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astonmartinii · 7 months

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An Oscar piastri request because I have severe brain rot. Oscar Piastri x black American!reader. Like they met through Logan and Oscar is just downright obsessed with his girlfriend and everything she does. No pressure I just really enjoy the way you write.

southern charm | oscar piastri social media au

pairing: oscar piastri x fem american!reader

once upon a time, in the magical land of the 305, one man would take the mantle of the ultimate wingman

yourusername

liked by logansargeant, arthurleclerc and 21,983 others

tagged: oscarpiastri

yourusername: pov you're my phone when i'm watching oscar piastri tiktok edits

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user1: babe those edits are doing over time

yourusername: i don't like your tone. oscar is the sexiest man ever, end of.

user2: if your gf isn't arguing with randoms online over you, is she really your gf?

user3: she doesn't hold back when it comes to oscar, that's my GOAT

oscarpiastri: can you stop sending them to me i don't like being perceived.

yourusername: too bad because i want to perceive you

logansargeant: i'd argue she wants to perceive you too much

yourusername: only because you have no one to perceive you

logansargeant: you can't call me lonely when i got you your boyfriend

yourusername: 👋 👀 hey look it's the main contributor to the male loneliness statistics 👀 👋

oscarpiastri: y/n that's mean...

yourusername: but not wrong 😑

user4: i know they're joking but y/n does not hold back

yourusername: had to prepare him for the mean f1 bitches

landonorris: so this is the mysterious gf...

yourusername: watch your step at COTA, oscar may obey team orders but i DONT

landonorris: oscar???

oscarpiastri: i'm sorry y/n can FACTUALLY do no wrong so you're on your own here mate

yourusername: thank you baby. oscar supports women's rights and wrongs he is a hashtag ally

oscarpiastri

liked by logansargeant, yourusername and 621,983 others

tagged: yourusername

oscarpiastri: getting daily outfit updates from the love of your life >>>

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user5: oh this has to be one of the healthiest celebrity relationships ever

yourusername: omg mom i'm a celebrity

user6: hi can we please get the skincare routine?

yourusername: thank you for picking the ones where i look good baby x

oscarpiastri: you look good, GREAT IN FACT, in every photo ever - every waking moment

yourusername: you're too cute osc x

logansargeant: so you get this and i just get venmo requests?

yourusername: don't hate the player, hate the game

logansargeant: what game are we playing it's just venmo requests for coffee because "i'm a girl i deserve it"

oscarpiastri: idk that sounds logical to me

logansargeant: wait does she not do this to you?

oscarpiastri: no? also just know we split the money so thank you for all of my morning coffees for the last two years logan x

logansargeant: i regret ever introducing you two

user6: obsessed with this nightmare trio

alexalbon: can confirm they are a nightmare

oscarpiastri: don't call us a nightmare on my gf appreciation post

lilymunhe: yeah alex, where's mine?

alexalbon: any trio that breaks my motorhome from getting to competitive during just dance can be categorised as a nightmare - hope this helps x

yourusername: is it because we didn't invite you?

alexalbon: it was literally MY motorhome?

oscarpiastri: we beat our best score on rasputin so sorry not sorry

user7: idk how people can say oscar has no personality when he literally would throw hands for y/n?

yourusername

liked by alexalbon, oscarpiastri and 24,871 others

yourusername: practising my smize for the COTA paddock can't allow oscar to be the only one to slay in austin

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user10: any spare paddock passes miss?

logansargeant: so i'm not allowed to slay?

yourusername: i think you need to save up all of your slaying for the track to get that point on the board

logansargeant: Y/N ????? i'm trying :(

yourusername: sorry logie bear that was a low blow from me, i'm proud of you

oscarpiastri: talented. brilliant. incredible. amazing. showstopping. spectacular. never the same. totally unique. completely not ever been done before.

yourusername: did you just quote lady gaga?

oscarpiastri: yeah, got a problem with that?

yourusername: nope. you're my favourite little monster

landonorris: i thought this was a healthy relationship - don't call my teammate a monster 😤

yourusername: that's what lady gaga fans are called lando, i've called him much worse, bring ear plugs to cota ;)

oscarpiastri: WAIT NO MY PR TEAM SAID NO MORE SEXY TIMES ON PUBLIC PLATFORMS

yourusername: boring ...

user11: so excited for the best f1 wag to be back in the paddock

yourusername: appreciate it but i can't take the crown from real icon lily

lilymunhe: omg thanks y/n i can't wait to meet you !!

alexalbon: are you always as insane as logan says

yourusername: he's probably not wrong but i prefer the term charming

oscarpiastri: we're just very passionate about things

alexalbon: like just dance?

yourusername: no comment.

mclaren

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tagged: yourusername, oscarpiastri

mclaren: get someone who looks at you the way oscar and y/n look at each other

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user14: i came here to watch formula 1 not to feel LONELY

user15: okay who was going to tell me oscar had such a hot girlfriend?

logansargeant: trust me literally spend more than 30 seconds with him and you'll know

oscarpiastri: okay but y/n is the prettiest person in the world AND the smartest, funniest and kindest person ever so you WILL listen and appreciate her

yourusername: god i love you so much

user16: is she an aussie too?

yourusername: nope i pulled oscar with pure american southern charm

oscarpiastri: it's true she lassoed me like a cowboy and it was love at first sight

yourusername: let me clarify we were at a wild wild west party but it was defo love at first lasso

landonorris: get someone who looks at you the way i look at the MCL60 😍

user17: lando is one of us

landonorris: i feel lonelier now, around oscar and y/n, than i did right when i was broken up with

yourusername: easy to look like that when your boyfriend is a dashing, charming and humble gentleman + generational talent

oscarpiastri: hehehehe stop you're making me blush

logansargeant: you guys are so gross

yourusername: says the man that's literally an accredited wing man because YOU got us together

yourusername

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tagged: oscarpiastri

yourusername: that moment when you see the love of your life achieve his dreams !!!!!!!!!! NO FR oscar i am so so unbelievably proud of you, you deserve this so much. i love you, thank you for letting me be a part of your life x

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user21: they're my parents now they have no say in it

user22: consider me charmed

oscarpiastri: thank you so much my love, your support is everything to me and i can't wait to grow old with you

yourusername: my heart is yours now and forever ❤️

oscarpiastri: also i'm finding some way to frame you celebrating in my garage

yourusername: i couldn't contain my excitement, sorry to the mechanic who literally got tinnitus from me screaming lol

user23: her in the garage is real f1 fan representation

logansargeant: as much shit as i give you guys, you're so cute and i'm so glad you guys have each other

yourusername: thank you logan!! i forever owe you one for introducing us

oscarpiastri: i promise when you get into a relationship i won't once complain about it

landonorris: i was a cynic, but yeah you guys are very cute - i am endeared

yourusername: oscar tends to have that effect

oscarpiastri: ummmmm i think it's more you

landonorris: okay i said you guys are cute you don't need to prove it again

oscarpiastri

liked by logansargeant, yourusername and 1,239,084 others

tagged: yourusername

oscarpiastri: the best weekend ever and wishing i could just take you everywhere with me, until las vegas my love x

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yourusername: take me with you

yourusername: who cares about life responsibilities when i'm with you

yourusername: i'd say i'm a good luck charm but you're too talented to need one

oscarpiastri: i love you so much i miss you already

landonorris: you said goodbye five minutes ago... we've not even got to departures yet

oscarpiastri: is it illegal to miss the love of your life?

landonorris: when i'm not in a relationship? YES.

user24: the way oscar was horrified at arthur's 18 hour screentime, i bet his is just as bad now

oscarpiastri: no comment

yourusername: it's 16 hours lol

arthurleclerc: where is my justice? my apology?

oscarpiastri: we fall asleep on face time. i'm not chronically online i'm just terminally in love with my girlfriend

arthurleclerc: trust me we know

logansargeant: the way i know he's about to fly because @yourusername texts me - always the second choice :(

yourusername: oof i guess i'll nap instead

logansargeant: no i can still beat ur ass on 8 ball pool

oscarpiastri: you can't out do the doer soz bud

yourusername: i miss you come back, bullying logan was so much better together in person

note: i hope this was what you were hoping for! i love oscar so i'm always happy to write for him and i love a good comment squabble! thanks for requesting x

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 x you #f1 #oscar piastri #oscar piastri instagram au #oscar piastri x you #oscar piastri imagine

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half-oz-eddie · 4 months

Text

After sharing a spontaneous kiss at a party, Billy made it his mission to never see Steve Harrington again. He even resorted to anti-stalking that pretty, plump lipped, soft hair, gorgeous, chocolatey eyed—anyway...did everything he could to stay away from him.

Billy knew what time Steve went to work, and what hours he worked. He knew the places he liked to frequent, all so he could avoid him at any cost.

He even went out of his way to make sure they weren't even on the road at the same time.

But it was a small town, so even when Billy thought he'd successfully avoided Steve, Steve spotted those blonde curls through the window of his Camaro a time or 2. Steve would deflate every time he saw Billy, because he knew Billy wasn't even trying to notice his existence.

Yet, time stood still for Steve. Every so often he'd feel his heart race and the lingering, tingling feeling of Billy's lips against his—soft, yet aggressive, hungry, but savoring. He wanted it back. He wanted it again. But Billy only wanted to forget about him and that kiss.

And just as time stood still for Steve, it still moved. Months, and months, and months had gone by. The season had changed and it was getting colder by the day.

Billy was the first thing on Steve's mind every morning when he woke up, until finally, he became the second. He slowly became a passing thought and Steve was finally finding some peace.

Until one snowy night, when Billy shows up on his doorstep with a beer and a black eye, slurring his words and incomprehensibly begging Steve to let him in.

Steve, against his better judgement, let Billy's drunk ass stumble into his house and offered him some coffee to sober him up, which he accepted with a nonchalant shrug.

Steve casually offered Billy some ice for the shiner, which he also accepted with a shrug.

"You get into a bar fight or something?" Steve finally asked.

"If by bar you mean my house...and fight you mean dad punched me, then yeah. I got into a bar fight." He mumbled in response.

"Why did he hit you?" Steve questioned.

"Eh...I dunno what set 'em off this time." Billy waved his hand. "Don't care. C'n I go piss?"

Steve nodded, pointing to the bathroom down the hall.

Billy waddled his way to the bathroom, slamming the door.

Steve let out a heavy sigh and decided to make himself a cup of coffee too. Just when he was finally trying to get Billy off his mind, he shows up at his house.

But now wasn't the time for that. The poor guy obviously needed some assistance and a safe place to sober up.

When he returned from the bathroom, he tried to finish the cup of coffee, hardly able to stomach it.

"You...need a place to crash?"

"Can I? Your couch's much better than home."

"You don't—I mean...there's...a bed. You can...sleep in my bed. I—I'll take the couch." Steve stammered on, hating himself for flubbing his words like an idiot.

"Nah." Billy shook his head. "I'll take the couch, Harrington."

"I insist. If you fall off the couch you'll get hurt. You're too drunk—"

"I've been drunk before, asshole. I'm not a dummy."

"I know, I just..." Steve let out an elongated sigh. He was so hung up on that kiss, he forgot how much of a meathead Hargrove was.

"m'I botherin' you?" Billy questioned. "I can just go sleep in my car."

"No. It's not that you're bothering me. It's...why have you been avoiding me?"

"What?" Billy narrowed his eyes.

"I know you've been trying to avoid me. I haven't seen you since the night we..."

"We what?"

"Oh." The realization settled in. "Oh. You...were drunk and you don't remember."

"I remember, Steve. But I want you to say it." Billy leaned across the counter, smugly smizing at Steve. "What's been renting space in your mind all this time?"

"The—when we kissed at the party. You kissed me and then I never saw you again!"

"I d’no what I was thinking. We don’t even get along. But beer pong was fun, trash talkin’ and pushin’ you around was fun. I guess—I like guys like you.”

“Guys like me?”

“Y’know.” Billy chuckled. “Pretty. Kinda dumb. Competitive.”

“I’m not dumb!” Steve raised his voice indignantly.

“Y’let me kiss you. So yeah, you’re fucking dumb.” Billy smirked.

“I’m not! I just—maybe I like guys like you too.”

Billy moseyed around the counter and stood in front of Steve, yanking him in by his collar and kissing him like they were continuing where they left off.

Steve melted into the kiss immediately, remembering every sound and even how the light felt on his face at the party, when his eyes fluttered closed as tongues gently touched.

Suddenly, Steve pushed Billy away. “Don’t kiss me like that if you’re just gonna run away again.” He met him with pained eyes.

“I’m not gonna run away again. If anything, you’re probably the only person I can run to.” Billy admitted, his voice quiet and nervous.

Steve palmed Billy’s cheek, the digits of his finger ghosting his swollen eye. “You’ll always be safe with me. I promise.”

Their lips met once more, and Billy’s hands made their way to Steve’s hips.

“Sleep next to me.” Steve offered, his lips still pressed to Billy.

“I can’t.” Billy mumbled in response.

“Why?”

“Because I won’t be able to keep my hands off you.”

They chuckled against each other’s lips.

“That’s fine. I don’t care. As long as you’ll still be here in the morning.”

“I’ll never run from you again.” Billy promised.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Steve worriedly asked.

“Wasn’t the first, won’t be the last.” He solemn expression changed as he smiled. “Just like that kiss.”

“Glad to hear it. I haven’t kissed anyone since.”

“You haven’t?”

Steve shook his head. “I only wanted you all these months. I couldn’t get you out of my head.”

“I haven’t kissed anyone else either.” Billy looked downward. “I guess I pussied out.”

“Emotions are confusing. And kinda scary. But we’ll figure it out together, yeah?”

Billy nodded, stumbling behind Steve as he led him upstairs to his bedroom to make up for lost time.

#idk just felt like writing something #guys like you #harringrove #steve harrington #billy hargrove #harringrove fanfiction #ivy.doc

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mirandasidefics · 3 months

Text

But Home is Nowhere-Part 3

Lucien X Plus Size! Reader, Azriel X Plus Size! Reader.

Summary: Nesta confronts Rhysand and Azriel pays a visit to the Moonstone Palace.

A/N: Hopefully the characters aren't too OOC for this one. I'm sorry this chapter is so short! Work got a bit busy so free time for writing was reduced. But I still wanted to keep my schedule of every other week. Just means there will be more chapters in the long run. This is Azriel's POV. The story will mainly be from Reader, Lucien, and Azriel's POV moving forward.

Warnings: Talk of nightmares, mentions of blood and violence.

Part 2

Azriel swiftly made his way to Rhysand’s office in the House of Wind for a debriefing with Cassian, Nesta, and Bryce after their return to Prythian. The group had been successful in their rescue efforts and the trio returned with Bryce’s mate and brother in tow. His shadows had told him that the two new arrivals had been beaten and bloody with healers rushing to the northern residential wing of the Moonstone Palace. He knew he should have accompanied them on their trip, especially after hearing of their losses of at least two spies as the group made their way out. If he had gone with them then he certainly wouldn’t have been forced to subject you to – He stopped short at the scene before him, at the absolute fury that radiated off the eldest Archeron sister. His shadows and siphons immediately responded to the small thrum of power emanating off of her. He smized he finally had his answer regarding the amount of power the cauldron determined she was worthy to keep after helping Feyre deliver Nyx. Nesta stood before his brother’s desk, her hands balled into fists at her sides, chest heaving. Rhysand sat in his high back chair, elbows resting against the dark wood of the desk. Only the swirling rage in his eyes giving any indication of his emotions. A large stack of books laid sprawled on the floor. Loose papers fluttered their way back down. A well of black ink had been topped over, its contents staining the already dark mahogany and the High Lord’s face. Bryce sat in one of the chairs opposite the desk, picking at her nails. Her eyes darting between the fighting in-laws.

“I don’t know what more you want me to say Nesta,” Rhys rubbed the bridge of his nose, “I have apologized to the woman and have provided for her. Lucien is keeping her company and assisting her in finding a way back to her home, but she will remain in the eastern wing for the time being.” Fuck. So, he hadn’t removed the letter Lucien left in the House before either Nesta or Cassian read it. Not that Azriel wanted to hide (Y/N)’s existence from the pair, he just wanted to explain that he agreed with the male. The human girl was of no threat, despite her highly unexpected and unsettling arrival. Given Nesta’s current disposition it appeared that she had already gone to the Moonstone Palace as Lucien requested.

“You have her sealed inside the place just like that Spring Court bastard did to Feyre,” Nesta spat, the information hitting Azriel square in the chest. The image of (Y/N)’s terror filled (e/c) eyes flashed through his mind. Had his word not been enough to convince his brother of her innocence? Yes, she was no longer swathed in the darkness, the darkness that he was solely responsible for, but to still be a prisoner… He hadn’t wanted that for her. He wanted her to feel safe. She deserved at least that much, if not more. Azriel’s attention snapped back to the conversation before him.

“She’s just a girl Rhys,” Cassian spoke up from his position between his mate and the desk. “Nes and I spent the whole day with her. She-”

“You have dedicated an entire part of your court to the protection of traumatized females,” Nesta snarled, “You have created laws to ensure those that cause harm to innocents pay for their actions. Yet you violate everything that you’ve built by having her tortured and locked away for the past month! What does she have to do to convince you that she is not a threat?” Rhysand let out a breath, despite his efforts to exude a sense of calm, it was clear that the male was exhausted.

“I honestly don’t know at this point,” The admission was one that Azriel didn’t expect, “But my decision stands.” Nesta clicked her tongue, arms crossing as she finally removed her gaze from the High Lord.

“I will not be keeping this from my sister,” Nesta seethed. Her steel infused eyes landed on Azriel and he tried not balk from the fury now directed at him. Her gait was steady as she approached, arms crossing over her chest. Despite him being a good 5 inches taller than her, Nesta managed to look down her nose at him.

“Not keep what from me?” The entire room went still as Feyre stood in the doorway, arms crossed over her chest and brows furrowed in annoyance. Her stance mirrored her sister’s, highlighting their similarities all the more. Azriel shifted in spot next to the door, glancing at his brother who slow stood up from his desk. The tension in the air thickened as Feyre looked to each individual in the room.

“What are you keeping from me now Rhysand?” Her glare at her mate would have had any other male cowering. This was perhaps the most frightening Feyre had ever appeared to Azriel outside of that battle field nearly 3 years ago.

“We will discuss the events in Midgard later. If you all will excuse us,” Rhysand swallowed, “I have something to discuss with my High Lady.”

*********************************************************************

Azriel struggled to keep his shadows in check as they buzzed around the closed doors that did little to muffle the shouting match between the rulers of the Night Court. While the group had been dismissed, Azriel still had questions for his brother. He supposed those questions would have to wait, provided the Night Court still had a High Lord in the morning. He was grateful for the distraction when Bryce asked him to return her to the Moonstone Palace to be with her mate. It also gave him a reason to check in on (Y/N). Something he hadn’t been able to do since the day he and Lucien walked her out of the catacombs. He knew that keeping his distance would be best for her, but he couldn’t help the worry that invaded him on a nightly basis. That week had not been kind to either of them. It had been a long time since he experienced nightmares as a result of his…duties as spymaster. A long time since the tang of a person’s fear embedded itself in his memory. Maybe actually seeing her in a new setting would help ease his conscious.

He winnowed Bryce directly into the suite that had been set up for her and her family. A fire roared in the large black onyx hearth of the large sitting area. The set of doors to each of the two bedrooms were wide open, allowing the healers to run back and forth between them. It appeared they were in the process of packing up their things, when one approached him.

“Both males are asleep,” the elder female whispered, “The mate is in that room. He’ll need the most care for the next few weeks as his wings begin to grow back. The other might need to have healers from the Dawn Court take a better look at him, the High Lord too. There’s a heavy barrier around his mind.” He nodded and relayed the message to Bryce.

“Thank you,” The red-head squeezed his shoulder before dipping into the room on the left. Azriel awkwardly stood in the hallow space. Now that he was here, he didn’t know what to do with himself. He had never spent any significant amount of time in the Moonstone Palace and the morning was a long way off. He had a general idea of where the unoccupied spare rooms were, but he wasn’t tired. He debated on making his way to the gardens when a wailing scream ripped through the halls. The sound caused Azriel’s heart to drop. The elder healer scurried over to the doorway of the room on the right, calling out to whomever was inside.

“Wren, the tonic, is it ready for her?” Her. (Y/N) had made that sound. Nausea whirled in his stomach. A young male appeared in the doorway with two medium sized cups in his hands.

“I’ll take it,” Azriel’s shaky voice passed over his lips before he could stop himself.

“Its for the human girl,” Wren gathered a funnel and metal flask from a corner table in the main sitting room. Slowly he poured the contents of each cup into a metal flask. “The male that’s with her says she suffers from nightmares. He asked us to mix this for her. It’s a concentrated brew, so it must be diluted with water or tea, preferably a sweetened tea as its quite bitter. No more than an ounce before bed.” The male grabbed a second smaller cup and placed it into Azriel’s covered hands. He nodded in understanding, his shadows already racing to find her. Another scream echoed, the terror laced within latching onto his bones. He had caused these nightmares. He knew he would never be able to atone for the trauma that she would now carry with her. Something in his chest snagged as yet another cry ricocheted through the palace. His shadows returned and swirled, urging him out of the room. A male groan came from the room Wren had exited and he quick scurried back inside.

“Hurry, before her screams wake them,” Azriel’s lips curled into a snarl at the insensitive remark as he was ushered out of the room. “They all deserve some rest Shadowsinger.” The female healer amended, the entrance door to the suite clicking shut behind him. He made his way as quickly as he could to her room. His shadows frantic as muffled sobs could be heard bouncing off the stone walls of the eastern wing. He didn’t even bother to knock on the door before entering the bedroom. His breath caught in his throat as he took in the sight.

The bed was disheveled, the cream duvet pushed to the ground alongside several throw pillows in various shades of blue. Lucien was sat in the center of the bed, (Y/N) cradled in his lap. Azriel watched on as Lucien rocked her back and forth, shushing her and rubbing her bare back. The green top, clearly torn and discarded on the floor, was stained dark with sweat and…blood. Sobs and muffled apologies tumbled from her lips and into the golden skin of Lucien’s neck. Her hair, slickened with tears, plastered itself to her forehead. Her trembling hands held a vice like grip, her knuckles white from the force of her hold on him. The tips of her fingernails were stained red. Azriel’s eyes roamed over her for any signs of injuries. He wasn’t able to assess her front as she pressed against the male comforting her. It took him second to realize that the Autumn male’s shirt was also missing, and something ugly curled its way through Azriel’s thoughts. That was until he saw the upturned couch, and what was clearly spare blankets and pillows pinned underneath. Likely overturned in Lucien’s haste to get to (Y/N). It took him another second to realize that the room was sweltering. Every light in the room was on and the fire in the fireplace was twice the size it should have been, leaving no space for his shadows.

“Are you just going to lurk there?” The female started at Lucien’s words, letting out a whimper and he immediately consoled her. The male’s russet eye landed on Azriel, who cautiously approached the bed. Before he could get too close, the red-head held up his hand in warning. Close enough.

“(Y/N),” Lucien whispered against her cheek, the action far too intimate for Azriel’s liking, “I asked the healers to make you another sleeping draft. Go draw yourself a bath, and I’ll get the tonic and bed prepared for you.” He brushed her hair out of her eyes as she pulled back slightly. She nodded in understanding, and her grip on him lessened. Azriel felt like an intruder as he watched her separate herself from Lucien, catching sight of the outline of her full breast underneath her arm before she fully faced away from him. The woman seemed to become aware of her bare chest and reached for a pillow to cover herself with. Azriel noted that Lucien’s eyes never strayed down wards and remained fixed on the headboard behind her. A better male that he was. Once she was out of the sight, Lucien rose from the bed and approached Azriel.

“How is she?” Azriel blurted. He wasn’t a fool. He could clearly see she wasn’t doing well, but the question fell from him nonetheless. He continued to stare at the spot she previously occupied on the bed. Lucien studied him, the golden eye whirring and zeroing in on whatever information he was trying to read in Azriel’s expression. The spymaster’s training set in and his features hardened. The emissary did the same. His shadows spluttered at the doorway as he took a step into the room.

“How is-”

“I heard you,” Lucien let out a heavy breath and carded his lean fingers along his scalp. “You want to know the extent of your handiwork? This is what I have come to know of her through my comforting her every night since arriving here. I have become more familiar with the sound of her screams than her laugh. I smell the fear that leeches out of her every pore. So potent and thick that even my own instincts have me searching the room to make sure there is no one here to harm her. Her body thrashes violently-desperately-to break the grip the nightmares have on her own mind. There are bruises on her ankles that won’t heal because she kicks against the bed posts everything night.” Azriel felt the color slowly drain from his face.

“She doesn’t always wake from the nightmares right away either. Tonight, was one of those nights. She was crying, pleading and begging whatever was haunting her to stop. She was clawing on her own throat and chest trying to pry what I can only assume were memories of your shadows away. You ask how she is doing? She is not well, and she is terrified of you Azriel.” A flame burned within his red iris despite the calm manner in which he spoke, and Azriel felt his body recoil in shame. He didn’t want to know any more. He knew this was his fault and didn’t need to be reminded.

“You want to help her?” Azriel nodded simply, not daring to speak after hearing Lucien’s tone laced with a bitterness he hadn’t heard in years. “She needs and deserves to be let out of here. Allowed to live far enough away from the Hewn City to know that she won’t be sent back down to that cell. But for now, she needs a dreamless sleep.” The Autumn male approached him slowly, his hand held out expectantly. Azriel handed over the flask and small cup.

“Mix an ounce of this with tea or water,” His own voice was barely above a whisper as Lucien continued to hold his stare. Shame and guilt clung to him. Without another word, Azriel turned on his heel and left the room, unable to bare witness to your suffering any longer.

Part 4

Tag list: @jenniferpendragon @impossibelle @sweet-chai-amore @myheartfollower @iimichie @fightmedraco @nikkitc0703 @eerievixen @ang-taylorsversion @randomness-it-is

#acotar x reader #azriel x reader #lucien x reader #plus size reader #BHINfic #lucien vanserra x reader #lucien vanserra x plus size reader #azriel x plus size reader

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b4mpyre-k1zz3s · 8 months

Text

Red Carpet Dreams

Y/N gets caught up in the chaos that is the premier for Jackass Number Two.

Johnny Knoxville X Gn!Reader

(Fluff)

2.9k Words

Warnings: Very suggestive content, crude language, drug use, alcohol, prostitutes, near drowning, partying (it’s Jackass), fake relationship, flirting, paparazzi

An: Aaaaaa!! I had so much fun with this one!! For all who sent in asks- thank you!! I’ve been writing a lot more recently and I’m working on more requests at the moment so look forward to them!! :)

“Hi! My name’s Katie Cordoba, and I’m here at the premiere of the new feature film, Jackass Number Two!” The red lipped, smizing news lady chattered into the camera, obviously feigning excitement. You rolled your eyes at the charade- four years ago, those Hollywood bigwigs would’ve turned up their noses at those guys, but now they’re all over it, as Johnny would put it to you, like flies on shit.

You blended in pretty well with the rest of the crowd, all eagerly looking around, waiting for the big Hollywood movie stars to make their appearances. It made you wonder what normal premieres were like, with everyone fully dressed, mostly sober, and generally law abiding. But just as you were mulling it over, the first guest was arriving.

As the car door popped open, Steve practically fell out, however the beer in his hand was miraculously unscathed as he tumbled to the cement, as was the cigarette hanging from his teeth. Getting to his feet, he didn’t even bother to pull up his pants that were now sitting about six inches below the waistband of his gray tartan Hanses. His skinny, shirtless body was bathed in a flurry of camera flashes, stroking his already swollen ego.

Following behind him, and catching you off guard, came a woman you had never seen before. Of course, people went wild over this, shoving microphones in his face from all angles. “Steve-O!! Steve-O, who is this dashing young woman you’re with?” The lady from before muscled past you, shoulder pads and all. “Well,” Steve wrapped an arm around her cockily, slurring his words, “this here is my girl, Trixie!” She giggled. The reporter lady probed more, “Oh, you two are just adorable!! How did you two meet?”

“I saw her on a street corner a few blocks from here!” He seemed to catch the reporter off guard, something stilling behind her eyes. Leave it to Steve to bring a prostitute to a movie premiere. You could hear her start to say something then stop. “Well, I, uh- I hope you two have a nice evening.” Steve grinned, taking a drag, “Oh, you know we will!” And there he went down the red carpet, giving her a firm slap on the ass.

Following behind him with that goofy smile was Chris, boasting one lady on each arm. To all your scrutinizing, they seemed perfectly normal, not paid by the hour women. He stood for a moment in his slacks and suit jacket, posing for paparazzi photos, beaming. He whispered something to one of the girls that made her eyes go wide before unbuttoning the jacket, taking it off and throwing it over his shoulder…and exposing his lack of a shirt. Of course, you weren't complaining, and judging by the excited roar that swept through the crowd, neither was anybody else. Turning to follow after Steve, he put an arm around each, “Let’s rock n roll, girls! Yeah!”

Another car pulled up, and Ryan walked out, cool as always behind those sunglasses. He didn’t even bother to dress himself up, wearing the same clothes he passed out in last night when you had to drag him back to the hotel from the bar. “Ah! Ryan! Tell us about the new movie!” Another interviewer held a boom mic out to him, a camera guy over his shoulder with one of those CRTV sized pieces that probably cost a year of your salary. He shot a look over you as he leaned against the metal rail nonchalantly. “I mean, this one- we decided to kinda take it in another direction. It's a sexual thriller, yeah. Oh, and while filming it, Knoxville died- horrible accident. He actually-“

Blindsiding him, Bam hurled a handful of flour at him, the cloud covering not just Ryan but anybody within a 3 foot radius, including the interviewer and, by extension, you. After accidentally inhaling some, you nearly hacked up a lung, the flour sticking to the inside of your throat like paste. Through the dense white cloud, you could barely make out Bam tackling Ryan to the ground, tumbling with him for a moment. As the dust cleared, Bam threw up the horns at one of the big cameras pointed in his face, yanking Ryan to his feet. As the two hauled ass down the carpet, leaving as soon as they arrived, Bam leaned down to pick up his board, which you didn’t even notice that he rode in on.

It had been about half an hour since the event had officially started, and your little starlet still hadn’t arrived. He was fashionably late, as usual- Knoxville didn’t do anything fast- the closest he got was doing speed. Bam would tell the media that Johnny wasn’t there because he punched the intern that got his Jamba Juice order wrong and they were bandaging his sore little knuckles, but it usually was from traffic. That seemed to be the case once again.

But when that shiny black limo pulled up, and Johnny stepped out with those glinting Crest teeth and his sharp Hollywood three piece suit, you almost forgot that he was the same man that you saw a month prior farting on Jeff with baby powder in his crack. Of course, everyone went wild at his mere presence, earning an appreciative chuckle from him as the crowd buzzed like a hive of bees. You smiled, not even caring that you were blinded by camera flashes that flanked you.

All of a sudden, you felt a hand grab your arm and pull. It took you a few panicked seconds for you to realize that you were on the carpet. Moreso, it took the warmth that was pressed against your back to murmur close to your ear for you to really get what was going on. “Just be cool, Y/N.”

Johnny’s head whipped back up, smirking back at the cameras while guiding you with his hand around your waist like nothing was out of the ordinary. You stared like a deer in headlights with a dumb smile on your face, finally understanding what it looked like from the other side of the barricade. And, of course, he just had to walk you over to that reporter lady, waving around her microphone like an idiot. “Johnny! Johnny- over here!” She feigned a smile, hiding exasperation, “We’ve seen so many, uh- lovely couples tonight, so I am just dying to know who you’ve got here!”

“Well this here is Y/N.” He pulled you closer, his hand grasping you near his torso again as he leaned down to the mic, his chin resting on your shoulder, “And they are allll mine, so don’t you fellas be ‘gettin any ideas!” He pointed to the cameras like he was addressing the viewers at home. You blushed, giggling at his joke that he obviously made to get you to loosen up. The lady beamed, convinced at your charade. “Wow! How long have you two been together?” Unable to come up with an idea, you leaned into Johnny, “You know, I actually think the movie’s starting soon! So we really have to go- sorry!” The lady nodded, saying something to the camera crew as you hustled through the doors. “You did so good there!” He excitedly patted you on the back as you got into the theater. “I had no idea what I was doing!”

“Hi! I'm Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to the premier of Jackass Number Two!” The packed theater cheered as Johnny spoke at the lectern, looking more like an actual movie star under the lights of the stage than he usually did in his dickies and t-shirts, the light glinting off of his glasses as he continued, “But…I would be remiss not to introduce the fine men that risked their lives- and livers- to make this film possible. Let’s bring ‘em out, boys!”

Like the most demented parade ever, they did. Starting with Steve, who came in walking on a pair of aluminum stilts. Though you knew he knew how to use him, he made a big show of looking like he was losing his balance, teetering for a moment before tipping stern first, landing flat on his face with a clatter and an, “Ah, fuck!” Snickering, Johnny feigned concern, turning to him, “Hey, you alright, Steve- O?” He laid there really still in the fetal position for a moment, the crowd holding with baited breath, before he gave a stiff nod.

In the midst of the horde cheering, you could hear music from somewhere in the theater. You, and maybe half the people in attendance , knew exactly what that meant. And while Steve was still there on the ground, groaning and fiddling with the leather straps of the stilts, in from stage right comes Mr. Party Boy himself. “Sounds like someone called for a party!” From your seat in the front row, you were actually close enough to catch the pair of tear away pants Pontius discarded as he stripped down to his silver mankini, dancing onstage. Giggling, you sat back in your seat, watching everything play out in front of you.

Oh, and did it play out. As the finale for the grand display, an orange blur flew in from one side of the stage- Dunn’s motorcycle. You were a little scared, having no idea how it got up there, but all you could do was stare However, it took him hitting the brakes hard, leaving an inky black skid mark on the wood, for you to notice Bam, who was getting pulled behind like he was water skiing on his skateboard.

He landed, sprawled on the laps of 3 different people in the front row, his board disappearing completely backstage. After the initial groan from the impact, he burst into laughter. He was about a seat or two away from you as he rolled off of the people, leaving them to sputter and straighten their suits and fancy dresses, muttering about how he dressed or what a roughian he was. “Dude!” He scrambled to his feet, grabbing your arm and yanking you up.

Before you knew it, you were up onstage, staring back at the packed theater. Goddamn it, it happened again. Johnny looked confused at what Bam did before he caught on, cackling. “Oh! Last, but not certainly least, Bam reminded me that we would all like to thank our very lovely manager, Y/N, for gettin’ us off our sorry asses so we could be here tonight!” Johnny pulled you in, his muscular arm firmly around your shoulders as the crowd roared in applause. You stared at the sight in front of you unbelievingly, wide eyed. Johnny chuckled. “Alright, let’s get this thing started!

And the premiere went great!! The audience loved the film from the title screen to when the credits rolled. When the theater wasn't nearly vibrating from laughs, it was full of gasps and cringing at some of the more painful moments. Hell, you heard a good handful of the vomit bags the red velvet clad ushers handed out at the door were filled by the end, which brought you a strange sense of pride.

The trouble came, however, with the after-party.

“Come oooon, Y/N!” Steve hung onto you as you two sat on the couch, his arm thrown over your shoulders. He was like a round vase, wobbling around even though he was sitting. “It's not that bad…Knoxville does this shit! Maybe if you tried some, you could get that damn stick outta your ass.” He looked up at you with pupils that eclipsed his irises, making him look eerie in the multicolor club lights. You rolled your eyes. “No way!” He looked at you adoringly, “He does, I swear.” Misinterpreting you, he giggled, “Hey- Hey. Have I ever told you that I love you?” Scoffing, you rolled your eyes, peeling his arm off of you. “Yeah, right. You’re just high.” He had a sort of feigned earnestness as he rambled, hushed and surprisingly coherent. “First of all- its MDMA. Second of all- I really do, baby! You’re, like- the love of my life. I wanna spend the rest of my life with you!” He was so distracted by talking that he didn’t even notice when you got up and walked over to Chris at the pool table. He just sat there, speaking to nobody in particular.

“Hey, Y/N! How’s it goi- aagh!” His speech was cut off as Chris got hit square in the balls with an 8 ball. It was certainly a sight, seeing him spread eagle on the green felt, wearing nothing but the silver mankini, his very exposed skin illuminated by the dim yellow ceiling lamp. “Oh shit! Are- are you okay?” Holding his crotch, he winced for a moment before falling over, tumbling to the side with a grin. He nodded, putting you at ease a little. You breathed a sigh of relief, “Well, Steve told me to tell you that he’s over on the couch if you wanna hang.” Not passing up at any opportunity to bro out, he headed over to him, smiling like a golden retriever.

Just as he left, your vision caught the pool from the corner of your eye. Since the party was held at the VIP suite of a hotel, the room had everything- of course the pool table, but you also had a deluxe lighting system, an open bar, and, of course, a private swimming pool. Curious and hot, you crept outside to investigate.

The second you opened the sliding glass door, you were drenched by a wave. Opening your eyes, you saw Bam in the pool, flipping his hair back as the people around him cheered. You’d later find out he did a ‘super badass gainer’, as he put it. The chlorinated water permitted your clothes, leaving you bitter and dripping wet as Bam laughed at you, finding this hilarious. Grumbling, you took a seat on one of the lounge chairs with a broken strap, dripping onto the pavement.

And just as you sat down, Ryan came waltzing by on the deck, clearly drunk off his ass as he dragged his feet. One minute, he was up and walking- the next? Plunk. In the water. He didn’t even try to swim up, just sort of sitting down there, bubbles rising from his lips down by the bright, medically white LED pool lights. If you weren’t so worried about him, you might say he looked like a peaceful wet specimen down there.

But your veiw of him was erased- ripples and splashes distorting the reflection of him as he was quickly hoisted out from under his shoulders. Of course, that's what it took for people to stop staring at Bam, being the attention whore he was. Ryan’s savior grinned, laying him out flat on the cement, “Now this is why you should always have a lifeguard on duty, boys and girls. That’s what I- Bunny the Lifeguard- am able to save this young man’s life. I’m just gonna perform a little mouth to mouth and he should be just fine!”

Just as Chris slowly leaned down, about an inch from his face- Pow! Ryan’s fist shot up, planting one on him square in the jaw as he lurched up, coughing up water and soaking his t-shirt for the second time that night. Once he got it all up, he sputtered out, “Holy shit- dude! Are you alright?” Pontius rubbed his jaw, wiggling it a little to try and get it back into place, still smiling, “Yeah, man!” He helped him to his feet like nothing happened, the two chuckling.

As the night grew darker, a breeze blew past you, making you shiver in your seat, ushering you back into the party, warm with bodies in motion. The music R&B- loud but dull, the kind that made the insides of your ears tickle. Leaning against the wall, you looked around you at the party, everyone flirting and talking and laughing. But your head just throbbed.

“Hey, sweetheart. Can I buy you a drink?” Your ears perked up at the sound of his voice as you head whipped around, your vision dark as your face landed firmly in the vintage t-shirt covering Johnny’s chest. “Woah there…little forward, are we?” You could feel the skin and muscle right beneath the fabric. It felt warm, comforting- nice, in a weird way. He grinned as you quickly pulled away. “I’m pretty sure this is an open bar.” He raised his eyebrows with a gleam of hope, “Well, what’s your poison?”

Johnny looked at you with sweet dark eyes as he glanced over his sunglasses, close enough that you could smell the booze on his breath, “I’m sure you’d be more comfortable in some dry clothes, baby. I got a real nice shirt you could wear.” You gulped down the liquid at the bottom of your red solo cup, his attempts at flirting getting less cringy as you got more drunk. “That’s cute. Hey, why aren’t you hangin’ with Steve? I’m sure he’d be happy to let you help him do lines off some dead hooker’s ass.” Your giggling at your own joke was quieted as he gently held your chin between his thumb and forefinger, turning you to face him.

“Y/N- If anything, I’d rather do lines off of yours. God knows you have a great one.”

#jackass #johnny knoxville #jackass fanfiction #jackass fanfic #fluff #jackass x reader #johnny knoxville x reader

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ramblesandrambling · 3 months

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Ugh, WB are shameless cunts. They cancelled Our Flag Means Death and now are using it to promote their streaming service.

I mean, 100% it's an adorable clip. That little smize Blackbeard gives Stede makes you want to giggle.

But, Zaslav, you cancelled the show, fucker. Because "it didn't have the numbers." And now you're like "Hey, you know a show everyone loves? This one!"

#Finish Our Stories #Our Flag Means Death #Save OFMD #OFMD #corporate bullshit #If you haven't heard about the ACME vs COYOTE thing look it up #Because Zaslav clearly doesn't see his employees as people

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jess-moloney · 3 months

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My thoughts on her photo… I’m SO GLAD she cut her hair so she can stop referring to its length and color combo as “Morticia vibes” 🤢

Hate the shirt. If you’re gonna spend that much time, money and effort on tattoos covering more than 50% of your body, why wear so many long sleeves, turtleneck and general coverings? It’s never made sense to me. I’m not saying wear crop tops and booty shorts, but it’s weird how her general, most of the time clothing options are long sleeves and long pants. If I went through the trouble of the tattoos, I’d show them off. And if I hated them, I’d start covering or removing them.

Her lips don’t look bruised to me. They look super plumped up with uneven filler. Maybe she can’t close them, but I wonder if she means to do that open mouth thing. Is that like a smize? Is this the new thing? An open mouth pout? Hate it. She’s already pouting because of her artificial lips. 🤣

Her hair was looking ratty at that length for a very long time but I also think it was possibly just a case of very bad extensions and she wasn't caring for them properly. They look like extensions in a lot of photos and if that isn't the case she has extremely thin and brittle hair.

As for the tattoos, I wouldn't say she hides them all that much. There are plenty of photos of her showing them off. Especially wearing her fitness outfits. She'd also have to wear gowns and certain things to certain events and even if you look that up, most of the time what she's wearing is sleeveless so you can see as many tattoos as possible.

With the lips (in the recent photo) there is definitely a noticeable dark spot where I pointed it out. It's darker than the rest of her lips. I think there was a bruise or something there but, once again, that could be from the injection process (it would depend when she'd gotten them done).

So she more than likely just had them done (maybe even the same day that she took the photo).

#jess moloney #jamie campbell bower #jamie bower #mail

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mariacallous · 1 year

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On a recent afternoon in Corriganville Park, an old movie-set ranch in the rocky foothills of the Santa Susana Mountains in Southern California’s Simi Valley, with her blonde bouffant teased to previously uncharted dimensions, a spiked headdress in the shape of a bursting nebula, Wonder Woman–esque wrist cuffs, and bulbous Proenza Schouler open-toe shoes, Jennifer Coolidge looked very much the part of a sci-fi superheroine. She brought to mind such greats as Jane Fonda in Barbarella, Zsa Zsa Gabor in Queen of Outer Space, and First Mate Piggy in “Pigs in Space,” the cult Muppets space opera.

Coolidge, who this year swept the Emmys, Golden Globes, and Critics Choice Awards for her portrayal of a heedless hotel habitué on The White Lotus, was engaged in a winner-takes-all slugfest with Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert, the directing duo known as Daniels, whose multiverse epic, Everything Everywhere All at Once, was the most nominated film at this year’s Academy Awards. It was a surreal scene. Coolidge was protecting Earth from a giant extraterrestrial fashion lobster with monstrous claws, played by Scheinert, but instead of “Pow!” and “Whack!” their interaction was more like “Pow” and…“Whack?”

“I think the best thing to do is to take this,” said Kwan, handing Coolidge a rhinestone-encrusted metal scepter before ducking back behind the camera. “Act like you’re going to stab him.” Coolidge squinted her eyes, seemingly confused about the nature of her superpowers. “Oh, you mean I’m supposed to be annihilating him? That’s cool, I guess,” she said. She proceeded to gently prod Scheinert, who appeared to barely feel the might of her wrath under the spiked sleeves of his crustacean-couture ensemble. Glancing back and forth between his camera’s viewfinder and the low-stakes combat unfolding before him, Kwan furrowed his brow. “You’re being shocked by the scepter,” he explained to Scheinert. Trying not to laugh, he added, “And maybe, kind of, enjoying it.” Scheinert put his claws on his hips, nodding his head in agreement, his whiskerlike antennae flopping in the air. As if on cue, Coolidge prodded him once again, this time more forcefully, sending Scheinert into an exaggerated Looney Tunes–like convulsion, followed by suggestive gyrations reminiscent of a K-Pop boy-bander.

Coolidge let out a loud cackle. “I can’t kill him now,” she said, her face awash with childlike amusement. When the camera clicks paused, Scheinert peeled off his Robyn Lynch balaclava. Shirley Kurata, Daniels’ costume designer, began removing his arthropod exterior. “What is it about lobster claws that I’m so attracted to?” Coolidge wondered. She then turned her attention to surveying the clothing racks filled with tubular disc dresses, new-wave hats shaped like lampshades, and metallic-hued space cowboy boots. “Oh, so this is what we’re going to be doing today,” she said, her voice tinged with bewildered excitement. “I look pretty evil. They seem to like me in villain outfits a lot.”

...

For their latest romp, the directors said there was no question that Coolidge had to be the A-list star of this B-movie shoot, though they had never worked with the actor and their only in-person interaction with her was a brief hello at the Critics Choice Awards in January. “But of all the people who are having a moment right now, she felt like someone exciting to put on the cover of a magazine,” Kwan said. Thanks to her Rubenesque figure, flowing blonde locks, bee-stung pout, and million-dollar smize, Coolidge certainly stands out in everything she’s in, whether she’s playing a dim-witted nail tech in Legally Blonde, a desperate housewife having a lesbian affair with her poodle’s trainer in Best in Show, a sultry suburban MILF in American Pie, a trigger-happy mother-in-law to Jennifer Lopez’s bride-to-be in Shotgun Wedding, or, most recently, a psychic TV medium in Netflix’s We Have a Ghost.

More than anything, Scheinert explained, the directors appreciate a stacked résumé. “I’m prejudiced against young people,” he said. “I have problems with our youth-obsessed culture and beauty standards, so anytime we can shake things up a little, I’m all for it.” Kwan and Scheinert, who are both 35, said working with Michelle Yeoh, 60, Jamie Lee Curtis, 64, and now Coolidge, 61, allows them to pick up “different strategies for existing in this industry,” almost as if by osmosis. “We still feel like just babies,” Kwan said.

On that point, Coolidge was in firm agreement. “The film business tires people out. But I swear to god, I felt like I was getting together with little kids,” she said of her day with the directors. “They were like these sort of child prodigies who are super, super smart and just super creative. I’ve never been asked to do a shoot like this: I have weapons, take down small cities, pick up cars and throw them. I don’t know if I will ever be this surprised again. It was one of the best things I have ever been involved in.”

Like the rest of the world, Kwan and Scheinert swooned over Coolidge’s performance as Tanya in The White Lotus. They were mesmerized as she blasted her way to a clumsy demise on a megayacht chartered by the fearsome Fab Five of Sicily in the final episode of the show’s second season. One of Tanya’s lines is now the stuff of meme legend: “These gays, they’re trying to murder me!”

Speaking about Tanya, but also possibly referring to her own trajectory, Coolidge said: “I feel bad for her, because she didn’t know what she was made of. She didn’t have that kind of faith in herself. Sometimes these scary things happen in life. And then you find out, in like two seconds, that you are a survivor and that you can really pull through for yourself, sometimes in a way that you never believed you could.” Then, with inimitable comic timing, she pitched her raspy voice ever so slightly so it sounded like her scatterbrained character on The White Lotus: “But then, of course, it didn’t quite end up going my way in the end, did it?”

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ouyangzizhensdad · 2 years

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What is the justification for lwj becoming the chief cultivator in c/ql? Because I've been thinking about it and I just cannot imagine lwj agreeing to that after all of his experiences with the cultivation world, and also with what that position was originally intended for. Was there a good reason for this in c/ql that I'm just forgetting??

Episode 50. After lsz and wn leaves, wwx says 篮湛我们也走吧。出哪儿好了。 and starts steering xiaopingguo towards their next adventure, expecting lwj to follow. Lwj stays put, his back turned to wwx. Sad wuqi instrumental starts to play as wwx realises that something is wrong. 蓝湛，你……不走了吗。 Still silent, lwj finally turns around and, seemingly incapable to keep looking at wwx in the eyes, looks down to the ground. wwx attempts to deliver a smile with tear-filled eyes. lwj looks up. wwx takes a shaky breath. The camera moves steadily further away from them, in total silence except from the sounds of summer bugs--FADE CUT TO an establishing shot of the cloud recesses. A lake, and next to it wwx is air-playing the flute, this time it's triumphant wuqi, and soon is revealed lwj playing the guqin (though what accounts diegetically for the orchestra is left to you). The impromptu music video has an interlude with a drone shot leading us to our two leads, now magically and suddenly atop of a level of the waterfall, sans instruments. And this is where, dear anon, you get the c/ql explanation for lwj's choice, as the barely muted lyrics continue in the background (according to the yt subtitles):

WWX: "Lan Zhan, to be honest, it surprised me that you would take over the role of Excellency" LWJ: "We made a vow here--" FLASHBACK WWX: "May I, Wei Wuxian, curb the violent and assist the weak. And have no regrets." FLASHBACK LWJ: "May I, Lan Wangji, curb the violent and assist the weak." LWJ: "--Have no regrets." *WWX smiles and drinks tianzixiao* WWX: "Lan Zhan, you truly deserve your title, Hanguang-jun." LWJ: "And you too, Wei Ying." *WWX smiles brightly, and LWJ smizes*

Now there are many things that drive me insane about this portion of the episode, but lest I spend the whole time focusing on how lwj's response in the subtitles to wwx's comment that he deserves his title, "hgj" makes this supposedly heartfelt moment sound like the kind of awkward exchange wherein you respond "you too" to a waiter telling you to "enjoy your meal", I'll focus instead on a specific aspect that annoys me. In c/ql, when we meet teenage lwj, he already has the title 'hanguang-jun'. In the novel, as we all know, this was a title that was conferred to him during the war by the common people, because he went where he is needed without care for fame or glory or power, ie, he goes where the chaos is. In the novel we see that he does not get involved in politics much (we see him more involved in teaching the new generation), however when the situation arises, he speaks up (such as when he speaks up for wn and wq) though even with his peerless reputation his words alone is not enough to change the tides of public opinion or the political machinations of others. This is why having wwx and lwj spend a lot of their time roaming and helping the common people at the end of the novel, especially having them do the nighthunts that other cultivators deem below them, aligns with what is established of his character and how he deserves his title of 'hanguang-jun'. So saying him becoming the xiandu is "deserving of his title" when it goes against the very? context? behind it? means either that 1) the people behind the adaptation did not understand this part of the character and the novel or 2) that they did not care and just went 🤷‍♂️ now it's about, uh, "curbing the violent and assisting the weak" by uh.... becoming the most powerful and well-known representative of the system that I will now curb the violent and assist the weak because I will fix it from within by.... having my word be law? Who knows? 🤷‍♂️ Not us, which is why lwj’s plan and motivations are explained through silence and two sentences. You fill up the rest for us, dear viewers!

#brine corner #anon ask

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goongiveusnothing · 8 months

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not to be mean but she should find another look that isn’t her rolling her eyes. in the one where she’s sitting on a chair with a pleather jacket, the eye roll makes it look like one of her eyes is a lazy eye.

too often you see actors/models fall into giving one face they think is good for some reason. i'm guessing she thought this looked killed it on a past shoot because it makes her look indifferent or like she's thinking or something. just having any expression without needing to give an expression or smize which it seems she's not great at doing.

but it's a dead eyed look that makes her look bored of what she's doing and adds to how dead and blase she looks in all her other photos. i feel like training people to take decent photos should not be this hard. just watch one zendaya video. just take some photography or modelling classes. i truly don't get it.

her and harry in a photo would just be both of them trying to look really indifferent but actually looking just indifferent and bored and doing the same 2 expressions in every photo.

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topmodelranking2 · 2 years

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Any advice for looking confident in photos

Honestly, this is hard to really define. There are so many vague terms that instantly come to mind when trying to explain this, so I've tried to explain what I mean as non-redundantly as possible. Sorry if I've failed at this.

Probably the two biggest things that instantly make me question the confidence are the eyes and the mouth. Wide open eyes can work, but I think a lot of the time when a photo reads as lacking confidence, the model has wide spread eyes with nothing really going on. I know Tyra tried to make smizing a thing, but I do think trying to squint the eyes slightly, feels more confident most of the times. Strong, direct eye-contact can also generally help.

Of course, it needs to match the rest of the face, especially the mouth. Parted lips again can work in dreamy-breathless sort of scenarios, but I think generally a tight closed jaw or a smile will read as more confident.

The face is the crucial part for me when it comes to confidence, while you need to commit with the pose, or try and go natural, if you don't seem confident facially, your pose will always seem uncertain. I do think those more exaggerated poses generally work better, sort of like all those power poses people use in business. Open, rather than closed off.

I think an example of these failures is Tahnee's trapeze shot, here we see her wide eyes, no strong expression behind them, the parted lips. It just instantly reads as lacking confidence, even with eye contact, so that alone isn't enough. You can then contrast that with Franky's shot from the same week, strong eyes, tight jaw, helps make the pose seem confident, despite potentially being another one that could be awkward.

#ausntm #auscycle5 #antm #tahnee atkinson #franky okpara

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nmsthim · 1 month

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#imabigasb$$$$

IMABIGASB$$$$ #16big #13itch I love my life give me my round ain't no bald headed trick x2

ya love this right here a trick off the books ain't no pork and bean STUFF eat my dust just living life baby ain't A fool for two repping and stepping I love my ninjas tho we reaching the hilt of it. custom made bust down they calling me back to the streets big talk big stick hella rounds,

I got some blicks I'm the talk of the town the head mistress the mistress diaries I'm her the one and only he love me and get it for me making sure I don't miss my menses a page off the black books miss Mary on a whimp who is him get yo wig split solid like a rock bling Miami, off of bricks hos in different area codes drip in designer ain't the weakest link Mr.I I'm about that action facts over fiction spend it how I live it get it and I'm A winner checks blowing digits get like me shorty hoping for my dream beat like a freak CHORUS

OOS coming after me yelling whoop that trick I'm getting paid to split these gs split and dip. honey I'm coming home and its for a fee I'm fresh and so clean mouth full of Gleece bleed where's the fleece I'm A freak in the sheets leave a block head on the streets boss mentality head over heels in my big ass Bentley never too much for me check OOS and balance ninjas don't get at me if I ain't send for ya. ya peep but stay sleep motivate but y'all can't relate ain't weak in the knees, I'm in y'all mentions bow legs looking like the best pair in show collecting heads like its war warm up to me for the best in me tell them ill be coming around the Mountain crazy eyes on me I'm on one break them eyes as I walk by switch the walk with a smize like what like whatever whenever wherever you know I've been better so sick of love songs anyways break the ice ice baby come and talk to me open up to me talking about some honest tea pity party need to get past me princess pea, piss of by everything everyone on one what we gonna be music to my ear I'm getting tired of the STUFF talking street bulky walking , zombie hunting, acting green does it do something for ya ,forward this message to 20 ppl

CHORUS tax that BUTT because I'm what you ought to be going for the gold I'm coming through Smooth smooves and unaltered carbon I'm adulterY porn over 18, asking dude where's my car? behind the wheel in the latest model I love being me yeah me picture me rolling couldn't imagine me doing anything other what its been and come and earn it work it girl you know you prefect A plus for the try trump card getting by black card so I'm always fly peep the green card yeah I'm the reason why. stay strong never be complacent no lying ho can stop this parade don't rain on my parade say what's on you mind since you got something to say better surroundings caused for times like this from dusk til dawn I got what's coming for me rocking the latest designer things rings blings chains gains Hanes a cat walk thru pop my color my collar I'm fresh and famous too... get like me, ain't another shawty like me and right away is another bust open up to another opp hater blockers on me I won't be stopped treat or trick yourself into a block head strong money on my mind click flash a selfie and get a bigger picture swarm my way I'm putting ways out like its free dinner I got the keys and status knock y'all out the frame changed that game had to plead the fifth if that's what you mean with these kids and yo man I just might stay never sleep on these hos tell them get away tellem get back back, back to back, back to black, CHORUS..... miss me with that bull spit heavy hitter, hit em up style and let soul's boy tellem put those opposing in a coffin rock em sock em drop em clock em out empty out the pockets clips and wallet mistaken me for you friend or something what do you want from me? do my dance at the end since I'm free balling , balling so hard Ware at the point that it osama a clown and it all falls down never new a love like this found a pick me up after the end to a beginning put some respect on my name replay the last clip respect the technique nameless and blameless in your eyes Alexa couldn't figure me out free balling like mike and Iverson had to post up alone zooming down the alley like you owe me something collect calls like I just came from the pen jail bait have them clicking and saying my name no complaints, no shoes, no shirt, no service bed set, game, and match, ain't no cheap thrills thriller this vanilla he a wanna be big kill king me and check my mate with a few whirlwinds you don't know what's coming for you me myself and I I love me like I'm A classic ,A fan, an icon awesome! good job! thanks! no prob! Eat you up like its a pinched giveaway getting struck by Cupid,call it lucky strike, green lightning.. Gas lighting never stopping pocket watching got to think twice. never switch up balling like we took Arab from soulja call me a stronghold if I ever beg, its bigger war on drugs I'm that blood thinner no cap if I got a prob ya peep the turn of events ima get right with ya.

Chorus

#relatable memes #audible #music #album #sing #rap #rhymes

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hsockel · 1 year

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all my favorite restaurants are turning into amex commercials

Tonight I accidentally walked into an Amex commercial. Today, actually. I wanted to eat dinner at this Italian restaurant I like on 12th, and by “I like” I mean “I went there once when I was 25 and they sat me at the chef’s pass, and I had a book, and also my phone, and it was one of the first times I experienced the joy of dining solo in New York.”

So I went there today, because it had been a terrible week, and I needed something cozy and warming, and when I got there the street was blocked by a camera crew. I walked right into the restaurant and Amy Schumer was standing there, obviously waiting for something but also very focused. She was smizing at an iron pole in the restaurant, getting into character (?), or maybe just thinking about how her life turned into something she hadn’t expected: a life where people who google "female comedians" see her name come up first.

“What are you filming?” I asked someone on the street.

“An Amex commercial, now move along love.”

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riverstardis · 1 year

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about my mother:

ah hugo! climbing under a lorry

they’ve got an undercover inspection so elle wants to split them into two teams to add a little competition and jacob suggests doctors vs nurses

and connie’s back😬 and she’s moving in to dylan’s office? did elle not have her own office before she became acting clinical lead?? i’m always confused about the office situation with the consultants because the way the offices get mentioned it’s as if they are meant to have one each but like when zoe came back after connie had the cl office redone she had to share with ash, and connie having to share with dylan here presumably meant that elle was sharing with dylan previously? but if there really is only one consultant’s office surely they would refer to it as “the” office when talking to each other? but then we see both ethan and will’s offices in s34 and it doesn’t look like they’re sharing with anyone? but maybe that’s because will was paeds?

aw connie looking at grace’s generic social media page ‘PalsNet’ and the last thing she posted before the accident was ‘there isn’t a single thing about my mum i like…’ :(

hugo’s asking after grace, saying she hasn’t been answering his texts and he’s heard she hasn’t been in school :(

aww “we had a date once, we went skating. i miss her. she is okay, isn’t she?” :((((

lmao noel’s asking his network of receptionists for any descriptions of possible inspectors and he tells the nurses he’ll give them a heads up on the condition that he can be on their team if they win, and then he goes and says the exact same thing to the doctors sjdkfkkg

ethan’s trying online dating skdkfkgk

ethan: “i’m really not sure i’m cut out for this online dating” lily: “you’re not. it’s for losers and weirdos.” cal: “thought it’d be right up your street!” looks at mr grayling walking past “i know you’re into losers” lily: “not anymore. i moved on from you a long time ago.” HELPSKDKFJFK YES LILY GET HIM

i mean cal’s right about lily and mr grayling though🤢

connie lies and says grace is at hockey

louise is being really over the top nice to everyone because of the inspection skdkfkkf

loll cal grabbing seb and telling the nurses that patients love hot young doctors and seb’s like “yeah if only it worked on dylan” sjsjfk

mr grayling sure is hanging around a lot. i guess no one thinks it’s suspicious because they’ll assume he’s there to see lily or sebastian

jacob telling elle he slept with someone else😬 she’s like “connie’s child is seriously ill and you go and get your leg over with someone random? classy!” and tells him he has to tell her because she’ll find out at some point anyway and she deserves better. i love how elle is always genuinely sticking up for connie despite how connie interprets everything she does as a threat.

lmaoo cal and ethan overhear noel talking to robyn and realise he’s playing them

aw ethan’s looking at his online dating thing again and cal’s like “are you still at it?” and he’s like “yes, if i was just funnier, sexier, and about 5 inches taller”😭😭

skdkfkkg louise comes over and they tell her they overheard noel talking about how she’d gotten a complaint from a patient and she insists she was dead to him

ohh connie’s noticed that mr grayling is hanging around for an unusually long time. i think she just thinks he’s there to see lily though. i feel like if she wasn’t off her game she’d have at least considered the possibility that he may be the inspector at this point.

aww jacob brings grace down because her doctors are trying to discharge her but connie yells at him and then hugo sees and runs away because she lied to him :(

poor hugo :(

lmaoo cal taking a picture of ethan for his dating profile telling him to “smize for the camera” and then going “that is actually painful” yknow cal’s actaully right again because what on earth is he doing with his face😭😭😭

oooo louise starts having a go at noel after she’s finished having a go at the patient and then when noel tells her there was no complaint she starts having a go at cal and robyn reveals the patient has actually made a complaint now and jacob is also mad at cal saying the nurses did nothing wrong and dylan says more like they were doing nothing at all and tells them how david suspected meningitis in a patient and didn’t tell him and they all just descend into arguing in the middle of reception right in front of mr grayling who then reveals that he’s the inspector😭😭😭😭 yeahh i’m not sure making a competition out of it was the best idea elle😬

of course connie stops pushing jacob away and invites him to move in with them just as he’s trying to tell her he cheated

aww grace’s whole post from before was actually not the whole thing it’s actually positive and they’ve put it over connie and jacob taking her home🥺🥺

although it doesn’t really sound like something a 10 year old would write on social media tbh

#classic casualty #about my mother

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