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meid4 · 2 years

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My thoughts on Max in s4 (and Billy)

I don’t know if other people with childhood trauma can relate to that, but :

When I watched Stranger things season 4, I was kinda like : “c’mon, Max, Billy was a bad person ! How can you feel bad for him when he was a piece of shit ?”. But at the same time, I understood it so much, and I know that this is why I didn’t want her to feel that way. All that guilt.

Her, being so depressed, was showing what it is to live after something so traumatic happened (I mean that we don’t really see the others dealing with that side of PTSD as much)

Okay so, my abuser(s) are not dead, i even still live partially with some of them. Like, I know the wrong they did, that they hurt me and others but it’s so difficult, especially when they are family, to not feel bad when they're hurting. You hate them but at the same time, you know they are like that because they were also hurt.

Episode 4 made me cry like hell. I wanted her to live, to be with people who actually care about her, and not be stuck with the memories of her abuser. Billy made her feel guilty when he was alive (because he needed to watch after her and because they moved to Hawkins) and still made her feel that way when he died. His power over her didn’t die with him. Her memories of him even twisted a bit, because of his sacrifice, she kinda thought : “oh, but he wasn’t that bad”.

HE WAS.

Billy apologist are wrong, I’m sorry, but I can’t. It’s just a disrespect to Max’s character and all people who were abused. I think Billy is an interesting character, I’m not like saying people can’t like him at all (you can like “villains”, that’s not wrong. You just have to acknowledge the wrong they did at some point (I know that's an entirely different discussion, but yeah))

It’s a difficult topic, I’m coming from a place where I empathize way too much with Max and his other victims to forgive Billy even if he was abused. You can’t say that what he did wasn't that a big of a deal : he was a bully, a racist, and a misogynist.

Maybe, if he had some of a redemption arc, my point of view could’ve changed a bit (his sacrifice doesn't count). Like with Steve, who had kinda like 2 seasons of character development in a good way. Even if he did things that were wrong, he acknowledged what he did and grew (I don’t remember everything of the show, so potentially fan fictions helped me love him much more lmao).

But I don’t forget what he did.

And what’s for the end of volume 2, when I watched it the first time, I kinda wanted Max to die OKAY WAIT HERE ME OUT, HERE ME OUT !

Because, it WAS so CRUEL to do that. She finally wanted to live, and killing her would’ve been HORRIBLE. It would’ve shown that the good guy’s don’t always win, and it echos with Robin’s line where she says that she doesn’t think they are going to make it this time. (yeah, I love a good angst to tear my heart apart. I was crying, throwing up when Max begged to stay alive).

I’m like happy she’s alive now, she is one of my favorite characters and I would literally die for her. They HAVE to let her stay alive now, they can’t do the “is she going to die or not ?” 3 times.

So I want to see what they are going to do with her character, now that we know that she wants to live. I hope she doesn’t stay in a coma most of the season, and that she isn’t going to be miraculously fine after waking up. It’s not my place to say if it would be okay for her to be a disabled character because Sadie Sink isn’t disabled, so I’m not going further with that. I just hope they aren’t going to rush the rest of her character arc.

And I want her to be happy with her new family, because we love a good found family.

#stranger things 4 #stranger things #st4 volume 2 #max mayfield #billy hargrove #max and billy #mentally ill #mental illness #mental health #stranger things s5 #english isn't my first language #Apologies for my grammar #stranger things ep4 #childhood trauma #steve harrington #meid4

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maladaptivedaydreamingbullshit · 2 years

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The Body +You(S1E4)

Pairing: No romantic pairs.

Characters: Eleven/El, Mike Wheeler, Lucas Sinclair, Will Byers, Dustin Henderson, Jim Hopper, Mrs/Mr. Wheeler, Nancy Wheeler, Steve Harrington, Tommy Hagan, Carol Perkins, Joyce Byers, Jonathan Byers, Holly Wheeler, You(y/n)

Summary: "You" are inserted into the world of Stranger Things. Season 1, Episode 4: The Body ~Basically this is my DR for Stranger things but instead of my name I just put y/n.~

Word Count: 2,085

A/N: Okie Dokie, this was the last one I wrote before I posted these. So, I will try my hardest to keep doing this. You probably know the drill by now-- rip if the tense changes because that is my main weakness.

Warnings: cussing, underage selling of drugs/alcohol, dead body (kind of), bullying, time period accurate homophobia, maybe others- let me know.

Stranger Things insert:

Season 1: 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 8

I rode in Hopper’s truck to the Byers house.

He told me to stay in the truck while he breaks the news to Joyce and Jonathan.

There was no way that was really Will. He can’t be dead. El said he was hiding, not dead. I needed him to be alive.

Hopper got back in the truck and started the engine.

“Wha– wait no. We can’t leave. They need us.” I was about to jump out of the truck.

He sighed and turned off the engine. “... go ahead.” He took off his hat and grabbed my arm. “Joyce is not in a good place. Don’t talk about the lights. Make sure she sleeps. Please.”

I nodded and ran out towards the house.

I lightly knocked, “Mrs. Byers? Jonathan?”

Ms. Byers opened the door and pulled me in her arms.

We stood there and cried. I mumbled apologies but she wouldn’t let me take responsibility.

She grabbed my shoulders. “This isn’t your fault! You can not do that to yourself!”

I looked past her, that's when I noticed the lights.

They were everywhere. Hundreds of Christmas lights.

They were all through the rooms and hallways. I guessed they even went into the rooms. The back wall had the alphabet with a light above each letter.

She saw me looking at them. “He talks to me. Will. He uses the lights to spell out what he was saying.”

I looked at her– “Oh, don’t look at me like that. He is not dead– you can’t tell me you think he is dead, y/n! I am not crazy.”

“We should try and get some sleep.. I can stay in the living room, so if he– comes back.” I tried not to play into this but I didn’t want to upset her.

“No!” She looks over at one of the walls. “No, that thing– not in here.”

I just nodded, not knowing what to do.

“I can’t sleep, y/n. I have to watch the lights.”

I grabbed her hand. “I will join you then.”

She gave me a gracious smile. Her face then went blank and she went out the back door.

She came back with an ax.

I tried to show no emotion and sit with her on the couch in silence. At some point we both fell asleep.

—

I woke up to Jonathan shaking my arm.

“No.. Leave me alone.” I went to stretch then noticed I was on their couch.

Will.. oh right.

He then started waking up his mom.

I sat up and stretched. Sleeping upright on the couch is not the most comfortable. Jonathan said it was time to go to the morgue.

I looked out the window and Hopper’s truck was still there.

“I am gonna go.. If you guys need anything–”

Jonathan nodded, “Thanks.”

—

I knocked on the passenger window.

Hopper jumped, “Jesus fucking–”

He looked over at me and unlocked the car.

“Sorry.. Do I have to go to school?”

He groaned. “Shit. Uh, no. Wheeler’s or home?”

“Wheeler’s. I don’t think I should be alone…”

—

Mrs. Wheeler, Nancy, and Holly were just about to leave when we pulled up.

She rolled down her window, “Hey y/n. We were just about to leave. Did you want a ride?”

I looked over at Hopper. “Uh– no I was going to see if I could spend the day here.. With Mike. I need a friend.”

She looked at me sadly. “Of course. The door is unlocked. Mike is in his room.”

“Thank you.” And with that everyone left and I ran into the house.

When I walked in Mike was coming down the stairs.

“Great you are here! Will is alive!”

“What?” I blinked at him.

He grabbed my arm and pulled me down to the basement.

“I’ll tell you when the guys get here!”

—

Mike sat us all down outside of El’s fort.

She was messing with the walkie talkie again.

“You– you found him?” My voice hurt from all the crying.

El looked at me and nodded. She was flipping through the channels on the radio..

“We keep losing the signal, but you heard it, right?” Mike looked hopeful.

“Yeah, I heard a baby.” Lucas wasn’t impressed.

“What?” Mike snapped his head towards Lucas.

“Mike, you obviously tapped into a baby monitor. It’s probably the Blackburns’ next door.”

Lucas was making sense..

“Uh, did that sound like a baby to you? That was Will!” Mike started getting defensive.

Lucas rolled his eyes. “Mike–”

“Lucas, you don’t understand. He spoke last night. Words! He was singing that weird song he loves. Even El heard him!” Mike was talking fast now.

“Oh, well, if the weirdo heard him, then I guess—”

Dustin interrupted Lucas. “Are you sure you’re on the right channel?”

“I don’t think it’s about that. I think, somehow, she’s channeling him.”

“Like professor X!” Dustin was coming around.

Mike agreed.

“Are you actually believing this crap?” Lucas sounded irritated.

“I don’t know, I mean– Do you remember when Will fell off his bike and broke his finger? He sounded a lot like that.” I nodded at Dustin.

Lucas and Mike started getting into an argument on if Will was dead or not.

“Stop!” They looked over at me. “I am with Mike. He isn’t dead.”

Lucas started to say something but I stopped him.

“Look, if El was able to hear him through the radio, maybe he can talk through other means of electricity.”

“What are you talking about, y/n?” Lucas looked at me like I’d gone crazy.

“Ms. Byers has these Christmas lights all over her house. She said that Will was talking to her through them. She has a whole set up with the alphabet.”

Lucas rolled his eyes, “She is wrong.. She is in mourning.”

I sighed, “I get it, it sounds crazy. But, if Mike heard him..”

El continued fidgeting with the radio.

Mike sighed. “This isn’t gonna work. We need to get El to a stronger radio.”

Dustin smiled. “Mr. Clarke’s Heathkit ham shack!”

“The Heaethkit’s at school.” Lucas pointed out. “There is no way we’re gonna get the weirdo in there without anyone noticing.. I mean– look at her.”

The guys look at El.

“Okay then–” I clapped. “Then let’s give her a makeover.”

I take El to Nancy’s room and start looking through her makeup. The guys bring us one of Nancy’s old dresses and a wig from halloween a couple of years ago. I help her get everything on and we step out of Nancy’s room.

They all look at her.

“Wow! She looks–”

“Pretty” Mike interrupted Dustin.

I raised my eyebrows at him.

“Good!... You look pretty good.” Mike corrected.

She walks over to a mirror. “Pretty… good.”

I walked over to her. “Very pretty.”

—

We rode our bikes to the middle school. I looked around before I snuck in.

If anyone sees me here, I’m dead.

We walk to the AV room but it is locked.

“Boys? Y/n? What are you doing here?” Mr. Clarke turned the corner.

Damn it… “Uh.. the assembly?”

“Oh, well it is about to start.”

“We know.” Mike interjected. “We’re just, you know..”

“Upset” Lucas finished.

“We need some alone time..”

“To cry..”

They were all taking turns making the sentence. I narrowed my eyes at them.

“Yeah, listen… I get it. I do. I know how hard this is, but let’s just be there for Will, huh?” Mr. Clarke said softly. “And then.. The Heathkit is all yours for the rest of the day. What do you say?”

He threw the keys to the AV room at Mike.

He looked over at El. “I don’t believe we met. What’s your name?”

She mumbles ‘Eleven’ but Mike yells ‘Eleanor’.

“Ah, well, welcome to Hawkins Middle, Eleanor. I wish you were here under better circumstances.” Mr. Clarke smiled down at her.

El thanked him and he started asking about where she was from.

We all looked at El while she shook her head. “Bad place–”

“Sweden!” Dustin interrupted.

“I have a lot of Swedish family.” Mike follows up.

I looked between the boys as they kept talking about Sweden.

“Ahem..” Everyone looks at me. “The assembly?”

“Yes,” Mr. Clarke continues to stare at El. “Shall we?”

“Yep!” Lucas pops off the wall and we walk to the gym.

—

Dustin throws open the gym doors, making an obnoxiously loud noise.

The principal stops talking and the whole middle school is looking at us.

I sigh in frustration while Dustin tries to leave. Lucus pushes him back and we go to sit on the bleachers.

The middle school principal drones on about how ‘we are all grieving and he will be missed’ and other bull shit like that. No one here cared about Will, the apathetic boredom in the gym is proof of that.

The sound of Troy and James pulls me from my thoughts.

“Who is interested in this? This is so stupid. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…” Both of them giggling “Oh, he was such a great student. Oh, he’s going to leave a hole in the community.”

I try to stand but El and Dustin hold me down.

El looks over at them, “Mouth breather.”

I look down and try to block them out for the rest of the assembly.

Finally, the bell rings.

Mike starts walking towards the middle of the gym, towards Troy and James.

“Mike–” I tried to catch up with him. “We should probably just go–”

He started yelling at them to get their attention.

I stop and stand back. I shouldn’t bring too much attention to myself.

Mike confronts them and they start making fun of Will’s death again.

“Besides, what’s there to be sad about, anyway? Will’s in fairyland now, right? Flying around with all the other little fairies. All happy and gay!” Troy starts bouncing around, I assume as a fairy would.

Troy and James start to walk off but Mike runs over and pushes Troy to the ground.

“You’re dead, Wheeler!” Troy gets up. “Dead!”

Then he stops.

I look at him confused as he looks– almost frozen in place.

A wet spot starts to form on his pants.

A random kid yells that he is peeing himself and everyone starts laughing.

I look over at El with wide eyes.

Blood starts dripping out of her nose.

The principal notices everyone in a circle and starts heading over.

Lucas grabs Mike and we all book it to the AV room.

—

Mike locks the door behind us and El sits behind this big.. radio thing.

Dustin stands behind El, “Now what?”

“She’ll find him.” Mike starts turning the radio on. “Right, El?”

El closes her eyes.

I stand next to her and put my hand on her shoulder.

“She’s doing it..” Mike sounds amazed. “She’s finding him!”

“Calm down.” Doubt still in Lucas’ voice. “She just closed her eyes.”

My hand was still on her shoulder, but it felt weird. Like it was buzzing.

Cling!

The light bulb broke above us.

The buzzing was getting stronger but I couldn’t move.

Noises started coming from the radio.

“What is that?” Dustin sounded scared.

As the noises continued the radio was getting clearer.

“Mom?” Will’s voice broke through the static.

I started getting light headed from the buzzing.

Will’s voice started getting clearer and clearer, I closed my eyes–

I could see him.

Banging on– something? A wall of some sort.

He kept calling for his mom.

I couldn’t move or speak. Just watch. Paralized.

He started talking about where he was.

“It’s like home, but it’s so dark…”

It started coming into focus.

Hopkins but– in ruins.

“It’s so dark and empty. And it’s cold!”

Everything is– wet? And sticky.

I could hear something coming.

The other Hopkins was getting more vivid.

Something was definitely coming for Will.

He looked at the wall one last time and bolted towards the forest.

The fire alarm pulled me out of Dark Hopkins as I fumble away from El.

The radio was on fire. I didn’t care.

Dustin put it out with a fire extinguisher as I almost fell on the floor.

Lucas held me steady as I tried to regain my bearings.

I vaguely hear Mike talking to El and asking for Lucas’s help to get her up.

I’m handed off to Dustin and we start trotting down the hall.

They find a wheelchair to put El in as I mindlessly get pulled through the school.

#stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things imagine #stranger things x reader #stranger things x you #stranger things x y/n #stranger things oc #fanfic #stranger things fanfic #fanfiction #stranger things spoilers #st1 #st1 ep4

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