#so i hope the length doesn't scare people off too much

[fanfoolishness]

I've been meaning to dive into how much I love Cal and Cere's tension, and their relationship, in Fallen Order. It's so well-written and well-acted, and I love how much both of them grow throughout their time together. Buckle in, folks, this is a long one!

Here, Cal's just been rescued by the Mantis crew after being kidnapped to fight the Haxion Brood. This is something he has every right to be furious at Greez about. Greez's gambling debts led the Brood to put out bounties on him, and when they couldn't get him, they snagged a kid who just happened to fall into Greez's orbit. Cal and BD-1 were both at risk of losing their lives for Greez's mistakes. While Greez is appropriately apologetic, Cal barely even pays attention. He stares at Cere, his shoulders slumped, expression barely hiding his hurt.

He's still reeling from what he learned on Zeffo the day before. From who he learned it from.

The Second Sister cornered and nearly killed him, goading him about being a weak Padawan, about Jaro Tapal. But she also revealed that she was Cere's former Padawan, that Cere had lied to Cal, and that Cere was responsible for what had happened to Trilla.

This devastates Cal.

He holds it together as much as he can. While still on Zeffo, he allows himself a moment of real vulnerability, asking quietly, "Cere, why didn't you tell me?" But by the time he's rescued from the Brood, that vulnerability shifts into disappointment and a desperate hope that somehow Trilla was lying to him.

I love what they do with him here. He's sarcastic. Angry. "I had a nice chat with the Second Sister." He waits a second to drop the bomb. "Trilla." This is Cal Kestis at his most teenaged, snarky and hurt and venomous. He still keeps it reeled in -- he did grow up a Jedi, after all, he's not gonna cuss her out or anything absurd like that -- but he's so human here, and so young.

There's that desperate hope. He asks Cere if it's true, if she really betrayed Trilla to the Empire.

But Cere, for her part, can't go there yet. How she can explain to this traumatized Padawan whose connection to the Force is still so fragile, that not all masters sacrificed themselves for their Padawans? How can she admit it to herself? She tries to deflect and to tell Cal that Trilla would do anything to compromise their mission, because she can't yet say "Yes. I tried to protect her, and I failed, and she paid the price." Because who can just say that? Who can take a look at the lowest they have ever been and stare at it with the cold light of honesty and say yes, the bad things you've heard about me are absolutely true? And imagine trying to do that when you're also trying to make amends, to move forward, to protect other children -- and you know that that protection starts right here, right now, with this one boy, and you've got to do anything you can to earn his trust?

So she deflects, and avoids saying anything of substance, and Cal's having none of it.

Check the subtitle here. We got the ?! in the house!!! Cal has to know, how can she not know how important this is? Because now that he's off Bracca, the safety valve's gone. He's got to do something of meaning now, got to help people the way he should have been doing all along. His own survival? Fine. Who needs it now. If he can just do something meaningful, if he can just keep someone else from having to go through what he did, then by the Force he's going to do it. Once in motion a Cal Kestis in motion must stay in motion, for the alternative is terrifying.

"Is it true?!" and he doesn't know what to think about the former Jedi before him, if he can trust anything she'd told him so far, if she'll protect him if the time comes, if she'll give in to the Empire again. He's pissed off and wounded and scared. Cere and Trilla's relationship has nothing to do with him and everything to do with him.

And Cere just acquiesces that Trilla was her apprentice, and Cal snaps, "You should have told me."

They don't get any more time to deal with it, because Kashyyyk needs them.

If you keep having Cal and Cere interact after this point, Cal is noticeably brittle. Cere tries to apologize, but Cal has thrown up his walls, deciding that fine, this is how it is now, and the trust they were starting to share is over. He doesn't want to talk about it when Cere tries to bring it up... but he lets Greez see how hurt he still is. That's safer than trying to talk to Cere about it directly.

Compare Cal asking why she couldn't tell him, and sharing how he feels like she broke their sense of being a team...

... To Cal's response after Cere admits she should have told him the truth from the beginning. That's what he said earlier that he wanted, but here, he's having none of it. It's too hard to get into with her. He's too afraid of what he'll find if they're really honest at this point, so he tries to shift the focus back to the mission. Things are broken between him and Cere, fine, but they can still do their work. He clings to that. As hurt as Cal is, he knows what they're doing still makes sense, and he still wants to fight against the Empire. If he has to do that with someone he can't trust, well, so be it.

And Cere understands. Despite her fear of going into the truth, she knows she's the one with greater wisdom and experience here. She doesn't tell him he's being a petulant child about something that has nothing to do with him, or tell him he needs to get over it. If she can't be fully honest with him, not yet, she does an admirable job of being otherwise open and accepting of his feelings. She knows he'll either come around, or he won't, and all she can do is offer the space for him to do so.

By the end of the second Kashyyyk mission, Cere's hoping that enough time has passed that maybe Cal's ready to hear more. Perhaps she's also guilty that Trilla went after him again, and that the Ninth Sister also put Cal's life in danger. Whatever the reason, she tries to reach out to him again. She gives more explanation that she has so far, and you can see just how difficult this is for her. All three characters are acted so well here -- Greez awkwardly in the middle putting way too much salt on his food, Cere's halting explanation, and Cal's completely closed off body language. H

ell, we practically even get an eye roll from him. Yeah. This dude's still a teenager.

...but one who's acting this way out of hurt, and out of not knowing/being afraid to know the whole story. Once you know everything that happened to Cere and Trilla, it's not wrong to want to shake Cal and tell him to be more understanding! They were in an impossible situation! There was no way to win and they both lost!

But he doesn't know that, and at this point, it's easier -- less painful for him -- not to know. So he tells Cere it's okay, but the message is, I don't want to hear it. He's been thinking about it all along when he goes off on his missions, and he's come to the conclusion that yeah, Cere probably did the best she could, there's no point dwelling on it, and that's good enough to go on with the mission. It's fine. (He's fine.)

And then we get... Dathomir and Kujet's Tomb, and all of Cal's efforts to move forward in the Force, to be strong when Cere let him down, to focus on the mission, it all goes to hell.

Suddenly Cal's the one overwhelmed by regret and self-blame. He's forced to examine his own darkest day, and when confronted with it, he falls apart. He's heartbroken all over again and convinced that what happened to Master Tapal was entirely his own fault, even though Cere tries to absolve him by telling him the truth, that he was just a child. Cal can't hear a thing she's saying.

Both actors here are so, so good. Cal is scared and small and a hurt, grieving child so desperate to find a sense of control about what happened that he blamed himself. His voice breaks, he hunkers down into himself, he holds his ruined lightsaber as tight as he can. And Cere finally lets the poison spill out, the self-hatred she's been carrying so long, she gets down on his level and manages to say everything she's been holding in. It comes out in a frantic, breathless rush, and honestly, both of them bring tears to my eyes in this scene.

So she's finally open. Finally lays it all out. What happened to her, how she used the dark side, how she failed both Trilla and herself.

More importantly, both for herself and for Cal, she reveals how she kept going. How she found a new hope. How she decided that this was not the end of her story.

Now we see what Cere was like as a Jedi truly. She's compassionate, but commanding. She instructs Cal to get up. Tells him he's going to make a new lightsaber. That it isn't over. That he can move on. He just has to take the first step.

And Cal wipes the tears from his eyes, and nods, and he believes her.

The lesson stays with him. He always was a fast learner. He goes to Ilum and rebuilds his lightsaber, goes to Dathomir and confronts his past again and this time succeeds. He learns that failure is not the end, but a part of the path. He starts to thaw towards Cere, grateful that she didn't turn away from him when he fell to his lowest and confessed what had happened to Master Tapal.

Then Trilla confronts him on Bogano, and he sees what happened first hand.

The entire sequence is gutting. Trilla's fear and agony are palpable, and Cere's devastation -- both emotional and dark side -- are so painful to see. Cal's utterly overwhelmed by it, sent into a partial seizure from the intensity of the flashback. (That dazed expression afterward sure looked post-ictal to me.) And when he gets back to the Mantis, bereft a Holocron, instead of telling Cere the next thing they need to do for the mission....

Cal Kestis halts everything because he has to apologize.

He wastes no time. He tells Cere immediately he saw what they went through. He says "I'm so sorry." And he takes responsibility for his own behavior, that arrogance that he clung to that told him he would never fail someone that way.

The thing is, Cere was comfortable never hearing this apology from him. She had started making peace with it, ever since Dathomir, with what she had done. She never expected him to empathize like this, but hearing it must have been such a powerful, emotional feeling. It's only after Cal apologizes and makes things right between them that he goes forward to discuss what happened to the Holocron and what they need to do next.

When it's Cere who takes the news hard, who blames herself... look who's there, reflecting his master's teachings right back at her. He tells her that mistakes are in the past, that they're in this together, that she won't be going after the Holocron alone; he even reaches out and puts a hand on her shoulder, starting to grow from a mentee to an equal, to someone who can support her as she's been supporting him.

Seeing how Cal lifts Cere up during her darkest time, both here on the Mantis and later in Nur, as a reflection of what she did for him after Dathomir... I could scream about it, okay??? In fact I have been screaming about it! Right here! In this post! For several thousand words!!! Just seeing these two respect each other! Care for each other! Lift each other up!!! I can't even with it! They have both grown SO MUCH!

SHE'S SO PROUD OF HIM JUST LOOK

and then she KNIGHTS HIM and my heart just bursts with pride at how far they've both come, Cere finally embracing the Force again, Cal kneeling to accept a Knighthood he thought he would never, ever see....

you can't tell me he wasn't tearing up here. I saw how bright they made his eyes look in this split second. YOU CAN'T FOOL ME. Damn, I wish I could gif the little looks on his face right at this moment, because you can see so many emotions wash over him. Cameron Monaghan over here just exploding my heart. This kid!!!

...

anyway, I think that's all I've got. Just... CAL AND CERE! They mean a lot to me, okay???

#jedi: fallen order #jedi fallen order #jedi fallen order meta #jedi: fallen order meta #cal kestis #cere junda #my jedi posts #this took me entirely too long #like two hours ahahahaha #so i hope the length doesn't scare people off too much #i just had a lot of feelings after beating the game a second time and had to shriek about them for a bit

[mypoisonedvine]

81:"just come to dinner with me. it doesn't have to be weird." 89:"keep the lights on, I want to see you." 88:"kiss me like you mean it." With Jack Whiskey or maxwell Lord.

Hope your having a lovley day<3

-❄

I know he's not everybody's favorite but I want a sugar daddy maxwell fic sooo bad! to make it fair I decided to take some liberties with his look lmao

length: 2.5k (no clue how that happened...)

warnings: smut (18+ ONLY), oral f receiving, sugar daddy relationship, alcohol consumption, possessiveness <3

You’d never done anything like this before— you made that perfectly clear to him, to the point that you wondered if it would scare him off.  But it didn’t, which was equal parts comforting and concerning.

However, even with all your complex emotions towards the idea, you agreed to it.  Just come to dinner with me, he’d told you, it doesn’t have to be weird.  Nothing has to happen— it’s just dinner, no expectations.

That relieved you enough to get you to go out with him.  He’s not expecting anything, you promised yourself, it’s just dinner.  Nothing has to happen.

But you still put on your nicest lingerie under your dress… just in case.

The whole thing made you feel out of place, honestly: you’d never been to a restaurant this nice, you’d never worn a designer gown before (let alone one that someone had picked out and sent to you for your first date), you’d never been picked up by a private driver—you didn’t even know what to do when you got to the restaurant, so you were a bit relieved (if certainly surprised) when you walked in and they seemed to already know you.

The host greeted you by name, took your coat, and informed you that Mr. Lord is already waiting for you at his usual table.  That made you wonder if a girl like you was his usual guest.

Your heart picked up its pace when you saw him from across the restaurant; he looked like he fit right in, with his hair slicked back in a black tux.  He looked so natural like that, you couldn’t even imagine him without a tux.  (Well, you could, but you were trying not to.)

But, your heart didn’t really start racing until he saw you.  His eyes lit up, and a tilted smile filled his face as he stood to greet you.

“Don’t you look gorgeous!” he purred, leaning in to kiss your cheek as you approached— even that caught you off-guard, but you realized it wasn’t meant to be especially flirtatious, it was just one of those rich people greetings.  Then again, the arm that reached around you so his hand could rest momentarily on your lower back felt a bit more than friendly.  “You like the dress?”

“Y-yes, thank you,” you smiled nervously as you looked down at the floor-length black gown again, “it’s beautiful.  And more comfortable than it looks.”

He laughed a bit, squeezing your arm briefly before gesturing for you to take your seat.  One waiter was already pouring your water and another was draping a white napkin over your lap and pushing in your seat;  “White or red, miss?” the one pouring drinks asked.

“O-oh, um—” you began, but Maxwell interrupted.

“Why don’t you bring her a glass of the ’61 Chateau Haut-Brion?” he suggested.  “To go with mine.”

“Of course, sir,” the waiter nodded, and soon him and his fellow servers departed.

“I hope you don’t mind,” Maxwell addressed you again, “the house wines are fine— but I think you’ll like this one, it’s excellent.”

“Oh, I trust you,” you smiled, “you know a lot more about all this than me.”

“Try not to feel too intimidated,” he assured, “almost everyone here is worrying just as much as you about looking like they belong—probably even more than you are.  The only difference is, you actually have enough beauty to not be outshined by a place like this.”

A little uncomfortable with the compliment, you looked around the modern space— so much glass and crystal sparkling under pleasantly-dim lights, with a view out over the ocean just outside the window you’d been seated against.  It was sleek and ornate all at once.  “It really is a lovely place, thank you for taking me here,” you announced.

“Oh, I come here all the time— more than I should,” he laughed.  “I’ll warn you now, you might become addicted once you get a taste.”

A brief moment passed before he quirked a brow.

“Of the food, I mean,” he winked, and you giggled a bit.

“Right— should I, um, look at a menu?” you wondered.

“It’s actually a set course tonight,” he explained, “I hope you don’t mind.  Honestly, I prefer not having to think about it— and the chef here never misses.  He’s a good friend, actually.”

“I get the feeling you’re good friends with a lot of people,” you observed, and he gave you a knowing smile.

“Should I be offended?” he asked.

“No,” you laughed, “but you seem like you’re always getting in places, always getting special treatment or private access— ‘cause the theater owner is a good friend, the executive producer is a good friend…”

“You make me sound much more popular than I am,” he shrugged.

The waiter returned with a bottle in hand, showing the label to you and Maxwell.  “The Chateau Haut-Brion you requested, Mr. Lord?”

“Fabulous, thank you,” Maxwell smiled as the waiter uncorked the bottle and poured glasses for you both.

“The first course will be out shortly,” the man explained before he departed; you reached for your glass, about to take a sip, but your date raised his own.

“A toast,” he suggested, making you stop pulling your glass closer and holding it up in anticipation instead, “to… new friends.”

You smiled and clinked your glass against his.

~

You tried not to look too starstruck as you looked around the penthouse apartment, but it was hard to hide your awe at all the fine art on the walls, the floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the glittery city below, the vintage and baroque furniture…

“I haven’t been here in a few weeks,” he explained as he sauntered inside after letting you in, “forgive me if it looks a little barren— I’ve been in my home in California for some time to manage my work there, I only visit my apartments occasionally—”

“You have more than one?!” you realized, unable to suppress the urge to gawk, and he smiled as you looked back over your shoulder at him.

“I have quite a few properties, yes,” he nodded.  “Miami, Berlin, Hong Kong— all of these, of course, would be available to you whenever you’d like to visit, if you were to…”

He trailed off, approaching you as his eyes darkened a bit.  “If I was to…?” you prompted.

You shivered slightly when he reached up to run his fingers gently along the curve of your jaw.  “If you were to accept my offer.”

You swallowed, turning to face him properly, and sighed when his other hand came to rest on your waist.  “A-and, if I was to…” you trailed off, apparently still not proud enough to say it, “would there be… anyone else?”

“No,” he shook his head, “not for either of us.  That’s not what I want.”

He’d explained to you before, in a few different ways, what he did want.  He’d explained that he enjoyed ‘dating’ this way because it took out the guesswork, because he was too busy for a traditional relationship.  He needed a partner who could work around his complex schedule— and to soften the blow, he would send gifts to fill the time while he was gone.  All he really asked was that you stay ready and waiting for him to return— or even to be ready to drop everything and hop on a private jet to come see him wherever he was when he needed you most.

The look in his eyes certainly showed that he needed you now.  You knew that if you told him you didn’t want this— or even just that you didn’t want anything to happen tonight— he would be polite and sweet and have a car take you home.  But you also got the feeling that if you said any of that, he would see right through it.

You wanted this too.  It was sort of obvious, especially as your hands snaked up his chest over the fabric of his tux, resting on his shoulders as you looked up at him expectantly.

“Why don’t you tell me what you want, beautiful?” he suggested in a low voice.

“I… I want,” you began hesitantly, having to look away to find the courage to say it, “I want you to tell me what to do.”

He smiled a bit, lifting your chin and guiding you to look up at him again.  “Kiss me like you mean it.”

You felt strange about that wording— like he thought you didn’t genuinely want this and just tolerated it in exchange for the money.  Which wasn’t true, but then again, it is hard to turn a man down when you’re wearing the thousand-dollar dress he bought for you.

And, of course, you kissed him.  You wove your fingers into the hair at the back of his neck, shutting your eyes and sighing as he tightened his grip on your waist; he wrapped you up in his arms, slowly and gently, and hummed lowly against your lips.  There was something about it that was different from every other first kiss you’d had (or possibly every other kiss you’d ever had) but you completely lacked the words to describe it.  Maybe it was how careful he was with you, how oddly patient; or maybe it was how quickly you found yourself wanting more.

You opened your mouth slightly, letting him delve deeper with his tongue, though he wasn’t too aggressive about it at first.  It was still sweet and slow, and you relaxed further as you pressed your body to his.

He broke away sooner than you wanted him to, and you watched his eyes scan over your face before they drifted to your shoulder— where his hand was tracing over the strap of your dress, teasing that he might slide it down at any moment.  You found yourself wishing he would, but instead he brought his eyes back to your own.

“Would you mind if I showed you the bedroom?” he suggested.

“Not at all,” you breathed.

You didn’t get a very thorough tour, not when you were stumbling backwards through the door as his hands ran all over you.  He quickly flipped on the light switch as he walked past it, only for you to reach and turn it off again.  He smiled playfully at you as he broke his lips away.  “Now, darling, how am I supposed to show you the bedroom in the dark?” he mused.

“You can show me after,” you sighed, trying to tug him by the jacket into another kiss, but he resisted with a smug grin.

“After,” he repeated with a low, rich voice that seemed to wash right over you.  “But what we’re about to do, I don’t want to do in the dark, either— you’re much more exciting to look at than some boring old bedroom that’s been on the cover of Architectural Digest…”

You laughed a little, but he bit his lip as he pulled you closer to him.

“Keep the lights on,” he pleaded— or maybe demanded, “I want to see you.”

You flipped the lights back on, and he almost turned that designer gown to shreds getting it off you.

He growled as he got a glimpse of your lingerie, and you bit your lip through a smile when he met your gaze again.  “Oh, angel— you’ll spoil me.”

He dropped to his knees in front of you, making you gasp slightly as he delicately ran his fingers along the lacy hem of your panties.

“You’re so gorgeous,” he sighed, “I need to taste you.”

“Fuck,” you mumbled, “o-okay, whatever you want.”

Looking up at you, he shot you a glittering smile.  “Get used to saying that, beautiful.”

You shuddered, just as he pulled the panties down and dove between your legs.

You felt a bit undignified with him burying his mouth against you while you were standing up; your knees wobbled and he grabbed onto your hips to help keep your balance, sliding his tongue out between your lips.

“Fuck!” you gasped, reaching down and grabbing a handful of his hair greedily.  He moaned against you, shutting his eyes tighter, lapping at you eagerly.  He pulled away far too soon, and you whimpered before he beamed up at you with slick lips.

“Get on the bed,” he demanded.

You didn’t need a tour of the room to find that: you stepped out of your panties and fell back onto it, smiling at him as he quickly slipped off his jacket and climbed up over you with an insatiable look on his face, his dark hair broken out of its style by your touch and dangling down around his face.

“Take this off,” he instructed, running a finger over your bra as he balanced himself to hover over you.

You sat up enough to reach behind your back, unfastening the garment and shimmying out of it to toss aside onto the floor.

His gaze raked over you lasciviously.  “Forgive me,” he breathed, “if I can’t find the heart to take my time with you like I imagined.”

You felt your heart skip, just before he descended and kissed you again, the tangy taste of your own arousal making you moan in the back of your throat.  The kiss was filthier and needier than ever, and quickly moved down to your neck; your back arched up off the satin sheets as his tongue traced your pulse.

“I could spend all night,” he panted between heady kisses, “tasting you everywhere.”

“God,” you whimpered, “I won’t stop you.”

“And what if I want to spend the whole night inside you?” he challenged further, making you whine and stir under him.  He pressed his weight down on you as you slowly spread your legs; you felt suddenly aware of him still being almost entirely dressed while you were stripped to nothing, and it somehow only made you more desperate for him.

“Please,” you begged, feeling his teeth scrape your neck as his hips rocked against yours.  You gasped feeling how hard he was, and it turned into a proper moan as one of his hands groped roughly at your chest.  “Fuck, Max—”

“When you say my name like that, I’m not sure how I’m supposed to control myself,” he growled, pulling back to look down at you.

“Then don’t,” you offered with a smirk.

“Just promise me one thing,” he began, surprising you with the change of his tone.  “If we do this… you’re mine.”

Your throat caught on nothing.

“If you can’t handle that, I understand,” he mitigated, “but I can’t pretend that I feel any differently— I need you, all to myself.  I need to know that you belong to me.”

You found yourself nodding before you even really thought it through.  “I’m yours,” you promised as you clutched desperately at his shirt, making him smile proudly.  “Fuck, I’m all yours.”

He kissed you—not as ruthless as the last one, but still plenty passionate.  This time, you were completely sure you’d never been kissed like this.

“I want you to say that,” he purred against your lips, “every time I make you come.”

#maxwell lord x reader #maxwell lord smut #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal smut

[sinisteryanderescribe]

Hii i rlly like ur writing so could u write this?

Hanma and kazutora (seperate) with a gf that's also a valhalla member, but she's more to collecting info and pickpocketing certain things (a policemans walkie talkie to know if there are police near or something)

And she also attends meetings but keeps to herself most of the time. Also the other members are too scared to talk to her bc she always has a resting btch face, and most likely bc shes also the gf of their captains. But in reality if anyone were to talk to her she'd be the funniest and unhinged

A Soft touch in Valhalla

Charecters: Hanma Shuji / Kazutora hanemiya

Female reader

Genre: SFW, fluff, romance,

Warnings: slight possessive behaviour, mentions of trauma on kazutora’s side, slight explicit behaviour

Note : thank you so much dear! I hope this came out okey!

…………………………………………………………………………….

Hanma Shuji

Being in a dangerous gang for an average girl is very interesting indeed. Most would call you crazy for being involved in gang related activities but who knew you would find yourself dating the leader of one of the biggest and violent gangs in Tokyo Japan.

It was your boyfriend’s idea really, with his constant nagging for you to join him and be by his side, helping him with “collecting” some information or using your “gym stealth” to good use.

But really it was mostly an excuse to have you sit on his lap every meeting with a hand on your thigh to keep you from getting up no matter how much you complain to him about it. This man loves to tease and squeeze the flesh of your plump thighs.

ESPECIALLY if it’s in front of the members of his gang, it’s more of a sign of possession, warning them if they try anything funny, there will be consequences…..

It also may be another reason to show you off to kisaki, a mocking way of telling him how he “can’t get any bitches” but anyways he managed to convince kisaki to let you join. Much to his dismay Kisaki was pretty impressed by your performances.

You have a strong sense of humour, but you tend to show it in subtle ways. Hanma appreciates that you can understand him without words and has found it really easy to communicate with you. You two share a special connection, but also a quiet intensity that few others understand.

When it comes to your relationship with the other gang members, you keep most of them at arm's length. But that doesn't mean you aren't aware of their comings and goings. They definitely know they should be careful around you.

Seeing what happened to the last guy that disrespected you…..definitely taught them a lesson not to mess with anything that belongs to their leader. Yet again you still gave him some home made cookies and muffins after he apologised.

The members have a lot of respect for you. They may find your stoic exterior intimidating, but your strong and confident nature commanded respect. They know you're not someone to be crossed, but they also know that you're a valuable member of Valhalla. It sometimes upsets you how they see you as someone to fear (hanna might have something to do with it) but you try your best to use your baking as a way to make them less tense.

Hanma even reassured you of that.

"The rest of the gang members always know to watch their backs doll. You're skillful and the information you gather helps the gang stay a step ahead of their rivals ;your ability to steal important items has saved us many times. No need to worry doll face"

…………………………………………………………………………….

Kazutora Hanemiyu

It’s was quite a surprise to see Kazutora in a relationship due to his…past actions. Let alone have a girl be interested in him but some people would say they were glad. Since you would be able to control or calm him down whenever he’s on edge.

Despite the heavy demeanour you carry, you’re always open to have a nice conversation with the others, though it sometimes tends to be a challenge. (Your boyfriend’s piercing glares and menacing smiles whenever someone thinks to even come close to you doesn’t help either)

As Kazutora's girlfriend, you have developed a unique role within Valhalla. You are his trusted confidant and adviser; He shares private details about his plans and strategies with you.

He values your input. Your performances has made you a key member of the gang, and he relies on you for your advice and insights. While your responsibilities sometimes require you to keep a distance from him, you know that he will always be there when you need him.

You have developed a strong bond with both Kazutora. While you may often be overlooked, your place within Valhalla is irreplaceable.

Though life as a gang member may often be unpredictable and chaotic, one thing remains constant: your relationship with Kazutora. You have stood by each other's side through good times and bad, and have supported one another.

You have a deep and lasting bond with him knowing how his past often haunts him and gives him certain unpleasant episodes. So you always let him pull you closer whenever your around him.

Let him nuzzle your hair and neck, no matter how embarrassing it seems your sent and perfume relaxes his nerves. Also he always places small kisses on the flesh of your neck before meetings, (or rather if he’s feeling territorial he’ll bite down hard enough to leave a mark)

Kazutora's role and status within Valhalla have always made you an object of caution among the gang members. Whenever you attend meetings and gatherings, they tend to keep their distance from you. Some may even avoid eye contact with you completely, out of fear that you might lash out or react violently, given how your face is always stone cold.

Despite this cold and stoic look, you have always been friendly and welcoming whenever they approach you, and over time have built up a reputation for yourself as a welcoming and approachable figure within the gang.

However, while most of the members may be intimidated by your relationship with Kazutora, some might not. There might be those who try to form alliances with you and use your connection to Kazutora to their advantage.

Some members may not even notice you and think you're not there. Others might want to talk to you but are afraid to approach you. Overall, your relationship is a mixed bag of reactions within the gang. But regardless of the reactions, everyone knows not to mess with you, as you're someone who belongs to Kazutora.

Some cakes and snacks might change their perspective though so easing their minds with some heartwarming bakes and food would do the trick!

Look out for a jealous little kitty though…he might not like the attention you give to other men.

ESPECIALLY if it’s Hanma…

…………………………………………………………………………….

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers hanma #tokyo revengers kazutora #tokyo revengers x female reader #tokyo revengers x reader #hanma x reader #kazutora x reader #x reade #x fem reader #hanma shuji #kazutora hanemiya #tokyo rev #hanma Shuji x fem reader #kazutora hanemiya x fem reader #tokyorev kazutora #tokyorev hanma

[eldritch-spouse]

Hi Mother Pinnie I hope your day/night is going well. How would the clergymen react to their obsessions fainting from seeing their cocks for the first time?

Your ocs make me bark like a dog and keep me warm thinking about them. But thinking of actually being face to face with things like Vinnel's rotting horror goop dick and Morell's cock that looks like it can split a person in two is enough for me to feel very a bit panicky to put it mildly.

May your bagels be forever plain and delicious.

[What do you call this, "cock fright"? "Penis terror"? "Manmeat panic"?]

TW: Noncon.

You faint from the "grand reveal"

Morell just sort of gawks... Well, he's pretty big compared to you, and he likes to think he's packing pretty well, but is it really that big for you? If you were that scared, you could have just told him, you poor little thing. In the end, he fixes you up and takes care of himself, chuckling about your silly reaction. Guess he'll go slower next time.

Gallon assumes your reaction was due to the prehensile nature of his dick. Maybe you're one of those people that's really scared of things that squirm. Which is a shame, because he can't really help that. The slime sighs and scoops you up safely, wondering if your second time seeing it will be as ridiculous as this one was. He can try to shape it differently, but his excitement won't help...

Vinnel snorts. Aw geez, does he scare you that much? It's actually kind of flattering. And hot. Fuck, he can feel himself throb just thinking of forcing you to blow him, while you cry and scream around his cock, afraid that you'll get sick from going down on him. Vinnel wants to see the terror on your face as he pounds you full of his slime and you have no choice but to take the thing you're so frightened of. You'll wake up to his cock inches from your face.

Santi doesn't know how to feel. Maybe he got you too horny? There was definitely arousal when you fainted. This is very odd, even the virgins he's had up until now didn't faint like this, though some would look away from his length. Guess he'll have to try something softer... Next time you two get intimate, he'll make sure you can't see his cock, just feel it. Maybe after you feel how good it is, you'll want an eyeful.

Grimbly just blinks. What... Why??? What's wrong with his cock? What did he do? Is it- Do you not like it?! HUH?! He doesn't understand why you'd react that way at all and he's going to become very insecure about exposing it to you in the future. Catch him examining his dick in front of a mirror, tears in his eyes as he tries to decipher what's so horrifying.

Patches wonders if maybe you thought he'd have no cock. Maybe you assumed it had rotted off a long time ago and the shock of finding out there's actually something between his legs just... Made you faint. That's, well, unexpected. Sure his dick is green and it has some vine-protrusions like the rest of his skin, but other than that it's pretty standard and humanoid. What's wrong with it? Huh.

Sybastian recoils. Woah. That's new. He's pretty huge for a mimic, but he doesn't think he's hung like a fucking horse, there's not need to faint. He tucks himself away and wonders what to do. Maybe you're not ready for his cock yet, he might have to use his tongue for now. Humans are frail little things, physically and mentally, so he's not too sure what to do beyond giving you some time before trying again.

Nebul actually snickers. Oh, you're adorable. Perhaps Master worked you up a little too much. Were you so afraid of disappointing him that your little mind just short-circuited? Hah, oh he enjoys you so very much. Too bad, you'll have to face it, so better get used to it. You'll wake up to Nebul inside you. Not moving, just inside you.

Belo is genuinely terrified. He knew it was too soon! What a fool he was! Look what he did, now you're probably traumatized. You hate him, you hate him because he was filthy and animalistic and it was too much to handle for you. He won't forgive himself so easily. He's a degenerate!! Please forgive him, please please please-

Fank-e freezes. Oh. Oh okay... Maybe he should attach one of the smaller builds. Not that he likes them too much, but maybe something less flashy will sit well with his startled little qt. In the worst case scenario, he can go for a pussy and ditch dicks until you're more comfortable. Fank-e's going to have you search various models with him so you don't faint again, even if it was pretty funny to him.

Krulu gets a massive power rush. Yes, faint at the sight of him. You know how great of an honor his offering is, and your mind broke because of it. Simple creature, your humble nature is flattering, but you have nothing to fear- Only pleasure from now on. Although, if the sight of his malehood is that imposing to you, then you best make it up to him by servicing his cunt.

#Krulu oc #Morell oc #Vinnel oc #Nebul oc #Patches oc #Grimbly oc #Santi oc #Fank-e oc #Sybastian oc #Gallon oc #Belo oc

[gigglealongshiney-shadow-watcher]

Continue from this the Opal vr John fight. Winner was John.

(This takes place after the grounded event. So the continuity is a bit out of order. )

Trigger warnings for child suffering, delusional rambling, bleeding out, and possible disturbing imagery.

Opal's body pushes blood to heal the open wound, but her arm can't heal around the knife's touch. It's killing her. Without any fallback systems in place for her biology made by a God, there's no way for her to recover. Her legs weaken, and some snap off to prioritize the major wound. They crash to the ground loudly. No one dares leave their homes.

Her eyes wander, but there's nothing worth focusing on down there. How long before he comes to drive the knife into the rest of her body? She dropped the lady, and he said he'd hurt her worse than anything she felt if the lady died. He couldn't be dead, because he said something after he fell.

(Cut for length) for the singing, tunes inspired by nowhere king, candy hearts and paper flowers, and some of my own tune.

Opal

Phillip

How long did he want her to wait for? Maybe she should try to...run? With what? Did she have legs? She looked for them, and it looked like she did, but they felt like nothing. They weren't real anymore. That's nice, she doesn't need to think about legs anymore.

The blue soaks into her body from the puddle and comes back out. She watches it grow. It's pretty, and it glows a little, like a melted star. Is she full of stars? They must've melted inside her. She laughs and tries to touch the stars with her fingers, but the hand isn't listening to her right now.

Everything is dizzy and spinny. She doesn't want to be on the merry-go-round anymore. It's making her sick. She turns, and more stars leave her mouth. It hurts, stars hurt when they leave like that. The star puddle is cold. It feels good, she's too melty inside. Maybe the stars can help her up into the sky when they leave.

This must be how stars are born. They die and turn into rain bits. She liked cold rain, colder than the water cups in the kitchen. Then they come back out and have to fly away again. They'll want to take their mama with them. She didn't want to be a mama, but her stars make the meltedness in her hurt less, so it's ok. She can be their mama. The star puddle isn't flying away yet, maybe they're too scared.

"Iss...ok...t' fly." She could fly. When did she fly? Flying was fun, right? She was small, small babies flew away to neverland, someone said that once. Was she small enough to go to neverland? The stars could come with her. The stars will take her there. "T'nk you stars."

She's breathing for some reason. It rocks her head a little. It's nice, so she keeps doing that. There's a rocking chair in auntie's room that makes a little sound like a donkey. Auntie is dead now, like everyone else. She feels sad. Is anyone still alive, or is she all alone? They're waiting for her so the games can end and they can go home.

She tries to remember a name to give to auntie. It's not there. None of the names are there. Where did her name go? Someone lost their name in a forest. She lost her name there too and now she couldn't say her name or the forest girl's name. The only name that she could find was...

Phillip. That was a special name. It makes her head hurt less to think about. Phillip. Phillip is a special name that matters more than anything. Why is it so important? "Please...tell me..."

Phillip sat on the rocking chair with her. Phillip found crayons she could see. Phillip didn't laugh at her for not seeing anything but what the big people said was blue and yellow. Why wasn't everything blue now? Phillip was a special name. A forever name. He has her name and she has his. She hopes he brings her name back, she wants to see it again. He must miss his name too. He gave it to her, and now it's smudged and cracked. She got it all dirty when... when... She wasn't up here before, but where did she drop the name for it to get so messy?

Phillip would be mad she got his name dirty. He says it's ok when she drops her drawing in her food. Names are like drawings too. You make one and it's yours but you can give it to other people. Phillip drew lots of pictures with her. He doesn't draw anymore. Would he be mad?

She closes her eyes. The star puddle hasn't left yet... Phillip is a good name, it's an important name. Phillip said they'd get old together and go to Florida, his mom said that's where the old people go. Florida had alligators, those were cool. Maybe Phillip is in Florida waiting for her.

It feels good to close her eyes. It's good so she does it. The meltedness in her isn't as bad anymore, the stars are taking it out of her. They're so nice to her, it was too melty inside for her. It's good on her...what? Skin, that's what it is.

Phillip. It's important. He's important so important, where is he? She's shaking, and now the star puddle is too cold. It hurts! She tries to get away from the star puddle, they're mad at her because she didn't give them attention. That's what bad mamas get, pain for being bad. She's bad at being a mama, she doesn't want to be one at all.

"Help me..." She starts to cry. Why does it hurt? Her face is cold, and it's a bad feeling. It's so confusing, it's so dark, where did everything go? It hurts so much, he's back. He's come back and stabbed the knife in her eyes and it's dark forever he's going to stab her forever and she's in the dark now-

Something touches her arm. "You need to open those to get out of the dark." It's Phillip... he taps her eyes. She tries to open them, and it's hard to see anything. Her eyes hurt so much.

"Hi there." He's laying next to her on his chest, frowning at her. Phillip looks just like he does on the rocking chair.

"H-hi." She tries to focus on him.

"You got beat up again. I'm sorry I wasn't able to fight off Glen this time, I thought he was grounded." Phillip looks over her at something far away. "...that's not true, is it? That happened a long time ago, Opal. That's not why you're crying. You got hurt really badly today." Opal...that was her name...right?

Opal, the name still didn't feel right, reaches for him. He was important, but something was still missing. Why was Phillip so important? "It hurts..."

Phillip takes her hand and pulls her up to lean on the entrance to the roof. "It's all done now, no more make believe. Now we can go home and play something else."

"What do you mean?" Opal pulls away from him and falls back on the floor. Something is wrong. Something is bad. "What’s make believe?" The words feel familiar but they don't belong. "No, no it's wrong."

Phillip stares at her with disappointment. "Why can't you just play along? Why can't you just accept this? Look at me. I'm here! I'm perfect looking, isn't that enough for you? Why isn't this good enough to just go along with?"

Opal chokes and coughs, more blood pouring out of her mouth before she could ask him what's going on. Phillip growls and hits his open palm into her chest and makes her cough even harder. "Stop!"

"All you had to do was say ok! That's why you always got hurt! You can't just accept it, can you? You always need to know more, and it hurts everyone else! You couldn't just be happy with your eyes. You couldn't just be happy being Pokotho's special girl. You couldn't just be happy with your body and you made a mess of everything! It's all your fault! You know it is!"

Opal sobs and curls away from him. "I don't understand, what are you saying?"

Phillip rolls his eyes and stomps on her knife broken arm. "You're the worst friend in the world, Opal. Why do you get to fade away in a friendly happy little daze and I had to die that day in the battle? Why did you get to live? Why did you get to leave and do all those wonderful things when you don't even care enough to stay put? It's stupid! I hate you, I hate you because you got everything you wanted and I didn't get anything. You're the worst."

Phillip turns and stomps away. "What did I- why- wait..." Opal cries and curls into a ball. Her arms are too big, and her legs are too big and she's all alone. Opal is alone and Opal will always be alone. Opal doesn't deserve Phillip. Opal is useless.

The time ticks by, Opal and she wishes it would tick away and take her already. Opal is tired and in pain and hates all of this. Opal hates John for doing this to her. Opal hates everyone who left her like this and never stopped to ask her what Opal wanted. No one cared about her enough to think about her as anything but a servant. Or a cute pet to play mommy with. Opal hates life and every last bit of it because it only ever led her to more and more pain until she finally got here, and now Opal could finally lay down and die and leave this awful world behind. Opal can see it all and curse it for being there. Opal is tired. Opal gives up on it all and closes herself off from anything and everything forever. Opal is dying. Opal is dead.

............................

She opens her eyes and tries to find warmth. She watches her tears fall onto the floor and they sparkle at her kindly. She's sad to see them fade.

Through her arms, she sees something move in a stuttery, slow crawl. It pushes and wiggles itself into view. He tilts his head towards her and a sleepy eye meets hers. "I'm...late, but I'm here."

It's the voice, the good voice that makes her think of nice things like the flower around his neck. A flower she knows. "Are you..."

"I think so." He doesn't have much of a mouth to smile with, but he uses what there is to try. He rolls closer to her. "You are too."

She looks at him. "Do you want them?"

He nods. "Can I?"

She shakily opens her bag. Inside, in a shaped lining are his arms.

One is cleanly cut by Pokey without her permission, the other ripped and torn free. She pulls out the clean one first and he pushes himself up on the arm. Holding the second, she threads her hand through its fingers and he takes it back and squeezes her hand back.

Most of his face is gone, and the metal shards in the exposed bones of his skull poke out like spikes. "I missed you." He says. "You haven't visited in a while, but that's ok."

She leans on his arm. "I...broke it." Something broke that meant everything to her. What was it? Something tumbled out of her chest and lay between them. It was shattered. She had broken his candy heart. "I-I'm so sorry..." She starts to cry harder, shoulders shaking.

He hugs her close, and his flower brushes her neck. "You kept it, and that's what matters. I kept your flower, and now we're back together again." He doesn't breathe, but he's warm. "We can make new ones."

She leans against him and he helps her rest against the door downstairs. He curls up with her and looks at the stars in the sky. He's stained with the same thing she is. He's warm, and she's not, so she pulls him closer. He tries to smile again and holds her hand. "Where?"

"Up in the sky, we were gonna go together." He rests his head on top of hers. "We can always whether the weather~." He sings a bit of the tune she knows deep in her core.

"That's what keeps us together..." She sings it back. It's right. It's the song she wants and it's the song that is him. It's the song that is her.

His voice is the good one that she sings with all the time. Everyday they sing together. Everyday is better with him. "Candy hearts and paper flowers, sunset skies, with hundred' hues."

Rhymes and songs we sang, for hours. Words to say I'll love you true.

Times get bad, and then I worry! How I'll ever see it through... but our candy hearts and paper flowers, will always keep me close to you.

Will always keep me close to you!

He sings softer now, and his hands are in hers the way she wishes they were more. He hugs her arm the way that she hugs his when they aren't in the bag.

I'm sorry for breaking your promise, can you even still look at me?

I told you once and now again friend, we'll make a new one so let it be.

But is it hurtful to be with me? When I was so bad to you.

Hey, now, this candy heart is still a-loving, and that love is forever true.

She cries and changes the song, trying to meet him in the connection and joy of sharing music together.

I, missed you and I love you so much, I, wanted to grow you a bunch...of paper flowers so you could be joyful and such, I love you too.

Long days in a rut that was us, happy campers but the reasons turned to mush, so now on the edge of the pain ending rush! I'll hold you close.

They sing together, whatever things they want to say, all coming through in rhyme and lyric until she...starts to lose track of her words. They aren't making sense anymore. He finishes the song, and she tries her best to keep up.

We can, do anything now just come and, hold me close and then, we'll fly! Fly up in the beyond! You and me! Joyful and finally free, as the sunrise, blinds both of our eyes!

Candy, papers will wrap up the candy, flowers and hearts go side by side, and they're bound all their lives.

All their lives...

So now we, paper and candy go swiftly, hurry and run for the starlight! Run to the ground, below~.

For now that we can be eternally,

reunited, let's go live our lives!

We're united...let's go live our lives~

He smiles and takes her by the hand, the other rest on her cheek over the cut in her mouth. "It's time to go."

She closes her eyes and a small spark lights in her mind. Those words meant something a long time ago...

"Mmaaaamaaaaaaaa gooooo!"

A lady in white puts away her phone and looks at her lovingly. "Ok baby! Are you ready for the super duper tough workout?"

"Ya!!"

She gets on the lady's shoulders and she buckles and dramatically wobbles around. "Wooahhhhh I can't stay up! It's too tough a workout! Nooo, I'm gonna fall!"

"No! No no fall!"

The lady makes effort noises and puts her down on the table. "Phewwww, maybe we should just stay home today, I'm pooped." She grins.

"Noooooo! Candy!"

"Hmmm? What's wrong? Ohh I said we would go get some candy after going to the big gym! WelI I guess I have to then!" She laughs and takes her hand. "Alright. Time to go, kiddo!"

He waits for her and looks at the sky. "Are you ready?"

She shakes her head. "There's...more...need the lady first..."

He nods. "Ok, how do I get her?"

"Gotta...be alone looking..."

"I'll be right here waiting, ok? We're gonna make a new candy heart for you, and a new paper flower for me! Right?"

"Mmmmmmm...yeah, wait for me."

He kisses her forehead and hugs her arm tightly. "I did before, and I always will. Cuz I love you." His only leg is bent to go over some of her legs.

"Love you too...friends in...in..." She's so dizzy, and the stars are twinkling around her like little fairies.

"Friends in every weather, friends always together, friends until the very end of time!" He recites it better than she can. He drags himself out of her sight and she lays on her arms. She can't see anything anymore and her head is quiet.

It's a nice quiet. She can't go without the lady and tries really really hard to be loud. It takes all her power to do it. "Lady in white! I'm- I'm ready to go! I'm...ready to go White lady...go...up..." She smiles and closes her eyes.

It's time to go.

@thesiblingsoftheblackandwhite

#hatchetblr #opal singer #lore post

[earthtooz]

will he still love you when you’re not young and beautiful?

oikawa tooru is a star.

he's the brightest one in the night sky, constantly having people looking at him, pointing at him in awe, telling their friends about his radiance, and how it twinkles so. oikawa tooru is a star, the centre of everyone's attention.

and you don't know why he chose you as a companion- not to be said in a degrading way; you knew your worth. you knew all the good things about you, all the gorgeous parts and all the bad parts- so did oikawa, but that never seemed to deter him.

why?

he's still one of the most desired men you know to this day and in his profession, where he has been globally recognised as one of the best volleyball player, the attention has only increased tenfold. #oikawatok trended for a little during and after the olympics.

and you were currently in the prime of your life. will he still love you when you're not?

"hey tooru," you greet when you appear in the kitchen, where he sits reading a tabloid of his latest game. you notice the lingering smile on his face, clearly showing that he was hyper-fixating on the compliments of his skill.

what an ass.

he extends his arm to you as you approach, wrapping it around you and pulling you closer when you're in arms length. pressing a kiss on your forehead, he asks, "hello, my love."

“will you still love me when i’m no longer young and beautiful?”

oikawa looks at you incredulously, so much so that his brown tufts of hair bounce with his movement, "is this a trick question?" you arch a brow, "being young and beautiful are mutually exclusive, i'm-"

"wow babe, had no idea you knew how to use 'mutually exclusive' in a sentence."

"shut up! we literally graduated together and i hung out with makki! learnt all my big words from him," oikawa tells you with a small 'hmph' and you laugh, urging him to continue his previous statement.

"anyways, i'm still going to love you no matter what, but you're always going to be beautiful no matter the age! i'm still gonna find you smoking hot when we're older."

you smile a stupid little smile, and wrap your arms around his built torso, "when we're older, huh?"

"i mean, that's the plan isn't it?"

"aww, you wanna spend the rest of your life with me?"

he flushes and you giggle even more at that. you haven't particularly discussed any long-term plans for your relationship, deciding to go where the wind takes you, but you were thankful that oikawa felt the same way you did.

but he doesn't know you feel that way yet, so a pout graces his perfect features, “are you trying to tell me you don’t want to grow old with me?”

“what? tooru, no-"

“-because if you don’t then i’ll start crying and begging on my knees for you to change your mind.”

he looks like he’s about to cry.

you laugh a watery laugh, oh how his mind works.

"tooru, i want to grow old with you too," cradling his face in both your hands, he grins.

"okay, good," he simply mutters, too concentrated on admiring your features in the position you currently held him, "because i think i would have lost a few years off my lifespan if you didn't."

"i'm sorry, didn't mean to scare you like that."

"it's okay, so long as i'll always have you."

his eyes glimmer as they gaze upon you and he softens a little. if you were only a little more observant, you'd realise how this was the way oikawa always looked at you.

he may be one of the most desired men you know, but it seems like he only wants you in return. oikawa no longer eats up the attention of fangirls that praise and squeal and his feet, instead, he looks towards you for approval, eyes hopeful and longing for you.

oikawa tooru is a star, but the only reason he's shining as brightly as he tries is because of you.

#ooc probably idk how to write for him #i don't know how to write full stop #UNEDITED i don't have time :p #haikyuu x reader #oikawa x reader #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa toru x reader #oikawa fluff #oikawa blurb #hq x reader #oikawa drabble #oikawa x you #oikawa tooru x you #oikawa tooru fluff #oikawa tooru drabble #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu drabble #haikyuu x you

[petitelepus]

Hello! I'd love a kny demon match up please! Normal/Yandere both SFW and NSFW if possible. I'm a 5'1 woman, introverted, artistic, oftentimes short tempered, physically a bit chubby, with shoulder length wavy hair. Very reserved until I gain the confidence, I love to cook and bake, I'm very loyal and attentive as well, with a bit of every love language. Stubborn and anxious as hell and other times very playful and a bit mischievous. Very sensitive as well and if sensitive enough I will cry 😔🥺

Very loving (Gomez Addams type) towards my lover and will defend/protect them fiercely (attracted to men). I hope is enough description, thanks!

I match you with Kyojuro Rengoku!

Kyojuro is a very open and happy person, always smiling and, well, talking loudly. He is happy to make new friends and can have a little trouble noticing when people are put off by his loud and bright attitude.

You're a good Slayer with huge potential so he will happily accept you as his Tsuguko! You may be a little anxious about how you are going to survive his training, but too stubborn to give up right away.

At first, your relationship would be purely platonic, but with time your feelings start to evolve and grow stronger. Just like you grow stronger as the Flame Hashira keeps training you.

You remind Kyojuro a little of a cute little hamster with a huge attitude.

It doesn't help his case when you're being cute and so kind. Like, as you grow to care for each other, you go out of your way to do something special to show your way of love. Like breakfast or something sweet made with him in your mind, or the sweet compliments you shower him with.

This man loves good food and you love cooking and baking. Kyojuro promises to you that once you have slayed Muzan Kibutsuji and defeated all Demons, he and you will open your own little restaurant or bakery and maybe even start a family.

Kyojuro knows firsthand that you are protective when you set yourself between him and enemy, sword pointed at the Demon and ready to take their life for hurting someone so close and beloved to you like the Flame Hashira.

The man won't let either one of you forget that and he may scold you that it wasn't your fight and that you could have ended up dead... But then you start crying about how scared you were, but you were brave because you didn't want to see Kyojuro being hurt or worse, killed.

You're that loyal to him and that's how he realizes it that you are truly the one for him. He promises to you that he will not die and that he will make you happy, no matter what.

When the two of you become a couple, he learns just how mischievous you can be and he is ready to accept your challenge.

Kyojuro isn't the type to play with his food and then again he is?

Like, he wouldn't mind it if you covered yourself with sweet caramel or perhaps even slightly bitter chocolate sauce and asked him to clean you up.

"Nope, no hands!"

"What?"

"You gotta clean me without using your hands."

"How do I-?" Then he realizes what you mean and you grin, "Bon appetit~"

Oh, it's ON. He will clean you with the best of his abilities and once he is done, he will eat you!

Hantengu is Yandere for you!

You're so sweet, so young, and oh so kind. Hantengu has seen you from his hiding spot, how hard you train and work, and despite being a Slayer, you were not as scary as other people of your kind were.

The weak Demon has plenty of time to look at you or think about you during the daytime when he can't hunt and he grows extremely fond of you.

Truly, if you knew how innocent Hantengu really was then you would lower your Nichirin sword and abandon Demon slaying so you could spend your days and nights showering him with your love.

One night, the Demon confronts you, fully knowing that you would attack him, unaware of his innocence, but he could handle little pain if it meant teaching you and you would learn soon as his clones would take over.

As soon as you behead him, Sekido and Karaku come out, but they don't put up much fight at all, tricking you with a false sense of victory. Soon it's you against 4 freakishly strong Demons and you are no match to them so they disarm you and take you with them.

Once somewhere dark and safe from the sun, Urogi and Aizetsu hold you down as small Hantengu comes up to you and explains that he isn't like other Demons, no, he is innocent and never meant to hurt anyone, nothing is his fault, you have to believe him!

You're so kind-hearted, you want to believe him when you see him shivering and crying, but he was still a Demon... But innocent?

Hantengu is a master manipulator and soon enough he manages to manipulate you to show him some pity and overtime love.

If you grow and show some undying loyalty, he is ready and willing to turn you into a Demon also. But that could still wait.

Your many ways of showing love would come in handy with Hantengu and his many clones.

Sekido would be annoyed by how fond of you he grows, thinking of it as a weakness, yet he doesn't make any moves that would indicate that he wants to get rid of you. He does enjoy gagging you. He highly enjoys both silence and the small pathetic noises you make around the gag in your mouth.

Karaku can't get enough of you! You're so playful when you grow fond of him and others and he loves learning more about you. He enjoys teasing you and seeing your reactions to different things, such as hot and cold, soft and sharp. When you moan or whimper, it sets him off.

Aizetsu loves you just as much as Hantengu and other clones, but he has a sad view of things. He doesn't miss a chance to tell you how sad would it be if something were to ever happen to you because he loves you so much it almost makes him cry. He loves submitting himself to you, trusting that you treat him right.

Urogi loves having you around! You're so cute yet mischievous! He likes showing you off but he also happens to love giving you a hickey or marking you with his teeth where everyone can see it. Especially his fellow clones which in return sets them off around you.

Last but not least, Hantengu loves everything about you, but he especially it when you give yourself to him, body and soul. Letting him rest his head on your lap is so nice also. You're so soft, it's like he died but instead of going to Hell, he went to Heaven, where he thinks that he would rightfully belong. If he ever dies, he wishes that you would grieve for him.

#demon slayer matchup #demon slayer #star-dust-wanderer #matchup #kimetsu no yaiba #yandere #yandere matchup #kyojuro rengoku #rengoku kyojuro #hantengu #sekido #aizetsu #karaku #urogi #Naughty #Sorry for long wait! #ENJOY!

[persephonememes]

* (  GOOD RIDDANCE BY GRACIE ABRAMS /  SENTENCE PROMPTS.

These may have been edited for clarity or length or to better apply for roleplaying.

❛ i was bored out my mind ❜

❛ you're the worst of my crimes ❜

❛ i never was the best to you ❜

❛ i used to lie to your face twenty times in a day ❜

❛ it was my little strange addiction ❜

❛ i destroyed every silver lining you had in your head ❜

❛ we were too different ❜

❛ you were so sensitive ❜

❛ now i feel terrible about how i handled it ❜

❛ now i bet you resent all of me ❜

❛ i don't forget all of my fault in this ❜

❛ i deserve it though ❜

❛ you were there all the time ❜

❛ how am i supposed to put that gently? ❜

❛ down the road you will love me until you resent me ❜

❛ what if i'm not worth the time and breath i know you're saving? ❜

❛ the whole facade seemed to fall apart ❜

❛ part of me wants to walk away till you really listen ❜

❛ i hate to look at your face and know that we're feeling different ❜

❛ cause part of me wants you back, but i know it won't work like that, huh? ❜

❛ why won't you try moving on for once? ❜

❛ i know we cut all the ties but you're never really leaving ❜

❛ i'm thinking everything you wish i wasn't ❜

❛ the call was tough but you're better off ❜

❛ so won't you stop holding out for me when i don't want it ❜

❛ won't you stay for a while ❜

❛ i wish that you'd never leave ❜

❛ i know i know better ❜

❛ if you asked me to run away i'd go easily ❜

❛ i'm codependent but trying hard not to be ❜

❛ do you think we could talk? ❜

❛ yes, i know that he's my ex. but can't two people reconnect? ❜

❛ i'll always choose you ❜

❛ where do we go now? ❜

❛ there's nothing left here ❜

❛ i wasted my breath when i tried to console you, didn't i? ❜

❛ i know that i should hate you ❜

❛ i pulled the knife out my back, it was right where you left it ❜

❛ i just drank something strong to try to forget, but it wasn't right ❜

❛ i almost crashed my car ❜

❛ all i ever think about is where the hell you even are ❜

❛ i swear to god i'd kill you if i loved you less hard ❜

❛ after all of this time, i still get disappointed ❜

❛ it's kinda funny when it goes from all to nothing ❜

❛ you have to laugh before you start to cry ❜

❛ now i stop myself from holding on to something that makes me feel a little less alive ❜

❛ i see through you ❜

❛ where did you go? ❜

❛ why'd it feel louder when all of it went unspoken? ❜

❛ all i can do is hope that this will go away ❜

❛ she doesn't know i'd let her ruin all my days ❜

❛ i'm just scared of that commitment ❜

❛ i really think sometimes there's something that i'm missing ❜

❛ i should probably go back home ❜

❛ i hope i wake up invisible ❜

❛ i guess i'm just difficult ❜

❛ you were everything to me ❜

❛ i've been drinking and staying up too late reliving bad decisions ❜

❛ what am i supposed to do when you used to be my lifeline? ❜

❛ i've counted all the days since you walked away ❜

❛ i never could've seen you coming ❜

❛ i think you're everything i've wanted ❜

❛ you make me really nervous ❜

❛ i've never felt this close to someone ❜

❛ what if you're my weakness? ❜

❛ i feel homesick ❜

❛ i'll say whatever you want, but i've become such a liar ❜

❛ i used to follow my gut, but now i'm just getting higher ❜

❛ i've been thinking way too loud ❜

❛ i wish that i could block me out ❜

❛ i think i'm burning alive, but nobody sees the fire ❜

❛ 'cause when i open my mouth, i seem to be stuck in silence ❜

❛ i thought of leaving tonight, but i couldn't drive this tired ❜

❛ plus after all of this time, i should be a pretty crier ❜

❛ in my head, i make a mess of it ❜

❛ i'm getting tired of feeling delicate ❜

❛ i used to try, but nothing's helping it ❜

❛ it's not their fault, but i've found that none of my friends will call me ❜

❛ every voice in my head is trying its best to haunt me ❜

❛ i should be cool but i panic ❜

❛ words seem to cut so much deeper right to the bone ❜

❛ it's a sort of funny quiet feeling ❜

❛ lately i don't know what to believe in ❜

❛ i drove 100 miles an hour to forget you ❜

❛  how'd you walk away so easy? ❜

❛ you won't even look at me ❜

❛ i hate the fact that i miss you around ❜

❛ why's it feel like you don't even know me? ❜

❛ how are you looking at me like a stranger? ❜

❛ i took up walking to turn it all off ❜

❛ it doesn't feel bearable guess i thought when i left it would all stop ❜

❛ did i fall out of line when i called you? ❜

❛ when i told you i'm fine you were lied to ❜

❛ how could i think that all that i gave you was enough? ❜

❛ cause every time i get too close i just go mess it up ❜

❛ i heard that you're happier ❜

❛ i hope that you're sleeping well, knowing i'm not ❜

#rp meme #rp memes #rp prompts #ask meme #meme #memes #roleplay meme #ask memes #lyric meme #lyrics #gracie abrams #gracie abrams lyrics #good riddance

[justgowithitplease]

Hello, can i get a romantic matchup with qsmp, please? (It's ok, if you don't want to)

I'm a hetero woman, 5'2, extremely slim(but i feel ok with it). Intp(as all of my tests said) for style i prefer dark academia, im more on masculine side but can wear something feminine too. I'm student of law major but hope someday i will monetize my art hobby. I also love music but only as a listener(i can listen to any genre, prefer underground groups). I'm pretty cold and untouchable with other people but when I'm in relationship it's another story (It's like I'm pouring all my accumulated tenderness on this one person.). Kinda hate love languages since if i have to pick one i would pick every one of it (+i would add sex as love language too.) And I have a twisted notion of romance. I think the romance which is showed in popular media is boring but something like necklace with blood/peace of hair or date in abandoned place can make me interested.

I would love to match you up don't worry!

Warnings: Mentions of blood, Meu amor used a lot, innuendos

I match you with...

Cellbit!

Being that both of you dress more masculine-ly, you two would steal each other's clothes. You two would walk around the house going about your day as normal when you see the other in your hoodie or something.

- Rafael had just gotten done with a QSMP stream. It was late at night and he was spent. Groggily walking over to the kitchen for some food, he pauses when he sees you in his hoodie making mac-n-cheese.

"Thats my hoodie." He says, walking over and putting his hands on top of your head, his chin on top of that. "Looks good on you. Keep it Meu amor."

And your art would be displayed everywhere, especially in the background of his streams so he can show you off or brag about you whenever.

- "Oh, the art in the background? Thank you so much, no I didn't make it!" He says with a smile as a dono asks about the framed art hanging up. "Meu amor made it. It's so pretty, no?"

He would be a bit tentative with the love, not wanting to scare you away. But over time, he's gotten used to it and sometimes even initiates it.

-You two lie in your bed, watching a movie. You were curled up on his left side, arms around him and head on his shoulder. He has a soft blush on his face at the intimacy.

-Over the length of the movie, he's managed to turn so his arms are around you as well, and his face is in the crook of your neck.

-"The movies over, whaddya want to watch now?" You ask, half expecting him to be asleep'

-but he's not asleep. Instead, one of his hands glides down to mess with the hem of your shorts.

-"I don't really care. You can put on anything." Rafael comments, giving your shorts a soft tugg to signal that he doesn't really wanna watch another move

He would love the blood necklaces though. He thinks that they're a gorgeous symbol of you twos devotion to each other. It gets a bit awkward when his friends ask him about it though.

-He was on stream, getting supplies for the tasks he had to complete that day. He had his camera turned on to show his face, the small clear vial with silver wiring and a silver stopper dangling from his neck on a thin chain.

-"Ooo, cellbit that's a cool necklace!" Jaiden comments "Where'd you get it?"

-"W-Oh um..." he says, blush coming to his face. "Made it myself. Meu amor has a matching one."

-He felt bad not telling the truth to his friends. But how would he explain it to them? 'Hey Jaiden it has meu amors blood in it.' didn't exactly sound all that friendly.

-But that didn't mean he's stop wearing it. It just meant it would be tucked under his shirt or hoodie or whatever, the soft weight of the blood a soft reminder of his love for you.

#qsmp x reader #qsmp #qsmp purgatory #cellbit #cellbit qsmp #Cellbit x reader #rafael lange #Rafael x reader

[anonymousbeefriendfanfics]

Omg since you're writing for Touchstarved also,,,,,,could I ask for some Vere headcanons? With fluff? Pretty please i am in need of a crumb of floof content involving floofy fox-man 🤲

Of course!! My pleasure~ I love all of them so very much, and Vere just. Mmmh, I love him. Sorry this took so long, but I hope it was worth the wait!

Fandom: Touchstarved Character: Vere Warnings: Fluff, as requested! Not really a warning though. Mild spoilers for the demo below the blue text.

Dating Vere Headcannons:

Now this is an interesting relationship.

I don't think Vere sees himself as a relationship person. That isn't to say he's aromantic, or that he doesn't fall for people - he does. But I just get the sense that he holds back. He's a lone wolf - er, fox - and he's used to that. He doesn't really trust anyone, and I think whatever dark secrets he's hiding, whatever trauma his past holds... it has him convinced that he doesn't need or deserve anyone.

So, first things first, you have to earn his trust - and be able to trust him in return, which is no small feat considering he appears ready to kill you at a moment's notice. But it is possible, especially once he gets to know you a bit better. Earn his respect and/or intrigue him enough, and he'll become less and less likely to kill you. And that is ideal, if you're attempting to romance the foxboy and not, you know, die.

Eventually, though, you can win him over. Slowly but surely, he falls for you. At first he may not even realize what it is, but give him time. He isn't great with genuine affection, and it'll take him some time to process everything.

Demo spoilers below!

Deep down, I think he's scared. Vere is a monster, a tool of the Senobium, a pet kept on a leash and used to hunt and kill. That's all he's been for so long, he doesn't know how to be anything else, doesn't know how to be free. Certainly doesn't know how to be a lover. But that doesn't mean he won't try!

Oh, and try he does. Vere goes to such comedically extreme lengths in the beginning, it's honestly a little ridiculous.

I'm assuming it's not too hard to get your hands on a romance novel or five... dozen. Eridia must have libraries, surely, and the Senobium itself likely has some, even if just in dusty shelves for preserving the 'classics' or what have you. And when Vere finally comes to his senses and realizes that he's falling in love - and gets over the subsequent shock and panic - his first mission is to get his hands on these books.

He'll spend his spare time obsessively reading, and implementing the tactics he's learned on you... which means that you're subject to spontaneous acts of devotion, from showing up unexpectedly with a bouquet of flowers (and one between his teeth, of course) to him throwing rocks at your window and serenading you in the middle of the night until you come down or yell at him to knock it off... or until he realizes he's got the wrong window and has been professing his love to one of the Bloodhounds while you sleep soundly on the other side of the building. Oops.

Just allow me to say that this man doesn't have an ounce of shame in his body, and will probably embarrass you in public at least once with all of this, unless you can catch him before it gets that far.

He'll eventually settle down, don't worry. He's nervous and overcompensating, but once he gets more used to your relationship, he'll begin to relax and learn to show you affection in his own ways.

I think Vere is one of those people who relentlessly but lovingly teases his significant other. He'll inevitably cross a line every now and then, and you shouldn't be afraid to set him straight when he does, but he quite enjoys the banter. He's got quite the silver tongue, and if his partner has a sharp wit as well, he's going to provoke them into using it at any opportunity.

He'll often steal things of yours, too. Both for the fun of seeing you try to get it back, and because he just... likes having a physical bit of you close. Seriously, get him a necklace or bracelet he can wear, or a charm to keep in his pocket - something he can keep on him at all times, and he'll stop stealing your things.... as much. And yes, he'll always dangle things he's stolen juuuust out of reach with that damn smirk on his face. Every time.

He's very laid back, but I think he can also be a bit territorial. You're his now, and he's not afraid to let anyone else know - no shame, remember? He doesn't resort to fighting unless he must, but he'll do whatever he needs to do in order to regain your attention or make it clear to others that you're taken. The flirting goes up to 11, and suddenly he's very touchy and affectionate.

Speaking of being physically affectionate, I think Vere would mostly try to keep his distance in public, mostly because he doesn't want to risk the Senobium finding out about your relationship. He knows quite well what they're capable of, and one of his biggest fears quickly becomes being unable to save you from them - or from himself. Those who know him well enough can read the difference in his body language, but to outsiders looking in, it looks friendly, if anything.

In private, though, be it when you're alone together or somewhere like the Wet Wick where he knows the Senobium cannot see... well now, that's a different story. He's almost always close by, if not touching you somehow - assuming you're okay with that, of course. If you tell him to keep his distance, he'll respect you enough to do so. But if you're okay with it, best get used to the feeling of that fluffy tail of his brushing against your legs or curling around your waist.

Oh, and if you offer ear scratches, he'll deny them, likely saying something about not wanting to mess up his hair. Do it anyway, though make sure nothing fragile is nearby. His tail swishes around like a dog's, and he's likely to break something if it's within wagging distance. He also gets adorably flustered about this because he can't control it, which makes it even better <3

Writing Masterlist 🐝 Requests Open! Tag List 🐝 @ajatinker @.mossmosis @.makobones

#beefriend-writes #touchstarved #touchstarved game #touchstarved vere #vere touchstarved #dating headcanons #fluffy

[hms-no-fun]

I hope this ask doesn't come off as rude at all-- and I apologize if it does!-- but as an aspiring writer, I'm honestly really confused by some of the early choices in Godfeels, and I'm curious if I'm just not "getting it". I saw some posts about it pop up in the tag (and they WERE very shitty and rude about it :/), but I'd love to hear your explanation/take on June's big character change immediately post-realization, and especially the... "Trickster Arc", I guess it could be called? The former I get to some extent, but I'm really curious about the choice to do all THAT so early in the story with the trickster candy.

Seriously love your work, your narration is honestly a big inspiration to me in terms of how meta it gets and how close it gets to communicating directly with both the main character AND the audience!

no rudeness detected at all! this is a great question, in fact it’s one i’ve been kinda hoping someone would ask because i’ve been thinking about this stuff a lot these last few months. but i get the sense that you’re at least a little new here, so uh, yeah, hello, when people ask me interesting questions i tend to answer at great length. so strap in for that after the break lmao. also as a note, there will be some spoilers for all of godfeels here but please don’t let that scare you away, they’re all contextless and, if anything, might honestly make the rest of the story *more* enjoyable as a result.

as far as "getting it" goes, i've talked at length about the how & why of the violence in godfeels in multiple places so i'll try to avoid rehashing that too much here. but one thing i want to emphasize right off the bat is that i never intended godfeels to be an ongoing thing. you talk about the trickster arc happening “so early in the story” but when i wrote godfeels 1 i didn’t plan on writing more. i didn’t even plan on making john trans! my idea of what the sum total of godfeels 2 would be when i started writing it wound up being completely different from the finished work. i didn’t plan to make this thing so long. i didn’t plan for june to accidentally on purpose kill her friends while drunk and then retcon it. i didn’t plan on turning the whole thing into a space opera. it all just happened to me, man. i kept writing because i kept finding more interesting things to say. and it’s important to specify that when i started gf1 i hadn’t written fiction in years. i think if you jumped ahead to godfeels 3 part 1 chapter 8, no matter how you feel about the content we’d at least be able to agree that in the years since 2019 i’ve become a much much better writer. if you want more insight into how my process has evolved, i’ve written so so so much about it, too much maybe even, in the #sarahposts tag.

anyway, now i want to talk about june's "big character change." the extent to which her trickster arc makes sense or feels in character seems to vary wildly from person to person. what always bugs me about "ooc" as a criticism is that godfeels starts six years and change after the end of homestuck. let's remember that the protagonists of homestuck were sixteen when the comic ended. now i want you to ask yourself if you as you were at 16 would think that you as you are now was "in character." or vice versa! probably not, right? it doesn’t even have to have been six years. i was STILL sixteen when i started to get embarrassed of who i was at sixteen!

that should be all i need to say, but it isn’t. and it doesn't really get to the core of the issue anyway. i am not nor have i ever been interested in writing "a sequel to homestuck,” even though it has kind of just become that anyway. godfeels has always been about the meaty existential drama you can tease out through the complicated character dynamics of these fucked up traumatized gods. godfeels has always been my way of analyzing the themes and ideas of homestuck, the existential ramifications of the mechanics of SBURB and the classpects and retcon (let’s remember that i wrote godfeels around the same time that i took over hosting duties on the perfectly generic podcast). godfeels has also always been about me and my trauma. i even used to joke that june was my self-insert character, though i've seen that line repeated unironically by enough people who haven't read godfeels that i've stopped saying it. because it's not true! june is very, very different from me... i just happen to see my life reflected in her eyes.

to immediately rehash what i said i wouldn't, june eg8ert arose out of my frustration with most versions of the june egbert headcanon particularly in the summer of 2019. let's call her "hairclips june." hairclips june is always smiling, usually with smiling friends, she's wearing hairclips and has nonzero tit and is A Woman Now. as i said in my video, while i don't begrudge anyone their comfort food, this simply was not my experience with coming out as a trans woman. and of all the characters, i’d always identified most with john. also i thought, you know, these kids are SERIOUSLY messed up, every single one of them has died multiple times, they've seen things and done things no one should ever have to. and retcon! god, what a mindfuck retcon is.

those are the primal ingredients of godfeels. what if june came out and everyone wasn't chill about it? some folks say that's out of character and, idk, i guess that's arguably true. but i had friends who were very vocal trans allies who’d been in queer relationships who still stopped talking to me after i came out. let me tell you i spent a lot of time fucked up in the head over how "out of character" that was for them, to the extent that i blamed myself for their reaction because surely they couldn't be so out of character. to which one might respond, well, why do this as a homestuck fic then? why not just do my own original thing instead?

and i guess the answer is that i didn't want to and i still don't, really. it's not just about the characters for me. i like the rules of the homestuck universe. i find it interesting how it mechanically reflects being a fictional narrative. and, you know, maybe it's easier for me to process violent intrusive thoughts through a character who is capable of acting on those thoughts and then immediately undoing them consequence-free. retcon is, in fact, sort of the perfect mechanism for exploring violent intrusive thoughts because it lets us play out the fantasy without lasting diegetic harm, such that we can just focus on the existential and moral questions of the phenomenon itself. and like, yeah, that’s not everyone’s cup of tea. but isn’t it still just as valid a topic to explore in fiction as anything else?

like em or not, people have intrusive thoughts. people have violent impulses. sometimes they even act on them. the unpleasantness of a phenomenon shouldn’t dictate whether it is acceptable to depict in fiction-- if anything, we ought to take our instinctive desire to look away as an urgent invitation to look closer instead. as i’ve been wont to say for years and years now, “problematic” implies a problem to be solved. that which is human is inherently complicated. to pretend it’s all good or bad excises humanity from the equation, or at least flattens the range of acceptable humanity. all of which is my extremely soapboxy way of saying (as i’ve said a million times by now), yes, godfeels june is problematic. that is in fact what godfeels is about.

there's an extent to which i think this can be blamed on how rooted we are IN june's perspective in gf1 and 2. i don't think people really appreciate the fact that godfeels 1 is john threatening to commit suicide and almost going through with it. that's the context in which her friends react poorly to her coming out; i mean, she's literally sleeping on rose's couch because everyone's so worried about her! i think that, by being completely within june's perspective for all of these events, we don't really get a good sense of the interpersonal dynamics at play (probably because i didn't even really understand them myself until later). instead we just see people who should know better acting like dicks.

i think whether or not june’s trickster arc is canonically palatable to you depends very much on whether or not you've had a dear friend disappoint you so much that you're no longer on speaking terms.

but if we want to reel this back from the abstract philosophical, maybe it’s enough to say that we just have different interpretations of these characters? they’re not monoliths, you know. different people see different things in different characters. some folks get a lot out of hairclips june and that’s okay. maybe i was a bitch about other people’s headcanons back in 2019 when redditors were calling me and my friends abusive pedophiles for liking vriska, but i gave up that fight when the redditors got what they wanted (to harass a group of queer creators offline and out of their jobs). if someone wants to woobify gamzee, whatever man, go right ahead. that ain’t my cup of tea and i personally don’t think that’s very in character either, but that’s why i don’t read it. it ain’t for me and that’s fine. i like homestuck BECAUSE these characters can mean so many things to so many people. is this variability not precisely the thing that makes the postcanon era so interesting?

i have my idea of who these characters are based on who they were in the comic and i work very hard to keep them in character, but i also don't want them to be trapped in amber. i want them to grow and change and become different people, because homestuck itself is obsessed with inescapable absolute archetypes (ie the ultimate self, or the captchalogue system) and i enjoy troubling that. i enjoy swimming in a sea of weird problematic dilemmas. that’s what’s fun about fiction for me, you can think about and write about all the most difficult and even fucked up things you like, and it definitionally cannot cause real material nonconsensual harm to another human being. and yet we get so tied up in the question of harm anyway! maybe that makes sense when talking about marvel movies, but this is fanfiction we’re talking about. this is HOMESTUCK fanfiction. if i were to go on twitter right now and post “homestuck is good” i’d end the day with at least five comments saying “lol no it’s not.” SOME OF THOSE PEOPLE WILL HAVE HOMESTUCK AVATARS. there are few things as cringe as liking homestuck even among people who like homestuck, so who cares? i like homestuck, i like the epilogues, i like hs2, and i think a pretty gargantuan majority of this fandom are subliterate babies. that’s why i don’t engage with them or make much of an attempt to bridge the gap. i think godfeels and its cool little fandom is all the better for how much work it requires of the reader to “get it” as it were. i wish more people would give it a chance, or at the very least not immediately throw me and a lot of my friends under the bus at every possible opportunity, but what can you do? i just write. people will react how they will react. what matters to me is that it stays true to itself as a work, and that it grows with me and my audience and my collaborators. trying to backpedal or soften the edges would just ruin the whole thing, likely alienate my current readers and inevitably invite even more bad faith readings. no thanks!

some folks stop reading godfeels after june's trickster arc, and i can respect that. if you get to that part of the story and don't like it, chances are you're not gonna like the rest of it! and in that sense, i guess you could say i “chose” to have june’s trickster arc happen so “early on” as a litmus test for the reader. as annoying as it can be feeling like i’m constantly having to address this exact issue, i vastly prefer it to a bunch of people hate-reading something that wasn’t made for them. but again, i didn’t know this was “early on” when i wrote it, because i didn’t plan it to happen. i didn’t intend for june to go on a killing spree, she just did it and i as writer decided, you know what? this is way more interesting than what i had planned. and then dirk became the antagonist because, oops, june coming out fucked up all the schemes he has that play out in the homestuck epilogues. and i guess in THAT sense, the palatability of godfeels depends on whether or not you liked and/or tolerated the homestuck epilogues and homestuck^2. these, too, are not for everyone. but godfeels is not a replacement for them, as some folks like to claim (god bless them). i’m not interested in rewriting homestuck or fixing its sequels. ok well that’s not entirely true, i think the epilogues did jake REAL dirty and that’s become a big focus of mine going forward. but even then, i don’t pretend the epilogues didn’t happen. in fact if you’ve read all of 3.1, you know just how cosmically important they end up being.

but this is, i guess, kind of the crux of the issue for me. june’s trickster arc happens very early on in the story, yes, and that’s deliberately challenging on a lot of levels. june spends a great deal of time being challenged by it herself! but folks who stop there (if they even make it that far) often act like the whole story is grimdark wish-fulfillment violence or me airing out my irrational hatred of Boys (????), and that's just not true. i don’t give a shit about that. we get to june's trickster arc at around the 25,000 word mark, out of the current grand total of over 400,000 words. her violence is functionally the prologue, and she spends the entire rest of this story suffering the consequences of those actions. so if i am frustrated with this line of questioning, a lot of it comes down to the fact that if you just read the rest of the story you’d see that i have in fact had all of the same thoughts you’ve likely had. i know people who think i did dirk dirty in gf2, and i actually kind of agree! which is why dirk comes back and has a difficult, complicated relationship with his past self. people complain about certain characters being ooc, which i can certainly understand because when i started godfeels i really did not have a great grasp on them! but also, if you kept reading godfeels you’d know that the tension of whether or not someone is cosmically “in character” is a huge running theme of this story. june’s friends react poorly to her coming out in part because it seems out of character for her! hell, phenomenologically how *could* june be in character after coming out when she barely even knows who she is yet? her whole thing in gf1 is that she doesn’t know who she is anymore! just realizing that you’re trans changes you, changes how you see the world, how you relate to other people. or it did for me, anyway. risk, dare, X, angel dirk, and silverbark are all sorts of caught up in this question. and if you’ve gotten to the end of 3.1 you’ll know about the concept of denexustic radiation:

and that’s just the tip of the metaphysical iceberg. all of which is to say that this is a feature, not a bug. so it’s always very funny to me when people drop out so early on only to complain about the very same problematics that i’ve spent three years and 400,000 words exploring.

BUT. but. yeah godfeels 1 and 2 are messy. the gf3 prologue is very messy. it’s a serial narrative that has changed shape multiple times over the years, and barring a bit of polish on gf1 around when i started writing gf3 i generally refuse to go back and rewrite things. there’s a lot i would do differently today, but if i had done it differently then the story as it is today would not exist. and i love this story! i might look back on gf2 and feel like it’s rushed and messy, but i know that it was the best i could do at the time. it’s a reflection of who i was as a writer then. i live with the ramifications of that for the same reason i don’t delete the old videos on my channel from before i came out/learned what communism was: because i don’t like to pretend that the present was always present. i’m a different person now, a different writer. i made mistakes, i learned, and i changed. i will continue this process for the rest of my natural life, as will you.

ultimately i guess my answer here is that godfeels is a flawed work written by a flawed person, and the extent to which readers relate to it seems to have a lot to do with how much their flaws overlap with mine. i get lots of people telling me my characters are in character. i get people telling me they’re more in character than some canon! and it’s not that i weigh those comments as more valuable, i just see it as an indication of who my audience is. i’m not writing for people who want more hiveswap, and i’m certainly not writing for people who dismissed hs^2 out of hand. i’m just writing for myself and my friends, and it just so happens that some people seem to get a lot out of it.

i’m gonna close out here by actually finally directly addressing your question with what i think you were ultimately hoping for: some writing advice.

the rules don’t exist. there are things that can make some art better or some art worse but they are not universal. the rules are fake and if you hold every story you touch to those rules, you’re gonna have a bad time. a story is not static and it is never truly yours. you discover it. sometimes you can expand it or alter it in ways but, at least in my experience, doing so more often than not just kills the whole thing-- or at least demands a complete reconceptualization. all of which takes time, and we live in a world where taking time to get in touch with and hone your craft is considered sort of a bad economic decision. but art is what it is and it does what it does and we can either play with it or we can put it in a cage.

what i like about making art is that i am not entirely in control. i have my plans, my schemes, my ideas, but the fun of writing is just putting a bunch of characters in a room together and seeing what they do. quite often they do things i would never expect, that are far truer to their character than i anticipated. my experience has always been that the more you outline a story before you write it, the harder it is to actually write that story. when i know everything that’s gonna happen on a moment to moment level, the whole thing falls dead on the page. but obviously you need to know SOME things! and i’ll say that from the inception of gf3 back in december 2019 to now, very very few of the broad strokes of my plans have changed. if you’ve read all of 3.1 you know there’s a very specific timeline at play in the backstory of a group of characters we’ll be spending a lot of time with in 3.2. there are no questions or mysteries or whatever else i’ve introduced to this story that i did not have at least the sense of an explanation for. but these are simply bullet points that dictate the endpoint of a path and suggest something of the moral/philosophical/emotional arc that needs to occur in order to get there. the real meat of it comes out in the act of writing itself, and that’s what i’m here for. it’s a gamble that doesn’t always pay off, and it does mean that i have almost 80,000 words of material i ended up rewriting or cutting sitting in a doc somewhere, but that’s worth it for me.

if art is to be relevant, it must have the capacity to make an audience uncomfortable. if art is to be essential, it must have the capacity to demand a strong reaction (positive or negative) from everyone who sees it. if art is to be true, it must have the capacity to reflect the disquiet contradictions of simple existence that we desperately wish to ignore in our daily lives. that doesn’t mean everyone has to or should read difficult art, or like it, or make it. but it has always existed and it will always exist, and i think it is essential for writers and critics alike to learn to stop themselves from mistaking a common storytelling method for THE storytelling method. and frankly, most of the art i love most in this world is art that i didn’t particularly like the first time we crossed paths.

and lastly, never forget the inarguable truth that the audience bears quite a lot of responsibility in this equation. you are never, as a writer, inflicting anything on your reader, because your reader can always opt out at any moment they wish. if something doesn’t work, yeah, that’s a problem you can fix. art is a conversation in that way, or at least ought to be. but at the same time, art has no obligation to be perfect, or smooth, or easy to consume. the rules are fake. they exist to be broken. the pursuit of perfection is a dead end. just make shit

okay this one has gone on QUITE long enough lmao i hope there’s something useful in there for you somewhere and uhhhh i hope you enjoy the rest of godfeels if you haven’t already read it!

#sarahposts #godfeels #homestuck #writing advice #problematic art #transgender writing #june egbert #homestuck epilogues #homestuck2 #trickster arc

[author-main]

May we listen to your Ordon village, Shad and Link headcanons please?

Henlo Haiiiii I hope you don't mind me saying Twilight instead. My TP Link and Twilight HCs are pretty much the exact same.

Ordon Village

I end up basing Ordon's cuisine off of food I've had here in GA. Specifically soul food.

Ordonian humans have goat pupils!

The Ordonians didn't even know Twilight existed until he was 11. He lived on the outskirts of the village. But no one had ever seen him.

Fado, Ilia, and Twilight are around the same age.

Rusl isn't that much older than Twilight. Was probably in his mid-20s when Twi was 11. I consider them more like brothers with a huge age gap.

The Ordonians are fond of Twi but still keep him at arm's length.

Ordon has Seasonal Festivals.

Twilight

Sorry to say this... my guy's got the big D... Depression

Migraines too. You betcha the migraines and the depression made each other worse.

As I said with the Legend hcs, Twi's transformation physically changed him. But it also messed with his sleep cycle.

His parents were literally the worst. Like they're so bad that I don't even want to give them faces or names. Twilight doesn't remember their faces at all. But if he did, if he ever met them, they're as good as dead. They're the two people he genuinely hates.

I can say, though, Twilight is Ordonian/Hylian on his father's side. And Holodran on his mother's. He has his father's eyes.

He's a really good cook, but needs an actual kitchen. he's not too good at cooking out on the road.

Shad

Shad's not really rich. His mother is, though.

His mother, Betta, was so scared of what could happen to Shad that she never let him out of the house and hid him in the basement whenever someone came over to the house. He even missed his father's funeral because of her fears.

Shad says that he's not a physically formidable person. But he's actually pretty strong and at least a little experienced in swordfighting.

Much of the expensive-looking stuff in his apartment are actually gifts from Betta.

He's a dog person. Shad and cats do not get along.

Shad also is good at cooking.

#author's ask box #aluw #shadlink #author's hcs

[bruhhhh-huhhhhh]

first off, i’m special so these aren’t closed for me 😍.

okay i’m like 5’5 i think… dunno.

glasses, medium length brown hair, it’s like two inches above my shoulders, i have a biting problem.

i cannot leave unless i am wearing my converse, no other shoes.

i wear the same outfit everyday, jeans, tshirt, hoodie and converse.

i take way to many photos of the people i love, i looove cooking.

i have both daddy and mommy issues.

i don’t like headphones only earbuds? earphones? (idk help)

i fucking love pink, purple and green.

hmmmmmmmm, i have to listen to music if i’m not at home (i listen to music there too)

i do unfortunately enjoy the taste of cigarettes.

i’m terrified of touch but crave it.

is this good 😰?

fuck yeah boiiiiiii

(id like to formally apologize for that)

Oklay anyway for Overwatch I match you with...

Junkrat

Honestly my boy loves how much shorter than him you are

Don't worry though he won't make fun of you for it

not too much anyway

everything he buys you is pink, purple, or green after you tell him those are your favorite colors

offers to do your top surgery (don't let him he'll use bombs)

he doesn't get your obsession with converse (neither do i, buddy. neither do i) but he'll get them for you anyway

sometimes forgets how much touch scares you

it takes roadhog telling him off for jumping on you for him to get it

he'll be more careful after that

He loves posing for your pictures

no shame at all

will also let you take nudes of him but anyway thats for later

please cook for him he never has time to eat normal food

compliments your cooking all the time

he will get on his hands and knees and beg for you to cook for him bc its so good

also has a biting problem

likes to nibble on your shoulders

has broken your glasses at least once and roadhog had to fix them for you

and for Resident Evil I match you with...

Chris and Leon!

(i couldn't pick one LOL)

Best cure for daddy issues tbh

They both smoke I'm pretty sure, so you'll definitely get your taste of cigarettes when you kiss them

Leon would definitely help you cook dinner

Chris, meanwhile, is banned from the kitchen because he can't cook to save his life

no one can tell me otherwise

anyway

Leon would definitely try and get you to branch out your outfits a little more, but Chris honestly finds your outfits cool as fuck

mostly because he wishes he could pull that off all the time

You have the best photos of the two of them arguing or doing stupid shit

Because they literally never stop arguing or doing stupid shit

Leon supplies your music addiction while Chris sits there and tries to talk to you, not realizing you have your headphones in

I'm talking full ass conversation that only stops when Leon tells him that you're listening to music and can't hear him

They never speak of it

Leon does use it as embarrassment fuel for whenever you aren't around

anyway thats all i got hope this is good idk im half alseep rn

#overwatch #overwatch 2 #overwatch2 #resident evil #junkerqueen simp supreme #junkrat overwatch #overwatch junkrat #junkrat x reader #chris redfield x reader #chris redfield x leon s kennedy #leon s kennedy x reader #leon x reader #leon resident evil #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy #chris x leon #chris x leon x reader #matchups! #resident evil matchup #overwatch matchup

[jonathansknife]

More Mina!

I assume you mean more headcanons, in which case here you go! Ty for the ask!!!

Link to previous headcanons

She is around 21-22 years old during the events of the book (a baby :(.)

She feeds stray animals whenever she can.

She's a bit of a jealous person, but feels her jealousy is illogical and tries never to act on it. When Lucy got engaged to Arthur, despite how happy she was for them both, she got a bit sad and thought Lucy might tire of her once she was a married woman. She tried to hide her jealousy but it wasn't very hard for Lucy to suss out. Lucy had to gently remind her that she was already engaged to Jonathan. Mina was just like, “Yeah but that's Jonathan, he's one of us, he doesn't count.”

She, Jonathan and Lucy have all known each other their entire lives. As children they would all talk about getting married and Mina had a running joke of proposing to them both. But before she and Jonathan started courting in earnest, she secretly hoped he would marry Lucy because she couldn't imagine a lovelier couple.

She was very easily scared as a child but grew to love horror. Similarly, she cried often as a child but rarely does as an adult.

Elaborating on her OCD: she mainly has moral/scrupulosity obsessions but also has occasional episodes of distrusting her food, during which she sometimes spends several minutes inspecting each piece. This is especially the case after Dracula (not being able to taste or smell anything but rot doesn't help). Sometimes she worries that her food is contaminated with blood. For this reason, she prefers to make her own food.

Since she likes both fibercrafts and papercrafts, she really enjoys bookbinding. She also finds the process of gathering up a stack of information and binding it together satisfying on a conceptual level. She's probably made at least one fully bound copy of Dracula.

She likes rhythmic counting. She uses it as a calming technique.

She has relatively short hair (about shoulder length) because it was once cut off for purported health purposes (in the Victorian era this was a common treatment for brain fever among other things). She likes having it short.

She has creaky joints.

She enjoys really cursed food combinations that disturb the people around her. Again, especially true post Drac. I'm thinking instant ramen with chocolate syrup levels of cursed.

As a child she wanted to be a priest or an undertaker when she grew up.

Don't give her your pens and pencils if you don't like germs because they will end up in her mouth if she isn't paying attention.

Her hands are very sensitive after Dracula. She used to like when Jonathan squeezed her hands but after what happened she prefers to gently hold his hand or wrist. She often wears gloves.

She occasionally writes poetry. She especially likes sonnets.

She is not genuinely superstitious, but she, Lucy and Jonathan like to cycle through superstitions together to sort of test them out. They spend too much time in cemeteries to hold their breath the whole time, but they often hold it as they enter and leave so as not to spread the cemetery air. For a while they carried pigeon feathers because they were thought to hold off death. (This was generally thought to be a negative thing, prolonging the suffering of the dying, but they thought maybe they could “hack” the superstition and use it to their advantage.)

That's all I've got for now. If you wanted a different question answered regarding Mina (or any character), let me know! My askbox is always open and I love talking about my beloved blorbo <3

Send me character asks!

#tysm for the ask aaaa I love answering qs about Mina!!! #pls send more asks or tell me about your own hcs in my askbox #mina murray #mina harker #dracula #re: dracula #dracula daily

[slocumjoe]

I thoroughly enjoy your takes on the relationship between Danse and Hancock post-BB, with Hancock being the local cat and laying on Danse every chance he gets because He Gets Him. It's very, very sweet and it really seems like the kind of reaction I'd expect out of Johnny given his personality.

YOU FOOL, YOU GAVE ME AN EXCUSE TO TALK AT LENGTH ABOUT MY ENEMIES-TO-FRIENDS FANFIC ARC

Trigger warnings for suicide, self-harm, drug use, alcoholism, sexual assault/groping, and a mental breakdown. This is not fun.

Also this is insanely long. It's so long. This took me 4 hours to type with a single 2-Taco break. Is if fanfic if there's only, like, 5 bits of dialog? Is this fanfic? Oh my God what is wrong with me

Hancock's (and the others') opinion of Danse starts shifting sometime during the Minuteman arc, when Augustijn starts really greasing the wheels to get the Minutemen up and at 'em.

So, they've all had some time to get to know Danse on a basic level. Hancock, in particular, knows him enough to know he fucking hates him. Everything about him. The way he talks, the tones he takes, his goody-two-shoes speel when he's an asshole. Everything. Hancock cannot fucking stand him and is constantly going at Danse's throat, sometimes just because he's bored and it's so easy to piss him off, sometimes he's genuinely hoping Danse starts a fight that Hancock can and will finish.

But then they go through one of the settlements, one day. Hancock kind of wanders off. Not too far, but away from the gang. A few people see a ghoul on his own and try it. He gets swarmed, they're trying to make him throw the first hit thinking he won't but there's a lot more of them, and Gus and the others have moved on. So, Hancock's in a bad fucking way—

—until a big, metal hand blocks a bat aimed at his dome.

Danse gives the assholes one hard look, and very few wastelanders will look up at a T50 helmet and think they stand much chance. But Danse gets in front of Hancock anyway, arm still out and over him. His would-be attackers slink off quick.

Danse makes sure Hancock isn't injured, then asks he not wander off like that again, for that very reason. Not even angry, or annoyed, or derisive. Just genuinely worried about his safety. And walks him back to the others.

Hancock has no fucking idea what to think of that exchange.

Danse sees Hancock wander off, he follows him, he sees he was in danger, he helps him.

Hancock would not have done the same for Danse. And it fucking bothers him that, despite everything, Danse still went out of his way, looking out for him. Next time they camp for the night, he has Isadora go ask the big guy about it. Fuck no, he's not asking himself.

Isa reports back that Danse just...thinks he has to. It's his job to make sure all of these civilians are safe. He does it for everything else, why wouldn't he then? Hancock was in danger. Danse is the guy who gets in front and takes the danger himself. It's that simple to him.

See, Danse is the dude in Power Armor. Danse takes the hits in a fight, because they bounce right off. Deathclaws? Danse gets in front. Mutants? Danse gets in front. And, apparently...bigots? ...Danse gets in front of those...too...despite...what the fuck?

If Hancock didn't hate Danse before, he certainly does now, because now Danse has gone and made shit complicated. He likes his jackasses nice and simple with nothing deeper than the skin, and...whatever that was, that was layered. And Hancock doesn't like thinking too much about people he can't stand. Especially not when he might just think they're not that bad.

The same thing happens with Nick, somewhere in Diamond City. Someone scared and mistrustful and thinking old Valentine went and turned coat, they attack Nick in broad daylight, take a shovel at him. Danse is there before they get a hit in. Nick. He goes out of his way to keep Nick safe. And where Hancock loathes him for it, Nick gets something of a respect for the guy.

Hancock talks to others, when its private. Preston isn't sure what to think of him, but Preston keeps his cards close to his chest, so who knows. Bobby thinks he's fine when he isn't talking. Piper gets irritated when he fusses over her, her recklessness. No one really knows what to make of this one fucking guy, beyond finding him pretensious and self-righteous.

So it's just Hancock, who's really turning Danse over in his head. But Nick, he's clearly got an opinion, got a read on crew-cut. He just doesn't share with the class. But Hancock thinks Nick sees something in him, because he takes utmost care to make coffee the way Danse seems to like it. Hancock confronts him on this, and the old bag of bolts just shrugs, says, "Well, he deals with things we don't want to deal with. We owe him that much, don't we?"

On Danse's side, Hancock isn't notable. Hancock is one of many in this motley group that dislikes him and wants him gone. Danse keeps to himself anyway, and is used to being the odd one out. To him, it doesn't matter. His job is to protect them and join Knight Reinier on his mission. What he thinks of Reinier's group is irrelevant. He does his job even if they don't want him to. What, is he supposed to let them die? Just because they don't like him? Abhorrent. Even if Hancock seemingly wants to gut him and is a nightmare to deal with, he is under his protection. Regardless how either of them feel about it.

Hancock notices this about Danse and fumes. He doesn't want to be taken care of by someone he fucking loathes. He hates debts. He hates morality and shit not making sense. He hates feeling like he doesn't have all the answers already.

This confusion...continues? Worsens? When Danse's nature is revealed.

Augustijn is off in the Institute, tentatively trying to broker peace, get Isadora the title of Director, when the gang gets the word. They're waiting at the Boston Airport at the teleporter. Danse was left at the Sentinel Site. Maxson storms down from his blimp, asks if any of them knew about Danse.

The Brotherhood is hunting Danse, now.

Haylen catches them as they leave to find him. Tells them where to go. Hancock can't stop making jokes and laughing. It's funny. It's ironic. It's a great joke to play on someone. It's perfect. It's the best punishment ever. It might just mean Danse finally—

Danse might—

The others, some of them saw it coming. Hancock didn't. If he did, he'd have rubbed it in Danse's face, stuck it in place of his name, spat it out at him with a grin.

They get to that bunker, Nick, Dogmeat, and Curie take the elevator down. X6-88, a courser who should really be trying to capture Danse, is off to the Institute to get Gus and Isa.

They wait outside. Nick and Curie don't come up the elevator. Cait wonders if Danse really did kill himself. She turns the thought over in her head, and says it seems fitting even if she hadn't thought of it before. Preston turns green where he stares at the setting sun and agrees. Says he always thought about it. Danse almost always took nightshift. So did Preston. They'd argue over it, insist the other one needed sleep more. "Most people want to sleep," Preston says, and by his face alone, Hancock really does think Danse is fucking dead down there.

He takes the elevator. He has to know.

Maybe he's—maybe it's because of himself. Maybe Hancock remembers sitting in an old ruin, huffing poison, so desperate he actually prayed that it'd kill him. He hates Danse. Hates him. Does he hate him that much? Maybe its principle. I want to kill you myself, so you can't—

He gets down there. Hears Nick. Hears Curie. Doesn't hear Danse. But Nick is talking, addressing him, the situation, so he must be alive. Curie promises Augustijn should be there soon, please take a moment to breathe. Danse laughs and Hancock about shits himself because that isn't a noise Paladin Fucking Danse makes, and he never wants to hear that fucking noise again.

It takes so long. Nick talks and talks and talks, and so does Curie, and Danse barely says anything. Danse rarely talked, anyway. It's normal for him. He's a quiet guy. Keeps to himself. He never joined in conversation. Hancock liked that about him, he knew when he wasn't wanted. Hancock wonders if he would have ever spoken to them if they didn't try and fuck with him. Deacon would move his tools in garages. MacCready pestered him with inane questions to see how deep he'd scowl. Cait and Hancock both loudly discussed if he was a virgin.

It sets in, there.

Hancock tried to, too. Hancock went through with it and it didn't take. Danse was still going. He was letting Nick talk. Letting Dogmeat whine at his legs. Letting Curie check his arms, take his weaponry.

Danse had every reason to do it. Every reason, and no reason not to. No one would miss him, pity him. It was his job, anyway. He could have done it and Hancock would have thrown a party celebrating that the fuckhead was dead. But he didn't. He didn't. He wasn't going to. He fucking wanted to, God knows that, Nick never stopped talking him down, but Danse didn't do shit and Hancock didn't know if that made him a coward or—or—

Gus and Isa showed up. Augustijn threw himself at Danse. Isa told Hancock the old man, his baby? Shaun. Gone. Gone for good. They were at his bedside. Saw him off.

Hancock hears Augustijn sob, turns to peek into the window. Danse holds Augustijn like he himself has no problems in the world, like he's already forgotten he's a synth. Hancock leaves and Isa follows him out. Everything after that is a blur, save for Maxson showing up. Then things are a blur again. Danse tries to stay the bunker. Preston, shaky in the legs after his General tried to fistfight the Elder of the Brotherhood, says fuck no.

Curie and X6 took Danse back to Sanctuary. The rest of them got to watch Maxson and Desdemona agree, for once, as Isadora insisted they not blow up the Institute. Hancock remembers jackshit else.

The Minutemen take over the Institute with the Brotherhood and Railroad's help, and Isa gets her very own group to boss around. Synths get taken care off, the Institute stops being shitheads, the Brotherhood sticks around to make sure Isa keeps her promises.

Hancock pretends it didn't happen. He still torments Danse. He still pesters him. Danse reacts...better. He lets Hancock do it, doesn't defend himself. Hancock brings it up, teases him, regrets it immediately even if Danse doesn't react. He doesn't do that again.

They go back to Sanctuary. Augustijn is a wreck. Isadora is below ground, hard at work. Hancock finds Danse. It's like nothing happened. He acts the same. Seems the same. Augustijn frets over him before duty calls him away. Gus and Isadora are gone, trying to figure out the new political sphere of the Commonwealth. The rest of them take a well-earned break.

Danse kind of vanishes.

They know he's there, he's around. Just working. Always on guard duty, always performing maintenance. They don't see him. That's usually how it is, so Hancock thinks it's fine. He goes to buy more chems. Lady there says hey, that guy you always bitched about? I think he's loosening up, finally. Been buying grape mentats.

He knows he should say something and he doesn't. He likes chems. Its good that Danse is doing them, now. Its good. And grape mentats! Maybe he'll finally make friends, be tolerable. Maybe he'll even get laid. Next time Hancock sees him, Danse has dropped too many pounds. He tells himself its fine.

The wasteland gets its peace. The Institute is going to actually help, now. The RR and BOS won't go to war with anyone. To celebrate, they all go drinking. Preston and Curie drag Danse along but they all lose him in a corner pretty quickly. Hancock sends some shots his way but doesn't pay attention. No one does. They party and forget that Danse is there at all. Hancock turns around and Danse is gone. He asks the bartender if he noticed where he went. Out the door, he says. Got himself a friend for the night, looks like. Danse doesn't do that. Hancock trips and breaks his stool, he's out of that bar so fast. Finds Danse barely standing in the alley and his 'friend' is far too handsy. Cait deals with her. He didn't realize Cait was behind him but he focuses on getting Danse...somewhere. Fucker is pretty light. He shouldn't be.

Hancock ends up dropping him anyway. Sees his face and almost pukes because he knows that fucking look and this is his fault. He kept sending him shots. He didn't look at him once, or invite him over to the bar. He left him to chug alone in a corner when all of them were partying. Danse was in trouble and just like he thought he would, Hancock didn't do shit.

He tries to pick him up again. Danse takes one heaving breath and drops his face in the dirt and cries. Hancock looks at Cait and she's off to find Nick, or Curie, or anyone who doesn't hate Danse.

He doesn't know what to do. He just pats his back awkwardly. Danse, whenever one of them was upset, always offered a hug. They usually took it. MacCready took it. Isadora took it. He even hugged Curie, the first time she couldn't save someone. Danse admitted, once, that he just never knew what else to do.

So Hancock pulls him up and hugs him. Tries to. Danse is heavy even if he's dropped a third of his weight and Hancock goes stumbling down against the wall, with a drunk, hurt Danse in his lap. He thinks its working, having his arms around him, until Danse starts babbling.

It's exactly what you would expect and yet Hancock isn't ready for it. You hear it from yourself, its normal. You hear it from someone else and its the worst thing you've ever heard. But the worst part is that Danse keeps saying sorry. Sorry for crying, for being drunk, for being heavy, for being awful, for being alive. He's sorry, a million times he's sorry.

Hancock never once wanted it. Not before, when he really did hate him, and not now, not like this. He tries to quiet him down, tell him its fine, but then Danse starts begging him to kill him. Thats when his heart starts beating so loud he can't hear anything else, when everything gets blurry again.

Nick shows up. Helps drag him to a hotel room. Shushes him when he begs for death because he can't kill himself, he promised Augustijn he wouldn't, and just flops him on the bed. Hancock throws up in the bathroom.

Nick says he'll stay and keep an eye on Danse. Hancock digs through Danse's coat, finds the key to his apartment somewhere in the Concord district.

It's not as bad as he was expecting, but worse in a different way. There's a present for Piper's birthday half-wrapped, a box of her favorite lemon candy that's so expensive, she doesn't even look at it when they find it. A photo album of his time in the Brotherhood. Booze everywhere. No decor. It's lonely and small, like Listening Post Bravo. What worries Hancock is that there's weaponry. He finds an empty box and shoves all of Danse's kitchen knives in, his forks and spoons too so he can't stab himself or scoop out his eyes. He even debates taking his coffee machine. They're like toasters, right? Could he kill himself with one? But then Hancock says fuck it. He isn't letting Danse stay here period. Not like this. The knives and forks and spoons can stay. He takes the coffee pot anyway, because it made a truly rancid noise when he unplugged it and it stinks of burnt circuitry. Danse deserves better.

He finds Nick the next morning and tells him everything. The mentats, the weightloss, Danse's shitty apartment, everything that Hancock's been worried about and then some. Nick tells Hancock that he already knew about the mentats. Danse woke up in the night and puked and it was purple. Neon purple.

Hancock laughs at it, tells Nick he kept sending Danse shots when he was on chems and wonders when he'll stop being a shitty friend. Nick claps him on the shoulder and tells him shitty friends don't care about coffee pots.

He goes to see Danse, first thing when the sun is up. Big guy's face down on his pillow, face pickle-green and scrunched up as Curie lists off various coping mechanisms in place of alcohol and drugs. Hancock shoos her away. Danse asks Hancock if he's willing to tell him what the fuck happened. Nick won't. Curie doesn't know. Cait only said she 'dealt with it' and 'it won't be happening again' and 'they'll never find her' and 'she had pineapple gum on her, do you want some?'

Hancock tells him, and over the retelling of the shitshow from last night, comes to appreciate just how expressive Danse can be. His scowls were always incredible to watch, like his very skull was scrunching up. The thought is all he has to get through it without...puking again? Crying? Grabbing him by the shoulders and screaming at him for the love of fuck, we don't hate you?

Danse blinks owlishly. Clicks his tongue. Shrugs, slaps his knees, and stands to leave. Says it was unfortunate and he won't be doing it again, he's so sorry for the inconvenience—wait, why do you have my coffee pot?

Hancock looks at the fucking coffee pot under his arm, and looks at Danse, and gives it to him straight. He's too exhausted for anything else. He has it because it's shitty. Its a shitty coffee pot from a shitty apartment in a shitty part of Sanctuary. Danse is a fucking tech genius, or whatever, if he wanted a good coffee pot he could make one. He could spend money on one, and not lemon candy for Piper. He could borrow one, or get coffee at the little Cafe down his street that gives it free. Its a shitty machine and its shitty that he puts up with it, just like he puts up with all of them being shitty, even long after he arguably deserved it. He doesn't deserve shitty coffee. Nick got that before anyone else did. Danse doesn't deserve half of what he's ended up with. Hancock hates him but he hates himself more, so that just means he fucking hates that Danse is ending up the same way Hancock did. Burying everything in chems and booze and acting like nothing is wrong, or if it is, it doesn't bother him. He hates that he got what he wanted, Danse miserable and hating himself as much as Hancock does and one bad day away from killing himself. Most of all, he hates how little he could blame him if he did, and he hates how Danse really did end up being the better, bigger man who had to decency to feel bad about it all.

They stare at each other for a minute.

Hancock throws the stupid fucking coffee maker across the room and stands and screams we never fucking hated you either! They just didn't know him! He never let them! They never let him let them! It was an endless cycle of Danse being stand-offish, so they'd keep away, and then he'd take the hint and stand even farther away, so they'd keep fucking doing it, and look where it's led, you're so far away, we don't even know where the fuck you are to reach out and fucking help you!

Danse asks why Hancock should feel bad. He looks at Danse and asks how the fuck he ever got that T50 helmet on, having a skull that fucking thick. Danse was a shithead but so were all of them, so was Hancock. And then the big idiot shakes his head, looks like a kicked puppy, says he never hated them, did they all think that? He was hard on them but he never meant to—

You'd think he'd spoken in tongues, or grown his nose back. Danse looks a mix of hurt, confused, and guilty. Hancock doesn't want him to be any of that, he wants him to fucking understand. He wants him to see that it isn't just Augustijn who's scared for him. And he doesn't know how to make him see that, if Danse could ever see that.

Danse just...looks at the corpse of his coffee machine.

And again, apologizes for the heinous fucking crime of not doing a good enough job at powering through the worst time of his life for all of their comfort. How dare he bother them. Hancock wonders if this is how people feel looking at him, listening to his bullshit. But at least Hancock can look people in the eye while he does it. Danse stares at that broken, thrown away piece of garbage with a lump in his throat and looks like he wants to crumple into a ball and die on the floor.

"I know you're weird about the ghoul thing, but seriously, man, do you need a hug?"

"...pardon?"

"Do you want a fucking hug?"

His eyes water and widen and he flinches like he's been shot, and Hancock decides fuck it, if he doesn't like it, he can chuck me across the room.

Danse...probably likes it? He does—well, he doesn't do a lot of crying, he cried everything out last night. But there's crying. Buries his big stupid head in Hancock's shoulder and clings to him like a kid does a teddy bear after a nightmare. Hancock has always been a hands-on, touchy guy. He doesn't mind cuddling this asshole if that means he won't hop off a bridge come lunch. But his spine doesn't like the weight of Danse nor being bent to accommodate his height. Tall asshole. Hancock just kinda...shoves him at the bed. Makes to sit down. Sitting down becomes laying down. Hancock accepts his fate. He didn't sleep last night anyway.

Later, Curie re-enters and finds Hancock underneath a cried-to-sleep brick shithouse of a man. She only barely manages to not smile.

Once Danse wakes up, Hancock has made note of three things: Danse is very cuddly and honestly, is a top-tier cuddle-buddy, warm as hell; Danse is very pliable when he's just woken up; he's accepted that maybe he and Danse aren't so different, and if Danse is as stubborn as Hancock, getting him to knock off the destructive shit will take bartering.

Danse is not an easy man to barter with, Hancock knows. And he'll catch on if Hancock starts at 50, and if 50 doesn't cut it. Hancock goes right to 100 and tells Danse he'll cut way back on chems if Danse starts taking care of himself again, or at least lets himself be taken care of.

If there's anything that can get Hancock to do something, it's vindication. Danse has always been iffy on Hancock's liberal chem use. Of course the idea of getting his way, of winning that little battle, would be too tempting. Danse takes the bait. Hancock resigns himself to chem use only on weekends and holidays, and takes some pride in having convinced the prickliest cactus to let himself be vulnerable.

Augustijn comes back a week later. No one sees either of them. But the next time Hancock does see Danse, he's put some pounds back on. The chemist says he's stopped coming in. Hancock siccs Piper and Codsworth on Danse's apartment to decorate it. Piper finds her birthday present. Danse spends two hours scrubbing her red lipstick off his face, complaining about the surprise being ruined the whole time.

Shit gets weird when the little synth kid shows up. Given everything with Shaun, and who Augustijn is, just as a person, that kid was always gonna be weird and messed up. Danse takes to him immediately. If the kid isn't with his dad (adopted dad?), he's with Danse, in the garage, at the river, down at the farms, walking Dogmeat. Hancock thinks its a good look on him, a kid on his shoulders, in his arms, holding his hand. Even more so when Danse gets back to his old weight. And then a little more. Then quite a bit more, especially in the chest and thighs. And then Danse starts smiling, gets laugh lines. Cait and Deacon make a drinking game out of swatting away the 'honeyflies' whenever they start surrounding. Something about a big, bulky man being fatherly to a skittish kid just drives people fucking wild. Danse develops a taste for ugly ass button ups, and not even his fashion sense scares them off.

Hancock takes him for beer, occasionally, through it all. Buys him dinner just to be sure he's eating. Watches how Danse changes bit by bit. He puts fat on in the legs before anything else, then the stomach, then the arms. His cheeks fill out quickly, too. He makes a lot more jokes than Hancock thought. They're just delivered so straight, you don't notice if you don't know to look for them. Once Hancock starts looking, they're everywhere. He wonders how many he's made that Hancock took as an earnest remark, and gave him crap for. He asks. Danse just grins, all shit-eating.

They go out for drinks. It starts as Hancock just wanting to check up on him. It turns into Hancock's favorite part of the week. He finds him fascinating. Danse is a history nerd, of course he is. He's wistful for simple pleasures, like live music, or fishing, or sports, if only for the fact that they're symbolic of peace. He has strong opinions on mirelurks. He actually isn't a virgin and admits that his first and only time was so his at-the-time squadmates would stop giving him shit for not having sex. He has reoccurring nightmares about his best friend, and he still misses the guy so much, he doesn't want the nightmares to stop because they're all he has left of him. He has it bad for Gus but he loves Theo so fucking much, he feels like the kid's Pops whether he gets with his dad or not. He's better with the synth thing, what really bothers him is how he acted and treated others, and how it took being one of them for him to see it was wrong.

Hancock finds him sweet, dorky, heartbreakingly sentimental, underneath all those scowls and grumbles.

He has to admit that he likes this guy.

What really sells him on Danse is how much he'll let you do, if you're close enough.

Hancock is touchy. Hancock is always cold. Danse is very warm and, having gained a lot more weight than he lost, very soft and comfy. Danse is touch-starved.

Danse becomes his travel mattress, portable chair, teddy bear, space heater, pillow, et cetera. Giant soft thing filled with fluff and warm. And Danse lets him. Danse lets Hancock play with his surprisingly soft hair, rub his shoulders, tuck under his chin, lay across his shoulders like a scarf...

It's a cosmic joke.

It's more of a cosmic joke than Danse being a synth. Hancock could have been using this fucker as a bed the whole goddamn time. He'd seen Danse be cool with ghouls before. Wiseman at the slog. That ghoul kid near Quincy. Kent. Even fucking Daisy, hell, Daisy liked Danse. The whole time, the whole fucking time, Hancock could have had a giant, warm, soft teddy bear. But no. But no. The teddy bear had to go through the the fucking wringer first.

He tells Danse as much. Danse laughs, loud and rosy-cheeked, in a flamingo print shirt, and says it fluffed him up.

#fallout 4 #fo4 #paladin danse #and hancock too but he doesnt have a tag so whawha #whomp whomp?? #anyway HERES THE CONTEXT FOR THE COFFEE #IVE MENTIONED NICK AND DANSE AND COFFEE SO MANY TIMES ON THIS BLOG. HERE IS THE CONTEXT FINALLY #YOU FUCKERS THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A RUNNING GAG #N #O #THE COFFEE WAS ALWAYS SIGNIFICANT MOTHER FUCKERS

[myaoiboy]

u got me reaaaal interested in Otacon x Kaz 👀👀👀

I've been meaning to write some of this out for a while so... (a bunch of brain-barf under the cut)

Okay it's worth saying i have like. 3 or 4 distinct versions of Kaz that stew in my brain with varying levels of canon/fanon/hc influence so just know that like. I'm fully aware of the level of delusion I'm on lmao

First off if you want some fic recs, this is maybe my favorite fic of all time (it currently ends on a cliffhanger fyi, if you're someone that doesn't like reading unfinished fics) https://archiveofourown.org/works/22810450/chapters/54512233

And this is another fic I like a lot, that kind of influenced my characterization of kaz https://archiveofourown.org/works/35337892/chapters/88074730

I feel like Kaz probably originally has some hostility towards Otacon because of Huey. He assumes that much like Snake share's Big Boss's positive traits, Otacon is likely to share some of Huey's traits. He starts out being kind of a dick, Snake probably has to be the one to tell him to tone it down because Otacon is *terrified* of him, absolutely scared to death.

I'm extremely split between accepting canon and being a firm "Kaz didn't die in Alaska" truther, and then split again on what he would do if he didn't die. I think that canon!kaz, if he were spared, would probably fuck off and never be seen again, least of all by Snake. But I think it's more fun if he realizes he holds a guilty conscience for using Snake to kill his ex, and ends up helping with Philanthropy, doing the cooking and bookkeeping for the three of them while Otacon hacks shit and Snake is the boots on the ground.

I think that if he's even capable of feeling guilty, he does at first, inserting himself into whatever they have going on. He's a grouchy old guy and it was already pretty shady to hook up with Snake while he was mentoring him, but now it's a whole different ball game. He knows on a basic human decency level that he should let them be young and together, but decency has never stopped him from doing anything before, so why should it now?

At first, it's just a continuation of his old thing with Snake, and Otacon avoids them both HARD. They hadn't talked about exclusivity (why bother when you're way out in the backcountry? and then always on the run?) so he doesn't figure he has the right to feel hurt.

Kaz definitely is a little smug, but less at Otacon's expense and more in a "still got it" kind of way, and that adds insult to injury. Otacon and Snake have a fight at some point while Kaz is out on a run or a grocery trip, both are kind of assholes, both are kind of right.

It's later while Otacon is tuning up Kaz's prosthetics (it's not like he gets support from the VA when "McDonnel Benedict" Miller is, you know, very much supposed to be dead, so that's Otacon's job now) that they're alone for any substantial length of time. Otacon is, understandably, kind of pissed with him, but never going to say that unprompted, but there's a tension you could cut with a knife. He does intentionally fuck up sensation calibration just once, and it hurts Kaz just a little. Makes him feel just a little better about the whole situation.

Kaz is the first one to speak up and apologizes (poorly, because my man is nothing if not kind of awful at considering other people over his own hedonism) for getting between snake and otacon. He probably also mentions how much Otacon reminds him of Strangelove, in hopes of smoothing things over somewhat. There's probably a weepy conversation about her.

Because the process requires quite a bit of contact (some may say manhandling) Otacon definitely starts to get what Snake sees in Kaz. A touch lingers a little too long while he's re-fitting his arm, or he leaves a hand too long on Kaz's thigh, or he just plain doesn't realize how close his face has gotten to Kaz's, and the next thing he knows he's kissing that old man.

It's pretty chaste between them at that moment but definitely within the next few days they're all three sharing the same bed.

NOBODY has talked with Snake about any of this, and while there's some nagging thought in the back of his mind that it's funny how fast Otacon's opinions of Kaz have flipped, he's mostly just glad they're getting along. Though he IS a bit miffed when he doesn't get to be the middle, I feel.

Weird side note I feel like Otacon deserves Kaz to be a soft dom with a lot of praise. Not sure how in-character I could make that though.

I kind of wonder how much he would be into Hal as his own person as opposed to a way to get back at huey, much like how I think a lot about how much he likes snake as snake vs as BB's son. Or alternately as BB/Ocelot's weird memetic-brother, bc we know he knows about that.

So yeah that's me rambling headcanons about otakaz/otasoilimiller for probably way too long lmaoooo

#otacon #kaz #otakaz #??? #also otasolimiller #mgs #headcanons #technically solimiller but mostly background #the thing to know about me is that i ship every mgs character with every other mgs character #they all fuck and they're all toxic