#still experimenting with his design but i think i might be onto something

[mangozic]

michael distortion what a goofy guy

#still experimenting with his design but i think i might be onto something #he’ll probably change in the future but for now there’s the boy #rattles him around in a jar #i have nothing more to offer but sketches #this week has really been kicking my ass #doodling tma to keep myself sane at this point #the magnus archives #tma #michael distortion #fanart #tma fanart #my art #digital art #doodle #sketch

[yournowheregirl]

read my mind

rating: G | wc: 1225 | cw: none

The first word that comes to mind when Eddie steps foot into the Harrington house is ‘chaos’.

Which is weird, because he had come to know Steve’s house as neat and very much put together. It was probably a combination of weekly cleaning and the fact of Mrs. Harrington’s obsession with interior design and keeping everything absolutely perfect, even though she wasn’t there most of the time. But this time there are loose pieces of paper all over the floor and a pile of books in the middle of the hallway, like someone had spent hours researching something.

Eddie also hears some kind of ruckus coming from the kitchen and he prepares himself for the worst. He might not be all that up-to-date with all of the crazy shit that’s been happening in Hawkins over the last few years, but he has been through enough to know that something weird can happen at anytime.

As he approaches the kitchen, Eddie jangles his keys, sliding them between his fingers as a makeshift weapon, just in case. He stomps his feet a little louder than usual and takes a deep breath, preparing for the worst, as he turns the corner.

If he thought the hallway was chaotic, it’s nothing in comparison to what Eddie finds in the kitchen. The clutter of books and loose papers had made its way onto the tiled floor, but it was joined with what looks like miles and miles of tin foil. Eddie’s eyes follow the silver trail to the other side of the kitchen, where he finds the two culprits.

Steve is sitting at the kitchen table with Robin sitting on the floor in between his legs, and while that isn’t something unusual, their accessories definitely are. Because Steve is wearing an absolutely ridiculous tin foil hat, with a pointy end and all, and for a second Eddie wonders if this is a new hair routine for him. Steve is focused on making a hat for Robin, it seems, as he’s wrapping even more tin foil around her head as well.

“What the fuck are you two doing?”

“Babe!” Steve says with a bright smile. “You came at the perfect time!”

“Uh, you invited me, and also, that doesn’t answer my question. What the fuck are you two doing?” Eddie asks again. “Is this the new and improved Steve Harrington hair ritual?”

“No,” Robin replies with a roll of her eyes. “We’re testing out our telepathy.”

Eddie blinks, completely dumbfounded at what Robin had just said. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Yeah, there must have been something in that bunker, or in the Upside Down, something, because we totally have powers now. Like, I always know what Robin’s thinking, for some reason,” Steve says, and oh God, he’s being sincere isn’t he?

“Yes! So today, while I was shelving tapes at work, I was thinking about how the moon landing was totally faked, right? And then Steve just finished my thought, saying ‘oh yeah, they faked it for sure’ like it was nothing,” Robin says excitedly. ”I didn’t even say anything! He just read my mind!”

Now Eddie hasn’t been scared away from the freaky sides of things, it even earned him a nickname, but this is a little too weird. Even for him. There’s no way that Steve and Robin actually have supernatural powers, no matter how hard they try to believe it. But then Eddie notices how excited they both are, and the big smiles on their faces make him smile as well. Sure, they’re being ridiculous right now, but he figures they deserve to be after all they’ve been through.

“Okay, I’ll bite. What can I do to help?”

“Right, so…”

Apparently Robin has raided the Harrington’s personal library on all the science books they had (which Eddie had noticed in the hallway) and cooked up an experiment that will prove once and for all that she and Steve are telepathically connected. All Eddie has to do is a little word association, and if both Robin and Steve write down the same word without looking at each other’s answers, it proves their connection beyond any doubt.

Well, Eddie still has his doubts, but whatever.

Once Steve and Robin are all set, their backs against each other and a piece of paper and pen in hand, Eddie gives them their first word: chocolate. He gives them both five seconds to think of something, but while they look very confident, their answers don’t match up.

“Sorry. Steve said milk and Robin said cocoa,” Eddie tsks. “Not a match.”

“It’s basically the same thing,” Robin scoffs. “Another one.”

“Fine. Your next word is, uh, sun.”

After five seconds, Steve shows his paper, which says summer, while Robin’s says hot. Again, not a match.

“Well, summers are hot, so we’re getting close.” Steve shrugs. “We’ll get the next one, Robs, I can feel it.”

But with every word Eddie throws at them, they continue getting close to a similar answer (Steve answers ‘sky’ while Robin says ‘galaxy’ when Eddie gives them the word ‘star’) but it’s never an exact match. This doesn’t deter them in the slightest; they continue to be convinced of their powers while Eddie starts to believe less and less. Not that he believed it in the first place.

That is until…

“Okay, final one,” Eddie sighs, and because his stomach is rumbling, says, “Hungry.”

Steve and Robin scribble away on their papers and then show Eddie their words in unison. For the first time, they have the exact same word on paper: ‘pasta.’ Eddie must look either shocked or impressed at this turn of events, because Steve positively lights up at the sight of him.

“Did we get it?” He asks, looking over his shoulder at Robin’s paper and beaming when he sees the answer. “Robin! We got it!”

“I knew it! I knew we had a connection!” Robin exclaims. “Do you believe us now, Eddie?”

Eddie huffs in response. “That doesn’t prove anything. You’re just saying that because you were supposed to make pasta today, remember? You invited me over for lasagna?”

“Oh shit. You’re right,” Steve says with a sheepish grin on his face. He carefully removes the tinfoil hat and Eddie tries not to laugh at the ridiculous state of his hair. A very wise decision because he’s rewarded with a quick kiss from Steve. “I guess we got a little distracted. Sorry babe.”

“Yeah, yeah. You’re lucky you’re cute,” Eddie flirts back. “Now, where’s the pasta?”

After the kitchen is cleaned up, Steve starts working on the lasagna. Eddie offers to help, but Steve tells him to just sit back and relax. Well, Eddie can definitely do just that. Robin does get to help though, saying something about the lasagna being her mom’s recipe, so she has the final say with the ingredients.

As Eddie watches them cook together, moving around the kitchen in perfect sync and handing each other spatulas and seasoning without asking for it, he can’t help but wonder if Steve and Robin do have some kind of psychic connection after all.

happy birthday!! @stobinesque 🎉🎁🎂 me and @legitcookie cooked up this little silly stobin brainworm for you to celebrate your birthday!! we hope you enjoyed!

#platonic stobin #steddie #platonic stobin fic #steve harrington #robin buckley #eddie munson #stranger things fic #stranger things #alice's writing adventures

[forgeofthenine]

Hiii can I request the tieflings (zevlor, dammon and rolan) with a significant other who likes to get spanked and is generally into bdsm?

You absolutely can request some BDSM headcanons! I love getting to write a bit of spice for these guys, hope you all enjoy too :)

TW: NSFW under cut, impact play, orgasm denial, overstimulation, bondage, mentions of degradation

The bachelors with a partner that likes BDSM

Dammon

So, we all know by now that Dammon is absolutely no stranger to kinks like BDSM

However, I do think you might have to be the one to float the idea with him first, he's a bit worried about scaring you off

Once you bring it up though, you've unleashed a beast

Out of the three, Dammon is the one most into bondage

He's more than happy to use ropes or silk to tie you to his bedposts, or to tie you up in shibari style bondage

This man is good with his hands, he'd do so many pretty and decorative designs so he can admire them while fucking you

"So pretty, all for me."

In regards to impact play, he's more than ready to spank you

I feel like he'd enjoy swatting at your ass in passing, it's one of the ways you know he's a bit pent up

And in terms of other impact play, let's just say you guys don't need whips or canes when he's already got his tail-

Dammon would also definitely be into a little roleplay

You pretending to be a customer that's a bit short on change, but it's okay because there's something else Dammon will take as payment

Zevlor

Zevlor is the one that needs the most reassurance, he's initially scared that he'll hurt you (despite that being kind of the point)

Ease him into BDSM and soon you'll have reawakened a kink he forgot he had

I feel like he'd really enjoy some temperature play, hot wax in particular

Having you lying down on your stomach as he watches the way you shift and moan with every bit of wax that's dripped onto you

Wax play works him up so much he can't help but grind against you as he drips it down your skin

Zevlor can absolutely be convinced to spank you too

Once he gets comfortable with the idea he'd definitely bend you over his knee and give you exactly what you want

Over time he regains a lot of his confidence and it shows with every strike against your ass

Zevlor will use his tail to hold you still or pull you back into position if you squirm too much, a low murmur leaving him telling you to "be good and stay still"

Call him Commander in bed

It's the easiest way to have him fuck you into the mattress, he'll go near feral as soon as you break out his former title

Rolan

Quite honestly jumps at the chance to experiment with you

You'll find very soon that his preference for bending you over also gives him ample opportunity to spank you

He takes the chance every time too, he's not satisfied until he knows you'll have trouble sitting the next day

If you're okay with it Rolan will be the most likely to bring degradation into his dirty talk

We all know he's good with words, he walks the line between praise and degradation very well, and he loves reducing you to a mess with only words and hands

Please roleplay as a bratty student/apprentice

Rolan is more than happy to put you in your place right there in his office, with you bent over his desk

Also the type to deny you your orgasm until you beg him enough

Once you do beg, well, he's going to let you cum... and then make you do it again and again until you beg to stop

"Now now darling, you were just begging me for this, be good and take it."

Just wait until Rolan does all of these in the same session and makes you feel like you've just seen god

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 x reader #bg3 x reader #baldurs gate 3 smut #bg3 smut #baldurs gate 3 dammon #bg3 dammon #dammon x reader #dammon smut #baldurs gate 3 zevlor #bg3 zevlor #zevlor x reader #zevlor smut #baldurs gate 3 rolan #bg3 rolan #rolan x reader #rolan smut #bri answers

[bonefall]

i'm ngl depicting thunder's prosthetic as a burden is pretty uncomfortable even if it is something some amputees experience because like. there's a huge stigma around prosthetics already you know? it's like having a parent forcibly strap a child into a wheelchair when they don't need it and having a horrible experience with it and that being your only character in a wheelchair. some full-time wheelchair users do resent their wheelchairs but when that's the only time you're bringing it up at all it feels like you're playing into our society's perception of wheelchairs and mobility aids in general as useless and best and divine punishment at worst. idk do let me know if i'm wording this wrong because i really do love better bones! it's just that this detail is... strange.

I mean, I'm open to feedback if that's not something I should do-- but I do actually have other characters in prosthetics and mobility aids! A lot of them! Thunderstar's actually the only one who ends up rejecting his own, because I also wanted to depict that it's bad to force a device onto someone who does not want one.

Especially in circumstances like Thunder Storm's, where that sort of device would be actively unhelpful for his lifestyle. It might help in open field environments like moorland, but then I got more feedback and realized that it would just make a lot of unwanted noise in a forest (since cats have carpal whiskers to help them figure out where to place their paws). Then I figured it was a good way to show how BB!Clear Sky doesn't actually listen to his son's needs and acts differently when he's not "grateful" enough for his gift.

But he's far and away from the only one with a mobility aid or prosthetic!

I haven't figured out Frog entirely yet, but he's going to be the first cat with a "wheelchair" type device, to set up a long line of cats through the generations improving on it (Probably not much more than a reinforced canvas or durable leather, as this was the age of very early flax processing)

Wildfur's the next in the big advancements, even making the Great Journey in his own and getting a side story based around Littlecloud and Cinderpelt collaborating over this

The device is then improved upon by Jessy for Briarlight, giving her a level of independence and confidence that she needs to finally cut her mom out until she learns how to behave

Deadfoot has a brace for his front paw because the joint is loose (it was based on a friend's carpel tunnel bracelet) which is affectionately referred to as The Bonker; his name is also now an Honor Title (Old name: Hoprunner) for inventing a battle move by distracting with his good paw, and then SLAMMING his other limb down hard on his opponent. It's called "deadfooting."

I think mobility devices are super important, usually massively improve quality of life, and I just enjoy designing them, so the choice to portray Thunder Storm's as negative was a very deliberate one that I did in response to what I thought was a desire in representation. Even the fact it's a hind-leg prosthetic was thought out, since those have a much higher satisfaction rate in humans than hand prosthetics, but in a cat would probably be the opposite.

Still, I'm not missing a limb, so now with all of that context presented, do you still think the same thing? Should I just add even more limb prosthetics to make the ratio of satisfied prosthetic users vs Thunder Storm even steeper?

Sunlit Frost is actually going to have a bite on his good paw go septic (the other side has permanent damage from the fire). I could have that paw get amputated and have Thunderstar "return the favor" for how Sunlit Frost created the prosthetic he rejected by helping him build his own. A pawsthetic, if you will

OR would it be better to just remove the subplot of Thunder Storm grappling with/rejecting a prosthetic that is unfitting for him entirely, and have all prosthetics be 100% treated as positive in the narrative?

#I especially want to hear from anyone who happens to be missing limbs or uses some sort of mobility or accessibility device #Ultimately I consider myself a pretty confident and well-read person but I'm just a single guy! #So I'm open to changing stuff if it's not accomplishing what I wanted it to #I'm not perfect and don't know everything. So I try to listen. #Though I will admit that I am a little emotionally attached to Thunder rejecting the leg prosthetic #I WILL drop it and back off if it is unpopular #but in addition to just liking there being an example of a time where one is unwanted and being able to explore *why* #(with a very important and powerful POV character mind you) #I do like the symbolism of it #With him chewing it off after leaving with Sunlit #Like he's literally leaving the expectations of his father behind #And Sunlit complaining about good leather and hard work lmao #BUT that said. It wouldn't be worth it if I was doing something very insensitive SO lmk. #bone babble #disability #prosthetics

[luckycharms1701]

Maybe a request, you can ignore if you don't like the idea tho!

What about f!reader pegging one of the turtles headcanons? i'd ask specifically for Donnie in this one.

�� gonna be real here anon-chan. i’m so glad you’re here but i’m not sure i’m the one to fill this request. see, the problem with sending this to me is that i am a bottom. i am like super bottom. pegging isn’t really my thing. but! the people i would send you to have requests closed right now, so i will do my best to tide you over until you can ask someone else. i am sorry in advance.

edit: uhhhhhhhhhh spicy. so spicy. i uh cannot emphasize enough, 🌶️🌶️🌶️

It definitely starts as an experiment, something he’s heard about and wants to try. When you do, he finds that he loves it. He loves it a Lot.

He creates a strap specifically designed to maximize pleasure for both of you. It takes him a couple of attempts to get it right. The less said about that the better. It’s worth it though, for what he ends up with. A double-sided strap-on, thick and heavy on one side for him and a rabbit on the other side for you. It vibrates. Everywhere.

He always makes sure to get you off before asking you to peg him. The more he wants it, the more orgasms he gives you first. One of his favorite things to do is fuck you with his fingers until you’re practically insensate and then ride you.

Even better when you suggest it. He gets this look on his face and practically tackles you onto the bed. He’s so happy that you enjoy this too that he gets overeager. The clothes practically fly off. Still, he’s the king of prep. Neither of you is doing anything with the strap-on until you’re both ready.

He loves that you can share this experience, getting to fuck someone you love. When he can, he’ll pay attention to how you fuck him and use that knowledge to absolutely devastate you when it’s his turn. You didn’t think he could get better at fucking you, but he proves you wrong.

His favorite thing. Is when you first bottom in him. He’ll whine and beg for more, even knowing you can’t go any further.

~~~~~~~

i. i’m sorry that’s all i’ve got headcanon-wise. however, a little blurb DID pop into my head that’s uh more my speed and therefore might be a little better? maybe? anyway it won’t leave me alone so here you go, a little extra for you. featuring donnie topping from the bottom.

edit: uh. well! that wasn't supposed to happen. what. enjoy?

~~~~~~~

Donnie whines as you bottom in him, and you shudder before forcing yourself to still. You are desperate to rub against the smooth silicone pressing into your clit, but you know what will happen if you do. You try to think about anything else as he continues to whine and pant and writhe, getting used to the strap-on inside of him. He sounds so beautiful, and you answer his whine with a moan of your own. His eyes pop open, and his lips twitch upward.

“Are you ready, baby?” He laughs lowly at how quickly and violently you nod your head, then stretches to reach the bed stand. You can see the way his movement causes him more pleasure, your cock deep inside of him rubbing against his walls. He picks up the remote that haunts your dreams.

The lowest setting immediately sets you to shaking, but you don’t move yet. “Good girl!” Donnie’s praise goes straight to your core, and you can only whine in response. “Look at me. Don’t look away. I want to see you.” You raise your head from where it had fallen to your chest. The desire in his eyes sends an electric thrill through you that causes you to practically gush around the dildo deep inside of you. You start shaking harder for a different reason.

Donnie takes a deep breath and squirms as the vibration courses through him as well. He gets a wicked look in his eye, and an alarm goes off in the part of your brain that isn’t mush. Before you can say a word, he ups the vibration and thrusts upward, pushing the strap-on deeper into you.

You feel the sheets stretch underneath your fingers as your whole body stiffens, desperately holding back the urge to match the way he’s grinding into you. You cannot hold back the scream or the tears though. It takes everything in you to keep your eyes on Donnie. The satisfaction on his face as he drags you to the edge once again does not help with your struggle, and he knows it.

His eyes go half-lidded with his own pleasure as he continues to grind into you. His hand that’s not holding the remote comes up and presses into your lips. You obediently open your mouth and his thumb snakes in and holds your tongue down. “You’re doing so good for me, darling. So, so good.” You hold his gaze, trying to convey your desperation. You’re not sure you could speak even if his fingers weren’t in your mouth.

Donnie leans up and his tongue joins his fingers. He leisurely maps out your mouth, as if he has all the time in the world. Your moan is garbled with all of him in your mouth. He pulls back, hand leaving your mouth and stretching around your neck instead. He stares at you, still grinding hard, and waits. You swallow and open your mouth.

“D-Donnie… please… please!”

His smile is wicked as he clicks the vibration higher, causing both of you to gasp. “A-alright love. You can move.” You barely catch yourself from dropping your head in relief, then you pull back and start to thrust.

~~~~~~~

head bonks: @yorshie @avery73 @justalotoffanfiction @thejudiciousneurotic @writinandcrying

#tmnt #bayverse donnie #bayverse donnie x reader #theory tag #writing tag #that was #supposed to be like a couple of paragraphs #i #maybe i'm more into pegging than i realized #anYWAY

[ahundredtimesover]

we need a please love me argument or something drabble from after they got married and confessed their love for each other!!11!

Hi, they're back! Just a reminder to think of OC's personality bc this is already a 'fight' for her hehe. I don't know how this is bc I'm not in my best form but I still hope you enjoy 🥰

Title: Please Love Me Bonus 07 - The Fight

WC: 14,953

Tags/Warnings: angst; mentions of pregnancy; hospital setting/talks of illness that might be inaccurate (I just based some off my own experience)

Series Masterlist

It started small.

It was a fleeting moment that you barely missed it - one exhale and you felt that knot in your chest that once was familiar. You brushed it off, not thinking much of it. It wasn’t the first time, yet all those other times, once was enough and it didn’t happen again.

But this time wasn’t like that; this time, you felt it once, then another time, then another, the long intervals between knots getting shorter and shorter. 

You try to even out your breathing, grounding yourself so you can listen more to what your body is saying, to what your heart is saying. It starts to work as you count the seconds and the minutes because it starts to go away. It may have taken a lot longer, but just like those other times, this one ends, too.

You’re unable to process what just happened as your phone rings, your husband’s sigh greeting you on the other end.

“Hey, Kook. Everything okay?”

“No. One of the associates gave me wrong figures and I overlooked some elements for my presentation tomorrow,” he groans. “I was gonna stay up late in the office but I’m too pissed off. Are you still at the studio? Can I pick you up?”

“Yeah, I’m just working on my last design,” you reply, already packing up. “And sure. I can call your favorite Japanese restaurant and we can pick up the food on the way home. Is that okay?”

“Yes please. That’s what I really need right now. And you. Be there in 15.”

“I’ll see you, hun. And chin up, you’ll be okay.”

He hums his goodbye and you feel the tiredness from his voice, and the earlier ache in your chest is now replaced by worry for your husband. 

Jungkook rarely lets the toxicity of his job affect him, so hearing him frustrated is something you’re not used to. You feel for him, as the new project he’s taken on is a big one, and you just know he wants nothing more than to prove himself to his family this once. He’s begun having bigger responsibilities after all, and he’s said as much that he wants to step away from his brother’s shadow and be his own self, show that he’s just as capable and can get things done his way, too.

A small smile tugs on your face, knowing that a good meal and some encouragement from you might do the trick. You call the restaurant and head outside once he messages that he’s nearby. 

Mr. Yu, the chauffeur, stops the car and Jungkook exits, enveloping you in a hug and mumbling his hi. He doesn’t even give you time to properly greet him back, as his body curls into yours and you feel him exhale - a deep one, as if he’s been holding onto his breath the whole day. 

“Hi,” you smile, kissing his nose. “The food will be ready in a while. Let’s pick it up and we can talk, okay?”

Jungkook nods and leads you inside, immediately taking your hand like it’s his lifeline. He asks you about your day first and you narrate how it went - ocular of a hall you’ll be designing and then art class for the kids in the afternoon. Then he talks about his - the tense meeting with the staff member who gave him outdated information, the conversation with his father about the expectations for this upcoming project, and having to skip lunch to help his Japan team troubleshoot something. 

“I’m exhausted and my head has been hurting all day but I’ve got so much to do,” he exhales deeply before falling into your lap, your hand reflexively combing his long locks that has him moaning at your touch. 

“Hmm. And how much coffee have you had today?”

“Five cups,” he answers with his eyes closed, his breathing steadying now as you start to massage his temples. 

“That’s 3 cups too much, hun,” you say softly; he said he’d regulate his caffeine intake and you know he’s been trying. 

“I know, I’m sorry,” he sighs. “It’s just been tough, but this is nice. Let’s eat then I can work in the dining room while you watch Masterchef or something?” 

You hum your yes, saying you’ve actually got some design studies to work on so you can both work together downstairs. 

And that’s what happens as you put away your dirty plates after dinner and settle in your respective spots. Jungkook likes to work with you around when he’s at home, only staying in his office off your bedroom when he’s pulling an all-nighter. Having you close calms him down, he’s always said, as your soothing voice and presence give him the most comfort, even if it’s just a quick look at your expression as you watch TV or your sweet laughter or your tender words. 

“You look serious there, babe,” he looks over at you from the dining table. “You’ll get wrinkles if you frown too much.”

“I can’t find the right art piece for this one wall,” you groan. “This is gonna keep me up.”

“Maybe you just need to sleep on it. I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” he comforts.

“Hmm, maybe,” you say, your body slowly giving up as it yearns for the bed, chest pains already forgotten. “Join me?”

You walk towards him and sit on his lap as he asks you to, your arms wrapping around his neck.

“Probably in 2 hours or so. I wanna get this presentation finished tonight,” he pouts, apologetic.

“Okay. I’ll wash up and go to bed. Rest soon, okay?”

He holds you a little longer for his goodnight kiss, tickling you before letting you go. 

You walk to your room and fall asleep right away, suddenly feeling as if you’d run a marathon today when your body hits the bed. It seems to have been happening more frequently, though - feeling incredibly tired at the end of the day, whether you had a full-packed schedule or a light one. You went to a boutique store yesterday and painted at home then felt dizzy and faint by the evening. 

It’s 4 hours later when you suddenly wake up, a mix of that knot on your chest and shortness of breath almost jerking you off the bed. But you catch yourself, turning to the side to see if you’d somehow disturbed Jungkook’s sleep, but you’re surprised to find he’s not there. You see light coming from the office and your husband’s mumbling, and so you get up and walk over to him.

“Kook, it’s past 2,” you stand by the door and sleepily call out to him. “Come to bed.”

“Baby, what are you doing up?” He turns to you with a frown, his long locks almost covering the glasses over his eyes.

“Just woke up. It’s hard to sleep without you,” you frown back. 

“Sorry. I’m finishing up already,” he turns again towards his laptop.

“You can do that tomorrow. Just wake up early but sleep now. You’ve had a long day, come on.”

With you standing behind him and your arms around his neck, you pepper his cheeks with kisses to further convince him, knowing you need to shower him with affection so he’d listen to you. 

And it works, as he chuckles and turns his laptop off. He heads to the bathroom to wash up while you lay in bed facing his side as you regulate your breathing again, feeling the tightness subside with every set of breaths. 

He lies down next to you and kisses your lips before you turn around so your back faces him, his arms enveloping you, with him pulling you as close as he possibly can. Jungkook buries his head in your neck and finds his peace there. 

“It’s hard to sleep without this, too,” he hums. “Love you. See you in my dreams.”

It started small, like it always does. 

A pinch in the muscle - one, two, three seconds longer than usual; one, two, three instances more than what you’ve been having. You try to take a breath, knowing it’s what’s always worked, but it doesn’t this time. This time, your chest feels tight, too, like something is keeping you from breathing, like you’re gasping for air in the large space of the art studio. 

“Hey, do you need some help to pack up?” The teacher for the next class asks; you can already hear the giggles of her little students not far away.

You try to pick up your tools from the desk but your hands and arms feel numb. This will take time, you think, so you smile at her and nod, letting her put away some of the palettes that your kids have left behind. You walk slowly, unable to fully feel your legs, too, and that’s when you start to panic.

“Everything okay?” She looks at you worriedly. “You look a little pale.”

“Oh? Just tired, I guess,” you fake a smile. “I’ll just, uh…”

“Rest, ___. You’ve been working hard on your project and your exhibition. You don’t want all that to catch up to you.”

Too late, you tell yourself, as the helplessness that once was familiar starts to overtake you. You just nod and assure her, then fortunately manage to walk out the street for fresh air and take some medicine. You’re relieved that those at least work, lessening the pain that you’re feeling. 

But you know you’re not out of the woods yet, and so you raise your arm to hail a cab, thankful that the hospital is only a 15-minute drive away. 

You settle in the backseat, ready to dial Jungkook’s number when you read the text he’d sent an hour ago - I don’t know why I’m so nervous, babe. I’ve barely eaten anything all day. But thanks. I’ll let you know how it goes. 

You’d messaged him earlier, wishing him well for his presentation today, and you know how much this means to him. He’s worked so hard on this; it’s a big project and the directors have got their eyes on him. There’s no way you’ll add to the stress that he’s been experiencing for the last few weeks. 

It’s a little past 2 and he’s set to present a quarter before 3. His palms are probably already sweating as he dries them on his shaking legs. He’s never been nervous for any of soccer matches even when he was a teenager, but you’d understand if this is the one thing that’s making him lose his cool a little bit; he may never directly say it but you know he just wants to impress the big bosses, and that includes his father and yours. 

You decide against calling him for now. Your breathing has evened out already, and you still think it’s just one of those moments and there’s nothing to worry about. You were always told that this could still happen, after all, but that doesn’t necessarily mean a relapse. It happened a few years ago and all you did was have a change in medication and all was fine after. Like then, this may as well be just a minor thing that you can easily get over on your own. You’ll call Jungkook after you know more about what’s happening to you, knowing he’ll be asking anyway, and not giving him an answer immediately will just scare him.

The emergency room has less people than you expected, although you can say you’re probably the calmest out of all the patients there. Given, you’re in one piece and not puking your guts out so you believe you’re fine, but the attending physician doesn’t seem convinced, as you narrate what you’re feeling.

“Your heartbeat is irregular and your blood pressure is quite low,” she informs you after doing the basics. She looks through your record and confirms your condition. “No relapse since your surgery 15 years ago,” she reads. “No reported abnormalities, no alarming findings… but these are still from last year.”

“Yes, I’m due for my annual check up in 2 months,” you say, as you sit on the hospital bed. 

“Well, seems like you’re due now,” she hums, excusing herself to make a call then returning to you. “Dr. Kwon is just finishing with surgery so he’ll see you after, but I’ll have you run some tests already. We’ll call you for x-ray in a while. We’ll take blood samples as well just to be sure.”

You nod, suddenly feeling nervous. These tests are routinary for you at this point; you take it every year every time you have your check-up, the one you’ve been having since the surgery that corrected your heart over a decade ago. 

But you’ve never had to come back to the hospital out of your usual schedule ever since you fully recovered. Because any pain you’d felt since then was never serious; it never lingered, it never left you feeling breathless or numb. It never got you feeling weak, and it definitely never had you feel this anxious because it had never hurt this way. 

It’s 3:30 by the time you finish filling up all the forms, and though you know nothing more than an irregular heartbeat and low blood pressure, you decide to send Jungkook a text to let him know where you are, knowing his presentation would be done by now. But right as you’re about to, the technician calls your name for the x-ray, and it’s not until several minutes later when you get your phone back and decide to just give him a call.

He doesn’t pick up after the third try, so you go for your next option and call Junghyun, as he knows that you only ever call when something is up.

“Hey, ___. You okay?” He answers. 

“Hi. Is Jungkook still presenting?” Your voice quivers. 

“He’s done but he’s somewhere in front answering questions,” Junghyun responds.

“Did he do well?” You ask, wanting to know.

“He was really nervous but everyone was impressed,” the older man smiles. “Were you the one calling him? He left his phone in his seat and I saw it light up.”

“Yeah, I, uh… Once he’s free, can you just let him know that I’m in the ER? My chest felt tight and—”

“You’re what?” He almost yells, his voice in a panic. “What happened? How are you feeling now?”

“I’m fine… I think,” you sigh. “It was just chest pains. I’ll see Dr. Kwon in a while then I’ll know more.”

“Fuck, okay. Who’s with you?”

“Just me.”

There’s a pause in the other end. “What are you doing now?”

“Waiting for the next tests. Can you, uh, can you let Jungkook know once he’s done there?”

“I’m telling him now, ___. You’re in the emergency room and he needs to be there with you.”

“Okay,” your voice shrivels, not used to Junghyun’s authoritative tone. “I’m being called for my ECG. I’ll, uh, I’ll be waiting for him.”

Junghyun drops the call and returns to the conference room. He immediately walks to his brother and whispers what you’d said.

Jungkook’s eyes widen in shock, worry and distress painting them. He quickly excuses himself and runs out the door, leaving the older man to explain to their father and yours what had happened, both of whom panic as well and make calls. 

It’s another red light that Jungkook beats, and he makes it to the hospital in 15 minutes, almost half of the usual time it takes to get there from his office. He asks around the ER where you are, and he’s directed to a room where he finds you lying in bed, looking perfectly normal, save for your furrowed brows as you seem to be answering messages on your phone.

“Baby!” He exclaims, rushing towards you and taking you in his arms. “What happened? What hurts?”

“Hey, honey,” you look up at him and smile nervously. “I’m fine, I just…”

“Babe, you can’t be fine when you’re here. Your check-up isn’t due in 2 months. What… what brought you here?”

“I was, uh, I was having—”

“___,” the familiar voice of Dr. Kwon calls out for you, prompting you to turn to him. “I wish I could say I’m happy to see you before our scheduled check-up, but it’s never a good thing seeing a patient here before I’m supposed to.”

“Hi,” you smile, returning his hug. “I suppose it isn’t. But I didn’t know what to do. It was getting too painful.”

“Tell me what happened,” he instructs.

And so you do, telling him of the times you’d experienced this since your last meeting, and how it had hurt too much earlier, forcing you to come here. Jungkook holds your hand the entire time, and you’re immersed in your narration that you miss the way his jaws clench and unclench as he listens to your stories.

Clearly this isn’t the first time it’s happened, although it’s the first time that he’s hearing about it. It seems like you’ve been experiencing this and chose not to tell him.

“What do you think may have triggered it?” Dr. Kwon asks.

“I don’t really know,” you shrug. “I mean, I’ve sort of been doing the same things - working at the firm, doing my own pieces, teaching art classes… just focused on my regular job.”

“Looks like it’s 2 jobs too many,” he responds, his eyebrow arching the way that doctors do when they catch you doing something you shouldn’t.

“I rest and exercise and take my medication,” you counter. “All the work is fine. It’s an imperfect heart we’re working with, you know?” You giggle, trying to diffuse the tension.

Dr. Kwon just shakes his head and returns to his records. “So you’ve got the x-ray and ECG done. You’ll have blood tests after this then we can do the 2D echo in the evening after I schedule it. I’ll need you to be confined for the other tests.”

“What other tests? Can’t I come back tomorrow and do them then?” You ask, not really keen on spending the night at the hospital. 

“It’ll be easier to monitor you from here, especially since the pain seems recurring. But I’ll schedule the stress test and MRI tomorrow morning so you can go home right after,” he responds. “Better ask someone to pack you and your husband some clothes. I’ll have the nurse pick you up to bring you to your room; just wait here.”

You nod as Jungkook lets go of your hand. 

“You’ve had 2 tests done already? What time did you get here?” He asks, his voice low and disappointed.

“Around 2:30,” you respond casually. 

Jungkook feels his own heart rate shoot up. It’s 4PM, and he’s sure it was just half an hour ago when his brother had cut off their discussions to tell him that you’d called about your whereabouts. The fact that you didn’t call him - your husband - much earlier is making him incredibly upset. He wants to ask you why you’d delayed it, why you’ve been keeping all this from him, when you planned on telling him if it didn’t get this bad.

But knowing you, you’d pick up on this, and he doesn’t want to add to you feeling any more pain that you apparently have been experiencing, so he takes a breath and lets things go for now, and he just nods. 

He gazes at you looking pale and nervous, and he tries to think of how you may be feeling - back in the hospital when you’d believed everything was already okay. 

“Baby,” he says, cupping your face so you’d look at him. “We have to believe that things are fine, alright? That this isn’t serious. Worrying too much might make things worse.”

They’re things he doesn’t fully believe in himself. He doesn’t know what’s going on. He never experienced this with you; he hadn’t even known about your condition until 3 years ago, and he doesn’t know how you are when you’re in pain and what you need him to do or be for you. But he has to put aside his own concerns because this is about you, and the only thing he knows to be right now is strong so you can take that strength from him, too. 

You smile, much more genuinely than you did earlier, and Jungkook thinks it’s a good first step. 

“I’ll be okay, hun. Sorry I pulled you out of your meeting. Junghyun said that you did well, though,” you say, pulling him into a hug, your arms finally wrapping around his waist while his envelopes around yours. 

“Yeah, but it doesn’t really matter. You were here in pain while I was doing my presentation when I could’ve been with you,” he replies, trying to temper his voice. “I could’ve screwed up or completely missed it for all I care.”

“Nonsense, Kook,” you turn to him again. “You’ve been working so hard on that. I managed to get here on my own.”

You rest your head on his torso, not seeing his hardened and helpless face at how you casually dismiss what you’re experiencing and talk about his work like it’s all that matters when you’re the one in the hospital right now. 

You still should’ve called, he wants so badly to say. I would’ve come here right away. But he decides against it. He was never good at bottling his feelings; he supposes he needs to learn that from you. He does it anyway, knowing that this isn’t the time nor place to get mad at you for it. 

“Kook, can you be the one to talk to my mother?” You ask, giving him your phone. “She’s been calling and I’m too dizzy to rehash everything.”

“Okay, I will,” he responds, guiding you to lay on the bed and letting you take a nap first.

He calls your mother, then his, then your brother and sister, and then Nari and Yeji. There are so many people to update about your status but he pushes through it, despite the same words of you experiencing pain and needing to be monitored for the night becoming harder and harder for him to say. 

“She seems fine, just looks tired as of now,” Jungkook informs each one. “We’ll know more tomorrow.”

They’ll drop by in the evening, they all say, and he’s thankful that there’ll at least be distractions, and he won’t have to be with you alone for long. He supposes that’s better, otherwise he’ll be tempted to push for answers on why you kept all this from him. 

He calls Mr. Yu and Mrs. Na and instructs them to prepare your clothes for your stay and bring them over to the hospital. “Please buy a box of macarons on your way here,” he tells the chauffeur. “And her chamomile tea as well.”

Jungkook sits on the chair next to you and watches you take your nap. He sees you take deep breaths and he can sense your struggle, causing him to worry once more. You catch yourself and jerk awake.

“Was it hurting again?” He asks.

“A little,” you respond, raising yourself up off the bed. 

“Just keep breathing. Here, drink some water.”

You follow as he says, and that’s when the nurse arrives and informs you that the VIP room is ready. You’re led there by wheelchair - an all too familiar scene - and Jungkook helps you lie down on the bed. The nurse takes blood samples and informs you of the scheduled test in 2 hours then leaves you right after.

“Tell me about your presentation,” you urge your husband. “What did they say?”

Work is the last thing that Jungkook wants to be talking about right now. He hates thinking about being in that room while you were here and all alone. You smile tenderly, as if you really want to know what took place, so he forces himself to think about it. 

“That the project proposal was well-designed and well-thought out. I set out the plans and the entire process and got to show the expected outcomes and return of investment,” he explains. “They said it was sound and profitable, and that they were surprised I pulled it off on my own.”

“It’s silly that they still doubt you,” you frown. “Of course you’d pull it off. You’re innovative and incredibly hardworking, honey. They should know that by now.”

“Nah, I'm used to it,” he shrugs. “They’d take every chance they get to remind me that I’m not my brother.”

“And you aren’t, because you’re your own self with your strengths and own conviction. And don’t tell Junghyun, but you’re definitely funnier.”

Jungkook manages to chuckle a little, and your smile grows at the sound. “That last bit is definitely true,” he hums. “Thanks, babe. Though I didn’t mean to be so down.”

“Not at all. I just wanted to remind you of how good you are,” you comfort him, reaching out your hand that he takes. You sit up and pull him close. “You’re so good at so many things. Remember that.” 

You cup his cheeks and kiss his lips, something you realize you haven’t done since he got here. It’s slow and gentle, which is exactly what you need after a scary experience; all you’ve been wanting is his touch and the comfort you get from being close to him.

Jungkook indulges you, kissing you back with just as much tenderness, and you smile against him, knowing that whatever happens, you have him next to you. And as long as he is, there’s nothing to be afraid of.

The knock on the door pulls you both apart, and you hear the familiar voices of both your parents and siblings who all hug you one by one. 

A flurry of questions about how you’re feeling and what will happen next overwhelm you but you should’ve expected this; no one really thought you’d be back here after all these years. 

Shortly after, your friends arrive and you have to say the same things, and you fumble for Jungkook’s hand next to you to keep you stable. 

You dislike this part - the one where everyone is worried and no answer or assurance from you would be enough, and you hate that they have to go through that anxiety of not knowing as well. But you just smile through it and downplay the pain. 

“It’s probably nothing; it’s more like a precaution thing, you know?” You reason. “I’m fine. Please, don’t worry too much.”

You mask the desperation with your smile, and you’re almost glad that Dr. Kwon enters and informs you that the nurses will start prepping you for your 2D echo. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Kim,” he greets. “Not so great to see both of you.”

“Likewise,” your parents chuckle. “It’s never a good thing being back here, huh? But what happened? Why is she experiencing this so suddenly?”

“Well, your daughter did say that the chest pains have been recurring,” he responds. 

“They have?” Your parents frown at you.

“They weren’t that bad,” you reason. “I mean, they weren’t painful to warrant a visit.”

“But this time it was,” Seokjin crosses his arms, looking disappointed. “And to the emergency room at that.”

“I didn’t faint or anything,” you reason. “Look, I’m fine now. It’s probably just stress. ”

“___, what did I say about stress? You’re not just like anyone who can experience it and then be fine. It’s not that simple,” Dr. Kwon warns. 

“I know,” you whisper, feeling like that 13-year old child again who felt helpless when she was first told of the many things she couldn’t do despite having a normally functioning heart already. You’d like to think you’ve followed all the rules since then; it’s just lately when you’ve been more brave and wanting to do more.

“But is she going to be okay?” Soyeon asks this time.

“I suppose. The test results aren’t alarming and it seems it’s still bearable, but we’ll know more tomorrow,” he responds. “For now, she just needs to rest and take things easy.”

Everyone nods in agreement. The door opens with the nurses taking you away to be prepped. Jungkook kisses your forehead and tells you to just push through it and that it will be fine; you always said you disliked the pain from this specific test. 

Back in the room, Jungkook feels light-headed. Perhaps he’s still reeling over seeing you on a hospital bed, being wheeled out and leaving him behind to wonder how much pain you’re in or how your heart looks like. Maybe it’s being in the room with your family and friends and all their questions that he doesn’t have answers to. He thinks it’s this new experience for him - this kind of fear that he’s never experienced before. It’s probably all of those, so he excuses himself to buy some snacks in the store just to get out of there.

Seokjin promptly follows his brother-in-law. “I want some snacks, too,” he responds after the younger man looks at him questioningly. 

They walk in silence for a while before Seokjin asks. “Did you know about the other times?”

“No,” Jungkook almost whispers, his hands in his pockets as he mindlessly walks down the hallway. “She also only called earlier after 2 tests were done. I feel so fucking useless.”

“Hey, you aren’t, okay?” Seokjin sighs. 

“If I wasn’t then I should’ve known about all the other times, and I could’ve convinced her to get checked earlier. Then she wouldn’t have needed to come here like this; then it wouldn’t have been this painful,” Jungkook responds, his voice more helpless now.

“Kook, you wouldn’t have known if she hadn’t told you. You’re not together 24/7. I love my sister but sometimes she tends to brush things off like that, thinking that the short-term burden of her sickness will just go away. But not this time. We just have to believe it’s not serious.”

Jungkook just nods, all the thoughts screaming at him and he just wants to lay next to you but also be away from you because how could you keep something like this from him. 

There aren’t any more words exchanged, but Seokjin stays with his brother-in-law as they buy snacks and walk towards the wing where you are, probably currently squirming in pain as your chest is being pressed to get that image of your heart. 

It’s some time later when they hear Dr. Kwon’s voice, calling for them.

“Jungkook,” he says. “It’s not surgery. You don’t have to be waiting here.” There’s a soft smile on his face, however, so that calms the younger man down a little.

“Just wanted to immediately know how she is,” he responds. “___ said she doesn’t like this test.”

“Ah, yeah she doesn’t,” Dr. Kwon chuckles. “She would pout her way out of even if she knows it won’t work. She did say she wished you were there with her though, holding her hand.”

“But what did you see?” Seokjin asks. 

“A tired heart,” Dr. Kwon replies. “I honestly hope that’s all, but I’ll have to look through all the test results to be sure that there isn’t anything else.”

Your husband and brother sigh in relief. 

“But keep an eye on her, okay?” The doctor tells Jungkook. “She mentioned feeling pain when she’s asleep so watch out for that. She just needs to breathe and be soothed. The tests tomorrow will tell me more but I can already tell you that she needs to rest.”

“I’ll make sure of that,” Jungkook responds, his eyes softening at the sight of you smiling when you see him.

“You were waiting for me?” You ask.

Jungkook only nods but your brother responds, “everyone was so noisy in the room so we walked around. And got some snacks.”

You smile at them as they walk with you while being wheeled away to your room. You enter and sense the aroma of beef bone soup, and Minhyuk grins proudly at your satisfied face.

“You always said that hospital food didn’t excite you,” he says. 

You express your thanks and the nurse announces your need to rest after dinner, prompting everyone to decide on leaving already. 

Seokjin, who’d earlier sensed your husband’s own stress, whispers to him. “Just hold it in for now, okay? She’ll be alright.”

As the last parson leaves, Jungkook sits next to you on the bed and you both eat the delicious meal. He surprises you with the dessert he had bought and prepares your tea as you like to take before sleeping.

“Thank you, Kook,” you exclaim, kissing his cheek. “I’ll just wash up so we can both rest.”

“Do you need help?” 

“I’m fine, I can do it in my own,” you assure him, disappearing into the bathroom. 

Left alone for awhile, Jungkook takes to heart what your brother had advised him - hold it in for now. Knowing that you tend to absorb your husband’s own emotions - as you’d said once that it’s natural for you, that it’s how you get to empathize with him - he does as he’s told. He holds it in - the disappointment, the sadness, the doubt… and tells himself that this is about you and what’s best for you right now. 

You finish up and he helps you in bed, then he washes himself, exiting the bathroom in his shirt and pajama pants. 

“Do you want me to sleep next to you?” He asks. “You always said it’s hard to sleep without me.”

He gives the idea, knowing that it’s the only way for him to know if you feel pain while in slumber. He doesn’t think he trusts you in telling him otherwise. 

“Yes, can you?” You ask excitedly.

“I guess? It’s a big bed. I’m sure we’ll fit.”

So he scoots in next to you as you give him space, and you immediately wrap your arms around his torso as he wraps one around your shoulder. He supports himself against the headboard with his other arm behind his head.

He lets you listen to his heartbeat, confident that they’re perfectly normal, as if he isn’t buzzing deep inside.

“So how was your day going before all this happened?” He asks to eliminate the silence that’s suddenly feeling awkward for him. 

“I was just at the studio,” you respond, snuggling next to him and enjoying the comfort of his warm body. “I got to finish a design study and then had class with the kids.”

“Did it start hurting then?” 

“Hmm, right after, just when I was fixing up,” you say, slowly dozing off. 

Having your class schedule memorized because it’s your favorite thing to talk about, Jungkook knows what time that was, and he knows you could’ve informed him then if you wanted. But you didn’t. 

“So you just came here on your own?”

“Yeah,” you hum. “I hailed a cab. It’s a good thing that the hospital’s just near the studio.”

What if it wasn’t, he thinks. What if you were driving when it happened? What if there were no available cabs and it took long for you to get here? What if you were somewhere else where no one knew you? What if something worse had happened, and then he wouldn’t have known it at all because you waited so long to call him? 

“Why didn’t you call me?” He manages to ask. 

Somehow he has an idea of what you’ll say. You’ve only been married awhile but he knows enough about your courteousness, how you don’t like to burden other people, how you always put others before yourself. You’d developed that attitude because you don’t like being fussed over; you dislike having others worry about you. He noticed it earlier when you took his hand and held onto it tightly as your loved ones asked how you were feeling. And so he knows what’s coming next. He just didn’t think it would hurt and anger him this much.

“You were busy with work, Kook,” you mumble, and he knows you’re about to fall asleep. “Felt like I could manage and I did.”

What if you didn’t, he thinks again. What if it was someone else who’d called him? What would he do then?

“Sorry,” you add. “Just didn’t want to worry you.”

He hears you take a long breath and the succeeding low snores let him know you’ve fallen asleep. It’s been a long day for you, after all. 

It’s been a long one for him, too. But unlike you, he’s filled with too many emotions to fall asleep. And contrary to what you wanted, he’s worrying even more. He’s worried about your condition. And he’s worried about himself. 

Hold it in for now, Seokjin had told him. 

Jungkook will try. But he doesn’t know for how long he can, and he doesn’t know how he’ll deal with you - how you’ll deal with it - once he’s unable to keep it in anymore.

Jungkook didn’t get a wink of sleep. Other than being unable to because he wanted to make sure that he’d be awake should you feel any sort of pain, he also couldn’t help but think about what you’d said. 

In your few years of being married, you’d had small and brief arguments, mostly stemming from how incredibly different you both deal with emotions and conflict. 

You tend to be unnecessarily courteous at times and too patient. You also prefer to let tension fade rather than addressing it, so more than half the time, any negative emotions you have are kept in and rarely ever mentioned. You don’t hold grudges, though, and you easily forgive, unlike Jungkook who’s always very transparent about what he feels. He talks about things, and he always talks about them with you, whether it’s about you or something else. 

Despite all this, your little misunderstandings never escalated. They never really lasted, because more than half the time, he’s the one crawling next to you, hugging you tightly and saying that he doesn’t care whose fault it is, just that he wants to be okay again. He admits that a lot of times, it’s on him. He gets too emotional, too proud, too shortsighted, and unable to let things go. But right now, he doesn’t care if he’s all of that. He’ll feel what he’s feeling; he just won’t be able to express it fully.

The knock on the door puts him out of his thoughts. The nurse enters and Jungkook has to wake you for your MRI and stress test today. 

“You’ll be okay to wait here?” You ask, as you watch him from the bathroom door.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Just think about what you’ll do this morning. Don’t worry about me,” he says dryly. 

“Okay, I’ll see you after.”

You’re wheeled out and Jungkook allows himself to fall asleep. He’s still exhausted from preparing for his presentation yesterday, and he’s dealing with too many thoughts in his head about you, about both of you, and an hour or so of slumber is what he needs.

He’s awoken by a phone call over an hour later, and he’s reminded that he failed to inform his team that he won’t be going to the office today. Perks of being the CEO’s son, he tells himself, but he also can’t bring himself to think about work and the project that he has to fine tune for immediate implementation. 

All he can think about is you. And despite feeling anger and hurt, he also just wants you to feel okay. He hopes that deal that your parents made with the universe when you were born - the one where they asked to keep you alive and they’ll give you a life you’ll be happy with in return - holds up for the longest it possibly can. Regardless of what he feels about you, he also knows that seeing you smile can make him forget about his own pain.

And that’s what happens, albeit temporarily, when you return to the room and see a breakfast spread prepared for you, one that Jungkook had asked Mr. Yu to buy.

You smell the carnations that’s come with your meal and your face lights up.

“Where did you get this, Kook?”

“There’s a flower shop in the other building,” he responds. “Thought that can make you feel better.”

“Of course,” you say, walking towards him where he’s seated on the day bed. “But you’re also here and that's really all I need.”

Then why didn’t you ask me to come earlier, the question rings in his head. But he lets it stay there. For all the times that he’d willingly and easily put you first, he didn’t think that holding all his emotions in for your sake would be the hardest. 

He hugs you back then lets you rest your head on his shoulders as you talk about the tests and that you have 2 hours before Dr. Kwon can meet you for the results and diagnosis. 

You and Jungkook use the time to eat, take a shower, and pack your things. It’s not long after when you’re in your cardiologist’s clinic where he explains your condition.

“As I suspected, your heart is overworking,” he says. “Fortunately, the tests show no holes, no enlargement, or any other complications.”

You breathe a sigh of relief and take Jungkook’s hand. You didn’t want to be thinking of the worst and this is definitely not it. It had hurt so much yesterday that you were almost sure there was something severely wrong again, but this is actually welcome news. At least it’s something you know; it’s something that you can deal with, and it’s something you can easily address.

“What’s causing it?” Jungkook asks.

“Stress, perhaps. And lack of sleep,” the doctor answers, turning to you. “I know you’re eating well and exercising, but there’s still so much you’re doing. All that mental and physical and emotional exhaustion pushes your heart to overwork, to pump blood more than it’s capable of doing.”

“What does this mean, then?” Your husband asks once more. “I mean, what should she do? Will it get worse? How can we prevent this from happening again?”

“She should rest. And I mean, rest.” Dr. Kwon glares at you to emphasize his point. “Take a few days off from work, do some very light exercise, and have a change in medication. It will only get worse if she doesn’t let her heart breathe, if she doesn’t let it take its time to do its job properly. I know it sounds simple but that’s really it; there’s no shortcut to it. It’s just something to be done consistently.”

“Okay,” you hum. “I can take the week off. I can just turn over my design studies at the firm and then get back to it after. And the kids will understand if I don’t see them this weekend. My exhibition also isn’t in 3 months so I have time to get back to my pieces.”

“___, I don’t mean to rest for just this week,” he responds. “You’re gonna have to rethink all the work that you’re doing because it’s too much for you, and this isn’t me telling you what you can or can’t do. Your heart is functioning normally, but it’s still relatively weak, weaker than a normal one’s. Sure, there are things you can do now that you couldn’t before but being perpetually stressed isn’t one of them, okay? And I feel that as long as you’re doing all those things at the same time, you’ll always be at risk.”

“So you’re telling me that I have to let one of those go?” You look up at him, feeling heartbroken that you’re gonna have to give up one of the things that’s been giving you so much joy.

“It’s more practical than cutting off your time in all those. It’s still work, ___. As long as you’re doing all of them, you’re gonna keep spending time on them, and you won’t even notice it.”

You sigh, knowing he’s right. You do so much on a normal day; work doesn’t end even on the weekends. It just doesn’t feel that way because you get to do it at home and you manage your own schedule and you genuinely enjoy it, but you have been feeling the exhaustion all over your body. You know there’s more to lose if you don’t follow his orders.

“Okay then. The next exhibition will be my last for a while,” you announce, deciding right then. 

“Are you sure, babe?” Jungkook asks, surprised. He thought for sure that that would be the last thing you’ll let go. “Don’t you have invitations in Paris and Mexico?”

“I can pass,” you smile faintly. “I’ve still got commissions that I’ll spread out. I’m sure the patrons will understand. There’s this big project at the firm that I’m so excited to do and I can’t abandon my team. And the kids…” you sigh, “I love them too much. They take my stress away so I can’t let go of the art classes that I teach.”

“But you’ve been waiting for the shows, too,” Jungkook reminds you. “Those are huge and not easy to get invited to.”

“I know but there’s gonna be another time,” you say. “And if there isn’t, then that’s fine. I can always paint, Kook, even when I’m gray and old. But all the other things? I can still manage them. I wanna help my team, I wanna teach the kids… those things matter more.”

Other people always matter more, Jungkook tells himself. Your art is what you’ve loved your whole life, he knows that much. 

“It’s really up to you, but it’s good that you’ve thought about it already,” Dr. Kwon says. “You just really need to stabilize your heart for now. I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

“I will,” you smile at him. “And uh, I just want to ask. This won’t affect any future pregnancies, right?”

You nibble your lips, and Jungkook can see the nervousness in your eyes.

“Not unless it’s immediate. Are you both—”

“No,” you interject. “I mean, if it happens then it does but we aren’t really… uh,” you turn to your husband, knowing that despite the last conversation you had about this months ago, you’re still unsure of how comfortable or open he is talking about this. “We haven’t planned everything out yet. But I just wanted to make sure that this whole… overworking heart thing isn’t going to risk me and our future baby. I don’t… I don’t know how I’ll handle a complication.”

“Your condition will always be a factor but you’re not in any more risk than you were before this incident,” Dr. Kwon assures you. “You don’t have to give up everything. But just always consult and make sure you rest. That's really all I can tell you.”

“I’d give it all up when I’m pregnant if I need to,” you giggle, missing the way Jungkook’s gaze saddens at your words. 

Clearly that desire hasn’t waned, and the worry on your face at the thought of what this scare could mean to your future family - one that he’s still not able to give you - says a lot. But that scares him, too. Would you be open about your struggles once you’re pregnant unlike what you’re being now? Would you be honest and open? Would you let him carry your burden with you?

“Well, I guess that’s it, then,” Dr. Kwon announces, handing you the prescription of your new medication. “I’ll see you again in 2 months for your regular check-up.”

You bid your goodbye and head out, taking Jungkook’s hand as you walk to pay the bills. He doesn’t say much, merely humming to your musings the whole time - when you head to the car, on the way home, and when he decides to take an afternoon nap. 

That night, after you both had food delivered for dinner and have washed up, you wait for him in bed as he sends emails to his staff. You kiss him goodnight and turn your back towards him, ready for his tight hug and his nuzzle on your neck. But he doesn’t.

He merely gently lays his hand on your hip and doesn’t pull you close. He doesn’t kiss your shoulders nor tell you he loves you or that he’ll see you in his dreams like he always does. 

There’s silence where there shouldn’t be, and you slowly fall asleep to drown out the worried thoughts in your head. Maybe he’s just tired, you reason to yourself. Maybe he’s still processing what just happened. Either way, it’s just tonight, and you know your husband - he’d never been able to resist you. And you let that comfort you. Tomorrow, things will be back to normal. Tomorrow, you’ll wake up and fall asleep in his arms again.

The mid-morning sun peeking through the blinds provides you with much needed warmth that you’d missed last night. There was no arm wrapped around you, no hot breath on your neck or soft lips on your skin. It felt cold, even with the blanket covering your body, and you have half a mind to go to Jungkook’s office for that morning kiss that you didn’t get and which usually wakes you a little everyday.

But to your surprise, you hear his voice, deep and low as he gives instructions to whoever it is he’s speaking to. You get off the bed and find him in his office nook, in an online meeting with his team. As it looks, he probably decided on working from home to look after you. 

You know that he has to iron out details of the new project and delegate tasks to his team. Those from the Busan and Daegu offices have to be briefed, too, and you can just imagine how much is on his plate yet he’s home because of you. Sighing, you turn around to head to the bathroom when his voice stops you.

“___? Everything okay?”

You look at him and see that he’s turned off his video, his questioning eyes greeting you.

“Yeah, just feeling a bit bad that you have to be home when you should be out there with your team,” you share. There’s a small, selfish part of you that’s glad that you get to spend time with him, though it’s not something that you say.

Jungkook shrugs. “We can manage. Are you feeling better? No pain or anything?”

“Better, yes. And no, no pain,” you reply. “Have you eaten?”

“Yeah,” he responds. “I asked Mrs. Na to stay over for the next few days since I’ll be working from home and I won’t be able to cook for you. She’s downstairs so just tell her what you want.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll go there, then,” you say dryly. You wish he could join you but then again, he’s working from home; he’s not on a break or anything. 

“Just call me if you start to feel anything different.”

You nod and quickly wash up before heading to the kitchen for breakfast, chatting with Mrs. Na. It’s been a while since you’ve caught up with her, the woman who looked after you growing up. 

That whole morning, Jungkook heads downstairs twice only, both times to grab coffee and ask you if you’re feeling okay. You are, and much as you want to tell him not to worry, you want him to seek you out. It seems as if that’s the only time he’s interested in speaking to you, anyway. He’s worked from home a few times and just like when he pulls all-nighters, he’d always insisted on having you close by. 

Not today, though. Ironically, it seems as if he’s home to keep you at a distance. That night, he sleeps late, and so do you. You wait for him to come to bed, ready for even his slightest touch to assure you that he’s here. He does come to bed at 2AM, but the touch doesn’t come. You take a peak over your shoulder and there he is, on his side of the bed, with his back turned against you. 

Jungkook insists on seeing your families that weekend - Saturday with yours and Sunday with his. Being out of the house to feel the fresh air seems quite the experience. You’ve only been cooped up in your house for a few days but you already feel like suffocating, even more with your husband’s passiveness towards you. 

Just as he continued to work at home, so did his minimal conversations with you and absence of affection. He’s kissed your hand a few times and it was only because you were cupping his cheek, but he doesn’t do more, doesn’t say more. You’ve come to expect nothing from him, if you’re being honest. 

You watch from the kitchen of Junghyun’s home as Jungkook speaks to Yeri, massaging his temples, and your sister-in-law, a doctor, seems to be instructing him on what to do and what to take, scribbling something on a pad and giving it to him. 

You reckon that his headache hasn’t gone away, but you wouldn’t know how painful it is because there’s nothing about him now that he’s sharing. He used to pout at you to tend to a small paper cut but somehow, he just can’t bring himself to tell you how he’s feeling and where it hurts. 

“You holding up okay?” Junghyun interrupts your thoughts. 

“For the most part, yeah,” you respond, glancing at your husband again who’s now laid his head on the couch, his eyes closed shut.

“And the other part?” Junghyun cocks an eyebrow.

“Just worried about how stressed Jungkook is,” you sigh. “I wish he’ll give himself time to rest. He barely sleeps. I… I don’t feel him close, especially at night.”

“Well, the project is at its planning stages and he’s managing all the teams from home,” the older man explains. “And then there’s you.”

“Me, the burden,” you sigh, hating the thought.

The older man is familiar with your musings. It’s why you didn’t want people knowing about your condition; it’s why you didn’t want Jungkook to know. You always despised being someone’s baggage, and right now, Junghyun thinks it’s what you feel.

“You really scared him, you know?” He nudges your shoulder to get your attention back that’s focused on your husband. “He’s experienced a car accident, getting lost in a cave, skydiving… yet he’s never been more scared than finding out that you were in the hospital. He looked even more helpless that he wasn’t there with you. And as his brother, I was afraid of how he was gonna take it. You know how he is.”

“Exactly. He worries a lot. Too much sometimes,” you agree. 

“As he should, especially since you don’t. Or at least, since you don’t show it.” 

With your silence, he knows he’s right.

“You were scared, too, weren’t you?” He asks this time. 

You nod, fighting back the tears. “I’d forgotten how it used to hurt. I kept thinking that it was gonna subside, you know? That it was gonna go away right away but it didn’t. And I just didn’t want him to worry too much. I didn’t want him to be scared because I was. I didn’t want him to carry that with him if there was a chance that it really was nothing. I don’t like seeing him helpless, Junghyun. I don’t like seeing him feel like he’s not enough to make it not hurt.”

“I don’t think that’s something you can control, ___. You’re his weakness. There’s nothing that scares or hurts him more than your fears and your pain. That’s kind of what love is, you know?” Junghyun continues. “That’s part of being married. And when you have children, you’ll learn that it’s part of being parents, too. You can’t be the only one carrying it all. That’s what having a partner is all about. It isn’t just you. And it isn’t just about you.”

Jungkook wakes up from the nap he didn’t realize he’s taken and finds you, wrapped in his brother’s arms who seems to be whispering something in your ear as well. He can sense it’s another one of those comforting things that Junghyun’s always given you, and while Jungkook has long accepted that special friendship you share with the man you look up to, it doesn’t take away the small bit of envy over the fact that you trust Junghyun, that you let yourself be honest with him. 

It’s an accepted fact by everyone, including Seokjin who knows that his overprotective tendencies compared to Junghyun’s calm nature have led you to open up to the latter one more. 

But for Jungkook to see you get comfort from someone else who isn’t him and be hurt by it makes him feel hypocritical, especially since he’s been distancing himself from you, too. He only checks up on you just so he won’t lose his mind, but he doesn’t know anything else. 

Are you scared or worried? How bored are you at home? What do you wish to do? Is there a place you want to go to? Do you miss his touch as much as he misses yours? Does it hurt you to be close to him as much as it hurts him? Do you feel angry and disappointed like he is? 

Jungkook wouldn’t know. He also doesn’t know how he can love someone so much yet feel so powerless, so useless, so hurt by them. Your love always made him better, but he didn’t think it would ever let him down like this. 

It’s not pure jealousy he feels when you finally pull away and smile at Junghyun. It’s a mix of emotions, really. Jungkook wants to comfort you but he feels upset. He misses you but he doesn’t want to say anything that would hurt you. He wants to be the one you run to but he can’t bring himself to be close to you. He wants you to feel his love but he doesn’t know how to show it.

You meet his eyes as you turn towards the living room, but Jungkook looks away. He busies himself on his phone and keeps to himself during dinner. He holds your hand during the car ride home when you reach for him and then lets you lay his arm on your waist when you both sleep that night, with your back against his chest while he feels you still so far away. 

He doesn’t get to sleep much just like every night. He worries you’d feel pain again. Somehow he wants to be alert enough to know you’re still breathing; he needs the sound of your soft snores to assure him that you’re alive, that you’re still next to him despite his unwillingness to be close. 

Is this what love is like behind closed doors? He’d been surrounded by his family and yours and only seen the happy parts of it. When it came to Jungkook’s past relationships, he broke it off after the first fight because he didn’t think it was love if it hurt or made him angry like that. 

But now there’s you, and even if he feels every possible negative emotion out there, all he thinks about is just how much he loves you. All he knows is that he can’t live without you. But right now, he also can’t deny that he’s upset. 

Maybe love is like this, he thinks. Once the honeymoon phase has lapsed, your differences surface, and you have to learn how to navigate it all without losing yourself and the other person, without drowning in the depths of both of your shortcomings, and  then coming out the other side still intact and willing to learn and grow. 

Monday comes and you wake up to the sound of keyboard typing once again. Jungkook hasn’t been going to the office despite needing to physically meet the teams who’ll be working on the project, and you hate that he feels like he has to babysit you even if you’re perfectly capable of looking after yourself. Mrs. Na is home; you don’t want Jungkook to have to give up even more than he needs to. 

You don’t bring it up though, not wanting to interrupt him during his incredibly busy day, as he goes from one meeting to another. It’s the next day when you wake up to the same scene that you finally suggest going back to work.

“Hun, you can go to the office, you know?” You say sleepily as you stand by the door. “I’m sure it’ll be easier to manage everything from there. I’m fine here, I promise.”

He turns towards you as he types on his phone. “And if you aren’t, would you call me?” He looks at you pointedly. “Will you let me know this time?”

They don’t seem like rhetorical questions, but they’re not something you want to answer, given the hint of bitterness in them. Jungkook says it blankly, almost devoid of emotions that it shakes you because of how unfamiliar he sounds. 

You don’t answer, and he faces his laptop to continue with his work. “I’m fine here,” he repeats your words. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

You let the next 2 days pass while slowly retreating into yourself. You’re bored out of your mind but you can’t do anything remotely productive or entertaining. Much as you can sneak in time to paint, there’s no thought or inspiration that’s pushing you to create something. The TV shows suddenly seem boring without Jungkook to talk about them with, and even your books can’t keep your attention long enough past one chapter. 

It doesn’t help that you can hear your husband’s frustrated groans as he gets off a phone call or as he types away. His raised voice echoes from his small office down to the living room. You want to let him rest, relieve him in some way, or comfort him like you used to do, but you don’t think any of those would be welcome. He’s told you enough with the absence of his touch that he doesn’t want any of that.

If you’re being honest with yourself, you don’t think he wants you right now either.

Jungkook surprisingly goes to bed early that evening, and he’s tucked under the covers by the time you lay next to him after a warm bath. 

“You feeling alright?” He asks with his eyes still closed, as he feels the dip on the mattress. 

“Yeah,” you muster enough energy to respond. 

“Okay,” he hums, turning to his side away from you again and by now, you’d be surprised if he didn’t. 

You turn on your side, too, content on just imagining his soft smile and the sparkle in his eyes when he speaks to you. Those have gone away somehow, and there’s a twitch in your heart that’s not caused by overworking; it’s caused by the feeling of distance you didn’t think you’d ever feel with the man you’d promised to love your whole life.

It’s afternoon the next day when you find yourself more frustrated than anything. You wanted to go to the park and get some fresh air but Jungkook insisted on going with you, commenting once more that you may not call him if something comes up. It usually takes a lot to make you irate but his snide remarks and aversion towards you have slowly been eating you up inside.

You decided against going out, not wanting to take him away from work, especially as you’d heard him raising his voice at someone on the phone, his groans echoing throughout the loft once more. 

You always loved being around Jungkook. Whether he was busy at work, frustrated over something, or being needy or clingy, he makes you feel wanted. It’s the random kiss on your cheek or his loving glance or the way he’d affectionately call you ‘baby’ or when he’s finally next to you and he doesn’t want to let you go. But right now he’s being confusing - he wants to be where you are but he somehow finds it difficult to be around you, to talk to you, to look at you, to be close to you.

“You should go for a run or head to the gym or something,” you tell him from the living room when he heads down to the kitchen for a glass of water. 

“Why should I?” 

“So you can release your frustrations elsewhere,” you turn to him, looking him straight in the eyes but he looks away. “Your desk will break if you hit it one more time. And you’ve been snapping at your staff and that’s not how you should be treating them. Just go, take a break. Work can wait. You just need to clear your mind.”

“And if I go, would you call if something happens?”

It’s that line again, but by now it’s gotten old. 

“Nothing will, and if something does, I won’t be alone,” you respond. “Yeji and Nari are coming. I asked them over, so you can go spend time on your own. I know you want to, since you can’t seem to stand me. You won’t talk to me, you won’t look at me… might as well just spend a few hours away from me.”

Maybe then you’d start missing me, you don’t say. 

“Fine, I’ll go when they get here.”

He doesn’t refute, he just accepts. In your mind, that’s him agreeing. A part of you hoped he’d say you’re wrong, that you’re just imagining things, or maybe explain why he’s been acting the way he has. It isn’t like him to bite his tongue and not express himself through words. He’d never had a problem doing that, you remind yourself. 

It isn’t like you to let your emotions get the better of you, too, as you let a tear fall when he heads back to your room with no other words said. 

He hears your friends arrive, as not long after they do, he hurries down the stairs and walks out the door, his jacket hood over his head and his gym bag slung over his shoulder.

“Okay, talk to us,” Nari says, as she watches the exchange between you and your husband, a rare sight indeed, as all she’s known of both of you since falling in love was that unabashed joy and affection that’s infectious and heartwarming.

Folding your knees and hugging them tightly, you pout then let the tears fall. “He hasn’t held me since we got back from the hospital,” you say. “He barely talks to me, he doesn’t look at me. He’s cold and irritable and distant, l…” 

You take a deep breath and lean onto Yeri’s shoulder when she pulls you for a hug. “He’s been working at home but his presence is so intimidating and tense.”

“Maybe it’s just work,” your best friend reasons as she hugs you tighter. “Isn’t there a big project that he got approved? It might just be the pressure, you know? And what happened to you is worrisome. Maybe it’s all just piling up.”

“But he’s never been like this,” you insist, sniffing and trying to find your voice. “He doesn’t just ignore me or act like I’m not around. Even with our small arguments before, he’d never spoken to me coldly or bitterly. He’s never…” you trail, feeling the ache in your heart at the newness of this, of this feeling of being unwanted or needed. “Oh god, I feel so silly. I totally sound like a spoiled, bratty, needy wife.”

“Hey,” Nari nudges you and takes you from Yeri, wiping away your tears and urging you to stop excusing your feelings. “You aren’t being silly. If he’s making you feel that way, then he should be a grown up and tell you directly why, not ignore you and make you feel bad about it. You just went through something terrifying, ___. He should be comforting and taking care of you.”

“Do you know why he’s acting that way?” Yeri asks now. “Because I feel like I do. I mean, knowing you and him, it’s not that hard to figure out.”

It’s your tear-stained face and pouty lips that give it away that you have an idea, too, and both women know that as your best friends, they need to be on your side while also knocking some sense into you.

“Why didn’t you tell him what you’ve been experiencing?” Yeri continues. “Why did you keep it all from him?”

“I thought I could just brush them off without having to make him worry,” you finally answer after a long beat of silence. “If it was nothing, then I didn’t want to burden him with unnecessary things.”

“___, we’ve talked about this,” Nari groans, frustrated because this has always been her issue when it comes to you, how you just brush things off for fear of worrying your loved ones about your condition, without realizing that you’re making the other person feel distrusted, unworthy, powerless. It’s this unnecessary courtesy that she always felt you developed as a coping mechanism because of how overprotected you were growing up, being doted on and treated like a fragile doll who couldn’t break a sweat or be inconvenienced in any way. 

“It’s hard to unlearn,” you mumble, knowing what she means. The only way you felt like your illness would stop defining you was if people didn’t know it still affected you. 

“So what, you’ll just let it affect your health again like this? And now your marriage, too?” She counters. “I know you don’t want it to, so unlearn it faster. And talk to him. It’s the only way.”

You nod, knowing that some days, you just need your best friends to spell out the things you already know, because somehow it makes sense when they’re the ones telling you. 

You sit in between them, anxious about how you’ll face Jungkook when he returns. You were never good at this, and during the few times you and your husband had fought, he’d been the one to initiate talking and working things out, insistent to hold onto your promise to each other of not sleeping until you’ve resolved your issues, no matter how late it already is. But now, he seems to be the one who’s letting it drag on, not wanting to address it or even acknowledge it.

Nari and Yeri help you prepare dinner, as you’d let Mrs. Na go home to attend to family matters. The stew smells amazing, but to be honest, you don’t really have the appetite for it.

They leave after cleaning up, and you’re left with your own thoughts in the quiet of the loft that’s gotten colder, lonelier the past week.

Your heart leaps out of your chest at the sound of the door opening, and you watch in pain as Jungkook merely walks past you and heads towards the stairs. 

“Kook, talk to me,” you beg, voice low yet desperate. “Please. I can’t do this anymore.”

This stops him in his tracks and he turns around, his jaw clenched and his eyes unreadable. 

“I can’t,” he says, turning away. 

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to say things I’ll regret. Because I’m angry and upset and I can’t express any of that when you can have another relapse or something.”

“I don’t care,” you exclaim. “Say whatever you want to, and say it now. Because that’s way better than you blatantly ignoring me. Your hurtful words would be better than none at all.”

“Yeah, because I’m the one who’s hurting you, right?” He says, his voice getting louder now. “I’m the one who doesn’t trust you, who’s not honest with you, who keeps secrets and shit… I’m the one who’s at fault for worrying about you being in pain and then being upset that you kept it all from me. Right? You’re the only one who’s hurting? And not me?”

“That’s not what I meant,” you huff, feeling the tears pool in your eyes again. 

Jungkook decides against saying something, exhaling deeply instead and massaging his temples as he paces around the living room. 

“I was in that fucking room presenting some fucking project while you were in the ER, all on your own, taking tests and just waiting to be told if your illness is back,” he says, seemingly restraining himself. 

“If I could spare you the worry, I would,” you argue. “I just wanted to make sure that it wasn’t anything serious before—”

“Before calling?” He scoffs. “You’re my wife and I won’t forgive myself if anything bad happens to you! So what, you were just gonna wait there for bad news and not let me be there for you? What if it was worse and you didn’t manage to get in a cab? What if the hospital was far away and you fainted? What if something was wrong with your heart again? And then I wouldn’t have been there because you didn’t fucking call! Because I didn’t know you were experiencing all that in the first place! Because of all the things that you chose to keep from me, it was this. As if hiding it from me our entire lives wasn’t enough.”

There it is, all the what-ifs in Jungkook’s mind that he’s always been so scared of. He’s never brought himself to envision you in any sort of pain but then you were, and the intense fear of what could’ve happened swam in his mind, and there’s nothing worse than feeling powerless to protect the love of his life from all that.

“If this is about you feeling guilty that you’re not able to do anything–”

“Fuck it is! That and more!” He yells, the frustration overtaking him. “Don’t you get it? I can’t stand you in pain, and I can’t stand it when you feel like you have to bear it on your own, like you have to spare me or something. Yeah, I’m fucking terrified, but I’m still your husband. And you tell me these things,” he heaves. “I’m sorry I worry, or that I overreact or become dramatic and overly cautious, what do you expect? But you can’t hide this from me. I can’t not be your first call. That’s not fucking fair.” 

“Kook, honey, I’m sorry,” you cry, trying to reach out for him but he pulls his arm away. 

“Are you? You knew what you were doing, ___. You chose not to tell me the first time, and the next, and the one after that. And I had to fucking learn it from my brother again and I just…” Jungkook stops, and you look at him to see that he’s crying, the pain in his eyes so piercing that it’s probably gonna haunt you for days. 

“I know you’ve always turned to him and he’s someone you can be honest with but… why can’t you trust me that way?”

“You know that’s not it,” you try to explain. You know that as much as you can reason that you only called Junghyun because Jungkook wasn’t picking up your calls, your husband would argue that you could’ve called way earlier, and he’d be right.

“Then what is it, ___?” He asks, and you realize that the most painful thing he can say is calling you by your name. 

“You… you’re always the first for me,” he continues. “Whatever I’m feeling, whatever I did that day, you’re the first person I think about, the one I need to tell everything to; you’re always my first call. It’s always you because we promised each other. Through the good and the bad, it’s me and you. And keeping that promise was never hard because I want it to be you. Because I trust you. And to realize that it’s not the same with you just fucking sucks, okay?” He huffs, sounding defeated. 

“What else are you not telling me? That you’re taking more art classes because being with those kids compensates for us not yet having our own because I’m fucking terrified of what that would mean for your health? I mean, how the hell can we have our own kids if you can’t even communicate with me? If you can’t even tell me what you’re feeling? If you don’t even trust that I’ll do everything to ease your pain and be there for you? How could you think that anything else is more important than you are?”

The sob that escapes you is immediate. The scene feels familiar, as the last time you’d cried this hard in front of Jungkook was years ago, in this exact spot, but this time, you know this is on you. 

His words should be comforting - he loves you, and he loves hard, he loves openly, bravely, unapologetically. But all you can see is the hurt in his eyes. And all those times that you promised yourself that you wouldn’t let your illness define you feels stupid and hypocritical now, because here you are, hurting the man you love because you wanted to carry the burden on your own. But as you’re learning, being someone’s partner means sharing all that with them, and trusting that you’ll pull through together. 

Jungkook watches you cry and this feels familiar, too. He never really fully got to remove this very scene from years ago out of his mind no matter how hard he tried. Nothing hurts him more than seeing you like this, but much as he wants to hold you in his arms, he’s afraid to find out that it wouldn’t be enough. 

“I’m not really hungry,” he finally says, changing the subject because he honestly can’t bear talking some more. “I’ll sleep in the guest room tonight.”

He turns around and heads towards the hallway and closes the door, leaving you rooted on the ground to watch him walk away.

There’s a different kind of pain that’s filling your entire body. The one caused by your illness is purely physical, as if you could feel it only the very structure of your organ - it’s straightforward and familiar, something that medication and a few breaths could relieve. 

But the one you’re feeling now is different - you feel it all over. There’s a ringing in your head of all the things that Jungkook had said. Your mind is going through all the times he’d called you first, or put you first, or followed through his promise of sharing his world and his heart and his soul with you. There’s that feeling of something missing - his fingers in between the spaces of yours, his arms around your waist, his soft lips against your own. There’s that absence of the affectionate tone of his voice and his boyish laughter, and it’s like without those, you can’t hear anything at all.

The past week has felt like a month of being without him, or at least, being without his comfort and security. It’s like being stripped off of your basic necessities - everything is hard without him, everything is worthless and unhappy and incomplete without him. 

Is this what it feels like when you carry everything on your own? When you restrain yourself from sharing your fears and your burdens and your pain with someone else? Because sharing the joy - the good things - doubles it; and now you know that sharing the bad things increases it, too. 

You sigh and wipe your tears, thinking of how much more you need to learn about love and marriage and being someone’s lifelong partner. Your grandmother once said you’re so full of love, and you wonder how you could’ve possibly failed at giving it to the person you love the most.

Knees bent against your chest, you hug yourself for that warmth you need, but you aren’t enough for it, as you should know by now. On the other side of the door in the hallway is the person you need, the person you want, the person you love, and there’s no way that you’re going to let him sleep all alone tonight.

Mustering up the courage, you get on your feet and stand outside the room. You want to keep a promise this time, about not sleeping until you’ve both resolved the issue, or at least made up somehow. You don’t want him to go through even just one night thinking that you don’t care enough to face him, to be uncomfortable, to be accountable, because you are. And you want him to know that. 

The door creaks open and you find Jungkook in bed, lying on his back with one arm over his eyes. It’s already been half an hour and you’d be surprised if he’s still crying. But you don’t miss his clenched jaw and fist, the frustration clearly still evident. 

You walk towards the other side of the bed and slowly position yourself - close enough for the distance not to feel too much, but far enough for him to still pull away. 

You reach out for his hand and he flinches a little, but when you uncurl his fingers so you can caress them, he lets you. The sight of your name tattooed on his finger makes you cry again. 

He doesn’t like playing soccer or hitting the gym with his ring on, but he doesn’t want - “even for a second,” he’d said - for there to be no trace of your marriage on him. “Seeing it makes me smile,” he’d told you. “I got to marry the prettiest woman on earth and I know when what I do is over, she’ll be there waiting for me.”

Jungkook has always put you first, in every sense possible. Junghyun told you once that his brother has always sought a high from being reckless, from doing what he wanted, when he wanted, but he’s never wanted to do anything right as much as when it comes to loving you. 

“I don’t have an excuse for how I handled things, and I handled them pretty terribly,” you start, your voice shaking. “I never got to outgrow that selfishness, that need to always prove to everyone that I can handle things on my own. And it’s because of that that I hurt you, Kook. It’s because of that that you’re feeling like I don’t trust you, that you’re not my first call. And I’m so, so sorry.”

His lips quiver, and he nibbles them to keep himself from sobbing again.

“I’ve needed help and assistance for more than half of my life and that feeling of weakness frustrates me; it makes me uncomfortable because I don’t like burdening others. And you’re right, I’ve been unfair to you; I’ve been unfair to us. It’s this fear of disappointing you, of seeing you scared that makes me think that you don’t need to know trivial things like that and I was wrong. I’m so wrong, Kook,” you continue. 

“Because all I’ve wanted this past week was to be with you and tell you I’m scared, that I miss you, that I wish you could comfort me, that I’m so bored and that I want to go out but I want to go out with you. I wanna tell you that my students sent a video, hoping that I’m feeling better and that they’ll be waiting for me. I wanna tell you that I learned how to make egg noodles, and that I’m craving pork soup. I wanna tell you that the medication and rest are working because the chest pains are gone but the palpitations are few and far in between now.”

Wiping your tears, you see that Jungkook is pressing his arm harder on his eyes, and the way he heaves tells you that he’s crying just as much as you are.

“You’ve always tried to understand me and give me my space,” you say. “You’re patient when I don’t open up right away. You make sure to make things easy for me, that I always feel protected and loved and I don’t ever want to take that for granted, Kook. I want to be better; I’ll do better. I’ll love you much better. I just—”

Dark, glassy eyes that are looking at you cut you off, and you see the sadness in them, the care and affection and apology and forgiveness. And somehow, this makes you cry even more. 

Jungkook gently nudges your hand that’s still holding his, and it’s your cue to throw yourself next to his side, your arms immediately wrapping around his torso. He’s warm and safe like you remember, even more when he tightens his hold after you cry harder, with your head laid on his chest. 

You can hear his breathing and his occasional sniffles. You try to inhale his scent with your stuffy nose, but even if you barely can, you know he smells like comfort, and like always, he smells like home. 

“I don’t like it when you cry,” he says softly after a while. “Doesn’t crying make you palpitate or something?”

“A little,” you respond, peeking up at him. His eyes are drier now, but they’re focused on the ceiling. “It was faster earlier but it’s slowed down now.”

“I’m sorry,” he turns to you. “I didn’t… I didn’t mean to say those things the way I did.”

“Don’t be,” you respond, wiping your tears. “I had to hear them, and I don’t blame you for how they came out, either.”

“I… I don’t think I’m angry anymore but I’m still upset,” he says softly, apologetically. “I wish I wasn’t but I just…” he trails.

“It’s okay,” you look at him and smile. “I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry. Take your time. I’ll just be in our room.”

“Okay,” he mumbles.

He kisses your forehead, and the feel of it is all you really need to assure you. 

It’s not ideal. You wish you could sleep next to him, maybe talk about how the past week has been or apologize some more. You don’t want to focus on the fact that this would be the first time that you’d sleep separately. It happens, you tell yourself. You’d rather that he’s honest with you like this, something you couldn’t be to him and you owe him his own space and time. 

You kiss his cheek and get off the bed. “I’ll leave the stew in the oven in case you get hungry. Good night, Kook,” you say, and head out the door.

You settle for fruits for dinner, barely having an appetite as well. You take a long, hot bath and think of all you’ve done, where you went wrong, and what you can do after all this. You meant what you said that you’re going to be better. You always knew you were lacking in many things; you’ve been told that communication isn’t your strongest suit. But you can’t let the doubts creep in because you know Jungkook, and you know you. The last thing you’ll ever doubt is how much you love each other. 

Maybe love is like this, you think to yourself. It hurts because it matters, and people fight because there’s something to fight for but it’s the kind of fight where nobody loses. You and Jungkook are different people and maybe that’s why it works the way it does, but it also doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t constantly work hard to meet each other in the middle. He does, and you will, even harder than before. Being loved by Jungkook is a gift, and being able to love him is a privilege. 

You think about this even more as you lay in bed. It’s colder without him next to you; it feels empty. But you can sleep well knowing he’s taking his own time just downstairs, hopefully missing you, too. 

He asked you to trust him. You always thought that was easy and that it just meant being faithful, that he wouldn’t hurt you. You realize now it’s more than that; that despite the fights and the fears and the tears, it’s trusting that you’re both going to be okay. 

You fill your mind with Jungkook’s smile, knowing that maybe in a few days, you’ll be blessed with that sight again. You don’t know how many scenes and memories you’ve gone through when you feel a dip on the mattress next to you and Jungkook’s arm wrapping around your waist, pulling you close to him. He nuzzles your neck like he always would, and though he doesn’t say or do anything else, you know that this is his way of telling you that he trusts you, too. That he trusts both of you.

Maybe love is like this - it's when you hold each other the tightest after a fight; it’s when you pull the other close even if neither of you wants to say anything; it’s when you’re upset but not enough to spend a night apart. Maybe it’s when you can be honest about being mad but not doubting the other person’s devotion. 

Jungkook’s warm breath against your skin eases your mind and your heart, and you know that whatever happens tomorrow, you’ll wake up with him next to you. It’s been a tough week and a hard night but you think that maybe, this is when you learn to love each other even more. 

Series Masterlist

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#jungkook fic #jungkook angst #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #husband jungkook #bts jungkook #jungkook series #please love me

[erogenousmind]

Ray Gun

“I keep telling you, it’s not a ray gun. I don’t even know what a ray gun is. The elliptic dish is designed to focus the right frequency range of delta waves, but in general, once the network is trained, you don’t even need the dish. Due to the inverse square law for...you know what, never mind. Just sit for a few more minutes while it finishes collecting data.”

Dr. Gehirn looked every bit the mad scientist with his long white lab coat and disheveled hair. Charlotte, for her, part, made the perfect co-ed victim, her long blonde hair and ditzy smile belying her status as an honors student. Electrical engineering and computer science had never been her forte though, so she had been happily quizzing the doctor about his latest experiment even as she participated in it.

“Oh, that’s what these doohickeys are doing, right?” she pointed a manicured and painted fingernail up toward her temple and to one of the electrodes stuck to it with a dot of conducting gel. “That’s so you can read all my brainwaves and stuff, right?”

The doctor sighed. She would be worth it at least, even as tedious as this part was. Despite appearances, she was smart and capable, and, more importantly, trusting. Even if somehow it didn’t work, she would go on her way, none the wiser, not suspecting a thing. “That’s right, Charlotte. Although, they really just make it easier to record. Brainwaves can be picked up from quite a distance, particularly if you know what you are looking for. And in just another moment,” he glanced over to a monitor filled with various windows of numbers and wave forms. “we’ll know exactly what we are looking for.” Another torrent of numbers printed onto the screen. “There we are. The network has now been tuned to your particular brainwave spectrum.”

“Oh neat! So it can like, read my thoughts?” Charlotte bubbled.

“Something like that. But more interesting to my research is the inverse problem. It should actually be able to predict what causes your thoughts. It just needs to validate first. One moment.” The doctor typed furiously for a second, finishing with an overly dramatic stab at the enter key. “This might feel a little odd. You might even feel some strange emotions or feel like thoughts are popping into your head that have no place there. That’s okay. The network is still just learning.”

“So are you making an artificial intelligence thing or something? Oh, is it going to try to act like me or think like me or something? It’d be like I had a twin or something, only it’s a computer. That would be...woa...woah...that’s...um...” Charlotte rocked unsteadily in her seat, a look of concern crossing her face for the first time.

“It’s an artificial neural network, not AI. Everyone confuses them, but it really just a matter of multiplying...ugh, forget it. I’m sorry, my dear, if this is a little unpleasant. It’s just confirming that it can generate the right emotional or mental state based on an electromagnetic input, and it’s quickly cycling through several of them, which must be quite disconcerting. It will pass quickly, I promise.”

“I...I don’t know how I feel. I’m angry for a moment, then excited, then I feel like I want to laugh...it...I don’t think I like it. I think I want it to stop.” She started to reach up toward one of the wires dangling from her head.

“I told you, those are just sensors. The signal is being generated here. We probably don’t even need the contact probes anymore. But there, it all seems to be working correctly. Now the intensity check. How are you feeling right...now?”

Charlotte paused, her hand dangling in the air, looking lost in thought. “I feel...calm...really calm. Just relaxed.” Her hand slowly dropped back down to her side. “Like everything is fine. I thought I should be nervous because you keep messing with my thoughts and some of them felt...strange. But none of that matters right now. I feel happy...content...”

“Very good. And now?” he asked, tapping away at the keyboard.”

“I’m...scared. I’m more scared than I’ve ever been. I still feel so calm though. Passive...But you can mess with my head. You can make me feel what you want with that thing. You were giving me thoughts earlier...and now I’m feeling angry. I feel like you tricked me. You lured me here to mess with my head and I hate you for it. I feel like I want to hurt you...

“It’s so amazing that you were able to make a ray gun that can control my emotions like this. You are so incredibly brilliant. And it’s such an honor that you are testing it on me first. It was my mind you wanted to control first and that’s so exciting...that’s so...hot...mmm....those thoughts you were given me earlier. I don’t think I was supposed to notice them with everything else going on. But I could see myself...with you. I was on my knees looking up at you, and you were so...” Charlotte groaned as she rubbed her thighs together.

The doctor smiled at his subject. “You are doing so well. Thank you for talking through what you were thinking and feeling. You are very perceptive. This...ray gun...is able to control your feelings now. And it can give you thoughts. It knows your mind well enough to give exactly the stimulus to produce whatever response it wants with...” He took the mouse and flicked the scroll wheel over one of the many windows showing row after row of inscrutable numbers. “ 97.4% accuracy. That can probably get a little higher with some more data. But it is certainly good enough for our purposes today. Because you want this now, don’t you? You want me to control your thoughts. You want me to control you. It excites you, doesn’t it?”

The heat between Charlotte’s legs had been building the whole time he spoke. He seemed so powerful to her now. So intelligent and commanding and incredible. Who wouldn’t want to let him think for them? “Yes! More than anything. Use your ray gun on me. Decide what I think. Decide what I feel. Decide who I am. Take my mind! Use it! Or just tell me what to do. Tell me what to think. You don’t even need your invention. Control me. Take me! It makes me so hot. Make me yours. Own me forever!”

Dr. Gehirn chuckled softly. “Quite the response. I wonder how much of this is my doing and how much we just awakened something inside of you. No matter. There may be a small issue with the ‘forever’ you just mentioned. It will take much more research, but it isn’t clear at all that these effects last much longer than stimuli are being input into your delta band. Given some time, your brain will probably resume it’s original thought patterns with no more than a memory of how you behaved.”

Charlotte was heartbroken. She hadn’t known it 5 minutes ago, but it was so clear to her now that she wanted nothing more than to be this man’s slave. To give her mind and body to him. To be his plaything. His property. His toy. She felt like she could cry.

“Oh no, none of that. There is another possibility. You see, the longer your thoughts are entrained by the signal, the harder it gets to snap back. Little by little, you forget to think on your own. Left long enough, your mind would willingly think whatever it was told and forget it ever came up with any thoughts on its own. Then I could put whatever I wanted in that pretty little head of yours, and it would never occur to you to think anything different. How does that sound?”

Tears were beginning to well up in Charlotte’s eyes now. How did it sound? She couldn’t imagine anything making her happier. She was too emotional to speak. She nodded her head vigorously.

“Good girl.” He smiled the warmest smile at her and she felt herself melt on the spot. “This might feel a little like going to sleep. We are going to gradually withdraw the signal until your mind is doing nothing at all and then slowly and steadily begin putting thoughts into your head. They might feel like dreams but more vivid...more intense, more...permanent.” He clicked his mouse a few times and, pausing for a moment to look her up and down again, pressed a single key.

“And now your ray gun will work on me forever?” Charlotte asked, a smile growing and growing on her face. “You can control my thoughts for good?”

Doctor Gehirn nodded. “That’s right, Charlotte.” Her eyes slowly grew wider. Her mouth fell open. Another moment passed and her eyes rolled back, fluttering as new ideas and a new self were written into her mind. “And the first thing we are going to do is teach you the proper technical name for this device.”

Her legs fell open as her body relaxed more and the doctor noticed just how excited the experiment had made her. “Well...maybe the second thing.”

[gatorbites-imagines]

hii! if this req is too complicated dw ab not doing it but if it’s not il req billy/stu (poly or not , any is okay !) with male!s/o who is autistic?

tysm!

Billy Loomis x Stu Macher x autistic male reader

Headcanons

The experiences with autism in this are based off my own, as its all I know. If something doesn’t fit your own that’s why, as the experience with being on the spectrum is different from person to person :)

-          Now personally I think Stu is on the spectrum, but maybe that’s just me projecting onto one of my comfort characters. But since everyone’s experience with autism is different, it might still take a bit of time for you all to understand each other’s limits and boundaries.

-          For example, Stu is a very physical and loud person, so if loud noises and sudden touch makes you uncomfortable, it would take a while for him. He might not realize until he’s wrapped around you, then he pulls back and apologizes.

-          If you don’t have access to the items you need to help you, like stimming toys, noise cancelling headphones and alike Stu most likely has some laying around.

-          Either that or He and Billy get you some. They would totally get you a pair of headphones with a Halloween or slasher design because they think it looks cool on you.

 -          If you struggle a lot with reading facial expressions, sarcasm and alike, that could pose somewhat of a challenge for Billy. As he doesn’t speak much of how he’s ever feeling and loves sarcasm.

-          If you are a person that struggles with speaking up about being uncomfortable or feeling stupid or similar because of your struggles, Stu ends up pointing it out because he notices you are uncomfortable.

-          It ends up with the three of you cuddled up at Billy’s place when his dad isn’t there, if you are up for all that touch, and talking it over. They make sure you don’t feel like a burden, since some people do feel like their needs being met are a burden after a life of struggling with allistic people telling them they are the problem.

-          The three of you set up a system of some sort, be it a chart, a color-coded system like hair ties or bracelets, or just telling them the moment you guys meet up how you’re feeling.

 -          Billy and Stu let no one insult or talk badly about you, not just about your autism but also just in general. They have definitely gotten into a couple of fights or threatened a couple of people because of it.

-          Stu always lets you borrow his jackets or hoodies if you need it to feel safe, where Billy is more the person to hold your hand or wrap his arm around you for some grounding.

-          They are both interested in your special interests and hyperfixations. Stu will start stimming along with you and talking a mile a minute with you about the subject, where Billy is more likely to lay back and ask some questions but listen with interest.

-          They love to see you stim, especially if you masked a lot in the past. They would have helped you feel more comfortable not having to mask, and Stu will also let himself be more open with not masking so you don’t feel alone.

 -          They can be a little much at times when its all three of you, just because they both have such strong personalities. They wont feel anything negative for you if you just need to be alone for a bit.

-          Though Stu will always need to kiss you and hug you when you return, Billy will want a kiss too but just wants to hold you for a bit.

-          It wouldn’t surprise me if they have targeted ableists as Ghostface. Not only if they insulted you or Stu but just ableists in general they hate them.

-          They love you very much and feel safe with you, so they hope you feel safe with them too.

#male reader #poly ghostface #billy loomis #stu macher #ghostface #slasher #billy loomis imagine #billy loomis headcanon #billy loomis x reader #billy loomis x male reader #stu macher imagine #stu macher headcanon #stu macher x male reader #stu macher x reader #ghostface imagine #ghostface headcanon #ghostface x male reader #ghostface x reader #slasher imagine #Slasher headcanon #slasher x male reader #slasher x reader

[prince-toffee]

So, I rewatched the trailer over and over again, I stepped back, organised my thoughts, and I think I get it.

So first the Bad, then the GOOD, because there's actually a lot to like here.

The Bad:

So, the trend of companies kicking actual voice actors onto the curb and replacing them with celebrities continues. I remember being really angry when they first announced the voice cast, and I still am. It's quite literally the most boring, generic casting possible. You can not get much more white bread, milk toast than a Chris and Scar - I want to play an Asian woman and trans man - jo. Also, why is Chris Hemsworth here? Do he really need the money? Did Thor 4 damage his pockets that bad? There are so many talented voice actors that could've been Orion, David Kaye is a prime example Animated Optimus and Beats Wars/Unicron Trilogy Megatron, beloved by fans, if he was announced people would've been over joyed. I love Brian Tyree Henry, and he actually has some experience with va work as he voiced Jeff Morales in Spider-Verse, my original criticism still stands.... And Kegan, oh Kegan, I love you so much, Key and Peele was my childhood, and the Toad performance was perfectly fine, endearing even. But as Bee? I'm sorry, but no, that's not BumbleBee that's just actor/comedian Kegan Michael Key, I can't hear anything else. And it doesn't help that he's handed the worst lines.

Which brings us to the comedy. First impressions are EVERYTHING. And if you fumble that that hurts your film, and the perception of your film. I think that's really the problem here, it's a bad trailer not necessarily bad content. Packing the trailer with jokes for the sake of jokes and having that samey Hollywood liscensed music cringey feel to it. Like the guitar riff that played when the 'This Fall' card came up just made me turn off the video immediately. That's why I recommend watching the trailer without sound. Bee's jokes don't really land for me, I'm sure kids with love it tho, and that's good. But I'm sure all the jokes won't be bad, the final door gag is actually really funny. So I think it was just a bad joke that soured out feel of the tone at the beginning, which is unfortunate because like I said first impressions are everything. Because this is Josh Cooly, of Up, Inside Out, Toy Story 4 fame, I'm sure the film will have an emotional core to it.

A minor thing I don't much care for is having Bee be in the same age range as Orion, in my mind he's always constructed during the war at like the half way mark or near the end, he's the little brother of the group, and now he's old enough to remember Op and Megs before the war. Also he sounds way too old.

Oh, also I don't like Orion's personality.

Good:

Now for the good; I think the animations style is gorgeous. Would have I liked something Spider-Verse/Mutant Mayhem-esk, of course, but what are you gonna do? The stand out here is the environments, a visual feast. This might already be my favourite Cybertron, it's so different yet reminisant of the Cybertron we know. The fact that the surface transformers and shifts and changes is genius, very IDW Phase 2 inspired. And the fact that Cybertron is a techno-organic hybrid world ala Beast Machines is crazy! I love that, and wildlife! I bet that's how we get the cassettes. The character models are great too, you can actually tell what emotion is happening on a person's face. Gone are the days of faces being made up of razor blades and mandibles BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT INSECTS FUCK YOU MICHAEL BAY. THEY'RE PEOPLE! There's the nose, the lips, the eyes, and I can tell where one begins and ends. The eyes are gorgeous and detailed, and the face surface detail has smuges, wear, specs of dirt, metallic texture. Like, you nailed it! It's a person but a robot, you got it!

We see what we assume are the 13 Primes, Alpha Trion being the only survivor, maybe they were killed by the Quintessons and they took over. D-16, a ref to IDW and his toys designation in the toy catalogue, he'll obviously name himself after Megatronus ala TF Prime. He seems to have the Decepticon insignia before meeting The Fallen so maybe Megatronus' face is some sort of religious iconography, the Primes are a religion on Cybertron after all. It's all so fascinating, I can't remember the last time I was so excited to learn more about a new TF continuity.

Orion and D-16 are both miners and or workers, that's a refreshing take, no coptimus here. They've suffered the same way together, I bet story will be about dealing with that pain, what justice means, how far one is willing to take it and where justice stops and injustice begins. I know people are mad that the origins are a little different, but I ask you, different from what? Which continuity are you talking about? TF has never had a consistent singular timeline, and that's what I love about this franchise! It builds on itself with each new continuity! Take a bit of the old, mix it with new ideas and create something fresh, then that old guard leaves and a new team takes over and does the same and the franchise continues to evolve or should I say transform. Like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get, and new incarnations always give second chances to improve apon what came before. No Reboots, no risks means no Skybite, or Nemesis Prime, no Stasis Pods, Sparks, Protoforms, Energon ore, no Star Saber, Hot Shot, Knock Out, Airachnid, no All Spark, no Sari, no Bulkhead, no old grumpy Ratchet, none of that. Reboots are a part of this franchise's DNA. I sense the people that are complaining are the people who only value one continuity and discard all others.

It's really neat this universe's version of The Cast System is lower class worker protoforms being denied a Transformation Cog, it seems like it's reserved for the higher classes, the very thing that makes their species special and unique is denied to them. Also I didn't notice it the first time, but Alpha actually pulls the t-cogs out of the dead Primes which kind of signifies a passing of the guard, the old Primes failed, now it's your turn, and of course history repeats itself with the downfall of Megatron.

I like how Trion is covered and intertwined with moss and vines and has a beast mode, showcasing that he's of an older era now gone and forgotten.

Some other smaller stuff:

The sun looks like a holographic simulation, which makes me wonder, Cybertron doesn't usually have a sun, but there's plant life now, so what's up?

The cave that the dead Primes and Trion are in kinda looks like a Dweller.

Megatron's black helmet is a ref to Marvel G1.

That spin kick where Elita twirls her entire waist around is sooo satisfying. I love it.

AIRACHNID!!?!!!! MY QUEEN HAS RETURNED!!!!!!!

I think that's a good point to end on. So, yeah, v excited.

#transformers one #maccadam #maccadams #tf one

[writingmochi]

soobin's spin-off teaser

cast: alt kid!soobin ✗ fashion student/designer!fem.reader

synopsis: after soobin's encounter with a person from his original timeline, he experiences doubts if he can settle in this new timeline or not. his alienation and existentialism take a spin in a new world he has to figure out himself, or if he could be courageous enough to ask you to guide him down back to the surface

genre: coming of age, slice of life, romance, drama, friends with benefits au, college/university au, angst, fluff, mature content (drug consumption and explicit smut)

word count: 489

release: out now!

a tiny message: for the people unfamiliar with the series, i recommend reading the series first to know about the world! spoilers from chapter i-vi of time wave

masterlist

after he laid back in his bed after bringing you back, his state of mind went into such a limbo that all of the thoughts in his head are about you, original timeline you, his best friend yeonjun, and his home timeline. he tried to sleep it off, but it didn’t help until something made him impulsively act.

he steps out of his bed and turns on his desk lamp to open his sketchbook, grabbing two different colored pens of black and dark blue as he sketches the visual in his mind. figures are drawn in black ink into faceless figures talking to each other, some holding bottles in hand and a few laughing “hahaha”s around the people. the center of the paper is empty as he grabs the blue pen and draws another figure that looks so different from the others. its shape is humanoid but its head is bigger than the others. he outlined the clothes and how the being is holding onto a bottle of beer, he assumed, but with the black ink. he makes a small rectangle on the chest as he writes “soobin” in it.

retreating his posture back, he sees the finished picture as he visualizes. the lone blue outline humanoid in the middle of the black figures. ever since original timeline you left, he sensed his mind was being pulled out of his body for the first time since long ago and he sees himself in a third-person view when he walks back to his room. the out-of-body experience also recaps his year-long life here in a fast pace before one word rings in his mind.

alien.

he feels like an alien. this isn’t his original home after all. this is not the world he was born in. he’s not supposed to be here.

after you mentioned what happened back in your original timeline, he can’t help but feel his heart sunken down into the fathoms of himself. on how he left so suddenly. on how he only thinks about himself as he try to rebuild his life here. how the “feeling alive in a new world” means seems more of like an illusion to him. soobin felt himself crumbling as a tear fell out of his left eye, still staring at the drawing he made in the middle of the night. cicadas sound outside of his window as he hears a fading muffled sound of people in rooms far from his. all become solemn and sound as the doubts he holds back are now crashing the dam and filling up his head like a vase.

he misses the adventures he and yeonjun had in high school. his discovery of rock music and songs his dad might listen to if he could ask him; though he was meters under the ground. he misses the experimental parts of his youth and how, even in his hardest times, he’s still living.

soobin misses home.

taglist: @raeyunshm @endzii23 @fluffyywoo @camipendragon @hiqhkey @wccycc @cha0thicpisces @y4wnjunz @yeehawnana @beansworldsstuff @kimipxl @stayzentiny @rebsmoonn @boba-beom @angelbythewindow @ttyunz

time wave taglist (i remember you all!): @rein-deer-stuffs @kookthief @papiibuprofen @soobsfairy444 @yeombin @jaemacchiatto @zgkigia @strawbrinkofdeath @moaberryjjunie @fandom-kay

© writingmochi on tumblr, 2021-2024. all rights reserved

#k-labels #txt imagines #txt scenarios #txt smut #txt angst #txt fanfic #txt x reader #soobin x reader #rsc: time wave #rsc: fm #cr: soobin #cs: txt #sc: regina

[kerubimcrepin]

Live-read: "Les Dessous de Dofus" - part 2

And this is how it starts.

:(

Yes Lilotte. Yes he does.

Pupuces drink blood, as we know from Waven and the Dofus movie. Just because Joris and Kerubim's Pupuce likes to eat kibbles doesn't mean she isn't an obligate uhh hemovore (i made this word up). She wants to drink Lilotte's blood so fucking bad.

We can't really see if this thing Lilotte found is just a piece of fabric, or a dress. It doesn't look very dress-like, but it might be because it lacks any shoulder straps or belts. Keke does like to wear green a lot!

Considering the fact that she, uh, found high heels somewhere, I do think this is a dress. Kerubim has bad taste in clothes.

Joris is just pogging, while Kerubim is so worried about her being bitten everywhere by pupuce... gjsfgsf. (that and the fact that she found one of his drag things. But mostly her being bitten by pupuce)

I think Kerubim's game plan, if Julith hadn't showed up, was to hide knowing who Joris's parents were literally forever. Otherwise, this would be a pretty cruel thing to say, knowing that one day, he would have to reveal to Joris that that's his mom.

The Bakara bits of this comic make me so fucking sad, you have no idea. Just no idea. And her boyfriend is helping her get drunk, constantly.

I had spoken to some select people (in my dms) a lot on the parallels between Ivory Dofus's dragon, Jahash, and Kerubim, as well as Ebony Dofus, Julith, and Atcham. Joris has always been a person associated with neither light nor dark.

As well as parallels between Bakara (who I assume is around 10, in this design) and Joris (who is 10 at this time canonically). Makes me want to to believe that, in the Julith et Jahash comic, Bakara was 7. It'd be cute if they're similar like that.

Now, onto something more topical: Jahash and Kerubim are both idealists, who can make fun of themselves a little bit, but the idealistic view of their career as a hero differs for the two of them.

For Jahash, it is defending Bonta and its innocents.

While for Kerubim, it's about new experiences and sightseeing. It's about defending those who have nobody else, like widows and orphans.

And god, by now you probably know what Kerubim saying that he likes to defend orphans out loud does to my brain chemistry.

He doesn't want any orphan to suffer in life like he did.

Keke, a boomer, thinks that selling weed and catnip is illegal, but considering the fact that this guy went to the guards, — I think it isn't. Also, on the topic of funky plants that exist in the Krosmoz universe:

This is how my headcanon that Joris, Kerubim and Atcham smoke together can still win.

Like, there's a lot of weed near Bonta. Like a Lot of it.

They both haunt one another at night.

Julith having a stuffed doll of Jahash is just... so sad. Kerubim took everything from her, minutes after her husband has died.

And even if Kerubim thinks that she was an evil person, — he wants to protect the widow and the orphan. What happened here is the opposite of everything he stands for.

No wonder he's so protective over Joris, considering the guilt he must feel about killing his mother. He lost his parents too. He knows that, if he doesn't raise Joris himself, Joris has nobody.

My hot take, is that Bakara hates Joris, — and by proxy, Kerubim. Because the man took Joris in and loves him.

Sure, she couldn't have raised him, being a child herself, — but not having him in her life is a decision she makes on purpose, until the circumstances force her to interact with Joris.

Even as an 18-20 year old woman, she never contacts her nephew, despite knowing Kerubim and where they live. Even while crossing them on the street.

Think about it this way: She hates Julith. She thinks that she took advantage of her brother. That Julith had a child with him, for some perverted, monstrous reason, while lying about loving him, before destroying Bonta and causing the man to die.

While she probably knows that Joris isn't to blame for anything, her desire to never speak to him is... quite understandable. And probably for the best, for the sake of both of them, and their mental health.

#ro liveblogs dofus #dofus #wakfu #krosmoz #dessdofus #kerubim crepin #bakara jurgen

[quibbs126]

Well alright, someone said yes, so I’ll post the designs

Warning, these are kind of old and not very good art. Or maybe I’m just being self critical, some of it I think still looks neat

Let’s start with the ones that I made look cool and drew both the Stand Human and Human Stand

Unfortunately I could never figure out a Stand design for Okuyasu, so he only has his half done

Why does the lettering actually look kind of cool…like it doesn’t look half assed at all like it normally does. Maybe because I was intentionally trying to make it look cool

I made Joseph a scarf because I remember his scarf being a notable part of his design. Also Hermit Purple was vines, so equal treatment

Giorno looks like that because I recall at the time some people saying how Golden Experience looked like young Haruno but GER looked more like current day Giorno, so I kind of took that idea and made him look like Haruno, though maybe I took things too literal. Also that’s why Oro looks like GER. Also Oro is supposed to have a somewhat unsettling stare, since people say GER looks kind of creepy

Also another thing I want to mention about Polnareff, specifically his name, so that’s not an 80s song, that’s from 2014, it’s the name of a song from a French artist I liked. So realistically it probably wouldn’t be used but I thought it sounded cool. And hey, the song itself samples a Michael Jackson song, so eh?

Anyways, so something I should mention about this style, so at the time I was obsessed with this other artist’s, @droolingdemon style, and I tried desperately to recreate it. I think by this point I just tried to integrate it with my current style, but that’s why the art style looks the way it does. I might make another post about the subject on its own though

Anyways, onto the Chibi style Stand humanizations

I’ll just list some things I remember from their characters

So I did eventually consider turning Purple Haze into a dog, I think specifically a greyhound, but I didn’t know how to draw dogs, so that never happened

Stone Free never takes off those sunglasses and never lets anyone see what she looks like under them. As it turns out, she’s actually blind, and this would be revealed around the snail part in the story (assuming there are still snails), as she’s unaffected, and I believe she’s told to drive a car because of it, but she can’t, and when asked why, she says it’s because she’s blind (and that this was probably a bad time to relay that info)

The three in the last pic are all different characters who end up sharing the same Stand as it gets passed around between them. Whitesnake is part of the prison staff, C-Moon is just an unfortunate young lady who just happens to get stuck with the Stand after something happens to Whitesnake, and Made in Heaven is I think a horse rider who gets the Stand from C-Moon, probably forcibly taking it from her (and she likely dies) as he knows what it is. Also, Whitesnake and Made in Heaven were dating

Oh yeah, also the first Standswap art I did, which was also Chibi style, I just singled it out because of that

Featuring Star Platinum and The World. Not sure I ever found a definitive design for The World, but maybe I did in my sketchbook

Anyways, so then we have some random headshot ones I did

Let’s see, in the first one we have GER looking ominous, Purple Haze, the blushing one is Tusk Act 1, and buns is Ball Breaker. Then for the second one we have Whitesnake, Under World, Killer Queen and Scary Monsters

I believe one thing I did for the Part 7 swap storyline was to have Tusk have a journey of slowly transitioning from a woman as Act 1 to a man as Act 4. I know I’ve drawn Act 4 Tusk but I think it was in my sketchbook, so I cannot show it. Also I believe Ball Breaker was trans too, just male to female, and where Tusk got the idea that you can just be your preferred gender if you want. Also note that at the time, I did not actually really understand how transitioning worked. Though to be honest, I think the main thing was that I didn’t know hormones existed, or that transitioning could be more than just making yourself look like your preferred gender

Anyways, on to Scary Monsters. I believe he rode horseback without a saddle. Also, he started out with one Stand (Dr Ferdinand) but then got another (Diego)

Then with Killer Queen, I believe he was a mute cop. But also secretly a serial killer. Also he might have had a cat like face

And yeah, I think that’s about it, hope you liked it

#I do still like some of these designs #also I still stand by that the Jotaro Standswap one looks great #do I tag all the characters? #eh why not? #but I’ll be tagging the users not the Stands #jojo’s bizzare adventure #jjba #standswap #joseph joestar #giorno giovanna #jotaro kujo #jean pierre polnareff #okuyasu nijimura #diavolo jojo #pannacotta fugo #trish una #leone abbacchio #bruno bucciarati #rohan kishibe #ermes costello #jolyne cujoh #muhammad avdol #enrico pucci #dio brando #johnny joestar #gyro zeppeli #donatello versus #yoshikage kira #diego brando #my art

[fatuismooches]

Hii smoochies! Read all of your works in one go 🔥! I love them all, platonic ones are such a nice treat especially that little kitsune reader... Loved it. But I have the say the fragile reader is my favorite thing now✨️. With any harbingers, but Dottore kinda become my favorite... (because of all the brainrots and just the eternal love and trying to find a cure plot is delightful)

I want to know if you have any design in mind for fragile reader? Like what do you imagine in your mind when you write about them. What do you think they would wear, how they would style their hair, would they have any accessories (maybe given by the dottore himself? Matching earrings ?) I actually wanted to draw something about them. If it's okay!

Besides that, I really love to imagine Dottore/segments taking care of reader. Mostly segments since Prime is busy. They would be giving you a bath, dressing you up, brushing and drying your hair, brushing your teeth, getting on their knee to put on your shoes. The daily routine of a segment. They don't complain even though they are not used to doing these sort of things. They are not sure what they are doing, they are meant to do more... bloody jobs but here you are enjoying their gentle touches. Like, they would struggle with one of the tasks, (brushing your hair without tugging on it?), they would get frustrated, grumbling and huffing and reader is just sitting there with a smile on their face. Touched that the segments care so much about them to try to be... I don't know... be caring? haha

Also I just love how everyone throws ideas about the harbingers and reader in your blog. And how excitedly you response to each one. Just feels like a safe space to talk in. So uhh thank you ! Oh and I hope you have a very very nice day/night!

Dottore and his segments are selfish people. They're not interested in others, they're focused solely on themselves and their research, their goals, their experiments, knowledge. However, there is an exception to their mindset... you, of course. The one person who they do actually give a damn about. (Astonishing, really). Due to your health, there are times when you struggle to get through even the basics of your routine, but thankfully, the segments are always there to assist you. Even though you always apologize for "wasting their time" with such simple things, they really don't mind. Even if Prime didn't program that responsibility into them, they would still take care of you regardless. And, they get to spend time with you and be lavished with your affection after, so how could they ever say no?

Even though they're certainly not used to such tasks, usually carrying out things better left unsaid, they're actually not bad at it. Well, some things, at least. No matter what you wear they're going to be able to pull it on you without too much difficulty. I mean, do you see how complicated their outfits are?? Showers are good too, but you're going to have to get some better hygiene products... we know how Dottore and his segments tend to be, cooped up in the labs for unspeakable amounts of time... *cough cough*

If you happen to have hair long enough to brush, then only the older, more patient segments have that duty. The younger ones aren't suited for the job... unless you like getting yanked around.

AHHH THIS BRAINROT WAS SO CUTE THANK YOU... I'M VERY HAPPY YOU LIKE MY BRAINROTS AND FRAGILE READER!! I'm glad you feel safe in my blog~ that's my ultimate goal! And I'm honored you'd want to draw them! As for your question, I don't have any design in mind for fragile reader! I prefer to leave them completely up to the reader's imagination, so they can visualize whatever they want! So really you can just draw whatever you want, maybe yourself or an OC? :D

(But I'm totally on board for matching earrings hehe... personally i imagine it's clipped onto somewhere on their clothing instead, because the earring might put them off balance or something...)

#smooches talks #fragile reader <3 #dottore love notes <3 #thank you very very much for your kind words!! they make me very happy!! and this fluffy brainrot of course!!

[midsummerdolls]

Doll profiles for my modern dolls! Since my collection has changed much over the past few months. Under the cut because this will be long!

Most of my modern dolls aren't canon character dolls, and any who are (namely Corinne) are still a little bit divorced from their canon counterparts, because I have fun with extrapolating storylines for my own dolls, and trying to make them fit in alongside their new friends. On to the bios!

Lena Grzegorczyk (she/her)

Lena is the oldest doll in my collection, and therefore I think it's apt that she is my oldest character. She's 14, and enjoys learning new things. She loves to read and draw, and she just got a guitar for Christmas! She is also obsessed with vintage fashion. Her dream job is to work with textiles someday, in any capacity. Lena's favorite color is red!

Tsukiko Matsubara (she/her)

Tsukiko is happy, confident 13 year old! She loves experimenting and trying new things, and her favorite thing she owns is her little science kit. She's fascinated by chemistry, and would love to do something with that someday! For now, she spends her time messing with her camera, and doing fun (safe) experiments in her kitchen. Tsukiko has Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, which often has her using hand-crutches. Her favorite color is turquoise!

Divya Patel (she/her)

Divya is a sweet, caring 12 year old. She is on the local youth's swim team, and she enjoys painting and sewing, and her favorite class at school is art class! She had a blast with the pottery unit. She's not quite sure what she wants to do someday, but she has plenty of time to decide! Divya is half Gujarati, and half Afro-Brazilian. She's good friends with both Tsukiko, her classmate, and Lena, who she met at an after-school art club last year. Her favorite color is light pink!

Andrés Fuentes (he/him)

Andrés is really excited that he made it onto the boy's soccer team. He just came out as trans, and was worried that he wouldn't be allowed to participate. Andrés just turned 13, and in his spare time he loves to play the drums, which annoys his family to no end. He does brilliantly in maths, which makes him think he might be suited to something like accounting, but he hasn't thought too much on the subject. His family is Puerto-Rican, and he speaks Spanish at home. He was also born hard-of-hearing in his right ear, and he's working towards becoming fluent in ASL. His favorite color is green.

Nihkko Lehtinen (he/him)

Nihkko just transferred to this school district this year, and he has found a good friend in Andrés on the soccer team. He's 12 years old, and outside of playing soccer, he's looking forward to this year's school production, which he wants to audition for. He loves to sing and dance, and wants to put those skills to use! His family is Saami and Tatar, which makes him really proud! His favorite color is yellow!

Esme Adrianov (she/they)

Esme is a quiet, stubborn 12 year old. She doesn't move outside of her social circle much, but she deeply values the friends that she does have. Despite being rather shy, she isn't afraid to stand up for her and her friends when needed. They enjoy running on the track team, and they love baking and experimenting with fun, new recipes! Her family is Unangan, and her parents raised her to be really, really proud of that fact. She is good friends with Nihkko, Andrés, and Nanea. Their favorite color is blue!

Nanea Jeon (she/her)

Nanea is a sweet, confident 12 year old! She loves biking around town with Esme, and working in the gardens with her parents on the weekend. She loves to write as well, and she's written a few short stories that she is extremely proud of! Nanea is half Hawaiian and half Korean, and she greatly looks forward to when she can see her cousins, who all live so far away! Her favorite color is light orange!

Amarah Adeyemi (she/her)

Amarah is a friendly, confident 12 year old! She draws a lot in her spare time, and enjoys creating new clothing designs in her sketchbook- it's her dream someday to have her own clothing line! Otherwise, she enjoys maths and history, and she loves hanging out with her friends after school at the park. She's Nigerian, and her family moved to the US when she was young. She grew up speaking Yoruba, along with English, at home. She's close with Corinne, who she met in 3rd grade. Her favorite color is purple!

Corinne Ziyì (子义) Tan (she/her)

Corinne is a kind and resilient 12 year old. In her free time she enjoys winter sports such as skiing and ice skating. After school she enjoys helping around her mother's restaurant or going to the park with Amarah. Her favorite subject is history- she finds it interesting and engaging. She thinks she'd like to go on someday to further her studies in the humanities- her name, Ziyì, means someone who will stand with righteousness, and she feels that it fits her and her goals very well! But all that is a long way off. For now she's happy to spend her time as she does. Her favorite color is mint!

Eloise Gruenberg (she/her)

Eloise is an introverted and studious 12 year old. She loves school- she loves learning new things, and challenging herself. Outside of school, she loves to dance. She finds the movements therapeutic, and it helps her recenter herself. Eloise is half black, and half Ashkenazi Jewish, and her faith is something that is really important to her. She was born with albinism, which affects her ability to see clearly, so she wears glasses and uses a cane when she's out. She finds that brightly colored clothes are her favorite- and she enjoys putting together fun outfits in the mornings. Her favorite color is red!

#doll bios

[mychlapci]

Maggy anon AGAIN i forgot to mention that you definitely should imagine Prowl getting fucked hard and sloppy by Jazz until his belly's bulging out, full of transfluid, ensuring he'll soon be swollen with a nice litter.

He's so skinny, it shows immediately. Still, he cheats, using holograms to hide his swelling belly until his hologram projector just. Pops out to make room for the babies. Probably during a meeting or something. Optimus is *appalled* that Prowl would hide this, and Ratchet is swearing up a storm as he drags the mortified Prowl to his medbay.

i need pregnant tfa Prowl so badly. When I talked about how tfa designs seem to be made for baby-bumps? i was thinking about Prowl at that moment. 

He's so thin he’ll show so quickly, hell, he’d show before he even got pregnant, just the amount of transfluid he’d get filled with would cause his belly to bulge out. Prowl hiding his pregnancy from the rest of the team using clever holograms. His belly might seem flat but in reality he’s swelling out more and more each day until the hologram literally doesn’t know what to do with him, meaning one day it just turns off, letting everyone see his swollen baby-belly. He gets a good chewing out because holy shit, Prowl is very pregnant and has been going out on missions like that for weeks. Anything could have happened. Thankfully nothing happened to him, but now that everyone knows, it means he’s not allowed to put himself in danger anymore, which means no more missions, which is exactly what Prowl was trying to avoid by hiding his carrying… no matter, after a while he’s too pregnant to keep his graceful and agile ninja schtick up anyways. what is going to do at that point, waddle towards a decepticon with his hands holding onto his belly? (now that’s a humbling experience. i would actually love to see that)

#valveplug #pregnancy mention #everytime i watch tfa i am shocked by the lack of babybumps. in my mind everyones pregnant at all times in that show

[lazywriters-blog]

LOVE HOTEL

YANDERE KAMISATO AYATO

Synopsis: Ayato suggests that you two go to a love hotel, for just an experience, he said. [Modern AU]

Warning: May contain triggering content, implied sexual content, slight nudity, non-consensual touching, and a lot of underlying yandereness. Errors might be present, please do not mind them, enjoy!

He insisted it would be a favorable ordeal.

Just two colleagues wanting to experience some friendly intimacy, denial was at the tip of her tongue when he first mentioned it, his persuasive strategy is what had caused her to stand in front of the hotel, just wondering, how she consented and let him paddle the way. Running away didn't seem like a plausible alternative, now that he has her hand in a rigid clasp, gently dragging her inside.

It felt deplorable standing at the counter, with her behind him while he paid the sum in full, requesting a room, smiling at the employee with him still holding onto her wrist.

The pathway to their room was a fragment she'd find hard to forget, the few odd sounds here and there invaded her thoughts, the bright and cheerful place seeming like it was hiding something dark, she spoke in an attempt to get him to let her go.

While he paced ahead without a concern.

"Um... Can we go back, please? This place is making me uncomfortable." She timidly asked, dully aiming to pull her arm back, he didn't approve of her rebellion at the moment, replying with a stern tone.

"We've barely scratched the surface. Why return now after we decided we would do nothing more than view the place and leave." He side-eyed her, a smirk stretching once he connected the dots after seeing her face.

"If you are concerned about those noises, pay them no mind. I assure you, I have nothing of that sort planned." He replied.

"N-no I wasn't thinking about that, this seems like a place we shouldn't be, you know?"

He laughed, unable to mull over her words as they arrived at the room they were given the key to, the deluxe edition, it reads, unlocking the door and stepping in.

She breathed in the soft floral scent of lavender, pleasantly cold and commodious, the king-sized bed had a few towels and a booklet for some of the... More interesting items, she looked away, anxious and hyper to flee, if someone saw them, she wouldn't know how to deal with the rumours that will inevitably spread.

"Ahh!" Ayato mouthed, she jumped, glancing toward the male surveying the elegant ropes, muttering, "interesting..."

"Can we leave? We saw what it looks like, isn't that enough?" She pressured, nervously gazing at the many bounds he took out, he stared at her, saying, "most certainly not, there's much to explore, my dear friend."

She widened her eyes, advancing back, he appeared like he was enjoying her enactment, chuckling at her nonplused expression. She shortly asked, "what if someone saw us?" Worried by the amount of snooping questions she'll get if it ends up being the outcome.

"Please, I'm certain they will leave us alone. Besides, if that does happen, it will be... Interesting." He mused, curiously darting towards the closet and studying provided items, she stood, dumbfounded by his comeback but it wasn't unpredictable.

"For a top student, you sure do like to get into trouble. Whatever it is, leave me out of this." She said, hoping that it would yield her freedom, however, he promptly got up while holding a soft piece of fabric. Her heart skipped a beat.

"Would you like to try this on?" He sang with a devilish smirk, she swallowed, glancing at the beautiful mirror to the right, the bra seemed pretty expensive and new, baby blue in hue and petite design.

"No, that's too... Revealing." She sheepishly finished. She shouldn't have eluded his gaze at the last moment.

"That's true. How about this night grown?" He said, showing a silky white short dress, with thin straps, she involuntarily shivered, shaking her head and saying, "we are not going to stay the night." She surmised, he grinned along tossing the lingerie onto the puffy mattress.

"Give me the keys, I'm leaving." She firmly stated, he shushed her, smiling at her amusing expressions, "please calm yourself, we are merely here to try these things out, you wouldn't waste the money I've spent, now would you?" He replied, thinking guilt-tripping her would suffice.

"I don't want to but I'm not comfortable. Would you please give me the keys?"

"Okay, I will, when you try this out?" He playfully taunted, moving the fabric closer to her, she stepped back, beginning her futile experiment at making him take back his words.

"I said no, can we leave?" She answered.

"Come on now, don't be that way. I promise I'll let you go after you've tried this on." He gently pressured her, and she waived, taking the textile and disappearing into the bathroom.

"Oh! And, please do show them to me before you leave." He announced as she lowered her bra straps.

"I will not!!" She retorted.

"Do remember I have the keys."

She groaned, looking herself in the mirror, entertaining the idea of sitting in the bathroom so she could pass time and thwart her friend, upon making herself feel safe by the wall, he seems to have conjectured her course of avoidance, as he loudly knocked on the door.

"You can't stay in there forever you know. The faster you come, the sooner we can go home."

She gulped, pursuing her lips and moving forward, repenting her indigent decision.

She opened the door.

Bending her head, glancing anywhere but his observing eyes, despite shunning the odd sensation it increased, his gaze was glued on her frame.

He smiled.

"You look beautiful." He confessed, emerging from his seat and drawing near her before she can gather her thoughts and step away.

"Although, you haven't quite tied the straps right, are you shy? We've been friends for so long, I thought we were long past that stage." He mumbled, close to her face, just an inch more and they could kiss.

"Are you perhaps denying the facts?" He whispered, slowly snaking his arms against her waist, getting her adjusted to his hold, pressing his fingers into her warm flesh, securing her in his grasp.

"We both have feelings for each other, it's undeniable. We care for one another more than we let on."

"Isn't that right?" He tenderly kissed her cheek.

He eventually relaxed his face in the crook of her neck, breathing in and out, caressing her sides, and then he grumbled, "you like suppressing a lot of things."

She froze.

"Would you mind indulging me in those?"

He griped, unclipping her bra.

#yandere imagines #yandere #yan yan #yandere genshin impact #genshin impact #genshin impact imagine #genshin impact x reader #yandere oneshot #yandere drabble #yandere ayato x reader #yandere ayato #yandere ayato kamisato #kamisato ayato x reader #genshin kamisato ayato #ayato x reader #yandere kamisato ayato #yandere genshin x reader #yandere genshin impact x reader #yandere x reader #genshin ayato #yandere genshin imagines #yandere genshin #ayato kamisato imagines #kamisato ayato #kamisato clan