back into window dressing.

warning: mild eli hate ahead but i do NOT hate eli, i just hate ptj for making everything hostel related eli-centric, when sally is arguably just as important.

so. lets start at the beginning.

from the very beginning, the eli jang arc was told from sally's perspective especially based off the narration, and her character during the majority of the eli jang arc BANGED. initially introduced as a classic demure, feminine savior figure for bad boy warren in the first chapter of the eli jang arc, it's then shown that she isn't as naive or one-dimensional as she may seem.

in fact, shes shown to be fiercely independent and self-sufficient, learning to live by herself and deal with her own problems without anyone helping her, while simultaneously grappling with her grandmother blaming her over her dad's death (side note this plotline, which could've added so much depth to her story was NEVER picked up again)

on my first read of the eli jang arc, this sequence actually punched me in the gut and sally became an instant fav

but i digress. continuing back to the main point, sally was a tremendously well written character (or as good as we're gonna' get when it comes to female characters by ptj) in the eli jang arc, whether it be her narration (scenes like "sometimes i think if i hadn't introduced them to eli back then, our story wouldn't have been such a tragedy"), or her actual actions in the story.

she was integral to the story. in fact, i would say that she was MORE central to the heart and soul of hostel than eli jang was (at first, before she got butchered by ptj and forgotten about) because it was HER that was providing for her family with HER own money, until eli stepped in months later. she was the one that everyone wanted to assist and protect because she was who was holding everyone together through her sacrifice and love.

LOOK AT HER!!! just LOOK AT HER!!! she is so noble and tragic and she does everything for the sake of her family, including starving herself! she is so tremendously loving and sacrifices so much for her family, which is why everyone unites around her to help her!

in fact, the reason warren, eli, and others devolve into crime and stealing is to help her get more money for food, as they can't bear to see her starve herself. while this does come off a little bit white knight-ey (oh a big strong man has to save the sweet damsel), the point is that she has this kind of power over the people around her through her genuine leadership skills

not only that, but she was actually also the one who came up with the idea of using their old building to provide for more homeless kids, showing that she really should be credited with the creation and management of the runaway fams, far more than she is in the story.

even though, immediately after, its shown that she didn't think enough about the financials of the situation, and eli gets his time to shine by coming up with the point organization stuff, the way its framed portrays both sally's idea and eli's financial proposal of the financial system as equally important things. this scene makes me think that, at the very least, sally and eli's importance should be on equal footing: sally is the passion, the heart, the core, while eli is the figurehead, the brains, the fighter.

in summary, sally was the person who united the original hostel A through her leadership, kindness, and sacrifice, and had so much soft power over everyone that the entirety of her family would do anything to help her. she also came up with the idea of helping runaway families, demonstrating her kindness and generosity.

not only that, she was still actively managing the runaway families and making money while eli fucked off to j high to become a barber, allowing her to get closer to the runaway fams and inspire them with her leadership.

with all that said, it's clear that sally should be a three-dimensional girlboss who uses her charisma and good personality to gain soft power and lead the people around her as one of the figureheads and hearts of the hostel crew, right?

well. no.

after the eli jang arc, she becomes close to useless.

i dont remember much of 2A outside of the big deal stuff, but what i do remember is that sally does nothing, wins a singular rock-papers-scissors game, and then becomes a damsel in distress again that warren needs to save and gets to show off his cool fighting skills in the process. (this may not be accurate, feel free to correct me if im wrong)

but my BIGGEST gripe is the hunt for hostel arc. the hunt for hostel arc was very much centered around eli, warren, and even jerry, more than it was sally, despite how much of an integral role she played in the formation of hostel. during the entire arc, she does basically nothing but watch on the sidelines

... and then ptj pulls this on us. they all unite because they admire and love eli jang so much? only eli jang? not warren chae, gangdong's mighty? not max and derek, the two uncles? not sally park, THE big mama?

i cannot emphasize how ironic it is that sally, the big mama, quite literally gave birth to the idea of the runaway fams, and yet nobody mentions her again afterwards, and only ever eli jang. like... what did eli ever do for you? give you a shitty haircut?

and when warren and eli leave, i FINALLY thought that ptj was going to give sally a moment to shine and show her by herself again, like she was all that time ago, and how she figures out how to save her family despite being unable to fight...

but no. we get this sick ass panel and then she is completely irrelevant again

the next example of the sally erasure comes when eugene is talking to eli about him joining workers. he tries to convince eli that this is the ONLY thing that he can do to protect his family, and that, now that he's here and so is warren, hostel is weak and helpless because the MEN that get everything done aren't there anymore and "oh no, what can sally park and the girls do?"

like fym "what can they do"?! sally is a LEADER and she has POWER and INFLUENCE (or at least, she should). but no, the narrative doesn't prove him wrong, and sally does next to nothing in the narrative.

i cannot emphasize how much more of a leader figure she is than eli btw. she took all the runaway kids under her wing. it was her idea to build an organization for these kids in the first place. she was the one singlehandedly raising money for all 7 high schoolers in her family before eli stepped in. she STARVED HERSELF and CUT HER OWN FINGERS trying to make food for her family. she was THE big mama. EVERYONE wanted to protect her and respect and love her. and yet ELI is the main character of hostel that is oh so important and that everyone will unite under????

"oh no without you how will anything get done, eli jang?" stfu

and even when she does do things, later on, it's really more of an excuse for vasco to shine. while she was the one to get heather's mom to forgive eli, as well as the one that got vasco to save eli in the first place, 1) her major role in this part of the story is entirely sidelined and given no narrative weight outside of being the reason that eli's healing arc can happen and 2) the only agency we've ever seen her having since hostel arc is in relation to eli. she only ever acts on her own to save eli. she PROBABLY did stuff outside of that to help hostel, but that is entirely offscreen and not focused on at all, so her leadership and agency when it comes to things outside of a MAN are ignored.

in chapter 478, i thought that she was once again given a brief moment to shine when she looked sad and all wondering what they would do once they didn't have the income workers supplied them with, and i was hoping that she'd get a chance to creatively problem solve around it to show a good character moment for her and the rest of hostel... but who am i kidding this is ptj of course he wouldnt do that. nah, it was just a scene so that vasco could introduce jay again and be like "hey guys jay is actually relevant to the story and he's a nice person, just so you guys dont forget that he's still there! and also ignore this deus ex machina ass solution to a conflict that could've been a really interesting character study!!"

so yeah. that's basically it. in conclusion, i think sally park is a HUGE missed opportunity for ptj to finally write a good female character. kind, compassionate, charismatic, smart, sally's got it all. however, just because she is a soft character doesn't mean that she's a pushover and she held tremendous power and authority because of everything she did for her family. however, ptj decides to do nothing with her and turn her into an eli enabler and a warren love interest instead, ignoring her leadership skills and influence.

and once again, no hate to eli, warren, jerry, jay, or any of the other character i just shat on to make a point!! i like all of them, but i just think that sally's character assassination to allow them to shine was an infuriating decision on ptj's part

#lookism #lookism manhwa #eli jang #jang hyun #eli lookism #warren chae #chae wonseok #jerry kwon #kwon jitae #sally park #lookism rant #literature analysis #(?) kinda #hostel #lookism webtoon #jay hong #hong jaeyeol #i hate how ptj treats his female characters #women deserve better

[use-your-telescope]

Together by this Christmas Tree

Summary: The Avengers have an annual tradition of a Secret Santa Gift Exchange, and Theo’s life becomes a real life Hallmark Movie when she draws Loki’s name and has to get him five days of gifts. Because shopping for a god and a prince, especially one that you have a massive crush on, is easy, right?!

Author's Notes: HELLO AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS! This is a one-shot set in the WEMTBB world with our favorite sorcerers, however you do not need to be caught up on (or even have started) WEMTBB in order to enjoy this story! For those of you who are reading WEMTBB, this takes place in the future, when these two are in their “mutual pining idiots” stage; you will absolutely spot some easter eggs, but there are no major spoilers here.

This is for @sarahscribbles Christmas Collection, because I’m strolling in five minutes late with Starbucks for Christmas by posting this the day after Christmas. If you're a regular reader of WEMTBB, I am still planning to update it on Sunday (12/31).

Content: Absolute tooth-rotting fluff, Secret Santa, LOADS of mutual pining, Wanda being a very supportive friend, some pranks along the way, Loki in multiple sweaters, and lots of Loki getting the love, kindness, and attention he deserves.

Word Count: 8,104

Read on AO3 | When Everything's Made to be Broken Masterlist

—

When Steve first made the announcement, at the end of a mission debrief, Theo swore he was joking.

The idea of the Avengers making a point to celebrate Christmas seemed a bit strange - beyond the fact that there were two Norse Gods on the team, it seemed presumptuous to assume everyone else was Christian. 

Theo’s feelings about the winter holidays were, at best, ambivalent. Sure, she liked the holiday lights, and she was a sucker for a good holiday song. She enjoyed showering her niece, Katie, with presents - after all, what kind of auntie would Theo be if she didn’t absolutely spoil her niece? And any time Theo could visit Mémère for longer than an hour or two was a blessing in its own right.

But the holidays also reminded her of the family she lost, and being the single friend at every holiday party got tiring (especially when her well-intended friends kept trying to set Theo up with people that Theo had absolutely no interest in). It had reached a point that Theo often volunteered to work the holiday shifts, as chaotic as they were, just so she had the excuse to avoid awkward gatherings.

However, when the other Avengers lit up like the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree at the announcement of the Secret Santa gift exchange, Theo kept her mouth shut. She was still relatively new to the team, and it wasn’t the first time she had been subjected to workplace celebrations for holidays she didn’t celebrate. 

But of course, this was a group of superheroes celebrating, so it wasn’t a basic Secret Santa; no, of course not, because nothing about them was basic. It was five days of secret Santa. 

At least the rules were simple: each person drew the name of another Avenger. Then, you had to give the person whose name you drew a series of gifts with clues about your identity leading up to the final day, when you would give them a gift and a final clue. Then, each person would try to guess who their Secret Santa was. Regardless of whether or not they figured it out, each person would receive one final gift, something a bit more special.

Steve closed the announcement by informing the group they would draw names the following Monday, and would have approximately a month to pick out gifts before they completed the exchange. A certain buzz filled the air as everyone left the conference room, with some reminiscing about funny moments from past exchanges, while others pondered over who they might end up with.

It wasn’t until after the meeting that Theo had the foresight to ask if the Secret Santa exchange was meant to replace getting everyone their own gifts, or if it was in addition to getting everyone their own gifts. Wanda, ever the MVP when it came to explaining unwritten Avengers’ rules to Theo, explained that it was in addition to getting everyone else gifts. 

Theo spent the next two days praying she would get someone easy to shop for - after all, she already had to get gifts for a dozen Avengers, plus her hospital colleagues, and her family. She wasn’t sure that she had enough mental capacity to figure out gifts for someone she wasn’t as familiar with.

Of course, some deity had it out for her, because she drew Loki’s name.

Loki, the prince and ‘most powerful sorcerer in the nine realms,’ who could buy or conjure pretty much anything he wanted in the snap of his fingers.

Loki, who, besides being Theo’s best friend among the Avengers, happened to be the person Theo had a massive fucking crush on.

It wasn’t like anything would ever come of the crush - Loki had a firm rule that he did not date. He had no interest in relationships whatsoever. It was a tidbit of information Theo learned early on in her tenure as an Avenger, amidst a conversation about the love lives of the Avengers as a whole. Loki would spend one night with someone, but never allow it to become an ongoing thing - in his words, “everyone has certain needs to satiate, but courting someone is no interest of mine.” 

So, despite Theo’s unbidden thoughts of channeling her inner hallmark movie to reveal her feelings to Loki, she needed to figure out how the hell to navigate getting him Secret Santa gifts, a normal gift… oh yeah, and his birthday gift, because that was a week before Christmas.

Inevitably, once they finished drawing names, Theo immediately dragged Wanda down the hall by the sleeve of her red hoodie and into Wanda’s suite, since it was closer than Theo’s.

“What’s going on?” Wanda half-laughed as she closed the door and glanced, worriedly, at Theo, who had started to pace the room. “Are you okay?”

“I need your help with Secret Santa — What the hell do you get someone who could have anything they want for Christmas?” Theo flopped on Wanda’s bed with a dramatic sigh, her mind reeling with how to handle her predicament.

“That depends –” Wanda answered slowly, eyes narrowed as she approached Theo. “Why do you think they have everything?” 

“Because he’s a prince and a God who can conjure anything he damn well pleases with the snap of his fingers!” Theo tossed her arms up in the air, gesturing exasperatingly at nothing. 

Nothing - just like the ideas she had for Loki’s gifts. 

Nothing.

“So you have Loki for your Secret Santa?” Wanda sat down beside Theo, smirking at her.

“Yes!” Theo buried her face with her hands. “I had a hard enough time figuring out a birthday present, and I still haven’t figured out what to get him for a normal Christmas gift! But now I also have to give him a Secret Santa gift?!”

“Gifts, plural.” Wanda reminded her, smirk widening into a rather evil-looking grin. “Remember, it’s a week of lead-up to the final gift, because the goal is to try and have them guess who it is.”

“FUCK.” Theo let her arms drop to her sides. “This isn’t fair—“ she whined, earning a poorly stifled laugh from Wanda. 

“Oh come on, it’s not like he’s the only one who is hard to shop for,” Wanda attempted to sympathize, but the giggles that slipped out as she replied did little to help. “Can you imagine having to buy gifts for Tony?”

“Simple, get him booze.” Theo scoffed, propping herself up on her elbows. 

Wanda rolled her eyes and adjusted her ponytail, one auburn lock falling aside to frame her face.

“Look, half the fun is writing the little cards that go with each gift to give the person clues about who the gifts are from, and then trying to figure out the identity of your Secret Santa,” Wanda pointed out. “Besides, other than Thor, I’m willing to bet that no one knows Loki as well as you do!”

“That only makes it worse,” Theo complained and flopped back a second time, rolling over to bury her face in Wanda’s burgundy comforter. “Because I know he’s a picky bitch and nothing will be good enough for him.”

The snort that came out of Wanda did nothing to ease Theo’s concern, but it sounded ridiculous enough that even Theo laughed. 

“I think that he’d like any gift you give him, simply because it’s from you.” 

“That’s cliché as hell.” Theo pressed herself up enough to look over at Wanda, who, despite Theo’s whining and dramatics, still wore a small, knowing smile.

“And true.” Wanda shrugged. “You are, without a doubt, his favorite person on the team, and probably on this planet.”

“Yeah, for all the good that does me.” Theo grumbled to herself, but sat up all the way. “It’s not like I can tell him on day one that I’m his Secret Santa, so the gifts have to be good. No, they have to be perfect.”

“You’re overthinking this.” Wanda chuckled softly, then rose to her feet and held out a hand for Theo to grab onto. “How about we go shopping and see what is out there? Maybe you’ll get some inspiration that way.”

The petulant child within Theo wanted to complain for a bit longer about her predicament, but deep down, Wanda had a good point. If nothing else, it would give her a chance to get out and clear her head before the inevitable descent into holiday madness.

“Right. That’s probably a good idea.” Theo accepted Wanda’s hand and allowed her to pull Theo onto her feet. “I need to get gifts for my family anyways, so maybe i’ll knock it all out at once.” 

“Only if I can help you pick out gifts for Katie,” Wanda winked at Theo as she opened the door. 

“Deal.” Theo didn’t have to think twice before answering. “Do you have plans for this afternoon? I’m not working, so we could go today…”

Wanda held up her purse and grinned. “Let’s go!”

—

Shopping with Wanda, unsurprisingly, proved to be a fruitful venture. 

Sure, the pair went absolutely wild with gifts for Theo’s niece. Would Max kill Theo when he saw just how much stuff Theo got? Absolutely. Did she care? Not a bit; after all, she had to maintain her reputation as the coolest aunt.

More importantly, Theo managed to put together a list of ideas for gifts that referenced inside jokes from the time that Theo and Loki had known each other. Even better - the conversation between Theo and Wanda as they shopped, though wide-ranging and lively, gave Theo the inspiration for her final gift.

In the end, the gifts required some careful planning, calling in some favors, and a lot of sneaking to make it happen - not to mention a few sleepless nights as Theo put the finishing touches on certain details - but she managed to pull everything together, just in time for the first day of gift-giving.

Pepper had really outdone herself with the holiday decorations. On a normal day, the common areas within the tower could be described as minimalist: clean lines, lots of metal and glass, neutral tones everywhere, no knick knacks or soft touches to be found. Not even a throw pillow or blanket could be found in the common areas - whenever Theo wanted a pillow or a blanket, she had to bring it from her suite.

Yet, when everyone filtered into the living room after going out for dinner, they may as well have walked into a luxury ski chalet at Tahoe. In one corner sat a massive, lush evergreen tree trimmed with glistening tinsel, soft white lights, and a collection of beautifully coordinated ornaments in burgundy, cream, gold, navy, emerald, and eggplant. 

The fireplace had a beautiful garland of eucalyptus, cypress, and cedar draped across the mantle; tucked among the greenery sat pillar candles of varying heights in burgundy, navy, emerald, eggplant, and gold. Elegant, cream-colored stockings with each Avenger’s name embroidered at the top hung in front of the crackling fire (plus stockings for Pepper and Happy, since they were pretty much unofficial Avengers). 

Blankets and accent pillows, some in plaids that incorporated the colors of the ornaments and candles, others in solid colors, all made of luxuriously plush fabrics, found homes on the various seating throughout the living room. 

Even the coffee tables had coordinating centerpieces.

Theo quickly found her usual seat, but continued to gawk at the living room’s transformation. When the hell did Pepper (or, Theo supposed, whoever Pepper hired) have the time to decorate the living room? Just that morning, when Theo left for work, the living room had been its usual, minimalist styling. Maybe if she had stopped back in her suite before meeting the others at the restaurant she would have seen the living room decoration in progress.

Hardly a moment later, Loki sat down beside her. Dressed in a forest-green crewneck sweater that perfectly framed the planes of his chest and black dress pants that highlighted his long legs, Loki somehow managed to look holiday appropriate without even trying. His raven curls, just slightly disheveled from the wind and snow outside, framed his elegant features so perfectly; combined with the warm glow of the fire and the soft light of the christmas tree he appeared downright radiant, particularly as he grinned at something Thor said. 

“Quite magnificent, is it not?” Loki leaned over and nudged Theo with his elbow, interrupting her train of thought. Theo had to stop for a moment and consider whether he was referring to the himself, or the living room.

“Yeah,” Theo agreed, her cheeks growing hot as she realized Loki caught her staring. “Compared to when I left this morning, it is a night and day difference.“

“I suspect Miss Potts takes great pleasure in decorating for the winter holidays.” Loki offered Theo a soft smile. His soft eyes caught the flicker of the candles atop the coffee table as he studied Theo, and for the second time in less than a couple minutes, she found herself speechless.

Luckily, Dum-E saved the day when he dropped a present on Theo’s lap, and in doing so brought both sorcerers’ attention to the larger group. As it turned out, Dum-E distributed everyone’s gifts - all wrapped in the same paper, to make sure that the gift wrap didn’t give anything away - and as soon as he finished, it was time to open the first day’s gift.

They started with Bruce, then worked their way through a randomly generated list that Steve put together. The soft lights of the Christmas tree, glow of the fire crackling in the hearth, and joyous laughter as each person read their clue and opened their gifts filled the room with such warmth. It was the kind of holiday scene you’d see on a postcard, especially since snowflakes drifted past the tall windows and into the city below.

As they drew closer to Loki’s turn, Theo’s hands began to sweat. What if he didn’t like her gift? Sure, it was kind of corny, but it was a fun reference to how they spent much of their time. He didn’t seem overly thrilled by the idea of Secret Santa in the first place; what if her silly little gifts only made him hate the game?

Well, she didn’t have to wait any longer to find out, because it finally reached Loki’s turn.

Loki picked up the small box, turning it over and inspecting it. He tossed it into the air and caught it in one hand, lithe fingers curling perfectly around the container. 

“It is quite light, and rather small,” he observed. “Whatever is in this box does not jostle when moved, so it either fills the box or it is carefully packed in place. Let us see what is inside.”

Loki methodically removed the ribbons, then carefully tore away the gift wrap. He removed the lid in a graceful motion and set it aside, all the while peering into the box. He hummed.

Seeing the fabric folded and coiled inside, he reached in and tugged on the cloth, pulling it from the box. The fabric unfolded as he lifted the gift into the air, revealing the first gift: a pair of crew-length socks - black, with an emerald green heel and toe. On one side of each sock, placed so it would be visible while wearing shoes, was the design of an apple car driven by a worm, as well as text which read: “I’m on my way to the bookstore!”

“Aw, those are cute!” Wanda winked at Theo as she said the words, to which Theo casually agreed. 

Loki maintained a relatively neutral expression, though he let out a rather amused hum. He set the socks in his lap, then opened the card. As his eyes scanned over the text, one side of his lips curled up, then the other, until he wore a sheepish smile. He read aloud: 

“I know you love the bookstore,

We’ve been there a time or two,

But since I can’t buy the whole store,

I got you a pair of Crew… socks!

Sorry, I know you like poetry, but your Secret Santa isn’t a poet.” Loki chuckled, shaking his head, then continued: “These socks are from Out of Print, which has donated over 5 million books to communities in need and supports a variety of literacy initiatives.” 

He looked up from the card and glanced around at the group. “Well, thank you to my mysterious Secret Santa. I quite enjoy a whimsical piece of attire, and I am certain these will be put to good use.”

Next to Loki, Theo let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. 

First day was not a failure.

Only… four more to go.

—

The second day of gift-giving arrived, and with it came another day of second-guessing whether or not Loki would like his gift.  

This time, the idea came from a conversation early in their friendship. After falling asleep in Theo’s suite, Loki joined her for coffee on her balcony, at which point Theo explained a sudoku to Loki. At the time, he commented that there were “some puzzles he was still learning to solve.”

From that morning on, Theo couldn’t help but notice the way Loki approached briefings and missions as puzzles to solve. So when Theo found a pair of rather clever puzzle books (many of which provided a formidable challenge, even for her), she knew that it would be a perfect gift.

Yet, as the day crept on and the gift exchange grew near, Theo felt the seeds of doubt taking root once again. What if he thought the puzzles were stupid? He was a god, after all, and insanely intelligent. The puzzles might have been a challenge for Theo, but they were probably child’s play for Loki. 

Still, it was too late to turn back, so by the time Theo sat down with the others and the gifts were distributed, she simply hid her sweaty palms in her sweater sleeves and acted like it was any other night in the tower.

Loki, for what it was worth, seemed perfectly relaxed when he took his usual seat beside Theo; this time, he opted for a plain gray t-shirt and a black cardigan, paired with what were (secretly) Theo’s favorite pair of dark, slim-fit jeans. When Loki crossed one ankle over his knee, Theo noticed his emerald green and black socks and her heart skipped a beat - he wore the socks she gave him.

That was a good sign, right?

Once again, Dum-E distributed the gifts, then each person took their turn opening their gift and reading the card; this time they started with Yelena, but otherwise the order was the same. After what felt like ages, Steve finally gave Loki the go-ahead to open his gift.

Like the first day, Loki went through the same routine of examining the box, then peeled away the wrapping paper. 

For the sake of maintaining a bit of mystery (and making it slightly less obvious that the gift was a pair of books), Theo put the set into a clothing box and padded the sides. It wasn’t that sneaky, since the box was heavier than it would have been with apparel inside, but at least Loki wouldn’t know until he opened the box.

He opened the box and removed the first book. 

“The Master Theorem - Book of Puzzles, Intrigue, and Wit,” he read the title, then held it up for all to see, then held up the second book and read off the title. “The Master Theorem: Elite - Book of Puzzles, Intrigue, and Wit.”

He returned the books to his lap, pausing for a moment to flip through the pages and glance at the contents. 

“You gonna open the card?” Tony nodded towards the card that came with the box, which barely poked out from beneath the pair of books.

“Ah, yes, apologies.” Loki offered a half-smile, then retrieved the card and read aloud:

“While the identity of your Secret Santa is, well, a secret, it’s no secret that you, Loki, are pretty smart - like, ridiculously smart. And you’re a quick learner… Plus you’ve got a knack for problem solving. With that in mind, you seem to be a master when it comes to puzzles; even though you once told me there are still some puzzles you are learning to solve, the way you light up when you encounter a good logic puzzle or mystery makes me think there are few things you enjoy more than a good challenge.

“This series of puzzle books is notorious for its difficult logic puzzles - the New York Times called the first Master Theorem book “Mensa’s evil twin,” and the Elite edition is supposed to be exponentially harder. But with your sharp wit and attention to detail, I’m sure you’ll have it figured out in no time… And by the time you finish, maybe you’ll figure out the identity of your Secret Santa as well!”

Loki grinned as he folded the card and set it aside. “Thank you, my mysterious benefactor - I imagine I will be entertained for quite some time.”

For the rest of the evening, whenever Theo snuck a glance at Loki, she caught him flipping through his new books with a subtle smile and a twinkle in his eye, only half-paying attention to the others as they opened their gifts.

Day two: rousing success. Only three more days to go.

—

For the third day of gift-giving, Theo took a bigger risk.

At one point in Theo and Wanda’s shopping adventure, they stopped at a bakery to grab a snack and some coffee. While they waited for their drinks, they got on the topic of how, earlier that morning, Thor offered Loki a frosted pop-tart. In response, Loki nearly disintegrated the thing on sight, calling it an abomination to pastries everywhere.

And that was from Loki, the guy who was notorious for his sweet tooth. 

The conversation gave Theo an idea.

Ever since Loki roped Theo into his pranks, Theo had wanted to find a way to turn the tables and prank him. And what better way to prank him than to bait-and switch some sweet treats?

With a call to Theo’s favorite Bodega cashier, Carlos (who still hadn’t gotten up the courage to ask out that girl, but had at least he learned her name was Liza), Theo managed to get her hands on one of the big cardboard boxes that they shipped pop-tarts in. Importantly, it said pop-tarts all along the outside, so when Loki saw the box he would initially think it was a whole case of pop-tarts.

Instead of filling it with pop-tarts, Theo convinced Mémère to bake up all sorts of traditional Aneterran holiday treats to fill the box. Given Mémère already planned to make the treats, it was easy for the family matriarch to accommodate the request. However, when Theo explained her plan, a knowing, almost devilish grin spread across Mémère’s face; the next thing Theo knew, there were treats that Theo hadn’t seen since she was a child. 

Packing the treats into the box required quite a bit of attention to detail - it had to have the weight and heft of a case of pop-tarts, and it had to be packed tightly enough to not move around, but she also didn’t want to crush the treats. 

There may have been some enchantments involved to make it work, but hopefully Loki wouldn’t notice.  

Not wanting to make the prank too convincing, Theo made sure to leave clues that the box had been altered somehow; knowing Loki, realizing the box had been tampered with would make him curious enough to look inside.

When everyone gathered for the third night of gift-giving, the laughter and merriment from the first two nights returned almost immediately. But when it came to Loki’s turn to open his gift, Theo’s confidence from the day prior collided with her nerves, to the point that she clutched her mug of spiked hot chocolate so her hands wouldn’t shake. 

Just like the first two nights, Loki inspected the wrapped gift, lifting it up and giving it a gentle shake. “Much larger, and rather heavy,” he noted. “Yet, there’s a card that indicates I ought to open it before the gift. I suppose I ought to follow my Secret Santa’s request.”

He set the gift back in his lap, and quickly opened the card. 

“Heard you have a sweet tooth…” Loki read aloud, then glanced down at the gift and hummed. “Well, let us see what is inside.”

Loki started to tear away the wrapping paper, but paused part-way through; his face twisted into something unreadable when he saw the writing on the box. 

Theo bit her lip to not give herself away.

“Pop-tarts?” Thor exclaimed, cocking his head to the side with curiosity. “Brother, I did not think you to be a fan of the Midgardian pastry.”

“I…” Loki trailed off, face falling as he unwrapped the rest of the box. “Interesting.”

Theo’s heart stuttered in her chest - what if he didn’t think to open the box? Would she give herself away if she said something? Oh god, he looked like a kicked puppy — she should have realized that he might take it wrong because Thor likes pop-tarts and he’s the popular brother, shitshitshit—

“Loki, maybe you should open the box,” Bruce suggested, “There’s a weird wrinkle by the cardboard seam that makes me think it was opened, then closed again.”

If it wouldn’t have given her away, Theo would have leapt to her feet and hugged the man for his suggestion.

“Yeah, that box looks like it has been messed with,” Sam agreed, “and I think everyone knows you hate pop-tarts.”

The kicked-puppy expression softened as Loki took a second look at the box and noticed the obvious tampering that Bruce and Sam pointed out. A hint of pink rose on Loki’s cheeks - if Theo didn’t know better, Loki looked almost embarrassed at the realization - but he went ahead and opened the box. 

Theo held her breath, all of her attention trained on Loki as she waited for his reaction. 

Peering into the box, Loki’s shoulders suddenly dropped and relief flooded his features; he reached in and retrieved a treat similar to a chocolate scone, as well as a second card.

“Pleased to report that I was mistaken; it appears the box is filled with a variety of homemade treats, as well as a second card.” He let out a soft, almost hesitant chuckle as he opened the note and read aloud: 

“HA! Nearly got you, didn’t I?!” Loki laughed a second time, this time a little louder, and nodded his head. “You’ve pulled off some of the best pranks, but your Secret Santa is known for a good prank or two. 

“Jokes aside, did you really think your Secret Santa would do that to you? Of course not - I know you have a discerning taste when it comes to sweet treats (far more discerning than your brother, of course)! These are some of my favorite holiday snacks from growing up; I think you’d like them too. If nothing else, I promise they taste better than pop-tarts.”  

Loki returned the note to the box, then unwrapped the treat in his other hand. He took a bite, and his face almost immediately lit up. He chewed for a moment, then swallowed, and cleared his throat to speak. 

“Well, mysterious Secret Santa,” he said, “I will confirm that this treat is quite divine. However, you best watch yourself– “ Looking around at their teammates, a dark, sinister grin curled over Loki’s face. “– I am known as the Trickster god for a reason, and you may very well have started a war.”

When Loki briefly locked eyes with Theo, her heart skipped a few beats; in just a few moments he went from beautiful to downright devilishly handsome, and his threat should not have been nearly as hot as it was. 

Sweet baby Jesus, she needed to get her shit together. 

“Any guesses on who it is?” Bucky asked, tapping his vibranium fingers along the side of his still-wrapped present. 

“I’ve a few contenders,” Loki smoothly answered, the earlier signs of discomfort completely gone, “but I will wait to put forth any claims.”

“Who cares! The real question is are you gonna share!?” Shuri pointed at the pastry in Loki’s hand, then held out her own hand. “That looks amazing!”

“Maybe once the Secret Santa is revealed, they can bring us all some treats.” Wanda replied, though she gave Theo a pointed glance, to which Theo glared back - after all, she didn’t want Wanda to give her away. “But for now, I think Loki should get to enjoy all of his gifts.”

Loki, who was busy searching through the rest of the box, didn’t seem to notice Wanda staring at Theo. 

Shuri glanced at Wanda, then at Theo, then grinned as she made the connection. 

“Fine, but they better bring me some extras,” Shuri relented. “That thing looks amazing.” 

Theo smiled and rolled her eyes, just in time for Steve to inform Wanda that it was her turn to open her gift.

Day three, though nearly a bust, worked out. 

Only two more to go. 

—

After the scare of the third day, Theo went into the fourth day feeling more comfortable about her gift. Sure, Loki may shrug at it, and there was a chance he wouldn’t use it. But at least she wouldn’t run the risk of upsetting him by making him believe his preferences were the same as his brother’s.

In some ways, the gift seemed particularly timely: a winter storm raged outside the tower, with howling winter winds and heavy snow that made sitting in the living room feel like they were inside a snowglobe. Even with the heat on and the fire roaring in the hearth, everyone bundled up in sweaters and plush blankets, sipping on mugs of cocoa and tea in between opening gifts. 

On the fourth night, Loki’s turn to open his gift came even earlier. Similar to the first three nights, he inspected the box - small, slender, almost like a fancy box for a fountain pen. 

After making quick work of the wrapping paper, he glanced at the lid of the box:

“Museum of Modern Art Design Store,” he read, then shrugged and removed the lid of the box.

Nestled among chic black packing material sat a stainless steel tea infuser. Its design was what drew Theo to the gift - long, slender, with a hook on the top for easy removal, it looked downright elegant. And with the amount of tea Loki drank, an upgrade to his usual steeping methods seemed like the perfect sort of gift - thoughtful and useful.

Loki hummed, carefully slipping the tea infuser out of its packaging and inspecting it. The stainless steel glowed beneath the Christmas lights and reflected the smile curling over Loki’s face. He twisted the cap off, then closed it again, nodding to himself as he set it aside and opened the card. Like the first three days, he read the message to the group:

“A tea infuser that combines form and function?! It’s almost as stylish as you are (almost)! As the resident tea expert on the team, it seemed only appropriate to give you something for making your favorite (non-alcoholic) drink - after all, you’ve brought me, your Secret Santa, more than a few drinks over the course of knowing each other!”

The hint, in Theo’s opinion, was almost painfully obvious; Loki brought Theo drinks all the time. Coffee at the hospital when he knew she had a long day. Whiskey or wine when she needed to unwind. Tea when it was late and neither of them could fall asleep. Water when Theo just used her inhaler and needed to rinse out her mouth. Throughout the entire time she had been an Avenger, Theo never saw Loki bring anyone else drinks quite so often - not Thor, not Wanda, not anyone. However, the clue made so much sense, and there was only one more day, so it wasn’t like she had to keep the secret for much longer. 

What Theo didn’t account for, however, was almost every other person in the room making the connection between the clue and the identity of Loki’s Secret Santa. Over a dozen pairs of eyes all trained in on Theo as Loki glanced down to set the card and gift aside; the heat of their stares nearly made Theo lose her composure.

When Steve asked if Loki knew who his Secret Santa was, he simply smirked and replied “I’ve my suspicions, but I find I rather enjoy the suspense and anticipation of the grand reveal.”

Somehow, she held it together, but just barely. Sure, Theo was grateful that Loki seemed to enjoy the gifts up to that point, but “suspense and anticipation of the grand reveal?” If Theo was under pressure before, now she was on the verge of being crushed under the weight of expectation, and the whole damn team knew it.

Theo shot a terrified look at Wanda, who only sent back an impish grin.

Shit.

One more day to go.

—

The final day of Secret Santa arrived, and with it, the grand reveal. Apprehension loomed over Theo’s head like a storm-cloud; after all, the pressure was on - not only to give the perfect gifts, but to set up the perfect reveal as Loki’s secret Santa.

Despite the overall success of the first four days, by the time the last exchange began, Theo was too nervous to sit down. Instead, she leaned against the kitchen island with her mug of hot chocolate and whiskey clutched in both hands, offering little more than one-word answers whenever someone tried to ask her something. The only time she even considered sitting down was when Loki asked if she would join him on the couch, but then all the potential ways she might make a fool of herself flooded her thoughts and she politely declined, claiming that she needed to stretch her legs a bit.

If Theo didn’t know better, Loki seemed disappointed that she didn’t want to sit by him, but it was probably her mind playing tricks on her; after all, Theo was the one with the crush, not Loki.

At least from across the room, Theo could easily admire Loki in his thick, fair isle sweater - seasonally appropriate, of course, but like all of his attire, it fit him perfectly and highlighted his long, lithe form in all the right ways. Between her nerves about the gift and how distractingly handsome Loki was, she barely noticed when the first two Avengers opened their gifts and found out who was assigned as their Secret Santa.

For the final night of the exchange, Loki was the third person to open his gifts.

While Loki focused on the large box in front of him, everyone else stared at Theo. If she could have, she would have melted into the floor; instead, she stood by the kitchen island with her mug of hot chocolate and whiskey in both hands, shooting dirty looks at the rest of the group so they wouldn’t give her away.

… Not like Loki hadn’t already figured out that Theo was his Secret Santa, because he likely knew. If he didn’t know, he was about to figure it out, but that was beside the point. 

Of all the gifts Theo chose, today’s were the most nerve-wracking because they were the most personal: the pre-reveal gift referenced something Loki gave her when she ended up in the hospital with an asthma exacerbation and pneumonia a few months prior. The post-reveal gift referenced the time all the Avengers visited New Asgard, and Loki took her on a late-night walking tour of the community.  

The note on the card was, well, maybe a bit too sentimental - in hindsight, maybe she should have saved the message for a later card that she could have given him in private. But by that point the card was taped to the box in Loki’s lap, and Theo couldn’t do a damn thing about it, other than brace herself for the inevitable fallout. 

At least she had the sense to write a disclaimer at the top of the note: “You might want to read this to yourself first, then decide if you want to read it out loud.”

After four days, Loki’s examination of the gift box had become a routine: turn it all around, lift it up in the air, give it a shake - and once he seemed satisfied, he peeled away the wrapping paper. 

“Well, I do not have any guesses as to what is inside this box, so I suppose I ought to open it.” Loki remarked, tugging away the last bit of wrapping paper. He conjured a dagger to cut the tape sealing the flaps at the top of the box, though he was careful not to cut deeply and risk damaging the contents inside (which was good, because that dagger would have sliced through the gift like hot butter). 

Unlike the previous days, where he immediately looked inside the container, this time he made a show of looking at the others as he reached inside. Theo watched Loki’s arm muscles tense through the wool of his sweater as he grabbed the gift, while his brows furrowed with confusion.

As he turned back toward the box, he slowly pulled out the present: a snake squishmallow, in green, of course - after all, green was his color.

“That’s cute!” Natasha commented, though Loki didn’t seem to notice. He held the plush toy in both hands, turning it side to side as he gave it a once-over. Theo swore she could spot the gears turning in Loki’s head as he tried to make the connection between the toy and his Secret Santa. 

“Yeah, but why? I don’t see the connection.” Yelena added, pointing at the card. “Open the card. I want to know what it says.”

Loki slowly set aside the snake, as if still thinking about the gift, and pulled out the note. 

Theo watched as Loki methodically scanned the note. At first, he read with heavy brows drawn tightly together; after a few moments, the light from the christmas tree reflected off his sea glass eyes, glittery and shining amidst the soft glow. A shaky, small smile grew as he made his way through the message until it practically took over his face.

“Well, what does it say?” Natasha asked, craning her neck to try and read what was written on the card.

Loki, however, ignored her. Without warning, he closed the card and rose to his feet. In a couple of long strides, he stood before Theo, who could no longer bite back her nervous smile as he drew near. 

Theo barely had a chance to set down her mug before Loki scooped her into his arms and crushed her in an embrace, the strength of which forced a small “oof!” out of Theo from the impact. She didn’t waste a moment before returning the embrace, selfishly nuzzling into his chest and drinking in the scent of cologne on his sweater - cedar, bergamot, and smoke - as they stood, arms wrapped around each other and swaying gently from side to side. 

Loki leaned down, his nose brushing gently along Theo’s hair, then drew a deep breath.

“Thank you,” he whispered in her ear. “Truly. Thank you.”

Theo’s heart damn near exploded. 

“Elsa, I really hope that Rapunzel’s your Secret Santa,” Tony, ever the troll, interrupted, “or this is going to get awkward.”

“Yeah, Tony, it’s me.” Theo laughed, her mind reeling as Loki shifted -  if Theo’s mind didn’t deceive her, his lips brushed against the crown of her hair. Still, he hadn’t let go, and as long as Loki held on, Theo had no plans of going anywhere.

“Now I wanna know what she wrote on that damn note,” Sam complained between shoving handfuls of caramel corn in his mouth. “Because damn, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Loki react like that.”

“Can we let him open the other gift first?” Theo asked, still hugging Loki as she looked over at Sam. “After all, there is a part of the message that won’t make sense without seeing the final gift.

“Fine, but afterwards I wanna read the damn note.” Sam grumbled and leaned back in his seat while Bucky leaned over and snatched some caramel corn from him. 

Theo begrudgingly pulled away from Loki, silently lamenting the lack of warmth that came with his touch. She rounded the Christmas tree and crouched down to where she hid the final box - a thin, rectangular box that was a bit larger than a poster - and brought it over to Loki, who had returned to his original seat. Theo sat down beside him, nervous but excited to see how he reacted to the last gift.

This time, Loki didn’t spend a moment examining the package - he went straight to tearing off the wrapping paper. With paper crumpled up and tossed aside, he carefully slid the lid off the box.

Centered on a bed of white tissue paper, was a painting - a canvas covered in thousands of small dashes of paint, the result of more than a few sleepless nights as Theo raced to finish the painting on a tight deadline. During the day, Theo hid it beneath a stack of other canvases so if Loki stopped by her suite, he wouldn’t notice; the moment night fell, Theo was elbows deep in oil paint as she added layer after layer of color.

“It’s New Asgard!” Thor exclaimed as he peered over Loki’s shoulder.

“Those are the gardens…” Loki breathed, one hand hovering over the canvas as if he wanted to touch it and prove to himself that it was real. 

“The gardens that you created, and that your people and countless tourists adore.” Theo added, her cheeks slightly pink. 

Loki’s focus went to the bottom corner, where Theo scrawled her name. It was tiny and borderline illegible because of the paint, but if someone had ever seen her handwriting, they would know instantly who it was. Loki traced his fingers over the letters almost meditatively.

“You made this?” When Loki looked up at Theo, she caught the slightest shine in the corners of his eyes, though his expression was nothing but pure awe. “Was this from memory?”

“God, my memory isn’t that good - I mean, yeah I painted it, but it wasn’t from memory,” Theo rubbed the back of her next, heat rising on her cheeks as Loki continued to gape at her. “I got Val to send me some pictures for reference, and then I worked on it every night after everyone was asleep. I wasn’t sure it would be done in time, if I’m honest, because oil paint takes forever to dry, but it dried just in time. The paint is still going to need some time to fully cure, so I’d be gentle with it.”

For the second time in minutes, Loki pulled Theo into another heartfelt embrace. 

“I am… I am speechless. I’ve no words, truly.” He laughed, a rumbling sound that Theo felt as much as she heard it. “Thank you.”

“Okay now we need to know what the hell was on that card.” This time it was Shuri, who looked like she was one step away from snatching the card and reading it out loud herself.

Loki unfurled his arms from around Theo so he could set the painting on the table in front of them, then retrieved the card.

“I think you ought to read it,” Loki held the card out to Theo, his cheeks now flushed with crimson. “I imagine it will sound better in your voice, since you wrote the message.”

Theo rolled her eyes, but accepted the card. She got the sense that Loki felt a bit sentimental himself, and was probably a bit out of his comfort zone; re-reading the message aloud might be more than he thought he could handle. So, despite her heart still fluttering like a goddamn school girl, Theo tried her best to steady her breathing, then cleared her throat and began:

One of Thor’s favorite stories to tell is when you were children and turned into a snake to trick him. One of my favorite things is watching the little smile you get every time he tells the story, like you know you shouldn’t think it’s funny and it makes the story even funnier. I bet you’re making that same smile right now as you think about the story!

This clue will probably give me away, but you once gave me a gift much like this - a plush toy of an unexpected creature, because you realized that the creature shared a connection to my sister. You didn’t make a big deal out of it - telling me you “happened to pass by a shop window and it just seemed like something I would like,” but it meant the world to me; to this day, it is easily the best gift I’ve ever received. 

In many ways, that gift is such a great example of why I am so lucky to have you as a friend - you are so incredibly thoughtful and kind, and when you sense that someone is having a tough time you go above and beyond to help, all without making a big deal about it… God knows you did that for me constantly when I first got here! There are, obviously, other reasons that you’re an amazing friend (your sense of humor, intelligence, and patience in putting up with me are also high on the list). 

I know none of my Secret Santa gifts have been big or flashy so far, and your final gift isn’t exactly big or flashy either. If I’m honest, I panicked when I drew your name because, well, what do you get someone who could have any gift they wanted? But the more I thought about it, the more I came back to just how lucky I was to have the gift of your friendship (yeah, corny as fuck, sorry - you’re the silvertongue, not me!). I can’t ever give you a gift that would compare, but I can at least make sure you know just how grateful I am for you and how much of a difference you make. Without a doubt, my life is better because you’re in it, as are the lives of many others. 

So, for your final gift, I made you something that I hope will remind you of not just the impact you’ve made on me, but the impact you’ve made on countless others, every time you see it. 

Merry Christmas Loki. 

Yours,

Secret Santa. 

P.S. I hope you can forgive my sentiment. Not all of us can be as cool as you.”

By the time Theo finished reading the message aloud, her entire body felt like it was on fire from the combination of her nerves and the others’ burning stares. With trembling hands, Theo slowly closed the card and set it on her lap, eyes focused downward the entire time.

“I didn’t realize it was possible to win at Secret Santa… ” Peter finally broke the silence, beaming as he looked at the pair. “... But I think Theo just won Secret Santa.”  

“I think everyone’s going to want you as their Secret Santa next year,” Steve chuckled, nodding along. “Still, we aren’t done with this year’s Secret Santa - I believe Wanda, you’re up next?”

With that, the attention shifted away from the two sorcerers sitting side-by-side on the couch, and onto the rest of the festivities. While Wanda made a scene trying to deduce clues about her gift, Loki casually slipped his hand over to Theo, interlacing his fingers with hers. In turn, Theo leaned her head on Loki’s shoulder and settled into his side.

By that point, she was only-half watching as Wanda opened one last gift. Frankly, Theo hadn’t heard who Wanda’s Secret Santa was, but she wasn’t that interested. 

“Merry Christmas, Loki,” Theo whispered, giving Loki’s hand a squeeze.

“Merry Christmas, Theo,” he murmured, turning so his lips brushed Theo’s temple. “I think this might be the first year that I’ve understood why one might enjoy Midgardians’ holiday festivities.”

Cozily tucked into Loki’s side, amidst the golden glow of the holiday lights and the spirited laughter of friends, Theo had to agree: maybe the holidays weren’t so bad after all.

#Loki #loki fanfiction #loki fluff #tooth-rotting fluff #tooth rotting fluff #holiday fic #christmas fic #christmas fluff #loki x ofc #mutually pining idiots

[candescentdibromoindigodreams]

Just a couple of reasons why Izzy is NOT

RICKY doing that?? Pshaw, they didn't even meet until this episode! From the narrative POV, this doesn't make any sense. Izzy supposedly taking his own life off-screen was more likely.

not enough stakes. That WE'RE GOING IN, BOIS scene almost didn't have any at all, not even to the level "someone gets hurt", definitely not to the level of "someone gets killed off". That scene was "Successful heist" vibe, not a "We're gonna look Death in the face" vibe. Izzy getting shot was like a random thing - which COULD have been poignant in a different show (about how life is tragic and unpredictable, yadda yadda), but it's really out of place here.

Izzy touched Stede's leg in the bar. This wouldn't have happened if the continuation of their relationship was not planned (and I mean plot threads getting forgotten about is a thing, but it doesnt seem to be a thing in this particular show). Teaching Stede is one thing, that can be interpreted as part of the "Izzy accepts the crew as a family" narrative, but keeping your hand on someone's knee? Not really familial and also would have been random if that was the intention.

We were shown this very same type of wound basically being easily survived by both Stede and Ed. Stede also moved a lot after getting stabbed (more blood loss, same as Izzy). Still both survived. Ed treated getting skewerd like a scratch and was not shown to be even slightly affected by it. If now this wound would suddenly be fatal that would be illogical in the context of the show.

Izzy didn't die from rotting leg infection, didn't die from the blood loss when getting a leg amputated (major surgery done by complete noobs), didn't die from pain shock, didn't die from a bullet to the head (thanks to luck but still), didn't die from a severe head trauma (I assume a bullet ricocheting off of your nogging hard enough to leave a scar would give you one. Ed definitely agrees), didn't die from subsequent alcohol poisoning while his health was very much impaired. "Indestructible little fucker" indeed, so why would he die here.

on the topic of "indestructible little fucker". The show spells out a lot of things to us with words. Sometimes also repeating them kinda incessantly (count how many times a variation on the "turn toxicity into positivity" was mentioned). So pronouncing Izzy as such is basically a spell (during a storm and lightning to boot! STYLE), it's the point of him now.

Ed and Stede getting this type of wound has made it symbolic. It would be a different wound if the creators just needed to kill Izzy off. Giving him this exact one does not give the situation a "time to go, bud" meaning, instead it connects Izzy more to the guys - and again, not in a familial sense but specifically a romantic one.

the show didn't spend nearly enough time on grieving given what Izzy is to the story. Instead, that was the only time of broken pacing and vibe tbh, it was a bit jarring (he dead. okay, now wedding). I mean, Im not expecting the SPN-final-death levels of time spent, but still.

There was no narrative sense for Izzy to die after the journey he had in S2. That was a character on the mend, having ALREADY paid off all their sins. A second punishment like that (and by cinema rules death is always either a tragedy (not that type of show here), a joke (not that type of show or situation) or a punishment) is undeserved and illogical.

By the end of S2 Stede was not being his best, but rather kind of an asshole. This character clearly has not finished his journey yet to settle in an "inn" or whatever. Which means that the guys are there only for the purpose of being close to the grave for when Izzy gets back.

If we assume that removing Izzy was important for BlackBonnet - why? To make them closer? What is he, their child or parent (not even really a friend), why would his death make them closer? Plus, they already got to that point without his help. It would make a bit of sense if he was Ed's pronounced romantic ex who was still a threat that needed to go but that's not the case. It would make a bit of sense if he was Ed's pronounced past / the Blackbeard that needed to die - and to be clear, he was (WAS) that to a certain degree in S1 and the creators tried to use that point - BUT Ed ALREADY both rejected his past/BB persona (via Jack for instance) AND also accepted and embraced that part of himself. The narrative tells us that Ed learned to use his "darkness" for relative good, to protect those around him or as means to achieve something good. Izzy did not need to be cut off for this plotpoint.

It would make sense to write the character out if the actor needed it. But we know for a fact that Con loves playing Izzy. So not the case either.

S2 specifically established with Ed's "gravy basket" situation that none of those idiots know how to certify someone's death.

Izzy somehow being back after this gives (more) purpose to the whole Buttons Burb situation. Introing what, real magic (??) into the show was a weird point in itself (and it was not refuted in the show as, say, Ed's confusion) but also a point that went kinda nowhere. But it's not "nowhere" if it was needed for S3 Izzy return!

The only kinda one real point towards Izzy really being gone is

cinema rule number whatever: they show the character's dead face with open eyes. And the show did do that… But again, freakin Bird Buttons flew on his grave. So Izzy definitely comes out of it.

But thank you for giving us a chance to enjoy Con's impeccable dying acting!

#ofmd #our flag means death #izzy hands #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd meta #does this count as meta? what is meta

[cuppajj]

The SG/DJD from your sentient sg/ll universe did what?👀

OK SO

My interpretation of the Shattered Glass DJD is that they’re a humanitarian group who search for missing or captured Decepticons to rescue. They would’ve started out as a team who brought defectors and Autobots to justice (morally), hence their name, but they eventually expanded their operation into becoming a rescue squad. I also like to think they do Girl Scout things like hand out cookies but that’s besides the point 😆

Personalitywise I imagine Tarn is a bold, noble, sometimes excitable leader not unlike Thunderclash, Kaon is sweet but incredibly shy, Vos is a little clumsy but means well, Helex is a skittish gentle giant, and Tesarus is the joke cracker. The Pet exists too, but they call him Dominus; he had originally been an Autobot sleeper agent before attempting to defect to the Decepticons, getting caught, and being domesticated as punishment. The DJD would take him in and begin finding a way to fix him. The DJD are less business associates and more of a found family. (Also their alt modes aren't torture devices anymore: Helex is a heavy vehicle, Tesarus is a cannon, and Kaon is an electrical generator.)

Like in the normal comic, the business they have with the LL isn’t with the one that we follow, but its quantum duplicate caused by the initial engine explosion. Overlord (peachlord but he wouldn’t have been peach yet), who had gone missing since the Elba incursion, would be their highest priority for search and rescue, being the most powerful Decepticon warrior and a close friend of Tarn’s. After their business on Clemency, Kaon would have picked up a distress signal coming from somewhere in deep space. As they approach that sector, they also pick up on Overlord’s life signal in the same region the first one came from.

Long story short, tracking the two signals leads them to the duplicate Lost Light. The distress signal and Overlord’s signal both originated here, which worries them; but nevertheless they enter the ship, and are greeted with a horrifying sight. Dead bodies are strewn about, some tangled up in cords while others have torn limbs. The vast majority, however, look as if they simply dropped dead, with no visible wounds on them. Vos would run an analysis on the bodies and deduce that they had ingested some kind of lethal substance—gas, most likely—that forced their systems into a permanent shutdown. From what he can tell, these bodies are recently deceased; shortly before, during, or after the time period in which the distress signal was received.

Little do they know that they’re already being watched. The Lost Light is well aware of who they are, and they are also aware of why they’re here. They don’t take kindly to intruders disturbing the peace of their crew, so they intend to trap the DJD in the same place Overlord is in: the slow cell, which they find after what seems like ages of searching and carefully stepping past the unsettlingly peaceful-looking bodies.

When they free Overlord from the cell, they find that the teal Decepticon has been heavily sedated and can barely walk. Helex and Tesarus hoist their arms around him to carry him out with the others, but before they can do that, the slow cell door shuts and the Lost Light finally reveals themself.

“I am not fond of trespassers,” they boom with barely hidden ire. “If wish to defile this place to retrieve your charge, then you will stay with him until you rot.”

The DJD are taken aback by the omnipresent voice, and while some (Helex) begin to panic that they don’t have any way out, Tarn takes the lead and blasts a hole through the door with his fusion cannon. The group with Overlord pile out and begin to make their break for the ship (not called the peaceful tyranny here… Peaceful Truth? Prosperous Truth?). The LL attempts to trap them and grab them with their intricate systems but they’re able to blast through everything and fight everything back, and they eventually reach their ship and they pull away from the LL. They believe they’re safe as they steer the PT away, but then they transform, revealing that they’re a massive Cybertronian who now dwarfs them. A battle ensues, the PT shooting at the duplicate LL as they attempt to swat/crush it. The PT lands a perfect shot into LL’s optics, rendering them blind as they scream, and one final barrage through their chassis deals the killing blow. The DJD, shaken by the close call, watch as the duplicate LL keels over and falls silent. Soon after the PT flies away, the titan succumbs to rigormorphis and transforms back into their alternate mode, cold and dead just like the hundreds of bodies inside them.

Some of the DJD, particularly Helex, are slightly traumatized by the ordeal. They'd been surrounded by corpses before, but not in a way like this. And to realize that the walls around them could see them and speak to them, and urge to kill them... well, if a seemingly lifeless ship could be alive, then what else is there? Who else is there?

#sentient lost light au #shattered glass #djd #tarn #helex #tesarus #kaon #vos #cjj arts #lost light #maccadam #transformers #mtmte #overlord #cjj askbox #soundcrusher

[the-ghost-bracket]

Noah Czerny propaganda:

"Noah has been dead for 7 years by the time the story starts, and no one knows it. Not even the two friends he literally lives with. They just assume he doesn't eat in front of people and doesn't share classes with them. He was a failed sacrifice to a magic forest and the forest keeps him alive cause his body was left to rot in the forest, and since the forest experiences time differently so does he. He knows a whole bunch of stuff like secrets that haven't been shared and events that haven't happened yet because for him everything happens at once/in a circle. He died as a teenager, so he's kinda stuck in the teenager phase, and he still does dumb stuff like building ramps to drive cars off of. He's described as "less" now that he's dead. It's talked about by people who knew him when he was alive that Noah was cheerful and full of life and joyful and a jokester, but Noah as a ghost is quiet and shy and almost a completely different person because he lost so much of himself when he died.

This next part is confusing, but I'm going to try and explain it as best as possible.

ALSO - MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE BOOKS BELOW - I'M SERIOUS

Basically, 7 years ago, when Noah died, this other guy Gansey, who is one of the main characters also died. Gansey however, was brought back to life by what he thought was a magic king who was buried underground. Gansey spent the next 7 years searching for this king. He was obsessed and he thought it was his duty and his destiny to find the king. Long story short, it turns out the king was actually dead underground and had been dead for a while.

It wasn't the king who brought Gansey back to life - it was noah.

Noah as a ghost went back in time to the moment he died - aka the moment Gansey died - and sacrificed his spirit so that Gansey could live, whispering to Gansey that he was the dead king and therefore setting Gansey on his path to find the king. Because of this, Noah's ghost technically never existed, and Gansey and the others technically never met him, meaning they don't remember him. NOAH GAVE HIS LIFE SO GANSEY COULD LIVE AND I'M NEVER GONNA BE OVER THAT."

"- Noah isn't revealed as a ghost until the end of the book/series

- Most characters are unaware that Noah is a ghost, and when he disappears, they assume that's just a Noah thing

- Noah uses this to his advantage and just fucks off whenever it's uncomfortable or people need him, though sometimes he can't control this

- Noah stays true to Ghosting and permanently disappears at the end of the series

- Got bludgeoned to death with his skateboard I think? might've made that up but i think it adds points for Tony Hawkness

- His death is linked with another character: that character SHOULD have died, but because Noah was murdered at the same time on a ley line, their fates swapped (life/death)

- Had to die in his school uniform :(

- The cast also don't notice he died in his school uniform and assumed he just wore it all the time for some reason

- When connecting with one of the characters through their energy, Noah is clearly more energised, meaning his Ghostness really kills his personality too

- Canonically a Sk8r boy"

"sometimes he relives his death and isn't really aware of that fact. he is very sweet and keeps secrets and is still a third dimensional character even if he can't really interact with many people/things"

"“Oh! Your hand is cold."" Ashley cupped her fingers against her shirt to warm them.

""I've been dead for seven years,"" Noah said. ""That's as warm as they get.” "

"he's dead The Whole Time but his friends love him so much!!! he might be a bit smudgy and confused but he's still just a sweet boy!"

"This boy!!! He is a ghost that just kinda pops up sometimes and his friends are just kinda like “oh hey Noah.” He is so lovely and also his life is tied to a sentient forest that his best friend sacrificed him to. He is always kind to his friends and is a little jokester and is basically the best I love him :)))"

"Please I named myself after him"

"The sweetest boy who was murdered by his friend in an attempted human sacrifice. Lowkey the funnies character in the series if you appreciate dark humor. Sacrifices himself in order to save his friend. All around the best boy."

"He’s been dead for 7 years but when he tells his friends that they just think he’s being #relatable (until they find his skeleton). He was murdered by his high school best friend as part of a failed sacrifice to awaken a ley line and the ley line was basically like damn what a shitty deal here why don’t you be friends with the guys who are gonna wake me up properly. At one point his spirit starts to degrade and it’s all very sad and I’m pretending it didn’t happen."

"He's just my boy. He's sometimes in a trance replaying his own death. He has a stain on his cheek where his head was bashed in. He's sometimes corporeal and sometimes not, sometimes he just communicates through vibes alone or flickerin lights (peak ghost shit). His first line in the series is how he died, but everybody thinks it's a joke. The MC sometimes acts as a living battery for him and he's her first kiss (she was prophecised that her first love will die if she kisses him, so why not kiss a dead guy?)

He kinda gets excluded a bit from the main squad because he's nonexistant from time to time, which is bullshit. Justice for Noah!!!"

"Noah’s literal first line of dialogue is “I’ve been dead for seven years”. Despite this and many other comments about being dead, his friends (two of whom he lives with) believe him to be their normal alive schoolmate right up until Gansey finds his corpse in the woods.

Anyway on a more serious note Noah’s role in the narrative is so cool. At the start he’s very bright and present but as the series continues and he fades from the living world he fades from the narrative too. Depending on where you began the story (quote that’s repeated a lot in the series), it starts with Noah Czerny. Dying on the ley line when he should not, so Gansey lives when he should not. Literally in the end he gets goes back to kickstart the whole story by setting Gansey on the path to Henrietta I love him."

#ghost poll #ghost bracket #propaganda #noah czerny #the raven cycle #the raven cycle noah #trc noah #trc

[culttonotfollow]

Why I love “Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice” so much

So as I stated, I'm writing a post about my experience with this game and why I think it's as good as it is, including my favourite aspects of it. To this day it's my favourite game and one of the few I've managed to 100% complete.

This post is going to include spoilers. Do not read if you do not want spoilers.

Disclaimer out of the way, I actually want to start by saying that before this game was recommended to me by a friend (thank you, Markus- shout out to you), I had no idea what it was about other than the fact that it dealt in some way with mental health. I mostly forgot about it until I saw it on sale sometime in October (it might have been the Halloween sale), at which point I made the decision to purchase it.

To begin with, the visuals are stunning—beautiful and terrifying at the same time. And just to get mechanics out of the way so I can ramble about the story and the way it made me feel—some of the puzzles are challenging at first, but they are so rewarding after you figure them out that I almost didn't mind the difficulty. The fighting feels almost perfect, particularly with the autobalancing option.

The premise of the game is that Senua, a Celtic warrior with severe mental illness, sets out on a journey to the homeland of the Northmen after discovering what had happened to her lover, planning to enter Helheilm, the mythological land of the dead, or what would be considered hell, and retrieving his soul through bargaining with Hela (or Hel, as she's more commonly known). Throughout the entire game- with the exception of a segment in the story- she wears his skull on her belt, wrapped in a cloth.

The Game uses sound to mess with you??

The game throws you right in with whispers bouncing all around your head (even during the menu when you first open the game)- I will never not applaud Ninja Theory for their choice of using binaural sound (here is an article by Splice on what it is), otherwise it wouldn't be what it is. This is one of the few experiences where the classic "Best experienced with headphones" recommendation should be taken seriously.

As you paddle past, well, burnt, staked and hung corpses that don't make it less tense either, the voices get progressively louder and more erratic until you don't know how many there are anymore or where they're coming from, urging Senua to turn back or calling her a coward in many different ways- with the exception of a few, who actually argue with the others and encourage Senua to push on.

There have been moments when the voices stopped for a little while, but by the time I realized there was nothing in the background anymore except for my own racing thoughts, I was already somewhat uneasy.

To add on to that, one of the trials Senua goes through relies solely on intuition an hearing to get throught the darkness safely, with an extremely limited field of view. I can safely say that was when I was most terrified and hyperfocused in my 12 hours of gameplay. I have to admit after my first run I went to bed and the whispers were still there because of how much I was hearing them the past several hours.

Mindfuckery taken to the next level

I spent the majority of the game in awe, watching the story unfold in front of my eyes. A lot of games or franchises, in my opinion, struggle to make their characters feel human, but Hellblade managed to do it. Even equipped with a sword, I felt vurnelable at all times, the game does a great job at causing anxiety even during the most mundane moments.

There isn't a combat tutorial of any kind; you have to either figure out the "guide" is in the menu, or keep failing the first battle until you figure it out. The game actually only gives you a single prompt in regards to combat: Each time you fail (die), the rot on Senua's arm spreads, and when it reaches her head all progress is lost. This alone made me so much more conscious of every move I was making for over half the game, until I learned the truth.

It's not an actual mechanic, it's only put in place as a warning to add another thick layer of tension to every other already existing, anxiety inducing element of the game, and further enforce the game's primary goal of distorting your perception: what's real and what's not, what/who can you actually trust, what is the truth? It brought me anxiety to the point where it was borderline uncomfortable, and that's exactly why I loved it so much.

I spent the majority of this game in awe, just watching the story unfold. Every twist or reveal felt like a gut punch (in the best way I could mean this), and it made Senua (the girl you play as) feel human, something not a lot of games can do properly in my opinion. This game uses everything in its arsenal to create a truly dreadful experience: visuals, audio, light, combat, etc. without abusing jumpscares or scary monsters (although fighting Fenrir scared the ever loving hell out of me, but so did dealing with him in general). Rather, it capitalizes on its strongest suit: the childlike fear of what lies in the dark- what might occur if the dark really does take control.

The ending made me question my entire purpose (sort of)

It's going to sound weird, or insane, but the ending changed me as a person I think. It made me seriously reconsider some major things in my life, and take a moment to appreciate some others. It's both some sort of psychological torture or terror and an enlightening experience. It brought me to tears and left me completely speechless for what felt- and actually was- hours.

In its own very special and well done way, it's not strictly a game about a girl that's gone mad, or a quest about retrieving a soul, but it sucessfully and sensibly touches upon themes of grief, loss, and folklore. I can safely say I've never been more immersed or touched by a game on every single level. There are tens of memorable moments that I think back on, and I can't believe I got through every single one of these.

The ending took a twist for me. It was far from what I expected, but I think that's what made me as satisfied as it did- and yet it left me wanting even more. Which is why I'm so incredibly pumped for when the sequel comes out. Despite warning about spoilers, I won't actually say how it ended. I'll let whoever reads this discover for themselves one way or another.

Conclusion?

I recommend this game with my whole heart to whoever can handle these kinds of topics. It's beautiful, the story is heartbreaking, the gameplay is fun, and the visuals are beyond gorgerous.

#game review #hellblade #senua #hellblade: senua's sacrifice #ninja theory #gaming #video game review #i love this game so much oh my god #hellblade brainrot #hellblade 2 #im so excited for the sequel holy shit holy shit

[dramarising-replacement]

Perma-Bans, Petty Bans, and Poor Appeal Process

Recently I had my account banned for multi accounting. Now why would I be so pissed about this? Because the alt I had made was because of lost credentials and never interacted with the actual account I have, abandoned with literally two dragons in the lair the instant I got the creds for my real account back. But the account in itself isn’t where my peeve comes in. It’s the permanent ban of an active account after an alt was made two years prior. How was this alt found, you wonder? I sent a ticket in with the wrong email linked to my primary account asking about something related to copyright of FR on an upcoming project of mine. Okay that’s a little strange that I only got banned after I asked a question like that specifically, surely the appeal process will go fine when I provide context? Wrong! Even accused of funneling in the process (didn’t happen). What happens when the ticket staff are asked for receipts of said funneling? Permanent denial of response and ban stays in place. It genuinely goes over my head how genuinely abhorrent the process for handling potential multi-accounting is. I have met many people who have gotten away with very blatant funneling and multi accounting and willingly admitted it but are able to explain it away by lying in regards to something like siblings with shared devices. Even people who I personally have reported for funneling with verifiable evidence go untouched. How is this such a frequent issue? And why is it that people who make the most minor mistake of happening to make an account under a lost creds context gets all of their money and work zapped from them when people who do much worse in regards to TOS get off free? How is there no nuance to these situations by now? Are the staff just that petty and unwilling to work with the literal community that funds them? Why would making an account with zero work, interacts, etc be a constitution for a permanent account closure? Do the staff just not realize there is more punishment options than ‘oh you know what you lose it all, fuck you’? They have the ability to actually see context as clear by their forums punishment system, but refuse to take any strike actions on something with valid context? There’s so many other things that could be done, temporary bans, lockdowns on CR/AH, etc. But that’s just too difficult for them huh? What’s the damn point of the appeal function if they don’t actually bother to reconsider a choice? You cannot tell me either that gimmick accounts like nuzlocke form accounts aren’t also Alts. You would be a liar, and you would also be lying if you said that people don’t often make alts for ‘new starts. It’s honestly kind of funny at this point how many people ive heard the stories from who either got perm banned because they made an alt when they were like 14 and got banned 5 years later and stories of people actively funneling in major ways but haven’t been banned for years. The issue is so fuckin prevalent and yet half the time a ban happens because of it it’s for the most minor version of the rule break and almost never the people who actually violate the terms. “Economy advantage this, flight forums that” my ass. If the staff can’t hold even a small bit of understanding for such a minor issue which context resolves, maybe they don’t deserve the use of their site at all. Half the time I’ve seen staff interact with people they’re unbelievably rude and petty, especially Aequorian or whatever their name is. Always have to have a last laugh. But I digress. Maybe I’ll come back to my little account in 5 years time and appeal again and get denied. Kinda weird to think the accounts that had so much genuine time and effort dedicated into them are forced to rot for longer than they were ever active because of a faulty term of service and faulty enforcement of it.

#Rant #Flight Rising #Cursing #Staff #Long post #Petty

[peachdues]

peach oh my LAWD phanta 3 was so good 🥺. Would you consider explaining the title a little more? i read the para at the end with it and i kind of got it, but i wanted to pick your brain a little too!

(I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to get around to this pls don’t hate me too much).

First, thank you!! Second, I love this question bc honestly, the Phanta brain rot is still real. More below the cut since I went off lol.

spoilers below.

Almost everything in Phantasmagoria is, well, a phantasmagoria — an exhibition of optical effects and illusions; a constantly shifting complex succession of things seen or imagined.

Nearly every part of the story — character interactions, perspectives, plot points — is distorted in some way, whether it be by Wisteria/alcohol, grief, or just individual stubbornness.

The Wisteria is probably the most obvious example, as it literally distorts Reader’s perceptions of both herself, her environment, and her interactions with others

I was particular with not describing the Reader physically (even beyond her clothing) past that initial scene in Part I when she goes to the Kizuki for the first time with Mitsuri. When she does describe herself, she speaks of herself as a “raving princess” and “effervescent” — but nothing truly descriptive.

Why does it matter? Contrast that with the comments Sanemi makes about how he “wouldn’t have known it was her” (which later we find out is literally true); he also tells her, point blank, she looks gaunt, and she has no reaction whatsoever — not even an internal reaction. That’s the wisteria distorting her self-image, until she finally looks in the mirror at the end of Part II and fully sees herself for the first time in a while — and realizes what it has done.

But the Wisteria distorts other things too, namely, the appeal of the club/rave life that Reader throws herself into. At first, she calls it a paradise — it’s her escape from both her heartache and from herself in general. The club then distorts her perception of others — namely, Sanemi, like when she describes him as “menacing” under the club lights, and yet the flashback that immediately follows is one of the saddest in the series — and it shows that Sanemi is hurting just as much as she is. But the wisteria distorts everything around her, so she’s only seeing what she wants to see. Yet, when the illusion starts to crack, what happens? She panics — she describes the Kizuki as too loud, too claustrophobic; the Wisteria quite literally leaves a bitter taste in her mouth.

The other major example of a phantasmagoria in the story is its main theme — grief. Anyone who has been up close and personal with grief can probably attest to the way it quite literally changes how you view everything — even if that means it narrows your perception (I.e. distorts it). Both Reader and Sanemi are grieving significant losses, and those losses make them blind to the other’s suffering in return. It’s not so much miscommunication as it is two kids who were forced to bear the weight of the world way too fast.

That grief then continues to distort their reality, but not in the sense that they’re misremembering events. Everything they say happened, actually happened. Y/N was abandoned by Kyojuro and Sanemi; but she distanced herself from them first, and she also abandoned Sanemi when he needed her. Neither of the boys were there for her while her mother was sick and when she died; but they didn’t know until it was too late. Sanemi did return her feelings 100% at the train station; but he was so overwhelmed and reeling from Genya’s death that he reacted poorly. Sanemi did see Y/N that day at the crosswalk; he just didn’t recognize her. Y/N was isolated after her mother died, but Sanemi was desperately trying to find her the whole time.

Thus, everything happened exactly the way both Y/N and Sanemi said it did, but their grief prohibited them from stepping back and seeing the broader picture — so their interpretation, though objectively true, is still distorted. This translates into other things as well, such as Y/N constantly misinterpreting Sanemi’s motives and efforts to make things right between them, because otherwise, it wouldn’t square with the understanding she has of what happened and why. She thinks he’s using her for convenience; he’s actually letting her use him in any way she wants just so he can have a chance to take care of her. She accuses him of being possessive because he feels entitled to her affection, but he actually loves her (deeply), and is terrified of losing her, because she is quite literally wasting away in front of him. She says he doesn’t care about her, yet she won’t let him. He tries to talk to her about everything right after they start hooking up, yet she refuses to engage. She runs away. She’s cold, and she shuts him down harshly even when he tries to offer her bare minimum affection and care (this also is supposed to contrast with what we know as the Reader, which is that she is still very much in love with him). We also find out that Sanemi spent every other weekend taking flowers to her mother’s grave — again, shattering that illusion she’s created in her mind that he doesn’t care about her.

It’s not until they finally hash everything out in the kitchen at Tengen’s that both realize they’ve been focusing on one narrow part of a much larger picture, and that they’ve both let their grief blind themselves to one another. When Y/N finally steps back and looks at the whole instead of the part, the illusion shatters. Love is the final phantasmagoria. Y/N realizes that she’s mistakenly believed she was running away from love (and thus, Sanemi) only to realize that not only has she been running in circles, but Sanemi has been running opposite of her the whole time. They’re two sides of the same coin; they were bound to crash into one another at some point.

This is just like, a bird’s eye overview of the mind map that I drew out in my journal for Phanta, and I’m sure I’m leaving something out. If y’all have any thoughts, I’m always happy to hear them (seriously).

Thank you for the ask, and I apologize that I went off the deep end lmao.

#🍑 rambles #phantasmagoria #sanemi shinazugawa #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #kny #kny x reader #kny fanfic #kny sanemi #sanemi x reader

[astolfofo]

coming back here again to be annoying sorry- but have you been enjoying hsr? any brain rot thoughts so far? :>

ur not annoying in the slightest! ty for sending in these asks. I've been enjoying Hsr a lot. I'm kinda busy as of right now, so I haven't been playing too much, and I haven't gotten too far in the story. But. I will be playing and writing more in July. So... we'll see until then

also I'm so sorry for just like. answering these like more than half a day apart, I wrote this at 3am and forgot to post it. So I apologize for any spelling errors or if it's like. Uncomprehendable.

As for brainrot ideas...

Okay so the first one I had was about Isekai!engineer reader. Honestly, sort of more like an oc at this point, but it's kinda more of my own self-insert more than anything so... hehe. Basically my idea for this is that like, any good old classic isekai. You're living your life, as an engineering major, until you get pulled into the HSR world. No reason why, but now you're just here. Depending on where you land, it's either gonna get bloody and brutal for you, or it's gonna be a cakewalk, so you have to be careful.

You're given a weapon (gun) for basic self defense, and you know the basic skills, but to survive, but... it's not like these skills will be of much use against an entire world with an envoirment the real world can only dream of.

But it's okay. You're an engineer. You've been through tough times, you know how to survive. You're not one of those wimpy kids who took computer science, or computer engineering. You've been out in the wild for various projects, you've survived long periods of harsh times. You're confident in your practical survival abilities. You have to be. Plus, it's not like you can hesitate, cause you might die at any given point. You're not from this world, and you know people are hostile here.

And because I'm a helpless simp for Kafka (this entire au was literally made while i was thinking about kafka hhhhnnng), no matter where you land initally, given that you survive, you're gonna run into Kafka, and she's gonna take you. Because you're interesting to her, you're an exception to the world. You don't have any future, nor a destiny, you were guaranteed to die.

But not anymore. Kafka's going to keep you no matter what. No one else will be able to have you. She'll have you alive, even if it's the last thing she does.

And you can't escape Kafka. You can't escape the world until you die. Everyone is after you. For less than pleasant means too.

-------------

Okay also... I've just been having chronic brainrot over Dan Heng.

Like just... Him. Him as a very self aware, yet painfully unaware yandere is just... incomprehendable screaming noises. Like he's introverted, has attachment issues, and is just hella repressed. He'd know these emotions... feelings aren't normal, but he can't help himself as he just falls into insanity. Maybe you showed kindness to him, maybe you looked at him a bit more than usual, or even talked to him. Well, whatever it is, he can't help but long for more of it. It's been too long since he had a will for something. It's wrong. It's so wrong. He's aware enough to know that. But you make him feel complete. And he can't help it. He can play this war of mind and heart all he wants, but in the end he'll always succumb to his emotions.

And he'll win you over no matter what. It's the only thing he can do.

--------------------------------

Oh a few others just include like... mean girl Seele/Bronya (Heather's style au. no I will not elaborate. please ask me to elaborate)

Yandere trailblazer too...

Oh Oh and Asta x Subordinate reader (I love asta)

#yandere hsr #yandere hsr x reader #hsr #honkai star rail #yandere kafka x reader #yandere dan heng x reader #187-mg

[dcwnthercbbithcle]

Removing this from the Masterlist Post of 'Bun's canon divergence for the Nurse explained' cause it doesn't really fit in terms of the plain going over Sally's story in a nutshell, but that doesn't mean it's any less important!

Sally's mental health degrading is a major driving factor in the narrative around her character, as is her point of view slowly shifting from this idea of death constantly following her and stealing away her joy and the innocent, wonderful things (her baby sister, some friends, her children and husband) to death serving as the only escape from the unrelenting hell of existence for the innocent. To live is to suffer, to be punished, and edgy as it sounds, truth and justice are concepts man devised to make himself feel better about the inconsequential cruelty of the world.

It's bleak, it's edgy, but it's the position of hopelessness all of the events in Sally's life have conspired to put her in. (Entire post of it's own but to put it in a nutshell: class-shock, racism, sexism (both at women and intersex people) the loss of pregnancies, children and eventually her husband, systemic oppression, grooming (exploitation of widows in pre-1900s), abuse in the work place of ALL kinds, eventual escalation into S/A. being witness and rendered helpless to a sort of suffering that even pales her own (it's her patients, innocent and frankly left to rot in overcrowded, underfunded positions and subject to soul destroying 'treatments' in the form of lobotomy and things that her heart knows are torture) just to highlight the most important notes)

But I would be remiss to say that like, fuck, her misery doesn't end when she steps out of Crotus Prenn. Returning to her home nightly, the home Andrew built for them and the family he and Sally would build together; she returns to a graveyard, both literally and metaphorically.

Sally's home, this homey looking wooden manor surrounded by trees but there's this notable coldness when you enter it. It seems abandoned in all but three rooms: the kitchen, the living room and the master bedroom. Through following the dust, you can follow Sally's daily path through the home, like a funeral procession. Passing by empty rooms that were supposed to be nurseries, still furnished, but now covered in a layer of dust, a monument she hasn't found the strength to disassemble. And moving beneath a portrait of her and Andrew, commissioned for her wedding that seems to glare knowingly, but she keeps it up, she knows she deserves the condemnation of Andrew's stare for how badly she's let things become.

But that's just the inside of the house, ghosts of hopes gone and the possibility of where fate could have lent a merciful hand and changed everything and yet didn't

When you pass into the backyard, amidst rose bushes and columbines and so, so many beautiful little concrete monuments of angels at play and dogs keeping watch, are graves. Nine. Little. Graves. All of Sally's children. Never further than a stroll from the monster of a house that threatens to consume her every night she returns home.

[rey-jake-therapist]

I'm back to my Overture brainrot! Lol, who am I kidding, I never left. This story and its potential and canon implications haunt me on a daily basis, to the point I changed a major plot point of my Sandman fic so it would work with Overture. A fic I should be writing instead of this post buuuuuuut let's not go there LOL

I remember we recently discussed it with @writing-for-life, and if I remember well admitted that Morpheus' story would have always been a tragedy, even if things had turned out differently in Overture.

This might be true, but it's fascinating to think of the canon consequences the events of Overture had on Morpheus' life.... Before saying goodbye to Dream, Calliope tells him the Oneiros she knew would have left her to rot. He doesn't seem to disagree, and we as an audience know being a prisoner for a hundred years changed him.

But watching this scene it struck me hard - even though I already knew - that he would have not been caught by Burgess if he hadn't been weakened by the recent events. And the recent events wouldn't have happened if he had killed that star, a billion years ago... And why didn't he kill this star? Because he didn't want to kill another living thing. Because after blowing up an entire planet, he still had compassion in him. So it's fair to say that it's the compassion he had then, that sealed his fate... Had he killed the star like he was supposed to do after blowing up the Vortex's planet, there would have been no need to fix the past.

It's often believed, including by other characters who know him, that Morpheus was nothing but a cruel prick before he was kept prisoner of Burgess. But doesn't the fact that he refused to take innocent lives, and took the risk to let a star live, show that the frontiers between good and bad, and between before and after aren't that obvious? My theory is rather that being kept a prisoner didn't change him, but made him go back to his original state, the Morpheus he was before destroying so many lives: compassionate, and deeply kind.

We aren't told that in the new reality, Dream killed this star himself -ghost Hope just asks the dreamers to live a world where a star died-, but if we admit that he did, this day would have necessarily changed him. If he killed the star that day, it means that he had no compassion left for anyone. It's unlikely that the death of this changed the course of *his* reality that much because when he meets Hope, he was very lonely and even wonders when was the last time someone held his hand.... There's probably not a reality where Morpheus was happily married, of when he gets a happy ending... But it's possible though that in the reality where he showed compassion for this star, he didn't become the cold, cruel Morpheus we're told he was before Burgess caught him. Maybe in this reality, he didn't condemn Nada to Hell... Maybe he was more a listener for Orpheus.... Maybe he kept a good relationship with Calliope...

I mean, maybe that's the real tragedy: that because he showed compassion one day, he paid the high price for it, and spent a big part of his life being someone he never wanted to be....

#The sandman #The sandman meta #the sandman overture #The sandman bookclub #Dream of the endless #don't mind my rambling

[makethosenarratorsfight]

UNRELIABLE NARRATORS; SIDE A

The Biologist Propaganda:

She tells the reader that her first hand account of events is scientific and impartial before revealing wayyyy after the fact that she has omitted her huge personal bias from her retelling of the events because she is fully aware that she's an unreliable narrator and is using that awareness to retroactively edit the story in her favour. Truly she's unlike any other protagonist I've ever encountered, its insane. Here's a tumblr text post that sums up everything: https://www.tumblr.com/12thbiologist/713885306846347264/annihilation-is-soooo-good-because-the-biologist?source=share

Yukio Okumura Propaganda (note; this is one submission, tumblr just has a word limit for blocks of text):

content warning for self destructive topics, murder, guns, body possession, suicide, mental illness, religion (?) (never directly mentions christianity), self hatred, dysfunctional family(??), self hatred. just a heads up, if you want to skip this you can. nothing in here is described seriously, its generally needed to understand basic plot points for this manga, so i didnt just include it for no reason!!! dont read this if it could harm you mentally!! its also just really long and kind of devolves into a plot summary near the end. his character explores moral greyness and utilizes his subsequent depressive states in a way thats really interesting to me. its pretty relevant that hes an unreliable narrator even in the early chapters of the manga. something interesting to me is that he's *not* the main character of the manga, so its set up in a way where the reader knows he's an unreliable narrator, but because he sets up a lot of the major exposition, the reader doesnt have a reason to believe him. i know it sounds kind of stupid, but its executed a lot better in the manga!!! its less about him actually *being* an unreliable narrator, and more about what it means for such a major character who introduces part of the plot, to be an unreliable narrator! he's the biological son of satan, but isnt a demon— (this is gonna be hard to explain but the demons in ao no exorcist are only called demons, they're easily equated to demons from abrahamic religions, but they mainly exist as a concept, they first have to develop an ego, and choose a body to possess. higher level demons arent able to possess a body because their power corrupts it and it rots away. satan only called himself satan because his college gf was in a christian cult, which is kind of funny to me because his son, lucifer, already did the whole satan motif. in the ao no exorcist universe, there is no 'god', satan is the ultimate being.)— unlike his maternal twin, rin, who has a demonic heart and ego. yukio is visibly similar to his mother, and is generally puts up a front as being more mature than rin. rin is essentially the direct opposite; he's almost identical to satan in looks and personality.

this definitely hurts yukio alot during the early chapters, because satan brutally murdered their adoptive father, but yukio is partially jealous of rin. he wishes he was as 'strong' as him, as rin had never shown any self hatred or suicidal ideation to yukio earlier on in the series. this eventually drives yukio to seek out lucifer. he convinces himself that lucifer isnt working for satan. he's an unreliable narrator even to *himself*. there's generally a pretty obvious parallel to lucifer with yukio: in the series, lucifer is depicted as wanting to be as 'strong' as his brother, mephisto. lucifer corrupts all of his vessels almost instantly. he's essentially stuck in a miserable cycle, not unlike yukio. we, as the reader, gradually see yukio spiral more and more. we see him lie to the reader and the other characters, until there's a surprising moment of clarity. we see yukio talk about how he mainly hates himself. we see him say this in front of *rin*! he essentially asks rin to kill him, beliving its the only way to escape assiah (earth, also has real world religious meaning). yukio cannot, presumably, be killed. he is essentially immortal during the storyline, which is why none of his suicide attempts have ever worked. this directly parallels lucifer not being able to escape gehenna (hell. this is also just hell in judaism). rin doesnt comply for pretty obvious reasons (not wanting to murder yukio), so yukio shoots him (dont worry rin's body heals almost immediately. no demons were harmed during this story) and rin goes on the journey of self discovery and comes back less mentslly ill (he also dyes his hair black) and talks to yukio. and uhhhh rin defeats satan and everyone clapped . then rin smashed in hatsune miku's face with his sword. i fhink thats blasphemy ? im really tired right now goodnight. tldr: yukio has mental illness and lies i lobe jim. i spent over an hour on this 😭

#polls #unreliable narrator battle #unreliable narrators #the biologist #annihilation #yukio okumura #ao no exorcist #side a

[gxilds]

the borderlands

for dummies

I guess

now that we have reached the conclusion of the original manga series in the show, a lot of my friends seemed to be confused about the ending or what exactly the borderlands is. And while I haven’t finished the show (wether I am or not is debatable, granted i’m just dramatic and will get over my qualms with it fairly quickly) I have read the manga which gives you more clues as to how you should interpret it.

the mass majority of this post will be the last few chapters of the manga which stay relatively true to what the show has in it (other that some stuff that is not relevant to this post) so take that how you will.

this post will be divided into a few parts

what created the borderlands

what we can interpret the borderlands is

how it affected the players

in the last chapter we are met with this group of panels at the start

We are informed of a meteorite attack that happened two years prior to the events of this final chapter. we can grab two things from this:

this meteorite attack is relevant to the story

the story probably spans over two years

Using that first and second point, we can assume that it is not just relevant but that it is probably what the fireworks were in the beginning of the series was.

and in chapter 63 they also use fireworks for parallel as to them finishing all of them games and show is a meteorite hitting what we can assume to be shibuya

so a meteorite hit them? cool, I guess… what can we do with this information?

I’m so glad I asked, narrator me!

this leads me to the second question

how can we interpret this?

I guess… it’s more simple now that I put it into words.

Essentially,

it’s a collective state of limbo.

I guess?

It’s a point between life and death where it seems the borderlands are used to create judgment as to if the characters should really die or not.

in order to prove this we have to mix the third point into this

how has it affected the players?

in the end we find the players in the hospital with no memories of what happened in the borderlands but clearly affected

(For some reason I can’t find any panels online for this but I do still have the one of chishiya stocked up because I’m so not normal about him)

for example, Chishiya is affected emotionally and is left feeling better after his clear change of heart in the end of the series.

Niragi lays next to him burnt to a crisp and as far as we know chishiya seems to be hurt as well from the damage caused by niragi. so they’re all obviously somewhat affected by what happens inside when they leave.

Everyone else wakes up from their 2 year (supposedly) coma and is left without memory of the borderland but totally cool with each other. Arisu and Usagi ask each other out (my parents fr fr, thank you AIB Retry), Kuina is being my pookie and they’re all having fun… other than those who aren’t there.

People who died in the borderlands seem to have not made it (Karube, chota, etc), which puts the limbo theory into prospective.

as for the collective part of it… I thought that was obvious

all the meteorite victims are in the borderlands with each other and interact in ways that leave impressions on each other

duh

Look, I know the way I word this makes the writers sound dumb but I actually think it’s creative and kind of refreshing. I half expected to have them turn this shit into as the gods will when I first read the manga…and then I would’ve been left disappointed. and while there is a sequel series to cover I’m glad there’s a happy (albeit, tentative and not long lasted) ending.

I don’t think they’re going to do the sequel manga in the show, sadly. I also feel like it goes without saying that if they continue the show without using the source material other than to give us tooth rotting chishiya fluff and him living his best life after the borderlands then I’m not tuning in 😮‍💨 sorry to whatever this joker bullshit is that i’m hearing about but… lawd 😭😭

🏷️: @clearskiesandmistyeyes @irehluvr

#alice in borderland #aib #borderlands for dummies