Modern things I want Alastor to live-react to on his radio show (aka I find amusement in his bewilderment and concern):
Dubstep
Skibidi Toilet
TikTok dances to badly remixed pop songs
The entire concept of McDonald's
A compilation of the most insane k-pop fandom drama on social media
True Crime Girlies
The culture surrounding Stanley cups
5 Minute Crafts
The Tide Pod Challenge
The Bee Movie
Reddit
Omegaverse
The dramatic reading of My Immortal
The comedy bits of our radio channels (he'd despair)
The songs of SEVERAL modern musicals ESPECIALLY SpongeBob, Twisted and the Book of Mormon
asdf movie
The Fault in our Stars audiobook (he'd hate it)
Aroace Memes
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I am so glad you’re taking reqs!! Beach sex with rafayel on my mind 24/7 😔😳
not u reading my mind...💓💓
☆
𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐮𝐩! ˚⋆𓇼˚⊹ 𖦹 ⁺。°
𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐥 𝐱 𝐚𝐟𝐚𝐛! 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
𝐜𝐰: 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐬𝐞𝐱, 𝐩𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐜 𝐬𝐞𝐱, 𝐜𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐬, 𝐩 𝐢𝐧 𝐯, 𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐥 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐫
'it's 30°C in linkon right now, people! that means swimming, beach parties, sex on the beach, and beaches."
you groaned at the weather reporter's distasteful pun and reached out to turn the volume of your mini radio down. huffing, you kneeled on your beach towel, re-knotting the strings of your bikini top. your eyes almost rolled to the back of your head when you felt stares on you, clenching your fist, you turned around to give whatever man thinks he has the audacity to-
"rafayel." you exclaimed in a relieved tone, letting your fist sink. said man cocked his head to the side with his signature smile - he was wearing dark blue swimming trunks and a creamy shirt, which he left unbuttoned. sunglasses sat on his purple hair, and the sun shined so brightly on him, it almost made his strands look lavender. "is an excuse of a man giving you trouble?" he asked, his voice laced with a tilt of threat. you shook your head, stretching out your legs and supporting your upper body with your arms to look at him. "i'd take care of that myself." you started, pursing your lips, "what're you doing here? i didn't think you'd be the type to enjoy public beaches."
the artist crouched down to be on eye level with you and began to draw random shapes into the sand. "you'd be right. i'm just passing through to the private beach i rented." he pointed his finger westways, signaling to a lonely patch of sand surrounded by trees. you gawked at him after the words 'rented' and 'private beach' left his throat and shook your head in disbelief. "rich people have weird hobbies."
rafayel let out a fake 'ha, ha.' but the grin on his face was genuine. letting his magenta eyes travel around the beach, he took in the empty beer bottles and weird people hanging around. "come, join me. this place sucks."
so you did. even though your crocs were filling up with hot sand, it was thrilling to have a beach just for the two of you. after placing your (definitely not spongebob printed) bath towel, rafayel immediately lifted you over his shoulder and dropped you into the icy, salty seawater. resurfacing, you gasped - pulling your wet hair back from your face.
"you."
just hearing the pure, hot anger in your tone, rafayel booked it into the other direction. "you motherfucker!" you sprinted after him, hunter senses kicking in until you tackled him onto the ground. "you're under arrest, rafayel." a cheshire cat-like grin formed on his face, his eyes lighting up with mischief. "what're you gonna do to me, miss hunter?" he began, leaning closer to your face. "what's my sentence?" he whispered, slowly turning both of you around. feeling the energy switch abruptly, you broke eye contact. "i'll...keep you in a small fishbowl, like cosmo and wanda."
letting out a chuckle, he kissed your bare shoulder. "doesn't seem that bad." nuzzling deeper into your neck, he pressed hot mouthed kisses to your throat and collarbone, making you whine out needily. "please, rafa. not here, they'll see." locking eyes with him, you knew this was a useless battle. his eyes were glazed over, a hunger you knew all too well reflecting in them. "I don't care." he said, voice muffled by your skin. spreading your legs, you gave him space to settle, which he took with delight. "seems like you don't care, either." you reacted with a pout, not wanting to admit you were down bad this immensely for him. "I'm still dripping from your attack. it must taste bad. or maybe it'll make a fish like you nostalgic."
rafayel laughed at your attempts to cover your shyness, finding it weirdly endearing. it is very unlike him to choose to stay quiet, but he did - drawing a map from your collarbone, between your chest and down to your waist with his lips, wetting them with seawater and the taste of you. he tightened the grip on your thighs once you started squirming, letting his other hand travel just a bit higher to undo the strings of your bikini and let it fall down your legs.
"fuck, I can't wait to taste you." rafayel rasped, guiding your legs onto his shoulders. a bright blush erupted on your cheeks, and you covered your face with your hands, panicking slightly. it's not like this is the first time you've slept with him, though somehow the same feeling pooled in your tummy - a mixture of embarrassment and excitement. rafayel's passionate and upfront personality makes sex feel so much more like an adventure. kissing your inner thighs, he teased what was about to happen, making you cage him in as if it were a reflex. "tsk." he tutted, tapping his finger on the plump of your upper legs to warn you. "behave."
it's very unlike you to submit, but for him, you do. you arch your back, whine and moan as he parts your wet folds with his fingers and licks long stripes between them, stopping everytime once he reaches your clit - kissing, biting and sucking it. thinking about having the most sought-after man in linkon between your legs makes this even more intense, and you feel yourself getting wetter. rafayel notices this as well, pumping a finger into your hole to make more of your juices seep out. he just liked the taste of you too much, he can't help it.
"get on your stomach." he said, watching you turn over. luckily, you caught a short glimpse of his reddened ears and his wet chin. once you were positioned to his liking, he gave your ass a spank, watching it jiggle with delight. a yelp escaped you as he did it again, grabbing it forcefully and pulling you flush against his hardened cock. feeling him pulse through the fabric of his trunks had you mewing, grinding your backside against him feverishly. "impatient, huh?" he commented hotly, clumsily pulling his drooling cock out, "me too."
all this waiting had you dizzy. grunting, you reached back and took his cock in you hand, to which he let out a surprised gasp. you felt it oozing out pre and almost moaned at how turned on your lover was too. not-so gently, you guided him between your folds and pressed your ass to his pelvis, taking it all at once. feeling him fill you up so nicely, his tip prodding at your cervix and every twitch of his pale dick mingling into your walls made you moan deliciously.
"fuck, (y/n), you're driving me insane." he whined, pushing his hand to your upper back to press you down, rafayel started to languidly drag his cock along your walls. everyone knows this artist isn't known for his patience or for being monotone, so the rhythm faltered quickly, ending in him thrusting into you so hardly, your ass clapping against his thighs echoed through the beach. you feared the water god he talked about might feel the ripples on the sea, cursing you for being so naughty in front of his domain. you screamed out, helplessly scratching at the sand underneath you as some sort of anchor for your sanity, but you lost yourself to the pleasure the moment he wrapped his arms around you and pressed his chest against your back, freely moaning and cursing into your ear.
"princess, you feel so good. fuck, your pussy is creaming on my cock, it's gonna suck me dry this time, I swear." he babbles. rafayel talks a lot normally, but once he loses himself inside you, the words just flow out. "r-ra-af", you choke out between thrusts, "it feels so good, oh my god." your pussy flutters once he hits a certain spot, and he immediately notices - abusing it with no hold-backs. if there's anything he wants, it's for you to go above and beyond the lines of pleasure, so he starts circling your clit with three fingers quickly, drawing circle and infinity shapes just how you like it. with no warning, no build up, you fall apart quickly, screaming his name to the heavens while you feel your soul escaping your body with a mind shattering orgasm. after a few seconds, your body is drained off all strength, and you become a doll in his hands to fuck his cum into.
"(y/n), you should've seen your face right now, never saw something more beautiful. it was so hot, fuck-" he buries his head into your neck while he lazily thrusts into you a few times more, stuffing his cock so deep into your pussy you fear he might target your womb. he doesn't move, keeping his pelvis flush against your back while filling you up -
"fuck, it's yours. I'm yours. take it."
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Joey B Blurbs: Psycho
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Summary: You and Joe do a trend where you separately leave the room to see how the twins would react to each parent leaving.
Warnings: Fluff!
Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader
Imagine Universe: Into the Mystic
A/N: Part 4 of blurb night!
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No particular date for this blurb!
Grabbing my phone out of my pocket when it started ringing, I was surprised to see it was Joe calling.
“Baby, you're just out on the back deck. Why didn't you just knock on the door?” - you
“I dunno, but can you come here, please?” - Joe
I looked over my shoulder to see that Tyson and Miles were still occupied watching Spongebob.
“Sure.” - you
I was in the kitchen fixing the sides for dinner as Joe was out back grilling chicken.
When I walked outside onto the deck, I smiled at the sight of my handsome husband sprawled out on the outdoor couch.
“Wassup?” - you
“I saw this TikTok that I wanna do.” - Joe
“Who are you, and what have you done with my husband?” - you
Joe rolled his eyes Before grabbing my waist and pulling me onto his lap, I leaned my head onto his shoulder and pressed a kiss onto his neck.
“As much as I love the closeness, I'm afraid I'm gonna crush you.” - you
“Do you know the weight of the guys I get tackled by? You couldn't crush me if you tried.” - Joe
“Oh, whatever.” - you giggled
Wrapping my hand around Joe’s bicep, I grinned when he flexed his arm, his icy stare never leaving my eyes.
“I love your arms.” - you
“I love you.” - Joe
I leaned down and gave Joe a thorough kiss, butterflies erupting in my stomach when he ran his hands over my waist and down to my bump.
“Your body is luscious.” - Joe
Catching on to the fact that he was hyping me up because of my earlier comment about crushing him, I wrapped my arms around his neck and squeezed him.
“I love you so much.” - you
“I love you more.” - Joe
“Arguing with that statement gets me nowhere, so how about you show me the TikTok you want to do?” - you
Joe chuckled as he pulled his phone out, clicking TikTok and going to his saved videos.
It was a video of a couple, leaving the room individually to see how their kids would react.
“I wanna do it with the twins.” - Joe smiled
——
Later, after dinner, Joe and I sat down on the couch with the twins, my phone recording on the TV stand.
Joe stood up first, and I didn't miss how Tyson’s lips formed a pout.
“Dada?” - Tyson
He stood up and faced the back of the couch, watching as Joe walked down the hallway.
Miles didn't seem to notice, but it made sense; Tyson was always a daddy’s boy, while Miles was a Momma’s boy.
Now, when I got up, Miles immediately whined.
“Nooo.” - Miles mumbled
I walked into the hallway - where Joe was waiting for me with a big grin on his face.
“Hey, gorgeous.” - Joe whispered
“I think it went how we thought it would, Tyson cared more about you leaving, and Miles cared more about me leaving.” - you
Joe wrapped his arms and pulled me against him, well, as much as he could with my belly.
Leaning forward to press his lips to mine, Joe slowly swayed back and forth, kissing me over and over again.
“You know all of this is probably getting recorded by my phone.” - you grinned
He shrugged and kissed me again.
“Even better.” - Joe
Another kiss.
“You’re psycho, Burrow.” - you
“And you love me for it.” - Joe grinned
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Authors note: Next fic at 8:45!!!
Request for this fic;
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