#taskmaster is a given

[ultrabooob]

wishing i was a good writer bc then i’d just write stuff about joker out on various uk daytime tv and britcom shows

#imagine joker out come dine with me #idk if it would be funnier if they’d do it all together #or if it was 1 member for a different region and it would be like jan cooking for 4 strangers #taskmaster is a given #put them on gogglebox ….. bojan w rylan #i need them all to have their own episode of wilty #i feel like bob mortimer and jure would have good banter #mastermind too pls #again asking for bojan on qi #joker out jeremy kyle episode and it’s about nace cheating on jan w kris #fuck it make them guest ghosts in ghosts #ghost bojan vs thomas thorne #jan vs kris on cats do countdown #joker out #britcom #i’m having too much fun #i’m quarantining and therefore forced to be online

[spaceytrash]

Alex and Greg using they/them pronouns for Mae without problem, like the non issue it really always should be. As if I couldn't love Takmaster even more. This show is genuinely the best thing that has ever happened to television in my opinion

#taskmaster #taskmaster series 15 #alex horne #greg davies #mae martin #like it's funny how such a small act of something that should be normal tbh and a whole non issue still fills me with joy #especially with the currwnt climate about anything trans related and all #I just love it #and yes it's sad that the bare minimum of human decency is not always a given and that you have genuine happy moment when they are

[moss-sprouted]

the show taskmaster really is a great example of how people with the same tools can come up with the same exact idea independently without it meaning they stole the idea from another person

a lot of artists really need to learn that lesson

#ive been watching too many videos about how fibre artists accuse eachother of stealing patterns when given the same tools you can often #easily come up with the same idea #and with people insisting a cord progression in music can be ripped off as well #taskmaster #artists includes crafters and musicians and whatever else can be considered art btw

[origami-trust]

Sue Perkins's incredible animal die, featuring: -Sea Cucumber (not rolled ; ;) -Giant Squid -Panther -Mammoth -Blue Whale -Elephant

#taskmaster #taskmaster spoilers #she's wonderful #everybody on that bench is wonderful tbh #in a group of 5 given the task 'name 6 animals' how interesting that 'mammoth' was volunteered twice

[taskhusbands]

✨ new tags ✨

Good boy

I ♡ Greg

#psa #taskmaster spoilers #loving the new series and all the great moment's it's already given us

[fastasyoucan1999]

john kearns is the only taskmaster contestant to accurately respond to tasks with fear, confusion, and malaise

#his genuine horrified ‘what’s happening?’ at seeing a rubber snake on the pavement is a touchstone to me #taskmaster #he also looks as though he’s abt to be hit at any given moment

[superbeans89]

Same energy

#shitpost #taskmaster s15 spoilers #ever given #ivo graham #same energy

[notalexhorne]

God it's so strange having a show I like that actually has regular and consistent output, after so many fandoms with years between seasons/series.

Venture Bros: get rekt

Sherlock: Fuck the fans

Marvel: lol wtf is an output schedule? Fans are replaceable anyway

Meanwhile Taskmaster over here giving us two series per year, plus a yearly special, plus another special every five series (ish, scheduling depending). It's nice to be fed and happy for a change.

#taskmaster #admittedly with the venture bros the scheduling was largely the fault of adult swim from what i've gathered #and tbh the art getting better and better with every season always made the wait well worth it #cannot wait to watch the movie on thursday #and with marvel they have a problem with oversaturating the market with so many of their millions of properties #that the one specific title you're following gets sidelined and doesn't have another issue come out for six months for no fucking reason #idek what's going on with the D+ series anymore because I dropped that shit ages ago #i'll just pirate it if anything I'm even remotely interested comes out ever again #which after loki seems unlikely tbh #because the thor franchise has been thoroughly fucked by the studio anyway and i've given up on it ever being good again but whatever #and sherlock #fuck sherlock in its entirety #it knows what it did

[adreamthatsworthkeeping]

Perfect winner!!

#mae would have given them a run for their money #but alas #taskmaster #second place did that instead

[prawns-are-cannibals]

#They have finally given me polls #Taskmaster #Greg Davies #Alex Horne

[callixton]

i think one of the reasons i can enjoy alex and greg’s dynamic so comfortably/much is bc people teasing them abt it doesn’t feel homophobic

this sentence sound insane unless u were in my brain when hyperfixated on noughties era double acts but also the comedy scene did just used to be homophobic to anyone with close to a similar dynamic

#i do think greg is probably* bi but theirs is purely show dynamic and it’s just Fun #when it gets a little too real. ahem. it’s not as fun. it just kinda hurts #is that sentence coherent. i’m not pausing the podcast to figure it out #this is worded so badly i’ll fix it later but the point is i actually feel so normal abt them (real!) and it’s such a nice change #the homophobia was so insidious too bc it was so underhanded and indirect #and IMPORTANTLY really had nothing to do with the actual sexuality of the people involved. it was an excuse to make jokes they couldn’t get #- away with otherwise #it was also. specifically fucked w noel being openly gnc #and my feelings on rob are complicated but like. given his whole deal as well #Anyway. i think it’s more a sign of how the scene as changed than anything personal which is really nice to see #ted talks #taskmaster

[friendraichu]

I <3 that you are sharing your interests but I want you to know that the ONLY other time I've ever heard of taskmaster was when I read a really good fic and went to the authors profile to see if they wrote more like it and was instead hit with taskmaster and Mythbusters rpf. and everytime you rb taskmaster stuff it brings the memories back. and I think it's funny.

this may be the funniest ask ive ever received. thank you for sharing.

#also the existence of taskmaster rpf does not surprise me in the slightest given the dynamic between alex and greg #but i gotta admit the concept of mythbusters rpf has thrown me for a slight loop #who am i kidding this is the internet that should absolutely not be surprising #anon #ask

[a-a-a-anon]

i personally think it's weird noel fielding was friends with russell "sexual assault" br*nd for years and dated a 16 year old when he was 33 but okay

#inspired by a post abt him being so sweet on gbbo. posted in this month. bffr.. #no im sorry why do people still love this man 😭💀 #and support his work #even if he didnt sexually assault anyone himself (there are rumors) and even if 16 is legal it still makes me side eye him #bc also given the many many accusations against russel brand... how is it possible that noel knew nothing when they would openly joke abt #being rapists on tv #i think noel was at least enabling/turning a blind eye to br*nd's crimes which is disgusting #im not accusing him of assault but i am saying im absolutely side eyeing him in everything now #also the racism on bakeoff but ig that ones whatever too (im a poc and am being sarcastic) #nina.rambles #britcom #i loved him on panel shows and taskmaster and bake off tbh. so its pretty disappointing (but not surprising)

[mihotose]

anyway Ive been enjoying myself working through the treasure hunt book feeling equal parts very clever And dumb as shit

#the way alex's brain is huge #gemitus #ahh spending like 40 minutes working out that morse code today.... annoying but fun #like victoria saying it would have been less fun if alan had given her the other half of the key like exactly!! #i like when theres an obvious method to an answer and the other half of the clues in this are completely oblique to me #taskmaster

[mayadarlings]

You, Me, and a Screen.

—★! NSFW, MDNI, AFAB! Ghost likes to show off what he's got.

Alright, We've all heard about y/n having only fans and Ghost going absolutely nuts for her but what if the roles were reversed?

—★!

You're a dedicated worker, or perhaps more accurately, a merciless taskmaster, given the number of hours you put in at your job every week. Time off was a luxury you weren't granted, so your apartment became your only sanctuary for any sense of peace. As soon as your feet crossed the threshold, all the tension in your body melted away. The comforting scent of home enveloped you, welcoming you after a long day.

Your uniform is swiftly tossed aside, forgotten in mere moments - soon you're in more comfortable clothes, a pair of shorts, and a simple t-shirt. Lunch went bust earlier when one of your coworkers needed someone to cover their shift, leaving you hungry. So now you're lounging in bed with your laptop, snacking on your favorite bag of chips while aimlessly browsing various websites, searching for something to watch or any form of entertainment really.

An accidental click causes a popup ad to disrupt your screen, flashing and intruding on your space. The damn ad blocker hardly ever works. You close it, thinking it was just a minor disturbance, only to have another one immediately take its place. With an annoyed click of your tongue, you go to close the tab once more, but something on the page catches your eye and stops you.

You pause, eyes narrowing - you stare intently at the dark laptop screen. Suddenly, you see it again - movement. It's a live stream. A chat window pops out and now a man's figure steps out from the darkness in the background. The camera only shows him from the neck down, but it's clear that he is a man based on the grunt he makes as he sits down. His face remains hidden, but you can see tattoos peeking out from under his long-sleeved black turtleneck.

He remains silent, shifting in his seat to get comfortable. The chat room erupts with excitement at the mere sight of him, begging and pleading for him to perform for their eager eyes. His cargo pants reveal a visible tent, adding to the anticipation of the audience who came for this very show.

"What a needy bunch." His words resonated with a deep rumble, colored by a distinct British accent.

A chill runs down your spine as his voice fills the room, captivating you completely. He lets out a deep chuckle as his large hand rests on it, hidden beneath the fabric. You lean in closer, fixated on the bulge that visibly twitches under his touch.

Ding

A donation of 100 pounds comes through with an attached message: "Stop teasing, GD!"

GD? You're puzzled by the username "GD" and scroll down, hoping to find some information about them. You expect to see a bio, but instead, there's nothing - no age, name, or any other details. The only thing present is their username: "Going Dark".

"Donating won't make me go faster, sweetheart," GD responds with a sly tone, causing the audience in the chat to protest. Yet, donations continue to pour in, raining down on the enigmatic man with seemingly never-ending wealth.

He pauses, leaning back in his chair as he slides his hand down his cargo pants and into his trousers. A pleasurable groan escapes his lips as he starts to palm himself. The audience is captivated, waiting for the moment when he will finally reveal himself. He takes his time, slowly pulling out his length from within his pants.

The head of his penis is an angry red, oozing with precum. He may not be long, but he makes up for it in width and girth. He could easily fill you up and leave you feeling him inside you for days.

Your mouth goes dry and your eyes stay glued to the sight before you - him. You've seen penises before, but never one like this. It's almost… intimidating. How can someone have such a thing just attached to their body? Your gaze follows his every movement, from the delicate way he rubs the tip to the contented hums he makes when someone donates. This man is like a jack-in-the-box, waiting to pop out once he's ready.

He keeps moving his hips, pumping into his hand with varying rhythms as he gasps for air. One moment he's going at a slow and steady pace, not holding back on his moans of pleasure. And then he switches to a relentless speed, chasing a pleasure that only he knows, his arousal leaving slick traces on his hand with each movement, the sound of wetness accompanying this pace.

GD gets closer, you can see his hips falter and shudder before rising to meet his hand. He pushes himself to the edge, then slows down and falls back into a rhythm, ready to start over again. Your panties are drenched at this point from watching him pleasure himself. The way he moves is incredibly erotic, even though all he's doing is stroking himself.

Ding

250 Donation: "GD, give us a money shot?"

There is no verbal response, but the way he grips his cock tightly tells you he read the message. GD quickens his pace, tighter and harder, as if trying to chase away any thoughts or distractions. His breaths are ragged and heavy, his movements becoming sloppy and uncoordinated as his hips demand more. He leans back in the chair, moaning in pleasure as his cock explodes, releasing thick ropes of cum that cover his chest beneath his clothes.

He remains still, not making a sound or uttering a single word. His chest rises and falls with each breath, the only indication of his exhaustion. Just when you think the performance is over and he has used up all of his energy, he suddenly sits up, his face still concealed. He leans over and grabs something from the desk nearby. To your surprise, it's a bottle of lubricant and a pocket pussy.

The anticipation built, and soon he was ready for another round. His member stood tall once again, eager to continue the pleasure. The previous climax faded into insignificance, as he was already eager for more. "I know you all want this, wishing it was your cunt," GD taunted with a smirk, his husky voice echoing in your ears. "What a bunch of naughty girls.."

GD coated his hands with lubricant, adding even more moisture to his already slick cock, making it shine in the dim light. He took his time, moving his hands up and down his shaft in a slow, deliberate rhythm. He gave attention to his balls, squeezing and massaging them gently as they were heavy with cum.

With a joyful hum, he set the lube aside and grasped the pocket pussy firmly with both hands. He teased the opening with his tip, gliding up and down its artificial folds, trying hard to suppress a moan. GD's self-control was reaching its limit; he couldn't resist any longer. He was on the verge of entering, penetrating this sinful paradise, tip just about to push through.

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#simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #simon ghost x reader #simon ghost smut #simon riley #simon ghost x you #simon riley x you #cod x reader #call of duty #simon ghost riley x you #ghost x you #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley smut #call of duty smut

[fahye]

book recs: august '23

(I want to try and do these posts more frequently because I DEARLY miss yelling about books, txitter is [poop emoji]-ing, and bluesky is promising but I don't have much of an audience there yet)

ok! stuff freya has read recently and enjoyed:

A FIRE BORN OF EXILE by aliette de bodard -- did you enjoy nirvana in fire? this is for YOU. it's a revenge story set in aliette's xuya space opera universe, with a pile of complicated characters with mixed or obscured motives, a sapphic romance, and just really incredible use of worldbuilding and politics.

THE SLEEPING SOLDIER by aster glenn gray -- I am an enormous sucker for aster's historical m/m romances, and this one was incredible. a union soldier goes to sleep in 1865 and wakes up in 1965, and his new college roommate has a series of gay crises about it. sweet, exuberant, well researched. both a wonderful romance and an absolutely fascinating examination of male friendships and homosexuality in two different historical time periods.

A DEADLY EDUCATION by naomi novik -- doing a reread of the first two scholomance books before I dive into the third. these books are so disgustingly tailored to ME, a huge fan of magical academia stories with a truly deliciously unnecessary level of worldbuilding detail about how the magic works (and how the school is trying to kill you).

BATH HAUS by p.j. vernon -- a man goes to a gay bathhouse, cheating on his partner, and narrowly escapes being murdered. things get worse from there. I can only recommend this to you if you enjoy thrillers that STRESS YOU THE FUCK OUT, which I normally don't; I nearly put it down a couple of times, but I HAD to know what was going on. it's a masterclass in propulsive tension and does some really cool things with unreliable narration.

HAVEMERCY by jaida jones and danielle bennett -- seven hundred years late to this party, but OH MY GOD. this is the completely gay political/military fantasy of my dreams (the YEARNING), plus there are magical-mechanical dragons. I will be devouring the other books in this series in short order.

EVERY VERSION OF YOU by grace chan -- a beautiful and fascinating literary scifi book about humanity and family and love, and being given the choice to upload your consciousness to a digital paradise as the planet dies around you. unsurprisingly it deals with some heavy stuff, but it's fantastic. and australian!

A THIEF AND A GENTLEMAN by arden powell -- another m/m romance in arden's flos magicae series. the title alone is probably enough to tell you why I enjoyed it, but I especially liked the way it kept subverting my expectations in favour of more chewy emotional honesty and complexity.

STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER by fern brady -- a memoir by a scottish comedian about being diagnosed with autism in her thirties, and her life up to that point. funny and chaotic and an all-around amazing read. I loved fern on taskmaster and I love her even more now.

#book recs