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cartoonartistpng · 5 months

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Mephiles the Mind, Iblis the Heart

Basically a breakdown of how I interpreted 06 but also a foundation I use for all my AUs.

Mephiles is highly intelligent and apathetic while Iblis relies on emotion and is more like a wild animal. Mephiles does not have full access to Solaris' time powers, but Iblis does. However, Iblis does not have the mental capacity to actually use them.

Things that are less “interpretive” and more “theory”:

This is why Iblis needed a powerful emotion to be released

In the original timeline, the one which led to Silver’s future, it was Elise’s death which released Iblis. Because the seal was broken improperly, Mephiles could not recombine with Iblis. Therefore, he would need to look for a different way, but he can’t with Sonic being there and being an obstacle (not while Mephiles is still weak). Hence why he brought in Silver—a powerful hedgehog determined to save his future no matter the cost—who is also a completely new factor to change the timeline. Silver would keep Sonic busy while Mephiles figured out how to properly release Iblis… Since letting her die didn’t work last time. When Silver began figuring out the charade, Mephiles didn’t care enough to try hard with his manipulations, especially if it meant Silver would help keep Elise alive. However, once Mephiles realized the way to release Iblis was via an extreme emotion from Elise well… how convenient that the Princess grew attached to a certain blue hedgehog. Turns out killing Sonic really was the key all along. And if you want something done right… you gotta do it yourself.

Essentially (to explain Mephiles’ weird planning in canon), Mephiles did not know the seal was reliant on Elise’s emotions in the beginning, so he sends Silver to distract Sonic while he figures out how to actually free his other half. How ironic that killing Sonic is indeed what needs to happen. Mephiles basically has a “wait, it’s actually that simple?” moment

The strong emotion can be anything—grief, anger, joy, fear—it just has to be strong. Like a “consuming your mind” kind of strong.

The original explosion which killed Elise was too sudden for any strong emotion to pop up. (Even in her last moments, she had faith Sonic would save her.)

Mephiles is the mind while Iblis is the heart. Only once combined does Mephiles—or Solaris now—actually feel feelings. However, Solaris is still adjusting after the disoriented episode of being literally split in two and so acts completely on his anger toward mortals for taking advantage of him.

At the end of 06, Solaris isn’t destroyed but rather is scattered/subdued, and everyone will already be long gone by the time Solaris’ pieces are reunited. Like “after Dark Gaia and Light Gaia have restarted the planet” kind of long time. They are gods after all. Time is different for them.

The rest of this is sparked from my “Trinity Gods” fanon. Aka, Gaia, the Master Emerald, and Solaris are the three gods who created Earth, as well as any planets prior to Earth. The Master Emerald is also called “Mother Chaos”.

While Gaia slumbers, Mother Chaos and Solaris watch over the planet to protect it. During Earth’s creation, Mother Chaos took on a physical form (ie. The Master Emerald) to live on Earth amongst its creatures. Curious about all Mother Chaos learned whilst living amongst mortals, Solaris decided to also take on a physical form and live amongst them. However, this meant limiting his ability to see the future—or rather which future would come true. Thus, Solaris did not see what the humans planned on doing with him until it was too late.

Gaia and Mother Chaos are A-Okay with Solaris destroying the planet. I mean, it wouldn’t be the first time one of them has, after all. It’d be a bummer for it to end so soon, but they can just make another one. It’s because of this that they don’t interfere with Solaris’ plot… as well as the fact that their creations had hurt their friend.

It’s also this familiarity that means the Chaos Emeralds will so easily obey Mephiles. Doesn’t matter who posses them or if they’re on the other side of the planet, if the gods call, they answer.

#mephiles the dark #iblis sonic #Iblis the inferno #the flames of disaster #solaris #making this as a post I can link to for my other stuff #sonic 06 #Sonic 06 theory #sonic theory #Sonic au #dadphiles au #askthesonicgods #Sonic the hedgehog #sth #sth art #sth fanart #sth idea #baguette art #baguette thoughts

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thankskenpenders · 1 year

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MORE behind the scenes Sonic info and other tidbits from the BumbleKast as I continue to get caught up. These range from September 2022 to early December. (This means there are spoilers for Frontiers in here.)

They're doing episodes even more often now, so I've got a lot to catch up on and I'm sure most of y'all do too!

1. The IDW comics are, in fact, canon to the games now. Ian was a little coy when first asked about it, saying he "would not argue against it" if people said the IDW comics were canon to the games now. "I have made it clear that the comics follow the lead of the games, so… as long as there's no contradictions anywhere, we're good." So, yeah, come on. The comics are canon.

2. Ian apparently pitched another idea for incorporating Sticks into the IDW series last year that was once again shot down, although he says this only makes him want to dig his heels in and try harder. (I'm assuming most of you are already aware of her shout out in Frontiers, confirming she's out there, somewhere...)

3. If Surge was a streamer, Ian thinks she would just grief people on Fortnite

4. On the October 7th, 2022 show, Ian says there is a behind-the-scenes answer for how the depiction of Silver's future in '06 can fit together with Rivals and Rush... but he can't talk about it right now.

It's hard to convey his tone through text, so just imagine he's saying all this with a big, defeated shrug:

"Here's the thing. Working on something else, I actually did get a straight answer, and it was... frustratingly simple. And, it's like, 'That works. [sigh] Okay!' No, I can't get into it - that's all private work stuff - but maybe it'll come to light eventually. But... there is an answer. And it works. And I kinda feel dumb for not thinking of it."

I honestly have no idea what this could be if it's something Ian hadn't considered, because he has talked about popular theories and readings before, such as the reading that Blaze was transported to the Sol Dimension at the end of '06. Maybe we'll hear about it in the comics, since Silver and Blaze are both back right now, or maybe they'll be the subject of a TailsTube episode.

5. Froggy is not sentient in any way he really is just a frog

6. Unrelated to Sonic, Ian was asked "who is best pony" and he said Fluttershy. My longest yeah boy ever dot jpeg

7. With Surge and Kit originally being pitched as purely synthetic beings before Sega suggested they be cyborgs instead, Ian says they would've struggled with whether or not they're even real, as opposed to the end product where they struggle with not knowing who they were before Starline modified them

8. When the female cast of Archie Sonic stopped getting drawn so busty all the time that was, in fact, a very specific editorial mandate from someone at Archie. Sega, on the other hand, has never cared.

9. Now that we're back to Classic and Modern being part of one nebulous timeline and the divide being more of a branding thing, Ian explicitly confirmed that the Classic-themed IDW Sonic comics are set in the past of the mainline IDW Sonic comics. They're set sometime after the events of Mania, and before all the Modern stuff. Just don't think too hard about it

But hey! If it's any consolation, this now means all the Classic characters like Mighty, Nack, and Honey are out there off-screen in the world of the regular comics, even if the casts are remaining separate for branding reasons for now. It also means Shadow is out there being held in a pod in a maximum security off-shore military prison during the events of all the lighthearted Classic comics lmao

10. Ian reiterates yet again that he's still pushing to try and get the Freedom Fighters back in some capacity where he can (as are others). He also says that he's pushing for them to return as a group rather than requesting individual members because he believes that's the best shot at getting any of them through Sega's approval process.

(I can't remember when the last time this came up was, but Ian has also implied that he thinks their best shot is to return as Classic characters since their one game appearance is Spinball.)

11. Ian outright confirms that the forward-looking character arcs in Frontiers are reflective of what he would like to see out of the main cast moving forward in the games. Not surprising since that's, like... the whole point of those arcs! But nice that he wants it to only be the beginning.

Ian does also say, however, that he's not guaranteed to return as the writer for future games since he's still a freelancer, but to editorialize here, I don't see why they wouldn't want him back for the next project.

12. On the subject of Amy's characterization in Frontiers, Ian personally pins her general seriousness mostly on the fact that she's the companion for the first island, where the mysterious and somber tone Sega wanted for the story is being established and Sonic is still trying to figure out what to do. He says that she'd probably have been more bubbly if she was interacting with Sonic on the second or third island, after he starts to get his bearings. I hoped this was the reason why she felt a little dry compared to Knuckles and Tails, so it's nice to hear this isn't the new direction for Amy or anything.

13. While "officially" Sage's name is just an anagram of Sega and a reference to her wisdom, Ian seems to be cheekily implying that it's also a nod to the annual Sonic Amateur Games Expo. Hell yeah.

14. When asked to clear up some Frontiers lore from the Egg Memos, Ian explicitly confirmed that some of the Ancients left the Starfall Islands and went on to devolve into the Chao as we know them today over the course of tens of thousands of years. He says, however, that this doesn't mean that Ancients and Chao are literally the same species, comparing it to the difference between humans and australopithecus. But yes, they're related.

#secret bumblekast knowledge

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bandcampfun2021 · 19 days

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Now, I know that other people have made similar connections between the Wachowski family protecting Green Hill for the past fifty years and Project Shadow but I'd like to plant my own theory about how I think Sonic the Hedgehog 3 will go down.

So, while the timeline isn't specifically clear, I was able to pinpoint exactly when Project Shadow was taking place: the 1970s. Do you know what else was taking place during the 1970s?

The Cold War. Project Shadow was built as a supersoldier to help GUN during the Cold War.

However, after GUN becomes paranoid of Gerald seeing Shadow as a member of his family rather than the weapon he made, they make the decision to invade Space Colony Ark.

And amongst the GUN soldiers is none other than Tom Wachowski's grandfather, a young, hopeful man in his late twenties to early thirties who has hopes of making the world a better place.

During the raid, Mr. Wachowski suddenly sees Project Shadow running with a shaking, pale twelve-year-old girl in a blue dress and thinking the worst, decides to go after the two, worried about the girl's safety.

However, it's only after a reckless, fatal decision that Mr. Wachowski learns the truth: Maria Robotnik really was an innocent child who was already suffering from an illness. And he took whatever future she may have had prematurely.

All because of the government's paranoia of Project Shadow.

Now disillusioned by the organization he joined to bring world peace and his dreams shattered, Mr. Wachowski makes the decision to resign from GUN and move to a small, countryside town to completely start over.

This town happens to be Green Hill, and he becomes their Sheriff over time, earning a reputation for being a likeable, loving yet protective Sheriff of their town.

However, despite becoming the Sheriff, Mr. Wachowski knows that whatever good he may do in this small town will never bring back the innocent twelve-year-old who stood defiantly in front of an escape pod.

Becoming embittered, scarred and almost broken, Mr. Wachowski only finds the mental strength to carry on would be his son (Tom's father---whom I'll call Michael). Judging by the fact that Tom seems to be in his mid-to-late thirties by the first film, Tom's father Michael would've likely been anywhere from a toddler to eight years old at most by the time GUN raided Space Colony Ark.

In the following years afterward, Mr. Wachowski never once reveals to his wife or family what actually happened at the Ark, knowing that they'd never forgive him for taking the life of an already sickly child. He only keeps a small diary that contains his thoughts over the next 50 years, thoughts of grief, regret, and horror over what he had done.

It's shortly after his grandson Tom is born that Mr. Wachowski passes away, taking his secret to the grave.

And it's not until after the events of Sonic 2, when Tom and Maddie find Mr. Wachowski's journal and the secret he's kept for all these years, forever shattering Tom's view of his grandfather.

And now, Project Shadow is coming for them (I mean, his glare during the final seconds of the second film says it all)....

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog 3 #Sonic gun #shadow the hedgehog #tom wachowski #maria robotnik #my interpretation of Sonic the Hedgehog 3

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cartoonrival · 1 year

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hii can you tell me more about that time sonic yelled at silver in a hospital (◕‿◕✿) <- imagine that thing is fluttering it’s lashes convincingly

HELLO i would love to. so silver's story in archie is that they are CONVINCED that there's a traitor amongst the original knothole freedom fighters. in archie, their future is a lot more in tact, so theyve been doing research in decrepit libraries and stuff trying to figure out what happened, and they're certain that 200 years ago, one of the freedom fighters double crossed their teammates and doomed the world.

silver tends to. jump to conclusions. a lot. and this is understandable considering everything is fucked and its scary and terrible and the weight of fixing it is on One Teenager's Shoulders. so they are wrong A Lot. they bring it up pretty much every time they see sonic, accuse rotor, etc, and the ffs find it a bit ANNOYING that someone would think one of their closest friends would turn against them, but ultimately its water under the bridge once silver realize each theory wasnt true, apologizes, they move on, silver keeps searching.

the hospital scene is sonic's final straw. ixis naugus took the throne, sally was roboticized, and antoine is in a coma. quack can't even be sure he'll wake UP. and while sonic is grieving in his room, picking at his guitar listening to amy sobbing in the living room with his parents, silver shows up and declares that they've FINALLY found the true traitor of the freedom fighters: it's antoine. and sonic fucking LOSES IT. he grabs silver by their quills and DRAGS them through the city, bursts into antoine's room where he's prone in bed, unresponsive, surrounded by flowers and balloons and well-wishing cards, and throws silver against the foot of the bed so they can see the man theyve just accused of being a traitor. really looks like he's about to walk off to join eggman doesn't he.

sonic's closest friends, the people who he has lived and fought alongside for basically his entire life, are kind of being shot down like FLIES, and here comes SILVER THE HEDGEHOG (who the hell even is this guy, where did they even come from), waltzing in and insisting that THEY know sonic's friends better than he does, so well in fact that they're sure they've been lying through their teeth to him.

that moment is veeerry much an explosion of a LOT of pent up anger and grief over the current state of things; the freedom fighters are LOSING. the people who carried sonic through some of the worst points of the war are being captured, dying, nicole was banished from the city, bunnie feels so guilty over antoine's fate that she's RUN AWAY without saying where she's going, geoffrey is back and ruining everything, its all gone to SHIT.

sonic doesnt really give a shit how well-meaning silver is, if theyre going to show up without having experienced any of the horror that sonic is currently living through and accuse the ONLY PEOPLE who have been with sonic through EVERYTHING of being BACKSTABBERS, several of whom have all but SACRIFICED THEMSELVES to save the world, then they should get fucked. to put it simply.

#asks157 #hope this is what u wanted TEEHEE! I LOVE HTIS SCENE!#sth

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birodactyloftheblog · 9 months

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HOLY SHIT. GUYS. I JUST CAME UP WITH THE MOST BANGER THEORY ABOUT SONIC DESTRUCTION.

SO. In part one, there’s a scene where Sonic and Shadow encounter a second Shadow, this one having green eyes instead of red ones.

One would assume that this extra Shadow is simply a mistake of the ai, but I propose that this is actually a genius bit of foreshadowing!

You see, in part two, it’s revealed that Shadow was actually just Daedalus in disguise, and Daedalus reveals that the real Shadow has been dead for years.

I believe that the Shadow with green eyes was actually the real Shadow, and that either Daedalus was lying about him being dead, or that that Shadow was a ghost.

Actually, him being a ghost would explain his actions- being overcome with grief, immediately apologizing to Sonic for the things he failed to do, and looking down at his hands in awe.

There’s probably some detail that I’ve forgotten about that completely ruins this theory, but whatever.

#sonic destruction #snapcube #sth #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog

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working-dreamer · 1 year

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Eggman’s Motivations and Clarifications

This might be something everyone already knows in the Sonic Frontiers fandom but can we just talk about the implications of the Egg Memos where Eggman talks about Maria?

“All that love for someone already gone when I was right there!”

Not only does this seem to imply that Eggman grew up in a family that had been holding onto Maria’s loss but he felt jealous of the love that everyone had for her.

When you consider Eggman’s goals of wanting to rule over everything and to have everyone know his name- it could imply that Eggman was (probably unintentionally) emotionally neglected because everyone was so focused on Maria and her loss.

And when he starts to open up to the idea of fatherhood to Sage and even comparing her to Maria it��s almost like he’s trying to seek out that connection he never had while also fulfilling a relationship he never received growing up.

Then there’s Sonic Adventure 2 where it’s revealed that Eggman looked up to Gerald who was either in prison or already dead by this point. Considering Eggman sees Gerald as the only other person who could understand his love of machines and technology (even though Gerald is a criminal or already dead at this point) might give the theory that Eggman’s home life wasn’t great if he saw Gerald as his hero.

So we have Robotnik as a child not understanding the impact grief can have on people and taking their mourning process personally (as of they’re talking about her specifically to ignore him) but you also have parents or family members that had been holding onto their grief for so long that they’re neglecting their child. Just a bad situation for everyone involved.

It’s no wonder that when Eggman started to open up to seeing Sage as his child that he’d begin to wonder about Maria’s impact on his life. Because now he can understand their loss and put himself in their position. If Sage is anything like Maria then he can understand why his family held onto their grief for so long… and unfortunately he later experiences the same loss when Sage sacrifices herself to save him.

It’s interesting to think about. One sentence gives more to why Eggman is a villain than anything in the games. Of course he wants power and to take over the world but we never really got to see why that is the case.

This game with that one sentence shows that Eggman is a complicated guy who was born into a family still mourning the loss of another child and because of those circumstances he felt like no one appreciated him and felt like he was under the shadow of Maria’s legacy. But if he took over the world… if he made the EggmanLand theme park… everyone will know his name! Everyone will see his accomplishments! No one will ever ignore him again!

And yet… when he met Sage his perspective of how is family treated him shifts. He is at least contemplating his growing attachment to Sage with the love his family had for Maria. And right when he was starting to really accept Sage as a daughter and gain a familial connection he may have not known he wanted… she dies. And he is alone once again.

Now he is desperate to have what he didn’t know he needed. Did you see that manic grin Eggman had when he brought Sage back in the final cutscene? How relieved he sounded, almost close to crying, when he said, “That’s my girl…” He now knows what he’s been missing- a real connection with someone he can call family and now that he brought Sage back there’s nothing anyone can do to take that away again. Now when he takes over the world it will be for her sake. Father and daughter together to rule over the world for all time and to have fun in EggmanLand whenever they want!

Sonic Frontiers gave Eggman a backstory, a clarification on his motivations, and some actual consistent nuance to his character all from one sentence hidden in a fishing mini-game.

I love it so much!

#sonic #sonic the hedgehog #sonic frontiers #sonic frontiers spoilers #sage robotnik #sage sonic #eggman #doctor eggman #dr eggman #dr robotnik #doctor robotnik #doctor ivo robotnik #dr ivo robotnik #ivo robotnik #sth

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lostplanetvoltia · 2 months

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Little AU/prediction based on Sonic Movie 3 theories I read about Shadow's potential backstory + my own ideas.

Shadow is an alien hedgehog with brown eyes (like his Prime design) who wanted to visit earth. Complications happened, he lost his rings, got captured and was transported to the land bound Ark Facility.

Earth scientists wanted to find out how his rings work, so he's forced to comply. He does later warm up to one kind researcher, Gerald Robotnik. They develop a bond and he learns that Gerald has a sick granddaughter he's worried about. He befriends Maria quickly when she visits one day. She probably wears one of those bubble suits since her immune system is very weak.

Shadow agrees to help them crack the mystery of chaos power/ring tech so he can help Maria and go home. After some experiments, they create prototype rings that can worn on his wrists, but only allows him to teleport a short distance away. The scientists somehow create chaos drive that hold a fraction of the emerald's power. They feed Shadow the drives like a chao.

Black Arms connection: maybe he's a Black Arms scout and that's why he was on Earth. Could have been blackmailed into helping them. Only after gaining appreciation for life on Earth, he told Gerald and they made plans to combat them. This was before the Ark raid.

The Ark incident: the government finds out that Gerald's team is creating a super weapon (eclipse canon), and raid the facility fearing that the scientists have turned traitor under the influence of the alien.

Shadow unleashes his new power for the first time as he watches Maria get struck down. Unfortunately the most he can do is slow time so he's stuck watching her die for a long time as the effects of the stasis pod kicks in.

The chaos energy stains his quills, and red streaks start to appear. They will grow longer every time he uses his chaos powers. Arm stripes start from his fingers and grows out. maybe one day he'll be entirely red like knuckles

Gerald in his grief uses Shadow's connection with the black arms hivemind to mess with his memories. He's later executed while Shadow remains frozen in time...

#shadow the hedgehog #sonic movie 3 #alternate universe #gerald robotnik #maria robotnik #sonic the hedgehog #my art #art #digital art #sonic cinematic universe #sonic movie 3 theory

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beevean · 2 years

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How does IDW Sonic fare as his own character?

One of the complaints that IDW fans have against IDW antis is that they focus too much on how faithful IDW Sonic is compared to Game Sonic. After all, he’s from an adaptation, he’s allowed to be different, right?

So this made me think. We should be fair, right? We should judge IDW Sonic as his own person, right? Let’s pretend IDW isn’t closely tied to the game series, let’s pretend we’re talking about an original character who just so happens to look like Sonic and have the same name. How does this Sonic fare?

Here’s an analysis of IDW Sonic without ever bringing the games up, not comparing him to his canon counterpart, but explaining why he was simply not written well as a character.

@colony-drop-program @aquillis-main @darklightheart @rollflasher

IDW Sonic’s most prominent trait, by far, is his strict adherence to his Principles: that is, that he’ll always give his enemies freedom and a second chance.

We don’t know why he decided to stick to these Principles. The most likely theory is that Eggman getting amnesia and developing a completely different personality convinced him that everyone can be good if they’re given the chance. Which doesn't make much sense and gives far too much importance to what boils down to brain damage, but okay.

The problem is, everytime Sonic applies his Principles, they either don’t work...

(Eggman looks pensive for a panel, but this moment is never brought up again)

... or they actively backfire, sometimes in a disastrous way.

He never succeeded so far.

Metal’s case is one of unique stupidity, clearly because Flynn needed a way to trigger the next plot - story before characters. Metal is still fast and has deadly claws. He hasn’t been reprogrammed. He stated a few issues prior that he’d burn the world to find Eggman. Why has Sonic suddenly decided that he would even be able to choose to abandon his primary objective? What did he think was going to happen?

Sonic himself acknowledges that his idea that “everyone has a little good in them” did nothing but harm.

And yet, he still sticks by his failing modus operandi, no matter what. Sonic doesn’t operate based on what works and what not. He’s the epitome of Honor before Reason.

Hell, Sonic eventually “realized” that freeing Metal was the right thing to do! Why?

Because Metal saved him one (1) time. Clearly the Metal Virus apocalypse was worth it. No need to think about his actions ever again.

But the real problem comes when his friends call him out on it. Obviously, the story paints them as strawmen that Sonic has to talk down in order to prove that he’s right. But Sonic... doesn’t come off as likeable. At best, he’ll ignore the worries and complaints of his close friends, refusing to admit he was every wrong even after seeing it with his own eyes...

(Tails warns him twice that it’s going to backfire. Sonic ignores him)

(Tails reiterates that Sonic didn’t think things through back then. Sonic brushes him off and even subtly places some of the responsibility on him, with a “well, achskually...” attitude. This is supposed to be his best friend and appreciated for his high intelligence.)

... but at worst, he can be downright nasty when it comes to defending himself.

Sonic made leverage on Shadow’s trauma, on the period of time where his memories got corrupted by Gerald to push him to villainy, as a gotcha. You can see in his smirk that he’s not making a logical point, he just wants to hit Shadow where it hurts. He’s pretty much saying “hey, remember that I could have killed you :) because you were a monster :) but I didn’t :) not yet :) because I’m so merciful :) be grateful i’m such a good guy :) and keep being nice :)”.

To put things in perspective, you know who else used Shadow's trauma to make him understand his perspective? Black Doom.

Espio here is being a strawman illogical, but anyone who can feel empathy can understand that this comes from a place of raw grief. He just saw his closest friends die and become monsters, and he’s lashing out - yes, he's hurting Sonic, but again, it doesn't come from malice, but pain.

Sonic could have comforted Espio and promised him that he’ll make things right. He could have apologized, not for not killing Mr. Tinker but for being a downright dumbass with Metal Sonic. He could have correctly insisted that Mr. Tinker was his own person and he did nothing to deserve death.

Instead he doubles down and twists his words to paint Espio as a merciless murderer. The problem is not that Mr. Tinker was innocent, the problem is that, well, everyone deserves a second chance! And Sonic will give it to everyone! Even Eggman! Because he’s clearly talking about him at this point.

Eggman rightfully points out how Sonic underestimated Metal. Sonic’s response? Doubling down and insisting that Eggman could “come around” and become like Mr. Tinker. Look at the phrasing too: “not until you get a clue”. He’s seriously waiting for it and urging Eggman to get a move on and rewrite his personality!

And again a few issues after! Sonic is so weird when it comes to Eggman! He says that Eggman “didn’t have a choice in staying reformed” - my pal, Eggman did not voluntarily renounce his evil ways and then was brainwashed into becoming evil, Mr. Tinker was the result of brain damage! He bonked his head too hard! Why are you basing your entire morality on this???

(Flynn is weird when it comes to amnesia, as shown by the short lived Mr. Needlemouse. Why would amnesia turn Sonic into Perpetual Bed Eyes? Whatever)

But yeah, it’s amazing how much Sonic cares about Eggman and believes in him. Especially after almost dooming the world and refusing to create an antidote out of spite - you'd think that would count as a Moral Event Horizon. Sonic is more forgiving to Eggman than he is about his friends.

But seriously, who calls themselves “compassionate”? Genuinely good people don’t praise themselves like this. Usually people who verbally insist that they’re so good and nice end up being anything like that. Just scroll for a few minutes down a pastel-themed blog on Tumblr.

And i'm not even getting into how callous he was towards Belle, a poor girl who was clearly not a threat and even helped them.

Very compassionate of him to immediately peg a strange robot (as in, one that doesn’t look like a Badnik at all - she’s made of wood, for starters) as a threat, keep attacking her even as she's not even trying to defend herself, and even being annoyed at the very thought of helping her and needing Tails to beg him to take her with them.

How is he more compassionate for Eggman and Metal? People who tried and almost succeeded to destroy the world? But a puppet girl is his limit? Why does it sound like Sonic is in love with Eggman and that's why he's so stupidly hopeful and defensive about him?

Sonic’s “compassion” is mindless and doesn’t seem to come from a genuine place, because not it’s not founded on logic, not only he didn't shown any to the innocent Belle when they met, but my man sure doesn’t seem to be that compassionate towards Surge.

Look at how self-righteous he comes off. Look at that smug smirk. Look at how he’s looking down on her. Look at how he frames it as “I want everyone to do...”, which is somewhat hypocritical to say when you’re talking about freedom.

(and if this is supposed to be from Surge’s perspective... well, it’s clever, I admit, but why the fuck are we watching this from Surge’s perspective and not Sonic, in the comic named after him? She’s not the protagonist)

Now, obviously it makes sense that Sonic is not buddy buddy with a crazy girl who started to attack him before even introducing herself. But considering how much he prides himself to be “compassionate” and “merciful”, he’s... oddly dismissive of her. She literally spelled out why she’s not interested in Sonic’s brand of freedom, because no one cares about her; Sonic just says “you’re not special”.

Then there’s Surge’s apparent death, which Sonic reacts to like this:

If Sonic didn’t speak, he would have come off as remorseful, which I like and would have emphasized Sonic’s conflicted feelings. But that speech bubble paints him as incredibly patronizing. Surge was obviously wrong and had to be stopped, but after Sonic made a whole deal about giving people freedom, why is he now judging Surge’s choice of not accepting Sonic’s mercy, especially after she explained why?

Why does Sonic believe so arrogantly that he can dispense freedom and choices? Who does he think he is?

And he did the same thing with Metal! First he says that he and Tails “gotta honor his decision” of leaving them. Then...

He gets angry at Metal for doing exactly what everyone knew was going to happen, and compares him with two radically different robots, one built over the memories of a kindhearted robot and another who betrayed Eggman because mistreated and cast aside. But it doesn’t matter! “I gave you a choice, Metal, but why didn’t you pick the one I wanted??”

You can’t pride himself on your stubborn decision to “give everyone a choice” and then get mad or judgey when they don’t act like you actually wanted them to. Why even giving them the illusion of freedom them? And again, who gave you the authority to act like this?

And when I think about it, it was the same with Eggman too! Sonic doesn’t really give him a choice! He wants him to become a person that he never was!

And finally... You know what all of this sounds like?

It sounds like Sonic doesn’t actually believe in his Principles. He just sticks to them because he sounds nice when he’s spouting them.

This makes me go back to the Metal scene. It makes no sense. Sonic should have known that it would be fruitless to ask Metal to leave Eggman’s side. Either he’s profoundly stupid... or he didn’t ask for Metal’s sake. He asked for Sonic’s own sake. To feel good about himself. To go all "well, I tried, not my fault people don't listen to me :V" and feel all superior. He did the same thing with Surge. It all comes down to wanting to feel good, important and superior. Oddly enough, it’s only Eggman that Sonic seems to genuinely believe he’s a good person at heart. because he’s in love

(of course the real reason is “lazy writing”, but I’m going with an in-universe perspective)

IDW Sonic is not a nice person. He’s stupid, doesn’t learn from his frequent mistakes, smug, rigid in his beliefs yet inconsistent, so sure that he’s always right, going on great speeches about how good and pure and merciful and compassionate he is yet barely backing that up, has quite the inflated opinion on his own importance, and is ready to put down anyone who dares to imply that he could be wrong, even using other people’s trauma to get what he wants. He’s a puritan.

Not by intention, of course. This is typically what happens with amateurish writers - think of Bella Swan from Twilight, a far worse person than Stephenie Meyer envisioned (scroll down to the “charaterization” section). It’s usually the byproduct of severe Protagonist Centered Morality, where the protagonist cannot be wrong because they’re the protagonist.

And this is why I can’t like IDW Sonic, even if I accept that he’s not the canon Sonic I was promised when the series started as a continuation from Forces. He’s not written well, and who is supposed to be simply a version of Sonic with “depth” and “moral conflicts” ended up being a frankly uncomfortable protagonist to follow.

#sonic the hedgehog #long post #fans don't look #idw sonic breakdown #idw sonic #tagging it as this because i would like other people to read it #not that you have to #but i hate strawmanning people and i sure hate when others do it #i'll stop after this i swear

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benschwartzcinematicuniverse · 9 months

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Here’s the intro post that no one asked for! Hopefully I’ll figure out how to pin it to the top 😆 💕🎉🤝🎭👻🐸📝🌱🖤🎶

Edit: adding a break because this post is so long. I ramble fyi

Scroll to the bottom for one of my favorite Ben interview answers 💕

I am leading, yet again, with the fact that I am a child of the 80s friends, so please remember that. I won’t be posting any 18+ content, but it’s always good to know who you’re talking to online. My kids are on here and I want them any everyone to stay safe. That being said, always feel free to engage. Some days I’m chatty, somedays I’m a ghost

I’m a communications major, a writer, I work retail, and I volunteer. LGBTQ+ family. Pantheist. Leftist. My birthday is on Halloween. I have ridiculously shitty music taste. I love the rare times it rains here in AZ and would happily move somewhere where it rained all the time. I love space and good conversation and my kids more than anything. I live with bouts of depression and anxiety. I also picked up grief at a young age and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone

I have no creative links to share, but I do have a private portfolio, a music blog I abandoned, and an ao3 account that hasn’t been updated in yeeears

Fun stuff

This blog is 99% Ben Schwartz content. I love him. I respect the hell out of him. And he’s just so, so silly. I cherish the things that make me smile when it feels impossible. He’s also super cute?? The other 1% is the socialism that’s on the label. More on that later.

On Schwartz:

Favorite character: Anthony Scarapiducci (don’t ask me why, I still don’t know. So much of him is such a facade. Ben said Tony “wants to show that he's not just a piece of s*** and that what he's doing matters.” I’ll do a whole post on Tony someday ILHSM

Favorite movie: I am a huge Sonic fan (since the 90s!), so those movies are huge. Standing Up, Falling Down is way up there

What made me a fan: he’s always made me laugh, but sharing some videos with my kid had me falling down the IMDb rabbit hole. It’s hard to watch so much content in a row and not fall in love with the guy. I’m also a big fan of ridiculous stories with authentic characters. Give me a good work of fiction with the most believable people running around in it. Ben is so endearing that, no matter how over the top he is, I totally buy what he’s selling every single time. Plus I’m a big improv fan and that boy can sing, so whats not to love

I also randomly started tagging “any excuse for a Josh Bath gif” and have had a few people tell me they watched the Earliest Show because of that and I cannot explain how happy that made me

On Socialism:

Socialism is the framework of a government that takes care of its people. I could break off into facets of leftism and talk theory all day - but my stance is literally “take care of each other.” The phrase “from each according to their ability, to each according to their needs” (popularized by Karl Marx) means a lot to me, as does the Spanish idiom “hoy por ti, mañana por mi” (today you, tomorrow me). I volunteer with a kindness organization (feel free to ask me which one). I have been working together among local folks to build and strengthen mutual aid hubs in our communities. I also do water distro and deliver other Heat relief supplies to unsheltered folks

This space will not be used to preach (but I am an ordained minister if you’re needing one 😆), nor will or be used much to educate. The socialist side of this page is more about being actively present in the world I believe in

Tl;dr

I’m always up for meeting new comrades. Asks are open. Feel free to chat and also definitely tell me what your favorite favorite Schwartz moment is

And finally

I’ll leave you with this moment from Ben’s Mythical Kitchen Last Meal interview that I hope makes you smile

#intro post #who am i #i love ben #nice to meet you #pinned bios #are you happy?#ben schwartz last meal

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theomnicode · 2 years

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My crazy OPM predictions Masterlist mostly past WC timeline:

Genos core will fuse with his old core/Genos ditches his old core in favour of the one Saitama brings back later

Genos helps Saitama locate his cactus and saitama fishes it out of the sea

Genos won't get multiple cores, he will use the one shiny new core to go Megaman mode

Genos core is imbued with divine energy

Genos and Kuseno get weird readings out of the core

Saitama dreams about what happened

Saitama's dream might be abstract and not a complete rendition of what happened; drowning, throwing away genos core in his hand and killing garou

Core is now a gateway to flow of all energies of the universe

Saitama gets emotional counsel from King

Genos does not like how Saitama keeps monsters as pets

Sonic finds some proof about Divine powers existing in Saitama

Genos at some point goes insane from the influence of divine energy the more he uses his new core and Kuseno dying is one of the catalysts

They accidentally travel back in time because of Saitama's emotional upsurge

Boris gets retconned out of the existence again by this time travel

Genos is revealed to be Mad cyborg and he razes everything to the ground

Saitama vs Mad Cyborg Genos

Saitama has to stop him by plunging his hand in and take out Genos core ala Garou to stop the divine power influencing him

The emotional upsurge of empathy and grief from Saitama is enough to resurrect everyone (if they died)

Kuseno sees everything that happens and as guilty as it makes him, he takes care of young Genos, for better or for the worse, to avoid a time paradox

We get to see Genos' family and young human Genos and maybe even learn his original name

Genos earrings are a memory bank in case Kuseno died to explain everything

Genos wants to self-destruct, but finds he cannot. The core is too strong to self-destruct. Saitama takes care of Genos as Kuseno has requested him to do.

Saitama and Genos patch up and Saitama asks Genos to move back to his apartment

Saitama gets fired from HA because of Blast's interjection that he's too dangerous/keeping monsters as pets

Blast and his Team arrive at some point and clash with Saitama & Team because Saitama is dangerous now.

Saitama's team consists of Genos, Fubuki, Garou and Flash. To symbolize azure dragon, vermillion bird, black tortoise and white tiger and yellow dragon in the middle.

Blast and team delve further into the concept of divine powers in the series. Saitama has solar power, Blast has gravity.

Breaking the limiter means knowing the flow of all energies in the universe because the person's inner universe is now THE universe

Blast has also broken his limiter and wears armor as artificial limiter.

Blasts teammates include ZombieMan and Saitama from the botched alternate timeline

He removes the limiter and becomes embodiment of Black hole, fights Saitama and is either immune to his divine powers or counters it in ways, just like how light cannot escape irl black holes, not even Saitama can escape the effects.

Blast at full strenght can manipulate reality, he's actually fucking strong holy shit. Because he can distort space and time itself. Einstein's theory of gravity and stuff.

Saitama is shackled or restrained somehow and his divine power nullified. He's suddenly powerless.

Blast and team attempt to remove Saitama from Earth, forcibly if he resists.

Saitama's feels cornered and shuts down when threathened with isolation and incapability of protecting his closest people, so he has a panic attack and the super-ego takes over and attempts to smite Blast and his team. Mob psycho 100 Saitama moment vr.2

Saitama displays the powers of his psyche further and shit gets really crazy

Out of body experience

Genos tries to sacrifice himself for Saitama

Genos pulls Saitama back to his senses

Genos dies to Saitama's uncontrollable divine energy

Saitama weeps and resurrects him with his divine powers

Blast and his team opinion about Saitama changes and Blast offers training to get his emotional control over his powers to actual acceptable levels

Saitama learns new Killer move

Blast recruits Saitama to fight God

Sun blade, Moon blade, God's cubes and Mirror (Yata no Kagami reference) are all revealed to have divine imbuements and represent different aspects of god's powers

Shit hits the fan and it's realised that God has been feeding on divine energy this entire time to break out. 6 months is up

Monsters are attracted to Saitama and King because of divine power

Saitama inadverently helps/helped god break out of his dimensional seal.

Either King or Genos or both perform Serious Punch legitimately at some point and Saitama's jaw drops

Saitama realises King can legitimately channel his powers

Saitama uses his new Killer move against God

God answers by getting exponentially stronger and pulls uno reverse card

God One Punches Saitama out of existence

Saitama wills himself back into existence as he has found the meaning for his existence

Saitama self-actualizes his true calling as protector of Earth

A lot of large scale fighting montage

Saitama bodily protects everyone else like he protected Fubuki from Genos and Sonic skirmish

God attempts to take control of Saitama's psyche

Mindscape stuff happens and Saitama is naked again

How Saitama's limiter got broken originally is revealed

God's true motives and identity is revealed

Saitama transcends and saves himself and God from it's empty existence and they lose their powers and Saitama gets his hair back

Happy domesticity

Genos confesses his feelings to Saitama, Saitama is shocked

Ambiguous ending

Misc: Saitama gets comically hurt by a cute thing in omake again

Edit: Divine energy confirmed yasss

#opm #one punch man #opm spoilers #opm predictions #saitama #genos #blast #opm god #kuseno #mad cyborg #endgame #masterlist #I'm just putting this down now for future references lol

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pico-digital-studios · 4 months

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Into, Across and Beyond! Cast: CD Alt End Sonic

Replaces: Ezekiel Sims / Spider-Therapist Origin: Sonic CD Alternative Ending by Lucsan 2015

"I lost my Tails and Amy, and the happy land I once inhabited... I refuse to let any more innocent souls knowingly die because of me!"

The tale of Little Planet, a rather unique journey amongst Sonic's many. Time travel, his first meeting with Amy Rose, a small planet chained over a lake... it's all pretty much there. Many Sonics have faced this on, and the usual worst possible outcome is just Robotnik escaping with one of the Time Stones, but that's easily thwarted.

However, not all Sonics got off as lucky as this. This Sonic in particular hails from a much more horrible conclusion to the tale. While he didn't give the entire planet a good future, Sonic still managed to defeat the doctor and escape his crumbling fortress. However, that's where the similarities end.

The resulting explosion from Metallic Madness, which occurred after Sonic was back on solid ground without Amy, who he thought had escaped, caused Little Planet's orbit to be knocked out of focus, which set off a deadly crash course with the lake. Sonic hightailed it the heck out of there as many critters ran to try and find shelter or escape.

The impact wiped out a LOT of life within the surrounding area and close to South Island, and Sonic felt awful that he couldn't be there for them. He navigated the labyrinths under Never Lake and the fields outside the area, and was disheartened that even the flowers couldn't last long in the ruined conditions.

He returned to Little Planet's remains after the Tornado crashed, and was forced to watch as a surviving Flicky got crushed under some unstable rubble in the Metallic Madness wreckage. However, what Sonic saw VERY shortly after almost brought him to his breaking point.

The corpses of both Tails and Amy, both having failed to escape the crash. Sonic could NOT take it anymore, yelling in sorrow to the heavens and sobbing uncontrollably from his losses, and all because he couldn't stop Little Planet's crash. At this point, he was borderline suicidal, rushing off out of Never Lake's reach as fast as he could.

A strange crystal he picked up prior, though, got the attention of this universe's Knuckles, who arrived at the remains as soon as he could. He followed the trail Sonic left behind, even coming across Robotnik's corpse in Scrap Brain, which was spin-dashed through by Sonic.

The only good news Knuckles had was that there were survivors, and that the blood trail left behind could let him get after Sonic, who was extremely close to ending his life via a pit of spikes. Fortunately, Knuckles glided right through and caught Sonic, bringing him to safety and offering a hand to hold in his troubling times.

However, Sonic was having painful hallucinations, causing him to turn tail in panic. Once he ran far enough, though, he saw a non-creepy Amy and Tails in front of him; namely, their spirits, who were encouraging him to move on and continue to grow as a person. Sonic struggled with the thought, though tearfully accepted.

From then on, Sonic (now dubbed "CD!Sonic") made a promise; he would NEVER knowingly let another life perish due to inaction or mistakes. As such, he helped the surviving critters leave Scrap Brain after the storm subsided, and scoured the globe helping stop other disasters from hurting innocent people.

He was later found by EV!Sonic and Tekno, his experience being admired for his growth as a person, and was recruited as a member of the Quill Society, his role being to help any other heroes going through their own grief with support and understanding, his own experiences helping with that.

He was more than happy to extend comfort to anyone in need, and he received support back for it. In fact, one of the big reasons on his part for refusing to abide by LM!Sonic's canon event theory is the risk of being overworked by too many future recruits suffering losses. As such, he was out on a break at the time of the big chase across Gust Planet, and was glad the theory was debunked in the end.

As you can kinda tell from his sprites, the blood on his fur had dried in, and he wasn't able to wash it off at all by the time he noticed. That said, it still worked as a way to identify him amidst the other Sonics in the multiverse.

#sonic exe #sonic the hedgehog #spider verse #sth #sonic #sonic fandom #sth au #sonic au #spider man

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lyriumflames · 10 months

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This is such old news and nobody else cares about DW but I can’t stop thinking about series 8/9 and needed to write something

I've watched series 8 and 9 a few times, but I never really comprehended the level of fear and codependency twelve and Clara have, and I can't really see it replicated with any other doctor/companian duo? In series 9 Clara's becoming more reckless and "doctor-like" which you're used to seeing, especially near the end for companions, but I can't remember any doctor feeling such a level of anxiety as twelve feels with Clara.

You don't see it as much in series 8 but it's ingrained in the overarching sotry of series 9. Every time she's out of sight or in danger he's immediately overcome with panic. In The Girl Who Died you can feel the fear the whole episode, with the brilliant quote:

"Look at you, with your eyes. Your never-giving-up. Your anger. Your kindness. And one day, the memory of that will hurt so much that I won’t be able to breathe”

I'm surprised this isn't exhibited more throughout the entire series, but the transisiton between series 8 'standoffish' doctor and series 9 'loving but absolutely terrified' doctor is wild.

Before The Flood REALLY stands out, because the doctor actually sacrifices another human being, just because he omits a theory he has and he needs to test if Clara's in danger:

Bennett: That list your ghost was saying. That’s the order in which people are going to die, isn’t it? I mean I’ve only just figured that out, but you knew that all along. Didn’t you? Moran, Pritchard, Prentis, O’Donnell. The Doctor: I thought perhaps because her ghost wasn’t there. in the future—like Prentis’ was—I thought maybe… maybe it wouldn’t happen. Maybe she stood a chance. Bennett: Yeah but you didn’t try very hard to stop her though, did you? It’s almost like you wanted to test your theory. So who’s next? The Doctor: Clara. Bennett: Yeah. Yeah, except now you’re going to do something about it, aren’t you? Yeah, ’cause it’s getting closer to you. You’ll change history to save yourself, but not to save O’Donnell. You wouldn’t save her. The Doctor: This isn’t about saving me. I’m a dead man walking. I’m changing history to save Clara.

The final few episodes are insane. A common issue with DW is when a companion dies/leaves/loses memory etc... there isn't much time to mourn, often it happens at the end of the last episode of a series and the new companion appears in the first episode of the new series.

But after Clara dies there’s Heaven sent, which is actually considered to be one of the best doctor who episodes ever (deservedly) and Hell Bent. We really get to explore the unimaginable grief through this timeloop, and it's revealed he must have been aware that if he just gave information he could have been released, but instead he purposefully spent 4.5 billion years slowly breaking through the wall over and over again, to get to Gallifrey to potentially save Clara.

4.5 billion years

The event I especially can't get over is that later on, without any remorse, the doctor SHOOTS AND KILLS a timelord, just because he tried to stop him saving Clara. Yes we know they regenerate, but it's common knowledge that regeneration isn't just healing, it changes you inside and out. The doctor, who has such a moral compass and opposes guns so heavily, shot and killed one of his own because he was in the way.

At this point he's so desperate to get Clara's heart started, one article mentioned if he had been in his right mind he would've known it wouldn't work. But through sheer desperation or blind hope he tries anyway, travelling to the end of the universe. Time is literally breaking because Clara's death is a fixed point in time but he still tries so hard to heal her.

And then it's said. Clara and the doctor being together is literally dangerous, he'll actually break time for her. One of them needs to forget the other, and while he says he doesn't know if the polarity could be reversed through the sonic I like to think that he did, and knew he couldn't carry on like this. As heartbreaking as it is for him to forget her it's almost a relief, because it seems unimaginable that he could carry on in the next episode and episodes after with the weight he seems to carry at that point.

When people ask about the closest relationship between a doctor and companion the obvious answer is ten and rose, but there's something so consuming about twelve and Clara. They weren't romantic, it wasn't a relationship, but she became his entire focus, his entire world, and he literally did everything he could just to save her.

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clementinecompendium · 10 months

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Reading June 2023

Read: The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammett Unnatural Death by Dorothy L. Sayers

Reading: Discovering Your Soul Signature: A 33-Day Path to Purpose, Passion & Joy by Panache Desai Make a Name for Yourself: 8 Steps Every Woman Needs to Create a Personal Brand Strategy for Success by Robin Fisher Roffer Poemcrazy by Susan Goldsmith Wooldridge Don't Read Poetry by Stephanie Burt The Essex Serpent: A Novel by Sarah Perry The Yellow Fairy Book ed. Andrew Lang

Series / General Interest: "Alfred Hitchcock Presents: Stories..." anthologies Dorothy L. Sayers Omnibus of Crime (series) * Jack Zipes * music theory * Tintin / Hergé

To Read: The Poisoner's Handbook ed. Raymond T. Bond Hauntings: Tales of the Supernatural ed. Henry Mazzeo A Treasury of Great Mysteries ed. Howard Haycraft & John Beecroft Folklore 101: An Accessible Introduction to Folklore by Dr. Jeana Jorgensen Fairy Tales 101: An Accessible Introduction to Fairy Tales by Dr. Jeana Jorgensen Babel by R. F. Kuang Singing School by Robert Pinsky The Sober Lush by Jardine Libaire, Amanda Ward Swedish Folktales and Legends by by Lone Thygesen Blecher, George Blecher From the Forest by Sara Maitland Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women's Anger by Soraya Chemaly The Elements of Song Craft: The Contemporary Songwriter’s Usage Guide To Writing Songs That Last by Billy Seidman Foul Lady Fortune by Chloe Gong The Hunter and Other Stories by Dashiell Hammett The Nice Girl Syndrome: Stop Being Manipulated and Abused -- and Start Standing Up for Yourself by Beverly Engel The Assertiveness Guide for Women: How to Communicate Your Needs, Set Healthy Boundaries & Transform Your Relationships by Julie de Azevedo Hanks, PhD, LCSW Of Sound Mind: How Our Brain Constructs a Meaningful Sonic World by Nina Kraus You Better Be Lightning by Andrea Gibson Permission to Feel: Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive by Marc Brackett Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief by David Kessler The Five Invitations: Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully by Frank Ostaseski What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing by Oprah Winfrey Sensitive Is the New Strong: The Power of Empaths in an Increasingly Harsh World by Anita Moorjani Rude: Stop Being Nice and Start Being Bold by Rebecca Reid The Sound Book: The Science of the Sonic Wonders of the World by Trevor Cox The Top Five Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware Trick Mirror: Reflections on Self-Delusion by Jia Tolentino

Bedtime Reading: A History of Western Philosophy by Bertrand Russell The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath by Sylvia Plath The French Revolution by Ian Davidson The Blue Fairy Book ed. Andrew Lang

#booklr #currently reading #to be read #tbr pile #book tumblr #library

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daryljdugdale · 2 years

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Glastonbury make some noise !

When my husband died I could no longer bear to listen to my favourite music not at least contemplate going to see live an artist or a band. I have managed the latter and sometimes can conquer the former. I soothed my grief by agreeing to my children holding a party to celebrate Dazzerman and it helped me prepare for the festival season. I was dreading it but ended up loving it. The love in the room shared for Daryl at the thunderbolt pub was truly a celebration of a life so lived. I rehearsed before a fixed smile but it came naturally. Before this I did not think I could cope with festivals as days in a field where time is dedicated to listening to music and enjoying life seemed wrong on so many levels. I worried that attending Glastonbury a festival that soundtracked my youth and Daryl’s and my life together maybe would be a trip too far. Rehearsal for this was the Bearded Theory festival where friends shared the anniversary of Daryl’s passing with me and supported my emotional well-being. I was brave and knew then that a trip to Glastonbury Festival 2022 maybe possible. During the five years of his illness, we found solace in the music of our early years. We had nights of drinking wine and dancing in the kitchen. There was safety in the sounds we played on Spotify , music from a time when we felt invincible, at ease and hopeful for the future. It helped us remember who we were before we had a diagnosis. Music that lifted my energy before I became jaded from watching the person I love slowly die in front of me. Glastonbury was our special sanctuary and we had several Glastonbury moments over the years where our love felt so intense and everything made such sense. Those times were magical. I think we shared at least 25 festivals together. Remarkably in May 2021 Glastonbury gave us a gift. Daryl lay in his hospital bed scared and bewildered having being told he probably would not survive the weekend. Daryl defied that but thats a story for another day. Covid may have robbed 200,000 people of a party in a Somerset field in 2021 but Micheal and Emily arranged a virtual streamed festival . We watched it in a hospital bed and we had in a way a Glastonbury moment. It brought us together out of our fear for the future to remember the past. We pulled on our memories and shared multiple tears and we held each other so tightly. Daryl was losing by now his ability to speak but our eyes met and I know he was remembering and celebrating our spiritual home with its splendour and magic and richness just like our life together. I now feel he was urging me to feel no guilt at going back to that dairy farm to pull more pints. I work Glastonbury now as the structure is helpful. Daryl believed there are no guilty pleasures and you either like something or you don’t and you should take pleasure in the things you enjoy. That virtual festival so unmemorable in many ways but was so symbolic to us in that hospital ward. We experienced another festival together. It was meant to be.

My friend Nicole last year arranged for a memorial tree to be planted for Daryl at Glastonbury festival site. It is an honour to have it there and Daryl now lives on at the festival. It’s a symbol of his life and the farm is a fabulous backdrop. The oak tree is seen as a lasting symbol for life and was planted on my birthday in October. It was personalised in May at the anniversary of that virtual festival with a plaque of remembrance giving our family and friends a place to visit and feel close to Daryl. After Daryl’s death, there was a secondary loss; I had not been able to listen to any of the music we loved. Sonic Youth and Orange juice jangled by nerves, while the Cure made me want to gouge my eyes out with desperation at the futile plight of the human condition. Grief has changed so much in me and now my taste has altered too, much like how my beloved coffee and tea suddenly started tasting like dirty dishwater when I was pregnant. We sometimes think grief is just intense sadness but it’s more complex than that; it involves the entire rebuilding of a self. I didn’t realise I would no longer want to hear any of the songs that previously defined me … and I didn’t think I would find salvation in new music either or live music. However at times I have over the past months only been able to listen to some of our music and seen live music can be beautiful. There is comfort being with lots of fans as one knowing we are there to experience a moment. I need to be in charge of this and still unplanned hearing of a tune so pertinent to Daryl can evoke such sadness it physically hurts. Unpredictable is this grief journey. At Glastonbury Festival this year newer but most importantly my best friends Jo and Simon shared our collective grief. We chose our Glasto events wisely and thankfully no gig was a repetition of anything so relevant to me and Daz. We started dancing together and I felt something other than pain. The festival was so delightful and, after such a difficult death, all I want is anything that will delight my heart and help me believe that the world is full of good things again. Working and playing there gave me deep comfort and soothed sometimes for a few hours my broken heart. I’m back home now and it’s hard ! I think after being with so many lovely people being alone in itself feels like a great loss. I have Covid too. Life will go on but it’s hard fighting the post Glastonbury blues. I know if Daryl was here he would be watching the highlights we missed and we would be dancing but I’m not sure I can deal with that alone. The loss feels bigger than ever after the highs of Glastonbury but as I know only too well as I’m getting more experienced as living with my grief that in time I will numb the pain and life goes on. I know Daryl would be proud of me for going to the festival for him and more importantly for me. He would as I do with all my heart thank my favourite festival, the Eavis family, Shelter and Avalon bars and my festival family ( especially Jo and Si) for helping me smile again. Glastonbury really is our spiritual home Mr Daryl James Dugdale and I will continue to visit and dance in your honour for as long as I can. Plus me and the kids will picnic by your tree when ever we can ❤️💛❤️💛

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