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faiiryteethh · 2 months

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Trigger Warning: Rare Illness/Health Issues [wasn't sure if this need a tw but these topics make some ppl uncomfy so i wanted to be considerate anyway💜]

so a lot of ppl have been asking me why i don't post pics anymore or why i have barely been on social media compared to how i used to be. and the reason is i've been having severe health issues for a very long time. i can't even remember the last time i went more than a month without feeling nauseous, or actually throwing up, or just having headaches and stomach pain that are so bad i can barely tolerate them.

i've known for a while that i have gastritis, but my mom & my bf convinced me to go to a new doctor for a second opinion. after months & months of pure agony and feeling exhausted and sick to the point where i have no energy, i finally know why. i went to a specialist and discovered i have a rare illness called CVS (Cyclic vomiting syndrome). and i also am lactose intolerant which was amplifying my symptoms because i eat dairy products constantly.

i am going to be starting treatment for it and i really hope it improves my life and my ability to function because i am so tired of "living" like this. just existing has been exhausting and painful. i literally haven't been able to accomplish any of the goals i have because i can't go more than a few days without feeling horrible.

i already feel useless because i'm autistic and i have bipolar 1 and i'm waiting on disability payments to come through because i am unable to work with my disabilities. so my bf has been working and doing his best to take care of me and our kids. i just feel so horrible and guilty all the time. and i genuinely didn't know why i feel sick 24/7. all i want is to feel like myself again. and to do all the things i miss doing. i feel like i'm trapped by this illness.

i'm grateful to have answers and know what i'm dealing with finally. but after suffering like this almost every single day for so long its so hard to feel hopeful for the future at this point. i'm literally in tears as i type this. its just been really bad. i never do my makeup anymore or feel good about myself. i can barely move sometimes because the pain in my stomach is so bad or i get pain in my throat from vomiting for hours at a time, and then i get MORE pain from dry heaving due to not being able to hold down any food. and then i get random migraines and headaches that last all day as a result of all of that. its taking a huge toll on my body and my mental health. my depression gets worse during the winter season so when this started getting really bad it just made my mental health a million times worse. its literal hell.

but yeah thats why i haven't been online. real life is hard enough and i haven't been motivated to post because of the hell i'm going through or a lot of the time i physically CAN'T make content. but i'm going to keep trying. i'm going to do every fucking thing my doctors tell me to do because im so fed up with suffering. i promise that i will make content again and post the things i create and other stuff i used to post about before i stopped being able to function. as soon as i start to feel semi normal or at least well enough to do daily activities and complete even small goals, i will post about it. i'll keep u guys updated.

i appreciate every single person who follows me and my content, and all the ppl who keep checking up on me and wondering where the fuck i went. i love you guys so much💜 and i'm so sorry to all the ppl who haven't heard from me. if i can gain at least a little bit of my physical strength and health back, i will be so happy. i also am trying to get vitamins prescribed to me because im severely lacking nutrients but they are so expensive and i can't afford them out of pocket until i get my disability money. i'm also anemic and have to start taking iron supplements again. i'm just a giant ball of health issues😭 its actually ridiculous how bad my health has been. but i'm a mom and for that reason i will never stop trying. i will do whatever it takes to get better. i don't think my health could get much worse than it is currently. hopefully i didn't just jinx myself by saying that😭

sorry for the super long explanation, i just have sooo many messages in my inbox and questions that you guys send me that i haven't answered. i don't want to leave u in the dark. the connections i've made on this silly little blog mean the world to me. and everything i've been going through has been so hard to explain. but since i recently got a REAL answer as to why i'm suffering so much, i felt it was a good time to let you guys know what is going on with me. like i said, when i am able to feel somewhat normal again i will post consistently and re-open my shop too! it sucks so bad having a passion for creating but being too sick to even get out of bed other than to get sick in the bathroom. i've been to the emergency room more times this month than i have in the last 4 years. if i can overcome this awfulness i will not take it for granted. i will work harder than i ever have to create and share it with the world. but for now i just have to sit back and do whatever my doctors tell me to do and hope to god that it helps me 😞

#kh

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darkbluekies · 1 year

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Silas asks #5

Previous one next one

Concept: I've put multiple asks into one post to avoid too much loose posts on my account! This way, you have more to read too<3

Warnings: mafia, yandere, isolation ... the normal stuff

In Intruder, would Silas still have been able to find the reader if she didn't look to see what was on the USB? (Perhaps she didn't know she had a foreign USB in her purse in the first place) You mentioned Silas could see her on the webcam, but I assumed that was because she used the USB on the computer. Also, if she didn't see the USB would Silas have taken it back without question or would he have still kidnapped the reader? Sorry for all the questions, I'm just curious hehe 😅

Hm, interesting question. I think that Silas would be able to find the USB one way or another, either through a tracker on it or hacking into surveillance cameras to follow her. He would most likely not be too interested in getting her, but would think of her when he leaves ... which means that he'll be back for her.

There's this meme on tiktok that goes "my blickyyyyyy upon the dresseeeerrrrr" it remind me so much of Silas who definitely is the type of dude with a gun in his dresser 🔫 🔫

I haven't seen that meme, but Silas would 100% keep a gun in his dresser! For uh "safety reasons". Not to keep you in the room no no

Do you think the reader would ever develop Stockholm syndrome with Silas?

I actually think so. He treats you well when you're obedient so if you don't try to escape and actually listen to what he says, he will be the most wonderful man you can ever get your hands on. And that's dangerous for your mental health because anyone would fall for that.

With that Broken reader x Silas fanfic Does the reader have a caretaker that had been helping them?

[fanfic?]

Oneshot it's basef off of (i think)

No, Silas doesn't want anyone to be close to you, escpecially not after what you've been trough. He's scared that you'll fall for someone else in your fragile state. He needs you to be reliant on him only. You're vulnerable, perfect for him to mold how he wants you to be.

LOVING SILAS SM MWAH MWAH MWAH LEMME KITH YOU omg but like.. 😳 what if he grows to lowkey miss gen z reader's remarks and jokes in the long run😶. like ok yeah big man got what he wanted😮‍💨🫥 but now reader doesnt laugh or smile anymore cause theyre lowkey highkey traumatized😁💧 ykwim????

[omg thank you for the kith hehe]

Then he'll try to bring it back! Silas thinks that you're a toy that he can break and bend to be how he wants you to be. Somehow you'll be back to normal, he just needs to figure out how. He'll regret breaking you down so badly and will do his best to crack your numb shell.

"I like it when you smile. Come on, baby, curse at me. You know you like that. Tell a joke, I'll laugh, I promise. No, you won't get punished, little thing."

The Valentine's day ask for Silas got me thinking, what if his s/of wanted to get job? (cause I can't just do nothing all day) And since I'm sure he wouldn't let us go somewhere, what if we asked for him to hire us? (Cause if he wouldn't we can start looking for a online job or a job where we could leave and come back without getting caught) We can basically do some clean up or just paperwork 🤔. Also sorry if my English is bad

He'd hate the thought of you working because he thinks that you should be doing things you liked, but if you really had to, he'd keep you in his office, right by his side, where you can go through some papers. Of course not the ones that could make you scared. If there are no papers for you to go through, he'll print fake ones, just so you'll have something to do. As long as he'd keep you occupied, you'd not complain about being bored or wanting to leave.

"Ah, how about a break? We should take a nap on the couch. We've been working so well, don't you think, little thing? Come here, baby, let me hold you."

Silas be like "I'm gonna torture you badly" I be like "I like that"🥴Chain me up in the basement for punishment? "oooh kinky"Psychological torture? "Hey how'd you know I like mind games?"Threaten friends and family? *Looks around sarcastically "where are they? I don't see them!" 🙃In conclusion, I identify as a chaotic neutral that cannot be contained. Go ahead, do your worst! It'll be fun~ >:3

You'd be Silas's nightmare.

Ok that was weird how would Silas react to a mc who was in awe about how rich he was and shocked when they arrive at his mansion?

[what was weird ...?]

He'd be shocked. He's been in defense mode to give you a fright, to scare you into obedience ... but you're not scared?

"If I live here? Uh yeah, i do ... what about it? You like it? Yeah, I guess it's nice. Do you really like it that much?"

Hello 👁🫦👁. I love all your stories and I'm trying to figure out how best to behave with Silas so that he doesn't lock me in the basement, but also doesn't break my mind or bones😭p.s. i love the yandere characters but even chatting with AI yanderes gives me bad endings

As long as you do as he says, (you stay in your room, doesn't complain too much, doesn't nag and demand him to be let out) he'll be pleased with you. He'll take you out for dinner and dates and be more patient with you. The more you demand of him, the less likely you'll get it and the quicker you'll end up in the basement. He wants to be treated as a human being, depsite all the bad things he's done to you :)

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere drabbles #yandere x you #yandere imagines #yandere fics #yandere mafia #yandere stories #yandere talks #yandere oc x you #yandere headcanon #yandere reactions #yandere asks #yandere ocs x reader #yandere ocs #yandere oc x reader #yandere oc #silas oc

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churchofpossum · 5 months

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I don't see my Patreon becoming knights only, I still draw Geraskier and other ships. But I had three years of Geraskier hyperfixation and with the way the show and the fandom went it's just nice to have my own thing. People have been incredibly supportive of my OCs and I love that it is just... mine. I can tell their story how I see fit and don't get whiplash by some weird canon decisions. People don't come after me bcs the one they like bottoms or the one they like is too buff or not big enough or mistag the art with the wrong characters. There is no discourse in my fandom, it's just me and my tincans having a grand time. I love Geraskier, it's the ship that got me where I am now, artwise. They were the reason why I started drawing every day and why I started posting smut online. So I don't see them going away. But I won't stop drawing other things. It makes the times that I do come back to the Witcher more special to me.

I know not everybody is a fan of everything I do, that's completely normal. And I do try to be transparent with my stuff, especially on Patreon. I had more camboy AU planned for this year but I had my whole life uprooted so plans sadly changed. I do still hope to do the rest of the comics I had planned for it (two sfw and two nsfw ones) but I can't promise when that will be. Although I had planned to overhaul my Patreon which might help me with planning things out more. But yeah, when that happens supporter will know first.

This reply has gotten way too rambly, I'm sorry XD I always feel like I need to defend myself for some reason. I would’ve loved to reply to this privately but I guess instead I’ll just put it on my main blog. The ask a knight blog is here for me to give people an easy way to learn something about my OCs.

#ramble #possum replies

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incarnateirony · 1 year

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Ok, I have to ask, cuz I am seeing many different takes. First of all, I loved last night's episode of TW. It got 471K views, but 0 demo? Last week it had fewer views but higher demo, so is that accurate? I am still with you that I think this show can still move forward to S2, but do you think with CW or HBOMax? At JIB, all of the actors said that they simply don't know, but they hope for TW, Walker, Windy and GK? None of J2M sounded super confident at all. Some stupid online site wrote a crap story saying that Ruth was a desperate but failed attempt at saving TW. BS I say. The K coven are back to talking smack too, but no one takes their drama seriously anymore. What is your take on all four of those shows, and Kung Fu too? Run on question, but we also haven't heard about Big Sky? If you added the 3+ and 7+ up for Big Sky, it has 4.8M viewers per week and a .4 demo? Is it possible that that will renew? And will Dean be in E13 of TW? Sorry for so many questions.

[picks up a few base assumptions in this post and moves it to the trash]

The reason sites are reporting like this is the same reason I tell people to be patient every week. Some sites are reporting just the Live audience, others are reporting Live+SD as appropros, the initial demo is not only prelims likely to adjust with the SD but are rounding down, as happens in prelims, because... they get rounded, and when the Live minus SD comes in at 0.05, which is also about normal, then if it lands on the wrong side of the dot it rounds down.

It's literally preliminary reporting that triggered the ask and all following apprehension, so I need you to understand first, I am addressing your anxiety as anxiety, not as something that actually needs concerned about.

It's fine.

We're already fine.

my last ask I literally talked about the importance of the digitals via the app as well as CW's active DVR campaign and all of it. The Numbers You Are Worrying About Literally Do Not Matter The Way Fandom Has Monkey Trained You Into Reflex Worrying About Them Vaguely. I Fucking. Promise.

Kung Fu, Big Sky I consider done, but I could be surprised. KF I'm pretty sure is buried, I just am not confident in Big Sky's position. Especially with 10P ABC closing by 2024, they're resisting it this year.

Big Sky we can say "we add all the numbers and then number big", but then you have to give that in context to the other shows on the network, and figure out what that network's expectations are. Because if we add all the number shows on the other ABC shows, then number much bigger. See how that balances out when you aren't trying to forage out the answer you're hoping for? Reality sucks but we gotta face it. I've told everyone that for years and the episode last night, much like I have told everyone, is that it is literally the plot.

TPTB are begging people to start applying context and stop applying projection and trauma reaction. It is literally the metanarrative but the fandom still isn't doing the hard work to actually look at themselves and figure out how they've been doing that as a collective, because man that sucks, and then how do you act big and confident online and stuff

Who cares what K says. Literally who cares. If you're looking, it better be to fucking laugh at the wonkadoodle shit that comes out of there. They do not matter. You are, weirdly, for some bizarre reason, obsessed with the same dozen idiots idioting the way they've idioted for the last however many years. It's very clear who's won, what's happening, and what the take overhead is on whom, so why bother? You're basically going "well if I check the Original Star Trek Incel Boys page, THEY have opinions and say bad things are happening." Who the fuck cares. They're idiots. Stop caring what long proven idiots say and pretending it has weight in the conversation. It never has and never will and that's why we have ended up where we are.

When you remove reacting to Proven Idiots like that, you don't care about their takes. You know the base reality of how the system works, what the marketing is, and what pieces are constructed in what angle and fashion, rather than it all being arguable in the randomness of the internet.

First, wait for finals. Then, realize nobody gives a shit about flat finals in 2023, and wait for digitals in app and +3 results. Then, realize we're taking a steamroller to everything around us, and then it really gets silly to realize you're worrywart asking this on prelims I warn about every week because some weirdo that faps to child incest porn has an opinion on twitter.

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juliedrawz · 9 months

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Hola !

Checking back in because ... I've seen my little group of follower legends has grown while I was gone and ... THANK YOU!

I didn't expect my account to grow while I'm practically gone for a while.

Well, fall is slowly but surely coming closer AND, I've been working! 😏 Currently I'm back at the "Guitar project" and while THAT is continuing to cost me a lot of sweat, tears and nerves, I was also spending a lot of time doing stuff concearning this dude.

The dude I grew unexpectedly and immensly fond of ever since I studied him to pieces and wrote down his whole backstory/life in my novel and I'll protect him fiercely 👁 👄 👁 Any haters will face the wrath of Imelda's boot, which I will borrow!

And also

The gem of a man

And yes, there have been MAAANY things going on while I was gone. I talked a LOT with my besties and as I was continuing to write my novel. I came to the conclution, that I will not post any more drafts online at all anymore. I'm sorry, I know many love the story but the thing is this; I first started with a plain fanfic. That was the plan. I posted the first drafts and over time suddenly found myself going back to professional writing and woops, all of the sudden I was writing a novel. Something that became immensly important to me. It became a serious commitment, not just a itty bitty story. A real book that'll end up having around 700 to 800 pages give or take. Making the decisson to not post any drafts anymore saves me and you guys from disappointments. It's not a question if you'll get to read to book one day, because you will. However, the whole book won't be out for free. I know that some might not be happy about having to buy my book but guys ... don't you also go into a book store and buy a book you like? Writing a whole novel is different than writing a fanfic. It cost a lot of time! And if you put that much time and effort into something, it's absolutely right and ok to eventually charge something for it. Not because artists are money hungry. It's a form of support.

On the good side, those who will want the book, will get it. It won't be too expensive, promise! Not much more than a normal book you buy. 😊 📖

I hope you understand. You can also always keep asking me questions if you cannot wait to read the thing. I will also keep posting some scenes from my book as some little encouragements and quotes.

As for my art, I've been working on quite a handfull, so you'll not just get 1 thing after such a long time!

Also, I will open up Commissions soon. The price list and the rules come with it.

Other than that, I also have 3 more Coco projects coming in the future. And for now, they'll stay a secret. 🧵🪡

#update I guess

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momentsofamber · 3 months

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Hey uuuuh did you know... Ur big swaggy and hella stronger than ur demons? 😉👍 You've overcome them in the past to make it to today, you'll overcome today's with the lessons from the past, and the future doesn't know what it has coming to it 📣👏😁

Anon, this was so nice to wake up to. 😭 Thank you so much!!

I'm so sorry it took me all day to respond to this and I'm about to ramble so feel free to skim this, I'm gonna dump it under a read more. ( Do people even still use these in 2024? askdjhf )

I never directly attacked anyone in my time while pretending to be an anti. I was just completely silent on the matter, letting my morality complex and p.edophobia ocd wage war on my well-being.

It's ironic, I've been on this site since about 2010; and in 2012 when I started to be at my first most active point on tumblr and had a friend group on here, I would blog about Wincest (SPN) on main and no one said anything or thought anything of it, they just kept scrolling. That was the norm. People just SHIPPED whatever they wanted.

Flash ahead to like 2018 and suddenly everywhere I go there are now neon eyesore banners on posts, including fucking stimboards and whatnot with 'p.roship d.ni' and 'a.nti-a,ntis d.ni' ( I'm censoring that just so this post isn't blacklisted from proshippers because that is NOT my stance ) and I was like 'I don't even know what these terms MEAN?? where did these come from??' but I was too afraid to ask anyone so I just. Stayed silent and promised myself I'd only reblog "safe" content and that I was "happy" I'd "become a better person since then". ( spoiler: I was lying to myself. )

And over the years any time I made new friends who had never seen that content on my blog back then, I'd just say I didn't support Problematic Content(tm) and I'd only talk about and rp and reblog ships that were "normal", because I was now so afraid people would reject me at any time because it seemed like the anti crowd was so large and violent and nasty -- my mental health at that time would not have been able to handle that hatred.

-- in fact I had this SAME experience in the plural community with the a.nti-e.ndos for identifying as a median system. ( we know now that we are a bpdgenic osdd-1b system, but we still prefer most median terminology to describe ourselves. ) But the traumagenic DID systems who were pro-endo were so much more welcome to interacting with us than the exclusionists. And it's the same bullshit different flavor happening here with the proshippers.

How much overlap is there between a.nti-e.ndo and a.nti-p.roship rhetoric, I wonder? It's wild. I wish I had learned how to undo my black and white thinking so much sooner and listen to new points of view instead of just shying away from the unknown in fear.

But this is a new year, and this is a new me. This blog is going to be a source of love and positivity and learning about other people's experiences. Any discourse or negativity ( even the validating kind ) will remain on my sideblog. I don't have to like or even agree with everything I see online, but I am going to support people's right to say it, do it, make content of it, as long as all parties involved are consenting. ( Fictional characters, animated or live action, do not have the autonomy to consent or not consent so people can do anything they want with fiction that makes them feel happy and fulfilled, full stop. Yes, this includes RPF and selfshipping. As long as you keep your content in your safe space and no actors/musicians/etc involved in the creation of that character you're using are able to see it - I will support your right to make or consume any content as you see fit. )

#proship #proship safe #proshippers please interact #ambers.ask #ambers.txt

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shatar-aethelwynn · 2 years

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I don't know what's wrong with me. When I look at others posts from people i like about how they hate things i kinda like. It mostly sends me in a quick depression. I'm into comics and man it kinda not fun interacting with some people. There was this meme about how mcu fans like it to be a safe space while comics fandom just want authors to kill themselves. And how one wanted to draw a author I think with gore. It's not really a fun place sometimes.

Doesn't sound like there's anything wrong with you. Sounds like there's something wrong with them. People online are good at being dicks because there's little real-world consequences for it. The ones that aren't intentionally being dicks are often using hyperbole (saying "hate" because it has more oomph to it than "dislike" even if they don't mean they have hostile feelings towards it), which is easy to miss if you don't know a person very well but we all use it all the time. And some people later realize they were being a dick and try to become better people. Sometimes the only way to tell the difference is through time and patience. I generally try to be gracious and assume people don't actually mean the worst until they clarify that yes, actually, they do.

So here's an example: I hate SpongeBob. I'm sorry, but it's true. Can't stand the show. That doesn't mean I think no one should ever watch it, or that someone can't enjoy it. It just means that no matter how often people insist that "this episode is funny though" I will not enjoy it (although I will freely admit to occassionally finding posts which make use of the characters funny). There's no moral judgement there, it's purely a matter of personal preference. Do I really mean "hate" in the way a pastor says "hate sin?" (And oh how much there is to unpack there.) Am I making a moral judgement about SpongeBob? No. I mean "strong dislike." Thing is, the internet loves to be reactionary. So lets say I make a post that says "Dear lord, I hate SpongeBob. It's just so stupid and I don't understand why anyone enjoys it and wish people would stop telling me I should watch it." No real moral judgement there, just "it's stupid and I don't like it, stop telling me I should" which is a valid opinion on any piece of media. Well, someone could show up in my inbox saying "How dare you say SpongeBob is evil! How dare you say no one should watch it!" Which, at no point has that actually been said, and it isn't true anyway. Can you see where I'm trying to go with this? Some fandoms (and comic book bros are famous for this) simply have a tendency to take that a step further and get into Gatekeeping territory and to react violently against anyone who violates their personal headcanon. Every fandom is capable of this. Those people are toxic and should be avoided.

Now here's the thing though, if the people you're talk about are saying "I hate this thing so everyone who likes it deserves to suffer and die" that's at best purity culture and it is corrosive and dangerous, and you should probably pull back from interacting with that person. It is a deeply unhealthy mindset to have, and it is even more unhealthy to continually subject yourself to people who say things like that. (Of course, on this site there are also people who will affectionately respond to trolls and comments deliberately intended to annoy with threats like "I will come to your house and make you eat toilet paper," and no one who follows them believes they mean it.) I promise there are others who like the things you like without being so toxic. I know there are things you like that I don't, and I've said before that my opinions do not need to change your enjoyment of those things. Differences in what we enjoy is normal. That's living in a society while being an individual. That doesn't mean you need to stop enjoying something just because someone else doesn't like it. If they give you a reason why they dislike it (or are neutral with no intention of continuing to interact with a source/show/etc) that convinces you that they are right and you decide to stop watching/reading something because it's toxic or misleading or it changes how you interact with it that's one thing. Feeling like you have to only like things that your friends like and dislike everything they dislike is something else and it's getting into cultish territory. A friend who tries to force you to do so is not your friend, they want to control you or are themselves being controlled by another who is telling them they have to have those opinions or else, and that's not a healthy relationship to be in.

#I'm answering this publically because I think this is something a lot of people struggle with #and not everyone is brave enough to say so

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the-witch-of-one-piece · 2 years

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YOU'RE BACK, I'M SORRY MY SELFISH COOKIE ASS IS TOO WORRYING SINCE YOU'RE NOT ONLINE FOR 2 DAYS AND I WAS WORRIED.

Please, PLEASE, DO WHAT YOU LOVE, WRITE WHAT YOU NEED, I AM HERE WITH YOU ALL THE TIME. EAT, DRINK, SLEEP HEALTHY, ME LOVEY YOU TOO MUCH

-sincerely, a bawling cookie anon

cookie anon! Your not selfish! Sorry I made you worry hun! I know its not normal of me to not post anything. I will be a bit more active I promise! Yes kinda wanted to do this AU for sometime and it is really coming together! Aww thank you 😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺 I want you to do the same as well cookie anon!!! Make sure you are taking care of yourself!!! *hugs tightly* I really appreciate how wonderful you are all the time! Thank you deeply for the bottom of my heart 💜Want to show you! Some of my clients lashes I’ve done! Feeling very proud how they look! 🥰🥰🥰

#cookie anon!#the witch of one piece #valval speaks #lash clients #so pretty!#eyecantation lashes

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theamberwizard · 2 years

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Harmful is also ignoring where Billy's racism comes from and condemning a young teen who never had the chance to change. I hope it's ok if I remain anonymous, I grew up in a racist household and community in a small town in Europe.

Imagine I'm your parent and I spend your whole childhood frequently talking about how I hate Camry drivers. They are slow as fuck and seem to always be in the wrong lane or turn the wrong way before they go where they intended. As you grow up, you'll see a few normal Camry drivers but you'll usually not care to notice or you'll quickly forget, but the ones that are shitty will really stand out. Your brain will get all excited "see, Dad was right. Stupid Camry drivers holding us back as a society. Fuck em."

You have to be willing to unlearn it and change yourself, and admit you were wrong in the past. Not easy for everyone. It took years and years for me to even realize my opinions were racist to begin with. I started thinking with my own head. Mind you, I'm almost 30 years old.

Not your case, but seeing how quick antis are to wish death upon a teen boy who had a racist dad, to condemn him, giving him zero chances, is also harmful and very mean behavior. It hurts my feelings as well, who was in a similar situation. So obviously I wished for better writing for Billy, a better redemption. He could have changed just like I and many others have. Abuse circles are difficult to portray, I get it. But now we just have a bunch of hateful people harassing eachother over a fictional character throwing all fans in on pot.

I hope you understand.

okay first: it is always okay to remain anonymous. that's your prerogative, i respect it, and there is zero judgement from me over here.

next: your experience is valid. this does happen to a lot of people, and it's not your fault nor is it billy's fault that y'all were raised in racist households. however, it is billy's fault that he isn't making an effort to change. i understand that it's ridiculously difficult to figure this out, especially in an environment like that, but it's unfair to disregard his racism because he was raised that way. the white teenage boy in my school that called someone else the n word online was raised that way: but he still shouldn't have said that. you can't ignore the harm he caused because he too was caused harm by being given those beliefs. there are many people who are raised that way and reject it- it doesn't matter when they realize that they're wrong, or at what age they reverse their beliefs: it's the end result that matters. however, billy is never shown to go back on his beliefs about lucas.

is it horrible that billy never got a chance to say sorry? that he never got another opportunity to become a better person? yes! 100%! but that still means he never changed. for all we know, billy never felt sorry.

if billy ever gets a redemption/revival in which he realizes his actions were wrong and apologizes, and maybe even gets forgiveness from lucas, then i can and will forgive him as a character as well. until that day, i'll still stand by my original opinion about him.

i do not blame people who had the misfortune of growing up in such a bad environment. but if they stay in their ways, and never change, there is no alternative but to say they are the issue.

lastly, anon: i do not judge you for your feelings on the topic. i understand as much as i can with my experiences. using billy to say that people who grew up in that situation are to blame is harmful, and you are entirely correct in your first line, it's important to remember that billy was another victim of the cycle of abuse.

i very much appreciate your politeness (ik i haven't been polite in the past- my posts abt billy come off as aggressive bc i'm very passionate about the topic, but i promise i do my best to be polite in discourse) and your perspective on the matter

thank you for the ask.

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michael-aftons-nonbinary-lover · 2 years

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FNaF Rant #3

-(⚠️TW⚠️@b4$3)-

Sorry not sorry, I fucking hate it when people who haven't been abused, specifically physically, make William a horribly abusive asshole to his kids. The Afton kids show signs of mental/emotional abuse, yes. That's canon, and I won't argue with that. But none of them show any signs of physical abuse throughout the whole fucking series. And don't bring up the goddamn books, I'm so sick of people pulling those books out of their asses for that ONE SPECIFIC THING, only to bury the books for every other piece of lore they've given us. Because the other pieces of lore "aren't convincing", or whatever. Literally stfu, pls. So many of these posts don't have warnings for abuse either, or the warnings come after the abuse/mentions of abuse have already been shown. So many people could be highly triggered by that and other people don't care because their dumbass headcanons come before survivors' experiences.

And I already know someone is gonna try to bring up the books or something so,

1. where in hell were Michael and Crying Child? Did William just not have sons? Is Elizabeth his only bio kid? Even though Michael is a near carbon copy of him? Did he just pick them up off the streets or something?

2. The books have fucking canon mpreg, please do not use these as an argument as to why your headcanons come above someone's personal trauma, you will look like the dumbest person in the room, I promise you

3. The books show us what was(most likely) in the FNaF 4 box, robots can bleed, remnant has the consistency of molten metal, and how illusion disks work, and the only thing you wanna talk about is the book's version of William hitting his kid? Really? There's so much more interesting stuff there, and you continue to bring up something that can be extremely triggering for so many people?

This is also not aimed at people who have been physically abused. Idc how survivors of physical abuse choose to headcanon William, because I know that if a specific character reminds you of your abuser, that will probably never leave your brain. Also, sometimes people just need to vent, and a specific character is good for that. This is aimed at people who haven't been physically abused and continue to decide that they need William to be even worse than he already is in canon.

Another thing I wanna point out. If Michael were even close to half of the "edgy teenager who doesn't give a fuck about anything and hates his dad" as so many people make him out to be, he would have left Hurricane the moment he turned 18, or shortly thereafter, and never gone back. Ever. For anything. Dead children be damned, nothing would have dragged him back there. He had nothing left. No siblings, no mom, probably no friends after the bite. Nothing could have convinced him to go back to Hurricane and do what he did throughout the series. Henry would have had to act by himself. Someone else would have gotten scooped. Michael would have turned to therapy, dr4g$, or religion. Michael's story would have been cut down to FNaF 4, and maybe some cutscenes of his life once he hit adulthood. He also would have had a shit ton of panic attacks, flashbacks, self-doubt, self-blame, and told himself at least once that nothing bad happened/what happened was normal and wasn't bad, and we see none of that throughout the entire series.

Seriously, why do so many people hear the word 'abuse' once in a series and run it into the ground? You guys are honestly draining at this point, and it's getting old. Half of the descriptions of abuse aren't even fucking accurate, and that's how you know that they're putting headcanons above trauma. Just stfu, please.

(another note before I leave, this one is purely a rant/vent thingy, so I really don't wanna fight anyone about this. Plus, William is a fictional character, this shit isn't worth fighting over with people online anyways)

#michael afton #fnaf fandom #william afton #dave miller #mike schmidt #fnaf 3 #elizabeth afton #crying child fnaf #fnaf novels #wanl rants

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stormblessed95 · 2 years

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Hey storm regarding that previous link I'm seeing it for 1st time

And now I'm thinking if jikook are even considering what they have as a relationship. Coz jimin told even if have some kind of relationship it's hard to call it a relationship. They don't have time to date other people according to jimin so these two are spending it together with each other however they want but not calling it a relationship.

It's either that or maybe like almost all saesangs say jimin might be someone who don't take the idea of having a relationship seriously. He might be just going on around some casual dates with multiple people when he meets them. He just have his fun with a person and that's it coz he don't have time for any serious relationship. So he can't call his idea of dating as ' relationship ' in traditional world. That also make sense.

Yes and I'm actually a zebra. I've tricked you all. It makes sense, I promise. 🙃

It also makes sense to believe what random people online make up about the members to get attention rather than what the members themselves say. Such as the fact that jimin and the members themselves have named jimin as one of the most shy members off stage, which can clearly be seen in interviews too. One who is most comfortable around people he knows. Sounds like a real playboy to me. Or how Jimin himself said that he wants a true partner in life and love and wants to be with that one person forever (paraphrasing) whenever he finds them way back in 2013 or 14. Yup that definitely sounds like someone who only wants to play around and not settle down.

Look, I don't mean to be rude. But this is too much. What is a traditional relationship in most of the world? A monogamous heterosexual out and free couple. The next would be an out monogamous queer couple. A closeted gay and secret relationship doesn't fit as a "traditional" relationship either to most of the world. Especially in places like South Korea. Along with considering that they can't really go out on Normal dates together without being careful about it either. I said what I said about how i took his statement in that magazine interview in my first post. I don't see how your interpretation fits jimin as a person or jikooks actions over the years or jungkook as a person either. They definitely do not have all their actions and words together scream "casual" 🙃

But honestly lol if that's how you want to take it and that's what you want to believe, thats fine. You do you. Is it possible they are just spending time together and being like best friends with benefits or whatever you are suggesting while also doing whatever with whoever else? Sure, anything is possible. I'm sure your post was ask was sent with pure intentions and just a maybe jimin only casually dates around because he doesn't have time otherwise. I can understand what you might have meant... I just don't agree or see it even a little bit. Sorry. At least, in my personal opinion. And while I might be able to give the benefit of the doubt that this was sent with only pure intentions, I hope you can also see how this comes close to the h0e/h0mewr3cker narrative his antis love to push even though it has no backing and how that irritated me to find in my ask box. Hope you have a wonderful rest of your day.

Anon in response to this post for reference.

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bryan360 · 3 years

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My YCCTEAM's Wireless Switch Pro Controller - Part 16/Final (Career Mode racing in Asphalt 9: Legends)

What's up guys? Welcome back to be at another YCCTEAM Controller topic review share, but guess what? This will be the final video post that I've been waiting for a long time or in case a year half and months since the beginning of revealing my controller back in 🎃October 3rd, 2020. Even though it needed takes time to make sure to correct in details such as doing comparison from my other controllers, testing its buttons, battery charging to battery life results, and pretty much else I've been gone through in months. However, there is one more topic review post that I'm bringing to an end as of my decision; especially when if I'll be doing other topic reviews to my new items soon.

For today's post though, I decided to merge two videos as originally gotten both recordings from last week I've been saving. It's something that I should've done from my past video postings while I'm in YCCTEAM Controller topic reviews, but nevertheless it was alright when I'm getting used to. Anyways, I'm back to try out my final testing as you expected while I'm at Asphalt 9: Legends again. This time I'll turn up the notch by doing real racing with other opponents in career mode and both of the control settings to use after from doing tutorial last month.

Here it is as I'm in track based on San Franciso; the same place I've already cleared its first challenge back in January 18th, 2020. Link Here

I also did the second challenge during part 3 of my Asphalt 9: Legend’s career progress to remember. Link Here #2

However for this topic review post to share, I wanted to go back its first challenge to race through like I did in last year, but showing off my YCCTEAM Controller again and using the same car of Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution; as I previously used on few challenges or just one during my career progress from last year. I'm giving some upgrades along the way, but hoping I can show it during my contining Asphalt 9: Legend's progress soon. Let's get into it as It'll be the final topic review post for my controller.

During two of my recording videos being merged, I'm using my controller to show as I'm racing through San Francisco track against other racers like I previously did in January 2020....two times to be exact when I used both different control settings from manual to gyro like last time when I'm showing off during tutorial mode last month.

It's gonna be different to see which settings I can used for my career mode in progress; despite being obvious it had to be manual settings with pressing buttons for acceleration, brake, and nitro boost. I'm just making this as I'll go along when using both settings once again. I'll even bring the results after crossing the finish line for the races end and how much did I do in time. If I can remember my first one back in Janaury 2020 was 00:43.366 or 43 minutes and 366 seconds while during its first challenge I gotten. Here's my last year's screenshot in high quality to get a better look.

Just wondering how it can compared to my other two racing results during this recording. Well I'll tell ya this is gonna be interesting and hoping to my closest friends to see as well.

On first half until 1:22, I'm doing my first racing through San Franciso track in title "City Dash" where I needed to reach the goal from other opponents they'll trying to catch on me. I did good while using my YCCTEAM Controller in manual setting with the steering analog stick and some tricks like jumping on ramps. However, I was bumping into things while I'm trying to press the left button for brake and drifts, but other times was performing the 360 move at opponents for no strange reason that I'm trying to get knockdowns. ^^* (at least I did have one knockdown on first half, though) Anyways while continuing my race, I made it to a finish line at the end from doing turns, jumping into ramps like two times, and some bumping into walls that I'm trying my best to dodge those. So my racing time results was unexpected since January 2020 is the very first one I've gotten while I'm in manual. Instead, my new racing time results change to 00:44.647 or 44 minutes and 647 seconds while I'm in manual settings a second time as before. I was so close that it should've been much lesser than that if I could make some room in obstacle or something. Nevertheless, it was of really was while doing my YCCTEAM Controller post to share, but at least it was a good first half.

As for the second half though, I'm switched up to gyro control when using my controller to move left and right. During another racing track through San Francisco, I've gotten into somewhat good start as well when using my controller to move my car and the buttons for acceleration, brake/drift, etc while reaching the racing goal again. That being said however as I'm still working on some "errors" while having to race against opponents. Mostly though was while perform my ramp jump, I've almost getting crash into the wall just before landing on the road by luck. It happens at 02:14 to 02:18, but man that it was still lucky or otherwise would've been ruin if I'll start all over again. I tried to steer to get away from and some others that I've keep bump into to get knockdowns at opponents. Nevertheless, it was not bad second half to make while moving my controller in gyro settings; just wanted to work on its sensitivity of adjust along the way. How's my racing time results during it though was really unexpected is 00:43.334 or 43 minutes and 334 seconds to compared on others. (January. 18th, 2020's and September. 8th, 2021's in two recordings merged) Let's just say in other words, the gyro setting I did during second half takes the top spot here by surprise. Maybe because I putting nitro boost for its speed just to catch up at opponents before reaching the finish line? Or simply put on fate to see how do well in gyro settings I've been practicing; like last time when you've see me during my past topic review post while I'm in tutorial mode. Either way, it was pretty not bad to know how I managed to get there during second half recording I gotten; after checking the racing time results changes to 43 minutes and 334 seconds.

My thoughts and a final conclusion for this topic

Just like from last month when using my YCCTEAM Controller for tutorial test, I did really well for this one when I'm in career mode racing through San Francisco. After doing two settings both manual and gyro motion was another review test to see how which would I prefer to use when I can continuing on my career mode in progress and another for hoping there's normal race mode to unlock. I had missteps along the way; including the one during second half where I was almost crashed into the building's wall until I safely landed. Nevertheless, they're both alright when I'm taking my time off to see what racing results I have in both. Unexpected for gyro motion controls having to recognized that it compared from what I did in Janaury 18th, 2020 when clearing its first challenge at 43 minutes and 366 seconds. However for manual settings like I did before that was so close to match; as it underperformed at 44 minutes and 647 seconds. Thought I could handing well like last time if needed, but guessing I've miss calculating a little. So that's means gyro motion setting won? Doesn't matter though as they're both good tests while using my YCCTEAM Controller to show; just like last month when I'm cleared through tutorial mode. However, I'll be closing this topic review to an end after long time of giving details, comparison to other of my controllers, batteries, and more I gone through so far.

🐰🖌Maxwell: Yeah. We've been waiting for after year and the half when he did his best of reviewing this alternative controller to work on his Nintendo Switch system. If I could remember, there are good ones to choose from other past posts; like when he did on Super Smash Bros match with Mario against Banjo & Kazooie.

🐰👊💥May: There's more than that, Maxwell. Like doing his button test it works alright; especially knowing fits well then previously use his Joy-Cons when it had the R button stop working and of course drifting. Hoping it won't effect his YCCTEAM Controller anytime soon.

🦊⚽️Sam: You said it. At least rest assured when it comes to making his topic review, the YCCTEAM Controller had a good run with its battery life, the design to make as a similar Switch Pro Controller, and impressive feedback or response when playing those games in manual or gyro motion setting in Asphalt 9: Legends for example.

Thanks, Sam. I think I can give this a positive thumbs up 👍🏼 for how I using my YCCTEAM Controller to my Nintendo Switch system. Except some minor cons like when turning the rumble features on to my controller that it keep on rumbling through Super Mario Odyessy's cutscenes.

🐰🖌Maxwell: Or another one when you trying to turn on your Nintendo Switch system with your pro controller's home button, but doesn't work it right unlike your used Joy-Cons for some reason.

Yeah, that too. I'm fine to turn on my Switch system manually anyways, but would like that if the developers ever updated my controller so it can be easy to press the home button to activate my system just as easily. Someday, but not today I guess. Anyways, hope you guys and my closest friends to check out my lastest YCCTEAM Controller topic review to share and to my final conclusion after giving my thoughts about from year and half ago. I'm hoping to take it rest and continuing on other stuff like I'm promised to bring my own Super Mario 3D All-Star progress to share for example. I had too much things to get through that I nearly forgotten. Sorry if it happens. 😔

There's one more thing, though. If you finded interests about getting the YCCTEAM Controller like I have, then maybe you can check out at other online stores such as Amazon.com. it cost $25.99 or $26.00 in price which it can affordable if you called that in different way. I even check through search to see its there and it was still available as I link to this one. Link Here

Not sure if it'll work on other countries, but I would like to see when my P-Pal managed to get those in other online stores he could find, but just saying. 😅

Previous Posts for my YCCTEAM’s Pro Controller Topic:

Wireless Switch Pro Controller for Nintendo Switch/Switch Lite (Part 1) - Link Here #1

My YCCTEAM’s Wireless Switch Pro Controller for Nintendo Switch/Switch Lite Unboxing (Part 2) - Link Here #2

My YCCTEAM’s Wireless Switch Pro Controller for Nintendo Switch/Switch Lite Comparison with my Xbox One (Part 3) - Link Here #3

My YCCTEAM’s Wireless Switch Pro Controller for Nintendo Switch/Switch Lite Comparison with my Nintendo Switch’s Joy-Cons (Part 4) - Link Here #4

Testing Buttons (Part 5) - Link Here #5

Rumble Feature Testing (Part 6) - Link Here #6

Battery Charging Test (Part 7) - Link Here #7

Playtime Battery Life Results (Part 8) - Link Here #8

Gyro and Motion Controls 1st Half (Part 9) - Link Here #9

Gyro and Motion Controls 2nd Half (Part 9.5) - Link Here #10

Playtime through Super Mario 3D All-Stars game in Super Mario 64 #1 - Link Here #11

Playtime through Super Mario 3D All-Stars game in Super Mario 64 #2 - Link Here #12

Playtime through Super Smash Bros Ultimate #1 - Link Here #13

Playtime through Super Smash Bros Ultimate #2 - Link Here #14

Tutorial through Asphalt 9: Legends #1 - Link Here #15 Tutorial through Asphalt 9: Legends #2 - Link Here #16

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everythingsinred · 3 years

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Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 16)

We've just seen a pretty stressful arc, and on the other end of this post is yet another stressful arc. Upcoming is little break from serious plotlines to focus more on relationship growth and introduce some concepts that may seem minor now but will be pretty important later (though that will especially be the case for Mikan's perspective).

I'm on something of a vacation right now so I don't have a lot of time to format and work on this. The editing might be somewhat limited so if there's more mistakes than usual (not that I ever make mistakes) then I'm very sorry.

Chapter Seventy-One

The next few chapters are a welcome respite from the stresses of two major arcs. We just had to deal with Natsume’s heavy backstory, Mikan’s near-death experience, and a lot of fighting. The next major arc is the Sport Fest, and that gets pretty heavy very early on. So having a short break like this is more than needed so that we can catch our breath and maybe foolishly hope that everything will stay “back to normal”.

We join Natsume, who is again looking wistfully at the little Christmas-wrapped bag. We still aren’t entirely sure what’s in it, reading for the first time, but we can surmise it has something to do with Mikan. But reading for the nth time, we know that it’s his alice stone, and he’s been keeping it with himself since at least New Year’s, but probably earlier as well.

Quick! Put that away, it's embarrassing!

He’s interrupted by Ruka, who is eager to spend time with his friend. They’re both able to laugh and joke with each other, which prompts Ruka to say that he knows Mikan helped Natsume get to the point where he can laugh freely.

It’s interesting, because, even though it should be, Natsume’s DA class life is not necessarily any easier. In fact, it’s harder. He’s going through more now than ever as a way to take all the punishment for the problems with the Hana Hime party. And yet somehow, despite all that, he’s still able to smile. He’s light-hearted. He’s at peace with his life, content simply to stand in the same vicinity as Mikan.

Natsume’s love for her is pure and innocent. All he wants is to keep her safe. Seeing her happy makes him happy. The fact that she considers him a friend is more than enough to keep him smiling. He is not morose that she probably doesn’t feel the same. In fact, in a lot of ways, he’d prefer she doesn’t, because he still can’t give much more than he already is.

So, yes, he can smile, despite his life not being much easier, all because Mikan is in it.

Ruka then points out another fact, that he knows Natsume stayed to protect Mikan.

Natsume confirms it. He says he’ll protect Mikan from anything that stands in her way, no matter what.

In the TokyoPop, he just says something like "no matter what" but here he just goes out and says it (sacrificing my own life...). Natsume's fate was obvious from the start. It was all leading to a specific outcome. It was always going to happen this way. He's just too eager...

This scene is a further example of how that scene from after the Christmas Ball has really changed their friendship. They are more open with each other. They have conversations. They laugh together. They communicate. There are still some topics Natsume won’t touch, but he can be open with Ruka about this.

Ruka says he wants to protect her too, because he also likes Mikan, and because he wants to keep Natsume smiling. After all, Ruka promised that if Natsume wasn’t smiling, he wouldn’t either, and now Natsume is smiling. That’s worth protecting, because it didn’t come easy.

There truly are no hard feelings between them about Mikan. They aren’t turning bitter, or arguing over her. There’s no resentment. They loved each other before they loved Mikan and ultimately they just want the other to be happy. And whoever Mikan chooses to love, if it even ends up being one of them, would be fine, because she’ll be happy too. Moreover, they both seem to be somewhat rooting for the other, and always have been, especially Natsume. He wants Ruka and Mikan to be happy, and because he’s aware that his life will be cut very short, he doesn’t think she will be happy if she chooses him, which would never happen, in his own mind. Why would anyone choose him over Ruka?

Ruka then reminisces on the day they both first met Mikan, where we get a full explanation of why Natsume tried to escape that day: not because of Misaki-sensei’s claims that Natsume was a repeat escapee, but because he was getting bullied and wanted a letter from his dad.

The story ends and they both notice Mikan crying, trying to find Hotaru. She finds Narumi instead, who makes a comment that he knew from the moment he first saw her that she’d save Natsume, and confirms that’s why he made her his partner. Now that Natsume is no longer such a troublemaker, and that he has done his job in helping him, there’s less of a weight on his shoulders. Of course, the wind is raging and she can’t hear him, but Natsume heard.

Who the fuck is Narumi calling a burden?

He’s angry because Narumi is right. He also finally knows who exactly pulled the strings to make them partners, and that he’s in love with her because of Naru’s meddling. So he jumps down from the tree and kicks him, causing Mikan, who was in his arms, to be flung far away.

That gives Natsume enough time to scold Naru for hugging Mikan in the first place, and also for having the audacity to say Natsume’s behavior was a weight on his shoulders. Essentially, stay out of my business, despite the fact that Narumi sticking his nose in Natsume’s business is exactly the reason Natsume is so happy right now.

But even when Natsume storms off and Mikan angrily follows him, and they’re both trailed by Ruka, Narumi can see the truth. He was spot on.

Chapter Seventy-Two

This chapter is a fountain of lore! There’s so much new information and the online scans have kept me ignorant to it for a long time! There’s a lot of text and info, so it might be daunting to have to translate it all and write it out, but the price of saving time is that fans who care will be at a disadvantage.

I wanted to share some of the information that I’d found lacking in the scans just in case anybody wanted to know: the more powerful a user is, the more control they have over a stone’s size, shape, and vividness of color. Thus, Tono, a powerful alice user, can make his alice stone look like an eggplant. You could imagine a powerful user making their stone heart-shaped, or more circular or ovular depending on what they like best. The color of the alice stone reflects the user’s personality and maybe even their alice, not necessarily their favorite color, which is how Ruka’s ends up being a cream/brownish color, and not blue like I’d imagined for years. Koko reads some color meanings from an aura textbook to help sort out what the colors in a stone might signify.

This is all brought on anyway by Mikan being followed by an aquamarine alice stone, which we can tell is probably Sakurano’s. Out of loyalty to Yuka, he has strong wishes of wanting to protect Mikan, hence the stone following her around and being aquamarine, which symbolizes feelings of compassion and care.

Natsume and Ruka are both confused about this stone--it’s neither of theirs, after all--but since Mikan has so many friends who care for her, even amongst the staff and upperclassmen, it honestly could have come from anybody.

Although everyone wants to see Natsume make an alice stone, seeing as he is the most powerful alice user in Class B, Narumi makes it clear that he’s already learned everything there is to know about making stones, and thus can do whatever he wants during the lesson, which is what Natsume had wanted. This is intriguing information, because Narumi says specifically, “There’s nothing more we can teach him,” which begs the question: how does Narumi know? Has Natsume shown the staff his alice stone? It’s unlikely he would’ve asked a teacher for help in creating one, since he doesn’t trust any of them as far as he can throw them. But maybe, in order to get out of doing the lesson, he showed a teacher his alice stone to prove that he doesn’t need to be taught anything.

Tono brings up one last tip before they all begin to make their first alice stones. For once, you’re not using your alice for your own use. Somebody else will be using your stone, so how you feel about the person will come out in the stone, whether it’s good or bad. Wanting to protect or harm somebody, whether you have concern or resentment towards them, it will all show up in the stone, so focusing on certain emotions is tantamount to getting the result you want. These feelings can also influence the color, like everything else.

Red is mentioned as being a color of passion and strong feelings, and although Natsume's alice stones are all red anyway, according to his personality, it's interesting that when he makes a stone just for Mikan, it comes out as such a vibrant red. He is very passionately in love with her and it shows in the color. He also only had to think of her to get such a huge stone, and although that's also due to the fact that he has such a powerful control over his alice, it's also impressive that just thinking of her yielded such results.

It is after this lecture that Mikan is finally made aware of the true meaning behind exchanging alice stones and the romantic significance it can carry. Anna and Nonoko explain that the romantic tradition is what inspires girls to give stones with their chocolates on Valentine’s Day, and that it can also connote a proposal of marriage.

Mikan freaks out now that she knows what she and Ruka essentially promised. Natsume can see that she’s freaking out, but because he saved himself this humiliation by rejecting Mikan’s stone, the only person he’d really be concerned for is Ruka, whose feelings he was initially protecting by not telling Mikan anything that night.

Before anything crazy can really happen, everyone starts the lesson and gets to work making their stones. Although Iinchou and Hotaru are more successful, making stones that can actually be seen and held without a microscope, the rest of Class B isn’t quite as skilled yet. They’re all exhausted from the effort, even if it only gave them pebbles as a result, and all somewhat embarrassed and depressed that they couldn’t make bigger stones.

So Tono suggests they play “Alice Stone in the Dark”, that is, that you find someone in the dark and when the lights come back on, you have to exchange stones. Class B only gets really into this idea at the concept of getting their hands on a useful alice to make the most of the possible combinations.

He has this expression for the whole scene. He's so cute when he's flustered.

Thus the game begins, and even Natsume participates, albeit reluctantly. He’s probably just trying to avoid other people and possibly being forced to exchange stones--because he’s not going to make one on the spot and he doesn’t want to give away the stone that rightfully belongs to Mikan.

It turns out luck is on his side, because someone grabs his hand and when the light comes back on, the person is Mikan! She smiles in relief that she was able to find him, and explains that she wanted to force her stone on him. She keeps blabbing on and he doesn’t say a single word the whole time, just standing there shocked because of all the people in the class, Mikan wanted to give her stone specifically to him.

He's never gonna lose that tiny pebble... this is one of the best things that's ever happened to him.

It’s tiny and practically unusable, but that doesn’t matter to him. This little pebble is enough for him. She wanted to give him her stone, because she cares about him, and that gesture is enough to finally spur Natsume into leaving her his alice stone by her bedroom window. It’s more or less anonymous, but he wants her to know that she is thoroughly loved too, even if she has no idea who loves her this much.

Chapter Seventy-Three

It’s Valentine’s Day, otherwise Hell on Earth for popular Alice Academy boys. The romantic and sweet ingredients for chocolates at a normal school are replaced with potions and chemicals and pranks. The more popular and beloved you are, the worse your experience on Valentine’s Day will be.

Mikan decides to give her chocolates to all her friends, but they make it clear to her that accepting chocolate from anyone less than your true love would be terribly risky and stupid, so even if she does give it to all her friends, they probably wouldn’t eat them.

Maybe I’m wrong, but Natsume, who’s looking through a Sanrio catalog, wouldn’t be all that bothered about being one of many to receive chocolate from her. She specifically selected him to receive her pathetic alice stone, after all, and he’s made peace with the fact that they can never be together.

He does get bothered later, however.

He’s hiding, because it’s Valentine’s Day and he’s incredibly popular. He has an overly passionate fan club and closet admirers from all over campus, so being out in the open is dangerous business. He stays in the vents for a while, and thus he witnesses Mikan giving Ruka some Valentine chocolate, asking him to be the first to accept them. They both escape the classroom, Mikan dropping a little baggy of chocolates as she goes.

Natsume drops down and decides that he will be the first to accept them, actually, and eats them. It’s not anything huge, and Mikan won’t even find out that he ate them until a year later, but for now, he’s just acting on his own. He can be selfish here because nobody else knows about it. It’s just a harmless little thing to make himself feel better, with absolutely no consequences. Besides, he finds the chocolate disgusting, so no harm no foul.

Natsume, she couldn't have asked you first, she didn't even know where you were!

The climax of the chapter happens when all the most popular boys in school: Tsubasa, Tono, Natsume, among others, are all running from a stampede of rabid and sadistic girls. They’re flinging chocolates willy-nilly, desperate to get a catch. One is heading right towards Mikan, so Natsume gets in the way, catching it just in time, right when a girl flings one into his mouth.

Natsume has just consumed a love potion chocolate, selflessly, for Mikan (this chapter is so silly), so of course he’s now infatuated with Tsubasa, who is terrified, because it’s embarrassing and because Natsume will be pissed when the potion wears off.

This is very romantic but very ridiculous. Natsume really does take protecting Mikan quite seriously.

More or less, since the love potion is like a pheromone extract, we can see how Natsume has changed in his reactions to such an alice. In the very first chapter, Natsume passed out entirely from the pheromones. Misaki explained that someone entirely inexperienced in romance would pass out immediately, but Natsume is no longer inexperienced, so there’s way more of an effect.

The chapter isn’t particularly important, especially compared to the alice stone one, but it’s a silly little break from the real drama.

Chapter Seventy-Four

The next two chapters are joint, forming the little “Elementary Graduation” arc. We find out that students are to remain at the academy until they are twenty years old, so Natsume wouldn’t have to just power through another seven years, but nine until he could truly be free, and that’s much harder to accomplish.

Anyway, Mikan has seen the senior graduation and is inspired to do something special for the elementary graduation. She doesn’t just want to sing a lame song, she wants to do a special performance! Thus begins the drama of Sumire bossing everyone around because she’s one of the only kids with any real musical talent in a class full of amateurs.

One such amateur proves to be Natsume, who confidently selects the sax to play. Everyone, so convinced that he is talented at everything, is shocked to see how horribly he plays his instrument. Class B gets more and more enraged with Sumire’s attitude, only in part because the only lackluster performer she won’t call out is Natsume, who plays the worst of all of them.

The class breaks in two, and Sumire decides that she will play solo with two other partners who are musically inclined, leaving everyone in the dust. They cheer up eventually, when Ruka leads the class in an impromptu playing session, where everyone prioritizes fun over sound. Even Natsume joins in with his sax, and he seems to be making progress.

It's not a mandatory project, but he wants to join in anyway. (At some point Ruka comments, "You've gotten quite attached to that sax, haven't you?" which is cute because it shows Natsume doesn't just want to fit in, he's also genuinely interested in that specific instrument. Anyway Natsume as a famous jazz performer--)

Natsume electing to join in is very interesting. He doesn’t have to do this, especially because he’s terrible at the sax. He’s choosing to have fun with everyone and learn something new, even if everyone can see how bad he is to start with. He’s finally allowing himself to make friends, not just with Mikan, but with the whole class. He’s in a different place than in the first few chapters. Sure, he still has a fan club and devoted followers, but instead of viewing them as vessels to pass the time at best and annoyances at worst, he now considers them his friends. He wants to spend time with them and have fun together. And, no it wouldn’t have happened without Mikan’s help, but Natsume had to accept the change. He helped go on a mission to save Iinchou and Hotaru, to help Class B, and ever since he’s been slowly getting more involved in class. His birthday in particular also highlighted that his classmates care genuinely about him, so it’s made him all the more willing to repay the favor.

Chapter Seventy-Five

Mikan wants the two rival factions to make up, specifically Sumire and Koko. Nothing she says is enough to inspire peace and she’s distraught that no progress is being made.

She sees Natsume and Ruka playing with fireworks for no reason. They can tell instantly that she’s still bothered about Permy’s falling out from the rest of the class. Last chapter, Ruka tried to help Mikan by cheering everyone up and starting a little music session. This chapter, Natsume gives her advice. He says all relationships have ups and downs, and Permy is just aggravating the situation because she’s a kid and doesn’t know better. They all care about each other; they just need time to figure it out. And besides, he says, it’s way more Mikan’s style to give them an excuse to make up rather than forcing them to communicate. This cheers Mikan up and she runs off to come up with an idea.

They haven't known each other for a full year even but he still knows her pretty well. How cute!

Ruka teases Natsume for watching her and being a stalker, and we can see that despite what Natsume said about all relationships going through fights every once in a while, Natsume and Ruka won’t be having a fight anytime soon, least of all over Mikan. They accept each other’s feelings and are just happy to be happy and crushing on a girl together.

And Natsume has been paying attention, clearly, because he always keeps his eye on Mikan. Of course, he does this to keep her safe, because she’s being used against him by the DA Class, but also because he loves her. He wants to know everything about her, and see her everyday, so naturally small things about her would click into place for him.

Later, when Mikan figures out how to make everyone make up, Natsume is one of the first people to step up and help Permy. He’s helping Mikan too, because what she wanted more than anything was for everyone to make up, and it will help give the rest of the class the courage to step up too. He loves her, so he’s willing to embarrass himself playing the sax to help her bring everyone together again.

Conclusion

Chapter Seventy-Six has almost no Natsume in it, and his few appearances are pretty unimportant. He doesn’t do or say anything, so I felt comfortable skipping it. Anyway, these little chapters showed just how much Natsume has changed since he met Mikan. He’s now involved with the class, willing to have fun and embarrass himself. He is much more like he was before the academy stole all his vivaciousness. Of course, he’ll never be that kid again. He’ll always be more mature and selfless than he should be, but at least he can smile and laugh with the others for now. In the next essay, we’ll see that happiness evaporate as the academy narrows in on Mikan.

I don't think I'll be able to post on Monday, sadly. I'll try to post next Friday instead to make up for it, and to keep up four-day-a-week posting. I don't want y'all to catch up to where I am quite yet, so I'm going to put in a lot of effort into writing as much as I can whenever I can over these next few weeks. Thanks for reading, beloveds.

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myheelsdontmatchmysweatpants · 3 years

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This is my first collab fic and I could not be more excited! I'm so thankful that I can be part of the group!

The AU for this month was Sex Work. The Masterlist for this collab can be found here. Please take some time to check out everyone's contributions! There are other fics and amazing art!

That being said here is my fic, big BIG shout out to @doinmybesthere for being an amazing beta reader and sweet angel bb. ily Emme!

Please please please read the warnings. They are there for a reason!

Warnings: consensual noncon, mentions of being burnt, stabbing and blood; no prep penetration, disrespectful use of the word "whore", blackmail, psychological abuse?, Mineta (nuff said) he gets what's comin to him

You’re in the doctor’s office getting a regular checkup when you overhear the nurses in the station next to you talking.

“Look! They posted the new hero rankings today.”

“I forgot those were today, too bad they can’t have the conference during the pandemic. I miss seeing Deku all cute and blushing.”

“FUCK” In your brief moment of panic you forgot where you were. You cringe and look at the nurses, trying your best not to look like you were gonna be sick. “Sorry ladies, didn’t mean to yell.” No point in offering an explanation. You wouldn’t be able to tell them anything anyway.

As you very impatiently wait for your blood results to come back you check the tacky red cell phone you have to keep with you at all times. You had put it on silent since you were in the doctor’s office and you were glad you did. Taking a quick look at your screen had your stomach dropping into your ass.

M.M: Gonna move my appointment up to today.

M.M: You better get ready. I’m not happy.

M.M: I’m sure you saw the postings. Number 36.

M.M: I made sure to pay for any accidents in advance.

M.M: I’ll see you tonight.

Why does he have to be so fucking horrible? Accidents my ass.

The messages make your skin crawl, you should have figured the hero rankings would piss him off but honestly you never paid enough attention. With a heavy sigh you opened up your web browser and pull up the list.

“Number 36...number 36…. Number 36…” When you finally reached the hero you were looking for, you let out a sigh.

Hero Ranking Number 36: The Rainy Season Hero Froppy

Well at least you had her outfit already, for some reason she was one your client asked for a lot. Not that you wanted to ask him why, not with the way his black eyes looked whenever he saw you dressed up like her.

I don’t know if I should feel glad that he isn’t actually taking this out on her. Or upset that I’ve had to deal with this for months.

“L/N, Y/N?” The doctor walks up holding their clipboard and closing the privacy screen. Your file almost too much for the metal clip at the top. “Your test results came back negative and your burns seem to have healed very well. I would tell you that any strenuous activity should be avoided but we both know you can’t do that.”

Their poor attempt at humor had your stomach rolling. “Haha anyways Doc, I think I’m gonna need another medkit to take home today. I can schedule my next appointment online, right?”

You can’t handle the thinly veiled pity in their eyes and look down, reaching over to your side to grab your purse. You hear them moving around and a dark blue plastic box is put on your lap.

“If I remember correctly this is your favorite color, right? You are able schedule an appointment online but if you would like I can schedule it for you. How about in two days? Afternoon work for you?”

You look up after clutching the kit to your chest, you know they are just trying to be nice. All of the nurses are especially nice to you and as endearing as it might be to some people, to you it just feels dirty.

“Afternoon is perfect, thanks Doc.” You get up and walk towards the privacy screen. Before leaving you stop for a moment “Blue ismy favorite color.”

As you make your way back to your living quarters you scroll through the internet looking at every picture of the Pro-Hero Froppy you can find. Your quirk can project a person’s desires onto your body by reading them in their eyes. It’s easier when the person has a clear view of what or who they want. However, your client’s desires are such a jumbled mess that it’s easier if you know what it is beforehand.

Hopefully, I can act like her enough that I don’t have to look at his desires this time. I can’t stand how disgusting they make me feel.

You pass by a few familiar faces on your way back to your rooms but don’t pay them any mind. They in turn leave you alone, most of them knowing that when you have that look on your face you were in a mood.When you first were offered a position at the brothel you thought it would be easy money. You had been stripping for several years, known for how you looked different to everyone who saw your dancing. The beautiful, enchanting, flexible Erised. You had built up your quirks ability to be able to project almost a full clubs worth of desires. Sure, it caused extreme fatigue and chronic migraines but the money you raked in was well worth it.

A few months ago

After an especially successful night a patron walks up to you after you leave the stage.

“I have a job opportunity for you, courtesy of my employer.” He hands you a card you read “Heroes Consulting Agency” in bold silver letters.

“I’m a stripper hun, not sure I can do the type of consulting you’re looking for.” You go to hand it back, but they put their hand up.

“I’m afraid I must insist, why don’t we treat you to lunch and you can listen to our proposal?”

You put your hand back down and study them. They are dressed in a white button up with a vest, definitely out of place in a strip club. You would look in their eyes, but they didn’t really have any, their whole body seemed to be made of dark smoke. You don’t work in the nicest of places so someone with their kind of full body quirk isn’t unusual.

“Alright, I give. I’m not really one to pass up free food.” The rational side of your brain is telling you that you have more than enough money to buy your own food but the stingy part telling you to take it while you can is a little louder.

“Excellent choice Miss Erised. Someone will meet you at the address on that card tomorrow at around 5pm? Should give you enough time to recover from the side effects of your quirk.” They give a slight bow and walk off towards the exit, a large something getting up from a seat and following closely behind.

Sam, one of the waitresses walks up to you with a tray filled with drinks. Her normally short stature elevated with high heeled leather boots. “Did you know that person Y/N?”

Oh man, I do not have the energy for this.

You turn to her and survey the tray before grabbing something that looked like a fruity cocktail. “No, but they offered me a job. Gonna go have lunch with them tomorrow.” Sipping from the glass you tuck the card into your bra, making sure to not show it to the girl.

“That’s weird, don’t they know you’re a stripper? What is someone dressed that nicely want to hire you for? Also did that person look familiar to you or is that just me?” Any normal person wouldn’t be able to keep up with her unending questions, but you had known her for years. The tray in her hands tips dangerously to the left but she balances it out without a second thought.

Guess she does have to be quick on her toes to be a waitress at a strip club.

“They were here for my dance so yes they do know, either way I’m getting free food so…”

She huffs, aware of your attitude for anything “free”.

You finish the drink and place the empty glass back taking a couple bills from your bag and tucking them into her apron.

“Thanks for the drink Sam, but I gotta leave before my headache hits.” You walk off before she can say anything further. You really wanna be nice to her but her endless energy really gets on your nerves sometimes.

By the time you make it to your modest apartment, you can feel the pain starting behind your eyes. You drop your stuff by the door without turning on any lights and walk to the box safe hidden in the kitchen. After you make sure all the money is secure you grab a glass of water and head to the bedroom. The bottle of pain killers already set out on your nightstand. You should really take a shower but for now, you strip down, take a few pills, drink the whole glass of water, and lay down. It takes a while for the pills to kick in but once they do you finally fall asleep.

When you finally wake up the next morning your headache is gone, and you have to piss like no one’s business. You grumble as you stretch your tight sore muscles and get up to go to the bathroom. After taking care of business, you get into some light clothes and walk into the kitchen to make some food. Thankfully, you had some leftover rice and spam in the fridge, so you pop that in the microwave. You put the kettle on for some green tea and down another glass of water as it heats up.

Remembering the offer from yesterday and the promise of free food you pad over to your pile of things by the door and grab their card. It’s sleek looking with a plain black background and silver lettering. The address isn’t something you recognize right away so you look it up on your phone.

“What the fuck?” Why is this place in a business park?

You scroll down and check the street view; the building is a high rise surrounded by a mostly empty parking lot. The entrance of the building is blurred, probably to keep the privacy of anyone entering or exiting.

“Well, I guess it’s a nice gig. Better dress the part.” Or maybe you’re gonna get murdered.

“Wow, I really have to stop watching all those true crime shows.” You put the card in your wallet and head back to the kitchen. The microwave beeps and the kettle whistles shortly after. When you’re done eating you put the dishes in the sink to soak and head to the bathroom to finally take a shower.

By the time you have finished showering the whole bathroom is filled with steam and your body has a pink flush to it. You open the door to air it out and finish cleaning up for the day. Your outfit consists of your nicest jeans with ankle boots, a long sleeve blouse and a dark cardigan. You grab one of your smaller over the shoulder purses and leave your apartment.

One of the things you allowed yourself to really splurge on was a car. Public transportation was not as reliable as it could be and with your hours not the safest either.

By the time you make it to the building the sun is starting to set, giving the sky beautiful pink to blue coloring. As you park and get out of your car a young woman walks up to you.

“Welcome Miss Erised! Please follow me and I will escort you through the building.” The woman’s blonde hair is in two messy buns, her face childlike. Her voice was high pitched enough to grate on your nerves a bit, but you ignored it.

As you follow the person through the lobby you take a glance around. Looks like a high-end hotel lobby. There is a front desk area with a marble counter top, women that are dressed in matching button ups with their hair up in buns or ponytails. Random potted plants and small trees dot the area, and a nice chandelier hangs in the middle of the ceiling. No one besides the women at the front desk are in the area.

“Doesn’t seem to be busy right now.” You didn’t even really mean for her to hear you, but she did, and you sounded like an asshole.

They turn their head slightly with a knowing smirk. “It would seem that way wouldn’t it?”

Conversation halts while you stand in the elevator which you were thankful for. They had chosen a floor close to the middle of the building, which gave you just enough time to rethink your life choices.

By the time you got to your floor you are tired of the silence. Normally you hate small talk, but you figured you would give it a shot. “Do you like your job?”

The woman turns to you and smiles, here canines peeking out a bit while shrugging her shoulders. “It keeps me busy, plus I get to make so many friends.” The gleam in her eyes flashes menacingly for a quick second, you decide to pretend you didn’t see it.

As you get to the end of the hall, she opens a door and gestures you inside, closing it behind you. There is a nice desk to the left of the door, other than that the room is sparce. The person sitting in the chair has quite an eclectic look about him. Grey hair parted to the side, shrew eyes behind circular wire rimmed glasses, a gold chain peeks out from the slightly open white button up with a purple blazer. He reeks of cigarette smoke the evidence of his habit tossed into the half-filled ash tray on the desk.

“So nice of you to join me Miss Y/N. Why don’t you have a seat, we can talk about your new position.” He gestures to the only other chair a smirk on his face that shows of his missing tooth.

“I haven’t accepted the job yet Giran, and I thought I told you I don’t want to work for you.” You aren’t used to seeing him in this type of place. But you do know him so there is no need to put on a show. You lean back in the chair and cross your arms.

“How rude of me, you won’t be working for me, but I have been given authority to hire for this company.”

You don’t bat an eye; most large companies use outside help for hiring. “What is this position you would like offer me?”

“This company provides heroes with a way to alleviate their… desires in a safe and discrete way.”

“So, you hire prostitutes for heroes to have sex without worrying about anyone telling the press about it.”

“That is correct.”

“I don’t know if your just stupid or if you forgot but I’m a stripper not a hooker.” You sit up in your chair fully ready to leave the room.

“They would provide you with a fully furnished apartment, medical coverage with 24/7 access to their fully trained medical staff. Any cash given to you by your clients you can keep, however they would take a percentage out of the money they initially pay for your services.”

“Let’s say I’m a little interested, how much is the initial pay for my services?” You want to deny the offer, nothing wrong with having sex for money but it isn’t really your thing.

Giran doesn’t answer right away, instead putting out what is left of his cigarette only to pull another one out of his blazer and lighting it up. “The starting hourly rate is $2,500 an hour, they would take 30 percent from that.”

Holy shit, that’s as much as I make in a day and I would be making it an hour? You keep your face neutral but something in your eyes must have tipped him off.

“You would start tomorrow; most clients keep a contract with their favorite employee and we actually have someone lined up for you already. He has extremely specific tastes and you are the perfect person to fill in.”

“I’ll have to talk to the club owner; would it be possible to start later?” You don’t want to seem to eager, especially not in front of him.

“I don’t see that as a problem, they can give you one week but that’s it.”

You stay silent, making it look like you’re thinking about it. After a moment you lean forward in your chair and stick your hand out. “Sounds like a deal to me.”

Giran grabs you hand and gives it a firm shake. “If you ever need help or have any questions call the number on the card. Now I believe you were offered dinner, let me take you to one of my favorite places.”

You let his hand go and rise from the chair. As Giran comes around the desk and walks towards the door, he stops for a moment and turns to you. “Welcome to the team.”

Dinner was actually genuinely nice; the food was good, and you were able to have a comfortable conversation with Giran. Of course, he didn’t tell you anything about himself, but you had no problems with that, you didn’t wanna share anything to personal about yourself either. He dropped you back off at your car after dinner and shook your hand again before driving off.

By the time you got home you had decided what you were gonna tell the club owner and mentally packed your apartment. Not wanting to take all of your things you moved most of it to a secure storage facility. Having had it for a few years already in order to store the overabundance of clothes you owned.

After the week was up you had quit your job and packed all of your belongings. You realize you don’t know where you are supposed to go so you pull out the card and call the number.

“Hello, how can I assist you?”

“Giran never told me where I would be moving my stuff to. Could you give me the address?” You pick at your nails while waiting for him to answer.

“Of course, Miss Erised. Will you be needing any assistance for your move?”

He sounds so polite; I wonder if he is always like this.

“No, I’ll be fine on my own thank you.”

He gives you the address and let you know that you can call if you need any additional information.

“Good luck Miss Erised.”

When you get back to your apartment you immediately go into the shower and wash up, using the tea tree oil that Froppy had said she uses in an interview.

I don’t understand how people can like this stuff, but he gets easier to handle if I smell like those women.

When you are done you towel dry your hair and make sure to lotion your whole body. When your hair is dry enough you straighten it and leave it down. He likes it better when its down.

You go to your closet and rifle through until finding the very skimpy version of Froppys hero costume. All it really has in common with the original is the tan harness and the green with black and yellow stripes. Otherwise, it is a one-piece bikini without a crotch. You grab your black leather over the knee boots and get dressed. After checking the time, you give yourself a moment to mentally prepare.

I hate this, I hate him. Disgusting filthy little bug. A false hero, a plague. I can’t wait to leave this place.

Standing in the middle of your room you close your eyes and take deep breaths, allowing your consciousness to drift. You have found that the best way to endure these sessions is to detach yourself from the situation. Only focusing on the absolute necessary and maintaining the effects of your quirk. Giving yourself another minute to get into character you walk to the door joining your apartment to the “service room”.

Thankfully, he hasn’t shown up yet, you shut the door hearing the lock click into place, the door seamlessly vanishing into the wall. Sitting on the edge of the bed you face the door that Mineta will walk through and wait.

No matter how many times we do this I never lose the feeling of wanting to vomit while bathing in bleach.

When he walks in you see that he is wearing his hero costume, as atrocious as it is. He never really deviated from the original design. You immediately start your performance.

“Mineta? What am I doing here? kero” You clasp your hands together in front of your chest and look around frightfully.

“Hello Tsu, what a pleasant surprise to see you here.” He walks up, taking off his gloves and throwing them to the side.

“I don’t understand, do you know where- “Your sentence is cut off, pain in your cheek sharp and hot.

“I don’t believe I gave you permission to talk Miss thirty sixth hero.” He stands there with his hand still up as you cup your cheek and look up at him, the tears in your eyes real. He pulls his hand back again as if to slap you and you flinch.

“Good girl, now finish taking off my outfit for me.” Mineta walks back a few steps and holds his arms out. Your fingers are clumsy as you take it of piece by piece.

Mineta abruptly grabs a fist full of your hair and yanks your head back. You grab his hand with both of yours trying to ease his grip.

“Do you think if you do it slow enough, I’ll get bored and go away?” He pulls harder. “Huh? You really think you’re gonna get out of this don’t you.” He tosses you towards the bed and you scramble to get back on your feet.

The tears in your eyes have started to spill over and you start babbling. “Please let me go Mineta, I don’t know what I did but please pleasejust forgive me kero. I won’t tell anyone about this just please don’t hurt me kero.”

He doesn’t answer you, just finishes taking off his outfit before he is walking towards you again, a vicious gleam in his beady eyes.

You back up until the back of your legs hits the bed. You open your mouth to speak but before you can utter a single word, he slaps you again.

“I told you not to speak unless I told you to once already. Now I’m gonna have to punish you, aren’t I?” He shoves you onto the bed and follows, using his knees to push your legs open he sits up and gives himself a few pumps.” No need to prep you, I want this to hurt.”

You are sobbing at this point, your hands covering your face when you feel him push into you. A scream rips out of your throat and you reach forward to push him away.

“You know Tsu, these meetups have been the best. I’m thinking next time I will find the REAL you and have even more fun.” He closes his eyes a leans his head back, fully immersed in only getting himself off.

To engrossed in his own world, he doesn’t realize that you have gone still. Your tears have stopped, and you have pulled your hands back from him.

DISGUSTING

“Find the real me?”

VILE

You break character, bringing your full consciousness back. You voice is just a whisper at first, so he doesn’t hear you, doesn’t stop thrusting.

FALSE HERO

“Find the REAL me?!” You are screaming at him now.

He finally stops, hearing you the second time. For a second you see fear in his eyes before they fill with rage.

MONSTER

“Hey! You better start doing the job I paid you for, I don’t come here for you to question me.” He lifts his hand up, as if to slap you again. Before his hand comes down you grab it, squeezing until he yelps in pain.

This job is over, he isn’t worth keeping around anymore.

“You think I give a shit about a little piss ant like you?!” As you sit up, he yanks his arm away and pulls out of you. Stumbling back, he starts shaking a finger in your direction.

“You can’t talk to me like that! You’re just a whore!”

You dart forward before he can put more distance between you and grab him by the neck. As you pick him up you snarl and let your quirk fade away.

“I may be a whore but I not a monster like you. You are just a fake hero, a plague on this world and I will get rid of every single one of you.” You throw him onto the ground still holding on to his neck and squeeze.

“In other news, Minoru Mineta also known as the pro hero Grape Juice has gone missing after several videos of him have gone viral. He was last seen leaving a brothel that has requested to remain nameless. The videos contain triggering scenes of the pro hero having relations with a prostitute while she is dressed in various hero suits the resemble his old female classmates. He even refers to them by name. The videos contain triggering images, and it is recommended to not seek them out. The original videos have since been taken down but are reuploaded onto the internet on several other sites. The prostitute shown in the videos has also gone missing. Any information on the whereabouts- “

The T.V. turns off, the voice of the news anchor no longer filling the dimly lit bar. The people present remain silent for a moment before a man with burns all over his body starts to laugh.

“You could have really fucked that up Doll. Good thing we got enough evidence.” You sneer at him, making sure you change your appearance to match your own desire. He flinches when he sees his own face.

“I wish you had cut him! There wasn’t enough blood to keep his appearance up for awfully long!” The young woman with two messy blond buns in her hair twirls a knife around.

“I’m terribly sorry Toga, but I didn’t have anything sharp with me.” You pick at your nails and look over at Kurogiri, who is busy pouring a glass of whiskey for Dabi. “Do I get a break after this one or do you and boss man have another gig for me?”

#lillith masterlist #lillith writes #lilliths writing

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genshin-obsessed · 3 years

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hi pocket! moth here, and as promised, i'm giving you word after word after word after word....

i got cicada to type some stuff down too since he also wanted to send something to you in congratulations!! <3 <3

----moth

congratulations on 6k! you're really rad and i genuinely think that you deserve all this support and love, it's just really nice to see that you've progressed so quickly and smoothly! you've put a ton of effort into things your write, your events, everything! your interactions with your anons are just so nice, and that's all because you're an amazing person!

when i joined the genshin fandom, you were one of the first blogs that i had run into, and that's pretty neat. at first, i didn't follow you, since i wasn't really used to your writing. but as i kept on encountering your works, i eventually grew accustomed to it- and i like your writing style! v swag :)

your oc, toxin, is just- perfection. i like the whole background thing, powers, but the fic i liked the most was the one where toxin attempts to poison you. my imagination can just run wild from there, picturing out what the character did after running out to go after toxin, but for zhongli's case how he took care of you + what he did after.

you, pocket, are a wonderful person- if you receive hate, you don't deserve it! 6000 seems like a large accomplishment, and it must've felt really nice to hit that number. a great person like you deserves the world, but the world may not deserve you. your presence alone on tumblr is practically a blessing, and i'm grateful for everything that you've wrote! not only that, but you've helped me become bolder and interact off anon. i think that's pretty neat, genuinely.

i'm sure many others think the same: ilysm(/p) pocket! even if i fall out of the genshin fandom(which i most likely won't bc of XIAOOOOOOOOOOOO <3 <3 <3 <3), i'll still revisit your blog. reading over your works always makes me crack a smile, whether it's angsty or not. your ability to write is amazing, and some of your works had even inspired a few of mine!

a collab with a person like you is like a dream come true. i look forwards to future interactions, and hopefully they're all positive! i support you no matter what, and you can't change that, hehe.

-your local xiao simp,

moth.

----cicada

hello, i believe you've never interacted or heard of me before? i go by cicada online, a friend that appears on moth's blog every now and then. they told me about your 6k followers, and i think that's pretty neat. to be honest when you told moth that you'd do a collab with them i was happy they chose you, since you're a really good person. pocket, thank you so much for everything you've done for me, moth, all of us- i cannot express my gratitude towards you, and i am proud of that because i can usually express my gratitude to others within words. however, since my gratitude towards you is off the charts, i cannot form it in words. regarding the collab, i will attempt to help moth with angst, however my help might not be needed. i thank you deeply, for fueling my everyday energy to get up. reading through your works gives me so much serotonin, and i appreciate that greatly. have a good day or night, perhaps afternoon, mx. pocket.

-cicada.

----any last words before we go sleep?

moth - ily, pocket! /p

cicada - thank you, congratulations. (note: get your well deserved rest, pocket.)

----goodnight, good morning, good afternoon wherever you are ! !

ok so like i genuinely started crying at this and I don't normally get very emotional. You both left me speechless, so that's one of the reasons why I'm taking so long to respond T^T

I'll split my response here to the both of you!

its kinda long- sorry xD also can I just call yall "the bugs" cuz its just so cute ;-; your names are adorable-

Moth, you are such a sweetheart. Like I said earlier, I'm not someone who gets very emotional! But your words brought tears to my eyes (tears of joy ofc) and it took me a while to respond because every time I saw what you'd written, I'd just have this giant smile on my face. I'm really glad you chose to follow me and I'm so happy you chose to talk to me! I always try to be fun and welcoming so that people who do wanna interact can do so, but I get it, there are so many people here it can get daunting.

But I'm glad you reached out! I'm so happy to have a friend like you! Ima be honest, the first few times you sent something in off anon, I was like "o.o they forgot anon-" BUT NOW LOOK AT YOU! Thank you, I really appreciate it. I'm actually pretty self-conscious about my writing but I try to do my best and post- even though I don't like what I've written, so your words really do help me! You're the type of reader every writer wants. Seriously!!

Ah, Toxin! Yes, I've had her as an oc for such a long time and then I finally perfected her! She's been in so many fics of mine and she's finally getting the recognition she deserves!! I'm glad you enjoyed that fic, it's one of my faves! I planned to do a p2 with some other characters but held off cuz I thought people would get bored- yet here you are, sparking my will to write it again!

I still can't believe I hit 6k! Honestly, that's so many people!! and they all like me and my stuff!! it's really hard to believe- there are days I think its a dream >.< silly, I know xD actually, when I first joined tumblr, it was because of BNHA and I saw this writer who had 10k followers at the time and I just was like "that's not even possible" yet here I am- 4k away T^T

I genuinely hope Xiao keeps you here, but if you have to leave for another fandom that's ok too! I can only hope we'll meet once again there too! I think some people in life are meant to be friends and are just meant to know each other! And I'll hope you're one of them! Cuz you're one of the awesomest friends I've had and I love you as well (/p)!! <333

Cicada, omg haiii!! I've heard very little about you since Moth took FOREVER to tell me there's another writer hidden back there!! I'm glad I got a chance to talk to you, even if it's like this! I'm not sure how much you know about me >.< seems like a lot so I'm sorry that I don't know that much about you!

Thank you so much, you're so very sweet and I can't express how happy your words made me. For a long time now, I always wake up and wonder how I can make my friends smile or laugh, and now that's extended to this blog. To hear how happy my writing makes people brings me so much joy that even I can't express it. I know there are many people out there who have lots of things to deal with in life and to know that my writing's helping them through that fuels me to write more!

I'm so glad I can do the same for you! We may not know each other- or maybe it's mostly on my end- but I still want to make you smile! I want to make everyone who stumbles upon my blog smile as well! Life can get hard and it feels so impossible sometimes but if I can give someone the energy to go on, then I'm pretty content with my own! Thank you for reading my works and thank you for telling me this because it really did make me happy.

Aw, thank you, I hope it's not too much! Though I specialize in angst (at least, I like to think so), I wanted to give Moth the opportunity to try! I'll do my best to make the fluffiest fluffing comfort you've ever seen!! Or uh something like that ^w^"

I really do hope that you and I can talk more so I can get to know you! Oh! And that google form- it was super adorable ^w^

You two are too kind and you best believe I'm saving this lil ask <3 you both very well made my entire week (along with that meme anon with those cute memes) and I'm sending you both hugs!! or cookies ^w^ whichever you prefer!

Also, it was nighttime when you sent this and now its 3am >///< i need sleep-

#🌸─ pocket tries #✧ ─ moth #✧ ─ cicada #you're both so sweet #this is one of my favorite asks #<3 #never change #you two

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