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scxrlettwxtches · 4 years

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[11:25p.m.] kiss in the bedroom + missing each other | lee minho

warnings: hints of depression, self-esteem issues, mentions of anxiety

requested: yes!

a/n: i’ll be super honest. i haven’t been feeling great these last few weeks. i’ve had a crazy amount of work piled on, and even now it’s like looming in the distance. im always stressed, and i’ve gotten max like 5 hours of sleep every night. i don’t usually like talking about my personal problems here on this blog, but this drabble was sorta my way of venting i guess, so i thought there might need to be some context. anyways, i hope it wasn’t too angsty for you, anon! as always, i love y’all so much, and i’m always here to talk if anyone needs it! <3

Minho wasn’t quite used to the feeling of missing you.

Of course, he’s longed for you before, wished that you were sitting next to him rather than only being a crackling voice over the phone, but this felt different. Normally, he was the one leaving, he was the one that had an utterly impossible schedule, the one that would drop by your shared apartment for only a few minutes before heading off again to god knows what.

He quickly realized that this feeling of being the one left behind? Yeah, he hated it with every fiber of his being.

The poor man had been utterly over the moon when he got a week off of work, and Minho had every intention to spent every single minute of it with you. Except, your schedules didn’t seem to line up this time, and for the last three days, you’ve probably been home for no more than a few hours, rushing off to your school’s practice room in preparation for a big piano competition.

Minho was bored. But more importantly, Minho missed you. He wanted to feel you lie in his arms, wanted to see your puffed up cheeks when he woke up before you and didn’t want to get out of bed. He wanted to cuddle with you on the couch along with his cats. He had created a whole checklist of things he’d wanted to do with you this vacation, and none of them have come true yet.

So now, Minho was plopped down on the couch, sulking as one of his cats sat comfortably in his lap, looking up at him.

Reaching down, his gentle fingers stroked Dori’s cheek as he mumbled, “Do you think your Mama’s going to come home today?” Dori only meowed in response, obviously just as distraught about your absence as he was.

Minho glanced over to the kitchen with a forlorn gaze. On the table sat a perfectly good meal of ddeokbokki, rice, and whatever side dishes he was capable of cooking up. He wanted to surprise you, after all. Spending all this time without you but also without anything to keep him busy made him realize just how much he needed your company, how much he longed for it. It made him marvel at the fact that you haven’t broken things off with him yet, especially since you felt this sort of unresolved longing almost on a weekly basis.

But by now, the ddeokbokki was already growing cold, and Minho felt the thorns around his heart constrict the more he waited for you, the more he could only wish that you were with him.

As if the heavens had answered his prayer, his ears suddenly perked up at the sounded of someone punching in the passcode to the apartment. Dori pushed off his lap immediately, rushing to the door along with his two other cats, and Minho wasn’t far behind. They were all eager to welcome you home.

What Minho didn’t expect was for you to open the door sopping wet, your clothes dripping water onto the doormat as you shivered, probably soaked to the bone. What scared him more, was that you seemed almost entirely oblivious to this fact, only standing at the door with your shoulders hunched.

“Y/N!” He gasped, snapping out of his stupor and rushing over to you, fluttering around you like an anxious fairy. Taking your wrist, he pulled you into the bedroom and immediately grabbed one of the towels that he’d cleaned that morning when he’d reached peak levels of loneliness.

“What were you doing walking out in the rain? You should’ve called me,” he scolded lightly as he dried your hair, bending down to do so. His hands froze midway, however, when he caught sight of the expression on your face.

There was no other way to describe it except that it chilled Minho to the very core. The utter hopelessness in your eyes, the way your cheeks seemed to be drained of their usual rosiness. Your lips were pale, and you looked the farthest from okay that he’s ever seen you.

His hands slowly came down and he placed the towel on the bed before very delicately cupping your face with his hands, “Y/N? Are you with me?” He asked, his tone cajoling and gentle.

You didn’t answer him, your gaze still unfocused as if you were looking through him, not at him. Minho was frightened, to say the least. This hasn’t ever happened before, at least not to this degree. You’ve hit slumps before, but you were always able to let it out, throw a little tantrum while Minho was happy to indulge in your rather adorable anger. But now, you looked almost like you didn’t even know how to let anything out, as if everything had been bottled up inside for so long that you were incapable of shedding yourself of whatever burden you were carrying.

“Y/N?” Your name fell out of Minho’s lips again as he grew more and more concerned by the second. He stroked your cheek with his thumb, but you were entirely unresponsive, only staring out in the distance as if you were seeing something that he couldn’t.

Minho was just about to pull out his phone and frantically call Bangchan about how to help you when you croaked out, your voice hoarse from lack of use, “I’m tired of this.”

For a brief moment, Minho felt panic like he’d never felt before. He panicked that you were referring to him, to the two of you. He panicked that he was going to lose you. He panicked that he’d never be able to walk home and see you slumped on the couch waiting for him to return.

But, he kept his cool, because he knew the last thing you needed was someone to act out of anger in any way, “Tired of what, babe?” he cooed softly, gazing into your eyes and trying to get you to look at him.

“Everything,” you spoke softly, and finally, your eyes shifted up to gaze into his. The dullness of your eyes, your normal sparkle completely extinguished, it hurt Minho more than he could even put into words.

“I’m tired of practicing. I’m tired of music. I’m tired of getting up in the morning. I’m tired of having to shoulder the weight of my entire fucking school’s expectations on my shoulders. I’m--” you choked on your words as tears begin to roll down your cheeks, and Minho pulled you into a tight hug.

Minho could feel the moment you physically let yourself melt into his embrace, and he was ready for it. He held up your weight easily (far too easily, he noted), and swept you in his arms, taking this as a cue to help you get ready for bed.

In a rather impressive feat, he helped you change out of your sopping clothes, all while making sure that he always was touching you in some way. That was something he’d discovered over the few months of dating you; you loved physical touch, craved it even more than some of his band members. Especially when you couldn’t control your anxiety and your hands would tremble ceaselessly, it was his touch that always calmed him down.

There was nothing sexual about the act as he slipped off your shirt and jeans, replacing them with his oversized t-shirt and your warm sweatpants. He pressed kisses to your lips whenever he could, understanding your rather unusual silence and taking it all in stride. It wasn’t his place to judge, only to shower you with all the love he could give you.

When he was all done, and you were as comfortable as physically possible, he swooped you into his arms, carrying you to bed.

“Minho,” you murmured his name when your head lolled against his chest, startling him as you quietly began to play with his shirt.

“Yes, babe?” He answered, setting you gently down on the bed and beginning to tuck you in the soft blankets, knowing how much you’d benefit from a decent night’s sleep.

Before he could walk away, you grabbed his sleeve, keeping him standing beside your bed as you asked softly, “Why am I never good enough?”

Minho’s eyes widened as he bent down, brushing the stray hairs away from your face, “No. No, no, darling, who told you that? Where did you hear such nonsense from?” He asked sternly, now genuinely having to struggle to hold his anger down as he wiped the falling tears from your cheeks.

“You are good enough. You’re more than enough, Y/N. You’ll always be enough, no matter if you come home with the medal or not. If you slip up on stage one day, you’ll still be enough. If you don’t get the grant that you were working for, you’ll still be enough,” Minho said softly, sitting on the bed as he comforted you in the only way he knew how.

He felt the tension that was constricting his heart start to loosen as you began to respond more to his touch, leaning your cheek into his hand, closing your eyes as you basked in his warmth, “Y/N, please,” he asked, still biting his lip with thinly veiled concern, “who put those thoughts into your head?”

Oh, how he wished it was some outside person. How he wished it was someone he could confront, someone to whom can be forced to deal with the true force of his wrath. But just from the look on your face, he knew it was more complicated than that.

Your smile was bitter as you looked him in the eye, “Myself.”

Minho sighed, having already assumed that was the case, “Baby…” Suddenly, his eyes widened, and the dots clicked in his head as he looked towards you with horror, “is that why--were you...avoiding me?”

“Not exactly,” you said slowly, “I was totally overwhelmed with practice this week, a-and I was afraid of what you might think of me when I’m running on three hours of sleep and one too many energy drinks.

You looked up at him, gently squeezing his hand, “I wasn’t trying to avoid you, but I was afraid to come home sometimes.”

Minho shook his head, feeling his heart shatter at your confession, “You don’t--you don’t have to make yourself look perfect for anyone’s sake, especially mine,” his voice trembled slightly as he leaned forward to he could rest his head on your chest, still clutching your hand tightly before he spoke not louder than a whisper, “Y/N, do you know how much I’ve missed you?”

The words struck your core, and the dam collapsed. Tears flowed freely down your cheeks as you slowly combed your hand through his hair, watching as Minho’s shoulders shook, and he held onto you as tightly as he could without hurting you. You could feel wetness drip onto your shirt as he cried into your chest, and the two of you held each other, comforting and loving each other with all of your hearts.

When all the lights in the bedroom were turned off save for a dim nightlight on the bedside table, and you were comfortably nestled in Minho’s chest, he murmured softly, his chest rumbling, “Please don’t spend all day at the school anymore. Overpractice won’t make you better.”

You hummed in acknowledgement, your eyes already closed, “I’ll try to come back before sundown every day. Deal?”

Minho huffed, not quite satisfied but knowing it was all he was going to get, “We’re not going to get to anything on my checklist as this point,” he mumbled childishly to himself.

“Checklist?” your ears perked up at that, and you tilted your head to look at him, “What checklist?”

His cheeks grew slightly pink as he explained, albeit very quietly, “I made a checklist of things I wanted to do with you this week.”

If that wasn’t the cutest thing you’ve ever heard, you didn’t know what was. Your lips quirked up into a smile as you let your arm drape around his waist as you looking up at him, “Oh? Care to tell me a few items on your list? Maybe we can knock some of them out quickly.”

Minho was silent for a moment, obviously weighing the consequences and the rewards of spilling his closely held secret. Finally, he said stubbornly, “I want to kiss you every night before going to bed.”

The request was so utterly simple, and yet it made your dulled heart flutter in a way that you didn’t know it could. Feeling warmth, Minho’s warmth and affection, slowly trickle back into your worn out body, you scooted up so your lips were just inches away from his.

“If you want, we can start that today,” you whispered, gazing into his eyes.

Never one to deny you of anything, Minho gave you a soft smile before cupping your cheek with his hand and leaning down, capturing your lips in a gentle kiss. Even in the softest of kisses, Minho had the ability to take your breath away, to make you feel more special than you ever believed you could. His lips caressed yours, gently nibbling and nipping at them until he was finally satisfied.

“I’ve missed you,” he breathed out before nuzzling his nose against your soft cheek.

“I’ve missed you, too,” you repeated the sentiment, leaning into his touch and basking in the love that he always showered you with, especially in the intimacy of the bedroom.

Eventually, he settled himself back on the bed as he pulled you back into his chest, always loving the weight of your head resting on him. It was as physically close as the two of you could be, and he could always wrap a protective arm around your waist like this.

You mindlessly drew circles over his torso as you asked, “What else is on your checklist, darling?”

Minho’s smirk went unnoticed, and he answered your question smugly, “Well, there were a few positions that I wanted to try--”

“Goodnight, Minho.”

“Hey!”

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sallyface-incorrect · 5 years

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The Struggles of Having ADHD

- Only Being able to sleep either 2 hours or 16, there’s no in between. I am legit typing this at 3:02 am because I can’t sleep and I haven’t slept that much and it sucks. Summer is for sleeping, not for stress.

- Not being able to remember basic information about someone like their name, but being able to remember that they once told you that their great great aunt had a mole on her foot the shape of Texas. True story btw, sorry Amber.

- Feeling like your being rejected if your friend can’t make it to hang out with you because of family reasons. RSD is a bitch. Like the tiniest thing can make you feel rejected. Ie, your mom telling you not to be so loud, someone asking why your sneezes are so loud, someone asking you to return their pen, etc.

- Having your medication ware off/forgetting to take it and being the most annoying bitch in the galaxy. I once went on a school trip and my meds wore off and I ended up spending the 2 hour bus ride back annoying the guy who was trying to sleep in front of me, again, I am so sorry Max.

- IDK if it’s just me but, chewing on literally everything. Bottle caps, paper, fabric, rubber (my favorite), and much more. I used to get punished all the time for chewing on things I wasn’t supposed to. Nail biting is also a big thing. And so is hair chewing.

- Being told “You’re too smart to have ADHD”. Well Susan, I have a neurological devolpmental disorder, I’m not retarded.

- Either giving too much information or not enough when in conversation, and also bringing up really irrelevant things in the conversation like, I know we’re talking about the Louisiana Perchance but can I tell you about this one time it rained and I saw a snail?

- Being botherd by loud and/or repetitive noises. Pen clicking and high pitched sirens make me want to scream. They suckkk harder then Travis wants to suck Sal’s dick. And the worse is when people think you’re weird or that you have a problem with them for asking. I understand you like to click your pen and I’m so sorry it’s just so loud...

- Being afraid of your friends rejecting you. Again, RSD is a bitch. Like you’re afraid that one day your bestie will get up and leave and never come back and it’s all your fault and you suck and ughhhhhh. You’re also afraid their s/o / parents hate you and one day they’ll convince them to just leave you.

- Medication is a godsend but it’s also problematic. The stuff that I take fucks up my sleep schedule, my appetite, and make me tired and nauseous. It also gives me headaches and belly aches :(

- Either being so hungry that you also eat everything in your fridge or being so not hungry that even the concept of food disgust you. And sometimes, you even throw up because food is so gross and you’re gross and all that gross is inside you and eww.

- Intense, powerful migraines. They get worse in the winter months. Last year I took almost a week off of school because my migraines got worse and worse and worse and I couldn’t do it.

- Having no measurement of personal space or how to physically interact with someone. I just said hi, do I hug you, do I high five you, idk? Like idk how many potential friendships I’ve fucked up because I was too handsey.

- Being really particular about the type of clothing I wear. I love LOVE long sleeve shirts/ sweatshirts/ sweaters/ hoodies and shorts. I also love to wear socks around the house. I hate HATE wearing socks with shoes though, it makes me anxious. I also hate wearing certain types of pants. I literally only have 2 - 3 pairs of pants I’ll wear because pants sometimes feel like a tent and I hate that.

- Not being able to loose weight. I’m not fat, or chubby, I mean I have abs for God’s sake! It’s just that I have thick ass thigh I h a t e and I wish I could just get rid of them but my medication prevents me from loosing all that weight. On the bright side, I can eat a lot and not gain weight either.

- Having certain little routines you can’t skip. For example, every morning I must shave my legs and brush my hair or the world will end. I also must have all the doors and windows closed or else I’m gonna scream.

- Also idk if this is a problem for anyone else but doors and windows being open. I can’t stand it, I mean please, I don’t care that you’re just coming up for 1 thing but p l e a s e for the love of g o d, close the door that leads to upstairs. Having it open just isn’t right.

- Hyperfixiating on something for soo long that you forget to do basic hygiene like shower, use the bathroom, brush your hair, brush your teeth. It can get you in really big trouble but at least the job is done.

- Having a comfort item. Like I have this stuffed lamb whose name is “Lambchop” but I call “Lambie” and I sleep with them each and every night and carry them around the house with me when I’m home and if I’m upset I NEED to cuddle them bacuse it’s the only thing that will make the world go away.

- Being insanely good at certain academics and shitty at others. For example, when I was in 5th grade I was reading at an undergrad level and had the ability to understand science concepts a senior would be learning but my math was at the level of a second graders.

- Idk how to describe it but like, doing movements half way and the forgetting about them. Like this one time I was at a piano recital and I went to reach for something and forgot what I was reaching for so I just kinda held my hand up in a grabbing motion for half a song and then forgot about it until my mom reminded me to put it down.

- Not being able to understand that people don’t want to hear about your hyperfixiation. I’ve had 2 cases of this in my life, my “ghosts are definitely really and now this is my only personality triat” and my “I’m not a weeb but Tokyo Ghoul is so good now let me tell you all about the plot.” (Tokyo Ghoul gang REPRESENT)

- Having 3 different moods, hyperactive, normal, and cold. Like you’re normal most of the time but sometimes you’re sooo hyper that your an entirely different person, or sometimes you’re sooo distant you’re a different person too.

- Not being able to identify your emotions very well. Like, this guy just told me that my dad and my bestie are asshole who deserve to die in a fire, what am I feeling? Am I sad? Angry? Scared? Do I think this is funny? Am I gonna laugh? Cry? Idk, throw hands? Or the dreaded crush. Do I have feelings for this person or do I just want to be really good friends? Do I hate them? Love them? Am I gonna cry the next time I see them? Last time we hung out was fun but idk???

- Also like I mentioned, romance/sexuality is hard. Last time I dated I dated this guy I really liked, or at least I thought I did. We dated for three months before I blew it off because he asked to put his arm around me and it was weird when I said yes. Also sexuality. Idk if this is a problem for anyone else or just my bisexual ass. Like it’s so hard and I really like guys but hey, girls are hot. And like I like guys more than girls?? Sometime it makes me feel really fake.

- Really enhanced weird hearing. I know at least 80% of my classes drama because I have superhearing and I’m a literal hearing god bow down, bitch. I can hear the smallest of sounds and such, but for some goddamn reason I can’t understand how loud I’m being.

- Extestensial nihilism and just being cool about it. Like, dude, idk if there’s a god out there? I’d like to think there’s some sort of Devine power and we have a purpose but idk, we probably don’t have a purpose. I mean, we’ll be forgotten after we die anyway unless we’re Tom Holland. And love probably doesn’t exist either and it’s only stigmatized by movies and books and media and we’re all gonna get married and be miserable for ever and such. But like does it really even matter? In the end we’re all alone so go off I guess.

- Being really sensitive to smell. Certain smells drive me through the roof. For example, I have an extreme fish allergy and even smelling the slightest hint a salmon can give me a migraine so intense I think I’m dying. Or essential oils. Ughh I hate those. They send me through the roof.

- Being able to remember something you heard in a YouTube video you watched back when you were nine but not being able to remember when you birthday is some days because it really be like that.

- Being really good with little kids. Idk if everyone is like this but I am very childish myself and little kids love me. I have at least 3 little boys in 1st - 3rd grade who think I’m their girlfriend and 8 little girls in kindergarten - 5th grade who think I’m their big sister, it’s really sweet.

- Always apologizing is a big thing for me. When I was a child I used to get in trouble for saying sorry when I did anything and that carried to teen hood. Last year at my dance class my teacher noticed this and tried to help me break my habit god bless you Christine.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk bois. ADHD sucks but I know you can do it👌🏻

#aaa i know this doesn’t fit this blog’s aesthetic #i just felt like making it #sorry guys #not a quote #adhd #add #adhd rsd #adhd inattentive #adhd awareness #tw mental health #mental health

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fandomdancer · 4 years

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1, 7, 22, 30, 40, 46, 49

Original post below so you can see the list. I am answering these questions but if you are interested in hearing more, I can answer more!

1: What does your character’s name mean? Did you pick it for the symbolism, or did you just like the way it sounded?

I have two OCs right now I could answer this for, so I’ll actually answer for both.

My first OC is Talia Talbot. I was brainstorming names and just wanted something fun and carefree-sounding. The first thing that popped into my head was ‘Tabby’ with ‘Tabitha’ as the full name. My brain just decided it didn’t want the ‘kitty cat’ subtext and I started thinking of names with the same rhythm. ‘Tally’ came next, with ‘Talia’ as the full name, and I got stuck on it. As for ‘Talbot’ as the last name, I was literally just thinking of last names that felt right and and ‘Talbot’ just sort of popped out of my mouth. So really - ‘Tally’ was kind of a random name that had the right rhythm and it stuck. ‘Talia’ itself means ‘gentle dew from heaven/by the water’ which is a soft and beautiful meaning and kind of fits her personality. She is the steady person in her relationships, the listener, the supporter.

The second OC is Roslyn and to be honest I haven’t decided on her last name yet. My original idea for the character was a rich girl with an aristocratic name. I asked my girlfriend for help and she replied: “Roslyn” without hesitation. I don’t usually choose the first name that comes to mind but it sounded so absolutely perfect, the only thing I asked was: “Roslyn or Rosalyn?” She said: “Roslyn” and that was that. So...I don’t have her maiden name, but that is how I got Roslyn Thawne (yep...you read that right). The meaning of her name is ‘gentle horse/rose’ and while I know the story she is involved in, I’m not sure if the meaning of her name fits.

7: Is there a catchphrase or sound that they tend to make a lot (likely without being aware of it)?

Tally tries to keep her swearing down. How does she do it? Usually by muttering: “For the love of....” without actually finishing the sentence. Her frustration level can be determined by how loud, soft, fast, or slow she says it!

Roslyn is a big fan of asking questions without actually asking them. She’ll flatten the end of a sentence so she isn’t actually making a questioning sound, but usually the sound that comes out is pretty sarcastic. “Really...” is something she’ll say, usually to let someone know they’re going too far, or doing something completely ridiculous.

22: What kind of tattoos, piercings, birthmarks, freckles, and other such unique physical features do they have?

Tally and her best friend Ren (short for Renault...but only she can call him that ;) ) have matching tattoos. I know they have but honestly I don’t know what they are yet haha. (They’re both still in development)

Roslyn is even less developed so I’m not sure of any distinguishing characteristics. I know she has a smattering of freckles on her face and her significant other (Eobard) does like to kiss them when he feels affectionate.

30: When it comes to the arts (music, film, theater, etc), what does your character like?

Tally loves music. She listens to most kinds from all decades, from Billie Holiday and Kay Starr to Elvis Presley and The Runaways, to the Bangles and the Backstreet Boys. She does prefer songs with lyrics and doesn’t spend a lot of time in the classical or smooth jazz range. She does have a solid appreciation for movie scores. She has a tendency to annoy the Wells (EoWells and Harry both) by blasting classic rock when she’s burying herself in work, but Cisco will often drop by for an impromptu dance party. Film wise - she gets along like a house on fire with Cisco Ramon so the two of them share their love of classic - and not-so-classic - films. She’ll quote scenes from Die Hard with him over the course of a day, and then flop down with Buster Keaton and a bowl of popcorn in her off hours. She isn’t big on going to the theatre for plays but will sneak over if it’s a musical or a dance show (like Riverdance).

Roslyn received piano lessons at a young age (which she eventually traded for violin lessons), and is definitely quieter than Tally when it comes to musical tastes. She enjoys film scores, orchestral or symphonic music, and even band music when she can get to it. She considers opera to be an impressive vocal achievement but doesn’t listen to it on a regular basis (unless Eobard’s listening and letting it play in the house). Roslyn doesn’t quite enjoy sitting and watching many films or plays or television but will do it occasionally. She prefers to be outside, enjoying what nature she can.

40: Does your OC have any guilty pleasures they enjoy? Hobbies, past times, music, etc that they wouldn’t want known by others?

I actually can answer this for Ren, not Tally or Roslyn (because I just don’t know yet). Ren’s guilty pleasure is comedies. He was a more casual fellow before the catastrophe that ripped him and Tally apart, but later he comes off as very grumpy and dark. No one would suspect his favorite actor is Dan Aykroyd and he secretly loves to watch Addams Family and Get Smart and Max Headroom.

46: What is some random affectionate thing that your character always does to their lover?

Tally will blow kisses at Ren randomly. She doesn’t do it during serious moments like when they’re at work, but relaxing, or even at a dinner party, she’ll send one when she thinks no one is looking (however, someone often sees).

Roslyn knows Eobard isn’t huge on contact so she adapts the Vulcan affectionate gesture between Sarek and Amanda, and usually keeps two fingers in contact with a part of him when there is need for support or when her heart is full. Eobard will at times be more comfortable with contact, and instead of letting her rest her fingers on him he’ll take her hand or place his hand on her opposite waist. When the two of them are truly alone they are in much more prolonged contact with each other but in most situations it’s just the two fingers.

49: What is something that your character has nightmares about? Are these frequent? Do they heavily affect your character’s mood?

Tally consistently dreams about the final moments of her Earth - Earth-15. As she spends more time on Earth-1, the dreams are less frequent but they still happen. They heavily affect her mood at first but again, over time, the effect lessens. She never truly stops being affected by them and they never truly stop. Sometime she dreams about what actually happened, and sometimes her mind makes up alternate. She has woken with a start, woken normally but disturbed, woken screaming, woken crying. In a few short hours, she lost everyone and everything but the clothes on her back, and she is scarred from that for the rest of her life.

Roslyn doesn’t start to really have nightmares until she sees how far Eobard is falling into his obsession with The Flash. She dreams often of him turning on them, or leaving them. Little does she know their daughter Melody also dreams of him killing them. This is an additional strain on her marriage to him, particularly when he begins to say and do things she thought she had only dreamed. She is watching her husband and the love of her life descend into madness and she is helpless to stop it.

Original Post:

Get to know my character

Reblog this so your followers can spam your ask box. Have fun! ♥

01. What does your character’s name mean? Did you pick it for the symbolism, or did you just like the way it sounded? 02. What is one of your character’s biggest insecurities? Are they able to hide it easily or can others easily exploit this weakness? 03. What would be their favorite physical trait about themselves? 04. What are their favorite traits about their lover? (one psychological and one physical) 05. Are they sexually confident or more of the shy type? 06. Do they have any hobbies that their lover finds unusual, odd, or otherwise annoying? 07. Is there a catchphrase or sound that they tend to make a lot (likely without being aware of it)? 08. What is, perhaps, their biggest flaw? Are they aware of this or oblivious to it? 09. Do they have a favorite season? What about a favorite holiday? 10. Is your character more feminine or masculine? 11. What is something that would make your character fly into a rage? 12. Is there some particular talent, skill, or attribute that they simply could not give up? 13. What are your character’s sleeping habits? Heavy or light sleeper? Blanket stealer? One that always rolls onto the floor? Pushes their lover onto the floor? Sleep talker or walker? 14. Do they live alone or with family? How do they feel about their family/roommates? 15. Is there a certain person in this world that they cannot stand? The very mention of this person’s name makes them tremble with anger or fear. 16. Is your character the athletic type or more of a couch potato? What are some sports/games that they like? 17. Does your character have dreams of getting married and/or having children? 18. What kind of home would they want to live in? Where would they place this abode? 19. Would your character be the kind to get into fights? (physical or verbal) Would they be a good fighter or cave in rather easily? 20. Does your character like animals? What are some of their favorite animals? Would they want pets? What about mythological creatures? 21. What is one of your character’s biggest fears? How would they react when dealing with this fear? 22. What kind of tattoos, piercings, birthmarks, freckles, and other such unique physical features do they have? 23. What is your character like when it comes to school? What subjects are they good/bad at? Do they get in trouble a lot or are well behaved? 24. In their own words, how would your character describe what their lover is like? 25. Is there something traumatic from your character’s past that greatly affects them even to this day? 26. What is their lover like sexually? How do they feel about their lover’s quirks, needs, etc? 27. If your character was going to get arrested, what would be the most likely reason for it? 28. If your character became a celebrity, what would they be famous for? 29. What is one of the most courageous things your character has ever done for a loved one? 30. When it comes to the arts (music, film, theater, etc), what does your character like? 31. Would your character be the kind capable of killing? Would they enjoy killing or only use it when necessary or, perhaps, refuse to kill no matter what? 32. If your character’s lover offered to take them out on a dream date, what would they want to do? 33. If your character wanted to be alone, where would they go? 34. Does your character have favorite foods? (breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, snacks, etc) 35. Is your character afraid of death? If they got to choose how to die, how would they want to go? 36. Does your character have any medical conditions? Are they serious or minor? Do they affect their day to day life? 37. What are some of your character’s pet peeves? What are some things that annoy them or disgust them? 38. What kind of weather does your character like? Cloudy skies, rainy days, sunshine, etc? 39. When people look at your character, is there some assumption they might make about them just by appearance? Is that assumption correct? 40. Does your OC have any guilty pleasures they enjoy? Hobbies, past times, music, etc that they wouldn’t want known by others? 41. Does your character’s family affect your character in any way? 42. Is there anything in your character’s past that they regret, haunts them, or they wish they could change? 43. Does your character have a switch that changes aspects of their personality whether they are around friends, family, etc. Is there someone who gets to see their true self? 44. Is there a particular event that would emotionally devastate your character? 45. Is your character the kind to hide their true emotions or do they wear their heart on their sleeve?

46. What is some random affectionate thing that your character always does to their lover? 47. Is your character outgoing? Would they be the leader of the friend group, or the quiet one that gets dragged along? 48. Is there anything in particular that would ignite your character’s jealousy? Or does your character not get envious? 49. What is something that your character has nightmares about? Are these frequent? Do they heavily affect your character’s mood? 50. If your character confessed love to their crush, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc, what would they say?

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raleightatum · 7 years

Text

Lorde Wrote the Perfect Party Album

On “Liability,” the standout piano ballad halfway through Melodrama, Lorde (the stage name of 20 year-old Ella Yelich-O'Connor) describes coming home from a breakup and falling into the arms of the only love she’s got left: herself. The interior design of Lorde’s possibly-autobiographical home in Auckland is up for debate, but as for me, I see her returning to an older Victorian number on a quiet street, old married couples and quiet loners up and down the aisle of row houses, with huge tall windows and open, creaky wood floors. I feel good about my vision of Lorde’s place, and go ahead and figure out yours while you can, because this is where the 20 year-old pop star keeps you for this dazzling forty-minute documentary of an album. A stranger walking by, looking up just long enough to catch a glimpse of a girl dancing alone, caressing her cheek, crying, screaming, partying, dancing -- the album produced as if we were hearing the music as sidewalk passersby, with Lorde playing the piano by herself, alone in the dark.

A quick runthrough of Lorde’s second studio album -- or a singles-heavy radio jaunt -- might lead you to believe that Lorde has a firm grasp on the age-old dilemma for twentysomething introverts: should I stay in or go out? The album’s first two singles (“Green Light” and “Liability”) offer decisive polarities: the former rages, the latter hunkers down. But on Melodrama, she does plenty of both, her possibly-Victorian home working as a hub for parties, Uber pickups, and morning cleanups, hallowed ground for the holy and the horror. Lorde seems not to have mastered this internal yanking and pulling of partying or not, but instead chases her whims to their full extents -- parties and painful piano ballads.

Home is ostensibly where we are the safest. We have, after all, the keys to our homes, the alarm code, blinds over the windows. The paintings and throw pillows and television and liquor cabinet are all arrayed just so to protect us -- we have, those of us without roommates, chosen this particular setup because it makes us feel some measure of safety. It is odd, then, to remember that home is where we encounter most starkly the terror, the horror, and the fucking melodrama that Lorde sings so earnestly about. When we’ve just been told that we’re too much, or perhaps not enough, and it all ends, we don’t go file into the queue at Blue Bottle, wander through the aisles at a bookstore, or fling ourselves onto a barstool at a pub (or at least we don’t at first): we collapse into our beds, or onto linoleum kitchen floors, or wilt into the carpet right in front of the stereo speakers. Home is, most precisely, where the horror is. Home is where we scream, where we cry; we slam the doors in our home, break glass in our home, where we kick people out and drag people in.

On Melodrama, Lorde lets us all into her home.

The album opens with Lorde hopping into a friend’s car, flying through a “Green Light,” doing her makeup on the way to a bar. The track is the first single, and it’s a racing, chanting thing that pulls us right back into the Lorde universe: jaunty choruses and tongue-only-slightly-in-cheek wishes for ill upon exes (“those great whites they have big teeth / hope they bite you”), but a kind of hopeful fist-pumping that’s a perfect way to start the night.

Whatever happens after Lorde sails through those green lights is documented on Melodrama, and ends, well, perfectly, with “Perfect Places,” as if the entirety of the album is a day in the life of Lorde.

“Sober” brings the party back to the house, and there’s dancing and drinks and an appropriately-in-her-head Lorde, wanting just to dance out the many questions (“can we keep up with the ruse?”; “what will we do when we’re sober?”). Lorde knows “in the morning (she’ll) be dancing with the heartache,” and that her efforts to pretend she doesn’t care are false, but “Sober,” and Melodrama as a whole, and life on the earth as a human, has this inevitability, this beating presence, this insistence on taking life as it comes, this refusal to confuse self-deprecation for self-shame. Lorde knows it’s time to dance with the truth -- but sometimes the truth is the music's too loud and the conversation will have to wait until the morning.

“Homemade Dynamite” feels like a beer run, a keep-the-party-going callback to “Royals,” but one that drops us off at “The Louvre” and “Liability,” back at the doorstep of the house, suddenly gone quiet, our singer sobered up and gone wistful alone in her living room scattered with plastic cups. These two tracks feel like Lorde at her wisest, her wittiest (“they’ll hang us in the Louvre / down the back, but who cares / still the Louvre,” which pulled me straight to Lonely Island’s “doesn’t matter had sex!” from, well, “I Just Had Sex”), her most willing to share. “The Louvre’s” muffled, spacy chorus is Lorde reminding herself to “broadcast the boom, boom” an earnest self-call to vulnerability, so that others might quietly dance too. This song, along with its partner, “Liability,” are the songs that you or I or Lorde might have been dancing to alone, a lamp and a couple candles lit, strangers looking in at these private moments of cracking, celebration, and devastating beauty. “The Louvre” ends with this gorgeous ninety second guitar plodding, and the raw “Liability” might as well be a live video of Lorde writing this song in her bedroom at four in the morning, spilling with all sorts of beautiful moments, the stuttering “e-na-na-na-everyone” from the chorus, the scooping “then they get bored of me” in the second verse, the v-sound at the end of the last “get you wild make you leave” that I’ve listened to on three different sets of headphones to figure out if the crackling is my speakers, her mic, or (my hope), a heaving, crying spit of saliva that they left in. The dead of night in a Lorde album is a vulnerable place to be.

In the dead of night, if Lorde can possibly fall asleep, maybe she dreams, and “Hard Feelings/Loveless” is that dream, a montage, a remembrance, a drifting through those nothing moments in relationships that turn out to be everything -- grocery shopping, sitting in a running car in front of your house. Lorde is having what they call hard feelings, and singing about it over and over in the chorus, and it does to the listener what it does when you, say, repeat the word “cow” over and over (cow, cow, COW, cow? It’s a funny word), repeating something enough times to question it, to reframe it, so that it starts to sound weird and thus can actually be listened to and heard for what it is: we say we’ve got hard feelings when we’re pissed off at someone, and so that becomes the definition (hard feelings, n: the act of being pissed off at someone). But Lorde’s insistence on speaking these hard feelings remind us that this is no compound word, no standalone term: hard modifies feelings. Feelings are difficult. The swooping, grating metallic strings of the bridge whoosh and crash through to dismantle the otherwise safe song, a twisting, beautiful interlude that is itself hard to listen to, hard to feel.

The semi-song “Loveless” that emerges after the industrial interlude of “Hard Feelings” is, at first, an unusual tack-on to the original song, a playful, childlike chant of “l-o-v-e-l-e-s-s” and a corner-of-the-mouth smile that says “we’re all fucking with our lover’s heads,” a mouth that you’re gonna wanna tape shut (“Writer In the Dark” echoes this warning to not fuck around with someone who’s got a microphone and a following) this playful grinning and fucking-with just one of the many ways Lorde is able to get through the night alone, but after the grins and games of this latenight memory, we find our impure heroine back at home, the house lights on, cleaning up the champagne glasses.

“Sober II (Melodrama)” is a harsh, startingly gorgeous track, as if Lorde, Max Richter, and The Weeknd threw an afterparty in the same top-floor motel suite where Frank Ocean sang about “Pyramids.” Part One of the song (“Sober”) wonders what we’ll do when we’re sober, and concludes we’ll be with heartache in the morning. But “Sober II (Melodrama)” doesn’t wait until then, jolting you from sickly sweet hungover sleep, hurling construction crew lights on the terror and trauma, the carnage of the night before. This song is bittersweet, and it goes.

Melodrama, unlike many of its contemporaries, resists the urge to indulge itself, and (if you just go ahead and count “Hard Feelings/Loveless” as two songs like I think you should) features none of the epic nine-minute tracks we’ve come to expect. Many of the songs (“Liability,” and “Sober II (Melodrama),” perhaps) stop even shorter of what you feel like you want it to be, as Lorde gets us wild and makes us leave to the next song. But then, there in the lazy long afternoon of the album, in a regathering of hope after the traumatic night before, Melodrama goes there, on two otherwise perfectly-fine songs, “Writer In the Dark” and “Supercut,” the latter pushing and pulling (Lorde’s raw vocal singing of the chorus from what sounds to be, like, the floor of her bathroom) into this Eluvium-style stargazy instrumental. It’s in those moments that the album feels tremendous -- the cutting, dazzling touches on songs you weren’t expecting.

I've heard Andy Greenwald, host of The Ringer’s “The Watch” podcast, say that television show finales tell us what the show was about. And in this melodramatic mini-documentary, Lorde tells us, quite explicitly, what the album is about in the album’s penultimate and final songs.

Throughout our night together, Lorde clearly grapples with her impulses, to stay in or go out, to scream or to cry, to dance or to talk it out, where she experiences these lurching yanks between parties and the nights alone that are all too familiar to those of us who have survived life to this point. In the reprise to “Liability,” the singer posits a been-to-therapy bit of insight: “maybe all this is the party.” The part where you pace around with the curtains drawn, drinking a bottle of wine by yourself, the part where your best friend comes over to help you clean up the mess of the night before, the tears and the cries -- maybe all this is the party.

A friend who toured with the indie band mewithoutYou once witnessed two girls approach Aaron, mewithoutYou’s singer, after a show and ask him to pray. My friend said Aaron kind of looked around, bemused, his arms kind of stretching as if to encompass everything around him, and said, “What do you think we’re doing here?” I’d like to think mewithoutYou and Lorde might agree: maybe all this is the party.

Lorde might humbly or courteously resist my label, but the album ends with a perfect song. “Perfect Places” is a last-night-in-town rebirth of the party, a kind of partying that has taken what it’s learned from the night before and is able to put things in context, to understand, because partying without a care in the world (or without an understanding of why we’re partying) is fun, but understanding the cocktail of reasons why you might want to spend your night off your face and throwing your head back and dancing anyway: there is some definite mewithoutYou, maybe-all-this-is-the-party wisdom and beauty to that.

Lorde’s grand finale is a wistful creed for those who would seek out the rooftop parties, the magical 3-a.m.-on-the-porch-conversations, the perfectly blissed-out moments (“Can we pray with you, Aaron?”) above all else, the longing for parties and perfect places when, well, it’s all the party. Lorde herself hopped onto the Genius annotation of the song and said that this dance-through-the-ambiguity, “can’t stand to be alone” partying is what Melodrama is about: “I’m partying so much because I’m just dreading sitting at home by myself hearing my thoughts hit the walls.” And so Lorde brings us the good word that thoughts hitting the walls are a party just like headstands banging the walls are too (“Hooking up...is fun but sad sometimes too!”).

The song dances along, takes someone home, and takes off all their clothes, as if the song was a regathering of the album, a recap of the long night we’ve just spent with Lorde. If all this is a party, we’ve all been invited, all of us young and ashamed, hardly able to stand being alone, and so we all dance ahead, “trying to find these perfect places.”

“What the fuck are perfect places, anyway?” Lorde asks, and we remember the dashed champagne glasses, the muted dancing alone, our view from the quiet sidewalk, the kitchen floor collapsing, the post-mortem ride home after a breakup, Lorde’s Melodrama, her Victorian house of horrors. This is where, she’ll tell us, we are anything but safe. But it might just be the perfect place for a party.

#lorde #melodrama

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has-a-crisis · 7 years

Note

All of the asks bc I'm a creepy stalker and I'm not even ashamed of it :D

SORRY I AM JUST GETTING TO THIS OOPS ILY

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?

Spotify is my the source of my life power even though it can be very annoying

is your room messy or clean?

mostly messy

what color are your eyes?

greeeeeeeen

do you like your name? why?

nah m8 but I like a lot of the nicknames that you can make out of it

what is your relationship status?

single and ready to mingle

describe your personality in 3 words or less

memes, existencialist, shit

what color hair do you have?

normally light brown but I dyed it really dark brown/black

what kind of car do you drive? color?

i am too young to drive

where do you shop?

in shops (mostly online or bershka or things like h

how would you describe your style?

mostly black and trying not at all or too hard

favorite social media account

@vdwthmp WINKWINK

what size bed do you have?

twin sized and king sized, one at home and one at my father’s house

any siblings?

i have one brother and three step sisters

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

ICELAND I WANT TO LIVE IN ICELAND

SOMEONE GO WITH ME TO ICELAND

favorite snapchat filter?

the toast filter, it’s seriously underrated

favorite makeup brand(s)

cruelty free ones

how many times a week do you shower?

like five to seven

favorite tv show?

I don’t really watch tv shows, but I really like things like American Horror Story (old seasons though, new ones aren’t that good) and Scream Queens

how tall are you?

I am like 181 cm = Very Tall

sandals or sneakers?

def sneakers

do you go to the gym?

......................................good one

describe your dream date

BOIIIII this is hard

we would go around bookshops together and hold hands and then when it starts raining we would find a random coffee house and spend a few hours there drinking good coffee and laughing and we’d be very silly and we’d be out into the night and he would hug me a lot and shit

i am so fucking lonely

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

like two stickers and some dirt

what color socks are you wearing?

nO SOCKS

how many pillows do you sleep with?

27 (i wish i was kidding)

do you have a job? what do you do?

kind of but not really i work just few nights a month

how many friends do you have?

1 - @vdwthmp

whats the worst thing you have ever done?

I mean, you know, I have to confess, when me and my friends sort of used to run through the fields of wheat, the farmers weren’t too pleased about that.

if you get that joke i automatically love you k

whats your favorite candle scent?

probably like cinnamon or firewood or something like that (i LOVE candles though so any candle in the world i will love)

3 favorite boy names

Elliot, Max, Alex

3 favorite girl names

Maya (I may be a bit biased though), Emma, Nina

who is your celebrity crush?

Evan Peters

favorite movie?

THE BREAKFAST CLUB

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?

i read a lot a lot a lot and my favourite book is Challenger Deep by Neal Shusterman

money or brains?

brains? obviously

do you have a nickname? what is it?

i have a million nicknames and if you come up with one i will LOVE YOU

how many times have you been to the hospital?

like three, I am like never sick

top 10 favorite songs

there’s no way I’ll be able to do this. Let’s just say Fall Away by twenty one pilots, Skinny by Filter and The Sea Is A Good Place To Think Of The Future by Los Campesinos! (the longest title in the world) would be up there

do you take any medications daily?

yup, for my blood pressure

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

half oily half dry

what is your biggest fear?

not being good enough for anyone or anything MOVING ON

how many kids do you want?

one or two

whats your go to hair style?

no hair style

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)

i live in a tiny flat

who is your role model?

I don’t think I have one, I just have people that motivate me a lot

what was the last compliment you received?

can’t remember, probably something from @vdwthmp because she is the only person who compliments men lol

what was the last text you sent?

i texted my mom what grades I will have at the end of this school year because she is away

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

around six?

what is your dream car?

don’t have one, it just has to be big

opinion on smoking?

as long as you’re not addicted and it’s only occasional? i don’t know really, everyone knows it’s harmful so just do your own thing, i don’t mind people smoking around me though or anything

do you go to college?

not yet but i hope i will in the future, i really want to

what is your dream job?

a manager in some sort of big company

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?

suburbs

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?

yeah, is there anyone who doesn¨t though

do you have freckles?

only in summer and they are barely visible, plus i wear makeup and that covers them up

do you smile for pictures?

yes but not with teeth because i have terrible teeth

how many pictures do you have on your phone?

1742, because my phone is pretty new so not many

have you ever peed in the woods?

probably

do you still watch cartoons?

not really but if I am feeling down some fairly odd parents is always good ya know

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?

I am vegan so neither sorryyyyyyyyy

Favorite dipping sauce?

BBQ or Curry

what do you wear to bed?

an oversized shirt

have you ever won a spelling bee?

OUTSIDE OF AMERICA WE DON’T HAVE THOSE, PEOPLE

what are your hobbies?

music and art and READING and a million other things

can you draw?

i love drawing buut nooooooooooooooooooooooooope

do you play an instrument?

i play the piano (terribly) and the ukulele (even worse)

what was the last concert you saw?

my friend’s band, i am also seeing them in two days so ayyyy

tea or coffee?

BOTH

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

i have never been to dunkin donuts and i don’t really like starbucks sooo

do you want to get married?

very much but i don’t think anyone will ever love me like that

what is your crush’s first and last initial?

i don’t really have a crush

are you going to change your last name when you get married?

i will but i don’t think anyone will ever love me like that

what color looks best on you?

black, in my opinion

do you miss anyone right now?

can you miss anyone you’ve never met irl lol

do you sleep with your door open or closed?

closed??? what sort of monster sleeps with their door open

do you believe in ghosts?

nah

what is your biggest pet peeve?

PEOPLE BEING LATE

or flip flops

last person you called

my dad

favorite ice cream flavor?

cookies and cream

regular oreos or golden oreos?

regular boi

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

chocolate, everything chocolate is better

what shirt are you wearing?

a plain black one

what is your phone background?

a twenty one pilots lyric edit

are you outgoing or shy?

shy but loud

do you like it when people play with your hair?

yES

do you like your neighbors?

yeah they are lovelyyyyyy

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

yes, and both

last thing you ate?

does a smoothie count as eating? that

favorite lyrics right now

can’t pick, probably the entirety of Paramore’s Tell Me It’s Okay

summer or winter?

WINTER

day or night?

NIGHT

dark, milk, or white chocolate?

dark chocolate is the best chocolate and i will fight anyone who dissagrees

favorite month?

october

what is your zodiac sign

taurus but it doesn’t fit me at all

who was the last person you cried in front of?

my teacher lol

THANK YOU FOR ASKING

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toldnews-blog · 5 years

Photo

New Post has been published on https://toldnews.com/technology/entertainment/watch-max-greenfields-daughter-directs-the-show/

WATCH: Max Greenfield's daughter directs the show

Transcript for Max Greenfield’s daughter directs the show

You know our next guest from his days of playing the very funny Schmidt on “New girl.” Now he stars on a new hit comedy, “Neighborhood.” Let’s take a look. That’s for inviting me. Grover is at a sleep over or else I wouldn’t have been able to come. How convenient. You going to get in on some of this, Calvin. It’s in season. Fortunately so is pizza. Man, this is great. Nothing like a bunch of guys getting together to watch a big fight. Whoa, I almost just double dipped. Please welcome the very funny max Greenfield. ??? So nice to meet you. Thanks for being here. Good to see you, man. Great to see you, man. Am I right here? Right next to Sara. How you doing? Great. How are you? Good. We were talking about super bowls. You live in L.A. The rams are in the super bowl. Who you rooting for? I’m from New York. I’ve always been a giants fan. Thank you. That was the right thing to say, max. That was a good way to start. I felt that way. I don’t know. Obviously I don’t want to see Tom Brady win. Then he did that rally or press conference and he was screaming at all of new England. I think it was confusing to me in a way because you’re like you’re still so mad. It was honestly on several levels very impressive. I went, you know what, give it to him. He still wants it this much. I would be terrified if I had to play him after that. I agree. I’m amazed how much fire he still has for it. At some point you think I’m good. I’ve done it. I’m all right. No. He’s still so mad. Any cheer is going to get worse so give it to him. I think so. Let him win for the next three years. You’re the best ever. We get it. Then we’ll move on. You have two kids. How old are they and what are they into? We have a 9-year-old lily who is with me somewhere. Great parenting. That’s okay. She’s around here somewhere. If you see her, let us know. She’s traveling somewhere around. There she is. I think she just wrapped the segment. You guys gave her a job. She just got here, but I like her style. We just started. Is she like that at all your jobs? Yes. She visits on the set of “The neighborhood.” She comes to all the tape nights. It’s nice. We have these wonderful tape nights. We rehearse throughout the week. We’re well-prepared at that point. The cast and crew of this show are so incredible and wonderful people. We have so much fun. It’s nice you can include your kids. Lily has a great time. She gets to see sort of what dad does and it’s great. She seems to really enjoy you. We can tell who’s running the house. You mentioned the show and the cast. One of my favorite people and one of my great friends who was here, Tashina Arnold, she’s amazing. A big congratulations to you and the rest of the cast. You just got the news you got picked up for season two. Congratulations, man. I should say this. We wrapped on Tuesday night and we came out. Before we were leaving Tashina was like where are you going? I said I’m going to New York. She said what shows are you doing? I told her. She said say my name. Tashina, we love you. Tashina Arnold, we’re saying your name proudly. We miss you and wish you were here with us. We totally do. Somewhat. Every time I hang out with Tashina I always pick up the bill. She’s my club wife. He does. That’s what I call her. That was a self-appointed thing. I hear you made a new year’s resolution to play the guitar. How is that going? I made this resolution every year. At one point it was the piano. We did a scene on the show where I was holding the guitar. We rehearse all week. Our prop master Gordy is an incredible guitar player. He was playing off stage. I was like hey, man, I don’t want to fake it. Can you show me something? For a week I was playing one cord. Then I was thinking I’m pretty good at this. You’re working your way through the band. I’ve started and I got deeply obsessed with it. So you’re good. I didn’t say that. I hear you’re playing the piano. No. I want to learn to play the piano. This isn’t about me. It’s about you. It’s about you and the guitar. I don’t think so. We have this new segment called how bad are you starring max Greenfield. Play us out, max. Play us out to the break. This is a nice guitar. Play us out, max. Can I keep this? See your daughter doing this. Now I’m deeply nervous. Play anything. That’s soothing. You can catch “The neighborhood” on CBS Monday nights at 8:00 P.M. Max Greenfield on the guitar taking us out. Max, thank you very much. ??? I want to sing this ???

This transcript has been automatically generated and may not be 100% accurate.

#bollywood movie #celebrity gossip #celebrity news #entertainment news #hollywood movies #movie reviews #music concerts

0 notes

thesinglesjukebox · 5 years

Video

youtube

SOLANGE - ALMEDA

[5.86]

Chipping away ever so slightly at Wikipedia's "universal acclaim" descriptor...

Tobi Tella: This is unapologetically black in so many ways, from the rap feature to the constant use of "brown" and "black." It's certainly not very subtle, and nowhere near as deft as the best songs on A Seat At The Table. But that doesn't mean it's not a hell of a lot of fun, and even if there's little behind the repping for culture, it bangs hard enough to get a pass from me. [6]

Thomas Inskeep: I've been known to complain about songwriting by committee, where there are 6, 7, or more names credited on a single song -- this is particularly endemic to the Max Martin school of pop music. But occasionally, you come across records which feature the involvement of scads of people but still retain a singular vision, and to my ears, Solange's When I Get Home is one of those. "Almeda," for example, is not only co-written by Solange with The-Dream and Playboi Carti, but co-produced by Solange with Pharrell and John Carroll Kirby, and features additional vocals from Metro Boomin (mostly on Puffy-in-the-'90s duty, in the mix exhorting "hold up"). But yet this sounds like nothing but Solange. Like much of When I Get Home, the track is very rooted in '70s jazz fusion, only "Almeda" also features some trunk-thumping bass and some loud-ass rattling snares. There's also a chopped and screwed aesthetic happening here -- the song's pace is glacial -- which is sensible, since much of the album is a love letter to Solange's hometown of Houston. Over top of this, Solange recites lists of brown and black things, properties, defiantly African-American. And somehow, she's able to pull all of this together into one incredibly cohesive, hypnotic record that I want to hear over, and over, and over, and over. [10]

Alfred Soto: Whether scoring art installations or the hashtags for which she's got talent, Solange embraces a stillness that often hardens into boredom when the music's on and I'm forced to concentrate. Buzzing, hissing percussion and a keyboard breakdown do their best for the sake of what plays like a commercial for her brand of Florida water. [5]

Iris Xie: You know the sound of a criss-cut ziptie, when you pull it tight and it clatters, screeches, and stutters along the hard plastic? That's the backbone of this song, combined with a jaunty piano and a dominant bassline that helps push forward and amplify Solange's calls for references to Black and brown representations. It's a great decision to make, because it also mimics the sound of being rapped on the desk to stand up and pay attention. But it also bounces in a way that allows one to travel to each of the representations and to land on it, like you're jumping on each rock while traversing a river. I also appreciate the strange piano melody that creates a feeling of modulation that contrasts with the low-key vocal delivery, and requires the listener to take a double-take to listen more deeply to the lyrics. "Almeda" undeniably reminds me of "Formation"'s declarations, but if melted down into a liquid form and without losing any of the sharpness and aggression. That demonstrates how they're both so closely connected to Houston, and results in a refreshing feeling of Solange expressing how she is tied to a place, a sound, and a vision, and bringing in those influences and making them her own. [7]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Some songs are best heard in a hypnagogic state. I turn on music whenever I wake up in the middle of the night and am capable of sleeping again rather quickly. That short window of time between pressing play and falling asleep has housed some of my favorite music listening experiences, and "Almeda" is a song that's practically tailormade for such moments. The repetitive nature of the lyrics sets a hypnotizing, near-lethargic atmosphere while the loud buzz of the synthesized hi-hats are quickfire sonic attacks to keep you awake just a little longer. Playboy Carti's presence is the sort of unexpected feature that'll leave you wondering if it's all a dream, and the beat switch during his verse is equally as sublime. During the day, I find this mostly dull. In the middle of the night, it's enchanting. [5]

Maxwell Cavaseno: Do you know how weird it is to use the words "devoid of any enthusiasm or excitement" for a song that relies on Playboi Carti? Something about the Knowles Carter (not Knowles-Carter) clan's insistence on opulence as gesture devoid of any direct emotional implication just demonstrates how boring luxury really is. [4]

Edward Okulicz: "Almeda" is a rich, evocative text on paper, as playful as it is prideful when it plays with various iterations of "black" and "brown." But it's an interesting collage that's not a lot of fun to listen to, chopped and screwed into monotony. [4]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

#Solange #pop #R&B #music #music review #writing

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stupidpianist · 6 years

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11 october 2018

12:38: Somehow egregiously slept thru my alarm… When I went to bed I was like, “okay, you need to break this terrible habit of setting ten-to-fifteen alarms, just set one, just set one and then you’re going to get up.” Must have turned off the alarm when still half-asleep, completely missed my 08:30 lecture… Seems “hellish” that this could have happened, I really can’t believe it… Gonna “take steps” to make sure this “never happens again,” maybe via reverting back to setting more than one alarm, maybe just three? Three sounds like a good number of alarms, right?

Folks sorry for ending the liveblog early yesterday night; went to go hang out with Jasleen and Jeremy and wanted to not “invade the sanctity of human interaction,” wanted to not “infringe on the privacy of others.”

Got back home not too late, went to bed by, like, one am?? Must have slept like eleven hours?! ELEVEN???? What the heck, I guess I was, like, I must have actually been as sleep deprived as I thought…

First thoughts on waking: wow I feel well rested, feeling “good” about today, “looking forward” to meeting with volunteer piano organization this evening. These meetings have quickly become “the highlight of my week” since they started a month ago; something about it, the “communal” nature of it? The “collaborative” nature of it?? Feels good to be with a group of individuals committed to “singular, socially beneficial” goal.

Stayed in bed for a bit reading up on the latest technology news, Razer has a new phone? Looks pretty good, I think, feel like I have a pretty good “track record” of “knowing what the people want” re: consumer electronics, feel confident this new phone won’t sell well comparative to Apple, Samsung, even the new Google phone, but feel equally confident it’s “setting a precedent.” Tune in tomorrow for more “tech predictions with George.”

12:55: “Hopped into” the shower, played aggressive metalcore music while “scrubbing.” Brushed teeth, remembering guiltily how I actively decided not to floss last night. Gonna have to start doing this, “before it’s too late”...

13:11: Made G Fuel energy shake. Feels like this is really starting to become “a part of the morning routine.” Reminded once again of how miraculously good this stuff tastes, seems insane comparative to other energy-based drinks?? Especially without sugar, how did they, how did they do this?

13:38: Gotta get out of this apartment. Such a late start to the day, wasted eight hours I could have been conscious just sleeping. Remembering a dream last night of an actually-non-existent family member visiting our family? Not many details, other than visiting a shoe store with them. Seems innocuous, maybe? Going to try not to read too deeply into this one, folks.

Walking from apartment to Marvin Duchow music library. Gonna get down these first few thoughts of the day before practicing piano. Okay, okay, here’s the docket for the day, people:

-Record first bit of today’s liveblog

-Go practice, can fit in a good four-hour chunk before class

-“Human Cognition and the Brain” lecture at 16h

-Record more of liveblog in thirty-minute break before focus group

-Focus group for indie game development at 18h

-Study for thirty-minute break in McLennan library before piano organization meeting

-19h30: piano organization meeting in basement of McLennan

Might try to practice for longer after the meeting is over? Unsure about this—meeting could run until 21:00, which really isn’t that late. I’m just thinking lazily, this is the George that just wants to go home after the meeting and stare at things on the internet until it’s time for bed.

Picturing a Nicolas Cage going, “I’m feeling real good today,” while throwing mock-punches at the air like in the movie Joe. Feeling “pretty good today,” I think.

13:52: Sitting in Marvin Duchow library workstation, second floor, away from windows, near the end of the floor, my favourite, default, go-to workstation in this library, recording these liveblog thoughts. Ghost still playing through headphones. Tapping my foot a little to the beat.

14:05: Heading to the practice rooms, thinking, “five minutes behind schedule, five… minutes…”

Recently have been “getting into” the band Ghost to a significant degree, obsessively Googling and reading everything I can about them. Thnking about this while practicing, specifically that the band leader, now called "Cardinal Copia" (after previous iterations “Papa Emeritus” I, II, and III), seems to have a strangely positive influence on piano playing?? Something about his commitment to the character, his physically reserved but somehow still ostentatious presence, the musicality, some combination of it all... Makes me “motivated” to “get better” at piano in ways that, previously, few figures have (Glenn Gould, Alex Beyer, both pianists, and other bands like Swans and Liturgy, I think, are the only others that make me feel this “determined.”)

I feel like this has taken a really strange tangent, not sure where I'm going with this. Urging all of you to check out Ghost. Very good, positive, A++, 10/10, “great seller, would buy from again” rating.

14:41: Practice session cut short!! For good reason!! Please believe me!! I guess this just solidifies that I need to go back to the practice rooms after the piano meeting tonight, doesn't it... Sort of “dreading” doing that, feel like I would “much rather” go back home to apartment, but I suppose most things in life are things that you wouldn't “rather do,” just things that “need to get done.” Strongly convinced that my life would be in a drastically different place if I just didn’t have such an issue with doing things I find displeasing to do, like, most people do that all day every day, I’m not special… Should have forced myself to do more of those things. Unsure if life would be in a “better” position, though, just—different. It’ll be okay, maybe.

Getting lunch with [redacted]. Had planned on doing this yesterday, somehow didn’t factor it into my schedule today. Went to the dining hall in Royal Victoria College residence to get orange juice, which [redacted] was “fiending for,” I feel. Ended up getting cranberry juice and a purple smoothie.

I haven’t been in any of the dining halls in any of the residence halls on campus in so long. It’s giving me memories of being in first year, sitting in the RVC caf with Poppy and Max and Felix, eating semi-palatable food after our piano seminar course. I miss those evenings. This feels distinctly like one of those “reminiscing on your youth” moments.

14:54: [Redacted] and I sitting in "the usual place," a secluded-but-comfy bench, or, like, couch-like thing without a backside near one of the exits to the music building. [Redacted] eating this massive, unwieldy, soggy schnitzel-and-bacon-and-tomato-and-lettuce sandwich they brought. I’m not eating anything, saving room instead for the free food which is promised at the indie game focus group. [Redacted]’s sandwich appears too big, almost nightmarishly so, for almost anyone to comfortably eat.

Feels good to be able to speak openly about all things with someone, ceaselessly, without breaks in conversation, for long periods of time, free from anxiety or stress of having to “make conversation.” Extremely grateful I have people around me, in my life, right now, that I can speak to in this manner.

15:46: Finished “lunch and talk” with friend, walking to class now. Strange sensation of the day “already being over” passing over me, in a similar way to how Tao Lin once described it in a bit of his writing. Feel a strange bit of hopelessness that I havevn't gotten as much accomplished today as I should have.

Gonna have to "make the most" of the rest of the day, yeah, that's going to offset things!! Have to really "put the pedal to the metal," especially because of the obligations of the focus group, and the piano meeting. There's still enough time to get things done, yeah, yes. Feeling good about this.

16:07: Actually taking some “goodass” notes, I think, for this human cognition class. It’s heavily focused on neuroanatomy, too, and I’m actually quite worried about the midterm, which I have not studied for to such a significant extent that, I’m sure, if I even started now, studying, like, a few hours a day, I couldn’t even make it comfortably through everything I should know.

The prof f or this class is this animated person with an amazing accent from some European country. I, to be honest, don’t know his name, but I’m gonna look it up and get back to you so we know where he’s from, maybe… He’s, like, charismatic, to the same degree as band leaders. Today we’re talking about visual agnosias. I don’t know why I skipped this class so much earlier in the semester, it’s both entertaining and engaging in such a way that I’d probably watch these lectures if they were on YouTube “strictly for fun,” passively internalizing the content of each lecture whilst just more enjoying the prof’s presence. He just tried to draw a rat on the board and completely failed:

Notes taken while in class:

-Let’s see what I don’t know today, let’s see what I need to “catch up on”

-I like this prof’s laugh

-Feel like my memory has acutely improved since three days ago

-I feel so involved

-I still feel so involved haha

-Grinning wildly

17:15: Class let out a bit early. Walking to McLennan to update liveblog before focus group. Gonna do some research on indie games too just to “freshen up” my knowledge a bit. Want to be as helpful as possible to these “burgeoning,” “fledgling” indie game developers.

17:45: Dancing a bit too aggressively while seated in library, I feel, while typing this. Feeling a slight uptick of emotion, though.

17:57: Observed shorter-than-average person dancing a little while on sidewalk; they swung their arms parallel to the ground around their body a few times and did a little hop. I like when people express themselves physically in public, especially when it’s positive, or, at least, I’m assuming this was a positive expression. Do people do swing-ey dances when they’re sad? I guess they do sometimes??

Feeling excited to “give my opinion,” feel like I have “a lot to offer.”

18:00: Walking quickly around third floor of Bronfman building, thinking, “where is it, I should have found it by now, seems insane I haven’t… found the room by now…” Retraced steps and entered large study room, flanked on either side by smaller studying pods. Found room for focus group.

18:06: Seated in room for focus group. Four other guys and me. Three women as the focus group leaders. In the table in the middle of the room: two large Dominos pizza boxes, one veggie and one pepperoni. Ate one vegetable slice and one pepperoni slice in quick succession after observing that everyone was already on their second slice. Thinking, “don’t be belligerent, be helpful, don’t be annoying, be gregarious.”

One focus group participant, directly to my left, seems the extreme minority of video game players. Never has purchased a game via the internet, never plays PC games, never goes online to purchase games either, still visits brick-and-mortar shops. Favourite game: Mario Kart. Nice.

Felt consistently high levels of concentration and genuine concern over attempting to answer focus group questions as accurately and concisely as possible. Dynamics of strangers always interests me, it’s like, we got “lucky” that all of us seem to, ostensibly, get along extremely well extremely quickly, piggie-backing or defending our ideas without any hostility. Seems like we’re all more-or-less “on the same page,” actually.

Brought up videogamedunkey to unanimous laughter and approval from group. Question was, like, “which YouTube video game influencers do you trust?” and I was like, “just get Dunkey to play your game,” to which everyone nodded their heads vigorously, or said, out loud, “yeah.” Grinned uncontrollably for ten-to-fifteen seconds.

Focus group appears to universally be unimpressed with the game we are discussing… Seems like we’re all “putting it down” as “generic,” “not interesting-seeming,” and “not well marketed.” Seems bleak, maybe.

Participant in the far right corner to me seems to be the most charismatic of us all, says the least, but is extremely well spoken when he contributes something. Has tattoo of the Nintendo 64 game controller on his left bicep. I like him.

19:16: Meeting over. Ate final veggie slice of pizza when nobody else wanted to take it. Walking back to McLennan library now for piano organization meeting, feeling extremely trancelike re: fog. It’s so thick that every skyscraper is half-obscured. Feels like an extreme dream state, or something out of a movie.

Realizing disgruntledly that I didn’t factor in time for a run today. Making mental note that I’ll have to “put my ass in fourth gear” tomorrow and do it. Running seems to be the one activity that universally puts me in a better mood after I do it, without fail, every single time that I do it. Thinking, “100% success rate” in the voice of someone starring in a commercial.

19:41: Piano organization meeting started. Missing two group members, both of whom I’m “really fond of.” One of them seems like one of the most genuinely kind people I’ve ever met, and someone who is continually attempting to improve on how “good of a human” he is. Miss his “cheeky grin.”

20:26: Meeting surprisingly already over… This has been the shortest piano organization meeting all year, somehow. Making hard mental decision to “give up” on practicing for the day, feeling semi-defeated, but in a better mood than a few hours ago. Gonna blast ZillaKami while walking home. Repeating the phrase, “new day new me” and “tomorrow is a fresh start” while walking to the beat.

20:44: At B&Y 24-hour grocery store right next to my apartment. Standing in front of beer cooler thinking, “do it, get a Sapporo, don’t get a Pabst, who cares, you can afford to spend an extra fifty cents, go nuts.” Opened fridge, grasped 650mL Sapporo can, closed fridge, walked to register, paid.

20:52: Finally home. Feeling like Ryan Gosling in Blade Runner 2049 when he goes back to his apartment for the first time and is like, “I need a drink” to Joi, who’s like, “It was a day, huh?”

21:16: Observed while browsing YouTube subscriptions page the new “Beer Me” beer review video is up. Have been following this channel for years now, one of the few channels to consistently make me feel extreme, uncontrollable levels of excitement for each upload. It’s two dudes from Vancouver who are goofy as hell, Trevor and Dave, who drink a six-pack each of a beer over the course of an hour whilst rating them on appearance, taste, smoothness, downability (how easy they are to chug in one go), reliability. They seem like a little more than borderline alcoholics, and have the funniest observations and ways of describing things. Have wanted to “hang out” with them for the longest time. Feel like they’d make good friends. Strongly feel that they’d make good friends. STRONGLY.

#liveblog #blog #writing

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scottielambchop · 6 years

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My Summer Set Review (2/2) ...Like, a Year Later

Hey guys, I got really tired on waiting for this thing to be edited (and honestly so did the person editing it). So here it is, unedited (sorry no boobs).

Herobust – Dirty Work: Before I get into this, I have a feeling that this song isn’t about the 1998 Norm MacDonald classic. This song starts off like it’s going to be a dirty-ass hip hop song, which is pretty tight, but then actual beat comes in which sounds like someone put a bunch of springs in a coffee can and then recorded it. As the song progresses, it sounds like someone autotuned an auto body shop. It’s bordering on unlistenable. The lyrics are really good though, you know, just about straight objectification of a woman. Jesus fucking Christ, it’s songs like this that make me really wonder why the fuck I chose to write this shit in my free time. All I can think about are junked out white kids twitching to this song in a grassy field and saying that they’re “in a groove.”

Keys n Krates – Dum Dee Dum: Holy shit, this song’s initial beat is just the words “dum dee dum” on repeat at different tones while someone uses a drum machine. There’s no drive or real buildup or anything. I know these kids like to dance to this shit, but I’m having a hard time even finding myself able to move. Then again, I’m not stuffed to the gills with blow and molly. I just don’t know what I’m listening to anymore.

Malaa – Notorious: First thing’s first, at the time of this review, this song has 6,382,678 views, so I’m thinking this is a banger… but I’m actually expecting the audio equivalent of dog shit through an Instagram filter. Ok, getting started. This song has a very basic beat, almost the type of beat someone would make when they’re trying to explain generic techno. And honestly, I’m not far off. It’s just low-key shit while lyrics from a hip hop artist are scattered about whenever it fits. I don’t hate this, I mean, I also don’t really like it either. It’s so nondescript that it’s hard to formulate an opinion on it. Which makes the high number of views makes so much sense to me, because either it’s so generic that it will keep any shitty 20-something basement party going without “harshing” anyone’s mellow, or someone had to listen to the song six million times just for to formulate an actual opinion on it. It’s probably a mix.

Ookay – Thief: This guy is straight-up made out of autotune. Thankfully, he’s trying to bring back the sexy saxophone, but the shitty over-bassed beats ruin any sort of goodwill that had going for it. Like, this song just sounds like a modern slow jam. There are lyrics… layers and layers of the same lyrics over each other, but it’s alright. I just kinda wish I didn’t have to see what this guy looks like. You know when a barista says “I’m also a DJ?” I have a feeling this guy is that success story. Compared to everything I’ve listened to so far, this song may as well be Rust In Peace by Megadeth, but ultimately it’s just Ookay.

Petit Buscuit – Sunset Lover: Jesus, more than 37 million people have listened to this. It starts off with a with an alright guitar (or synth guitar) riff, but then follows it up with an annoying high pitched voice speaking in a remixed foreign language. But this is really just non-offensive, kind of relaxing. It ever so slowly builds up more, adding in beats and other percussion instruments. Minus the remixed voice, this song is actually pretty good. I’d play it to help me sleep (I swear that’s not a dig). It’s just a quiet, relaxing song, people probably fuck to it a bunch.

Playboi Carti – Magnolia: This is a break from your typical bullshit dubstep/EDM on this list, which is a warm welcome for me. Sadly, this guy sounds like The Streets, but with an over-bassed beat. I don’t know what’s going on with hip hop anymore. Lyrically, it’s like they’re not even trying anymore, no rhyme scheme or anything. Just drone beats and incomprehensible rambling followed by a clearly audible “bitch” and that’s it. That said, still better than most of the stuff I’ve listened to.

Slushii – So Long (Feat. Madi): I can really tell how much this review process has started to change my outlook on things. I legitimately got excited when I saw actual people on the YouTube video thumbnail. My brain is breaking, ever so quickly. Anyway, this actually starts off like a pop song, slow beginning, nice pianos. Hell, even the girl singing sounds like she’s using her own voice. Ok, now the electronic part kicked in, but it’s not overly annoying. Honestly, this just sounds like generic hipster garbage, that people would namedrop to get some sort of superiority (“Oh that’s cute that you Animal Collective, but I’m more of a Slushii person.”) Regardless, I’m worried that they’ll get kicked off of the festival for being an artist that creates an actual song. Prayers for the Slushii family.

Snails – Frogbass: Oh Jesus, they’re hitting the ground running on this garbage. This just starts off really loud and obnoxious. And there’s a buildup where everything speeds up really quickly and subsequently gets quiet. All leading up the huge “dubstep” climax that just sounds like it was made on Sega Genesis sound chip. Like, that breakdown seriously gives me a headache. I feel like I need drugs… I SEE THE APPEAL NOW!

Space Jesus – The Weed: Well fuck, at least we’re now throwing out any attempts a subtlety with this song title. Honestly though, if I wasn’t working on this little project, and someone asked me if I’ve heard “The Weed” by Space Jesus, I would assume they’re one of the coolest stoner metal bands ever. But in all actuality, this song is just a conversation between two people about how a guy doesn’t smoke weed anymore, and that there’s a new drug or some shit out there, then it’s all remixed at different levels over some boring-ass, non-consistent beats. There’s seriously no drive to any of this shit. Like I understand that kids want to have some sort of music to listen to while they’re frying their brains on elicit drugs, but for fuck’s sake, try and maintain some artistic integrity. Oh, and this video has some dumb, weird fascination with waffles, but really, who gives a shit?

Ugly God – Water: Who could have seen this coming? The next natural progression from Space Jesus is Ugly God. In the future, I’m going to cite these two groups as a reason for my atheism. Once again, this is just generic beats with a guy mumbling over it. But wait, this guy rhymed “water” with “water” NEVERMIND HE’S A FUCKING GENIUS! And according to this music video, he’s also very talented at pouring two types of alcohol on someone’s daughter’s breasts. You know, because that’s a thing apparently. Also, this video has a weird gangster element, and utilizes the “f-word” (homophobic slur). Maybe the Christian conservatives were right about us shitty “snowflakes.” I mean, if (Ugly) God doesn’t have a problem placing himself above women and homosexuals, why should anyone else. I need to rethink my life.

Vanic – Too Soon (feat. Maty Noyes): This Maty Noyes girl has a pretty good voice… I think. It’s kinda fitting the trend of inward sing/mumbling so I don’t know what’s good anymore. But anyway, this song has the format of a pretty basic electronic pop song. Yeah, there’s a part in the middle where the keyboards make auto-tuned “veep” and “voop” noises, but at this point, nothing is surprising. The buildup is ok, and parts of this song are somewhat catchy. Yeah, it’s just a dance-pop song. Nothing groundbreaking, but it’ll get your ass shaking in the club or wherever the fuck you want to go.

Whethan – Savage (feat. Flux Pavilion and MAX): Well first of all, this video was uploaded by an organization called Trap Nation. I suppose there is no better time to let you all know that I have no idea what trap music actually is. So far all I can tell is that it just involves a lot of bass-y fart noises in lieu of a chorus. The quiet parts of this song are relatively tranquil, and I would very much like the song to just be nice an relaxing, but I guess that would make doing drugs in the middle of a field boring, so I guess Whethan added some loud robot farts to get you guys going… and that is trap music.

Wolfgang Gartner – Devotion: Apparently Wolfgang Gartner is the artist most retail clothing stores hire to make their in-house music. I’m currently watching a “lyric” video for this song, and they just have the same two lines on repeat throughout the entire song. It’s really loud and annoying, and yet I feel the urge to buy a pair of $150 jeans and a suit jacket.

Blu J – HDLCK: They sample Imogene Heap for this, so that’s pretty alright. But they replaced all of the music with the typical techno drums and claps, and then fill the rest off with random noises (you know, the sounds like when you hit a PVC pipe with a stick or whatever). I suppose it can make someone shake their ass. It just goes quiet and then loud and then quiet again. I’m now realizing that this review has become a test in how many times I can write the same goddamn review.

Kasbo – World Away: To start off, this just sounds like something that would be played in a dimly lit bar that would make you pay $25 for a gin and tonic. Very light and ethereal, but also really annoying. It’s like the audio equivalent of a late 20s/early 30s aspiring Instagram model. I can only picture people wearing big hats and big sunglasses listening to this and saying that this song is “so dope” and then going back to eating sushi and talking about how they want to travel the world and then live in a tiny home in an open field somewhere.

Russ Liquid – Feral Cat: Oh Jesus Christ this starts with what sounds like a pan flute and then evolves to a Moog synth. All of the sounds are compiling over each other, it’s like a multiple layers of noise that start and stop with the overall beat, like nothing is overtly loud, but there’s just so much happening all at once. After a bit, it just cuts its initial beat, and the noises just come all willy-nilly. There’s a point where a high-pitched voice is singing something, then there’s a clearly slowed down voice saying some bullshit at the same time, while it sounds like someone is having a stroke while playing a synth. This is like the official theme to a sexy headache.

Oh My Love – Spark: Oh good, it’s a band that saw early MGMT and the Phoenix back in 2009 and never grew out of it! That said, compared to practically everything else I’ve heard on this list, this has a straight-up song structure. And if I’m being completely honest, it’s actually pretty good. The female vocalist has a relatively pretty voice, and the beat isn’t overbearing. This song sounds like it would be played on a depressing montage about love lost over a summer in an indie film. Shit, I might actually listen to this song again, when I’m not forcing myself to review it. I have no idea who I am anymore.

Mielo – Surreal (Feat. Abby Sevcik): The beginning of this was highly inspired by the vocal prompts in Animal Crossing. Vocal cuts stopped and turned into actual vocals, which was nice… oops spoke to soon, it’s now just the word “you” in different pitches with a typical electronic beat. And now were back to the regular vocals. I get how this song works. It has some really peaceful, pretty singing and then it’s followed by one of the most annoying choruses. It’s kinda brilliant really, it provides audio highs and lows for people on ecstasy to better ejaculate. Yeah, a little under half of this song is good, but the rest is annoying horseshit.

Porn and Chicken – Ugh, no.

Attom – Stay: This is just local coffee shop background hipster music. Light noises, overpowering beat, peaceful synths and indecipherable vocals. Easy to ignore when you’re trying to finish your essay about how the works of Kant and Descartes affected the political cultures of their times or whatever. It wasn’t anything, Hell, it was hardly there. So needless to say, I like it better than 75% of the rest of this stuff.

GainesFM – Negative Energy: This is just typical modern hip-hop song with a minimal beat and mumbled lyrics. The only thing that sets this song apart from the rest of it is the fact that it sounds like vocals were recorded with a megaphone muffled through a pillow. At least he has the wherewithal to rhyme on occasion. Whatever.

Indrid Cold – Cosmic Dust: This starts off with a sample from an Apollo space mission. As far as I can tell, this guy is just a typical club DJ. Fun fact: I did once go through a minor techno phase in the very early aughts (we’re talkin’ ’01 or ’02). During this time, I listened to a lot of Paul Oakenfold, Chemical Brothers, and Orbital, and honestly, that’s exactly what this sounds like. It’s still shitty techno, but it reminds me of the shitty techno that I used to listen to, so I can tolerate it. Stupid samples though.

Ragebeards – Round 2: Ok here’s the deal, these guys are a local Minnesota DJ duo, I can’t really find anything of theirs on YouTube, so I’m watching a video on their Facebook. The problem (other than the fact that they suck) is that the video is more than an hour long, and I’m certainly not going to waste an hour of my life listening to this. Anyway, I can review this relatively quickly, imagine the worst parts of late 90’s Crystal Method and then add Michael Buffer/Jock Jams samples in there and that’s basically what you’ve got. Take that however you want, I’d rather listen to Filter.

Why Khakiq – Knew the Half: This song is pretty wild, man. It starts off as one of those mumblely hip-hop songs, but then the dude starts straight-up spittin’ rhymes. Then half way through, the beat completely changes to something faster and the guy really goes after it. And then it cuts back down. I dunno, man, I kinda really like this. Solid

Trufeelz – Set Ya Mind Free: Ok, imagine sped up Musak, weird synthy laser sounds, and then the same phrase being repeated on different pitches, one high and annoying, and the other low and breathy… and also annoying. But I can see how people dance to this. It sucks, but as I’ve come to realize, that doesn’t mean you can’t dance to it. OH COOL, THEY’VE ADDED PAN FLUTES AT THE END! NEVERMIND THIS SONG RULES!

Conclusion:

I’ve given one song by every artist a shot. Surprisingly, I found one or two that didn’t make me want to lobotomize myself with forklift (Hell, I actually found one that I actually kinda liked (Lookin’ at you Oh My Love)). But ultimately, most of the people playing this festival sound like the audio equivalent of vape rigs.

Most electronic dance music (techno, trap, house, flip, flop, butt, farts, Jeep Cherokee, flat earth, and whatever other subgenres) is the goddamn worst. Granted, I haven’t even smoked weed since 2009, so I don’t know what these guys sound like on drugs… or stranded in a field with people on drugs. The one thing I’ve discovered, is that this is just the next iteration of hippie bullshit. If you need drugs to enjoy the sounds robots fucking, maybe the sounds of robots fucking isn’t good. But whatever, I’m not going to fully shit on someone’s good time. I just won’t go to the goddamn festival.

If I can leave you all with one last thought, it would have to be “Fuck hippies and their bullshit music.”

But seriously, I hope you guys all do what you want, and do what makes you happy. I know I didn’t. I’m going to neutralize the nearly irreversible damage I’ve done to myself by listening to Propagandhi and Snapcase.

But seriously, seriously, fuck hippies.

Stay safe out there. Always know your dealer.

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