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anxiously-sidequesting · 5 months

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My Personal Shadow Magic Headcanons - "Shadow Sickness"

I'm so autistic and lazy so here's another weirdly-worded headcanons post from me at 4 AM (lmk if I need to tag this as anything specific btw

What I'm personally calling "Shadow Sickness" is the official, prolonged version of Backlash - adverse effects that target the practitioner even outside of the duel circle and in their everyday lives. While "Backlash" refers to the immediate and spontaneous barrage of attacks that takes place after a Shadow spell, "Shadow Sickness" is the gradual deterioration of the practitioner's mind, body, and soul. True to the name, this effect likens more to an illness, a virus; something that's alive and slowly takes over until there is nothing healthy left behind. The symptoms are emotional, physical, mental, and even spiritual.

While regular Magic has life force within it, Shadow Magic is the only type of magic that can be considered "sentient". Not a thinking being with goals and plans, but something living and breathing with the most basic instincts. It's what's considered "Chaotic" and dangerous about it - the Wizard bends and controls regular Magic, but Shadow Magic can bend and control the Wizard. It is the only type of magic that can "fight back" in its own way.

This sentience is what allows for Shadow Sickness and Backlash to happen - these are purely just the results of it "fighting back". The Shadow Magic is reacting to the practitioner. It's acting by its nature by rearing its head back and snapping the hand that controls it. If the practitioner is NOT sound and secure in their mental, physical, and spiritual health, then Backlash and Shadow Sickness can cause even more adverse effects within the Wizard and as a result can suffer more severely.

Symptoms of Shadow Sickness

Symptoms of Shadow Sickness can vary between physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. The "virus" affects every single aspect of the being, down to their very life. The severity of these symptoms can also vary depending on certain variables. Unlike a true virus, Shadow Sickness has no "incubation period" and can flare up at any time during which the Wizard is practicing Shadow Magic. These symptoms include:

Physical scarring (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual) - one of the only symptoms that comprise of all four categories. Scars may appear on the Wizard's body that take various shapes and forms: most commonly taken after that individual's unsolved trauma. This includes old grudges, previous serious injuries that have not healed correctly, repressed memories, obsessions and delusions, etc. No two scars look the same (i.e. two different wizards who have a fear of spiders will have scars that look entirely different from the other). Depending on the severity these scars can cause physical discomfort (tingling, numbness, pain, leathery skin, decay/cellular deterioration) and can greatly impact how the Wizard looks to others to how the Wizard can move around.

Involuntary movements (physical, mental, spiritual) - the Wizard may begin suffering from accidental and spontaneous gestures and movement that is either randomized or triggered. This can include loss of coordination, disorientation, mini seizures, jerks and spasms, etc. Other than being physically affected, the Wizard is not suffering from any medical emergencies. The individual is fully conscious and aware when this happens and depending on the severity, can recover seconds after. This is one of the only symptoms where others could be harmed due to a wayward hand that comes flying out by accident. There is also a magical version of this, where involuntary spells or bursts of magic can be cast spontaneously (hence the 'spiritual' aspects of this symptom as mana comes from the soul). Usually these magical bursts are Shadow Magic and not the Wizard's primary or secondary Magic abilities. (Another involuntary trait recorded is the Wizard suddenly switching to an ancient "Shadow Language" in mid-speech.)

Hallucinations (physical, mental) - the Wizard may begin to experience things that cannot be detected by any other individual. Usually these hallucinations start out as smells or taste first, but there are reports of the Wizard hearing, sensing, and even seeing things to start out with. Contrary to popular belief not all hallucinations are violent or even turn out to be that way, some reports even describe them as pleasant. Hallucinations vary from each Wizard even with those who share the same traumas or fears. Depending on the severity of the symptoms, the Wizard can either be fully aware or completely immersed within them. Since these are only hallucinations they cannot harm the Wizard but can cause further deterioration to the mind.

Depleted energy/"Mana Loss" (physical, spiritual) - as the Shadow Sickness takes hold, eventually the Wizard will be slowly sapped of strength and magical energy. THIS IS DIFFERENT FROM IF THE WIZARD IS SKILLED IN SHADOW MAGIC. A Wizard can practice Shadow Magic and still NOT be affected by this. Since Shadow Magic "takes", Shadow Sickness does the same and gradually depletes the Wizard's energy. Like how Backlash takes health in a duel, Shadow Sickness takes your life. This is the only symptom that is constant in all cases of Shadow Sickness. Not only will the ability to cast spells be taken away, but overall physical health will suffer as well and the individual is more susceptible to regular diseases due to a compromised immune system. This symptom only appears in the very last stages of Shadow Sickness and is the last symptom of the individual experiences in their lifetime.

Tulpas (emotional, mental, spiritual) - contrasting hallucinations, Tulpas are the Wizard's visions made real. A Tulpa (from Shadow Sickness) is a physical and magical manifestation of the Wizard suffering from the Shadow "virus". Although it is born from the subconscious of another being, it is a separate entity all its own and has the ability to make decisions and have feelings and desires. However, these feelings and desires are not really of their own and reflect the Wizard's subconscious fears and threat responses. (i.e. our Azteca Tulpa in Khrysalis that formed due to unresolved survivor's guilt. Its "goal" was to destroy us and fully consume us within itself, similar to how guilt behaves in reality). Tulpas can either be created from visions, nightmares, intense and obsessive thoughts, or even previous hallucinations.

Can Shadow Sickness be reversed, or cured?

Shadow Sickness can be reversed, yes, or more commonly halted. Unless the Wizard is fully submersed in their mental and spiritual anguish ((Malistaire even though he wasn't using shadow magic; Morganthe even though that wasn't what killed her)) Shadow Sickness can be stopped. The road to recovery varies wildly from each person so there is no set "recovery time" in which you are expected to be fully healed. It is your own journey and it is ultimately your say whether or not you are better. Clinically, recovery can be sorted between these categories

HALTED: In which the Shadow Sickness is no longer infecting the individual but the symptoms may still persist. These symptoms do not get worse or better, but the Wizard's mind is clear and their soul is at peace. Wizards may either learn to live comfortably and adapt with their Halted condition or could continue to strive for partial or full recovery.

PARTIAL RECOVERY: In which the Shadow Sickness is reversed slightly or moderately. The effects are not all the way gone but are measured to be better than when the Wizard was still infected. In this state any severe symptoms the Wizard is experiencing are now moderate or slight, or less frequent. Just like in the Halted category, the Wizard is sound of mind, body, and soul.

FULL RECOVERY: In which Shadow Sickness is totally reversed and there are no more symptoms that persist. Full, 100% recovery is actually quite rare in the Spiral and a lot of scholars consider the Full Recovery to count as "70% or more reduced" - meaning the symptoms are very slight and few and far in between. Technically this is still a Partial Recovery but due to the above fact and how difficult it is to reverse Shadow Sickness, 'Full Recovery' is an umbrella term. Some individuals even claim Full Recovery even if their symptoms are moderate, because their mind and soul are no longer diseased.

ONE LAST FACT TO LEAVE OFF WITH: Not every Wizard who practices Shadow Magic suffers from Shadow Sickness, and alternatively even the most skilled Shadowmage can develop Shadow Sickness.

okay this took days. bye hope you liked this

#btw tagging some of these symptoms jic theyre triggering to some #tw seizures #tw hallucinations #lmk if i need to tag anything else #BUT YEAH THIS IS IT #i got lazy at the end but i def wanna expand on this #a few things i wanna talk about more in depth: the 'shadow language' thing and the 'mana comes from the soul' thing #BUT THIS WAS SUPER FUN TO MAKE #giving holly even MORE trauma #due to canon reasons and because i love suffering holly isnt even in the “halted” category #theyre still suffering from ongoing shadow sickness. its progressing a hell of a lot slower than others but shes def feeling it #due to ambrose's thinky veiled threat of always being watched and everyone else unintentionally-#-brushing aside holly's health the shadow sickness remains undetected #except for velma. she sees that shit #but since holly is the master of bottling things up theyre like “ahaha what virus” (throws up black blood)#holly has the scarring as the worst symptom and has a few specific scars i wanna talk about in another post #but they also suffer from hallucinations and the shadow language thing #since holly is unintentionally holding off the worst of the Sickness she doesnt have the mana depletion yet #i think i forgot like maybe one or two symptoms but im so tired ugh. this is all yall are getting for now LMAO #idk if this is even a good post. im proud of it #one symptom i forgot to mention is madness. or i think thats the end result same as depletion #its what morganthe suffered dueing the end of her life as a giant apider creature she just fully succumbed to the madness #wizard101 #w101 #wiz101 #text posts

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flipside-phoebe · 3 months

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I feel like such a black sheep in this fandom because I'm not attracted to any of the characters...

Then again, I suppose that's the common experience for aros/aces in any space.

#Mera's rants #No I don't want to [REDACTD] Egon #I wanna watch his grandkids go on wacky adventures #I am here for different reasons than the rest of you #It's so frustrating and so alienating #I thought this would be a break from that stuff #I did find another aroace GB fan but I had to block them for holding bigoted beliefs against other lgbt folks #I'm still heartbroken about it #might delete this later hmmm

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itsays · 6 months

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everyone being so ok with the way things are between nick and boston being short term boyfriends and then boston moving away and nick dating dan is sooooooooooo funny to me. not saying is bad writing at all or that you guys are crazy for liking it. i however like boston and nick in a completely different astral realm i fear. i need them to die for each other i need nick's infatuation to destroy them both literally like let's get into codependency baby!

#ofts #i do like the idea of the so called nasty4nasty #however that's not even the main appeal of them to me. to me it's how devoted nick is to boston #knowinh all of his flaws and knowing he will never give him what he needs #and boston walking a line between actually caring for him and just taking advantage of his feelings for him #OBSESSED WITH THEM #nick is gonna be so absolutely miserable with dan btw i cant believe people think he likes him #girl that is a rebound #nick knows he cant have boston so he's going for dan #absolutely no emotional intelligence whatsoever i love him #also another reason i dont want boston to move to ny is bc first of all why would you wanna live there no offense BUT SECONDLY #i deserve a second season #you guys are FOOLS who havent watched friendzone which is the only reason you think only friends s2 cant work.#it can. and it can be even better #but WHATEVER you guys dont know real television

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zuble · 7 months

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for people who have played fangans: which one is your favorite? because truthfully i’ve never been into them, but since i’m making one myself, i would feel better seeing someone else’s.

(also i had a dream that i played one and it was very good. maybe that’s a sign that i’ll enjoy it)

#i know weebynewz has played a few #but the thought of watching all of them is intimidating so i want just one #EDIT: i wanna clarify. ‘never been into them myself but making them anyways’ sounds pretentious and hypocritical #what i meant was that i LOVE the concept of them. i was just afraid of watching/playing them myself #because i was so attached to the characters from the original series #so i didn’t have it in me to get into another series with the same rules and concepts but different characters #it’s similar to the reason i’m not into fanfics. i just prefer what i already know #but i’m moving past that now that i want to create my own #again i LOVE the concept sm that i just have to try it myself

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stairset · 8 months

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I realize this could get me crucified in certain circles but as good as Andor was I really do think its fans can be truly insufferable.

#i'm sorry but so many andor fans just have this snobby ass attitude about it #and feel the need to act as if it's The Only Good Star Wars Thing Ever Made #and every other star wars thing should copy it #because clearly if the show's style works for THAT story it MUST work for every story right #it was annoying when the show was airing and it's annoying now #like idk maybe the people who described it as ''star wars for people who hate star wars'' weren't that far off #i already talked about all this in another post a while back #but y'know a new show just came out which means i have to put up with it again #even though there's really no reason to compare andor and ahsoka outside of ''they're both star wars shows''#and most of it is just people bitching that ahsoka is more reference-heavy #which as i've also pointed out in previous shows. it's a sequel.#a sequel continues the story of a previous work that's literally the entire fucking point #like i'm sorry but when it comes to this show specifically i do not give a solitary FUCK about the casual viewer #it has been very explicitly and unambiguously billed as a direct sequel to rebels from the start #and it was announced 3 years ago which is more than enough time to get caught up #no one is forcing you to watch the sequel before the thing it's a sequel to #as far as i'm concerned if you watch a sequel before the first one that's entirely on you #you knew what you were getting into and you have forfeited any right to bitch about being confused #but anyway back to andor i'm not gonna let people being annoying about it affect my enjoyment of it #cause it IS a good show and i don't wanna end up resenting it just cause people are pretentious asses about it #but yeah i think certain people could maybe stand to get off their fucking high horses over star wars spin-off shows #shut up tristan

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bleuberrygliscor · 8 days

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im out of the "information/ fact checking" game, but im begging yall to look into not just the sources of the articles you like and reblog, but the people who wrote them too.

#rem rambles #this just in. libertarians dont have the capacity for nuance. sorry.#thats a conservative that doesnt want to be ''called'' a conservative. they are just as trash as the rest of them.#there is room for a conversation about how many people are pro-hamas. and how you should really not equate hamas to palestine #there is ALSO room for a conversation about how ungodly demonic the idf is and how that barbarism is pushing people behind hamas #there is ALSO room for the realization that making everywhere EXCEPT israel unsafe for jewish people is EXACTLY what israel wants to do.#so the insanity of the idf makes sense. to stoke the flames. to make it worse. to actively sow dissent and hatred towards jewish people.#and placing that blame on people who are reacting to watching one country starve another and are grasping at anyone to root for- yeah i #can get why people are just blindly like 'houthi's r good!' because no one else is standing up to israel like them. you dont wait for #the perfect team to root for. would it be best if hamas stopped? and then what? exactly.#i can sit here and say ''i support palestine but i do not like hamas' tactics in more recent history. i also am not the biggest fan of #the houthis or hezbollah. i understand why they do what they do and their reasoning for it- but golly their politics are not good.''#and in the time it took me to say that one sentence israel has leveled another city block and had another tantrum about children being fed.#''and rep. ilhan omar's child was arrested-'' was that fun fact just there for giggles or was it there to pretend like antisemetism is #already so violently rooted in democrats in congress and the ONLY resolution to your jewish siblings is to REMOVE them.#and if you DONT root out these antisemites from the left (ignore the ones on the right tho) then YOURE bad and wrong. you dont wanna #be bad AND wrong :(((

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lonelyworld · 11 days

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#personal #im so fucking sick of people #like i try to go out and do stuff and talk to people but when i try i js feel like people are mocking me #like yesterday i was returning a flare tights that i bought online and i usually hateee returning stuff #but i went to the physical store to return it and the woman at the register was so meannn #like i have curly long hair and it sheds more than ”normal“ hair ig and there was ONE strand of hair on the tights and she plucked it off #like slow and dramatic and looked at me with disgust #and then she held the pants up and there was like a piece of cotton or whatever its called on it and she plucked it off and she looked so #disgusted and she js talked to me in the worst tone but i finally got it returned #and there were so many people in line behind me #i just wanted to cry #and another thing #i hate going outside where i live bc my friend knows someone who lives in the building next to mine and that friend is like oddly obsessed #with me for some reason #and shes literally filmed me one time when i was on the same bus as her and sent it to my friend #and my friend thought it was hilarous #and my friend has only told me about her filming me once so idk if shes done it other times #but its so fucking uncomfortable and i already struggle sm with paranoia and feeling like im being watched #i just wanna isolate myself and hide from everyone im so fucking tired

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aria0fgold · 17 days

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Filtering dcmk movie tags is always something...

How many more do I have to add to keep the spoilers at bay??? I had to add two just now.

#aria rants #frankly i rarely use the filtering tag feature unless its something i Really need to filter #and like-- as much as the revelation in m27 killed part of my interest to dcmk. i still love it anyway #and im not rlly one for spoilers but if i see Anything related to the movie im gonna end up #hyping myself up and then just vibrate in place cuz no matter how badly i wanna watch #the movie i cant-- cuz id have to wait ANOTHER YEAR for it to be available with proper eng subs #and higher quality than a cam rip in anime sites so like-- my patience is tested badly #and yea i have the circus show filtered for personal reasons (i dont like it...)

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florida3exclamationpoints · 9 months

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I still watch marvel movies because my partner likes them and sometimes I enjoy them. I'm not about to deprive myself unnecessarily of anything that brings me joy

Exactly!!! I was a little too young to be interested in marvel during its peak popularity I think, when I started watching the movies it was 2016. And I had soooo many people be like HOW HAVE YOU NOT SEEN IRON MAN????? bro bc I was like 5 when Iron Man came out sorry. It became a genuine interest of mine later than was mainstream and now marvel is smth to be laughed at and everyone (especially my age I think?? I feel like gen z HATES marvel with a passion) expects you to hate it. And I find it so interesting bc Endgame is the highest grossing movie of all time and yet,, the most widely hated in a way??? Idk if it's bc people don't wanna like things that are popular ?? I probably see more hate than the average person bc i engage with the marvel fandom but I remember people in real life hating it. The criticisms of the cgi and disney as a company etc etc are valid but the rest of Disney hasn't been written off the same way. I complain about some things they've done to characters bc the characters are really important to me! So I hold onto the fact that they created characters that are really important to me! I personally HATE kevin feige (president of marvel) I think he's an idiot and doesn't know what he's doing 💔 and yet I generally enjoy most marvel content. He's behind all of it. If they ever completely ruin it for me then I'll stop and I get that it's been completely ruined for some people but I think it's crazy how it just switched to being the Thing To Hate

#sorry no one asked for a rant #it doesn't matter that much but it irks me!!! that things get soooo trendy and you get sooooo judged for not going with the trends #it irks me that so many people turned on marvel for no reason bc they dont deserve that!#theyve done things they deserve criticism for but use that against them. dont just complain about the humor (????)#its like with greys anatomy #i dont watch anything after derek dies bc its not worth it anymore to me #its destroyed after that #but i have a lot of complaints about seasons 9 through 11 #just. up until that point it was still redeemable #once it wasn't i stopped watching #thats what ill do with marvel #i wont deny that there's been issues and some people have issues with things i disagree with but theyre still valid #but so much of the hate train is just!!!! that people wanna be cool and different its not backed up with anything #its annoying!!!!!!#lol i apologized for ranting and continued with another rant #anyway ❤️#marvel

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rmorde · 4 months

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It's fucking wild to see someone defend Mei Mei and demand people to blame Gege instead for her pedophilia and grooming.

WTF?

If you love a dark character, then accept everything that they are in the story. Mei Mei is one. She is a side character that is dark despite being on the heroes' side of the fight.

I appreciate what Gege had done to her character. I like it because thru her we see how rotten the modern jujutsu society is - that the heroes' side is not exactly great especially with the likes of Gojo and Nanami being gone.

A lot of people already pointed out that Mei is used as a foil for Nanami. I agree. She is everything he is not: - Nanami left stock trading. Mei is doing insider trading. - Nanami fights for the greater good. Mei is only in it for the paycheck. - Nanami protects children. Mei exploits children. - Nanami continues to fight even if he is half-dead. Mei retreats even if she is still perfectly fine. - Nanami has morals. Mei is immoral.

But why did someone good (Nanami) die a horrible death while someone bad (Mei Mei) got rewarded (practically highlighted with her escaping to Malaysia -which was Nanami's dream retirement place)? It's to highlight how broken and bleak jujutsu society is - bad people benefit but good people suffer. It also shows how the only difference between the sorcerers (sans our "heroes") and the curse users are just rule compliance and pay checks.

Speaking of which:

What Mei Mei is doing to Ui Ui is exactly like what that Granny Seance did to her Tojified Grandson. Both women are grooming boys younger than they into perfect tools to complement their CTs. They don't see them as brother or grandson respectively. Those words are mere "titles". It's like how you would call an giant axe "Axe" and straw dolls "Dolls."

Mei is the perfect example of what a peak sorcerer is in modern jujutsu society - strong and smart but selfish, self-absorbed, exploitative, and immoral.

I like Mei for what she delivers in the story: 1) A very dark character that represents the rotten core of the jujutsu society. 2) A complex female character - she is on your side but she is definitely not an ally you'd want. However, you need all the help you can get so you are forced to accept her but deep down you want her to get some comeuppance for all she's been doing. 3) Despite her... Mei-ness, she still has a really cool character design and powers as well as really badass scenes. 4) An excellent foil to Nanami (and maybe even Gojo if I stretch it a bit). 5) A great reminder that with the exception of the sorcerers within Gojo's close circle (Tokyo Tech staff/alumni + Utahime & her students), sorcerers are absolute scumbags. Mei's principle is pretty similar to Sukuna's! They're all about: Me, Myself, and I living it up and having fun at everyone's expense.

6) She is the closest I could get to a "villainess" in JJK. The villains in JJK is male-dominated with 2 gender-neutrals (Hanami + Uraume). Geto's family has very little screen time for me to get something out of them (Lady Secretary, Nanako & Mimiko). Yeah it's shonen but still... Gege is starving me with good villainesses 😭.

So TLDR: Mei Mei is not defensible but feel free to like/love her anyway. Being a fan of villains or dark characters is not a representation of a person's morals after all. Do not blame Gege for using her as a narrative tool to remind people again ( because we have to admit that we always kinda forget): the world of JJK is unfair and it really fucking sucks being a nice person there. Not that Gege is a perfect writer at all. There are plenty of other stuff to be angry about in his work like the pacing for example or the underutilization of interesting side characters or the story being so "scattered" into various mediums.

#sorry for the rant #it was just such a wild 'defense'#it was just pure wtf for me #blame the author for making a dark character?#what? this is a horror manga #characters like that is a given #gege just shook things up because it turns out one of the heroes' allies has very dark morality #i think maybe the reasons gojo and nanami and co. have not done anything about ui ui's situation are:#first - there really isn't anything they can do coz mei already has excellent control over him. ui ui won't allow himself to be 'saved'#second - mei hid her grooming very well and no one was aware of it #third - they can't be choosy w/ their allies coz of how few sorcerers are. they let her be so she stays a sorcerer AND NOT A CURSE USER.#i could also talk about in here the insane hot take that 'gojo is a groomer' and that's just no just fucking no wtf is even that take?!#but that ridiculous take is another whole can of worms that i seriously don't wanna get into rn #even if it is one of my pet peeves along with 'gojo has god complex' & 'yuki is at fault for geto mass killing' & the weirdest of all:#'geto was not really trying to kill gojo and his allies and his students' hot take... DID WE EVEN WATCH THE SAME MOVIE?! I SWEAR I aflkhdfa

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