#sj fic

[skijumpingf1]

Pillowtalk (D.Prevc X D.Tande)

Hello guys. I am back with another Domiel fic. This time it is set before the weekend in Oslo when they are finally reunited. There is a lot of talking happening between them hence the title. It´s kinda set in the same universe as my last one (here) but you can read it independently. I hope you like it. 🥰

Wordcount: 3949

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I spot him as soon as I leave the security area of the Oslo airport. This is one of my favourite airports. It’s quiet and airy. But mainly it is the person that picks me up every time I land here, that makes this airport special. He is standing a bit in the back, leaning against a wall, and watching me. I just stop in the middle of the chaos around me and take a moment to look at him. Our eyes meet and a corner of his lips is rising. That small smile is making my heart race faster. God, has he always been this beautiful? His blonde hair is hiding under a grey beanie, but his face is glowing. I can’t do anything against the bright smile that is building on my face.

Suddenly a body runs into me, and I turn around to see who disturbed me. “Shit Domen. Watch out!” Timi is shaking is head at me. Our team and the girls team make quite the entrance. With our skis, teamwear and Lovro who is having his fifteen minutes of energy of the day, we got a lot of eyes on us. It is obvious that we are some kind of sport team, and I am waiting for the first person who is brave enough to come up to us. Over my shoulder I can see how my boyfriend is giggling. Timi follows my gaze. “Ah there was your attention. Why are you still standing here?” I sigh. “Because I´m wearing team gear and we are recognizable that way.” The real greeting would have to wait until I loaded my skis in the team bus. That is the deal with Rob. I could leave with Danny and spend the night with him in his flat when I helped my team with putting everything away. It is a generous offer and I´m sure he is just doing it because I was grumpy the last couple of weeks. Danny already texted me where he parked and there, we could finally be with each other again.

“Why don’t you guys make it public already? This has been going on for years. Wouldn’t it be easier to just do it?” I grab my stuff and shoot a last smile to Daniel. Then I follow my teammates out of the airport. “It is not that easy. There are no other queer male ski jumpers and sadly athletes in a same-sex relationship always get attention and hate. It is a step we can’t take back, you know?” Luckily, it’s not like we are world famous. Normally if I wasn’t here with my team I would have hugged, maybe even kissed, Daniel right there in the airport hall. It is just around ski jumping stuff we have to be careful around. Which still sucks but it is manageable until we decide that we are ready.

Norway greets us with sunshine. The car is already halfway loaded when Timi and I put our skis in the back of the van. Rob, who notices my glances into the direction of the parking lot across the street, nods and smiles at me. “Just go Domen. We will see you tomorrow.” “Thank you so much.” I give my brother a fast pat on the shoulder than I´m off. With fast steps I practically jog to the other side of the street. Daniel is playing around on his phone. When he hears my steps, he puts his phone in his pocket and looks up. From close up he looks even better. His light eyes wander from my face down my body and then land on my face again. I take a deep breath and then I am finally there. Finally, I can touch him again. Be with him. I grab his hand and an electric impulse runs through me. He pulls me into a deep hug. “Hey.”, I mumble against his chest. His chin rests on my head. Daniels hands are firmly griping onto my hips. I missed this feeling. Our bodies fit perfectly together. If it is his hands on my hips, our fingers intertwined or my hands on his cheek. It always feels perfect. “I missed you so much.” Alone hearing his voice in person and not through a phone speaker makes me shiver. “I missed you more.” Slowly we part but I press a kiss on his soft lips. My hands wander into his hair. The smell of Daniel is surrounding me. God, have I missed all of this. “I would really like to continue this but not here, darling.” I roll my eyes when we fully part. “Boring.” That makes Daniel laugh and he throws his head back. My favourite sound in the world. “Oh, come on your teammates are literally still watching us.” I look back to the other side of road. Indeed. The other guys are still outside of the car and observe us. Lovro is even waving to us. Peter on the other hand is grinning which is weird. Normally I feel like he just tolerates our PDA. “I hate these guys so much.”, I sigh. My boyfriend takes my hand and places a kiss on it. “I told you, you shouldn’t lie.” “I want to continue. So, let’s go home.”

His hand is on my thigh the whole drive from the airport to his flat in the suburbs from Oslo. We catch up a bit on light topics. How my flight was, if his mum baked me my favourite cake. Stuff like this. Just enjoying that the other one was there. Daniels flat is in a house with just three stories, but he lives on the top floor and has a good overview of the city. I love it here. It is so airy and open. You feel like you are in the city and at the same time you are in the nature. “I can’t believe I haven’t been here since early December.”, I state when Daniel opens the door to his apartment. “Well, we haven’t even seen each other since January.” January feels like a lifetime ago. So much stuff happened in between then and now. “I hated every second of it.”, I say and mean it. The only thing that helped me not going crazy was the fact that we talked on the phone at least twice a day. I kick my shoes off and hang my team jacket on the hanger. There is still a rain jacket of mine from last season there. Daniel and I are both not really good with our stuff. We forget clothes regularly. At least I forget. My boyfriend probably does it on purpose because he knows I like wearing his stuff. That is the reason why by now I have a full drawer of cloths here and he has the same at my apartment in Kranjc. “If you are hungry, I can put the lasagne in the oven.” “Or we do other stuff first.”

Daniel chuckles a bit and goes into the living room. I follow him in the cozy room. With the sloping roofs, the comfy rug and the furniture made out of wood his living room is my favourite part in the whole flat. The bedroom is obviously not too bad either, but I love spending time here on the couch just cuddling with Daniel and talking. “The lasagne takes almost an hour. I don’t think I can last that long today. Not after one month apart.” “Me neither to be honest. What do you think about showering?” I raise an eyebrow at my boyfriend. After the day full of flights, I probably stink a bit and my muscles are a bit sore from the training yesterday. “Showering sounds awesome.”

Freshly showered I sit at the small dining table which barely fits more than two people. Daniel is getting the lasagne out of the oven and the room already smells delicious. “I can help if you let me.”, I say a second time when Daniel places the tray on the counter and gets something to put the food on the plates. “No, no. You had a long day.” “A long day sitting on the plane.” I stand up and go into the kitchen. From behind I sling my arms around his waist and rest my head on his shoulder. “Please let me help you.” He leans back against me, and I enjoy the feeling of his body pressed against mine. We are both just wearing boxers and a loose Shirt from him. I couldn’t bother picking one of my own from the drawer. Without saying a word Daniel is putting the plates into my hands. A satisfied smile is building on my face. “See was that so hard?” “Yes. I wanted to take care of you, and you are not letting me.” I put the plates on the table and sit down again. Daniel is still in the kitchen searching for something in the fridge. “I thought you already took care of me. Very well if you ask me.”, I wink at him. He groans annoyed and I laugh a bit. I knew that I would get this reaction.

Daniel pulls a bottle of white wine out of the fridge. “Wine?” Normally Danny never drinks the day before he jumps. The same goes for me even though I´m not that strict. If there is a special occasion a beer or glass of champagne is okay for me. “We have something to celebrate, or did you forget?” It isn’t our anniversary, nor one of our birthdays. So, I really don’t know what he means. “Enlighten me.” Daniel shakes his head in disbelief. A few strands of his blonde hair fall in his face. “Your first win in almost five years? The last time you won before that we weren’t even together.” “Oh right. That happened as well.” My boyfriend looks at me like I´m crazy, while he finally comes to the table with the wine and two glasses. “This was the most important thing that happened this year.” I raise my shoulders. “Not going to lie. It was pretty awesome but so much has happened. Also, I don’t think I fully processed it. I haven’t had time to think about it properly.” This season is a lot. Probably one of the hardest one yet. There are so many competitions with so little time between them. A lot of travelling as well. I am already counting the days until the Monday after Planica. That never happened to me. “Then we can process it together.” He gives me my glass and raises his. “To my dork of a boyfriend who even forgot his win.” I stick my tongue out but raise my glass as well. “And to my boyfriend who is too good for me.”

“How is Nika doing?” “Nika?” I lower my fork and look at Danny. He is putting a bit of the delicious lasagne in his mouth. “She is doing good. Why are you asking? Have you heard something different?” He shakes his head and chews. “No, I haven’t. I am just wondering since Eva is getting stronger. Everyone believed it would be pretty easy to win the overall but now with Eva´s form I would be getting nervous.” “Honestly I don’t know.” Nika keeps even more to herself than I do. It is pretty rare that she comes with problems to me. Especially regarding ski jumping. But at least she talks a bit to me. With Pero or Cene there is almost no conversation about ski jumping. “Have you asked her? If someone can understand her it is probably you and not only because you are her brother.” A small laugh escapes me. “Of course, but I don’t want to push too much. I hated that.” Peter was always on my heels when I was leading world cup. He wanted to make sure I was doing okay but that just made me more nervous. Honestly it is one of the reasons why our relationship is still a bit rough sometimes. It definitely has gotten better over the years, but it still isn’t like it used to be. Nika and I are close, and I don’t want something like this ruining our relationship. “I get that but hopefully she talks to someone. It is so hard being that good that young. It is still messing with you and that was almost a decade ago.” “Well, I was a dickhead at the time and not properly thinking. Nika probably thinks too much about it all.” The Norwegian takes my hand over the table and strokes my palm with his thumb. “You weren’t a dickhead. You were just seventeen. I´m sorry that nobody gave you the support you needed. Just think about you wanted to have in this situation and give it to your little sister.” The only thing that I wanted was that everyone treats my normal. Not that hard if you ask me. “I will try to. She would be happy if you talk to her as well, I bet.” “Me?” I laugh and squeeze his hand. “She likes you and maybe it would help if she talked someone she hasn’t grown up with.” Daniel was one of the reasons I didn’t fully loose it back then. He talked normal to me. Not like I was this prodigy. I take a sip of my white wine.

“What about you though? You are doing Oslo but maybe not the full raw air?” He shrugs. “We will see. The best ones will do the raw air completely. But don’t worry. I booked a hotel room in Trondheim already just in case.” I press my lips together. Daniel is always quite realistic with his judgement of his jumps. I am always too pessimistic or too optimistic about it. But he knows where he would land on a normal competition day. Obviously, he is not always right, but the direction is most of the time correct. That he booked a hotel room for Trondheim tells me already that his jumps aren’t on the level he wants them to be. “Oh, come on. You will absolutely smash it in Oslo and do the complete tour.”, I try hyping him up. A bit more optimism wouldn’t hurt him today. “My teammates are getting better so its going to be hard but I´ll try. You can be sure of that. And if it doesn’t work out than it is probably for the best.” I raise an eyebrow at him, and he leans against the back of his chair. “Elaborate please.” Our plates are almost finished, and I want nothing more than to finally go lay down in bed with him and just hold him. But this conversation seems important, so I don’t let it drop. Daniel takes another sip out of his glass. His wine glass is already almost empty. “My jumps are not on the level I wanted them to be. With ski flying coming up, I don’t know if I feel secure enough to do it.” “Not with Planica coming up.” Planica is still a very hard topic for him, but also for me to be honest. Sometimes in nightmares or when he has a rooky flight, I can still feel that feeling I had back then. The unknown how he was doing. If he even was alive. But I train in Planica that often that I am mostly over it. Daniel on the other hand still struggles to come back there. Which is obviously understandable. “Yeah. If it was just Vikersund, I don’t think I would struggle so much with the thought of flying.” “You know that everyone will understand it when you don’t go to Planica even when you are doing the full raw air. If you aren’t comfortable enough with your jumps, then you just don’t go.”

My head lays on Daniels naked chest and I closely listen to his heartbeat. After dinner we both just wanted to get to bed. Of course, we couldn’t keep our hands to ourselves and now we are here. Both only dressed in our boxers tangled in between the bedsheets. It is dark outside, and we didn’t bother with turning a light on. A streetlamp is providing enough light for me to see him. With one of my fingers, I draw little things on Daniels stomach, and he shivers whenever I move to deep down. One of his hands is playing with my hair, the other one is slinging firmly around my waist. If I could, I would spend all my evenings like this. Just being with Danny is enough for me. “Maybe I should move here.”, I whisper in the silence of the room. Daniel immediately stops playing with my hair and sits up a bit. “You want what?” I look up to him. His blonde hair is totally messy and falls into his face. Gosh, I can’t believe he is really my boyfriend. I still can’t believe it even though it has been over four years. “Move here. We could spend so much more time together.” Eventually someone needs to move anyway if we want this relationship to last. The commute between Slovenia and Norway is hustle. I want this relationship to last. Daniel is the love of my life. It is easy to say this because it is true. He is my favourite person on this planet. He is the one I want to talk to and spend all of my ups and downs with. “You can’t just move here, Domen. What about your career? Your team is in Slovenia.” I roll onto my stomach and put my head in my hands. “Your team collects strays anyways. One more doesn’t really matter don’t you think.” “Gosh Domen, you can´t just say stuff like this. That’s something we need to think about.” Daniel is putting a hand on my cheek and looks me in the eyes. I lay my hand on top of his. “I´ll admit. It was an impulsive thought but doesn’t mean that I´m not serious because I am. I love this country, you know that. And I love you. For you I would move here.” “But I am not asking you to.” “You don’t have to. I am offering it.” I chuckle because this is Daniel to the core. He would never suggest that I move here. He thinks he would put a burden on me. Even if he deep down knows that it is probably the best solution for us. “And it is not like I would completely abandon my team at home. Obviously, I would still do the trainings camps and travel with them, but my home base could be here. The everyday stuff like getting in the gym. I could do that here.”, I add. Daniel runs a hand over his face and leans his head against the bed. The light of the streetlamp is shining on him and makes him glow. “It would be smarter if I come to Slovenia though. You are younger and your career is going to last longer than mine.” “No talks of retirement, Danny. Not until you actually consider it.” That is one of our rules. Whenever he had a bad competition, he used to joke about retiring. It made me so furious that I made that rule up. After that we talked about retiring just one more time. After his fall in Planica. After that fall I think everyone would have considered retiring. Thankfully he didn’t, though.

“I am just saying. You are not even 25. There at least ten more years for you in world cup. For me its more like five. Even if I stretch it out, I will probably retire before you. And then we will be settled here, and you still have to commute to Slovenia for the training. If we do it the other way around, you could spend the end of your career with your team.” I sigh. In a way he is right. “But my Norwegian is better than your Slovene. Also, I know you like it in Slovenia, but would you like it for more than a vacation? Because I know that I could live here. Maybe it is the right time now that Peter is retiring.” The team won’t be same without him. Even though I always wished that I was the only Prevc in world cup, now that it is really happening, I hate it. Never in a million years I would have thought to even think that. Without him in the team I am kind of scared that no one will try to include me anymore. I am not that close with the others. We are friendly of course but I see the way they are with each other. The way they don’t act with me. I know it is mainly my fault. At the being Lovro for example, tried hard to be closer with me but I kind off blocked it off. I don’t even know why. Peter is annoying but he always made sure that I was included. “Or maybe it is the time that you finally get close with your team. You always say you want to do. From here it won´t work.” I sit up and take one of his hands. “It was just an idea. But we should probably consider one of us moving in the near future because I will freak out at some point if we see each other so rarely.” “Oh, me too. The last weeks were so hard. I always dreamed of doing this.”, he says and presses a kiss on my lips. I lay one of my hands around his neck and pull him closer. “Me too.”

“You know if one of us moves, we probably need to tell the public about us. It will be hard to keep that big of a change a secret.” This time it is Daniel who is interrupting the silence. It is already past midnight, and we should sleep but neither of us is. Too hard is the desire to touch the other or talk about something. I have my arms wrapped around him from behind. His back is pressed against my chest and his warmth is heating me up. “At some point we would have to do it anyways.” My mind wanders to the conversation Timi and I had today. It would be easier if the public knew. I could kiss him at the hill after a good jump. We could be ourselves. “I always thought that at some point there would be a second Tande or another Prevc on the start list and people would find out that way.” A grin appears on my face. “You thought about us getting married?” I place a kiss on his shoulder. He turns around in my arms. Now we are face to face. On his lips is a breathtaking smile. “You didn’t?” “Well, I don’t think you thought that plan through. I did. FIS would never let us change our last names. There would be either two D. Prevc or D. Tande considering both of our first names start with D.” My smile widens even more. Of course, I thought about it. “I mean we still jump for two different nations. They could tell us apart. Or I use my second name as well.” He laughs a bit, and my heart skips a beat. “So much to think about. Moving, which last name we choose. But I really think we should go to sleep now. I want you to jump the full raw air and you need to be rested for it.”

#ski jumping #domen prevc #daniel andre tande #domiel #sj fic #never would i have ever thought of even sharing one fic and now its two #i am also working on a vikersund one #and i have ideas for planica #also this has been in my drafts since Tuesday but i never found the courage to posr

[wie-sagt-man-noch]

Adore You - Lellingerfic

Stephan hat Geburstag und wenn das kein Grund ist, einen Lellingershot zu posten, weiß ich auch nicht.

(Es ist ungelogen 4 Jahre her, seit ich die beiden das letzte Mal geschrieben habe sob)

Von Stephan umarmt zu werden, ihn dicht an sich zu spüren, ist mit nichts auf der Welt vergleichbar. Andreas hat schon unzählige Menschen berührt, platonisch und weit darüber hinaus, aber bei niemandem fühlt er sich so gelöst und angekommen wie bei Stephan. Oder: Wer adored hier eigentlich wen? (FF) (ao3)

Die Tür des Hotelzimmers fällt mit einem leisen Klicken hinter Andreas ins Schloss. Er atmet tief ein und hat seine Augen geschlossen, während er sich mit hinter dem Rücken verschränkten Armen an die Türe lehnt. Der ganze Trubel, der gerade noch um ihn herum geherrscht hat, ist verstummt. Stattdessen nimmt ihn eine wohlige Stille in Empfang. Die vielen Fragen der Reporter, die am Ende doch die immergleichen waren, 4,8 Punkte Rückstand vor dem letzten Springen, beunruhigt Sie das? Spüren Sie den Druck, nachdem Sie auf Platz 2 in der Gesamtwertung gerutscht sind, nun deutlicher? hallen nur noch leise in seinem Kopf nach. Andreas atmet noch einmal tief ein und langsam wieder aus, dann öffnet er seine Augen und sieht, dass das Nachtlicht im Schlafbereich angeschaltet ist. Schnell schlüpft er aus seinen Schuhen und lässt seine Jacke achtlos auf den Boden fallen, auch wenn er weiß, dass Stephan später seine Augen verdrehen wird, wenn er das Chaos sieht. In wenigen Schritten ist er im Hauptbereich ihres Hotelzimmers angelangt, wo sein Zimmerpartner mit einem Buch in der Hand in ihrem gemeinsamen Bett liegt. Der Anblick von Stephan, wie er in einem – seinem – ausgewaschenen Shirt und einer schwarzen Jogginghose mit dem Rücken an der Wand lehnt und die Beine entspannt übereinander geschlagen hat, sorgt dafür, dass Andreas' Herz unbeholfen und voller Zuneigung in seiner Brust stolpert.

„Hey“, grüßt Stephan ihn, während er sein Buch zur Seite legt und ihn mit einem warmen Lächeln, was seine Grübchen zum Vorschein bringt, willkommen heißt. Anstatt zu antworten, überbrückt Andreas den Abstand zwischen ihnen, lässt sich neben ihn sinken und umarmt ihn kurzerhand. Die Position ist nicht ideal, aber das stört ihn nicht. Sein Kopf ruht zwischen Stephans Halsbeuge und Brust und wenn er sich etwas streckt, berührt seine Nasenspitze Stephans Hals, während er seinen rechten Arm so gut es geht um den warmen Körper seines Freundes geschlungen hat. Stephans Brust vibriert, als dieser leise lacht und seinen freien Arm ebenso um ihn legt. Fest und warm spürt er die Hand seines Freundes auf seinem Rücken und kann das zufriedene Brummen nicht zurückhalten, während er seine Augen abermals schließt.

„Rutsch mal n' bisschen rüber“, sagt Stephan ruhig, aber bestimmt, während er versucht, seinen rechten Arm unter Andreas hervorzuziehen. Andreas nimmt das zum Anlass, sich noch weiter auf ihn zu schieben, sodass er letztlich komplett auf ihm liegt.

Es ist kein Geheimnis, dass ihm Körperkontakt wichtig ist – dass er ihn aber regelrecht braucht, um sich nach einem anstrengenden Wettkampftag zu sammeln, überrascht ihn selbst immer wieder. Immer, wenn alles um ihn herum laut wird, er im Mittelpunkt des Geschehens steht und ein Interview nach dem anderen gibt, ertappt er sich dabei, wie in ihm die Sehnsucht nach einem Ruhepol aufkommt. Nach jemandem, der ihn im Hier und Jetzt hält, auf den er seinen ganzen Fokus richten kann. Dass er in Stephan eine Person gefunden hat, die genau das für ihn ist, lässt sein Herz noch immer höher schlagen. Von Stephan umarmt zu werden, ihn dicht an sich zu spüren, ist mit nichts auf der Welt vergleichbar. Andreas hat schon unzählige Menschen berührt, platonisch und weit darüber hinaus, aber bei niemandem fühlt er sich so gelöst und angekommen wie bei Stephan.

Der hat inzwischen seine frei gewordene Hand in Andreas' Haaren vergraben und massiert mit den Fingerspitzen sacht seinen Kopf. Mit jeder Bewegung spürt Andreas, wie die Anspannung des Tages Stück für Stück von ihm abfällt. Er selbst festigt den Griff um seinen Freund und konzentriert sich voll und ganz auf das wohlige Gefühl, das sich in ihm ausbreitet.

Andreas hat jegliches Zeitgefühl verloren, als er schließlich langsam blinzelnd seine Augen öffnet, den Kopf hebt und aufsieht. Stephans Blick ist noch immer unglaublich warm. Seine dunklen Augen beobachten ihn aufmerksam, während sich feine Fältchen um diese herum gebildet haben. Die Muttermale auf seiner Wange tanzen, als sich ein liebevolles Lächeln auf seine Lippen legt und sich eine feine Röte auf seinem Gesicht ausbreitet. Auch nach so langer Zeit wirkt er noch immer ungläubig und etwas peinlich berührt, wenn Andreas seinen Blick nicht von ihm abwenden kann.

„Hey“, murmelt Andreas schließlich und räuspert sich, weil seine Stimme rauer klingt, als sie es sein sollte. Er schiebt sich etwas nach oben und drückt Stephan einen federleichten Kuss auf den Mundwinkel.

Stephans Blick ruht interessiert auf ihm, „alles okay?“

Andreas hält inne und hört in sich hinein – aber außer Entspannung und Ruhe ist da nichts mehr. Keine Stimmen, kein Trubel. Er nickt schließlich. „Ja“, lautet die schlichte Antwort. Stephans Mundwinkel zucken leicht. Andreas weiß, dass dieser jetzt am liebsten noch einmal nachhaken würde, sich das aber verkneift. Deswegen schiebt er ein „wirklich, ich fühl' mich gut“ hinterher und rutscht schließlich von Stephan hinunter, bis er dicht neben ihm sitzt. Seine Hand hat die seines Freundes dabei fest umschlossen, während Andreas ihn vorsichtig anlächelt.

„Ohne dich wär's heute zu viel gewesen“, gibt er schließlich zu, „deswegen danke, dass du da bist. Das alles geht nur, weil du da bist.“ Seine Stimme ist fest und er weiß, dass es kitschig klingt, aber letztlich ist es nur eine Feststellung. Andreas weiß, wie es sich anfühlt, wenn Stephan nicht an seiner Seite ist. Deswegen ist er umso dankbarer, jetzt hier mit ihm und vor allem bei ihm zu sein. „Ich will das", setzt er nach, weil es die Wahrheit ist. Er will den Trubel, die Aufmerksamkeit, die Siege und die knappen Niederlagen und vor allem will er diese Vierschanzentournee gewinnen. Er will alles, auch wenn ihn das manchmal an seine Grenzen bringt.

Stephan mustert ihn eindringlich und schnaubt kurz auf. „Andi - es ist okay, wenn nicht alles in Ordnung ist, das weißt du?“ Andreas nickt nur stumm und etwas hilflos, während er bemerkt, wie unter dem intensiven Blick die Hitze in seinem Gesicht aufsteigt.

„Du packst das. Schließlich bist du dafür geboren“, zitiert Stephan sich selbst und schmunzelt dabei. „Das Interview hab' ich vorhin gesehen, gut zu wissen, dass ich bewundert werde“, steigt Andreas sofort mit ein und stupst sein Gegenüber spielerisch mit der Schulter an. Stephan zuckt daraufhin nur mit den Schultern und versucht, ernst zu bleiben. „Hätte schlecht was anderes sagen können.“ In seinen Augen blitzt der Schalk, während er seine Hand aus Andreas' Umklammerung löst und schließlich seine Arme vor der Brust verschränkt. Seine Mundwinkel zittern verräterisch und es dauert nicht lange, bis er das Lachen nicht länger zurückhalten kann. Andreas kann nicht anders, als mit einzustimmen. Hell und befreit bricht es aus ihm heraus und er kommt nicht umhin zu denken, dass Stefan wirklich das Beste ist, was ihm jemals passiert ist.

Es dauert eine Weile, bis aus dem Lachen ein Glucksen wird, beide schließlich verstummen und sich angrinsen. Von der vorherigen Anspannung ist nichts mehr übrig und Andreas spürt, wie sich eine tiefe Dankbarkeit in ihm ausbreitet. Mit Stephan kann er alles sein, egal ob ernst oder albern. Er muss sich weder für seine überschüssige Energie noch für die Melancholie, die sich nach solchen Tagen über ihn legt, entschuldigen oder erklären. Selbst die Stille, die sich nun zwischen sie gelegt hat, fühlt sich nach Geborgenheit an.

Stephan räuspert sich schließlich und nickt in Richtung Bad, „hab vorhin übrigens die Dusche für dich vorbereitet – dein Lieblingshandtuch und das Entspannungsduschgel liegen bereit.“

Zum wiederholten Mal an diesem Abend setzt Andreas' Herz einen Schlag aus.

„Ich liebe dich.“

Ohne eine Antwort abzuwarten, greift er wieder nach Stephans Hand und drückt einen sanften Kuss auf dessen Handgelenk, genau dort, wo der Puls schlägt. Dann lässt er ihre Hände in seinen Schoss sinken, während Stephan ihn mit leicht geöffneten Lippen und einem Funkeln in den Augen ansieht.

„Kommst du mit ins Bad?“, durchbricht Andreas das Schweigen rasch, während er Stephans Hand leicht drückt. Erwartungsvoll blickt er seinen Freund an, den Kopf hat er dabei etwas schief gelegt.

„Du spielst unfair“, antwortet Stephan nach kurzer Zeit mit belegter Stimme, während Andreas seine Unterlippe leicht nach vorne schiebt, was sein Gegenüber wie erwartet grinsen und schließlich nicken lässt.

Enthusiastisch und etwas ungeschickt steigt Andreas aus dem Bett und zieht einen überrumpelten Stephan dabei mit sich, sodass dieser gegen ihn stolpert. Reflexartig schließt Andreas seine Arme um den anderen, um sie beide zu stabilisieren. Stephans Hände liegen fest und schwer auf seiner Hüfte, während sie so dicht voreinander stehen, dass Andreas Stephans warmen Atem spürt.

Sein Blick huscht über das ihm so bekannte Gesicht und Andreas verliert sich einmal mehr in dem Gedanken, wie schön sein Freund tatsächlich ist. Als Stephan sich etwas von ihm wegdrückt, festigt Andreas seinen Griff instinktiv, nicht bereit, die Nähe zwischen ihnen aufzugeben. Stephan scheint das gar nicht zu bemerken, stattdessen sieht er ihm voller Zuneigung in die Augen, dann streckt er sich etwas und verschließt ihre Lippen zu einem sanften Kuss miteinander.

„Ich liebe dich auch“, murmelt er gegen Andreas' Lippen.

Die Endorphine jagen durch seine Adern, das Glück breitet sich schwallartig in jeder Faser seines Körpers aus, bis da nichts mehr außer Stephan ist. Stephan, dessen Herzschlag er an seiner eigenen Brust spürt, stark und gleichmäßig und unglaublich vertraut. Stephans Hände, die inzwischen langsam, beinahe suchend über seinen Rücken wandern und unter denen er sich so sicher wie nirgends sonst fühlt. Stephan, der ihn immer noch behutsam küsst und dabei leise aufseufzt. Alles fühlt sich unfassbar intim an und Andreas spürt das Verlangen nach mehr, näher, intensiver in sich aufsteigen. Ehe er dem Drang allerdings nachgeben kann, hat Stephan ihren Kuss gelöst und schiebt ihn stattdessen bestimmt in das angrenzende Badezimmer. Wie so oft scheint er zu wissen, was Andreas fühlt, was er braucht, ohne dass sie ein Wort darüber verlieren müssen.

Zum zweiten Mal an diesem Abend fällt eine Tür mit einem leisen Klicken hinter Andreas ins Schloss und zum zweiten Mal lehnt er mit geschlossenen Augen an dieser. Sein Kopf allerdings ist herrlich leer und alles, was er spürt, ist Stephan.

Jetzt gerade ist wirklich alles mehr als okay.

#lellinger #lellinger fic #sj fic #ski jumping #adore you von harry styles ist ein a+ fit #have fun my fellow lellingerstans ♥ #writing #my writing

[tinynerdycthulu]

tbh i dunno why so many sj apologists are anti-yqy. because like????? he is your mascot. he was the originator. the head honcho of excusing sj's levels of unmitigated villainy. look into my eyes and tell me that qi ge wouldn't blush and kick his feet if he saw xiao jiu commit murder. actually we don't NEED to imagine bc jiumei did just that and yue qi just grabbed his hand and ran, no thoughts head empty. arson? child abuse?? yue qi doesn't care. whatever makes xiao jiu happy <3

#qijiu #shen jiu #og!shen qingqiu #yue qingyuan #inspired by pro-sj anti-yqy fics on ao3 where yqy is just...so OOC #stop bullying yqy agenda 2024 #mtxt hates him enough he doesnt get a happy ending in pidw or svsss #bc living the rest of your live believing that the person most important to you and whom you love most is happy without you is #EXTREMELY tragic on its own but i think yqy could at least find satisfaction knowing his xiao jiu is happy #but he's not. it's an imposter and he'll never know #anyway yeah!!! sj might bite but yqy doesn't care because xiao jiu is xiao jiu. #svsss #mtxt

[jatersade]

taking a break from the 3.06 euphoria to be fucking devastated about jamie tartt?? not remembering losing his virginity because it was such a traumatizing experience??? People keep saying they want jamie’s dad to show up again so we can get some closure on that front but honestly I hope he never comes back and I hope it’s because sometime between seasons 2 and 3 james tartt sr. was taken out back and shot

#if there aren’t 200 fics about this on ao3 by Saturday I might have to take matters into my own fucking hands #ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #like actually though how much of Jamie’s childhood does he not even remember bc it’s just trauma after trauma #jason sudeikis im outside your house #posts by sj

[kesopan]

a bunch of shen yuan doodles (ft. binghe)

#shen yuan #svsss #one of them is like . sj!shen yuan but its pretty obvious I think #still not wholly sure how to draw him but . getting there #found these while cleaning out d drive\ #and i found some doodles There tht were supposed to be fanarts for certain fics and RARJUGGHHH WHY DID I STOP COOKINGG.. #((in the last one chibi bingge is listening to what was i made for and is having an Epiphany . sy thinks its great tht hes having fun)) #hm. i should finish tht actually

[gaywarcriminals]

Once finally left alone, Shen Qingqiu resisted the urge to snoop for all of 20 minutes. Look, if he was going to be stuck living as this man, he was within his rights to go through the original goods stuff! It was research, really— he was just doing his best to obey the systems draconian demands of staying in character! It was a perfectly sound course of action— Shen Qingqiu just wished he hadn’t started with the bedroom. 

There, in the second drawer Shen Qingqiu gleefully yanked open, was a neatly lined up row of items sealing Shen Qingqiu’s death sentence. Shen Qingqiu wanted to cry as he started at the vials of oils and jar of unguent, the coil of bright red ropes, and most damningly of all, a hyperrealistic dildo carved of black jade, big enough to rival the heavenly pillar. Shen Qingqiu knew the original goods was lascivious, but immortal biding cables? What poor shimei was he forcing??? And that thing: surely it couldn’t fit comfortably inside any woman, at least not without the protagonist’s skills to ease the way! Shen Qingqiu picked up the weapon— there was no better name for it— and wondered if destroying it would spare him any torture. Surely at least a fingernail or two!

“Qingqiu, I forgot to ask, did—“

Shen Qingqiu made a very dignified sound of surprise as Yue Qingyuan entered the room behind him. Yue Qingyuan stopped in his tracks, looking between Shen Qingqiu and the jade monstrosity. Shen Qingqiu opened his mouth to make an excuse, but what could he say? This scene was inexcusable. Dying of mortification was certainly one way of avoiding being human sticked! 

“Qingqiu, you’ve barely gotten out of bed, you can’t possibly be ready for dual cultivation yet. Look how red you are, you must still be feverish.” Shen Qingqiu stared agape as Yue Qingyuan moved too close for propriety and pressed his hand to Shen Qingqiu’s forehead. He hummed consideringly. “I’ll go fetch Mu-shidi.”

“No.” Shen Qingqiu squeaked— the last thing he needed was another witness!

Yue Qingyuan sighed indulgently. “Alright, If Qingqiu is truly in need, this Qi-ge will use his mouth.” 

For the second time that day, Shen Qingqiu fainted.

#don't worry they get SJ a mushroom body or something because SY is not about to leave this beautiful tragic man without a wife #or SY is SJ if that's your speed #I'm writers blocked so I'm grabbing old stupid ideas from my list #svsss #shen qingqiu #yue qingyuan #qijiu #fish fic

[mccromy]

Character: *is canonically violent and abusive but has a sad backstory*

Normal people: he isn't real and it's cool and fun to explore his character in different scenarios

Freaks: he was right actually AND he is a poor little boy, he was MISUNDERSTOOD. actually those children were abusive towards him first but the narrator was unreliable so :/

#i AM talking about Shen Jiu but I got hit by a flashback of another fandom doing this exact same shit you know what I'm talking about #i do like fics with SJ!! i don't hate him bc he's not real :) and I do find him interesting #but some people will just... be absolutely convinced that he's just some tsundere baby and actually lbh did deserve to be you know #whipped and starved #svsss #like not in a jokingly way they'll actually believe he is a good person and like.... reduce his character to a tsundere?? #the fun of him is how complicated he is!! he's got reasons but not justification #he was unjustly accused of shit he didn't do he was justly accused of shit he did do #he didn't want to kill lqg he did want to kill lbh #he loved yqy he stayed in the cang qiong sect for him even though he hated it there #he was incapable of loving anybody else #he was not incapable of caring but he was so traumatized he kept recreating his traumas #but now with him in the position of power #anyways this can be applied to a lot of characters #not only sj like #severus snape remember that shit jesus #and many more

[fistfuloflightning]

There was a time before I knew what you’d become.

Shen Yuan can’t believe a world like PIDW that could spawn the scum villain could also create someone like Shen Jiu. He doesn’t know they will soon be one and the same.

#trying to psych myself up to finish that lovers-to-strangers jiuyuan fic this was based on that I swore to myself I’d post six months ago 😞 #svsss #jiuyuan #shen yuan #shen jiu #svsss art #my art #SY doesn’t know when he transmigrated to pidw and so ppl’s identities are up in the air #I just want that moment of horror and anger when sj is renamed sqq as a peak lord successor and SY’s puzzle pieces finally snap together #the one character he hated the most and it’s someone he’s given everything to #up for debate if the system is keeping him from interfering with the plot and thus from changing sqq’s fate

[horsegirlwarcrimes]

if your still doing the fic-wip thing, i would love to know about the YQY and SQH De-Aged Fic or the shen yuan transmigrats into YQY fic.

i also really loved the two YQY and Zhúzhī Láng adventure snippets u posted🩷🩵

ahh thank you so much!!! ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ

theres another bit of this fic here with a description, but here's a later scene! this fic is everything to me yall are making me so excited to finish it

"You're Shen Qingqiu." The boy exclaimed, eyes wide. "How do you know that name?" "Wow, you look just like I imagined! Haha… ha." His laughter trailed off and he lifted a hand to thread into his shorn hair and tugged tightly. His voice took on a sharp quaver. "That's it, I've really gone insane, huh?" Shen Qingqiu turned to Mu Qingfang. "How could he know that? Shang Qinghua was older than I was when I joined the sect. I wasn't named Qingqiu until years later." Mu Qingfang knelt by the side of the bed. He had a way of making himself softer, nonthreatening, that annoyed Shen Qingqiu both for the saccharin quality of the affectation and, privately, his own inability to immitate it. One might catch more flies with honey, but Shen Qingqiu has only ever had vinegar in his arsenal. The young Shang Qinghua didn't seem comforted by it, and leaned away warily as Mu Qingfang settled next to him. "Do you know where you are, Shang-gongzi?" he asked. The young Shang Qinghua swallowed. "If he's supposed to be Shen Qingqiu, then this is Cang Qiong Mountain, huh?" The doctor nodded. "Yes, that's good. You remember entering the sect then?" "Entering the—no! What is this, some—some isekai shit? Into my ideas? This—this isn't real. I'm hallucinating." "You know who we are and where you are, what makes you feel it must be a dream?" "This isn't real. You're not real, Cang Qiong isn't—Shen Qingqiu isn't real. He's just a character I thought of, I haven't even written it down yet." "A… character?" "Yeah, you know." The boy bunched his hands up in the thin blanket and looked down at his lap. They were trembling. "Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qi, Yue Qingyuan. Two slave boys who are seperate when they're children, and fight their way back together at Cang Qiong mountain and become top cultivators. But there's like, you know, drama and stuff."

#welcome to my 'sqh wrote qijiu's plot first' agenda #svsss #this project needs a name... #qijiu #shang qinghua #shen qingqiu #mu qingfang #scum villain #scum villain's self saving system #svsss fic #scum villain fanfic #sqh #mqf #sqq #sj #burywrites.pdf #askbox #buryspeaks.mp3

[tsukishimass]

i'm reading the extras in svsss and oh my god yue qingyuan and shen jiu are the literal epitome of doomed by the narrative. they are the most tragic pair; i mean, they were soulmates but they couldn't last in the original story or the new one because of the plot and the system 😭😭😭😭 i don't even know anymore jsifjejfjjwjx they're my fav couple now 😭😭😭😭

#scum villian self saving system #svsss #YQY #SJ #SQQ #Yue Qingyuan #Shen Jiu #shen qingqiu #tragic pairs #DOOMED BY THE NARRATIVE #FUCK YOU AIRPLANE SHOOTING TOWARDS THE SKY #I'M ACTUALLY CRYING OVER THEM NOW #THEY DESERVED SM BETTER 😭😭😭😭 #pls someone rec ao3 fics of them living a happy life together huhuhu

[radaverse]

While watching SJ I noticed something totally hard to notice

JACK IS EXTREMELY LONELY

HE HAS LIKE 1 ACTUAL CLOSE FRIEND (Scotsman) AND BRO MAKES LIKE 4 APPEARANCES IN THE WHOLE SHOW 😭

So I said NUH UH and threw a child at him

what do you think about that

Samurai Jack: Paws of Magic AU

AU on the works!

Synopsis: Jack shelters an abandoned magic child. Now he has to face a task harder than most of his battles as a warrior: being a father.

Here is the child! Mai the tiny chinchilla warrior.

And references!

Now Jack is not so lonely 💖

#samurai jack #SJ #samurai jack art #samurai jack oc #samurai jack au #paws of magic #PoM #SJ PoM #(funny how we have ToM and PoM 💀) #mai #mai the chinchilla #SJ mai #SJ jack #art #oc #ocs #foolish samurai #hope you like this silly idea of mine #writing a fic for this #tried my best to adapt to the show's style #I gotta practice this #true radaverse™ fans know mai's og design used to be my personal oc. but there was someone who needed her more than me 🫡❤️ #samurai at day. dad at night #jackposting #radaverse

[skijumpingf1]

A roller-coaster weekend (D.Prevc X D.Tande)

So last weekend after Domens win someone (sadly I don´t know who) pointed out that it is sad that Daniel wasn´t in Sapporo to witness Domen’s win. I kinda got inspired by that and started to write something. It was supposed to be a fun cute one shot about Domiel celebrating Domens win the long-distance way but apparently, I’m not good a writing fun stuff so it’s a tiny bit heavier than anticipated but well. The whole Alex situation is mentioned but I tried to keep it vague to not speculate too much. At first, I didn’t think I would post it, since it’s the first time I would share something that I wrote (It’s also the first time writing in English and the first time writing Domiel. So a lot of firsts). But I’m always happy when someone shares their work so here you go.

Wordcount: 4899

------------‐-----------------------------------------

Friday

“Why am I hearing about your revolution from gossip?”, is the first thing that leaves my mouth when my boyfriend finally picks up the phone. It was my third try of reaching him. To his defence it is currently 5.30 am in Norway. So honestly, he shouldn’t be answering the phone, but he does. It brings out a little smile on my face. “Good morning to you too, Domen.”, answers Daniel with his raspy morning voice. I miss hearing it in person. I miss waking up next to him and wake him up with a lazy kiss. Hopefully he will be in Oberstdorf next week. It has been too long since we saw each other. “It’s already afternoon here.” I could practically see his eye roll through the telephone.

The Slovenian cabin is empty here at the hill in Sapporo. My first teammates are on the way up the hill and everyone who jumps after me is still outside warming up. I probably should be out there too but the gossip on the hill was more important. At least today. So, I’m sitting on the slim bench and lean against the heater. Robert, my trainer, can’t be mad when he finds me here cause I’m doing a bit of stretching. At least a bit. But I really need to speak with Daniel about the things I heard. So, no good warm up for me today. This is more important. “I heard it from the Germans, Danny. So, what is going on with your team? Is it true?” Philipp Raimund and Andreas Wellinger were practically begging me to give them insides of the drama in team Norway. But I didn’t have an answer for them because my boyfriend forgot to tell me the big news. Or choose to not tell me. There is a sigh on the others side of the line. “To be honest, I don’t know what to think about it. I can’t even articulate what I’m felling right now.”, speaks Daniel after a short period of quiet. My hand glides through my hair. “It’s really true? You want to get rid of Alex?” “That’s sounds like we want to kill him. We just think our team would function better without him.” Something in his voice and the fact that he didn’t tell me about it, tells me there is more to this story.

Daniel and I, we are together since over four years. I know him. That’s why I keep asking. Sometimes he holds to himself. You would think that would be my part, but I tend to overshare. At least with him. “But you don’t agree?” There is a bit noise in the background. He is probably standing up to go around in circles in his little flat like always does. I can picture it in my head. Daniel running his hand through his beautiful blond hair, pacing around to get rid of the emotions that comes with phone calls like this. “You know I have experience with revolutions against trainers. Rember the ski flying world champions in Planica.” The Japanese sun is shining in the little cabin, and I am praying that the other guys will be out there a bit longer so that we can finish this conversation. I lean my head against the blank wall. “It’s not that I don’t agree. There are valid points why Alex isn’t the right trainer for us. But its complicated.” “He has been your trainer since when? Since you have been in world cup? Of course, it’s complicated.” Alex always seemed close with his jumpers. Daniel praised him so often. I don’t know what caused this fall out. Maybe just the bad results. Maybe something major that he can’t share with me. We are still on different teams, and it could be something regarding his teammates so I can understand why he isn’t telling me. I wish I could be there, or he could be here. Even through his voice I can hear that he needs a hug. Maybe I should call his mom up to go check on him. “He is such big part of my life. If he is really going to leave it feels like I´m losing a third parent.” “Oh Danny.”, was the only thing I could say. “Did you agree with Timi when he pulled that thing?” I exhale loudly. “Partly. But definitely not the way he did it. That was just cruel and bad for all of us. But its not really comparable. Alex has been in your life forever. Have you talked about it with the other guys? Or maybe with Anders or Kenneth?” Outside of the cabin I can start to hear voices. Probably my teammates who played volleyball. My gaze falls on my watch. I should get going soon or I will miss the first jump. “Not really. I agree with them for the most parts so what am I supposed to say?” “Your also part of the team. Your opinion matters as much as the opinion form the others. I´m sorry love, but I really have to get going. Maybe it would really help if you speak to Anders. He knows the team but can give you a bit of a neutral view.” In the middle of my sentence the door of the cabin opens, and my brother enters the room followed by Lovro and Timi. Peter is raising his eyebrow at me. An unspoken question why I am not ready. With my free hand I gesture towards the phone and hope the boys will stay quiet. “Good luck for quali, kjekken. I love you. “„I love you too.” The phone call ends, and I’m absolutely not satisfied with it. I hate that I can’t be there for him and hold him. I hate that there are currently what feels like million kilometres between us. “Yes Pero. I know that I’m late. I’m hurrying up now.”, I say before my older brother opens his mouth. Peter is still nervous when it comes to me being in World cup. As if I didn’t know the rules around here. Even though I have been a part of this circus since I was 16. While I change in my ski jumping suit the boys exchange a knowing look. “So, it’s true, what they tell about team Norway?” Timi was the brave one to ask the question they all had. “Apparently. But I don’t know much more than you do.” A last check through my bag than I went my way up the hill to do the thing I love most in the world.

Saturday

I press my lips together and look at the big screen. 122 meters. Not enough to really help me get a better position than somewhere around place 20. Sometimes this sport could be harsh. After yesterday and even the trial round I was quite hopeful for a good result, a great even if I dared to dream. Sadly, the wind had other ideas. So, I step out of the outrun with my big skies in my hands. The sun is already setting behind the mountains and it’s getting a bit dark. I don’t know if I should feel tired or not. After the US leg and now Japan my inner clock is not working at all. Always tired but not really tired enough to fully get a night full of sleep. My teammates greet me in the outrun, and someone takes my skier. “Tomorrow will be our day.”, says Timi and winks at me. “Let’s hope for good headwind.”, was my dry response. The worst thing now is that I have to wait around the exit gate because my brother was sixth after the first round. It’s not that I don’t want to be there for him but seeing everyone jump better than me still hurts after eight years in world cup. But if it didn’t bother me, I should probably retire. I slip out of my suit and change into my training clothes. As soon as I’m done, I grab my phone from my backpack. A message from Daniel was already waiting for me. Come on Domen, just because there is no headwind doesn’t mean you have to jump that shitty. A small smile builds itself on my face. Daniel always knows how to cheer me up. Well, I was kind off expecting it so … Jumper after jumper came down the hill until we reach the top 10. Lovro who is standing next to me is also on his phone. “Dude, the story in Norway is getting out of hand. Stöckel didn’t know anything about that shit. He was completely blindsided.” By the way he raises his eyebrow I know that he asked me a question with that statement. Sometimes I regretted telling people about our relationship. Especially when someone uses that connection to get information that are not supposed to be for them. Normally I´m glad we were no longer part of a big hide and seek game. Sneaking around is just fun at the beginning but at some point, it’s just annoying. The public still doesn’t know, and we are not planning on chancing that in the near future. But the other jumpers knew to an extent. We are not running around holding hands in the village, but we tend to stick together. So, the rumour spread, and we just went with flow. Our teammates were obviously a bit more informed. If not, we wouldn’t be able to spend as much time with each other as we did. But we try to keep it is much to ourselves as possible. “No comment?”, askes Zak. “No comment.” With that I step a few steps closer to the outrun. Peter is next jumper. I look up the hill and wait for the signal so that Pero can finally jump down that damn hill. “Gosh today your way grumpier then normal. It’s time for Daniel to return.” Timi is grinning towards me. “With that I agree.” The team for Oberstdorf wasn’t finalized but I doubt that Daniel would miss ski flying. Finally, Peters is letting loose and jumps. Right at the beginning I can see that that jump won’t do it and press my lips together ones more. “Well at least we can get going now.”

I more than thankful that Lovro, with who I’m rooming this weekend, left to play a round of cards with the other boys or maybe jumpers from a different nation. Honestly, I didn’t really paid attention to what he was telling me. As fast as I can, I fix my hair. Then I´m pressing the facetime button on my phone and Daniels face appears on my screen. “Hi.” I probably sound a bit breathless, but I don’t really care. Daniel still takes my breath away. Even after four years of being with him and close to a decade of knowing him. Even on my tiny screen. His blonde hair is a bit messy, the way I like it the most, and a bright smile was on his face. “Hi you. I missed seeing your face.” “I missed seeing yours more.”

I lay back on the bed and cuddle myself under the blanket. “Oh, that kind off face time call.”, smirks my boyfriend. A small giggle escapes my mouth. “I wish but I don’t know when Lovro is coming back.” Daniels face forms a grimace. “Then back to the good old talking. How was the comp? The jumps didn’t look too bad.” A deep sigh comes from me. I roll onto my side in the small hotel bed. This hotel room was more on the depressing side. Grey walls, no good art and the floor was carpet that definitely has seen its prime. “Normally a 19th place is alright, but I like the hill and I know that I can do better here so that’s why it’s a bit frustrating. But tomorrow …” “Tomorrow is headwind so I´m expecting more from you.” Daniel raises his eyebrows and looks me death in the eye. He can’t hold his composure for long and he burst out laughing. My favourite noise in the world. “I will try a podium just for you.” “You know that just wins turn me on.”, he winks at me. I nod sarcastically. “Then we should probably break up. I haven’t won in ages.” Daniels laugh increases and his hair falls in his face. What would I give to be able to push it back now. Seeing him so happy opens up my heart. “For me team wins count as well, so you are good.” I cuddle myself deeper in my bed and switch the hand that’s holding my phone to warm it a bit under the blanket.

Outside its pitch black dark and my eyes are slowly getting heavy. The small light next to me is doing barely enough to keep me in enough light for the facetime call. But we are not even at the point where I want this conversation going. That why keep my eyes open and push the sleep away. “How generous. Then I suppose we can stay together.” Daniel is sitting on his couch, the phone between his knees so he has the hands free to eat a bowl of cereal. He looks happy but I can see that something is bothering him. “Have you talked to someone about the Alex situation?” I am probably silly to shift the easy conversation to a heavy topic when we haven’t had time to properly speak to each other since last week. But he needs to talk and for reasons I still don’t fully understand I’m his favourite person to talk to. “I called Johann and said that we probably should have talked about it with Alex first before sending a letter to him and the federation. I mean we did it before, its not like he doesn’t know something is up, but we should have tried to tell him how serious we are. Alex wants to talk to us when the others are back from Japan. So, we will see how that goes but honestly the damage is done. Alex can´t take the things he did back, and we can’t unsent that letter.” Those situations are always a bit uncomfortable to say the least. I experienced it as well. The relationship between a trainer and an athlete is one of the closest you can experience. There needs to be a level of trust and understanding between them for it to work. Its strange when the dynamic changes. I can´t even imagine how hard when its with a trainer like Alex who has been through thick and thin with his athletes, especially Daniel. Alex was so supportive after Dannys fall and everything else that happened.

“I´m so sorry, Love. I know he means a lot to you. But just because he maybe won’t be your trainer anymore doesn’t mean he won’t be in your life. If you want to you can still be close to him.” Daniels is quiet for a few moments. Chewing on a bit of cereal and looking at the distance. Maybe I should ask Rob if I can fly to Norway instead of Slovenia. It wouldn’t be there first time that Daniel or I flew back home with the opposite team. After some long conversation Robert and I agreed that Daniel can train with us when he is with me, and Alex and Daniel have the same agreement. Honestly a fresh perspective helped me with my jumping once or twice which was a nice benefit. But as much as I want to it would not be right. My presence would be even more a hustle for Daniels Team and also, I want to enjoy training with a brother as long as I can. Daniels gaze focuses on the screen again. “I will think about it, when its final. Right now, I can’t do anything so why stress about it. Now its your turn. How are you doing?” I chuckle. That’s so typical Daniel. “I’m fine. Just a bit worried about you.” Daniel is shaking his head. He places his bowl on the couch table and takes his phone in his hands again. Now I can see his beautiful face even better. My gaze falls onto his full lips. Again I´m condemning the distance between us. “No. We talked enough about me. Now it´s your turn. Have you made peace with Peters retirement?” I groan. Not that topic again. Everyone wants to talk to me about the retirement from my eldest brother. Trainer, Teammates, other colleges, the press and Daniel. It´s being too much so I rather not talk about it anymore. I told Daniel right after Peter told me. I needed to talk about it then. It’s strange that I’m suddenly alone in world cup. Long time I wished for it to be honest. Peter is constantly watching over me but now that he is leaving it fells strange. Cenes departure from world cup was a hard hit and now that I´m going to be completely without them is just strange. Somehow, I always pictured my brothers in world cup with me forever. I probably need more than two weeks to shake that feeling off. “I promise I talk to you about when I need it. Right now, I am just annoyed with that topic. And you will talk to me about Alex when you need it. Deal?” “Okay we have a deal.”

Sunday

You are still leading! That message arrived when I made my way into the Slovenian cabin where nobody is. Timi is probably somewhere fuming after his disqualification so I’m glad that I don’t have to bother with that right now. I type: I know. Crazy but the best aren’t down yet. It’s the truth. The best three were still up there. But regardless it was a great jump and a great result after the first round. Secretly I am hoping that there will be a spontaneous storm so that we can cancel second round. I don’t know if I can deliver a second jump on that level anyways. I´m still to inconsistent. I put my back on the bench and quickly scan through it if I have everything. My telephone rings and I know who is on the other side before I even look at it. “You’re not inconstant on this hill with headwind. Stopp being a pessimist and start being a realist.” “I am realistic! But I told you I´m aiming for a podium for you so you bet I do everything I can.” I hear a loud cheer from Daniel, and I don’t know what it means. In the cabin there was no tv so I couldn’t watch the rest of the competition. Normally an assistant of Robert or Robert himself would be here soon to talk about adjustments. He would tell me where I finished so I can prepare and be in time. “Nobody should be that cheerful at three a.m.”, I say and sit on the bench. Peter should be here any minute. Before that I should end the call, or I can get a lecture about concentration. Especially today. “Its just that my boyfriend is first after the first round. That’s something I want to cheer about.” I open my mouth and close it again. “Really?” “Stefan is sixth, Ryoyu is fourth and Andi jumped pretty badly. Ah I´m so excited to see your top 10 video.” Oh my gosh. I am leading. When was the last time I lead after first round? “Well, that is a bit unexpected.” “Oh, come on. Your form is getting better and better, and you love the hill. Have a bit of confidence.”, is Daniel hyping me up. The door of the cabin opens, and a smiling Peter enters, followed by Robert. “I need to go, love you.” “I promise. You have got this. I believe in you.” With that the phone call is ending. Peter comes up to me and gives me a big hug. “You’re leading!” “I know, Pero. It’s just the first round.” He pats me on the back before he lets me go. My brother is still smiling like a maniac. The retirement made him so much more emotional. “That was a very good jump, Domen. Honestly no real adjustments are necessary.”, nods my trainer. I rather had a little mistake I could fix to concentrate on. “Can I do a few simulations? I have to much time left.” Peros raises his eyebrow. Even Rob looks a bit concerned. “Is everything alright?” “Yeah, but there still is a second jump. I won’t celebrate anything before I’m not down that hill twice.”

It’s strange to have that much time between the rounds. I am not really at the front of the field. I jumped twenty minutes earlier than the best. The FIS calculates that the best have enough time to get up the hill again even if they place badly. It’s a long wait. And one thing about me is that I hate waiting. The first time ever I am early on my way up the hill. Some other athletes are congratulating me which is just silly because I could still end up being last. Well 30th. Not dead ass last but still. My phone buzzes. Normally I wouldn’t check in the middle of comps, but I hoped that message was form Danny. I honestly need more of his reassurance. As a professional athlete I should be able to deal with this situation alone. I could but with him it was so much easier. As is everything else. I trust in you, kjekken. You got this! I know it’s hard but don’t think about it too much. It’s just another jump. I am instantly a bit calmer when I step into the small elevator that brings one up to the waiting room. It’s a beautiful day outside. Sunny and barely any wind. Better conditions don’t exist. I start typing when I hear a scream. “Can you hold that?” I look up from the screen and see a rushed Lovro, who was fifth after first round. With a reached arm I hold the door open so that my teammate can get in the lift with me. “Why are you so early? I thought we could go together.” I shrug. “I was done with everything and waiting up there is more relaxing than in the cabin.” Lovro looks me up and down. He gazes lays on the phone in my hand with which I´m tapping against my leg. My teammate is not the best when it comes to social interactions. Not that I am better. Lovro and I are on a similar level. I raise an eyebrow because I know he wants to say something but doesn’t know what. Until he figures it out, I reply to Daniel. I will try to win for you, babe. Apparently, it turns you on. “Don’t be too nervous. It is just another competition.”, is the comment my teammate came up with. “I´m working on it.” The elevator is finally at the top and we step into the waiting area. A bunch off other guys are there and it brings me a bit of comfort that I´m not practically alone up here.

I step outside directly behind Kristoffer, who is second after the first round. It was weird enough being in that room with him alone. Alone in there and I would probably get flashbacks form when I was 17. I take a deep breath and try to focus on the jump. The way down to the gate takes longer than I remembered. It takes ages for me to get to the gate. Daniel comes to my mind while I wait until it’s my turn. I still remember the number of times we stood up here together. It feels like an eternity away. So much has happened in between then and today. We fell in love, and he is now the most important person in my life. I trust him with my whole heart, and he believes that I can do it. So, I believe it too. I want to win this. For me. For him. Therefore, I sit on that gate with determination. And with that determination I’m letting loose and just jump. My first reaction after the landing was relive. I didn’t mess it up. It was as good as I could bring it today. If someone else is better than so be. I did everything right. That thought brings an even brighter smile to my face. It took me years to get to this point.

With a big smile on my face, I break as best as I could and stop next to my brother in the outrun of the hill. “I think its enough.”, he says. It was close with the green line, but my landing was pretty good. The better grades could decide between first and second today. I open my bindings and take my skis in my hand. FIS is making it exciting with the blue bar but when it moves fast, I know that I won. “Fuck yes!” I raise my skier in the sky and start to laugh. My teammates are all cheering for me. “Good job, Domci.” My brother pats me on the back, and I start to beam. I really just did that. I won again. After nearly five years I finally won again. And I hate to admit it, it was nice that my brother was still here to witness it.

As soon as I go through the exit gate a bunch of people are around me to congratulate but I just want to get to my phone. I quickly thank everyone and get to my bag as soon as possible. While I change, I simultaneously open my phone. There are already a dozen messages but just one is important. See I told you, you could do it. But honestly, I’m so proud of you. You absolutely deserve this. I don’t have time to reply properly. The first little podium ceremony is happening soon. That’s why I just sent a heart. Daniel will get it and the first thing I will do when I’m back in the hotel is call him.

 Ryoyu, who ended up being second, comes up to me. “How does it feel to be back on top?” “I haven’t even realized it.” It takes it time to fully understand situations like this. In 2019 I understood the meaning of my victory after a few days. Obviously, it was different when I was 17 because everything is so much easier when your 17 and not thinking much. My colleague laughs. “Enjoy it. But don’t wait another five years for your next win.” “Next week is ski flying. A week sounds better.” I grin at him. Then our names are called, and we get into the inrun.

 I forgot how long it takes when you win. Waiting for the podium, dozens of interviews, people that want to congratulate you. It all takes so much longer than I remember. Or maybe I´m just more eager to get back to the hotel to make a phone call. On the way to the hotel, I try to answer a few messages. Nika is the first person I reply to. We joked a bit around that I´m now chasing her seven wins. Then there is Cene who is apparently a bit sad that he couldn’t be here to see me win. His fault. He wanted to end his career early.

Finally, we pulled up to the hotel. We won’t stay long here though. The flight back home is departing in five hours. I look at Lovro who is sitting in front of me. “Hey man. How far are you with packing?” He turns around and smirks. “No worries. I´ll give you a bit of privacy but not more than half an hour.” I nod and mutter a thanks before I hope out of the van. I gather my things and practically sprint into the hotel. The people in the lobby give my funny looks but I don’t care. As soon as I´m in my room I call my boyfriend who picks up instantly. As if he has been waiting for my call. “You did it! You fucking did it!”, Daniel cheers and I chuckle. I run my hand through my hair and shake my head. With a few steps I´m sitting on my bed. “Said I would win for you.” It was a cocky response but after today I was definitely allowed to be a bit cocky. “I never doubted you.” My smile widens. “You helped me win it. Before the jump I held myself together because I knew that you believe in me.” “Domen that was all you. You jumped that good. I just gave moral support.” I roll my eyes because that is a typical Daniel response. It would be so much better if he was here. Since I have been down the hill, all I wanted to do is get a hug from him. I would give everything to share this moment with him. “We will definitely celebrate this when we see each other again.”, says Daniel as if he read my thoughts. “I can’t wait for it.”

#ski jumping #domen prevc #daniel andre tande #domiel #sj fic #i hope you like it #maybe ill write more #i kinda got into a flow

[wie-sagt-man-noch]

Lellinger: The way I love you - Part 10 /10

Masterpost | AO3 | FF | Prev

With a soft sigh. Past exhaustion and frustration and despair, like it’s the only good thing left. Sometimes it is.| 1.1k

April 2020, Weißbach

Der Himmel über seiner Heimat ist strahlend blau. Die Sonne scheint, der Wind gleicht einer lauen Brise – für April ist es ungewöhnlich warm. Der Garten seines Elternhauses erstreckt sich vor ihm, gepflegt sieht er aus. Die ländliche Idylle wird von Vogelgezwitscher begleitet, während Andreas auf dem hölzernen Balkon sitzt und missmutig die Augen schließt. Eigentlich sollte er die Ruhe und das gute Wetter genießen – unter normalen Umständen würde er das vermutlich auch tun. Von der gewohnten Normalität ist derzeit allerdings nicht mehr viel übrig, auch wenn die malerische Szenerie, in der er sich befindet, etwas anderes vermuten lässt.

Die Welt befindet sich seit einigen Wochen in einem Ausnahmezustand, Corona hat die Nachrichten und das Leben aller fest im Griff. Das Virus grassiert und hat alles bis dato Gekannte auf den Kopf gestellt. Kontaktbeschränkungen, überfüllte Krankenhäuser, leere Straßen – nichts ist mehr so, wie es vorher war. Er selbst wäre beinahe nicht mehr zurück nach Deutschland gekommen, als er seine Schwester im März in Australien besucht hat. Die Zeit dort war wunderschön und unbeschwert – zum ersten Mal seit langer Zeit hatte er dort das Gefühl, endlich wieder im Moment zu leben. Er konnte abschalten und seine eigene Verletzungsmisere des vergangenen Jahres ausblenden.

Zumindest so lange, bis Stephan Anfang März gestürzt ist und sich ebenfalls sein Kreuzband gerissen hat. Die Nachricht hat ihn jäh auf den Boden der Tatsachen zurückgeholt. Er hat seinen Freund umgehend angerufen und war bereits dabei, seinen Rückflug vorzuverlegen, aber Stephan hat darauf bestanden, dass er in Down Under bleibt. So entspannt wie die letzten Tage hab’ ich dich lang nicht mehr gesehen, bleib'. Bitte. Dabei hat er ihn fast schon flehend angesehen, als sie gefacetimed haben. Hier kannst du eh nichts machen, bleib' so lang wie geplant – ich lauf' nicht weg hat er gesagt und Andreas musste tatsächlich schmunzeln. Andreas ist geblieben, auch wenn zu diesem Zeitpunkt bereits die ersten Reisewarnungen wegen des Coronavirus ausgesprochen wurden.

Ernst genommen hat er sie nicht, wie so viele andere auch. Was soll schon passieren, hat er zu seiner Schwester bei einem gemeinsamen Abendessen gesagt. Sie sehen sich ohnehin viel zu selten, seit Julia in Australien lebt. Er hat die nächsten zwei Wochen mit ihr mehr als genossen, die neu gewonnene Leichtigkeit hat ihm unfassbar gutgetan.

Vermutlich hätte er dennoch abreisen sollen, aber später ist man immer klüger, heißt es. Im Nachhinein betrachtet ist es auch nicht sonderlich klug gewesen, bei stärkerem Wellengang surfen zu gehen. Andreas hat es trotzdem getan und dafür die Quittung bekommen. Eine Welle hat ihn unvorbereitet erwischt und ihn von seinem Bord geworfen - dabei ist unglücklich mit seinem Schlüsselbein auf dem Bord aufgeprallt und hat es sich prompt gebrochen. Der heiße Schmerz hat ihm im ersten Moment den Atem geraubt, dann war er auch schon unter Wasser. Zum Glück war er bereits relativ nah am Strand, sodass er sich schnell aus dem Wasser begeben konnte – aber ihm ist in diesem Moment klar geworden, dass die Verletzung ernst sein muss.

Stunden später ist er bereits operiert worden. Als er später aus der Narkose wach geworden ist, war ihm zum Heulen zumute. Wieder ein Rückschlag, dabei wollte er diesen Sommer doch endlich wieder voll ins Mannschaftstraining einsteigen. Wieder Schmerzen, wieder Reha, alles wieder von vorne. Dazu noch Stephan, der ihn dieses Mal nicht mit seinem unerschütterlichen Glauben unterstützen können wird, weil der seinen ganz eigenen Leidensweg vor sich hat.

Hinzu kam, dass sein geplanter Rückflug wegen des Virus annulliert wurde und er deswegen beinahe nicht hatte ausreisen können. Ja, Andreas hätte seinem ersten Impuls nachgeben sollen. Dann würde er jetzt nicht mit geschientem Arm bei seinen Eltern auf dem Balkon sitzen, sondern fit bei Stephan sein und zur Abwechslung mal für ihn da sein können. Hätte ihm im Alltag helfen können, weil er weiß, was Stephan gerade durchmacht und an welcher Stelle er ihm das Leben leichter machen kann. Er hätte ihm Tag für Tag sagen können, dass er an ihn glaubt und dass das alles wieder wird, hätte Stephans Launen ausgehalten und ihm gezeigt, dass er sich auf ihn verlassen kann. Dass er ihn liebt – in guten wie in schlechten Zeiten, egal wie kitschig sich das anhört.

Andreas hätte so vieles tun können, aber die Realität sieht anders aus. In ihr hat er jedes Mal starke Schmerzen, wenn er seine rechte Schulter nur leicht bewegt und Stephan hat er seit über einem Monat nicht mehr persönlich gesehen – Andreas fühlt sich schlicht und ergreifend miserabel. Er ist erschöpft, kann nachts kaum schlafen, weil seine Schulter dumpf pocht und seine Gedanken rasen. Seine Laune ist unfassbar schlecht, er spricht mit seinen Eltern häufig nur das Nötigste, obwohl sie die Letzten sind, an denen er seinen Frust herauslassen sollte. Andreas weiß, wie privilegiert er eigentlich ist. Seine Eltern kümmern sich liebevoll um ihn – er ist nicht allein wie so viele andere Menschen in der aktuellen Situation. Er weiß das alles, aber es ändert nichts daran, dass er unglaublich enttäuscht und wütend ist. Auf sich selbst am meisten, was ihn nur noch frustrierter werden lässt. Dazu kommt, dass er Stephan wahnsinnig vermisst und ihm gegenüber ein unglaublich schlechtes Gewissen hat. Der wiederum hat ihm vorhin am Telefon gesagt, dass er das nicht haben muss, Unfälle passieren, Andi, und war wie immer unglaublich verständnisvoll.

Sie telefonieren oder facetimen täglich und Andreas ist unfassbar froh über diese Routine. Manchmal witzelt Stephan darüber, dass sie ab nächstem Jahr das Kreuzbandzimmer sein werden. Er plant voraus, glaubt an sie beide und lächelt wissend in die Kamera, wenn er davon spricht. Ohne Stephan würde er durchdrehen, da ist Andreas sich sicher. Andreas bewundert ihn für seine Stärke, seine Ruhe und seine Zuversicht – vorhin hat er ihm genau das auch gesagt. Stephan ist ein wenig rot geworden, während sich ein Strahlen auf sein Gesicht gelegt hat. Bei dem Anblick hat sich eine bekannte, wohlige Wärme in Andreas' Bauch ausgebreitet, während sein Herz etwas schneller geschlagen hat. Das leise geseufzte Ich liebe dich konnte und wollte er nicht zurückhalten, weil er es genau in diesem Moment überdeutlich gespürt hat. Ich liebe dich auch hat Stephan ohne zu zögern geantwortet, bevor sie sich kurz darauf voneinander verabschiedet haben.

Inzwischen hat sich ein leichtes Lächeln auf Andreas' Lippen gebildet. Er öffnet die Augen, blinzelt der Sonne entgegen, atmet tief ein und wieder aus. Zwischen all dem Frust glimmt zum ersten Mal seit seiner erneuten Verletzung ein wenig Zuversicht. Wenn alles um ihn herum zusammenbricht, nichts mehr so ist, wie es war, und alles schief zu laufen scheint, dann ist da immer noch Stephan. Stephan, den er liebt und der genau dasselbe für ihn fühlt.

Wenn das am Ende bleibt, ist alles mehr als okay.

#lellinger #ski jumping #sj fic #lellinger fic #andreas wellinger #stephan leyhe #twily #my writing

[10thmusemoon]

WIP Wednesday

Leading the poll was If you can't keep your own soulmate, stolen is fine.

In this fic, it's a completely normal peak lord meeting that is interrupted by a hole in reality ripping open and spitting out a limbless Shen Qingqiu(SJ). The SQQ of this world immediately goes to kill the doppelgänger only to be stopped by MQF and YQY who insist on healing the man and interrogating him for information.

When he wakes, SJ conducts his own intense interrogation to see if this is truly CQMS, the whole while his eyes keep shifting back to YQY. Both parties end up confirming that everyone is who they say they are and now suddenly there are two SQQ's on CQMS. And aside from the missing limbs, the other SQQ is notable for insisting that he's Yue-furen in his world.*

So now YQY has to deal with two SQQ's that want to kill each other, one of which is shameless about being all over him in public but rather shy in his affections in private, and the other that is suddenly on the verge of a qi deviation at all times.

SQQ of this world is drowning in vinegar and also plotting murder every time he hears the imposter call out for "Qi-ge." The metaphorical bricks are ready in his purse and he will not hesitate to attack a man that cannot defend himself for trying to take something that doesn't belong to him.

YQY gets to spoil and care for a XJ that wants him around, that miraculously shares their past and looks at him like he means something.

(*he was never yue-furen, pidw yqy still died, but he saw an opportunity to finally have what was always his and took it)

#qijiu #10thmusemoon fics #yue qingyuan #shen jiu #svsss #shen qingqiu #79 #The 979 fic #yqy is just a chew toy for shen jius #and he wouldn't have it any other way #don't misunderstand yqy is just delighted to have two SJ's but they each are blind to that #shen qingqiu does get his happy ending here

[svsssiperfixationdump]

Art from fic "Not so lonely after all"

Shen sibling's first sleepover (o´▽`o)

#mxtx svsss #original shen qingqiu #shen jiu #shen qingqiu #shen brothers #shen yuan #artwork #au #fic art #my fic #scumbag self saving system #scum villian self saving system #scumbag system #svsss fanart #svsss #svsss au #svsss fanfiction #I just noticed I switched sj's feet on the other foot #fixed

[booksanxietyandsports]

Stephan Leyhe/Andreas Wellinger - "Quiet of the night." (fic)

well well well. what do we have here.

right after welle won the first four hills comp in oberstdorf this season i wrote like a thousand words, then completely forgot about it. i just discovered it again and in a lovely case of hyperfixation wrote the rest of it in about an hour, so do with that what you will. better late than never, right?

so as for the timeline, this takes place after andi won the first comp of the 23/24 four hills tournament. for the sake of plot they’re not roommates in this (although we all know they always share, but let’s just pretend they all got single rooms for the tour). even though it’s a rather quick and short one at 2.2k, i hope you guys enjoy it. as always, i’d love to know what you think and appreciate any kind of feedback <3

Knock Knock. 

Stephan turns over in his bed towards the door, sheets tangling with his legs. The room is pitch black when he blinks sleepily, eyes protesting the unscheduled awakening. There’s someone knocking at his door, which isn’t an uncommon occurrence in the team hotel during the tour because someone always wants something, except it’s two at night and they only went to bed like two and a half hours ago. Stephan‘s brain is still muddled with sleep after the adrenaline crash that inevitably always follows a competition, especially one as electrifying as yesterday‘s. So, what on earth-

There‘s a third knock and Stephan squints at the door as someone gently pushes it open, causing a sliver of light from the hallway to spill into the darkness of his room. He can barely make out a silhouette when there‘s a whisper- “Stephan? Are you awake?”

Andreas.

Stephan sits up abruptly, every last trace of sleep gone. “Yeah,” he whispers back, which isn’t true at all given that Andi quite literally just woke him up but he’d rather fling himself off a hill than tell the younger that. It’s not like he minds, anyway, he’s got an open ear for all of his teammates, although maybe it’s a bit different where Andi is concerned. Stephan tries not to think about it.

Andi tiptoes into the room and closes the door behind him. Darkness falls back around them and for a long moment neither of them moves. Stephan looks in Andi’s general direction and waits for him to offer some kind of explanation, to start talking the way he always does without paying any mind to time, company or circumstances. After a full minute goes by without a sound Stephan starts to grow increasingly concerned. “Andi?,” he prompts gently, eyes searching the darkness for any kind of movement. 

“Yeah, uh, sorry. I shouldn’t have woken you up, it’s late, we’ve got training today and it’s stupid anyways, I’ll just-“ 

“Don’t you dare open that door, Andreas. It’s the middle of the night, what’s wrong?” Stephan hears Andi shift on his feet followed by the faint click of the door handle being released. The silence returns as the questions hangs between them, unanswered. Despite the odd situation, Stephan smiles quietly to himself.

“Stop biting your lip, Andi. It’s gonna be all raw and red on camera tomorrow.”

He hears Andi sputter over where he’s still standing by the goddamn door. “I’m not! It’s pitch-black in here, Stephan, you can’t even see me! How would you know that?”

Because I spend most of my time watching you. Because I could paint your face in a thousand different ways if I had just an ounce of talent. 

“Because you always bite your lips bloody when something’s bothering you. Now come on over here and tell me what’s wrong, please.” Stephan sits up straighter as he hears Andi shuffle through the room, leaning against the headboard. The mattress dips beneath him as Andi sits down on the edge of the bed next to his stretched-out legs, which isn’t as close as Stephan would like him, but it’s better than the other side of the room.

He figures this is the moment they should turn on the lamp on his bedside table since they still can’t fucking see, but something about Andi’s behaviour stops him. This isn’t like the younger at all; to be so caught up in his thoughts and feelings that it drives him out of bed in the middle of the night. Maybe it’s got something to do with how young Andi was when he started into the whole world cup circus, but Stephan has always admired how good his teammate seemed to be at compartmentalizing. One problem after the other, brain turned off periodically to rest, then switched back on to work out the issues at maximum capacity and all of that with endless optimism and a quick smile. 

So yeah, the more Stephan thinks about it, the more alarming he finds this entire situation. The least he can do is offer Andi the courtesy of keeping the lights off.

Not that it helps much. He can feel the tension in Andi’s body, every muscle coiled as if he’s preparing to make another jump from the hill. Stephan bends his knees a little, tucking them closer to his body in a silent offer for Andi to lean against them. He takes a deep breath and tries to prompt the younger into talking with an easy question.

“Did you sleep at all?”

Andi sighs. “Uh, not really. I think. Kinda been dozing on and off since we all went to bed but…time hasn’t really felt real tonight anyways. That’s so weird don’t you think?”

“What is?” Stephan’s eyes have adjusted to the darkness enough to make out Andi’s face turned in his direction to look at him, eyes way too wide and awake for this time of night.

“This! Me waking you up at this godawful hour just because, what? I won a competition? Been there done that, it shouldn’t be that big of a deal. And yet here I am and my body just doesn’t- it doesn’t-“ 

Andi cuts himself off with a frustrated sound, dropping his head into his hands and pulling at his hair. “My brain’s not shutting up, Stephan. It wasn’t like that after Lake Placid last season, right? What’s different now?” He’s desperate for an answer, voice breaking on the last word. 

Stephan’s heart breaks a little, too, because Andi sounds tired. Utterly tired; the kind of exhaustion that creeps up on you after an entire evening of adrenaline and endorphins and riding the high of a victory. He puts a hand on Andi’s shoulder and just leaves it there, applying a bit of pressure to let the younger know he’s here. His heart breaks a bit more when Andi leans into the touch, instinctively chasing the comfort. “What’s different, Stephan?” Andi repeats quietly. “This wasn’t my first win since- since everything, and it’s not like it came out of nowhere. It’s been building up for a while, right? I’ve been doing great so far, I feel good, I-“ He stops for a second before dropping his gaze to the ground. “I think I’m scared.”

There it is. Stephan has started to rub soothing circles into Andi’s shoulder and back while the younger was clearly working something out. If there’s one thing Stephan’s learned in all the years he’s spent with Andi, then it’s that sometimes he just needed to rant. They’re different that way, Stephan supposes. Whereas he himself tends to work things out in the relative peace of his mind, Andi needs to voice his concerns. Contact, feedback, the weight of spoken words in a space to be able to see clearly. And if he needs to do that at two in the morning, then so God help him Stephan will be the one that listens. 

“What are you scared of, love?” Stephan asks softly. Andi scoffs. 

“I don’t know. Messing up? Disappointing everyone? It’s like…it’s like this victory comes with a price tag, you know? With conditions. The last few years nobody expected anything. I was the Olympic champion with the tragic injury, so getting back on track was the only task I had and nobody cared when I messed up. Every good jump was a bonus. But now people keep saying I’m back and then I went ahead and won the first comp of the tournament and now-“ 

“-now everyone expects you to win the rest as well.” 

Andi deflates the second Stephan speaks the words out loud. His head drops forward, messy hair tickling Stephan’s arm. The older carefully moves his hand from Andi’s shoulder to his scalp, gently carding his fingers through the unruly strands. “I don’t know if I can do it,” Andi whispers after a few seconds of silence and lifts his head to look right at Stephan, eyes desperately searching for answers. Stephan holds his gaze.

“Listen, Andi. You don’t owe anyone anything – not the fans, not our coaches, not us. The only thing you owe yourself is to enjoy competitions like yesterday’s since you went so long without them despite always trying your fucking best. What you do is enough, Andreas. Every jump you pour your heart and soul into is enough, no matter where you rank in the end. This victory isn’t worth more than the one in Lake Placid just because it’s got Four Hills written all over it, alright? You could’ve given up long before you ever reached where you’re at today, but you never did. That alone matters more than whatever happens in the next few days. Because I know for a fact that you will fight for every point and if that’s not enough, then that’s not on you. I believe in you and so do the team and the fans and whoever measures your talent and worth by whether you win this damn tournament or not can go fuck right off.”

He inhales sharply after his monologue, which was admittedly longer than he’d planned. Andi stares at him, eyes wide and mouth open. 

“Uh, so” Stephan finishes eloquently. “You know. Don’t worry too much.” He shuts his eyes briefly, cringing at himself internally. Way to ruin this, Stephan. You’re doing fantastic.

He looks back up when Andi snorts and dissolves into quiet laughter. He can feel a smile fighting its way onto his own lips because honestly, no one is immune to the sound of Andi Wellinger’s joy. It’s even sweeter when Stephan’s the reason for it. 

Andi’s voice is breathless when he teases Stephan. “You say all that and end it with ‘don’t worry too much’? Really?”

“Well excuse me,” Stephan retorts, untangling his hand from Andi’s hair to put it on his own chest in mock offense. “I apologise for running out of sensible things to say in the middle of the night. If you’d like to register a complaint, I’m gonna have to ask you to do it at a reasonable hour.”

Andi giggles again, wiping his eyes with his hands. He looks back at Stephan then, tilting his head in such an adorable way that Stephan’s heart skips a beat or three. The silence stretches on for a while, the mood turning serious once more as Stephan practically sees Andi going over his words in his head. 

One of us is gonna have to say something because if it gets any quieter, he’ll hear how loud my heart is beating. 

Yet Stephan doesn’t break the fragile silence. Andi doesn’t, either. Instead, the younger shifts, turning to face Stephan properly with one leg folded under him while the other hangs off the bed, and pulls the older forward into a hug.

Oh.

Stephan wraps his arms around Andi’s waist instinctively because that’s just what his body is wired to do at this point. They’re usually in an outrun when this happens, but right now, as Andi is tightening his arms around Stephan’s shoulders and hiding his face in the older’s neck, Stephan would gladly never see an outrun again if it meant he could stay right here for the rest of his life.

They hug in a way that’s only really acceptable in the tranquility of the night, when the sole witness is the moon and the darkness swallows the thoughts of any consequences a touch like this might have. Time passes and while Stephan doesn’t know if it’s seconds or minutes or hours, he never eases the pressure around Andi’s slim waist. He’s unconsciously started to rub circles into the dip of it with his thumb and he doesn’t stop when he notices. Andi’s breathing is quiet and steady against the side of his neck. Stephan can’t help but smile when the tension finally bleeds out of the younger’s body. 

“Did you mean it?” Andi asks after a while, voice little more than a whisper. “What exactly?” Stephan whispers back just as softly, tucking the other impossibly closer. Andi makes the transition with ease, laying almost entirely on top of Stephan, face still hidden against his shoulder. “Everything. That I owe my victories to no one but myself. That you-,” he clears his throat, a bit awkwardly. “That you believe in me?” 

It comes out like a question and something in Stephan’s chest cracks a little when he hears it. Impulsively, he turns his head to press a soft kiss into Andi’s hair. “Of course I do, love. Never stopped. And I always will, no matter how the tour ends.”

Andi exhales then, a bit shakily but Stephan can feel him settle. He removes one arm from around Stephan to search for Stephan’s hand in the dark and holds on tight when he finds it. Stephan squeezes back, interlacing their fingers. Through it he takes everything Andi gives him; all the doubts and thoughts and uncertainty that overwhelm Andi’s infinite optimism only in the shadows of the night. Stephan knows that when the sun rises in a few hours, it’ll be like the clouds in Andi’s head never existed at all, because that’s just how he works. Stephan wouldn’t want to have it any other way. 

Until that happens, he holds on tight to the boy in his arms. 

Andi doesn’t go back to his own room that night. 

#ski jumping #i’m actually scared #this was kinda rushed bc hyperfixation is a bitch i’m so sorry #i do really like parts of it tho so i hope you do too #no trigger warnings really?? #maybe very mild ones like overthinking and pessimistic thoughts #but other than that it’s really hurt/comfort #heavy on the comfort #that’s so unlike me idk what i was on #sj fics #sj fanfics #ski jumping fanfic #fanfiction #ski jumping fanfiction #andreas wellinger #stephan leyhe #lellinger #lellinger fanfic