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bqstqnbruin · 4 years

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Teach Me Something

I am slowly but surely making my way through the requests that I have and I am sorry that I suck at writing them, but here this is. Also, ignore the fact that this can’t actually happen how I have it set up, but I started writing the beginning and really liked it and then looked up more information about the Stampede and didn’t want to change it (don’t judge me).

Thank you, thank you, thank you to @luvsherleafs for reading through this and helping me figure this out, you are an absolute angel human and I appreciate you.

Here is the original request! Hope you like this!

EDIT: Read the other parts: part 2 // part 3 // part 4

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“Alright, I need you guys to start cleaning up, the bell is going to ring in five minutes! Beakers in the cabinets, lab goggles away, paper towels in the garbage. Lab calculations are due at the start of tomorrow’s class, and you have your nuclear quiz when?” you yell to your students as they finish up their lab.

“Wednesday,” some of your students answer.

“Cooper and Eugenie, when is the quiz?” you say louder, trying to get two of your students to stop distracting each other.

“Wednesday,” they chorus, the rest of their classmates running around the room trying to get everything away.

“That’s right!” you say with a smile, trying to keep your teacher face on for the last few minutes. It was the end of the day, and you had to get home and change before you went over the Stampede for the show that night. What sucked, was that instead of doing just a July week of shows, they decided it would be fun to do a preview night for some groups in March in some tent instead of outdoors like normal, overlapping with your school year.

The bell rings, your students scrambling to get out the door. “Bye, guys, see you tomorrow,” you say as they scurry out, saying things like ‘thank you, bye Ms. Y/L/I, see you tomorrow.’ You sit down at your desk, letting out a long sigh as the sound of students in the hallway gets louder from chatter, lockers, and overall high school chaos. Going through your lesson for tomorrow, you get lost in typing out your plan that the administration wanted to see, finishing the worksheets that you needed to print, and figuring out what other prep you needed to do before leaving for the day.

You lean back in your desk chair, debating whether or not you should send the worksheets to the printer now and make the 100 or so copies you needed, or come in and do it during your prep that you had first period tomorrow. “Hey Ms. Y/L/N, any chance you could tell me about capillary action?” you heard a familiar voice say from the doorway.

“Considering you learn about that in Biology and I teach Chemistry, I would say no,” you laugh, getting up to go greet your boyfriend, closing the door behind him as he steals your desk chair. “The US education system failed you, didn’t it?”

“Well, it’s not like I paid attention in science anyway,” he shrugs, “But what are you doing tonight?”

“I’m out tonight,” you say. You and Matthew had only been dating for about two months, and you still hadn’t brought up that you were one of the dancers with the Stampede. You didn’t know why; it just never came up. “Why, what did you have in mind?”

“The guys and I were going to go out for some Flames promotion thing, I wanted you to come.”

“If you guys go out after ten, I can try to catch up with you, but I also need sleep with school tomorrow,” you say as he pouts. You also needed more money, but that wasn’t something you were about to tell him. You ruffle his curly hair, him swatting your hands away as the pout turns to a smile. “You can come and make copies with me if you want. You have to wait to leave right now anyway, the buses are still outside,” you tell him, sending the documents to the printer down the hall.

“Do I get to press the buttons?” he asks like a child, getting up to follow you down the hall.

You start walking, the sound of your heels echoing through the hallway as Matthew trails behind you, some of the students trying to figure out what he was doing in their school in the first place, him not knowing where he was going with you. “No, the thing is ancient and I don’t trust you not to break the one copier on this floor because then I’m the one who’s responsible for fixing it.” He starts to pout again, following you into the room with the copier. “Ok, then do you want to fix it when it stops working?”

“That would end well for no one,” he says, looking down at his shoes.

You can’t help but laugh as you go to start making the first set of copies that you needed. You sit down at the table in the center of the room, taking Matthews fidgeting hands in yours. “So, how did you even get into the school, to begin with? I didn’t know you were coming to tell the office.”

“You’d be amazed by what you can do when you’re a professional athlete. I just said I was visiting you and they told me I could go once the bell rang,” he shrugs.

“That is an issue on so many levels,” you say, him just smiling and kissing the back of your hand.

“Eh, well. Are you sure you can’t come out with us tonight? The guys love you and I think you’d have a really good time tonight.”

You hear the copier stop, groaning as you get up to make the next batch. You could have just queued them all up at once, but that would make the copier angry. “What are you guys doing?”

“It’s Flames night at the Stampede, so a bunch of us are going.”

You stop what you’re entering into the copier, thankful that your back is facing Matthew. You should just tell him you were going to be there tonight, too. If you told him you were going to be there with other friends from work, that wouldn’t be a lie. Why weren’t you telling him in the first place? Maybe it was because you were slightly upset that you had to have two jobs just to make ends meet while he was living a life of luxury on one paycheck. But at least both jobs were ones that you loved, so that made things a little better. “Oh, cool. I’ve never seen one of the shows there, actually,” was all you could get out. That wasn’t totally a lie; you couldn’t see the show when you were in it.

“See, more of a reason why you should come out with us tonight!”

“I said maybe. That’s not a no. Now come on, I need to get home,” you hand him the stacks of paper to bring back to your classroom.

“Can we at least do something tomorrow night?” he pleads, putting the papers down on your desk.

“I need one copy of these in the yellow and orange folders and one copy of this one in the pink folders, and one copy of this in the blue folders,” you instruct him while you check to see if you have another rehearsal or anything that you need to be at tomorrow night. “But what do you want to do tomorrow night?”

“Uh, well, I was planning on getting in an early workout with Noah and Johnny the next morning since we have a late flight to Colorado so nothing that involves anything late,” he says, trying to concentrate on putting one piece of paper into each folder. “Why do you do this again?”

“Nothing late is the best, so I’m down for whatever.” That also, hopefully, meant that it was something that involved little to no money being spent, “And it helps me know who is missing that day or just didn’t take their papers and it helps them make sure they get their papers. I put them out before each class and they take them when they walk in.” He just shrugs, not completely understanding the method to your madness, but it worked for you and your students, so who cared? “How much time do you have before you have to meet the guys?” You ask him, even though you really don’t have time yourself.

“I gotta run; this was the only time I had to see you, so I wanted to come by,” he says, putting the folders in neat piles, handing them to you.

“That’s so sweet. I feel like we haven’t gotten to see each other a lot lately, with the season picking up and all.” You put the folders on one of the counters in your room, dropping the two on the top.

As you bend down to pick them up, you hear Matthew exhale, “Is it bad that all I can think of is picking you up and doing some very bad things to you on that counter?”

You turn around, pretending to be disgusted. “Matthew! The students leave their water bottles here!” you squeal, thankful that your classroom door was closed since students were still roaming the halls. “That might be something we can do tomorrow night, just not on this counter.” You pack your computer in your bag, grabbing that, your keys, and Matthew’s hand to drag him out of the school before he says anything else that shouldn’t be said around children.

“Can I at least kiss you in the parking lot?” he whines.

“Nope, my spot and therefore my car faces the track, some of my advanced kids are on the track team and I do not need them bringing up my romantic rendezvous with my boyfriend in class tomorrow and for the rest of the year. But where are you parked?”

“I ubered. Can I get a ride?” he says, giving you the puppy dog eyes that always made you say yes to him.

“Get in, pain in the ass.” You drive him home, the entire drive spent with him constantly begging you to go upstairs with him, but you really did have to get home and change. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Your place or mine?”

“Your pick, just text me when you decide,” he says, leaning over to give you a kiss. “Wait, are we far enough away from the school for you to kiss me now?” he teases, ghosting your lips as a mischievous smile dancing across his face.

“Shut up and kiss me,” you say, taking his face in your hands, kissing him instead.

“Are you sure you can’t come upstairs for just a minute?” he begs once he pulls away, his forehead against yours.

You wanted to, but he did say he had to run and you definitely had to get home and change. Looking at the clock out of the corner of your eye, you had about an hour to get home, get ready, and get over to the grounds before the parking was so full that walking from your car to the grounds would be considered your warm-up. “I’ve really got to go,” you say.

“Fine. I’ll see you tomorrow, though,” he says, giving you another quick kiss before getting out of your car.

“Yeah, bye,” you call as he runs inside. You did have to tell him eventually that you had another job, but he was going to find out tonight anyway. Would he be mad that you kept something like this from him, especially when he told you that he was going to be there tonight and you stood there and didn’t say anything?

You spend your entire drive home freaking out a little. This is a pretty big part of your life that you hid from him, especially since dancing has been part of your life for as long as you could remember, but you just couldn’t figure out how to tell him you needed a second job to live. What if he hates you because you’ve been keeping part of your life a secret from him? No, he couldn’t hate you, could he? Not for something like this. In all your freaking out, you completely mess up your makeup. Frustrated and in a hurry, you now had to completely redo your face in what would be record time, or be late enough that you risked walking a mile from your car.

You restart your makeup, deciding that you were going to do as little as possible, only to be distracted by your friend Rory's face popping up on your phone with an incoming call. “So is your hunky boyfriend going to be at this thing tonight?”

“Hello to you, too. And yeah he told me he was coming.”

“So he knows you’re going to be there?”

You hear her drop something on her end, which is perfect since it gives you time to avoid her question, pretend not to hear it as your finish your face and try to run out the door. “Sorry, Ror, didn’t catch that, I’m running out the door to my car,” you tell her.

“That translates to: no, I didn’t tell him.”

“Well, he’s not stupid, he’ll be able to figure out it’s me when he sees my face. It’s not like I look that different when I have makeup on.”

“You could call him and tell him right now.”

“Nope. He’ll find out when he gets there if he even notices.”

“Alright, love. Just make sure you find me after he freaks out,” she says, hanging up. He wouldn’t freak out, right? It’s not like you were lying per se, you were just not telling him the truth of things. He might be a little mad about not telling him exactly where you were going tonight, but none of what you told him was wrong: you were out with people you worked with. You just didn’t say you were going to actually be at work.

You spend your entire ride trying to justify to yourself why you shouldn’t be freaking out over tonight, which then inadvertently caused you to freak out anyway. After parking what felt like a mile away and pretty much running to the room where you got ready, Rory is standing at the door, waiting for you.

“Come here, I’m finishing your makeup.”

“I finished my makeup!” you protest as she takes you by the hand and drags you in front of a mirror.

“If your boyfriend is coming tonight, then you need to look better than that.”

“He came to my classroom earlier and I almost never wear makeup to school. I look fine.”

“Eyes closed,” she instructs. You do as she says. You can hear the crowd coming in to watch the show that you were about to put on for them. You were in the opening act, one in the middle, and then the end, so you had plenty of downtime to worry, pace, and freakout, while trying to remember your routine and get a headstart on your lessons for next week. “I don’t understand why you’ve spent this entire time dancing here with us and then dating him for what, two months now? And he still doesn’t know that much about you? Like I understand keeping mystery in the relationship to keep everything exciting, but this seems like basic information that should have been shared. It’s not like you’re doing something illegal.”

“If my eyes were open, I’d be rolling them at you,” you mutter. You didn’t need a lecture from her about this. You were already well aware of the fact that this was something you should have told him, but what could you do about it now?

“I’m just saying,” she starts again.

“Yes, I know, I know. You have been just saying since I first showed you his picture.” Thankfully, she stops talking, finishing your makeup in less time than you thought it would take. You can hear your phone buzzing in your bag, Matthew’s face lighting up your screen. “Hey, what’s up?” you ask, trying to change while also holding the phone to your ear.

“Just wanted to say hi before the show started,” you hear him say, the guys screaming in his ear about him already being whipped. “Shut up,” he yells at them. “I thought I saw your car in the lot, though. Did you and your friends end up coming here or something?”

Shit. You hear someone calling that it was almost time for the show, everyone needing to get ready to be in their place as you struggle to get your other shoe on. “Fuck, sorry, I have to go. I’ll talk to you later, bye!” you spit out, hanging up before he can say anything else.

“Ready to be exposed?” Rory asks, getting next to you with the lights out.

“That’s what she said,” you slip in, the music and lights coming on, blinding you instantly as you went into the routine like it was something you were born to do. At one point in the routine, you’re off to the side, out of the spotlight and giving your vision enough time to see the audience, make out their faces and see who was paying attention and who was on their phone and trying to hide you. You glance to the left, seeing a sea of red, each man wearing the familiar C logo that you were suddenly mortified to see. You spotted Matthew’s curls instantly, thankful that you weren’t able to tell if he could see you or not since you had to go back under the light, erasing the outside world from you.

The routine ends, you running back to where you get ready to see your phone lighting up with texts from Matthew.

Hey, what the hell?

Anything you need to tell me?

I’m going to be by your car once this is over.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. He was mad. He was breaking up with you. This was it; your best relationship was over before it really got started. You should have just told him. Why didn’t you tell him? “Did he see you?” Rory asks, breaking you out of the trance you forced yourself into.

“Yep, and he’s mad. After tonight I’m going to be single again, so that’s fun.”

“Well, Ryan’s had a crush on you since you started here, so there’s always him.”

“Rory!” you yell, trying to tell her she’s not helping without actually saying so.

“Are you going to be ok to go on?” she asks, sitting you down on the floor with her.

“I don’t know. I just want to talk to Matthew,” you admit. You can feel yourself start to cry, the commotion of everything around you muted as she just looked at you.

“Hey,” she says, putting her hand on your knee, “Why didn’t you tell him?”

You take in a deep breath, shaking your head because of how dumb the real reason is. “Do you know what it’s like to date someone who makes so much money that he can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants financially? I’m not mad about it, it’s just difficult when I have to work two jobs to make ends meet and that’s just not something he has to worry about. He always wants to go out with the guys and begs me to come but then I’m sitting there with like, ten dollars to my name meanwhile all of he and all of his friends can buy the bar if they wanted to and still have enough money to jet off to Australia or somewhere.”

“If he really likes you, then that kind of stuff shouldn’t matter. His first clue that you didn’t have a lot of money should have been when he found out you were a teacher.” You shoot her a look, “Ok, ok, but you know I’m right. From what you’ve told me, he just wants you to be happy. Go talk to him.”

“But the show?”

“I’ll find your partner and tell him not to go on unless he can find you first. Ok?” Rory says, picking you back up off the floor, “Go to your man.”

You send him a text to meet you out by your car as soon as he can. You beat him to the car, pacing back and forth in front of the hood. You see him walking towards you, your heart beating like crazy. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” you blurt out to him before he can even get a word in.

His eyes meet yours, his lips pressed into a thin line. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

You just shrug, trying to figure out the words to say. “It never came up? I don’t know. I should have. It’s not a big deal, I just have to work the two jobs to make ends meet, especially since this is normally during the summer when I don’t have school and I can get a paycheck and I told you that I’ve been dancing since I was like three, I just left out the part about me still dancing and I’m sorry are you mad?” you let out all in one breath.

He shrugs back, his hand in his jean pockets as he kicks a pebble back and forth with his foot. “That’s not the real reason. I know you well enough, Y/N, you’re not a good liar.”

“You have everything. I have to struggle to make ends meet, and even doing this, it’s still tough. I love both of my jobs; I was always worried that I would have to choose between teaching or dancing, and yes I have to do both in order to survive, but I would do both even if one was enough. I’m sorry,” you say again.

“This isn’t something that’s going to work if we keep things from each other. I mean, what if I had a secret family? I mean, the guys know who you are, too. What do you think it was like having them see my girlfriend dancing out there and me sitting there like an idiot not even knowing this was something you do?” he counters, his hands starting to wave around with frustration.

“Not telling you about a job is a lot different than you keeping a whole family from me. It’s not like this is some sort of scandal, this is something that I’m insecure about, I don’t know what else to tell you. Sorry I made you look slightly stupid in front of your friends.” you turn away from him, starting to go back inside when he grabs you by the arm, turning you towards him.

He bites his bottom lip, face scrunched like he’s trying to figure out what he’s going to do next. “This is something that makes you happy?”

“Yeah.”

“What about teaching?”

“Same feeling.”

“Then that’s all I care about. Come on, you think I would be angry that you had two jobs, or something? I would be angry if you had two jobs and you hated both of them. You’re doing what you love. Every time you talk about what you did at school that day, your eyes light up and I don’t even think you realize how much energy you get just thinking about your students and I feel so proud to be with someone who’s so passionate about what they do. If you’re like that about this, then oh my, god, I think the guys are going to kill me for talking about you so much.”

“Aw, you talk about me to the guys?”

The line in his lips turns into a small smile as he moves towards you, pulling you closer to him. His hand finds the small of your back, lips close enough that you’re sure he’s about to kiss you. “Are you kidding? I don’t shut up about you.”

“I talk about you a lot here, but if I did that at school my Principal would get very angry at me for not teaching.”

“Damn, your kids would go wild if they knew you were sleeping with one of their favorite athletes.”

“Yeah, and I would be fired for telling them and also lying to them since their favorite player is Sean.”

He pulls away, a shocked look on his face, “I’m better than Monny,” he says, acting like he’s hurt. You throw your head back laughing as he pulls you closer to him. “Is it bad that I’m still thinking about fucking you on the counter in your classroom but now you’re wearing this?”

“How about somewhere that my students don’t have access to and I wear one of your jerseys instead?”

His eyes grow wide before he closes them, obviously thinking about it, “Fuck,” he lets out, his face going towards the sky. “Please do.”

“Calm down there, Tkachuk, you still have the rest of the show to get through first.”

#matthew tkachuk #matthew tkachuk imagines #calgary flames #calgary flames imagine #flames #flames imagine #nhl #nhl imagine #hockey #hockey imagines

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abundanceofsoph · 3 years

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SkyFire 3: Chapter 6

Dunkirk Premieres & the summer before tour: July/August 2017

Word count: 3.3k

SkyFire 3 MASTERLIST

>Instagram posts

The song in this chapter is Boys Like You by Anna Clendening

In the weeks following Robin’s funeral, both Harry and Aurora tried to find their way back to normal. Aurora spent hours at a time in either of their home studios, writing countless songs in an attempt to process the painful emotions coursing through her or working on a surprise gift that she was painting for Harry. They both called Anne almost every day, just checking in with her to make sure she was looking after herself, often inviting her to come stay with them in the city, although she always refused. Before long, the premiere for Dunkirk was only a week away and Harry flew to LA and back for the press tour and enjoyed the long days of interviews alongside his cast mates. Aurora remained in London but was eagerly looking forward to walking the red carpet with Harry at the London premiere in a few days’ time, having already organised a gorgeous silver gown with the help of Harry Lambert and it hung, waiting, in her wardrobe for the big day.

xXx

The day before the premiere, Rori was buried under the duvet when Harry walked back into their bedroom after his morning run. It was not exactly unusual given that she had never particularly been a morning person, but usually she was scrolling on her phone by this point, trying to muster up the energy to get out of bed and start her day. He decided to leave her be and headed into the ensuite bathroom to shower and change out of his workout clothes. When he returned, she was still curled up in bed and he started to grow concerned. Harry’s brow furrowed as he climbed up the bed and lay back down next to his wife, peeling back the covers to reveal her flushed face. At first, he wasn’t too surprised by her red, sweaty face given the summer heat already building outside and the way she’d wrapped herself up in the duvet like a burrito. His brow furrowed quickly when she groaned, her eyes squeezing tight at the brightness of the room suddenly revealed by the loss of the covers.

“You alright love?” he asked, his fingers tracing her cheek bones noticing the heat radiating off her.

“Feel like rubbish,” she mumbled while feebly attempting to pull the covers back over her head.

“You feeling poorly, my darling?” Harry asked. His voice was low and soothing, full of concern as she slowly nodded her head, a pained groan following the movement.

“Cold,” she mumbled. “’n my throat hurts.”

“How about I run you a nice bath and put some fresh sheets on the bed?” Harry offered, “and then I can make you some soup.”

Aurora nodded her head in agreement, making no move to follow him as he headed back into the ensuite and started filling the tub. Once it was full, he returned to the bed, scooping her up into his arms and carrying her bridal style.

“Join me?” She asked, her voice a soft mumble as she stripped off the oversized shirt she’d worn to bed.

“I will in a moment, love,” he replied. “Let me just go change the sheets real quick first.”

He disappeared for a few minutes and Aurora sank into the tub, resting her aching head back against the edge. Harry returned quickly, slipping into the tub behind her and letting her settle between his legs. She lent heavily against his chest, her head lolling back on his shoulder, her eyes closing as the warm water settled around them both.

“Better?” he asked, receiving only a content hum in response.

They stayed in the bath until the water began to turn cold and then Harry bundled his wife up in a large fluffy towel before leading her back to their bed. She burrowed back under the covers, asking Harry to stay with her while she napped. She dozed on and off for a little over an hour before turning over and looking up at Harry where he was sitting back against the headboard, a book in one hand while the other continued running along her shoulders absently.

“You should call Anne,” she mumbled, startling him. “Should ask her to go with you tomorrow.”

“What?” Harry asked.

“It’ll do her good to get out,” Rori explained, her throat still raspy, “and you shouldn’t go on your own.”

“You might feel better by then,” he argued. “Was looking forward to showing up with my gorgeous wife on my arm.”

“It’d take a miracle to get me feeling up to a red carpet by tomorrow afternoon, Harry,” Rori replied, with a soft smile. “Was looking forward to it too. Guess you’ll just have to do another movie so I can go to the next premiere.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Harry chuckled. “Feeling hungry? I could make you that soup.”

“A little soup would be nice,” she answered, already burrowing back under the covers as Harry climbed to his feet and headed towards the kitchen.

xXx

Anne arrived the following morning and Harry Lambert showed up to the apartment a few hours after her to help Harry get dressed and provide Anne with a few dresses to chose from that he had gathered together last minute after Harry text him the previous afternoon. Anne had been in Mum Mode since arriving hours earlier, ensuring that her daughter in law didn’t lift a single unnecessary finger. She had Rori set up on the large sectional sofa in the living room, a mug of tea in hand and her next dose of Cold and Flu tablets within easy reach for her to take in a few hours’ time. She’d also popped to the nearby Tesco for groceries and set about making a fresh pot of chicken noodle soup, shaking her head in disappointment when Harry admitted to using tinned soup the night before. By the time both mother and son were dressed for the evening, Rori was wrapped up in a nest of blankets in front of the tv. She smiled brightly as Harry pranced into the room, goofing around and acting as if he was walking a catwalk as he twirled in front of his wife, showing off his sleek black suit.

“If I wasn’t so sick that I felt like my head was going to explode,” Rori said, “I promise I would be ripping that suit off you.”

Harry let out a loud laugh, throwing his head back. “How about I promise to wear it again when you’re feeling better?” he finally asked, his voice dropping lower which caused Rori’s cheeks to flush more than yesterday fever.

“Can we please keep the flirting to a minimum until I go home?” Anne joked as she entered the room, breaking the intense eye contact between the young couple.

“Can’t promise anything mum,” Harry laughed in response. “It’s not my fault that my wife is the most gorgeous woman on the planet.”

“Harry you can’t honestly make claims like that when your mother is standing right in front of you in a dress like that,” Rori argued. “You look incredible Mumma.”

“Thank you Darling. Are you feeling any better?”

“A little,” Rori said. “Now go have fun tonight alright.”

“You sure you don’t want to call Ella to come stay with you?” Harry asked as he kissed her forehead and prepared to leave.

“I’ll be fine, H,” Rori replied. “I’ve got the live stream ready to go. Drugs within arms reach and homemade soup on the stove to reheat for dinner. Now stop worrying about me and got strut your stuff.”

“If you need anything, promise you’ll call,” Harry said, his brow furrowing in concern.

“I’ll be fine,” Rori repeated with a roll of her eyes. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Love you,” Harry added, giving his wife one last kiss before leading his mother out the front door.

After Harry and Anne left, Aurora fell asleep, waking to the sound of the alarm she had set so that she didn’t miss the livestream of the red carpet event in Leicester Square. She smiled softly to herself as she watched Harry’s castmates arrive, having met many of them at a friends and family dinner that had been held a few weeks earlier before the press tour began. Her smile split across her face as the camera swept around to catch Harry climbing out of the car and offering his arm to his mother. Rori felt so proud as she watched the fans scream and cheer excitedly for him. He was stopped part way along the carpet for an interview. He talk a little about the experience of acting for the first time and working with someone as talented as Christopher Nolan.

“You’re joined by your mother this evening,” the interviewer said. “Where’s your new wife?”

“Aurora has the flu,” Harry explained, “but she’s watching at home. Hi, love.”

Once Harry and Anne disappeared into the theatre, Rori switched off the live stream and queued up a rom-com on Netflix, falling asleep again before she reached the midway point of the film. When she woke, the sky was dark outside the large windows, the city lights glinting off the black water of the Thames and Harry was knelt next to the sofa, his hand brushing softly against Rori’s arm.

“Hey baby,” he whispered. “How about we get you to bed?”

Aurora nodded and allowed Harry to help her to her feet.

“’m really proud of you, H,” she mumbled as they crawled into bed a few minutes later.

“You haven’t even seen the movie yet,” he chuckled softly. “Might change your mind.”

“Shut up and take the compliment,” she replied. “Proud of you for putting yourself out there and taking a risk.”

“Thank you, love,” he whispered. “Now get some sleep so you feel better in time for Sunday.”

xXx

By the time Sunday morning arrived, Aurora was indeed feeling much better, allowing her to join Harry on the journey across the channel. They left early in the morning as the sun was just beginning to dawn and drove down to Dover before taking the Channel Tunnel across to Calais and then headed along the northern coast of French until they reached Dunkirk midmorning.

While Harry was busy with interviews and a photoshoot, Aurora wandered along the beach and strolled through the streets of the small village, before meeting back up with her husband to walk the red carpet.

To say that Aurora was proud would have been an understatement. For as long as she had known Harry, he had been adored by his fans, but this was something new for both of them. For the first time, people who hadn’t previously considered themselves to be fans were suddenly paying attention to Harry and giving him credit for a job well done. No longer was he just a former member of a boy band, but now he was a successful solo artist and a talented actor in a credible film. Aurora was beaming the entire day, over the moon to see the love and support being directed towards the man that she knew deserved all of it and so much more.

Following the premiere, the entire cast and their partners headed to a local restaurant that had been booked out and enjoyed dinner together. It was a loud and energetic group, taking up every table in the large dining room and Aurora enjoyed listening to Harry and his castmates recount stories from set. Fionn in particular was more than happy to embarrass Harry, much to Rori’s excitement. Once dinner finally came to an end, the couple stayed at a hotel in town for the night before driving back to London the following day and then flying on to New York for the third and final premiere of the film.

xXx

Once Dunkirk was released in cinemas, the remaining 6 weeks of summer were busy for both Harry and Aurora with the upcoming tour looming on the horizon and countless projects on the go. Harry was busy filming music videos for the next singles to be released, as well as attending countless meetings for the tour and a BBC special that they would be filming at the end of August. Throughout the chaotic weeks of planning, filming and rehearsing, Aurora made sure to spend time with her loved ones before she hit the road with Harry and wouldn’t be able to see them for months on end.

One afternoon in mid-August she caught up with Ella’s mum, Bek, for tea and a catch up in the small flat were Ella grew up in south Wimbledon. The following day, Ella herself came over to Aurora’s apartment for lunch.

“Had afternoon tea with your mum yesterday,” Rori said once they sat down at in the living room with plates of freshly cooked pasta in hand.

“I swear you see my mum more than I do these days,” Ella laughed.

“Well it helps that she works from home and I don’t have a real job,” Rori replied. “Makes scheduling all too easy.”

“You’ve got me there,” Ella said, taking another bite of her pasta.

“Feel like I haven’t seen you in weeks though,” Rori added. “What’s had your weekends so busy lately?”

“Well,” Ella replied, nervously looking at her plate. “I started seeing a new guy.”

“Thought you were going to take some time for yourself after things ended with Natalie,” Rori replied, trying to keep to hint of judgment out of her tone.

“And I did,” Ella replied defensively. “It’s been 3 months and now I’m seeing someone new.”

“Well then tell me all about this new boy,” Rori said, biting back a tiny smirk at her best friends’ defensiveness.

“His name is Tim,” Ella all but sighed.

“Wasn’t the guy before Natalie, Tim?”

“No, that was Tom.”

“This one from tinder too?”

“Yes,” Ella snarked. “Not everyone can find the love of their life at a red carpet event.”

“I’m not judging,” Rori defended, her hand up in a sign of peace. “Just getting the lay of the land.”

“Yeah I know, sorry,” the blonde sighed, her shoulders sagging. “Just sick of mum telling me ‘I told you so’ every time I get my heartbroken.”

“You’ll find the right one eventually,” Rori promised.

“I mean trust me,” Ella continued. “I’m going in sceptical because most of them have been liars or just stringing me along, but I like Tim. He makes me feel like it’s worth taking a risk, you know. Mum doesn’t always know best. I mean she thought my dad was the one and look how well that turned out for her.”

“Well I trust your judgement. Now tell me more about him.”

“Oh my god, he’s amazing Rors. He’s genuinely tall, dark and handsome. Works out but isn’t a health freak that’s gonna shame me for getting a Big Mac and he has these chocolate brown eyes that I think I could stare at for hours. His mum is from Jamaica and his dads from the Midlands. Grew up in Peckham and he’s working as a physio for a football club.”

“You got any photos?” Aurora asked, smiling softly at Ella’s excitement.

“Oh yeah, hang on.”

“Oh, damn girl he is cute. Kinda reminds me of Stormzy.”

“I know right? God, I hope this one works out Rors, I really like him.”

“Remember what I said a few months ago,” Aurora cautioned. “Just ease into it.”

“I will,” Ella promised. “Gonna go so slow I’ll be crawling.”

Conversation moved on from there as they discussed the upcoming tour, Ella’s excitement to start teaching in a few weeks’ time, and an art project that Rori was putting the final touches on, before circling back to Ella’s love life and the date she’d just gone on with Tim.

“Hello earth to Aurora,” Ella said, waving a hand in front of her friends’ vacant stare.

“Sorry,” Rori replied, snapping back to focus on the blonde. “I’m listening.”

“No, you’re not,” Ella chuckled. “You’ve got that look on your face.”

“What look?”

“The look that says; Ella’s disaster love life has inspired another song.”

“My face does not say that,” Rori replied indignantly.

“But I’m not wrong am I.”

“Maybe,” Rori conceded. “Shut up.”

“I’m gonna go,” Ella replied.

“What? No. Stay,” Rori implored.

“You're useless to me at this point,” Ella said. “It’s fine. Go write. But when the royalty checks start rolling in you can buy me a Gucci purse. I have my eye on a few.”

“I love you,” Rori told her, the unspoken apology clear in her tone.

“I know,” Ella laughed as they hugged goodbye and then Ella was out the front door and Aurora headed straight down the hall to her music studio, a melody already filling her head.

Ella reached the lobby, stepping out of the elevator just as Harry was returning from running in Battersea Park.

“Where are you off too?” he asked. “I expected you to still be here until dinner.”

“Rors got inspired so I’m getting out of her hair so she can work,” Ella explained.

“Oh, you mean you didn’t want to hang out while she stared off into space and completely ignored everything you said?” Harry asked with an amused chuckle. He was very familiar with they way his wife would disappear into her own head when she had an idea for a song churning in her head.

“Exactly,” Ella smiled. “Good luck.”

Not wanting to disturb his wife while she worked, Harry tried to stay away from the studio for the majority of the afternoon. He showered and changed out of his workout clothes and then puttered around the kitchen, putting together a vegetarian lasagne for dinner. After cleaning up the kitchen, he finally grew bored enough to go disrupt the impromptu writing session.

At first, she didn’t notice him, but when he flopped down on the sofa across from the piano, her head snapped up and she smiled brightly.

“Ella left,” she said.

“I know,” Harry replied. “Ran into her in the lobby on my way in. Said you got inspired.”

“I did,” she grinned, clearly excited. “Wanna hear what I’ve got so far?”

“Always,” Harry replied.

So when you hold my hand, do you wanna hold my heart? When you say you want me, is it all of me or just one part? So when you hold my hand, do you wanna hold my heart? When you say you want me Mumma said there'd be boys like you tearing my heart in two Doing what you do best Taking me for a ride, telling me pretty little lies But with you, I can't resist I'm terrified, but I'll never let you know Social suicide if I ever let it show Everything feels just right I fall in place, we fall in line I'll never let you go “Thinking I’ll repeat the bridge and the chorus to finish out and I’m still trying some things out for the opening verse,” she explained once she finished singing.

“Sounds brilliant,” Harry replied, smiling brightly at her. “How about you take a break and we have some dinner? Made lasagne.”

“I love your lasagne,” Rori replied, already standing from the piano and heading for the door.

“Jeez, wait for me will ya?” Harry called out with an amused huff, already moving to follow her down the hall towards the kitchen.

NEXT CHAPTER

OR CONTINUE READING ON AO3

#skyfire fic #Husband Harry Styles #harry styles fanfiction #dad!tony #ptsd #domestic fluff #iron dad #step dad steve rogers #aurora stark #Harry Styles #tony stark

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blankdblank · 5 years

Text

Hobbit-Soulmate Pt 17

. Using details on Chicago - basing this off the film since I haven’t seen the musical myself. .And let’s just pretend Raul Esparza was in it once.

Pt 1 - Pt 2 - Pt 3 - Pt 4 - Pt 5 - Pt 6 - Pt 7 - Pt 8 - Pt 9 - Pt 10 - Pt 11 - Pt 12 - Pt 13 - Pt 14 - Pt 15 - Pt 16 -

Months you had to duck and dodge Jordan, and yet the full way today there was no sight of him bringing a smirk to your face seeing the effect of Richards warning. Straight to your first class you headed only to catch a curious addition to your pathway. Mr Tarl, a tall sweater vest clad man with grey slacks matching his dress shirt and loafers grinning at you in his usual silent request to speak to you.

“Mr Tarl? I thought you were out for the rest of the year.”

He nodded, “Yes, that is why I’m here. To speak to you.” Swallowing dryly you nodded and hoped that this drama with Jordan and your falling asleep in your classic lit class the other day. “Oh nothing like that.”

Around you the curious students passing paused to listen in forming a growing crowd. “Now, you remember that you had agreed to be the under understudy for the show I am choreographing?”

“Yes.”

“Well one of the leads has dropped out this morning taking their understudy with them, and the curtain rises in four days. I was hoping you might be interested. It’s only a two month run, up to your graduation, we have to be out for Lion King’s return, and it pays well, just over $2000 a week.”

At that your jaw dropped as he said, “The director gave me a two hour window to find out if you would take the part if not we have to cram another three months of prep and auditions into four days. You’re the only person I know that could soak it all up on a deadline like that. You’ve helped me out so many times before and I know you’d be perfect for it.”

“Wow, Just, sure. I, um, just finished reading through the step outline book last week.”

He smirked and turned guiding you towards one of the dance halls to a usually empty rehearsal room filled with a small group of chorus dancers and a band all looking you over curiously in his explaining the role in the new musical, Chicago. A depression era jazz fueled show full of mischief and scandal. “Now for this role you’ll need to sing alto, but it is the second lead, Velma Kelly. I’ve talked to your teachers and you’ve been cleared for the day. I also have the chorus dancers for your main numbers with me, you can give the first number a once over while you’re being measured.”

With that final door opening into the rehearsal room you set your things down and pulled from your bag the book of pages filled with the moves for each scene along with copies of the songs you had already nearly memorized. Focusing on that while a pair of women hurried over to take your measurements, fully pleased there would be little alterations on the final costumes to fit you. After his call Mr Taln returned finding you speaking with the other dancers on the opening scene for final touches and he queued the band to give a starting count for your first run through.

All the way to eleven you rehearsed and eased the worries of the chorus at least that you were well passed qualified and prepared to join the show so soon. Just a few kinks had to be worked out, minor details and surely the following day you would have to work through the talking portions the following day with the director. Rehearsals here had ended and Mr Taln had approached you again when he felt comfortable you were ready to see the director, “Now, we just have to head over to the main stage to meet up with the Director for the final walk through and to get the paperwork signed. You live close, correct?”

You nodded, “Ya, not far. Um can I bring my Mate along? Depending on how long if he wants to come?”

He nodded, “Of course. I’ll let you drop off your things and fetch him, here is the address just in case, but I’ll be waiting outside to walk you in.”

You nodded again and his smile grew at your creeping grin, “I’ll see you there. Won’t take long.” Hurrying out the room he chuckled along with a few of the dancers and band members all grouping around him to follow him back to the theatre.

A subway stop later and you raced through the street and into your apartment building passing your landlord as you called out, “Can’t talk now I’ll explain later!” Up the steps you raced straight for your apartment where you spotted Richard stepping into your sights from the kitchen with a curious raised brow, “Rich! Richy Rich, oh I have so much to tell you!”

His grin spread seeing you set your violin and bag down still in your knee length sweats and converse from your rehearsals under your baggy sweater added haphazardly over your tank top. “Class called early?”

You shook your head and raced over to hug him excitedly making him chuckle then grin at you when you pulled back, “ok, you remember the email I sent about the under understudy role I got?” He nodded, “Well the lead and understudy dropped out this morning! My teacher’s the choreographer and brought a crew to help me rehearse and now I have to head out to meet with the director for his final seal of approval.”

He hugged you again tightly with a chuckle, “That’s wonderful!”

Pulling back he chuckled at your poking him in the stomach, “Go ahead, ask me where it is?!”

In an excited pure he asked, “Where is it?”

In a squeaking bounce from you his jaw dropped at, “Broadway!! It’s only a two month run but I’m one of the leads, in a show, on Broadway!” Again you squeaked bouncing from foot to foot only to be wrapped in his arms again in a crashing kiss.

“That is wonderful. When does it start?”

“Four days.” His jaw dropped again, “I know! But I’ve memorized it all, just gotta run through it the costumes aren’t that off to fit me so easy tucks there that they said would be done by tomorrow.”

“Four days though?!”

You shrugged, “I’ve had worse surprises, like Oxford, only got the news with enough time to spare for my flight and chips.” After a nip at your lip you rocked from side to side, “So, did you wanna come?”

“Of course! I can?” You nodded.

“We can eat after. Something special, to celebrate.”

He nodded, “Three minutes, I can hop onto something.” In his turn to get dressed you found your purse from the closet big enough for your binder and your jeans to change back onto when you were done. And in your final check for a few other things Richard showed up in a dress shirt he was covering with his sweater with his jacket in hand smiling at you, “All done.” You squeaked again and took his hand he offered to head through the door you opened and locked behind you starting the trip out to the stairs and subway after, with just a paused moment to share the bare minimum that you had gotten a part on Broadway widening his smile.

Anxiously on the subway you wiggled and nipped at your lip under Richard’s arm until you exited out on the bustling corner of Broadway. Down the sidewalk you followed the crowd then approached your teacher after he’d sent away another curious band of people assuming he was selling something based on the new show. His smile spread and he extended his hand to greet Richard on the trot inside. Through the halls when the door was locked behind you by the smiling guard watching you hurry your way back to meet the director.

Gregory stood with his arms crossed in the audience and a few rows behind him Richard accepted your bag and took a seat by the other friends, producers and relatives with a few reporters in between. Straight up to him Mr Taln led you and after a quick chat a disbelieving glance was shared between the men as you trotted up to the stage to join the chorus again to run through the opening number ‘All That Jazz.’

From the first note hit he ignored you, locked in his discussion until your voice sounded out in an alto alluring tone with a growl mingled with it halted his arguments and turned his head. The innocent bubbly girl he had just spoken to now stood confident, demanding of attention flawlessly flowing through the number.

Your warning of the Jazz tone of the musical came as a warning to Richard in hopes that he wouldn’t laugh, because as you’d done with Lee watching you perform in classes before if he laughed in the rehearsals you would be reduced to giggles at how nervous you were. But flawlessly you fit into each number and especially stood out and even egged the other women on to push a bit more in the ‘Cell block Tango’ number. In which Richard smirked seeing the director inch closer in your opening lines, so carefree and flirtatious with the stand in photographers interviewing you, only to sit back and swallow in your line, “It wasn’t until later, till I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead!”

The sheer growl of the chorus beginning again and even out of costume chills ran through the silent seating section watching your trio perform your personal tango. That led to you back behind your rolling set of bars marking your cell you would exit again to join the chorus on a group number partially choreographed to floor work sure to look incredible in the final stages fully dolled up.

All the way to the final number you rivaled the more famous flapper bodied actress playing Roxie. Her movements having to be more emphasized than your restrained ones due to your even sweats covered hips required at your already present curves sure to be all the more emphasized in the final costume. It was a running game of contrast you seemed all to prepared to take on due to years of reminders on restraint in ballet and modern dance shows.

In the final pose you relaxed from the final pose lowering your fake bejeweled rifle from your shoulder to watch the director hurry up onto the stage dragging Mr Taln with him. From his eager handshake to his guiding you back to sign the papers his smile held and with the comment that the costumes had been altered already you were taken back to try them on for the promo posters bringing back the actress playing Roxie and even the actor playing Billy Flynn. With a grin of his own Raul joined you in the changing room hall extending his hand, “Hi, I’m-“

With a grin you answered, “Raul,” he chuckled as you said, “I’ve seen you perform before a few times. Mr Taln’s gifted me tickets to some of his shows before to keep me going.”

His brow arched up, “Keep you going?”

You nodded, “My dad works on an oil rig, we don’t get much time so I’m out here alone in school when I’m not at Oxford. Sometimes it’s harder than others.”

“Oxford? You study here and Oxford?”

You nodded and giggled, “Dad said I needed a backup plan so going for science degrees too.”

“Wow, you are just a bundle of mysteries aren’t you?” Making you chuckle and turn to head to your changing room to try on your costume.

His lips parted and you turned in the doorway guessing his question saying, “Jaqi, by the way.”

He nodded and watched you close the door to face the pair of women while he turned to enter his open changing room, through which he could hear your giggles and comments on the outfit.

Easily you stripped to your underwear and out of your sneakers and socks revealing a few bruised toes to the women taking them back for a moment along with the few band aids around the sides of your feet showing that you had blisters or cuts on them making your flawless steps all the more surprising.

Full pantyhose with dark lines down the backs of your thighs were covered with a black leotard layered with a silver and black sparkling shaggy vest top making you giggle and go, “Ooh.” Making the women chuckle around you at the opening number outfit they folded around you lifting and framing oh perfectly. After adding the heels they had given you a turn in front of the mirror was stolen and you mumbled, “Wow these makes my ass look fantastic,” chuckles were heard from the ladies and again outside from the makeup team waiting for you.

The door was opened and they saw you straightening your back to drop the curve of your ass to be less suggestive in your normal stance. Mumbling, “Ok, straight back on side views.” Turning again you hopped off the platform passing Richard, whose eyes scanned over you hungrily in your path after the pair to the makeup team.

Up into your chair you hopped and crossed your ankles looking in the mirror while one undid your bun to wind your hair back properly under a stocking cap for your black bob wig and the other started on your makeup after removing the little you had around your eyes already.

Passing Richard Raul worked his tie together and flashed him a grin then paused, “I saw you watching, you came with Jaqi.”

Richard nodded taking his hand, “Yes, Richard. It’s a great show from what I’ve seen so far.”

Raul chuckled saying, “Well we are fortunate to have such an amazing under understudy. Do you perform too?”

“Um, not musical theater anymore. Mainly plays and few bits on film and shows.”

Raul nodded, “Which was your last musical?”

Richard chuckled, “Cats.”

Raul, “Cats! Wow. Incredible show!” His name was called and he said with a grin, “I hope you show up again for the shows or dinners, we can share stories on our battle scars.”

Making Richard chuckle and lean against the wall peering in at you being transformed into Velma. Each stroke of the brush he could see your mental switch into her, no longer his previous mate but the vivacious murderess fighting to make it to the top of the world, and he truly couldn’t be prouder. Sure he’d done and mostly hated the musical portion of his career but you had such a passion and talent for it he couldn’t feel anything but overwhelming pride for you in all you were achieving and rightfully so in his eyes. It seemed you happened to stumble your way into acquaintances and jobs like a deer on ice and gracefully you took the jarring experiences in stride.

He could tell your feet were hurting, he’d seen you patching them up from class the other day after some jerk on the street had ran over your foot with a cart and yet you still powered through it with a smile, or smirk, depending on what the scene or your surroundings had called for. The struggle was real and painful for you, always restrictive and your practice in it showed as you posed with the cast in that outfit and another contrasting it from the final number with sheer stockings and a white sparkly shaggy mini leotard dress complete with white shoes to match your bejeweled rifle beside Roxy in her matching outfit. The image with you, Roxie and Billy together with you and Roxie in black around Billy in his suit and hat, you would be told would act as the new poster images to be posted by the morning for all the world to see complete with your name.

Papers, photos and the first rehearsal was down, the following day you would be back to go through your lines and stage cues for those scenes Richard was more than welcome to join you at as well. In your path to the door you caught the backers and producers speaking with Gregory excitedly about the talent you had turned out to be. One that one of producers had believed to be a better score than the original choice, especially due to your demeanor and effort to strive for perfection, not just for you but for the show in all. A major key in your winning factors for their choice for Velma was your ability to morph into her and actually vamp the other women up by performing as you had today only giving them hopes of a successful two month run they had been given for this show.

Having brought one of the disposable cameras you had gotten for him to record his time in New York with the blessing and joining in of Raul and Roxie you had your first reminder of your first big ticket show your name would be in lights for. Changed again with your face washed your hand was claimed by Richard who was smiling ear to ear leading you back out to the street after you had told everyone you’d see them tomorrow bright and early after hearing the voicemail on your cell phone from your teachers that you were given the week off and that if you needed to test out even earlier they would help you arrange that for you at your convenience after all sharing their compliments on how proud they all were of you.

Squeaking giddily in waiting for the crosswalk Richard chuckled at your lean into his side stealing a big hug earning a kiss from him in your glance up at him. Lowly he hummed against your lips, “You were fantastic.” He glanced down at the phone you were easing back in your pocket, “Family call?”

You shook your head, “No, my teachers, they said I can have the week off and if I have to test out early so I can keep up with the show they said they’ll help me set a good time for them.”

“What do you think? You can do both?”

You nipped at your lower lip for a moment then answered, “According to Raul they do have double shows twice a week, in the week, so I might have to. I love school, but I really love this show and want to give it my all.” His grin inched wider, “It just feels right to focus on it.”

Richard nodded, “I get that.” He glanced forward and you both crossed the street with the rest of the crowd, “To get my credentials I had to work in the circus for months, oh I was miserable, but I had to, so I understand. Plus, if you had the days off you could get more rest.” In the hum growing in his voice he playfully added, “And some more time for us to cuddle.” Making you giggle again.

“My two dance teachers did say my performances last Saturday morning would be my final, both said I should be resting my legs. And I still have the My Girl Friday presentation for tomorrow, but it’s set up for four so plenty of time after rehearsals. For my vocal coach they said my performance last week was being counted as my final grade so I can rest my voice. Violin, I have to be in on Saturday then that can be my final.” Richard chuckled at your nip at your lip to pause, “I think that’s it, the others can all be arranged. My others can just be essays or written.”

“I know you can handle it. I am glad they are so willing to fit your needs.”

You giggled again and said, “They do expect the best, and for the ones that work so hard and excel they want to help out, especially Mr Taln, he liked to hand out tickets to his best students as a sort of prize. Me most of all when I’m having hard times. Besides, it is one of the best school so it wouldn’t help anyone to hold us back from opportunities.”

Chuckling lowly he added, “Plus, Broadway. It is so impressive and you more than deserve it. Now, where are we celebrating?”

You giggled again saying, “I know a little place around here.”

He smirked and joined you for the walk to the little cozy family owned eatery you cozied up in a back booth enjoying the meal through hushed flirtations stemming from his comments on how he thought you looked in your costumes. From there you took the subway back home again and after sharing with your landlord you joined him upstairs, where he was chatting with his brother sharing all the news after his hearing Chris had checked in on his house. While he talked you went to your laptop and opened it firing off an email to your dad and grandparents along with a text to Lee sharing the news and asking how he was feeling.

Your arms draping down from around the back of his neck widened his smile and he took a hint that Chris had to go to end the call with his love and hung up to pull you around onto his lap to kiss you.

Fresh and early you were dressed and ready to go along with Richard after a stolen few extra moments of snuggling before breakfast. Today at least you could dress a bit warmer and the trip went easily and in a back rehearsal room you ran through your scenes with a few of the understudies and the assistant director while the main cast ran through the scenes around yours. A couple hours in you were out to run through your own scenes with the main cast, who loved to help you morph into the full role with shared comments on each scene before and after you went through them. From 7 to 2 you ran through everything, as many details at possible were absorbed and noted in your binder they all stole glances at smirking at your notes already before you had even practiced with them.

Into the cold again loose plans to have a meal after your first performance in two nights and you made your way off to school with your dress, heels and makeup in your bag. Through the halls again you passed through the excited students all asking random questions and sharing what you had missed between glances and smiles up at Richard, who settled into the auditorium anxious to see your performance after you had been stolen away by your group, who was more than thrilled to see you were still able to give the presentation. In your changing Richard glanced down at your phone he pulled from your coat pocket to read ‘Lee’ on the screen and without thinking he answered the call saying, “Hey Lee.”

On the other end of the line Lee froze in the doorway of the auditorium, “What?” His heart racing at hearing a man’s voice on the other end of your number.

“Jaqi’s changing for her performance.”

Lee wet his lips, “And you would be?”

“Richard.”

Again Lee inhaled to cover his moment of panic not knowing how he or when he had gotten to New York let alone how he had fit into your days since he had gotten injured and pulled away from your daily life in his try to explain things. “When did you get to New York?”

Richard wet his lips then turned his head to the door behind him hearing the announcement playing through the phone, “If you’re here to see Jaqi you can sit by me, got a decent spot and she should be on in a bit.”

Lee exhaled then said, “Sure, you’ll have to wave or something I need my hands.”

Richard smirked, “Ok.” Wetting his lips he hung up and propped his arm on the back of his seat peering at the door waiting to see the young fool who let you go not once but twice for someone as ridiculous as Jordan.

After a few calming breaths Lee thanked the guy opening the door for him to make his way through the slanted walkway scanning over the crowd. It didn’t take much to figure out who your Mate was, out of the large group of students and familiar family members his eyes fell on the clearly standout man with your coat under his arm and his fingers raised. Every detail you had shared fit him to a T, and those bright blue eyes and resting stern expression under brown hair softening the expression, the long legs stretching nearly to the seat before him marked the pair to nearly the same height with similar builds only worsening matters.

At the end of the row Richard got an even better view of Lee, someone a bit sturdier than he was when he was that age, forcing back his insecurities of his time as a living string bean he flashed the teen a quick grin and eyed the scrapes and bruises visible outside of his baggy jacket and shaggy hair. “How’s the leg?”

Lee’s head tilted and he shifted his crutches to hop over to the second seat in beside Richard to sit down leaving his crutches on the seat to his left, “Sore, but better. Just a sprain.” He wet his lips, “When did you get in?”

“Jaqi must have taken the whole park incident hard,”

Lee, “That’s not-,”

Richard cut him off, “Our marks bruised over.” Lee’s lips parted, “I already had a plane ticket to talk to her and it took a few times to call her to get her to answer while she was getting you to the hospital. I landed about 15 hours later, managed to calm her down.”

Lee’s eyes dropped to Richard’s hand saying, “Your marks healed though?”

Richard nodded showing him the mark, “Yup. Jaqi thinks her heart might have skipped, or maybe it was a near death thing like my brother suggested. I thought you were on bed rest.”

Lee grumbled and shifted in his seat, “My parents are working, managed to sneak out,” making Richard chuckle, “I’ll be back by their lunch.” He glanced at Richard again who was glancing at the students setting up a few decorations on the stage, “You’ve been staying with Jaqi then?”

Richard nodded glancing at him again, “Did she tell you the news?”

Lee nodded, “Ya, texted me about the show.” He wet his lips, “You’ve seen the rehearsals?” Richard nodded, “She as good as I think?”

Richard chuckled saying, “She is phenomenal.”

Lee nodded, “How long are you in town?”

“Through to the end of next week, so I get to see just over a week of the show. Heard about your show and film, congrats.”

Lee nodded, “You have anything lined up?”

Richard nodded, “I have a spot in spot as Angus in a Shakespeare for tv that we’re going to put on stage closer to winter,” Lee glanced at him, “There’s a few shows lined up before then that have been planned for over a year, big names and all that, have to fit their schedules. In the meantime I have a few extra spots on some good series back home lined up.”

Lee wet his lips then asked, “So, how is Jaqi going to fit into all that out there while she’s dancing and going to school?”

Richard smirked, “The play would be the longest stretch of work for us to juggle through, besides, the London Ballet is only contracted from April to September, no telling where the world will lead her next.”

Lee, “And you’re good with that?”

Richard smirked at him, “The job comes with travel and new surroundings and acquaintances, I’m not going to hold her back from following where her path leads. If I can I’ll bend mine to be close to hers but even if we have to work apart we’ll make it work. What would you do,” Lee’s brows inched up, “If you got sent to one corner of the world and she got sent to the other, you’d just drop her as a friend?”

Lee, “She’s always my best friend.”

Richard nodded then said, “Don’t forget that.” Lee’s lips parted readying to say he understood you were dating now only to fall silent at Richard’s saying, “You don’t see how big an impact your friendship has on her. You’ve had history and there’s some to get through for you, but you could be friends for your whole lives, sharing all your good and bad news. You have no idea how rare that is. I didn’t have that till I met her, and I’ve almost ruined it a couple times but I won’t do that again, you shouldn’t either.”

Lee nodded then looked forward saying softly, “And here I thought you’d want to hit me or something.”

Richard chuckled, “I think the ground did enough damage to you.”

Lee couldn’t help but smirk and smooth his uninjured hand through his hair when your group was announced.

After you had finished your show you caught a glimpse of the pair seated together and your stomach clenched wondering what they had spoken about. Though after you had changed Lee was glad to accept your hug and to chat with you both on the way back to his home you walked him to ensuring he didn’t fall down or anything. Another stolen hug and he groaned by your ear at the sting in his ribs, “Save me a ticket for that opening night. I won’t miss it for the world.”

You smirked up at him, “Get back in bed you walking bruise.” Making him chuckle then glance at Richard who he traded nods with before his turn to climb the steps and head inside, when he closed the door behind him you turned with Richard who leaned down to kiss your forehead, “Come on, let’s go get you off your feet, Love. I’ll give you a rubdown to one of our films.”

“Ooh.” Lowly he chuckled in your snuggling walk down the street, in the subway however your curiosity got the best of you, “What’d you talk about?”

He smirked at you in your glance up at him, “You,” Your brow inched up, “How I got here, how long I’m staying, and I made sure to tell him he’d be a fool to stop being your friend if work takes you off to different corners of the world.”

“Really?”

He nodded, “I’m never going to make that mistake again, pushing you away. I’m so sorry I ever hurt you, I thought I’d lost you, and I won’t, ever again.” Snuggling more against his side his arm tightened around your back kissing the top of your head.

Back home again in his heating up some hot water to soak your feet in you checked your email and beamed at the email your dad had sent you that you read aloud to him spreading his smile in return as you said, “He’s coming out in three weeks to see me!”

Richard replied, “That’s fantastic!” Carrying the soaker into your bedroom and after you replied he carried you in as well to set you on the end of the bed while he started rubbing your neck and back through the opening credits of the film you had picked. “Any plans for when he gets here?” You nipped at your lip and he chuckled loving that you would be with family again after he had left to tide you over until you could be together again.

All –

@himoverflowers, @theincaprincess, @aspiringtranslator, @sweeticedtea, @ggbbhehe4455, @thegreyberet, @patanghill17, @jesgisborne, @curvestrology, @alishlieb, @jogregor, @armitageadoration, @fizzyxcustard, @here2have-fun, @lilith15000, @marvels-ghost, @catthefearless, @imjusthereforthereads, @c-s-stars

X all Rich. A - @abiwim, @deepestfirefun, @thestorybookmistress

@evyiione, @deepestfirefun, @rhaenaatargaryen

Pt 18

#Richard Armitage x Reader OC #Lee Pace x Reader OC

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asterinjapan · 5 years

Text

Back in time

Good evening, this time from the train from Osaka to Okayama! It's a little past 8:30 pm now, and since I'll have to get up early tomorrow for my trip to Tokyo, I'll be typing most of today's report on my phone. Just a heads up in case you spot any weird typoes, haha.

Anyway! Today was indeed a busy day, although very much fun in a lot of senses. You see, today I was meeting up with a friend to go to Universal Studios Japan, and then to a concert by KOKIA, my absolute favourite artist. So that's 3 great things in one sentence already, haha.

I'll be splitting the report so that one half just concerns the concert, because I tend to do very detailed reports on those. Seeing KOKIA live is such a treat, I don't want to forget a single detail! So below follows the report on the rest of the day.

I had to get up early to catch my train, so of course I woke up wayyyy to early at 4 am, pff. I went right back to sleep and woke up a little before my 6 am alarm, which was still too early, because breakfast starts at 6:30, haha. Oh well, plenty of time to get dressed in peace!

After breakfast, I made my way to the station to catch the shinkansen to Shin-Osaka station. The train goes past Himeji, though sadly I wasn't in a good position to take a picture of the castle. I did however notice that you can see Okayama castle from the train as well, be it from quite the distance. The views weren't really superb today, which was to be expected, since there was rain forecasted for pretty much the entire country. Oh well, not much I can do about that but take an umbrella, haha.

The trip was smooth and I met up with my friend at the station. We were going to Osaka station from here, a mere 5 minute ride, but it was quite tricky to even make it through the shinkansen gates. It was really busy for some reason, though they had just announced a train further south had stopped running due to heavy rains. Uh oh... but so far so good in Osaka, no rain yet and we eventually made it to Osaka station and from there, 2 quick trains bound for Universal Studios Japan!

We first caught up a little over drinks, with matcha latte for me of course, before we made it to the park entrance and got tickets. Since it was a Saturday I suspected it would be busy and we'd need to draw a number for the Harry Potter part of the park, but apparently the weather forecast worked in our favour, because there were no numbers needed to enter today. Yaaay! I went to Universal 4 years ago as well and mostly spent my day in the Harry Potter part, haha, so I wasn't complaining about starting here. Actually, this part of the park only has two rides proper and they're both a bit wild for us, but just looking around here is an attraction in itself. I got all nostalgic over the music and the scenes, and after shop browsing for a while and having our picture taken in front of the Hogwarts Express, we went into the wand shop to experience some magic happening as a random audience member was picked to be chosen by a wand. Sadly this wasn't me, haha, although I have a great wand at home I bought here last time. It was a fun little show (this time Ollivander spoke both very good English and Japanese, haha), after which we ended up in the wand shop, but we passed through it in favour of the castle.

You can go into Hogwarts castle for a pretty intense adventure (I did it back in 2015, my stomach wasn't very happy), or you can choose to take a stroll inside and look up on awe at all the amazing detail they put on here, haha. We opted for the latter, and I definitely made use of the invitation to take pictures by going wild with my current camera. Much better quality! Ah, I love this camera so. The castle has a ton of talking and moving paintings as well as some projections and a ton of replicas from the movies. Aside maybe from the last bit, where we first had to wait for a while for unknown reasons and then were rushed through, it was really great.

Once outside, we spotted some performers coming out dressed like the students from the wizarding schools Beauxbatons and Durmstrang from the fourth book/movie, so we stayed to watch. I think i read somewhere that this was a limited time show, and they were really good, very athletic. (I'm personally not a big fan of the movie approach of "the French students are only girls who dance pretty dainty ballet and the vaguely Russian students are only manly guys who grunt and stomp with sticks", but hey, that says nothing about the performers here! And the costumes were lovely. )

After some more shop browsing, we were in for a surprise once we were outside: the sun was shining bright! Absolutely not according to the forecasts, absolutely not complaining, haha. I took some very pretty pictures of the castle if I do say so myself, and then we went for lunch here. The salad served at the Three Broomsticks was pretty big, plenty enough to share. After this and of course some butterbeer (non-alcoholic), we left the wizarding world behind us and moved into the rest of the park.

This mostly ended in sightseeing, since the rows were too long to consider queuing up with the concert time getting closer, but that was a lot of fun too. They put in so much detail, and since it is almost Halloween, a lot of people had come dressed up.They do in the Disney parks too, but Disney has pretty strict rules about which characters you're allowed to dress up as, while here it seems to be "anything goes". I saw a guy dressed up as a piece of corn, quite some elaborate costume dress ups, a surprising amount of guys in Sailor Moon outfits, a lot of fancy gothic dress up, and a surprising number of uh, nuns. Alright! And of course, there was the usual mix with outfits from the Harry Potter part and uh, Minions. They have their own spot here.

We also went into the Jurassic park area, which was closed for maintenance last time, although sadly we didn't see a lot of dinosaurs roaming around. There was a scarily realistic Velociraptor animatronic inside the gift shop though! (I think it might have been Blue? Look, I only saw Jurassic World once.) But well, I still love dinosaurs, so this was still cool, haha.

Once we were getting closer to the time of the concert, we went back to the station to catch the train to Osaka station. Luckily the concert venue was very close and actually within the same building in which they have the big Broadway musicals here, currently the little mermaid. It was the lion king last time I went here and got lost at Osaka station, haha. (That station is like 5 different stations all connected, so it's a bit of a maze.) We got seated, got ourselves a drink (it's kinda like a jazz bar here, so you sit at a table and you can order food and drinks), made a quick trip to the merchandise shop, and then sat back to enjoy the performance.

I'll save those details for my next post, haha, but rest assured I had a great time. KOKIA had two performances tonight, so it was a little shorter than a big hall concert, but she did make time for an autograph session! Naturally we queued up with our newly purchased albums, haha.

Ah, such a good time! It was around dinner time now, so my friend introduced me to akashiyaki, which is "sort of takoyaki, except not", haha. Akashi is a city in the nearby Hyogo prefecture, and these are dumplings made of egg rich batter and octopus you need to dump into thin fish broth before eating (thank you, wikipedia). Although takoyaki, also balls with octopus, is more popular and better known, akashiyaki apparently came first. It was really yummy! We shared akashiyaki and then had a takoyaki gratin, which sounded kinda odd, but ended up being delicious as well. We eventually had some desserts at a nearby tea shop that sold SO MANY matcha things, I nearly had a crisis deciding until I opted for the matcha roll cake, incidentally the best roll cake I've ever had.

It was time to part ways with the promise of reunion, and I made it to Shin-Osaka alone. Familiar territory after last year, haha. I caught a shinkansen for Okayama and I have just arrived in my hotel safe and sound, very tired but very pleased.

Tomorrow will be tiring without a doubt, as I'll be in a train for 4.5 hours straight (I did this to myself, I know). But then I'll be in Ikebukuro, Tokyo, my home away from home at this point, haha. I guess I'll ditch my things at the hotel and then rush to Shibuya for my favourite little shrine there, because I must owe some deity something for how lucky I've been so far. Did I mention it was dry the whole time we were outside? Yeah.

I love Tokyo, so I'm very excited about going back there, but it also means saying goodbye to Okayama and entering my last week already. Time really flies, huh...

Well, stay tuned for pictures and the concert review while I go pack my suitcase (the title will make sense after that review, haha, although Harry Potter and dinosaurs are both things I grew up with) and then see you tomorrow from Tokyo!

#report #japan 2019 #report: japan 2019 #places: universal studios

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artemisegeria · 5 years

Text

Love by Design (Chapter 7/?)

Title: Love by Design (Chapter 7/?)

Rating: T

Word count: 4356

Warnings: None for this chapter.

Summary: Vision makes elaborate foam art as a barista at the coffee shop that his brother owns. One day a new customer comes in, and he completely loses his cool. As she keeps coming back, they grow closer. A casual acquaintance becomes something much more.

Chapter Summary: Vision and Wanda spend a gratuitous amount of time smiling at each other and struggling with their feelings before they finally get their act together.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16272371

A/N: Excerpted lyrics from “I Want to Know What Love Is,” written by Mick Jones, appear in italicized print.

I struggled a bit with this chapter and rewrote the last couple of sections several times, but hopefully it worked out. It also kept growing and is the longest chapter so far. I hope you enjoy!

Vision dropped his bag in his bedroom, taking a moment to collapse on his bed after a long day of traveling home from his university. His phone buzzed in his pocket. He looked at his text messages to find one from Wanda. How was your trip? Did you make it back ok?

Yes, thank you. It’s good to be home.

Are you too tired to come out with us tonight?

He didn’t waste a second before replying. His exhaustion was rapidly falling away. No, I’ll be there. She gave him the location and told him they’d all be there at ten. Fortunately, Ultron was not in, so Vision did not have to come up with an excuse for where he was going.

Vision immediately saw the group. He ducked under the rope to join them. Wanda smiled at him, and the others greeted him jovially. He couldn’t help but notice that Wanda’s dress covered substantially less skin than what she usually wore. It was a deep red color with a deep vee. It was covered in delicate sequins that seemed to glow under the lights outside the club. Her soft curves were aesthetically appealing, but he worked to keep his focus on her face as she asked about his trip.

Inside the club, the lights were low and strobe lights were making a mesmerizing pattern on the bodies dancing close together. It was not an environment that Vision typically felt comfortable in, but Wanda standing close to him and the familiar jokes of the others kept him grounded. It allowed him to enjoy the beat of the music. They managed to find a corner booth that fit all of them. Wanda and Vision ended up in the center where the two sides of bench joined. Sam and Natasha immediately sped off to the bar to get drinks for the table.

When they returned with several pitchers of beer for the table, Vision accepted a cup. Now that Vision was sitting down again, his tiredness started to creep back up on him. The chatter around him turned into meaningless droning. He felt as if he just blinked once, but suddenly he and Wanda were the only ones in the booth. She smiled up at his confusion. “Hey there. I thought someone who was awake should stay to guard the stuff.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” He could feel the flush of embarrassment and slight intoxication burning through him. “If you want to go dance, I’m awake now.”

She shook her head, a faint blush that was barely visible in the low light touching her cheeks as well. “No, I’m fine, but if you’re tired, I can call you a car.”

“No, no.” The sensible part of him urged him to follow her suggestion, so that he could function tomorrow, but he couldn’t resist the opportunity to meet her smile and let the atmosphere of the club create a bubble around them.

Until he felt a tug on his arm, drawing him away from Wanda’s gaze. He looked up to see Natasha grinning at him while Clint pulled on Wanda’s arm. Natasha said, “Clint and I have to have a little chat. We’ll stay with the stuff. You two go have fun.” Wanda and Vision glanced at each other, but there was no arguing with Natasha.

They joined the rest of the group on the dancefloor. Wanda seemed to glow even more brightly under the strobe lights. His eyes were continually drawn to her, even as their positions within the group changed. Not only her body, but also her completely carefree air as she swayed to the music. They all bounced along to the upbeat music that was currently playing, and oddly enough Vision had rarely felt so at peace himself, despite the noise and the crowds. It was one in the morning before they all piled into a few cars and made their way to their homes.

But Vision did not catch a wink of sleep, pondering the new intensity of his feelings.

***

Wanda entered the shop a little later than usual. Now that school was out, there wasn’t quite as much pressure to wake up on time. The space behind the counter was empty, but Wanda noticed a large bound manuscript was sitting in front of her seat. She smiled as she flipped through a few pages.

A few minutes later, Vision emerged from the back room. His beaming smile encouraged one to form on her own face. She had never seen him so happy. “You finished it?”

“Yes, I did.” He came around the counter and ran his fingers lovingly over the cover page.

“Congratulations!” She wrapped her arms around him, and he returned her embrace much less hesitantly than the last time she had hugged him. Since she wasn’t falling apart this time, she able to focus much better on the way his arms felt around her. It was lovely, though she still wasn’t sure how he felt about it.

He pulled back slightly, but he kept his hands on her back. “I still have to go through a final round of edits with my advisor and complete my dissertation defense, but the worst is done.”

“Vizh! That’s so great. I’m really happy for you.” After a few more moments, they realized they were still holding onto each other, backing away simultaneously. He returned behind the counter.

“What would you like this morning?”

“Since we’re celebrating, I’ll have a scone with my iced coffee.” Vision made her order and leaned on the counter across from her. Wanda smiled at him. He seemed more relaxed than she had ever seen him, with the weight of his dissertation no longer so heavily hanging over his head. “So, will I have to start calling you ‘Doctor’ now?”

“Certainly not. Well, not yet at any rate. Maybe in a few months.” His boyish smile infused her with the powerful desire to close the distance between them and kiss him. She’d not felt such a strong wish in years, but she held herself back. This was not the time or place. Vision was her best friend; taking that step was not a choice that should be made lightly.

***

The lights went down as the emcee went up on the stage. “Our first group tonight is Tony, Thor, and Steve.”

Tony and Thor bounded onto the stage, with Steve following more calmly after them. The rest of the group, which had monopolized several small tables, watched them, with some whooping and others heckling. Wanda merely shook her head, but Vision could see the slight upward curve of her lips. They were sharing a table with Natasha, Mantis, and Mantis’s girlfriend Nebula. Bucky, who was smiling softly at Steve on stage, was sitting at a neighboring table with Sam and Clint.

The music started, the opening notes encouraging much bouncing of feet and bobbing of heads. The instantly recognizable opening notes of “Stayin’ Alive” filled the room. Tony stood in the middle of the group, hamming it up for the crowd and making the most exaggerated disco dancing motions, stretching his arm high into the air. Thor and Steve flanked him, gradually leaning into the movements as the song progressed.

As the night wore on, the others’ singing grew louder and sloppier. Natasha, Thor’s friend Val, and Jane’s friend Darcy sang “It’s Raining Men.” Sam and Clint belted out “You Are the Wind Beneath My Wings,” exaggeratedly waving their arms and staring into each other’s eyes. Scott and Hope performed a sincere rendition of “I Will Always Love You.”

Vision and Wanda both rebuffed repeated attempts to get them to sign up. People from other tables took the next few spots. Out of the corner of his eye, Vision saw Tony, Natasha, and Mantis whispering. When Tony and Natasha walked over to the sign-up sheet a few minutes later, Vision thought nothing of it. Until the emcee announced, “Next up is Wanda and Vision.” Wanda immediately glared at Tony, but he only started a chant encouraging them to go on stage.

They took a second to look at each other and then at their friends, who were still egging them on, but finally complied.

The emcee queued up their music, noting it was “I Want to Know What Love Is.” Vision was grateful that he was at least somewhat familiar with the song. As the opening lyrics scrolled across the screen, he tried not to think too hard about their meaning.

I gotta take a little time, a little time to think things over I better read between the lines, in case I need it when I'm older

Their voices were not too steady, and the crowd urged them to sing louder. Vision had a sinking feeling that this would only be the first of many heavy-handed attempts to manipulate his friendship with Wanda. But, despite their discomfort, they began to warm up to the singing. They focused on each other more than the crowd. It was not as terrifying as he might have thought, given the subject of the song.

In my life there's been heartache and pain I don't know if I can face it again Can't stop now, I've traveled so far, to change this lonely life

They had certainly both experienced heartache and pain. Vision was struck again by how much meeting her had brightened his life. Meeting her had opened a whole new horizon for him.

I want to know what love is, I want you to show me I want to feel what love is, I know you can show me

By the time they reached the first chorus, Vision let himself melt into the song. He smiled at Wanda, encouraged when she smiled back.

I want to feel it too, and I know and I know, I know you can show me Show me love is real, yeah, I want to know what love is

When they reached the end of the song, Vision and Wanda just looked at each other briefly before their friends started screaming and applauding wildly.

As they gratefully left the stage, Wanda spoke lowly to Tony, “I hope that was fun for you because I will get you for it. I haven’t decided how yet, but you don’t know either. I promise you that you won’t see it coming.” Vision didn’t think Tony’s look of trepidation was at all feigned, and Wanda grinned savagely as she walked away. Mantis, Nebula, and Natasha were not at their table when they sat down. Wanda’s manner immediately turned softer and more apologetic. “Sorry about my friends.” She paused and glanced up at him. “Well, they’re your friends now too. Anyway, you know they can be idiots.”

“Oh, a little teasing among friends never hurt anyone.” He attempted an easy smile back at her. “I hope the song didn’t make you too uncomfortable.” Vision could dream that she had a rather more positive opinion of their falling in love.

“Uh, it’s fine.” Wanda flushed more deeply, but Vision tried not to take it too much to heart. It was embarrassing to be called on stage with no warning, and they had never discussed shifting from a platonic to a romantic relationship. After a moment, she smiled more fully at him before turning to scowl at the back of Tony’s head. “I just need to plot some good revenge for Tony, and Natasha, too, for putting us in that situation. Death is far too kind for them.”

“Might I suggest putting them in a room of angry parents and locking the door behind them.”

Wanda chuckled. “I like the way you think.”

***

Wanda smoothed her skirt when she heard Vision’s knock on her front door. It was her turn to host everybody for game night, but she had invited him over early. Suddenly feeling a bit nervous, she let him in. He had never come to her home before. “Would you like something to eat, Vizh?”

“Yes, that would be nice. And highly advisable if Natasha is mixing the drinks tonight.”

“Sorry everything’s a bit of a mess.” She looked around at the knickknacks that cluttered her walls and coffee table. “And I don’t have much in the kitchen right now.”

“Not at all. I enjoy seeing the pieces of your life.”

She cringed as she opened her refrigerator to show him what was available. There were a few eggs, some cheese, a little bit of wilted spinach, condiments, and not much else. “I could make omelets if you like.”

“Sounds great.” She showed him where her pans, utensils, and oil were kept. When he had all the ingredients in place, Wanda watched Vision cooking unabashedly. She took advantage of all his focus being exerted on the pan in front of him. He flipped the omelet perfectly and handed her a plate when it was done.

“Feel free to eat while it’s hot. Mine will be done momentarily.” He was true to his word, and they both finished their meals and cleaned up quickly. When they were done, Wanda gestured to her couch, and they sat side by side.

“Did you hear that Clint’s wife is pregnant with their first child?” Wanda asked.

“No, but that’s wonderful news.”

“I know. Nat’s so excited to be an aunt, and Clint doesn’t show it as much, but he seems thrilled.” She had nearly cried when Clint had pulled her aside to tell her, love and excitement practically shining out of him. Wanda was happy for them, but she did feel a pang of jealousy go through her every time the subject came up. She wanted to be a mother someday, but she didn’t know how she would achieve it. She supposed there was always in vitro fertilization or adoption, but there were severe hurdles to get over both of those. And she didn’t relish the idea of being a single mother. She wanted a stable partnership to support her child or children, but she would have to meet a suitable partner first.

Vision’s thoughts had apparently wandered down similar paths. “I have always wanted to be a father.” His eyes were wistful and far away. She shouldn’t have been surprised, given what she already knew about Vision, but Wanda was still a little taken aback at such a decisive statement about having kids. It was rare in her experience to see a man think that way.

“I’ve always wanted to be a mother, too.” Wanda’s heart jumped a bit at her admission. They were getting deeper into the only subject they never really discussed, even after they learned more about each other’s histories.

“I am only afraid that I will wait too long to find someone to start a family with.” She ached for the sadness in his voice. A perfect image of Vision gazing adoringly at a tightly wrapped newborn resting in his arms filled Wanda’s mind.

“If it makes you feel any better, I’m in the same boat.”

Vision looked at her sadly, eyes never wavering. “No, Wanda, it doesn’t. You deserve to have everything you want.”

“So do you,” she breathed. Her heartrate sped up as a result of the tender look in his eyes. Neither of them spoke, both unwilling to break the moment. But something in Wanda forced her to make one last attempt to cover everything she was feeling with a flippant comment. “But it’s hard to imagine creating a family with someone when I haven’t made it past a second date in years.”

She was beginning to imagine it now though. The image she had formed earlier was supplemented by a picture of herself coming up to Vision’s side and gazing with equal awe at the bundle in his arms. She shook her head to clear it of the extremely premature image.

“Yes, I have only ever met one person with whom I could imagine starting a family.” There was no mistaking how the smile in his eyes was all for her. Wanda just hoped that she was not letting wishful thinking deceive her. “It does make it all the more special when you find a person like that.”

Silence reigned again, but it was charged with expectation. There was suddenly poorly concealed terror in Vision’s eyes. She was about to ask what was wrong when he rushed forward. “Wanda, may I kiss you?”

She nodded, and he brought his hands to cup her face, staring into her eyes briefly before pressing his lips to hers. Warmth spread through her from the place where their lips met. She rested her hands on his shoulders. When they finally separated, Wanda noted that Vision was blushing. “I hope that was satisfactory. It has been a very long time.”

She nodded, just a bit dazed. “For me too,” she whispered. Wanda regained control of her words as she calmed down from the surprise of her best friend kissing her. “I’ve wanted to do that for a while. Um, thanks for beating me to it.”

“You have?” Wanda smiled at his starry-eyed expression and nodded in confirmation. “I have as well.”

However, reality was setting in. The others would arrive in about fifteen minutes. “If we want to keep doing this, it will be an adjustment though.”

Vision nodded seriously. “Yes, I would never want to jeopardize our friendship.”

“Me, neither.” Except for Pietro, Vision was the most important person in the world to her. Wonderful as this feeling was, she couldn’t mess that up out of carelessness. “So, we, uh, should probably keep this to ourselves until we can talk through some things.”

“Agreed. Are you free tomorrow night?”

“For you, absolutely.” She grinned at the deepening blush that spread across his cheeks. She was very tempted to kiss him again. But she didn’t want to get too carried away before their friends arrived. A few minutes later another knock sounded at her door, drawing them out of their own new private world.

***

Vision’s feelings had not changed overnight, and he had not expected them to. But there was the matter of disclosing his sexuality. Kissing Wanda had been wonderful, but it did not change his fundamental feelings about sex. It had been so long since he had kissed someone that he sometimes thought his feelings would change if he met the right person. But that was clearly not the case because he had never met anyone he cared as deeply about as he did Wanda.

His stomach tied itself in knots as he considered the best way to word his speech. He had never gotten to the point of revealing it to another person, but he wanted to be completely honest with Wanda from the beginning.

His anxiety was amplified by the fact that he had forgotten to ask Wanda if she was coming by this morning. He had been so distracted by the dramatic shift in their relationship and trying not to act too oddly in front of their friends. His question was answered when the bell at the front door rang at the usual time. “Hey, Vizh,” she said more softly than was her wont.

“Good morning, Wanda. How was the rest of your night?”

“Good. Yours?”

“Very good.” He smiled at her tentatively. “What will you have?”

“Hot chocolate today, please.” He made her drink and handed her the can of whipped cream, shaking his head fondly at the excessive amount she added to her mug.

“We should buy bigger mugs just so you have more room for your whipped cream.” She stuck her tongue out at him and he chuckled, relieved that they could maintain the same rapport that they always had.

“That sounds like a great idea.” She took a large sip, and Vision found himself mesmerized by the bit of whipped cream that stuck on her upper lip.

He leaned forward unconsciously, reaching out with his thumb. “Wanda, you have a bit, uh…May I?”

“Oh.” She was blushing furiously now. “Sure.” Vision gently wiped his thumb over her lip. They remained still, both breathing faster than usual, until Wanda closed the distance between them. The kiss was short and sweet, but Vision felt the weight of all their feelings behind it. “So, I, um, have to go practice my cello now before our group practice later. I’m still not up to the level I used to play at. But you’re still coming over to mine tonight, right?”

He smiled at her. “Yes, I look forward to it.” She smiled back and rushed out, throwing one last wave over her shoulder. It took some hours for Vision’s anxiety to overpower the bright glow of contentment that she left him with. He comforted himself with the thought that whatever her reaction she would be kind about it, but the afternoon hours still seemed to ooze by like thick molasses.

Wanda welcomed him warmly into her apartment at the appointed time. After a few pleasantries, she offered to make tea, and he accepted, eager to have a few more moments to center himself. While he waited, Vision drifted over to examine her pictures more closely. There were several of a man, a woman, and two children. Then, a number of just her and Pietro. One in particular caught his eye; Vision didn’t think he had seen it the day before. It showed the two siblings outside on a sunny day, surrounded by other people sporting all colors of the rainbow, with Wanda in a shirt with purple, white, gray, and black stripes. He was still considering how to ask her about the picture when a quiet “Tea’s ready” came from behind him. Vision turned to her and walked back toward the couch. Wanda played with her rings when she saw what he had been looking at, and they prepared their tea in silence.

Her fingers tapped loudly against the cup as they sipped. Her eyes drifted back and forth between Vision and the picture. There was no denying the nervousness in her expression. Vision took a breath and steeled himself to say what he needed to. “After last night, there is something that I wish to tell you, but may I ask you about the picture first?”

“Okay.” Wanda set her cup down and drew her limbs into herself, watching him warily. With the way she tensed up, Vision felt he may have begun the wrong way.

“Is that you and Pietro at Pride?”

“Yeah, he convinced me to go when I visited him last year.”

“And you’re wearing the asexual pride flag?”

“Mm-hmm.” Her defensive posture did not shift, but her expression grew more open. “You’re familiar with it?”

“Yes.” He strove to speak with all the authority and matter-of-factness with which he would deliver an academic conclusion that he had reached after much study and thought. “I am intimately familiar with it, actually. I am asexual.”

Wanda just blinked at him for a minute, and Vision’s heart plummeted. He tried to think of how he could explain himself differently if the shirt was just a coincidence and she had no idea what he was talking about when she whispered, “You’re ace?” To hear her use the familiar slang term at least assured him that she did at least know the term.

“Yes.”

She looked at him as if she had never seen him before, a wide smile slowly breaking across her face. “When you said you didn’t usually date, I never would have imagined that was the reason.” Her body relaxed somewhat. “I am, too, like the shirt indicates. I’ve never met anyone who identifies as asexual in person before.”

“Neither have I. I did not want to presume; I thought perhaps you were wearing the shirt in support of someone else.” Wanda shook her head, still smiling softly at him. “I have rehearsed this for years, but I’d begun to imagine that I would never have the opportunity to say it out loud.”

“I only ever told Pietro.” Her excited tone faded at the end of the sentence, and her face set into a scowl. “And one boyfriend in college who promptly offered to ‘fix’ me. He was the last semi-serious boyfriend I had.”

Vision tentatively reached for her hand. “I’m sorry.” He had heard many similar stories and it broke his heart every time.

Wanda only shrugged. “It was a long time ago. Besides I should consider myself lucky. My friends kept telling me that he was a jerk, but I couldn’t see it until he said that.” But she turned her eyes up at him hopefully. “So, I guess you wouldn’t be bothered by the fact that I’ve never had sex?”

“Not at all. I have not either.” Vision had never thought that his inexperience was a cause for shame, but it was still a rarity at his age. It was a relief to admit that to someone who felt the same way. “Part of me did not even believe it was something real people did outside of fiction for a long time. I knew it intellectually, but I could not quite wrap my head around it.”

Wanda laughed with absolute delight and leaned toward him, listening eagerly. “Me neither. I was so confused when Pietro started dating.”

They began to interrogate each other, finally having the opportunity to discuss a number of subjects with someone who understood. When their initial stream of excited questions cooled, they rested back against the couch cushions and absorbed this new information. Vision smiled at her, overcome with relief at how she received what he had never dared tell another person before. “So,” Wanda teased, gracing him with a small, intimate smile, “any other deep, dark secrets you have to reveal before we start a new relationship?”

“No, that was all. You?”

“Nope.” She raised their joined hands to his cheek and pressed forward slightly.

Vision caught her open, inviting gaze and tilted his head closer to hers. There was only one item remaining on his agenda. “And would you like to proceed?”

“Yes.” Wanda sealed the answer by pulling him in for another kiss.

#alternateuniversescarletvision #fanfiction #au #wanda x vision #scarlet vision

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alliswell21 · 6 years

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The Christmas Box (part 3)

A few weeks later, Mrs. Mags, Peeta’s Sunday school teacher, apologized to him for not having found the picture that came with the letter. She told him that she did find out there was a video of the children opening the boxes one of the missionaries in Manila made. She warned him, he may not be able to tell anyway who got his box, but it was something. They were going to play the video during Wednesday night service, when the missionaries were set to speak at church.

Wednesday came at snail pace, and he almost missed church because he was so tired. He had shoveled off snow from the sidewalk in front of the bakery that morning, since it was an unseasonably late snow fall they had no salt for the concrete, then, he had to wash some pans, which made him late for school in turn missing a test, which landed him in a heap of trouble with Mr. Heavensbee, the history teacher.

After groveling with his charm dialed up to the maximum, Mr. Heavensbee acquiesced to let him take the test after school and before wrestling practice, this had a domino effect on the rest of his day. He got late to practice as well. He had to run laps for what felt like an eternity as punishment. By the time he got home, his missed supper. His whole body was sore and his legs felt like jello, but he manned up, and marched on, on foot, to church. He was really very curious about the Pinay girl who wrote to him.

He had learned the term Pinay from a book in the library, it referred to a female person from the Philippines. That’s where Katniss Everdeen was from, an island far away in Asia, some where out in the Pacific Ocean. He learned that being so closed to the equator, the island was prone to hurricanes and earthquakes. That at some point in history, the USA had control over it, but they finally recognized it as its own nation, and to add greatness to them, the Philippines became one of the first founders of the United Nations.

Philippines sounded like a pretty awesome place, and he figured he’d learn more about it at church, from the missionaries that had been working there the past year.

When time came to see the movie, he was disappointed the segment on Christmas boxes only lasted a whooping 2 minute long montage, out of the whole 18 minute video of the whole year.

The footage was so fast he couldn’t tell if there were any characteristics that would pinpoint at his own box. He watched with the utmost interest the rest of the video, and listen closely to the anecdotes and testimonies of the group of missionaries, consisting of a family -mom, dad and two teenaged daughters- because that was the polite thing to do.

At times, they would pause the images to explain something, or to share a back story for what they we’re watching, it was mostly interesting, but Peeta was tired, and his eyes started to droop.

Suddenly, a young voice crooned Amazing Grace through the speakers, wiping away all of Peeta’s fatigue.

It was the most wonderful thing! A little girl, who couldn’t be older than 10, judging by how skinny and short she was, sang with all the feelings of her soul.

She had a heart shaped face, with the darkest, shiniest hair he’d ever seen gathered at each side of her head in twin braids, a series of stills took over the video, but her voice still sang as backdrop. Pictures of a children’s assembly where the singer girl lifted her hand above the crowd, the next picture showed somebody picking her up and placing her on a stool in front of the congregation, the stills pictures faded back to the movie. The girl’s red checkered dress looked a little ill fitted on her tiny frame, but Peeta thought the color suited her olive skin just right.

He was mesmerized with the girl’s talent, but it was more than her musical prowess, it was her bravery, her passion as she sang... her voice! And when he thought nothing would ever top the way she captivated him with her voice, the camera closed up on her face. His heart stopped for just a second, then beated so hard and fast, he had to place his hand on his chest to make sure it wasn’t about to break free and crash against the canvas the movie was being projected into.

It was just a clip of it though, only long enough to see the unique shade of gray her eyes were... not quite blue, but toeing the line. The song lasted to the end of the first stanza, but he was completely fascinated with the girl and her sweet, clear voice. The little girl exuded confidence, something he had just started to dabble on since joining the wrestling team at school.

When the service was over, the pastor said that everyone was welcome to come speak to the missionaries for a bit. They were scheduled to go back to the Philippines in a month or so, but that was their only night at that particular church, they were visiting all the churches that had had a hand in supporting their ministry abroad.

Peeta stood at the back of a short queue, and waited patiently for his turn, trying to ignore the heaviness of his limbs. In the few seconds in which the girl sang, he had completely forgotten about his exhaustion, the lingering sadness of losing Granny, and the frustration with his mother’s unkind words to him as he was leaving to church that afternoon.

She had mocked him for getting in trouble at school for being late all day, asking him if he knew how to tell time on that fancy hand watch he’d gotten for Christmas, or if he should go back to his kiddie Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles one that was up in his bedroom, without batteries. The worst part of all, was it had been her, the one who made him late, by demanding he cleared the bakery’s sink before going to school. He had done it without protest knowing full well he was overstaying.

He was so lost in his dark cloud of unhappy thoughts, that he got startled when the young lady in front of him cleared her throat loudly to get his attention.

He looked up, realizing he now was first in line.

“Hi! I’m Peeta Mellark. Nice to meet you ma’am.” He shook the teen’s hand enthusiastically, the girl smiled.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Bonnie, that’s my sister Twill. Mom and Dad,” she pointed at each of her relatives and then smiled at him.

“Yeah, I remember the pastor said y’all were related, earlier.” He smiled. “So… h-how do you like Manila? I’ve been reading on it.” He didn’t mention he sent one of the boxes, because the Bible said not to brag about that kind of stuff, his grandmother made sure he knew that.

They spoke for a while about Manila and the Philippines. Then he asked other mundane questions about weather and food and the such. He saw more people had come to queued behind him, so he inhaled a long breath, hoping to pick up some bravery from the oxygen filling his lungs, and asked his question, “So, that girl that sang Amazing Grace, was she a regular? Do you remember her name?”

Bonnie smiled widely. “Why, yes! That’s little miss Mockingjay.” She beamed, “She and her baby sister were regulars. Sweetest girls ever.”

”Mocking... what?” He asked furrowing his brow. He was confused.

“Oh!” Bonnie laughed. “Mockingjay,” she repeated slowly, enunciating each syllable. “It’s a nickname we made up for her. Her real name was Catnip or something like that.”

”Gotcha,” he responded somewhat relieved there was a reason he couldn’t place the name in any recognizable language.

“Yeah, little lady could sing sweeter than a mockingbird, but was as feisty and protective of her sister as a mother Jay.”

“I see. Well, she sang beautifully. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone sing like that before.”

Bonnie smile at him, and he felt his cheeks burn up with embarrassment, that he couldn’t quite explain.

“Thank you for your time, miss Bonnie. I really enjoyed watching y’all’s video.”

“I’m glad! Hope the Lord will lead you to pray for all the people we serve in the Philippines.”

“For sure.” Peeta smiled, his heart a little fuller and less sad, now that the little girl had a name and some personal traits to go with.

That night, while brushing his teeth before bed, the thought came to him like lightning in a storm. “Maaaaan!” He cried out, spitting toothpaste all over the mirror. “I’m an idiot!” He shook his head at his reflection. Penetrating blue eyes under frowning dark blonde brows, staring at him reproachfully. “I could’ve had written a note for Katniss and another one for Mockingjay, and given them to miss Bonnie to bring back to Manila.” He exhale a disappointed sigh. “I’ll never get another chance.”

He finished washing up, turned off the light and shuffle to the bedroom he shared with his middle brother, “Stupid. I’m the biggest idiot ever!” He said to himself under his breath, and pulled the covers over himself.

”Been saying that for ages, Peet. Now shut up and go to bed, we have school tomorrow.” Called his brother from under his own comforter.

Peeta just glared.

#winterinpanem #everlark fanfiction #christmas #to be continued

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james-bionic-barnes · 7 years

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Update Part 2

A Heads-Up

Okay so, again I’d like to point out that I’m writing this at 4 in the morning so it’s definitely still sincere, but no one is going to see this if I post it at the time I’m writing this so this post (and probably even some asks) will be queued, but whatever I say in them I still definitely mean, I just want them to be seen & not be lost because of the time I’m posting them. Also, I’m going to divide this up a little bit through titles just so it’s easier to skip to the important parts because I’m probably going to ramble & type a lot in this, & I do want those who care to see my explanation as to what happened. Please AT LEAST read the TL;DR near the bottom (after the ‘read more’ link, that is) so that you can avoid my stupid rambling, but know briefly what happened.

My tentative plan is to be active tomorrow & respond to messages (& to any of my friends who might be reading this, I’m sorry that I’m not responding but I don’t want to do so at almost 4 am my time.) However, I am in an area that might be possibly affected slightly by Hurricane Harvey so if I lose power due to storms, I’ll respond on my phone as much as I can, although it’ll take me longer to type out the long messages that I’d like to, but when I’m free (I’m currently in the midst of unpacking & getting ready for school) I’ll respond as much as I can, since obviously, everyone deserves that.

The ‘read more’ link below starts with my actual explanation as to what happened to me & why I was gone for so long. If you read it, or even just skim it (which I’ll understand because I want to let people know what happened, & there IS a TL;DR near the bottom), I hope you understand. But no matter what, I love & appreciate you all <3

What Happened (in as few words as possible, which is still a lot)

So about right after I hit 3k & posted how I wanted to celebrate, I stayed offline for a bit because I was hanging out with family, with full intent to get back on & host a celebration for 3k followers & continue conversations with my friends as always, and ask everyone for opinions on what I should write next. About right after posting my last post, my family got into a tight spot financially, both my parents & as well as my sister & her husband. Obviously, we were all stressed about it despite the fact we knew we were probably going to be okay. But it was a major stress not knowing if my sister was going to be able to pay for groceries or not. Eventually, we got mostly out of that, however, but my stress didn’t really go away.

All summer I’ve been packing and getting ready to move to an apartment close to where I go to school, along with my mother moving in to help me. Even though I was extremely excited at the idea of decorating my own apartment and being closer to the school campus that I love, I was (and still am, honestly) extremely stressed about it. Even though I have my mom with me, the rest of my family (my sister & her husband, and my dad) are back home. But the entire process took forever (as moving does) and I just got more stressed as time went on since I was worried about not getting everything done. That, compounded with my regular stress and anxiety just snowballed on me and made my mental health take a nose-dive. I barely did more than stay in bed and sleep, or just marathon shows I’ve seen before just to let my brain rest a bit and get away from the stress.

I had a brief good period during late July - I celebrated my birthday as well as my mom’s, and I spent a lot of time with family and relaxed a bit. But then my sister began to have issues at work - and I mean issues. She works at the entrance desk of a psychiatric hospital. She deals with visitors before they are allowed back to visit patients, and obviously, there are mandatory requirements before you are allowed back. When a particular woman wasn’t allowed back, she began to physically threaten my sister, & attacked her verbally right in the lobby while my sister’s boss just stood there. The woman has returned twice and each time threatened my sister’s life and continued to attack her verbally and insult her, as her boss does nothing to help. On top of all this, my sister is pregnant with her first child - clearly, this isn’t an environment for her to be in if she’s possibly going to be threatened or hurt. Thankfully, she’s quitting, and hopefully she’ll find another job soon, since it’ll be tight financially for her again, but we’re praying everything works out.

But the biggest personal cause of stress has been school - I start Monday, and although I am now *mostly* moved into my apartment, I still feel under prepared. Not to mention that there was a screw-up in my financial aid process so I’ve been worried about that even though it’s probably fine. Still, school is my biggest source of stress, so now that it’s starting again I’m worried of it getting too much again like last time. Hopefully, since I’m in a different environment this year (with my mother & cats in an apartment, & not in a tiny dorm), my health (both physical & mental) should be better off as I have a lot more ways to cope with it. As some of you might know, I’m physically disabled & have chronic pain, so last year’s dorm situation was not ideal for my health. But now that my living situation is different, I guess I’ll just have to see how everything goes.

The longer I was away (and obviously, I’ve only “come back” just recently, if you can even say that), the worse I felt about tumblr & getting back on - I figured that since I hadn’t posted much writing before I left, if I came back saying that I might not be able to write for a while, I’d just be met with anger. Which, I admit, is a complete discredit to my followers - all of you that I’ve interacted with have been absolute sweethearts, and completely understand. But still, my anxiety got the better of me, and it just spiraled. And I especially felt like shit when it came to the idea of talking to my friends again - since I left every one of you hanging, I just felt like I’d immediately come back to not wanting to talk to me anymore. Which, even though I haven’t been able to speak to anyone yet, I still think it’s a complete discredit to you as well, since every single friend I’ve made on here has treated me with complete & utter kindness & love. And I’ve always made it a point to be kind to people and to always work to be the best friend I can be - which, clearly, I have not been doing AT ALL. I’ll talk to each one of you, I promise, and hopefully everything can be worked out and I can finally apologize to you, too, since each one of your friendships mean an incredible amount to me and I don’t want to lose any of them.

TL;DR - Why I Was Gone

tight financial situations with my family

moving to an apartment for school

school starting soon/financial aid mess up

my sister being threatened and her job & her financial situation now that she’s quitting and expecting her first child

worry that once I came back after being gone for so long, I’d just be met with anger and every one of my friends dropping me

My anxiety just making everything seem so much worse than what it’s probably is going to be, especially when I think of coming back & talking to my friends

& my mental health has been absolute shit since I left and until I get everything worked out here, it’s still probably going to be.

Apology (& this is the last thing, I promise)

So if you at least read the tl;dr, you got a brief idea of what happened to me and why I dropped off the face of the earth again. Despite all of what happened couldn’t exactly be avoided, and that I’m still accepting the fact that I’m allowed to not be okay, even if it’s for a longer period than I would want to, I still am so sorry I disappeared. Believe me, every day I was gone I was so torn about coming back and would go to the login page but would just psych myself out since I was so scared of the backlash I might be met with due to my anxiety causing me to worry about it. I thought of all of you & would read a bunch of my favorite fanfics of all of my friends just to help make me feel better when I had really bad days. But I’m sorry I never actually responded to anyone (that is, until I start to tomorrow, but my apology will still apply), & that I feel completely horrible for, and I don’t think I can get that across in few enough words to not sound pathetic or just to not make this post any longer. But I want everyone to know that I’m sorry for vanishing like that and for any hurt I may have caused during all of this.

After seeing tomorrow (I guess later today, technically?) what some of the reactions are to this, hopefully some of my stress will be a bit lifted about the anxiety of returning back here. Once school starts (and the actual true work starts, not just the opening week) and I find my routine, I plan to figure out exactly how active I can be. At the very least, I plan to be on as much as possible & respond to everyone & reblog, but I’m not sure yet how writing is going to go. If I’m able to, I might just start off with a drabble or two, maybe a one-shot. It all depends on how much free time I have after school starts and how I’m dealing with the stress. For now, I’m back on a writing hiatus (not that I was off of one much before I disappeared) but I’ll see what happens after all this settles down.

I’m still recovering, and a few of these issues are still ongoing, and obviously, mental health is always going to be a struggle for me, and whatever happens is pretty much unavoidable - it’s life, after all. But still, I ask that everyone is patient with me as I respond to asks and messages when I can. I promise I’ll get to everyone. I just need to get back up, and it might take a bit, but I’m going to work to get better, both with figuring out how active I can be, and as well as keeping myself healthy at the same time. For the meantime, I’ll queue up a couple of asks and maybe a few reblogs to appear after this, just so the most recent thing on my blog isn’t this mess.

Regardless of how people react to this, I am sorry about what happened. But I’m thankful for each and every one of you, and I hope that everything can kind of go back to where it was eventually. It’ll just take time, but I’m willing to work toward it if you all are. The people I interact with and the space I’ve created on here for myself (and hopefully, for others, too) has always been a place of love and support for me. It’s not something I ever take for granted - so thank you for all that you’ve done. I love you all <3

Sincerely,

Kathrynn

#personal #my apology #I'm sorry this is so long #but I'm nervous so I rambled #queued post

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elle-stevens · 5 years

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The Break Up Blog - Day Thirty Nine

This is getting harder and harder to do every day.

Don’t get me wrong, keeping a blog about my feeling since breaking up with X has been helpful and even cathartic to an extent. But dredging up every moment in my memory and every feeling that comes with it is exhausting.

I slept alright save for the hours when I kept waking up and stressing about class. Every Friday, the students now have to write a diary entry in the books that C designed. Simple in theory, right? Except the elementary students at our school seem to genuinely have zero English skills. Or they have the requisite skills, but get completely flustered when they actually have to use it, kinda like me and my ambiguous relationship with Mandarin.

So I changed the topics for grades 3 and 4 and thought that simplifying their task would help by writing vocabulary on the board. It kinda worked with grade 3 and all the students in my class managed to write a few sentences each.

But grade 4?

For 40 minutes, I sincerely thought that I was in a zoo and all the wild animals had gotten loose. One of my autistic students had a very OCD day and wouldn’t stop shouting out ‘The bus isn’t here!’ in Korean, too many of my boys were queuing up in front of the classroom computer to use the online dictionary. And of course, SB had a dumb fight with with another student, E, and legit walked out of my class and slammed the door on top of it.

I’d love to say that the latter pissed me off simply because SB was in the middle of it. But he’s actually been relatively well-behaved in class in the last two weeks, almost like he’s had a lobotomy. And honestly, by the time he pulled that crap on me, I was too exhausted and dumb-founded to take offence. Now that I’m thinking on it now, I definitely need to tell SH about what happened in class. I hate to bother her about it because she already has to deal with this nonsense as their homeroom teacher, but I’ve just had it with the total disregard for my authority in class.

I was forced to sit in the grade 6 homeroom and wait for them even though I knew they wouldn’t make it for class while having their school event during the day. I don’t get why the homeroom teachers force the foreign teachers to hang about like chumps during school events in the unlikelihood that the event will finish early and we’ll be able to pick up the slack with the dregs of the class period? It’s starting to feel like I went back to university two years ago and got a teaching certificate for nothing. I’m just an over-glorified babysitter at this point in my life and it sucks.

N came to find me while I kept the grade 6 classroom warm (or chilled in this case because the afternoon was hot af). She wanted to have her ‘official’ conversation with me about renewing my contract at the school. I did change things up a bit when N mentioned tried to persuade me to consider applying for a teaching position in the high school department of our school. I initially wanted to do that months ago, but ML was pretty adamant that I was unable to change the terms of my contract since my school only hires high school teachers in the second semester and my contract ends in February next year. Never mind the fact that I initially interviewed for a high school position at my school before coming to my city, but got recruited into the elementary department at the last second when one of the teachers broke his contract in the middle of the school year. But who really cares about minor details like that?

I told N I’d keep an open mind about it if she could swing things for me to work teach high school instead. I stopped considering it before when I thought that ML would stay in the managerial position for another year. But C told me that ML’s going back to Korea next year, so working under a new manager might actually be better. H might get pissed off at me for switching departments though; she’d probably take it as a personal affront to her management style. It is in part because of that, but honestly, I’m just done in general with this school. It’s too much bullshit layered with bullshit at every turn.

After my meeting with N, I went back to my office, only for H to talk to me about a punishment I gave my fifth graders two days when they wouldn’t shut up in class. Instead of disciplining the students in my own way, H suggested that I turn the classroom in a democracy and let the students decide on their own punishments and rewards in the near future. It’s a great idea in theory, but now that I think about it, it’s basically an FU to the teacher. As it turns out, I’m pretty much irrelevant in my own classroom.

And people actually wonder why teachers want to leave this school...

I saw N and ML talking out of the corner of my eye while H talked to me. I guess N gave ML the ‘good news’ about me wanting to leave. I could care less at this point. H’s eyes looked strangely red-rimmed during our talk, like she was seconds away from crying. I wonder if she heard about my news already? Who knows and honestly, who cares at this point?

I’m over it.

Still, I sat with CI at lunch and we had a good talk about our different classroom woes. He’s become a really good work buddy, I’m glad that C picked him out from a sea of what was probably a lot of crap teachers. Even talking to N about some of my minor grievances helped too. I even found time during the day to perform surgery on a clay doll one of my third grade girls made that had its leg and sword hilt (I don’t know what kids are into these days, lol) ripped off by her classmate. I went home to get my glue gun because the departmental ones are suddenly missing and I sutured the old sport’s injuries. Then I left said doll in the third grade homeroom, I hope my little chica finds it there.

All of this dumb shit that happened - It’s ok really when I think about it. Now I know that I’m done with being treated this way. Good luck to my school principal with finding teachers that are half as competent and caring as C, me and even CI, even though he’s staying another year.

After all the fuckery at work and the number that X pulled on me, I’m done with people taking me for a James Blunt in my professional and personal capacities.

‘James Blunt’ in this case is British rhyming slang. Do yourself a favour and look it up, it’ll give you a good laugh.

I may look like a ‘James Blunt’, I may even act like a ‘James Blunt’ when I’m taking the piss. But don’t get it twisted: I am not a fucking James Blunt by any stretch of the imagination. You can’t fuck with me and expect me to treat you the same way ever again.

It only needs to happen once. And after that, I’m done with you. I may smile at you and even help you with things from time to time. But I will never open myself up to you again.

That’s what happened to X in the end and I can see how it will happen with some of my current colleagues as the months progress. I thought it was kind of C watching C and H’s friendship turn to shit in real time when H became our manager. But I get how it happened: when you get a little of anything good, it makes you selfish and you end up turning on the people around you.

I did that when I dated X. She became the centre of my universe and I lost track of everything and everyone. I even had a huge fight with P and G because of X when I used too much bandwidth from the family router to video call X every day for a year.

That was a really bad fight and the way my siblings looked at me while it happened still haunts me. It’s like they saw me, but an uglier version, and they didn’t like it one bit.

I shudder when I think of that memory, especially when it was all for nothing with X. I nearly lost my relationship with my brother and sister over X. And what the fuck was even the point of it all?

I don’t ever want to be that way again the next time I fall in love. I want to go into the whole affair with my eyes completely open.

There were some positives at work. Besides having some good heart-to-hearts, my colleagues really liked the coconut tarts I baked for them. Even if they were just blowing smoke up my ass, it felt good to hear the compliments and know that I’m not sucking at this too.

I’m feeling really tired today, so I hope I have enough energy to exercise in a little while. I ordered dinner from a chicken restaurant below my apartment complex, I’ll cook something tomorrow. Since R wants me to charge me an arm and a leg for a physiotherapy consultation, I made an appointment at a local clinic tomorrow instead so a doctor can look at my right arm that keeps twinging whenever I move it. I hope someone speaks English there, I’m tired of floundering about like a beached whale with zero Chinese speaking skills.

My sinuses are still pestering me, but not as bad as before. I still have to check through my student diaries this weekend and mark and correct them. That’s a problem that can wait till tomorrow after I’ve had a good night’s sleep. D’s birthday gift finally arrived, I also have to figure out when I can drop it off at her apartment.

I just want to rest this weekend and not think about anything. After Sunday, I’ll be done with my current workout programme; I might switch to something simpler like swimming after this.

I’m just done.

My body and brain need a proper rest.

I might stop writing these blog entries after Sunday is over, I’ll see how I feel. Right now, I don’t want to think and just drift off deeper into myself.

#breakupblog #daythirtynine

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