#so yay for pushing myself

[thelalalalatestrevolutionnewsies]

a new watercolor building hot off the press

#idk quite how I feel abt this one #I was a lot harder to sketch #so yay for pushing myself #it’s a small mom and pop Italian restaurant #watercolor #watercolour art #sketch #my art <3 #my artwork #Cara’s art <3

[humans-are-tasty]

#sir crocodile #one piece #shooketh #this is from july #cross guild ep coming yay #my art #update wow the episode was great the new outfits will take some getting used to but honestly i was too happy to see them again to care #mihawk was so adorable and soft im going nuts :) #and blackbeard in the preview ohgod im not ok #croc is so purple now #buggys VA is so entertaining... kuro chan ohhmggg #OK BUT THEY MADE CROC AND MIHAWKS CALL EXTRA ROMANTIC WWRHURRRURUU #very hard to push myself to draw anything lately. makes me wonder if im cut out for this #my sleep schedule is the worst its been since i was 13 #idk how many ppl even read these tags #do you play aram in league? play with me if u want #i want to start drawing like i did 2-3 yrs ago again.

[chaotictomtom]

drew Serj on monday, doesn't look like him but bear with me i had a fever alright

#i wish i could draw him good #still making out sloppy style with my schmincke super granulated watercolours btw. #like how is that just from one colour omgggg #busting a nut seeing the beauty in life (watercolour doing cool watercolour stuff) #i was so sick and so nauseous that night idk how i pulled out any drawings #i was so frustrated not to be able to do anything w/o feeling like puking so i pushed myself through #did up end up puking but like way later so!!!! did drew a lil that night yipee yay wahoo #tomtoms_art #serj tankian #serj tankian fanart #soad fanart #p

[thal-ent]

Having a very Bad week™

#vent #i just feel like i'm acting like a bitch to everyone #and at the same time people are disrespecting me and what i like #so i both feel justified and injusticed in being a bitch back #especially when one of the people is just. pushing on my buttons for a few weeks now and I have to fight myself to not reply snarkily to her #and the other is my mother who is just #like that and a HUGE hypocrite #i could talk about my mom going 'oh I'm not resentful 😇 I'm being told i'm too nice 😇😇' being an awful person when she wants to #the first person to talk down about litterally anyone in her life when she has the chance #and i just have to sit and take it because i dont want to create more wedge between us #and i'm stuck with her for 8-9 more days...... yay..... /sarc

[xoadoratio]

after a lot of self reflection i’ve realized that the disconnect i feel socially has less to do with gender and more to do with likely neurological differences. yayyyy

#neurodivergent #nonbinary #this is so fun and awesome because now i’m even more alone!!! yay!!!!! why can’t i be more like other girls GOD i’m insufferable #i have an overall disconnect from people because i’m depressed and socially awkward and probably always have been #and my mannerisms push people away #but that’s not to say i shouldn’t shoot for becoming Something. and i’m not a man that’s for sure #honestly sticking myself into the box of Woman also sucks. i can’t relate to anything the girls around me talk about and i wish i did #but what other choice do i have #they say be yourself #but when i did that no one listened to me #people don’t like Me. because i don’t think like them #my therapist says i just think differently #yeah well that’s wonderful uhhh so like that’s fun and quirky until i’ve pushed away all of my friends #i get socially exhausted almost instantly even around people i like… #and i can’t talk about the things i care about because they’re too RANDOM no one knows them:(

[soupacool]

congrats on taking T and experiencing voice changes, that's so exciting!! 🥳🥳✨✨

thank you!!! it's been a period of intense learning of myself and my place in the world and I wouldn't trade it for anything

#fredfinch #soupy post #if you will allow me to ramble further in the tags since I haven't really talked about this very much <333 #it was something I was really not certain about for a very long time. I kind of needed to start it to understand my feelings about it #and now my feelings are 'yay!' and singing joyfully #(singing is amazing. every day my range changes and I sound more like myself. I feel the vibrations in my chest and it feels like home) #I'm very grateful to the circumstances in my life that have allowed me to make my own decisions about my body and experience #I have a trans healthcare provider and I wish I could give that gift to every trans person seeking gender affirming care #they are so wonderful and have gone above and beyond on my behalf #they let me be unsure. they did not push me one bit they made sure I had all the info and answered every question I had #I asked if I could decide if I wanted it on my own at home and they said absolutely. and I obviously decided to move forward #I don't think T is something that I will be on for the rest of my life but right now it absolutely feels like the right thing #I am getting permanent changes that are gender affirming for me and I understand elements of my gender even better #I feel intensely masculine but less like a man than I've ever felt in my life. I feel very connected to my butchness tho #and extremely extremely connected to my voice <3 #anyways thank you again for your message mr fredfinch it put a great big smile on my face

[chaoticeddie]

snowed all day today 🙃✌️

#i was okay driving to work cause it hadn't started yet #but god. driving home? #I came so close to parking somewhere and asking my parents to come pick me up #I know it probably would have been safer and easier to get on the highway #but after I was in that accident last december where I slid on ice getting on the highway and totaled my car #I just couldn't make myself get on the highway #the side streets were so bad though it really felt like they didn't treat the roads at all #even though we've known it was gonna snow since like tuesday #I wouldn't have gone to work except I had to feed the cats and no one else was gonna be available #anyway #cried the whole way home #and it took me legit an hour and a half to drive what should have taken me MAYBE 25 minutes #and then I got into my apartment's parking lot #and pulled into a parking spot #and got stuck in the snow two feet out of the spot #so my dad and my brother and my sister's boyfriend had to come and push my car those last two feet #and then I had a panic attack when I got inside and now I'm exhausted yay #fun stuff! #I will not be doing this again

[nordic-language-love]

at today’s staff meeting my supervisor was talking to one of my colleagues about her studying japanese and he said “well victoria and [other colleague] are probably going to take the jlpt so you could form a study group and study together” and both me and my other colleague were like wait what

#well now i feel like i have to take it lol #i did some jlpt level 5 practice qs and got 12/14 (one of them i was 50/50 on two answers but if i'd thought about it more would've got it) #so then... do i take level 5 bc i think i can pass or level 4 bc i don't think i can pass and will actually push myself? #the test is in july sooo #but the last time i tried these practice qs i bailed out less than halfway through bc they were too difficult #so yay real progress! #update: tried the n4 and there was too much i didn't know so i stopped #i don't want to just translate the questions/answers and then next time i try just remember the correct answers #if that makes sense? #i want to try again when i'm a higher level and have a better chance of actually understanding

[wishful-seeker]

Im sooo happy im on physical therapy again

Toned legs and less pain here i come!

#a while ago i did a year of pt everyday and i looked goooood #its also helping me push past my usual limits and cope with pain #using my muscles distracts from the raging fire in my bones #an i miss working out soooo much #fun fact before being bedridden and house bound i was really athletic! #not so fun fact i completed a triathlon at 18 and it was a really great moment for me but it was too much for my body. #couple weeks after i got tendinitis in my right knee which started my crps #so id say that triathlon caused my crps #no regrets though! i loved doing it and i atill love my life now #and not to romanticize chronic pain #but it really taught me some valuable things because i was forced to look inward #when you literally cannot move you only have one thing to do #think #think for months on end #and when that happens a lotta shit is revealed #when you're abled bodied you have the privilege of distraction #beddridden people don't have that privilege #thus you live in the mind trying to take refuge from the body #and now i know deep truths about myself #anyways yay pt!

[hey-moonwtf]

My new Steve/Joe drawing is starting to look so pretty 🥹

#my art #current wip #steve harrington #joe keery #fanart #my fanart #just like posting some of the works before they’re complete to try to push myself to finish #or to be like wow yay look I did so much when I finish

[misterradio]

its very nice to paint on my own instead of in a class bc when i was thinking about painting i kept thinking of all the unpleasant aspects of it, like mixing the colours, etc. but while doing it i realized i was not bound by any of the rules that my painting teacher set.. i think we had to pick a specific set of colours and stick with them per project? (like, this piece will be mostly primary, this will b tertiary, etc) and i /hated/ that cuz it felt way to restricting. i was like why cant i just do literally anything i want. WELL NOW I CAN 👍 still have to mix the colours though if i want to use these tubes up

#i think a key to enjoying painting is NOT! pushing for realism and lean more into styling it how i can. #i only have such small or large brushes and only so much hand control and i hate trying to render little details anyways. #so if i hate it i dont have to do it! boom! its my painting and i do what i want!!!!!!!! YAY #original nonsense #personal #i also need to make peace with my results. i always think that my art could be so much technically better if i just tried harder #but comparison is the KILLER OF CREATIVITY i cant be comparing myself to percieved better people. i must go my own way!!! #i gotta get inspired by other people not drag my own self down!!!!!!

[imwritesometimes]

my allergies are killing me my leg is still fucked up I want to crawl in bed and just watch my blorbos and then succumb to the horrors and vanish forever into my blankets

#having a normal one today ✌️🥴 #feeling very fuckin Not Great! idk how I pulled a muscle in my leg so bad like I didn't up the resistance on my bike #I wasn't trying to push myself harder or anything #my sinuses are so inflamed my teeth hurt (like every year! yay! joy! springtime!) #I quit. I'm gonna vacuum later and then I quit. I got all my other shit done today I'm officially going lump after vacuuming idgaf #erin explains it all

[toontowncreepypasta]

im like oumas whole “i HATE liars i detest them i hope they all kill themselves (literally can’t tell the truth to save his life)” except instead of lying its hating

#i HATE HATERS. I HATE THEM!!!!! (IS ALWAYS FUCKING HATING) #ughh #i had a bad week #got hired as a laundry guy house keeper and was like yay i like this. and the pay is good! #and then it just spiralled into them shoving a bunch of responsibilities on me and i didn't have it in me to say no or stay firm and they #kept pushing more on me and i was expected to help clean and change one of the residents without training #and had to clean up a residents room without being warned it was a hoarders room and they didn't know what was in there #and found a bunch of glass and untaken pills and. ugh. the whole thing was just #i would like for things to go normal sorryu for venting #im just stuck in this position where im like i don't know what to do i clearly am doing something to put myself in these situations without #realizing what im doing and im not doing the right things to keep myself safe but then how do i learn without going fucking insane #and im so triggered by everything and im so sensitive because all my traumas like resurfacing and im off testosterone so im getting my #period regularly which makes all my symptoms 100% worse AND usually i get fucking SICK too and i #hhhhhhhhhhHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGUHHGHGHGH #OH MY GODDDDDD #15

[aberooski]

Since today is Thanksgiving and all that, I'm thankful for the conversation I had with my sister yesterday that led to me figuring out a lot of stuff for my Stormshipping Cinderella au so I can start writing it a lot sooner than I thought I would because I'm slow as shit. Chazzerella is on the horizon! Next year babes 👀

#figured out some lore and logistic stuff that would bug me not to acknowledge #because my toxic trait as a writer is that I do the most appropriately all of the time #she also helped me work out specifically how to handle the glass slipper situation in conjuction with Light and Darkness Dragon so yay!! #if I decide to do the ygobb next year again I might save it for that like I did OUAD but I'm not sure if I'm gonna do it again #or maybe take a break this year since I've done it the last 5 years in a row #I haven't written anything not for the ygobb in so long I kinda wanna take a break and do stuff just for me again #because the time constraints are what make me burn out so hard because I'm pushing myself too hard to get done #in what feels like such a short amount of time when it's honestly hard for me to write shorter fics as much as I want to #anyway it's gonna be a great au and I'm excited #also I'm gonna be posting my Fatal Frame crossover as I write it after I get the first few chapters done #that way we can pretend to have some consistency but I miss just writing and posting whenever I feel like it and have the mental power #I miss having longevity I feel like all my fics die off really quickly because I had to adhere to the bb posting schedule #we had to post every single day if we had multichapter fics every year until this year but we had to have it all up within 4 weeks #so I wanted to post OUAD twice a week but it has 12 chapters so I had to do 3 times a week instead #I just don't have the longevity I wish I could have so I'm taking it back #basically this crossover and this au are me taking back my own fics and protecting my brain from having to push too hard all the time #I want to enjoy the actual writing process again I'm tired of feeling stressed and that I have to finish it asap #but fuck it right? #yugioh #yugioh gx #stormshipping #chazz princeton #atticus rhodes #yugioh gx fanfiction

[boop-your-dragons]

Day Two!

#bweirdoctober #oc-tober #my ocs #im not going to push myself to finish them #thats to much to ask #so i might finish them on my own time! #anyway #spark is for a world i havnt written any lore for and am still figuring out #yay #has 2 undrawn siblings #so i didnt include them #oh! #ref from line of action #my art

[sammydem0n64]

Honestly this artfight so far has been great! The last few times I’ve participated I got burnt out super quickly and basically dropped out like a week in and don’t check the site . But idk I’m very optimistic! Got six pieces out (three for each day) and got attacked a bunch!! Idk maybe the feeling of getting attacked so many times already w/o them being revenge attacks is keeping me going . either way its awesome

#Obvs not gonna push myself if I do wind up feeling burnt out but idk its nice #Maybe bc this school year was stressful as hell and now I have the free time to draw so many cool characters! And get art of my own ocs! Yay