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#so. i will let the public speak
angelsdean · 1 year
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stuckinapril · 4 months
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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cappurrccino · 9 hours
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"actually pirating books is good becau--"
GO TO THE LIBRARY.
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lavenoon · 9 months
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Kindled Spirits AU
Soulmate AU revamped with a Y/N <3
Basics: Soulmate bonds are 1) not necessarily romantic, 2) not a given and not always between just 2 people, 3) not necessarily reciprocal (rare, but happens) Basically soulmates are bonded via dreams - meeting within dreams, or dreaming of each other’s memories, anything in dreams is fair game Plays a year after the pizzaplex fire and given that I had the idea a good while ago none of the dlc is included in the premise, also bc this is based on an old self insert fic Y/N is extremely audhd because that I refuse to take out
Y/N has spent most of their life assuming they don’t have a soulmate, which is a relief because they’re plagued by nightmares/ stress dreams a lot. They got used to those, and when some other hazy dreams crop up later in life they don’t think much of it.
Then one night they dream of burning. An indoor playground, they stand in the middle of it, filled with hopelessness and self hatred they cant explain (the irony of Sun burning to death). They don’t feel alone though, and though they can’t see anyone else, they know someone else is there. It's both a comfort as well as agonizing, and the care for that other person is evident, despite the whole emotional cocktail. They go through the entire dream incapable of changing anything, and then wake up still feeling hot but also cold and clammy, phantom flames still licking at their skin. All while they cope with the idea that maybe they did have a soulmate, and that is now past tense.
For an entire year they go around thinking they witnessed their soulmate(s?) burning to death via dream, not telling anyone about it but carrying that guilt.
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They move, and find a new job - the Pizzaplex is hiring! No one wants to be a security guard anymore after all that weird shit a year ago, so even though Y/N lacks the qualifications, they get hired. Rotating shifts, day (morning/ afternoon) and night. The first time they walk past the daycare, it flashes into flame - but no, that’s just coincidence. It’s the first indoor playground they’ve seen since then, it’s hazy dream memories worsened by guilt, it’s not the same.
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Y/N befriends the daycare attendant, and the naptime attendant - they talk to Sun sometimes through the slide, and Moon usually bothers them on their security rounds. They do meet Sun first, after trying to be helpful throwing down some stray ballpit balls down the slide, and a curious Sun crawls up just to get a ball to the face. Y/N feels very bad about that, and given their lack of scripts for how to interact with animatronics, they just fall back on the scripts they already have. Sun doesn't seem to mind, so it's all good! Then one night they shout a belated "Good night!" down the slide, after the lights in the daycare have turned off, and barely avoid falling when suddenly Moon stands behind them, asking them just what they're doing. He makes his dislike of their flashlight promptly known, and then they have a menace of a shadow for their rounds.
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That goes on for a couple weeks, until Sun asks them inside of the daycare to address a few concerns they could please relay to management?
And then the perspective is just undeniable. Y/N gets caught in the flashback, seeing it all burn again, and Sun startles them out of it. They don’t tell him. They can’t. But they realize that he’s been forced to work in a direct replica of the place where he burned to (temporary) death.
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After that they keep trying to broach the topic of soulmates in general, but Sun and Moon are very much convinced that as animatronics they are not people, and they can’t dream anyway, so how would they have a soulmate? So silly!
Dreams and personhood are very connected in this AU - with dreams linking souls society just assumes that anyone without dreams is not a person. (Is this a societal issue for other humans who don't dream? Sure! People are people and will exclude others for any reason!)
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Meanwhile Y/N starts having more dreams - they assume because now they live closer, actually met their soulmates, there’s less of a barrier to only have the super traumatic stuff make it into their dreams. In fact, they are kind of relieved that their usual nightmares are exchanged for extremely mundane “watching kids play in the daycare” or watching themself being bothered by Moon from his POV.
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It’s a struggle trying to convince their soulmates that they are in fact people, while wondering if the bond is reciprocated because how would they tell? Sun and Moon can’t dream, there’s no confirmation that Y/N is their soulmate too! Lots of fear of rejection that’s holding them back here
But also some shenanigans at this time, like Y/N knowing that Moon follows them on their routes, and calling him out on it when he tries to stay hidden. He asks how they knew, and they bluntly reply “it came to me in a dream”. Moon laughs, then asks for the truth that they don’t know how to give after he rejects it so easily. They end up deflecting and he goes back to being a menace.
Also Y/N being somewhat anxious once they realize that Sun uses "friend" for many people (whenever they do see him interact with adults, which isn't often) and awkwardly ask for confirmation because oh no what if he's just being polite and they read too much into it? They almost regret it when he proves that Moon isn't the only menace and makes sure they know he considers them their friend after! Moon continues being a cat in his affections, so when Y/N asks him the same he ends up positively surprised, somewhat guilty (due to the secrets he keeps, and the danger he still believes he poses), but mostly ramps up the friendly annoying to the max
And then Y/N ends up impulsively telling Moon. He wants them to be joking - asks them to, even, to take it all back. When they refuse he reacts more in anger and accuses them of deluding themself, suggesting they need medical attention. They get angry then, too, because is he really telling them to go to a doctor after they confess something like this? It ends badly, with Y/N fleeing the scene and then avoiding both Moon and Sun for a good while.
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Until Sun requests their presence about a “security issue” in the closed daycare, and Y/N goes even knowing he’ll want to talk. He’s concerned more than angry, but disbelieving all the same. Y/N’s patience is running thin when Sun, desperately, asks them just what they were dreaming about to be so convinced - what made them think they're linked to an animatronic like that? - so they tell him about the fire. They also tell him that they were telling the truth that one time with Moon. Sun (and Moon) get their own flashback, and Y/N ends up frantic, apologizing for bringing it up like that, while the boys are just terrified that
1) Y/N had to see that, experience it via dream
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and 2) just what else could they have seen?
Moon in particular is terrified - he approaches them a bit later, asking about other dreams they might’ve had. Even says “they would have been nightmares”. He assumes that Y/N must have witnessed the virus induced murders and has no idea how to assure them that he’s not that, after he reacted in so much anger at their initial confession. His concern doesn’t really lessen, and more shifts upon being told that “I wouldn’t know, all my dreams are nightmares anyway”.
Mostly themed around growing closer after that, and working around “we don’t need to dream of you to know we like you, and we do!” as well as uncovering the past trauma Sun and Moon have gone through (and are going through, still trapped in the same building in a replica of where they burned).
Also Sun and Moon struggling to accept their personhood because if they’re people, then they are traumatized and were (and are being) mistreated for a long time, and that’s also hard to come to terms with. Some thoughts towards animatronic emancipation though I never got that far in the fic, so mostly comfort and slice of life as they work around the little bump in the road of their soulmate bond. Y/N opening up about their own dreams, and why it's so difficult to say they had any nightmares based on Sun and Moon's experience before the literal death experience not just breaking the ice but rather melting it at record speed
Would remain platonic/ ambiguous because it was very important to me that soulmates aren't necessarily romantic, and they all have bigger fish to fry than whether or not they'd like to go on dates - given that that's hardly an option while Sun and Moon cannot leave the Plex. The reassurance and relationship beyond the bond actually is the most important part, with Y/N admitting to both Sun and Moon and also themself that they enjoy having them as soulmates, of course! But they'd be friends with or without those dreams, given that Y/N initially approached them both before they even realized. Which is also a relief, because Sun and Moon do feel bad over not being able to confirm that it's reciprocated - they feel like it is, they want it to be (and isn't that the most important part?)! But they don't know. And that's okay - because they found each other, dreams or not, and they won't lose that <3
This is as much as I have right now, and as much as it'll stay for the time being! Enjoy <3
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holocene-sims · 2 months
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next // previous
august 19, 2021 12:15 a.m. star noraebang
song in queue: man & woman - kim bum soo w/ park sun joo ✨
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southern--downpour · 8 months
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found a VHS tape from 2004 in the art department at my college, I give it a 50/50 its either blank or im about to become a horror webseries protagonist
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pedropascallme · 28 days
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https://www.instagram.com/reel/C5SD3RBr2it/?igsh=NmViYTZiaGZmaGUy in case you still haven't seen :D
Thank you!! I hadn’t seen the full thing this is wonderful <3 posting this so everybody else who might’ve missed it can see!
(Also leaving my personal opinions in the tags just to clarify where I stand because I’m so tired of everybody being weird about Damien specifically throughout this whole thing)
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Joe Alwyn wore a ceasefire pin to the pre-bafta dinner I don’t care what you guys say you can never make me hate that man
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divinebunni · 1 year
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i don’t know who needs to hear this but good men do exist, they are soft and gentle and respectful, they hold you when you cry and pet your hair and place gentle kisses over your whole body and learn every little thing they can about you and strive to keep you safe and be a friend as well as a lover and they treat everyone and animals with respect and don’t say misogynistic sexist racist phobic things and they sing with you loudly in the car and let you braid their hair as practice and say i love you without you having to say it first and express their love for you in front of everyone and they look at you deeply and support your every decision and lowest moment and wish nothing but greatness for your health and mental betterment and treat women and men and all with such kindness. good men exist, good men deserve the same love and respect and kindness and support that you would give to anyone with a good soul. good men understand, and they will always be here with genuine hearts
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elytrafemme · 2 months
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and obviously this is by far the least important part of ANY of this, but i'm going to pretty strongly dissociate myself from anything relating to that smp-- mostly for my own mental health (again, not to center myself here). as for CS, i would like to continue it, though obviously the disclaimers again will be heavy. it is a story i wrote to cope with abuse, and if fanworks like that are called to be stopped then i will obviously rethink things. but i will give it a lot of time to figure out how to meaningfully create something from a piece of media created by unfathomably shitty people, and i'd like to be able to continue writing for the message that CS was set to convey.
again, this is not the focus of the conversation, but i just wanted to say that since i am online for once and i figure i may get an ask or two about it.
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kitkatcadillac · 1 year
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if you piss all over a public toilet seat, and i mean just piss all the fuck over it, and then leave that for someone else to deal with because it "gives people a job to do" or it "isnt your problem" im cursing you, hexing you, dooming you a thousand lifetimes over
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nanoa1foryou · 8 months
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Some of you have never listened to and truly felt Call It Off by NateWantsToBattle and it really shows
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tyrannuspitch · 4 months
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carry on reread has once again moved me to speak bc idk if i've ever realised quite how fucked up this is before.
one of the main rumours about where baz's been is - quote - "[a] dark coming-of-age ritual that left him too marked up to be seen in public".
so... baz's classmates see him looking sick, starved and injured, AFTER two entire months out of school, and they... they assume his family did that to him??? holy shit. and this is a normal enough assumption to be shared flippantly and gossiped about? like sure, it's a little unreal, in the realm of rumour, but still... it's plausible? everyone is thinking it?
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enok1 · 6 days
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Optimism is so funny though. Yes I have been forced to stay only in my house's general area for 11 years. Yes I will somehow be able to live normally after that.
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theinfinitedivides · 3 months
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can't believe we're doing this for the second time in less than six months but. you see any Key content being reblogged during the next few weeks (whether recent creations or over the past comebacks) that's the queue talking. someone needs to take that man back to church and pray for him what is he doing
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scrawlingskribbles · 5 months
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I love your profile picture! Do you have a higher resolution of it or a full version of it? I like your Puck and Glitter artwork a lot!
bwahaha omg yeah, I was planning on posting it along with a few other drawings, but then life stuff got in the way so that hasn't quite happened yet,,, TwT;; But I'm glad someone else still has love for these dorks; they deserve it!!
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((hopefully I'll get back around to those other arts again soon x'3c))
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