#should i start streaming art to twitch???? i always stream to discord but i might start doing twitch NJKASNDGKAJ we wiww see | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

keefwho · 8 months

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September 12 - 2023 Tuesday

8:55am

I'm having the thought that I don't want to be seen today. I'm having the thought that I won't be able to live up to my own standards let alone anyone else's. I'm having the thought that it's all too hard and I'll never be able to keep up. I'm having the thought that if I don't figure out who I am, I will be left behind. I'm having the thought that I can't show myself around other people when I'm like this. I feel a sinking sensation in my chest. It makes me want to stop trying. It makes me want to hide until it goes away.

3:05pm

What I'm "changing" right now is instead of giving into the urges to scroll twitter, turn on a Twitch stream, or join a discord VC to distract myself, I'm sticking to nothing but music to occupy me while I do my afternoon work. These urges I have aren't things I really want to do, they are just a means to escape how I feel about myself right now. I trick myself sometimes by thinking it's always a good thing to be around people, it means I'm growing a relationship with them. But that might not be true. I struggle to put my heart into most people so spending time with them is more of a chore than anything and because of that I think nothing is really grown or nourished. The truth is right now I feel inadequate and am very likely to self sabotage any activity I pursue. Maybe I just need to sit with myself until I'm in a state more ready to take action.

11:15pm

First of all I'm late to bed because I felt the need to take care of myself more out of stress relief than anything. Probably shouldn't have just because of how late it is. I think really I just wanted to feel something good today.

I had turkey spam, green beans and carrots, and spicy ramen for breakfast. It's one of my favorites. I set up the Vortex mod manager so I can start looking into Starfield mods. I was a little late to stream because I was deciding whether or not I wanted to stream today at all and I decided to which I regretted. I just didn't want to interact today, I felt upset at myself for lots of things and didn't want to show it. Work went VERY slow and my stepdad called me out to help him move big logs halfway through which was annoying. I do like the manual labor sometimes though. I stopped my stream halfway through and very slowly finished it off stream, although I still did it within the maximum time frame. I felt terrible for my performance today.

I cleaned up a little my putting away my clothes and taking the garbage out/cleaning the garbage area. I have a bad habit of half assing cleaning surfaces, I'm learning to do it more properly which does take more time. So I did that and felt pretty good about it. Lunch was fish sticks with mac n cheese and a pear cup. I watched some Chris Chan during my lunch break.

The request today was from someone who had lied to me about their age awhile back in a dangerous way but they are of age now and are a patreon of mine. Today Daisy mentioned how I should have blocked them whenever that happened and I should have, even my friend Bramble said that closer to the time it happened. I wish I did too but I was in an interesting place where I was trying not to cross my business and personal life. Obviously in hindsight even my business should not be associated with someone like that but at the time I had cut them from my social life and allowed them to come back when they turned 18 to start paying me for art again if they wanted. In the end it kinda worked out but I do still feel weird about having them around. But they only talk to me as an artist, I have no desire to actually hang out with them.

I made good progress on this old MLP pic of mine again, it should be done tomorrow. I'm trying to start a new habit where I specify the project I'm going to work on earlier in the day so that I'm not left choosing when the time comes.

After work I played some Starfield until Daisy wanted to play Just Dance. It was a short session because we were so tired. Then we hopped into my server VC which I was looking forward to until a very annoying guy joined and the uncomfortable individual I just wrote about. Daisy wanted me to stream Mother 3 for her which I was happy to do even though I was just grinding the same enemies over and over for awhile. I didn't have anything else I wanted to do specifically so it was okay. The call sucked though because those 2 guys where giving me a headache and wouldn't shut up for half the time. I barely said anything the whole time.

Daisy and I chatted a little bit while she was in bed afterwards. I opened up a little bit about how things have gotten more intense lately and how scary it is, but in a good way. I feel relieved that it's being talked about in this capacity finally, it's like I've been holding myself back because I didn't know if my feelings were being reciprocated as much as they are. I still don't feel like that but that's either because I still need to process it or its my long term issue of self doubt. Either way I consciously know what is true and that gives me the opportunity to make myself believe it.

Today I was very moody in general. I was frustrated and sad at a lot of things. In general I feel like I'm not making as much progress as I want. I've literally failed in the sense that I haven't done a good job of refining my behavior to invoke actual change. I'm still chilling in my comfort zone and I know I am. In some ways I'm afraid to take action and get better because any change is scary to me. Sometimes I feel like it's not worth it even trying because again I think it's impossible for me to be good.

My current formula is to keep trying anything I think of to see it's effects. It's been a lot of experimentation which brings a lot of failure but I cant lose sight that anything I try will teach me something. My current priority of sticking to my schedule and finishing certain projects is being undermined by my lack of self praise for actually doing these things. I think I need to redirect my focus from just getting things done to realizing what I have gotten done. I tend to do things and move on like I never even did them. It's no wonder I feel bad basically convincing myself that I did nothing of note when I actually did.

Another one of my ideas to try is to make a hierarchy of sorts for the kinds of things I can do and the requirements that precede them. To most people this would seem weird and maybe it is but I might be autistic af and this might be my solution. I need to write things down for later or else I will always forget it and repeat the same cycles over and over again.

Edit: I meant to add noting at least one positive thing I did today to counter how I always evaluate my negative thoughts in the morning. Today despite feeling so bad, I did get my schedule done in it's entirety which is impressive. Hours of work got done.

#journal #diary #thoughts #moody #upset #bad day #sad #getting better #self growth

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venicebixch · 2 years

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y/n and vinnie are friends through streaming. like they met online and started streaming together quite a bit. but what y/n doesn't know, is that vinnie absolutely loves y/n. but here's the catch. y/n is "faceless" and she hasn't done a face reveal but is planning one soon. she does the face reveal (on her stream) while vinnie watches with his stream and he literally stops breathing for a second and his face turns "🔴". chat notices and starts freaking out because

1. vinnie is as red as he can be

2. y/n is absolutely gorgeous

after they both end their streams, vinnie talks to y/n on discord and asks her out on a date nervously. she agrees since they both live in LA and he gets all excited and giddy. then they live happily ever after

- 💫

Faceless part 1

fluff. this will be 2 parts and the 2nd part will be coming soon, maybe tomorrow. enjoy!

Her routine is something he’s come to look forward to and, admittedly, she’s something he’s come to look forward to. If he had to describe her he’d use words like charismatic, funny, kind, and warm.

He met her through Twitch some months ago and they quickly became good friends, often streaming together. She’s become a safe space for him, taking him away from the worries and stressors of day to day life for a few hours each week.

He taps his nails anxiously against his desk, waiting for his computer to load. She should be on by now. Finally, the screen pops up and with all the controls laid out in front of him, he makes the proper connections and turns his own camera on before speaking.

“Hey, can you hear me?” He asks.

“Yeah, I can hear you!” The melodic sound of her voice instantly brightens his mood and he smiles.

“Alright,” he chuckles.

“Are you live yet?”

“No, not yet,” he shakes his head.

“Me either. While I have you alone, I wanted to ask you what you thought about something,” her tone turns quieter, almost shy.

He cocks his head to the side and leans forward a bit, excitedly wondering what she’s going to say. “Yeah?”

She takes a deep breath before speaking nervously. “I uh… well. I thought about doing a face reveal tomorrow,” she says.

His jaw drops and his heart starts to flutter. A small burning feeling builds in his stomach at the thought of it - finally seeing her for the first time.

She’s well known in the gaming community, and her faceless streams are notorious. She’s never once shown her face to him or her own audience, which is impressive considering she’s managed to amass nearly as many followers on here as he has, and is coming closer by the day to even outgrowing him on the platform.

She’s thought about doing a face reveal many times before but the idea of it is overwhelming to her. She’s always been tucked away, safely behind the screen and free of judgment or ridicule. Completely anonymous, except for her first name. Coming out of that safety is going to feel like breaking out of a cocoon.

She’s given small descriptors of herself; specifically of her hair color, eye color, and skin tone but that’s all. It’s been enough to elicit many drawings and various forms of fan art from her viewers of their best guesses and fantasy versions of her, though.

And they’re all quite flattering but at the end of the day, those fan arts are just that… fantasies and guesses. And he’s spent many restless nights nearly driving himself crazy wondering what she really looks like.

He quickly realizes his mouth is hanging open and corrects it before speaking again, trying his best to play it cool. “Yeah! I think that sounds like a great idea,” he smiles.

“Really? I’m pretty nervous about it,” she says softly.

“Why?”

“I feel like most of the reason people follow me is because of the mystery surrounding me. Once that mystery is gone, people might lose interest,” she admits.

“What?” He shakes his head adamantly. “No, they won’t. I mean, I think the mystery is exciting but people follow you because you’re… you. You’re funny, you’re great at literally every game you play, you’re extremely engaging. People love it. People love you, not your mystery,” he says.

On the other side of the screen, his kind words make her smile. “Thank you, Vinnie. That means a lot to me.”

“Of course… only do it if you’re comfortable, though,” he says, then pauses and wonders if he should say the next thing he’s thinking. But the pause doesn’t last long before his voice takes on a mind of its own and the words come out before he can stop them. “I’ve gotta admit, I’ve always wondered what you look like. Not that it really matters, but I’ve always been eager to put a face to your lovely voice.”

She takes in a small gasp, blushing harshly at his words as a burn creeps through her chest.

‘Lovely voice”

He’s always been fairly sweet to her but he’s never said anything like that before.

Is he flirting with me? She thinks to herself.

She’s always found him to be quite attractive, like most girls do. And though she’d have a hard time admitting it, a small part of the reason she’s so nervous is because he’d get to see her and the thought of that is intimidating.

She shakes her head as if to shake her thoughts away. There’s no way he, Vinnie Hacker, is flirting with her when he’s got millions of girls at his feet at any given moment. One of those fashion influencers or models would surely be his pick over her when he’s never even laid eyes on her before.

No, he’s definitely just being nice, she thinks.

She swallows and clears her throat. “I uh - um… okay,” she stutters. As soon as the words leave her mouth, her hands immediately cover her face as she scolds herself for her response.

Dummy, she thinks, mocking herself.

He was hoping for a better response. He quickly looks down, trying to hide his confusion while wondering if she felt weirded out by what he said.

“I didn’t mean that in like… a weird way,” he says, trying to redeem himself.

Her heart sinks and her stomach turns but she quickly tries to adjust her emotions.

Ugh, of course he wasn’t flirting with me but I knew that already, she reasons with herself.

“Oh, I know. I didn’t think you did. I’m just uh,” she pauses briefly. “I guess I’m just kinda out of it today… I didn’t sleep well or something. My mind isn’t with it right now, sorry if I sound weird,” she says.

“You don’t,” he smiles at the camera to hide his disappointment.

“Okay,” seeing his smile relaxes her a little and she takes a small breath. “Okay, then. Tomorrow it is.”

“I’m excited!” His voice is enthusiastic, making her smile again. “You mind if me and my stream join when you do it? Or… if not, I totally understand. It may be overwhelming as it is.”

“Uh,” she thinks for a moment, then figures the clips are probably going to make rounds on the internet anyway so a few thousand more for the live reveal won’t make much of a difference. “I guess that would be fine! I might even need your support… it’d be nice to have a friendly presence with me.”

“Definitely,” he chuckles, trying not to blush at her words. “Okay, then. Just let me know when you’re ready to go on tomorrow.”

“Will do!”

“Alright,” he says. “You ready to get into this game?”

She laughs lightly. “Ready as ever.”

#vinnie hacker #vinnie #vincent hacker #vinniehacker #vincenthacker #vinnie fanfic #vinniehackerfanfic #vhackerr #vinnie x reader #vinniehackerimagines #gamer!vinnie #vinnie hacker fluff

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sanderssidessims · 4 years

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Hello Guys, Gals, & (of course) Nonbinary Pals!

This is the Tumblr for my simming/gaming Twitch SandersSidesSims!

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★ Who is SandersSidesSims?

SandersSidesSims is run by a dude named Finn. He is 32 years old, trans FTM, gay, and exhausted. He very much loves Sanders Sides and making people laugh, and so it is with that thought in mind that he created SandersSidesSims!

Also, as a fun note, I decided to use a unicorn as my mascot/logo. I am currently using a clip art unicorn (he’s dabbing so it fits) but I will be commissioning an official one soon, so if you are an artist and interested, please Submit or DM me your commission information.

★ What is the purpose of my Twitch Stream?

The main purpose of SandersSidesSims is to stream Sims 4 gameplay from creation of the sides/ships, to actual gameplay, to fun little challenges set by all of you.

I also have purchased Minecraft, a game I have never once played and am completely out of my element, so that I can can have something other than just Sims 4 to share with you guys. I did get skins for each of the Sides as well as Remy and Emile so when we do Minecraft, it’s like the Sides are playing. (You guys are totally allowed to laugh and poke fun as I learn since I am a total Minecraft newb!

★ What links can viewers/fans use to keep in touch/keep updated?

Okay here are the links that will get you everywhere that I currently have my Twitch identity connected to:

Twitch [ http://www.twitch.tv/sanderssidessims ] Discord [ https://discord.gg/NgwErbH ] (this is an invite link, if doesn’t work PM me) Patreon [ https://www.patreon.com/SandersSidesSims ] Tumblr [ https://sanderssidessims.tumblr.com ] Steam [ https://steamcommunity.com/id/SandersSidesSims/ ]

★ I am a minor. Can I still watch and support?

YES! ABSOLUTELY! In fact, I pretty much plan to be a non-adult oriented type streamer. That means anything that would be deemed inappropriate for minors is a complete non-issue. I do curse in reality, so there is a chance a word or two might slip through, but you guys are TOTALLY allowed to get onto me about it if, and when, it happens as I am here for everyone, regardless of age.

★ Is there anything we can do as viewers/fans to help support you?

Okay, so! As of right now I do not have any plans on doing this professionally. That may as of yet change, however, the main point of all of this is to HAVE FUN together while I’m playing something I have always loved and has brought me happiness.

That being said, streaming is a HUGE undertaking and I would love to be able to get all the Sims 4 games, which I do not yet have, as well as better equipment and things for streaming. If you guys are financially set and taken care of and want to help me grow in this, my Patreon exists for that purpose (though there will be more purposes for it in the future) and I have one single monthly Tier at $2 a month.

It’s basically there as like a “tip”. I will have more Tiers in the future once I have things I can award for them outside of just the base everything goes, which is what the Tip Tier is for. Also once I start drawing and using it for my art as well.

★ I can’t afford $2 a month. Is there anything else we can do to support?

Of course! The above is just if you can afford it! Please do not feel obligated. There are other ways that you can help:

Reblog this post. (Once is fine, but feel free to periodically do it as that would be so helpful to me! :D)

Tell your friends! (The more the merrier, am I right?)

Come to my streams! (This one is a no brainer.)

Join my channel’s Discord Server. (Interact and have fun with other viewers!)

★ What is the purpose of the Tumblr page in regards to your Twitch?

Great question! So, I will be a little different than other Twitch peeps in that I am a fanfiction writer/future author and that will come into effect in this blog. As I am playing a game we are playing through together, I will likely have times where I get muse for a fanfiction or fan art (once I actually have talent in fanart) and so I will post those here.

I will also answer questions about the characters in the games here that the game doesn’t really answer (i.e. headcanons and in-character answers for questions that are directed at the characters).

I will also likely reblog stories and art from other fanders. Help use this to signal boost fan stuff! So if you want to rec me stuff, send it in! :D

★ Anything else we should know?

Nope, this is a new journey for all of us! Let’s enjoy it together! Lastly, I just want to thank each and every one of you for your interest and support! Let’s do this!

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I want to thank everyone who reblogs, comments, and likes this post! I also want to super duper thank anyone and everyone who chooses to join me in this little (big?) passion project of mine!

Thank you!!

#ts logicality #ts prinxiety #ts roceit #ts moceit #twitch #gamer boy #sanders sides #thomas sanders #sanderssidessims

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pioxys-twitchpp · 6 years

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Until Next Time~

Hey guys! long time no see. I'm here to bring you an update. Well, one last update that is, cause now I have to speak real level with all you cool followers who stuck with me over the years. ( I know it sounds cheesy and lame, but I couldn't appreciate you guys more than now in this period of my works, and what I do) After 2016's Phancero Era runs, I've been doing some heavy thinking. where should I go with my updates? What do people really want to see from this blog? Are there people who still follow the blog & the twitch Plays pokemon tags? Do I have enough time to keep sitting through each run updating you guys, compared to 2014 - 2015? (my best years on TPP) Most important, do I still have the passion to keep doing what I'm doing here?

So it might sound saddening when I say this, but I think we already knew this was coming for a long time now, to really not be surprised. It's time for the old TPP blog to close shop here. Truth is, my passion for twitchplayspokemon left a long time go, and while I visit the stream here and there, joke around with the friends I've met in the community discord, and post TPP works & lurk reddit on somewhat daily bases, everything related to twitchplayspokemon & Ask-TwitchPKMN been very underground for me. Also no this is not a leaving TPP post. I’m just closing this o’l gal of a blog down. Just keep reading for more details.~

To put it in explanation: It finally hit me that runs hasn't been the same ever since Prism ended. I hope that magic still been around for you guys in the newer runs though! For me I don't really feel it anymore. Now days I tune into a run for like the first 2 or 3 days, and then I tune out and come back if anything catch my eye happens. That or something comes up that makes me miss a chunk of it, and I lose interest. Then while PBR betting always seem to get better and better over time, it's just not doing it for me anymore. I just make my visits, bet, and go. Nothing else really to add to that. My creative drives (art, lore, etc.) have gone to other places. So not only I make time to update a run, I don't really post my TPP works here anymore. As you can see though, Ask-TwitchPKMN still up, and even that I struggle to get new comics out. Having updates to every week, to every month. That's not even mentioning how life stuff either made me lazy, or too busy to do anything to keep updated here. So in the end, I'm just gonna leave it as that, and best safe to say it's time for this blog to finally have a peaceful rest.

I thank you guys really on all the adventures I got to share with you. all the wacky post, rage quits, sweet chin music to my hopes & dreams, random starmies, and sharing my passion to those who followed this era of my life in this blog. Only reason I didn't make this sooner was cause I thought I still had it in me to keep going. I did say "This is the year of the minun", but I was more inactive than I was in 2016. You only fail if you quit, and well maybe I am, but I think it's the right choice for this place to move on. I wanna make something clear though. This is NOT a "i'm leaving TwitchPlaysPokemon" post. I'm not going anywhere. I'm still around being a goofball furry in the discord. I'm still lurking and posting new comics of Ask-TwitchPKMN over at TPPKappa subreddit. I still post new pictures here and there when a run happens to help with lore and cool art. I just feel announcing this is the best way to go, and not look back, and if I do manage to come back here, it's gonna be for a special run. No not Ultra Sun or Ultra Moon, or a future run that involves gen 8 on the switch. I'm talking about some kind of super special anniversary run, or a run that's declared the final run of TwitchPlaysPokemon. So that leaves me with this final segment:

Where do I go to follow you now then?

Well since my original Tumblr is dead in the water too (seriously i never update it), you can see what I'm doing here in my deviantart. I update like a slug there, but at least you get to see way more often journals what I've been up to, hows life, some silly comics & pictures, and any updates to newer comics like Ask-TwitchPKMN/Solareon Wars. I'm also still around on the TwitchPlaysPokemon subreddit & community discord to be a goofball with anyone there. Trust me it can get wacky and weird 50% of the time, but the people there been fun and good to me. Hope they will on your end too.

Hmmm anything else? I guess I should talk about the status on ASk-TwitchPKMN too. Simply put: I'm not being consistent on uploads anymore. It's where I want, when I want, which is why it takes forever to upload. It can be weekly, it can be monthly. I always try my best to get one out once per week. This week I got lucky and did 2 uploads! :D Other then that, I'm going to be focusing on the current Sol Wars stage before adjusting the changes to final act. I've opened a series 2 blog, but trust me, nothing gonna go on there for a long time. I just made this for a fresh new start, and the day I am ready to work on it. I'll be trying to get more busy on my TPPDev team work too, since I've been lacking this entire year. Trust me the projects we're working on might actually get you very excited in the future! So look out for that eventually.

Well with that said, it's time to for me to roll. Hope to see you guys whether if it's chatting, asking in ATP8+, or mostly following my works on deviantart & reddit. Until that one special status run happens, it's time to let this blog sleep for good. 2,292 wacky post, 463 followers to see it all. It's literally been a great run here. Stay pretty and hope you have a fantastic week from here on out. :3

Pioxys Out~

#twitch plays pokemon #tpp #pokemon #comic #comic post #blog update #update #pkmn trainer #pioxys #staryu #azumarill #z. f mt #marion #flareon #solareon #until we meet again everyone~

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onychaos · 6 years

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New updates

Let’s talk about what is going on. I shall go into “great detail” with these topics.

Oh boy, can’t wait to make the internet mad with my silly reasons.

You can CTRL + F to find the topic you wish to view if, things get too long to read. :P

Table of contents

Inactive Twitter

speedrunning

Streaming

Sonic Hack

New things

Inactive twitter

Ok, so, I’m sure 4 or 6 people noticed but my old twitter account @Soniksama is now inactive. I mean, it’s in the bio but people don’t read bios, that’s silly. Back on topic.

What does this mean for me? Well I’m fine and well. I feel pretty happy about doing this and making a new account. But I shall give my reasons for why I did this.

I wanted a new start

I wanted to start over on Twitter. I was not happy with the current account SonikSama. I wanted to have a do over and make a new name for myself, and distance myself from speedrunners and some people and toxic users

While I did have “friends” on the other account. My twitter was full of friends who left Twitter or couldn’t get back in. And the other side was people that followed me cause I was friends with someone else.

I like being followed, but if, it means being followed by people who are there, just to add a number to your follower count. I am the kind of guy where if, a friendship is not mutual in any way, it’s not worth having in my eyes. This is why I followed mutuals on my new account.

And I wanted to make new friends, my old friends, I have outgrew them

And I rather not be “known” as a speedrunner on my new account. I’m not too fond of speed running to begin with. I will talk about this, later on.

I wanted to re-brand myself as something else, using Sonik has got pretty old and it needs to be a change. And my Girlfriend gave me the best name.

I followed all the people who I have a mutual friendship with, and made one exception to someone who is not a mutual.

These are reasons that you will disagree with, but they are my reasons and hope you understand, if, not, oh well. I’m not gonna worry.

You might be asking “what’s the new Twitter account, Sonik?” Well, chances are, I’m following you. I am following people I trust, and are mutual friends.

There is a chance, I might have missed some friends. As long as you are still following @SonikSama on Twitter, I will be able to find you, If, you unfollow Soniksama, I’m not going to bother to look for you.

2. Speedrunning

I have been more off then on with speedrunning games. I do see the point. Yes, you speedrun to test yourself, and see if, you can improve your skills and beat your time, and maybe beat someone else time.

I can understand the drive to be better, and that’s great. But this hobby is a mixed bag. Speedrunning can bring the very best out of people, and it can bring the worst out of people. A double edge sword

I been “speedrunning” for far too long, and I reached my peak in speedrunning, and as such, I made a list of 10 games I have speedrun. You can view said list here. https://www.twitch.tv/collections/UoJnnnOx-xSHUw

While I no longer care for speedrunning, that much, and their community, ugh, I will still do SRL races, and Individual Levels of games. Who knows, I may add speedrunning to my future games, but who knows

But I have to see what the future holds, If I do any speedruns, I will upload them to Twitch but I won’t put them on SRC, at least, the sonic speedruns anyway.

You thought I was gonna say something bad about speedrunning. Didn’t you?

3. Streaming

Ah, this is something I lost interest in. I used to enjoy streaming to entertain viewers and chat with viewers, and other streamers. But as streaming gets more advanced on twitch, the harder it becomes to entertain viewers, let alone get any viewers.

I will give my reasons why I lost interest in streaming.

Shitty ISP or Twitch messing up.

There no one to really entertain anymore

I’m a small channel, I have no way of getting noticed or entertaining people

No one really watches, as most of the stuff I have done was done better by someone else.

I don’t enjoy streaming as much (After 5 years of streaming.. Damn, it has been that long), going from entertaining viewers to no one is a bummer.

“You should not worry about views, stream for fun” That used to work back in the old days of Twitch. Today, viewers seem to watch people speedruns, people rage at games, like fools, Social eating streams, IRL streams, and new game streams.

And the most common thing is Donation streams where people pay the streamer to watch freak out from bits or to donate for their “charity” Ugh.

*Streamer drama

It seems to be a common trend. Some shit is always going down. Twitch is full of nice people, but more than often, you meet the bastard who is nice but will stab you in the back later.

People assuming that other streamers are copying them, when they themselves copy others.

Or disgusting is, people ganging up on those who were done wrong.

Why should I bother to stream when no one shows up? I can’t really compete with other streamers or have anything to offer that hasn’t already been done.

With the way Twitch is now, it’s hard for small channels like me to get anywhere. You have to stay relevant, in order to keep up on Twitch’s rat race. Yes, Twitch gives us the power to host to give small or big channels time in the light but it’s kinda worthless as it gets used on “bigger” streamers

So, to end this part, I will be doing 5 streams, assuming things go well.

Dec 5th, Dec 10th, Dec 15th, Dec 20th, Dec 25th And 31st as one bonus stream to end the last stream on new years

Game list below

Sonic Colors (if it works, and I can find it.)

Mario Kart Wii

crypt of the necrodancer

mighty switch force

Super Meat Boy

Bonus stream

Once this happens, Any future streams will be for SRL races. But only time will tell how I will feel about streaming later in the future.

EDIT: I think I will take a break from streaming for a long while. :P

Sonic Hack

Boy. So I made a post about this topic. The main art for the hack is gone and level layout for Green hill Act one is, but it seems that levels that are edited will be wiped by some odd bug. So this hack is dead. It might just be a Special stage hack.

But it’s safe to say, this project is not gonna happen.

New things

I been getting back into recording Let’s plays

Working on game dev stuff.

I have plans on making a Youtube let’s play Discord server.

Been making reviews, and having fun

Been making new friends

Life has been pretty sweet. ‘v’

#blog post #sonic romhack #Speedrunning #streaming #update #twitch #twitch.tv #my posts #onychaos #2017

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mattgambler · 6 years

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Status Report

TLDR: The big Dad cannot support me financially for much longer and I explain what exactly that means for us. I disclose how much I have earned in the last year, paint a best case as well as a worst case scenario, explain how you can help if you so desire and talk about my overall business philosophy. I also included a FAQ section in the end. Ladies and gentlemen, we hoped the day would never come. But last week the big Dad told me that he sadly couldn’t do it anymore. For the past two years he generously backed me every month, while I streamed 6 days a week, 6-10 hours a day. I will be forever grateful for how much he has done for me, allowing me to chase this dream of mine. But he had a tough year and me constantly draining his wallet every month hasn’t helped. We both hoped I would grow quicker than I did, but that doesn’t mean that I’m giving up here or that my chances of ever making it are all that slim. Let me show you the numbers. Here is what I earned last year, every month, including subs, bits, and donations: Jan 17__________ 210,34 € (I had two donations of 100€ each that month) Feb 17__________ 31,74 € Mar 17__________ 28.1 € average income 1st quarter: 90,06 € Apr 17__________ 50 € May 17__________38,28 € Jun 17__________ 59.41 € average income 2nd quarter: 49,23 € Jul 17___________ 27,43 € Aug 17__________ 324,49 € Sep 17__________ 243,91 € average income 3rd quarter: 198,61 € Oct 17__________ 112,39 € Nov 17__________ 199,42 € Dec 17__________ 114,88 € average income 4th. quarter: 142,23 Jan 18__________ 191,54 €

I am showing you this because a) I think it’s interesting and b) because I want to show you that the curve is clearly going up. I don’t have the numbers for 2016, but it looked pretty much like February to May, I probably made less. The big jump in August can be explained by the fact that I got my sub button in June and Twitch keeps the money for 2-3 months in case of refund requests or whatever else can happen to that money. Looking at these numbers I can’t predict the future, but I want to believe. I want to look back at where we were a year ago and where we are now and hope that a year from now things are looking even better. I’m not sure if the channel grew at a slow pace or at a quick one, I have no idea what the average growth rate for streamers like me is and how big of an issue it would be if others grew quicker than me. I don’t really care either. What I do care about is that the past two years were the best of my life and I would absolutely passionately hate to ever stop. Even the thought of streaming less makes my heart cramp a little, because I’m worried that only 4 hours per day or only 3 days a week (or whatever else we might end up doing if we have to) would turn the steady growth of our community into a slow decline. Is that likely? I wouldn’t know, I’ve never tried streaming less before. So - what now? The big Dad was kind enough to ease me into it instead of suddenly cutting off all support. What that means is that according to my calculations I will need to earn about 600 € per month starting in March. 900 € starting in June. 1500€ starting in October. Clearly that is not gonna happen just by streaming, I’m not about to ask you guys to suddenly give me 10 times as much money as you have so far. As a matter of fact I will have to find a dayjob, no matter what happens. However! I still have about 2000€ saved up. The big Dad took care of rent, insurance, etc over the past two years and provided 500€ per month on top of that for me to spend on food, energy drinks, etc. Given that I have money leftover I clearly don’t need 500€ per month, but I felt it would be better to calculate with those numbers instead of shaving off every last cent and then having to realize after 6 months that I was too optimistic. I bring up those 2000€ because that effectively means that I can keep streaming for at least another two months, no matter what. Of course I will. However, sooner or later I will run dry and have to find work. I’m not afraid to not find anything, I’ve done a hundred jobs before I started streaming and I’m confident I can find something immediately if I have to. The question is how much the schedule will suffer because of that. Worst Case I have to take a fulltime job. 40 hours every week, it pays enough for me to get along, but I come home tired everyday and then maybe sit down and stream for 2-3 hours, possibly not even everyday. Even in that case I will live just fine. I won’t go hungry and I won’t have to sleep under a bridge, but I will miss you guys like hell. And worst case many of you will eventually stop missing me and the whole thing dies a slow and painful death. Best Case I have streamed for another three months - and with your support maybe even 4 or 5 - and since then the community has continued to grow and I can now comfortably work for only 30 or even 20 hours per week and still stream a good amount, most people don’t even notice that my dayjob makes me stream a little less. We continue like that for another year or two and eventually I quit my dayjob again because by now I don’t need it anymore. Realistically speaking we will probably end up somewhere inbetween those two extremes. I have always strongly believed in the way I run my stream and that includes how I treat financial support, subscriber goals, etc. This blog entry on its own is already almost violating those beliefs. Accept gratefully what you are given, do not ask for more. I have seen too many people try to milk their audience at one point or another and I would absolutely hate to have any of you feel like I’m doing the same now. So if you are even the slightest bit unsure if you want to support me or not, please don’t. The Donate-Option is only for those that want it, and always will be. However if you always felt like “nah, his dad is taking care of it anyway.” - Well the times of milk and honey are sadly over. Glhf to all of us. :P FAQ “So basically you are asking us for money because you don’t want to get a proper job like the rest of us?“ Yes and no. Obviously I want to keep streaming as much as possible and having a job at the same time makes that impossible. However I never wanted to ask people for money, I even refused to get a donation button for the first 4 months because I felt like I “wasn’t good enough yet”. Even now writing this is something I do because I have to, and be it only because if I dont explain it right away, I will have to do it anyway once people start asking why the schedule got butchered and left to die in a corner. However there is no reason to approach me and explain why sadly you cannot support me. I completely understand. Please don’t try to help if you can’t easily afford it. If you really want to, however, then you can. “I really want to help more, but sadly I can’t.” As I just said - I completely understand. However - there are many ways of helping me out that don’t include money at all. KittyTwo and Monokilho only found me because JohnyEdx told them about my channel. Kaioner was then dragged along by those two (I think). Even more importantly, simply watching the stream is by far the best way to support me (apart from straightup buying my soul with money). Not only from a channelgrowth-perspective but more importantly because I love to have you in chat when I stream. I have no idea how likely this is, but by far my biggest fear for the future is that a radical change in schedule could turn a slow and steady growth into a sudden decline alà “well, he’s gonna stop soon anyway, might as well find a new guy to watch”. Some of you might smile right now and think that I’m an idiot and that I worry too much. Others might have already left, it’s not like I can tell. “I am a subscriber already, and I watch a lot, I’m somewhat surprised your income isn’t already higher given how many subs you have.” You are forgetting that the sub button, while certainly effective at killing aliens, comes with it’s downsides. Twitch and I have a 50/50 split, so for every 5€ that you lose, I get about 2,50. Possibly less, there’s no easy way for me to tell if there’s additional fees, I just get for example 120€ at the end of the month and I have to assume that subs and bits added up to that amount. In comparison, if you give me the same amount using the donation button below the stream, I receive between 4,30€ and the whole 5 €. Even though I’m not sure how that is possible, but my Paypal history shows me that that has happened every now and then. Maybe Paypal had a Happy Hour at some point. Of course - if you use the Donation Button instead of the Subbutton, you don’t get the emotes, and the sub streak message, and the fancy subbadge, etc. It’s your call, but if you want me to keep streaming, one option helps more than the other. “Matt, I read through all of that and you should really do X. We need to raise more money, I recommend you ask for donations every 20 minutes and sell nudes on Discord. Also host more Girlstreamers, and you definitely need to upload more to Instagram.“ Your help is greatly appreciated and I am happy that you are so invested in my stream. But backseating is still a no-go. I have thought about this for two years and I will stick to my ideals, for better or worse. If you are convinced that you have it all figured out better than me, feel free to start your own channel. There are a few rare people that have mastered the fine art of suggesting ideas to me without making it feel like a command, but I am seriously touchy when it comes to how I run my stream. “Matt, will you play X if I give you enough money?“ Depends on the amount and the game, but in 99% of all cases, no. “Matt, will you sleep with me if I give you enough money?“ Depends on the amount and the dickpic, but in 99% of all cases, no.

#status report #Matt Gambler #Stream #donation #business

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