#tenured

[topshelf2112-blog]

Watching “Playing God.”

It reminds me so much of grad school.

I was told - so many times - that I wasn’t the best candidate (and we’re not talking to be a surgeon, here) because:

1. I was too timid

2. My economic background wasn’t right

3. Gender

4. My research wasn’t valuable

5. I didn’t work up to my potential

Unexpected memories lol!

#made it though #star trek ds9 #tenured #still poor lol #economic background maybe true #personal nonsense

[txttletale]

the thing about doctor who is that its only good when the writers remember that the doctor is Literally Just Some Guy. doctor who should be a show about a weird annoying burnout who travels through space and hangs out with humans because his own species don’t want him. whenever the show buys into the idea of the doctor being a Very Important Universally Beloved Hero Prophesized To Save The World instead of a cosmic dipshit driving a busted old car he stole on graduation day doing the alien equivalent of backpacking across europe the show starts hardcore sucking

#doctor who #one of the main reasons i dont like moffat or chibnalls tenure #at least rtd saved that bullshit for the season finales

[dkla0vd2j]

Lovable twink loves getting his ass streched with big dick Straight male masturbation gay When Logan kind of bellowed about the Flashing pussy and ass in city Lesbian life of mother and daughter Anime Big Boobs Hot Moms Fucked Hard Porn Game BTS fun with Disi shot by @eyeshootx Backshots BBW Moaning Tribbing Double Dildo Ripped ass rimming sailor Joven madura latina Homemade creamy ebony pussy Sexy bhabhi public dance

#danio #dilatingly #overslidden #SHRPG #tenured #yachtswoman #Pseudoceratites #tear-jerking #Mohr #oversimplified #Reef #rendezvouses #Cornulites #upbray #hypogastrocele #ankaratrite #interned #crocking #curnies #competition

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

joking aside, I love this site. I have learned so much from this site. I have received so much love and support from this site, and I hope to be here for years to come (especially now that we accidentally won Least Worst Social Media Platform, despite our very best efforts)

that being said, taking a break was really helpful for me mentally. it made me realize how much pressure I was putting on myself to keep people entertained so they would like me. I'm talking like, 'rereading & editing a single dumb shitpost a dozen times a day' levels of overthinking.

So yeah: I love it here, I plan to keep making people (and myself) laugh, but going forward I'm going to be putting less pressure on myself to be as entertaining/active as i used to aim for. Less "I choked on my gogurt" levels of humor, more "sensible chuckle." (sometimes I may even indulge in a joke that purposefully fails to resonate with the audience! it will be quite a mischievous little treat for me 🤭.)

anyways please be patient if my posts lack a certain pizzazz going forward. the pizzazz is out of stock. no there is none in the back room. the pizzazz is on back order ok. no I'm not paying for expedited shipping. our supplier is experiencing a shortage. pizzazz is a controlled substance, do you have no understanding of the paperwork involved? piss off with your piddling pizzazz

TLDR if you think my posts were mediocre before just u wait sweetheart you ain't seen nothing yet. (they are going to get worse. what I'm saying is they are going to get even more underwhelming. i feel good about this.)

#serious post #ish #do i have tenure? is tumblr tenure a thing? #either way from here on out i am PHONING IT IN MY BABIES! #you get a reblogged post from 2021! you get a rebloggrd post! you get a reblogged post! #and you! get a piece of horrific fanart! that's been containly secured in the ask box since 2020 #and YES it contains the Grinch x Tony the Tiger in delicisio fragrantance #ps I lied there IS a small supply of Pizzazz left on the top shelf but i am hoarding it for my own personal use

[beefcliff]

a little comic about growing pains

transcript under the cut

send me an ask.

pup stares at the ceiling, laying next to a friend whom they have just slept with. their friend lays contentedly, satisfied with the encounter. pup sits up, and the friend takes notice --"what's got you up, pup? it's 2 late." (it is in fact 2 late) "yeah, i know. i'm just thinkin' again." --"'bout what?" view of hallway, showing a long line of nearly identical doors. we do not know which door our characters are in. "how can you tell the difference between romantic and platonic love?" --"i don't think that's a question with just one answer." the friend is hesitant to give advice. the friend is older and more experienced than pup, and knows that their experiences have led them down a very specific path, one that may not be good for pup. "i want to know what your answer is, silly." pup puts their jacket on, eager to follow this line of conversation. the friend sits up in bed, reluctant, but slowly following pup outside and following the thread of conversation. abstract view of the staircase at the end of the hallway, pointed down towards the exit in which they're headed. --"i can do that. i used to think romantic love is platonic love + lust … but now i sleep with my friends so now there's no difference at all." exterior shot, now. they're sitting on the curb. they each have an unlit cigarette in their mouth. pup has the lighter. "is there room for romance in your life?" pup hands the lighter to the friend. the friend lights their own cigarette using pup's lighter and pup hopes for a brief moment that the friend will light their cigarette, too. --"again, it's just indistinct from sleeping with a good friend to me." the friend passes back the lighter. pup does not light their own cigarette. "gotcha" pup presses their cigarette into the ground as if to put it out before it ever saw a flame.

#beefcliff #a little comic #comic #webcomic #cigarettes #tw cigarettes #tw smoking #smoking tw #this one's kinda about sex #glitchcore #mspaint #ms paint #this feels like a synthesis of all my tenure as beefcliff #all the different methods n shit i employed this last 2 years #wild #anyways #writing #transcript #described

[remuspenus]

Remus is good at his job. I think if there's one thing you need to know about Remus, it's that he's probably the best at his role, much more than anyone else. Janus isn't that good at lying. Patton doesn't always know the most morally correct choice. Logan makes mistakes. Roman has creative blocks. Virgil can be more easily soothed than he used to be.

but Remus? dudes a powerhouse. He's fucking good at his job. He knows exactly what makes Thomas's mind race, and when to put his plans into action. He knows how to get underneath the other sides skin, too.

And he loves it. he loves it so much. Being Dark Creativity is his job and he clocks into his 9-5 Thomas-torture sessions with a smile everyday

#sanders sides #remus sanders #blah blah blah #honestly virgils also pretty fucking good at his job. like hes a lot calmer now but thats because he has tenure you know #if he wanted to scare the shit out of thomas he definitely still could. he just doesnt feel like putting in the work anymore lmao #Virgil is a worker with seniority that doesnt give a fuck anymore lol

[clockways]

I love tumblr, seriously. The vibes of this site are unlike anywhere else.

We get polls and *immediately* make games out of them. We take something so simple and our first response is “how can we use this for fun and chaos”. And it’s not just a flippant thing. We get invested.

We’re ride or die for bug races.

We have a whole new vanilla extract meme that no other social media would understand.

We’re now combining it with our unique tagging system.

Like, my darlings, do you understand how special this is? If I was tenure track I could write a whole paper about this both on gamification and community play but also on social media structures. It would be a banger. And it would be so hard to make it accessible to a wider audience. The *history* you would need to try and cover. But my would it be a great paper topic.

#idk #maybe over summer I actually will #but I'm so rusty at paper writing #as a non tenure prof

[demonzoro]

none of this is proofread but here's my ideal modern au for the goth fam. wall of text incoming, sky is blue, etc.

mihawk: World's Most Reluctant College Professor. history/archaeology. reluctantly employed because his place of residence (half-wrecked castle) is owned by the university and one of the terms for him to live there for free is to teach classes. initially hired as a publicity stunt that petered out. actual respected swordsman in the modern age but the reality is "swordsman" is... not very lucrative. really important to me that he is forcibly employed while having gigantic unemployed energy.

his ass is not showing up to a lecture hall unless under extreme duress (shanks showing up to his place unannounced again🙄). fully aware his papers are only taken as a credit filler (robin lectures the papers that are more practically applicable). almost exclusively "teaches" by emailing out reading lists and assignments. actively trying to get his students to drop his paper so he can do fuck-all for the rest of the year.

zoro: phys ed major. he's so serious about his main courses as well as mihawk's stupidly niche paper. probably the first person the "Dracule Mihawk Teaches Here!" publicity stunt has worked on in years. has trouble with the heavy focus of book-smarts this paper requires but powers through it best he can until mihawk sets some indecipherable tome as part of a reading list and zoro is like. okay. you leave me no choice.

he fully shows up on mihawk's doorstep at 9:44PM on a tuesday night brandishing this tome. mihawk answers the door because he is two bottles into his wine.

zoro, furious that this piece of shit tome has no audiobook alternative: this. YOU. explain. NOW. mihawk: a student. at my doorstep. did shanks blab to you. zoro: your address is publicly listed as a minor tourist attraction. mihawk (<- didn't know that): hm. come in.

zoro is treated to a full drunk history session and the supermarket gift wine mihawk has been avoiding but accidentally opened. he wakes up the next morning and zoro is still there in one of the guest rooms. he's like what are you doing here and zoro is like. i don't have a whole day to waste getting back to my dorm i need to do your assignment.

mihawk, fully aware the dorms should only be a max twenty minute walk away: interesting. get out.

safe to say, zoro thinks visiting mihawk's home is easier than emailing him. which is true in some ways since mihawk takes small joys in putting unread emails straight into trash.

perona: fashion major OBVIOUSLY. really interested finding vintage/archival sewing patterns/designs and modernising them. LOVES using essays as outlets for her rants. blase on everything else in life but takes her course so seriously. HATES zoro ever since he almost made her fail an assignment because he had checked out a book she needed and held it for fucking aaages.

similarly zoro hates perona bc she almost made him fail an assignment by hogging the only lightbox on this side of the campus that makes it possible to read some of the archival material mihawk puts on his impossible reading lists.

zoro gets lost in mihawk's castle and meets perona in-person for the first time outside of a name on a booking sheet and they have a huge stupid argument. zoro storms off and accidentally finds mihawk again this way and he's doubly mad because he can't believe mihawk has been chasing him away all this time while letting another student just live in the east wing.

mihawk (<- didn't know that): there's a what.

turns out perona just said "umm dorm fees? rent? in this economy? there's a wrecked castle 20mins away from campus it's free real estate". and she's right. she also finds out mihawk has staff access to archival materials not readily open to students and she immediately whips out a wishlist.

anyways i imagine perona graduates and becomes a fashion designer. zoro decides booksmarts is not for him and drops out to focus fully on a professional athlete career or make his way as a stuntman. models for perona on occasion. mihawk fully quits his job after those two leave bc they were the only ones in years that made it interesting. retires but robin recommends him as a consultant to the museum society and he does some work there. ALWAYS calls zoro or perona if he's restoring smthng cool he thinks they would love.

jfc are you still here. i kiss you on the lips

#mihawk wld slay as a retired-not-retired professor #and by slay i mean you are killing the students good gd. #but like tbh what else wld you transfer the warlord of the sea vibe to ..... his apathy/antagonism to the world govt #what better parallel than forced tenure and HORRIBLE university admin.... college bureaucracy .... [shudders] #btw i know nothing abt history papers or how unis work #this is all made up for maximum antics. #✨ #goth fam

[larsnicklas]

#doitforhim (our beloved wife and boyfriend)

#brock boeser #vancouver canucks #canucks #nhl #nhledit #hockey #hockeyedit #meg.nucks #meg.gif #meg.all #scp24 #i am LITERALLY deep in despair.... #he would never say this but I WILL — #it's not that i don't believe in them it's that i DON'T EVEN WANT THEM TO MOVE FORWARD if he can't be part of it </3 #NOT him man. NOT the first spark of hope; the first light at the end of the tunnel. #NOT the longest tenured canuck who's been so instrumental all season and into the playoffs......... #life is pain princess!!!! #anyway. happy gameday :(

[yuri-alexseygaybitch]

Readings for this class are inventing levels of dicksucking I didn't think were possible

#legitimately don't understand how people this naive have survived to adulthood let alone gotten tenure

[ghost-nick]

@alto-tenure did a really nice edit of Lynne with short hair and a more masculine style, and it was INSPIRING!

Of course I had to draw :-)

#ghost trick #ghost trick lynne #ghost trick phantom detective #lynne #alto-tenure #the og edit is really great!! #my art

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

i have this really stupid idea in my head that im frankly a little obsessed with and the idea is this: trent crimm doing a drunk history episode on ted lasso's first tenure at richmond. is that how drunk history works? i don't think so. do i care? absolutely not. it's a special episode who cares because this image is not only hysterical to me but treasured. i treasure this image. i hold it close in my heart and also laugh and laugh and laugh.

#ted is played by what is very visibly a butch lesbian in a huge fake mustache. #roy is inexplicably played by himself in a wig. #ternt drunkenly and passionately explaining this whole thing. he says his own line and the trent actor (who also has a wig) gets to act it #trent waving his hands as he's explaining all this. the host being like 'not very often we get to have someone include the part where They #come into the story' and trents like [dorkiest finger guns] #also yes i said first tenure bc this scenario lives in post canon fantasy fix it land where ambiguously ted comes back to richmond #at some point. and also both bc my tedependent heart is obsessed and bc it's really funny #marries trent. just bc i want this to end with trent--hammered and pleased as punch--being like AND THEN I MARRIED HIM!!!!! #[falls back on couch happily] :) #also in the line of that great 5+1 social media fic #by jessjessthebest. a sequel thats just like a youtube video like #'we made ted lasso and trent crimm watch that episode of drunk history about them' and trent is just. head in hands the whole time. #ted is DELIGHTED. #anyway i rotate this in my brain fucking DAILY. it's so goddamn funny to me. #ted lasso #tedependent #tedtrent #trent crimm #the line in question being 'is this a fucking joke' i just realized i did not clarify that #no but really im obsessed with this it's so fucking funny #also any image trent had left of being a ruthless ex journalist is thoroughly ruined #all of his former colleagues have seen him and drunk and giggling and fully admitting what he was thinking at the time and oh boy #hes a disaster <3

[sacchiri]

oh no, anyway

#hellsing #alucard #arthur hellsing #my art #i drew this for the demon core meme but now that i think about it arthur definitely did some radiation experiments during his tenure #mans probably died of leukemia💀 #that chair in the basement alucard always sits in? slightly radioactive. #i'm not sure how radiation would affect alucard tbh. i guess the dead cells would just slough off him? anyway fun

[sergeifyodorov]

okay imagine you're morgan rielly. you are a six-foot two hundred pound terrible-at-defence defenceman, and you're engaged to --

let me start again.

imagine you're morgan rielly, and although you grew up in vancouver, you've been a leafs fan all your life. you bullied the whl into becoming your draft year's best prospect, no matter what they say about that yakupov guy and the other three boys ahead of you. no, you're this year's best prospect because you had the good luck to get picked by the leafs.

imagine you're morgan rielly, and you've been a leaf for ten years, and although you try and try again there is this wall ahead of you that only you seem to notice, and that the rest of your team smacks flat against. you're morgan rielly and you have found a way up the wall but the rest of them are so scared by running into invisible things they won't even try to hear you. you're morgan rielly and you're the first one in nine playoff series to score a goal on vasilevskiy when it matters but it's not enough and it will never be enough because you're morgan rielly and you've been a leafs fan all your life and you will always be a leaf.

imagine you're morgan rielly, and you're trapped in the time loop, and your teammate tosses the puck over the glass again and you force a game seven again and you score again. and you come back after the summer again.

imagine you're morgan rielly and you've seen a thousand leaf teams come and go but you're always there watching the forwards change in front of you and your pair beside and your goalie behind you and you lose in different ways but you always lose. will you ever not lose? will you ever step out of the cycle? will you? will you? will you?

#morgan rielly #mr longest tenured leaf mr tessa virtue. lets take this first round exit together #narrativeposting

[historicity-was-already-taken]

Had a dream where all the other Holocaust historians were judging me for only having my MA.

Like bro I’d love the PhD but how can you justify sacrificing ~8 years of time and potential income to train for a job that there’s like, a 2% chance of actually getting and if you do it’ll be in a state that is down to force women to give birth against their will? I have my head in the clouds 80% of the time but even I can’t justify that.

And it makes me sad as hell, honestly.

#academia #imposter syndrome #a tenure track job in the humanities #or as I call it #one of those birds scientists think is extinct but then it shows up in West Papua

[thekinkymadscientist]

Ugh, filling out mad ethics committee submissions is the worst. I just want to do some research on whether a VR headset or a screen and surround-sound system is more effective at brainwashing helpless captives, but they're all "How will this research contribute to taking over the world?" and "Are your test subjects being acquired in an appropriately dastardly manner?" Just let me do my research!

#hypnosis #brainwashing #at least I have mad tenure