#still better than my initial drawing on Instagram was so ~

[poopingonthefloor]

hai uh question

im bad at body anatomy BUT YOU SEEM SO GOOD WITH IT can you show us how you do anatomy and stuf,f,.,, it doesnt even have to be detailed i jst want a little chart.l.

KYAAA I APPRICIATE YOUR FASCINATION WITH MY ABILITY. To be honest even I still struggle with anatomy at times (mostly when I get artblocked lol..) and a lot of the time I just tend to wing it, but here are a few key things I try to remind myself any time I DO lose track of things or struggle on where things should be (also just general rules I taught myself while trying to develop a less jelly-style)

Note: I am not a professional this is just based on personal experience. I hate instagram art tutorials so erm...just consider this like some "offered tips" I gave you in a back alley and definitely not "this is the right way to draw". This is only offered for people to help with getting to a VERY generalized/over simple grasp on how to keep track of anatomy or people who want to try out an artstyle generally similar (less cartoonishly-exaggerated poportions but still cartoony) to mine.

Also I apologize if this is worded weirdly my neurodiverse traits are the inability to communicate/explain properly (usually because I go in too much overspecific detail)

Though the biggest thing I suggest is dont be afraid to look at refrences!!!!!!!! it helps a lot to analyze how the parts of the body sit when in certain positions.

For me initially, I always had to remind myself "the body parts are bigger/longer than i think they are" because just a few years ago my artstyle was more cartoony with gianter-heads and more contorted poportions (which isn't a bad thing, I'm just specifying in case there's anyone that specifically WANTS to come out of a similar place) so I had to teach myself out of my instinctive minimalisticness (because I personally wanted to get out of that)

However final disclaimer:

art is subjective, enjoy what you like, draw noodle arms or blocky bodies and flat poportions all you want. Cartoonish stylizations are not any better or worse than more realistic stylizations and this is just based off my personal experience with art and if youre interested in going a similar route about art. ^_^

#dsaf #davesport #ask #txt #art #artistry #tutorial #jack kennedy #old sport #dave miller #dayshift at freddys #dayshift at freddy's #art tutorial

[weirdcursedvaultkid]

hii!!! i’ve been following you for a long time now and i really love your art!! i’ve also been trying to learn how to draw so i was wandering if you’d have some advice for someone who’s completely new to this ??? pleek-

forgot to say this in the original ask, but of you have any tips on how to draw hair i’d thank you forever 😭 i’m really struggling with that

aw thanks! idk if im the best to ask for advice but hopefully you find any of this useful!

honestly it's really as simple as just drawing even if you think it looks bad don't get discouraged because it's all part of the process and you will get better when you are drawing on a regular basis. just look at the first drawings i had on here compared to my more recent stuff - the more you do it the better you'll get!

look for inspiration and references, its not cheating to use references as long as you are not straight up copying your reference 1 to 1. i like going on pinterest for inspiration especially for clothes! i also like to see what other artists are doing, instagram is also good for finding art inspo, i also found watching speed paints on youtube a good way of seeing how other people color and how to apply it to your own drawings

I'll talk more about what i do under the cut lol

for my process, i like to start off with a super messy sketch im talking chicken scratch. it's not supposed to look good its just supposed to give you a base for your drawing and allow you to figure out what you want to do.

then i start a new layer on top, lower the opacity of the initial sketch and i start drawing on top and refining everything so I have a cleaner sketch that's closer to the final drawing. this is usually where i finish figuring out the poses anatomy, hair, expressions, hands etc. it's still kind of messy but it'll feel more like you are filling in the blanks rather than starting from scratch

finally i do my lineart in another layer and for your lineart where you just make sure to keep your lines smooth and clean

Then i just do my base colors and shade, for this one i didn't really go all out with the shading so it may not be the best example lol, i just kept it simple which is ok! sometimes less is more it just depends how you want the final piece to look.

for hair specifically - i don't really have a tutorial, when i draw hair i just sketch out the shape i want the hair to have in the initial sketch, and then i had more detail when i clean up my sketch. I usually start by adding the strands that frame the face first or the hairline and then go out from there to the rest of the hair. I also don't draw every single strand, i tend to keep it more simple since i have a simple style

I found this tutorial on pinterest which pretty much how i go about it execpt i usually have a rough idea of the overall shape first and i don't go as detailed as the final result, i usually stop around the third step

i hope ANY of this was helpful and not too rambley! feel free to ask more if you have any more questions!

#mella speaks #idk how good i am at giving art tips but i hope it helps! #asks

[sincerely-sofie]

Check-in for October 24, 2023

I'm planning on doing regular check-ins that peeps can read or skip as much as they please. If you want to see behind the scenes of my projects or get to know me a bit better, feel free to peek below the cut! If not, just look at this color palette I made for my web dev class and admire it:

I know green and pink are my favorite colors, so I may be just a tad biased, but look!!! Look at how pretty it is!!!

I plan to use the palette for a website that is basically a guided tour of a fictional town that's populated by bug people, and while the colors used in the initial character sketches are still my preference, I don't think they look too bad in this proof of concept image! They definitely need some tweaking, and some details in the art itself need correcting, but all around it's not too shabby :>

I also made the logo for the website which, while uninspired, doesn't look that bad. I'm not in a logo design course, so I can't be too upset about that. I made two versions--- a light and dark one--- so that I could have it appear on most colors of background.

Also, I've printed off tons of art and stuck it on my walls over the past few days to inspire me. The art wall has been very successful in beautifying my space, but I've been a bit too worn out to draw much other than the start of a project where I draw individual generations of pokemon by memory. Venusaur looks exactly like I remembered it, but also nothing like that at all. Charizard's line only looks halfway decent by virtue of Twig existing.

I must say, though, that I am charmed by these drawings' doofy lil grins. Just look at Bulbasaur. He is raring to go! Charmander is ready to shake your hand! Look at these lads!!

I've been trying to learn Clip Studio Paint by drawing a new The Present is a Gift comic in it, but I cannot begin to explain to you all how intimidating of a program it is for me. I'm a Procreate gal, y'all. I have a conniption whenever I look at the Photoshop interface. When I look at this:

I am desperate for the cozy white space of this:

I spent over an hour struggling to draw a simple piece for Instagram, admittedly while desperately trying to get OBS to not give out on me while I recorded my screen, but I think that I'm slowly learning how to not faint whenever the Paint window boots up.

Anyhoo--- enjoy the WIP teaser for the upcoming comic featuring a chat between Dusknoir (piloting a KO'd Twig) and Darkrai amidst a cave-in. If I am found dead, know that said comic worked alongside Clip Studio Paint to kill me.

As an update for The Present is a Gift in terms of the fanfic, I recently broke 6,000 words for the first draft. I haven't been writing too regularly--- when I do, it's usually to just sit down for 30 minutes max to try and get a little bit of a head start on NaNoWriMo coming up--- but whenever I do, the words come in batches of 400-700+ at a time. My dudes, I used to take a week to reach the lower end of that amount. I've been beating perfectionism back with a stick while sobbing "Quantity begets quality! Quantity begets quality!", but since I've set myself a challenge to write as many garbage words as possible without editing them until the first draft is done, I've been writing--- and enjoying the process of writing--- more than I have in my entire life.

I've been trying to win NaNoWriMo, a challenge where you write 50k words in November, for the last 7 years. I resigned myself to being a NaNo rebel and trying to write just 15k words next month. But if I keep cranking out 1,500 words in under two writing sprints per day--- without properly trying to eliminate distractions--- I think I could actually win for once??? I didn't think Pokemon Mystery Dungeon fanfiction would be what gave me a fighting chance at winning NaNoWriMo, but here I am. PMD brainrot truly is a miraculous thing, but I'll have to see exactly miraculous it is on the 1st of November.

So... yep! I probably should have figured out a way to sign off on check-in posts before deciding to publish this. Oops. Welp. Um. Thanks for reading?

Sincerely, Sofie

#sofie checks in #web development #web dev #web design #fanfiction writer #nanowrimo #Youtube #pngtuber #The Present is a Gift AU Update

[myhappyexobubble]

EXO Fandom - Part 2 - FanArt

This post follows part 1 - available here.

After working on stories and loving the imaginative fiction created by the fandom, I came across stories that highlighted visual work by fanartists to help provide visual reference. Initially I found most artwork to be digital, but it was happening upon a pencil artist that struck a chord and made me think, “I could probably do that.”

At the time, I was close to graduating with my Bachelors Degree in Studio Arts with an emphasis in painting and mural. I was known for hating portrait work and chose to mostly work in abstracts and landscapes, or still life. The pressure to make a person look recognizable was daunting. I had just finished my senior project early and had very little to do in studio reserved time, but had an ample supply of medium and papers. So, without much thought, I started to draw EXO.

My early work is pretty rough, but as I mentioned, I did not like drawing people. I spent most of an entire semester working on some random drawings and eventually completed my first ‘series’ which was really just portraits of all members using the same medium and paper. I posted those drawings on my personal Instagram because I didn’t see it being a big deal. It became a big deal.

With enough positive comments, I decided that I wanted to keep working on portraits of EXO and sometimes other K-pop artists when inspired. I wanted to improve and to see if I could get better at drawing faces. As I continued working on shading and texture - especially hair, I began to wonder what other mediums could be used to achieve different effects. I also began networking. I started to follow and talk to other digital and traditional fan artists who used all sorts of effects. I wanted to emulate digital effects traditionally, working with physical media in layers. I went to the art store often and purchased more variety of tools. I got recommendations for brands and techniques from a network of artists that was beginning to span the globe. I had never felt so rich in community as I did around my 2nd year of working on fanart.

Of course, it wasn’t just the community that prompted artistic growth. Not to be biased, but Kai has always been just a little more artistically portrayed in photoshoots. What I consider to be odd fashion preferences became amazing to recreate in charcoal and colored pencil. Still frame movement and emotions were so motivating that at times I couldn’t keep up with the amount of visual content that was coming out and how fast I could draw.

It was a constant race to keep up. I remember that the Die Jungs photobooks were the first that I felt so incredibly motivated by and yet could never draw everything I wanted to from those books before new content was available. When Exodus and Love Me Right came out, I was cranking out 1-4 portraits a day or at least in a week. I wanted to do more series. As EXO members moved on (Kris, Luhan, Tao) I wanted to keep making series that included the 12 regardless. I wanted to merge charcoal with paint and do blends of medium that seemed impractical. It was intensely motivating because I had not just Kai but 12 total muses that belonged on canvas.

At the time of writing this I have produced 692 pieces of traditional fan art. That’s 692 pieces of paper or canvas where the medium was applied by hand via pencil or paint brush. Never in my youth did I think I would ever complete that much body of work in an entire lifetime. 

EXO gave me the inspiration to get over a fear of portraits, dabble in more medium than I’d imagined, network globally and make friends, and for the first time made me feel like a legitimate artist. Now, we could spend another entire post talking about the copyright issues and art practices and their validity, but for now - my creative growth is still one of the many reasons EXO is my favorite K-Pop group. 

More to follow, thank you for reading.

#EXO #fanart #random writing #reflection #part 2 #EXOL

[josiebelladonna]

so, a couple of nights ago i changed my pfp on instagram and threads to this:

a cartoon of alex that i made for hanukkah a couple of years ago and i had been getting a lot of comments from the pro-palestine side just from today alone, and they are always abusive (yes, i blocked most of them, i don’t need that shit). initially, it was just for hanukkah but seeing those comments gave me an idea. i’m keeping it up for a while just to make an experiment of sorts, to really show just how openly antisemitic everyone has become (full disclosure: i myself am not jewish but i have been standing in solidarity with them, because they’re quite literally sustaining the brunt of all of this).

you see that star of david and your mind immediately jumps into action.

so, putting this cartoon up as my pfp is an act of trolling. it’s meant to be an act of solidarity but it’s now something to test these people.

from what i’ve seen, just from today alone (and i’ve been busy all day and i’d rather not be around that because there’s literally better things in life than bickering with people, especially people who don’t listen), pro-palestine doesn’t listen. this side only cares about being right even if it makes them bullies. even if it makes them guilt-trip and/or scream at someone who’s not only on the side of human life but isn’t even jewish. you guys only care about one-upping everyone else and putting words in people’s mouths. you guys are incredibly disrespectful and judgmental. you have the gall to accuse jewish and israeli people of being genocidal (that word on its own annoys me just from how loosely it’s thrown around now) when you should really be critical of their dumpster fire of a government. “free palestine” is a useless phrase. it’s pointless. and the hypocrisy within this so-called movement is astounding and even horrifying, to the point i’m actually concerned for you guys, like… you need psychiatric treatment.

you also refuse to listen and learn. you also exhibit unreal amounts of abuse, shit that would get you banned in a heartbeat (and zuckerberg did very little and we all know that tumblr staff is completely useless). i wouldn’t engage with them just for my own sanity but all too often, i got replies that were often openly hateful, and i knew it was because of this drawing here. for example, i was just talking to someone on threads—you know just trying to console them because every jewish person alive right now is dealing with an ungodly amount of guilt—and i swear to god, the amount of people who (are still) jumping onto me and attacking me. i’m able to detach myself from it all because again, i’m not jewish just standing in solidarity, but what a crock of shit this whole thing is. and i’m pausing that app for a bit because it hasn’t even been a day and i have already seen enough. none of you are telling me anything new or insightful or something i haven’t read yet. it’s obvious that you don’t know the amount of nuance behind this because you’re all so quick to jump on the jews now (and failing to realize that you’re not doing anything for muslims and the palestinians, either. “free palestine” is pointless on its own, now you have to write its obituary. you made your bed, you have to lie in it).

it really does feel like you guys just want to bully and pick fights with people rather than stand for a cause, something that was inescapable in 2014 tumblr and holy smokes, we’re coming up on 10 years of that.

i am immersing myself with that drawing just to prove a point that we are currently in the midst of the horseshoe effect (the far left gets so radical that they’re indistinguishable from the far right and vice versa). pro-palestine is the new maga, and you guys will never admit to that, either, but i am witnessing it firsthand as a gentile. i’m also doing it to further build on empathy: i already did have plenty of empathy for the jews, but witnessing it has really given me so much more perspective. a small percentage of the human population—that is also decreasing, there’s only 16 million jews on earth right now (in 1948, it was closer to 17 million; in 1939, it was around 30 million)—and they’re taking the brunt of it all… why?

the jews i have interacted with are actually (and ironically) the complete opposite of pro-palestine, which has become toxic and cult-like (really, i don’t know how you guys function, and nobody is saying anything that gives food for thought, nobody). the jews i have interacted with so far are actually… sweet. friendly. tender even. a couple of them called me a mensch! and you might find this hard to believe but they want to see palestine in good shape. they want palestine and israel to coexist in harmony (i certainly do). it’s the equivalent of looking into the face of the sweet old lady down the street and spitting into her face all because her son gets kind of loud when he gets drunk. and you all wonder why you’re getting called antisemites. it’s all driven by antisemitism, and trying to justify it all by saying that palestine has it worse only makes me say, “start digging.”

and all i can think is, this is going to be your legacy. tumblr, gen z, some people my age (oh, my god, that’s sad, seeing 30-year-olds acting like they’re fucking 15), white people, people who “don’t have time to read”, tiktok, some poc, third-wave feminists, most of the lgbtq+ community (OH GOD), some academic scholars (phew, talk about sad), some politicians, pretty much the entire left wing and some of the right… this is your legacy. complicit and condoning and conjuring and justifying hate. screaming at the top of your lungs thinking you’re doing someone justice when really, you have become the evil ones. start digging. start digging your graves.

“you either die a hero or see yourself live long enough to become the villain.”

#am yisrael chai #jewish culture #jewish history #jewish tumblr #jewblr #antisemitism #jumblr #artists on tumblr #i’m a mensch #text #trying to be a good gentile #israel #palestine

[zhuhongs]

hhhhh so im on a ridiculously long ride home and just my phone so tumblr diary entry time lol. if you have my instagram this will make more sense but yk. anyways. so yesterday was the last day of the semester and i was tbh pretty normal abt it. but leading up to it i was a mess and tbh i think my stomach issues actually came more from the stress of knowing im leaving but the alcohol seemed plausible enough an explanation so i ran with it. but nah i was just. hhhh overwhelmed. bc anytime i was out with ppl it disappeared and as soon i was alone and not busy i was like. oh theres the stomach pain. LOL. but yea. so i decided my going away present to everyone would be a drawing of them plus a message bc like. i always said i liked art but never rlly showed my classmates my art so i was like. welp lets go out with a bang. and it felt good bc i really wanted to do smth like this sooner. my initial plan to make a good impression was to print stickers of my art and put my IG on it and get close to ppl that way. but i was just far too stressed and thought itd be weird. so i just. Didnt. and i regret not putting in enough effort at the beginning. but i also feel like its okay, especially given my upbringing. i needed that time to myself to figure it out, and now i really know that i can just. talk to ppl. and not be afraid. bc the ppl i got closest to were the one i swore would judge me most bc of my own preconceived notions, but i told the the parts of me i hid the most and they accepted it. and could at least sympathize and actually relate and i just. why was i so silly. why was i so mean to myself to be convinced that i was so unacceptable that no one except for those who already knew me could accept me and enjoy my presence? i was so silly. i wont do that again, but if i do, it will still be easier than doing it this time bc I'll recognize the patterns and quickly snap out of it.

in a way, i really do feel like i needed all this time alone to process myself and rlly look myself in the eye and recognize the ways ive lived that i can just stop doing now that i have the freedom to be free of my past. and part of me feels like I'm saying that as copium bc i didnt connect sooner and i possibly could have also had a better time with others and still have come to realize the same things and more through the help and company of others. but i also know that i cant live life always thinking so much. so i just need to live and let the regrets be what they are, and move forwards. but the regrets do indeed linger. like i made the decision not to stay in taiwan. bc of well A. money and B. i felt like if i had more time I'd just fucking waste it like i wasted the first 4 months. i might as well force myself into a corner and see if that would make me do things i was too scared to do otherwise. and like, it worked! i did say fuck it and rlly just let loose bc i was gonna leave but now its worked too well. and like i wish soooo bad that i had those 3 months to fully enjoy every chance working out. Part of me says that its best to leave with that hope. rather than have taken that chance and it fizzled out. the thing keeping me from extending the most was honestly knowing I'd have my birthday there. and i could not take the possibility of spending my birthday alone... i legit couldnt stomach it. in the past i used to spend every bday alone but in recent years ive had a mazing friends that actually made my bday special and i just. I'm so used to having that day be nice that i really couldnt take the possibility of it being awkward. but now i realize that it wouldn't have been like that. it couldve been wonderful. but thats okay, in another life. or maybe a few years. who knows. im considering doing smth like this again in like 2 years after I've worked a bit. i have nothing but time. but man. sometimes i just wonder yk.

and last night i had a rlly good one on one talk with my classmate and that was amazing, but i got home and checked IG like a dumbass and say another group of classmates partying til 3am and i was like.... man i should've done that. but like, logically no. i had a great night regardless and i partied with those classmates last week. ive had my fill, and i had things to do today that i needed to be coherent for. but i couldn't help but thinking what if. and i know its not so easy to kill that voice inside my head. its always gonna be there. its not just me, thats the devil of SNS like instagram. bc you see the best parts of everyone's lives at all times and feel like you're missing out but you're not. you only see a sliver of what it really was..but yea. its okay. I'm still so very young. and i just need to treasure now and take whatever chances i get to nourish the connections i have right now and put yourself out there to make new ones when the chances arise. its okay, there is not life that can be lived without saying goodbye. but damn, yesterday at the school gates two of my classmates hit me with the さよなら and that. man i felt it in that moment. theres so much i wish i couldve said in all that time we had to spend together but i just held my tongue bc i was scared. but this was really playing social interaction on hard mode, like the cultural differences, the language barrier, the introversion, the fact it was my first time on my own fr, just, there were soooo many factors working against me specifically. and fuck man, i still did it. and i am still so young, i really can do whatever i want. it feels so weird. ive only been here 6 months but in a way it feels like this is how its always been. like the fact that im going home feels so strange. like i havent been there in years, i honestly cant fully grasp that im gonna be in a place where i speak the language fluently and am fully aware and familiar with my surroundings. like, why does that feel so odd. it does, i legit dont even know how to feel besides strange. i just have a strange pit in my stomach. but its okay. it will pass as everything does. but these days will always live on inside me as everything does. even if i can't fully recall it. so i just have to keep going as always. god. life is trippy man. but yea. Yea. thats it. i think

#🐌.txt #i just dropped off my shit at my friends moms place. now im going home to shower and clean my room. #then im going to get dinner and then go clubbing with my cousin #tomorrow I'll return my room and head down to taichung. and then just vibe. process everything. explore. im really nit expecting much. #i just know i have to keep seeing as much as i can til i leave. and then. fucking... 2 days at my friends moms place. and then. thats #fucking it folks!!! ship my ass back to the US!!

[laurenejohnston]

Week 11

What is working?

The website and order form system have been working well and it’s been helpful to have all the customer’s order information in one easy to access place online so I can just keep referring back to it as I create their order. Having a clean and bigger workspace has also helped a lot when designing, printing, and cutting. Less clutter makes it easier to focus and have more time to design rather than having to constantly be moving and rearranging things in order to do each step ie. set up the drawing tablet, cut the stickers, create an outline, package etc. 

What is not working? 

Things are going pretty well so far. I think the main issue is with promoting and spreading the word about my business. People are busy and finding time to go and order something isn't going to be their top priority necessarily. Friends and family have still ordered or expressed interest in ordering. I think that I just have to expand my reach a bit in order to reach more potential customers. I think I am going to use Instagram stories to do so. 

How do you feel the project is coming?

Overall very well! I was initially nervous about how cutting the stickers myself would go and how the digital colours would translate to ink but so far I think they have turned out great and am excited to keep creating more! I am having some trouble with keeping on top of creating orders. I do tend to work better when I have multiple projects at once to switch between working on so that part of it is good, but finding the time to fit it all in is still hard. 

What are you learning about running a business?

I think I’m learning a lot about finance as I go further into projects and more orders. For example, learning the importance of planning out the best materials to use and where is best to get them to keep costs lower. By extension of that, it’s always more expensive than you think. I think I’ve learned that there always seems to be more to buy than you think and that you have to account for things like practice materials and backup and extra materials because for example not every sheet may print or cut perfectly and you may have to start again with another more than once, which may mean purchasing more sheets than I originally thought I’d need.

What are you learning about yourself?

While art is my passion, it also takes a lot of time and energy to create. Accounting for the amount you need is hard. I’m finding that I often plan a little bigger than may be realistic, and while I think I multitask alright, it is still a lot of work in a short period of time and I’m finding it can be taxing and draining to have things in a time crunch even when it’s necessary to have those deadlines and goals. 

[calamitydaze]

So you believe that Dream did sext with a (almost) 18 year old fan and you just don’t see it as an issue for you? Sorry I’m trying not to be rude I appreciate you taking everything in good faith I mean it that way

don’t worry, you’re not being rude! <3 i’m still not sure what i believe in regards to the sexts honestly— there’s reasons to think it’s true and reasons to think it’s not, and from the start i’ve tried my best to be neutral in that regard (since it’s the main accusation that isn’t based on an incorrect grooming definition) and not draw any conclusions on whether or not amanda’s telling the truth. so i’m gonna stick to that and say i don’t know, i’m kind of just putting a pin in it until/unless new evidence comes out

but if we assume that the sexts are completely real, it’s not so much “not an issue” dismissed right off the bat as it is “it Could be an issue, but i don’t see any reason for it to be”. <- if that makes sense? i’ll explain: i don’t think the fact that she was a fan is inherently a problem because although fan/creator relationships can ABSOLUTELY get sticky very quickly (which is why i still think it was inappropriate and bad judgement), acting like they’re always predatory in some way removes agency from both parties and also just isn’t true, so you have to take it on a case by case basis. and if you look at what happened, dream never manipulates or uses his power over her, never initiates the conversation in the year and a half prior to the sexting, and in fact the times she acts most like a fan (the instagram dms) is when he’s most dry and distant. given the fact that no other victims have come out in the three months since, it logically seems more like casual messaging that spiraled (again, assuming the sexts are real) than him deliberately going after fans because of their emotional bond with him. and i don’t think her being almost 18 is a problem because there’s a reason i split hairs over “17.92”— this took place in the Single Month before her eighteenth birthday, she wasn’t going to mentally or emotionally change before the magic cutoff. 18 and 22 year olds are in the same friend groups and dating pools and stages in life, it only feels gross here because it’s mixed up in grooming allegations. it’s two young adults exchanging nudes for a month— and while arguably one of them should’ve known better, it’s not worth having a moral panic over

#and as i implied in my last response this sort of thing is also very common among entertainers #with varying degrees of bad— of course just because it’s common doesn’t mean it’s okay #but i think m.cytblr is doing a lot of pearl clutching for something musician fans wouldn’t blink an eye at #SORRY this got long.. i like to overexplain.. but thanks for popping in to talk i really do appreciate gen questions and i hope it shows :] #also anon if you have any follow-ups you’re more than welcome but as a general rule just tbc i don’t want to reopen discussion of every #detail of the drituation #bella answers #anon #dream.situation

[cure-icy-writes]

I’m jumping off of the Dress Up Darling post, and I think the wish fulfillment (at least in my eyes) us a two fold thing. That it can be read as the freedom to express your sexuality without drawing awkward attention to yourself or being degraded for it (I know some high school teachers of mine that would have flipped at Marin and how dresses+acts because of the belief she’s presenting temptation for guys to fall into), but also freedom of expressing interests in general, even if people would view the interest as something weird to have. It’s not just the popular girl liking anime, but enjoying it so much she wants to express her love via dressing as characters she loves. You’re the cosplay expert out of the two of us, so correct me if I’m wrong, but from what I’ve seen, cosplay still tends to get judged from an outside perspective because it gets viewed as weird. Because Marin and Wakana’s relationship is initially formed on the basis of cosplay, she doesn’t have to without her interests from him, and thus they can grow closer with one another. There really isn’t a fear of judgement, or at least a strong one. Marin can freely express herself, both in terms of her sexuality and interests

This is based off of my own experiences (school uniform standards can be whack) as well as my own journey with my sexuality and my physical presentation (which tends to lean more into body image issues than sexuality), but I thought I’d throw in my two cents

god i had such a hard time getting into cosplay initially because of the stigma. men are so so creepy and weird about it, and then there's this niche circle of male nerd hatred directed towards women not only being a part of 'their' fandom spaces, but having a voice and expressing their sexuality. I really just wanted some way to motivate myself to sew new things, and since I didn't have much fashion sense of my own at the time, I leaned towards cosplay as a potential way to do this. I was self conscious about the entire process, and school didn't make it any better. Sure, I got some small amount of admiration for my sewing skills, but I dreaded to actually explain what I was making.

And honestly, the fact that Marin wanted to cosplay a love interest in an 18+ game? Despite having very little sewing knowledge? Oh, she'd get ripped to shreds and passed around 4chan for SURE. But she's just... really passionate. About the character arc of a 'tumblr problematic,' sexy female character. And a lot of people can't understand why, can't see past the idea of sexiness as inherently objectifying and/or tempting. They can't comprehend female sexuality outside of the heterosexual male gaze looking down in disdain.

idk, you see a lot of sexy cosplays out there. And it's hard to tell how much of that is genuine self-expression and how much is motivated by the crummy world we live in. But those get a lot more attention, positive and negative, to the point where it feels out of proportion. There's this assumption that if you're into cosplay, you just put on your wig and pushup bra and instagram filters and that's all there is to it. But that's not it. There's so much work that goes into it, that goes largely ignored, and people still want to see it as an object, content to consume, rather than real people who learn.

I tried so many new things that i wouldn't have had a chance for otherwise. Explored aspects of myself, of stories. Heh, I even learned to walk in heels for cosplay-- bad idea, doing that the week before the con. Would not recommend, at all. I researched the inspirations behind each character when choosing materials and construction, I recreated concept art, and I got more comfortable with my body the way it was.

I try not to get too deep into the mainstream cosplay culture-- the idea of canon compliance as the pinnacle to be aspired to, and all the recycled beauty standards. Because at the end of the day, it's a personal journey of self discovery, yknow?

Marin and Wakana are a really interesting pair of characters, I think, because of how much they play with the idea of beautiful girl/ordinary guy. Marin has good looks and social standing, but she wants someone who will respect her for the messy, impatient, nerdy person she is, and she doesn't want to settle for anything less. Meanwhile Wakana is deeply focused and knowledgeable when it comes to clothing and dolls, but socially oblivious and deeply self-conscious about his interests despite wanting to make a career out of them. They are described as living in different worlds, but honestly? Despite being "the girl who has everything," Marin still feels isolated from her peers who don't get the intensity of her desires or her need to be understood.

Normally, they would have no reason at all to talk. But I hope this allows both of them to be confident and appreciated for their talents and desires.

#oops i went on a ramble #anyways yeah the fanservice is kinda excessive but if the characterization game is staying strong #i think i'm gonna keep watching

[hongkongartman-mlee]

After The Great Responses To Tuesdays with Morrie (By Dominic Cheung (張可堅), Alex Fong (方力申) And Me) In Hong Kong: The 7 Alert Points As My Experience Summary

Actor Paul Engle said, “We cannot move mountains. Let us make light.”

I did it! I produced a play called Tuesdays with Morrie with director Dominic Cheung and actor Alex Fong! Yesterday’s successful 12 shows are my today’s memory. Good comments reverberated in Hong Kong. Today is tomorrow’s dream. I am still recuperating and dreaming…

To create a successful play, it is more than a good story. We must think about the performance—about what will be holistically happening on stage with sets, sounds, lighting, costumes and importantly, actors. Apart from the above, a play has its meaning within a larger context—the satisfaction among the audience, the value of the work and ideally, the approval by art critics.

Some things must be learnt by experience, and the experience of misjudgment is however costly. A failure is not always a mistake. It can be the best that one can accomplish under the bad circumstances. So, it is important, after a project, to review what might be the bad circumstances. Avoid them in future.

I would like to highlight my observations about handling this theatrical project to a few points and wish they could be of use to friends who might benefit from these guiding words.

(1) Clear Customer Segmentation

The market is too big. Marketing expenses are too huge. You must bravely identify the ‘target customers’ of a drama project and classify them according to demographic, psychographic and behavioural characteristics. Pick the right sector and use the correct ways to reach them. It is a challenge on your wisdom. For Tuesdays with Morrie, we initially targeted at young cultural people. The strategy did not work well. It ended up that the most supportive audience were those who were interested in the spiritual and educational meaning of our play: the exploration into life and death. But, as things including the poster were fixed, it was too late to change the marketing plan. We could have done better.

(2) A ‘70% Audience’ Break-even Budget

I never intend to make money in a drama project. My focus is the struggle on not losing money. After my experience of 3 stage projects, it is essential to aim prudently at that a project can break even if 70% of the audience seats can be filled up. Economy is right now bad and leaving for a weekend getaway in the neighbouring Greater Bay Area cities is a popular trend. These all affect adversely the box office of a local play. A cautious income and expenditure account is very needed when you want to keep some money for your next project.

Never leave your budget too marginal as deductions exceeding income earned can be a dangerous thing in a drama project.

(3) Get A Well-known Film Or TV Actor To Play A Part, If Possible & Appropriate

Stars are the widely recognized persons in a society. They attract audience. This is why stars matter. For those well-known actors who agree to play a part in a play, they usually realize that the fee will be modest and the participation is out of passion or interest. They will bring free publicity for your play and boost the event virally on Facebook, Instagram and WeChat.

Do not look down upon working with film or TV actors as unprofessional or downgrading, because some of them can be equally brilliant on stage.

(4) KOL And Subway Marketing

Most people in Hong Kong travel by subway (i.e. MTR). Even a small poster there will draw favorable attention to your target audience. MTR marketing is high-priced but it is worth the money. My personal experience is that it will increase ticket sales by 3 to 4 times.

Do not be afraid of its high cost. The rule is simple: you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.

For KOLs (i.e. social influencers), they normally command a group of followers on social media. When they praise your play, it will be a very effective way to create trust and credibility on what you are doing. Their words are regarded as being honest and reliable by the followers.

We wince with pain at that newspapers and magazines are in a declining state. People want real-time information on their mobile phones and computers; or paradoxically, from friends. Your money on print advertising should be reduced to a minimum.

(5) Smaller Theatre Over A Longer Period Of Time & Sell Tickets By Phases

Audience are critical and smart these days. Not being ‘early birds’ anymore, they will not buy tickets until the last minute when they can find out from the social media whether your play is good or not. The ‘Judgement Day’ is the first day of your show, after people watch your work and quickly comment on the internet. Any performing artist nowadays cannot turn a deaf ear to public opinion. Bad performances, after being bad-mouthed, can die in the blink of an eye. In contrast, great feedbacks from audience can rescue a play and make it a surprise box-office hit after the initial few days. It may therefore not be a sensible strategy to book a big theatre and finish the play within 2 to 3 days. It is wiser to book a smaller place and put up the show for a longer period of time, say 7 days or more. The advantage will be that when positive comments are received on the work, you will be able to catch a large number of ‘late birds’ who will buy tickets to support the rest of the shows. This strategy works very well for our play Tuesdays with Morrie!

(6) Know A ‘Mr Right’ In The Trade

There is a famous book called The Tipping Point! It is about how little things can make a big difference. In the drama world, the tipping point is to get to know the ‘Mr Right’. I am a bad ‘Mr Salesman’ (the term used in the book). My actor partner Alex Fong (方力申) is good. He is friendly and sincere to his fans and so many people gave him very warm support. We have also got a ‘Mr Connector and Maven’ (again, the term used in the book) who is our actor and director Dominic Cheung (張可堅). He is accountable for building huge momentum in terms of gathering the able teammates to our project. Dominic has been in the field for more than 40 years. He knows almost everyone, and naturally connects talented people across different roles.

I am an amateur producer but I am clever enough to get hold of Dominic, and then the whole project starts to catch fire!

Remember: while you do not know a trade too well, you have to make sure you surround yourself with the right people: competent professionals who can helpfully take you as their teammate and assist you to accomplish the goals.

(7) Accept Dissatisfaction And Learn To Compromise

It takes 2 flints to make a fire. The business magnate Henry Ford once said, “Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success.” In the art circle, everyone is likely to be individualistic and subjective. You have to respect them and learn to be tolerant. However, it is important to let them know the overall team’s goals. Lack of clear goal is the most common cause of conflict among team members. I always insisted, “While you can use your own good ways to work on individual goals, do not forget our overall goal: a tasteful, meaningful and popular show within the balanced budget!” I tried to praise teammates by ‘Wow’ and instead of ‘Bow Wow’!

The best play comes from men and women who are willing to contribute their great work independently toward one common goal of success in unison. The value of achievement of our Tuesdays with Morrielies not in its box-office success but in its showcase of a group of wholehearted drama professionals in making such a thought-provoking drama about the true meaning of living and dying: a wonderful professor who lived fully and so was prepared to die at any time.

May Professor Morrie rest in peace…

Maurice Lee

Chinese Version: https://www.patreon.com/posts/zhang-ke-jian-li-94238254?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_fan&utm_content=join_link

Tuesdays with Morrie Interview  https://youtu.be/owoaMpgmU3U?si=ZfG07RBjWq4xU2Hm  Acknowledgement – TVB

Tuesdays with Morrie Press Conference  https://youtu.be/Y7Aobpd8Ii8?si=2GHLeMclmDFI7Dtg  Acknowledgement - IPS

Tuesdays with Morrie Interview  https://youtu.be/PvIIJjmKrjQ?si=gzBZvdfxTGczObp8  Acknowledgement – 娛壹

#Paul Engle #Henry Ford #KOL

[uncloseted]

How can I feel less stressed / anxious about social media and my mental health when I am going to have a potential career that includes social media?

I’m graduating with my BA in English this December, and I am most likely going to go into a writing career and this in turn might mean social media management careers or online spaces. The problem is that I feel social media is very detrimental to my own personal mental health. How can I draw the line with not having social media in spite of fear of being “left behind”? I feel like every career now involves social media in one way or another and that’s really scary to me. It’s so normalized but I do not want to be on social media.

On one hand I’m scared that if I don’t have social media, I won’t know how to use the apps and am scared I may get passed up for a job position because of it. On the other hand, a lot of companies look you up online and view your online presence and I may be seen as a less valuable candidate because I’m not on social media where so many people and their brands are.

Finally, I feel worried about being looked at weird for not keeping up with the “lingo.” I’m 23 and have never been like chronically on tiktok but people my age (it may just be because i’m still in college) are absorbed in their phones and it’s hard to have a connection in person when other people are just so on their phones. I’m worried i’ll be “unreachable” to family who only have social media, or i’ll miss certain important posts from close friends, etc. The list goes on.

Hopefully this makes sense. I guess i’m just looking for some advice and if you have ever felt like this too?

Thank you Christina!

Forgive me for saying this, but I think you're making a bit of a leap here. I don't think graduating with a BA in English means that you're going to be funneled into a career that requires you to use social media, and I don't think the majority of social media managers have English degrees (they usually have degrees in journalism, communications, marketing, or public relations). Only 27% of college grads have a job that's even related to their undergraduate major to begin with, so what you chose to study undergrad isn't a strong predictor of what you'll actually do for a job.

Your career after you graduate is a choice that you make for yourself. You can avoid having a career that requires you to use social media by just not applying for those types of jobs. There are lots of other options available to you if you do want to pursue something linked to your English degree- and often ones where not having a social media presence is actually a good thing. You could do copywriting, freelance writing, technical writing, editing, proofreading, you could teach English as a second language or teach English Literature as a school subject, you could tutor, you could work as a paralegal... you could even work for a traditional marketing, advertising, or public relations agency. The most you would need for any of those jobs is a LinkedIn profile just so people can reach out to you in a professional context. Social media doesn't have to be part of your career at all if you don't want it to be.

I also don't think hiring managers are really looking to see what candidates' individual social media profiles look like, and I don't think they'll judge you for not having any. By some estimates, up to 80% of new jobs are filled internally or via networking- no written application required. Of the jobs that are publicly listed, over 98.8% of Fortune 500 companies, 66% of large companies, and 35% of small companies are using an applicant tracking system to filter the candidates that they see. That means that an algorithm is making an initial decision on your application, not a person. The amount of times where an actual person is seeing your application and then running an internet background check on you is small, and in that case it's better to have nothing come up than to have a public Instagram account come up. Anything public can impact how their brand is perceived, even if it seems harmless, so it's better for their employees to not have a presence online at all.

Missing out on the things that your friends and family are doing is more of a concern, at least from my point of view. A lot of people do use social media as their primary way of communicating with other people in their life. Maybe you could solve this problem by having accounts but not posting on them, and limiting yourself to a ten minute "check in" every few days to see what people are up to? That way, you don't have to spend time scrolling or engaging, but you can get a quick idea of what everyone is doing so that you don't miss out on anything. Otherwise, I think you just have to trust that the people who are important to you will call you to tell you about their big life updates because they want to make sure that you hear about them. And in terms of making new friends, I think you probably have to find other people who are in the same place you are- just not really interested in being online. It may be a little tricky, but they're out there, and I'm sure they're looking for friends who feel the same way, too.

[rainy19days]

I guess I should make some kind of introduction if I'm doing this tumblr - fandom shit.

(It turned out longer than I initially intended and more like me venting on my life rather than an introduction so feel free to ignore this post)

One shitty day around September I started to think about the things that made me happy when I was a teenager. One of those things was reading yaoi manga (obviously). But I stopped reading yaoi (or any kind of manga to be exact), or watch anime, or draw, or write poems and stories when I met my boyfriend. Life had fucked me up and falling in love fucked me up even more but also it kind of healed me in a lot of ways, it's still confusing to me to this day. Anyway, I threw myself headfirst into this relationship leaving everything behind, I didn't need anything beside him. This love was my escape, I needed to separate myself from my past and at that time it felt freeing. Skipping 10 years later, I realized no relationship is perfect. Even this boy who I know FOR SURE that I've been chasing through fucking lifetimes to finally meet again, because he's my fucking soulmate, even he is not perfect, and well I guess we'll try to be better again in another life... But, I'm getting distracted here... What I'm trying to say is that we both kind of gave up or forgot about ourselves. We stopped being our own separate selves. And that is fucking sad.

So that one shitty day I decided to try logging into my old tumblr account. Of course I didn't remember the password but I finally managed to log in, and I immediately felt a little nauseous when I saw my original introduction as a 22 year old. I never realized it's been full 10 years. 10 long years of not doing the things that I used to enjoy so much.

It was kind of strange and unfamiliar to be on this app again, not to mention the last time I was here I was on my computer, I don't even remember if the app existed. Of all the blogs I followed only one or two keep posting. I felt out of place, so I logged out and instead I started to wonder if Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai had been completed. It was the first title that immediately came to my mind. I remember being obsessed with it and that the last chapter that was out but not translated at that time was when Yashiro left after having sex with Doumeki and talked to Ryuuzaki in the car. After some time of digging the internet (God, it's so difficult to find anything nowadays, all the manga reading sites that I used in the past are gone) I finally found out that the manga is still ongoing and without a moment of hesitation I devoured it from start to finish. All the feelings that I had for this ship came back to me with a new force. How did I live not even thinking about it for so long? Was I dead?

Not sure how I was gonna function until new release that was supposed to be at the end of November, I obviously reread Saezuru countless times. I also tried rereading other stuff and looking for something new but nothing compared to this. Then, something hit me. What was the name of this manga that I used to see some random panels of in my explore page on instagram? About some teenagers doing teenager stuff but also being kinda gay about it. I specifically remembered the panel of two boys on the bed, one with his upper body on the floor, the other on top of him. I was almost positive that there was number 19 in the title, so it didn't take too much time to find it and start reading. Yeah, the beginning is a little bit dark and I was a little confused looking at those short, a few panels long chapters and random art, but when the middle school part began I was immediately in love. I logged into tumblr again and proceeded to read as many posts analyzing this masterpiece as I could find.

I'm obsessed. I feel like a teenager again. I can't think about anything else. My mind is preoccupied with TianShan and I can't function anymore. There are so many thoughts, so many ideas in my head I'm scared it's going to explode if I don't let it out somehow. That is why I created this side blog. The only problem is that I'm an adult and I got adult stuff to do. I wish I was around when I still had some more free time on my hands. Also, I feel a little creepy for being 32 and drooling over 15 year old boys. On the other hand... isn't Old Xian about my age? Maybe it's alright then lol.

I think that's it. Just wanted to explain how I got here and warm up before posting anything else. Now I'm embarrassed thinking that someone might actually read this. At this point I can't tell if I'm going to post much of my own content or if I'll just abandon this blog when life gets in the way. Nevertheless, here's where my fandom journey begins.

#I don't know what I'm doing #hi there I'm new here #rainy19days personal

[laurafereday2022]

The Colour Craft Revolution

Part 3: Let’s talk about my pieces in look 1, pt 2

Big shorts

What I now refer to as the big shorts, actually didn’t start out very big at all. I initially drew them as pictured below, just a simple pair of funky board shorts, as to not distract from the matching jumper, but I later decided that I was just holding myself back for no reason.

I really love elasticated waistbands. I think the make everything so much more fun. I don’t know how to describe it, but it gives things a ‘good scrunch’. I also felt that to make the proportions more interesting, I’d make them bigger. I designed the shorts on a piece of paper out of my waitressing notepad, so unfortunately it’s lost. But I basically just made these super wide shorts.

While I loved my first toile, they were far more drapey than I had intended, and also a bit too long. To solve this I took about 10cm off the bottom, and also interfaced 10cm off the bottom. This seemed to fix the issue.

For my print, I was moronically dead set on doing it all by hand. As a massive emphasis of my collection was slow practices and hand techniques, I wanted to draw my squiggles by hand. This would also mean I had really natural organic shapes.

To do this, I used Posca pens. I found out that if you heat set them, they will stay of fabric. My swatch came out awesome. The colours were super fun and vibrant, which is just what I was after, so I decided to go ahead and do all four pieces in this method. Omg it took forever!! Considering the amount of work I’d signed myself up for, this wasn’t the most appreciated, but I am still so happy with it, they look awesome. Oh! I forgot to mention that I crocheted my pockets. I loved the loose yarn texture against the more structured woven broadcloth. These shorts are so much fun. The top flap can also be folded down for a ‘cute little clown moment’ as I phrased it on my Instagram.

In the end, these shorts worked better in look 1. The big waistband just got lost under the Movement Moment jumper, and I found that the combo of the tiny tee and balaclava with these massive shorts was quite fun.

[findinganne]

#a6 fanart #fanart #andromeda six #juniper nyux #beginner artist #( my drawings. ) #i'm so mad that this turned out looking so... young?? #& the gun is just plain awfuuuul #sigh but i'm sharing it anyways #still better than my initial drawing on Instagram was so ~ #there's that at least #can't be too mad @ myself

[andthelightswavegoodbye]

A Certain Someone and Manipulation

Edit as of May 3rd: I'm afraid the linked post is no longer available as the account has since been deleted or deactivated. I'm not sure when This happened but apologies in advance!

As I’m sure many in the NIN blog community have heard by now, A fairly popular fanartist (MMY) has been called out for publicly posting N*crophilia, and months prior, P*dophillia. This in turn caused a suicide bait of said person, and things got out of control from there. I encourage everyone in this community to check out the post created by @playthegoddamnedpart for further info on what happened, as well as multiple responses regarding the suicide bait (Mine Included) (Link to full thread here). 

Firstly, I like to make an apology statement. Rather than focusing on the problem - someone creating gore p*rn and posting it on a public platform where children can see - I focused on the suicide bait issue. Although I still don’t agree with those methods used, I was subsequently ignoring the issues at hand, and in a sense defending what MMY did. This was never my intention, but it still does not excuse me for what I did. I won’t go into full detail here, as my official response is in the aforementioned link, however I do think there’s still something important I need to warn others about. 

Long story short, it has been brought to my attention that MMY, whether they are aware of it or not, has slight manipulative tendencies, and I might have fallen into said trap. In case MMY pops up again (Highly likely), I want to share about how we grew to talk, and the possible manipulation so people can be further aware. I also acknowledge that my initial response to the situation is still fully my blame to take. 

Slight trigger warning for brief descriptions of what their art entails, as well as self-deprecation further ahead.

In terms of art, gore never usually bothered me. When I first stumbled upon Manmade Yellows (MMY) page some time ago, there was gore, but nothing overtly terrible from what I first saw. Sure, there was death (Examples being Trent choking another version of himself, or Trents head detached from it’s body), But I did not pay it much heed as I should have at the time. Part of this is due to my own desensitization, I will admit. They also depicted Trent in sexual situations (Example being in womens underwear). I liked the art well enough and followed them on Instagram. 

Very early on, I noticed on their instagram stories that they would become very self-loathing in terms of their art and self-worth. there was a lot of “I’m a terrible person, when my parents find out who I really am they’ll hate me”, “My art is terrible, I can’t even do lineart”, “I’m not even a real artist, I only draw porn”, “I’m a piece of shit who only spends their time addicted to porn and gore” “All I do is sit in my room” talk. The first time I saw this, it was extremely concerning and I found myself DMing them about how they were feeling. We talked a bit about, and I tried to be supportive, and then we’d move on. These self-deprecating stories were very common. I found myself saying “No, you’re a real artist. You make art, that’s the only qualifying factor in being an artist”, and they would reply with “It doesn’t have meaning, so it’s not real art”. I in turn would defend them.

I think that’s where the possible manipulation started. I don’t know if they were aware of them doing this, and they did accept compliments easier in time, but I still somehow ended up often trying to make them feel better, put them on a pedestal, because of the constant self-hatred. This led me to get a bit attached to them in a sense, as I too struggle with depression. But at the same time, I should not have continued getting involved. And it should have been obvious that they were posting about the hardships so much to the point it was probably unhealthy for the people reading it.

Along with the depression story posts, they would occasionally talk about instagram censorship, and art censorship in general. Things like how “social media is forcing art to be censored”, “I don’t have anywhere to post my art cause it always gets taken down” “Art shouldn’t be censored, it’s not fair to self expression” “This will just get taken down...”, etc. And to a degree, I agreed. They once gave an example of how renaissance-esque paintings got taken down for nudity on instagram, so “Yea I suppose what they’re saying makes sense”. But I was ignoring two key factors: This is Instagram, a place where kids are allowed to sign up on. And they weren’t posting “Just nudity”. If I’m honest, I’m probably too quick to agree on things. I shouldn’t have immediately folded on the subject. 

 This slowly turned into me outright supporting the gore and porn. I’d say “You draw dark stuff so inexplicably, it’s inspiring”. And to be honest, I still liked their art. I would be a liar if I said technically speaking, their art was bad. And I like dark art too. Some of it I DID truly enjoy, especially cause it depicted Trent, a celebrity that I really like. But I remember one specific set of posts where they depicted Trent getting his limbs chopped off, and just being “used”. And even I knew that was too far. But I think I’d grown so used to them posting gore or sexual stuff so often, and connected with them enough emotionally, that I let it slide and even liked those posts. On their insta story, they’d even post gore videos with the text “Mmmm so hot” or something. But they’d put silly emojis and a comedic tone so “theyre not actually turned on by gore, I’m sure”. That was a blatant red flag. I should have unfollowed then.

When the eventual eruption of what they’d posted happened, doubled with the suicide baiting, I immediately went to shame the baiter, yet didn’t say anything on MMY. I even DMed MMY asking if they were okay. I asked them upfront if they were legitimately a necrophile, and they said no. I took that as truth, and though we still don’t know the actual reality, considering they drew necro porn, I should not have trusted them so easily. They said they realize that maybe they have an issue and wanted to slow down on the gore drawings. I genuinely thought that to be true. They even had an instagram story saying “I realize what I did was wrong, and I won’t be doing this anymore” but looking back, even that was slightly self-deprecating. Afterwards, I noticed that they posted on their story less about wanting to fix things and focused more onto attacking everyone else. it was no longer “I shouldn’t have done that” and it turned into “I don’t care. You guys are just so caught up in your censorship” “I’m just terrible, but whatever”. That’s when I started to really doubt the side I was on. It wasn’t until the tumblr post that I previously mentioned called MMY out, as well as an Instagram comment I left on a post (Talking about the suicide baiting), That I fully realized what I was doing. I once again apologize. I ignored many redflags,  and chose to pretend it wasn’t happening. Because I liked some of their art, I didn’t want to admit that some of it was morally wrong, because that would mean I too was doing something wrong. I fully admit that now. I have since blocked MMY on instagram. 

I still don’t know if this counts as manipulation. In the sense that they constantly shifted the blame from themselves to others, and often made themselves the victim, I would say yes. I think it’s plausible this happened to other followers of MMY, even from just reading their story reels. To anyone reading this, if you encounter MMY in the future, don’t pay their self loathing and insisting of “censorship being bad” any attention. Whether they mean to or not, they are always putting themselves in need “saving”, and always discounting others valid opinion for their own gain. I was gullible, and I don’t want anyone else to do what I did in the future.

#not fully nine inch nails related #but important for the nin fandom