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#take it or leave it. one time offer.
flufflecat · 1 year
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Once again feeling annoyed that basically no one in the rrverse fandom acknowledges Apollo. They're always like "oh we need more rep, surely this this and this character is secretly queer and rick just won't admit it or something" when man. Lester's RIGHT there. Why are you ignoring CANON queer content, then acting like it'd be better for the author to retcon some shoehorned queering of straight characters into existence? Like. It's fun to have previously straight characters be changed to be queer, but that obviously wouldn't be the intention the whole time, and it's kind of disingenuous for an author to pretend it was intentional all along and get praised for it. I feel insane, shouting at people who want more lgbt characters in pjo like "LESTER EXISTS AND HES LITERALLY EVERYTHING YOU COULD EVER WANT." Would PERCY ever say he has a "frisson of pleasure go up his back" at the thought of pipers hot dad? No. He wouldn't, thank you very much.
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saintfaulkners · 1 month
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I'm so used to being surrounded by kind and thoughtful neurodivergent people at this point that I've forgotten that sometimes neurodivergency can make us assholes in very specific ways and even though yes there's nothing wrong with us for being "different" and we shouldn't feel ashamed of who we are etc etc it's still kind of also our job to try and not actively hurt other people and then just excuse it with "well I'm autistic/have bpd/xyz so you can't be mad" or "if you don't like me treating you bad you're making me feel like I can't be my true self around you" or something like. I feel like it's very obvious to me because I have The Disorder That Makes Everyone Think You're Shitty so I'm always very aware of trying not to be, but others. not so much I think
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tangledinink · 10 months
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I can imagine the first cycle after moving. Probably Leo because Donnie likely has internal scarring, so leo goes through the process of laying his eggs, panics, his brother can't help, and finally, *finally* they ask for help. It's not willingly. It's not for fun. It's purely necessity. It's purely because there's *literally noone else* and the idea of telling anyone at all is so scary that the way they do so is in a note. Splinter sits them down and basically walks them through "You're safe, you're fine. We can handle this however you feel most comfortable, including getting you both on blockers if you prefer" and they just.... sigh. For the first time, there's *someone else* in their circle, and it's willing and it's warm, and it's *safe*. There will be tears.
Yes, except I'm not convinced that either of them could stand to tell anyone. Even if it was literally life or death (which it has been before,) I'm not sure if either of them could bear to give up that information. Donnie is finally, finally away from the people who hurt him when he got found out last time, and even though logically, he knows that it's different here, he's absolutely petrified of the thought that the same thing will happen again and it won't be over anymore. He's still horrified by the idea of anyone else knowing about Leo when he's gone to such lengths for so long to protect him, and Leo is likewise terrified in the same way. They've spent years with this being their more closely guarded secret, and that's going to be really difficult to give up.
But it's really not a secret they'll be able to keep for long.
They're in a completely different environment, with far less space and privacy. They're both stressed as hell and Donnie WAS on birth control and taking all sorts of vitamins and supplements to make sure he didn't eggbind again and now he's suddenly not and it's not only messing with his body, it's fucking scary. It literally keeps them both up at night. Neither of them know how to wash blood out of clothes or sheets. There's no private en suite bathroom they can sequester themselves away in. They're both literally making themselves sick with anxiety trying to deal with this, and they're used to handling this on their own, this is routine for them, but they're not used to all of this.
They'd probably metaphorically limp through a few cycles before their family puts it together and gently confronts them.
Venus probably figures it out first. She's pretty smart, and incredibly observant, and after all-- she quite literally experiences the exact same thing. April may not lay eggs, but I think she'd be able to get the idea after a bit as well. And while I think Splinter would realize something was wrong pretty quickly, Draxum would probably realize what was wrong first. Splinter has April, so he has a little bit of experience in this realm, but Draxum has Venus and so he has far more experience.
And so when they do sit them down and talk with them, it's going to be really scary at first. And then they get to, "you're safe, you're fine, we can handle this however you feel the most comfortable. It will be okay. No one will hurt you."
And then there's finally other people in the know, in the circle, people who will actually help them. And yes-- there will definitely be tears.
#leo in particular will probably panic at least a little when theyre confronted#because its been what? almost four years?#almost FOUR YEARS of him keeping this a secret at any cost#almost four years with no one else in the universe aside from his twin knowing#and now the spell is broken#but its okay#and they might panic and cry for a little but then they calm down and its... actually ok. things will actually be okay#april will take to big-sistering them so hard#and lowkey just? having venus exist in the household will be incredibly helpful#(she was honestly so baffled that everyone else didnt realize what was going on right away. it wasnt obvious????)#mikey tries to spoil them the same way he tries to spoil venus whenever she feels nasty#(but has to adjust a bit to respect boundaries because. donnie will bite him...)#likewise raph tries to take care of them the same way he'd take care of casey#(ie by leaving offerings at their doors and staying the fuck out of their way. just overall letting them do or have whatever they want)#their family will take care of them and keep them safe and things will get better#its honestly a huge relief when they get caught in some ways because leo can finally be like#and donnie got really sick one time and almost died and im scared itll happen again PLZ can we make sure it doesnt happen again#donnie in the background like >:0000 that leo just fucking OUTTED HIM LIKE THAT#but to leo 1000% worth it if it means donnie wont get sick and die#(as if donnie is actually realistically at any more significant risk of that than leo is)#(quite frankly theyre BOTH at risk of it at the time because of how stressed they are. lowkey a miracle neither of them eggbound yet smh)#also donnie def has internal scarring lmao;;;; poor bab. makes it a bit rough...#menstruation#tw menstruation#cw menstruation#gemini au#asks#anon#csa implied#cw csa implied
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hella1975 · 5 months
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ok so here's the gossip. me and my two friends are going up to brum to see hozier in december, but one girl has been SO nasty to another one of her friends recently and its been pissing us all off. like ok so nasty one is Z, and the one she's being nasty is A. A lives two doors down from Z, and so a lot of the time Z offers lifts back and to from college because its just on the way. However they've never discussed petrol money because Z said there's no point since its on the way. But last week Z OFFERED to give A a lift home and then decided to skip class, and just messaged A being like "went home. Get the bus back" knowing A was in a driving lesson and wouldn't see that until they got back to campus, which is especially fucky because they live in the next town over so the bus is over two hours compared to a 30 minute car drive. then yesterday Z sent a text being like "you owe me this much for the 11 car rides ive given you. I want to be helpful and I enjoy helping people, but i don't like being a taxi." even though she OFFERED and just sprung this on A without ever discussing payment, despite the fact its not even like she's going out of her way because they live TWO DOORS AWAY. and like it isn't only this, Z treats A like a massive punching bag. so where the hozier thing comes in, Z is going with me. however if this bitch pisses me off too much, IM the one who has the tickets and i will literally just give her ticket to someone else. she's the only one who drives and will probably be like "oh you guys can't get down without me" try me bitch
gossip asks have got to be my favourite type of asks like idk how we even got to this point where people regularly tell me about their current personal gossip but i need you to picture me sat with you holding a glass of wine gasping and nodding at the appropriate moments
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quietwingsinthesky · 3 months
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there’s a progression in there, somewhere, of even going from ‘the master might kill me any day now :(‘ to ‘the master is going to kill me :) she’s not going to let someone else do it after all this time’
#i wouldn’t call it hubris exactly. more like this pretty secure surity that that’s how they’re going to die.#and to them that makes sense. they chose this. they keep choosing it after the doctor offers them a way out.#because this is. they understand this. and they feel safe in the reprieve before their death.#how do you control death? choose who kills you. the last defense of a prey animal.#something something dark mirror to clara’s ‘i am owed’ speech for even is if this ever. doesn’t work out the way they thought it would.#clara tried to threaten the doctor so that he’d reverse death for her. even would turn on the master if she tried to spare them.#i am owed better. i am owed the death you promised… i am owed the knowledge that you don’t care enough to save me… you know. something like#that.#even is. kind of. meant to mirror the doctor’s companions at the time. they are a martha who can’t leave him. they are a donna who has to#remember and never speak about everything they know. they are clara if during deep breath clara reached back and truly didn’t expect. truly#hoped. that no one would take her hand. because if they can be certain it will happen they can know never to reach again.#jesus christ. go to therapy boy. you have so many trust issues.#but that’s why they’re Like That with the master because at the end of the day. who is easier to rely on? the guy who comes in to put out#fires but only sometimes. or the guy who. really really fucking likes starting fires.#better to get burned hoping someone is coming or get burned knowing that’s what would happen. and even. chooses the latter.#AND ALL OF THIS. for me to say thats why i cant actually let the master ever kill them.#i think she needs to do something worse to even. i think she needs to abandon them.#and that will either set them free to go have healthy normal relationships or. lets be honest much more likely. completely fucking break#them. which would be fun :) for me.#dw oc
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13eyond13 · 3 months
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shingetsu-online · 4 months
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JWSNHDFWIUEFHUEW AIMZ YOU DONT KNOW SPANISH???? I PITY YOU
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camgoloud · 5 months
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i simply feel that if you burn shit in your roommate’s skillet you should then feel the obligation to be the one who scrapes it out and cleans up
#sometimes i think about the fact that i’m literally the only person who’s cleaned the kitchen in this place for the entire year and a half#i’ve lived here and i get. a little pissed off#i’ve tried being polite and bringing up the problem without explicitly pointing fingers by leaving cleaning products (which i bought)#out on the counters and sending a text in the group chat like ‘hey! 😊 i got these wipes for us! i think that all of us could#use these a little more often so that the kitchen doesn’t get so gross!’ but it seems that everyone either has no sense of shame or just#genuinely doesn’t mind living in filth for the periods between the marathon cleaning sessions i do every few weekends when i have the time#one of the guys who lives downstairs will just walk right by me cleaning up on his way to the fridge and pretend he can’t see me#which is still better than the other one (the one who just burned shit in my skillet) who once saw me cleaning and asked if he could help#and when i got all pleased and asked if he could maybe take the trash out for me while i was cleaning counters (a small and simple task!#when he’d literally asked me if there was anything he could do!) he visibly deflated. said ‘well i’m not really around here much [so it’s#not my trash in there etc.]’ and wandered off. without doing anything#like. HELLO???? you could have just been like the other guy and pretended you didn’t see me doing all the work if this was how you were#going to be about it#but i guess he wanted to feel good about himself having offered/expected me to just say ‘oh no thanks i love being your housekeeper 😊’#tbh i really need to be more assertive and be like ‘hey guys i’m sick of this’ and maybe. bring up the Sexism of it all. because.#you know. the whole situation feels pretty gendered#was complaining about all this to an irl friend the other day and she said i should start a chore chart but i don’t want to be responsible#for maintaining the chore chart either! take on the mental load of managing the housework and also turning into Resident Bitch for asking#men to do things for me. you know. there is simply no way out here#there is another woman who lives here as well but unfortunately i don’t think she’ll be much help in forcing the issue because. she doesn’t#clean shit either!#actually in the days since she moved in the shower drain in our bathroom has become horrendously clogged which. well. i mean not to point#fingers but one of us has got about two inches of hair and the other has got a foot and a half. so#i also simply feel that if you clog a drain you should be the one to unclog it but i’ll probably do that as well#sorry for the massive tag rant by the way i really shouldn’t make myself out to be some kind of martyr because i’m not particularly neat#myself but…. ooooh god if the bar isn’t all the way down in hell#anyway i just did a whole bunch of dishes but i left that one skillet to soak passive-aggressively overnight#i don’t think the aggression will come across though because i think he genuinely won’t even pay attention to the fact that it’s still#dirty and i’ll end up being the one to clean it tomorrow#caseyposting
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faebriel · 6 months
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hgs brainrot has returned due to tbosas .. speaking of hgs here’s an ask abt the hgs au: if things were totally different, and Wilbur were to be a 12 victor, what do you think a possible mentor-tribute dynamic would look like between him & Niki? I feel like it would be similar to Snow & Lucy in the way that he’s just going out of his way to cheat n help her
anon u have in fact struck jackpot because this is a concept i was spinning some thoughts abt before bee mentioned avoxes and we went OOOOH at that!!! so yes i have considered rainduo as a mentor-tribute dynamic and would love to talk about that concept too :]
so for this concept i think wilbur and niki would be close friends throughout childhood from 12, and then in their teens wilbur is reaped and, well, no one has particularly high hopes (he's a writer and a musician at heart, not a fighter) but through sheer trickery and dumb luck, he makes it to the end of the games. wilbur pulled some pretty fucked up tricks to win - when you can't use brute force, you have to use your brain - and partly due to the trauma of the games, partly due to his shame and survivor's guilt, he sinks into the capitol and relishes a new life there as a socialite. to him, the old wilbur died in the games and the new one has taken his place - to niki, and to his other friends in 12, whatever the games did to him made him into every vapid heartless capitol victor there is.
or. niki has her doubts. they all saw how horrible the games were, but surely there is some part of him left, some part that's hurting, even if it's buried deep?
anyway.
like og spin of the au, niki is reaped and this sucks - this time she does expect wilbur as her mentor on the train, and she expects some kind of warm welcome (maybe even an apology for leaving them so suddenly and silently? an explanation?) but she gets jack shit. wilbur is jaded and cruel and unrecognisable and niki entirely hates it. this is the part where i REALLY WISH we got some time of those two beefing with each other directly in canon (or at least interactions while niki was So Mad at him) but it's okay we fly blind. niki feels abandoned, lonely, thrown off of her kilter - she expected an ally in this place, but she doesn't recognise the person wilbur has become. she doesn't recognise his shallowness (...much), his ruthless advice for the arena, the way he doesn't seem to care for anything. she's scared and now she's lonely and it pisses her off - their mentorship is fraught. here are some thoughts from discord on that:
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i tend to think of niki as a bit naïve before l'manberg or even doomsday - i think this is an au where this streak would come out real strong, and niki is stubborn that she can get through the games without losing herself. stubborn that she can stop things, that she can protect people. i don't think wilbur is cold enough (or, really, can bear to say aloud) to say that her odds in the arena are slim enough as it is, but he definitely tells her that she's making enemies and that her odds of survival dwindle with the more trouble she causes.
beyond that... hm. niki's trust in wilbur is almost unshakeable until nov 16, even when she outright says she doesn't recognise him anymore. i think she'd reluctantly listen re: don't burn down any buildings, but she would grow bolder each day she had to stay in the capitol. she gets more honest in front of the cameras. she makes more friends in training, and not the ones wilbur recommends. she throws barbs at him every time he makes one of those callous, cold-hearted comments about other tributes and rankings and odds. and besides, she's going in the arena this time, not him. she needs to practice her bravery.
it's like... she hasn't given up on him. she thinks the old wilbur is in there somewhere. (she is wrong. that is not how trauma works.) but she won't hold her tongue just because she
for extra angst points could definitely play up the whole 'feeling abandoned' angle between them as niki goes into the arena - probably due to how fraught their friendship gets leading up to the games. niki wants to focus on them and their friendship, wilbur has stringently cut off (almost) everything from 12 and refuses to let her in; he tells her to behave for the cameras, she tells him she never will. i think the last point in that screenshot would also make for a super tasty argument where niki feels wilbur has gone astray, that he's abandoned 12, and that he'll probably do nothing but sit on his ass and watch her die and he can't even bring himself to care about her anymore, can he? just more fodder for the arena. and honestly, i think wilbur would passively agree with most of that - he values niki's opinion, after all, even now, and if she says he's rapidly descending into a lost cause then she must be right. and it's niki, so she will be fine, and he goes to his bedroom that night and tries to pretend he is sleeping perfectly fine instead of feeling paralysed with fear.
okay now onto the games - YES HE SO WOULD. or at least i think he would go out of his way to help. as for cheating - he's a recent victor for 12 and i think he would value tommy (no doubt a link to him... i think they'd be in touch in this au also) too much to risk the punishment falling onto him as well. i get the vibes this is a games closer to 74th than 10th, so there are far fewer opportunities to cheat and the consequences of getting caught are higher. but schmoozing up sponsors? making stupid ass radio interviews or whatever to talk up niki's odds? sharing anecdotes from their childhood - some real, some entirely fabricated - across capitol airwaves to stoke their sympathy? 100%. with less to lose in this au, i think niki would be far less inclined to play nice for the cameras - i hope you starve, she spits at one of them, and wilbur appears on a talkshow two days later as she scrambles for survival in the arena to talk up how she always saved loaves from the bakery for the poorest mothers and children in 12. he borrows and begs and swindles to the point where it feels like cheating. but hey, this new wilbur is capitol-branded. he knows how to play the game.
if anything he probably sinks into the game a little too much. self-preservation is not his forte. probably wracks up a few heavy debts and favours to owe, but those are not priority until niki is out of the arena, alive. as long as she wins, and as long as the family he has isn't in danger, he will manage. wow it would suck if at some point those two goals became impossible to co-achieve. anyway
i kind of see niki's victory in the arena being similar to the one in the main au - if only because planning out an entire games is hard for meee >-< . she walks in bolder and braver for sure, and with a less strategic pick of allies, but they all get picked off and she spends a few weeks so terrified she can barely sleep and then she ruptures some fuel line and sets the arena alight with a fire that burns brighter and more ravenously than it should. but she wins, and she's airlifted out of a filthy, muddy creek she had resigned herself to die in, and wilbur barges his way through as many peacekeepers so that he can actually see her with her burnt skin and hair and unfocused eyes and trust that what was on the screens wasn't a fluke, and that they made it. and then it's just a matter of surviving the after.
i'm sure there are some other random quirks or tidbits i can think of re: this take on a c!rainduo hunger games au but these are my base thoughts!!
#can i just say whatever the hell lucy grey n snow had going on in part 1 made me so berko btw. like congrats ur my means to an end youre my#symbol youre my buddy? should we kiss? i'll get you out of here / don't make me leave these people behind#BRIDGING OFF OF THE TBOSAS DISCUSSION. i think the thing with crainduo (or at least how i like to depict them) is that they care about each#other extremely deeply and value each other... without being each others number one priority at all times.#i don't think niki plays priority with people she cares for like that; see her relationships with like wilbur and eret in lmanberg#even her friendship with and offering ponk a place to stay in her city after manberg even tho manberg hurt her#as for wilbur: his priority is tommy. like always. if it was just him on the line he'd do anything to get niki thru but it's not#asks#hunger games au#they would truly be such a nightmare in this au like. wilbur's self loathing is SO HIGH due to survivors guilt and trauma and mental illnes#he thinks that niki is So Good and Has It Together meanwhile he is So Bad#and is a mess that she cannot possibly rely on him. she can't possibly need him. she can't possibly want him around#<- and this shit is INGRAINED like. it's not even an active thought pattern anymore it is carved into his brain like a groove#and so shes like. do you even care whether i live or die??#of course he does. but this is the capitol. he cant be vulnerable in a way that matters#and that alienates niki further and this rage and heartbreak is building in her with nowhere to go. and in the arena she thinks it erupts#nah uh. i think its AFTER the area when she has to face wilbur again that she would go full screaming meltdown#ANYWAY !! i really like aus where they have this friction esp because i think like.. idk i think sometimes our views of rainduo are too ros#wilbur kind of forgets about niki sometimes because his self hatred is that bad. niki doesnt get wilburs mental illness and takes it both a#a burden/blame AND a direct rejection of her and her friendship#and they hover just outside of each others spaces anxious and angry and almost self flagellating. GOOD FOR THEM !#anyway Yes this did unlock something within me. thanks anon feel free to add on if u had more thoughts esp re: tbosas and such bc i had suc#a good time watching that movie
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kozidraws · 9 months
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cryptidwizard · 2 days
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i feel the turtle fixation creeping back up
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corrodedcoughin · 8 months
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I’m absolutely not the person to do it but I feel like there could be such a good steddie Drabble or fic based on spooky by dusty Springfield
The first verse based on how Steve sees Eddie, trying to use his old tactics of playing hard to get when Eddie asks him round to watch the movie he rents from family video. Thinking that if he plays his cards right he might finally get Eddie’s attention. Unsure of how to go about it any other way but absolutely knows with certainty that nobody else is going to compare to the strange and endearing guy who’s had Steve’s attention for far longer than either of them realise.
(But the thing is Dustin told Eddie all of the flirting advice Steve tried to pass on. So when Steve changes his initial ‘no’ to an ‘alright’ with a smirk eddie thinks and hopes and prays he might be in with a chance)
The second verse is Eddie watching steve at work and day to day. Completely unsure of how to take the ex-mr popular, convinced that he’s flirting with everybody that comes into his vicinity and it’s either through mercy or for his sins that Eddie is catching the strays. In two minds about what dustin said, is this part of Steve’s game or is it real? But this time when Eddie gets lost in those spiralling thoughts, Steve grabs his hand and smiles at him. Eddie’s flurry of doubt stops and all he sees is the contradiction of Steve with his neck scar and polo shirts.
Love is kinda crazy with a spooky little boy like you 🎶
#third verse is them FINALYL getting their heads out of the sand and DOING something#both of them pining stupid hours over each other#.Robin is SICK of it#she needs Steve to be back at capacity to help her plan her Halloween costume so Vickie will be swept away by the intensity of his feelings#she’d be happy for Steve if he just stopped stalling and went for it#there’s only room#for ONE hopelessly in love platonic soulmate at a time and steves had long enough#corroded coffin are at a loss. Gareth has his head in his drum kit and asks Jeff to slam it as soon as Eddie starts on his Steve rant#Jeff obliges because he’s a kind soul and is actually using Eddie’s rants as ammo for the eventual best man speach he knows he’ll have to#give at the munson harrington wedding because Jeff believes in love okay!!#Gareth is a rage filled rat boy (affectionate) and Jeff is the kind chinchilla#freak (Ian to ME) just keeps going on with the practice because he actually wants to get better he’s a capybara#yes thank you for seeing cc are rodent based#Eddie is unfortunately a pangolin#listen I don’t claim to be a writer don’t judge me#there’s better people to read I’m just throwing riffing ideas out there#I’m offering free samples#I’m giving out spare change#take it and leave me#stranger things#eddie munson#steddie#steve harrington#it’s a VERY fun song to Steddie-fry#*….steddiefy#and yes wayne wishes eddie would stop playing it. Wayne loves dusty and Eddie is making him#reconsider his love#poor wayne
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absensia-archived · 1 year
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CHARLOTTE + FRUIT 🍓
charlotte loves to eat fruit. her all - time favourite are strawberries, but she also loves oranges, mandarins, grapefruits, cantaloupe, honey dew, kiwis, peaches, and nectarines. charlotte will often buy fruits whenever she has the opportunity to do so. if she doesn't have any place to store the fruit or a chance to get the fruits home and into a refrigerator, she will simply eat them immediately. it is not uncommon to see charlotte cradling a basket of strawberries or blueberries in her arms, or with a fruit in her hand. like with all her foods, charlotte enjoys sharing whatever fruit she’s recently purchased. more than anything else, charlotte will often buy people fruit as a small gift.
for charlotte, FRUIT IS A LUXURY. fruit wasn’t always something she could afford. it was often something she would steal just to have as something to eat. more than that, buying fruit likely means having somewhere to store it so that it will not go bad quickly and be wasted. this was also not always the case of charlotte. therefore, fruit became something of a special treat in charlotte’s mind: something she enjoyed immensely for their freshness and tastes, but could only have when she had enough money not to spent on something more substantial or resistant to spoiling. even though she can usually readily afford to buy fresh and good quality fruits now, she holds onto this mindset of it being something of a luxury. to her, fruit is precious.
charlotte is not picky about the places she buys fruit from — if it looks good and the price is reasonable, she’s alright with it. she’ll buy from grocery stores, both small and large, from stall vendors, at farmer market’s, etc.
lastly, here are some connections between charlotte and fruit on a narrative level:
fruit are perishable, easily bruised, and, in some cases, quick to spoil. SO IS CHARLOTTE.
fruit can be deceiving in their appearance. how many times have you bought fruit thinking it looked good only to cut it open or bite into it to find it is sour, rotten, or not at all sweet? on the flip side: how often have you avoided buying the poor looking fruits only to learn later that the fruits may look bad, but are actually very sweet? charlotte doesn't always look the way she actually is.
some people insist on the idea that many fruits appear naturally made for sharing. think of mandarins, which divide neatly into pieces, or watermelons, which could feed a family like a meal. even fruits which are smaller, like grapes and strawberries, often come in large batches so that they may be enjoyed by one person for a long time or by multiple people for a short time. this idea of sharing goes hand - in - hand with charlotte’s predilection for making connections.
as a final thought, there is a more morbid connection between charlotte, her origins, and the manner in which, as a vessel, she is often consumed in her own chaos. fruits are meant to be bitten into, split open, and cut apart to be enjoyed. charlotte's form and flesh, like fruit and both at the time of assembly and during her existence here, is often pressed and prodded to check for quality, split open, cut apart into fragments but not to kill her - rather, to make her easier to consume. . . that is, easier to slip into the minds and imagination. something sweet, something a little bitter, something to stay.
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anthromimicry · 14 days
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where do you carry your pain?
your arms.
you have tried to hold onto what is dear to you, only for it to be wrenched from your hands...
tagged by: @divingdownthehole!
tagging: @frostise, @redvived, @dispatched, @twcfaces, @vulpesse, and anyone else who might like to do this quiz!
#ALL POWER DEMANDS PAIN AND SACRIFICE: musings.#rp memes.#oof... WELL. this one hurt a little JSJSJS#i mean the two people that misao loved more than ANYTHING ( her mother && her half-brother ) were both taken from in a way.#so i'd say this is pretty accurate NGL. i mean kaiyah misao's mother was forcibly taken from her by a hunter-#and she loved her SOOO much even despite all of the complexities within their relationship. thus misao would-#pretty much give anything to have her back tbh and with ryuuji or misao's half brother-#she feels as if he was taken from her by her own hand because misao felt all of this PRESSURE and responsibility to take care of him-#y'know? though misao knows that it wasn't kaiyah's fault of course that she couldn't take care of him that well. however regardless of-#whether it was or not it led her to feel like she DESPERATELY wanted to run away from her situation the more time went on-#and whenever kaiyah died that was kind of the straw that broke the camels back for her i think. like she couldn't-#deal with anything at that time and misao felt like she just HAD to leave even though she had someone depending on her.#and as a result she felt like she stripped both ryuuji of a good childhood + herself of a good relationship-#with her half-brother and it was all her fault. like if only she had been stronger then she could've stayed with him-#but she wasn't and misao honestly agonizes over that fact even though the situation is much more complicated-#than it being her fault because of everything that she was going through. and by that i mean the amount of despair-#she felt was IMMEASUREABLE + her emotional needs were not met so misao not knowing what to do when faced-#with a crisis as bad as your mother dying in front of you is honestly kind of understandable. so yeahhh#i feel like misao could really use a hug TBH but she probably wouldn't accept it even if someone offered one to her ):
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chelseasdagger · 3 months
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i just saw the most beautiful act of love. gonna be sappy in the tags real quick :’)
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medicinemane · 23 days
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#I get tired of people trying to explain what lens I should view the world through; what way I could think that would make everything better#forgive me but I don't care; I do what I do and I do what I can and you don't see the work I do under the hood#I don't want advice on self validation or whatever; I want... I want someone to hold a mirror up so I can actually see myself#by which I mean I want input on how I'm doing; if it's good enough; if it's worth anything; if anything I make is good#everyone things I'm nice; everyone has always thought I'm nice#but given nice leaves me profoundly isolated I don't think I care#not to mention in my opinion what nice in this instance means is that I'm capable of listening#it's mostly that I have manners rather than some quality about me#I'm well behaved and polite and can listen; and that's perceived as nice or even sweet#and it's not like I'm offended by people seeing me that way; but maybe you can get why... I can't do anything with that information#but if I'm doing enough... if I provide any value to the world... I might have heard that less times in my life than years I've lived#that's where I'm totally blind#people don't tend to offer any input; and also people don't tend to let me know what they're thinking#and I in fact am not a mind reader; I can often accurately infer things; but no of that means a thing till it's confirmed#and... well... hopefully no one reads the stupid shit I say and especially not the tags so this is safe and hidden#but truthfully people just like to hear that stuff they're doing is wanted and matters#and I do not#I don't know... gotta go do more cleaning cause I need to#and I have no idea if... I've got a reason for fighting so hard to clean; but I get very little input so... I expect... well...#and thankfully I don't think they read my tags so I can say this#but I really expect they won't take me up on my offer to come out here and get away from their parents; so there will be no pay off#not that I blame them in the slightest... it's just the only possible pay off for this cleaning would be helping someone I like out#and a scrap of company#but then again... in many ways anyone coming out to live with me is the worst thing they could probably do#sorry... I have a rather bleak outlook on many things surrounding myself purely cause of what I infer from the past#there is never pay off; only more shit I need to get done#I will never be loved; I will never be wanted; I will always just kinda be an afterthought that's occasionally worth venting to#no one will ever be particularly interested in anything I'm interested while I'll chase their interests or at least try to#certainly let them talk about them when they want#...though I take that over my normal total isolation... better to at least be permitted to follow in someone's shadow than have nothing
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