#thanks for asking me!!! v appreciated

[bellocan]

hiii 1, 9 and eleven for relationship asks!!

1. do you prefer pure, innocent romantic interactions or do you prefer obsession and possession? or maybe a mix of both as long as it's relatively healthy and consensual?

ive never really had anyone like me to the point of obsession and possession! but i think id like a mix of both. i like cute and romantic gestures like leaving little flirty love notes or getting flowers or being incorporated into their creative pieces in some manner. there was a girl in high school that liked me that would refuse to leave my side when i was being dumb and isolating myself in the cold. and she'd keep my hands warm with hers. and she'd share an earbud with me and let me listen along with her. i didnt appreciate it back then but it melts my heart reflecting now.

after. my last relationship though. i also want to have zero doubts about the long haul so a little healthy possessiveness would give me a little reassurance! i want to indubitably be someones partner... i like feeling like im theirs and theirs only.

9. what was your longest ever relationship? how and why did it end?

my longest relationship is my first and only. it was ldr and it lasted about 4 and a half years. and i was engaged to them actually. had a nice little intimate christmas proposal in private and everything where i started off with christmas presents and led up to the ring!

in her own words, before she ghosted me, the relationship ended because "nothing has changed between us." she didnt feel like either one of us were growing. despite her finally working and being able to support herself somewhat. and despite me giving all my effort to address our pain points. although a lot of her pain points were nebulous due to fact of them solely involving just how she felt... and of course no matter what a person does, the other will simply feel how they feel. i would assure her that meaningful growth takes time and that measurable growth isnt instantaneous. i feel like she wanted to see her living conditions and her life in general change completely in a short amount of time.

in my own opinion, the relationship started falling apart about halfway through. she reached a point where she said she felt emotionally numb potentially as a result of her meds and couldnt feel intimacy anymore and didnt want to be intimate. i asked her to clarify since physical intimacy isnt my only want in a relationship and isnt even a deal breaker. and she said she wasnt sure. womp womp. despite her saying those things she ended up in bed with one of her university friends/flings. she said that she "just let him share the bed with her since he didnt have a place to sleep and nothing happened between them." and nah i dont quite buy that one bit anymore. especially since her roommate found the need to message me about it. there were a million different solutions she could have went with and she chose the worst one willingfully. at this point i tried breaking up with her or at least go on break. and she more or less guilted me into staying by accusing me of just wanting physical intimacy and sex lol... projecting much... from that point on forward i still put in as much effort as i could muster. but emotionally i was definitely colder. i definitely wasnt as vocal about my love. and then covid hit and the distance became greater. and it looked like it was getting back on track when the travel ban lifted and she stayed with me at my apartment for a month. and i actually believed that it was getting back on track at that point despite feeling uncertainty. and then she drops the break up a few months after blindsiding me.

11. describe your ideal type of romantic interest!!

i love creatives! whether theyre dancers or singers or writers or musicians or artists! i. feel like i have many types... i like confident passionate direct girls... ive been enamored by an architecture major whose hard work was both inspiring and. attractive. i would also put the girl at work i call texas girl in this category. watching her fiddle with components and be determined to resolve issues in any way she can... is attractive. i also like shy quiet. cutesy girls. mellow and sweet. i guess my ideal type would be someone confident and bold and direct... but can also be shy and sweet in private? someone thoughtful and kind. someone thatd make me feel supported and secure and undeniably loved. my love languages are words of affirmation and quality time!!! my romantic interest would be patient and mindful. and we would work as a couple to fix issues instead of shifting blame.

#thanks for asking me!!! v appreciated #ask #luckysyndrome #hope i didnt ramble too much!!!

[beescake]

you invented solkat I think

ACK i am goop. i am merely a student trained by the og solkats of the past decade

#ask #anon #thanks for appreciating my slkts </3 heres a clip from homestuck musical that made me cry laughing #2014 #gif #(karkat) #(sollux) #(solkat) #https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pEOSEK-HZuk #shakes fist listen IM SO NOOB I NEED MORE TO. PROVE MYSELF #u guys havent even seen the Them in my wips... #the wips that i open to melt my own braincells on solkat sentiments and then never complete . #but yes feel free to send solkat headcanons ill try to doodle some! #every day i set aside 20% of my mental processes specifically for them i need those energy reserves used somewhere #sollux enjoyers especially!! #i need ur expertise. talk nerdy to me 🫡

[moeblob]

Deacon willing to help people but doesn't recognize people so he doesn't remember what he did for who. So he just agrees and is like cool don't mention it then they mention it and he's like uhhhhhh.

However, that's other humans. He can identify the deities much easier because they have a unique glow. Like can actively tell Ymber "oh Lady Fulj just entered the city" and Ymber is like how the heck did you sense her that far away when I can't sense her that far away. It actually takes a while for Ymber to realize Deacon really doesn't know any of his coworkers and who he's talking to.

#my characters #based on me just not knowing which of my coworkers i helped with what or who asked me for what #so theyd bring something up and im like uh huh #deacon is a good bean who likes to be helpful to people around him #because hes lived a good life thanks to people around him such as #he had loving parents but after his mom died the neighbors helped him and his dad #then when his dad passed away and his neighbors would invite him over to make sure he wasnt lonely #and he appreciates those people but he doesnt recognize most of his coworkers #he can identify the neighbors based on oh the guy nearby has a hunched back and i help him with carrying stuff #so he notices those traits from people hes been near for a long time but then is baffled over coworkers #if someone changes a hair style that is a brand new person #based on holy crap my coworkers used to change their hair all the time i never knew who was who #dyed hair or getting a trim and dye or simply wearing it up one day but not the next #i have no idea who i worked with and it was v awkward for me but people were always nice #how has it been a week of pain im gonna go offline and suffer breathing pains

[sendmyresignation]

if you wanna indulge me, id love to hear your opinions on sing (all of mine are detractory which i know isnt the complete view of the song)

omg id love too!! sorry this took me a sec to formulate post-work haha. i know we don't agree about sing but honestly that's the beauty of music opinions- I feel like it becomes easier to define what I like about things when faced with legit measured criticism anyway

for me, i want to start with the structure and instrumental since it's usually not mentioned (most of the criticisms of sing are exclusively lyrical or intention-focused). it's so cool. and evocative. and full of tension!! my favorite use of synth on danger days, plus the keys and the drums (man i love the dd studio musician drums lmao), really emphasizes sing as a suspended moment both in the album (necessary bridge, tonally, between bulletproof and planetary imo) and in the track itself- its alllll building up to that bridge and final chorus. but there's all these little pieces- the backing vocals, there's so many hidden guitar parts that riff just under all the noise, that opening like, tambourine. sorry for not having a quote on hand but Ray's said he really loved writing sing and it's so totally obvious to me. especially live- part of the reason I was soooooo excited for sing swarm tour edition is that even during dd ray was like absolutely shredding for sing after the bridge. and everytime time it's so good. part of the reason the lyrics don't bother me is sing could stand alone instrumentally and I'd still want to listen to it. (sing also reminds me of Ray's solo music- the sentiment is more significant that the lyrics and the music is itself a vehicle for storytelling)

also though, i think there's a lot of intention with sing (it's up to the listener to determine if that paid off obv) but within the context of dd the record as a pirate radio station, sing has always read as a trojan horse song. making it a single too, like once a song takes on a life of its own outside the record there's new meaning and circumstance. so both within and outside the killjoy universe sing is a vehicle for not just the bridge but the overall sentiment of dd (how fucking excited was gerard when glenn beck took the glee bait) like, yes, i do agree they could've benefited from another pass over the lyrics (i will always defend keeping "sing it till your nuts" bc its sounds like sing it to your nuts though) but I don't personally get the criticism that sing isn't "specific enough" about what exactly it's against or is too optimistic about "sing it for the world"-- i think there are songs on the album (notably planetary right after it!) which do that job just fine. dd is gerard in arguably top lyrical form so theres a lot of meat in the rest of the record like. sing it for the world is a purposely simplistic art is the weapon. like those are the same sentiments rendered very differently!

also like. i do think there was a very directed target at the younger part of their fan base here (girl/boy) which is sweet. to me. like i did hear sing first when i was a young teen (one of the few dd songs i was familiar with) and it did feel huge and empowering at that moment. my chem are their best when they are navigating the dualities of their specific fame, which includes simultaneously making very serious, adult rock music which is concerned with violence death grief and sex, as well as being a role model for younger people and taking them seriously and neither of these are in rhetorical conflict with each other. so like whatever sing is a little juvenile. but it's still filled with passion! taken as a legitimate project with a creative instrumental and a narratively-driven music video. I like that aspect, it works for me. I'll never call it my favorite my chem song but its certainly not the worst when you add in the bridge (i wanted to prove my point without the bridge but like. damn!! it's a good bridge!!!). that's my spiel.

#god this is long but thank you for the ask it made me think :) #like at the end of the day a great instrumental with subpar lyrics is going to beat out #a song with incredible lyrics and a bothersome instrumental bc that effects tone and meaning and listenability and impact #so i think sing is v easy for me to appreciate #my posts #angstics #igottheanswer

[fluxweeed]

hey. hope this message doesn't bother you. I love you. I love your work. you are one of my favorite fic authors, I am absolutely obsessed with everything you write. reread everything ten times over, drarry or not, fluffy or angsty - even when it absolutely shatters my heart (e.g. for lack of wanting, SUCH a great fic btw i'm so obsessed with it). the four doors? life changing. two to lie and one to listen? engraved into my brain for eternity. what's mine is yours? what a ride holy shit, im VERY normal about it. wrapped? my comfort read. and so it goes.

if I could aggressively smother you with kudos and love I WOULD!!!

awhile ago you said that there's no such thing as "big deals" in fandom and I 100% agree but at the same time you are a big deal TO ME!!! not in the sense of any kind of hierarchy but purely based on the fact that I think you are such a cool person and your writing is amazing and poignant and your presence in fandom makes it so much better. it's been a pleasure following you here on tumblr and just reading your tags and posts.

idk I just think you rule. that's it. thank you for hanging with us. MWAH 💛

ahhhh anon sorry for leaving this message sitting in my inbox for a couple of days but !! i have zero idea how to react to this!! you're so kind!! thank you!! please discard any and all inclinations u have that i am a cool person bc i can assure you i am NOT!!

#tumblr tag essay time? tumblr tag essay time #why can't i do this in the main body of a post u ask? pure obnoxiousness ig idk #scarier when it's not greyed out and in a little whisper innit #1) anon i love and appreciate you + your kind words so so much but i rly cannot stress enough that literally nobody here is a big deal 😭 #like i know u don't mean it in That Way but even so!!! #this is a hill i could write another 1k words about before i die on it again but i will spare u 😅 #2) ur also v v kind to say the thing abt my presence in fandom #but unfortunately i'm coming to terms with the fact that my presence in fandom is v much on the sidelines #a non-presence #i'm embracing my role as the crotchety old hag who does not attend the functions #i have a hut in the woods and u can find me there (here in tumblr tags) muttering to myself #occasionally i'll wander into the town square (ao3) and present an unnerving thing i made from mud and twigs (a fic) and then i'll fuck off #that's about all i can handle in terms of group settings i think 😅 #but the door to my hut (my DMs) is always open if u want to stop by! #3) i can't even begin to acknowledge all the nice things u said about my fics kjhsdf you are truly too generous 😭 #let me smother YOU with love!!! cmere!!! #4) this is the second nice anon message i've had in the last couple weeks which is !!!! #anon(s) i'm kissing you wherever u consent to be kissed!!! #but ofc now i'm paranoid ppl will think i'm sending these to myself skdljf #can't stress enough how open my DMs are on here/twt/discord if ever u wanna chat in a way that i don't have to post publicly to reply to 😅 #5) i'm soooo sorry about these tags #could have just said “thanks!” couldn't i #please put me right in the bin #anyway sorry again thank you again ilu very much ❤️

[wayfinderships]

The day is gonna end soon so I just wanted to say a final thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday <3 Thank you all so so much! You've all really made today so special!

#pan rambles #Sorry for sounding like a broken record but it's true-agkdngkdfn #Seeing all the messages really brightened up my day and I really appreciate it ;v; #You're all very sweet and I can't thank you enough! #Also sorry for how long it might've taken me to answer some of the asks- #Afksnfkdnfkd I'm quite tired now! Today was busier than I expected it to be! #Doesn't help that I cried like mlre than once-afksnf #Contrary to the fact this is literally a blog about me being affectionate with fictional dudes- #I get very overwhelmed (in a good way) by affection quite quickly-afksnfkdb The right words and I'll be a sobbing mess #When a pal I've known for many years #(hehe I can gush about her here bc she doesn't follow this blog) said “Thank you for being a part of my life” I instantly started to cry #My gushing and thanking aside-I promise I'll be back to the usual stuff tomorrow! #I will be normal self ship blog again I prommy <3 #Hope you all have a great night!!!

[akamikazae]

I didn't notice that you reblogged that kakashi/gojo post and was about to send it to you right now going "Look!! Sasuke is his son!!" lmaooo

Hehe! YES !! That post is v good lol ~ I will always support the Kakashi dad agenda! Thats his son and you can’t tell me different! 😌✨

#ask #sasuke #kakashi #I will always appreciate the sasuke son posts-thanks for thinking of me :) #v kind anon<3

[twig-gy]

Yk, something that has always kinda struck me as weird is the your silence deafens more than any sound line from mind, like if I had a guy I didn't like and argued with all the time I'd be happy to have them shut up for once

MIND SAID THAT? IT MAKES WAY MORE SENSE FOR MIND TO BE SINGING VIOLENCE AND HEART TO BE SINGING SILENCE. I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT?!?!?!?!?!

the only thing i can think of is metaphorical silence on like. ‘why won’t you do what youre told’ or something

#twig.txt #asks.png #thanks for the ask!!! i appreciate asks (although i wonder why youre sending ME this bc i obv don’t care v much about canon) #(even so i love getting any ask at all!!!!!!! please send me asks!!!) #brainrot.png

[nicomrade]

Hey i just came across your tumblr and we'll probably never see each other again but. i fw your vibe (it's awesome) also the france part is also cool id love to live there one day (i live in the netherlands, stinky and boring). also i think your gender description in your carrd is also how i feel about my gender. especially the she her for friends and fellow she slash he s . have an awesome day youre like a distant relative to me

anon we need to do a life swap like in those twins seperated at birth movies cause the fact ure from the netherlands specifically means u have access to my favorite beer in the world (the owlbert) and u say u wanna come hang in france so lets swap for like a month and then well get bored of the novelty (i realize i like owlbert much less when its easily available; you realize france isnt any better than the netherlands) return to our original lives w a new sense of appreciation for the ordinary and with an unbreakable bond linking us. i think in those movies our parents would have to get married so theres also that to look forward to

#thank u for the nice message i really do appreciate it btw ^-^ if u ever wanna talk ure v welcome to DM me #u sound like ure really chill the way u type wed prolly get along if u wanna catch up w a distant relative #anon #ask

[inkykeiji]

ur one of my favourite vox and alastor writers omfg... the alastor fic was so sick i need him Bad hes so evilllll *kicks feet*

oh my gosh thank you so much!!!!! i’m absolutely flattered omg omg thank you thank you thank you!! (*ﾉωﾉ) HAHAHA eeeee i’m rly glad u enjoyed it!! also rly glad you found it sick LMAOO because my intention was to make it like, sexy and emotional but also kinda hard to stomach >:)

anyway alastor is grabbing ur cute lil footies n pressing kissies to the balls of each and then maybe nibbling on a toe,, just a little <3

#HEHE #i’m actually v much not into feet stuff but like i also kick my feet and swing my feet etc #and i think it’s just such a sweet n endearing little motion #so i could totally see him just giving ur cute feet a few lil kissies <3 #anYWAY THANK YOU AGAIN FOR THIS IT WAS SOOOO SWEET!!!!!! #genuinely i appreciate you stopping by to drop me a lovely lil ask so so so much <3 #that’s rly special to me!!! #i hope you have a fabulous day bb and pls stay safe!!! #inky.bb #clari gets mail #inky.alastor

[taegularities]

...

#i feel so insecure here sometimes.. like i know you guys see that too #like ill post smth or ask smth and then feel discouraged when i don't get a response #and then i feel so stupid.. but ive been realising how so many here have been feeling that way #bc tumblr changed so much and so many ppl left and every author and creator is suddenly feeling insecure about themselves #and thinking it's their fault or that their content isn't good anymore #anyways thank you to everyone who's still here and supporting my stuff.. whenever i feel down you guys show me that my work's still #worth consuming #and that im appreciated here as a person too #@ mutuals.. i think to bring back a bit of what tumblr used to be we need to support each other too #bc :( i love my mutuals but i also noticed that only a v small number of ppl signal boosts each other's stuff or supports one another #like only a few of my moots read my stuff or talk to me at all and sometimes it gets so lonely #but im one of those who should actively make an effort to support moots too!! #some blogs support all their moots and im like ugh that's so nice #or maybe it's me and you guys just don't like me LOL no but seriously #we don't even have to read each other's stuff i think.. even boosting fics goes a long way tbh #it'd be so nice if we could do this for each other.. yk? gotta bring back the 2021 community feel fr i miss it #ugh so many ppl left lol we're all we've got y'all!! #tdl maybe

[solarisgod]

It genuinely makes me so beyond happy when people let me entertain myself with the idea that ANHA is a real canon series T___T

#𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ OOC . › #[ I mean what they ARE real ( in my mind ) … ] #[ it’s extremely neat too when people would ask us if the Starwake System is actually an original character or canon ] #[ it just makes me giggle and kick my feet like >;3c !!! #[ ANHA is truly my most pride and joy ] #[ the way this series and the Starwake System and Warlock’s system are the things that make me so happy and grateful be alive still ] #[ ANHA’s second anniversary is coming in January!!!!! SUN AND I ARE SO EXCITEDDDD ] #[ anyways I’m just <3 <3 <3 behind thankful for everyone who’s so appreciative of our series ] #[ means beyond everything to us and especially me ;v; ]

[kindahoping4forever]

Literally I CARE that you post :-) Sooooo many other people do too. And even though I'm sure you know and I'm sure others have said so already I want to make sure to share my experience with you. Because I don't really like social media, and I'm really bad at keeping up with things but when I want to now what is happening with the bad and what is going on with these four dudes that make me absurdly happy I come here. To you. To your content. And it makes my day. And I thank you for that. SO MUCH

Thank you both!! Kind hearts such as yours are the reason why I keep the anon option on my blog! 💙💙

#thanks to you and also to everyone in their tags (or the replies/DMs i responded to privately) who had such nice things to say #i honestly didn't expect the troops to rally like they did and i really appreciate it #that anon got it wrong in that i know I don't HAVE to be here but i WANT to be #and i WANT to be because of people like all of you 💙💙💙💙💙 #endless smooches to you all fr #you've made me feel v special and appreciated and i am a needy Sagittarius so this is a dangerous thing 😂 #💙💙💙💙 #ask #anon

[mutalune]

I just wanted to let you know that you are one of the only writers I’ve seen do a time travel fic in an intensely narratively satisfying way. I know you don’t really plan on updating it anymore (which is so valid!! I’m just so glad I got to read *anything* from you, you’re so talented!!!). There are virtually no plotholes, you chose the perfect character to voice the narrative (he wouldn’t give away too much, so it leaves the reader in suspense), and you write the most beautiful character relationships!! Your attention to detail and understanding of the effects of trauma supplement the narrative so well!!! Both the subtle and large-scale effects were interwoven so well. And the suspense!!!! Oh my gosh!! The double dramatic irony of us the readers knowing things Aizawa doesn’t and Aizawa knowing things the rest of the characters don’t constantly kept me on the edge of my seat. It’s one of the only fics I can reread and find new details in every time. Every single character is written with so much love and care, it’s so beautiful and impressive!!!!! It’s such a kind story, overall :,)

There are so many more things I could say, but I think I’ve left enough comments on the fic itself and would probably go waaaaay over the word limit for a tumblr ask.

I hope you continue to find and work on projects you enjoy doing, even if tmgr isn’t one of them <3 <3 <3

You’re just a truly excellent writer and I wish you nothing but the best!! Reading your works is genuinely a privilege ♥️ ♥️ ♥️

;___; maybe I’ll just cry forever because of this ask tbh this was incredibly sweet and kind and I don’t have any clue what to say in response that will express how reading this made me feel

Time travel fics (tbh time travel fixits in general, there’s a bunch of kcomics that have the same trope and I live for them too) are so near and dear to my heart, and they’re my go-to “things are hard, I need something that makes me feel like mistakes don’t have to be forever,” comfort reads, and it really means so much to me that you enjoyed my take on one so much. And also that you picked up on a lot of my deliberate choices! The double dramatic irony, picking Aizawa (who admittedly is my fave bnha character so I was probs always gonna pick him BUT he also made a great unreliable-but-predictable narrator), and the trauma affecting things subtly and obviously… Sometimes I wonder how much of what I write gets across to readers, because I’m v much a “every choice I made, every word I picked, they all had a reason even if I don’t explicitly say what that reason is,” kinda writer, and it’s both amazing and humbling to have those details picked up on by a reader tbh 💕

Thank you very very very much for sending this message and brightening my day, it was so nice to read and means a lot 💕 I hope to get back into writing something (anything!!! I miss writing) soon-ish now that the holidays are over and 2024 is in full swing, and hopefully I’ll get something out there that’ll be in a fandom you enjoy 💕 thank you again!

#starlight personal #starlight fandom #starlight asks #truly it’s when anyone goes ‘your writing is awesome’ rather than ‘this fic is awesome’ that’s gets me gobsmacked ngl #v much view my writing as a ‘even a broken clock is right twice a day’ type thing even now rather than having faith that I write well #(not that I’m not always grateful and touched by ppl who love a specific fic and not to say those comments aren’t also appreciated!!!! just #that specifically commenting about my writing ability is the fastest way to make my brain blue screen; so thank you!!!!) #it’s been a bit of a rough month so far (dear god we’re not even halfway through jfc) so this was a very very nice pickmeup to read #I really do wanna post something again soon but I don’t want to post another WIP that I’ll never finish lmfao ;__; #finishing things is the WORST I was born to get halfway through and then have the ending teleported from my brain into paper w/o effort #if only lmfaoooo #but anyway!!!! thank you so much I appreciate this a lot and I hope you have a lovely day

[rexscanonwife]

I am not exactly a newcomer, but I still enjoy giving people opportunities to talk about their OCs. So, please take this as a space to talk about Kepler as much as you would like to, if that's alright!! I may not be 1000% familiar with the intricacies of Star Wars, but I'd still be happy to hear ^-^

Hiii omg thank you so much for asking! 😭💖🫶💖 I really appreciate it! And tbh even a basic understanding of star wars is enough to get u thru most of it, what I love about the universe in general is that yes there are lots of rules but at the same time there's no rules at all?? You can do whatever you want as a fan and there's not rly anything ppl can do to stop you 😂

but for people who ARE seeing this for the first time, my star wars s/i is a Jedi Knight and my bff and I worked together to basically make an oc to be her Padawan! his name is Kepler Quinn and he's my perfect beautiful boy that I love ���

a lot of his character development comes from both coming into his own as a person through his training and through his relationships to others. He's been through a lot of rejection in his life already, so he kind of put up walls and has to learn to let people through them! Especially my s/i, who decides to dedicate herself to training him and making him see himself the way she sees him: as amazing! He's got a lot of really impressive skills, he's very in tune with the force when it comes to listening to it for insight, he's just not naturally a good fighter. That doesn't get you very far during a war 😅 but she thinks he's perfect! and she, and the other friends he makes are all part of his story.

(ps. here's some drawings of him made by my bff @star-whores69)

#jane journals #self insert talk #platonic f/o #familial f/o #🪐 kepler quinn 🪐 #dhksdj i took a long time to answer this im sorry x'3 #sometimes its hard to find out what to talk about cause there's so much to SAY and also you gotta figure out what youve already said yanno? #i gotta get back on making that lyric video tbh #i made some good progress on my trip but then i got sick and theres so much i gotta draw alreadyyy #not enough time ; v ; #but oughh i love my boy so much #i appreciate anyone inquiring about him tbh cause i get to show him off!! #i love imagining 'episodes' that he and brea would have that tell u more about the characters and their relationships #like them on scouting or relief missions which are kinda their specialty and how kepler would grow from his experiences #brea specializes in force healing so him learning to do it too is a huge part of his character growth #basically what he lacks is confidence and motivation cause he's the teeniest bit cynical dghsjkgd #anyways thank u again for asking me about it shgjk ily!! 💖💖😭

[ghosts-of-love]

hi idk if this is weird to say but I've noticed that the way you write captain is soooo autism and it's really really good and he's so precious to me. I don't know if you're doing it on purpose or if he's just very in character (because canon cap is very autism) but either way. the way you capture him is perfect and I love him.

hello and thank you for this!! ❤️❤️ this isn't weird to say and in fact i have received a lot of asks/comments/messages about this before so i'll try to keep this brief:

i think it's a mixture of on purpose and in character in that i try to keep the Captain as in character as possible, and in the show I do think he's got the 'tism so that's why it's reflected in my writing. however i used to feel bad about writing him like that when i am not autistic so instead i chose to replicate a lot of my anxious traits that i feel overlap with certain autistic traits - i think you can see this most of all in 'forced proximity'.

there is a real possibility - one that I have been considering more and more, mostly on account of all the people who have messaged me and all the irl people who have asked me - that what i thought was a general overlap between anxiety and autism may not be an overlap but i might just be autistic as well.

in any case I'm gonna keep on writing the Captain the way that i'm writing him because it works for me and seems to work for you all too? he is also very precious to me 😌 wouldn't change him for the world!

#thank you again for this #also if anyone wants to tell me if i'm actually autistic that would be appreciated because im v confused and its driving me round the bend #the other day i had what i might describe as a meltdown for literally no reason other than i was overwhelmed and ended up not speaking #for almost 2 days #does not seem v neurotypical of me #anywho this has diverged now #bbc ghosts #ask #anon