I just wanna be under the full weight of somebody, legs pulled back, hands intertwined with and pinned by theirs, making out all messily because I’m so gone and dumb, saliva is just going everywhere on our faces, then they pull back enough to rest their forehead on mine so they can stare into my eyes while I whimper and whine out strings of “please, need you, wan’ you, just you”s and “‘m yours, ‘m yours..all yours, make me yours please”s leading us to just cum over n over
grian works at coffee shop Called the pesky bird ….. scar is a usual …. has the most complex orders….flirts with grian a lot…..is actually grians favorite customer…….
This is the fifth overall time I’ve come out as a lesbian (to myself among others) and I keep asking myself… why do we need to keep having this conversation? Why do I keep hoping, PLEADING, that I could make it work with a man only to come back here again?
Accepting I like women was so easy. I was five years old. My best friend’s older sister was the love of my life. From then on I knew I liked girls.
Accepting I DON’T like men is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Through so many broken relationships with men where I’ve kept thinking, “if I just keep trying eventually I’ll be attracted to him,” “if I pretend he’s a woman then I can kiss him,” “he likes me so much I should at least give him a chance,” the concept of being a lesbian has been this terrifying thing. It’s like…if I’m a lesbian then I’ll never have that perfect little life that I’m supposed to have with the husband, 2.5 kids, picket fence, whatever.
Do I even want that life? I’m not sure. I want to work. I want to travel. Writing is my life. But it’s been so drilled into my head that, because I’m a woman, my worth is DEFINED by being the object of a man’s affection. A woman is worthless unless she can serve a man…
I don’t know. I’m trying to break out of the patriarchal mold of linking my selfhood and worth to a man’s approval but it’s so hard.
Queen of tears, actually kim soohyun + kim jiwon’s chemistry and pairing has been my weekly healing from my overbearing work. I’ve been so burnt out but this show kept me moving weekly and i’m quite sad it’s ending this week.. feeling a bit depressi