#stop it im gonna fucking sob

[vivisvalley]

ikerev shutting down changed me as a person im not over it

#I WAS 12 #i spent the most important years of my life on that game #and yeah whatever its a fuckin dating game but i learned life lessons that no one else bothered to teach me #guys sirius literally raised me goodnight #literally my mom. and my dad. also my big brother. #stop it im gonna fucking sob #i will never be over this #vivi rambles

[clouvu]

Nothing in the world belongs to me But my love, mine, all mine

#genshin impact #arlecchino #peruere #clervie #ouhhhhhhhh im never gonna be able to emotionally recover from watching that animated short #ever since it came out a couple days ago just thinking of these two makes me feel like my heart is physically being ripped in half #i cant stop thinking about how Clervie was the only person in Arlecchino's life that she truly loved #like dont get me wrong Arlecchino loves her children in her own detached-fucked up way as much as any person with her amount of trauma can #but Clervie meant so much to her that even just her presence alone kept Arle's curse at bay #and it seems that no one other than Clervie herself has ever been able to break this unemotional/detached wall that Arle has put up #and maybe no one else ever will #DONT GET ME WRONG I still fw arle x other female harbingers like that shit is still peak #but oh my god the idea that arle never moved on after clervie's death and will never love anyone the way she loved her makes me want to SOB

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

ohhhhmygod im gonna be sick. actually nauseous and i did it to myself - there was a spider on the countertop and i Panicked, grabbing the first distance-killer i could grab. it was a grease cleaner spray. i buried it in the stuff, walked away to recover mentally, came back

it fucking fell apart and dissolved into the cleaner. i both feel horrible and im disgusted beyond words. how the fuck do i get rid of it

#slamming my face into a wall repeatedly #i cant leave it there to deal with after Sleep #bc my cats like to go onto the countertops when no one is looking #and i dont want either of them to get poisoned #but i cant rinse it into the sink with the faucet hose bc there's stuff in the sink #but idk if i can bring myself to do dishes with That next to me #and my fear of spiders is so intense that i Cannot get close enough to take care of it with a towel or somethin #im very good at fucking myself over in various ways! #if i had an appetite id lose it. permanently #what if! instead of dealing with it! i curl up in a corner and cry #except im not gonna do that ive filled my tears quota for the year & doing nothing wont help anything #sorry for venting again i just. ohhhhh this is horrible this is Terrible #if i still had my whacking stick id tape a big wad of paper towels to the end and clean the mess up that way #from a Distance! #absolutely unprompted #i wish i wasnt so terrified of spiders #they scare me So much.... #the point of feeling physically ill! and like sobbing! or panicking! and this spider was Big! #i wish they'd stop coming into the house.... i hate killing them but i cant function knowing theyre there #but i can't force myself close enough to put them in a cup and bring them outside #so now i have THAT on my counter. disintegrated spider. #life is too fucking much lately... jesus.... i should really just bite the bullet and get this shit over with #no use waiting a month in perpetual terror unease and guilt. do it scared yk yk #im tired of my chest hurting and not being able to eat! i dont like it! i need change! terrifying horrible change!

[bunnychargebolt]

Gosh theyre asleep in call right now and immmm auehwiehwiehwieh. Talking to him is so amazing always. Shes so caring and understanding and gentle with me. I feel safe. Im able to ask for clarification and not worry about it. They know amd understand stuff that ive been through and are just so isnqiheqiheiwhe shes so nice to me about it. He has a real big talent of saying things I need to hear before I even ask for them and it always makes me so fucking happy.

We meld together so well. It feels like we continue to meet each other where its needed and it meshes so fucking well. Being able to give each other the love and affection we’ve been wanting or maybe not even daring to want and receiving anyways. Both having the feeling of “i cant believe Im the person you chose” and its soooo sweet and mushy and beautiful.

Hes so understanding of my fluctuations in sex repulsion and insecurities i have. Being able to be told that shed be here even if I never wanted to do anything sexual again but also being told that i got them so worked up that they have to go get off right now. Feeling attractive and wanted but not used. Im safe saying no. Im comfortable saying no.

Goshhhhh and the way they have a fucking key to my brainnnn😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 He could just look at me amd Id manage to melt right into a puddle Im sure. Shes just- ienwiehiwhe its crazy to me that theyre newer to domming cause hes so fucking good at itttt. So many of our kinks line up amd it just works so fucking good. I feel comfortable telling them if im wanting softer or harder stuff and gods everything we do is just absolutely incredible. The idea of doing stuff with just about anyone else is almost foreign to me and we havent even been talking for that longgggg.

I know that every single part of me is loved. Even the parts I hide from most people. And thats such an amazing feeling. I feel safe. I feel hope. I feel happy. I have genuinely been in tears so many times the past few weeks over just how much they mean to me, or something she said to me, or just- him. I love them. On purpose. So fucking much.

I have never even dreamt of being allowed to feel this way and be loved like this before. You are my beautiful midnight sky. The bright shining moon lighting my way. The comfort of a campfire. The awe of the stars. Visible in the daytime too. Always there. Helping me feel safe. I couldnt be more grateful that the person I get to feel like this with is you. I felt the most safety i can remember feeling in years meeting you. I was able to be myself immediately. My walls down from the beginning.

I like you. And I love you. And Im sooo attracted to you😵‍💫 (<- someone who thought it was asexual) And I cannot fucking wait to get to meet you. To hug you and hold you. Breathe you in and smile with you. To be able to look into your gorgeous eyes. And to fall for you in so many new ways. @seren-eclipsed <3

#☀️ #hai baby #i knowwwww i should be asleep #i prommy ill explain what happened when i wake up #but i wanted to leave this for you to wake up to #and just #hhhhhhhhhhhhh keep thinkin boot things youve said #im going feral #after not doin stuff for a bit the floodgates are open #and there js #definitely a flood #and im #hmfffff woof woof woof woof #and just- wanna snuggle up with youuuu #ararararara #i like you so fucking much #you amaze me every day #and im forever grateful you chose me #andddd im gonna stop typing now so i dknt sob ajdbwihd #gnightttt i love you

[whynotimtired]

Thinking about how there was like half a day where mike knew it was requited....

#im not joking like what did he think about #how many things probably clicked in his head the second he knew will loved him #and the painting WAS for a crush but not ANGELA it was HIM which makes sense cause el said he was acting weird and will WAS acting weird #i bet he was like OH. HE WAS JEALOUS WHILE I WAS JEALOUS. OH #mike hasnt looked away from the painting once but hes gone over the past 3 years at least 7 times in his head kdndndnd #STOP KDBDBDBD THAT ONE MEME WITH THE TWO PEOPLE LOOKING OUT THE BUS WINDOWS #WILL MUFFLING HIS SOBS CAUSE HE JUST PUSHED THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE TOWARDS HIS GF WITH HIS OWN FEELINGS #AND MIKE IS ON THE OTHER SIDE LOOKING AT THE PAINTING WITH HEARTS FLOATING AROUND HIS HEAD THINKING ABOUT HOW WILL LOVES HIM DKSNDNND #can we start getting au's where the pizza place went different and mike was never pushed off track #im waiting patiently. #byler #will byers #stranger things #byeler #mike wheeler #mike wheeler is gay #like what if mike got really bold cause when he finally knew will liked him there was nothing to be afraid of #like whats he gonna do?? reject him??? call him queer???? theres nothing to be afraid of!! #so mike is just like ok fuck it!! and starts flirting like crazy and will is like WHATS HAPPENING

[littencloud9]

TSUGEMINA LOVE CONFESSION THIS SIIS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

#‘no story could compare to the real you’ IM GONNA FUCKING SOB. GOD. I LOVE THEM #tsuge needs to stop acting like hes a Big Scary Adult btw. youre 30 sweetheart you can still date calm down #BUT OHHH MY GOD. JUMPING UP AND DOWN IM SO DELIVHTED #lena watches cherry magic

[coridallasmultipass]

Just wanna remind everyone that it's NEVER okay to tell someone to die.

You don't know how hard they're fighting to stay alive every day. Or if they don't even want to fight for that any more.

#i hate that i let that get to me lmao just ruined my fucking day ive been sitting here sobbing for like an hour #i cant tell anyone just how much i dont even want to try any more bc i dont see the point #medical issues and mental issues dont pair well and i dunno if im even gonna be able to survive the next flare up #i dont need fandom spaces telling me to die when im already telling myself that every fucking day #also why does my age always get brought up lmao i didnt choose to be born 30 years ago stop telling me im old #my body has been telling me im old since age 11 you dont know what ive fucking been thru #30 was just a formality and serves as another reminder of how ill never meet societys expectations for a 30yo lmao #my point is. you should try showing a little more kindness if telling someone to die comes so easily #ive literally never once told anyone to die in my life. you just dont fucking go there. what if they kill themself right after that? #can you live knowing they did so on your command? #i couldnt #thats just like beyond fucked up #anyway im gonna go try and stop crying #ill prob stay off tumblr today idk i feel real sick lol #delete later / / #i hate that i cant exist as myself either in person (too queer and closeted in a rural area) or online (too queer and weird ships) #anyway

[lovelyhan]

foxiny's getting a new friend soon...

#💬 kai rambles #im gonna fucking SOB #he designed a plushie that has LOVE as the mbti #jeonghan when will you ever stop draining my bank account....

[elegyofthemoon]

people on my twt feed kept comparing pandora hearts and dgrayman and bc my 11 year old self was so obsessed w dgm i decided to pick it up again and 😭 i see why i was obsessed lmao

#the anime makes me kinda nostalgic but i cant stomach it bc ep 50 or so was a bunch of fillers that werent in the manga #hhfjfj ik i was super mad about it when i was watching that i stopped watching #but anyways! #i finished vol 2 for dgm and im sobbing my eyes out what the fuck... #NO AND IK IT GETS WORSE IM NOT READY ..... #like i had this feeling id like allen anyways bc he was my fave when i was little the same way i was attached to oz as a kid JGHFJFJ #BUT NOW THAT I UNDERSTAND IM LIKE....OH.....OH NO #anyways like. allen and yuu having a conversation about self sacrifice and i was like 'ah....oz and elliot convo retrace 26 nodnod' #but the difference is that like. oz was afraid of losing everything so if it meant sacrificing himself he didnt mind so long as someone #stays... #meanwhile allen says that hes lost everything so he has nothing else to lose #allen had such a kind heart also bc of how much he has lost and him tending to guzol and lala made me uglycry like i was 11 again OK.... #also yuu saying 'exorcists are destroyers' but allen acknowledging it but wanting to use that power to protect I WILL DIE ACTUALLY LMAO #NO THE NEXT VOLUME IS GONNA SLAP ME SO HARD DUDE CANNOT WAIT.... #miranda and krory!!!!!!! big excited!!! #or i think krory is vol 4... OH MY GOD LAVIIIIIIIII 💞💞💞💞💞💞 #ok thats all i wanna say jenfjdjf #like allens so optimistic but its the kind thats formed by going through The Worst and that makes me sob #dudes only 14 and going through it #jshdjjd that would also check out for why 11 year old me was obsessed w him. ok #snow speaks #i dont have the next volume on me.... makes me sad.... #snow reads dgm

[corignem]

.

#im gonna be so so forreal-- #the star wars fandom was always my all time favourite to write in #the sad part is that during bOTH of my more intense/longer periods on the fandom... #i was tangled up each time with a different 'best friend' that ended up being deeply. deeply fucking toxic and possessive toward me #so for the longest time it's been SO HARD to touch those fandoms ya know??? #which is why my focus in the past couple of years has been so heavily fandoms that neither were all that involved in bc??? #there's less of these toxic and painful memories #but im sobs bc i MISS these things that made me find such joy and love #idk im rambling but long story short #2024 is hopefully the year i stop avoiding things bc of bad memories and work through it instead with the healthier mindset i have now #tbd

[bidokja]

so like. was anyone. was anyone gonna warn me that. the "baekyeon and haero" chapters in mystic prince would just. rip my heart directly out of my chest. and then shred it into pieces right in front of me. was anyone gonna warn me. was anyone gonna-

#i need you all to Hear how broken i am and how i gradually sound more frantic throughout this post #i know i am prone to hyperbole but i am being so real with yall when i say the tears have literally not stopped #even as i type this #AND LIKE. YOU KNOW GOING IN THAT THIS DOESNT END HAPPILY. YOU ALREADY KNOW!!! #and knowing does as much to stop the pain as a piece of paper does to stop a deluge #jesus. CHRIST. holy SHIT #AND I READ IT WITH THE SOUNDTRACK. WHICH MADE IT JUST. 10x WORSE CAUSE ITS PERFECTLY TIMED. #EVERY TIME THERES A SHIFT IN THE MUSIC YOU REACH A MAJOR BEAT/CHANGE IN THE CHAPTER ITS SOOO PERFECT #GOD #PAIN. AGONY. ETERNAL MISERY. #ooohhh goddd #im literally never recovering from this #i have never encountered a more painful and beautifully executed example of dramatic irony. shakespeare take NOTES #im never gonna be able to go back and re-read this series #cause every time i see the emperor smile i'll just fucking. Explode. and die. and cry and sob. in that order. #mystic prince #ky speaks

[gibbearish]

the thing with autism right. is i know if i was having a full mental health crisis what i would end up doing is going to the emergency room and being like "hello, my name is (x) birthday (y), um i was hoping to talk to you about potential mental health inpatient care? i'm currently having a mental health crisis and don't think i can be trusted on my own" like if there's one thing i can be sure will live on in me no matter how hard the brainworms try. is my fucking customer service voice

#like itll be busted as fuck because ill be freaking out but you bet ill be sobbing my way through verbally drafting an email #ive done it before‚ like im a frustrated crier and once i start crying i cant turn it off so ive had a couple times where i had a breakdown #at work‚ cried about it a lot‚ and my lead pulled me into a meeting room after i calmed down to check in #and as soon as i started talking it just started again so i had to be like 'sorry th-this is just something m-m-my bod-dy does‚ i-i'm calm #m-mentally but i just c-cant turn this-is off‚ just try to i-ignore HIC it and f-f-focus-s on the w-wwwords‚ #(tired of crytyping so just mentally fill it in yourself in everything else i say) #n they offered me more time to chill but im like no really i genuinely am calm‚ i calm down wayyy before my body does its gonna #keep doing this on and off all day‚ it takes hours for it to fully calm down and is on a hair trigger the entire time #so thinking about this will make it kick back up again no matter what unless we talk tomorrow‚ so if youre ok with bearing with me then cool #and theyre like. dang ok and just focused on what i said #or much more recently i was talking to my roommate‚ stopped‚ held up a finger + stood there silently for ten seconds‚ #then was like 'sorry about that‚ i think i have to throw up. excuse me for a moment. what was that? oh gotcha yeah i'll message you if i #need anything‚ thank you' #and just typing it out like that it sounds like i was fine and just saw it coming a ways away. however that is not the case #i had had my covid booster and some other vaccine earlier that day‚ lost 5 vials of blood‚ eaten Nothing‚ drank only #acidic-ass apple juice‚ and had just hit my vape too hard #keeping it in once it made its presence known was a feat of will the likes of which have never been seen before #and still my sentences prevail

[minimoefoe]

my cat just had a tick on her and my dad got it off with tweezers and i did tell him to get right in and try and get the head but i don't think he really did and google is saying that if it was done wrong it could increase chance of infection and that coupled with the weird wound I saw on her yesterday is making me ready to have a full on breadown

#*mycats #my mum does not seem bothered AT ALL and its making me feel fucking insane #like #why isnt she instantly like okay ill look at the tick area #to see if it looks bad or not #AHHHHHHHHH #my mum spoke to the vet and she said we can put salt and water on her wound #which is like.. #im sure that'll be fun to do #starting to think im not built to have pets bc one minor thing happens and im ready to literally sob #i remember my cat was sick years ago and i started crying bc i thought she was gonna die #now when shes sick #which is rare #im like.. thanks for that #so thats growth #but i cant stop thinking about her dying 🙃🙃 #and currently nothing that serious is even happening #so whenever her and my other cat do die oh its gonna be HELL

[dirt-str1der]

Work has ruined me i literally cannot enjoy playing yakuza because of my stomachache like fuck you ....

#Yakuza liveplay #real sorry sbout venting about my poor tortured belly but it hurts so bad #‘whats this have to do with work’ it doesnt i just hate work #i want a ps4 controller or im going to start shaking and sobbing and hugging myself #i hate this xbox controller its the worst thing that has ever happened to me #what do you mean hitting ^ will cause me to hit > and < as well cant i just hit one button at a time #stop inputing random things i hate you you little freak #spits on my controller #and on top of that the ones i planned on biying sold like hotcakes and i will never get to lay my hands on a ps4 controller ever again #actually im not mad anymore #im going to play yk2 karaoke #im going to plqy pride from despair one hundred times because i like it so muchchhh #gonna play heartbreak mermaid as well it is one of my favourite songs ... #yk2 karaoke is so fun ... maybe ill play yk1 too ... fuck maybe ill download ps2 yakuza #oh my god yeah then i can finally see the kiryu lying on haruka scene. sleeping on his little baby #that is such a good idea im so happy ..... baby pillow ... sleeping on baby .... kiss her forehead #i hope to get the dub so i can listen to yuya #GOD I SHOULD GET THE DUB IM SO SMARRTTTTTT ILL GET RIGHT ON THAT

[pinkseas]

train leaves in an hour i leave in 15 minutes i am so scared. so scared. so scared. so scared.

#IM SO MAD I COULDNT FIT THINGS INTO THE MED&SMALL SUITCASES NO IT JUST HAD TO BE THE MED&BIG ONES #and im gonna take up so much space in the hotel room bc all my con&cos stuff only fits into the big one not the medium one #unless i rearrange and bring some things just in hand maybe ????? idkidkidk :sob: #I HATE IT HERE #literally so nervy literally SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO nervy and for WHAT #lord. if i have to climb up and then down those two MASSIVE fucking staircases with my massive fucking suitcases. #im gonna die. im gonna DIE #need to stop thinking about it i am making myself More nervous #alyalyoxenfree

[gh0stgr1nder]

OKAY NOW WHAT THE FU

#THE WAY I WAS SOBBING (LIKE LEGIT ACTUAL TEARS IDK WHAT THIS MOVIES DOING TO ME) AND I JUST FUCKING STOPPED . GIRL OKAY #THE SHOCK FROM THAT . PAUSED THAT SO FAST IM GONNA HAVE TO PROCESS THIS FOR A SECOND