#thank god it wasn't that bad

[1roentgen]

.

#can't find my headphones going insane #need... music....loud... #back from that meditation retreat/course thingy btw #thank god it wasn't that bad #i think i've made peace with going girlmode essentially full time again #as they say. c'est la vie... i will never win but the idgaf war wages on #other than the whole compulsory aspect of it the mandatory white garb was not so bad : P #observing the 8 precepts for only a few days is basically nothing... v ez #a lot of the lecture/sermon content was pretty legit and imo applicable to my daily life although i had issues w/ some topics discussed #i don't fuck with thought crime/'sin' and I'm pretty resolute about this #i have ocd and if i believed every time i had a horrible thought i let myself think it was reflective of #my inner state and/or karma stats or whatever i'd probably actually shoot myself #ok the relevant #buddhist theory is actually pretty complex but i don't want to misrepresent anything and #i cannot explain. i actively interact as little as i can with this kinda thing. even if you make me to take a course lol in my head I'm #wily and u cant get me. this is my turf and i'm like a ferret #i do beleive i have said my personal philosophies are undoubtedly highly influenced by Buddhist thought #but i can't be all gung-ho about this 'ending suffering' forever business #as nice as that sounds #i don't want to be told the meaning of life like I'm not gonna perservere my entire lived existence to fulfill some grand objective pre- #determined by someone else no matter how well-regarded they are by however many people #I'm rather attached to the things that bring me comfort and joy and meaning...as shallow or illusory they may be #i don't like that i'd feel threatened into trying to escape samsara bc its 'uber rare' that i was born into the right species #in the right religion and right place and time to get chance to do that #like in that one poem #i would like to touch the world with bare hands even it burns you know what i mean? #stop trying to save me; stop telling me to let go of the world #i try to stand my ground you know but I'm aware this is really important to my parents right now #i know people get more religious as they grow older #maybe i just am not forced to reckon with mortality in the same way that they are and therefore am not at a stage in my life where i can

[egophiliac]

new chapter 7 installment dropped how we feelin????

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND

THAT'S HIS DAD

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers #BABY DRAGON BABY DRAGON BABY DRAGON #i will take three thank you #god. lilia really has no idea how incredibly loved he is huh. #meleanor: (dies to protect him and her son) #malleus: (is literally born having a huge destructive tantrum because he wants lilia back) #silver: (bases his entire life and personality around how much he loves his dad) #lilia: wow i just can't understand why everyone is so upset about me dying #(somehow sebek ended up being the most normal about him and there's the most unexpected part) #man i really gotta redo lilia's um poster. i wasn't super happy with it to begin with but now there's like. fun shapes and context! #me: ha ha why is his magic called that. that's so weird. #me later: o-oh. oh i see. #SPEAKING OF SEBEK THOUGH there he is! THERE HE IS! #i was so afraid the armor was going to be a bad thing but NO he earned it! #he shook out his hair and turned out to have been beautiful all along! #episode 7 is about two things and two things only: dads and significant hair moments #and also speaking of dads! #i am taking lilia mistaking malleus for revaan based on his voice #as one more tick in the 'if crowley is revaan then there's going to have to be a really good explanation' column #the dulcet tones of dire crowley... #on the other hand if crowley tears off his mask and immediately starts sounding like malleus that would be THE funniest way to do it #auuuggghhhhh it's only been out for hours and already i'm like next part when #we've been cliffhanger'd again lads #idia finally came back to us and they were like 'please wait for the next release :)' #ortho did...did you somehow hack your way into silver's dream palace

[mel-loly]

-I'm back, my dear people! Did you miss me? :]

(I hope so, because it took a while for me to find time to come back- also.. sorry for the bad art😃👍)

#hey everyone!! I'm alive :DD #are you all okay? I hope so! and if not. I hope you be better soon❤️ #(I basically took this time off because because I wasn't well.. I was really and really bad... #with several anxiety attacks and depression problems again.. thank god it got better and now I feel okay ^^ #also- a lot of things changed in my life and I still haven't managed to organize everything.. as well as the drawings... #I have just a “few” drawings to post.. but I hope you still like it and bear with me :'] #I promise to do more and answer you guys when I have time! <33) #a little spoiler: there will be some new things coming to this blog- hope you guys like it :D <33 #i'm back! #i'm mel and this is my blog✌️ #my art blog #art #my art #my art <3 #art mel #my art style #mel designer #mel loly #my oc character #tw vent #? #random vent

[crimeronan]

every time i get an ao3 comment on a horror fic along the lines of “jesus fucking christ. this is so vile what the FUCK what the FUCKING FUCK THIS IS SO FUCKED UP” i hug my laptop to my chest and kick my feet and roll around in bed giggling like a schoolgirl who just got a love letter from her crush. omg you got physically nauseous.....? eeee

#THESE SENTIMENTS KEEP ME GOING #'cause i already know i'm funny and good at capturing Big Feelings #and i love comments about how much various funny or silly or earnest stories mean to people #but ooh god i've been repressing a lot of Horror Shit for a long time. #bc it's ugly and gross and makes people feel bad who wants to read THAT #and have only pretty recently started to shed these feelings n been like. nah i'll be honest actually #like i'll tag everything appropriately and i'll accept that engagement will b a lot lower bc no one wants to read That Shit #but i'll be honest. #so it's like. the strangest form of validation to have people be like #yeah actually this is fucking horrible and DOES feel bad and you DID convey that effectively #i'm like. thank u so much!! i wasn't sure i had the skill or the practice to do that!!!! #if youve left one of these comments (or MULTIPLE comments) on my stuff in the past few days pls know i see you and i love you #i'm WAY behind on comment replies on ao3 because of The Problems but im gonna get to 'em. in the meantime. i love u. #autoimmune tag #<-since the feelings mostly. come from this

[palewolfcheesecake-blog]

What if I just started sobbing

#1:42 is the worst thing to have ever happened to me #like jesus christ i know the brocedes drama was bad but i didn't think it was lewis picking neck pain over nico bad #wtf was going on behind the scenes there guys #like obviously yeah it wasn't okay but like ??????? #thank god lewis goes to therapy now #thank god he goes to therapy in GENERAL considering the mess he's about to face w the tifosi #but seriously bro #neck pain over NICO???? #what was going on there #you can't just say that #without a goddamn EXPLANATION #ok well yes you can #since y'know #blah blah self autonomy blah blah #but also #come ON #what about the DRAMA #also not finished w the vid yet (came here so i wouldn't forget to scream about brocedes) but #if they ask the title question and he doesn't pick chocolate #i #idk #tho then again he was like #weirdly toxic masc coded? #well no not really #but it was like he was TRYING to be #and like it mellowed out for sure #esp after the silver war and princess dress incident #but if you've seen that one interview in 2013ish where he's with nico on i think bbc you'll get what i mean #bro was trying SOOOO hard to appear as a very #uh

[vincentmatthews]

Since Kerry's hair is so white, I love that it suggests that he went through a blonde phase where he bleached his hair, noticed it started greying then went "Fuck it" and decided it was time for his silver fox era.

#Honestly I can't stop thinking of a blonde Kerry. #Now I can't stop thinking of V running into a blonde haired blue eyed Ker #I wonder if he'd be embarrassed seeing stills of that phase? #I just imagine him going “Oh my god. I can't believe I went BLONDE. Thank god Johnny wasn't around. He'd make so many dumb blonde jokes..” #He would also deny it ever happened. #I also love the idea that he decided it was time to stop trying so hard to look so young #I love this old man even though I'm convinced he has bad knees #kerry eurodyne #cyberpunk kerry #cyberpunk 2077

[resssistance]

Uno Shoma / FS 'Dancing On My Own' / Japanese Nationals 2019

#fsphoto #shoma uno #figure skating #jnats 2019 #it's still 17th for me so i'm using it as an excuse (as if i need it) #someone might have posted this one before but idc it's one of (if not the) favorite photos of him and i'm making you look at it again #what a stunning shot isn't it #*in* the performance. one with the music. with the softest look on his face. light reflected from the ice hits his features from beneath #thank god i wasn't few years younger it would be sooo bad lmao #anyway #happy birthday once again <3

[rosysins]

♡ Eri.

Eri's verses page is finally done ~ <3

#ooc. #I CAN FINALLY SLEEP #THANK GOD #oh its #3:30 am in the morning rn #anyways yes #I FINALLY DID IT #i made ... a verse page #it wasn't as bad as i thought!! #ANYWAYS i will be adding more when i have the time #but these are the big three!!! #i will ofc prioritize making for the other bebies first as well #also side note: in every verse Eri is wearing some form of slutty skirt #if he isn't then you're not thinking of Eri you're thinking of some other guy

[ambalambs]

I'd like to give a shout out to my cat who slept on my lap through that entire almost three hour film and not budging an inch

#thanks buddy it made me feel like i wasn't watching the movie completely on my own #but also i had to pee so bad so thanks for that too xD #god i love this little bugger idk what i'd do without him ;^; #lambs personal junk

[uberchain]

See I thought people were memeing when they said he'd make the blue bird hellsite crash and burn and become somehow worse than it already is in its natural hellstate, but no, here we are, waiting to see how this stupid billionaire can continue to fuck shit up for the app I use for both work AND shitposting while I make a 2014-era SFMSona life update SFM comic (as God intended)

Twitter: @uberchain

P.S: I have been updating my SFM resource posts when I remember to actually, including the TF2 Hairs/Wigs resource megapost and the TF2/SFM/GMod Food Items megapost. I have not been actively checking messages or keeping up with Tumblr or dA since around 2021 when I started working as a full-time graphic designer, but I’ll try and at least read any messages people have sent! 

#personal crap #thank you #thank you sincerely #sfm crap #tf2 crap #am i...gonna have to make a valorant crap tag? #god i wasn't ready for this day #i am so sorry if you didn't know i swapped over to really enjoying valorant not the game though i am so bad at valorant

[autumnhobbit]

if you're someone who goes out to eat occasionally, try to make it a habit to remember to pray for the staff, by name if you can for the ones you know and for all the others you don't. a lot of the time service workers are kids, and even when they're not, they're doing a hard and often thankless job, so much that almost nobody thinks of them unless they screw something up. but they deserve to be treated like human beings and respected for their work. (and given a radical overhaul of the system that lessens the pressure on them and demands their protection, but that's another rant shhhh.)

#i felt so bad for the poor girl managing mcdonalds this morning #i just went in to get a tea but there were a bunch of people standing around who apparently had been waiting for like 40 minutes #and they wanted refunds and at least they were civil about it #but you could tell the poor girl was just trying not to cry while dealing with the pile up #and thank God there was an older lady there who defended them and even specifically came early to get a drink so she had te #and comforted her and told her it wasn't her fault and her church group would pray she got good help in soon #in a way ethics alone makes me almost not want to eat out #in addition to trying to be more responsible and eat healthier #so that when i do eat out i can enjoy jt

[amoneki-ramblings]

you’ve been gone for two weeks, did something happen? :(

not meaning to intrude btw

DW YOU'RE ALL GOOD !!

I was actually thinking of making a post about this because I also realized it's been a while; basically school has been kicking my ass Hard lately, so I haven't really had time to indulge in my tg hyperfixation (I even had to put another pause on reading the manga, even now I'm only typing this after finishing an essay draft orz)

Not to mention I've been getting slightly sidetracked with another hyperfixation, though with all the work I've been swamped with I haven't really had much time for content making either way, and I apologize greatly for that !! There are Ideas I've been wanting to get to all this time, I just need to take some time to really crackdown on my schoolwork, but once I get through it I'll be back on my bullshit /threat don't worry LOL

#asks #again really sorry about that !! #i felt kinda bad since my last post was literally someone marvelling about an amoneki fan in 2024 and then i just dipped :skull: #don't worry my tg hyperfixation isn't gone or anything like that btw I am still Insane i am just fighting Two Different Insanities now </3 #i've just been having my hands so full lately :') #(this week especially god i have like 2 projects and 2 tests this week it Sucks) #but don't worry !! i'm doing alright at least #hopefully that wasn't a super wordy explanationfshdjfbhfdlsbh #also sidenote but it's very touching that someone decided to check-in so thank you for that!! #it's really funny actually where i left off on the manga last it seemed like some Big Amoneki Shit was about to go down #so when i come back fully i promise i'll be back Screaming (and i'll probably have a 3 paragraph minimum post to make about it) #i'm just on a break for now !!

[qinghe-s]

i started reading tyk a couple of years ago but got distracted by other books, and only yesterday did i begin to reread it and man. god. wenzhou really are so made for each other, they're so fucking annoying ♥♥

#also gu xiang is there!!! my favourite! best girl! #i finished qi ye yesterday and tyk is a nice change of pace #like qi ye wasn't bad and i'm glad to have more context for he lianyi's whole deal #+ beiyuan is so fucking funny as a character. what a guy. he and wu xi are NOT what i expected based on their shl cameo #but i'm not complaining #regardless!! you can tell priest grew as an author between novels #even though the translation is... leaving a lot to wish for #thank god the characters pull me through sdlkj #tyk: all #wenzhou

[helenawa-art]

Dodged death once again

#got in a bus accident thank god it wasn't too bad and everyone is relatively well

[deacons-wig]

unlocked the "find an assisted living community for an abusive parent" milestone about a decade early.

#im so tired #this woman is exhausting i tell you hwat #also GOD i hate southern new england soOO much #comin back here made me realize just how BAD growing up here was #we never fit in #in a culture that is soooo desperate to fit in #and im realizing it wasn't even about being like....queer #my brother never fit in either and he's straight as a...straight thing #and neither did my freak weirdo parents #we're sprinting a marathon right now #thank god for my steam deck #cyberpunk 2077 take the wheel

[skrunksthatwunk]

just found out rascal (babycat)'s been with his owner this whole time instead of my roommate which is. something. :|

#if you dont know whats happening basically mr and my roommate (dorms) have been raising an abused kitten belonging to our floormates #we had him for a month and a half i think and then a month of break has gone by with my roomie staying on campus and me going back home #to my prey-driven dogs and snake and cat-allergic mother among other things. hence the inability to really take him in easily. #i mean shit. if she decided to actually take care of him instead of making everyone around her into free childcare then that's a good thing #*petcare #and admittedly both me and my roommate should've been more in contact about him whether this was going on or not #we both have really bad object permanence + flow of time issues though so it kinda... didnt happen #i thought about him a lot though. i planned on coming back early to spend a few days just chilling with him before the semester started #but other stuff got in the way and i had the 'its too late so dont ask at all' guilt #idk. it seems like hes alive but i don't know much more than that rn. it makes me nervous yk #but i never thought she'd just. still have him. i never expect what she does with him tbh #i almost feel better about getting stuck and not figuring out visiting or shared custody (in my house that is Not Ideal For Him) knowing it #wasn't even really attainable but. shit. #i want her to treat him like he deserves and if she's doing that i have no right to complain. he's not my cat. he's not. #but it means she'll probably just leave with him someday. no thanks or payment or future contact. idk i just. thought this would end sooner #in taking him to a shelter or a new home or us taking him in or her putting her foot down. but instead it's like im drowning in gelatin #what am i even doing. i love him. so much. and i want a cat so so bad. i want *him* so bad. #but i didn't rescue him and i didnt even try and. god idk. i love him and i still couldn't get my ass up to visit in a whole month #i want to say it's because i was stuck and it's not untrue. but i just. idk. i still feel like i shoulda pushed through or whatever anyway. #it makes me feel like im just as bad as his owner when i know im not. im not. #he's probably a lot bigger now. assuming she's actually feeding him. god. i really thought he'd be with my roommate #for reasons im not even gonna bother getting into. and i was reassured that my roomie would tell me if something was up with him. and she #didnt. and im not mad at her it's not her fault i didn't reach out when i wanted to know. but i feel just. ough. stupid ass situation i got #myself into. stupid sad ass consequences of being nosy and big hearted and wanting to help in stupid ways #at least her dogs didnt eat him. i was worried about that. i don't think i could take it if she got him killed and i didn't push harder to #help him. but i can't just fucking. kidnap him. he's not mine and we're neighbors and i can't even keep him at my home. not really. #god i miss him so much. i hope i didn't hurt him by leaving. fucking hell. #but he needs somebody and his owner is almost certainly not it. and maybe im not either but i want to try for him. man.