#sunnfish.txt

[sunnnfish]

Okay OKAY I wasn’t gonna propagandize the summer hikaru died but ive been thinking a little too much about it. SORRY I’ve been basically recommending a hundred different series. If you think my posts are all over the place you should see my brain. Anyways.

The THING about the summer hikaru died. The many things about it. That are getting to me. Number one the overwhelming feeling of SUMMER. Almost every page has the sound effects of cicadas or rain and sweat on everyone’s bodies. It’s so immersive, to me at least. It’s like it never lets you forget. A constant droning it feels like everyone has to speak a little louder to be heard. Something oppressive lives here, and it’s not just the eldritch horrors.

Number TWO. Grief. But in like that horror way. Mourning somebody no one else knows is gone. I’m just gonna say it bc it’s revealed in like the first 5 pages it’s body replacement. Some.. thing replaces the main characters best friend and it’s like. The twisting feeling in your gut looking at something that you should know but knowing it’s not the same anymore. It’s someone else. Look at this page I can’t stop thinking about it

[ID: A panel from Hikaru ga Shinda Natsu. Yoshiki sits with his head on his desk, drawn so his face and body are streaking down the page in smears of black. Around him float black text bubbles with scratchy text saying "To move on." Then he lifts his head with a gasp when someone exclaims, "Finally! There you are!" End ID]

That’s fucking GRIEF a sinking terrible grief. That nobody in their right mind could understand. But it’s also like. Christ it’s the mitsuba sousuke tbhk dilemma it’s that this new thing is it’s own person too. They aren’t the same but it’s damn near impossible to separate them because they look the same and act the same and desperately want to be the same. They want to be alive.

THREE. Cannot forget the queerness. The queer allegories and actual queerness are intense. Grotesqueness and horror at being different. Feeling like you know something is bad but you can’t help but enjoy it. Gut wrenching desire mixed in with every complicated feeling about losing your best friend while something pilots his body almost perfectly. It’s very fucked up. ALSO. Fear at being found out. Self hatred for being grotesque and different and not what everyone wants. Not what he wants.

Anyways uuuhhhh.yeah the summer hikaru died is fascinating to me. I love the feeling of it. Gives me chills. It’s cool 👍🏻 ALSO THE ART IS SO. GOOD. Haunting. I love it.

#been consuming so many fucked up gore stories lately I am so close to be coming a fucked up gore artist #this series is kinda making me wanna gnaw my arm off #it’s heavy and horrifying. augh #anyways #sunnfish.txt #the summer hikaru died #hikaru ga shinda natsu

[sunnnfish]

[ID: A picture of the Lego Monkie Kid season 1 poster/cover art with lines and words indicating different sections drawn to the right. The first small section says “wow! what good animation and fun concept!” The second small section says “oh wow, this has a deeper story than I thought” and the third largest section just shows drawings of a lego person in states of emotional turmoil; one crying on its knees with its hands raised, one on hands and knees, and one with its hands folded in front of it with a dark, stunned expression. /End ID]

Come closer the lego themed horrors won’t hurt you i promise <- lying

#talking about all the seasons btw not just season 1 #im so. normal. about this show. i promise #come closer #man. MAN #my friends. my psionic warriors. pleaaaaassee watch lego monkie kid #its so good. its so good. #its so fucking CRAZY MAN I WANNA RIP MY HAIR OUT SOMEBODY TALK TO ME ABOUT IT PLEASE #haaahhhhhhhhh im normal. im normal. im normal #sunnfish.lmk #lego monkie kid #monkie kid #sunnfish.txt #this was a product line created for 7-10 year old Chinese children #imagine being 7-10 #and then you have episode titles like ‘this imperfect world’ ‘pitiful creatures’ ‘a lifetime of mistakes’ ‘rip and tear’ #sorry. im normal. who said that #okay. okay. im leaving. for now

[sunnnfish]

oh my GOD where do I begin. Uhhhmmm. Okay. So Love & Passion is a chapter is the Sasaki and Miyano: First Years novel. Every chapter in that book is from a different characters perspective, and Love & Passion is from Tashiro’s POV. It is mostly about tashiros first year of high school and his joining of the ping pong club. Here look at the cover illustration

Going under a cut now due to exceeding length.

So like. There’s like. A Lot. Certifiably. Especially if you’re a tashiro enthusiast like me. Phenomenal characterization and narration that is usually very fun and lighthearted and tashiro-esque!

Gonzaburo Tashiro, first-year. At the moment, I’m facing an insurmountable barrier.

^ First lines of the chapter. He’s continuously very silly and like. Dramatic narrator. Yknow.

And such a personality lends itself to awfully poignant lines of crippling sincerity and simplicity that make me bawl my eyes out.

I don’t get it. What happened to the loneliness?

But of course tashiro doesn’t exist in a void to we have our delightful cast of his dear friends and acquaintances! Middle school bestie shirahama, who gets him into This Whole Mess (I’ll get to that later). Dearest Hanzawa Masato, who he makes various umh. Comments about.

“Game, set!” announced the referee, a second-year.

Man, he sounds so cool saying that.

…

As I stood there, drooping mentally and physically, I was approached by the guy who had refereed our match—the club’s vice president, Hanzawa.

And last but CERTAINLY not least. Dearest dearest previous president of the ping pong club!!!!

There he is. The saulty little binch on the right.

And if you’re wondering why we call him that. Well. He’s never given a name. Ha ha! But he has such a presence. The way he speaks and moves and looks feels so intentionally intense and like. designed. He’s so on purpose. Makes me wonder if we’ll ever get a spinoff of hanzawa masato[GETS SHOT] ha ha sorry who said that. Anyways

Dearest previous president (prev pres for short) and hanzawa torment poor tashiro. Endlessly. From the moment he joined the club—which was kind of an accident (he and shirahama joined just to check it out but eventually wanted to quit, but to quit you had to win a ping pong match. Shirahama won his match against a newbie easy peasy. Tashiro got matched up against the president of the club himself. Obviously couldn’t win and thus forced to join the club permanently)—from the moment he joined the club, prev pres and hanzawa are like. All over him. Obsessed with him. He tries to skip practice but both of them come drag him out of him classroom to come practice.

But despite his desire to not really be there, he takes club so seriously. He’s so sincere about it. He knows everyone else there is really passionate about ping pong so he cant let himself be the odd man out and rain on everyone’s parade. And this paradox—being so avoidant of the club but coming to care about it and bond with other members—really catches the eye of dearest prev pres.

“I thought Tashiro’d be spoiling for a fight, but he isn’t. That’s what makes him a genius worthy of my inner circle. Remember that, Hanzawa, ‘cause when I graduate, you’re gonna be the next club president.”

“Yes, sir.”

“And I think that guy might be a good successor to you!”

Dearest tashiro overhears this and promptly realizes the two freaks he’s met will not let him out of this. Ever. But he tells himself he’ll decline the offer. Surely they’ll find “someone more appropriate. Someone more serious about the club, maybe.”

And this is what like. Gets to the heart of this chapter. Love & Passion. AND REALLY QUICK touching on the fact that all the other chapters are named in ways that refer to specific characters. They’re all in pairs, and the chapter cover art reflects that too. She & Kuresawa. Miyano & Kuresawa. Sasaki & Miyano. Senior & Junior. SO IT MAKES YOU THINK. Who is love and who is passion. Anyways Tashiro meets and knows these various people around him and they’re all so passionate about what they do and what they like. Shirahama ends up joining the basketball club and gets really into it. Miyano and kuresawa are passionate about their books and clubs. Hanzawa and previous president are passionate about ping pong. Tashiro is passionate about… ? he doesn’t really know.

We so rarely know what other people’s passions are.

“Are you into anything, Tashiro?” Ms. Toyoda asked, and I flinched.

“Uh, me? I dunno. I guess I hadn’t really thought about it.” I racked my brain for anything I might be passionate about, but nothing came to mind.”

Later in the chapter he participates in a ping pong tournament and its like. He’s like the rush of it all and cheering for him teammates and stuff but. He doesn’t cry like everyone else when he loses.

Still, when I saw players from other school practically weeping when they lost, I couldn’t help wondering: What made them so different from me? I didn’t have the passion within me to cry when I lost.

Maybe that’s what real passion looks like. What did I have, then?

…

But something held me back, a sense that ‘passion’ was reserved for something you really, truly loved. Something you couldn’t replace, couldn’t even dream of giving up.

Ping-pong isn’t exactly the hill I would die on. But then again…

And he kinda goes through this arc where its like. Im not passionate about this like everyone else. But it has given me a goal to work towards.

And amidst all that We also get into what tashiro gets up to outside of school. Namely, he frequents a bath house where hes become the grandchild of all the old people that also frequent the place. And he also practices ping pong with his new grandpas, because he totally doesnt care about ping pong. He just. Wants to win. So he can beat the president and leave. Yeah thats it.

But he never does get around to beating the president before he has to graduate. Queue the moment that makes me the most insane

“So you’re never coming back, President?” I said.

“I ain’t President anymore.”

“Not the point! I haven’t beat you yet…” I clenched my fists, a yawning, lonely feeling of loss opening within me.

“Ahh. You mean the thing about getting to quit if you win? The next president’ll keep that promise. Dont’ you worry.”

“What?”

I don’t get it. What happened to the loneliness?

The new president—in other words, Hanzawa.

This like. Special relationship hes had with the president. This game of cat and mouse remains unfulfilled. And he feels loss and he feels lonely about it. But at the same time he can renew that relationship with Hanzawa. And it suddenly doesn’t feel so lonely anymore. And its the simplicity and bluntness of this whole exchange is what really sells it—tashiro is not particularly eloquent. He’s brash and blunt but extremely observant. And thats reflected in his chapters. He recognizes the ways other people interact with the world and their expressions and language. And its so like. Factual to him. It is the way it is. And that observancy is applied to himself too. This feels lonely. Oh. This doesn’t feel lonely anymore. But he doesnt necessarily have the self-reflection to understand why he feels certain things. Anyways.

And amidst all THAT theres these few moments where he gets this really weird adjacency to queerness. Like. If i had a nickel for every moment he asked about queer people, id have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot but its strange it happened twice.

First one:

Miyano’s hobby was man-on-man romance comics. I sometimes wondered about that (like, even though he’s a guy?),

Second one, where hes relaxing in the bathhouse common area and is listening to the old ladies talk about yuri.

Finally, I asked, “What’s yuri?”

“You don’t know? It’s stories of love between girls!”

“Huh, Haven’t heard of that one before…” I guess Ms. Toyoda and her friends had been into reading that sort of thing many years ago, and now their interest was being rekindled thanks to their grandchildren. “I didn’t realize women liked stories about girl-on-girl love, too…”

And its like. ITS NOT MUCH I KNOW. But it really is so weird it happened twice. Why did author Hachijo Kotoko do this. What does it mean. AND THEN IT ALL COMES BACK TO THE TITLE. Love & Passion.

I may not have that burning love that Miyano or Ms. Toyoda have, I thought.

Like. Specifically calling out the love miyano and Ms. Toyoda have. For queer stories. It sits so strange with me. Oddly meaningful but i dont know what it means.

Anyways. There’s also a really good shirahama and tashiro moment that i could get into but. I wont. Yet.

Anyways again. All that writing and i feel like i haven’t even touched on everything. Did not talk nearly enough about hanzawa’s presence but like. It’s very specific and hard to explain. But i also have an incessant desire to just quote like the entire chapter. So just go try to read it if you can. I unfortunately don’t know of any sources online but who knows. The book also has a second tashiro pov chapter so like. Cannot recommend it enough. I love tashiro gonzaburou so so much. He’s everything to me. Peace and love on planet tashiro.

#sasaki to miyano #tashiro gonzaburou #sasaki and miyano: first years #sasaki and miyano #Love & Passion #sunnfish.hzsr #sunnfish.txt #sunnfish.ask

[sunnnfish]

Thinks about how hanzawa masato is actually very easily flustered. Like. He can talk about romance and give advice all day but the moment he actually sees two people in love it’s over for him. He sees people hold hands and is like YOU DO THAT IN PUBLIC ??? He’s so. Private. And so weird. That he can’t fathom public displays of affection. Or any displays of affection.

^ch 42.5

Chewing through my arm. “I might have just seen something that shocked me more than anything else in my entire school career.” It’s sasaki brushing Miyano’s hair away from his eyes with the fondest expression. What do you MEEEAAANNN hanzawa masato. Anyways. Don’t have the capacity to extrapolate anything else from this. Peace and love on planet earth.

#interacting with thoughts of aranarumei post about tashiro falling on him and pushing his bangs away from his eyes etc etc #haaaahhh… #hanzawa masato #sasaki to miyano #hanzawa to tashiro #sunnfish.hzsr #sunnfish.txt

[sunnnfish]

Due to the mental anguish I am rambling about tbhk. I WAS going to put this under a readmore but that keeps breaking the post on mobile so. Im sorry. Tons of spoilers for chapter 99. And like the whole series. You know how it is.

I feel like I need to make an itemized list because there’s so fucking much I need to talk about right now

The violence and parallels to tsukasa. I mean who can forget tsukasa prying mitsubas mouth open to feed him number 3s heart. Who knows what tsukasa’s intentions were but they weren’t necessarily bad— as we know now mitsuba needs to eat to survive plus number 3 was like a pretty big power boost that would keep him together for a longer time. So he likely just wanted mitsuba to live comfortably. BUT ALSO there’s the beginning of the chapter where tsukasa tells mitsuba to dig the heart out himself vs kou who gets it for him. Anyways. With kou here it clearly came from a similar place of wanting mitsuba to not disappear. There’s a desperation to it and fear and it’s one I personally actually know quite well. I’ve dealt with friends refusing to eat and take care of themselves and it is a violent frustrating feeling that just ends with crying after the anger fades. There’s a lot of confusion like. Why do you not care about yourself as much as I care about you. Anyways. His actions make a lot of sense to me bc I have felt and done the exact same things.

Me core ^

and THEN there’s mitsubas feelings of wanting to be fucking exorcised and going to the fucking minamoto household to do it there’s so much here hang on. Like. I think he went to the minamoto house for some sliver of hope. If he wanted to for sure disappear he probably could’ve waited it out or something better but he went to the place where, depending on who answered the door, he’d either die or be faced with fucking. Kou minamoto. And the fact the he chose to reveal himself to kou it’s like. Did you really want to disappear. Did you really. And then taking him out on a fucking date basically like. You don’t want to disappear do you. You just don’t want to be. This. He wants to be human. He wants someone who will understand him and. And. Kou so readily accepts and understands him. Even the parts he thinks are ugly or unworthy. Fuck.

AND THEN. Kous feeling of inadequacy and fearing that mitsuba trusts tsukasa more than him and connecting to the vision he saw in the red house. Whether he accepts it or not he wants mitsuba to need him. The red house showed him a mitsuba who told him that he needs kou that he wants kou to be a supernatural with him and he brushes it away knowing mitsuba would never say that to him. He tells himself that mitsuba would never trust him or want him like that but he wants it to be real and he’s still hurt when the real mitsuba won’t open up to him. And it all comes back to his overall self worth issues of wanting to be strong and dependable and worthy.

AND this is all under the context of Teru finally letting kou have some responsibility and telling him to go exorcise the low level spirit that came near their home and AaaaaAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUU. KOU MINAMOTO……..

God its just. Kou minamoto cares about mitsuba so so so much and neither of them completely understand the gravity of it all. Also at this point hes said like 3 times that mitsuba is the root of all his worries. ALSO dont even get me started on the art and expressions this chapter. It’s so gorgeous like as always but. God. Also the keychains. Im gonna[blaring truck horn]

ALSO the way mitsuba says at the end like ‘you’d be lonely without me’ or whatever and kou almost looks shocked for a second like. Oh. And its like he thinks about it more and cries more because yeah, he would be lonely. He’s been lonely. Mitsuba somehow inexplicably became like his closest friend that knows everything about him and god he was lonely when mitsuba disappeared. The first time and the second. And he’s barely had time to process any of it because to everyone else around him mitsuba doesnt really. Matter. And because kou is so kind he is always putting everyone else’s problems in front of his own. The severance happens and it becomes a journey to help nene bring hanako and aoi back—next to no mention mitsuba aside from the leads to the red house, much less trying to find and save him too. The whole time theyre in the boundary to the far shore its all about hanako and nene and number 6. And there’s STILL the conversation about how to become a supernatural that he brought up with nene but noooooo we cant ever know anything about what kou wants. And like. It all comes back around this chapter because he so so selfishly wants mitsuba to live. One of the only things he lets himself want. And it aches. God. I wish i was any good or natural at prose writing because god the things i would write about minamoto kou. AND TO TOP IT OFF HES LIKE FUCKING 14 YEARS OLD…. Okay. Okay im done.

#the power kou minamoto has over me to make me want to chop all my hair off. i WONT. but. #god. kou minamoto and mitsuba sousuke you guys make me feel undocumented emotions #anyways #tbhk #jshk #toilet bound hanako kun #jibaku shounen hanako kun #kou minamoto #minamoto kou #mitsuba sousuke #sousuke mitsuba #sunnfish.tbhk #sunnfish.jshk #sunnfish.txt #why cant i write this much on like. academic papers #sigh #I’ve been writing this for like an hour btw #long post

[sunnnfish]

Really really love the way dungeon meshi portrays like. Being flushed. Like the blush flush effect is soooo good. Something thats affecting them so wholly. So embarrassingly. It’s soooo good

#to the void #sunnfish.jrnl #sunnfish.txt #dungeon meshi

[sunnnfish]

“If you just do everything you’re supposed to do you’ll eventually end up where you need to be.” Infinity train book 4 you fuck me up so bad still. “You can mess up even if you stand still…” MIN-GI PARK…..

#ITS SOOOOO GOOD… #he’s fucking. just like me for real #GOD. relationships with family and friends and like. I DONT HAVE THE WORDS FOR IT RIGHT NOW #and how like personal problems and biases can effect your relationships #and how little things about someone can build up and bottle up and it’s like you love them and hate them at the same time #and about standing still versus rushing ahead #the weight of expectations. one trying to run away one just trying to do as he’s told #and they both think they knows what’s best. for themselves for each other #rymin is so much more than a ship to me. it’s about complexities and best friendship and knowing someone your whole life #and how extremely fucked up that can be #head in my hands punches the wall explodes #infinity train #book 4 #rymin #sunnfish.txt #min gi park is like if hanzawa masato was a lot less eccentric and a lot more angry. same core though #sorry also just like. what a justified anger it is #min gi has molded himself to what his parents want him to be his whole life #he tries and wants to be with Ryan. but it’s so fucking terrifying to him #that amount of change and freedom. #sorry. sorry #okay. I’m going #WAIT. also thinking about the whole. abandonment issues. aaaaauuuuu #rewatching rn and #not even at the art gallery car episode yet but I’m thinking about it. you LEFT me.

[sunnnfish]

A glimpse of my entire sasamiyaverse timeline just to show people how goddamn long February is. We spent 10 chapters in February. And also to show how insane I am. Ive been upkeeping this since like before ssmy volume 9 dropped and I WANT to figure out how to share it completely without outing my email so just. Take this for now.

To explain a bit, the middle column is the months, color coded by the school terms. To the left is sasamiya volumes and individual chapters, to the right is kagihira volumes and chapters and also notes of crumbs in sasamiya. There’s detailing of events in every chapter and extra and also notes and sources of specific dates and exact birthdays and ages. Fun fact as far as I could catch the only confirmed ages are Sasaki’s and Kagi’s — in ssmy chapter 44 it’s stated it’s Sasaki’s 19th birthday (and also the day, June 17, falls on a Saturday or Sunday), and kghr chapter 1 states Kagi is 16. So he turns 17 during the Christmas party n stuff. Anyways if anyone has sources on any other ages please tell me.

#this is probably the most mentally ill thing I’ve ever done. anyways #hirano to kagiura #sasaki to miyano #sunnfish.kghr #sunnfish.ssmy #sunnfish.txt #yeah this is why I have encyclopedic knowledge of literally everything in this goddamn series

[sunnnfish]

[ID: a panel from the manga Skip to Loafer from chapter 54, showing a slightly obscured profile of Shima’s face as he eats. He’s thinking, “Wait, how do I usually eat? I mean, no matter how you chew it’s kind of animalistic, right? No way, others don’t usually think about that.” /End ID]

stares into the distance

#lines lab grown to make me and my friends really weird #this is so hanzaw[GETS HIT BY A BUS] #hey all my friends read skip to loafer #I could be much weirder about it if not for the ssmyverse brain #it’s got so much to be weird about #augh #sunnfish.txt

[sunnnfish]

Thinking about the comparisons between the sasamiya hug and kagihira hug. Both born out of an overwhelming desperation and guilt and. A fascinating difference is sasamiya had that internal dialogue while kagihira was just. Silent. And Remember how the sasamiya hug was Miyano’s oh moment. Remember. Hey guys remember. Guys come back

#YEAH I’m sick in the head. what of it. #sunnfish.kghr #Hirano to kagiura #sunnfish.txt

[sunnnfish]

Thinking about Your Name. It’s about dreams and the magic hour and expanding your perspective and wanting to be someone else and somewhere else. It’s about dissociation and familial obligation and names and desperation and displacement. It’s about knowing someone in ways no one else does. It’s about wanting to know someone in ways no one else does.

It’s about wanting to stand up for someone else and in turn standing up for yourself. It’s about time and connection and union. This is the gate to the netherworld. It’s about ghosts and memory and lingering.

But its also about hope and love and unconventional and weird love. It’s keeping things unsaid but endlessly communicated all the same. It’s becoming someone else and loving that someone else who has become you. It’s also about friendship and the friends who will come with you. It’s about knowing something is missing but knowing it’s out there somewhere—just keep looking. Keep looking.

#this was going to be about my hanzashiro au but it turned into just rambling about your name so. #still some remnants there but. you know #Your Name #kimi no na wa #sunnfish.txt #i looooooove your name….. sniffles #media that makes me want to fall in love. ough….

[sunnnfish]

(Grumbling) are you serious right now you’ve gotta be kidding me. sigh

Hey guys. Not gonna say much this time but it’s time for another self indulgent tbhk x sasamiya comparison because. Well. Look at them.

Mitsuba sousuke (toilet bound hanako kun) and niibashi juuya (sasaki to miyano/Hirano to kagiura). Both snarky smug little bitches with pink hair and an insufferable addiction to being cute. Quirky little hairstyle. Best friends with a positive golden retriever type boy.

#somebody fucking get me away from here #am I going crazy. I think I’m going crazy #tbhk #jshk #sasaki to miyano #Hirano to Kagiura #niibashi juuya #mitsuba sousuke #sunnfish.txt

[sunnnfish]

I’m not entirely sure what this means but like. Reread kagihira right. And Hirano often emphasizes how much he’s rooting for Kagi and like wanting Kagi to succeed (especially in relation to basketball) and like. His recent realization that Kagi puts just as much work and passion towards him as he does basketball like. Hirano has this intrinsic desire to see Kagi succeed which is soon going to compete with his denial of a relationship with kagi. to succeed in this means to date. Do you get what I’m getting at.

#Hirano to kagiura #sunnfish.kghr #sunnfish.txt #Hirano and kagiura

[sunnnfish]

Hahahaha hhahahahha finally… with twitters destruction all the sasamiya/kagihira fans will come here…. Mwaahahahahh….

#twirls hair . hi everybody #let’s all hold hands and be friends #Hirano to kagiura #sasaki to miyano #sunnfish.txt

[sunnnfish]

Hey. Come with me. back to chapter 18. I am going to talk about things in chapter 18 again.

Something I’ve been trying to articulate is like. The way Kagi observes Hirano so objectively when they practice basketball. From everything we know about him you’d expect him to be a little more… idk crazy? About looking at Hirano so intently, trying to figure out the way he moves. Something about the layer of basketball does something to them both (I’ll get to Hirano later) and it’s like. This is a Kagi who is so absorbed with basketball that it’s like he forgets he’s supposed to have a crush on Hirano. He doesn’t look at Hirano with that terrible desire that sits in his gut, instead with something calm and analytical and a little confident (and how I wish Hirano would shrink under it just a little). Basketball puts him in such a comfort zone—and a zone where he basically has more power over Hirano. And he takes joy in getting to share his love of basketball with the person he loves and it’s so different from the way he usually loves Hirano. Do you get it.

But that calm and that knowledge and that expertise makes Kagi so COOL. And Hirano has rarely ever seen this side of Kagi up close. This is a Kagi that isn’t constantly in a lovesick malaise but it’s still wholly him because Kagi does exist outside of hirano, despite how much he may not want to. Basketball is a state to existing so natural to him that he doesn’t realize how fucking cool he can be. And Hirano looks at him with a similar meticulousness often. But Kagi shoots the ball and that gaze falters because Kagi is so goddamn cool and in such a state of easy confidence that it catches him off guard. And that’s not something he can afford to look at too hard or think about too much.

And I feel like something I haven’t made clear is that it’s not like Kagi is actually constantly in a lovesick malaise— he thinks about his love for Hirano often but there are times when it’s normal between them and the friendship and time together is more important that any potential relationship. Like. This basketball practice scene is a scene that’s quite devoid of any romantic drama (up until the end of course) and it’s. something. God I don’t know the words. It’s something different? special? Almost like. I wanna say domestic but that’s not it. Maybe like. A certain kind of normalcy between them. I don’t know. Surely you understand.

#hmmmmm not sure if I found all the right words here #but this is something that’s been on my mind like. the whole time #anyways #Hirano to kagiura #Hirano and kagiura #htk #sunnfish.kghr #sunnfish.txt #Hirano taiga #kagiura akira

[sunnnfish]

Every day I think about artists who made one-off sasamiya/kagihira fanart… come back… your art was so good….

#to the void #sunnfish.jrnl #sasaki to miyano #sunnfish.ssmy #sunnfish.txt