#that part where he said he’d take care of her sons and all of their children to come after she dies would’ve gotten me too | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

beefboyandbabygirl · 11 months

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I ❤️ DILFS / GOOD GIRL (18+)

pairing: student!brother's bff!seokmin x student!good girl!reader

genre: college au, brother's best friend au, smut (MDNI), bit of crack, a small bit of angst but not nearly as much as most of my fics

description: when you head out for college, you incidentally end up at the one your bother's best friend has disappeared to 2 years prior. now, seokmin has promised your brother, vernon, to teach you and take care of you while you're away from home. unfortunately, it seems vernon should have been a bit more specific about what exactly seokmin was supposed to be teaching you.

warnings: vernon is ur overprotective brother, seokmin is not a dilf unfortunately, dirty talk, masturbation (male and female), fingering, slight restraint?, praise (f. receiving), pet names (good girl is so overused), teaching, innocence kink, corruption kink, oral (m. receiving), tiddie play, alcohol consumption, a bit of pining, shame on the readers part, she feels a bit like a slut for a moment, kinda brief mention of miscarriage? for like a metaphor lol, jeonghan is hot in this, giselle is ur bff and i almost gave up my mission and made this whole fic ab her shes so hot, ok i think thats it

quotes my creative director (@joshibambi): "just admit u wanna bang son", "o is for orgasm", "the urge to be the younger sibling for once"

wordcount: 15.9k

a/n: the way this fic took me years to write. i hav been busy :( thank u 2 every1 who liked girl code uve made my whole year :D hope u like this one 2!!

You preferred to remember Seokmin for how he was.

How he was small and young, how he had a swanky bowlcut and how he looked in his school uniform. How he and your big brother, Vernon, had bonded and watched movies together in your living room, and the countless dinners he’d stayed over for, always so respectful to your parents and you. He wasn’t your best friend, he was Vernon’s, and yet he made it so easy to feel comfortable, so easy to feel like you were the one he came over for.

You crushed on him back then, wrote countless diary entries about him and his stupid, beautiful smile. But it had been so forbidden, you remembered feeling that, because of how Vernon had groaned at you to leave every time you peaked your head through the living room door, masking your insistent eyes on Seokmin with simply wanting to “watch a grown up movie”. Sighing, you’d turn back to your princess pink room, and the boundary - the Vernon shaped boundary - that stood between you and Seokmin grew farther.

It had almost been a relief when Seokmin left for college. That was the most terrible thing, the relief you felt while your brother was grieving the sudden separation with his best friend. But your heart simply couldn’t help but let out a long sigh - years of yearning for him when he was so close by. You felt that cool wash of repose when that border between you and him had disappeared from your view. Years of watching it, wondering whether to pad closer or turn away from it, became a distant memory. For two years you were almost a normal girl and a good baby sister.

Then it was your turn to head off for college. The nearest, big college to you accepted your application and you still distinctly remember dinner with your parents and your brother, how’d they’d cheered and clinked glasses and looked at you adoringly, because you were growing up right before their eyes. Then under the faint light of the restaurant chandelier, your mom had said something that immediately sent you hurdling back to that old, distant boundary: “Maybe you’ll see Seokmin there!”

How had you forgotten? You supposed in that time you’d let yourself be more taken with the relief. It was the thought that he would be gone that had distracted you from exactly where to. And there you were with all your moving plans and your packed backs, and your glass raised and frozen in the air and your eyes wide.

Then came the reasoning: surely, you could avoid him? It was a big college, there were plenty of people. There was no logical reason you’d really have to see him. Except for Vernon, of course. Ever so oblivious, your brother had called up Seokmin to tell him the good news, and to tell him to take care of you and protect you. And Seokmin was so sweet, of course, he’d take care of his best friend’s baby sister.

And there you were at college. All grown up.

In your defense, you had avoided him skillfully. You’d turned down his request to help you with unpacking, turned down his tour of the school (that you’d actually desperately needed - why is room 240 not with all the other 40’s?!), and most of all, you’d turned down every single message inviting you to a party.

I guess to him that was a perk; partying with the older kids. He knew you after all. He knew that you were a quiet girl and you stayed within your neatly laid brick walls, and he knew you were shy, and he knew you needed help letting loose. He knew you were a good girl.

Which is why it wasn’t surprising at all that you turned down his offers - wanting to stay focused on school. At least, that’s what you told him. Truth was even being in his vicinity had put you much closer to that boundary you’d never dared cross. You were afraid even just seeing him would send you hurdling back, like a leaf in the wind. So you didn’t go.

For a while, at least.

“This is, like, a once in a lifetime opportunity!” Giselle whined and you shook your head adamantly. “Absolutely not.”

“Well, maybe not for you, but for me!” she argued. “I can’t believe you’re consistently being invited to parties with hot, sexy men, and you’re turning it down because of one guy!”

You were currently sitting in the library with your roommate, Giselle, and you’d made the unfortunate mistake of telling her about your predicament after receiving yet another invitation to a party tomorrow. Giselle was throwing a temper tantrum because she had never ever had anything as ridiculous.

You liked Giselle a lot. She was very different from you - she was hot. You weren’t - you were cute. Giselle held boys on leashes and made them do homework for her. She liked partying and sexy, black dresses. You were a fucking nerd, and cute was the highest compliment you had ever received for your looks. Even though you were different, Giselle had immediately taken a liking to you. You had initially feared she would think you were lame, but she was so nice - except for right now.

“Come on, Y/n, there are, like, no cute guys in our year!” she said pleadingly, clasping her hands together and pouting, but you shook your head.

“You don’t understand, Giselle,” you murmured solemnly, trying to regain your focus on the science textbook in front of you.

“I understand perfectly well,” she said and you eyed her suspiciously. “I understand that you’re a bitch!”

“Alright, that’s unnecessary,” you said, closing your book. You pinched the bridge of your nose, when she went on. “No, honestly, Y/n. You’re a virgin, right?”

You snapped your head towards her in shock. Your eyes darted around frantically, before you leaned over the table to whisper to her: “How do you know that?”

“Don’t embarrass yourself, honey,” she grinned, holding back laughter and you rolled your eyes, sighing. “And what about it, Giselle?”

“How are you ever gonna get yourself out there if you’re constantly caught up on this guy and trying to keep away your feelings for him? You’ll stay a virgin forever, girl. You need to look him in the eyes and realize you’re above that childish crush!”

You stayed quiet, slumped in on yourself with your book in your lap. Why was she making sense?

You’d never thought about it that way. That your infatuation with your brother’s best friend was somehow holding you back from exploring and evolving as a woman. That maybe having him in the back of your mind every time you’d shyly made out with guys in high school, had been the thing that stopped you in your tracks.

“I can see it on your face, you know I’m right,” Giselle smiled smugly from behind the screen of her laptop. “Unless you’re asexual. In that case, fierce, but if you’re not, like, get out there, queen. Sometimes you need to realize that you have to leave one dick for another dick because the other dick is so good.”

You furrowed your brows. “Is.. Is this still about me?”

“No,” Giselle shook her head.

“Okay, yeah, ‘cause- ‘cause that didn’t..”

“Yeah, I know. I was more so, uh, angling-”

“Right-”

“Angling the story to- to my current situation.”

“I get it, yep.”

There was a moment of silence. You pursed your lips and looked at the message on your phone. Then you started typing.

“Are you telling him you’re coming with your super sexy, hot friend?”

“Yes.”

“Y/N, I LOVE YOU.” _____________________________

Regret was a nasty, old demon on your back and it had twisted and tugged at your guts, while you let Giselle get you party-ready. You’d sat on her bed, in her dress, and having her put her makeup on you, you’d sulked and tried to shrug off your back.

“You look so hot when you actually try,” she’d giggled, using a fluffy brush to spread the bake underneath your eyes.

“Thanks,” you’d mumbled, and she’d paused her movements, frowning.

“What’s wrong?” she’d asked, sitting back on her knees. You had sighed, reaching a hand up to run it through your hair, but pausing midway when you realized you would ruin the styling Giselle had worked so hard on. You lowered your hand again.

“I’m not sure about this,” you’d murmured and she frowned genuinely. “Y/n, I meant what I said. I know I talk a lot about boys and stuff, but you really shouldn’t let yourself be held back by him!”

Before you could speak again, Giselle had tugged you off the floor to stand in front of her mirror.

“Look at you,” she’d cooed, clapping your shoulders. “You look so pretty!”

You’d smiled a little shyly, looking at your form in the mirror abashedly. You were pretty. Not cute, not nerdy; pretty. Curves hugged tight by a sleek, black dress from Giselle’s closet, this was a version of you that could actually see having sex - seducing men, gaining from her looks.

“I guess you’re right,” you’d said sheepishly, and Giselle had smiled sincerely and you’d let her take you to the party down the streets in a nearby frat house, and you’d almost not wavered when you stood right in front of it, music blasting out of every crevice.

But then you were inside and he was right there. For the first time in two years, he was there, and he was so hot. He was wearing a white tee and a fucking silver chain, and, God, when did he start working out, because his arms were so big and so toned. And his hair was fluffy and dark brown, and his face was slim, and the tops of his cheekbones were shining under the kitchen lamp, where he was talking to some other guy, arm flexed, as he leaned against it on the counter.

If there was one thing about Seokmin that had stayed the same it was that smile. He wore it now, laughing, as he talked to some blonde guy about something, and you wanted to scream because, there it was. The boundary, the ledge, the line, whatever, it was right before you again, right there with him. And all the feelings that came with it, your heart, wet and red in your throat, a brew of anxiety in your stomach.

Without sparing even a second, you’d clasped onto Giselle’s wrist, tugging her into a herd of anonymous people, and just walking. Walking, walking, pulling her along (she countered only with a “hey!”) only for you to hit a wall or something, just as long as you were far, far away from him.

“What the hell?” she said, when you finally stopped walking because you’d entered the living room, which was apparently more exclusive, as only a few people populated it, including a couple that was making out on the far end of the couch.

“He was there,” you gasped dramatically, as if you’d seen a ghost. “I-I can’t do this, Giselle.”

“Relax, babe, it’ll be fine. You’re away from him now, aren’t you?” Although she was trying to be supportive, you could tell she was growing a little tired of your theatrics. You couldn’t care less though, you were panting, and peering over her shoulder to see if he was somehow coming towards; and, God forbid, smile at you with that angel grin.

Giselle followed your gaze and sighed, brows furrowing. “How about I get us some drinks? Then you can let loose a little.”

You nodded absently, following her lead when she pulled you to sit down on the couch. You clambered to the couch rest, when she walked away, swaying her hips to the music.

You might’ve looked different, but you were still you. The entire scene had you uncomfortable, and you were still the shy, unconfident and nerdy girl. You cursed yourself for letting Giselle’s reassurances fool you - you would never be this type of person, and you would surely never get over Seokmin. She’d been wrong about everything.

“You okay, darling?”

You jumped at the voice, eyes darting up to see who it was.

You didn’t know him. He was handsome, though, but you’re not even sure you’d call it that. He was pretty, and he had long, black hair and big eyes and he was giving you this teasing smile, that was doing nothing to ease your nerves.

“I’m good,” you squeaked, gaze moving to a nearby pair of shoes in the corner of the room. You heard him chuckle, before he dropped into a squat before you. One lean hand came up to your knee, giving it a squeeze. “You just look so nervous, pretty,” he sat down an anonymous cup of liquor. “I don’t think I know you. Can you tell me your name?”

The hand on your knee burned into you, thumb brushing back and forth over the skin and he was looking at you so intently, it had you sputtering. “Uhm, uh, Y/n.”

His thumb froze. You looked over at him curiously to find this dumbfounded expression on his face, devious grin spreading on his pretty features. He chuckled and cleared his throat, face dropping down before he moved it back to look at you again.

“You’re the girl Seokmin’s always inviting over here?”

You nodded shyly and he smiled at you. “I’m Jeonghan.”

“Hi.”

A pause. Jeonghan squeezed your thigh, watching in delight at the way you screwed your eyes shut.

“You know, I just didn’t expect you to look like this,” he said finally and, sensing your confusion, he teasingly added: “The girl who’s always turning down parties to study.”

You blush deepened, cheeks furiously rosy, as you fiddled with your fingers in your lap. “I borrowed my friend's clothes,” you breathed, pursing your lips. “Ah!” Jeonghan gently patted the top of your thigh, nodding along exaggeratedly, “You borrowed your friend’s clothes! I see!”

He studied you while you giggled at his antics, still refusing to look him in the eye, really. He was almost suffocating, his hand on your thigh and his eyes boring into your face, and his cologne in a constant stream in and out of your nostrils. But suffocation, you decided, was almost better than being around Seokmin and having him parade his kind heart and his thick arms and his sweet smile, and just how off-limits he was.

Ripping you from your thoughts, Jeonghan stood up, placing both hands on the tops of your thighs and bending down to your face, so his nose was buried in your cheek.

“Look at me, darling,” he whispered, then pulled his face away from yours, just enough so you could gaze into his brown eyes. His hands were much higher now, squeezing hard at the plush of your thighs, dangerously close to your center and only separated by the thin fabric of Giselle’s dress.

“There she is,” Jeonghan smiled, voice a whisper. His lashes came over his eyes, when they flitted down to your lips. “Don’t you wanna come with me upstairs, and I can make you feel really, really goo-”

“JEONGHAN! GET OFF OF HER, THAT IS MY BEST FRIEND’S BABY SISTER!”

There’s a voice you know.

From across the room, Seokmin had burst through the mass of people, now power-posing with an extended finger in the direction of where Jeonghan was tilting over you, rubbing your thighs, as you sat innocently before him.

Jeonghan stood up, taking all of his heat and his suffocation and cologne with him, groaning and throwing his head back. “Seokmin!” he whined and he was suddenly no longer so suave and seductive.

“No, I won’t hear it, Jeonghan,” Seokmin said and, as much as you knew Seokmin to be sweet and tender and lovely, there was this crystal-clear anger in his voice. He walked over, one large hand pushing at Jeonghan. “Go get any other girl and sleep with her, just not her. Get your sorry ass out of here.”

Apparently Jeonghan sensed the same thing you did - a rare anger in Seokmin - because he didn’t put up much of a fight at all, only smiled at you apologetically (and then, when he was behind Seokmin, gave you a small, devious wink - he just couldn’t help himself).

You couldn’t focus much on Jeonghan at all though. Because Seokmin was standing in front of you, all muscle and huge fucking thighs by your head, and when you dared to tilt your gaze up to him, you saw how all that anger simply melted away.

“Hey,” he breathed, smiling softly.

“Hey.”

Then his eyes darkened, if only for a moment, as they traveled over your figure, gift-wrapped in that tight, black dress. His jaw clenched and he looked around for a moment. When he looked at you once more, he was giving you that smile - the one you’d fallen in love with - and the chocolate in his eyes was melting.

“Come on,” he ushered gently, one hand carefully guiding you off the couch. “Let’s go to my room where there aren’t any scary, evil, mean men.”

Despite being so on edge, so jittery, as you followed him up some distant staircase, you couldn’t help but laugh at those words. He was talking exactly like he had when you were kids. That was how you preferred to remember him; all small and young and with a swanky bowl cut, and he’s the exact same way with you, hand warm in yours, as he guides you through the house.

“Why’re you laughing?” he smiled, and you suppressed your own, trying not to dwell too much on how fast your heart was beating. “It’s just like before,” you quipped and Seokmin’s hand squeezed yours in understanding.

He lumbered down the hallway and at its very end, preceded by rows of white oak doors, he opened his own with a twist and a turn of the brass-blend knob. When he closed it, the party became muffled around you, as if his room was filled with water, and now the rest of the world was a garbled mess, and you were drowning.

His room was clean. You supposed Seokmin had never been the messy type - not even when infected by the influence of Vernon. He had a half-open closet, where you spotted folded clothes, and a circle rug and purple and green lava-lamp plugged in on his nightstand.

Seokmin apparently did not think it was clean enough, because he swooped down gallantly to grab a tossed sweater, smiling at you sheepishly when he held in between his fingers. You stared at him.

You felt like a kid again. Felt like just a young girl, creeping through the crack in the living room door, and looking at his silhouette, outlined by some grotesque horror movie playing on the TV. His sharp nose, when he turned to Vernon and laughed, his hair, all poofed and tousled and scruffy, and his smile.

And you’d let yourself fall into this trap, maybe to some extent you’d even wanted it. Because now he was right in front of you, and so was that damned barrier, right by your outstretched fingertips, and you could almost envision yourself climbing over it - climbing into his lap and-

“I didn’t think you’d ever come,” Seokmin said gently, a permanent, small smile frozen on his lips. You coughed, unready. “Uh, yeah, my friend- my friend thought I should try and.. You know, get myself out there.”

Seokmin studied you, bemused and fond, fiddling with the baby blue sweater in his hands. You were looking back cautiously, as if assessing a threat, but the threat was the sweetest, kindest boy in the whole wide world.

“Yeah, well,” he cleared his throat suddenly, ripping his gaze from you to fold the sweater onto his desk chair. “I’m sorry about Jeonghan, he’s.. You shouldn’t, uh..” Now neatly folded, you saw him rubbing the sweater between his fingers. “You should stay away from him.”

“Why?” you asked, and it was genuine enough that Seokmin let out a sigh.

“You’re too much of a good girl to be with him. He’s no good.”

A whimper clawed its way up your throat, bubbled from the depths of your belly, but you tamed it and settled on a light hum. You felt your underwear becoming a little sticky, and you wanted to die, because God, this was your brother’s best friend. They still facetimed every Tuesday and still played Fortnite together over Discord every Saturday.

“College going good?” Seokmin asked, retreating from the sweater to sit down on his bed. He looked up at you brightly and patted the spot next to him. It felt like another trap, where the folds in the blanket curved down under his weight, and would eventually lead you into him. You sat down hesitantly.

“It’s okay,” you breathed, folding your hands and in your lap and tensing your shoulders. Seokmin, fully relaxed and slumped, noted your posture and slid his hand over the exposed skin of your back. “Hey,” he whispered, so intimate it hurt your heart, “hey, hey, relax, Y/n. It’s just me.”

His eyes were soft and full of concern when he spoke quietly again, his voice almost a backdrop to the muffled sounds of dancing college students: “You know, Vernon was really concerned about how you would do away from home.”

“I’m not doing bad!” you said quickly, dismissing it immediately. Seokmin stared at you. “I just- this isn’t really my scene.”

His hand felt searing hot on your back, where it slid up and down, almost coaxing you further into him. He hummed. “Yeah, I didn’t think so.”

Then: “I’m sorry if I made you feel like you had to come. Just figured you might want that street cred of being friends with the upperclassmen.”

You snorted and, cheeks rosy as ever, started giggling, eyes still cemented to the floor. Your hair was falling gently over your face, wisps of baby hair tickling your forehead.

“It’s okay,” you sighed away the laughter, “You were just trying to get me out of my shell. I appreciate it.”

Seokmin smiled at that. His hand dropped from your back and you both stared into the expanse of his room. A small window to let in the rain, the moonlight separated by the grid, and the curtain blowing in a solemn breeze. You and Seokmin sat, both very small suddenly, like kids, on the edge of the bed and became speckled in starlight, in diamond-dust.

Then Seokmin was doing it. He was letting you be comfortable, letting you slip into a dazed joy, intoxicated from his presence. He was asking about your teachers, exams, friends, experiences, and you were both laughing together, and once again you were forgetting that Seokmin was your brother’s best friend, and he was not with you for you, but he was simply talking to you out of courtesy to your brother. He let you forget.

“You going home for the break?” he asked then, room quieted down from all the laughter. The fall break, starting tomorrow, you remembered. You’d thought about going home, but had opted to text your parents that you were staying, wanting honestly to stay in your dorm room and work on assignments and organization and just lull in bed, instead of being taken up, down and everywhere in your hometown. You shook your head.

“Really? Me neither,” he said, brows raised. “Won’t you get lonely?”

You giggled shyly. “Maybe a little.”

“We could hang out,” he breathed, and at that you tasted the boundary between you, felt it firm under your fingertips, because you couldn’t discern whether he was protecting his friend’s baby sister or if he actually liked talking to you, and your heart beat and yearned and hoped for the latter.

“Yeah, okay,” you nodded, melting when you saw his smile reach his eyes.

“Didn’t you always like, uh, Mario Kart? You always wanted to play with me and Vern,” Seokmin said, but he was looking distantly into the window. You almost wanted to cry because he remembered you, remembered things that you liked. “I got it on my Playstation, we can play tomorrow.”

“I’d like that,” you said.

Then Seokmin was loaning you his hoodie, and, bathed in his warm, tender smell, he followed you home under the moon, glaring at Jeonghan on his way out.

“Keep the hoodie,” he’d said, smiling sheepishly when you stood in front of your dorm door. “It’s cute.”

He patted your head and left, thankfully before he could see how red your face was, and how you were absolutely about to blow up from unfiltered joy. You shuffled into your dorm room and tried to soothe the basking butterflies in your stomach and your burning heart.

Was he standing right across from you on that line, waiting to cross? _____________________________

Giselle woke up just early enough to catch you switching between different button-up dresses, throwing one on, looking in the mirror, and deciding to try another. She was groggy and tired and somewhat hungover, and needed to catch a train, so she could get back home.

“What are you doing?” she cried, rubbing her eyes. You scurried back and forth trying on another dress, considering white tights, then white socks, then adjusting the tone and volume of your blush.

“I’m-” you gasped in between your hard labor, “I’m seeing a boy!”

This caught Giselle’s attention. She shot straight up in her bed and looked at you with huge eyes. “No way!”

“Yeah way!” you giggled deviously. You turned around to face her. “What do you think of this outfit?”

“You look cute!” Giselle praised, nodding to your red strawberry dress and your knee-highs. You slumped. There it was again - cute. Not hot, not pretty, but cute. That was what you were; like a child, like the kid Seokmin knew years ago, like his best friend’s baby sister. Nothing more.

“Who is this mystery guy?” Apparently Giselle was too busy rubbing sleep out of her eyes to see how her compliment had deflated you.

“It’s Seokmin. My-”

“Your brother’s best friend?!” She gasped. It was one shock after another from you that morning. “I wanna say I’m disappointed in you, but.. If you pull this off you’re way freakier than me.”

“We’re not gonna have sex!” you groaned, pouting as you hastily shoved on your shoes. “We’re gonna play Mario Kart.”

“Right, this cute guy just invited you over for Mario Kart and nothing else, I get it,” Giselle said sarcastically.

“You don’t know him,” you mumbled defensively, shoes on and now staring at yourself in the mirror once more. “Cute,” the mirror spat at you.

“All men are the same,” Giselle rolled her eyes and threw herself back on the bed. You snorted and began to walk out the door.

“Y/n, wait!”

“Hm?”

Halfway out the door, a tote bag slung over your shoulder and ready to step into the sunlight, you peered back into the room. Giselle, in her sweats and hair fussed, stumbled blindly towards the door. She reached into her pocket and produced a-

“A condom?!” you shrieked, outraged. And not just any condom: a condom in white packaging with the lettering “I ❤️ DILFS”. You truly did not understand how Giselle managed to be a caricature of herself time after time.

“You need to wear protection, he’s in a frat, right?” she shrugged. You glared at her. “I’m not bringing a condom.”

“Alright, I guess,-” Giselle pretended to think, “I guess, you’ll just have to get chlamydia.”

You stared at her for a moment, bristling. Then you snatched it out of her outstretched hand.

“You’re unbelievable.”

“You’re a prude.”

“Goodbye, Giselle!”

The condom slipped into your tote with ease to lay snug with all your other items and then you were out the door and heading towards Seokmin’s frat house. The sun was dulled by a few clouds, but it was still shining. Leaves were turning brown and red and yellow and were falling from trees to crunch underfoot - everything was lovely.

But the expanse, in your head, was much different. In your head you were traveling the soft dunes of a desert, spotting in the brown and red and yellow horizon a cleft in the sand. When you reached it, wide and long, seemingly endless to each side of you, you were standing right in front of Seokmin’s house.

You weren’t sure how long you stood there, knuckles white where you grasped your tote, and eyes big and heart pounding. What if Giselle was right? Did you want her to be right? Would you even be able to please him if she was? Half-heartedly you tried to push away the images of Seokmin pushing into you, arms flexing on either side of your head, that spawned alongside the thought. Maybe you straddling him, his hands on your ass, his head buried in your chest, or-

“Y/N!”

You jumped, clutching your bag tight, when you snapped your head up to the voice. It was Seokmin and he was waving at you from his upstairs-window, smiling so brightly you swore the sun reflected off of his teeth.

“What are you standing there for, come inside! Door’s unlocked!” he yelled, body disappearing in the window. You stared at the window for a moment, his presence now absent, before you nodded to yourself in reassurance. You could do this, right? Just Mario Kart and small talk.

Truth was, you couldn’t do this. Not even in the slightest. You and Seokmin sat cross-legged on his bed, TV on the wall before it, drinking soda and crunching on chips. Seokmin was drenched in a green, fuzzy sweater, collarbones peeking over the rounded neck, and fingers peeking through the sleeves, where he held his controller, and God forbid, his hair was all soft and fluffy, and he was wearing fucking puppy socks.

And he was competitive, too. He was leaned forward, eyes narrowed as he sped through the course. You huffed when he blue-shelled you, and you tried to refocus.

“I thought you said you were good?” he teased, eyes leaving the screen for only a second to look at you - you, dress bunched up to your thighs and tongue peeking through your pretty, subtly red lips. A second was all that was necessary.

Suddenly, his character (baby Daisy) swerved off-course, falling into the pit below and he screeched, seemingly genuinely sad, as your character (Toadette) overtook him, the little gold badge popping up in the corner to tell you that you were number one.

“What were you saying?” you giggled cockily when you finished the last round, Seokmin unable to quite catch up to you in the last stretch. He threw himself back on the bed in defeat, groaning into his hand.

“I can’t believe I let you win,” he cried.

“Let me?” you repeated in disbelief. You scoffed and put down the controller, pretending that Seokmin lying all angelic on his bed sheets wasn’t making your stomach pinch with static. “Pretty sure that was just pure skill on my part. Don’t blame me because you’re bad at Mario Kart.”

A blow to his talents in Mario Kart was a blow to him. He snapped his head up to look at you, playfully angry. “Oh, oh wow, really? I’m bad at Mario Kart now?”

“Mhm,” you hummed, smiling cheekily at him. Seokmin studied you for a moment, before he shuffled into a sitting position. His gaze almost made you shy. Did he want to kiss you as much as you wanted to kiss him?

Seokmin shuffled closer to you and you almost stopped breathing: “Don’t I remember you being ticklish?”

You were almost so caught up in your fantasy to realize what he said. Your eyes widened in realization and you most immediately tried to twist your body away: a punishment was upon you.

“No- NO!-” You cried out but it was too late. Seokmin wrestled his body into yours, fingers dancing and prodding into your sides. Drowning in laughter, your face twisted into tortured pleasure, as you tried to bat his hands away. Your attempts were futile - each time you shuffled away, he followed right with you, fingers unrelenting as your torso twisted and turned.

"Hehehehehehe- NO, PLEASE!- hehehehehehe!”

Your knees pushed with all their might and you were almost able to drag yourself to the edge of the bed. There, you could gain distance and talk him down from beyond his desk. But Seokmin was smart. He sensed your escape plan when you squirmed away, and without much thought, he pulled his body on top of yours, weight pinning you down.

You were still giggling and squirming, when his fingers finally let up. You were both panting from the excitement, Seokmin smiling down at you adoringly. Then, both of your smiles dropped.

It was like it took a few moments to realize; he was straddling you. Hips pushed into yours, all his weight rested on your crotch - your crotch, which was now pulsating. To make matters worse, the skirt of your dress had ridden up and most of your plush thighs were now visible to him, and your chest was halfway out of your dress, and your cheeks were flushed and your hair was spread out on the sheets beneath you. Seokmin seemed unsure of where to put his hands, while you both stared at each other, breathing in the thick, heavy silence.

“I’m sorry-”

“It’s okay, I-”

“I really- I don’t know what-”

“Don’t worry-”

You were pulling down your dress again, cheeks literally flaming red and bottom lip caught between your teeth. Silence swallowed you both whole.

You wanted him back on your hips so bad. It hurt. You were aching in quick pulses, but you couldn’t even look at him. Surely, you thought, surely, he’d seen that look on your face, how your eyes clouded over with lust. Maybe he felt disgusted.

“I better-” you hiccupped, voice small, “I better go.”

Seokmin, eyes peeking at you through his lashes, feared he made you uncomfortable.

“Yeah, of course,” he mumbled.

You gathered your things and ran out of there, wetness gushing out of you. You tried to run, tried to create distance, but this time, in your mind’s eye, you ran in place, staying completely still by the cleft separating you and Seokmin. You fiddled with the edge, sand cascading into the empty, endless dark.

There was no way you could make that jump.

That night you wished Giselle was by your side. You wrote an assignment, trying to ward off the embarrassment that stormed in your brain, when you got a message, that plunged you into rock bottom:

Lee Seokmin: hey you forgot smth at my house lol

Lee Seokmin: *Image Attached*

This was it. You were going to jump off a bridge (or a cleft in a dry, sandy wasteland).

As if your life couldn’t get anymore embarrassing: it was the condom. The white condom with “I ❤️ DILFS” on it. You damned that woman for ever making you bring it. What must he have thought of you? His best friend’s little sister trying to get in his pants? Your cheeks were burning and you threw your head into your pillow and screeched. Your life was over. It had simply ended now. There was no coming back from this. You huffed and removed yourself from its plushness.

Maybe you could salvage it? Thinking on your feet, you replied:

You: OMG i’m so sorry!!!! i think that’s my roommate’s, she must’ve put it in my bag… :/

You: I’ll come pick it up ASAP :((((

You stared at your phone at the blatant. It was not a far stretch from the truth, but being caught with your hand in the cookie jar - or maybe more so the I ❤️ DILFS condom in your tote bag - it seemed like an irrationally shitty cover up.

You gnawed at your lip when the three dots popped up next to his picture, and bit it to pieces waiting for his reply. You almost jumped when your phone buzzed:

Lee Seokmin: hahahahaha

Lee Seokmin: you can come pick it up tomorrow if u want? theres no rush

You glared at the message. Laughter? Surely he hadn’t bought it. He was just trying to be nice, just trying to avoid you any embarrassment. The thought made you wanna throw up, how he felt this obligation to be nice to you when you had permanently scarred him (were you being dramatic?).

You: ok. im rlly sorry again!! i’ll pick it up tomorrow _____________________________

Tomorrow came much faster than you had hoped. No amount of tossing and turning could slow down the passage of time, and by the time you received Seokmin’s promised “I’m awake”-message, the embarrassment hadn’t faded one bit.

Every discouraged moment of getting ready was haunted by your current situation, and you stopped to cringe every five seconds, causing an honest and diligent self-hatred to bubble within you. When you knocked on Seokmin’s door, you’d honestly never felt less confident in your life.

“Y/n!” he said enthusiastically.

“Seokmin,” you said, less enthusiastic.

He smiled at you sweetly, almost as sympathetically, before stepping aside. You furrowed your brow, not really understanding why he couldn’t just hand it to you at the door, but stepping inside nonetheless. “It’s in my room,” he offered, but could he not just have brought it with him? Did he have to prolong the shame even further? You followed him to his room.

In that moment you hated Seokmin for being who he was; for being sweet, gentle, caring, and gentlemanly. You would feel less pathetic if he yelled at you, if he was genuinely disgusted and wanted nothing to do with you. But there he was all smiling and supportive, and he wasn’t touching you at all, but he still felt like pillars on your back, soothing you and holding you up.

“It was your roommate’s?” he asked absently as you traversed the halls. “Uh, yeah,” you answered sheepishly.

“I can tell,” he threw his head back to you, and there was a huge grin on his face. A little bit of hope blossomed in your chest. “Yeah, I saw her at that party, you know? I think she slept with, uh, my friend, Minghao.”

“That’ll be her,” you were smiling now too, and a huge wave of relief washed over you, as he at least let you believe that he thought it wasn’t your perversion bringing along that condom.

Finally stumbling into his room, he did indeed pick it up from his desk, handing it back to you. You looked at it in his outstretched hand and blushed sheepishly. “Thanks,” you squeaked.

Seokmin nodded in response. For a moment the two of you stood, uncertain of what to do and caught in the web of a terribly awkward silence. Seokmin’s eyes darted to the window and yours to the floor.

“Hey, uh,” he giggled a little, scratching the back of his head. “I feel really bad for losing that Mario Kart game-”

You scoffed in response, but the facade of being peeved was falling apart, as you beamed up at him.

“Maybe we could do, like, a quick rematch?”

You shrugged, trying to be nonchalant with an ever-heavy flush in your cheeks: “I don’t back away from a challenge.”

Seokmin won the rematch. This only spurred on another rematch, and suddenly there was no end to the madness. This time there was no awkwardness, no lingering silences. You were just giggling and strategizing, and throwing heat in the direction of your opponents.

That uncomfortable, clamoring feeling left you, slowly. It became easy to forget it. That feeling that he was only there with you because of Vernon, that there was always some sort of demand, a twisting hand, forcing him upon you, and that you became a sort of burden on him. That was the thing about Seokmin, though, his ability to make you feel like his best friend; his ability to make him feel like he was there for you, even when he wasn’t.

It was only after an hour and a half or so, when Seokmin paused the game.

“What the hell, Lee? I was just about to beat you!” you whined, crossing your arms. He nodded along, pushing himself off the bed. “Yes, I agree, which is why I’ve assessed that I need a refreshment.”

“Oh, you’ve assessed?”

“Yeah, I’ve assessed that I need a fresh, cooling drink in my gullet.”

You both laughed a little and slumped back, dropping the controller. Seokmin smiled at you, eyes twinkling. “You want one?”

“What are you getting?”

“A beer,” Seokmin said. Rationally, you knew you shouldn’t accept. You were bad with alcohol, and everytime you drank just a little, a little easily became a lot. That was why you took yourself by surprise when your voice left your mouth, chipper and grand: “Sure!”

One beer turned into another, and Mario Kart turned into talking on his bed, slumped into his fortress of pillows and giggling at his stories. You were a little tipsy, halfway into your second beer and your face was flushed and Seokmin was lying on his side, hand propped up under his head, as he made you laugh again.

“Your kind of partying sounds… Extreme,” you murmured, rim of the bottle pushed against your lips where your words slightly slurred. Mario Kart and alcohol had gotten you a little out of your shell, and now you and Seomin were talking like friends - as if your brother didn’t even exist. You basked in the alcoholic buzz and in this reality, this hideout, where your lovely brother didn’t exist and the faint ache in your legs at Seokmin’s godly face in the bedside lamp wasn’t so utterly misplaced.

“I think anything’s more extreme than your partying,” Seokmin mused teasingly. You huffed, putting down your beer and smoothing over your skirt. Everything was so lovely and artificially yellow and his body beside yours radiated pleasant heat. He was beautiful, you thought, looking at how the sweaters pooled on his torso and how his brown hair looked so soft and messy. You almost felt the absence of ground beneath you, when you imagined yourself at the cleft again.

“You don’t know about my kind of partying,” you joked and he chuckled softly. “You’re right, I shouldn’t make assumptions.”

You looked at him and he was suddenly serious. The smiley, gooey Seokmin was gone and his eyes, although not threatening at all, were prodding at you. Your smile fell. The alcohol at this time felt misplaced and wrong, the lightness felt wrong.

“Were you gonna, you know, go with Jeonghan at the party?” he whispered. The world was suddenly very quiet, as if it were following Seokmin’s tact. You grimaced a little. “No. No, not really.”

He studied you. You couldn’t bear to meet his eyes, opting to look at your hands in your lap. “Why not?”

A pause.

You began to pick at your own fingertips, nails digging into the cuticles. Seokmin’s eyes dragged from your face to your hands, and he scooted closer to you, only to cover your hand with his, stopping your movements immediately. Suddenly so close, his voice was whispered right in your ear, so soft and so gentle, it felt like a kiss: “Don’t do that.”

You sucked in a breath, hands ripping to your sides to lay stiff. “I’m, uh, I’m not that experienced, so I..”

Your eyes flicked up to gauge his reaction. In your worst nightmares, you imagined a laugh breaking onto his face, maybe disgust, but you felt yourself melting. He looked at you so softly, like you were the most precious, fragile thing and his hand had stilled in the air after you pushed it off, as if, like the most enchanting artwork at a museum, he fought desperately not to reach out and touch you.

It was unbearable - how still the air had become, how heavy you felt, how your chest struggled to expand. You talked again, if only to fill the air with your babbling: “I’ve not had.. I mean, I can hardly get myself off… So. I probably. Couldn’t. Get him off.”

You realized about halfway through your sentence that you should not have said that. That last half of your sentence was a breathy mess, as your voice became shaky with humiliation. His gaze, a delicate constant, was not helping either. You felt tears welling up in your eyes suddenly and maybe that was the worst part.

“You have trouble getting yourself off?” he repeated, as if to make sure. “Like masturba-”

“Yeah, that,” you squeezed your eyes shut. You couldn’t tell if you wanted him to shut up forever, so you’d never have to know his reaction, or if you wanted him to talk and be able to sense how this information changed his perception of you. His voice came, in spite of whatever you had hoped.

“I figured you were a virgin,” he mumbled, voice half muted by the palm of his hand, “but I thought you at least masturbated-”

“I do!” you defended yourself, voice much louder than his and brows furrowing and tears threatening to spill over your eyes. “I’m just- I’m not that good at it.”

“Hey,” he said softly, hand landing on your arm. You immediately shut up, lip trembling when you struggled to meet his eyes. “Relax, Y/n. It’s okay. I’m not judging you.”

You nodded half-heartedly, still incredibly uneasy.

“If you want…” Seokmin’s voice trailed off. His eyes ventured over your form briefly, licking his lips. “You know, if you want, I could teach you.”

You looked at him silently. He seemed to snap out of whatever loopy trance he had been sucked into, because he was suddenly very jittery and scrambling through the bedsheets. “Uh, I mean- you don’t- God, I’m sorry- it was only if-”

“Yes,” you said. His scrambling stilled immediately. His eyes were teacups.

“You sure?”

You nodded, not trusting your own voice.

Seokmin squeezed his eyes shut, gulping as he sat back against the bed. His legs spread apart. “Come here,” he patted his thighs.

You felt terribly sober. All that buzz and butterflies and blaze and blossom was gone and you felt like a doll, moving each limb individually, as you climbed into his lap, back to him. You were unable to think, unable to truly process what was happening, what it meant, as you felt his form engulf yours.

His hands found purchase on your hips and his breath was warm on your neck, as you felt every ridge of his abdomen on your back. His thumbs rubbed against your hip bone.

“Okay, now show me how you usually do it,” his voice was a warm hum, a twinge of nervousness laced in it. Your face was lit ablaze and you squirmed in his hold, when one hand left your hip to gently push your legs apart. You sat, all open and held against him, dress keeping you covered.

“It’s embarrassing,” you huffed, being very serious, but Seokmin smiled and nosed your hair gently.

“We can stop whenever you want, seriously, if you get uncomfortable, we stop” he reassured.

“It’s just me.”

It was. It was just Seokmin, your brothers best friend, the sweetest boy in the world, who used to have a swanky bowl cut and dorky school uniform and who was always Vernon’s most respectful friend, but he was hot and whispering into your ear and one hand was massaging the outside of your thigh.

“Should I take my dress off?” you breathed, face turned halfway back to him. His hands squeezed at you in response and you could faintly make out his tongue sliding over his lips.

“Only if you want, angel,” he whispered back, rubbing your sides tenderly. “We’re not doing anything you don’t want. Whatever makes you feel good. ‘M just here to help.”

You nodded, and although the answer was maybe made to make you keep your dress on - a reassurance that there was no need to discard it - you removed yourself from his grasp, hands coming to tug your dress off. You felt a small boost of confidence when you heard Seokmin breathe out: “Shit.”

Only in your bra and panties (terribly mismatched, your bra was black and your panties were pink), you leaned back into his hold, and you noted how Seokmin’s warm hands were much more careful now, splaying out on your bare skin.

“Are you comfortable now?” he asked quietly. You nodded. He propped his head up on your shoulder, eyes cast down your almost-nude body, chest rising and falling. Your legs were closed again, he noticed, and his veiny hand reached down to open them again. “Show me how you do it, baby, so I can help you improve.”

You gummed your lip, breathing in one last time, before your nervous fingers began dancing their way to your panties. They disappeared under the fabric for only a moment, before Seokmin spoke again.

“Sweetheart,” he tutted, hand wrapping around your wrist to stop its track. “Don’t just dive right in, you need to get yourself all hot first.”

Your brows furrowed and some of the embarrassment you felt from being this exposed and pressed into Seokmin evaporated into genuine confusion.

“What? What do you mean?” you said, somewhat outraged, and Seokmin couldn’t help the laughter blooming in his chest at that. He vibrated against your back, hands smoothing down your arm. You pouted: “Don’t laugh at me, Minnie.”

He stopped, still smiling as he nosed your temple. “I’m sorry, baby,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to your head, that had your heart beating out of your chest. “You’re just so cute.”

Cute. You remembered your disdain for that word, but somehow, when it came from his lips, it made you beam. Everywhere he touched left behind a hot, burning ghost on your skin.

“You just have to touch your body, sweetheart,” he said sweetly. You thrashed in defiance, crying out quietly with red cheeks. Wiggling your body angrily, you felt his dick half-hard in his pants against your lower back.

“Can’t you do it?” you whined, wanting nothing more than for him to take over and make you feel good. He sucked in a harsh breath behind you, fingers wrapping around your hands to soothe you still. He seemed to debate your proposal, but eventually he kissed your shoulder and spoke: “Okay, baby, but you have to show me you understand, alright?” you nodded feverishly. “We’re trying to get you to learn.”

The whole thing had you dizzy, warm and gooey in his hands, and grounding yourself on his solid torso. You had tunnel vision, unable to focus on anything but his warm hands and sweet voice, and how fucking hard he was. You leaned your head up to look at him pleadingly. Even upside-down he was pretty. He giggled at your starstruck expression.

“Look at my hands, pretty,” he tapped your nose and you scrunched it, turning down to your own body, where he sat his hands on your waist. “You do it like this.”

His hands started dragging over your skin, creating constellations of ghosts on your skin. One dragged across your stomach and down your leg, squeezing it along the way, and the other brushed over your bra-covered chest, landing on your shoulder and collarbones. Then they moved oppositely, then diverged from their chosen paths, and you started breathing heavily. Pressure built up in your stomach and your panties, and you felt how slick started leaking out of you.

“Feel good?” Seokmin grinned against your neck, listening to the melody of your panted gasps. You nodded earnestly, moaning softly. Seokmin furrowed his brows at that noise, pressing kisses to your neck appreciatively. “Good girl. Such pretty sounds.”

Both of Seokmin’s hands dragged up to your ribs. There, they paused. “Can I touch your chest, baby?”

“Please,” you whimpered, and earned another sloppy kiss to the cheek. His hands immediately grabbed ahold of your chest, softly rubbing it over your bra.

“Does that feel good?” he whispered. You hesitated for a moment. “Um, I don’t feel much, honestly.”

You’d expect him to be a little angry or defensive, but Seokmin only hummed and nustled himself into your hair. “Good girl. Good girl, being so honest with me. So pretty.”

You whined at his praise and Seokmin smiled smugly, taking notice of how heated you got from his words.

“The- the fabric is in the way..” you whimpered meekly, and Seokmin nodded in understanding, stroking your sides soothingly.

“You want to take off your bra?” he hummed, truly as if it would not expose you to him, as if it weren’t a lewd and depraved scenario, but something as simple as the weather. You nodded, removing yourself from the harbor of his arms once more to remove it. You unclipped it and threw it God knows where, before settling back into him. Seokmin peeked over your shoulder at your now bare breasts, groaning a little and covering it up with a cough. This was about you.

Seokmin placed his hands on your tits again, massaging and rubbing the soft skin, before he brushed his thumbs over your hardened nipples.

You moaned - for the first time it was a clear moan, seething from your throat and puffing into the air. “Sound so pretty,” he muttered in your ear. “You really like that, hm?”

He pinched your nipples between his fingers, your back arching into his warm hands. Then, as soon as the pleasure had begun, it stopped, when his hands came to rest on the bed. You whined, twisting your head towards his, only to be stopped by fingers on your chin, turning you back forward. “Show me you can do it now, baby. You’re learning,” he reminded you.

“But, Minnie, I want your hands,” you whined and he tutted softly in your ear. “I know, baby, but I need to know that you’re understanding this in that pretty little head of yours. Need to know you’re focusing. Come on, show me now.”

Huffing, you placed your own hands (they somehow felt more foreign than his now) on your stomach and began to mimic his movements. You smoothed them up and down on your body, squeezing, then placed them on your chest, rubbing and pinching your nipples.

“There you go,” he praised, and his hands had traveled to your shoulders, massaging them gently. You whimpered and turned your head to him again.

“Can you teach me how to touch my…” you trailed off.

“Your pussy?” he offered, as if it was nothing, as if it wasn’t vulgar or lewd. You nodded vigorously. Feeling him gulp a little, his hands became a little unsteady as they came to hold your waist again. “Can I hear you say it? Baby?” he asked and suddenly his voice was a little shaky, a little breathless.

“Can you touch my pussy now, Minnie?” you asked, and any shame had been clouded over with lust. You’d never been this burningly bothered in your life, you needed him to touch you. He groaned, and this time he was unable to cover it up. You felt how his hard cock strained against his sweatpants, how it pressed into your back, and you wanted to touch it so bad.

“Alright, baby, want your panties off?” His sharp nose was pressed into your hair. You shook your head. “Want them on.”

He nodded. “Alright, jus’ tell me if you wanna stop, okay? I’m gonna touch you now.”

His hand slipped under the waistband of your panties, disappearing under the pink fabric. As if they were always meant to be there, his fingers slipped through your folds, coming down to circle your slit in impossibly light figurations.

“Shit,” he panted, grip on your waist suddenly bruising, as he tried to steady himself. “You’re so wet, baby, you like Seokminnie that much?”

“Yeah, I do,” you nodded blindly, your own hands coming to grip onto his thighs. His middle finger danced upwards and pressed against your clit, and you immediately squeaked and shut your legs around his hand.

“No, no, baby, don’t do that,” he frowned, hand that wasn’t buried in your pussy spreading your legs again. You felt how his legs, pressed against you, came to hook onto yours, forcing your legs apart with his own strength. He hummed in content.

His finger pressed onto your clit again, and he felt how your legs tensed, straining against his to close. Your back arched and you moaned, eyes squeezed shut. He began rubbing it, and it was so intimate, how close you were to him, how his hand navigated your sopping wet pussy, fingers just rubbing you gently, and how bare you were, his eyes training over your bouncing tits when you thrashed.

His fingers moved downwards again, gathering the wetness that was gushing out of you. Then, one long middle finger pushed into you. Canting into his hand, you moaned loudly and turned your head into his neck. Nosing the tan skin and inhaling his faint cologne, you began mindlessly kitten-licking the skin. His Adam's apple bopped under your tongue.

“You’re so tight,” he rasped, beginning to slowly push his finger in and out of you. His other hand had come to wrap around your waist in an attempt to calm the sudden bucking of your hips against his hand.

His hand moved faster, obscene, wet sounds coming from your ruined underwear, where he worked diligently into your pussy. He slipped another finger in, and you cried from the stretch. It was becoming hard to contain you, thrashing and writhing against his hold, stuck between wanting to move closer and to move away entirely. His fingers tied a knot in your stomach.

“That’s right, pretty, tell me how good Minnie’s fingers feel,” he whispered hoarsely above your ear. You could almost only whine and moan, nipping at his neck a little. “Tell me or I’ll stop,” he warned.

“Feels so good!” you whined immediately, because if he stopped now, you figured you might start crying. “Feel so, so, so good, fuck, Seokmin, I’m-”

“I know, baby, I know, but I’m teaching you, right?”

Though your mind was fuzzy, you sensed what these words meant and panicked, hand coming down to grip his wrist in an attempt to hold him in place. “Please, please, please, Seokmin, don’t stop, please, don’t stop!”

“Don’t talk back to me, sweetheart. I won’t stop, just talk to me. Tell me what you feel me doing,” pushing your head up again, Seokmin pressed his face against your cheek, so hard, you felt his humid pants against it.

Your mind was so hazy, so transfixed on the feeling in your stomach and his finger in your pussy, you could hardly respond.

“Tell me or I’ll stop, baby,” he reminded you again, and you scrambled frantically to focus.

“Nngh! You’re- pushing in and out-” your voice broke, hips stuttering against his hand, that was continuing its remorseless pace.

“Yeah, and?”

You furrowed your brows, lips trembling. “You’re- you’re curling them- A-ah!”

“That’s right. Such a good girl. So smart and clever for me,” Seokmin whispered happily, his other hand slipping down your stomach to circle your clit. Both his hands working pleasure into your pussy, you cried out loudly, head pushed back into his chest.

“Just let go, baby, I can feel you clenching on me so hard. Wan’ me to stay in your pussy forever, hm? Just let go, cum whenever you want, wanna see your pretty face so bad,” somehow Seokmin was just as intoxicated off of lust as you, despite staying, hard and untouched, in his pants. But he babbled mindless praise to you, and you came to his sweet voice whispering in your ear.

Your orgasm sent you hurdling over the edge - the edge, the one you’d been standing at hopelessly for years. You flew across it and landed on Seokmin’s territory; in his arms.

“Seokmin, a-ah!” you cried, releasing all over his fingers, coating them in your cum. Your entire body arched upwards, as you moaned into the night. Seokmin rode you through your high, pressing sweet kisses into your hair.

You fell limp against his body, worn out, when he finally retracted his fingers from your pussy. You snuggled into his sweater with a content hum.

Seokmin smiled down at you, eyes brimming with fondness, as his cum-slicked hands wrapped around your torso in a hug, holding you into him. “You did so well,” he whispered genuinely.

You looked up at him with a tired smile. “Thank you, Seokmin.”

He held himself back from saying he would do that a thousand times over, in fact, he wouldn’t mind never pulling out - he could live with only one hand. Instead, he pressed a kiss to your forehead and whispered: “Of course, darling.”

Your brows furrowed and you pulled yourself away from him a little, eyeing the tent in his pants worriedly. “Do you want me to-”

“No,” he shook his head decidedly. “No, I’ll take care of it.”

You looked at him with big, innocent eyes, that only furthered the throbbing of his cock. Partially, he wanted to give in so badly. The thought of your hand around his cock, all pouty and innocent and confused, and how heavy it would be in your small hand, had made him cum more times than he’d like to admit. But, he reminded himself, this was about you. This was a favor. “Are you sure?” you asked softly.

“Yes, baby, go to bed. I’m gonna go get you some fresh clothes.”

You snuggled into bed while Seokmin scurried away to fetch a shirt and some boxers, and when he came back you cooperated limply in taking off your panties, and putting on what he’d given you. You fell asleep in his bed, cuddling his duvet, and surrounded by his scent.

Seokmin watched you in adoration. How peaceful you looked, chest rising and falling, and a little pout on your lips.

He wandered through the house, trying simultaneously to get as far from you as possible, and also trying to decide which of his housemates he currently hated the most. He landed on Jeonghan, slipping into his empty room and settling himself on the bed.

There, he fisted his solid fucking cock and bucked into his own hand, eyes squeezed shut to remember how you looked under his hands, how you begged for him, how well you listened, what a good girl you were for him. His moans were trembling and muffled by his own hand, and when he came, he felt momentarily smug, looking at how it dripped over Jeonghan’s sheets (served him right). Then, post-nut clarity sank in, as he reentered his own room and cuddled into you on the bed.

He felt almost despicable. He felt gross and evil and perverted and lewd, not because of you, but because, as if it were his first time realizing it, he remembered that you were Vernon’s sister. He remembered that he had promised to protect you from manipulative guys and always watch over you, and help you if you needed help, and report to Vernon if you were acting weird. Yet here he was, letting you cum on his hand and groping your tits, as if he was still that teenage boy with that swanky bowl cut.

After an hour of chewing on his lips and frowning, Seokmin let your sweet perfume lull him to sleep. He dreamt of you. _____________________________

There’s a blissful instant that morning when you wake up, curled into Seokmin’s arms, head nuzzled in his chest. There’s a blissful instant when you tilt your head, staring at his sleeping face, and he’s so beautiful, features all soft and breathing rhythmically. There’s a blissful instant where you see him, and your heart weeps in your chest because he’s so gorgeous.

Then it’s gone.

A panic button is pressed in your head, and your nerve-endings, each one resting on him, begin burning. What had you done? Yesterday feels like a faraway dream, but he’s still wearing that sweater and it grounds you in the reality of what had happened.

You’re lost. What did this mean for the two of you? Was Seokmin just lusting after you? But that couldn’t be right, you thought, because he’d insisted on only helping you, refused your offers to help him, which now was making you rot in his arms with guilt. Was this genuinely an attempt to help you? To be diligently by your side at the request of your brother? But surely this had been outside of the realm of what was acceptable to help your best friend’s baby sister with? Did that mean he liked you?

Seokmin awakened from your sudden squirming, as if, with enough shaking and turning, that feelings and thoughts would just fall out of you. They didn’t, they stayed right where they were, and all you were given in return was Seokmin’s eyes fluttering open.

You watched him go through that same process; the bliss came first and then the panic. Seokmin’s eyes went from adoring to wide and grave and suddenly he was shuffling away from you on the bed, creating a cool distance between you on the landscape of his mattress. You didn’t miss the pink dusting his cheeks.

“Uh- good morning,” he mumbled, and he could only look at his hands. Your throat was unbelievably dry. “Morning.”

You’re not sure how you both managed, but you went through that morning without mentioning the previous night even once. The air was thick with tension, fleeting glances, and shaky hands, while Seokmin made you both bowls of oatmeal. You stood on the other side of the counter in his shirt and his boxers.

You ate in his bed. It was silent and heavy and each clink of spoons against the bowl-rims had you both wincing. He put on a TV-show and you sat across from one another, chewing wordlessly to some drama in the background. Your belly was pooling with tension and light cascaded onto you, revealing your pores and flaws. Were you a bad person?

Finally, finally, Seokmin put down his spoon with yet another clink, fingers catching the bridge of his nose and eyes squeezing shut. He huffed into the palm of his hand, swallowing the oatmeal hard.

“Uh-” he began and his voice cracked, “Y/n. About last night-”

But you cut him off, and he couldn’t ever, even in his wildest dreams, have imagined that these words would come out of your mouth:

“I want to return the favor.”

The words were almost spat and discarded, as if they’d been sitting on the tip of your tongue all morning with a foul taste, and you’d only now been able to rid yourself of it. Seokmin snapped his head towards you, a genuine surprise on his face, but he soon wished he hadn’t looked at all.

You were so pretty, sitting cross legged in his shirt and a blush creeping up your neck and cheeks all shiny in the morning sun. And there was this innocence to your eyes, big lashes shadowing it only a little; this earnestness that told him you really, really wanted to do this for him.

“I-” he chuckled a little, heart clenching at your sweetness, “I can’t ask you to do that.”

“Well, it’s good that I’m asking you then,” you said, and though the comment was witty, when Seokmin looked at you again, he saw how careful you looked, and how unsure you were of yourself.

“Listen, N/n,” he reached out to grab your hand, and it was burning into yours, each area of adjoined skin screaming at you with reminders of last night. “You don’t have to do that. I just wanted to make you feel good, I was happy to just be of service to you-”

“But I want to make you feel good,” you pouted, almost brattily. Seokmin’s gentle expression and tone faded into something darker, as his eyes flitted down to your exposed legs and your heaving chest. He swallowed, putting away his bowl of oatmeal and collecting himself.

“Are you sure? You need to be absolutely 100% sure-”

“I’m sure, Minnie. I want to-” you broke off your own words with a squeak, face becoming bright red. You leaned in self-consciously, as if to tell him a secret: “I want to suck your dick.”

Your whispered admittance had him groaning, groaning at how sweet and innocent your voice was, how you couldn’t even say it loudly, you had to whisper the dirty word to him. He wanted you so badly, wanted to be the one to take away your innocence, to make you all dirty and beg for him, to make you thrash and whine and to teach you how to really feel good. He wanted you.

It’s like a switch had flipped, when Seokmin put his hand on the back of your head, and suddenly you were kissing again. The tension from before was replaced with something wholly different, something hot, something laced in the eye contact he gave you, before he leaned it again.

And Seokmin was kissing you with a fervor that you recognized from yourself - you both wanted to forget. Wanted to forget Vernon, who, although a great brother and friend, had become a heavy strain on your relationship with Seokmin. So you kissed him and let his tongue in your mouth when it swiped over your bottom lip, and you sucked on it, and you let him and yourself get lost in each other.

The sound of smacking lips and saliva was so lewd too, especially when Seokmin’s hand pulled you from your spot on the bed and into his lap, hands roaming your body, while you tangled into his hair. He was half-moaning into your mouth by the time he pulled away, face flushed and eyes darker and lower and lips swollen red.

“You gonna let me use that pretty mouth, baby?” he whispered against your lips, one hand palming over his cock through his boxers. You nodded, almost desperately, one hand reaching out to his in his lap. “Can I touch it?”

Seokmin smiled fondly, looking down at where your small hand was outstretched towards his cock. “Yeah, baby, go ahead.”

You were a bit clumsy at first, but soon enough you found its outline in his black boxers and you squeezed it a little. Seokmin crooked over, groaning into your shoulder. You felt him get harder and harder against your palm, a small smile at the desperate noises he was making.

Seokmin had laid his cheek on your shoulder, neck twisting to stare up at you, while you focused solely on touching him, and he hated himself for getting even harder because it was you - you, who he had wanted for so long, who he was hugged into and lying on, while you touched his warm cock.

“You’re so pretty,” he whispered, breathing heavily, and then smiling brightly when you became all sheepish, smiling and looking away, so that you had to pause your actions. He nosed into your neck, regaining some semblance of control over the situation, now that you weren’t touching him, and his breath was warm and humid on your skin. He pressed small kisses up to your jawline, nose flattening against you.

“So, so pretty. Fuck, imagining you with my cock in your mouth, all drooling and shit. Fuck, baby, you gonna let me fuck your mouth?” he rambled, hands finding home on your tits again. You whined and nodded, trying to pry him off of you. Immediately (forever struggling with a little concern that you might’ve changed your mind) he pulls away, looking up at you worriedly.

“Don’t- don’t touch me, I don’t wanna get.. All hot,” you whispered those words that he had said last night, biting your lip in worry. “I want to do it now.”

Seokmin melted completely, and in a complete inability to contain his adoration, brushed hair out of your face and pressed a million kisses to your cheeks and your nose. “Okay,” he said in between kisses, and you felt his smile on your skin, “okay, baby. But if it gets too much, tap my thigh three times, okay? If you need anything, if you feel uncomfortable.”

“Yes, yes,” you huffed, pushing yourself away from him and hopping onto the floor, sinking to your knees before the bed.

It felt completely unreal - to both of you. How you were suddenly on your knees and how he settled in front of you, bare, thick thighs on either side of your head. Everything was all light and all the places he’d kissed and touched had become holy and glowing on your body. He shimmed his boxers off and you gaped at the sudden exposure of his dick.

He was hard. Apparently the kissing and groping had been enough, because it slapped against his sweater, leaking silky white liquid from the tip. And he was big - you didn’t exactly have a good point of reference, but you vaguely sensed from Giselle’s words that this was quite a feat.

And actually seeing it brought a wave of uncertainty on you, not as to whether or not you wanted to do it, but how. So, you blinked up at him with a small frown, voice small when you spoke: “Seokmin.. How- how do I do it?”

Seokmin practically glowed with adoration, when he petted your head and rubbed your cheek, seemingly so comfortable despite being totally bare. “You just put your lips around it and suck, baby, it’s easy,” he said softly, then added, a little panicked: “And be mindful of your teeth.”

“But it’s so big,” you marveled, eyes trained on it, and he almost groaned at it, because you sounded so genuinely amazed, so disbelieving.

“Just put your hands around the parts you can’t reach. I’ll be gentle, baby, don’t worry,” he said. You nodded hesitantly, leaning forward towards it, but his hand in your hair suddenly clenched and pulled you back. You looked up at him and saw his eyes brimming with worry. “You do want this, right?”

“Yes, please, stop being so- so gentle with me and let me suck your dick!” You whined, fed up with being treated like glass, and tugged his hand out of your hair. Seokmin visibly relaxed at your insistence, nodding.

Finally, fingers grabbing the base of it, you wrapped your mouth around the tip. You were met immediately with the taste of his pre-cum, licking over where it leaked curiously. Seokmin’s hand found your hair again, gripping it tight to steady himself, as he groaned loudly. You slowly sank down, basking in the whimpers you ripped from his mouth.

“Fuck- you’re- you’re doing so good, baby,” he cried, face twisted in pleasure and head thrown back. You looked up at him and he was so pretty and glowing, panting into the air.

You sank down as far as you could, feeling the tip sit snug against the back of your mouth, and your hands wrapped around the base of his dick. You looked up at him, experimentally squeezing, and pursing your lips around his dick to suck it carefully.

“A-ah! Fuck!” Seokmin cried, hand that wasn’t in your hair squeezing the edge of his mattress. His thighs were flexing on either side of your head. “You’re- you’re so good at this, sweetheart. Good girl, fuck, such a pretty girl for me, letting me use you like this.”

You whined at his words, squeezing your thighs together. Seokmin’s hips bucked upwards at the vibrations, hitting the back of your throat. The sudden intrusion was unexpected and you let out a garbled moan around his cock. He panted regretfully: “S-Sorry, baby, d-didn’t mean to do that, you just feel so good. Can- can you bob your head up and down it for me?”

You did, started moving your head up and down his shaft, and breathing hard through your nose, while your hands squeezed the base of his cock. Looking up at Seokmin, you felt confidence that you were doing something right. He was in heaven, face all scrunched up and breathing as if he’d just ran a marathon.

And when he peeked his down to you, he could’ve cum immediately. Your pretty lips wrapped around his cock, head bopping with tears in your eyes from the pressure in your throat, and how curious and sparkling they were, gauging his reaction. The groan that clawed its way up from his heart, through his throat and out into his room quickly turned to a whimper.

“I’m- I’m gonna cum, sweet pea, can I-” he swallowed hard, because even the thought had him close to release. “Can I cum down your throat, pretty?”

You nodded, a little too preoccupied to answer, but Seokmin got it, and with just a couple more bobs, and the feeling of your wet tongue pressing against the underside of his cock, he spurted into your mouth in long ropes of white, whining at the top of his lungs, and pulling hair from the roots.

It was, admittedly, a little gross and sticky in your mouth, but it was also hot and you felt proud you’d made him feel good. He was panting, trying to recover, when you pulled off his dick, a satisfied smile on your face. His hand wandered to your face, caressing your cheekbone, before moving down to your puffy lips.

“Can I-” he was almost embarrassed, “Can I see baby? Can you open your mouth for me?”

A little confused, you did as told and opened your mouth, sticking out your tongue that was still covered in his sticky release.

“Fuck,” he groaned at the sight, squeezing his eyes shut and willing himself not to get hard again. “C-Can you swallow it for me, beautiful?”

Still confused, you nodded and gulped it down, trying not to look like it felt as gross as it did. If Seokmin noticed, he didn’t remark it, because he only groaned again, and pulled you by your face into a sloppy, heated kiss.

“So, so, so good for me,” he whispered, not letting you out of the kiss, even when saliva dripped down your chin. “Such a good girl, letting me use her mouth, such an obedient, good girl.”

You whined into his mouth at those words, bothered by the aching in your core that his moans and his blissed out face had caused, and now those words repeated over and over: Good girl.

He grinned into your mouth. “Yeah? You like being my good girl, right? Like doing your best for Seokminnie?”

“Yes,” you murmured breathlessly, too lost in the feeling of his mouth and his hands rubbing your waist to come up with anything better.

Seokmin pulled away with a warm smile, both hands coming up to cup your cheeks. “You did well,” was all he said, and you could genuinely cry, because that was it - you just wanted to know you did well.

“I’m gonna go clean up, okay?” he said, waiting for you to nod in response before he pushed himself off the bed, snatching a new pair of boxers from a drawer on his way out of the door.

You threw yourself on the bed, closing your eyes contentedly.

He liked you. You were sure of it now, when you thought back to how his eyes had balked at you so wonderfully, how careful and attentive he’d been. You were certain, and your heart smiled and you smiled and your hair was sprawled out on his sheets and for the first time, that desert wasteland in your head welcomed you and took you in, and you were right where you were supposed to be.

Until your phone started buzzing.

It was dancing across the sheets violently at someone's call and you peeked open one eye tiredly to pick it up. And when you did, the desert turned on you. Caught in a sandstorm, you held your phone between your fingers and felt your heart drop, lowered into the acid bath of your stomach.

It was Vernon.

Vernon, who was Seokmin’s best friend. Vernon, who was your brother. Vernon, who had always yelled at you to leave his room whenever he had Seokmin over. Vernon, who didn’t like when you talked to any guys at all, who had recruited his best friend to watch over you and take care of you. Vernon, whose best friend had just had his dick in your mouth.

You heard the shower running distantly when you clicked accept, hoping to God that you didn’t look too disheveled.

“Hi, N/n!” Vernon cheered immediately on the other end. His face popped up on your screen, a bright smile on his face. You smiled too - you missed your brother - but it was half faded, and Vernon noticed immediately.

“Hi, Vern,” you said softly. His brows furrowed. “What’s wrong?”

Of course, he could read you like a book. Of course, he knew that you were distant and nervous. You sighed heavily, trying desperately to collect yourself, to remember how you usually behaved, but for some reason, that you was far gone, and you had to be splayed on his screen, like a person replaced by something peregrine.

“I’m a little stressed out,” you mumbled. “Got a lot of papers and stuff, that’s why I’m not home.”

“Come home next break, okay? We miss you and you need to get out of that place every once in a while.”

You nodded.

Vernon’s eyes narrowed suddenly, and you saw him lean closer to the screen (which would have been funny, were you not suddenly wondering if there was leftover cum on your face). “Hey, where are you right now?”

“My friend,” you said quickly - too quickly. “Her name’s Yunjin, we’re working together in chem.”

Vernon hummed, seemingly content with your answer. “Your friend has the same bed sheets as Seokmin.”

Shit, yeah, they facetimed every week, you remembered, cringing at yourself for not thinking of it earlier. You tried to play it cool, shrugging: “Weird.”

“Yeah, anyway-”

Vernon rambled on and on about something or other, but you were unable to focus, watching the door to Seokmin’s room with a worried frown.

Moreover, you felt like a whore. Realistically, you hadn’t even lost your virginity. But sleeping with your brother’s best friend suddenly felt way more real now that you were talking to said brother, now that you were lying to his face, and you felt dirty and gross and you wished you could stand before Vernon, as the same baby sister that you had been before. But you weren’t. You were disgusting.

“Vernon, I gotta go,” you cut him off, and you hadn’t heard a word. Vernon’s excited expression dropped and he furrowed his brows.

“Are you okay?” he asked, and you thanked the pixels for concealing at least a bit of the worry on his face.

“Yeah, I just- I really need to get going,” you said. “Bye, Vernon!”

“By-”

You disconnected the call and gathered your things, put your own clothes back on. Throwing Seokmin’s clothes onto his floor felt like shedding a second skin - a skin that had made you ugly and greedy and lustful. You only kept his boxers on, lumping the dress over your shoulders to drape over you in an unsightly and unorganized way.

You spared a glance at the wrapped condom on his bedside table, long lost and forgotten by now. You could leave it. You could leave it and have a reason to come back, a reason to slip across that ledge again and fall into his arms and his mouth and his warmth. You almost did. Almost left it right there, where it begged to belong. But you snatched it off the counter, ignoring the way your heart clenched when you did, and slipped it into your tote bag. And you left, jumping across the border that separated you and back into your own wasteland. And it was so cold and so empty. You were alone again.

Seokmin came out of the shower, expecting to see you cuddled up in his bed, all soft and beautiful. But you weren’t there. Seokmin understood immediately. The condom was gone and so were you, only the perfume in his sheets remained, willing him to remember. And he cried. He sobbed into his own hands, because what had he done?

You did not see each other the rest of that day. Or the next day. _____________________________

Seokmin wanted to let you disappear. He wanted you to slip away and he wanted to forget it had even happened - like a burning star dies out and leaves only a faint warmth behind, lasting years. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t let you go, couldn’t bear knowing he’d never hold you in his arms again, never see you laugh again, never see you cum again. And he couldn’t bear knowing that maybe he’d read it wrong; maybe he’d made you uncomfortable, maybe you’d felt obligated.

So he texted you. For two days his texts came in sporadically and unsuccessfully. Questioning and pleading, he wanted to know it wasn’t true.

Lee Seokmin: why’d you leave?

Lee Seokmin: can we talk??

Lee Seokmin: i miss u

Lee Seokmin: i need to know i didnt hurt you

Lee Seokmin: can you please answer?

Each text came more painful than the last. Each text came more pleading. You sat alone in your room, in the dark, having only his one sided chats to light up your tear-streaked face.

Eventually they stopped coming. You thought they would. You thought, you knew, eventually he’d give up. But what hurt the most was knowing he wanted you too; knowing he liked you as much as you liked him. You’d seen it in his eyes, when his hand slipped between your legs, and you’d seen it when he came staring down at you.

But you preferred to remember Seokmin for how he was.

How he was small and young, how he had a swanky bowlcut and how he looked in his school uniform. How he and your big brother, Vernon, had bonded and watched movies together in your living room, and the countless dinners he’d stayed over for, always so respectful to your parents and you. You preferred to remember when he didn’t love you back.

The pain that had been tethered to your youth and to him, back when he was unreachable, just a figure you could marvel at, was so much duller compared to this pain, the one pulsed in your heart now: the pain of him loving you back, but still being off-limits. Something that could be, but was destined to die out. And it did, when he stopped texting you, you felt that unborn child’s soul leave your own. Alone again.

And then suddenly, you weren’t.

A stern knock on your door. You flinched at the sound, fearing the worst. You were in your bed, in your sweatpants and your sweater and that condom was on the bedside table, watching the door with you.

Another knock.

“Y/n, I know you’re in there!”

Seokmin. Of course, it was Seokmin. No one else would come for you. But it was all too painful. You feared the worst - feared that seeing him, you would collapse into him again, and that this time you wouldn’t be able to find your way back.

“Open the door, Y/n,” his voice was serious.

“Go away, Seokmin!” you yelled, voice breaking halfway.

A pause. When Seokmin spoke again, he was not angry anymore; he was vulnerable.

“Y/n. I-I know you don’t want to talk to me, but-” he paused, wincing at himself and you knew there was tears in his eyes. “But I need to know that I didn’t make you uncomfortable.”

You thought that you could handle the self-blame Seokmin omitted - maybe that’s just because it was words on a screen. But hearing him crying outside your door, and how real he was when his hand knocked vigorously, it tore down each and every one of your last defenses.

“I need- I need to hear that you’re okay and that I-”

“I’m opening the door,” you interrupted him, and sure enough you padded to the door and swiftly unlocked it.

And then you were standing before one another. It was like time stopped, how the air stilled around you, and how the world quieted down. He was all crumpled paper hearts, all deflated and broken, and his hair was messy and his eyes were dark, but they sparkled again, just at the sight of you, and yours at him.

“It’s not your fault,” you whispered, breaking the enchantment cast upon you. The real world came crashing down, the people in the streets and birds in the trees and wind coursing through the leaves. The light that you’d shut out with a firm tug to the curtains was dancing on your linoleum floor. “It’s my fault. It’s- I talked to Vernon and I- I feel like shit, Seokmin. I feel like a slut.”

“You’re a virgin!” Seokmin scoffed, but it did nothing to calm you.

“It felt wrong! Because I- because you’re Vernon’s friend. Because Vernon never likes when I date guys, and because now I’ve been fooling around with his best friend,” you defended yourself, biting your lip when tears stung your eyes. Seokmin softened. “I just felt guilty. And gross.”

“You’re not gross, you’re in love,” he said softly, and your eyes locked. Everything about him was pleading - he was just short of literally falling to his knees, begging for you to hear him out. “And- and with me, of all people!”

“Seokmin-”

“And I’m in love with you too,” his voice was an urgent whisper, not daring to let you speak again, to let you try and steer him away.

“Of all people,” you mumbled, a small smile finding your lips. Seokmin smiled too.

“So.. I’m tired of hearing you talk about yourself like this. I’m tired of Vernon being the one keeping us apart. I want- I want you to know that Vernon would understand.”

You shook your head dismissively. He wouldn’t.

“I know him too! You know? Maybe better than you,” he pouted a little, and it made you laugh, and everything was becoming lighter, and for better or worse you really did want to jump into his arms again. “He shouldn’t be the thing stopping you from dating me- or- or anyone, really. But especially me.”

You giggled again, and Seokmin’s heart palpitated in his chest at that sound - and at being the source of it. Then the laughter trailed off and your smile tightened and your heart tightened: “I just don’t want to sneak around-”

“Okay! Say no more!” Seokmin interrupted, hand held out as if to calm a mighty beast. He casually pulled out his phone, tongue in his cheek, as he called your brother. Vernon.

It rang for a few seconds, put on speaker. You couldn’t help the nervousness. Couldn’t help the pinch in your nerves, building up from your stomach and into your heart. Then he answered.

“Hey, dude, what’s up?” Vernon’s voice glitched on the other end of the line, utterly oblivious (as always). Seokmin spoke, hand on his hip: “Hey, just curious, how would you feel if me and your sister started dating?”

There was a moment of silence. On Vernon’s end, you imagined it was simply puzzled, but on your end, you stood with your heart all big and floaty, like a balloon in your hand, waiting for him to say that he’d hate it, that he’d kill him, and pop your heart with a simple word to prick. That wasn’t what he said though. Vernon said:

“I mean, yeah, man, I’d prefer you over any of those other college douchebags. I at least know you’d take care of her for real, man, not like that Jeonghan guy you were going on about.”

Your heart balloon took off, and the boundary between you and Seokmin filled itself with sand. Had it been imaginary? This whole time? You couldn’t help the wheeze you left you, overwhelmed with relief and joy.

“I know, man, Jeonghan’s the worst,” Seokmin said casually, but he was grinning from ear to ear at your reaction. You’d buckled over in silent laughter, unable to contain the glee. It seemed to dramatic now

“The worst,” Vernon repeated. Then he pursed his lips and spoke again: “So you’re dating my sister?”

“Uh, you know, I think we’re making it official in a second, yeah,” Seokmin said and even Vernon could hear the smile in his voice.

“Cool, man, yeah, I kind of figured, she facetimed me with your ugly ass bed sheets in the background, and I thought, no way, a girl would buy those bed sheets.”

“Lay off my sheets, man.”

Both of the men laughed and you did too, crying laughing and covering your mouth to contain. Your chest was fluttering with butterflies and light and love.

“Hey, man, for real, if you hurt her, I know where you live, bro,” Vernon was suddenly serious.

“I wouldn’t dream of it, man,” Seokmin responded, equally as serious now. He eyed you, then spoke into the phone again: “Hey, I gotta go make sweet love to your sister.”

“Ew, dude, don’t say tha-”

And the phone was hung up and Seokmin was laughing with you, eyes crescent and smile wide and toothy, and cheeks all red and shiny, he doubled over and took your hands in his. “I told you, didn’t I?”

“Shut up, Lee,” you said, pulling him by the hand and letting him kiss you. Letting yourself kiss him. Letting yourself back into his arms, and this time Seokmin had crossed the border, and had fallen into you, and you stood there together and you were in love.

So, so in love, your lips entangled and danced together, and your hands dragged up the back of his neck and his up your waist.

And you realized, his tongue in your mouth, this was how you preferred to remember Seokmin; completely and utterly in love with you, and dancing with you in your room, and smiling into the kiss, and hands running up your body. You preferred to remember him as yours, and yourself as his.

Seokmin guided you to your bed, pulling your body into his lap. Then he pulled away, completely out of breath, and smiling at you like a twinkling star.

“Think we can finally break open that condom now?”

“Fuck yes,” you said.

And then you did.

#dk x reader #svt dk x reader #lee dokyeom x reader #lee seokmin x reader #seokmin x reader #dk smut #seokmin smut #dokyeom smut #lee seokmin smut #lee dokyeom smut #svt smut #svt x reader #seventeen smut #seventeen x reader #svt angst #seventeen angst

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dyeher · 5 months

Text

WHAT DADDY DESERVES| NSFW

Includes: toji fushiguor x fem! reader

Warnings: age gap, shibari, smut, knife play, fear play, light humiliation, degradation, female identifying reader, vaginal fingering, cunnilingus, impact play [pussy and ass spanking], choking, face fucking, cum eating, edging, dacryphilia, cucking [sort of], creampie, overstimulation.

Summary: toji’s never been given a gift like this before. bless megumi’s little heart for knowing his daddy so well.

“What the hell is this?”

Truthfully, Toji couldn't say for certain what he expected when Megumi had announced after dinner that there was a surprise waiting for him in his home office. Maybe an expensive bottle of liquor, a new handgun, a cologne, a card, or nothing at all. Though the latter was more a self-deprecating expectation than anything else. Further, he didn’t think his son was capable of surprising him. Toji, up until this exact moment, had convinced himself that he had seen enough in his lifetime to ensure nothing would ever truly surprise him.

And yet, the sight of you- gagged and artfully tied in golden ribbons- kneeling next to his desk has left him stupefied.

“Megumi- What the fuck?” he gestures to your trembling body. “What the hell has gotten into you?”

“I see the way you look at her old man,” he can feel Megumi’s eyes on his back. “You can take what I’ve so graciously offered or you can look a gift horse in the mouth. Either way, she’s yours for the rest of the night.”

If Toji’s cock wasn’t one wrong move away from bursting the seams of his slacks he might have denied Megumi’s observation until he was blue in the goddamn face. You were too young, too beautiful, too innocent, too much of his son’s fucking girlfirend to be sitting next to his desk with nothing but literal scraps of fabric covering your...important parts. As it stood his cock was embarrassing him, and it wasn’t helping that he hadn’t looked anywhere but at you since he spotted you.

God but you were beautiful. Admittedly whether you were wrapped up like a christmas present or fully clothed Toji knows he’d still be staring at you, granted in the latter instances it would be easier to tear his gaze away from the wealth of exposed flesh, because there would be no exposed flesh.

“Be gentle with her, don’t get her pregnant, no anal,” Megumi says, and maybe Toji makes a sound of agreement because his son leaves after that, a mumbled ‘Happy Father’s day’ his parting words.

The slamming of his office door makes you jump, and the delicious jiggling of your breasts as a result leaves Toji reeling. You’re staring up at him with such open abandon that Toji slumps into the closest chair. Evidently, Megumi hadn’t forced you into these shibari knots, you’d gone willingly. Toji supposes there’s something to be said about the fact that his son knows his tastes well. From where Toji sits on the single arm chair in the room, he can spot one particularly aggravating knot that he loves. Nestled next to your clit, he imagines the knot is likely soaked from your constant shifting.

There’s something morally wrong with wanting to stuff your son’s girlfriend full of cock. Unless, your son gives you the green light and said girlfriend is looking at you like you’re her salvation. Then it’s a matter of self defense, because obviously the two have conspired to ruin his already crumbling mental factions and thus, as he stands and approaches you he convinces himself that he’s fucking you for the sake of defending those mental factions.

The gag is drenched and Toji doesn’t care that they’ll get saliva on the paperwork laid out on his desk, he has half a mind to rub the sopping material along the length of his cock before your mouth opens on an adorable ‘ah’ that makes his cock twitch in anticipation. First, he needs to get you out of these ties because he needs to feel all of you. He needs to feel every inch of glorious skin and he needs it like he needs his next fucking breath.

So he cuts you free of the looping material, doesn’t even bother to listen to your little huffs of protests as your hands spring free and then your legs, and then your breasts relax when the ribbon at the bottom and the top come undone. He pulls you to your feet and drags you to the chair he’d previously occupied. You follow after him, standing between his thighs as he cuts you the rest of the way free.

The knife grazes the inside of your thigh teasingly, Toji doesn’t need to cut that part- the part pressed achingly close to your clit- free he only needs to tug on the knot, but when your hands fly to his shoulders coupled with an adorable whimper and he looks up to find your lips parted, eyes glazed over he brings the knife higher.

Your breath hitches and Toji can’t swallow his surprised chuckle fast enough.

“You like playing with knives, angel face?”

Your response is a jerky nod that Toji’s sure you had no conscious control of. He flips the knife so the dull back of it drags along the inside of your thigh, when it reaches the soft, puffy lip of your pussy he has to wrap an arm around your waist to stop you from collapsing. He pulls it away and helps you onto his lap, pressing your back against the chair’s arm and draping your legs across his thighs and over the other arm.

“Tell me something,” he urges, the knife in one hand held away from your body and the other gripping the back of your neck to keep your face angled to his. “Do you want this?”

“Yes- yes sir,” you lick your lips nervously and Toji nods.

“And did Megumi force you to do this?”

You glance away. Toji’s entire body goes taught. If Megumi forced you to have sex with him, if he’s blackmailing yo-

“It was my idea,” you admit.

Toji blinks, unsure he’d heard correctly. “Say that again?”

“It was- it was my idea, Mr. Fushiguro.”

Toji takes a long look at the way you’re spread out for him, your skin dented where the knots were pressed against your flesh, covered in a thin layer of sweat that leaves you glowing under the harsh lights of his office. Your breaths come in quick harsh pants, your legs twitch with each breath and Toji’s certain the dampness of his slacks has nothing to do with the fact that his cock is leaking into his boxers.

Toji wonders for one insane second what he could have possibly done to deserve this kind of gift. As far as he was concerned he was a mediocre parent at best. Love could really only provide so much emotional cushioning before it wasn’t enough. Not to mention his constant absence from his kid’s life because of work. It didn’t make sense that Megumi would give him something as precious as you. If he were a better man he would turn you down nicely, reassure you that it wasn’t that he didn't want you but it was just messed up. Thank the stars in the sky that he wasn’t a better man.

He glances down at you squirming in his lap and shuts off the part of his brain screaming at him to stop. He grasps a handful of your tits and squeezes gently, rolling the puckered nipple in between his fingers until your back arches off the chair arm. He drops the knife onto the end table next to him and uses that hand to drag down the center of your body as he sucks the nipple into his mouth.

“Oh,” you gasp.

His hand settles at the top of your pussy and he chuckles at your desperate whimper. He keeps it there as he switches to your other nipple. Toji takes his time, he operates on the belief that this is the only chance he’ll ever get to explore your body, to touch you however he likes without worrying about repercussions. So, as he sucks languidly at your nipples he rubs slow circles at the top of your pussy, right above your clit. A taste of what he could do. When you’re squirming so bad he’s forced to tighten his grip on you he finally pulls away from your chest he peppers kisses up your sternum, and along your throat until he reaches your lips.

“Are you sure you want this, angel face?” he asks.

“Yes- yes please,” you answer shakily.

“Good, you know what the stoplight system is?” Toji hides his excitement at your nod. “We’re gonna use that system, angel face. Remind me what it is?”

“Red means I want you to stop whatever you’re doing, yellow means slow down because what we’re doing is making me feel a little uncomfortable, green means I’m okay with whatever you’re doing and I think you should continue.”

Toji smiles, “Just about. What’s your colour right now?”

“Green,” you pant, wiggling so your ass settles between his legs on the chair. Toji is momentarily distracted when you brace the soles of your feet on the chair arm and your legs butterfly open. He catches a glimpse of slicked pussy lips as they part, strings of your arousal connecting them to each other.

“Good,” he answers absently and then he’s dipping his fingers into your messy little cunt. “So fucking wet,” he glances up to find your eyes glued to where his fingers have disappeared between the lips of your pussy.

He drags two fingers along your slit, collecting and spreading your cum up to your clit where he rubs light circles around it. Your responding whimper goes straight to his cock. He pulls his fingers away and with his eyes trained on yours he sucks your cum off his fingers. Your eyes widen adorably and Toji ducks to kiss you.

It dawns on him, when your lips part immediately under his, warm and soft and compliant that his son has probably fucked you under this roof. He uses the kiss as a distraction as he reaches for his knife. He flips it so the blade is facing him and gingerly runs the handle along the inside of your thigh.

Your body jerks.

“Easy,” he murmurs against your lips. “I’m not going to hurt you. Okay?”

Toji watches you struggle to regulate your breathing, but you’re shaking so bad it’s a little concerning. When you manage to squeak out your affirmative he leaves a chaste kiss to your mouth and turns his attention to his knife and your pretty pussy.

“I have to ask,” he starts conversationally, as the handle continues to climb the sensitive skin. “Why this and not something uh...normal?”

“What?” you ask dumbly.

He chuckles. “Well, Megumi could’ve gotten me a blank card and I’d have been grateful-” he stops just before he reaches your pussy lips again and flips the knife around so the blade is pressed flat against the inside of your thigh, “-but you suggested this-” he drags his eyes along your exposed body, “-so I’m asking you why this?”

You gulp when the blade bumps into your labia. “I- I don’t-”

Toji presses the blade flat against your cunt, covering one labia entirely.You inhale sharply, your limbs locking as you struggle not to close your legs around the knife. The cool press of the blade against the heated flesh causes goosebumps to erupt along your skin. He waits as you exhale slowly. He doesn’t move, just stares at you expectantly.

“Well? You still haven’t answered, angel face.”

“I don’t- I don’t know,” you stutter, your body trembles with the effort it takes not to move less the knife cuts you.

“I think you do,” Toji tuts. “You must, because I’m sure you’d have to convince Megumi somehow and you couldn’t have convinced him if you didn’t know.” He pulls the knife away and slaps at your cunt with it before pressing it back to your labia. “Try again. Why this?”

Tears gather at the corner of your eyes and Toji can just make out the way your pulse is pounding at the base of your throat. “I- I wanted to- I wanted to fuck you,” you answer. “Meg- Megumi- Megumi can’t say no to me.”

Toji freezes. “Who else?”

“Mr. Fushi-”

“Call me Toji. Now answer the question.”

The knife presses harder against you and your body twitches, the tears spill over and a half sob breaks free as you scramble to grab onto his arm.

“Who else has my son let you fuck, angel face?”

“Satoru-”

Toji pulls the knife away from your pussy and presses it to your throat. “You’re a little whore aren’t you?”

You gulp, your breaths stuttering out of you. You can only stare wide eyed up at Toji, the reality of your situation sinks into your gut like lead. This man kills people for a living and now you’re naked and spread eagle on his lap with a knife pressed to your throat all because you’re a horny little shit. You should’ve listened to Megumi. This was a bad idea. And yet, even as the knife presses deeper against your throat, your legs trembling and your heart racing, you don’t know where the arousal ends and the fear begins. Your body, that traitorous bitch has your nipples pebbling and your pussy leaking.

“You think I’d fuck your little pussy now? Knowing you’ve been giving it to anyone who makes your panties damp?”

You find yourself frowning deeply, your bottom lip wobbling at his words. “I- I’m not-”

The knife vanishes and fingers appear at your cunt, dragging through the mess you’ve made. Toji grins wolfishly. “Your cunt says otherwise, angel face. You’re wet and messy. Your pussy is sloppy and I haven’t even fucked you yet.”

“Please- I’m sor-”

Toji laughs. “You’re not sorry yet, but you will be. Can’t believe my son’s dating a little slut like you. Can’t believe he’s letting you take advantage of him.”

You hiccup, your eyes blurring with tears as he sinks two fingers into you abruptly, his pace is harsh and unrelenting and when you try to grab onto his wrist he pins your arms to your stomach with his free hand. The lewd sucking sound your pussy makes as he moves his fingers in and out coupled with the way his fingers twist inside you, searching for something are enough to have your eyes rolling into your head. You’re almost to the edge when he pulls away.

“No!” you cry out, hips jerking up in search of his fingers. “To- toji please.”

“What’s your colour, angel face?”

It takes you a moment to understand what he’s asking. “Green, so green, please- please touch me-”

The knife returns and you’re so stunned you don’t react as he uses the dull back of the blade to drag along your cunt, you watch liquid pool on the blade before Toji brings it up to your lips.

“Taste yourself, but be careful, wouldn’t want you to hurt that pretty mouth before I use it.”

You latch onto his wrist, holding him steady as you run your tongue along the blade, licking up your cum.

“Fuck,” Toji grunts. “Such a good little slut.”

You keen and he drags the tip of the knife from the space between your breasts to your clit. Goosebumps follow the cool metal until the hairs on your body are standing on end. You tense when the tip brushes against your clit.

“Toji?” you lick your lips when he circles the sensitive nub. “What- what are-”

“Shh, it’s okay,” he coos. “I’m not gonna hurt you, remember?”

You nod dazedly, “Okay.”

“I’m a little upset though,” Toji sighs. “And disappointed. Here I was thinking you were a good girl. You really had me fooled.” The knife makes another circle around your clit and you whine. “Megumi’s too blind to see what you really need,” the knife disappears again, “a little punishment.”

You’re not prepared for the harsh slap that lands on your cunt. Toji’s hand is heavy and the stinging spreads from your clit all the way up your torso, your body bows. Another two echo in the room coupled with your helpless cries, you have no doubt Megumi can hear them.

“What do you think, angel face? Ten on your slutty cunt? And then another ten on your ass?”

You can barely form a coherent sentence as you attempt to disagree, but Toji ignores you, and another harsh smack has you breaking out in a full body shudder.

“I’m sorry- I’m sorry,” you slur. By the seventh slap you’re sobbing outright, but your cunt is soaked, the final three slaps are lewd and the tacky sound of Toji’s palm against the wet lips of your pussy would have been embarrassing if you had the presence of mind to feel embarrassed.

“Good little slut,” he chuckles, releasing you to flip you onto your stomach across his thighs. “Colour, angel face?”

“Green, ‘m green,” you hiccup. “‘M sorry, ‘m sorry, I’ll be good, I’ll be go-”

You’re babbling as Toji caresses your ass. He massages into the flesh gently, until your babbling dies to a low whimper, and then the first slap makes you jump. Toji groans, “If you take your punishment like a good girl, maybe I’ll make you cum.”

You shut up instantly, muffling your cries by chewing on your lips. Each slap seems to get harsher, harder. He’s on the fifth slap when the babbling starts anew, Toji ignores you as he continues his spanking. You lose count at some point and only realize he’s stopped when he dips two fingers into your pussy from behind. You inhale sharply, a sob of relief bubbling out of you as he curls his fingers into your walls, he adds a third finger and your body hums happily. You’re so close you’re drooling, your lips parted as you pant out thank yous. Just as you’re about to cum he stops and you scream in frustration.

“Oh, angel face,” Toji mocks. “Did you really think your punishment was over?” He maneuvers you onto your knees in front of him. “You haven’t even sucked my dick yet.” He frees his cock from his slacks and your body lurches forward as soon as it bobs free. Thick and long, and wet with precum, your mouth waters at the sight of him. Briefly, you note that Megumi’s cock is eerily familiar. “Open up,” he instructs, slapping the thick length of it along your cheeks, and smearing his precum along your lips.

The weight of him as he slides onto your tongue and bumps into the back of your throat is so satisfying that your eyes roll. He’s nothing like Megumi. Where your boyfriend would give you a moment to adjust, to take the reins and suck him off however you like his father is not so patient. He cups your face with one big hand, his fingers splayed out on your neck and his thumb pressing your lips open and fucks your throat harshly. Spit layers on his cock from each thrust into your throat, it fills your mouth until there’s nowhere to go but out and onto your chin and chest. Strands of saliva decorate your lips and his cock each time he pulls out far enough for you to breathe.

“God, yes, just like that,” he grunts, as though you’re doing anything other than struggling to keep your throat relaxed and oxygen in your lungs. “Open your eyes.” You do, though you can’t say when exactly they slipped shut. Watching Toji as he grappled to keep his self-control was one thing but watching as that self-control snapped was awe inspiring.

He yanks you off his cock and pulls you to his desk, “Colour?”

“Green,” you croak, throat raw and pulsing from its use.

“Thank fuck,” Toji mand handles you onto his desk easily, he pushes you down and spreads your thighs wide enough for him to fit his wide shoulders. He pauses to take you in, sprawled on his desk, bare as the day you were born. His grip on the back of your knees tightens as he pushes them open and back. “Here’s how the rest of this is gonna go, angel face,” he licks his lips, eyes trained on your cunt. The attention makes you squirm, your hole clenching around nothing as he continues. “I’m gonna shove my face in this pretty pussy and eat until you’re begging and then I’m gonna fuck you until you can’t remember your own name. How do you feel about that?”

You gulp, “I think- I think that sounds good.”

He glances up the length of your body as he lowers his mouth to your pussy. You watch, transfixed as he flattens his tongue to your slit and drags it from your hole all the way up to your clit where he leaves a soft kiss. His eyes close as though he’s savoring the taste and then he ducks to your pussy and spreads your thighs wider.

Toji eats you out ravenously, like he’s never had anything more exquisite in his life and he doesn’t know if he ever will so he’s eating his fill now. He eats you like a man starved, like a man who was fasting for a long, long time who has finally been given reprieve. He sucks each labia tenderly, laps at each puffy lip with his tongue, kisses and caresses each one. Drags his tongue along your slit teasingly at first and then hurriedly when your moans grow louder. He brushes soft kisses onto your clit and then licks teasing circles around the sensitive nub before suckling on it until you’re twitching in his hold.

When your body begins to tremble violently he pulls back to bury his nose between your folds and inhales deeply. And then he starts the process all over again, helping you up the slope of your orgasm and just when you’re about to crest he pulls back, leaving you to stumble back down. He doesn’t use his fingers and by the time he’s satisfied with how drenched you are, half of his face is damp and sticky with your cum.

When he presses a kiss to your ankle you feel the stickiness of your arousal and when he leans forward to kiss at your knee and then your stomach and sternum and suck each nipple into his mouth you feel the residual dampness of it on your body. When he kisses your mouth, teasing your tongue with his own, licking and biting at your lips you taste yourself on him and it heats your blood, has you reaching up to slide your fingers into his hair and hold him steady as you lick the remnants of your pussy from his face until your mouth latches onto his once more and he releases your knees to wrap your thighs around his waist.

He kisses you as he sinks the fat head of his cock at your entrance. Shoves his tongue into the back of your throat to drown out your surprised cry as he bottoms out in one rough thrust. He pulls you to the edge of the desk and cups your ass with one hand as he spreads his thighs and begins to fuck you. Short, quick thrusts that stir his cock along the softest part of your walls. You think for a brief moment as he’s fucking you with his tongue and his cock you hear the voice of some divinity telling you this is what heaven may feel like if you’re good throughout your life. But then he’s rearranging you to prop your legs on his shoulders and bracing himself against the desk to fuck you in slow deep thrusts and then you’re not sure of anything. Not if you’re breathing, or if he’s kissing you, or if you can feel your legs, because his cock is dragging along parts of you, you didn’t even know existed. Parts of you that have you drooling pathetically, the muscles in your body going soft and pliant under him.

He switches positions again, you think, because your orgasm slams into you with the force of a tsunami, and by the time you recover from screaming Toji’s name your back is pressed to his bare chest and a hand is wrapped around your throat while the other rubs at your clit. You barely recover from the first orgasm before Toji is demanding more from your body. His grip on your throat holds you steady and his other hand moves to squeeze roughly at your breasts and run up the length of your body. He tugs on your throat and your back bows until your head is tilted back and you can see that sweat has matted his hair to his forehead, his eyes are closed in concentration but you’re sure he can your harsh breathing and the loud slapping of damp skin on skin as his thighs smack against yours, his hips cradling your ass with each thrust.

You may have been about to say something about how good he looks like this. Head bent forward, expression fierce as he focuses on pummeling your insides but Toji reaches for something on the desk and suddenly his hand is replaced by the cool metal of the blade of his knife.

“Fucking cum,” he growls in warning. “Cum right now.”

You cum so hard your knees give out, and with a delirious sound like a garbled mix between a laugh and a scream. You forget our name. You forget where you are, how you got here, whose cock is inside you, as the orgasm washes through you, the pleasure drowning your senses and reducing you to a mass of nothing but sensation. Your eyes roll so far back you feel a moment of pain as the organs are stopped by the muscles. Your mouth parts on a silent scream, all the oxygen leaving your body in a single exhale.

“Fuck,” Toji groans. “Oh fuck, yes, good girl, oh- fuck-” Your insides flood with warmth and somehow Toji filling you with his cum sets of another orgasm in the middle of your orgasm. Your mind shuts down entirely.

Toji stares at Megumi, standing on the other side of his bedroom door, a scowl on his face as he tries to peep over his father’s shoulder. Sometimes it unnerves him how much of himself he sees in his son.

“You looking for someone?” Toji asks, propping himself against the door frame and crossing his arms across his chest.

“Where is she?” Megumi asks.

“She’s asleep,” Toji shrugs. “And she’ll stay asleep until I think she’s rested.”

Megumi finally looks at Toji, his scowl melting into a frown. “Why can’t she sleep in my room?”

“Did you fuck her to sleep Megumi?” Toji squints mockingly.

Megumi purses his lips, eyes narrowing on his father. He steps back and Toji straightens away from the door frame.

“I feel you should know that...the next time you let her fuck someone that isn’t you-” he points at Megumi’s chest, “-or me, I’ll be forced to do something reckless,” Toji says.

Megumi looks stricken for a moment. “I don’t let her do anythin-”

“Do you want to walk around with the weight of a man’s life on your conscience Megumi?”

Megumi gulps.

“Exactly, keep her away from other men or them away from her, I don’t care. Do what needs to be done to keep them alive and me happy kid, and if she ever gives you any trouble you know where to find me.”

The door slams in Megumi’s face and not for the first time that day does he stop and ask himself, “Did he really deserve it?”

@s4no @kenuis @audrinui

#toji x reader #toji smut #jjk smut #toji fushigro x reader #jjk x reader #jjk: beyablade!

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bloatedandalone04 · 2 months

Text

In The Way I Need You | Part 10

Series Masterlist

➪in which you start your first shift at jess’ after leaving clay’s house in tears, and a confrontation at work leaves you feeling a lot worse than before.

PSA: strongly suggested to read the warnings before proceeding.

WC; 3.5k | Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡

Clay watched you flee his house with tears in your eyes, and he couldn’t even question you on it before you were gone, your body covered back up by your dress from last night instead of his shirt.

He had no idea what happened in the three minutes he left you alone for, but apparently it was a lot. Only a few seconds passed by the time he made it to the front door to go after you, but when he looked outside, you were long gone.

You said you weren’t feeling well and that you needed air, but he was still confused as to why you didn’t let him take care of you. If you weren’t feeling up for that second date, then he would’ve happily let you lay in his bed all day until you felt better, but you fled before he could even offer that to you.

What happened?

His brows furrowed as he closed the door loudly and made his way back up to his room, planning on calling you, or at least texting you, as soon as he located his phone.

But as soon as he entered his room, that plan slipped his mind as his gaze narrowed onto the framed picture that was placed on his still unmade bed. Clay felt his heart drop as he neared the photo, a sick feeling creeping up his throat as he realized who it was of.

Clay picked up the picture of him and Sam that was taken on their wedding day, and he couldn’t even recognize the version of himself in the photo. It felt like so long ago, and he knew he was a very different person now.

The guy in the picture was a lovesick fool who missed every single warning sign and red flag Sam gave out. His twenty two year old self felt like a stranger now since he had been forced to grow up so quickly after Joey was born and Sam left him.

He wanted to laugh, because the second things had gotten good with you, Sam fucked it up for him without actually being there.

Where did you even find this picture? He couldn’t remember where he had put it after tearing his room apart of anything that reminded him of her, so what were the odds that you had found it?

Clay looked around and noticed one of the drawers in his dresser was open a bit, and when he pulled it open and saw an unfolded blue shirt thrown in there, he knew that was where you discovered it.

This was the drawer Clay barely went into as it was full of all his old tees he used to wear when he was in his late teens and early twenties. They were his vintage and graphic shirts, and the ones he didn’t wear often, so he truly didn’t remember putting the picture in there since he hadn’t opened the drawer in quite a while.

“Fuck,” he muttered as he picked up the shirt and and looked down at the photo. No wonder you suddenly didn’t feel good, Clay was beginning to feel sick, too, as he stared down at the smiles on his and Sam’s faces.

Young, dumb and naive Clay. How stupid can you be?

With a groan, he tossed the shirt onto his bed before turning the frame over and practically ripping the back of it off. He pulled the photo from the glass and tossed the frame aside, too, and without a second thought, he ripped it into countless pieces.

He knew he wouldn’t have been able to do that before he met you, but now that he’d had a glimpse of what life looks like with you, he never wanted to go back. He hadn’t even thought about Sam at all since he left her that final voicemail, and he hated the fact that you must think that he still loves her.

But that couldn’t be further from the truth.

The only part of her that he loves is the one he shares with her. The one that brought you and him together. His son; someone who he doesn’t even consider hers anymore.

Joey isn’t Sam’s. He never was. She brought him into the world, and then she abandoned him. No mother does that to their child.

As far as Clay was concerned, Joey was all his.

He throws the pieces of the picture into the garbage bin beside the dresser before looking around for his phone. He finds it on his nightstand next to his alarm clock with your sticky note on it, and his heart ached even more.

Without wasting a second, he picks his phone up and calls you. He sits down on his messy bed and tugs at his equally messy hair as it rings and rings, and he knows you probably won’t answer him for at least a few hours.

You were upset, and rightfully so.

“Y/n, I’m sorry,” he started when he was met with your voicemail, and he would’ve laughed at the fact that he is leaving someone else another pointless voicemail, but you weren’t just someone, and nothing was pointless when it came to you. “I didn’t realize I still had pictures with her around, and I hate that you found that. I swear, I would’ve never told you to grab some of my clothes if I remembered that it was in there. It wouldn’t even be in there anymore.”

He felt stupid calling you like this, but he needed you to know as soon as possible that he was over Sam and that she was no longer in the picture.

“Sam doesn’t mean anything to me. All she is…she’s just the person who helped bring my son into the world. That’s it,” he was rambling now and felt his chest tighten. It hurt a bit, and it felt like he was straining his heart, so he knew he needed to end the call and calm himself down. “I’m sorry. Please, call me back.”

He hung up after that and tossed his phone onto the bed before sitting down and running his hands through his hair.

How did he always manage to fuck things up? It was going great, you trusted him enough to let him pick you up after a night out, and your second date was a mere few minutes away from happening when you left in tears. Ones that he caused, more or less.

You were embarrassed as you turned off your phone, declining Clay’s second call to you since you left his house crying.

Sam was stunning, and now that you knew what she looked like, you could see the similarities her and Joey share.

You felt like an idiot and you were humiliated and feeling so insecure right now. A million doubts ran through your head and left it hurting, and your unrelenting tears definitely didn’t help.

Once you were home, you completely shut yourself off from everything and tried to focus on preparing for your first shift at Jess’ cafe. You wanted to check your phone and even wanted to see what Clay had said in his texts, but you also needed some time away from all that.

So you didn’t turn your phone on for the rest of the night, and by the time you entered Jess’ the next day, you still hadn’t powered it on. You didn’t have much time to use your phone as Jess would be starting your training any minute now, but you still didn’t want to completely cut Clay off. You decided that much after a whole day had passed.

You turn your phone on and click on his contact, but before you could read one of the four texts he sent you, Jess calls your name, and you have to put your phone away and begin training.

Around an hour passes before Jess allows you to continue your shift without her hovering over your shoulder. You had just taken your first order when your new coworker moved to get started on it. “Oh, you don’t have to do it for me,” you wave him off. “How am I supposed to learn if I don’t actually make the drinks?”

He just shakes his head with a grin, “The guy you took the order from is a regular,” he says. “Trust me; it’s best if I make his drink. If you mess it up even a little bit, he’ll ruin your whole day.”

“Okay,” you laugh and decide to let him take this one as you begin to wipe away the messy counter. “Good looking out.”

He smiled over at you as he made the drink and gave it to the guy you took the order from, his glare turning into a content smile as he sipped on it. “See? Told you,” he mumbled and you just shook your head, setting the cloth aside and beginning to change the coffee filters. “I’m Miles, by the way.”

You look over and see that he held his hand out to you. “Y/n,” you say and shake his hand. “I’m new, clearly.”

“I can see that,” he nodded and braced his elbows against the counter. “You new to the city, too?”

“Um, kind of,” you answer and wipe your hands on your brown apron. “I’ve been here for about a month now. Still getting used to all of it.”

Miles nods in understanding, giving you a boyish smile afterwards. He was cute, but not nearly cute enough to get your mind off Clay. Miles looked to be around your age, or maybe a bit older, and he had dark brown hair that covered his forehead, and from what you could tell, his eyes were a deep green. “Yeah, the city isn’t for everyone,”

You furrow your brows then laugh. “Oh, no, I’m not…I love it here so far,” you further explain. “It is a lot to take in, though.”

“Ah,” he nodded again and gestured to the customer on his side of the counter, politely pausing your conversation as he began taking the girl’s order.

You smile at him and turn to your side, and your breath gets caught in your throat when you meet Clay’s pretty blue eyes as he enters the shop. He briefly smiles but it falters as he nears the counter, guilt swimming in his gaze as he places his hands against the marble. “Hi,”

“Hi,” you whisper back and try to distract yourself by cleaning a nearby mug. An awkward silence fell over the two of you, and you hated every second of it. It was never awkward with Clay, and the sudden change had your face heating up as you avoided eye contact with him. “Um, do you want a coffee? Or a pastry?”

Clay sucked in a breath and shook his head. “No, I just,” he trailed off and you hesitantly met his eyes again. “I wanted to see you. Wish you luck, you know, on your first shift.”

He was dressed in what you think is his work attire - though it looked just as formal as his usual clothing - and your heart swelled a bit at the fact that he stopped by before work so he could talk to you, even though it was a bit out of the way from what you knew about where his job location is.

“Oh,” you say quietly and want nothing more than to throw your arms around him and kiss him right then and there. He was so sweet, you hated how tense things were between you right now. “That’s…nice, Clay. Thank you.”

Clay smiled at you but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. You wondered if he felt as miserable as you did, then you remembered you hadn’t actually read his texts, so you really had no idea on how he was feeling right now. “Yeah,” he murmured and his eyes held so much longing, you felt your own burn a bit. It looked like he wanted to ask you something, but he didn’t and instead said, “I don’t know if you read my messages or listened to my voicemail, but…I’m sorry about yesterday. If I had known…”

You tear your eyes away from his and bite down on your lip. “Yeah, I um…haven’t gotten around to checking my phone,” you confess and grip onto the edge of the counter as you feel your face begin to heat up. Glancing to your right, you can see Miles eyeing the two of you with a poorly hidden look of judgment on his face, and you could only hope he didn’t bring this up later.

Clay stayed silent and nodded. “Oh,” he said quietly and it somehow made you feel even worse. “That’s okay. Just, whenever you get the chance…I miss you.”

You bite down harder until you were sure you were about to make your lip bleed before looking up at him. You wanted to say it back, but you were still hurt and a bit stubborn and your emotions were a mess right now. “Do you need me to watch Joey later?”

His face falls a bit and he steps away from the counter. “Yeah, if you’re able to. If not I can call my-”

“No, I can,” you say quickly and give him a tight smile. “I’ll see you later then.”

Clay swallows hard and nods, giving you a so clearly forced smile and making your heart ache even more. “See you later,” he rasped and turned around, leaving the shop without another glance at you.

As soon as he was gone, you blew out a breath you didn’t know you were holding and turned your back to the rest of the shop as you pulled out your phone. It was nearly dead as you didn’t bother plugging it in last night, and you were seriously regretting that now as you finally allowed yourself to read Clay’s messages.

8:09 AM

Clay Beresford: I’m so sorry you found that, I swear I didn’t know I still had pictures of her and I around.

8:43 AM

Clay Beresford: Sam is not in our lives anymore, I promise. I care about you so much, and so does Joey. Please call me back.

1:19 PM

Clay Beresford: I understand that you need time, and I’ll give you as much as you need. Just know that she means nothing to me anymore, and she hasn’t for a long time now.

9:21 PM

Clay Beresford: Joey missed you today, we both did. I know you have your first shift as Jess’ tomorrow, but are you still able to pick him up from school after? I’m sorry again, Y/n. I never wanted to hurt you.

He’d been trying to apologize and explain ever since you left.

You felt your eyes sting again, and you brought your phone up to your ear after clicking on the voicemail. “Everything okay?” Miles asks as he hands a freshly made drink to a girl. His voice sounded a bit humorous, and you furrowed your brows at it but couldn’t call him out on it before Clay’s frantic voice met your ear.

Your lip was hurting now as you had gone back to biting it while you listened to his voicemail, and by the time it was over, you were sure you could taste a hint of metal on your tongue. “Fuck,” you whispered as you typed out a text to him with shaky fingers.

Miles coughed loudly next to you, and you lifted your gaze and glared at him. “I take it you and that rich guy are close?” He laughed and leaned against the counter with his arms crossed. “Or maybe you were but not anymore. He looked like a kicked puppy walking out of here, poor guy. But he’s not poor, right? He looks like he probably owns his own business or something.”

“Shut up,” you say before you could think it through. Your eyes widened and you opened your mouth to quickly apologize, but Miles just scoffs.

“Oh, come on. A guy like that has no business coming into a place like this. I bet he could buy this whole street if he wanted to, then he’d own us,” Miles continued and you forget your task of texting Clay back in order to defend him from your coworkers petty assumptions.

“And what if he could? What if he did? What would you do about it, Miles?” You ask with annoyance lacing your tone. You weren’t sure why he felt the need to assume all this stuff about Clay when he had no idea what he was actually like.

“I’d quit,” Miles answered with a shrug. “I don’t need some rich prick holding anything above my head.”

You drop your phone onto the counter loudly and move towards him. “Shut the hell up,”

Miles laughs again and it only irritates you further. “Make me,” he muttered. “Christ, Y/n, you don’t believe guys like that actually care about people like us, do you?”

“People like us?”

“Yeah,” he grunted. “Poor people. We don’t need the rich pitying us when they have it all at their-”

“Shut up,” you nearly yell and then realize you were literally in the middle of your first shift and getting into a heated argument with your new coworker you only shared one brief conversation with before this. The patrons looked over at you with wide eyes and quiet laughs, and you felt embarrassed for the second time this week.

You couldn’t say anything else, and neither could Miles, as Jess came in from the back room and glared at the two of you. “What is going on?”

Miles just raised his hands and turned back to another customer. “You hired a spaz, Jess,”

You opened your mouth to give him a witty remark, but Jess reached out and grabbed your wrist. “Hey,” she said and pulled you with her into the storage room. “What’s going on? You were doing great when I left you, and now I find you yelling at my best worker?”

You let out a surprised laugh, “He’s your best?” Jess raises a brow at you and you sigh before looking down at the floor. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” she said, slightly frustrated as she crossed her arms. “Just tell me what happened. Why were you and Miles arguing?”

You huff and meet her gaze. “You know that boyfriend I told you about at that bar? Well, him and I got into a fight or…something, and he came into the shop today and apologized and I stupidly pushed him away and I guess Miles decided he should assume all these things about him and I couldn’t just stand there and take it,” you explained as plainly as you could, not wanting your boss to completely know what’s been going on in your personal life. “I know it’s a dumb reason, but I couldn’t help it. I’m sorry, Jess, I promise I’m not like that all the time. I just got mad.”

Jess pursed her lips and nodded, her hard gaze dropping a bit. “So I missed seeing just how cute your boyfriend supposedly is?” She teased, lightening the mood and making you huff out a quiet laugh.

“He’s very cute,” you repeated your words from a couple nights ago, and you were reminded of the way Clay came out and picked you up before taking you back to his house and taking care of you. “Things are messy right now, and I’m sorry I allowed it to be brought into my work life. What happened with Miles won’t happen again.”

You shifted the conversation back to a more serious one, and you could tell Jess appreciated it by the way she smiled and nodded at you. “You better not,” she said sternly. “Because I like you, Y/n, and I want you to have a real chance here. Okay?”

Nodding quickly, straighten yourself out. “Okay,”

“Good, now get back out there,”

A few hours later, you successfully made it through your first shift and were currently listening to Joey ramble on about what he did at school in the backseat of Rick’s car.

You were nearly back to Clay’s place when Joey shifted and tugged at his backpack from its place on the floor. You reach over and help him, and once he grabs a piece of paper from it, you let it gently drop back down as Joey leans against the seat again. “I made this today,” he said and held the paper out to you.

Taking it from him, you’re once again almost in tears as you look at the drawing. Joey was getting better at drawing and coloring with each passing day, and his attention to detail at his young age was extremely impressive. This drawing was of you, Clay and Joey, with you being in the middle this time and the Beresford boys on either side of you. “Wow,” you say quietly, meeting Rick’s gaze in the rear view mirror. “You’re quite the little artist, huh, babe?”

Rick gave you a knowing look as Joey said, “Daddy and I like it when you’re at our house. You make things better,”

And then you were on the verge of tears for the second time today.

@evilnight07 @espinathena-17

#hayden christensen #hayden christensen imagine #hayden christensen edit #hayden christensen gif #anakin skywalker #hayden christensen icons #anakin skywalker imagine #anakin skywalker x reader #clayton beresford imagines #clay beresford imagines #clay beresford x reader #clayton beresford x reader #clayton beresford #awake 2007 #awake #clay beresford #in the way i need you #in the way i need you series

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kteezy997 · 3 months

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heyy, can u do one where timmy breaks up with the reader and she´s heartbroken, after a few months she realizes shes pregnant , but doesnt tell him anything (because shes still hurt and thinks he doesnt want her and the child anyhow) and one day they bumb into eachother randomly and he sees his nearly identical 3 yr old son and confronts her? you choose the endning mwuahhhh. btw i love ur writing

Daddy's Boy- Part One//t.c.

warnings: breakup, unexpected pregnancy, angst, fluff, cursing, i think that's it? This is a long one, grab a snack?

You were both young and dumb, and Timmy’s career was growing steadily at the time. He was taking on more and more movies, more commitments, and he straight up told you that he didn’t have time to be in a relationship anymore. He told he’d love you as long as breathed, and maybe one day you’ll find each other again, and you could be together.

You were heartbroken. You didn’t want to speak to him after the breakup, though he tried. It was too painful to even speak to him knowing that you couldn’t have all of him. You knew that cutting off contact cold turkey would be the best for you in the long run.

Just as your healing began, you missed your period a couple of months after the breakup with Timmy. You hadn't missed a period randomly before, so you decided to take a pregnancy test. You hoped that somehow it was only a fluke, and you weren't carrying a Chalamet baby.

Your hopes went out the window when two lines appeared on the tiny screen of the test. You were pregnant.

........

You gave birth to a perfectly healthy and beautiful baby boy. You named him Theodore, with a French flair as a secret nod to his biological father. Though you didn't ever reach out to Timmy, you hoped that the French name would be like a little clue as to who the boy was, if he were to ever come across him.

You were blessed with the support of your family who helped you in any way that you needed as a single working mom. They didn't have any harsh feelings toward Timmy, as he had no say in what the situation was. Your family stuck by you and your decisions.

You worked full-time and took care of Theo when you weren't on the clock. Any free time you had was spent with family and friends. You didn't have the time nor the energy to push yourself back out into the dating world. Besides, you knew that you had already experienced the love of a lifetime with Timmy. No one and nothing could compare to how you felt with him, and you were so in love with the son he gave you.

Theo was like his father in so many ways. He had Timmy's quirks and bubbly, goofy personality. He brought so much laughter and silliness to your life. Like his father, he was never boring. Theo was also sweet, thoughtful, and cuddly, even as a three-year-old.

As he got older, he started to realize that the other kids at his daycare had daddies that would pick them up at the end of the day. He mentioned to you that he felt sad about not having a daddy like the other children.

You told your sweet son that he did have a father, but he just couldn't be with him as he had to leave for his job. "But your daddy is a good man, and he loves you. Don't ever think that you aren't loved, Theo."

"Okay Mommy." your little one said with a shrug.

"Would you want to see some pictures of your daddy?"

Theo's eyes lit up and smiled widely, nodding immediately.

....three years later....

Holy shit. It was him. Timothee. You had taken your son out for a pastry while you got an afternoon iced coffee and you see your ex-boyfriend across the room, who also happens to be the father of said son but has no idea his son even exists because you haven't spoken in three years. What a day.

Your thoughts and heart were racing as you thought of the different ways that this could play out. You could grab Theo, and leave immediately, so as to no give Timmy a chance to even see the two of you. But that would be the shitty thing to do. To be honest, you have felt shitty for three years keeping Timmy's child away from him. You couldn't leave. You wondered if it was fate bringing Theo's father into his life, after all these years.

You decided to stay. You wiped some chocolate off of Theo's face, his sweet little face that was a carbon copy of Timmy. Your son had his father's eyes, nose, hair, body type, everything was all Timmy. Your own genes didn't even try when it came to making this child.

When you looked up and over Timmy's direction again, he caught your gaze. Your former lover's eyes widened at you, as he realized that the two of you were in the same vicinity.

"Mom, I know him! From the pitchers! That's my daddy!" your toddler's voice rang through your ears, and before you knew it, he got down from his chair, and started to run across the coffee shop.

"Theo!" you called after him, getting up immediately to catch him, but he was quick on his little legs. "You cannot run off by yourself!" Your heart was racing, you had never lost control of your little boy like this before, and you were worried he'd get hurt or maybe even a stranger might snatch him.

"Whoa little guy!" you knew that voice better than any other. Timmy had picked up Theo, holding him as if he'd held the boy every day of his life.

You looked on as Timmy and Theo looked at one another, matching dark curls, pale skin, and green eyes. Timmy smiled warmly as your son blushed and hid his face into Timmy's shoulder, acting shy suddenly.

"Hi, y/n." Timmy said, looking at you. "You've got a cute kid."

You took a deep breath, this moment up until now only existed in your dreams, "Thank you."

Timmy sighed, a melancholy look took over his face. You could tell his mind was racing. He came to know the truth, you could see it on his face. He tightened his grip on Theo, holding him more snuggly. "He's mine." It wasn't a question, it was a fact he had realized.

You looked down, feeling so ashamed at yourself. "Yes, he is."

He glared at you. There was nothing behind his eyes as he shook his head. But his expression changed instantly as he turned his attention back to his son. "What's your name, little man?"

"Theodore." the little one grinned, "But Mommy calls me Theo."

You watched as Theo softened like putty in Timmy's arms, he even put his hand on his dad's shoulder.

"I seen pitchers of you. Mommy showed me. I know you my daddy." The declaration in the boy's voice was noticeable.

Timmy chuckled lightly, "She did? Well, I'm very glad to finally meet you, Theo."

You could see your ex-boyfriend's eyes begin to well up, so you said, "Timmy, let's go to my place, okay?"

"Yeah! I want my daddy to come and play with me!" Theo cheered, super excitedly.

Timmy wiped his tears away quickly, "Of course, I'd love to."

.........

The whole way home, Theo was telling Timmy all about his favorite toys in his room. Timmy was fully engaged with what the boy was saying, understanding him perfectly as he spoke. They were instantly like two peas in a pod. It was remarkable. It did, however, add to the stinging pain of guilt you felt about keeping the two of them apart.

Upon entering the house, Theo dragged Timmy by the hand to go show him his room. “Whoa, whoa, slow down buddy.” Timmy said to the three-year-old as he laughed at how excited the boy was.

You couldn’t help but smile at how they got along. You decided to leave them be, to let them play and bond. You did some of your general chores around your home and tidied up the space, then sat down on the couch to watch some mindless tv.

Before you knew it, it was Theo’s bedtime. You had the difficult task of breaking up his first play time with his father.

You opened the door of your son’s room to see toy cars and trucks scattered about, intermixed with some little action figures.

Timmy and Theo were not disturbed by your entry. They were in their own world; Timmy was on his knees, pretending to block Theo as he tried to shoot a ball into his Little Tikes basketball hoop. It was so sweet to see them play and laugh together.

You hated to say anything at all, but little boys needed sleep. "Sorry bubs, but it's bedtime."

"Aw, do I have to go to bed?" Theo whined dropping his miniature basketball.

"Yes, you do." you said firmly to your son. You went over to his dresser to collect some pajamas out of a drawer. "Time for jammies."

"Okay." Theo grumbled, moping on his way to you.

"Don't pout, Theo, you need to do as your mother says." Timmy said with stern, but still light tone as to not hurt Theo's feelings.

Your heart fluttered at Timmy's first attempt at co-parenting with you.

"Can Daddy tuck me in?" he asked as you pulled his shirt over his head.

You looked over at Timmy, who nodded at you in turn. "Yes." you said, finishing getting Theo into his pajamas.

"Alright, little man, time to go to sleep." Timmy said as he helped Theo get into his twin bed, underneath his monster truck themed bedding.

Theo laid down and Timmy covered his tiny body with his blankets, and the boy said, "Can you make sure there are no monsters in the closet?"

Timmy smiled, happy to give his son some comfort, "Sure, buddy." He tussled the little boy's hair, then got up to look into the closet across the room. "No monsters in there. Just a regular ol' closet."

You smiled with tiny giggle as you watched the interaction.

Timmy then crouched down next to Theo's bed, "Goodnight, Theo. I was so glad to meet you today. I had fun playing too."

"Me too, Daddy. Can you come tomorrow too?" your son responded with a sleepy grin.

"I don't know about tomorrow, but I'll see you soon, I promise."

........

You knew what was to come as you walked out of your son's bedroom with his long-lost daddy behind you.

"Y/n, let's talk."

@gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @musicandbooksaremyhappyplace @tchalamss @softhecreator @bitchyunknownuser @lixzey @kpopgirlbtssvt @ducktapebar @aoi-targaryen

#timothée chalamet #timmy chalamet #timothée imagine #timothee x reader #timothee chalamet

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zepskies · 6 days

Text

Wake Me Up - Part 4

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x F. Reader

Summary: A few weeks after you and Ben celebrate your first Christmas together, Ben is returning from another mission with the Supe Affairs team. When he discovers that you’ve been taken, he’ll do whatever it takes to find you. And then, to help you heal.

AN: The moment we've all been waiting for...

Song Inspo: “I Can Read Your Mind” by the Doobie Brothers.

Word Count: 4.6K

Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! PTSD, medical trauma, angst, hurt/comfort, smut and feels (and "herb" smoking lol).

💚 Wake Me Up Masterlist || Break Me Down Masterlist

Part 4: “The Power in You”

In the morning, you woke before the man sleeping beside you. The longer you stared at his peaceful face, the more you wanted to remember why your heart ached just looking at him. And after last night, you couldn’t doubt him anymore.

Ben cared about you. Your heart could even hope to believe that he loved you, even if that hope surprised you.

He made you feel comfortable and warm. He made you feel safe.

So with these thoughts on your mind, you carefully slipped out of bed and got freshened up for the day. You tried to be as quiet as possible, and when you padded out into the living room on bare feet, you found the rest of the apartment empty.

Marie must’ve gone to work already, you realized, as it was nearly 10:00 a.m. Instead of going into the kitchen for your usual ritual of coffee and rummaging for breakfast, you found yourself all too curious about the man still snoring down the hall.

You decided to venture into the office you apparently shared with him. There was a big crate of vinyl records, a few of which featured Ben on them with various artists of the 70s and 80s. The cheesy album covers made you smile in amusement.

You moved on to the books on the shelves. Most of these seemed to be from your collection, as you recognized your favorites. Your fingers brushed over their dusty spines.

The pads of your fingers paused over something binder-like, not book-like. You pulled it out and realized it was a photo album. So, bringing it over to Ben’s large leather chair, you sat down and flipped it open.

The first pictures were in black and white. You didn’t recognize the young woman in one of them. Not until you saw her again next to a tall, stoic looking man, who had Ben’s facial structure and broad frame. You saw the young and cocky versions of Ben distilled in sepia tones, and it made a smirk pull at your lips.

The further you flipped through the album, the more your attention got sucked in. There was an old-school polaroid of you with Frenchie and Kimiko, sharing milkshakes. Then you and Annie, clinking cocktails together. Followed by you and M.M. trying to beat Butcher at Backgammon.

And then one of you, your friend Yvette, and her son Devon in Central Park. Another beside it, on that same day, where Ben had an arm raised high and parallel to the ground, and Devon clung onto his arm with a wide smile.

You brushed your fingers over that picture in wonder. You didn’t remember that day, even though you were sure you must have been there…

It was so odd to see so much of your life in pictures, yet it was all still so fuzzy, or entirely blank in your mind.

You paused, blushing once again when you saw the picture of you getting out of the shower with the towel barely wrapped around you. Why the hell would this be in a photo album?

You quickly moved on. Though you stopped next at a picture of you and Ben in what looked like a dark nightclub. The way he was holding you, looking at you like he was ready to devour you, and the way you were looking up at him, with a smile that said he’d better damn well try…

It made a sharp pain lance behind your eyes.

You gasped and held a hand to your temple, flinching at the sudden sensation. You’d taken your medication. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

But your vision altered. In your mind’s eye, you saw a dark club where people were dancing to Latin pop. You were clothed in black leather and flashing lights, and someone was spinning you across the dance floor.

As the scenes began to change in flashes, the pain in your head intensified. You whimpered and gripped your head with both hands. The photo album slid off your lap and to the floor.

You remembered being tied to a chair, staring up at Ben’s stoic face. And there were so many other faces you knew that you knew: Hughie and Annie, M.M., Butcher, Kimiko, Frenchie, Frank, Loco, Saul, your mother and sister, Grace, Stan Edgar, your father, Jon…

And Ben. He was standing over you, with worried eyes. You were pinned to the ground this time—a sharp pain in your shoulder.

“Stay awake.” It was both an order and a plea as the walls of a tower fell around you.

But it mixed with flashes of a knife carving across your flesh. Of demands and questions over and over as you resisted.

No, no, no, no…

You didn’t realize that you’d screamed loud enough to reverberate on the walls. You didn’t hear the thundering footsteps that brought Ben tearing into the office. He took one wide-eyed look at you, slumped and huddling on the floor, rocking yourself, holding your head with both hands, and he got down to one knee in front of you.

“What’s wrong?” he demanded, grabbing your shoulders.

You couldn’t speak. And to Ben, it didn’t seem like you were even hearing him as tears slipped down your face.

“Hey!” he barked, startling you with a flinch, but you blinked faster and looked up at him. Part of him felt a measure of relief at that small victory.

“Tell me what's happening,” he said, with deeply furrowed brows.

He held your face in his hands, and he could feel you shaking under his grasp. You uttered an agonized sound and grabbed onto his wrists, shutting your eyes tight.

“It hurts!” you managed to grit out. “Hurts bad this time.”

For the second time in his long life, Ben felt helpless. That feeling clawed through his stomach and up into his throat. It was like he was watching you fall apart, and he couldn’t do anything to stop it.

…No. His jaw locked as he ground his teeth. No. He wasn’t going to let you break.

“Wait here,” he said. He didn't want to move you, in case that made it worse.

He left you briefly just to grab his cell phone, but he was calling Dr. Jeong on his way back to you. There he kneeled on the ground and pulled you close while he waited for the damn doctor to answer. You clung to his shirt, pressed your face into his chest and wept hot tears.

Ben dropped the phone when you cringed, with a pained cry. He called your name and tried to pry you off him just enough so that he could see your face.

“Come on, sweetheart,” he muttered, pressing a hand to your cheek. “Hey! Look at me!”

There was a long moment where you couldn’t answer him.

Then, slowly, slowly…the pulsing behind your eyes and at the back of your head began to recede. Not all the way, but enough to blink your eyes open and release a breath. You were trembling, with your fingers wound tightly in Ben’s shirt. You were able to let go.

You blinked certain shadows out of the corners of your eyes while you caught your breath. When you next looked up at Ben, you saw that his face was tight with apprehension. It confused you.

“Ben?” you prompted. He took your hand, whether to steady you or himself, he’d never tell.

“What the fuck was that?” he said, his voice edged.

You blinked in shock for a moment as you caught your breath. Then, your lips twitched at a smile.

Ah, you recognized his polite way of asking if you were okay.

“Wow. That’s my caring boyfriend,” you said wryly.

Ben’s expression slackened. You became even more confused, and a little concerned, especially by the fact that you were sitting in his lap, but you both were on the ground.

“What?” you asked him. Why was he looking at you like that? What was happening here?

Ben quirked his head at you in wonder.

“How long have we lived here?” he asked.

Your brows furrowed. Why was he asking you that? But he looked dead serious, like this was a test of some kind.

“Almost a year. What, is your memory fading already?” You joked weakly, despite the way your head was still aching, just much less intense than before.

You realized then that the photo album you made for him for Christmas was on the floor, a couple of pictures displaced.

“What’s this doing on the floor?” You bent over to pick it up, even though just that small movement made your head swim. “Whoa…”

Ben grasped your arms and righted you. He stared into your eyes.

“Do you remember what happened two months ago?” he asked.

He was so damn serious, he was starting to scare you. When you contemplated his question, you realized the fog that had claimed your mind for so long was beginning to lift.

Piece by piece, it returned to you.

You remembered waking up in the hospital, everyone coming to see you, the doctor telling you…

“Something happened to me,” you said slowly, rubbing your aching forehead. Your brows furrowed, and you clung to Ben’s arm. “Am I…am I okay?”

That’s what the fuck I’m trying to figure out, Ben thought.

He reminded you that you were taken by Jackson Rawlins and his brother Tom. Ben, Butcher, and the rest of the team found you, but you’d been hurt. Along with your other injuries, your skull was fractured. It affected your memory, among other things.

“My memory,” you repeated. “Ben, did I…?”

You looked up at him with a small gasp. His face remained stoic, but you saw through it as his gaze veered away from you.

You remembered that he’d been taking care of you with your mother for weeks now. You remembered that you’d forgotten him.

You took his face in your trembling hands. Both sorrow and apology showed in your eyes, along with brimming tears.

“Oh, baby. I’m so sorry,” you said, through choked emotion. “I can’t believe I…”

Ben didn’t speak, but he met your gaze while trying to stamp down the full force of his relief. He swallowed past an unfamiliar tightening in his throat.

“What do you remember?” he asked.

“That you saved me, as usual,” you laughed through your tears. “And that I owe you this.”

Your thumbs brushed his bearded cheeks in a tender caress, and you brought him down to kiss you. His lips met yours in kind as his eyes closed. He let out a breath through his nose and held you a bit tighter against him. Part of him was still wary of hurting you further, and reluctant to even accept this as real.

After a moment longer, you paused, pulling back a little.

“I guess I’m back,” you said, in the small space between his face and yours.

Ben sighed. He brushed the back of his hand against your cheek, and he claimed your lips again.

Dr. Jeong arrived within the hour to check you over, and to confirm that most of your memories had returned. Meanwhile, her team of nurses checked your vitals and prepped you for a blood transfusion from Ben. In your bedroom, you sat up on your side of the bed while a bag of his O-positive circulated into your bloodstream.

A couple of hours of bed rest later, your body was completely healed, and even free of scars. The powerful ache in your head that had become commonplace had vanished. And afterward, the doctors took up their supplies and left.

You were finally able to take in your familiar surroundings. Your fingertips passed over picture frames on your dresser, the ornate perfume bottle Ben had gotten you for Christmas, your favorite throw blanket you’d tossed carelessly onto the floor this morning. You paused for a moment to look at yourself in the mirror.

It was odd to see yourself dressed in a tank top and pajama pants, slightly frizzy hair around your shoulders, your skin free of any scars. You touched your cheek tentatively, marveling at the way you didn’t feel any pain.

Ben’s frame appeared behind you, as did his hands on your hips. You turned in his arms and pulled him into an embrace. You smiled at the warmth you felt through his shirt. Your own portable heater.

“What’re you thinking?” he asked. He had to wonder at how easily you’d slipped yourself into his arms just now. Yet another small reminder that you were his again.

In answer to his question, you gave a hum of contemplation, all while your hands moved down his back. You looked up at him, your lips curving into a smile.

“I think you can guess this time,” you replied.

Ben’s eyes roamed over you, over your face, your body held in his arms, and back up to your lips.

One more added perk of your “medical treatment” had you pulling him down to you by his shirt for a heated kiss. His strength coursed through your veins, making you more solid and energized than when you were once on V24.

Ben heeded your demanding kiss with a near growl as he took you into his arms and walked you back towards the bed. A warning triggered in his mind, however. It had him cupping the back of your head and laying you down with more gentleness than he usually had with you in times like these.

Not to say that he was overly rough with you, but as he positioned himself above you and began to undress you, tank top and pants flung to the floor, you noticed how careful he was being. After you helped him get rid of his own shirt and pants, you slowed things down for a moment, once again caressing his cheek. It encouraged him to meet your eyes.

“Hey,” you said quietly. “You know I’m pretty much as strong as you right now, right? You won’t hurt me. I’m not in pain anymore.”

Ben nodded, releasing a sharp breath. “Right.”

He knew that, of course. He’d just had to get used to treating you like fragile glass over the past two months. Every time he’d helped you, touched you, cared for you, he’d had to use every ounce of his self-control to temper his strength even more so than usual. It was hard to turn that off.

You smiled. An idea sparked in your head, and you pushed at his chest to let you sit up. There you encouraged him to roll over and switch positions, so that he was lying on his back and you were straddling his hips. You slid your hands up his toned stomach and chest and you bent down to kiss his neck.

He closed his eyes as you burned a wet path across his skin. Your lips traveled down his chest, where he slid his fingers into your hair. It prompted you to look up at him with a smile. Seeing him watching you with half-lidded eyes made a small flood of heat pool between your legs.

You couldn’t help but move back up and guide his face up to yours for a kiss. He deepened it pretty much immediately, his tongue hungrily demanding entrance to your mouth as you began rocking your hips against his.

His hands tightened on your waist, but they soon slid up your sides to unclip your bra. He slid down the panties next, and you broke away for a moment to shimmy them down your thighs. You helped him do the same with his underwear.

He gripped at your thighs and ass hard enough to leave serious bruises, if you were normal. Right now though, your bones, your skin, your touch was just as strong as his. Now, his iron grip just made you smile.

The feeling of your smooth, warm skin under his hands, your wet folds brushing against his straining cock, the promise between your thighs, it all made him groan into your mouth. He sat up and held you to him, skin against flushed skin, your breasts pressing against his chest. He grinded his thick, hard length against your core, earning a breathy moan from you.

“Fuck, I’ve fucking missed you,” he admitted. He fisted a hand into your hair and bared your neck for him. He trailed wet kisses that occasionally grazed with teeth. You shuddered against him as your hands splayed against his back.

“Ben, I’m so sorry,” you whispered in his ear. You held him tighter for a different reason.

“Enough,” he said. His words were gruff, but he soothed a hand through your hair. “It’s over. We’re here now.”

You nodded, biting your lip and blinking against the sting of tears.

What you didn’t know was, the last thing he wanted was for you to apologize to him. He couldn’t fucking tolerate it.

Instead, he reached a hand between you and slid a hand down the inside of your thigh, and then two fingers between your folds, and into your wet heat. He wasted no more time in working you open.

He drew a hot moan from you, one that echoed in his ear while his thumb found your clit, and the rest of his fingers toyed with your pussy. You ached to be filled, and your core was already throbbing around his fingers.

You gripped his hair tight. Your hips began to undulate with the tempo of his pulsing fingers.

“Ben,” you implored and whined at the same time. Your inner walls were squeezing his hand tight as his fingers brushed with purpose over that sensitive place, deep inside you.

“That’s right. Fucking squeeze the shit out of me,” he demanded. “Want you gushing all over my hand.”

“You’re about to get what you want,” you panted. “Fuck…”

He didn’t care that your iron grip was threatening to rip a chunk out of his hair. He was stroking you with single-minded precision, until you finally clamped down that much harder on his hand and gasped in his ear. To him, that sound was his own personal symphony. He never got tired of making you come apart, and making you sing just for him.

And you…well, you certainly never got tired of letting him. This time though, you’d wanted to be on top so you could be the one to make him feel good—and give him a little care after everything that had happened. But you couldn’t even argue when Ben rolled you onto your back again. Still, you slid your hands over his chest.

“I wanted to give you some star treatment,” you said breathlessly. You began to sit up again. “Here, let me—”

“You’re gonna let me fuck you deep into this fucking mattress ‘til we break a few springs,” he said. “That sound good for you?”

He bent down and sucked hard at your neck. Meanwhile, he grabbed your thighs and hooked your legs over his shoulders.

“O-Okay,” you agreed, your eyes closing. You gasped as he bit down just under your ear, marking you as his, and earning another gasp of pleasure from you as your body pressed against his.

Then he lined his cock up to your entrance. Once he breached your folds, your squeezing grip on his arms encouraged him to sheathe himself inside you, sliding all the way home.

You shuddered at the delicious feeling of being filled. Your heels pressed into his back, urging him to keep moving. He still took the time to brush his hand against your cheek, a tender caress.

You blinked up at him with a smile. He gave you one back, albeit more reserved. In turn, you swept his hair away from his eyes, like you were wont to do. He secretly reveled in the feeling of it, the familiarity of you. He turned his head and laid a kiss against your wrist.

But after that brief flash of tenderness, Ben pushed forward, quite literally, to steal your breath away. Each new stroke of his cock deep inside you made the coil of warmth and pleasure tighten, for both of you. The sound of mingled breaths and flesh against flesh filled the room as you two moved together. And in this, you two had always been in sync.

His hand moved between you to circle roughly at your clit.

“Come on, baby. At least one more for me.”

You nodded, panting for breath. You moved the angle of his hand to just right, and his last pounding strokes finally drove you over the edge. You came shortly before he did, spilling into you with hot abandon and a ragged sound in his throat.

You two recovered there for a moment. He rested his forehead against yours, and again, you swept your fingers through his sweaty hair.

Eventually, he pulled back and opened his eyes to meet yours. He grasped your free hand off his shoulder and pressed a kiss into your palm. Then he smirked down at you.

“Welcome home,” he said.

Long afterwards, your body felt like warm molasses. You’d both gotten cleaned up and now shared the bed properly in rest. You were half-dozing while you laid warm, comfortable, and naked in his arms.

You’d called your mom earlier to let her know what had happened today, and that you’d recovered fully following the blood transfusion…and if she wanted to grab dinner with Louisa tonight before coming home, then that would give you and Ben some time to “catch up.”

Thankfully, Marie had enough tact to read between the lines. She told you that she’d be back later this evening, and Louisa would come to visit you again tomorrow.

You were at peace as you trailed lazy patterns across Ben’s chest while he smoked a blunt.

He deserves it, you thought with a smile. That led you to shift onto your side and rest your weight on your elbow, above his shoulder.

“You know something?” you said. “Thank you for being so gentle with me throughout all this. I know I didn’t always give you an easy time of it.”

Ben shook his head, smiling slightly before he blew out a puff.

“What else is fucking new?” he said. You smiled too, but you still grabbed his chin, so he’d look at you.

“I’m serious,” you said. “Thank you.”

He sobered, letting out another coil of smoke through his nose.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

Your head quirked. You released him to caress his cheek instead.

“Yeah, babe. I’m all healed up now,” you reassured.

“Not entirely what I meant,” he said. He hesitated, his gaze dropping, before it met yours again. “…It took us three days to find you.”

That made you dim with more sobering consideration, when you realized what he meant. You had finally remembered what you went through with the Rawlins brothers, held captive in that dark, disgusting cave. A shudder ran down your spine.

Those memories had only just returned to you a few hours ago, and you’d immediately shut them away in the “don’t file this into your core memories” pile. You really hadn’t had too much time to reflect on that, or even process it all really.

Tears stung at your eyes, and your lower lip trembled, but you tried to breathe past it, closing your eyes.

“I’m okay now. It’s in the past,” you said.

In other words, denial of the purest form.

Ben shook his head with a sigh. He put out his blunt on the ashtray on his nightstand, setting it aside. He slid a hand up your back and gathered you closer against his chest. You rested your head there.

You sucked in a tremulous breath, and your tears finally fell. You sniffed and tried to bat them away, but you let the sound of his heartbeat steady you.

What you’d been through was…beyond words. It was more than you’d ever been through, even with your father. Even though you were grateful to be you again, there were also things you wished you could forget again. Things that were etched into your psyche, and you were certain you’d see them again when you next closed your eyes.

“It shouldn’t have fucking happened,” Ben said. "This one's on me."

His voice dislodged you from your spiraling thoughts, if for the moment. It drew your eyes back up to his as your mouth parted. You knew that was his way of apologizing.

“Ben, it wasn't your fault,” you said, laying a hand on his chest.

He gave you a measured look.

“We both know that’s not true,” he said. Always to the point.

“And…” he began to add, but he cut himself off. You tilted your head at him.

“And?” you prompted.

Ben’s lips pressed together in hesitation. He almost wished he hadn’t set down his blunt. Instead, he looked you in the eyes like a man.

“Your family doesn’t know who’s really responsible for this,” he said. The admission was a small weight off his heart, even though he didn’t want to acknowledge that bit. “All they know is that it was…retaliation.”

You looked up at him then, with a frown.

“You mean Mom and Louisa? You didn’t tell them it was the Rawlins brothers,” you clarified.

After a moment, Ben nodded. "Yeah."

You could thought you could also read between the lines of what he wasn’t saying.

Who’s really responsible for this…

You took in a deep breath, then you released it. You had a feeling your mother would understand if you told her the truth, but Louisa, on the other hand?

“Okay,” you said. “That’s probably for the best, anyway.”

He tacitly agreed, even if the well-hidden depths of his guilt remained. You saw all that too.

Before he reached for his blunt again, you took his hand. You laced your fingers with his, and raised your joined hands to your lips, pressing a kiss over his knuckles.

“Look, I knew what I was getting into when we decided to be together,” you said. “I don’t regret it, because…I love you.”

Ben’s gaze began to drift away, but you turned his face back to you with a finger.

“I love you,” you repeated, with emotion making your eyes sting. “I know we’ll get past this. Probably with copious amounts of therapy on my end, but we will.”

Ben considered that with a shallow nod. He couldn’t help but reach for you, cupping your cheek. He bent down to press a lingering kiss against your forehead. He stayed there for a moment, just thinking.

You gave him the time he needed, and in the meantime, you let yourself be comforted by his warmth and closeness. You also wiped away your remaining tears, sniffling.

“Okay,” he said, at last.

“Okay?” you echoed. “What does that mean?”

“This,” he said, and guided your face to his for another kiss. He claimed you slowly, but with purpose. And, after a slight pause, he allowed himself to speak an ultimate truth.

“I love you,” Ben said. His face wasn’t stoic, or reluctant. It was honest.

“I may not say it enough,” he continued, caressing your cheek with his thumb. “But it's you and me. Like Sonny and Cher. When they were good, before the ugly divorce. Or like Bonnie and Clyde. Just, you know, without the grisly end bit."

You laughed and shook your head incredulously. Sign this man up for Hallmark cards.

Ben made a dismissive gesture with his hand.

"Whatever. The point is, you’re mine, understand?" he said. "That’s just how it is.”

“Is that right?” you teased. A smile tugged at Ben’s lips as well.

“That’s right,” he affirmed, squeezing your waist. You laughed a little more and settled back into resting against his chest.

“Okay,” you replied.

And for now, it really was.

AN: Ahh, the end of a series is always bittersweet, no? I had a lot of fun with this BMD mini series, and I hope you did too! I'm sure I'll come back to these two eventually (there are still BMD requests in my inbox), but let me know what you thought of how we wrapped up here with Wake Me Up. 💚

Ko-Fi Me ☕

Break Me Down Masterlist

Soldier Boy Masterlist

Main Masterlist

BMD/Series Tag List (Part 1):

@deans-spinster-witch @this-is-me19 @waynes-multiverse @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @spalady26

@spnwoman @syrma-sensei @wirdbeimaufhebengebunden @muhahaha303 @123passwort

@mrsjenniferwinchester @lyarr24 @xoxovienna @lollag0w0 @globetrotter28

@nancymcl @ashbatz @secretdreamlandmentality @kristophalis @wonderland2022

@emily-winchester @shelh93 @sl33pylilbunny @spoonmynoodle @chernayawidow

@buckybarnes-1917 @asgardprincess97 @sometimes-i-sing @itsyellow @theonlymaninthesky

@kimberleymjw @is-this-a-febreze-commercial @iamsapphine @sanscas @se-fucking-hun

@lassie-bird @jessjad @yepimthatperson @fromcaintodean @stoneyggirl2

@spnfamily-j2 @im-a-slut-for-fluff @lacilou @venicesem @mimaria420

@tearsfortheyouth @agalliasi @chriszgirl92 @kazsrm67 @deansbbyx

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nburkhardt · 1 year

Text

Part 1

Wayne Munson can read a person within a few minutes when being in the same room together

So when he comes home from work one evening, he immediately clocks an upset Steve. It’s not even surprising to see the boy in his living room nowadays. What is surprising is that his nephew is no where to be found. Neither of them speak as he takes his work boots off and jacket, then makes a quick cup of coffee and settles in the recliner.

“So, why’re you upset? My nephew forget a date?” He sips at his coffee and watches Steve tense up, he can tell the boy is holding himself back from looking towards him. It makes Wayne pause, clearly something is actually wrong. “This serious, boy?”

It doesn’t take a genius to see how much whatever it is, is really effecting Steve. It’s the way he holds himself back, even with being hunched over. How tense his shoulders are, that his hair is a mess and how he’s clutching his hands. Truthfully, Wayne can tell the boy is trying hard not to cry.

The day he officially met Steve Harrington within five minutes of talking, he grew a soft spot for the boy. It wasn’t with the way he talked about how much he liked Eddie or the way he held himself. It was because of the longing in his eyes when he thought no one was looking.

They were in a hospital waiting room, Eddie was still in surgery and Wayne had shown up to a room full of kids. The reporter girl had pulled him aside to explain what was happening and he was listening to her but glancing around the room when his eyes caught sight of a young man sitting on the floor with his back against the wall and his eyes were trained on the sight of a kid with curly hair in the arms of a woman. To anyone else, it would just be a friend watching someone else.

But to Wayne? He knew what longing looks like. Has seen it many times in his life. Especially in Eddie. The biggest difference between Steve and Eddie? His nephew learnt to hide that look, figured out how vulnerable it can be. With Steve it’s noticeable, and, it seems he wears his emotions like a jacket. It’s there and open for all to see. With all that, he immediately knew that he’ll be there to care for Steve in anyway he’d want.

He also knew, as soon as Eddie was able, that he’d be right there with him. Fast forward a few months, Wayne was correct when Eddie told him about his first date with Steve.

“I, uh. I asked him” Steve mumbles out without looking at him, “it- didn’t go as I planned”

Nodding, he places the cup down and leans forward. It’s a serious type of talk, it seems. “What happened?”

Steve shakes his head and he catches a quick sight of red teary eyes, “I told him about a gift and he panicked, thought he missed an anniversary or something. Then when I tried to ask him, it was someone’s birthday and the waiters were singing loudy. Then, then, I lost my plan and just said if he wanted to share his last name.”

He chuckles at that, but it dies down when Steve finally looks up at him. He looks just absolutely heartbroken and close to breaking completely. Schooling his face, he leans forward to grip Steve’s shoulder. It snaps his attention and Wayne’s thankful for it.

“Steve, why don’t you relax? Try again another-“

“He thought I was asking if you’d adopt me!”

Once it’s said, it’s silent. Steve’s tears have broken the invisible barrier and falling down now, it’s breaking Wayne’s old heart. Makes him want to smack Eddie upside the head for being an oblivious idiot.

“Look, how about ya go take it easy and I’ll wait up for Ed. Love that boy but he can be a bit oblivious.” Wayne shakes his head before nudging Steve’s shoulder again, “that ring of yours will get on his finger, son. Just let me talk to him”

Steve just nods, wipes at his eyes and makes his way towards Eddie’s room. Glancing at the clock, he knows Eddie won’t be back for another hour or two. Depending on if he starts on a rant, so in the meantime, he drinks his coffee and waits.

He hears the sounds of Eddie’s van nearly an hour later. He’s on his second cup, ate a quick sandwich and made sure to check if Steve followed his advice, which to his relief he did. With Steve asleep in Eddie’s room, he decided his best bet to talk with Eddie was driving. It eased his mind and with his boots back on he waits for his nephew to walk in.

“Honey, I’m hom- oh. It’s just you” Eddie looks disappointed and it makes a beeline to go to his room. Right before he’s able, he grabs hold of Eddie’s arm stopping him. “Wayne, come on. I know Stevie’s here and I’d like to join-“

He shakes his head and stands up, pull Eddie with him back towards the door, “Your boy is asleep, come with me for a drive. We gotta have a chat, alright?”

Eddie pouts but doesn’t move away, moves with him with a whine of, “but Waaaaayne! I wanna go cuddle my boyfriend!”

Rolling his eyes, he opens the door and waves a pouring Eddie out. “You’ll survive a short drive, Ed.”

Eddie dramatically groans but stomps out towards his truck and crossed his arms waiting. With another eye roll, he closes the door and joins Eddie before unlocking the doors. They both climb in silently and continue this as he drives away. It’s not until he’s on the road that Eddie finally says, “Why am I in trouble now?”

Chuckling, he shakes his head and instantly flashes back to when Eddie was fifteen and gotten in trouble in school for the first time while living with him. Wayne decided the easiest way to get anything out of the near panicking Eddie at the time was to talk while driving aimlessly around.

They’ve done this a few times since then. Eddie hasn’t caught on that it was a benefit to both of them. Emotional talks aren’t his thing. But he’ll be damned before he admits that out loud.

“Nah, ya ain’t in trouble, boy.” He finally tells him while stopping and glancing at Eddie, he’s bouncing his leg and tapping his fingers against the other leg. “Ed, serious, you ain’t in trouble. We’re just havin’ a late night drive and chat”

“About what? You only do this when I’m in trouble or, or when I came out to you” Eddie doesn’t stop his tapping but he does bring up the leg that was bouncing to lean against.

Wayne shakes his head, moving back to watch the road. Thinking over his next words, Eddie doesn’t bother with the radio and is still watching him. He knows and doesn’t call his nephew out for the staring.

“Look, I came home and your boy was upset,” He started off, glancing over quickly to see Eddie tense up. “We chatted, he’s been asking me things about ya. See if I’d know where your head is at.”

“Why- uh. Why would-“

“We both know your boy has a lot of insecurities, doubts and all that.” He came to another stop and looked over at his nephew, meeting his eyes before Eddie quickly looks away. “Don’t get lost in your insecurities right now, Ed”

Eddie shakes his head and pulls his other leg up to hug them, “why didn’t he come to me about whatever the problem is?”

He has to quickly smoother the smirk that wants to work it’s way on his face, doesn’t want to give away that Eddie’s worried over the wrong thing, “Wasn’t a major problem, mostly he wanted to know my opinion on a gift”

Eddie’s face is mostly hidden but his whole body tenses up. He look up at him with wide eyes, “You- you know what it is?”

He nods, looking away to drive again. “Ya, it’s gorgeous. Your boy sure knows how to pick things out. Asked if you’d like it, told him it just screamed you. It’ll go nicely with everything you own.”

Eddie doesn’t say a word and Wayne just silently drives back towards their home, it’s nearly too late.

“So- you knew he was gonna give me something?”

“More like, ask ya something. But we can go with that too, if you’d want”

Wayne pulls up to their home shortly after saying that, turning the truck off to turn and watch Eddie. Watches as Eddie thinks about it, slowly his cheeks turn pink and into full blown red as the realization hits him. If he didn’t love this boy so much, he’d be laughing his ass off.

“Oh fuck, I- I’m an idiot”

Shaking his head, he settled a hand on Eddie’s knee, “nah, you ain’t an idiot. Just a little slow, Ed. Now come on, go inside sleep and tomorrow you and your boy can talk. Yeah?”

Eddie only nods before getting out and making his way inside and Wayne just watches before following suit. As he walks past Eddie’s door he hears a soft conversation happening.

“I’m sorry, my beloved.”

“Why’re you sorry?”

“I’m an idiot, that’s why”

“Baby, Eds- no. Don’t say that, you really ar-“

“But I am! You, you were asking me to marry you and I stupidity thought you wanted Wayne to adopt you!”

Wayne shakes his head at that before making his way to his room, his job is done.

~~~~

The ring doesn’t make an appearance until nearly a week later.

Wayne can tell the boys are even closer now, that their communication skills have grown just a little bit better. His nephew is still a little slow sometimes but now they’re more clear in what they’re talking about and hardly interrupt each other during more serious conversations. Makes him proud to see it.

It’s during a family dinner when he spots the ring on his nephew’s finger. He smirks into his drink but doesn’t mention it, he also doesn’t mention anything when he spots Eddie’s ring on Steve’s ring finger.

He’s happy for his boys, and he can’t wait for the day they can actually get married. Because it will happen, they deserve it.

Annnnd that’s it!! I decided half way into writing the ending to end it within Wayne’s pov. It seemed fitting to me. I’d like to thank @i-less-than-three-you for the help with parts of this!! If it wasn’t for her, this fic actually wouldn’t be a thing lol.

#steddie #steddie fic #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #Steve Harrington #Eddie Munson #Wayne Munson #stranger things #stranger things fic #the proposal fic #nburkhardt writes

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lialacleaf · 10 months

Text

To Care For A Woman

Chapter 4

Simon Riley x Reader

Summary: You join the army as a last-ditch effort to avoid destitution, but when you sustain an injury protecting Lieutenant Ghost and earn yourself a medical discharge, you're stuck all over again. Or maybe not...

Warnings: Tension, Simon wants to care for you, small reader, a little bit spicy but not NSFW, man worrying about a woman's safety, typical cannon violence, deception, I'm sorry it's unedited...

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

You were beginning to feel like Simon was hiding something. When he went out on missions he was insistent that you didn’t contact him. At all.

You never once wondered if there was another woman involved, Simon was too good to you for it to be that.

He was just so closed off when it came to the topic of work, and you weren’t sure why. Maybe he was battling PTSD, and trying not to let it color your relationship.

It had been six months since you had married Simon, two of which he’d spent deployed somewhere. Your parents had asked if you were coming home for the holidays, and you told them you would be working.

They still believed you had a job. In a way you did. When Simon wasn’t home you did light house chores, now that Dr. Radcliffe had cleared you for more movement.

Your leg was still weak, and running was out of the question. You’d begged Simon to let you get a dog but he’d bit his lip, given you a pained look, and explained that it wasn’t fair to the animal if you couldn’t care for it properly.

You’d nodded in agreement but it had hurt all the same. You were lonely when he was gone.

“So what are we doing for the holidays?” You asked as Simon washed the dinner dishes and handed them to you to be put away.

He shrugged as he scrubbed pasta sauce off one of the plates. “Haven’t celebrated in a while,” he admitted, handing you the next clean dish.

“Do you ever visit your family?” You asked.

“Have you ever been to Cambridge?” He went about scrubbing the cup your tea was in.

“I’ve never been to the UK, just the parts of Europe the 141 has taken me. Is that where you’re from?” You asked in excitement.

“No, I grew up in Manchester,” he said, passing you the cup.

“Is your family in Cambridge now?” You asked, feeling as if the conversation had gotten slightly off topic.

“No.”

You blinked in confusion. “Wouldn’t it make more sense to spend the holidays in Manchester with your family?”

“It doesn’t have to be Cambridge, London is nice too,” he added, drying his hands on the spare dish towel. “We’ve got a few weeks to decide anyhow.” He gave you a quick kiss on the forehead before disappearing into the bathroom.

You gaped slightly, blinking in confusion. What just happened? Had he really just swept your questions about his family under the rug with the distraction of a holiday vacation?

Maybe it was only fair. You’d made no effort to introduce Simon to your parents, but that was different. You were a daughter, not a son. If your parents found out their little baby girl had been injured, and married off to some strange man, your father would blow a fuse.

You knew very little about Simon though. The only thing you knew about him was his strange relationship with Ghost. Why was someone as sweet as Simon even mates with someone like Ghost?

Simon had started taking you into town once a week. He didn’t like to keep you cooped up, and Dr. Radcliffe had warned him you’d end up in trauma therapy if he kept you isolated during recovery.

Simon was relieved you didn’t display much interest in going to the mall. You were perfectly happy to go to the park and pet dogs, or go to the bookstore for hours on end.

You were begging to accumulate a small library, and sooner or later he’d need to build you a bookshelf.

“Out for the weekly book haul I see,” Jesse, the store owner said as you approached her counter, most of your books in Simon’s arms. You grinned at her as she scanned your latest finds. “You’re practically keeping me in business at this point.”

You shrugged and gave Jesse a bright smile. “You had new stuff in the gardening section, thought it might be helpful for the herbs we just planted,” you said, flashing Simon a grin.

He didn’t give you much of a reaction, but that was normal when he was in public. He wasn’t exactly fond of strangers, but he tolerated Jesse for the free cups of tea she bestowed on the two of you when you sat down to read in her cafe.

She’d never asked for the details of your relationship with Simon, but she always chuckled softly when he handed over his debit card without so much as a grumble for your somewhat expensive taste in books. A man that supported his partner's love of books was a good man in her opinion.

Jesse placed your books in a bag and handed them to Simon with a smile, unbothered by his flat expression and aversion to talking more than what was necessary.

“Have you decided where you want to go for Christmas yet?” He asked as he helped you load into his truck.

“Maybe we should stay home this year. I was just thinking it’d be harder to travel with my leg, and you already don’t like crowds, I can’t imagine how busy London must be this time of year…” you trailed off as Simon buckled into the driver’s seat. “But I would like to put up a tree!” You added.

Simon raised a brow at you as if he were amused by your declaration. “A tree?”

“Yeah! A Christmas tree! And we could have some of your teammates over-“

“They’ll be with their families,” he stated quickly.

Your smile fell. Oh. Right. “Maybe just the Captain then?”

Simon bit his lip but nodded. Price was aware of the situation, and the least likely to spill the beans. He supposed inviting his Captain over for a holiday meal would be alright.

“Speaking of family,” you began carefully, “Can we stop by the post office next week? I’d like to ship my parents' Christmas presents,” you requested softly.

Simon glanced at you out of the corner of his eye. “Would you like to see your family?” He asked, and you shook your head.

“No, I…” you trailed off, unsure of what to say.

“You haven’t told them.” It wasn’t a question. He’d heard your phone calls with them. They still thought you were working for Price.

“It’s…it’s not that I don’t want you to meet them. It’s just that I don’t want them to worry, and I know that they will.” Simon nodded, grasping your hand gently in his. “I’ll figure something out…eventually.”

“I have to go for a mission next week, but I’ll be back before Thanksgiving. We can put up the tree when I get back. I’ll…leave the truck with you, you can make it to town on your own?” He asked.

Your eyes widened in surprise. You hadn’t expected him to even offer, but now that you thought about it, it was a little ridiculous to expect you to stay put while he was gone. It was your left leg that was injured after all, you could still drive.

“Yeah, I know the way. Thanks, Simon,” you said, offering him a brilliant smile.

“Just be careful,” he reminded you. He’d leave a pistol with you just in case. The holidays were always more dangerous. He was starting to regret not getting you that dog. He would have to look into putting up a fence, but that was a long term project that he’d need a longer break from work to accomplish. Like hell he was gonna pay some stranger to come out to his home where his wife was to do the job.

Once the truck was parked and your books were unloaded, Simon went about doing his chores while you made lunch. At some point you heard the buzz of his saw outside. He seemed to always have some sort of project going.

You couldn’t stop thinking about the other night as you went about piling chicken salad on two croissants. Why was he so closed off concerning his family?

You eyed you bedroom door, wondering if you should just leave it alone, or put your detective skills to work.

You left your plates on the counter as you slipped into your bedroom. Simon didn’t keep many personal items, therefore your nightstand was always a little more cluttered than his between your laptop, medications, and other odds and ends.

You weren’t exactly sure what you were looking for. All you really knew about Simon was his name and that he’d grown up in Manchester. Your search would likely yield little result.

At least that was what you thought until you were starting at a death record. A death record for Simon Riley, bearing the same date of birth and identification information that was on your marriage certificate.

“Y/n?” You jumped, your head shooting up to see Simon in his sweaty work clothes standing in the doorway. “Gonna hop through the shower before lunch…everything alright?” He asked, noticing how pale you’d gone.

“I…um, yeah, yeah I’m fine.” You sputtered, closing your laptop screen. “I’ll go finish lunch,” you said, limping back into the kitchen.

Simon watched you, his head cocked to the side, before he shrugged, and stripped down to get a shower.

You tried to ignore the knots forming in your gut. Simon Riley was dead, and you had no unearthly clue who this man was. Did Ghost know? Had he unwittingly sent you right into the arms of someone dangerous, or was Ghost well aware of who Simon really was?

Your hands shook as you went about finishing the lunch preparations, and you quietly set the table, hyper aware of the other person in the house.

Simon was still in the shower, you had time to go back for your laptop. You quickly made your way into the bedroom, lifting the screen as you sat on the bed.

Your eyes scanned over the obituary with concern. Simon Riley…served in the royal army…died in a fire…no body…wait…no body?

You scrolled down a bit until you got to the photo at the bottom of the page. It was your Simon. You felt your throat tighten.

Why was your Simon supposedly dead? It made no sense. The man in the picture, albeit a little older, was currently showering in the bathroom.

You scanned through the rest of the obituary, noticing the mention of his family. Each name was highlighted, and you risked clicking on the name of the previous Mrs. Riley.

You felt like you were going to hurl when you were greeted with an even more morbid obituary. His entire family was gone. Murdered. Stolen right out from under him. It suddenly made sense. His overprotective nature was simply a trauma response. It still didn’t explain the falsified death certificate, but it was a start.

It wasn’t until you were staring into the photographed eyes of Tommy Riley that it clicked.

Tommy had brown eyes, practically identical to Simon’s. There was one other person you knew of with those eyes. One other person who’s voice sounded so similar to Simon’s, even if it was a little rougher.

Was Tommy…Ghost?

AN: OOOOOH Ya'll excited? We get spicy next chapter...

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nichuuu · 7 months

Text

Dried Things & Humanity

말린 것들과 인류

Word count: 13k+ SMUTLESS FIC

"The world, after all, was still a place of bottomless horror. It was by no means a place of childlike simplicity where everything could be settled by a simple then-and-there decision" ~Osamu Dazai

Dried flowers.

They sat by your bedside, a constant reminder of how far you would go for love—A love that would never be anything more than a short-lived euphoria. They’d died some time ago, wilting rather quickly under a lack of care, but you kept them. The text that came when spring first rolled around saying hey let’s break up was not expected, neither was the part where she blocked you, nor was the part where you almost jumped off a bridge. Yet it all happened, a confusing, muddled, mish mash of events that went down over the span of a week. If it weren’t for your friends, you would be at the bottom of the river by now, joining your grandfather and maybe your family dog up in the clouds, or wherever it was that spirits wandered to. At the moment, getting out of this life didn’t seem like too bad of an idea.

You stupid child! Your mother had chided when she found out about what you almost did. What do you think you would’ve achieved with that? What good will it do?

Then she hugged you, held you tight and sobbed as she thanked god for letting you live another day. Frankly, you didn’t know what was the appropriate response for your mother. You opted to hug her back, tearfully whispering your endless apologies to her. Even though you promised to never make another attempt on your life, the fear of losing her only boy still lingered in your mother’s mind. Your mother and father were always in the office. So, in fear that living alone would drive you to the worst possible option, she sent you to live with your uncle who ran a secondhand bookshop in a small town not too far from the city. She filled him in with what happened and pleaded for him to help you “recover”.

“Don’t worry little sis,” he assured your mother. He threw an arm around you, “I’ll take care of him like he’s my own son. We’ll get along, won’t we?”

Park Sang-hoon—the people living in the area called him “the librarian”—was your mother’s older brother. You hadn’t seen him since you graduated from middle school, and he’d certainly aged from the last time you saw him. The hair that was once jet black and slicked back was turning white and receding. The same friendly complexion remained however, the amiable smile that you remembered greeting you when he opened the door to his house. It was a stone's throw away from the bookstore.

The house and the business had been imparted upon him by your grandparents. It was relatively small, but there was enough room for the two of you to live with your own privacy (though that didn't really matter since he’d just come barging into the room you stayed in anyway.)

The door to your room flung open. “Hey kid! Rise and shine!”

You grumbled something incoherent and pulled the blanket over your head.

“Up! Up! It’s time to get up!” your uncle bellowed in a sing-song tone, “there are so many things to see and do! Get up you lazy child!”

Your blanket was yanked off your entire body.

“Is this really necessary?” you snapped. Your uncle grinned.

“No. But it’s fun,” he beamed. You rolled your eyes and rolled onto your left side, you back facing him,

“Leave me alone…” you muttered, “let me sleep…”

“I’ve been letting you do that for the past week,” your uncle huffed, “now your mother is calling me, demanding to know if you’d even emerged from this room. She said some mean things to me, you know?”

You sighed and turned onto your back. “I’ll go out tomorrow…”

Your uncle sighed. “Let me tell you something…”

Let me tell you something was the signal for you to tune out. “Let me tell you something”, “Let me tell you this”—your uncle always said these before he launched into a long rambling story that really added no value to what he was trying to say. It was either that or he’d leave you with a cryptic message to decipher yourself. You never understood why he did that, it was probably just an old people thing.

By the time he was done with his little storytime, you were still in bed. With another heavy sigh, your uncle said, “fine… If you’re not gonna go anywhere today, at least come and help me with the store.”

Your mind told you to stay in bed, but your body told you that you needed to get outside. You decided to listen to the latter party for once.

The bookshop was old, one of those shophouses down a stretch of road that townsfolk usually walked past on the daily. Needless to say, the store wasn’t the most appealing from the outside. The inside however—That was something else.

You remembered visiting the bookstore with your mother once or twice. A stack of books nearly fell on you that time, and your uncle was berated rather viciously. He’d definitely made some improvements in the time you were away. The store was warm, cosy and relatively organised. The shelves were evidently a little worn from the years, but they still looked and felt sturdy to the touch. It was a welcoming environment, the interior bearing a striking resemblance to a bookstore of the early 90s.

“I’ve kept up with the times!” your uncle boasted proudly, “nowadays everyone and their mothers are all into this retro aesthetic, so I made sure to keep as much of the hip and cool retro feel.”

Your uncle definitely did his research. You couldn’t help but look upon the shelves filled with books with awe. “This is…”

“Pretty lit, am I right?” your uncle grinned. You cringed.

Your uncle frowned. “What? Did I not use the phrase correctly?”

“N-No it’s just… Ah whatever,” you muttered.

“Damn… I swear I had the meaning for that one down,” your uncle muttered, “the slang of the youth… Such an odd thing.”

After giving you a little more time to admire the place, your uncle tossed you an apron and instructed you to put it on.

“I’m alright with letting you stay with me for free,” your uncle told you as he helped you tie the strings of the apron behind your back, “but I won’t let you wallow in this post-breakup sadness all day.”

He spun you around, his hands gripping your shoulders tightly. “You just graduated from highschool, no?”

You nodded.

“Perfect, you’ll need some job experience then,” he grinned, “from now on. You’ll work for me till your stay here is over!”

And so it began. From that day onwards, you started filling shelves, dusting books, pasting on price tags and flipping through pages of books that had been sold to the store to assess the state of the book. It was far from enjoyable in the beginning. It felt akin to the life of Andy Dufrane in Shawshank redemption, the same old routine repeated day after day in what felt like an endless cycle. You were up early in the morning to open the shop with your uncle, the brown apron on your person by 7am in the morning and the door to the shop open by 9am after you were with the opening up preparations. You had to flip the plastic sign hanging on the door from “open” to “closed” every morning, and from “open” back to “closed” in the late evenings. Lunch was usually around 12pm, where your uncle would go out to one of the nearby restaurants to get lunch for the two of you. You’d sit opposite each other in the small break room that sat behind the counter, munching on whatever he bought.

Handling customers was also another gruelling task. You admittedly didn’t have a voracious appetite for books, many authors sounding foreign to you. A good majority of the books that the store had on hand were classics from esteemed authors, varying in language, length and appeal. When customers asked you what you’d recommend, you could only shrug, earning yourself a nasty gare before they walked off. When they asked about the disparity between the prices of the same book, you could only stare blankly before calling to your uncle.The store had duplicates of some books, the only thing separating the copies being the cover art or the type of book cover.

“Let me tell you something,” your uncle had told you one fine day, “hardcover books are much more valuable than the usual soft cover books. You want to know why?”

That last part wasn’t a question, rather more of a filler. Apparently, a hardcover was typically more durable, allowing it to better protect the pages within. This meant that the book would stay in better condition for longer. Ultimately, the process and materials needed for hardcover book printing were more expensive, hence this cost is passed on to readers.

“Capitalism,” you muttered, placing the hardcover version of Greek Lessons by Han Kang on the shelf.

As for the cover art��Some covers were objectively more appealing than the other, making the book more valuable. This was the case for Osamu Dazai’s No Longer Human. The two covers looked about the same to you.

On some days, you wondered how such an old secondhand bookstore could’ve lasted for so long. There were days where you only sold two books for little Won each, and those were typically on weekdays where some of the townsfolk—usually on the more elderly side—would come through the doors and browse through the books. But on the weekends, you were reminded just how hectic this place could get. The youth from the city loved to flood the shop over the weekends, making the commute from the heart of the country to this small shop in a small town to browse through the seemingly endless selection of books.The line to the counter often snaked out the door and onto the street on those days, and your fingers would be aching by the end of the day—A byproduct of gripping those handles of those paper bags while struggling to get them open.

After a week or two, you got used to the whole routine. It didn’t help to remove the monotony of your tasks however, and you often found yourself wondering how your uncle could run this place on his own for so long. With the memories of your ex still tormenting your mind, you found it hard to focus on your tasks at times. Sometimes, you just didn’t want to get up in the mornings. The dried flowers by your bedside were a constant reminder of the pain. You’d bought them for her on the day that text came, now you couldn’t let go of them.

One evening, your uncle decided to close up the shop a little earlier. It’d been a slow Wednesday, so there was no harm in resting up a little earlier than usual.

“Come with me,” he told you after he’d locked the shutter in place, “I want to take you somewhere.”

You walked up the stretch with him, walking past the rows of shophouses that lined the street. You saw bookstores that looked similar to your uncle’s a couple of times, prompting you to wonder just how many people sold secondhand books on this stretch.

He took you to a small bridge at the end of the road. It was one of those old, traditional Korean bridges with the stone tiling that arched over the water. He took you up to its apex and made you look out into the water.

“What do you see?” he asked you.

“Is this one of those stupid lectures again?” you muttered.

“Just answer me.”

You sighed. “I see the water and some trees.”

“Good. What else?” he urged.

“There’s nothing else,” you told him.

“Wrong. Look again.”

You rolled your eyes and set your sights a little further. “I see Cogongrass.”

“What else?”

You were certain that this was one of his stupid little talks again. “Just tell me what you want to say, uncle!”

“Always so impatient…” he chuckled.

Gently, he grabbed your chin and tipped it up. With his other hand, he pointed out into the distance—Past the trees, water, the cogon grass and the roofs of the shophouses. There, you saw the mountains and the roads that stretched for kilometres, the faint shape of those big blue signs that pointed you in the directions to different places.

“You limit yourself to what you see in this area,” he explained, “but you fail to see past this river and this small town.”

He turned you back to face him. You were a little taller than him, so he had to look up at you. He placed both his hands on your shoulders, holding them firmly.

“You must learn to set your sights further, dear nephew,” he told you, “learn to see past the trees and the water in your mind. Then and only then, will you be able to live once more.”

The cryptic message left you admittedly puzzled on the way home. It took you some thinking to read between the lines and understand what your uncle had told you—You had to look past the memories of your ex in order to move on with your life.

“Excellent,” your uncle had praised when you knocked on his door to ask if your interpretation of his message was correct, “I hope that you can remember this. I hate to see you moping around my store. It scares my customers away too!”

Your first step in looking past the memories was to toss out the dried flowers from your bedside. Even though it was painful, you did it. You knew you needed to.

In its place by your bedside, you bought an alarm clock—one of those old ones that still used the hammers to knock the two small bells—And a framed photograph of the town. You bought both of them from one of the nice old ladies who ran a souvenir shop just down the road.

It was the start of a new beginning. It felt like you were human once more.

***

Dried Persimmon.

That was what you were munching on when you were handed your first paycheck from your uncle.

“W-Why are you paying me?” you stammered, “I-I thought this was just something to occupy my time!”

“I may be cheap, but I won’t exploit my own nephew!” your uncle laughed, “now quit sneaking snacks on your shift and get back to work!”

You knew that your uncle was generous, but you never expected him to be this generous. With a smile, you wiped the bits of the dried fruit from the corners of your lips before pocketing the envelope.

“Thanks,” you beamed. You raised the small jar of dried persimmons and asked, “want one?”

“Tsk. I’m a professional, I don’t eat on my shift,” he sneered.

“You sure?” you confirmed, “this is a fresh batch from Miss Cho’s…”

“From Miss Cho’s?” he gasped, “gimme some of that!”

You had become well acquainted with the townsfolk, especially with the ones that ran the stores on the same stretch as the bookstore. Sometimes, the sweet old ladies from down the road would come in to deliver some gifts to you and your uncle. Everyone seemed to be friends in this town. Miss Cho was one of the many townsfolk that specialised in dried goods. A sweet lady really, a little older than your mother but not as old as your uncle. Persimmons were seasonal fruits, so they were naturally high in demand in late spring.

You let your uncle take one piece of the dried fruit before closing the lid and setting it atop the table in the break room. Your uncle stepped aside to let you exit, and you went to continue your shift.

Surprisingly, it didn’t take too long to move on from your ex. Yes, you did share some fond memories with her, but you found these “core memories” made with her easy to forget. She no longer appeared in your dreams, neither did you think about her when you were going about your tasks. She’d become a distant pain, a pain that you never intend to revisit.

Once, she did happen to come by the bookstore on a weekend. She walked into the crowded store, hand in hand with a brand new boyfriend while you were calculating somebody’s purchase. You caught yourself staring at her as she browsed through the books, her boyfriend lingering close by as he read over her shoulder. It was then that your uncle firmly grabbed you by the shoulder. He’d seen pictures of her. He could recognise her on sight

“Look past the trees and the water,” he reminded you, before going back to checking out books. You tore away your gaze from them and continued with your work.

When she came out to the counter to pay, the look of shock on her face almost made you want to double over in laughter. Swiftly and wordlessly, you took her books and packaged them neatly in a bag.

“That will be forty-thousand Won ma’am,” you had smiled respectfully. She was still staring at you, her mouth open in the shape of an “o”. Her boyfriend had to pay and take the goods from you before directing her out of the store.

When they left, your uncle gave you a gentle pat on your hand. Well done was what he was trying to say.

True to your uncle’s lesson, once you had gotten over her, you felt like you were alive. You found that you quickly took a liking to this new lifestyle, immersing yourself in the wide array of books that were at your disposal and even taking home a few to read. It felt like a fresh new chapter had begun in your life, and you were more than ready to welcome its start. The monotony was now welcomed in this slower-paced segment of your life.

“By the way,” your uncle called to you as you set down a box of books. He’d just bought them off a guy moving overseas. “I have a feeling that business will start to pick up soon!’

“Why’s that?” you asked.

“You’ll see…” he smiled. He popped another dried persimmon into his mouth. “Damn! This batch is bussin!”

You cringed. You could get used to life in this small town, but you knew that you’d never get used to your uncle throwing out the slang of your generation. You wondered if he had Tik Tok on his phone or if he’d seen one too many Instagram reels.

With your box cutter, you cut open the tape that sealed the cardboard box, the one that housed the goods. You opened the box.

“The hell…” you muttered as you stared at the books within, “who did you get these off?”

“Some preschool principal. What’s up?” your uncle asked.

You produced one of the many alarmingly thin books from the box. “Hate to break it to you but… These are all children’s books.”

Your uncle was never one to swear, but he made a rare exception for that moment.

“Fuck!” he cussed rather loudly, “I should’ve asked what the contents were!”

You chuckled and placed the book back into the cardboard box. “Don’t worry uncle, we can always sell these to the daycare, can’t we?”

“Bourgeoisie scumbag! I paid a lot for that!” your uncle continued to ramble. You decided that it would be best to silently push the box into the storeroom while he let his frustrations out.

***

Dried leaves.

That's what you were sweeping when a black van rolled into the stretch of street. The front doors opened and a man and a woman stepped out. It was early autumn. The leaves of those trees that grew next to the bookstore—Once beautiful and elegant in nature—became pesky as their leaves had begun to wither and fall. Your uncle saw the mess outside the store and immediately got you to start sweeping it up. He couldn’t stand the sight of it.

You halted your broom as the man and woman approached you.

“Hello,” the woman greeted you, “is this Park’s second hand books?”

You nodded and pointed at the sign above you. The woman grinned. She turned and told the man to get the gear out.

You recognised the city accent in their voices.

The man wrapped around the vehicle and opened the trunk. You tried to look into the van but found that the tinted windows didn’t let you see anything. The man came back around, a heavy video camera—those ones they used to film movies—on his shoulder. The woman approached the door of the van and pulled it open.

Five girls got out of the van, selfie sticks with Gopros attached to the end in their hands as they filed out of the vehicle one by one. It took a moment for you to recognize the five of them, and another moment to realise that there were global superstars standing right before you.

In a wordless panic, you dropped the broom and bolted into the store. Your uncle was behind the counter, counting the bills in the cash register when you called him.

“ITZY is in front of the store!” you exclaimed. Your uncle cocked his head.

“ITZY?” he inquired, “is that a new slang or something?”

“N-No! T-Their idols, uncle! There are idols outside the door!”

It took a moment for your uncle to process what you’d said. Then, he simply smiled.

“Right… I forgot to tell you about that,” he said. He placed the bills he had been counting back into the register and walked out from behind the counter.

“Oooh… These girls are much prettier in person,” your uncle mused as he walked by. He opened the door to the store and stepped outside. You could hear his booming voice through the open door. “HELLO! WELCOME! WELCOME!”

You could hear them exchanging greetings outside the store. Hurriedly, you scanned around the store, looking for any signs of mess. There were thankfully none.

“Come in! It’s rather cold out,” your uncle said, “it’s much warmer in here!”

You quickly stood up straighter, your hands by your sides as the five ITZY girls walked through the door of the store.

“Welcome to the store!” your uncle grinned, “that over there is my nephew, he runs the place with me for now.”

The girls turned. The feeling of five pairs of eyes on you was nerve-wracking, and the two cameras that started to flank you on either side weren’t helping to ease your nerves. Where did the second camera come from? You couldn’t help but wonder.

You gulped, a tug of war between waving and bowing to the girls ensuing in your head as you stared blankly.

“He’s uh… A little shy,” your uncle chuckled. Then he gave you a look, one that said hurry up and say hello you dense child.

There was no victor in the mental tug of war. In the end, you resorted to an awkward half wave, half bow. The girls sniggered at your greeting.

Then and there, you wanted to shrink down and hide in the shelf behind you.

The woman from earlier started speaking to the girls. “This is the final place. Now, we will draw lots to see who goes where!”

She produced a handful of popsicle sticks. The girls started talking about how nervous they were, giggling amongst themselves as they started to draw the sticks one by one. Your uncle stood by the woman, a small smile on his face as he patiently awaited the result.

“Oh. Looks like I’ll be working here!” Shin Yuna smiled as she looked at her stick. You weren’t sure if it was excitement or disappointment that you heard in her voice.

“Excellent!” your uncle beamed. “How old are you?”

“Nineteen going twenty, sir!” Yuna answered bubbly.

“Ah! Looks like my nephew will have a friend of his age then!” your uncle laughed.

“E-Eh?” you blurted, “w-what’s happening?”

Your uncle walked up next to you. He put an arm around your shoulder.

“I’ll explain later,” he whispered.

Yuna giggled and cleared the hair from her face. You made eye contact with her.

She grinned.

You felt a burning sensation on your face.

***

Dried Pollack soup.

That was what you ate with your uncle as people came in to set up cameras around the store. Every corner, every angle, every millimetre was covered by at least one Gopro.

“They said in the email that it was for their Youtube,” your uncle told you, “they're gonna live in this town for a bit, work at some of the stores… Taking a break from their idol activities apparently.”

“B-But why the bookstore?” you inquired. Your uncle shrugged.

“I don’t know. They sent me a 30 page proposal that I didn’t bother to read. I figured that having idols in our store would help boost our business. Get people from other parts to come here—You know what I’m saying?”

You did not know what he was saying. The whole situation was so overwhelming. An idol working at the bookstore? For how long? What did you need to do?

A knock came on the break room door. You turned and saw a man standing there, Gopro in hand.

“Sorry to disturb you, but can I put a camera in here?” he asked politely.

Your uncle gave him a look and asked, “is that completely necessary?”

“I-I mean… If you guys are okay with it,” you replied. Your uncle sighed.

“Take the soup out,” he instructed you, “give them space to set up…”

***

A very, very dry mouth.

That's what you had when Yuna walked into the store for her first day of work.

She was tailed by one cameraman and another woman, both of them wearing the same shirt that read “JYP CREW”. You could feel the cold sweat on your palms as you handed her the apron that already had her name tag on it. With a rather apparent stutter, you welcomed her to her new job. She smiled, that radiant smile that you’d only seen on your phone screen now right before you. It sent a warm fuzz down your spine.

Your uncle showed her around, breaking down the various jobs to her as you opened up a box of books—they weren’t children’s books this time—and got to filling the shelves. You could hear every word that came out from your uncle's mouth as you explained the tasks that the idol was to undertake, as well as the opening and closing timings of the store. He finished his run down just as you finished placing the last book from the box on the shelf.

“What should I do now?” you heard her ask.

“Go help my nephew. I think he could use a hand,” your uncle replied.

“Right! On it!” came her bubbly reply.

You could feel your heart beating faster as you felt her get closer and closer.

A tap on your shoulder.

“Hello!’ she greeted you, “let’s work well together!”

You managed to sputter out something. She asked for instructions on what she should do. You blanked out for a second. Then tremulously, you reached into your apron and pulled out the second box cutter.

“U-Um,” you began. “T-There’s a box of… B-Books in the store… Just… Just uh…”

Her gaze felt piercing even though it was gentle. It’d been awhile since you’d stood before a girl this gorgeous. Your nineteen-year-old hormones were getting to you, sweat beading your forehead as you struggled to give the idol instructions.

Then suddenly, you ran away. You didn’t know why you ran, but you just ran out of the store and down the street. Getting away from the store was your main task, and you ran quite a good distance in the chilly autumn air before you finally ran out of breath. Clammy, tense and exhausted, you rested outside one of the shophouses along the stretch.

“Fuck… What’s wrong with me?” you questioned yourself. It was like you’d never talked to a girl in your life.

It only took a second or two for the adrenaline to fade. In its place came embarrassment as you buried your face in your hands. What are you doing you stupid idiot! Why did you run? You chided yourself, beating your cheek with your own palm.

You heard someone call your name. You raised your head.

“Why are you slapping yourself in front of my store?” Miss Cho inquired. She was pushing a cart full of pears. They were probably freshly harvested.

“Oh… Hey Miss Cho,” you greeted her, “I was just… I-I don’t know…”

You ended up pushing Miss Cho’s cart back up the street.

“She’s a what now?” Miss Cho pressed.

“An idol Miss Cho,” you explained. You eventually got around to telling her the reason as to why you were beating yourself in front of her shop. The concept of someone singing and dancing for a living sounded completely foreign to Miss Cho—Someone who spent most of her life drying fruits and making snacks—So you had to explain it to her.

“Ah… I remember my daughter saying something about it,” Miss Cho mused, “so… Why did you run away from her?”

“I… Don’t know,” you told her truthfully, “I guess I just freaked out.”

“Because she’s famous?” she pressed. You thought about it for a moment, then you nodded.

Miss Cho stopped addressing you for a moment to greet Mrs Han, the lady that ran one of the restaurants on the stretch with her husband. Miss Cho gave the restaurant owner a whole carton worth of pears, telling Mrs Han to make something tasty out of them before the two of you continued moving along.

“Why are you scared of an Idol?” she continued to question.

“I-I don’t know… I-I guess it’s because she’s popular and all, so I’m scared that I’ll make a fool of myself in front of her,” you reasoned.

Miss Cho hummed and nodded. “I see…”

She stopped once more, this time in front of the sweets store. You helped her pull out a crate of apples from the bottom of the stacks of pears and handed it to the store owner. Miss Cho requested for a batch of the sweets when they were ready before the two of you got to moving again.

“So… Why does this girl being this idol make her any less normal than you?” she asked.

“P-Pardon?” you stuttered, “I-I never… I never said that…”

Miss Cho chuckled, one of those nice Ahjumma laughs that could warm one’s heart. “You did not, but the way you spoke of her implied it.”

You let that sink in for a moment. Now that you thought of it, you’d made Yuna sound like some high and mighty god that could smite you with a snap of her fingers.

“Just because someone has millions of fans doesn't mean that they’re any less of a human than you and I,” Miss Cho told you, “just because someone is adored doesn't make them more superior. If that was the case, I’d be a warlord by now!”

The dried fruits specialist cackled at her own joke. She always had a tendency to do that.

“You see… The problem with fame is that everyone places you on a pedestal,” she continued, “a mistake could cost your whole reputation. A good choice could gain you more popularity. It’s a never ending game, dehumanising in the sense that these famous people can’t afford to live normal lives. Why? Because they’re not considered normal! That’s not right if you ask me…”

You were wondering where this knowledge was coming from. You made it a mental note to talk to Miss Cho a little more. Was it normal for all the old people in this town to be so wise?

The two of you finally stopped in front of the bookshop. Miss Cho instructed you to take in a crate of pears, assuring you that she could make the rest of the journey down the street herself. You waved goodbye to her and prepared to enter once more.

“Remember,” she called to you. You were just about to open the door. “That girl is human. Treat her the way you’d treat any other human.”

She left you with that nugget of wisdom before she bade you farewell and continued with her journey up the street. You sat on her words for a moment before you entered the bookstore once more.

Yuna’s head snapped towards the door when she heard the chime of the door. You made eye contact with her.

Human.

With a smile, you carried the crate into the store and asked, “pears anyone?”

***

A dry wipe.

That’s what you gave Yuna to clean the dust off the shelves. Two weeks had elapsed since she’d started working with you and your uncle. You never got used to the fact that there were always cameras around you, nor did you ever get used to the fact that the woman and the cameraman would pull you aside and ask for your opinions on Yuna as an employee every now and then. You would always try to be as honest as possible, excluding any embarrassing slip ups she made in an effort to not badmouth the girl.

Within her first week here, she’d already clocked in late once. She apologised furiously that day, working twice as hard to compensate for her mistake. Standing tall, she could reach for the things that customers couldn’t, making her a great help to the regulars. She learnt quickly, finding the most optimal way to replenish the shelves by her fourth day and figured out the best way to assess the state of the book on her fifth.

Weekends had become more packed because of her, the word that Shin Yuna from ITZY was working at the store getting out rather quickly within the first Saturday she worked here. The next day, you had a flock of Midzy’s in front of the store 3 hours before opening. You had to guide Yuna in through the back entrance to prevent her from being swarmed. While Yuna greeted her fans that came to see her in the store with a big smile, you couldn’t help but notice the hint of tiredness behind her eyes. It was like she didn’t really want to be there, but she had no other choice

Now, she was doing an excellent job getting the dust off the top shelves.

“I think that’s good enough Yuna,” you told her. She turned to look at you.

“You sure? I think it still needs one more round,” she told you.

“I’ll take your word for it,” you told her, handing her another sheet of dry wipes while you took the blackened one from her hands.

“This is great,” she told you, beginning her final round of cleaning, “it makes me feel like I’m at home again. I feel like I’m a kid.”

Here’s the thing about Yuna—Her joy was contagious. When you saw that smile on her face, you couldn’t help but smile along with her. The silliest things could make her grin, and you’d end up grinning with her even though you didn’t find it amusing. You were convinced that it was a special skill of the sort.

Yuna wiped up whatever dust she could find, leaving no stone unturned as she completed her task. It was almost closing time, a relatively slow day for the bookstore as usual. Yuna had been completing her shifts diligently, only ever disappearing for lunch and toilet breaks.

Hell… If she wasn’t some bigshot idol, I’d have her employed full-time in a heartbeat! your uncle had told you over lunch one day. You couldn’t help but agree with him.

“There! All clean!” Yuna exclaimed.

“Could you show us the cloth, Yuna?” the lady producer asked her.

For a moment, you saw a hint of annoyance behind her eyes. Then the usual, childlike wonder took its place and Yuna presented the cloth to the camera.

“Ta-da! All clean!” she beamed proudly. You politely clapped your hands in the background. The female producer gave Yuna a thumbs up before tapping the cameraman’s shoulder. “I think we can wrap up for the day.”

The two turned and walked out of the store. Yuna waited till both of them had exited before letting out a deep sigh.

“Break from idol activities? Yea right…” she muttered, stepping off the step ladder. You stretched out your hand to take the dry wipe from Yuna. She suddenly seemed to remember that you were there, and that bright smile returned to her face. She handed you the dry wipe, all bubbly and smiley.

“I’m going to wash my hands in the bathroom, boss!” she told you. You nodded and let her go. She skipped off towards the back entrance. Your uncle walked out of the storeroom. He was drenched in sweat, his green shirt turning dark under the moisture.

“Hand me a towel would you?” he requested. You quickly walked behind the counter and tossed him his slightly moist towel. He caught it, smiled, then wiped his sweaty face.

“Who knew organising could take so much out of me?” he chuckled. He looked around. “Where’s Yuna?”

“Bathroom,” you explained. Your uncle gave you his Ah I see expression. Then he took a look at his watch. “Let’s get ready to close up shop.”

You nodded and walked over to the door. As you were about to flip the sign from “open” to “closed”, you saw Yuna walking back towards the shop. You raised an eyebrow.

Coming in from the back would’ve been much quicker…

As she got closer, you could make out the tired look on her face. Then you realised that the cameraman and the female producer were following her once more. So much for wrapping up you thought to yourself as you pushed the door open.

“Yuna!” you called to her, “come in! We’re gonna start closing up!”

The weary look disappeared in a flash. Yuna smiled from ear to ear and began jogging towards the store. You found that the cameraman and producer were far from wrapping up, following the idol back into the bookshop like chicks tailing their mother.

“H-Hey um… Didn’t you guys say you were wrapping up?” you asked the producer. She turned and looked at you.

“We need as much content as we can get. Gotta keep going,” she told you. Then she left to catch up with the camera man. You were suddenly ill at ease.

They continued to follow Yuna as she assisted you and your uncle in closing up the shop. They were like shadows, tailing the idol with every move she made. There was an unmistakable look of irritance on Yuna's face, but she only let it out when her back was turned to the camera. At the end of it all, the female producer made the idol shoot a thumbs up to the camera and exclaim, “Another job well done today!”. Only when they had gotten a perfect take of that did they truly cut the camera and start packing up for the day.

“Try to be a little more energetic tomorrow,” the producer told Yuna. You were all outside the store by then. The shutter was closed and locked. The final piece of equipment had been loaded into their van.

“Got it!” Yuna beamed. The producer nodded and wordlessly got into the van with the camera man. The van pulled away, leaving the three of you to breathe in its exhaust as it became smaller and smaller.

“This street was never built for cars…” your uncle grumbled. Then he turned to Yuna and told her, “good job today. We’ll see you tomorrow!”

Yuna smiled—this time a little less bright and more weary—and bowed. “Thank you for today! I’ll see you tomorrow!”

The idol turned on her heel and walked off towards the small house that she and her members stayed in for the time being. You couldn’t help but notice the way her shoulders seemed to slump.

“Are we overworking her?” your uncle asked. He must’ve noticed too.

“I’m not sure,” you answered, “I feel like it’s not the work…”

Your uncle raised an eyebrow. “What else could wear her out today? She’s been cleaning and stacking all day!”

You pursed your lips. Then, you turned to your uncle and said, “go home without me. I need to do something.”

You set off after the idol. She hadn’t walked too far over the course of your conversation with your uncle. You caught up to her in a matter of seconds.

“Yuna!” you called her. She turned.

“Hm?” she hummed.

You stopped before her. “Could I… Take you somewhere?”

You only realised how weird that sounded after the last syllable left your mouth. Inwardly, you cringed and hoped to god that she didn’t find that creepy. Thankfully, she gave you a smile and said, “sure!”

You took her to the bridge where your uncle had imparted his wisdom upon you. The walk there was filled with awkward silence, only broken erratically by your comments on the different shops. In the chilly Autumn air, you walked side by side with Yuna till you reached your destination.

“Wow…” Yuna muttered as you stopped at the apex of the bridge, “this is…”

“It’s prettier in Spring,” you told her.

“I can imagine that,” she whispered.

She placed her hands on the railings and leaned her body weight against it. You silently stood next to her, letting her take in the breathtaking scenery without disturbance. You had a hunch—The fact that cameras were always on her had been taking a toll on the idol. You figured she needed some time away from the cameras, a moment where she didn’t have to live with the fact that she was perpetually in the frame of a lens that was recording her every move.

You didn’t know what to do when the first teardrop came rolling down her face. When her body started to shake, you started to panic internally. That wasn’t part of the agenda. You awkwardly fumbled around, patting your pockets to see if you had any tissue to give her. By the time you had pulled out the small tissue packet from your pocket, the girl was already seated on the bridge, knees tucked in and arms locked around her legs as she bawled and bawled. Awkwardly, you sat down next to her. You maintained a distance from Yuna and silently slid your tissue over to her. The last thing you wanted to do was make her feel uncomfortable in her moment of vulnerability.

You gave her time. Breakdowns like hers would never be finished in a matter of minutes, you knew from experience. The sheer internal bedlam a human could experience under certain circumstances was no joke.

It took some time, but her shoulders eventually stopped heaving so violently, her breaths becoming more uniformed in nature.

“I-I’m sorry… I-I just…” she started to apologise.

“It’s… It’s alright,” you assured her, “it… It must be tough for you.”

You gestured to the packet of tissue next to her. She gratefully accepted it, pulling out a couple of pieces to dry her eyes. There were no more words spoken between the two of you, only an odd, comfortably awkward silence in the air as you both sat with your backs to the railing. Yuna sniffled intermittently, and you could hear her drawing tissues to blow her nose.

You didn’t say anything to comfort her. But that day, you unwittingly made her start trusting you.

***

Dried apple slices.

That’s what Yuna had bought to share with you. She’d gotten them from Miss Cho’s, and had asked to eat them with you on the bridge after your shifts had ended.

“These are so good!” she exclaimed.

“Miss Cho’s family spent lifetimes perfecting their formula. It’s gotta be good,” you told her.

Yuna squealed happily as she dug her hand into the container and pulled out yet another slice. You could pinpoint the exact moment where the flavour of Miss Cho’s apple slices burst forth in her mouth. Her wide-eyed silent glee was your indication. On the railing of the bridge you sat, side by side with the idol. There was an unexplained affinity between you two since that day she cried next to you. Your interactions in the bookstore had increased, becoming friendlier in nature. It was like something suddenly clicked between the two of you.

“Man… These things make me want to live here forever!” Yuna laughed, kicking her legs like a child as she dug her hand into the container for yet another slice. You smiled as you watched her. She seemed more carefree that day.

“You’re from the city, right?” she asked you, popping another slice into her mouth.

“Yep… I’m just staying here for a while,” you explained to her.

“Don’t you have to search for a university?”

You kicked your legs and sighed. “I do… But that can always wait.”

Your truth—You didn’t want to leave this town. Life was much simpler, slower. You’d originally come here to recover, hatred and bitterness brimming in your heart. Now that it had been purged from your being, you found a connection with this humble, small town. You knew that you’d eventually have to leave, go back into the hustle and bustle of the city when you got back to your life as a city boy. You dreaded the arrival of that day.

You told this to her. A look of understanding crossed her face.

“How long have you been here?” she asked.

“Since early Spring so… About a month now?” you replied.

“Ah… And what’s this bitterness that you had?” she pressed.

You took a dried apple slice and popped it into your mouth. You munched on it a little before replying, “I had to recover from a breakup.”

Yuna chuckled. “Ah… I suppose this place seems like a nice town to get back on your feet.”

You were glad she understood you.

“You know… This spot is really something,” she told you, “it’s so beautiful and calming… I really gotta thank you for showing it to me.”

You waved it off. “No problem.”

Yuna folded one leg up. “I came here with the girls once after that evening. It was a good break.”

She sighed heavily. You wiped your hand on your jeans.

“It must be tiring,” you said.

“Hm?”

She turned to look at you intently. You stared at your sneakers. The once snow white shoes had been dirtied by gravel and all sorts of elements, but you didn’t really mind.

“It must be tough living with no breaks… I imagine it can get pretty overwhelming,” you told her. Yuna stared off into the distance for a moment.

“When they told us that we would be coming here to take a break from our idol activities, I thought that we’d actually be able to rest…” she muttered, “then we saw the cameras and got handed those damn selfie sticks… That’s when I knew that we were just making more content while we’re supposedly ‘resting’.”

You could hear the spite in her voice. Your heart went out to her.

“I hate this,” she continued, “I just want to have a moment where I’m not dancing, where I’m not singing, where I’m not being recorded by some stupid fucking camera while I keep some pretty smile on my face.”

Her truth—There were times where she wondered whether the idol life was meant for her. While they existed, she couldn’t recall the last moment where she was just Shin Yuna, a regular nineteen year old girl finding her way in life. She liked the bookstore, it made her feel human. While she was going about her tasks, the sheer monotony of it all brought some semblance of regularity into her life. For a rare moment, she wasn’t just some money making machine for a company, she was just a regular human, like you. It gave her an unexplainable joy, a joy that was quickly stripped away when she turned and saw a camera being pointed right at her.

She told you this in hew own words. You bit your bottom lip.

“But of course, I can’t let that show, can I?” she laughed bitterly, “gotta be pretty preppy princess Yuna. Can’t be angry, can’t be annoyed, allowed to cry only in concerts or in interviews… Fuck all this idol shit.”

Her life didn’t sound as great as you’d imagined. You admittedly thought that many idols lived in luxury, showered with love and attention from fans worldwide while earning big bucks doing what they always aspired to. In reality, their lives were the most cruel and unforgiving, an endless cycle of practice, classes and content. They were always being watched and monitored. They maintained a happy, cheerful image for their fans, but deep down they just want to take a break for some time before coming back to this life of theirs. It sucked. It sucked big time, but they all lived with it.

The harm that humans could bring upon each other was frightening, yet the world was as such.

“I think you’re incredibly strong Yuna,” you voiced your sincere thoughts, “it takes a lot to be you. I don’t think many people can confidently look me in the eye and tell me that they’re fine with being watched twenty-four-seven, let alone pretend like everything is great with their life when it really isn’t.”

There was a moment of silence.

“Thank you,” she whispered, “I… I think I really needed to hear that. You summed it up really well.”

She shot you a sincere smile. You chuckled softly and scratched the nape of your neck. There was a warm sensation on your face.

“You’re… Welcome I guess?” you told her. She laughed at that.

“You’re funny,” she remarked, “I like your company.”

The warmth on your face was now more of a burning sensation. You looked down at your sneakers, feeling a grin plastered on your lips. Her smile was as contagious as her joy.

“How… How long are you guys gonna be here for?” you asked her.

“I forgot... I only know that we’ll go back for Chuseok, then come back here for a few more weeks. We’ll be out of here by the middle of November if I recall correctly, then back to comeback preparation in early Winter,” she replied.

Time was a funny thing. It could go by so fast when you wanted it to be slow, but it could also drag on like a snail when you wanted it to be a rabbit. Time was a wave, almost cruel in its relentlessness.

In your heart, you prayed that Yuna’s time in this town wouldn’t be fleeting. In your heart, you prayed that time could show mercy on this girl.

***

Dried anchovies.

That’s what your uncle needed from Miss Lee, the general store owner, to cook the stew for that night's dinner. You shrugged on your jacket that evening and headed down to go buy what was needed. Mrs Lee greeted you with the usual warm smile, though you could tell that the Gopro on the counter was making her ill at ease.

The ITZY girls were there, talking amongst themselves as a camera man and a different lady producer stood behind them. You did your best to slip by undetected, snagging the bag of dried anchovies and a bottle of water without being spotted. You didn’t know that they’d follow them till this late.

You paid for the good and exited quietly. On the way back, you felt a hand on your shoulder. You spun around to come face to face with Yuna.

“Hey,” she beamed. She must’ve seen you. How did she get out?

“Oh. Hey,” you smiled back.

“Can we meet at the bridge later? I’d like to get some fresh air after my dinner,” she requested.

You smiled and agreed. You set a time, then split off in your own separate ways to go about your evenings. You couldn’t really focus on your uncle’s rambling that night, you mind drifting to Yuna’s smile while your uncle said something about the stock market.

9pm. That was the time you’d arranged to see her. On the pretext of taking a walk, you slipped out of your uncle's house and journeyed down the street towards the bridge. She was there by the time you’d gotten there, a bright smile that could light up the darkness gracing her features when she caught sight of you. She let you walk over to her before handing you something. It felt like a stick.

“What are these?” you asked.

“Lanterns,” she answered, turning hers on, “Chuseok is coming up. The Chinese like to carry lanterns and take walks on that day. I thought we should do something while I’m still in this town, make some memories, you know?”

The lanterns she had purchased were from Mrs Lee’s general store. Mrs Lee had always been obsessed with Chinese culture, particularly in terms of decorations and practices. She sold those lanterns all year round, even though no one really bothered to buy them.

You and Yuna walked around the town with your lanterns, talking and laughing, laughing and talking… It was a night to be alive. It was nice to see Yuna in this light. You’d grown out of your 2 dimensional perception of her, discovering the multitudes she possessed. On the surface, she was simply Shin Yuna, ITZY’s maknae and visual. Beneath that, there was Shin Yuna, the nineteen year old girl who could easily make someone smile and blush. Then beneath that was Shin Yuna, a nineteen year old girl who craved regularity, a nineteen year old girl who wanted to be momentarily freed from the glitz and glam. You were happy that she trusted you enough to be comfortable around you, and you were more than happy to have that gut feeling that she was truly being herself with you.

“This town is amazing…” she remarked as you found yourselves before the bridge once more. You’d walked a full round around the town by then, lost in conversation as you took turns down the roads on a whim.

“Maybe you should just move here,” you joked.

“Oh how I wish I could!” she sighed, “everything’s so nice here… I wish I could just stay here forever…”

I wish I could stay here forever. She always had a tendency to say that. While working in the bookstore, she’d let it slip. When you were talking with her on the bridge, she’d say it at least once. She struck you as someone who was vocal with their opinions, someone who would freely speak her mind if she could. You enjoyed listening to her long, rambling talks about her various life stories. Though you could never bear to listen to such rants from your uncle, you found hers enjoyable to listen to. There was a certain way she drew you in with her voice, your attention becoming captive to her tone and intonation while she went on and on…

When you parted ways with her that night, you found that you wanted her to stay and talk with you a little longer. Of course, you never vocalised this desire. She’d already broken rules to come out and see you that night, the last thing you wanted was to get her in trouble.

As you walked home with your lantern that night, you wondered what it would be like to date a girl like Yuna.

***

Drier air.

That’s what you felt had changed that late October morning when you stepped out of your uncle’s house.

“Aish… Winter is coming already,” your uncle grumbled, “time passes so fast these days… I ought to keep a better track of it.”

It was Yuna’s final weekend in the town. She was due to leave by Tuesday next week. As expected, Midzys showed up in front of the door, prompting your uncle and you to wrap around to the back entrance, where Yuna was waiting. The female producer and the cameraman were right there with her, asking the idol some questions in front of the backdoor as you and your uncle approached. Her eyes seemed to light up upon the sight of you, the smile on her face growing wider as she waved to you.

“Yuna, focus on the interview,” the producer reminded her sternly. She quickly set her gaze back on the camera. Your uncle waited patiently for them to wrap up with their questions before opening the backdoor to the bookshop. As you walked in, Yuna walked up to your right and whispered right into your ear. “10pm. Bridge. Don’t be late.”

You’d never wanted a shift to end so badly.

That night, you met her at your usual haunt. Her smile—Usually brimming with joy—was noticeably sadder, dimmer under the moon’s beam. It felt hard to accept that her time in this town was running thin. You wished that there was a way to extend your fleeting time with this woman, find a way to make some more memories with her. Alas, time could only move forward at a rate unknown to you. Autumn was slowly becoming Winter, and Yuna would soon be gone from this town. Every moment was now more precious than ever.

The truth you kept to yourself—Though your heart fluttered around her, you knew that you and her could only remain in this stage of friendship. Progressing forward to a new stage of a relationship would be hard. You could only hold on to her as a friend, hoping that she wouldn’t forget you when she returned back to the big city.

The two of you stayed out late that night, eating dried fruits from Miss Cho’s and drinking some Makgeolli that Yuna had bought and snuck out.

“My last day as a human,” she told you that night while cracking open the bottle, “then it’s back to being a doll…”

Human… Why could she never seem to prove to everyone else that she was human as well? The fame, the shining lights, the pedestal that she’d been placed on… They all created a false image for her. It brought forth a notion—She was privileged, someone who could receive the attention of fans and brands alike. There was no room for blemishes, her body “perfect” and her personality flawless. She had to accept all that, live with it without a fuss or hassle.

When she rambled about this, tears flowed freely from her eyes—Years of pent up anger, sentiments of unfairness and many other emotions coming forth in moonlit steaks that ran down her face. You poured her another glass of Makgeolli. She tossed it back to soothe the pain.

“You know… I always feel so comfortable with you,” she whispered, “it’s like I’m talking to an old friend… Someone who actually understands me.”

Under the stars that night, the two of you admittedly got a little tipsy on the bridge. Under the stars that night, Yuna had let slip her true feelings towards you. Under the stars that night, you two shared a kiss, one that would change the complexity of your relationship, spurred by the raw emotions of the night that had manifested through the catalyst that was alcohol.

As your fingers ran through her hair and her hands held on to your waist, she leaned on your shoulder and whispered some words into your ear. They weren’t words that you wanted to hear, but you knew that you’d just have to accept them.

It pained the both of you to know that you could never truly love each other the way you wanted to. The expectations of her company and of society set a boundary, one that kept you two so far yet so close. While you saw her as a regular human, she still had to abide by the rules and regulations of the company that controlled her. Those rules defined her, the regulations moulding her into something no longer human. It made her life strict and unforgiving.

She was like an unwilling puppet, trying in vain to resist the commands of those who had power over her. A sisyphean task it proved to be.

To them, she was an idol. And according to them—Idols and humans were not to love each other.

***

Dried flowers

That was what you held behind your back that morning where you saw the ITZY girls off. You and your uncle waited outside the house they stayed in, dried flowers tucked away behind you. Then they came out. The five of them, rolling out their luggages, dressed warmly to combat the rapidly dropping temperature. She caught sight of you. A sad, warm, gentle smile crossed her face. The bosses of the shops that the girls had worked for respectively had all come to bid farewell to them, giving you some time to talk to her one last time. The goodbyes were tearful, full of hugs and “I’ll miss you”s. Yuna gave your uncle a hug, then she turned to you. Surprisingly, neither of you shed a tear as you stared at each other.

You produced the dried flowers that you’d gotten from the florist and presented them to her.

“They’re beautiful,” she whispered as she accepted them.

“Glad you like them,” you replied, “try and keep them alive okay?”

She stared up at you for a moment.

When the first teardrop rolled down her face, you didn’t hesitate to pull her into a hug. She cried into your chest, a million and one apologies bursting forth as she held you tight. It was as if it was her fault that the two of you could not start a proper relationship. It was as if you’d disappear if she didn’t hold you as tight as she could.

When it was time to go, you dried her eyes to the best of your ability. She gripped the dried flowers tight, a grim look on her face as she said, “I’ll take some time to think about us… When we meet again, I’ll tell you what you mean to me. We can go off from there.”

You smiled. “Alright then, I’ll wait.”

She fiddled with the wrapping of the dried flowers.

“Till then,” Yuna requested, “could I be selfish and ask you to hold on to these feelings?”

You smiled and assured her that you’d try to. When we meet again, I’ll let you decide if we should kiss or not, she told you.

In the cold morning air, you made a then-and-there decision to share one last kiss with her, not caring about the fact that staff and her other members were present at the scene. As the van took her away from the town, your uncle placed a firm hand on your shoulder.

“Are you going to be okay?” he asked you.

You wiped a tear from your eye and whispered, “I hope those dried flowers won’t die as quickly as they did last time.”

***

The cold snap hit when you came back to the town. A fresh, fluffy and thick sheet of snow covered the streets. Your boots made a satisfying crunch with each step you took, the frigid winter air biting your face as you hurried towards the bookstore. All around you, people walked up and down the street. City people—you recognised their accents.

You found it hard to adjust back to life in the city. The roar of the traffic was jarring, making you yearn for the quiet of the town streets. The pavements were jam packed with people, making you long to return to the empty streets of your uncle's humble town. The subway was packed like sardines, making you think about the times where you could get to wherever you wanted on foot. It was safe to say that you had some forms of withdrawal symptoms, but you eventually got over it. Then university came. The workload was immense, the readings mountainous. It took you some time to figure out a way to efficiently cover all the content you needed to, but you eventually found your footing. You were in your last year now. Time was truly so fleeting, a wave, almost cruel in its relentlessness.

Now that you were back in this familiar place, a sense of comfort filled your being. Not much had changed over the course of your four year absence. Aside from the fresh coats of paint and increase in tourists, everything was just as they were when you left.

The bookshop was teeming with life when you entered. You were pleasantly surprised. You remembered your uncle telling you about how good the winter crowds were, but you ever imagined it to be this good. You hurriedly removed your scarf and coat before approaching the counter. There, your uncle was busy packing book after book into paper bags. You hung your coat on the coat rack and grabbed an apron.

“I’m back,” you said, taking your place next to your relative. Your uncle cast a glance towards you.

“I’ll greet you later. Busy now,” he mumbled. You chuckled and tied the strings of your apron behind your back.

It didn’t take long before you settled back into that old rhythm—Open, pack, take the bills. Open, pack, take the bills. It brought an odd sense of joy into your heart. You’d missed the monotony of this life.

The bookstore closed a little later that day. You waited till the last customer had slipped out into the cold evening air to flip the sign from “open” to “closed”. Then you shut the door behind you.

“I should really employ a part timer,” your uncle mused. He beat his lower back with a clenched fist. “The crowds are only growing these days… I’ll need some help.”

Then he waddled over you. With a warm smile, your uncle pulled you into a warm embrace.

“Welcome back, nephew. It’s good to see you again.”

You hugged him back. The usual old people's statements ensued—How have you been? You’ve grown taller! Jeez… You’ve gotten a little more plump! Have you been eating well? The same old questions were hurled at you. You were happy to answer them all.

You helped your uncle close up shop for the day. To celebrate your return, he took you down to Mrs Han’s to have a barbeque. The restaurant owner greeted you with her wrinkly, warm smile and welcomed you back to town. The meat was fresh, well marbled and tender. Freshly imported Mrs Han had told you, they just came in today! You came back at the right time!

It was safe to say that your belly was filled that night. Mrs Han had kindly put the cost of the meal on the house, and your uncle hurried you out of the restaurant when you insisted on paying.

“It’s rare for her to be this generous. Accept it while you can,” he told you. You rolled your eyes. He was as thrifty as always.

Your uncle took you to the bridge that night. Proper lighting had been installed on it, small yet powerful lamps illuminating the path as you and your uncle stood side by side on the apex of the bridge. The river was frozen over, the trees around it bald and bare.

“You should’ve came back in the spring,” he remarked, “there were more flowers this time. It was beautiful.”

“I can imagine that,” you replied.

Your uncle sighed heavily, a sizable cloud forming before his face. “You know… She came back this spring.”

“Is that so?” you replied alarmingly calmly. Your voice betrayed your emotions. It felt like a small ball was caught in your throat. “How is she?”

“She seems alright, definitely grew a few centimetres,” he told you.

“Is she healthy?” you pressed.

“She definitely looked a little more plump in the face. She’s seemed a lot stronger,” your uncle replied.

Silence hung between the two of you. Then your uncle inquired, “You never managed to see her in the city, did you?”

You lowered your gaze to the frozen water.

“No…” you grimaced, “I… I could never find a way to see her.”

The truth—It felt like fate was against you. You could never secure a ticket to any of her performances, nor could you ever get into any of her fanmeets—Online and physical. You never expected that you’d face such difficulty in trying to see Yuna, but you persevered nonetheless. When the university workload came in however, you found your free time had been stripped from you, tossed out to the wind as assignment after assignment plagued your days. Yuna couldn’t be your top priority no matter how much you wanted her to be. You didn’t know why the idea of getting her phone number never crossed your mind while she was with you. Then again, exchanging phone numbers could have landed her in trouble…

You told this to your uncle. He nodded silently.

“I guess we were never meant to be a thing,” you whispered dejectedly, “I was a fool to hold on to those memories”

Your uncle sighed and patted your shoulder. “Some memories never heal. Rather than fading with the passage of time, those memories become the only things that are left behind when all else is abraded…”

“Han Kang,” you muttered. It was one of the quotes from her book Human Acts. You had a paper on that book coming next term. Your time at the bookstore made you discover your love for books, hence you pursued a degree in Literature in university.

“You remember,” your uncle chuckled. It was one of the first books that he’d made you read. “Your memory serves you well, nephew.”

The quote he’d recited could be interpreted in many ways. In the context of the book, the protagonist spoke of their memories in the bloody Gwangju massacre in 1981. The sights, sounds and horrors left them scarred for life, so scarred that they’d take them to the grave—hence the usage of heal in memories never heal. Healing meant forgetting.

For you, healing meant forgetting too. The only difference—You didn’t want to heal. You wanted to keep those memories carved into your brain, make them a permanent part of your being. You wanted to ingrain that smile in your vision, keep that voice playing on loop in your ears. You were more than willing to take those memories to your grave.

“First a breakup, now this,” you muttered, “am I not built for love, uncle?”

“Everyone is built for love,” came his instant reply, “it’s just a matter of finding the right person to receive love from.”

The right person…

Your parents were meant to follow you on this visit back to the town, but last minute work held them up in the city. They’d found an Airbnb house in the town for the three of you, but now you had it to yourself. As you laid down on the bed, you found that the silence was deafening.

Silently, you wondered what’d be like to date a girl like Yuna. She felt like the right person.

Maybe all of those emotions were just teen hormones. Maybe the feelings were just bright out in the heat of the moment. Maybe you didn’t actually love her, maybe it was more of an infatuation. It all sounded logical and reasonable to you.

Yet when you saw her again, all of that no longer seemed to make sense.

There she stood in the cold winter morning, scarf around her neck and a pair of earmuffs atop her head. In her gloved hands, a bright pink tote bag, a bouquet of flowers sticking out from the opening. She stood before the store, staring at the closed shutter, mouth parted ever so slightly. Her hair—Red when you first saw her—Had been returned to its natural colour. She was as beautiful as the day you said goodbye to her.

You swore that your eyes were deceiving you. When she turned her head, you were convinced that her jaw dropped open as wide as yours when the two of you locked eyes.

Then in the next moment, she was in your arms. She had her ear pressed to the left side of your chest, as if she needed to hear your heartbeat to verify that you were truly there.

“Hey,” was all you could manage.

“Hi,” she whispered back, “it’s been awhile.”

Her eyes gleamed with the same childlike wonder. Her smile was as genuine as you’d remembered. You wanted to kiss her to see if her lips would feel the same, but…

When we meet again, I’ll tell you what you mean to me. We can go off from there…

She did give you the freedom of choice to kiss her when you reunited, but you decided against it.

Catchup was done in the warm respite of the bookstore. With aprons adorning your bodies, you filled each other in on what you’d missed in each other's lives. This was all done to the backdrop of filling in shelves and rearranging stacks of books. Lunch came and your uncle left the two of you on your own. You got some tteokbokki with her from Mrs Han’s—to go of course—and hit your old spot.

“Even without the leaves, this place is still so stunning,” she mused, staring out at the frozen water.

“I still prefer it in Spring,” you told her, “I like it better when the trees are less… Bald.”

She laughed at that.

When the sun started to set on the small town, your uncle made the executive decision to close up early. The sun may be gone, but the night is young he told you with a wink. You gave him a grateful smile and took off your apron. He let the two of you go off early that day.

Dinner that night was once again at Mrs Han’s, and she wasn’t so generous that night. A walk around town was what she asked for afterwards, both of your footsteps seemingly synchronised to produce rhythmic crunches in the snow. At one point, she’d stopped walking to gather up a handful of snow, forming a hefty snowball to chuck at you. You didn’t hesitate to fight back.

“University sounds tough,” she mused, munching on some grapes from Miss Cho’s.

“I think it’s just my course,” you remarked, “the rest of my batchmates seem to be having a relatively good time.”

“Literature is demanding,” she agreed, “but what do you wanna do with it in the future?”

You sighed and shoved your hands into the pockets of your jacket, “I’m still figuring that out…”

“Maybe you can become a writer,” she suggested, “write some screenplay… Make it different from the usual stuff.”

“I’d probably need to save up some money before I do that,” you chuckled, “I have a degree that guarantees a higher chance of living on the streets than living on someone’s couch.”

She laughed at that too. Then she said, “hey, maybe you should come work for my company when you’re done with university. That way, we can see each other more often too.”

You chuckled. “That’s a possibility… I’ll try and keep that in mind.”

“I’ll make sure to vouch for you,” she declared, “the big boss likes me enough to listen to me…”

You laughed and nodded. Silence hung between you two.

Then it was time for the hard question.

“So are you seeing anyone?” you asked her. Yuna licked a grape seed off her lips before answering.

“I’d like to think so…”

Your heart sank, but you still cocked your head in feigned curiosity, “oh? What do you mean?”

Yuna bit down on her lip. “I mean… I like him, but I’m not sure if he still likes me.”

“Ah,” you mused.

“Yea…” Yuna sighed. She looked up at you and asked, “what about you?”

You took a moment to formulate an answer. “I think… I’m just waiting for love as of now.”

“Ah,” Yuna parroted, “well… I wish you the best in that then.”

There was a sudden tension in the air. It was like your respective cryptic messages had conjured a rubber band of the mind, pulling it out to its maximum length as you continued your silent journey down the street. Perhaps your hopes were set a little too high—You’d expected her to remember the love that existed four years ago, run back into your open arms so that you could shower her with kisses. But you’d forgotten—No… Chose to forget what she’d told you on the bridge that night.

I love you. I know that it’s too late for this, but I love you. I’m sorry we can’t love in the same way others do, but do know that deep down, I wish to love you in the same manner that you love me. It’s confusing, I know… But my life doesn’t allow us to share the life we want to. I’m sorry.

It was a painful thing to hear, but you still kissed her right afterwards, and you still kissed her the morning after. You now realised that perchance, you’d gambled a little too much, gone all in with the chips of your heart only to lose. You didn’t understand why she couldn’t date freely, be with someone that truly made her happy. She was a human, a human deserved to give love and be loved.

She got a call a few minutes later. It’s my manager. I gotta go now.

She gave you a small wave, handed you the last few grapes from the container. Then, with a it was nice seeing you again, Yuna turned on her heel and walked off. The grapes felt oddly heavy in your hands. Again, she was to disappear from your life. Like grains of stars in an infinitely expanding galaxy, she spilled through the gaps between your fingers once more. This felt like a scenario you’d read in books a thousand times over, and frankly, it sucked.

But happiness is being able to hope, however faintly, for happiness. So, at least, we must believe if we are to live in the world of today.

Osamu Dazai had said that. You weren’t sure why you thought of it as you watched her back get smaller and smaller by the second.

Hoping faintly for happiness? Is that what I’m meant to do? You asked yourself. She was getting further by the second. Hoping faintly for a chance that she’d turn back, you stood there. She never did.

Hoping faintly…

No. You wouldn’t settle for that.

The grapes fell from your hands as you ran towards the girl that you’d so hoped to see again. Four long years you’d tried and failed. Now, with the opportunity right in your grasp, you were certain that you had to make something out of it.

In three more bounds, you were right behind her. Yuna you called, grabbing her by the shoulder. You didn’t give her time to say anything before you turned her around and planted your lips on hers. She yelped, her body tensing as you held her cheeks in the cradle of your palms.

A quiet smack resonated when your lips parted. Yuna trembled in your grasp, teary eyes gazing into yours.

“I’ve been waiting for your love Yuna,” you admitted to her, “for four years, I tried to see you again but I just never could. We said that we wanted to sort out what we meant to each other when we met again, but we failed to do that today. Tell me Yuna—What am I to you?”

She let out a shuddery breath, the smell of grapes saturating the air.

“I-I have to go,” she muttered.

You were tired of waiting.

“Yuna please,” you begged.

She looked away, as if contemplating if she should give you her answer.

“You… You are who I want to love,” she whispered, “I-I thought that… Maybe I was too selfish to ask you to keep loving me for all these years. I-I guess I didn’t expect this selfishness to be rewarded.”

“It isn’t selfish,” you corrected her, “it’s… It’s human Yuna. The desire to want someone to keep loving you, that’s human.”

Her lower lip trembled ever so slightly. “Right… I can only feel like a human when I’m with you.”

Suddenly, nothing else in the world seemed to matter. You pulled her in once more, holding her as tight as she did on the day she left your life. You kissed her, tender and passionate as she gripped the fabric of your jacket. Her perfume was sickly sweet, intoxicating and lulling you deeper into her body as she reciprocated the kiss. Her hair, cold and slightly damp from the snowball you threw at her, was silky, smooth to run your fingers through. The repeated dying of it had definitely affected its quality, but only in the slightest.

Her voice was strained when your lips parted, but you could clearly make out what she’d said.

I don’t want to go back tonight. I want to be here with you.

When the first teardrop rolled down her cheek, you didn’t hesitate to wipe it away.

“You’d be breaking some rules won’t you?” you questioned.

“I’ve broken them before. I can always break them again,” she replied, “humans were made to break some rules after all…”

With a smile, you let your hand slip into hers. It was warm, just like any other human. In her eyes, there was a gleam that every other human could possess. In her smile, there was a sincerity and joy that any other human could show. Sure, the Dispatch article that posted the photo of you kissing Yuna did call it the unexpected relationship between a top idol and a civilian.

But in your eyes, Yuna was as human as anyone could ever be.

Dried things and humanity—An unlikely combination for a love story, but it was certainly fit to start the first chapter of your story with Yuna.

_______________________

Hello! A rare, smutless Yuna fic has mad its way onto my blog. I know it'll disappoint a lot of you guys, but this is what I wanted to write, so here we are. Hope you guys enjoy this one. Take a break from the horny and have some simple love <;3.

~Lots of love, Nichuuu

#shin yuna #itzy yuna #fanfic #writing #kpop #fluff #itzy fluff #kpop fluff

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neuvistar · 1 year

Text

HONKAI STAR RAIL MEN AS FATHERS! pt two.

— featuring ┊luocha, welt, sampo koski x fem!reader (all separate)

— warnings / content warnings ┊hsr men as fathers pt 2 !! mostly fluff, not proofread, mentions of pregnancy i think?? i forgot, them being absolute sweethearts, DILFS DILFS DILFS! overall just fluff | pt one here. (jing yuan, blade, dan heng, gepard) pt three. (aventurine, dr ratio, argenti, sunday, boothill, gallagher)

— a/n ┊PART TWO OF THE HSR PAPAS!!! luocha n jing yuan prettiest dilfs i’ve ever seen foreal no one can convince me otherwise!

best papa #1 luocha

— LUOCHA would be a loving doting father, i feel like he’d have two boys and one girl (jesus christ) and his two boys would look exactly like him, long blonde hair n same features aaahh ALSO HIS LITTLE PRINCESS WOULD HAVE HER DADDY’S EYES IM CALLIN IT RN! in conclusion his kids would look majestic just like their papa ! when he had his first child he probably shed a tear or two, holding him carefully in his arms :(( he’s a natural dad like jing yuan, it’s like he immediately knew what to do and was a natural at everything! by the time his third child was born he got the hang of taking care of his kids <33

— LUOCHA who’s children got injuries sm as kids n he was always there to aid them <3 during games he would participate in, there would probably be a time where one of them got hurt ATLEAST once, like his son falling over one time n luocha hastily walking over to him and picking him up from the ground + he’s the type to kiss their booboos once he helped disinfect it, putting a bandaid wherever they got injured and kiss it better :(( his children r so lucky to have a father who has good medical skills foreals crying emoji + it’s not only for this, he’s always willing to nurse them back to health!

“does that feel better?”

“m—mhm..” his son nodded, wrapping his small arms around him, sobbing quietly against his neck

“there there, no need to cry my angel. daddy already kissed your boo-boo, you’ll be alright.”

— LUOCHA who would take such good care of his children whenever they were sick, he was a natural at this due to his awesome amazing medical skills! he knew exactly what to do and what to give them, he’s such a caring father it’s insane it’s fun cuz y’all don’t even have 2 go to the doctor to check what’s wrong with your kids, luocha would know what’s going on! a fever? a cold? he knows! and he’s always nursing them back to health like i said !

— LUOCHA who would teach his children about medicine, i feel like all three of his children would have different dreams they wanted to pursue but i feel like his daughter would be interested in medicine just like he is, he found it adorable how she would play with her dolls and pretend to be their doctor, it’s so adorable to see his kids pursuing different dreams and him supporting every single one of them, he’s so chill hearts emoji

— LUOCHA would try his best to be there for his kids. because he’s a merchant, he tries his best not to be absent and wants to be there in their lives :(( he wants to see his kids grow up, y’know??? he loves them sm, and he loves YOUUU <3 i bet he takes his kids out from time to time so he could make new memories with them they could carry with them for the rest of their lives, he knows life is short, yes. that’s why he’s trying to live his life to the fullest with his family, he knows one day he won’t always be there to scoop them back up from the ground to aid their injuries :((

best papa #2 welt

— WELT would be a great father, he’s a lil strict on some ends but he’s not SEVERELY strict, i think he’ll have two sons (maybe a daughter too who knows) he made a promise to himself he’ll protect his two kids until the end of time :(( his sons would have their daddy’s eyes, and some features of him too! but they mostly look like their mommy sososweet

“look, they have daddy’s eyes.”

“do they?”

“mhmmm.. look at him, he looks just like you”

(his heart is slowly starting to melt as u speak)

— WELT who would give one of the best hugs, i feel like he’s that type of dad who’s serious like half of the time but whenever he’s with his family or spending time with his sons, he’s always willing 2 show a smile or two, but back onto it! he gives the best hugs, his favourite thing to do is hug his sons and kiss the temple of their foreheads before he goes out, he may be serious and a lil strict.. but he loves his sons just as much as he loves anything else, behind that strictness he rlly does love a good hug from his sons

— WELT who would bring his wife and kids along to the astral express, it’s so cute bc imagine seeing two pudgy wudgy little babies crawling around, i bet himeko would unofficially be their godmother too LMFAO <33 when they grow into toddlers, his sons would love bothering him at work, climbing on his leg and climbing on his desk, he doesn’t mind it it’s acc so surprising how he manages to keep a straight face! and when he wants to calm them down, he just sets both of them on his lap

“settle down. let papa finish this, okay?” he would pick them up, his sons giggling as they help him work along the way (😭😭😭)

— WELT who works at the astral express a lot so he doesn’t see his kids much :(( but he always comes home to you and them with gifts and souvenirs from other worlds! his kids would always run to him and hug his leg, welt scooping them up with a smile on his face ;; AAAA SO SO SO CUTE!

“papa! papa papaaaa!”

“did you miss me?” the two boys ran to their dad, hugging his leg as welt picked them up from the floor squeezing them into a hug “i got a few things for you both.”

“what is it what is it?!”

“i want to see, papa!”

“alright alright, settle down now. it’s a surprise, you’ll have to behave and guess first.”

— WELT who would give his sons advice on how to be better people, his advice is always so firm and straightforward.. he wants them to be gentlemen, he wants them to be the best they can be! he would teach them exactly how 2 be gentlemen, he would raise his sons to be one of the most respectful and kindest ppl ever <33 when they mature and shape into those kind of ppl one day, sometimes he looks back to when he was still able to carry them around like it was nothing :(( he knows his children r growing up and deep down inside he doesn’t want them to, he truly does love and cherish his sons, he’s so glad he was able to shape his sons into good ppl just like he wanted <33

best papa #3 sampo

— SAMPO is one of the most fun and uplifting dads out of everyone, i’m calling it rn he’s a girl dad n has a daughter, i’m calling that rn! he’s such a fun dad to have, like having him as a dad means everyday is never boring, he always makes everything fun! (u cant tell me that he doesn’t love making dad jokes during dinner in the dinner table, he absolutely loves making them it’s so funny)

— SAMPO who would let his daughter do anything with him, oh she wants to play dress up? he’s putting on a dress that can barely fit him rn! she wants to have tea with her plushies? he’s already setting up the tables, she wants to put makeup on his face and nail polish on his nails? he’ll let her! he’s such a fun girl dad, always willing 2 do what his daughter wants to do :((

“stay still, daddy! i’ll mess up if you keep moving around!” his daughter would pout, holding her mommy’s makeup in her tiny little hands

“sorry princess, the brush is ticklish. gotta’ be more gentle with me, yeah? you’re grabbin’ and brushin’ at my face too roughly” he chuckled, patting her back

“sorry daddy, i just want to make you look pretty! now, still please!” she’s so sassy just like he is, but he loves her sm!

— SAMPO would be such a dumbass. first things first, he has this issue with losing his daughter from time to time at amusement parks or places in general, always finding her crying alone and having to scoop her up in his arms apologizing and showering her with kissies + second he can’t even help her with her homework from school because he “doesn’t remember doing this” he would be complaining more than her! skull emoji it would always be HER teaching him instead of HIM teaching her LMFAOO

“why’re there s’many numbers here, angel?! this is what you learn everyday?”

“do you seriously not know how to do this?” you raised a brow.

“ you can’t blame me! i ain’t ever got good grades, can’t even remember how to calculate nine times ten!”

“you’re lying.”

“.. yeah i am. but there’s so much numbers, babe! look! this is what our princess has to deal with!”

— SAMPO who would show off his daughter to everyone, bragging about her accomplishments and bragging about how lucky he is to be her father, he’s so stupid it’s hilarious he absolutely loves his little princess sm !! he never shuts up abt how much he loves her and how proud he is w how far she’s come in life, he’s just thankful to have a family that’s all :(( he’s such a sweetheart he’s always so proud and supportive hashtag girl dad

— SAMPO who probably has social media accounts dedicated to his whole family, his wife and his little angel <33 he would absolutely love posting pictures of his family all together + his family in general, his phone would be filled with videos of his daughter from loooong ago, showing her the video and teasing her about it! he almost never deletes pictures of his daughter and you from his phone, he cherishes his family sm n it absolutely shows, always vlogging from time to time n documenting his life w you and his princess <33 HES SO ADORABLE IT HURTS MY HEART ALMOST

#ᖭི༏ᖫྀ maryse’s diary ૮꒰˶˃̵ ^ ˂̵˵꒱ა #hsr : papas ! ♡#hsr papas : luocha ! ♡#hsr papas : welt ! ♡#hsr papas : sampo ! ♡#luocha fluff #welt fluff #sampo fluff #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail fluff #sampo <33 #hsr fluff #luocha <33 #luocha x reader #welt x reader #sampo x reader #welt <33 #i acc worked so hard on this foreal

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corroded-hellfire · 1 year

Note

Congratulations on reaching 2k followers :) Could I possibly request maybe one of Eddie’s fantasies of babysitter reader pre As You Wish?

I would just like to say that AYW is now officially my favorite verse to write smut in, so thank you for this request lol.

In the same universe as As You Wish

Warnings: smut, p in v, unprotected (wrap it up), oral m and f receiving, male masturbation, breeding kink

Words: 4.6k

The highlight of Eddie’s day was coming home from work. Hands down, it was the part of the day that consistently brought him the most joy. He enjoys his job, likes his coworkers, and takes pride in his work, but coming home to his kids beats all. There was another reason Eddie loved walking into the house after work, but he’d never admit it to anyone. He’s still barely able to admit it to himself without his stomach twisting with guilt, but when he walks in the front door and sees you there, he feels like a teenager coming face to face with their crush. The smile you always give him when he comes home makes his knees feel weak and he swears he forgets his own name. Truthfully, he didn’t even feel this way as an actual teenager when he started dating Brittany.

Eddie pulls onto his street, eyes hungrily searching for your used gold Hyundai Elantra in his driveway. But it’s not there. Instead, Brittany’s red Toyota Camry sits in its place. Eddie lets out an audible groan as he pulls up next to it in the driveway. Why couldn’t this be a day she got out of work early but decided to go to one of her boyfriends’ places? It sounds twisted, even to him, that he’d prefer his wife went to see one of the many guys that she’s having an affair with rather than be home, but this had been going on for so long that Eddie couldn’t find it in himself to care anymore. He couldn’t even pinpoint when he stopped loving her, but she certainly made it easy to stop.

Taking a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for seeing the witch, he gets out of the car and heads to the front door. It’s chaos when he steps inside. Luke and Brittany can be heard down the hallway, screaming at one another, and Ryan is sitting on the floor of the living room with the television volume turned up an ungodly amount – probably to drown out the fighting.

“Daddy!” Ryan calls, getting up off the floor and throwing himself at his father. Eddie is covered in grease and oil – more so than usual – but he can tell Ryan needs comfort and that’s worth having to scrub extra hard at the little boy’s clothes to get the stains out. He scoops his son up in his arms, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Hey, buddy. What’s going on?” he asks.

“Mom’s mad cause Luke backtalked,” Ryan says.

Eddie sighs and nods his head. “Okay. You finish your homework?”

The question makes Ryan smile. He proudly tells his dad that he did – with your assistance. The mere mention of your name has Eddie smiling as well as desperately wishing he’d gotten to see you before you left.

“Turn the tv down, okay, bud?” Eddie asks as he sets his oldest son down. Ryan agrees with a nod of his head, going to do as his father asked. Eddie lets out another sigh as he makes his way down the hallway, where he can now tell the shouting is coming from Luke’s room.

“You will not talk to your mother that way!”

“You yelled at me first!”

“That doesn’t give you the right to scream at me!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Eddie says as he walks into the room. “What’s going on?”

Luke immediately runs over and hugs Eddie’s leg, hiding his head behind his father’s body. Eddie pats his son’s head and raises his eyebrows at Brittany.

“Your son,” she starts off, already boiling Eddie’s blood, “thinks it’s okay to back-talk me.”

“I just said I didn’t want veggietables with dinner!” Luke shouts, not meaning to yell, just trying to be heard over his mother.

Brittany throws her hands in the air as if this was some grave sin that the little boy committed. It’s another moment where Eddie’s torn. Parents are supposed to have a united front against their kids, but what is he supposed to do when his wife is batshit crazy?

“Luke, we’re going to have vegetables with dinner,” Eddie tells him, running his fingers through the boy’s curls. “Go play with Ryan in the living room, okay?”

The five-year-old doesn’t hesitate, taking the chance to escape the room and get away from his mom. Eddie rests his hands on his hips, widening his eyes as he looks at Brittany.

“What the hell, Britt?”

She rolls her eyes and pushes past Eddie out of the room. Eddie pinches the bridge of his nose before following her out and into their shared bedroom.

“You always take their side,” Brittany huffs out.

“Am I supposed to yell at a five-year-old little boy because he doesn’t want to eat vegetables for dinner?”

“You should take my side!” she yells.

“But you’re wrong.”

She lets out a groan and rifles through her nightstand before pulling out a tampon, shoving it in Eddie’s face instead of a finger like she usually would, as she continues her tirade. “I don’t need to take this from all of you! Men.”

Well, the tampon explained why she wasn’t visiting one of her boyfriends right now. Eddie knew better than to blame any of her sour mood on her period though; she’s always like this.

“Didn’t you send the other woman who was here home?” Eddie asks sarcastically as he gathers some fresh clothes to change into.

“Ugh, her,” Brittany huffs, and this seems to piss Eddie off most of all. “If the kids didn’t like her so much – and I still don’t understand why they do – she’d be long gone.”

“Why?” Eddie asks, too dumbfounded to add anything beyond that.

“She’s too…” Brittany trails off.

Kind? Smart? Beautiful? Funny? Good with the boys? Not demonic like you? Eddie’s mind finishes for her.

“Annoying,” Brittany finishes. Eddie rolls his eyes as he swipes up a pair of boxers. He bites his tongue, a million acidic things wanting to spill from his mouth.

“Whatever,” Eddie settles on. “I’m going to take a shower.”

“Guess I’m making dinner?” Brittany asks.

“You were home first!” He takes a deep breath to calm himself. There’s no point trying to argue or reason with her. He’ll never win. “You can make dinner, order a pizza, or I can make dinner when I’m out of the shower.”

He doesn’t give his wife a chance to answer, walking out of the bedroom and locking himself in the bathroom. Eddie tosses his clothes on the counter and runs his hands over his face, letting out a deep groan. Making sure the water is turned up all the way to scalding, Eddie strips himself of his clothes and steps into the shower. The hot water runs over his tense muscles, managing to relax him a bit as dirt and grease begin to lift away. He grabs the bar of soap, the lavender smell meeting his nose as he rubs it over his body.

Fuck Brittany, he thinks to himself. Not that I’ve done that in forever. Not that I want to, honestly. Who the fuck does she think she is? Calling you annoying? Eddie thinks you might be the least annoying person he knows, honestly. There hasn’t been a moment you’ve been around that Eddie wanted you to go. Or at least, not because he didn’t want you around. There have been times he wanted to shield you from Brittany though, and so for your own sake, he tries to get you to leave. If Brittany was smart, she’d be jealous, Eddie continues to think. Annoying? Fuck, you’re not annoying. You’re incredible. The sweetest person, the loveliest person. A really fucking sexy woman. The thought has Eddie’s dick twitching. He peeks his head out from behind the curtain to make sure he locked the door. Finishing washing his body up quickly, he puts the soap down and wraps his hand around his cock. Shit, his fingernails still had dirt underneath them. Eddie would make sure to clean that out before he’d put his hands on you. Wonderful, delicate, you. The oil under the nails of his rough hands makes Eddie think of you coming to see him at work. You’d been there a time or two before because you’d been having car trouble. But what if you were there for another reason?

Eddie’s the only one in the garage, under the hood of a rusted old car with the sleeves of his blue coveralls pushed up to his elbows, when he hears footsteps coming closer.

“We’re closed,” Eddie calls to whoever it is.

“Aww,” a sweet voice pouts. A voice he’d know anywhere. “And here I came all this way just to visit you.”

He comes out from underneath the hood and tosses his wrench on the pile of tools lying next to him before he turns around and sees you. You’re wearing the short denim skirt that always drives him wild, and one of his red and black flannel shirts over a white tank top, the flannel tied up just underneath your breasts.

“You came to see me?” Eddie asks, raising his eyebrows at you.

Turning your head to look around the garage, empty except for the unfinished cars in the bay, you nod and take a few steps closer to him. “Only one here, aren’t you? Can’t stop thinking about you, Eddie.”

Delicate, soft hands come up to grip his coveralls and you look up at Eddie through your thick eyelashes. Both of you are breathing faster than usual, your cleavage moving up and down with every breath.

“Well, what can I do for you, sweetheart?” Eddie asks, hands coming to rest on your hips. A smile quirks up on your lips, both at the question and at his hands on you.

“Fuck me?” you ask, making your voice sound as soft and innocent as possible.

“You sure, baby?” Eddie asks.

Biting your lip, you nod your head at him, removing your hands from his chest so you can untie the flannel and let it fall from your shoulders. “Please, Eddie? Want you so bad. So, so bad.”

“Who am I to deny a pretty girl what she wants?” Eddie asks before leaning down and attaching his lips to yours. Your arms instantly come up to encircle his neck and Eddie uses his grip on your hips to pull your body flush against his.

A shiver runs down Eddie’s spine as your small hands slide down his shoulders and to the zipper of his coveralls. You pull it down agonizingly slowly, Eddie’s tongue delving into your mouth as you work. He takes his hands off of your hips to shuck the coveralls from his frame and you pull back from the kiss to push the article of clothing down his hips and down his legs. When you stay down on your knees, looking up at him with your beautiful eyes, he feels like he might combust. Eddie uses his booted foot to kick the discarded flannel towards you so you can kneel on that instead of the hard garage floor.

“Such a gentleman,” you purr as your hands pop the button on his jeans. Eddie feels like time stands still as you drag his zipper down, feeling like you touching his dick can’t happen soon enough. His eyes are trained on your face as you pull down his boxers and his stomach clenches in pure want as he sees you lick over your lips as your eyes stay glued to his cock. “Fuck, Eddie. You’re even bigger than I thought you’d be.”

“Thought about me, princess?” He’s amazed at how normal his voice sounds as his hands scramble behind him to grab onto the car he had been working on.

“Mhmm,” you hum. You reach out and let your index finger trail down the vein on the underside of his cock. “Every time I touch myself. Wishing it was your fingers in me. Mine are too small.” The pouting look you give him, finally dragging your eyes away from his impressive length, has his breath hitching. “But I’ve seen your hands. I stare at them. Looking at the rings on your thick fingers, hoping you’d keep them on while you stretch me out.” You push up on your knees and let your spit drip down onto Eddie’s aching member before you wrap your hand around him.

A guttural moan comes from Eddie’s throat, bringing a satisfied smirk to your lips as you work your hand up and down his shaft. You gather the precum beading on the head, mixing that with your saliva as you jerk him. Eddie feels like he’s in Heaven. Like the hood of the car must’ve fallen and crushed him, because you’re making him feel better than he thought possible.

“Don’t know if I can fit all of you in my mouth,” you say, a frown on your pretty features. “But I’ll do my best.” With that, you lean in and lick over the pink aching head, eyes looking into Eddie’s as you do. You giggle when he groans through clenched teeth, the sound making his head fuzzy. Your lips close around the tip, and you start to bob your head, taking a little more of him in your mouth each time.

“Damn, baby you look pretty like this,” Eddie says. You moan around him, vibrations only adding to his pleasure, and you reach up for his hand. Eddie takes his left hand from the car and lets you put it in your hair, and when you squeeze your fingers around his, he takes the hint and grabs a handful of your hair in his fist. A whimper comes from your throat, causing Eddie to buck his hips forward.

“Shit, I’m sorry, baby,” Eddie says when you choke around him. You pull off of his cock and look up at him with tears leaking from your eyes, makeup starting to get smudged.

“Don’t be sorry. Want you to fuck my throat.” Immediately returning your mouth around his dick, Eddie tightens his hold on your hair and starts to thrust his hips. He watches himself disappear between your lips, enjoying the wet warmth of your mouth. When the tip of his cock hits the back of your throat, Eddie throws his head back with a groan, hand tightening both on the car and in your soft hair.

“Fuck, sweetheart. God, as much as I love your mouth, I want your pussy.”

You let him fall from your mouth, pretty pink lips twisting into a pout.

“Didn’t even get to suck on your balls,” you say.

“Next time,” Eddie says as he huffs a laugh. He reaches down and helps you stand up, lips attacking your neck as he slides his hands under the hem of your tank top. The moans and whimpers you let out as Eddie secures his lips over your pulse point go straight to his cock, twitching between your two bodies. Fingernails scratch lightly over Eddie's abdomen as you slip your hands underneath his t-shirt, moving up to rub over his chest. He breaks away from your neck to toss his shirt off, followed by your tank top. The black lace bra you're wearing makes Eddie want to fall to his knees. Instead, he goes back to pressing kisses against your neck, trailing them up to the sensitive spot behind your ear.

“Can I touch you, baby?” Eddie whispers against your hair.

“Uh huh,” you whimper out. He wastes no time in cupping your breasts in his palms, squeezing over the thin material. “Feels so good.”

“Yeah?” Eddie asks, teeth grazing against your earlobe. “You like when I touch you?”

“Yes, Eddie. Love it so much.” You reach behind you and unclasp your bra, letting the silky straps slide down your shoulders. Eddie immediately rids you of the garment and palms your bare breasts. His thumbs flick over your pebbled nipples, making you arch your body into his touch.

Reluctantly pulling his hands away from you, Eddie turns around and closes the hood of the car behind him. Turning back to you, Eddie wraps his arms around your waist and lifts you up, setting your ass on the hood. His lips attach to your nipple, thumb coming up to play with the other one. Your hands go to his hair, tangling in his curls as his tongue laps at your breast.

The soft skin of your thighs under his hands feels like silk as he moves his hands from your knees up underneath your skirt. When his fingers come in contact with your bare pussy, Eddie moans around your nipple before pulling off the bud.

“No panties? You’re really fucking trying to kill me, aren’t you?”

The giggle you let out has him smiling adoringly at you before he captures your lips in another kiss, pushing your skirt up to bunch at your waist. Breathing heavily, you break apart and Eddie takes one of your legs, lifting it over his shoulder. You lean back on your elbows, the cool metal kissing your heated skin.

Eddie trails kisses up the inside of your thigh, your head dropping back just from the pleasure of that small act. Letting your other leg drop to the side, opening yourself up more to the sexy curly haired man, you lift your head back up to watch Eddie get closer to your core. His hot breath hits your bare sex and it sends a shiver up your spine.

“Eddie, please,” you whine.

“Please what, baby?” Eddie teases, pressing a kiss to the apex of your thigh.

“Please put your mouth on me.” The whimper that escapes your lips pushes Eddie over the edge; he needs to taste you. Already intoxicated by every part of you, Eddie leans in and licks a broad stripe from your hole up your clit.

“Fuck,” you pant out as Eddie does it again and again.

“Knew you’d taste good, baby,” Eddie says against your pussy. “But shit, you’re even sweeter than I thought.”

When you reach down to grip Eddie’s hair and give it a small tug, he moans against your clit, sending a vibration through your core that has you curling your toes. Tongue keeping a steady pace on your sensitive bundle of nerves, Eddie slips two fingers into your needy hole, making the pressure in your lower belly tighten. He curls those fingers upward, massaging against your inner wall and hits the spot that has you seeing stars.

“T-There,” you stutter out. “Shit, Eddie, right there.”

The way you say his name makes Eddie think more favorably about it than he has in his whole life. He’d be content to just hear you say his name over and over again.

Eddie thrusts his fingers so they hit the same spot repeatedly, tongue expertly working your cute little button.

“Close, baby,” you tell him, the pet name going straight to his cock. He feels your walls start to spasm around his fingers and the thought of you doing that around his dick almost has him coming right then and there. “Eddie, yes. Fuck! I-I’m gonna cum.”

It’s all the warning he gets before you’re soaking his fingers, your release drooling down his hand as well. Eddie pulls his mouth off your clit and presses soft kisses against your thigh as you come down from your high.

You lay back against the hood and windshield of the car, breasts heaving as you try and catch your breath. Eddie grins as he sees the fucked out expression on your face, staring up at the garage ceiling.

“How was that, gorgeous?” he asks, trailing his fingertips over your knees.

“Hardest I’ve ever cum,” you tell him with a dreamy sigh. You push yourself up and pull Eddie’s head down to yours, melding your mouths together. He licks into your mouth, and you wrap your legs around his waist, sliding down the car until your wet heat is pressing against his throbbing cock.

“Babe,” Eddie mumbles against your lips. “I don’t have a condom.”

“Don’t care,” you say as you wind your arms around his neck. “M’on the pill. Not that I’d mind having you knock me up, anyway.”

Eddie drops his head to your shoulder and lets out a whine. “Fuck, you can’t say shit like that and expect me not to want to keep you.”

“So, keep me,” you say with a shrug. When Eddie lifts his head to look at you, you’re biting your lip and looking at him with wide eyes.

“You want me to keep you forever?” Eddie asks in a quiet voice.

“Forever,” you affirm. “Keep me.” You press a kiss to his neck. “Fuck me.” Another kiss. “Knock me up.” Another kiss. “Marry me. Whatever you want, I’m yours.”

Eddie groans and presses his lips to yours and you reach down, lining him up with your entrance. He pushes into you, and you gasp against his mouth. Your ankles lock behind his back as Eddie slowly fills you up, inch by inch until he’s buried up to the hilt.

“Shit, sweetheart,” Eddie whispers in the air between you. “Feel so good. Pussy’s so fucking tight. Think you were made just for me, darling.”

All you’re capable of doing is whimpering in response. Eddie reaches deeper inside you than anyone else has before and you never want to feel less than this full again.

“M’so full, Eddie,” you whine.

“I know, baby,” he coos, his hips finding a steady rhythm. “I’ve got you.”

You drop your head down to his shoulder as he pounds harder into you, your fingers digging into his shoulders at the exquisite pleasure. The pressure is also building in your lower abdomen, tightening more and more. Eddie can tell as your nails dig into his skin, and he looks forward to seeing what kind of mark they leave there. It’ll only be fair for you both to have marks, since there’s already a nice purple bruise forming on the side of your neck.

Wanting to hit that sweet spot inside of you again, Eddie gently encourages you to lay back on the hood of the car so he can adjust the angle of his hips. You look so pretty like this, he thinks. Hair mussed up, mouth red and kissed bruised, lying in front of him – where his cock keeps burying inside of you – back arching and tits bouncing in time with his thrusts. You look perfect.

Eddie shifts his hips just slightly and on the next thrust your fingers are scrambling on the hood of the car, trying to find something, anything to hold on to. Smirking in satisfaction now that he’s found that magic spot, he reaches up and links your hand with his, giving you something to hold on to. His hips also begin to piston in and out of you at a relentless pace, repeatedly hitting your spot that has your eyes squeezed closed in pleasure.

“Fuck!” you cry out. “Eddie!”

He can feel himself getting closer, his release not far off as he tries to make you come a second time. By your body’s responses, he knows you’re close too.

“Eddie!” Every time you scream his name it’s like music to his ears. “Eddie, oh, Eddie!”

“Eddie!” Three loud bangs jerk Eddie out of his fantasy. “Dinner’s ready, Eddie! Are you done yet?”

Why Brittany has to yell when it’s only a two-inch-thick piece of wood between them, he’ll never understand. “Eddie!”

“Just a second!” he calls back. Brittany sighs and her footsteps disappear down the hall.

Eddie braces one arm against the shower wall, the other hand firmly grasping his painfully hard cock, and he squeezes his eyes shut as he tries to let the rest of the fantasy play out.

“Gonna come again,” you whine. Eddie uses the hand that isn’t holding yours to pull your body up until it’s pressed flush against his. You moan and whimper against his lips and Eddie knows he can die a happy man. Both of your hands go to his hair, and Eddie takes his newly freed hand down between your legs. He rubs tight fast circles over your clit, making your hips rock up to meet his thrusts.

As your orgasm starts to take over your body, you press your lips to Eddie’s, sharing a hot searing kiss full of tongues and hot breath. The waves of pleasure roll over you, the noises you're making the prettiest Eddie’s ever heard. Makes sense coming from the prettiest girl he’s ever seen. The sounds mixed with your sweet pussy clenching around his cock is his undoing. Eddie comes hard inside of you, painting your walls with his white release. His eyes squeeze shut as he rides out his high, chest heaving with heavy breaths, and sweat dotted along his forehead.

“Fuck,” you say. “You feel so good inside me. Never want you to pull out.”

Eddie opens his eyes but you’re not laying there in front of him. He’s not buried inside of you, he’s holding himself in his hand, his seed coating the shower wall and some of his own hand. Even though you’re not there though, the ecstasy he’s feeling from the orgasm and the warm fuzzy feeling floating around his abdomen are still because of you. Of how you make Eddie feel.

The hot shower water gets turned down a bit so he can rinse off the sweat that’s accumulated on his body and clean both the wall and hand free from his cum. He takes a deep breath and turns the water off.

Stepping out of the shower into the steamed-up bathroom, Eddie grabs the towel hanging on a hook and wraps it around his waist. He shakes his hair out like a wet dog, sending little splatters of water all around the small space. He dresses quickly, mostly so Brittany doesn’t come back around to yell again, and runs the towel over his hair.

Stepping out of the bathroom door, the rest of the house feels considerably cooler than the sauna of a bathroom. Eddie tosses the towel into the hamper in his bedroom and heads down the hall towards the kitchen.

Luke slides out of his room on his socks, knocking into Eddie’s leg. The little boy just giggles, looking up at his dad and taking his freshly cleaned hand into his own little one. Eddie can feel his son staring at him and he looks down to see big blue eyes staring back up at him.

“What?” Eddie asks.

“You took a shower?” Luke asks.

“Yeah, why?”

“That all you did since you came home?”

“Yeah, why?” Eddie repeats.

Luke shrugs. “You look happy.” He drops his dad’s hand and walks into the kitchen.

Eddie stands there in the hallway, sliding his hands into his pockets. He does feel the smile on his face now that Luke mentioned it. It keeps him from wanting to go into the kitchen because he’s sure Brittany will wipe it off his face in no time. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. Picturing your pretty face makes his heart lurch in his chest and he knows he’s in trouble. But he can keep this a secret. He’s not going to tell anyone about these feelings. It’s just something he can keep inside of him and think about when he needs a smile. Or to get off.

#eddie munson #older!eddie #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fan fiction #eddie munson fanfic #babysitter!reader #request #AYW #AYWS

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juniperskye · 6 months

Text

Expectations

Summary: Reader has no place to go, so she and her son, James, move in with her aunt Claudia and cousin Dustin. She gets a job at a record store and befriends a girl named, Robin. After a few too many drinks at some dingy bar, Robin introduces reader to none other than Eddie Munson. After a lust fueled evening, the reader finds herself in the same position she was in just 4 years prior…would things be different this time, or would Eddie let her down too? (Kids name is James – I didn’t want it to be filled with y/k/n and James is the name of the vocalist/guitarist from Metallica *this comes up in the fic* and ex’s name is Ryan…just popped in my head, sorry!) The events of season 4 did not happen, Argyle and Chrissy are in the friend group, honestly the upside-down isn't mentioned at all!

(mechanic) Eddie Munson x (single mom) Henderson Reader

Angst/Fluff

Word count: 11,685 (I am so sorry)

Warnings: No use of y/n, anxiety, mentions of past abusive relationship, mentions of having cut off toxic familial relationships, mention of pregnancy and birth, allusion to sex (NO smut), PTSD, language, drinking, mention of menstruation, panic attack, hospitals, let me know if I missed any!

Not edited - please be kind.

I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.

*Phone rings*

“Who the hell is calling at this hour? *Picks up the phone* Hello?”

“Aunt Claudia, I’m sorry for calling so late, I-I just…I didn’t know who else to call.” You rushed out.

“Honey what’s wrong? Is it James?” Claudia questioned; voice laced with concern.

“James is okay, I um, I…we need a place to stay.”

“I’ll get the guest room set up for you, do you need me to come and get you? Where’s Ryan?” Just her saying his name had you flinching.

“I um, I’m leaving Ryan. Aunt Claudia h-he…” Your voice trailed off. “I have my car though.”

“It’s okay honey, just get here safe.”

You appreciated the fact that Claudia didn’t push you for more information. You had a feeling she knew what you were going through…no one in your family ever explicitly said what happened to your uncle, just that he “wasn’t around” anymore. You had always been close to your aunt Claudia despite not being blood, but after her divorce from your uncle and your parents cutting off all contact with you when you got pregnant, Claudia and Dustin were all you had left.

You made quick work of packing up your car and getting James situated in his car seat. You got in, started the car and began backing out of the driveway. You gasped as you caught a glimpse of your reflection in the mirror. You had a split lip, a gnarly bruise forming on your right cheekbone, dried blood coming from a cut in your hairline (when did that even happen?). You took a shaky breath, hissing from the pain you felt in your ribs. Looking back up, you see Ryan emerging from the house, running toward the car.

“You stupid bitch! You think you can just leave me? Nobody is gonna take care of you and that boy like I do.” He screamed.

You hit the gas and took off down the road. James was crying in the back seat, and you tried to comfort him as you drove. You hadn’t expected Ryan to be up. After he “disciplined” you, as he called it, he got wasted and passed out on the couch, you had grabbed a bag for you and James, got them packed up and called your Aunt Claudia. He had put his hands on you before; grabbing your arm or wrist a bit too tight, roughly turning your chin towards him if you looked away during an argument, but never like tonight. Tonight, he had hit you, kicked you, shoved you into the edge of the counter. But the worst part is, he had done it in front of James and when you didn’t take it silently like he’d demanded, he’d threatened to “discipline” James next. You’d taken the remainder of his beating silently as hot tears burned their way down your cheeks; you’d rather be dead than have Ryan put his hands on James.

The drive to Hawkins was only about two hours. Most of it was spent in silence, James had fallen asleep, and you didn’t want to risk playing any music and disturbing him. You felt relief as the “Welcome to Hawkins” sign came into view, only a few more minutes and you’d be safe.

“Dustin, go outside and help her with the bags. Don’t make any comments about how she might look.”

“Mom! I shouldn’t even be awake right now…what even happened?” Dustin grumbled.

“Don’t ask questions and just go!” Claudia scolded.

“Alright! This is such bullshit…she’s an adult, she can carry this stuff herself – HOLY SHIT YOUR FACE!” Dustin shouted in surprise.

“Shhhh! James is sleeping!” You waved your hands at Dustin frantically.

“Dustin what did I just say?!” Claudia said as she slapped the back of Dustin’s head.

“Ow! Sorry.” Dustin said as he rubbed his head.

“Oh dear, let’s get you inside and clean you up.” Claudia said as she inspected your face further.

You grabbed James from the backseat as Dustin and Claudia grabbed your bags from the trunk, they’d placed them all in what was now your room. You gently laid James down on the bed and went back to the kitchen. Claudia was waiting there with a first aid kit. She patched you up without a word. You could tell she knew, and if she didn’t, she didn’t ask. She told you that you and James were welcome to stay with them as long as you needed and that she would take you to get some groceries and other necessities tomorrow. You told her that you were going to get a job and that way you wouldn’t have to be there for long and she waved you off, assuring you that you were more than welcome there.

*One Week Later*

You had gotten a job at a record store, thankfully the owner had just lost an employee as they went off to college. Their loss was your gain. They had flexible hours, and you had a love for music, it had really all worked out. It had been a while since you worked, Ryan having kept you isolated from everything the last year of your life. The mundane tasks this job had to offer put your mind at ease.

“Welcome in!” You shouted as the bell above the door alerted you to a customer entering.

“Hi there! Are you new around here?” A lanky girl with short dirty blonde hair questioned.

“Oh um, yeah I guess, I’ve visited Hawkins a bunch, but I only just recently moved here.” You explained.

“Cool! I’m Robin. I’m looking for the new Metallica record.”

You told her your name and turned to grab one of the new records from the stack on the back counter.

“You listen to Metallica?” You asked her, giving her a quick once over, you were sure she had never willingly listened to metal music.

“Oh! No, not really. I am picking it up for a friend of mine, he has to work and so he asked if I could pick it up since I have the day off.” She told you.

“That’s nice of you! Your total is $8.98.” You rang up Robin’s purchase.

You were silently hoping that this interaction would continue or that maybe she’d ask you to hang out sometime. You desperately needed adult friends seeing as the only person your age you’d been around as of late what Ryan. Robin had seemed pretty cool, she obviously had cool friends since she was buying the Metallica record for one of them, and who knows, maybe Robin would invite you to her friends and you would be able to rejoin society.

“So, I know we only just met, but your new to town and I would love to take you out…not like on a date or anything! I just mean like as friends, if you’d want. If not, that’s okay too, I’d understand since we’re strangers and all, but I just thought…”

“Yes! I would love to hangout.” You cut Robin off – God this girl could talk.

“You would? Awesome! Sorry I ramble, pretty much all the time. A friend of mine, he plays in a band at this dingy bar called The Hideout…a group of us were going to see them play tonight, you in?” Robin asked.

“That sounds awesome, should I meet you guys there?” You answered without thinking.

“Um, what time are you off? Maybe Steve and I could come pick you up on our way over there.” Robin glanced at her watch.

“I get off around seven thirty.” You replied.

“Okay, perfect! Steve and I will meet you out front then! See you later.” Robin skipped off.

“See you then!” You called after her.

“Shit.” You muttered to yourself.

You’d have to call and beg Aunt Claudia to watch James tonight. There was absolutely no way you were going to miss out on a night with people your age, drinks and live music.

Apparently, you didn’t need to beg because Claudia had been more than willing to look after James for the evening, claiming she needed time with her “grandson”. You supposed that Claudia was the closest thing you’d have to a mom and James would have to a grandma given the current situation. You were so grateful for how accepting she had been of you and James.

Checking the clock, you realize that it is almost time for you to head out. You decided to run to the restroom to refresh your makeup prior to meeting Robin and Steve outside.

Once you were happy with your look, you walked through the shop, bid the closer goodnight and headed out the front door. Glancing around you saw Robin with her head stuck out of the passenger side of a burgundy BMW.

“Hey girl!” Robin shouted as the BMW rolled to a stop.

“Hey Robin, thanks again for inviting me.” You said as you climbed into the back seat of the sedan.

“Absolutely! This is Steve, by the way.” Robin gestured towards the brunette in the driver’s seat.

He turned and offered you a small wave and a half smile. He was good-looking, there was no denying that, but he was the traditional type of good-looking. Like, everyone knows he’s hot, including him. This guy was definitely the prom king, captain of every sports team, voted best hair, blah blah blah…at his high school. And again, while you can’t deny that he was handsome…but he was most definitely not your type.

“Hey, thanks for driving tonight! It has been a while since I have hung out with people my age.” You mumbled out.

“Yeah, it’s no problem. Robin said you’re new to town?” Steve questioned.

“Oh, um, yeah, I guess. I have family here, so I used to visit a lot in the summers. But I only just moved out here last week.” You told him.

“You look really familiar…Like I’ve seen you before. Who’s your family?” Steve asked.

“Oh! I’m not sure you’d know them; my cousin is quite a bit younger than us.” You started…

“Don’t be so quick to shut it down, Steve here plays mom to like 50 of Hawkins adolescents.” Robin laughed.

“His name is Dustin, Dustin Henderson.”

“WHAT? Henderson is your cousin! No wonder you look so familiar, I bet I’ve seen your photo hundreds of times. The one of your high school graduation hanging in the living room. And there’s one of you and a little boy, is that your brother or something?” Steve surprised you.

“No, that’s um, that’s my son. Sorry I didn’t say anything earlier Robin, it’s just that I really wanted to spend some time with people my age. People are usually quick to write me off once they find out I am a single mom.” You said, your gaze falling to your lap.

“Hey, first of all, it’s badass that you’re a single mom. Second of all, that doesn’t change the fact that you seem super cool, and we want to hang out with you!” Robin reassured you as Steve nodded in agreement.

“Thanks guys.” You smiled shyly.

You tried your hardest not to tear up at Robin’s words. It seemed silly to be so emotional about something so simple…but Ryan had really made you believe that people would want nothing to do with some young single mom who had a child with no dad. Ryan claimed that him taking you and James in, a little over a year ago, was the best thing that would ever happen to you. For a while you thought he was right, that there was nothing better for you out there, but then the abuse started, and you knew you needed to get out of there.

“So how old is he?” Steve asked.

“James is three. He already acts like a teenager though I swear!” You laughed.

The ride had continued on like this, Robin, Steve and you asking one another questions to get to know each other.

*At The Hideout*

Robin had been generous, calling this place dingy. This bar was filled with smoke and old men, clearly the establishment’s regular cliental. There was a small group of people who looked to be about ten years your senior, they looked like teachers or something and another group was huddled over by the makeshift stage to the far right in the back of the bar.

A small brunette girl smiled at Steve and Robin and waved us over. As we made our way to them Robin pointed out the different people and gave me their names, Jonathan, Nancy, Argyle, and Chrissy. She had explained that the friend that you were all there to see was Eddie.

You had all made small talk while you waited for the band to come out. You were thankful that Robin and Steve hadn’t brought James up to the rest of the group. They were giving you the chance to tell everyone when you were ready and that meant a lot to you.

After about 15 minutes of chit-chat, the band made their way out. There were cheers throughout the bar, mainly from the group you were with. That is when you saw him…Eddie, as Robin had kindly pointed out. Now he was your type. Untraditionally hot, he’s the type of guy with tattoos and piercings, long hair and dresses in all black, he doesn’t outwardly admit that he’s drop dead gorgeous, hell he might even deny it…but you know he is.

You had to inwardly scold yourself for staring the way you were and thankfully, after a quick glance around the group, nobody seemed to notice other than Steve. He smirked and gently bumped his shoulder with yours, leaning over to tell you something.

“He’s single, and you’re totally his type.” Steve whispered in your ear.

“No way. Single mom to a three your old definitely doesn’t seem like his type.”

“Hey, give it a chance. He might surprise you.” Steve encouraged you.

You blushed and looked back to the stage, it hadn’t been long, but you could tell that these people were going to be good friends of yours. Already so kind, accepting, encouraging. It had been a complete 180 from the last few years of your life. Losing your parents all because they couldn’t handle having a “whore” daughter, friends walking away because “every time we hang out you have your kid with you”, and then there was Ryan, the man who broke you down to nothing and gaslit you into believing you deserved nothing more. In just an hour you’d already felt the warmth and love you had been missing out on and desperately seeking.

Lost in thought you felt a nudge to your rib, pain seared through you as you fought to hold in a cry. A concerned look flashed across Robin’s face as she noticed your discomfort.

“Sorry, I was trying to get your attention and you looked totally spaced. Are you okay?” Robin questioned.

“No, Sorry I’m good. I just uh, I have an injury from before I moved here.” You explained.

“Oh shit, glad you’re good though! I was trying to get your attention because Eddie is totally checking you out!” She squealed.

“What, stop. No, he’s not.” You blushed profusely.

Sure enough, he was indeed checking you out. Normally you would have shied away, unable to hold his gaze, but he was so captivating, you never wanted to look away from him.

The band played a total of seven songs, and you were pleasantly surprised at how talented they were. They had been covers of songs by different metal bands like Metallica, Dio and Iron Maiden. Metal was one of your favorite genres, so you had really enjoyed yourself, the handsome front man definitely made that easy.

With the band’s set being done, the guys made their way over to your group. Robin pointed out the rest of the guys, Gareth, Craig and Liam. They were nice, but not enough to draw your attention away from Eddie.

The two of you played this game of cat and mouse throughout the first round of drinks, shared glances, smirks, a wink here and there from Eddie. Steve was definitely catching on, he cleared his throat and suggested that he and Robin fetch another round for the table, thus vacating the seat next to you. Eddie was quick to move into Steve’s seat, he threw his arm up and around you on the booth and he leaned in close to your ear.

“Steve tells me your new to town, if you want, maybe I could show you around some time.” Eddie’s breath was hot on your neck as he spoke lowly into your ear.

Robin and Steve returned with more drinks and the night went on. Eddie continued whispering into your ear with his arm thrown over your shoulders. He’d ask you questions about your favorite genre of music, if you’d like the band’s set, but he’d also throw in flirty comments like that he thought you were pretty, and your skirt looked nice or that your hair smelled good. He was doing a good job of keeping a blush on your cheeks. You continued on like this for the third, fourth, and fifth round of drinks before you started feeling extra bold.

“Hey, about that tour, I’d think I might take you up on that sometime.” You tried to keep your face straight as Robin and Steve not-so-subtly gestured towards you and giggled.

“I know a great place we could start…you wanna get out of here?” Eddie offered.

Your eyes shot to his, surprised by how forward he was being…you weren’t sure if a one-time thing was what you were wanting, but you also were nowhere near ready for anything serious. You slowly nodded at him; you didn’t want to live with the regret that would surely follow declining his offer.

Eddie got up, grabbing your hand and dragging you behind him. Looking over, you see Steve and Robin nodding at you in approval. Eddie said something to his bandmates before dragging you out of the bar and over to his beat-up van. The two of you drove around in Eddie’s van for a bit while he pointed out a few spots around town. You made some casual small talk until the van came to a stop near a small lake.

“You know, I don’t really do this. Hooking up with girls I’ve just met I mean.” Eddie said nervously.

“I don’t either, honestly, I shocked myself when I agreed to leave the bar with you. Not because you’re not attractive, you totally are, just because I don’t do this sort of thing.” You cringed at how ridiculous you sounded.

Eddie looked over to you and broke out into a grin, before you both started laughing. The two of you sat and talked for a bit, you mentioned that your past hadn’t been the best and that you came to Hawkins to be close to your family. Eddie had told you that he also had a tough past and that for a long time he had yearned to get out of Hawkins, but now he didn’t mind it, he had his uncle and friends and now he had…his voice had trailed off. He knew it wouldn’t be appropriate to say he had you, you had only just met, but he was really enjoying your company and he felt a spark there. Judging by the way you were looking at him, you were feeling it too.

He slowly started to lean in, meeting your lips in a gentle kiss.

“Just take a right here.” You gestured.

“Okay. I hope you know I had a lot of fun tonight. Do you think maybe we could go get something to eat sometime?” Eddie asked.

“It’s that house there on the left. And yeah, I’d really like that.” You blushed as you looked down to your lap.

“Wait, this house here? This is Henderson’s house.” Eddie gave you a questioning look.

“Oh, you know Dustin too? He’s my cousin.” You explained.

“Fuck. Henderson is gonna be pissed.” Eddie muttered.

“What are you talking about? Dustin’s just a kid, his opinion of who I spend time with is not his business.” You said, letting out a frustrated breath.

“No! I didn’t mean it like that, I just, I don’t know. He’s a buddy of mine you know, and now I’ve slept with his cousin. I just don’t want it to be weird.” Eddie tried to clear things up.

“What’s weird is one, your friends with a fifteen-year-old and two, you’re implying that you are going to tell him we slept together.” You scoffed.

“Okay hold on, he joined my D&D club at school and I kind of took him under my wing. And I most definitely will not be telling him about tonight.” Eddie looked at you, hoping not to have ruined the entire evening.

“Okay, that’s actually pretty sweet that you looked out for him, he’s a total dork and definitely needed someone to keep an eye out for him. Also, that’s cool that you have a D&D club, I remember when I first introduced Dustin to it, he was so into it!”

“Wait, you are the one who got Dustin into D&D? That’s freaking awesome!” Eddie exclaimed.

“Yeah, we can talk about it more over dinner! I should probably head inside though.” You sighed.

“Okay, I’ll call you!” Eddie said as he leaned in and kissed you once more.

*Two Months Later*

Eddie and you had never gotten that dinner. You were disappointed to say the least, Robin and Steve had made it seem like Eddie was this great guy who was totally interested in you, and for one night, you had believed it. Part of you was convinced it was because you were related to Dustin, another part of you wondered if he had somehow found out about James. But the worst part of you, one that you so desperately wanted to push out, told you that you just weren’t good enough.

Despite the supposed lack of connection between Eddie and yourself, you’d grown very close with Robin and Steve. You had shared with them the horrors you had endured that ultimately led to you moving to Hawkins. They expressed their care for you and held you as you cried through it. They truly had become some of the best friends you were sure you’d ever have. The three of you got together frequently for movie nights, swimming at Steve’s house, dinner at your aunt’s, you were finally starting to feel like an actual person again. Unfortunately, things couldn’t stay this good forever right…

You had been avoiding your friends for the last week or so. You hadn’t felt amazing and in hopes of saving them from whatever illness you were clearly coming down with, you told them to keep their distance.

Robin, however, she didn’t care that you might be sick.

“Hey! Dustin let me in on his way out!” Robin called as she made her way down the hall.

“Hey, what are you doing here? I told you I was sick!” You tried to keep your distance.

“Girl, I am not even worried about it. What I am worried about though is how badly I need to pee!” You could hear Robin’s giggles as she made her way to the bathroom down the hall.

“Ughhhh Shit! Hey, do you have a tampon?” Robin yelled through the door.

“Yeah, they’re under the sink…” Your voice trailed off; you were trying to do the mental math as to when you’d had your last period. Your thoughts were buzzing through your mind, missed period, nausea, fatigue, tender breasts…

“Oh, fuck!” You said as Robin walked back into your room.

“What, what’s wrong?” Robin Asked.

“Mommy. Mommy!” James came running into the room and slammed into your legs.

“Hey baby, how was lunch with nana?” You asked as you scooped him up into your arms.

“It was fun! We had ice cream!” He told you, as if the sticky chocolate residue caked on his cheeks wasn’t a dead giveaway.

Robin smiled at your interaction with your son. Over the last two months she and Steve had spent quite a bit of time around him. She looked at you, and then at your son. She thought about your odd comment and all at once, she put the pieces together. You saw the lightbulb appear above her head.

“Robin don’t!”

“You’re pregnant!”

“We need to get to the pharmacy.” You said, while grabbing your keys.

You, Robin and James made your way to the car, you got James all strapped into his car seat and began driving over to the pharmacy. Robin told you to run and grab the test while she got a drink for you and to meet her in the bathroom.

You rushed through the pharmacy, gathering everything you needed before checking out and making a beeline to the bathroom. While you took the test, Robin sat with James, as you exited the stall you saw them playing patty cake and you couldn’t help but smile.

“How much longer?” Robin asked impatiently.

“Um, one minute and thirty seconds. Shouldn’t I be the one freaking out?” You asked.

“I know sorry! I’m friends with a lot of guys okay, this doesn’t happen often.” Robin chewed at her nails.

“It’s time…” You glanced over to the test.

Two lines. Positive. Pregnant. You were fucked, what would Claudia think? Oh shit…Eddie was going to flip.

As you drove home with James and Robin, you talked about breaking the news to Claudia. You knew that you’d have to tell her now. She knew you too well and you owed her complete honesty seeing as she took you in. Robin suggested that you go in and talk to her while she took James to your room to play with his toys and with a deep breath you agreed.

“Aunt Claudia?” You called out.

“In the Kitchen!” She returned.

You made your way into the kitchen as Robin led James back to the room as you’d discussed. You looked at your aunt and felt the tears stinging in your eyes. You weren’t sure what you’d do if she kicked you out. She and Dustin truly were the only people you had, other than Steve and Robin now.

“Sweetie what’s wrong?” Claudia questioned.

“I messed up, real bad aunt Claudia.” You cried.

“Oh, honey it can’t be that bad, just talk to me, tell me what happened.” She said as she pulled you into a hug.

“I-I. I’m p-pregnant.” You sobbed.

You could feel Claudia sigh, definitely displeased with the situation, but what shocked you was when she hugged you tighter, pressed a kiss to your temple and reassured you everything was going to be okay. She asked you a few questions like if you knew the guy, how you’d found out, if you’d called a doctor yet. She helped you schedule an appointment and made a few other calls. She did give you a lecture on the importance of safe sex and she threw in something about you going on the pill once this baby arrived. But ultimately she had your back and you let out a sigh of relief, grateful to have someone who actually cared about you as your “guardian” for all intents and purposes.

*Later that night*

“So, don’t hate me, but I called Steve.” You could see Robin cringe as she told you, fully expecting your wrath.

“Robin! What the hell? I don’t want everyone to know about this. I am so screwed; Claudia is going to kick us out and I’m going to have to figure out how to tell Eddie that I have a son and that I am pregnant now and ugh!!! I was just starting to feel like things were good and settled.” You ran your hands over your face, sighing.

“Holy shit you’re pregnant?” Steve huffed in disbelief.

“How did you get in here?!” You shouted.

“The door was open, but hey Robin said you were having a hard time, so I brought all the good stuff, cheese pizza, chocolate, potato chips and coke!” Steve rubbed the back of his neck bashfully.

“Well then, I guess you can stay. Thanks Steve.” You smiled at him.

The three of you sat in the living room watching movies while you pigged out on all the food Steve had brought. James had long been asleep laying next to you on the blankets you’d laid out on the floor. Robin had just dozed off, her quiet snores only just disturbing the quiet.

“You know, if Eddie doesn’t want to help you out with the baby, you have us. We will always be here for you. And I don’t know, I care about you and James is a really good kid and I, well, ugh. What I am trying to say is, I would step up and be there for you if he didn’t, that is, if you’d want that.”

“Steve you are the sweetest, I really appreciate you and if it comes to it, I might just take you up on that offer.” You couldn’t help but smile at his little outburst.

Somewhere within the next thirty minutes, you and Steve had both succumbed to your exhaustion. What inevitably woke you was an impatient knock on your door. You got up quietly and walked over, opening the door to expose Eddie.

“Oh shit, hey. I uh-I was looking for Dustin.” Eddie said looking anywhere but your eyes.

“Oh, uh hey Eddie, I don’t think he’s here. I think he stayed over at Mike’s.” You tried to push the door closed as much as you could to hide the sleeping figures in the living room.

“Look, about that night, I’m sorry. I know I should’ve called but I just got in my head about you being Henderson’s cousin and all and how much I liked you. I don’t know it just all happened so fast. I’ve wanted to talk to you for a while now, and I kinda thought I would be able to today since I had to come get Dustin…but then I saw Harrington’s car in the driveway.” He sounded disappointed.

“Yeah, um Robin and Steve came over and brought dinner and a movie for us to watch, we ended up falling asleep. We didn’t have plans they just sort of showed up, I hadn’t been feeling well so they were trying to help.” You were quick to explain.

“Oh okay, well can I come in?” He asked.

“I’m not sure it’s really the best time…” You looked over your shoulder briefly.

“Mommy, mommy!!” James came walking over to you, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

You bent over to pick James up and propped him on your hip. You looked over to Eddie and you could almost see the gears turning in his head as he processed James calling you mommy, the fact that you looked nearly identical and that you were here now standing in front of him with a child in your arms.

“You uh, you have a son?” His eyes scanned James’ face.

“Eddie, does it really matter? Now really isn’t a good time.” You tried to brush it off.

“You lied to me?” He looked for any sort of expression in your eyes.

“Look Eddie, I didn’t lie, it just wasn’t something I was going to blurt out that first night. Maybe if you had called like you said you were going to, I would’ve told you at dinner, but that never happened. So, if you would excuse me.” You tried to shut the door, but Eddie blocked it with his boot clad foot.

“Hey, wait, can we please just talk. I know I messed this all up, but I want to make up for it. I’ve been stupid throughout this whole thing, and I just want to start over.” Eddie pleaded.

“Eddie we are way past starting over.” You huffed.

“Please.” Eddie was relentless.

“Fine. Let’s go to the patio.” You urged Eddie to follow you.

Eddie took note of Steve and Robin each asleep on their respective couches as well as the blanket bed laid out on the floor, presumably where you had slept last night. The thought of you and Steve having grown so close left a sick feeling in his stomach.

You closed the sliding glass door quietly and set James down, prompting him to go play in the yard. As he waddled off, you sat in one of the plastic lawn chairs, gesturing for Eddie to do the same. As you watched Eddie sit, you tried to get your thoughts organized. Maybe you should just tell him now, just rip off the band-aid and get over it, at least this was Robin and Steve would be here to support you if Eddie had just walked out.

“Look Eddie, before you say anything there’s something I should tell you.” You started.

“Go ahead…” Eddie waited.

“A lot happened that night, you and I-we talked about so much. I told you about all that stuff that happened with Ryan, why I moved here. I hadn’t felt that comfortable with another person in a long time. And then you just didn’t call and look I can handle it if all you wanted was a hookup, but you had me believing that you cared and that you really wanted to go out again. Anyway, if you want nothing to do with me after this that’s fine, I have no expectations for you, but I-I…shit. I’m…” Your head snapped over in the direction of James, he had fallen and scraped his knee and was now crying as he called to you.

You got up and rushed over to him, pulling him into your arms so you could inspect the injury. All the commotion had woken up Steve and had him rushing outside to you. As he passed the threshold he scanned the backyard, taking note of Eddie awkwardly standing clearly unsure of how to help and then over to you sitting on the ground in your pajamas with your son sitting across your lap as you rocked him comfortingly.

“What happened, are you okay bud?” Steve said, kneeling by your side.

“I fell, my knee is bleeding!” James cried.

“Shhh, baby it’s okay, we will go inside and get you all cleaned up okay! I can get you a band-aid with the trucks on it, the ones you picked out with nana.” You cooed at him.

“You know what might help James, we could get a popsicle! The cold might feel good on your knee there.” Steve suggested.

“Okay! Can I eat the popsicle mommy?” James looked at you with bright eyes.

“Of course, bub.” You pressed a kiss to his hairline.

“Here, I got him. Let’s go get you all cleaned up!” Steve said as he picked James up.

“Thank you.” You said quietly as you glanced over to Eddie.

Steve and James made their way inside and you could hear Robin questioning what happened as the door slid shut. You made your way back over to the chair you’d previously occupied and slumped into it. Dragging your hands down your face.

“Sorry about that.” You apologized.

“Don’t be. I’m sorry, that should be me! I should be the one that is here and knows you and James like that. God I really fucked this whole thing up and I feel like such an idiot. Would you please consider giving me another chance?” Eddie looked at you with sad eyes.

“Even after all that, you still want to try this with me? Even though I have a kid…Eddie I need someone who is going to stick around. I can’t just have someone in mine and James’ lives if there not going to be there for good.” You explained.

“I want to be here. I talked with Dustin, and I told him that we had met and that I had feelings for you, and he was thrilled! I didn’t share any of the details, but I knew that part of me would never be able to do this if I hadn’t talked to him first. And I know he’s just a kid, but he’s my friend and I couldn’t just go behind his back. After I explained everything to him he smacked me in the head and told me I needed to pull my head out of my ass and make it up to you. Which is what I intend to do, so please, would you give me another chance?” Eddie looked at you with those big brown eyes…you had to tell him.

“Before I answer that, there’s something you need to know.” You hesitated.

“What is it? Don’t tell me your dating Harrington!” Eddie sounded slightly accusatory.

“What no! I’m not dating Steve; he and I are friends! But Eddie, I am pregnant.” You couldn’t bear to look at him.

“What? You-you’re pregnant. And that would mean, it’s mine?” He looked to you for confirmation.

“Yes.” You nodded slowly. Lifting your gaze to him, you were finding it hard to gauge what he was thinking.

Something flashed in his eyes, it looked like fear, then maybe hope, but they landed on what looked to be rage and you could feel yourself beginning to panic. Eddie stood up out of his seat and turned away from you, placing one hand on his hip and the other over his mouth.

“Fuck!” He shouted as he kicked over the plastic lawn chair, turning back towards you.

That’s when he saw it, your breathing had sped up significantly, a sweat had broken out across your skin, you had lost all color and when he reached towards you, you flinched away from him. He was mentally cursing himself for scaring you. He knelt down beside you and spoke softly:

“Hey, it’s okay, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to startle you. Can you take some deep breaths for me?” He was sure to keep an appropriate distance as to not spook you even further.

You nodded at him quickly, trying to control your breathing.

“Good, you’re doing such a good job sweetheart. Can I touch you, is that okay?” His voice was warm and soothing.

Once again you nodded, you hand slowly reaching for his. He grabbed your hand, bringing it to his heart and nodding at you. With his other hand he rubbed small circles onto your back, modeling the deep breaths he wanted you to replicate. And as you returned to equilibrium, he sang more praises into your ear.

“That’s it, good girl. You did so good sweetheart. It’s okay.” He gently pulled you into his arms and you hugged him back fiercely.

“I’m really sorry I scared you. I want you to know that I would never hurt you, I know that trust is a hard thing to give, but I will work for it everyday if you’ll let me.” Eddie spoke into your hair.

Pulling back slightly to catch his gaze you wondered aloud:

“You still want this? Eddie, I’m a mess – if anything, this just proves that. I have a three-year-old and a baby on the way, are you sure?” You looked into his eyes questioningly.

“Look I am beyond terrified here, and I am pretty sure my uncle is gonna smack me senseless when I tell him, but I have known from the moment I laid eyes on you, that you were different, and I needed to be with you.” He smiled, pulling back so he could see more of you.

You smiled back at him, and he gently wiped the tears from your cheeks. You leaned into his touch, and he leaned in for a sweet kiss. Maybe things would be okay after all.

*Three Months Later*

Things were not okay. Wayne had a conniption when Eddie told him you were pregnant, even more so when he found out that Eddie had practically ditched you for nearly two months after the conception. You and Eddie were constantly bickering, trying to figure out how to do this right.

You had gotten into a pretty big argument when he had suggested you get married. It had gone back and forth, him saying it was the right thing to do and you coming back with the fact that you two really didn’t know one another.

You had ultimately worked things out, but the current topic up for debate was where you were going to live. Claudia wanted you to stay with her, her reason being that she could help you and it’s good to be close to family. Wayne had suggested that you get your own place, informing you that there were some nice, affordable apartments that he passes on his way to work each day, he even offered to go with you to look at them. You and Eddie had talked about it and could quite come to a decision. It was too soon for the two of you to move in together, but it would be really nice to have a mutual space to raise your child together, especially if you were going to build a relationship with one another.

You had been lost in thought thinking about what you were going to do, where you were going to live and how things would affect James when a knock on the door pulled you from your thoughts.

“Honey, Eddie is here!” Claudia called you.

“Okay, be right there.” You shouted back to here, pulling a sweater over your head you made your way to the door.

“Drive safe you guys, and I can’t wait to hear about the scan when you guys get back for dinner!” Claudia hugged you.

“Thanks aunt Claudia, we will see you tonight.” With that you made your exit.

Eddie was taking you to your appointment, you had held off on finding out the sex of the baby because nobody could agree. Robin and Steve thought you should wait and let it be a surprise, Claudia and Wayne thought you should find out to be able to plan more effectively, Dustin and all the teens thought you should have a party and tell everyone together. So, to try and appease everyone you were going to have a dinner party at Claudia’s house and announce the sex to everyone.

As you climbed into Eddie’s van, you could practically feel him buzzing beside you. His van was another topic that would need to be discussed – definitely not safe for car seats or children.

“What are you so excited about? You’re also super early Eds, the appointment isn’t until one.” Pointing to the clock on the dash that currently posted 11:30 am.

“I know, but I think I found us a place!” He flashed you his signature Eddie grin.

“Really? Where?” You were skeptical.

“Forrest hills, and before you say no, just come and see it with me first!” Eddie knew you too well at this point.

“Okay, I will check it out with you…is that where we’re going now?”

“Yes! I scheduled an appointment, I figured we could go see the place, grab a quick bite, then go to the doctor…is that okay?” Eddie looked nervous.

“Eddie, that’s great. Thank you.” You grabbed his hand to hold the remainder of the ride.

As you pulled up to the trailer park and around to the necessary lot, you were at a loss for words, it didn’t even look like a trailer home, the place was beautiful. Eddie brought the van to a halt and looked over to you, he was pretty pleased with your reaction so far. You would’ve never guessed what was to come next. Eddie reached over, grabbed your left hand and slipped one of his rings onto your ring finger.

“Wha-What are you doing?” You tried to pull your hand away from Eddie.

“Don’t worry, this isn’t another half-assed ploy to get you to marry me, I just read that couples tend to get a better deal on homes. I figured us pretending couldn’t hurt. We should’ve brought James though, really seal the deal.” Eddie explained.

“First of all, I can’t believe you did so much research on all this. Second of all, we will not exploit my son Eddie!” You fell into a fit of laughter at how ridiculous this all was.

The trailer had everything you wanted and more, it had three bedrooms, which meant James and his sibling could each have their own while Eddie and you shared. It felt crazy to think about the two of you sharing a room and living together. The kitchen was spacious, which excited you, you loved to cook! The living room had just enough space that you could comfortably host your friends. You were feeling really optimistic.

“Oh my gosh, Eddie, this place is so beautiful, and it would be perfect for us, but can we really afford it?” You looked at Eddie only to see him wearing a shit eating grin.

“Perfect for us?” He nudged your arm gently.

“Stop it, yes for us! Now back to my question.” You rolled your eyes.

“Well, I think we can afford the monthly rent, we just might need some help for the deposit.” He explained.

“I have some savings, but maybe we could sit down with Claudia and Wayne and talk about it. I think it is a really good option for us.”

“Alright guys, how are you doing? Any pain, discomfort, changes since I last saw you?” The doctor asked.

“We’re good, no pain or discomfort, everything is pretty much the same.” You replied.

“What about the pain you were feeling the other day?” Eddie chimed in.

“That was just an ache, I brought it up at the last appointment, it’s just my body making more room for the baby.” You informed him.

“Ah yes, that is very normal. Back pain and achiness in your abdominal area are common as your body makes accommodations for the baby. Speaking of which, are we ready to find out the sex?” The doctor looked between you and Eddie.

“Yes, we are ready.” You smiled up at Eddie.

“Alright, well let’s start with the heartbeat. It’s strong and steady, just as we would expect. And as for development, we appear to be right on track.” She went through the different points of the appointment.

Eddie and you shared a look with misty eyes, just happy to have such a healthy baby.

“And here we are, okay, alright you are having a – “

*At the Dinner Party*

You couldn’t stop smiling. Everyone had dressed up for the occasion, well, at your request anyway. You had wanted this to be a formal dinner party, good food, nice plates, candles, and a more formal dress code.

Eddie looked over at you from his spot on the couch, he had insisted that you were glowing, coming up on your sixth month of pregnancy. You personally felt that you looked huge, everything was swollen, your hands, feet, stomach, hell even your face looked swollen. You shook your head from the thought and began looking around at all your loved ones.

Dustin, Will, Mike and Lucas were sprawled out over the love seat, talking about Eddie’s latest campaign while Max and El were sitting on the floor below them laughing. Nancy and Johnathan were sitting outside with Argyle. Steve and Chrissy were looking pretty cozy together sitting across from Robin and Vicky on the chairs in the living room. Claudia was cooking dinner in the kitchen and Wayne and Eddie were sitting on the main couch with James. Your heart had never felt as full as it did in this moment.

“Alright everyone, dinner is ready!” Claudia called out.

The dining room table certainly wasn’t big enough for all the people who had gathered with you guys tonight, so Wayne had been kind enough to bring in a folding table and some chairs to expand the seating. As you all found your seats, Eddie placed his hand on the small of your back, his way of letting you know that he’s there with you. Claudia had placed the last dish on the table and gestured for everyone to be seated. Eddie and you had remained standing at the head of the table, ready to announce the gender. Eddie got everyone’s attention by clinking his knife against his glass, gazes quickly shifted towards you.

“I’d like to start by thanking everyone for being here today, knowing that you all care about us and this little bean means the absolute world to us. It hasn’t been long since I have been here in Hawkins, but in that time, my family has grown, new friends have been made and I just, I feel so incredibly lucky that this little girl is going to have so many aunts and uncles to spoil her rotten.” You looked up into Eddie’s eyes.

The group collectively cheered hearing it was a girl, Eddie walked over to James, picking him up and bringing him back over to you. You pressed a big smooch onto James’ left cheek while Eddie pressed one onto his right cheek. The two had bonded so much in the last three months and it was the sweetest thing you’d ever seen.

“Hey bubba, you’re gonna have a little sister soon.” You told him.

“A sister! When is she coming?” James said moving one of his little hands to your stomach.

“Well bud she should be here in a little more than three months.” Eddie said.

“Is she my birthday present?” James asked and the group erupted with laughter.

“No baby, you will get a whole birthday party with presents all for yourself before she gets here, okay?” You brushed his hair back.

“Okay!” He smiled and leaned his head onto Eddie’s chest.

“Let’s eat!”

Throughout dinner, multiple topics were brought up, the name of your little girl, when the baby shower would be held and where, who the godparents would be as well as where you would be living. Eddie and you shared a look at that question, making a silent note to talk to Claudia and Wayne about that after dinner. Everyone helped clean up afterwards and goodbyes were shared as people began making their exit.

“Ms. Henderson, Wayne, could we talk to you guys about something?” Eddie got their attention.

“Oh, of course.” Claudia said, ushering you all to the living room.

“So, before the doctor’s office today, we had another appointment to go to.” Eddie started.

“Did you guys go to the courthouse?” Wayne accused.

“Oh God, no, we will definitely inform all of you prior to any sort of nuptials.” You clarified.

“We um, we went and saw a place today. It is in Forrest Hills, and I know that you both mentioned wanting something better for us, but it’s brand new, has three rooms, and it would be close to both of you, so we wouldn’t have to worry about not seeing either of you often. And the best part, we’re pretty sure between both of our jobs, we can afford it. We would just need some help until she can get back to work.” Eddie gave them all the information you had put together prior to this conversation.

“It sounds like you guys have really thought this out.” Wayne muttered.

Claudia wore an expression that you couldn’t quite read. It almost looked like she was fighting an internal battle, unsure of how to proceed with whatever she was inevitably about to share.

“Sweetie, I have something I need to tell you. Your dad called me a while back.” Claudia looked incredibly guilty.

“What? I mean, what did he want?” You reached for Eddie to ground yourself.

“Honey, he misses you. He wanted to know how you were and I told him you were doing good, that you were thriving here. I um, I may have mentioned that you were expecting again, and well, he started sending letters.” You couldn’t believe the words coming out of her mouth.

“Letters? Aunt Claudia, why didn’t you tell me? What did the letters say?” you were in disbelief.

“Well, the letters were him explaining himself, apologizing, wishing you well, but that’s not all, I guess he had an account set aside for you, from when you were a child, that he has continued to put money into, and he sent over all the information for you to access it. He has also set up a college fund for James and he’s gone ahead and set one up for the baby as well.” Claudia reached for your hand.

You were in shock; you hadn’t heard from your dad in about 3 years and 5 months. It had been that long since he and your mother had kicked you out after you’d informed them of your pregnancy. You glanced up at Claudia and you could tell she had only kept it from you to protect you. She cared like that.

“Sweetie, the reason I am telling you all of this is that he has enough money set aside for you that you guys should be able to move into this place with no worry, and plenty of money left over to continue saving.” She explained to you.

Eddie and you couldn’t believe it, you guys would be able to move in together and you’d still be close to everyone you care about.

*One Month Later*

You were officially six and a half months along in your pregnancy and boy were you feeling it. You were exhausted all the time, and your back and feet were pretty much always killing you.

On a lighter note, you had officially begun moving into your place with Eddie. Wayne and Claudia had helped immensely, Wayne managed to get Eddie a new more family friendly van and Claudia had gotten you a bunch of furniture for the house. People who were close to you had donated old furniture to you guys too. Nancy’s mom gave you guys her couches since she had gotten new ones, Joyce gave you a bed for James – Will had grown out of it. Hopper had given you pretty much everything you could need for a kitchen since he and El moved in with Joyce and they didn’t need two of everything.

Things had been moving far faster than you would’ve liked, you felt like you couldn’t catch your breath, but just a few more months and things would settle. Eddie had stepped into his new role as a significant other and parental figure beautifully. He truly had been so amazing with James, part of you thinks that he really grew close with James after you’d informed him that his namesake is derived from none other than the lead vocalist to Metallica. But seriously, Eddie had grown fond of James, and he knew just how to be there for him. It made the image of your future much clearer, you, him and the kids in your perfect home.

You guys had talked about names for the baby and had finally settled on something, which was exciting. Eddie had suggested announcing the name at the baby shower that Robin was throwing for you next month, but you insisted on waiting until she was here to tell anyone, explaining that when you see her, your minds might change as yours had with James. He admitted to not having even thought about that and eventually agreed to wait.

*Three Weeks Later*

Eddie had been instructed to keep you out of your house until 2:30 pm. Robin had told you she wanted to hold the baby shower at your house for two reasons, one being that you wouldn’t have to drag all the gifts home and two being that it could double as a housewarming.

Given that instruction, Eddie made sure to take you and James out for a late breakfast, then to a few shops. He wanted to take you to the bookstore so you could pick up the novel you’ve had on hold. He also wanted to stop by the only baby store in town to pick up the car seat and the crib. His last thing on the list was to take James to the toy store, wanting to make sure he has a special part of this day too.

After making all those stops you turned to make your way to the car before Eddie grabbed your hand.

“Hold on just a second, there’s one more place I would like to go.” He stated.

“Okay.” You looked at him questioningly.

Eddie picked James up, putting him on his shoulders and you linked your arm through his. He led you down the street a little further and then turned into this little park. The flowers were all in bloom and the sight was truly breathtaking. Different shades of green, white, pink and yellow strewn through a small garden area within the park. Beyond the trees lining the entrance way there was a white garden bench. Eddie motioned for you to sit as he took James off his shoulders, returning him to the ground. James climbed up on the bench to sit next to you and Eddie took his place on the other side of him.

“So, I know things for us didn’t exactly start off great, but I am really happy with where we are now. I just, things with you have proven to be everything I have ever wanted. I have always questioned whether or not I would be a good dad, since my old man was a deadbeat, but you have convinced me that I am not him and that I am capable of this. Now, sweetheart I have messed this up twice already and I won’t do it again. Will you marry me?” Eddie asked as he pulled the small velvet box from his pocket.

Tears were already falling as you nodded year head yes and broke out into the biggest smile. James was clapping, he leaned over and hugged you and then looked at Eddie.

“Mommy, is Eddie daddy now?” James asked.

Eddie had just slid the ring onto your finger. Your eyes shot up to his in surprise and you gave him a look, silently asking if it was okay for James to call him that. Eddie gave a subtle nod and so you replied to James.

“Yeah baby, Eddie is daddy now.” You kissed the top of his head.

Eddie checked his watch and cursed under his breath.

“We gotta get back babe, Robin is gonna be pissed.” Eddie told you.

“Language Eds!” You hissed.

You guys rushed back to the car, each of you holding one of James’ hands getting him settled in and driving back home. You could hardly park there were so many cars outside. You could hear the chatter as you walked up the few steps to your door.

Eddie pushed open the door and a chorus of surprise rang out. The decorations were a combination of engagement party and baby shower things, ring and baby bottle balloons. A simple “congratulations” banner, pink cups and gold forks. It was truly wonderful. You guys played silly baby shower games, ate some food and opened a bunch of gifts, after things had died down a bit, the boys carried in the crib and Wayne helped Eddie install the car seat.

*One Month Later*

Eight months. You were eight months along and it was killing you. You wanted this pregnancy to be over, it wasn’t that you’d had particularly bad symptoms or anything like that. This pregnancy had really just been killing your feet and back and despite what the doctor tells you, you were convinced that your little girl was going to be 15 pounds.

You were heading to work; this was your last week before you took leave. Your boss had been pretty cool, allowing you to sit on a stool behind the counter during your shift, he made the mid shift employees do the majority of the restocking and he’d fought the owner to allow you a lengthy maternity leave despite you only being employed there eight months.

Eddie had left for work before you, he had been taking on extra shifts at the garage trying to save up a little extra and get the last few cars he’s been working on done before he takes a short leave from work. After he left, Claudia arrived to pick up James, she had been watching him from time to time, and when she couldn’t Steve, Robin, Chrissy, Dustin, Max and El all took turns watching him. Thankfully he will be four soon and come September you’ll be able to get him enrolled in preschool. Your mind was all over the place this morning.

You were going through one of the new releases boxes when you felt it. The unmistakable pain of a contraction. You checked the clock so you could keep an eye on the timing of them. About an hour later your boss noticed how you pressed your hand into your side and the audible hissing sounds you were making.

“Hey, that is the third time in the last fifteen minutes that you’ve made that sound. Are you good?” He questioned.

“Um, yeah. I’m good, it’s probably just false labor. That can happen when you get towards the end of your pregnancy.” You told him, ending with a gasp as your water breaks.

“Oh, shit dude. Who can I call for you? 911?” He looks more panicked than you feel.

“No, can you call the garage, Eddie is working. If he doesn’t answer, call my aunt Claudia.” You instruct him.

The guys at the garage informed you that Eddie had stepped away for lunch, and Claudia hadn’t answered the home phone, which had you assuming she had taken James out somewhere. You thought about who you could call, and you realized that your friends would either be working or be in school. There was one person who you knew would be home and available to take you.

“Could you call Wayne Munson?”

About six minutes later, Wayne’s truck sped through the parking lot of the record store and came to a screeching halt. He came into the store frantically and searched for you.

“Over here Mr. Munson.” You called him over.

“Oh kid, how many times do I have to tell you to call me Wayne. Now, how you doin��? Let’s get you to the hospital okay?” Wayne said as he helped you up and out to the car.

Wayne got you to the hospital pretty quickly, he continuously reassured you that everything would be okay, telling you that he would call everyone as soon as you got settled. He even checked you in once you’d gotten up to the desk. A nurse came over and took you to a room, giving you a gown to change into and getting all your paperwork filled out and wires hooked up. While this was all happening, Wayne had taken leave and went to the payphones to call Eddie and Claudia first and foremost.

Eddie had never run so fast in his life; he was rushing through the halls trying to get to you in time. He had been moving so quickly that he missed the crowd of his friends and family sitting in the waiting room.

“Jesus son, slow down! She’s in room 206.” Wayne called out to Eddie.

Eddie could only nod, he couldn’t believe that this was happening, tonight you would bring your daughter into the world, and he couldn’t wait. It was James who snapped Eddie out of his haze. James had wandered over and wrapped his tiny arms around Eddie’s legs. Eddie bent over and picked James up, he could tell that James was tired by the way he tucked his face into Eddie’s neck.

“Where’s mommy?” James mumbled.

“Oh, buddy I’m gonna go see mommy okay. She’s gonna bring us your little sister tonight.” Eddie patted James’ back softly.

“But it’s not my birthday yet!” James whined.

“I know bub, but your sister wanted to be here for your party, so she decided to come a little early.” Eddie tried to reason with the three-year-old.

“Okay daddy.” James seemed content and Eddie passed him back to Claudia.

He looked around at everyone, smiled and then ran to your hospital room. He arrived just as another contraction ripped through you. As the door flew open, you looked over and saw Eddie standing there, a mess in his work coveralls.

“Oh, thank God you are here!” You seethed through gritted teeth.

“That’s right, I am here sweetheart, I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” He made his way to you.

Before he could make any sort of contact with you and nurse stopped him, prompting him to go clean himself up, while handing him a set of scrubs and a bar of soap. She shooed him away and towards the bathroom. He made quick work of changing and used the bar or soap to scrub up to his elbows. He used the hair tie on his wrist to pull his hair up into a bun and made his way out to you. It was perfect timing as the hospital staff had gotten you all set to be moved to the delivery room.

“Are you ready Eds? This is it.” You looked at him, doubt flashing in your eyes.

“I am so ready sweetheart, let’s go meet our daughter.” He spoke as he grabbed your hand.

Thirty minutes later, your baby girl was placed into your arms. Eddie and you had both cried. Eddie cut the umbilical cord, the nurses took her to clean her off and take her feet and handprints, as well as her measurements. You were cleaned up as well and they took you back to your room.

“So how do you feel about the name we picked…still like it?” You asked looking over to Eddie who was sitting holding your newborn against his bare chest.

“I think it is perfect.” He replied.

You pressed the call button for the nurse and when she arrived you let her know you were ready to fill out the birth certificate. She brought in the necessary paperwork and allowed you guys to fill it out. Before the ink was even dry, Eddie was placing your daughter back in your arms, throwing the scrub top back on and heading to the waiting room, he let them know that they would all be allowed in soon, but that James needed to meet his little sister first. James walked in at Eddie’s side and when he saw you he hurried over to your bedside wanting to be lifted up. Eddie lifted him and placed him in the middle of the bed, just to the side of your legs. James’ eyes glistened with what could only be described as love. He looked up to you and smiled.

“Mommy, she’s so pretty. Thank you for my sister.” James whispered to you.

This had you and Eddie both smiling. You reached over and caressed James’ cheek. Looking at Eddie, you nodded signaling him to invite everyone in. Eddie went back to the waiting room to tell everyone to come into your room. They all filed in, some even dragging in chairs from the hallway. There were oohs and ahhs from everyone in the room, they were fighting over who got to hold her first. You called Wayne over.

“Wayne, would you like to meet your granddaughter?” You looked to him for an answer.

He sniffed and wiped his eyes before making his way to you. Gently taking her from your arms and stepping back towards Claudia.

“Sorry aunt Claudia, you can hold her next. Wayne drove me here and has been waiting out there the longest, so I thought it was only fair.” You tried to justify your decision.

“Sweetie it’s okay! But yes I do definitely get her next!” She said.

She was passed around from person to person, the room was comfortably quiet as everyone took in her beauty. Once she had finally made her way back to Eddie and you, you looked around. Once again, you were so incredibly thankful for all of the wonderful people you had in your life. You felt so lucky.

“Alright, is everybody ready?” Eddie posed the question to the room, and after a collective nod, he continued. “I would like to formally introduce you to Stevie Elena Munson.”

If Wayne hadn’t been crying before, he definitely was now. He walked over to Eddie and clapped his hand down on his shoulder and reached to give your hand a squeeze.

“That’s a nice thing you’ve done there. Ed, your momma would be so happy that you’re using her name.” Wayne wiped his face once again.

“We wanted to honor her, plus it was easy given that Elena is such a beautiful name.” You informed him.

“So where did you get Stevie then?” Steve asked, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face.

“Oh no, not from you dude. Sorry. We got it from Stevie Nicks. We wanted to keep the music theme going.” Eddie broke the news to Steve.

Steve’s face fell, but only for a moment.

“Steve don’t worry, we have good news for you too. Could you and Robin come over here please?” You motioned to your bedside. Once they made there way over you continued; “We would like the two of you to be the godparents for Stevie.”

The pair of them were elated, thanking you for your trust and mentioning their plans to spoil her. Robin included a few panicked questions along the way. Conversation continues amongst everyone and the warmth within you only continues to grow, knowing that you are surrounded by people who you love and that give you love in return. They had all certainly raised your expectations for the love you feel you deserve.

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candycandy00 · 7 months

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The Doll House - A Toji x Reader Fanfic Part 2

You’re in love with Toji, even after finding out he trains sex dolls at the Doll House. Taking a chance, you sell yourself to the Doll House so he can be your trainer, and you bet him that you can make him fall for you by the end of the training.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Read Geto’s Part Here!

Read Nanami’s Part Here!

Read Sukuna’s Part Here!

Read Gojo’s Part Here!

Read Choso’s Part Here!

AU! Each trainer will get their own story! This is Toji’s. I’m not sure how many parts it will have. If you’d like to be tagged in future parts, let me know! You must be an adult to be tagged! Any feedback whatsoever is adored! I’m keeping the same tag list as Geto’s part. If you’d like to be removed, please let me know!

Note: Consider these parts AU’s within an AU. So you might see Geto with a different doll from the reader in his part, but just consider this an alternate timeline lol.

Smut. 18+. Short Fem Reader. Cock drunk reader. Age difference (Reader is 20, Toji is 38). Size difference kink. Oral sex. Fingering. Use of aphrodisiacs. Divider by @benkeibear!

Toji looks down at the doll sitting on her knees between his parted thighs, running her wet tongue along the underside of his cock, from his balls to his tip. She takes as much of him into her mouth as possible, but he’s just too big. Any more than halfway and she’s choking. Doesn’t stop her from trying though, bless her cock hungry little heart.

It’s been nearly two weeks since he began training her, and she’s gotten extremely good at giving head. She pays close attention to what Toji likes, what little movements or techniques make him grunt or twitch. Usually the dolls he trains are so focused on their own pleasure, on satisfying their own hunger for dick, that they don’t put much effort into pleasing him.

There are several ways this doll is different. Like usual, he fucks every hole she has every single day, normally multiple times. And like any other doll she begs for it, constantly wanting to be stuffed full of him. She can take all of him now, though she’s still so tight it feels like his dick is in a vice grip when it’s buried in that tiny pussy of hers.

But unlike any other doll, she wants more from him. She asks him questions about himself all the time. What’s his favorite color? His favorite food? What types of music does he like? Where did he grow up? What’s his family like?

He’s answered some of these, and she was surprised when he told her he has a son. But then she smiled and said, “I hope I can meet him someday.”

“You might get to,” he’d told her. “Whenever I can’t find someone to watch him, I have to bring him to work with me.”

She’d gaped at him with a horrified expression. “You bring your son here?!”

He’d laughed then. “Don’t look at me that way! It’s not like I bring him into the room to watch! I hooked a PlayStation up in one of the empty rooms. I leave him in there with some snacks and he’s fine. I tell the other trainers so they can make sure their dolls are dressed in the dining hall.”

“Oh. That doesn’t sound as terrible as I thought,” she said. “It’s still not good though. I mean he knows what goes on here, right? Or at least has a vague idea.”

Toji had shrugged. “I don’t know what that kid is aware of. He hardly speaks to me. But he gets along with the others. It’s like he has four cool uncles.”

“Don’t you mean five?”

Toji grimaced. “Sukuna isn’t allowed to speak to him anymore. One day my kid asked him why there was always screaming coming from his room. He could have made up anything. But he looks my nine year old right in the face and says, ‘Because I’m torturing a woman in there.’ After that, Sukuna’s cool uncle privileges were revoked.”

She had laughed, despite being mildly disturbed. He’d laughed too, and it struck him then: he’d never had a conversation like this with a doll he was training. It was all sex all the time. They didn’t care about his personal life and he didn’t care about theirs. They had nothing to talk about besides what was for dinner or where he wanted them to bend over next.

He was reminded of the times he’d chatted with her in the convenience store. She’d always been so easy to talk to, so friendly and cheerful. He tries not to remember that. He’s always made a conscious effort to not view his dolls as people with lives outside this house. Because that makes it easier to fuck them over and over again and then turn them over to the next guy who will do the same. All the dolls accepted to the Doll House willingly sign their contracts. The owner doesn’t take women who are clearly being sold off against their will, but most of them sign because they’re desperate in some way. Toji prefers not to think about that.

But this new doll actually wants to get to know him. He knows he shouldn’t encourage that behavior, but she was already in love with him before the training started. Is there any point in trying to keep her from getting too attached?

Even the way she sucks his cock is different. She absolutely devours it, taking it so far down her throat that it feels like she’s trying to swallow it, but the way she looks at it, and him in general, is different. She doesn’t just look at him with lust in her eyes. There’s a genuine affection he hasn’t seen since… Well, he hasn’t seen it in a long time.

And when he cums in her mouth, completely coating her throat, tongue, lips, she looks up at his face and smiles so sweetly. Like he just did her a favor.

A shame she won’t be reserving that look for him much longer.

********************

You get to your feet as you lick your lips, making sure to swallow every last drop of Toji’s beloved cum. You’re not satisfied. Not in the least. It’s late in the evening and he’s only fucked your pussy once today. So you go over to the dresser and bend over onto it, looking behind you and wiggling your bare ass.

“Toji… fill me up, please?”

He gets up from the chair he’d been sitting in and saunters over to you, his slow pace driving you mad. He’s still dressed, but his pants are unzipped and his still hard cock is hanging out. The “aphrodisiacs” you both take every day have some strange side effects. One of them being Toji’s ability to stay hard even after cumming multiple times.

Lately he’s been increasing the dose he gives you. You’re not sure why. You don’t think you even need it to begin with. You spent countless nights touching yourself while imagining being fucked by him, way before he ever gave you the first dose. But he’s the trainer, and you agreed to do as he said.

He doesn’t really have any rules aside from insisting you take the aphrodisiacs. You can go anywhere in the house aside from the other trainers’ personal rooms and can even leave the house if you want, so long as you return by nightfall. You’ve never left since you got here though. You don’t want to waste a single moment that you could be spending with Toji.

One of the biggest perks of being his doll is that you’ve been given a front row seat to his life. You get to see exactly how he spends his time, what his routines are.

Every morning he takes a shower, grabs breakfast in the dining hall (sometimes you go with him and the two of you eat there together but most often he simply brings two plates back to his room), and then the two of you spend a few hours doing various things. Mostly fucking, though sometimes things get a little adventurous and you play strip poker together or even watch each other masturbate at the same time. Toji doesn’t seem picky about the activity. As long as it results in him cumming multiple times in a row, he’s up for anything.

Lunch is always snacks or microwaved meals from the convenience store. He doesn’t seem to like what’s usually on the lunch menu in the dining hall. You sometimes get lunch there by yourself.

In the afternoons, Toji often works out. There’s an exercise room at the house with some pretty impressive equipment. You suppose that explains how all the trainers have such perfect physiques. You love watching Toji lift weights or even run on the treadmill, your eyes glued to his sculpted form as his muscles move beneath his clothes. By the time he’s finished, you’re absolutely drenched and practically dragging him back to his room. Once you were so horny you locked the door to the exercise room and hiked your skirt up while he was doing pull ups. You ended up hanging from the bar by your trembling hands while he fucked you mercilessly from below.

On some evenings, Toji goes to check on his son Megumi. You hate being without him for a couple of hours, but you understand that it’s important for him to go. You’re dying to ask about Megumi’s mother. You know she’s no longer in the picture, as Megumi is staying with other relatives, but you don’t know if she died or just ran off and abandoned the family. You’ve danced around the edges of the topic, but never directly addressed it.

There’s a sorrow buried deep in Toji’s eyes whenever you get close to mentioning her, when you ask other, related questions hoping to get more information. “Why is Megumi staying with relatives?” “Does he look more like you?” “What did you do before you became a trainer?” All were asked in the hopes that he would talk about her, but he very pointedly never mentioned her. So you’ve stopped asking those sorts of questions. Obviously, thinking about her hurts him, and you love him enough to want to avoid that.

Now, as Toji grips your waist with his large, strong hands and rams his enormous cock into your eager pussy, you lose track of your thoughts. The only thing on your mind is the feeling of his powerful thrusts, the rhythm he builds, his skin against yours.

You’re bent over the dresser, the few items he has there scattered across the floor now. You can see him in the mirror behind you, can see his handsome face, slightly flushed from the exertion of absolutely pounding you. He sees your reflection watching him and grins at you, the charming scar on his mouth stretching slightly. As if to give you a treat, he pulls his shirt over his head, allowing you to get a good look at his muscular body.

After a moment, you glance at your own face in the mirror, and hardly recognize it. Your hair is a mess, your face red, your mouth hanging slightly open, a sheen on your lips from Toji’s cum, and your eyes… They look different somehow, like tinted glass. Is this what they call a “blissed out” face?

“Harder,” you mutter between moans.

“What was that?” Toji asks.

“Harder! Please!” you cry, suddenly feeling like it’s not enough unless he’s all the way in you womb. Is this because of the aphrodisiacs? You’re so needy today.

He leans over onto you, his chest against your back, and whispers, “Sure you can handle that?”

You meet his gaze in the mirror. “I can handle anything if it’s from you.”

“If you say so,” he says, then suddenly straightens up and lifts you into the air, holding you in front of him by your hips. You’re folded in half in midair, your arms and legs dangling above the floor. You look in the mirror and watch him relentlessly drill into your limp body, with you hanging in front of him like a literal rag doll.

“Ahhh… Toji! S-so deep…” you cry out, your body jerking in time with his thrusts.

*****************

The doll feels light as a feather in Toji’s grasp as he holds her body in front of him, fucking her so hard she has tears in her eyes. But she wants this, evidenced by the look of sheer joy on her face, the pretty lilting moans floating up from her lips.

There’s something lurid about how small and helpless she looks in the mirror, as he literally uses her body like a living fleshlight, when combined with her obvious arousal. The “aphrodisiacs”, as he calls them, are working. She’s becoming more and more obsessed with having his cock inside her, with being fucked as hard as possible. This is the key to his training: making the dolls want to be fucked all the time. Making them hungry for it.

Dolls trained by Toji are in high demand among straight male buyers. After all, who among them doesn’t want a beautiful woman who constantly begs for their dick? The other trainers cater to more specialized tastes, but Toji covers a wider clientele.

Getting his dolls hooked on his dick isn’t that hard. Toji is aware that he’s attractive. He may not be “pretty” like Gojo or Geto, but he’s got the sort of body that almost everyone who likes men finds irresistible. And he’s very good at what he does. He knows exactly how to hit every sweet spot, how to make women cum repeatedly on his cock.

No, the challenge is in getting his dolls hooked on cock in general, so that their addiction to him will easily transfer to their owners. The Doll House is a classy establishment. They’re picky about their buyers. So while they may not all be handsome, at the very least, none of them are disgusting. Personal hygiene, dressing well, and having a background free of violence are all very important.

But this doll claims to be in love with Toji, says she’s had feelings for him for two years. Getting her to transfer those feelings will definitely be a tough job. But Toji can do it. His training is thorough. Looking at her glazed eyes in the mirror, he can see that she’s losing herself to the pleasure.

He rams into her, hitting a spot that makes her scream, and then she’s cumming, twitching in his grip. Her pussy is already ridiculously tight, but when she climaxes she clamps down on him, squeezing him until he fills her completely with his cum.

She’s still quivering as he pulls her off his cock and flips her around, now holding her in his arms bridal style. She curls against his chest, her face nearly hidden. “I love you, Toji.”

He carries her to the bed and covers her up, then steps out of the room. He hears voices from the dining hall, so he follows them to find Gojo and Nanami sitting at one of the tables, talking. It’s way past dinner time, so it’s no surprise that the room is empty aside from them. There’s a steaming cup of coffee on the table in front of Nanami and in front of Gojo, some sort of ice cream-cookie-brownie monstrosity that makes Toji’s teeth hurt just to look at.

Toji walks over to the table but doesn’t sit down. He looks at Gojo and says, “You’re between dolls right now, right?”

Gojo grins as he shoves a spoonful of dessert into his mouth. “Yeah. My little puppy princess left yesterday. Why?” But before Toji can answer, Gojo says, “Oh right! It’s about that time, huh?”

Toji nods. “So can you come around this time tomorrow night?”

Gojo gives him a thumbs up while he chews, then replies after swallowing. “I’ll be there!”

Nanami looks at both of them with disapproval, but doesn’t say anything, instead taking a drink of his coffee. He’s between dolls as well, but Toji knows better than to ask for his help.

Part of Toji’s training is getting his dolls to want cock even if it’s not his. And so, after a couple of weeks, he gets his fellow trainers to help out by fucking the doll he’s training. Nanami refused the first time Toji asked, and made it clear he would never change his mind. The others will usually do it if they’re not currently training a doll. Sukuna will regardless of whether or not he has a doll at the time, but Toji prefers not to ask him. The man is a bit unsettling even to the other trainers.

Gojo is Toji’s first pick. The man can drive women wild with a glance, and Toji’s dolls are always excited about the chance to fuck him.

After confirming the plans with Gojo, Toji returns to his room and sits down on the bed next to his sleeping doll. She’s smiling in her sleep, probably dreaming of being fucked real good. He brushes the hair from her face with one hand, wondering, far from the first time, what she could possibly love about him.

“Poor thing,” he says quietly. “You’re gonna lose this bet.”

*********************

The next morning, after breakfast, Toji gives you the slightly increased dose of aphrodisiacs. Within minutes you feel the familiar heat spreading through your body, the building urge to tear your clothes off and fling yourself into Toji’s arms.

As your mind races through different ideas for sexy shenanigans you can get into today, Toji sits down in one of the two chairs in his room and says, “I think I’m coming down with something.” For emphasis, he coughs lightly.

You look up at him in alarm. “Oh no, are you feeling sick? What’s bothering you?”

He rubs his neck. “My throat’s a little sore. I’ll be fine in a day or two. I never stay sick long. But I better not exert myself today.”

You nod, understanding what he means. No wild fucking today. You wish he’d told you this before giving you the aphrodisiac, but what’s done is done. You walk over to him. “I can just suck you off today. That would be okay, right?”

He stops you before you can drop to your knees. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I don’t wanna get my heart beating fast.”

“Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t think of that. Well can I do anything to make you feel better? A back rub? Or if they’ll let me use the kitchen I can make you some soup or…”

He holds a hand up to stop you. “No, you don’t need to do anything. Thanks anyway. I’m just gonna get some rest.”

You watch as he climbs into bed. You resist the urge to tuck him in. Acting like a wife might overstep a boundary for him. But now you’re left standing here, incredibly horny. With no other options available, you go to the bathroom to masturbate. It feels hollow and unsatisfying without Toji there to make it interesting, but it does ease a bit of the ache.

The rest of the day is spent watching tv on low volume so as not to disturb Toji’s rest, with frequent trips to the bathroom to relieve the pressure of your arousal. Once you even sit on the floor beside Toji’s bed and pleasure yourself to the sounds of his breathing. Have you always been this desperate?

At dinner, you go to the dining hall and fetch plates for the both you and Toji. You try to find foods that would make Toji feel better while also keeping his tastes in mind. When you wake him up, he eats the dinner you brought without complaint, and seems to be feeling better. Maybe he’s not getting sick after all? Maybe he’s just tired.

After he’s finished eating, he looks at the clock, then stands up and walks to the mini fridge. “Time for your evening dose,” he says.

You look at him in confusion. “Oh, I thought I wouldn’t be taking it tonight. With you feeling bad and all.”

He brings the bottle over and hands it to you. “You can’t just stop. Part of the training is getting your body used to this.”

You hold the cold bottle in your hands. “But today was really hard on me. I wanted you so bad but I couldn’t touch you. I don’t know if I can handle more of that.”

He grins at you. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you tonight. Drink up.”

“Oh, are you feeling better now?” you ask, opening the lid and downing the liquid.

“Not really,” Toji says, “but I’ve made arrangements to make sure you’re satisfied.”

What does that mean? Did he get some toys to use while he’s sick? That’s not exactly satisfying but you suppose if Toji is the one using them on you, they could be fun.

Almost immediately, you feel it. The aphrodisiacs have never hit you this fast before, or this hard. You’re suddenly feverish, your face flushing red, your skin feeling prickly. There’s a growing dampness between your legs, and you drop into the nearby chair, your arms wrapped around yourself, your thighs pressed tightly together.

“Toji… I think something’s wrong.”

He looks at you calmly. “What do you mean?” he asks, though you get the impression he knows exactly what you mean.

“I’m feeling it too much. It’s… too strong,” you mutter, your body beginning to tremble. You stand up and cross the room to him. “Please fuck me! I can’t wait any longer! You can use your fingers or… or anything!”

In your hysteria, you shove one hand under your skirt, rubbing yourself through your panties.

“You’ll be fine. I’m sick so I can’t take care of you myself, but I’m not gonna leave you hanging,” Toji says, ushering you over to the bed and sitting you down on it.

Your mind can barely register what he’s saying. “Please, Toji! It’s like I’m on fire! Please make it stop! I need your cock inside me! I need-“

There’s a knock at Toji’s door. It’s such a rare occurrence that it distracts you from your madness. Toji goes to open it, and you watch, partly in a daze, as Gojo walks in. You’ve met him many times in the dining hall. He always seems friendly, and you remember thinking, the first time you saw him, that he’s a very beautiful man. He doesn’t compare to Toji, of course, but there’s an otherworldly quality to his features that’s quite striking.

Toji throws a casual arm around the other trainer. “Gojo here is gonna look after you tonight in my place.”

Gojo smiles at you, his blue eyes shining. “I’ll take real good care of you,” he says, walking towards you. “You might even like me better than Toji.”

Huh? What’s going on? Your mind is fuzzy. You look to Toji, and he gives you an approving nod. Gojo gently pushes you onto your back on the bed, then climbs on top of you. All your hazy mind can think is, “Wow, those eyes!” Is this beautiful person really going to fuck you? Toji said it’s okay. Hell, it was his idea! So it must be fine, right?

Your body is aching to be touched, to be fucked. And there’s a gorgeous man on top of you, squeezing your breasts through your shirt, kissing your neck. Ahhh, it feels so good! Your eyes slide closed as Gojo pushes your shirt up.

********************

Toji watches Gojo kiss and grope at his doll, in his bed. He’s seen this sight many times before. If not Gojo, it was one of the other trainers. And in all Toji’s years working here, he’s never once been bothered by it. After all, these women didn’t belong to him. He felt no jealousy, no possessiveness.

So why does he feel so irritated now, watching Gojo grind his still clothed body against this doll as he slowly pulls her clothes off, leaving her in nothing but panties. Gojo’s tongue on her nipple, Gojo’s fingers stroking her pussy through the fabric, the sharp little moans she’s making…. All of it irritates Toji. He’s almost definitely won the bet now, but he doesn’t feel like he’s won anything. In fact, he feels like he just lost something.

He looks away, turning his back to the scene. But just a moment later, he hears her voice.

“Wait.”

Toji turns back to look at the bed, where the doll has her hands on Gojo’s chest, pushing him back.

Gojo has stopped touching her and looks down. “Something wrong?”

She glances at Toji and then back to Gojo. “I’m sorry, but I can’t do this with you. I appreciate you offering to help me out, but the only person I want is Toji.”

Gojo gives her a sultry look that would make most women buckle. “Are you sure?”

She nods, her face still flushed, her eyes still glazed. “I’m sure.”

Gojo gets up from the bed and heads for the door. He opens it, then turns back with a smile and says, “See you guys tomorrow!”

Then he’s gone, and Toji is left alone in the room with his very cute, very horny, mostly naked doll. She’s still lying in his bed, breathing hard, staring at him. “I only want you,” she says. “I’ll wait for you. I can endure this until you feel better.”

Suddenly he wants to fuck her more than he ever has before. No doll he’s trained had turned down sex with Gojo before, especially not when they were pumped full of his special “aphrodisiacs” and he’d deprived them of sex all day.

Maybe Gojo just isn’t her type? It sure didn’t seem that way when Gojo was on top of her. And with his training, she should want sex with anyone.

He walks over to the bed, his legs carrying him there as if they have a mind of their own. His cock certainly does. It’s been achingly hard all day, even when he was pretending to be asleep. Hearing her quiet moans coming from the bathroom, and even from a few feet away from him, knowing what she was doing and what she wanted from him… it was agony.

Before he even thinks his actions through, he’s got one hand on her panties, ripping them off with one yank. She gives a little cry of surprise, but her face lights up with joy as she opens her legs to him. Her pussy is glistening with arousal, waiting for him.

He doesn’t waste any time. He ignores her questions about how he’s feeling. Right now, he just needs to be completely buried inside her. So he climbs onto the bed while pulling his cock out of his pants, lifts one of her legs into the air while rolling her onto her side, and plunges into her.

As he rails her there on the bed, he can’t help thinking about the fact that it was almost Gojo doing this. Almost Gojo getting to sheath himself in this sweet, warm, wet little pussy. A pussy meant for Toji.

From this angle, he can see her face, turned sideways on the pillow. It looks like she’s crying, but it must be tears of happiness, because she’s on the edge of cumming already.

“Toji… Toji… Toji!”

Hearing her gasp out his name as her pussy desperately clenches his cock does something to him. And before long he’s shooting his load into her body, then watching it ooze out after separating from her. He’s still hard, and she’s still not satisfied. So he rolls her over to start again.

He’ll have to try something else later. Maybe a different trainer or stronger “aphrodisiacs”. But for right now, in this moment, he only wants to fuck her until she can no longer move.

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