#sorry about all that its just that i dont have anyone i can talk to abt this rn but no one truly understands

[spacedlexi]

Hi Lexi

What do you think of partially blinded Vi? You never seem to draw her that way, and I kind of just wanted to know what do you think of it as a certified Vi lover.

I personally think that while something like this can be "cool" (as in, being beneficial to the character design), it's handled quite poor for Vi and it just looks a bit... ungrateful. Simply doesn't look good, doesn't fit her personality or character (am I missing something?) and it doesn't seem to fit or suit her...unlike Kenny's iconic eyepatch. To me, it has become a pivotal thing in his design to a degree in which Kenny with both eyes seems a bit odd looking. I see it as a symbol which stands for Ken being a martyr and all he's lost and sacrificed. He is all about family and helping those he loved, his loved ones truly were the "apple of his eye". It all makes sense, doesn't it?

But for Vi, it's excatly the opposite. I'm just so sorry to see her like this. 😭😭😭 I don't think it makes sense in any way. Louis losing his tongue because he's so talkative and "won't shut up" does kind of make sense, but I cant help but see Violet losing sight as kind of lazy writing. "We need something bad happening to her!!! suffer the children!!!'- the writers exclaimed.

i think vi losing her eyesight is incredibly impactful on her character and i honestly dont understand why some people say its lazy writing. especially since it was foreshadowed multiple times. vi losing her eyesight i think is even more impactful on her character than louis losing his tongue because at least louis still has his music to express himself and uplift spirits through (and its not like he cant communicate At All. his note still makes clem laugh). the reason i dont draw blind vi very often is because of how sad it is to me. for multiple reasons

violets whole thing is wanting to be able to protect the people she cares about, and feels immense grief and guilt about the times she feels shes failed them (thinks if she had been there with the twins that day that she couldve done something to save them. feels she failed everyone taken by the raiders. is scared of failing clem too "if something happened to you because of me? i cant lose you too. i wont". its why she cant leave minnie after shooting her. and a kidnapped vi attacks clem because she doesnt want anyone else to get hurt. hell it even ties back to her grandma and feeling guilty about not doing anything for her)

so for her to lose her eyesight? she took pride in her ability to fight and now she cant do that anymore. cant protect the people she loves. and as someone who started the season as an isolated loner, it forces her to rely on those around her for help, stripping her of her independence (and her independence is what allowed her to stand up against the group for clem when it came to the marlon situation in ep2). a blinded vi is forced into accepting community, whereas a saved violet accepts it on her own. her and clem turn ericsons into the home violet could never see it as

the other reason blind vi makes me so sad is that it is Directly a result of clems actions. kidnapped vi had nothing and wanted nothing to do with the bomb, and yet shes the ONLY ONE who gets hurt by it. clem choosing to let vi be taken means clem both breaks her heart, and then burns out her eyes. louis and his tongue is between him and lilly and was a choice THEY each made outside of clems direct influence (even if it was clem who inspired him to speak up, it is ultimately his choice to keep talking, and lilly hurts him for it. its sad he gets punished for a character moment, but clem had no direct hand in him losing his tongue. its why hes not angry to see her in the cell. he doesnt blame clem for what happened), but the way vi is feeling in that cell is DIRECTLY due to clems actions. vi feels like clem abandoned her after she had put herself on the line for her multiple times. she always had clems back but clem didnt have hers. clem is the one who planted the bomb and vi gets caught in the blast. clem hurts her emotionally And physically. and vi apologizes for getting upset (she tries to apologize on the beach too before theyre forced out in the cart, so she felt wrong for those actions immediately even tho they were understandable. lilly and minnie used her moment of weakness to get in her head. she just wanted everyone to be safe)

kidnapped blinded vi is just so incredibly sad to me, especially when you compare her to a fully realized violet. a violet who has come into herself, has confidence, has opened up, has stopped pushing people away out of fear and lets herself love again. shes a leader. a fighter. a protector. and those are all things a blinded violet loses

neither vi losing her eyes or louis losing his tongue is supposed to add anything to their characters. its about what theyve lost. both of them have important parts of their identity stripped away from them after being taken by the delta. its supposed to be sad. heartbreaking. regrettable. unfortunate. they have not gained anything by their time at the delta, only lost important parts of themselves to it

#twdg #like idk to me kennys eyepatch symbolizes his descent into madness. its the impact carver had on him #hes 'lost his sight' hes losing his way. becoming a danger to the people he says he cares about #kenny gets waaaay too much forgiveness in the fandom and i cant take it honestly. his motivations dont justify his actions #i dont hate him but god do i hate the way the fandom talks about him #esp when certain kenny stans ignore all the protagonists and hate all the women/anyone who opposes a protagonists views/actions #EXCEPT for kenny for some reason???? like when he opposes lee its fine but no one else can do it #you cannot deny hes a scary man by the end of s2 regardless of his motivations and people loooooove to handwave it away #i hate that 'family is family' crap #have none of you ever had a family member do something so horrible that you cut them out of your life completely? #HES NOT EVEN BLOOD FAMILY like that idea doesnt even apply here!! #the whole point of that phrase is that you cant choose who youre related to. twdg is LITERALLY about choosing your family #s3 is the one that makes a point to address blood relations and what worth they have #ok unexpected kenny rant over sorry but boy does the overwhelming kenny love get to me sometimes. there are other characters #sorry i hope this doesnt sound directed at you personally its just the overwhelming fan opinion i see and it drives me mad #where is the NUANCE?? #replies with lexi #plamglam

[thelastharbinger]

Tidbits of ATSV That I Enjoyed (Or Alternatively: Just Miles Being The Most Endearing Spidey Ever)

Miles patting The Spot's head after successfully webbing him (I don't see this as condescending, but rather him still engaging with the humanity of a villain like Spot) and ~very assertively~ telling/asking him not to escape.

"I'm like Robin Hood-if he gave to himself."

Miles' spidey senses going off when he arrives late to his dad's party because there's nothing more frightening than Brown parents when they're mad at you. Beware the chancla or correa!

O.k. So we all know there are different versions of the movie out there. You may already know that one of the slight differences is when Miles goes to save Inspector Singh. There's a version where you can hear Gwen's voice in the distant background yelling no! when she thinks Miles gets crushed under the rubble, and there's another where she's silent as she webs to him. Now, I have found ANOTHER version (online) where her shouting is even more at the forefront. She's practically screaming and sounds more desperate, (prolly because it's close to the same way her Peter Parker died so she's reliving trauma) and the fear in her voice is palpable. That one haunts me.

Jefferson trying to equate studying for his police exams to childbirth, which Rio quickly nips in the bud.

Ganke having a soccer poster of Son Heung Min, a famous Korean footballer who currently plays for the Premier League Tottenham Hotspur and is captain of the South Korean national team.

Miles having a Sashimi (his universe's version of Supreme, but I just like the idea that Miles loves eating sashimi. Like I know that kid has good taste in food) poster in his bedroom.

The fact that Miles kept in touch with Aunt May for long enough after the events of ITSV that he helps her move.

The Spot saying he was one of the more handsome scientists at Alchemax according to his colleagues.

Miles and Gwen having the same collectible toys, the only difference being that he keeps his in the box and she doesn't.

"Hey, don't try to wow me with big words, man," *in deep manly voice* "I do crosswords every day"- Miles after Spot points out Alchemax as "the crucible of our connection!"

Miles going, "This job is so dumb sometimes" after he tries to web Spot at the deli, but it goes through a hole and lands on his face.

"Nahhh, he seems more Dominican to me." Kinda want Miles to meet a native Dominican Spidey because that dynamic would highkey fuck hard *pun not intended*. They would repair relations between our two islands-PR&DR.

"Almost there Mami *smiley face* *cowboy* prayer hands*"

The college admissions coach at Visions Academy straight up saying, "That's your story! Now, just stick to the script..." Ma'am what???

"Calmate Mami, eso no es my fault."

"I've hit a lot of different villains with a lot of different food...I'm just trying to lighten the mood."

Miles in his angsty teen era and smart-mouthing everyone around him. Love that for him.

"He almost killed his mom as a baby, I mean, look at those shoulders." No but for real tho. Those shoulders are as wide as a truck. Kim Seokjin who??? (if you understood that reference, ily).

Miles writing a love letter to his dad in 2 cakes.

Gwen at the water tower chowing and saying how feelings make her hungry after her and Miles talked about how they can't be together cause it would end in tragedy. Like Gwen, come again?!

Also, Miles' and Gwen's talk at the Williamsburg Bank Building being lowkey the catalyst for the 2nd/3rd acts of the film. Without them both kind of silently admitting their feelings for each other, Miles probably wouldn't have chased after her the way he did. Pretty sure you know the rest.

"I bet she doesn't even speak Spanish," and Jeff going "Que barbaridad" in his very broken Spanish. Queue Rio's bombastic side eye.

Both Gwen and Miles referring to Spot as a Villain Of The Week, even though neither of them have spoken about Spot to each other.

"I was bitten by a-wouldnt you like to know? Know what I mean?" SIR. Chill. This movie is for children.

The Spot inverting himself, going from a white mass with black spots to a gaping black hole with smaller white spirals. It's giving Junji Ito.

The irony of Pavitr exclaiming, "Well that was another easy adventure for Spider-Man!" right before an incoming canon event. HIS. He was about to experience his first big loss, and his happy-go-lucky nature would've been challenged.

Miguel saying conyo! when all the Spideys start pointing at each other.

"!Cállate!" "Nosy!" Sidebar: we don't talk about Gwen's banter with bad guys enough. She's so funny!

A lot of the Peters saying hi to Gwen as she passes HQ because she is canonically the one lost love--the love interest they all would've ended up with had she not died, so they all have an affection for her.

Web-Slinger going "Giddy up!" Cause he's swinging up.

Miles offering his fresh new takes on how to deal with the Spot upon meeting Miguel, saying "He just wants to be taken seriously. Like we all do." MILES YOU BEAUTIFUL, COMPASSIONATE GOLDEN SUNFLOWER BOY I LOVE YOUUUUU.

Hobie referring to Peter B. as Humbling Reality Spider-Man, which considering how steeped in tragedy the Spidey lore is, is really saying something.

Miguel's nonono no puedo más no puedo más. His misery is very funny and delightful to me. Little bitch ass.

"You know you're the only Spider-Man who isn't funny." Yes! More Miguel slander in the next one, please! Little bitch ass.

"Snitch!"

Miles shouting out Peter's name for help whilst Miguel pins and lays into him the fact that he's an anomaly. This after he momentarily glitches back to his ITSV store-bought suit. Mimicking the way-in also the first movie-Miles shouting out Peter's name for his own rescue as Doc Ock attacks him at the research facility. Because even though he feels hurt by Peter at this point, that's still his dad mentor and he still instinctively looks to him for protection. Rip my heart out why don't you!

Gwen sneaking back into her and her dad's place just to get that printed polaroid of her and Miles, a pic she already has on her phone.

Earth-42 Miles wearing Nike while our Miles wears Jordans.

#hi. ive seen this movie 8x in theaters and twice on pirating sites. i am unwell #also sorry not sorry for the miguel slander. i am a miles loyalist thru and thru thst bitch is on thin ice #but also literally can't get over gwen “it really is so nice to get to talk to you. me & him its different. in every other universe...stacy #cause directly underneath that she's actually saying. “i missed you. and what i have with you i literally do not have with anyone else and. #you dont know this but ive met hundreds and thousands of spiderpeople. nd even in my friendship with hobie its not like what i have with yo #and im actually really smitten with you. the one person i shouldn't be smitten with bc there is no happy ending for us. and idk... #if i should hold off. and im letting you know all this so that you can decide for me. whether to take that lesp of faith or not with you. & #hope that say yes and make the first move so that i cant but help to just sink into you.“ #AND IT MAKES SENSE! SHE MET HIM JUST AS HE WAS LIVING THROUGH AN EXPERIENCE SHE DID. OF BECOMING SPIDEY. AND RIGHT AFTER #SUFFERING THE GREATEST TRAGEDY OF HER LIFE WHICH SHE WAS ABOUT TO BEAR WITNESS THRU WITH HIM. SHE WAS THERE FOR HIS UNCLE DYING AND WATCHED #HIM BECOME SPIDERMAN. WE FORGET THAT THEY ACTUALLY WENT THRU SOME HEAVY THINGS TOGETHER. THEYRE TRAUMABONDED. I KNOW THATS NOT WHAT THAT WO #ACTUALLY MEANS. BUT IT MAKES SENSE THAT SHE CAN ONLY TALK TO MILES BC THEY PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND EO. #anyways idk why im shouting. im high rn. but crazy how all of that meaning was subtly thrown in there. like we got a confession scene folks #from gwen of all people! i love that for me. #also back to miguel: so i know he's hot. but if a hot person were to ever be rude to a waiter we agree theyre no longer hot right? right. #atsv #miles morales #itsv #miguel o'hara #the spot #ghostflower #gwiles #gwen stacy #ghost spider #gwen x miles #rio morales #across the spider verse #into the spider verse

[stuffedsand]

for the violence ask game: 8 common fandom opinion everyone is wrong about. for milgram. i know exactly what you're going to say i just want to see you go off again

Hiii bestie. You do know what I'm about to talk about. Yippee

Disclaimer that this whole essay is like. For fun and how I say things is ramped up to be funny. I don't mind if you disagree w me cuz like that's the nature of things! We disagree but we can get along.

Anyways short answer for people who don't wanna see the essay: organ harvesting theory. This is about shidou.

Idk how prevalent it is rn since not many people even talk about shidou but it was prevalent enough in June when I got into milgram that I believed it for a bit anyways the rest in under the cut cuz I'm insane sorrg

SO the main reason I think the theory is WRONG (hyperbole‼️) is because I just think it's unrealistic. Man works in a hospital in Japan. How would he pull it off. Scuff an operation bad enough to cause braindeath/death and I'm p sure they suspend your medical licence, if he participated in an organ harvesting operation pre-family-accident his case would then be black and white cuz he was doing it in complete sound mind with no regard for human life. Also it wouldn't justify the extreme reaction he's had to realizing, specifically, "what I've been robbing people of" (t1 voice trailer), and he wouldn't have as heavy a focus on the relatives' feelings and reactions. At least story writing wise it'd make less sense since it doesn't allude to anything if that's the end goal? Imo at least. Idk maybe this is because I really like tragedies in media. Also because it'd be a really disproportionately severe crime compared to every other direct murderer???? Like. We have strangled someone, stabbed someone, bludgeoning, bludgeoning, kicked someone to death. Organ harvesting looks cartoony in this context. It's also not a very prevelant issue in Japan iirc.

Also to prove my point further. If we use this theories the murders would be

Strangling, abortion??????, cyber bullying, stabbing, organ harvesting, toxic r/s, telling the truth (lmao), bludgeoning, bludgeoning, bludgeoning (minus weapon). Organ harvesting is goofy cuz it seems so.... Extreme,,,,,,,

ALSSOOOOO funny point. If he's not directly involved in his murder (as in, unintentional and indirect) that makes 5 direct and 5 indirect. Silly.

Also also his murder seems somewhat tied to how he feels about his job itself ("I wanted to contribute to society (about his career choice)/I had thought my work was a contribution to society", use of past tense) and to me it reads like hes disillusioned w his job esp since his reason for getting a highly sought after, high paying and high social ranking job is "I wanted to contribute to society". Doctors with that empathy can be affected by the death around them more severely and I think that's a fun topic to look at

I count this under "common fandom opinion" cuz it was common enough around June (whenyours truesly got into milgram) that I believed it. I mean I introduced shidou to my friend (hello clown) as "maybe Dr malpractice. Organ harvesting dude" and said friend (hello again clown) is also the one who's heard me bash the organ harvesting theory like 6 times at least now so. Yippee.

Take none of this seriously I just got off a plane and am so very eepy. If you like the organ harvesting theory good for you!!!!!!!💥💥💥💥💥 you do you bestie !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I literally do not think less of anyone who believes that theory I just personally dont lmao

#sand speaks #hiiiii bestie my silly mutual. youve heard this rant before now for it poorly formatted in text #i mean its better formatted than when i actually talk abt it cuz if i wrote it the way i originally did the points would not be organised #like at all. itd be so bad #anyways all of this is lighthearted i dont think less of anyone with different opinions i just. dont believe the theory at all #i like the tragedy thag comes woth it technhcally not being his fault but also kinda being his fault. #like maybe he had really bad manners towards relatives. or horribls bedside manner (youre in my way just die already“ like ok mr kirisaki. #dont say that to a comatose patient my dude. but yeah it can be argued that morally hed be in the wdong #or if he persuaded relatives to dknate patients organs. which is rude and also malpractice (coercion and taking advantage of ppl in vulnerab #and with his themes of lying (covers) i fhink it could wither be lying to relatives of patients OR. him seeing hsi work and the promise of #saving people from illness or death as a lie and a hoax becasye so many people died anyways despite those promises #anhwyas im insane about this man. characters with extreme worldviews entirely of their own making my beloved #like nothing told him to believe this. he just does and thats whats interesting to me #anywasy suuper sorry about the big essay and the many tags. i love this fandom #i have so much to say but so little phone battery. and mental battery its Zzzzzzzzz time #tell me if abything in here sounds mean or anything btw im too used to being mean as a jokiing thing so im worried ill offend someone

[angel-of-sweet-revenge]

When your friend needs you to be there to comfort them, but you have no energy for serious conversations and so you're stuck wondering if youre being a selfish asshole or if youre justified in not wanting to be the one to sort their problems out

#vent #its not like they didnt offer to hear my problems. but i just dont want to talk about. or anything #i dont want serious conversations. i dont want to have to worry about other people. i just cant. #im just so fucking exhausted and i dont know if its talking to them and feeling drained by the fact that theyre going through something- #-and that i need to be the therapist or if im just sick. again. #plus yesterday i slept late. my mum made me cry (i think she was just tired out by that point in the day so i doubt it was personal) #and just #im fucking tired ok #and I'm sorry im a bad friend #i just dont have energy. i want to have good energy around me to try give me some. #but when theyre upset it gets into me and drains me and I've been there as much as i can but i just cant right now. im too tired #i know im a shitty person but literally everyone got to be a shitty person at my expense so isnt it my fucking turn? #and then assuming i was acting like that to hurt them. I DO NOT WANT TO HURT ANYONE. IF WE HAVE A FIGHT I WANT TO MOVE ON. #I'm not gonna be caught up in it if we resolved it #but yeah. long story short they're going through shit and i feel like shit #and i think them going through shit is what makes me feel like shit. because i worry about them #and they can lash out on me #i just dont know anymore. i dont know if im an awful person or not #last year i broke up with a friend and my mum said I'll do the same with the next friend #it wasnt my fault #that friend ghosted me #im trying not to be her rn too and im scared that ive been in the wrong im scared im a shitty person too #but at the same time im too done to even really care #i just wanna stop fucking feeling all this and just get on with my day

[dailynakaharachuuya]

(just some thoughts about things, I think its rather long so you don't have to read ❤️❤️)

#(sorry for the sudden post but hmmm) #(I cant tell if I am just not into bsd as much as other people) #(or if its simply bc Im just not as opinionated) #(the current story arc has gotten so far and like woah that I don't feel like super excited or shocked whenever there's a new update) #(either that or seeing everyones complaints about everything kinda dampens the excitement) #(tbh I really enjoyed up to like the guild arc but once it got into the whole like fyodor business my brain stopped) #(its interesting but maybe I just like happy endings too much haha) #(I dont talk to anyone in the fandom but I feel like it is very negative( #(hence the reason why I dont really interact outside of posting these drawings every once in a while) #(I like slice of life stuff I suppose and all this is too much haha I much prefer bsd wan honestly) #(itd probably be easier to just ignore the fandom or so) #(but its a bit difficult to do when I wanna see cool art and cool ideas too) #(I dont know) #(maybe bc I dont remember much from the manga but I dont feel as negative as others) #(sorry this was really long hahaha) #(I think I just dont want to feel alone again) #(though I dont have any mutuals so I guess I kinda already am haha) #(🌟🌟 it makes me happy if even one person likes my drawings or ideas) #(makes me feel like I can do it) #(and not feel so negative about something I quite enjoy!)

[trans-estinien]

people really love to conveniently forget trans men exist when they talk about feminism. or if they dont they make us out as also part of the problem as if we somehow are able to have the same amount of privilege as cis men. absolutely wild

#“not all men” is a valid statement because its fucking true #like guys. seriously. not every single man is evil #feminism isnt about putting men down its about raising women up to be equal and getting rid of gender inequality #sorry im seeing a massive uptick in people hating on trans men for being men lately and its fucking stupid #like yall are doing a great job at making me feel ashamed to be a man who likes men. awesome thanks guys #i dont normally make posts like this but its been rattling around in my mind for a few days now #its always put out like. all men (trans or not) are Inherently Evil and all women (trans or not) are Inherently Victims #which is absolutely the stupidest shit ive ever seen #and they also leave out anyone who doesnt fit into the man/woman dichotomy. and if they dont its always seen as woman lite #which is also stupid as fuck #not every nb/agender/other person is feminine asshole #anways. case in point. can we stop demonizing masculinity while also discussing the effects of misogyny and the patriarchy please. #because both of those things are very real and very much do hurt people #but im sick of people lashing out at trans men as if the problem magically doesn't affect us anymore because we are men #because guess what! newsflash! it affects trans AND cis men too!! #i shouldnt have to explain it should be obvious but like. im tired man #sorry ill forever be annoyed at women who just hate every single man who dares breathe in their direction because they COULD be an asshole #if you hate someone because of their gender no matter what gender it is i Do Not Trust You #anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk. replies are off cause i dont want to argue with people i just want to express my opinion

[skitskatdacat63]

you don’t have to post this but i just want you to know i totally relate i rbed an ask game post today and got no asks :/ it sucks even if it’s just a silly little tumblr game

Yeahhhhh :(( I'm glad I'm not alone, anon. This made me feel a bit better, so thank you <3

#I feel pretty lonely in general atm #and it's not fun when you try to make an attempt to get out of your shell and it just. Doesn't do anything. #I already feel weirdly desperate for attention when I reblog those #like it's one of those things that still make me feel weird for some reason #And it doesn't help when you feel like you don't get acknowledged #again im probably being super whiney rn but #i feel like im having trouble attracting interest? is that bad to say? idk :/ #i just wanna talk about anything and i just have trouble finding ways to get people to engage ig #thats not to blame anyone at all. i just dont know how to get that :') #its just a weird thing to kinda feel like youre losing your footing like this #ughhhh sry i sound so insecure #but idk. i wanna talk about art and such. or get peoples opinions or questions. #but I just dont even want to reblog them bcs it makes me feel emptier than not reblogging #and you see other people's blogs and theyre getting a lot of asks and idk what to do in that situation #they deserve those asks and im very glad for them but like. am i doing smth wrong :/ #my constant insecurity is that im being annoying. and unfortunately things like this just make me feel like people are fed up w me ig #SORRY AGAIN. its my blog i can complain ik that. but still. am i being whiney idk #catie.asks.

[bittwitchy]

see the reality is i post on my rps usually when nobodys been there a bit and nobody is probably online, but the mental illness in me keeps saying its bc everyone secretly hates me and i dont deserve love, and when i tell a gov doctor that, they basically just say ‘take your antidepressant’s and shut up’ which is also funny when said gov doctor wont refill my fucking antidepressants in the first place

#what i need is smthn for my anxiety and PROBABLY the obviously worsening ocd #but anxiety meds and antidepressants dont mix well #just like adhd meds and anything else dont mix well #which is why i just have a redbull if i need to focus bx it works for a few hours and then i pass out #which isnt healthy but its better than going through the diagnosis process AGAIN bc they dont have my info anymore #its early sad times rn w brina who hasnt gotten an ounce of treatment at all hi #see the other thing is #if i talk about my mental health at all #people will either hate me for being annoying which is what my brain will pinpoint #or feel sorry for me which i also dont want #all i rly wanna do is vent but thats never really an option at all #like yes i know its not normal to want to have a breakdown and cry bc your fucking pillow isnt the correct fluff and wont dluff #i know its not normal to feel like you should die because something wasnt in fhe spot you put it in and was moved slightly #im aware. and the reality is nobody who can do anything about it cares #i have to get an authorization to see a therapist or get meds at all even tho the card claims i dont have to #and the doc tbey gave me wont give me one #they dont allow email so i cant leave a paper trail when bitching at them and my calls go ignored #im losing my mind steadily #and thats not even onto the physical problems #but also the sheer fucking audacity of the website being all ‘oh just go to ERs and UC snd we’ll cover it’ vs hospitals specifically saying #‘we will refuse you if you have Gov Ins unless you have the money to pay out of pocket #if youre on gov insurance you dont have fucking money thats the entire fucking point. you creedy fucknuts go shove tour nepotism in your #fucking eyes and die if anyone doesnt deserve to fuck its you fuckfaces #sometimes i just want to scream esp when this doesnt seem to be most other ppls issues #but then i talk to other women and it is #it just doesnt make sense and i hate it #but i never rly got help on private insurance either so #tbd #depression cw

[scattered-winter]

.

#the worst part about all this is that i Literally saw her 2 weeks ago. we didnt have time to talk we just said hi and went our separate ways #i never even got to say goodbye to her. #and i didnt even know i needed to because this was all so fucking sudden. she was my age. healthy. etc #life is really fucking fragile huh. like it can be gone just like that. #im sorry im just. #i was super close with her mom too and i want to idk. text her or something. but what the fuck can i even say?? #and my other friends in that friend group are all unavailable rn for one reason or another #like. no contact in another country kind of unavailable #so im just. do they even know. has anyone told them. or will they find out when they come back. #i still cant even wrap my head around it tbh. its just. she was alive this morning. she was alive. this morning. #hh. anyway. #i called my sister and cried to her a little bit which was nice. but fuck i really really wish i could hug her right now #or cuddle my dog. literally anything. #im going to be such a fucking mess tomorrow oh my god #i dont even want to go to sleep tonight because if i see her in my dreams im going to fucking lose it #i dont know. i dont fucking know. #winter speaks #personal #tw death #grief tag #<- i fucking guess. i might be venting more in the next few weeks so ill at least make it easy to blacklist

[timiddot]

i need a new job but im disabled and autistic and i cant drive and ive only ever worked one job before the one i currently work and i don't have any college and the job market is so bad right now i don't know what to do at all i just need to make more money but i'm completely fucking drained mentally and physically from my current shitty job that isn't even that hard i'm just weak to the point where i don't have the energy to look for other jobs and my fucking computer is kinda broken and i really want to work a remote job but i can't with my computer like that and i don't know what to do but i can't keep earning fucking $9 an hour with like 20 hours a week but i can't work another retail job or i think i will genuinely lose my mind more than i already have and that therapist hasn't gotten back to me and i don't know what to fucking do at all i am so lost i just want it all to be fucking over!!!! AND IM SICK HAHAHA FUCK ME !

#moss sprouts #sorry im not doing good. #the last like 6 months of my life have made me so fucking hopeless #with everything that happened w logan and shit and money and life is just hell #i dont even have anybody to talk to abt shit with logan because i didn't fucking tell anyone when it was happening #and now its been over for months and what point is there to bring it up #i dont have frienfs that i can talk to #im sorry i dont really expect anyone to read this #if you Know who i mean when i say logan please dont like..contact them about my fucking dumb posting. #i doubt anyone would but im paranoid i just want it all to be over

[weirdlizard26]

grbrggbfrgbbffbrg

#wl26 #hrng #feeling cute might never talk to anyone ever again #why do i alllllways say the wrong thing #or idk #one moment i have this one image of the world #and i think doing things in a certain way is correct #then i learn that apparently its wrong and you should communicate if youre unhappy about something #ans so i apply that to my life onward #and then like im sorry this happened but maybe next time tell me youre not ok with this #only to then be told that i shouldve known #and i guess i should have #but i didnt #because assuming is also wrong #because not everything is about me #so is there no way of doing anything right or am i just an asshole and a loser with memory so bad i cant recall what happened last week #did happen? did i just think about doing or saying it so hard that my brain registered it as a real action? #who fucking knows man #im so tired #i dont know #is there something wrong with me or am i jusy a jerk #am i just faking the whole neurodivergent shit so that i can make excuses for myself when someone gets hurt #is that all it is

[broke-on-books]

Holy topic change batman

How did we even get here

#reading a poem from class and am just in shock at a change of topic here and the language used #like i dont have cultural knowledge/connection/whatever of the word used so it itself isnt like sensitive for me in any way nd i dont know #how much it is that in spanish (bc im reading the poem in soanish and translating the words i dont know into english to understand better) #but the FREAKING TOPIC CHANGE here has left me so shocked #like im sorry but how do we go from talking abt how this homie is like the special voice of the city and connection to nature in an #industial world only to then go (direct translation) “and the faggots #they dreamed of you“ like bro WHEN DID THEY GET HERE #anyways i picked this poem bc it was a little queer from the skim i did i can admit that but obviously i missed the bulk of it because i did #not see that line coming at all or the total topic change here #like again i picked up it was a little gay on the skim bc its by a gay poet abt a gay poet. and bro is described using words like beautiful #handsome etc. a few times #but looking through and skimming the rest is just them talking about gay ppl the whole time. how did i miss this. like yeah this was #likely written in the 1920s uses older language (not to mention in my 2nd language) but wow okay #going thru and translating and that just hit me by surprise horribly #I THOUGHT WE WERE TALKING ABT INDUSTRY AND NATURE #okay i think ive recovered from the shock there i need to finish actually 7nderstanding this so i can write the paper i put off so ling #also 10 points and like a shitty doodle of choice if anyone knows the poem here. #i have an awful track record of following through on these promises but like interested to see if its semi obvious

[caffeinatedopossum]

people keep making me think I'm smart and it's fucking with my fundamental understanding that I am simply a Person and I know what I know which is equal to what everyone else knows even when those people specialize in different knowledge than me. Like I had this general trust and respect that everyone knows something I don't and didn't consider that I, in turn, also know things that they do not 🤨 crazy how that works

#also im just really scared of giving unsolicited advice/knowledge because many people have gotten mad at me about it before #i would get called a know it all and a killjoy and all this stuff just because i wanted to say something #i think i have a small mansplaining problem... i just really love to state things on #mm stating facts my favorite #ok but there is a subtle difference between mansplaining and autistic explaining (and right now im doing both 🥲) #lmao im sorry guys i am trying my best not to be dismissive or disruptive or interrupt anyone #i genuinely just like talking about things i know about #and if you bring one of those things up and youre wrong about something i will either correct you #or say nothing for the entire rest of the day. because im thinking about how i didnt tell you #just thinking about the 'they dont know...' meme but its just 'they dont know how serotonin actually works' or something #i can show self restraint but with emphasis on the show. it will show #im sorry i really dont know if theres anything i can do about that #i love to explain. maybe i could be a teacher or something someday

[widevibratobitch]

What. What drama happened on operablr. 😨 Gets scared

oh anon.... oh please do not make me relive that ahgfhjagkahgkh

#look. im not talking shit about anyone publicly (anymore whoops) #its a really long story and i honestly dont have the energy to go back to all that drama. its over. its done. #if you're really really curious you can go down my 'opera tag' and look upon the polls and the memes #and the beautiful oh so beautiful callout post #that i like to think of now as my and that person's equivalent of the randall and jamie meeting on the battlefield scene <333 #only not nearly as sexy im sorry #anyway have fun <33 #sorry im all for drama but it would really just take way too long to tell lol

[taikk0]

JUST SAYING ONCE I LEARN TO PRONOUNCE MY T'S PROPERLY ITS OVER FOR YOU BUTTNUGGETS

#IVE ALWAYS PRONOUNCED T'S WITH MY TONGUE AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO FIX IT ITS BEEN THAT WAY FOR SO LONG #BUT ONE DAY. I WILL PRONOUNCE MY T'S SO GOOD YOULL THINK IM A WHITE PERSON #WHAT SUCKS TOO IS THAT IM BILINGUAL WHILE ENGLISH IS MY FIRST LANGUAGE I SPEAK TAGALOG MOST OF THE TIME BECAUSE OF MY ENVIRONMENT SO I- #-HAVE NO PROPER WAY OF PRACTICING IT BC FILIPINOS PRONOUNCE T'S DIFFERENTLY BC OF THE LANGUAGE AND UNLESS IM IN AN ENGLISH SPEAKING- #-SETTING THERES NO WAY IM GONNA BE ABLE TO PRACTICE CONSISTENTLY 💔💔 #even worse i slur over my words all the time. i have a stutter. i have VERY frequent voice cracks and when i try to suppress them i sound- #-ver odd. PLUS ADHD #idk if adhd might be one of the causes or of it gets added to the pile but dude i actually need help 💀💀 #but another problem is i dont think anyone would see the point in it #i communicate just fine its just that i have so much trouble communicating verbally (vocally?) in a way that isnt unnatural and in a way- #-that properly articulates what i want to say and how i say it. often i have so much trouble showing varied emotion to prove a point when- #-im referring or talking about something that isnt reactionary #LIKE DUDE WHY IS TALKING SO HARD 💔ALL PEOPLE CAN TALK WHY DO I HAVE TO SUFFER THROUGH ALL PF THIS THIS SUCKS #which might be why i prefer writing what i want to say bc unlike talking the way i speak has nothing to do with it. i get given time to- #-think. and with an adhd brain writing what you want to say is so much better because typing it out involves the conscious decision to- #-type it all out and it acts as a filter #BLEFGGGH SORRY I KEEP BLABBERING ON THIS WSS SUPPPSED TO BE A SILLY LITTLE POST IDK WHY I WENT HAM IN THE TAGS #anyways umm yeah i dont like talking. i like communicating and maybe socializing tho. but not talking. does that make sense??? #there r also times where i straightup cant speak at all. i want to speak and i want to say things but my brain feels too busy or ig blank- #-but not empty and i cant form words or sentences and all i have are thoughts and feelings #anyways i think asl is neat and i want to learn it not just for my benefit but also for accessibility #also filipino sign language if im up for it #man there is something wrong w my brain 💀 #mikyomix rambles #yeah this one was a true ramble but only in the tags

[dirt-str1der]

Trans kiryu is a genuinely funny hc because like trans majima is like oohh angst ohh she has to fight to be accepted she has to deal with people making fun of her for being a man in a dress she has to take into account her position and social standing and kiryu is literally just kiryu forever because the universe loves him too much to ever force him into a situation unless its to go to prison in which case hes like yayyy i love jail yayy yayyy

#Yakzua loveblog #im just talking to myself you guys dont need to read anything #in fact dont read this im going to talk about transphobic nishiki again anyway #my transphobic nishiki hc is the most important one to me because. like we all need to have some transphobic people in our lives #i do think that nishiki calls him ‘kiryu’ even though theyre best friends forever because when nishiki will always accidentally say his #deadname instead of ‘kazuma’ even though i know that nishiki is literally the one who gave him the name kazuma to make fun of kiryu for #thinking hes a boy and it just kind of stuck but nishiki eventually stuck. with calling him kiryu because thats how he prefers to be called #they are bestfriends for a reason .... and nishiki is the only one kiryu will let be transphobic towards him because theyve known each other #for forever and he knows he means no harm by it like he will still hit him but nishiki takes it in stride because its their thing and its #never not funny to make kiryu annoyed like for anyone else its an uncrossable line but once a month nishiki will lead kiryu into the womens #section to shop for new clothes and kiryus like Somehow i always knew you wore womens jeans and nishikis like HEY !!!! #but as kids they were always very cute because theyre always together and you can never really tell whos following who because it seems like #theyre on the same wavelength until nishiki realises that life is so much easier when youre working smart so he went to work on his INT stat #while kiryu never stopped being a wild animal like hes literally some sort of monkey to me sorry for dehumanising him because of his autism #like i adore his ‘own little bubble’ way of life as long as he’s physically okay kiryus not going to complain about anything. like when he #said ‘i decide to do things based on whether i love it or hate it’ im like Yeah i bet you do. he sits outside the orphanage all day playing #with rocks until nishiki comes finds him then they both go outside to smash open windows with the rocks kiryu has gathered and kiryus in his #little skirt and he always uses it to carry things in you know how it is and he stopped going to school to be a bigger menace than everyone #anyway did i mention that the universe loves kiryu. especially his genes he was very lucky because he never had a big chest or nothing he #was always going to get tall and thick in the shoulders and beefy and when he cut his hair it just sealed the deal he passed with flying #colours like young children are indistinguishable by gender unless they have a big pink bow in their hair but kiryu radiated masculinity #from a young age and his aggressive way of life didnt help. well it helped a lot actually. a lot of people were scared of him and nishikis #like dont be scared of kiryu shes nice when you get to know her and everyones like ?? thats a girl ??? #in fact it made more sense for kiryu to be a boy at that point so he went to kazama and told him and kazama was like ok lets make it happen #like kiryu and nishiki are so special because there is nobody in the universe more transphobic to kiryu than his own brother but also nishik #was the one helping kiryu shop for boy clothes when he was clueless about it like hes not stupid but he really doesnt know about fashion and #he trusts nishiki to not make him look stupid and nishiki is of course like 😏 well well well youre having a girl moment arent you #nishiki is okay with kiryu being a guy because this means that now whenever kiryu hits him he can fight back without being misogynistic #okay im done talking my noodles are getting cold but kiryu as a kid would have been a veritable nightmare #oh yeah my trans beam extended to nishitani as well because just look at him. everybody majima wants to sex is trans