#steddyhands-ish?
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Possessed by the idea of Ed sitting Stede down once he gets together with Izzy (just to be clear, I mean Stizzy getting together) and giving his co-captain a lecture about dating their first mate, since he's already got experience (kinda like Ted to Barney in HIMYM).
The rules are as follows:
1. No PDA. None. No matter how tiny the gestures might seem. Izzy Hands is not to be touched in view of others. Period. Unless Stede really wants to lose a finger or an eye.
2. No pet names under penalty of death. Ed has tried to call Izzy 'babe' exactly once. The screaming he got in return was not worth it.
3. All attempts at funny business during 'work hours' are strictly forbidden. Any tries result in a knife to the gut. Izzy doesn't let sex distract him from chores. Ever.
4. Izzy's hair is not to be petted, even if they look exceptionally fluffy. It's not done. Finger, eye, knife. You get the picture.
5. You do not coddle Izzy. Never offer him any comfy fluffy robes, bubble baths or such, even if he looks like death warmed over. It's best to leave him alone till he bounces back himself.
Stede listens to the list with rapt attention, nodding along, even starts taking notes at some point.
Then proceeds to do the exact opposite.
And Ed watches as Izzy lets him.
#ed's experience is just a bit out of date really#like... it's been years since he and Izzy had anything#he meant well!#that doesn't stop him from having a crisis over it all though#stizzy#izzy hands#stede bonnet#edward teach#steddyhands-ish?#ofmd#our flag means death
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guess
who
has finished the first chapter of the '#Izzy's uterus was fixed by the power of friendship' fic, aka the 'Omegas need to feel safe in order to present as Omegas, so Stede Bonnet comes back and makes The Revenge happy and peaceful again after the Kraken and now Izzy Hands is going into the first heat of his life at 50 and is FURIOUS about it' fic
#coming soon(ish) to an AO3 near you#probably next week because I gotta edit and I wanna get another chapter done before I upload the first one but AHHH#izzy hands#ofmd#steddyhands
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Steddyhand modern AU where they oops themselves into a throuple.
Ed and Izzy are roommates who run a business together. They are kind of an on-again-off-again, open-ish polyam sorta-couple that has never once had even a second of healthy communication about their relationship in the twenty years they’ve known each other.
Izzy meets Stede first because he actually attends the meetings for the local business owners association or whatever. Technically Stede should be competition but Izzy quickly decides he is an idiot and will probably go under soon. He’s weird as hell though, Ed would love that.
Ed does love that. He is delighted by the crazy shit he hears about the new guy and wants to meet him. The two hit it off because of course they do. That wouldn’t even bother Izzy all that much except between their flirting and their dumb dates, Ed and Stede want to talk about cooperative business ventures. And the business, that’s Ed and Izzy’s thing. They’ve worked hard to build it, together, and Izzy works hard still to protect it. he doesnt want to risk it on some crazy scheme these two come up with just because Ed is bored. So yeah he hates Bonnet, but its not romantic jealousy (or is it?)
The tension between Stede and Izzy comes to a head one evening when they are both drunk and still seething over an argument they had earlier in the day. Drinking turns to shouting. Shouting turns to shoving. Only a couple punches are thrown but there;s a lot of undignified scuffling around on the floor.
Izzy isn’t really sure later when wanting to rip Stede’s head off had turned into yanking that golden hair to pull him closer. Or who hungrily took whose lips first. He remembers a soft handkerchief cleaning his bloody nose on the short trip to the bedroom, remembers checking Stede’s split lip to assess if it could withstand further kissing. He doesnt remember how Edward inserted himself into the situation, but he does recall the man giggling as they tried to arrange the three of them on the bed and he nearly fell off the mattress.
He remembers everything after that too. Every touch, every kiss, every gasp and moan and sigh. The shock of twenty fingertips softly exploring him was a sensation burned into his brain forever now. He remembered it all. And he didn’t regret a second of it, even if it would be easier to.
No one says anything about it because thats just how Ed and Izzy are (emotionally incompetent) and Stede like just came out two months ago. He hasn’t dated since university and he’s certainly never had a threesome. He is completely unequipped to handle all this. So he just follows their lead.
So things mostly go on as normal with Stede and Ed spending time together and Izzy’s often around when they do. But Stede is a sweetheart, and a gentleman, and he also cannot stop thinking about how enjoyable that night was. It seems rude to not express that, but one doesn’t just say “thanks for that phenomenal sex”, do they? How does one, err, request a repeat?
Stede spots a gift he thinks Izzy might like and gives it to him. A short while later he notices the bag Izzy carries is nearly falling apart and replaces it with a nice satchel. Black leather, very cool, very much Izzy’s aesthetic, very much designer label and expensive as hell.
Stede has to cancel a date with Ed one night, but orders an absolutely ludicrous amount of takeout delivered to their place anyway. A lot of it is Izzy’s favorites.
Then there’s the concert tickets. He and Ed had given up hope of affording even nosebleed seats as soon as the tour had been announced, but Stede gets VIP, backstage passes, the works for all of them. Stede doesnt even like the band!
Izzy can’t take it anymore and has to ask Stede what the fuck. Why the gifts and the gestures and all this stuff? Is it just to butter Izzy up so he’ll agree to whatever dumb business idea the other two have?
“I didn’t think I needed a reason to do nice things for my boyfriend!”
“...boyfriend?” Izzy asks, just utterly shocked. He’s echoed by Ed, who sounds less surprised and more… considering.
“Um. Yes?” Stede, to his credit, does immediately read the room and start to realize he may have misstepped.
Izzy can’t even speak.
“Are you.. is it wrong to call you that? I just thought.. i mean, after that night..” Stede blushes fiercely. “I call Ed my boyfriend, after all, and i care about you just as much as I do him…
Stede trails off with both men staring at him.
Finally Ed chuckles. Izzy turns to scowl at him.
“What? Don’t look at me, mate. I thought you two already had a totally different arrangement sorted out. I didn’t say anything about it because I figured you’d be embarrassed about having a sugar daddy.”
#steddyhands#this was literally just supposed to be Ed's sugar dadd tease and it turned into a fucking novel#omfd modern au#idk why but i rly want Izzy as a sugar baby and so damn mad about it because Stede didnt work for his money or struggle like izzy did#he wants to hate the nice things stede gives him but he also wants to own them to prove he is just as good as the rich fucks#just as deserving.#but he wouldnt seek them for himself because being happy feels like hedonism to izzy hands#and he knows he doesnt need Stede to survive. stede doesnt pay his bills or settle his debts. so he's conflicted about accepting it on a lot#of levels. but... he LIKES it.#Meanwhile Stede Bonnet who has never looked at a price tag in his life because the cost has never been beyond his means#is barely even aware of the term 'sugar daddy' and walking around thinking#'my smol angry boyfriend is such a cutie'
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Izzy Hands Fic Recs (May 1-16th)
My favorite of the Izzy fics that I read between May 1-16th 2023. See other recs here.
An Ever-Fixed Mark by sunspeckfreckle (Ed/Stede/Izzy)
Ed boggled at him. "What? Izzy and I aren't married."
Mechanical Heart, Human Soul by conjurewithlies (Ed/Stede/Izzy)
Israel Hands is a condemned man, and a condemned man is a desperate one, and everyone knows it. The prison guards know it, the lawyer the state provided him with knows it, and the slimy cunts who come to offer him a way out know it. He's a condemned man yes, and a desperate one, but he's not fucking stupid no matter what any of them might think and he'll do anything to save those few he considers his. An OFMD/Terminator Salvation-ish mashup for Steddyhands Week 2023.
The Devil Wears Leather by queenclio (Ed/Stede/Izzy)
When Stede Bonnet's favorite writer, Edward Teach, is in Manhattan for a reading of his latest novel, Stede attends in hopes of meeting him and asking for a favor. For years, Stede has been unsuccessful in getting the attention of the illustrious Israel Hands of Bound Hands Press... Little does Stede know that Ed's not just Bound Hands' biggest author, but also Izzy's husband.
His Name Is Izzy by lostmagician (Ed/Stede/Izzy)
Blackbeard gets into contact with Stede, and Izzy is tasked with a simple mission: pick up the man from an inn on Cat Island and return him to the Revenge. But what he finds upon arrival, is a sickly pale Stede, who can barely walk, much less stand. This is how four days of caretaking forever changes their relationship.
bleed to love her by oopshidaisy (Ed/Stede/Izzy)
If it had been nothing more than an accident of sex, Izzy wouldn’t have gone with her. She’d have fought her way out, somehow, found a new crew, forgotten all about the tall, bearded woman and her enchanting voice. But it wasn’t. When all was said and done, it was very simple: from that moment on, Izzy knew who she belonged to.
Bilged on His Anchor by ItsClydeBitches (Ed/Stede/Izzy)
Trouble begins when a routine visit to Spanish Jackie’s brings to light Ed’s matelotage to Anne Bonny, her desire to rekindle that old flame… and the fact that she’s not taking no for an answer. Stede, well-meaning and just a little bit stupid, tries to fix things with a lie: Ed is married to him now. Oh, and they’re both dating Izzy.
Beg For It by fookintentacle (Stede/Izzy)
Stede and Izzy "bond" over shared heartbreak.
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so first off SALS includes the right both to like and hate a ship. it just means be chill. but basically as someone who (sorry) enjoys steddyhands/stizzy (sorry)... man I wish more of people who were into it were normal (sorry again). like dude it sucks having to basically go into fics with a checklist of things that it needs to do or avoid, or suddenly hitting one sentence and going "fuck this shit, I'm out."
I've always been a crack-ish multishipper. putting characters into relationships who are not canonically in one and maybe shouldn't be and thinking about what might happen has always been fun for me. relationships are emotionally intense and great for character drama/interactions in general. and these ships only work if you soften izzy. like obviously. I think there are ways to do it that keep him more recognizable, but sometimes people just don't care.
to me, stizzy without steddyhands only works in some kind of au where neither of them know ed, and even then I think you should ask yourself why you are pairing them together and not gentlebeard. I think there are legitimately premises that you could explore with stizzy and not with gentlebeard. on the most basic levels there's the enemies-to-lovers thing, but there's also izzy's toxic masculinity/internalized homophobia issues. how would he deal with being in a relationship with his complete antithesis? how would this force him to confront his inner demons? how would stede react to these struggles? how would he try to help, and when would he get mad at izzy for being an asshole? you can write a story where getting together with stede forces ed to confront his inner demons, but the stizzy version of that and the gentlebeard version of that are not going to be the same story.
in the end, I think this comes down to a very basic disconnect (besides the racism and shitty tropes, and all that). in my mind there are two kinds of fanfiction: fanfiction that exists primarily to be in communication with its source text, and fanfiction that exists primarily to get an emotional response out of the audience (porn, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, any emotion, basically). this isn't a one-or-the-other situation, but every fic and every writer thinks one of these is more important than the other. every fic favors one of those goals. and having the latter goal isn't a bad thing! most bad fics have the latter goal, but not every fic with the latter goal is a bad fic.
stizzy and steddyhands, as ships, do not exist primarily to be in communication with the source text. and if they are, that communication is usually opinions I don't like (izzy deserves to be a protagonist or some shit, yknow). these ships exist for porn, for hurt/comfort, for angst, for fluff, for creating a highly specific emotional experience for the author and readers. "well why are they even writing fanfiction then?"/"why don't they go find other characters who are closer to the dynamic they're writing" because they are attached to these characters and want them involved in these emotions, and because they are okay with their work being very different from the source material.
idk if this makes any sense lol. it's not exactly a defense or anything. it's definitely not a defense of people who think ed needs to be babysat, fuck those guys. I guess I just kinda wanted to give my perspective on why these ship interest me? I think a lot of y'all's posts on the subject come down to: "why would anyone like this? it wouldn't work in canon" and the canyon response to that is "well it does actually *some fucking bullshit, etc etc*" and my response to that is "I know, I'm fine with that, I just like the situations it opens up and I like the emotional catharsis I can experience from some of these fics, even tho they are 'bad fics' in that they are not in any sort of real communication with the source text." and you can think that's bad lol, like it does sound kinda bad when I write it out like that. but you can't get the specific flavors of emotional catharsis from fics from any other medium of art, generally speaking. not in the same way, not easily, and not in 2k words.
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20 Questions for fic writers
Thank you @yerbamansa for tagging me in this!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
9
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
213,812
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Our Flag Means Death
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Laundry Service (91,893 words) Modern AU, Ed/Stede long-distance relationship
Hey Good Lookin’ (32,533 words) Modern AU, Ed/Stede cooking class meet cute
Exchanging Glances (26,093 words) Modern AU, Ed/Stede security cam voyeur
work that, work that, pop back, hurt that (3,416 words) Modern AU, Ed/Stede charity car wash
Sunlight in the Midnight (47,992 words) Modern AU, Ed/Stede nursing home romance
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I respond to every comment, unless it’s a binge read, then usually just the last comment. I’m a fairly shy person, even shyer on the internet for some reason, so when people comment, I just assume it takes a lot of effort. I love the different conclusions drawn, parallels or details pulled (intended or not), and I like to engage with that.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I don’t think I write angsty endings, even though I love reading them. I would say maybe Mutually Fulfilling, since it’s Oluwande trying to process Jim leaving while he’s having a nice threesome with Frenchie and Wee John? Or, maybe The Fish and The Bird, since it’s end of season one Roach and the gang marooned on the island?
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
I think they all have happy endings, except the more nebulous ones mentioned above! Happiest? Maybe Hey Good Lookin’ or Pearly Like the Whites of Your Eyes, which are just pretty fluffy bits all around.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Nope! People have been very cool.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Yeah! It’s been MLM so far, but I’d like to expand if I keep writing fic.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
Nope.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I don’t think so.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Nope.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
I feel like I co-write all of my fics with my wonderful beta. He’s got great story and plot instincts, and we build off of each other really well.
14. What’s your all time favorite ship?
I’ve only written Ed/Stede really, but I do love their weirdness and their matching puzzle pieces of insecurity and self-loathing. Maybe they’re my favorite! I’ve surely never saved and bought so much fanart for any other ship.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Oh, I took one down–sorry–because the guilt ate at me knowing I was never going to finish it. Plus, I hated it. I have some that I haven’t posted, and I doubt they’ll ever make it that far, as much as I want them to be written. I guess the three that nag at me the most are a “Coming to America” Oluwande/Jim (…..?) fic, a QVC Ed/Stede fic and a private eye Steddyhands-ish mystery.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Hm. I like writing comfortable, but slightly left-field premises and stories. I also love research, so writing Ed in Vietnam in Laundry Service was very fun to build, even though I haven’t been to Vietnam yet. I like when things are very grounded, which can also be to my detriment, I think.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Yeah, keeping things too grounded, maybe? Plot holes. Timelines. Emotional depth is something I really have to focus on and slow down to write, and even then it’s not always where I want it.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
That could be very cool and challenging to do as a longer piece. I’ve done bits with Jim in Spanish, Oluwande in Igbo, Roach in Arabic, and the Swede in Swedish. Some French gets thrown around. I would love love love to write more of Oluwande speaking a language native to West Africa, where Prince Azi’s accent nods to, which is why that “Coming to America” fic screams at me so much.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
This is the first fandom I’ve posted online for, and what a nice entry point. The last time I wrote fic was in high school twenty years ago, and that was just me and my bestie writing Saturday Night Live rpf in our notebook.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
Hands down, my current fic, Sunlight in the Midnight is my favorite fic that I’ve written so far. Forty-five year old Ed is a nurse at 81 year old Stede’s retirement community. I love that we call these middle-agers ‘old men,’ so I just made one of them actually old. I want to explore what it’s like to find love very late in life, emotionally and (of course) physically. I want to see some elderly queer love and sex. I think about these two all of the time. They’re still working through their bullshit and neuroses, and they have these histories that I love to dig into, and I just love them so much. A hyperfixation in a hyperfixation. I also feel like I’m watching myself grow in my writing in real time. I’m playing with some different things that I never thought I’d try (mainly with Stede’s journal entries), and it feels like a writing journal with different writing and story goals each chapter. I’m writing with all of the elements that I love from the show and my own life. I’m slowing things down. It’s a fic that makes me wish I was years ahead in my writing skills to catch up with how much I love these characters and want to properly tell their love story.
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20 Questions for FanFic Authors
Tagged by @dragonmuse, thank you! 🥰
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
39. I've been publishing since 2020, so a relative newbie, and I apparently can't write actual short works to save my life. I'm looking forward to hitting 50 fics, maybe even before the end of the this year, although that might be overly optimistic.
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
817,200. Also looking forward to hitting a million! I started writing fanfic in part because of Diane Duane's post about the first million words being for practice, but I've realized as I've gone that fanfic is also just more fun in a lot of ways than original work, because it's lower stakes and more silliness and really all about the community.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Mainly Our Flag Means Death and the DC universe. I have a long crossover plotted out in the Slayerverse but I haven't published any of it yet, and one fic (I think my shortest) that I wrote to expiate my feels for the fourth Matrix movie. Oh! And a few Good Omens, only one published so far.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
What Do You Do With a Drunken Sailor? , Our Flag Means Death, Izzy/Everyone + Canon Pairings. I started writing this one literally the night after I finished watching the show in late April 2022 and managed to hit the wave of gay pirate frenzy as the fandom was born. I swear I'll finish it. 😅
A Fucking Duel, Our Flag Means Death, endgame SteddyHands with some strong Sprizzy side-action. This started out as crack, again very early in the gay pirate brainrot, and then turned novella size on me when I wasn't looking.
To Err is Human, to Purr is Batman. DC. Shades of SuperBat but mostly Bat-Family focused. I turn Bruce Wayne into a cat. Pure fluff.
Mutually Beneficial. DC, SuperBat. Classic identity porn romcom with a sugar daddy twist. Nonbinary Clark Kent. My first fanfic on AO3!
Soaked to the Skin. Our Flag Means Death, Sprizzy with a side of BlackHands, my take on how things would go for the Revenge right after the first season ended, doesn't include any of the characters who weren't on the ship during SO1E10. Double the length of any other fic I've ever written!
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Always! I am a praise-gremlin and treasure every comment I receive. I also include answering comments in my total word count for the day (I made a resolution during the HHD 5781-82 to write more, and while it took me a little bit to get started, I have written at least 250 words a day since mid-December 2021). So answering comments often gets me pumped for writing more fic!
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Disregarding the prequels in the big dark vampire romp (which aren't really standalone) probably a tie between the surprise twists at the ends of Untethered and Gently in the Night? Both fics end happily but then have a little angsty setup for the sequel at the very end.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Definitely Mutually Beneficial. Most of my fics end happily but I usually try to leave them somewhat open without doing a lot of epilogueish kind of things. MB was an exception where I wrote two fluffy epilogues with lots of romance and sex because I didn't want to leave my boys! Although honestly now when I think back on it I think it would have been a stronger work if I'd ended it right after the climax and posted the fluffy epilogues as separate works.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
There was this one unregistered user who went through all my SuperBat fics and engaged in this long comment thread where he accused me of not liking Clark Kent? (Which, almost all my DC fics have Clark as the protagonist, I adore him, so). It was very surreal. I eventually just deleted it every time they'd write a new comment and they stopped after like two or three of those.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Lots of smut! It's actually just in the past year that I've stretched myself to write more Gen-ish fics with WDYDWADS and TEIH, and it somewhat surprised me that those became my two most popular fics in their respective fandoms.
As far as what kind, I really try to diversify but the strongest commonalities tend to be strong power dynamics, bondage, pain-play, and consent-play, with my darkest stuff going hard into noncon. I have fluid squicks so I tend to avoid anything in that area.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
The only one I have published is the Our Flag Means Death/Pirates of the Caribbean (which seems pretty obvious, I'm honest surprised there isn't more). I have the whole arc plotted out where the vampire!DCU series is going to branch out into the Slayerverse. Hopefully I'll actually write it one of these days.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I'm aware of. I don't go looking, but my works aren't crazy popular, either.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
A couple! I'm always really honored. 🥰 Many thanks to people who labor for fandom.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
I did a long entirely cowritten canonized fiction for Steve Stirling's Emberverse—it's published on his site, not AO3, and under my real name, so don't go looking! (Nah, JK, I won't link it but I don't care if people figure it out).
And then I wrote this companion piece to Rimbaud's Give Pearls Away and Rubies. I had nothing to do with his piece, but he consulted heavily on mine. And Dragonmuse and I starting workshopping a Dragonriders of Pern pastiche that we might finish one of these days. 🤣
14. What’s your all time favorite ship?
Can I say the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one? It's the platonic ideal of a ship, really... 😂
Otherwise I really don't have one, I'm too poly for that. Even the ships I'm most feral about, I'll ship any of them with other people.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I won't say the DCU/Slayerverse crossover because I refuse to doubt that I'll finish it one day. So let's go with the JLA bad orgy crack—I actually posted on that one that it should be considered abandoned. I still love the idea but I kinda just ran out of steam.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Exposition, worldbuilding, delving into character emotions. Metaphors and whimsy.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Having actual plots. Action scenes. Actually finishing/ending anything.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I speak enough French and Hebrew to do either of those (and have).
I've done a very little Spanish for Jim from OFMD, but I tend to just copy actual stuff that they've said in canon. I do have a Puerto Rican friend that I've leaned on occasionally, but she's busy and I don't want to make it her job to constantly write dialogue for me so I usually try to avoid it.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Define "wrote." 😂
When I was a teenager I plotted out long self-insert fixits for Star Trek, Harry Potter (look, even then the only thing I wanted to do in that verse was fix its many sins), X-Files, Stargate, and Buffy. I never wrote any of them down, though, just enjoyed the daydreaming.
Well, I lie, I did actually write about 60K eventually in an original novel that was based on some of the dynamics I'd created in the HP one, but that's the only one I ever got out on paper and it was altered enough that its origin was pretty unrecognizable.
If we're counting published anywhere, it's Stirling's Emberverse.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
Soaked to the Skin. I'm honestly so proud of the actual! plot! in that one, the narrative flow, the emotional arcs, and like. the fact that I actually finished it. Even now a year later, every time I get a comment or kudo on that fic it sends this thrill of happiness up my spine.
Tagging (only if you want it), @thetardigrape, @sunless-garden, and @jupitermelichios.
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Imagine OFMD crossed into a Sentinel universe.
Izzy has been helping Ed all these years, but they had no actual training (like the rich ponces get). Back in the Hornigold days, Calico Jack could sometimes help Ed out too. So Izzy is so upset at Stede’s relationship with Ed because he’s seen Ed zone before. (cue fine fabrics, lavender soap, these other sensory ‘traps’.) Ideally it would go toward Steddyhands, maybe Stede is a trained but weak-ish Guide?
Please let there be Sentinel fans in OFMD.
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I would like to do fanart cause I think ur cool but I can only do cute ish style, I'd there smth that you'd like it a sort of cute style
safsdsfsd????? this is so nice?? 🥺🥺🥰🥰 thank you so much?????
i love cute styles. i'd love something blackhands or steddyhands in a cute style????? sdggdgdfg
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open the floodgates
by TheThirdTemptationOfParis
Ed finishes tying Izzy’s legs to the chair just as Stede finishes with his arms. He’s naked as the day he was born, doing his best to stay completely still. Stede runs a hand through his hair, thumb rubbing just beside his temple. “Since you can’t be trusted to sit here on your own,” he says, a too-polite smile on his face.
Ed and Stede cuck Izzy, and it has an underlying purpose.
Steddyhands Week Day 6! Edstede-centric (kinda. they're the ones fucking but you know. Izzy is the one with the emotions) smut.
Words: 1607, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Series: Part 6 of Steddyhands Week 2023
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: Multi
Characters: Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Israel Hands, Stede Bonnet
Relationships: Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet/Israel Hands, Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet
Additional Tags: Cuckolding, Exhibitionism, Voyeurism, Mind Games, Trans Israel Hands, Trans Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Soft Dom Stede Bonnet, Sub Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Sub Israel Hands, Subdrop, Emotionally Repressed, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Bondage, this was supposed to be funny haha, it is no longer funny haha, it is still, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, ish, Aftercare, Steddyhands Week 2023, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort
source https://archiveofourown.org/works/47295820
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Mechanical Heart, Human Soul
by conjurewithlies
Israel Hands is a condemned man, and a condemned man is a desperate one, and everyone knows it. The prison guards know it, the lawyer the state provided him with knows it, and the slimy cunts who come to offer him a way out know it. He's a condemned man yes, and a desperate one, but he's not fucking stupid no matter what any of them might think and he'll do anything to save those few he considers his.
An OFMD/Terminator Salvation-ish mashup for Steddyhands Week 2023
Words: 2362, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Series: Part 2 of SteddyhandsWeek2023
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV), Terminator - All Media Types
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: Multi
Characters: Israel Hands, Stede Bonnet, Blackbeard | Edward Teach, The Badminton Twins
Relationships: Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet/Israel Hands, Stede Bonnet/Israel Hands
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Steddyhands Week 2023, Pre-Steddyhands, Alternate Universe - Terminator Fusion, Transhumanism, Minor Badminton cameo
source https://archiveofourown.org/works/47223055
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Podfic for “The One With Size Queen Stede (Coffee Boys 2)” by unpleasantdiversions
by SierraJaneSims
Fic summary: Steddyhands, probably a loose-ish definition of size kink, Stede has eyes for getting fucked with something big. Bottom Stede.
Written for day 7 of Kinktober & Flufftober combined: movie night, size kink. Previously posted as a chapter in "Fluffy Kinktober-ish Swirl."
Words: 6, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Series: Part 5 of Unpleasantdiversions: Fluffy Kinktober-ish Swirl
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet/Israel Hands
Additional Tags: Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic, Podfic Length: 0-10 Minutes, Modern AU
source https://archiveofourown.org/works/46371811
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Podfic for “The One With Only One Bed” by unpleasantdiversions
by SierraJaneSims
Fic summary: Ed/Izzy, rated probably T or even gen? it's very soft but there is a mention of a raid having happened.
Takes place in some nebulous future steddyhands situation.
Written for day 6 of Kinktober & Flufftober combined: bathing & only one bed. Previously posted as a chapter in "Fluffy Kinktober-ish Swirl."
Words: 6, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Series: Part 4 of Unpleasantdiversions: Fluffy Kinktober-ish Swirl
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet/Israel Hands
Additional Tags: Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic, Podfic Length: 0-10 Minutes
source https://archiveofourown.org/works/46371754
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Podfic for “The One On a Technicality” by unpleasantdiversions
by SierraJaneSims
Fic summary: Featuring an ill-fated attempt at on-deck sfw aftercare, a retreat to a private space, & a bit of preparatory head. The "coming untouched" is after the "getting hard touched," so maybe it's coming untouched on a technicality.
POV flips when they go below deck. Set in some vague happily-ever-after steddyhands future.
Written for days 4 & 5 of Kinktober & Flufftober combined: aftercare/afterglow, oh moment, desk sex, coming untouched. Previously posted as a chapter in "Fluffy Kinktober-ish Swirl."
Words: 6, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Series: Part 3 of Unpleasantdiversions: Fluffy Kinktober-ish Swirl
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet/Israel Hands
Additional Tags: Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic, Podfic Length: 10-20 Minutes
source https://archiveofourown.org/works/46371697
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Podfic for “The One with the Apologies” by unpleasantdiversions
by SierraJaneSims
Fic summary: Set just a bit after S01E10. Content includes: leather care, depression, mention of toe, heartbreak, cuddling, and one dude who has like no idea whatsoever that he's in love. Rated T to keep in line with the general rating of the show.
Written for day 3 of Kinktober & Flufftober combined: leather, caretaking. Canon era. Previously posted as a chapter in "Fluffy Kinktober-ish Swirl."
Words: 6, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Series: Part 2 of Unpleasantdiversions: Fluffy Kinktober-ish Swirl
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Blackbeard | Edward Teach & Israel Hands
Additional Tags: Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic, Podfic Length: 10-20 Minutes, Implied Future Steddyhands
source https://archiveofourown.org/works/46371622
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The One With Size Queen Stede (Coffee Boys 2)
by unpleasantdiversions
Steddyhands, probably a loose-ish definition of size kink, Stede has eyes for getting fucked with something big. Bottom Stede.
Written for day 7 of Kinktober & Flufftober combined: movie night, size kink. Previously posted as a chapter in "Fluffy Kinktober-ish Swirl."
Words: 1081, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Series: Part 5 of Fluffy Kinktober-ish Swirl
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: M/M
Characters: Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Israel Hands, Stede Bonnet
Relationships: Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet/Israel Hands
Additional Tags: Size Queen Stede Bonnet, Bottom Stede Bonnet, Ed's trying to watch netflix this is all Izzy's job, well Ed's gonna get his cock warmed too so.
source https://archiveofourown.org/works/45605320
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