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blueskrugs · 4 years

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All’s Fair in Love and (Nerf) Wars | Matthew Tkachuk

this can be blamed entirely on my overly competitive ass and @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69 who asked for this, but also the picture that inspired this whole thing to begin with.

let’s have some fun with the whole Tkachuk clan, yeah?

length: 1.5k words

It was raining. Scratch that. It was pouring, your typical Midwestern summer thunderstorm that turned the skies grey-green, with the occasional thunderclap so loud the windows rattled. You were perfectly content to curl up near a window with a book or a movie for the day, but Matthew didn’t take well to being stuck inside the house.

“I’m bored,” he groaned, flopping onto the couch dramatically.

You snorted, not looking at him. He poked you in the calf. You half-heartedly kicked out your foot at him, but he just grabbed your ankle and held on to it.

“Babe,” he whined, drawing out the word. “I’m bored.”

“You’ve said that, Matty,” you said, looking at Matthew. His curls were askew, and he was looking at you upside down from where he was laying near your feet. He pouted at you.

“Y’know, you won’t melt if you go outside. Probably,” Taryn chimed in from her spot on the other couch. Matthew flips her off but is immediately scolded by Chantal.

“Play a game together or something,” his mom said as she walked away.

You, Matt, and Taryn shared a look. The last time you had all played Monopoly had ended with Matthew storming off after he kept landing on your hotels, and any attempts to play video games together usually devolve into yelling and sabotage. (Matt once threw an actual banana peel at your head while playing Mario Kart.) You don’t know what any of you expected, really.

Matthew sat up suddenly, knocking away from where you had absently been playing with his curls, and also nearly slamming the top of his head into your chin.

“I have an idea,” he said, bouncing off the couch. You and Taryn groaned at the same time. Matt shoots you both a dirty look before rushing off to the basement.

He doesn’t come back after a couple minutes, so you settle back in to read your book. You’ve almost forgotten that Matthew had left on a mission when you’re hit in the cheek with a Nerf dart.

“Ow! What the fuck?”

“Hey, watch your language, my baby sister is in the room!” Taryn scoffed; Matt shot her, too.

“Was this your idea?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at Matthew. “Just shoot me and Taryn with Nerf darts because you’re annoying?”

“Nah,” Matthew said, pulling out another Nerf gun. “Catch.”

You did, automatically checking to see if Matthew had been kind enough to load darts in it for you. He had, so you shot him in the belly button. He groaned and raised his gun to shoot at you again.

“Hang on, how come I don’t get a gun?” Taryn protested.

“Because then I’ll be outnumbered?” Matthew said.

There was a pause, then all three of you yelled, “Brady!”

Brady stumbled downstairs a moment later, looking like he’d been asleep.

“Nerf war, little bro,” Matthew said, still brandishing his gun. “All the guns and darts you can carry, let’s go.” Brady shook his head but followed Matthew down to the basement, you and Taryn close behind.

Matthew had dragged out the big storage container of Nerf stuff from somewhere in the depths of their basement, and there were already foam darts scattered all over the floor. Matthew dropped to his knees beside the bin and started digging through it again. It was mostly quiet for a couple minutes as you all collected guns and ammo, aside from small arguments over certain guns, until Taryn saw Matt and Brady stashing darts in their shorts’ pockets.

“Hey, wait a minute, that’s not fair. We don’t have pockets,” she said.

“Sucks to suck,” Matt said, not looking up from where he was filling a revolver.

Taryn shot him in the hand, which resulted in a small shootout while you and Brady rolled your eyes at each other. In the end, you and Taryn each ended up in one of the boys’ hoodies; you loaded up the hood and the pocket with spare darts.

Once you’d all decided that you were prepared enough, the boys claimed the basement as a base, and you and Taryn took over the living room.

It didn’t take long for chaos to ensue. Matt and Brady tried to make the first move, and tried to sneak up on you and Taryn, but you were each guarding a doorway into the living room, and the boys retreated quickly. You followed and sat near the top of the stairs to pelt whoever tried to come up them. It went on for nearly ten minutes, until Matthew got frustrated and yelled that he was going to take you hostage if you didn’t stop.

It was quiet for a few minutes, then, while you and Taryn debated trying to attack the boys in the basement, and Matt and Brady presumably making their own plans. Outside, the rain was still coming down steadily.

It turned out that both teams decided to attack at the same time, and you met in the hallway. There was a flurry of darts. Someone got you in the cheek. You shot Matthew in the ear and Brady in the arm. Taryn got the most shots in, though, and in an attempt to escape upstairs, Brady tripped over his feet and fell up the stairs. You and Taryn were too busy laughing to keep shooting him.

You were hunting for spare darts on the ground when Brady ambushed you, and you both ran down the hallway yelling.

“Glad the kids are getting along,” you heard Keith comment mildly as you ran past him.

There was a standoff in the basement a little while later. You and Taryn were on one side of the couch, and Matt and Brady were on the other. Any attempts to move just resulted in getting shot, so no one was doing much. You could hear Matt and Brady talking quietly, but you couldn’t make out what they were saying. You and Taryn, on the other hand, were just texting each other.

“Hey,” Matthew called. His head popped up a little, and you carefully aimed a dart at his curls. “Ow.”

“Whatever you’re gonna say, the answer is no,” you said automatically. Though, you were getting a little tired of sitting on the floor.

“What I was going to say,” Matthew started, but you never found out exactly what he was going to say, because Keith burst down the stairs at that moment, gun in hand.

You and Taryn both shrieked and scrambled for better cover, but Walt was– surprisingly– faster, and your back got pelted with darts. Matt and Brady must’ve tried to see what the commotion was about, because you heard them both yell, followed by Keith laughing. You scrambled over the couch and turned to attack Keith back, and Taryn followed you.

“Where did he even get a gun?” Matthew asked, ducking to avoid a dart that went past his ear.

“Must’ve grabbed one of the ones we left upstairs,” Taryn replied, neatly shooting her dad in the shoulder.

“Why the fuck would you do that?” Matthew asked. He was too busy looking appalled at you and Taryn, and didn’t notice that he was exposed. He got hit twice in the chest and fell backwards, groaning.

“Language,” you chided, leaning up to get Keith in the hand.

There were three more of you than there were of Keith, which meant more guns, and before long he was out of darts.

“Alright, alright, I surrender,” he laughed. Brady shot him once more in the stomach for good measure before he left his gun behind and went back upstairs.

Matthew flopped onto the couch and sighed. You started to level your gun at him, but he knocked it out of your hands.

“I’m so tired,” he said.

“Is that you giving up?” Taryn said from next to you. “Do we win?”

“Technically, I had the last shot,” Brady piped in.

The only logical response was to shoot him, which Taryn did, nailing him easily in the sternum.

“Now we win,” she said smugly.

When Chantal called everyone to clean up for dinner, you walked around the house to survey the carnage. Someone– Brady, probably– had shot a suction dart at a picture frame, where it was stuck neatly over Matthew’s face. Someone had gotten multiple darts stuck in the bubble hockey game. There was another on top of a doorframe. Matthew spent five minutes digging darts out from underneath and between sofa cushions. Miraculously, nothing had been broken, though Brady was complaining about his toe from when he tripped on the stairs.

It had stopped raining at some point while you were all in the basement, and the setting sun was starting to peek through the clouds.

“Did you kids have fun?” Chantal asked as you all sat down.

“Oh yeah,” Matthew said, kissing your cheek as he slid into the chair next to you. “The girls kicked our asses though,” he added.

You and Taryn high-fived across the table.

#cait writes things #matthew tkachuk #brady tkachuk #technically #matthew tkachuk fic #matthew tkachuk imagine #hockey fic #hockey imagine #nhl fic #nhl imagine #hockey fanfiction

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broadstbroskis · 4 years

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five times you shared a bed with your best friend plus one time you didn’t | matthew tkachuk

lol so @slimskjei-dy requested the prompt 16. We’ve been sharing a bed since we were little so why is this weird now? from a list i put out a couple days ago to write blurbs for and this spiraled out of control, so here’s nearly 4k.

one

The Tkachuk’s move into the house next door to your family the summer before you start preschool and at the ripe age of three, you are too young to have any idea what going with your mom to drop off “welcome to the neighborhood” brownies is going to mean for your future.

Really, it likely has more to do with the fact that “welcome to the neighborhood” brownies turned into a glass of “welcome to the neighborhood” wine between your mom and Chantal Tkachuk, which turned into a bottle of wine while you and Matthew played in the backyard with Brady’s chubby little baby legs trying his hardest to keep up.

By the time Keith arrived home from a midday skate session, with your dad awkwardly following behind, babbling about how your mom had just planned on dropping something off quickly but was still missing, their friendship was basically cemented. Chantal and your mom did everything together. And your dads’ friendship didn’t take long to form after that.

Which meant you and Matty were right there with them.

But neither of you cared. You’d settled quickly into a friendship, just like your parents had, where you’d play hockey with him and he’d begrudgingly play soccer with you, and you both pretended you had no idea what Brady was talking about when he ran to tattle that you were ganging up on him and not letting him play.

There’s countless pictures of the two of you growing up, getting into all kinds of trouble, but then also, of the quieter moments too. Sitting too close to the TV watching movies, eagerly waiting by the door for Keith to come home from a road trip with souvenirs, the naps curled up around each other in one of your beds.

“The quietest twenty minutes of the day.” Keith continues to joke, anytime one of those pictures resurfaces.

two

You wince at the sound of glass crashing behind you and decide the best course of action is to keep moving forward with your mission to find Matthew. Whichever hockey bro of Matthew’s house this is can take care of that; it’s not your job.

Besides, the room is spinning from the cheap beer and booze you’d been drinking all night since the two of you arrived at this party, and you’re pretty sure it’s a bad idea to go near glass.

You find Matthew in the kitchen, with a few of his St. Louis hockey bros, a couple of them guys that you’re still friends with even after he’d left to go join the NTDP, as well as a few faces you don’t recognize. You slip up into their circle, sliding under Matty’s arm when it lifts to wrap around your shoulders, grateful for the solid body to lean against.

The room is really starting to spin.

“You okay?” He asks, ignoring whoever’s speaking.

“I don’t think I can go home tonight.” You admit.

He laughs. “Text your mom and tell her you’re staying with me. Big Walt and Chantal are at a tourney with Brady and Taryn; nobody’s home.”

“You don’t think she knows your parents aren’t home?” You scoff, but you’re already pulling out your phone and carefully drafting the text, making sure to avoid any spelling errors that might give your drunkenness away.

“Yeah, but she can’t prove what she hasn’t seen.” Matty winks at you and you roll your eyes.

“Is that what you told your mom after you left her a three minute voicemail at 3am last month?” You chirp at him, smiling at the instant laughter from the friends around you and accepting a fist bump from Luke Kunin.

That line of chirping continues for a few minutes, until Matty manages to turn it around on one of the boys, and then it dissolves into a free for all before they’re all just laughing at each other.

By the time the giggling ends, you’re about three seconds away from falling asleep on Matt’s shoulder, and it’s his nudge that wakes you. “You ready?” You nod, joining him in making goodbyes to your friends, and then following him out the door to begin the walk back toward your houses.

The fresh air does some good to sober you up and you feel marginally less dizzy by the time you and Matt make it to his room. He throws you a t-shirt to change into and you fall into bed after changing, waiting for him to join you, eyes shutting the second you feel the bed settle beside you.

three

The night before Matty’s due to leave for Buffalo for the draft, your phone buzzes with a text from him. You’re expecting more of the same that you’ve been exchanging all day with him-in various group chats with your friends, at a barbeque with both your families, when the two of you were chatting with Brady while you hid in the far corner with the beers you snuck while Taryn and your sister were off doing their thing.

It’s not. Let me in the text says, so you shove the blankets down and make your way downstairs to open the door for him.

“Shh.” You tell him. “They’re all asleep.”

“It’s 3am, of course they are!” He whispers back.

“Well so was I until you woke me up!” You start walking back toward your room, knowing he’ll follow.

Matthew doesn’t speak again until the two of you are in your room, the door is closed, and he’s lying on his side to face you in your bed. “I couldn’t sleep.”

“You can’t possibly be nervous.” You whisper back, knowing he’s talking about the draft. He shrugs and you reach your hand out to shove his shoulder down, allowing it to rest there. “Matty.” He blinks at you a few times as you think of what to say next. “You’re gonna go somewhere and you’re going to be great. One of these teams is going to love you enough to draft you and everyone after them is going to be mad they didn’t have the chance to and almost everyone before them is going to be mad they didn’t end up picking you and you’re going to go off to whatever city does and forget all about me back here.”

Matthew wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him so you move your hand from the top of his shoulder around to rub at the blade gently. “First of all, that’ll never happen. You’re stuck with me forever.”

You nod seriously. “Somebody’s got to put up with you.”

He pokes you in the side for that one and you have to bite your lip to keep in the squeal of laughter. “Second of all, almost? Almost everyone is going to me mad they didn’t pick me?”

“Leafs got first pick to get Auston! I just don’t think they’re going to regret that!” He pokes you again and you don’t manage to hide the squeal this time. “Matty! Everyone’s sleeping!”

“You should be nicer to me.” He tells you, once you settle down.

“I should be nicer to you? You wake me up at 3am to talk you off the ledge and I should be nicer to you?”

He nods, pulling you even closer to bury his face in your hair. “Always.”

You laugh, the sound muffled into his chest now. “Are we all good now?”

“Hmm?” He says, sounding sleepy already.

“Never mind.” You tell him, rubbing his back again. “Good night, Matty.”

“G’night.”

four

Calgary is a thousand times more incredible than you’d ever imagined. You’d been teasing Matty about being stuck in a frozen wasteland, sending him snaps from sunny gamedays at Mizzou and laughing anytime you get one in return with snow in the picture.

There’s snow on the ground when you arrive in December, fresh out of finals, and still feeling both the mental exhaustion from your exams and the hangover from a day of binge drinking with your friends immediately after they’d ended. You’ll never fly hungover again; the next time you do this, you’ll leave yourself a day of rest between exams and flying up to visit your best friend, since you know you won’t stop drinking earlier.

College is making you smarter already!

Matthew actually laughs when he meets you in the pick up lane, like puts his head on the steering wheel and has to hold off on driving. He gets honked at by the car behind him. “Your laugh is making my headache worse.” You whine.

“So I take it you don’t want the bottle of wine I bought for us to split tonight?”

You look over at him suspiciously. “What kind of wine?”

He laughs again, but softer this time. “Atta girl.”

It’s a red blend, a favorite of the two of you, but a much nicer one than you’ve ever bought before. You let out a low whistle as Matthew places the order for dinner. “Suddenly you’ve got some cash flow and Barefoot’s too good?”

“Hell yeah! Wait until you see what kind of vodka I got for us for Saturday.”

You perk up. “What’s on Saturday?”

“Party with the team before my parents come in.”

You laugh, accepting the glass of wine he pours for you. “You don’t think Big Walt would want to come to the party?”

Matty gives you a look. “I know that’s exactly what would happen and that’s why I told them to come Sunday.”

“Smart thinking.” You admit.

“See, who needs college?” He teases, which settles the two of you into your familiar teasing and banter while you wait for the food to arrive.

It isn’t too long after dinner and Netflix that you and Matthew are heading to bed, pressing yourself as close as you can to suck up as much warmth that he’s radiating. “Fuck, your feet are cold.” Matty mutters as you giggle and press your toes into his calf.

“Haven’t you missed me?” You sling your leg over his for maximal toe digging, laughing when he jumps.

“I guess.” He says, but his tone says Absolutely.

five

“So what are your plans for after graduation?”Ashley, Sean Monahan’s girlfriend (and soon-to-be fiancee if Matty was to be believed) looks at you during a stoppage of play late in the third.

“God, don’t remind me.” You groan. You’d wrapped the fall semester of your senior year a couple days ago and then taken off to Calgary in what had become your annual post-finals trip. It’d be the last one you ever took, with your final semester of college looming over your head.

Ashley grins. She’d become a close friend of yours over all your trips to visit Matthew, even flying down to St. Louis last season when the Flames were in town and spending a weekend with some of the other girls visiting you at school afterwards. “Just come hang out up here forever.”

You burst into laughter. “And live where?”

She gives you a look, like it’s the most obvious thing ever. “With Matt?”

“Oh my god, you’re serious.” It takes a full minute for you to recover. Play has resumed, there’s a minor scrum on the ice in front of the two of you but you barely even notice, too shocked by Ashley’s words.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because why would I ever?”

“Because you already do.” She says, with more patience than you’ve possessed in your entire life combined, and then laughs at the look on your face. “YN, what you two have is so special! To fall in love with your best friend at age three and still feel that way is amazing! If Sean and I can look at each the way you and Matt do after twenty years, we could only be so lucky.”

“We’re not in love.” You deny. “Matty and I-we’re just-we’re not.”

Ashley bites her lip, but doesn’t push it any further. “Alright.” She agrees, and thankfully, the game ends there, so you’re able to just gather your things with her and make your way down toward the family room to meet the boys.

But you can’t get her words out of your head as you and Matthew arrive back to his place and start getting ready to go to bed. You move around each other with a practiced ease, handing him the toothpaste before he even asks for it and accepting the oversized sweatshirt he passes to you, somehow knowing that you’re extra chilly tonight.

Lying next to him in bed, the same way you have for nearly twenty years, suddenly feels suffocating. You roll onto your side, hoping for some room to breath, but now it just feels awkward; this isn’t how you sleep.

You sit up, ditching the sweatshirt. Maybe you’re just too warm. Lying back and pulling the covers back up does nothing to solve that problem, and actually, you’re shivering, so you sit back up and yank the sweatshirt back on.

“Could you settle down?” Matty mumbles, pulling you into his side the second that you’re flat again. His arm rests on your waist, thumb in the dip of your hip, a position it’s been in many times, but suddenly you think you’re having trouble breathing. You open your mouth to tell him this, but he presses a kiss to your temple and says, “Relax, just sleep.”

You don’t sleep a wink the entire night.

plus one

“What do you mean you’re not coming?” Dylan, a good friend of both yours and Matthew’s, is usually one of the most upbeat people you know, so the sound of disappointment coming throughout your phone actually makes you wince. “YN?”

“I just-” You hesitate. You’d have to leave right now in order to get to St. Louis in time to make the Skills Competitions, and even then you might be pushing it, and things were still weird for you with Matty, as evidenced by how things were between the two of you when he came home for his short Christmas break. And things were weird. Everyone noticed- your families, your friends, Matthew. The two of you had spoken only once since, in the group chat where Matthew had texted an invite to your group chat to come home for the weekend for the All Star Weekend and you’d noncommittally responded wow that’d be awesome. “I’m super busy.” You finish lamely.

Dylan sighs. “Look, YN, I don’t know what the fuck is going on between you and Matt and I don’t really care. It’s not my business. But I know he’d really want you there no matter what’s going on and I know you’ll regret not going if you don’t.”

You close your eyes for a second, taking a deep breath. He’s right. “I’ll see you in a few hours, Dyl.”

“Hell yeah,” Dylan cheers.

By the time you make it to St. Louis, you have to race to meet your friends in your seats and the cheer they send up is poorly timed, but it does make you smile. “Shitty seats.” You accept the bottle of Bud Light someone passes you.

Dylan laughs and points up to the giant platform next to you guys. “He’s going to be shooting from there in a while.”

“Alright.” You nod. “I guess this is acceptable then.”

It’s a good while before Matty and the rest of the guys participating in the Shooting Stars event start making their way up, but it’s nice to catch up with your other friends while you wait. If you got a big cheer when you rolled in, the one that goes up when Matthew walks by is deafening (and boostered by the friends of Brady’s that are sitting right behind you guys). The two of them look over at you guys, grinning already, and you see it in Matthew’s face when he spots you, the smirk softening a little and his eyes locking on you.

You’d read about moments where time stands still but it’d never actually happened to you until now. It’s like the crowd doesn’t exist around you, like you don’t actually need to breathe. The only thing that matters is the moment in time when your eyes meet Matty’s.

And that moment’s broken by Brady shoving him forward.

As you watch Matthew throughout the entirety of the last event, you know you’re screwed. You’ll get through this weekend, go back to school, and get over these thoughts by the time summer comes. Everything will be back to normal by the time you see Matty again.

In the meantime, you do your best to avoid him once the Skills Competition ends and you join everyone at the after party on the rooftop bar of the hotel. It’s easier than you think it would be to do. When Matty’s talking with some of your local friends, you find yourself catching up with both sets of your parents. When he starts making his way toward your parents, you excuse yourself to the bathroom. You see him make a beeline towards the bar, so you dart off in the opposite direction, where Brady is talking with a couple of his Atlantic Division teammates and push yourself in between the height of him and Auston Matthews, which seems like a safe spot to hide.

“YN!” Auston grins, throwing his hands up in the air, in a drunken greeting that you’d love to be more lowkey.

You reach up and grab them, yanking them down. “Listen, I know it’s been a while since we’ve last hung out and all, and I know from the way you talk and dress and everything about you that this is a hard thing for you to comprehend, but I’m really going to need some subtlety from you.” Next to him, Mitch and Freddie burst into laughter. “Down low, boo. Down low.”

Auston is laughing as well and you remember that while the times you’ve spent with him have been few and far between, unable to visit Matthew as frequently during his time with the NTDP as you have been in Calgary, they’ve certainly been memorable...so moments like this are unshocking to him, to say the least.

They don’t even faze Brady, who’d grown up with both you and Matthew, and is merely looking at you with an entirely too familiar smirk and a raised brow. “What’s the subtlety for, YN?”

“Fuck off, Brady.” You flip your middle finger up at him quickly but it’s just enough time for the entire group of hockey players around you to pounce. You really should have known better.

“I knew something was up!” Auston grins.

“Nothing’s up.” You deny, very poorly.

“Really?” Brady grins. “‘Cause Matt’s like right there.” He points. “On his way here. So I guess if nothing’s wrong, you can-” He starts immediately laughing when you shove your way out of them.

You think you manage to lose your best friend by pushing through a large group of players and family from the Metro and Central divisions and throwing yourself out the door to the outdoor patio, which is mostly empty, despite the unseasonably warm winter St. Louis has been experiencing. You can see Brady, Auston, and Quinn laughing together through the glass door, but Matty’s nowhere to be found, and you sit down on the closest bench, taking a minute to just breathe.

“You gotta tell me what I did.” The voice scares you, but it shouldn’t, because you really should have known better than to think that Matty wouldn’t be able to find you.

When you look over at Matty on the bench beside you, you can’t think of another time he’s looked this devastated. Maybe that semi-final loss in World Juniors? Maybe? It’s all over his face and you can’t just leave him like this any longer. “It’s not you.” You tell him, holding back tears. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Then tell me what’s wrong so I can fix it!” Matthew says, frustratedly.

“You can’t fix it!” You sniffle, trying to scoot away from him, to give yourself some distance, and feeling the tears start to fall when he closes that space again. “You can’t go back and stop Ashley from making me realize that I’m in love with you, okay? So you can’t fix this and I just-I need some time, Matty! Okay? I need some time!”

“Don’t be fucking stupid.” He breathes, like he’s only just recovered the ability to talk, which, he might have, and you tilt your head to meet his eyes, which puts you in a perfect position considering he’s already leaning toward you.

Matthew fumbles for a second, his hand reaching for your cheek and catching your ear instead with you turning, but he recovers quickly, stroking gently down the side of your face. You gasp, the kiss entirely unexpected, and Matty takes the opportunity to tug on your lip gently before pulling away and you let out a whimper at the loss of contact.

He smirks.

“Don’t be smug.” You shove at his shoulder.

“Don’t be stupid.” He repeats, pulling you closer. “How could you ever think I wouldn’t be in love with you?”

“I didn’t want to ruin us.” You tell him softly. “But I am willing to concede I was wrong.”

Matty grins. “Sure were. Can do this anytime I want now.” He kisses you again, leaving you just as breathless as before.

You suppose, at some point, that’ll start to wear off, but as the two of you trade lazy kisses on the rooftop, you can’t imagine that point ever coming. This is perfection, this is the piece of your relationship you didn’t even know was missing coming together, this is-

-Brady knocking on the window?

What?

You blink again, realizing where you’re at. Still on the rooftop bench, with your arm wrapped around Matty’s neck, your legs draped over his lap, and your face tucked into his shoulder. Matthew’s arms are wrapped around your waist, holding you close, and his head rests on top of yours. Somehow still asleep through all the banging Brady’s been doing.

“Matty.” You poke him awake.

“What?” He groans, sitting up.

“Brady.” Matthew looks over at the window, where Brady is still gesturing that it’s time to leave, with a very smug grin on his face. Matthew lifts one hand off your waist to flip his brother off, allowing you to climb off.

“You couldn’t have answered any of the texts we sent you?” Brady asks, once you step inside, but he doesn’t sound annoyed at all, still looking between the two of you with the biggest grin on his face.

Matthew shrugs. “Must have fallen asleep.”

“Bullshit.”

“You just saw us!”

Brady rolls his eyes, knowingly. “Just kiss her already.”

Matty grins. “Gladly.” And then he’s pressing a heated kiss against your lips, looping his arm around your waist, and it’s all you can do to grip his arm with one hand to keep yourself standing and flip off the crowd around you with your other as whoever’s left at this after party burst into applause and wolf-whistles.

#matthew tkachuk imagine #matthew tkachuk fanfic #matthew tkachuk fanction #hockey imagines #hockey fanfiction #nhl imagines #hockey fanfic #my hockey fics

770 notes · View notes

destiniesfic · 3 years

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132 Hours, Chapter 5:

If I die out here alone, for nothing, I will feel so incredibly stupid.

Note: There is a content warning this chapter for a brief mention of past attempted sexual assault. The mention comes near the end of the chapter.

Read chapter 5 on AO3, or read below:

Despite the damp cool of the basement, I am warm when I finally blink my eyes open to the dim morning light. Cardan has curled up at my back.

Alpha blood tends to run hot, they say. It plays into the general myth that we are opposites in every way: alphas hot, omegas cold; alphas strong, omegas weak; alphas dominant, omegas submissive, and so on. Scientifically the hot-cold theory has a little backing, though we’re talking an average temperature difference of 0.2 to 0.5 degrees max. But with Cardan so close to me, practically radiating heat, I am almost inclined to believe it.

We’re not touching too much. He has sort of nestled his face into the juncture of my neck and shoulder, and if I hadn’t slept in my sweatshirt I could probably feel his eyelashes tickle my skin. His hand found the curve of my waist in the night. But that’s it. The rest of him is a few inches away, like even in sleep he finds it difficult to overcome his revulsion to me.

It’s almost comfortable, if I forget who I am and who he is. Not even what I am and what he is, because Madoc’s position means that if any handsome, eligible alpha bachelors deigned to outright marry an omega, as he had once married our mother, Taryn and I would be the best of the bunch—best-connected, best-educated, best-groomed. No, it’s that he is Cardan and I am Jude, and I have hated him ever since my body put itself at war with my brain, and he has hated me too, just because I was afforded some small amount of privilege without being born into it.

And still, I stay there for a minute, soaking up his warmth. Because I didn’t think I’d have this anytime soon. I didn’t think I’d get to wake up next to a boy cuddling me, not after what happened with Valerian and definitely not after what happened with Locke. And even though these are the worst circumstances, and this is the worst boy, there’s something perversely nice about it.

Or maybe I just like things that are bad for me.

I was thinking of seeing if girls were better when I got to college, but they don’t really explain how alpha-omega girl sex works in school and I am not about to ask Vivi. And now I don’t know if I’ll even make it to college, so maybe it’s not so bad if I steal a moment of peace.

But then the stink of mildew cuts through Cardan’s rich sweet-musky-boy scent and I am forcibly reminded of where we are and why, especially now of all times, I can’t afford to be soft. So I jam my elbow back into his side, and if I do it with maybe a little less force than I normally would, well, it’s not like he knows that.

Cardan awakens with a start. “Ow!” he says, rolling over onto his back and pressing a hand to his side. “What the hell!”

“You’re fine.” I sit up, take down my now grody ponytail, run my fingers through it and begin to put it up again, watching him out of the corner of my eye. “Today’s the day.”

Cardan scowls at me, rubbing his side.

“Do or die day,” I clarify, looping my elastic around another time. “In case you forgot.”

“I remember,” he huffs. “That mattress is terrible.”

“Well, maybe tonight you’ll get to sleep in your own bed. Or maybe we’ll be dead. Or we’ll be locked in this room again and you can sleep on the floor.”

“Such tempting options. However will I choose?”

I roll my shoulders, trying to work the kinks out of my muscles. “My guess is we’re going to be held up with the police for questioning for a long time. You might not have to. Maybe the choice will be made for you.”

“As always, Duarte, I do so admire your rosy outlook.” Cardan finger-combs his hair and sits up all the way, blinking at me. “I’m still worried about the third guy.”

I don’t tell him that I’d been thinking the same thing. “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” I say quietly. “We have two other bridges to cross first.”

Only a minute or so after I say it, there’s that knock on the door. I glance at Cardan, who needs to play the role of alpha today, and wait for him to speak, even though it sucks to defer to him. He takes his time about it, too, stretching his long legs, running his fingers through his hair once more, like he has all the time in the world, like the person on the other end of the door should be so lucky as to strangle him.

Just as I’m about to strangle him, he calls, “Yes?”

The door opens. The scarred man and his gun are there, along with, absurdly, a little paper Starbucks bag in his other hand. An upgrade. He looks at me and Cardan—we’re now both sitting on the mattress, even though we are a few feet apart—but if he has any comments he keeps them to himself. He shakes the bag like he’s trying to call in a wayward dog. “Breakfast.”

“Thanks,” I say, because it is my place to be deferential.

“No coffee?” Cardan asks.

I whip my head around to glare at him. The man grunts, “Didn’t know how you took it.” Disconcertingly, I can’t tell if he has a sense of humor or if he’s serious.

Airily, Cardan says, “Fine. Put it down wherever.”

The scarred man raises both his eyebrows, but he half-sets, half-drops the bag on the floor and backtracks through the door, closing it and leaving us alone. Cardan goes over to retrieve it and peers inside. “Okay, looks like sausage, egg, and cheddar and… turkey bacon?”

I hold out my hand. “Give me the turkey bacon.”

“Oh, thank god,” Cardan says, and this time he doesn’t take a bite out of it before he hands it to me.

“Not a fan of turkey bacon?”

He scowls. “It’s all healthy. Plus, it’s not like turkeys actually have a belly to cut bacon from. You have to grind it up and make it yourself.”

I snort, but am happy for his judgment if it means my breakfast escapes unscathed. It doesn’t surprise me that Cardan couldn’t care less about eating healthily. From what I know, he has a mostly liquid diet, and the liquid is mainly alcohol. Not that it matters much. He probably won’t be able to keep getting away with it after a few more years, but right now his body takes pretty much everything he consumes and uses it to build him more muscle.

I think of how hard I have to strength train for a fraction of what Cardan gains just by existing, and how some of the training shows, especially in my arms and back, but the rest is buried under a cozy layer of body fat, and I kind of want to strangle him again. Just one of the many downsides of being an omega.

Since I don’t have any fun facts about turkey bacon to contribute, we eat breakfast without speaking. We had agreed that it was important to get our strength up for whatever lies ahead, but I find it hard to chew and swallow, even though the sandwich is lukewarm. I end up offering the last half to Cardan, who takes it despite his complaints.

Then, once enough time has passed, he gives me a look, and I nod and stand, shaking my legs out. Instead of staying in my usual corner, I stand next to the door, tense, waiting. With one last glance at me, Cardan strides over and knocks.

We have a system with our captors now. They know that the knocking means we want out for one reason or another. They either call through the door to find out why or just open it right away. This time, the door simply opens. Cardan stays where he is and does not move to the back of the room.

“Hey,” he says. “It’s that time again.”

It’s the woman’s voice I hear, and I am privately thankful. “Okay, back up.”

“But I was hoping I could go first.”

“Back up.”

Cardan takes one step back. It’s now that she realizes that I’m not in my corner. Just a little further, I think. And she gives me the half-step I need.

“What’d you do with your friend?” she asks.

To answer that question, I grab her by her shirt and drag her into the cell.

Surprise is a legitimate advantage, but a fleeting one. Since she’s armed and I’m not, I need to move fast. I don’t have to think much about it. I jam my knee into her stomach; all of the air leaves her lungs in a startled gasp, and her grip loosens on the gun. I pry it from her hand with one of mine and use the other, still fisted into her shirt, to pull her further into the room—and let go.

It only takes a few seconds. I dart out. Cardan has already gone ahead, as I told him to, and I pull the door to behind me, quickly twisting the lock on the knob. That was phase one.

“Um, Jude,” says Cardan.

I turn, raising my stolen pistol in front of me before I do anything else, finger resting dangerously near the trigger. The scarred man stands on the other side of the table, his gun also raised. But instead of aiming it at Cardan, as we thought he would, he is pointing that barrel at me.

“This is a surprise,” he says.

Behind me, the doorknob rattles as the woman realizes I’ve locked her in.

“Let her out,” the man tells us, voice steady and slow.

“Or what?” I ask. Somehow, my voice doesn’t shake. “We’re both armed. Let us go and I won’t shoot you.”

“Do you even know how to use that thing?” he asks.

“What do you think?”

He cocks his head to look me over, evaluate my posture, my steady grip. “Huh,” he says, and then he moves to point his gun at Cardan instead. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Cardan’s Adam’s apple bob as he swallows. “I’ll only ask nicely one more time.”

I snort. “Sure. Do me the favor.”

The scarred man raises an eyebrow. Cardan whispers, “Jude?” like he isn’t sure whether or not I am playing a game. I am not sure either. I am intoxicated by the adrenaline pulsing through me.

“We’re not friends,” I clarify. “Shoot him if you want.”

Cardan gives me a panicked look.

“Of course, if you’ve promised to give him back alive, that’s going to cause some trouble.” My palm is sweaty. I shift my grip on the gun. The knob rattles again at my back, and I hear a soft curse, a hand slamming on the door. “It’s your call.”

The man’s lip curls into a kind of terrible smile. “All right, girl,” he says. “You go free. He stays. Leave the gun on the top step.”

I blink. “Really?”

“Final offer.”

I should go right away. Instead, I glance at Cardan, who has gone pale. But he looks at me again, and then, defying all my understanding of him, he whispers, “Go, Jude.”

So I do. Slowly, my entire body quivering with tension, I walk backwards up the stairs, keeping my pistol trained on the scarred man until the last possible moment. I try the knob at the top, and find it unlocked. It seems too easy, but with one last, stomach-churning glimpse of Cardan’s white face, I flee. But I don’t do everything. I do not give up the gun.

The house I step into has obviously long been abandoned—it was probably never even finished. Some of the walls have gaping holes in the plaster, the support beams visible; some were never plastered at all. There is no furniture to speak of. I don’t linger to take it in. I start running, through a hallway, in the direction of what might be the front door. When I find it, I tumble out into bright morning sunlight, and I keep going.

Immediately I know I am well and truly in the middle of nowhere. All around me is a field of overgrown grass. If there is a road, I cannot see or hear it. Still, I have to assume there was once a driveway that led somewhere, so I take off as fast as I can toward a distant line of trees. I do not wonder about Cardan. I do not wonder about anything.

For a minute it is just me, my feet flattening the dew-damp grass, my lungs straining with every breath. I am alone in a way that I haven’t been in days. Then there is a crack from behind me, and then I feel something rush past my face, just missing me. Startled, I drop the stolen pistol, which lands harmlessly in the grass and thankfully does not fire. I don’t stop running for it. Stopping is the last thing I should do, not when I am so close.

Still, my stomach drops. Without slowing too much, I glance over my shoulder back at the house. The second floor is half-intact, and I can kind of see through the wall—there might be a dark shape perched there. A man. The third man.

He’s a sniper.

I swear under my breath, and my panicked heart skips a beat. They chose this place on purpose. There’s no cover out here, giving them a clear view of whoever might be coming or going. Giving them time to move us in case the cavalry arrived. My only choices are to keep running until I am out of range, or stop, and go back. And I am not doing that.

If I die out here alone, for nothing, I will feel so incredibly stupid.

There’s another crack, now unmistakably the sound of a rifle being fired, and this time I feel when it hits—really more of a graze, but it still skims through my flesh about midway up my calf, leaving a tear in its wake. The strange thing is that, at first, being shot doesn’t hurt at all. It doesn’t feel like much of anything. It shouldn’t be enough to make me miss my step. I falter anyway, and when I bring my foot down I land on it wrong and roll my ankle. I drop with a cry into the grass, tears stinging the corner of my eyes.

But even then I keep going, crawling on my hands and knees through the long summer grass, blinking back my tears because I refuse to let myself cry. I don’t look at my ankle or my wound. It is only when I hear the grass crunching underfoot behind me, and a shadow falls over me, that I finally, finally stop moving forward.

I don’t stop fighting, though. The man—Cardan had described him as tall, and he was right—picks me up with some effort and, without a word, throws me over his shoulder like a sack of garbage. After adjusting me a little so my weight is more evenly distributed, he turns to carry me back to the house. All the time I am squirming, trying to kick, pounding at his back with my fists, screaming with the faint hope that someone might hear me. It isn’t enough to get the sniper to loosen his grip on my waist, but I do feel him wince in pain a couple of times, giving me some small, bitter satisfaction.

All I think is, I shouldn’t have dropped the gun.

Despair begins to set in as we reenter the unfinished house, as the sniper shoulders his way through the door to the basement and carries me down the stairs. Cardan is seated in a chair, rumpled but seemingly unharmed, his hands behind his back. Apparently, someone has bothered to tie him up or handcuff him this time. He sits forward when he sees me carried in. “Jude?”

“Are you sure he’s the alpha?” the sniper asks his companions. “He seems to have gone easy on you.” He deposits me into another chair, and the woman is there immediately to cuff my hands, threading the handcuff chain through the chair back so I am well and truly stuck. I see that some of my blood has soaked into the sniper’s black shirt and think, Good. My leg is starting to hurt now, in throbs, like a bad burn.

“You shot her?” Cardan asks, straining against his bonds.

“I’m fine,” I say, avoiding his gaze. I cannot believe he would do something as stupid as give himself up so I could go free. I look at my wounded calf, streaked red. There is an angry-looking tear there, but it could have been much worse. He didn’t hit bone. “It’s a graze.”

“Because he’s good at his job,” says the scarred man.

The sniper shakes his head and disappears into the room beyond the bathroom. He returns with a first aid kit and begins to stoop down next to me so he can clean my calf, but I raise my foot, threatening to kick him again.

“That’s enough,” the scarred man says. “Believe it or not, we don’t want to hurt you kids.”

“Not,” I mutter under my breath.

“Hurting you wasn’t part of the remit unless you misbehaved,” says the sniper. “Is that more believable?”

I scowl and hold out my leg so that he can clean the wound. Cardan’s eyes narrow. “We can’t just trust you,” he says, as a stinging antiseptic pad is applied to the torn skin and I flinch. “We don’t even know who you are. Give us something. Names. Something to call you.”

The scarred man and the woman look at each other. The woman says, “You can call me the Bomb. This is the Roach. That—” She points to the sniper. “Is the Ghost. You can figure out why for yourself.”

“You call yourself the Roach?” Cardan asks. “Wow. I mean, love yourself a little.”

To my surprise, the man grins. “Not my choice, but we don’t get to choose. How’s her leg?”

“The twisted ankle is going to give her the most trouble,” the Ghost replies. He presses a clean cotton pad to the wound and binds it in gauze. Then he starts on wrapping my ankle. He’s efficient; he’s done this before. “Although I’m guessing we don’t want her mobile anyway.”

“I wouldn’t mind if she taught me a couple of moves,” the Bomb says, rubbing her stomach. I wonder if I bruised her. “What was that, karate?”

“Krav maga,” I admit, glaring at the Ghost as he props my foot up on the nearest empty chair. Ignoring me, he stands and leaves to wash his hands. “I’ve been training since I was nine.”

The Roach lets out a low whistle. “Someone didn’t want you getting jumped.”

I turn my glare on him. “For all the good it did me.”

For reasons I don’t understand, the Roach grins and holds up his hands. “This? This is just a paperwork dispute. Once everything’s signed and sealed, we’ll turn you loose.”

“Lot of hassle for some paperwork,” Cardan remarks. “You could have just let Jude go if it isn’t that big of a deal.”

“I’m starting to see it,” the Bomb says to the Ghost. “Although, yeah, I could have sworn the girl was the alpha too for a second there.”

And if that isn’t absurd enough, Cardan leans toward me across the table and asks, “Did they teach you how to slip handcuffs in krav maga school?”

“Do you want to dislocate your thumbs?” the Ghost asks abruptly, reemerging from the bathroom.

I give Cardan a shrug and a nod—that is how to do it—and he shudders.

“Look, we know just about everything there is to know about this guy,” says the Roach, pulling out the last empty chair and sitting across from me. “But now I’m curious about you.”

I blink. “There’s not much to say.”

“He has quite a file on him,” says the Bomb, jerking her head to indicate Cardan, who pulls an innocent face. “But you were nowhere in it. We thought you were a bystander, a fling, or maybe his new girlfriend—”

“His what?” I squawk.

“But you’re way more interesting than that,” the Roach concludes. “Cardan told us this whole little escape plan was yours.”

The Ghost, for his part, leans against the wall, folds his arms over his chest, and says nothing. I decide I would like him best except for the part where he shot me.

“Why don’t you just let Cardan tell my life story, then?” I snap, angry at everything and everyone.

“Gladly,” Cardan says, looking a little too gleeful. “Jude Duarte was born with a chip on her shoulder. She’s glaring about ninety percent of the time and never lets her guard down, ever. As far as I know, she’s only gotten drunk once. She and her sister were the first omegas to graduate from our school, and Jude staged a coup by being named valedictorian, too, as if being first at just one thing wasn’t good enough. Our last semester, she gave a kid a black eye and got him expelled.”

“Why?” The Bomb asks. “What did he do?”

Cardan lapses into an embarrassed silence that I don’t really understand. Valerian had been his friend, once. Maybe still is. I say casually, “He tried to do what alphas always do,” like I don’t still feel the awful weight on top of me, the cheekbone cracking under my knuckles. “So I did what I had to.”

“They expel kids for that now?” asks the Roach. “Huh. Good on them.”

“Jude’s dad made a persuasive case,” Cardan says.

They exchange bemused glances. The Ghost asks, “Who’s her dad?”

Cardan and I look at each other across the table. They really don’t know.

“My adoptive father,” I clarify, because it matters. “He’s a lawyer. Uh, his last name’s Madoc?”

“Oh,” says the Roach. “Shit.”

#jurdan #judecardan #jude x cardan #jude duarte #cardan greenbriar #tfota #the cruel prince #the wicked king #the queen of nothing #the folk of the air #jurdan fanfic #mine: fic #fic: 132 hours

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imorphemi · 4 years

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WOO LORE TIME ‘rubs hands together’

First off though, lets name these kiddos. I’ve decided to call those five the Reborn for now, though I might change them later. Anyways, those five are (from left to right) Kael, Volante, Taryn, Roane, and Diya. The one alone on the left you already know. Thats Arine, or Naeri, her new name.

So these six have the most lore >:3 All of them were pretty much just average skykids, until, yknow, Arine sucked their wings out of them and basically combined their souls with hers using the contraption that their ancestors made long ago.

Arine is Corrode’s sister, and she’s been in Sky for a very, very long time. She enjoys helping younger kiddos around, until it got kind of boring. To her own amusement, she began feeding moths to the krills. It wasn’t long before Corrode witnessed her doing that and saved the poor moth from the krill, and she yelled at him for saving the kid. She continued on krill feeding, taking off her mask as a sign that she was able to be trusted. One day, she discovered the machine that sucked the light out of creatures to be stored in power diamonds. Long story short, she used it on other skykids, Roane being the first because he was the youngest moth she knew who she did not feed to the krills; he did not have a lot of wings. It worked, so she led and trapped four other kids in the machine, taking away their light for hers.

Keep in mind that it was quite a painful process (have you seen the residue left behind by the creatures after their light was taken???)

This part is just an idea, im not sure if i will keep it: Since she had too much light to contain, she began to manifest the light into physical objects.

Anyways, the Wasteland Elder noticed her soul and detained her, calling the other elders like, dude this girl’s soul has five other ones in it. The elders separated the souls and brought them back to their bodies for the kids to be reborn, complete wipe, no memories, while the Vault Elder also gave Arine a chance to be reborn, either from her own means or the Elder’s. Arine decided to let herself be reborn, so she went to Eden one last time (with Corrode, because he hasn’t seen her in weeks and convinced her to let him join) and was reborn.

Corrode went into sort of a frenzy trying to find her after that trip.

The Reborn woke up in Isle together and just, decided to stick together. For some reason, they felt this deja vu everywhere they went, as if they knew it a long time ago, but couldn’t quite remember it. Still had fun exploring the worlds though!

They came to wasteland and Kael led everyone safely around the krills. However, when they were on top of building overlooking the krills, they saw a very, very unfortunate moth get krilled by all the dragons in the area. It was as if they sensed her and just went out to get her. All five of them were standing there like, uh, we should probably help her. But the thing is, not only is there the fear of the krill, they also felt like that moth was dangerous, like she should not be approached.

Corrode soon swooped down and rescued said moth so aight shes fine lets go.

They did meet again later, although I’m not sure how yet.

#my art #arts #sky children of the light #OC #thatskygame #arine #kael #volante #taryn #roane #diya

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lostinfantasyworlds · 4 years

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Thank you so much for the tag, @goshinote! 😄

I made this a separate post since it was getting kind of long, but here’s a link to the thread. I loved reading through these and getting to know everyone!!

What do you prefer to be called name-wise? Taryn (pronounced like Karen but with a T). I never had any nicknames or anything

When is your birthday? June 7th

Where do you live? Connecticut, USA

Three things you are doing right now? Attempting to finish this ridiculously hard project for work by tomorrow (Photoshopping out a bunch of stop lights from in front of a building - it’s a bitch), eating Dairy Queen, and watching Fruits Basket in the background

Four fandoms that have peaked your interest? The Mentalist (specifically Jisbon) was my OG fandom/ship and the reason I got into the fandom world on Tumblr. It was an amazing time getting to watch our slow burn ship finally become canon together! Then I also have a blog for Brooklyn 99 (specifically Peraltiago), and another blog for Game of Thrones (specifically Gendrya - although the last season of that show completely ruined it for me). And then of course the lovely Inuyasha fandom that I recently joined and has been amazing! :)

How has the pandemic been treating you? Not great. The beginning of quarantine definitely brought up my anxiety for a bit. I was super paranoid about my health, constantly taking my temperature and freaking out that I had Covid even though I wasn’t going anywhere or seeing anyone. Also couldn’t stop constantly refreshing the news and obsessing over the number of cases. Luckily that subsided after a while, but now I just feel really blah and depressed all the time. I’m sure pretty much everyone is feeling the same.

A song you can’t stop listening to right now? Blinding Lights by The Weeknd

Recommend a movie: I love musicals, and one of my favorite movies of all time is Across The Universe. It’s a musical using all songs by The Beatles. I’m not a mega fan of The Beatles, I like them a normal amount, but I LOVE this movie. I saw it multiple times in theaters and watch it every so often.

How old are you? 28

School, university, occupation, etc: I have a BFA in Communication Design (basically Graphic Design but the program had other stuff like coding and video editing so they made it more general) from Parsons The New School for Design in NYC. I used to work as a Communication Designer for 4.5 years at a small ecommerce company. I loved the work I was doing but my boss was a manipulative narcissist (similar to Trump in certain ways). Now I work for an architectural photographer doing post production. Basically he takes photos of buildings (a series of them on a tripod) and I combine the different exposures into one final image. At this point I feel like I can do almost anything in Photoshop if I have enough time haha. I have had to remove the craziest shit from photos that I would have never thought possible.

Do you prefer heat or cold? I very much prefer the season of Summer over Winter, but I guess I slightly prefer cold over heat as far as comfort level. I cannot sleep if it’s humid/hot, I always need the AC on. If I’m cold I can at least snuggle under tons of blankets.

Name one fact others may not know about you: I’ve been married for 4 years to my middle/high school sweetheart. We’ve been dating since I was 13, so we’ve been together for more than half my life! Although I just realized that’s not really a fact about me so also I’m an only child lol

Are you shy? Yes and no. I’m really shy when it comes to initiating conversation/starting friendships or knowing what to say at first. But if someone starts a conversation with me, or once I know you better, I can talk forever lol.

Preferred pronouns: She/her

Biggest pet peeves: Abuse of power/bad leadership

What is your favorite ‘dere’ type? I honestly didn’t know there were more than tsundere so I’m just going to go with that lol. I do love tsundere characters though!

Rate your life from 1-10: I could go with a 7 or 8. I can’t complain too much. I have a great life with my husband, our house, and our two dogs. And amazing family and friends. Just haven’t been taking care of myself because of pandemic-related depression, and I’m pretty over my job. But things could be much worse. I’m really grateful for my life!

What’s your main blog? taryn-artistic-optimism

List your side blogs and what they’re used for:

goodluckteresta - The Mentalist/Jisbon peraltiagostyle99 - Brooklyn 99/Peraltiago gendrya-stark-baratheon - Game of Thrones/Gendrya

Is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends? I guess that I overthink and over explain everything? I also am not a super private person so I’ll tell you pretty much anything you want to know about me if you ask. Oh also I can be really bad at responding to messages sometimes, I suck

Tagging some people?

@born-for-eachother @redflamesofpassion @clementinesgulag @misteria247 @kaqura @juliatheanimelover7 @keichanz (I didn’t check who’s been tagged already - sorry - feel free to ignore if you’ve already done it/don’t want to do it!)

#me #personal

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bluesey-182 · 4 years

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We Have To Stop Meeting Like This - Chapter 11

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / ao3

in case you missed it, i did post an update yesterday so click to link to 10 or to the fic on ao3 to read it :)

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Morning came at a harsh awakening when, besides Jude, Cardan woke with a shout. Jude was instantly alert, looking around the room for any threats while unconsciously grabbing onto Cardan’s hand. When she turned her attention back to him, there was a glazed sort of look in his eyes. Like he wasn’t fully awake, or fully aware.

“Cardan?” Jude croaked, her voice still finding its way back to her after sleep.

“Nightmare,” was Cardan’s only reply. He flopped back down onto the bed and curled onto his side, wrapping his arm around Jude’s waist and gently guiding her back down beside him. She threaded her fingers through his mussed up hair in an attempt to calm the shaking of his body.

“He died yesterday,” Cardan choked, so quiet she almost didn’t hear him. But her hands stilled. Cold ice washed its way through her veins.

“Who died?”

“My brother. Balekin. There was a car accident.”

“Isn’t he the one--?” Jude began to ask but cut off. Isn’t he the one that abused you? didn’t really seem like a question you could ask someone.

Nevertheless, Cardan knew where she was going with the question. “Yeah,” he replied. His voice sounded hollow, like everything inside him had been carved out. Jude didn’t really know what to say. I’m sorry? Is that what you said when someone’s abusive brother died? Jude knew better than anyone how complicated family relationships could be yet she still found herself at a loss for words.

“My sisters are arranging the funeral. My dad won’t talk to anyone. It’s all so fucked,” Cardan said. “And I don’t even know why I’m so fucking upset. Balekin was a dick, he made my life hell, but he was my fucking brother, you know?”

“You can miss someone who hurt you,” Jude replied softly.

“Yeah. I guess.”

“What… what can I do?”

“Can you just…,” Cardan trailed off, as if not sure if he should continue.

“Just what?”

He sounded defeated when he whispered, “Stay with me.”

Jude gently squeezed him and he seemed to further melt into her embrace. “I’m not going anywhere.”

They missed classes. Cardan mostly slept. Jude took to wearing Cardan’s t-shirts and workout shorts when her own set of clothes became too dirty to wear. For a week they isolated themselves in his apartment, ordering in food, watching movies in his room that he barely paid attention to. After the first few days, Jude would coax him out of bed for a few hours to watch television in the living room or play video games that he beat her at every time, even though he was barely there to play them. Cardan had become a shell of himself. He only drank water when Jude asked him to, only ate small amounts of food when she offered him a plate. But despite how he’d seemed to crawl away into himself, Jude knew he was grateful for her being there. She could tell it in the way he would grab for her hand and hold onto it like a lifeline. She could tell it in the way he would just look at her for several seconds while he ignored the TV. She could tell it in the way he kissed her without a word.

When the day of the funeral came, Jude woke up to find Cardan sitting at the foot of the bed in the middle of the night. She crawled over to him, the shirt she had borrowed from him riding up passed her thighs, which caught Cardan’s attention enough for him to place his hand on her exposed thigh as she settled in beside him. But then he leaned his head against hers and began to cry like he had that first night. Jude tucked his head against her chest and tried to make soothing sounds as she held him. When he finally spoke, just to say her name, Jude knew what he was asking before he said it.

So in the morning, when they woke up for good, Cardan got ready for the funeral before driving Jude back home for her to put on a black dress and a pair of flats. He was once again a shell of himself as he drove them to the cemetery, but the whole way there he was gripping her hand like he’d drift off to sea if he let go.

It was a cold morning, promising snow, as they made their way across the expanses of lawn to where a group of mourners stood. A few of Cardan’s sisters came to say hello and give him a hug. They asked Jude for her name but nothing else. The rest of his family ignored him, like he was a ghost at his brother’s funeral.

An old man sat in a chair in the front row and at first Jude thought he might be a grandfather. But when he acknowledged Cardan--barked his name, really--Cardan seemed to deflate even more, shrinking to be as small as he could be despite his height. Reluctantly, he slinked over to the man.

“Father,” he grumbled without making eye contact. Jude felt a small bit of shock at finding out this old man was Cardan’s father, not grandfather. But then she looked around her at the age of his older siblings and knew she should have realized sooner. Cardan shot her a look out of the corner of his eye, a sort of pleading, before motioning ever so slightly with his head that she should go somewhere else. There was shame in his eyes and she knew whatever his father was going to say, he didn’t want Jude to bear witness.

That’s how Jude found herself wandering the cemetery. Lost in thought, she didn’t realize where her feet were taking her until she was almost out of sight of Cardan’s family and standing before two gravestones under an oak tree. Without thinking, Jude found herself leaning against the gravestone behind her as she stared at the ones before her.

She jumped at the feel of a hand on the small of her back but relaxed when Cardan’s mane of black hair came into view. They wordlessly leaned against each other for support as Cardan took in the names on the stones before them.

On the left: Justin Duarte.

On the right: Eva Duarte.

“Your parents?” Cardan asked softly. All Jude could do was nod. “What happened to them?”

Jude gave a small, humorless laugh. “I don’t want to add to your sadness, Cardan.”

“You can tell me.” The hand he had rested on her back slid up to gently cup the back of her head. She felt so small with his hands on her, but she also felt a sense of safety in them. “If you want,” he whispered against her hairline as he gently placed a kiss to her skin. She shivered, and not just from the cold.

“Madoc used to work for the FBI. Well he still does, but this was when he was still just a regular agent and not a director,” she began. Cardan looked confused at the change in subject but let her talk without interrupting. “He and my mom met in college and she got pregnant after graduation. Madoc freaked out and ran off, leaving my mom alone with a baby Vivienne and no money to take care of her. But her best friend, Justin, came to the rescue, as he liked to say, and a year later they were married. A few years later, they had twins. They were happy. We were happy. Vivi looked different from Taryn and I but we never questioned it. After our parents died, we found out that she had known the whole time that she had a different dad, and I don’t know why that, of all things, stuck with me. But it did.

It was family game night and we were all stuffed full of junk food. I don’t even remember what game we were playing. I just remember us laughing while the radio played. And then a song came on that my father loved and he grabbed my mom’s hand and began dancing her around the kitchen while us kids pretended to be disgusted by their love but secretly we were wishing to have that same thing one day.” At this point, tears had begun to fall down Jude’s face, though her voice remained steady. Cardan began stroking circles on her back in comfort.

“You don’t have to finish the story,” he said.

“I want to,” Jude whispered. “I’ve never told anyone this before.”

She cleared her throat and continued, “There was this loud bang at the door. I remember all of us froze. The noise continued, and then suddenly we heard the door come crashing in. My mom’s face was completely drained of color and she told Vivi to take us and hide. There was this little hidden door in the wall that led to a tiny pantry we never used except for in games of hide and seek, and the three of us girls crammed into the space. The last time I saw my dad’s face, he was closing the door on us and saying he loved us.

There was shouting. Some terrible noises. It went on for what felt like a lifetime. And then all the noise stopped and there was some sobbing from the other room that didn’t sound like either of our parents. We were all crying too but Vivi had her hands over Taryn’s and my mouths so we wouldn’t be heard. And then there was more shouting as the police came rushing in. We heard a struggle, a gunshot, and then there was nothing but the police talking to each other and into radios and more cars pulling up outside our house.”

Jude fell silent for a moment, trying to catch her breath as the images came back to her. “See, there was a serial killer going across America at the time. He was delusional, thought he was a werewolf, so on a full moon he’d get high off all kinds of drugs and then break into a house and kill the family inside.”

Cardan sucked in a breath of recognition at the story.

“That night,” Jude said, “he chose my family. The FBI had been tracking him for months. It wasn’t until Madoc showed up to the house that he realized who the victims were. And whose child he found hiding in a cupboard in the kitchen. At that point he had remarried, was trying to have kids with his new wife, and when he saw us he thought it was his second chance to be the father he hadn’t been for Vivi. But Vivi never really forgave him for abandoning our mom in the first place. Madoc led us out of the crime scene, told us to cover our eyes. Vivi made me swear I wouldn’t look.”

“You looked. Didn’t you?” Cardan breathed.

“My parents were… torn apart. And the killer was lying face up on the carpet with a bullet through his skull. I could barely recognize my own home underneath all of the blood.”

“Jude…”

“We went to live with Madoc. He tried to be the perfect father to Vivi despite her hatred for him, but he never seemed to know what to do with Taryn and me. The rest, as they say, is history.” Jude felt like there were no words left in her.

“I’m sorry,” Cardan said softly.

All Jude could do was shrug as Cardan wiped away her tears. “I survived,” she managed in a whisper.

After the funeral was over, they went back to Cardan’s house and collapsed in his bed still wearing their funeral clothes. They wrapped around each other quotation marks and fell asleep with their grief as, outside, snow began to fall.

--------

hope you enjoyed!

@goblinwhoships @hizqueen4life @judexcardanxgreenbriar @pilesofriles @velarian-trash @standbislytherin @darlingod @heyheyheylemonade @cloudy-peonies @ireallyshouldsleeprn

#jurdan #jurdan au #my writing #text post #okay to reblog #the cruel prince #the wicked king #the folk of the air

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riot-in-reverie · 4 years

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A day in the life

again a special thanks to @cardan-greenbriar-tcp and once again you should take a look at their page. Amazing writing, kindness, their just a really great person.

this is a continuation of the unnamed one. it is also very short

Chapter four

Today was a hell of a good day. We had an actual breakfast that wasn’t just cereal, Oak did his homework without a fuss, Vivi agreed to have her morning call with Heather outside, it was the perfect temperature outside, and no school which means no faeries.

I had just found out that Taryn had volunteered to help decorate the dance I had no idea the school was having so I quickly declared I was going on a jog before she could ask me to help.

I tied my hair up in a high ponytail, threw on some running shorts and a tank top that said “I exercise because punching people is frowned upon''. Madoc bought it for me. I kinda liked it but I pretend I didn't. I started running my usual route through the neighborhood into downtown but as I was halfway through the neighborhood I passed the playground and noticed what seemed to be a kid. They seemed to be upset about something. I debated what to do but then ended up doing the right thing and heading over. The kid was on the ground sniffilng. I knelt down so I was more their height and tried to ask them what's wrong only to be met with more sobs. How am I supposed to help if I don’t know what's wrong! Jeez kid suck it up. I was about to use my stern voice. The voice I use with Oak when he misbehaves, when I felt two sharp blows. One to the back of my head and one to my lower back. Before I knew it I was on the ground next to the kid.

“What the hell” I mumbled as I tried to get back up but was pinned down by strong arms. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the kid run away with no tears whatsoever. A trap of course. God how could i have been so stupid! Why did I decide to be nice? I felt myself being flipped over and see that my assailant was none other than Valerian. He sneered at me and nodded to the left to a place I couldn't see but I could hear footsteps coming from it.

“What the hell do you want Valerian?”

“You made us look like fools”

“That doesn’t answer my question”

“You mortals underestimate us. There is no limit to what we can do to you”

“It’s impossible to underestimate you”

“Save that smart mouth for later” a light high pitched voice came from the left and into view came Narcisa holding a...oh no… a faerie fruit.

I started kicking my feet frantically “Let me go. Go pick on someone else!”

Then I saw my saviour Cardan who was looking over Narcisa’s shoulder. I remember what he said in the jewelry store “Cardan help me!”

He crossed his arms “why should I help you?”

Did he forget? “Cause you promised! They're bothering me! They're interfering with my Life!"

“But we’re not in school now are we?” Cardan said, crossing his arms.

Narcisa tossed the apple from hand to hand and I think I said every curse word that had ever been known to mankind before she stuck that goddamn apple in my mouth and forced me to take a bite. Only then did Valerian let me go.

I felt a wave of pure joy wash over me. Warmth and sunshine. The most beautiful music. What is everyone so angry about. This is so great. Everything was so perfect for about a second before I realised what had happened. Anger joined with the joy and I stared up at the trio with a death glare.

“What should we make her do?” Valerian asked standing up. Watching me lay contentedly on the woodchips of the playground.

“Hmm tell me how great I am”. Narcisa said with a grin.

Words came out that I had absolutely no control over. I didn’t even know what I was saying just that I couldn’t stop it. I remember comparing her to the sea and the stars but I can’t remember exactly why. I didn't want to. But whatever I said to her she seemed awfully pleased.

Valerian chuckled. "Cardan you want to try?"

Cardan looked at me and I sat up. I hated him so much. He was so awful I wanted to hurt him. But at the same time he was just so wonderful. How could I hate him? He was so amazing. I could kiss him forever. I just smiled up at him in a daze

“Ask her to the dance” Valerian suggested

“Huh?’ Cardan replied confused

“Well she’d have no choice but to say yes and so you have an assured date to the dance and you can cast her aside when you find someone else”

“I suppose…”

Narcissa seemed less than pleased but didn't bother to say anything. Cardan shifted on his feet “Jude do you want to go to the school dance with me?”

I bet he was an amazing dancer, I wonder what it would be like to go to the dance with him. Did he just ask me? Yes I would. Wouldn’t I? But I don’t like him but I do…

“Okay” I said quietly

“Alright.” Cardan said at equal volume. “Come on let's go” he said to Valerian and Narcissa and started walking away looking uncomfortable, the other two followed behind him with smiles on their faces.

The next few things happened in a blur. I remember shouting and feeling weightless and Vivi appearing out of nowhere and before I knew it I was on my couch watching oak play on the rug unaware that I had just agreed to go out with one of the most despicable beings on the planet

#the cruel prince #the wicked king #the queen of nothing #sorry if this is shit #sorry if this sucks #really short #special thanks

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kyleknight · 4 years

Text

Here’s the transcription of the thanks in the Double Dare lyric booklet.

THANKS:

AWSTEN: Mom and dad, thanks for being cool about me quitting school to be in a band, I know that’s spooky. Y’all are the real MVP’s. Geoff and Otto for basically agreeing to live in a vehicle with me forever. Jawn for my sanity. Ciara because otherwise this album would be a lot angrier, thanks for bringing the sunshine. Benji + Joel for the advice, for trusting me/us and being the best managers/friends. Travis, Andrew, Zakk, Michael, Heather Ann, Gracie, Courtney, Chelly, Heather, Emilio, Mikey, Francesca, The Internet, Buster, Kesha, Larry Keel, Lizard King, M Night Shyamalan, HEB Orange Juice, God, blueberry pancakes, Satan, wifi, Kellin, clean socks, aesthetic, all the Instagram dogs I follow, cups, Billy, Paul, Dean, lemonade, Sum 41, YouTube, love, Tacos Los Gemelos, all the nice Kinkos employees who hooked me up with extra flyers for promoting, Netflix, all my favorite cereals, Ciara again, showers, my kitty Jet, Warehouse Live, sunscreen, big sunglasses, Kanye, gogurt and you. Without you getting this CD I couldn’t afford to grow my collection of rare golden airplanes and white tigers. Really though, thanks for everything.

GEOFF: I would like to thank Amy Dove (My mother) for bringing me into this world and for inspiring me everyday to become a better person. Rest in peace. Geoff Wigington (My father) for always being there when things were tough and raising my sisters and I by yourself. I would also like to thank Awsten Knight and Otto Wood for hanging in there with me over the lase few years. Things have been hard but we hung in there and now we are releasing our first album together<3 As well as in no specific order, Francesca Caldara, and everyone at Equal Vision Records. Benji, Joel, and Josh Madden for making all of this possible. Courtney Ballard for always pushing us to take chances. Everyone at MDDN. My sisters Rebecca Humphries and Sarah Lilley. Along with my Brother-in-Laws, Timothy Humphries and Dustin Lilley. Amy Birdwell, Miriam Orellana, Omar Vinegar, Cameron Gore, Taryn McLeod, Jawn Rocha, the Knight & Wood families and anyone who has been there pushing us and helping us from the beginning onward. Thank you so much. Love you guys!

OTTO: Darn near everyone! Specifically, I would like to thank both of my amazing parents, Rick & Patrice Wood | My delightful sister, Hollis Wood, as well as the rest of my incredible family for ALL of their overwhelming love and encouragement | My wonderful girlfriend, Gracie Marie, for her unbounded kindness and affection as well as her unconditional support | DOCTOR Mike Allen | My friends and bandmates, Awsten & Geoff. Y'all are alright | Benji Madden | Joel Madden | Josh Madden | Courtney Ballard and everyone at MDDN | Francesca Caldara and everyone at Equal Vision Records | All of you lovely listeners and rowdy showgoers | Lastly, I am acutely aware that I have been blessed with such a rare and remarkable opportunity. To be able to create and perform for all of you is something that I'm infinitely grateful for... SO— to everyone and everything that has given me the honor of doing what I love on a daily basis, please know that you have also given me peace of mind and a happy heart. For that, I can't thank you enough... but I'll certainly try my best...THANK YOU!!! Alright. That's enough of me ramblin' on, I suppose. Enjoy the album.

WATERPARKS: All our parents for being cool with your kids not doing the college thing, MDDN for working as hard for all of us as we do and making this album come to life, Francesca and Equal Vision Records for signing a band that rides unicorns and talks about wieners too much, Tacos Los Gemelos for being our fuel before, during and after band practices at Awsten's parents house, Good Charlotte, Starbucks and Zakk for keeping us alive, Kyle Black, El Patio Inn for sucking, everyone in Houston who held us down until everyone else came around, infinite love at y'all. And last but not least, thank you for being a fucking babe and getting this album. Thank you. LIZARD KING BLESS.

#waterparks #double dare #awsten knight #geoff wigington #otto wood #bro all those thanks to ciara hurted. also fuck equal vision #otto talks so much its endearing and he didnt use commas and periods hahah

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binnieseason · 5 years

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hello!! so a few days ago i reached another milestone which is,, p crazy!! i’m v thankful for everyone who has like,, just?? taken time out to interact or look at my content. it means a lot n reading peoples’ tags on my posts is just so!! lovely bc everyone is so nice n sweet n i rlly appreciate it!! so thank u for making me feel special n for validating me i hope u all know that i love u all n u have made me v happy n i can’t believe that 2k+ people want to?? see stuff i post?? what?? anyway!! i hope i didn’t leave anyone out but i’ve tagged my mutuals n bolded some who i’m gonna leave a special message for at the end!! look for the emoji i put at the end of ur tag for ur message 💕✨once again, thank u to anyone and everyone who has ever looked at my dumb blog or said smth nice or has sent me sweet asks. i truly appreciate it so much and i hope u all know i love u 💓💫

#-c

@01mino @19gf @1hyunlix @3noracha @3rachaz @97kwj @abangchan @abcdskz 🌹@banqchanz @binsual 🍊@blushyunjins 🌻@chanbffie @chang-bean @changbeanie @changbinn @popechangbin 🌿@changbln 🦋@changlixie @chanjisung @channie @cheelix 🐳 @cheetomin @chiddie @chimneycloud ☂️@chrsbng d-l

@dayy6 @douxminho @geminijimini @gotosleepchris @han-and-kai @hanones @hcnlix @hjsracha @honeylixs @hoodiehan @huiracha @hyucafe 💕 @hyuwujin @jal-hago-isseo ❣️ @jeonginsdimple @jinlix 🧡 @jinnielovebot @jisquish @jisung1e 🌼@jisungeth @jjaebeom @joengins @jypstraykids ☘️ @kim-woojins @kkamist @leefelixz @leeknows @lixseu @lovwheel @luvknow @lxx-fxlix

m-y

@minhoie @minhostrology @minkiwans @naegahoshsvt 💙@pillix @prodskz @risingsan @seungmies @seungminsmile @seungmqn @shortminho @skzbc @skzd @spearbe @spearones @stray--kings @stray-kids @stray-moon @straykids01 @straymemes @thegoodkindoftrash @theminho 💜@thiscaratwillstay @threeracha @ult-minho @ultscb 🌸@uwulix @wlwleefelix @yngbok 🌹; lyka!! bub,, u have no idea how much i love n appreciate u. u have been so lovely to me always n i’m sending u so many hugs bc u deserve them all. ur gifs are always gorgeous n ur tags are the cutest n i love you lots n hope u know how much i appreciate u and ur presence in my life n in this fandom 💌❣️ 🍊; ana!! u are the SWEETEST n idk what i did to deserve u giving me lov n stuff :(( i love u lots n i’m always wishing u the best bc u deserve nothing but love n happiness. ilu ✨ 🌻; lea!! hi hello thank u for always supporting me when i decide to make another sideblog sdjkjsfjk (even tho u should be discouraging it fsdjkfdjk). ur rlly the sweetest n i really appreciate everything u bring to my dash n this fandom ilu!! 🌿; bella!! u were one of my first pals on this site and i’m so appreciative of u. ur lovely and ur so funny n kind n i hope u know how special u are and how much u lighten up my dash 💖💫love u!! 🦋; amy!! first of all ur so funny and cool and i’m INTIMIDATED by cool u are. u do ur own thing n i think that’s amazing!! plus,, i’ll never forget the time where u rb’d my changbin gif everyday FSJKFDJK. i love u so much and i really hope u know how wonderful and appreciated u are bb. plus ur a leo n that’s the most valid sign so there’s that 😔👊🏻n/e way ilu 💞 🐳; cheese!! my bal!! i love u so much u superb little dude,,, even tho u clown me for my accent :// ur literally the FUNNIEST. u have made me laugh so hard so many times i can’t believe that u really be that hilarious???? will NEVER forget that photo u sent that broke me. love u so much u funky cheese kid 😔💘 ☂️; kashi!! did u know that u are the loveliest person 2 exist?? n that ur writing is so gorgeous n i’m so envious that u can just,,, write stuff that is so!! stunning?? n u are my #1 hypewoman so it’s time for me to hype u up: ur so talented n sweet n amazing n everytime u send me cute asks it instantly makes me feel!! the best!! u are such a lovely presence and deserve the whole world and more. love u bub 🤧💓

💕; jan!!!! my bal,,,, my personal clown,,,, the biggest hyuck enthusiast,,,, i love u so much. ur SO funny n real and i love that. also u send the bals lots of memes so i appreciate that thank u sm. ur really the funniest ilysm thank u for being my bal 🤧❣️ ❣️; ellie!! hello hello i know we haven’t interacted a lot but i hope u know that i rlly lov seeing u in my notifs n we are all lucky to have such a sweetheart in the fandom 🤧lov u !! 💕 🧡; kelly!! i need u to know that ur SO SWEET N CUTE. like,, what is it like being that lovely n kind n wonderful?? plus!! ur a bundle of talent and when u deny it i am ready to fight u on it okay. ur talented n sweet and i don’t deserve u 🤧💞ilu!! 🌼; lulu!! hi hi i think ur rlly cool n funny n i love seeing u on my dash!! plus,, ur a fellow aussie which instantly makes u my pal okay okay. i know we haven’t interacted much but i jus,, wanna tell u that i appreciate u n think ur wonderful 💫lov u!! ☘️; vale!! did u know i love u to bits and think u are mega talented n sweet?? like ur gifs are gorgeous and ur SO talented u gotta trust me. and ur always so supportive of me and my content and ur tags are always ????? so sweet wtf???? n/e way ur so special n talented and i want u know that ur so lovely n wonderful and u deserve ALL the happiness and love. lov u, u talented little bub 😔❣️ 💙; rick!! suck my ass!! jk lov u and i said i would include u so here u go baby boy. tell aki and ur new cat,, big chungus,, that i love them. love u sweet prince 😔🤙🏻 💜; bub!! hello!! i wanna tell u that ur amazing n that ur gifs are amazing and that u are wonderful n so sweet. ur tags are always so cute dsjkkj and i really appreciate all the nice stuff u say abt my gifs n stuff. please keep doing what ur doing bc ur content is gorgeous and ur lovely 💖 lov u!! 🌸; taryn!! i NEED u to know that ur colouring saved me. like,,,, whenever i see ur gifs i’m just!! in awe. how do u do that!! bls,,, how are they all stunning. but yes yes ik our interactions are v few,, but i really love ur presence on my dash n ur so talented and nice and funny and i want u know that ily 💌🌹 okay okay ik this is long,, thank u everyone i’m truly so appreciative :(( 💓

#sorry this is so long!!#but thank u all im so glad to have met all these lovely people on here #i hope u all know how much ilu #btw i didnt read over this so if its a mess... thats why #n also just bc im a mess in general #💕💘💖💗💞💝#follow forever

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nightcourtcass · 5 years

Text

Lie to me.

My fingers grip into his shirt, bottoms slightly amiss as if he didn’t even think about it while throwing it over. I feel as if I am burning, drowning and flying at the same time. “Cardan.“

“Lie to me,” he murmurs, quietly enough that I can barely hear him. “Lie to me and tell me you love me.”

I shake my head. “I can’t.”

plays months after The Wicked King, so there might be Spoilers

_____________________________________

A hard knock on wood destroys my sleep in the most dangerous way. I don’t make an effort to get off the couch, pretending that my life is going great. That is my latest hobby, apparently.

Pretending to be somewhere else has never been this easy before.

Not when I can roll around in bed while watching my favourite cartoons and eating ice cream without anyone telling me that I have to stop.

Not when I can close my eyes, the smell of bubble gum and chocolate cake in my noise, the constant reminders that I am truly back in the human world. A world which is mine and at the same time not. Not truly, when I still don’t really understand how college enrolment takes place or how long it is appropriate to stare at someone jogging in trainers. I thought that the human world was part of me but through the course of the last months it turned out that I don’t really belong to it anymore.

Truth to be told, I do not belong to any world anymore. And it makes me feel so alone that I cry myself to sleep every night.

Pretending to be somewhere else has never been this hard before.

Not when I hear his words over and over again, every time that I am consumed by the quietness of my new home. He tells me that he hates me in my dreams, that he wants me and I cannot say anything back.

Not when I cannot close my eyes without seeing him in front of me. Part of me hopes that I will eventually forget his features, forget how his eyebrow slightly wanders upwards when he is curious about something, forget the tugging smile at his lips when he thought that I wouldn’t see him, forget his dark eyes piercing into mine, the constant promise of danger, cruelty and something else that I still cannot put into words yet.

A second knock rattles through the living room which is way bigger than it should be, considering that there are just for of us living in this house. My sister Vivienne, our little brother Oak and my sister’s girlfriend Heather who has come into terms with the fact that nothing is normal in our lives. There used to be another sister, Taryn, but I haven’t heard of her, not since she decided to betray us. I don’t know if I even want to hear from her, considering that she doesn’t exist in this pretend world of mine where everything is going great.

“There is someone at the door,” I scream as the knocking destroys every chance of mine to crawl back into my newly made reality.

When no one answers, I realize that I am the only one left in the house. Heather is working at the bakery while Vivi is on her way to pick up Oak from school. They probably will all be gone for a while, considering that my older sister cannot say no to any of the little prince’s request and he is very keen to do cart racing after school. Yesterday it had been my turn to challenge him at the racing track and I had been totally overwhelmed with the pedals, another realization that I am not made for the human world.

The knocking turns into a storm, fists willingly bashing into the wooden door as if they want to fight it.

Sighing I get up from the couch and make my way through the way too large hallway. The wooden floor feels familiar, one of the only constant attributes that can be found not only in Fairie but also in the human world. In the hours that I miss my old life, I walk through the house, again and again, eyes closed, barefoot to be able to feel the wood under my feet.

“Human use doorbells,” I groan as I rip the door open just to be met with a pair of dark eyes that haunt me every night in my dreams.

Cardan presses air out of his lungs. “I am not human.”

I expected to be angry if I would ever see his face again. I thought I would be furious, holding onto the desire to hit him in the gut as I have imagined so many times. I expected to draw my sword, pressing it against his throat, hopefully seeing his eyes widen in horror.

But I don’t feel angry while I let my eyes run over him. I don’t feel anything at all. And somehow, that is even worse.

“What are you doing here?” I ask. Suddenly I feel so out of place, with the pink woollen socks and the pyjama that has a someone named Princess Elsa printed on it, some kind of cartoon that Oak is addicted to at the moment. I have promised my brother to watch it with him but I didn’t yet.

Not when all I can do is to sit quietly on the sofa and mourn a life that could have been mine while it feels like Cardans eyes are watching me all the time. The eyes of the boy who fooled me to marry him just so that I could be humiliated in the cruellest way possible. He stole my home and even worse, part of me is quite sure that he stole my heart as well.

“What are you doing here, husband?” I ask again, hoping that he can hear the mockery behind the words. I am not sure if he can, considering that fairies never really had to learn to understand it.

“I needed to see you.”

I snort. “Well, you saw me. That means you can go know.”

When I try to close the door, hammer it right into his face, he is fast enough to stop me from it. Part of me is impressed against my will because the last time that I saw him he would have never been able to overcome me in speed. I have been training all my life while he never took his lessons seriously. Either he has been practising a lot or I have been getting out of form. Probably the latter because I cannot even remember when I last touched a weapon. I didn’t see any sense behind it, not when my skills wouldn’t get me anywhere in the human world. Not here, where Cardan banned me by force.

“Jude, dear,” he says slowly and I hate myself for the way my heart beats just a bit faster.

“Don’t you dare to call me that.”

His mouth twitches a bit, not really noticeable when you don’t know him well. But I do or at least I thought I did. I trusted him against my fears and he betrayed me.

“I think it is time that we talk to each other,” Cardan says.

My mind runs in circles, considering so many things that I want to throw at his head, words soaked with betrayal and hate. I don’t say any of them, spitting out words instead that I wanted him to hear since he sent me away. I need him to hear it, need to be sure that I don’t go crazy.

“You pretended to marry me.” My voice sounds toneless, sucked off of any emotions running through my body.

He slowly raises his fingers into the air as if he wants to touch me. Before I can contemplate if I am going to hit him in the face or kick into his belly if he tries, he lets his hand fall down again. “I didn’t pretend. I married you.”

Marry me. Become Queen of Elfhame. If you agree, I will marry you tonight. Now, even, right here.

The memory hurts, every word hitting into my stomach, burying a knife in my heart, over and over again.

“You married me,” I repeat and suck in a breath of hate. “And then you betrayed me. You married me to get rid of me.”

“I did not, Jude. I didn’t marry you to get rid of you.”

The words spill out of my mouths, being locked up too long. “Yes, you did. You tricked me into marrying you, into getting you out of the bargain. You betrayed me so you could throw me out of Fairie.”

“I did not betray you so I could get rid of you,” Cardan says slowly as if the words are tasting bitter on his lips.

With a shake of my head, I lean against the open door, the only things separating the flat from the outside world where my personal nightmare awaits me with dark eyes, hard cheekbones and hair that felt so soft between my fingers the last time that I touched it. Now I wish that I burned it down. “I don’t believe you.”

“I cannot lie,” Cardan says, his mouth twitching upwards in amusement. I wish that I could hit him right now. “Remember?”

As if I could ever stop remembering it. I remember everything about Fairie. The cruel way of their being, their plays and intrigues and enjoyment in seeing me suffer. I will never ever get rid of the memories and I don’t want to either. Not when they remind me why I hate his world. And maybe him.

“You can twist the truth.”

“But I am not doing it right now. I swear.” Cardan comes a step closer, still letting enough space between us that I can see the lights dancing in his eyes. He is so otherworldly beautiful that it hurts to look at him.

“Then why did you do it?” I ask, part of me being curious about his explanation. I tried to figure out his reasons for months, tried to understand if he really hated me that much and even though he really isn’t the person I should trust, this is the only chance I get to get an explanation of any kind.

“I needed to establish power. A king can just rule if the Folk’s belief in the crown is strong.” Cardan inhales loudly and for the first time since he appeared at the doorstep, he stops looking at me. “Also, I wanted to keep you safe. Because I cannot even bear the thought of something happening at you. So I wanted you gone until I gained enough power to be able to protect you. Even if it nearly killed me every minute that I was apart of you.”

I stare at him while words rush through my ears.

I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.

Marry me.

Most of all, I hate you because I think of you.

“If that was your attempt to keep me safe, then you failed miserably,” I countered, still not sure what to make out of his words.

He grins slightly. “I see you breathing and alive, so I definitely didn’t fail.”

“I can keep myself safe.” It is the first time today that I really scream at him and I feel good when I see that he startles. It makes me gain back a bit of the power that he robbed of me. “I was safe and I was queen. I know how the power play works and I could have managed it. Hell, we could have played it together, being vicious while crushing everyone. But instead you banned me, betrayed me and I have been stuck in this world where I don’t belong to anymore for months.”

“You could have come back,” Cardan rages, his eyes burning like eyes. “I expected you to come back. I wished for it every day and you didn’t.”

I stare at him, not quite sure what to make out of his words. “You banned me,” I finally remind him, the words playing over and over in my thoughts.

I exile Jude Duarte to the mortal world. Until and unless she is pardoned by the crown, let her not step one foot in Fairie or forfeit her life.

Betrayal never tasted so bitter on my lips before. Not when I had finally thought that maybe we had a chance together.

“I exile Jude Duarte to the mortal world. Until and unless she is pardoned by the crown, let her not step one foot in Fairie or forfeit her life,” Cardan speaks the world flying through my head, as in attempt to cruelly bore them even further into my mind. “Don’t you understand them?”

“I understand damn well,” I mutter.

„No, I don’t think you do. I left a loophole in there. I thought you would see it.” He looks at me expectantly as if he really thought I would be pleased with him. “You can be pardoned by the crown.”

It feels like being in school all over again while he and his cruel friends had nothing better to do than to make sure that my life was as miserable as possible.

“Are you going to mock me all day long, Cardan? What do I have to do for you to finally disappear?”

I look into his eyes and wish that I could hate him. But all I can hate is that I really cannot hate him at all. Not even after all that he has done.

“You married me, Jude. You are my Queen,” he whispers and I am not sure if I have ever heard his voice so soft. So vulnerable. “You are my Queen, therefore you are the crown. You could have come back every day.”

I stare at him, still not sure if this is another one of his cruel games. “Why the fuck didn’t you just tell me? Why play these sick mind games?”

He chuckles. “Why the fuck?”

“Human saying” I glare, not really in the mood for teasing. “I had a lot of time to get accommodated to them. You know, after you banned me from my home without fucking telling me that you just did it for show. If I even believe that. Why didn’t you just tell me about your plan?”

“As if you ever told me about your plans,” he counters.

This time my fist really flies in the direction of his face, but before I can properly hit him, he catches it with his hand. Suddenly, I am pressed against his body, overly aware of every bit that touches him.

“Forgive me, dear Jude, “ he whispers against my ear, sending creeps over every inch of my skin. “Please forgive me?”

All I can do is stare at him, too stunned to even form proper words in my head. His eyes muster mine with longing, piercing into mine as if I am everything that he dreams of. His hair is slightly ruffled as if I am not the only one having troubles to fall asleep at night, haunted by want for a person one should rather not have.

“I am not sure If I can forgive you,” I murmur eventually, still pressed against his body.

His hands slowly reach behind me, pulling me tighter to him, fingers running over my back, my spine, until the halt at my hip, caressing the bit of naked skin between my sweatshirt and pyjama bottom. I shiver but not of cold.

“Do you think you could try, Jude? Do you think that you could forgive me? Preferably in the next hour?”

Suddenly, he looks so young, younger than I ever thought he could. I so often forget that while he is immortal he currently isn’t much older than me. Both of us bearing way too much on our shoulders already, fighting against a world that is everything but kind to us.

“Yes.”

He bites his lip while he looks into my eyes. “You know It is slightly unsettling to know that this can be a lie.”

“Well that is what I do, isn’t it?” I chuckle. “That‘s what humans do. That‘s why you hate us. Tell me that you hate me, Cardan.”

His fingertips press harder against my skin, probably leaving marks and still I won’t protest, enjoying every touch while still hating it all the same.

“I –“

No words fly over his lips, the quietness winning for once.

“I can’t lie,” he finally says.

I grin. „Yeah, we already established that. Fae and all.“

His fingers draw circles over my skin, slightly lifting my shirt. He looks at me with longing but does not move further. All he does is stare at me while I slowly lift my finger over his. When I touch him a sharp breath comes out of his mouth.

“I hate you,” he murmurs, pressing his face against my neck. I burn under his touch. „I hate that I still cannot stop thinking about you. I want you, Jude Duarte. I want you more than anything in the world. I want to love you and argue with you and hold you in my arms while you pretend to sleep. I want every part of you.”

My fingers grip into his shirt, bottoms slightly amiss as if he didn’t even think about it while throwing it over. I feel as if I am burning, drowning and flying at the same time. “Cardan.“

“Lie to me,” he murmurs, quietly enough that I can barely hear him. “Lie to me and tell me you love me.”

I shake my head. “I can’t.”

I can’t tell you that I hate you.

I can’t lie to you that I love you.

I can’t because it would be everything but a lie.

“Please, Jude. I just need to hear it ones before these feelings suffocate me.”

My fingers grip harder into his shirt. He doesn’t move, just looks at me as if I was everything that he wants in life. He doesn’t hide it anymore, he lets the emotions shimmer in his eyes. And while I take a deep breath, I decide that I will jump as well. Maybe we will be able to fly without falling, as long as we hold each other closely enough.

“I love you, Cardan.”

His eyes glisten mischievously and in the next moment, his lips are pressed against mine. The kiss feels like longing, like finally breathing while the world suffocates us. It is rushed and at the same time, it isn’t at all. As if we have all the time of the world. The kiss tastes sweet and wonderful, making my heart explode in my chest.

Carefully, his hands glide over my back, caressing my skin, while Cardan gives me kiss after kiss until we cannot breathe anymore. When we finally part, I laugh breathlessly.

“Was it like you imagined it in your dreams?” I ask him, his arms still holding me tightly.

“No.”

Curiously, I caress his chin until he looks me in the eye. “Care to elaborate?”

“No,” he says again.

“Why? Because it was better than in your dreams?” I tease him.

It is the first time that I see a flush of red running through his head. Until now I always thought that blushing was something that he wasn’t capable of. But now his burning cheeks prove me wrong and I cannot stop grinning.

“It was better than in your dreams,” I laugh.

He presses his lips against my neck. “I dreamt of strangling you, Jude.”

I believe him because I strangled him more than once in my dreams as well. I probably will wish for it in the future again at some point. Cardan and I are everything but easy. We are explosive and one of us will go off eventually, but that doesn’t mean that one cannot start again after the bomb is emptied. And right now we are finally aligned.

“Did you dream of strangling me before or after you dreamt of kissing me?” I wonder.

He grins, cheeks still faintly red and I have never seen anything as beautiful in my life. “It doesn’t matter, does it, dear Jude?”

“I have every right in the world to still hate you. You know that, don’t you?” I ask.

“I know.” He loosens his arms, looking at me wearingly, giving me the choice of dissolving our hug. For a moment I contemplate it, imagine letting go of him, but I leave my arms around his body, holding him close while looking into his eyes.

“But I don’t,” I admit.

“You don’t?”

“I don’t hate you, Cardan,” I say. „No lie this time.“

He smiles and for a moment I am astonished. I thought I had seen him smile before, but I guess I don’t. I never saw him smile this openly, this happily, without any care in the world.

“I love you, Jude Duarte.”

I stare at him. “Say it again?”

“I love you, Jude.” His finger caresses my cheek, so carefully that it feels just like a whisper of wind touching my skin. “I wanted you for ages even when I hated you and I wanted you even more after that. I love you. And I want you to be my Queen. So please come back to Fairie with me. Not only because of power play or scheming and intrigues and because I need you at Court. But because I want you at my side. All the time.”

Air rushes through my lunges while I cannot do anything but stare at him. I think of all the things he told me before, of all the hateful words and sentences felt with love and disgust. I think about Fairie, about all the cruel plays and the crown that he left at his world. I think about the human realm, about this flat. I could probably learn to really live as a human again. I could learn to drive a car and how to apply to college. I could be happy in the human world if I wanted to. But the truth is that I don’t.

I want Fairie, I want power and more than anything I want Cardan.

“I’ll be your queen. I will come back at you,” I say to the boy still holding me in his arms. “I love you.”

He laughs lightly. „No lie?“

„I love you,“ I whisper into his ear. “No lie. Never again.”

Cardan kisses me and I am sure that I will never have to lie again.

His lips taste like forever and I wouldn’t mind.

______________________________

Still couldn’t comprehend The Wicked King’s ending, so I had to write my own headspin about it. I haven’t written in english in forever, so please forgive the mistakes. If you like it, give it a like or reblog or let me know in my ask box. I always like to chat with you guys.

#writing #my writing #twk #twk spoilers #twk writing #tcp #the wicked king #jurdan #cardan #jude #cardan greenbriar #jurdan writing #one shot #jurdan one shot #jude duarte #tfota #the folk of the air

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