#shithole thats falling apart | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

theskyexists · 1 year

Text

gundam eps i hadnt seen yet

i feel the most sorry for Nika. and Guel of course.

Nika seriously is trying to root them out on her own???? she threatened you with a KNIFE

is Nika going to uh. die? wow. Suletta be strong. Nika honestly is so damn cute lol. shes drawn so....tiny. short and stocky.

their covers instantly blown??

suletta’s shounen power is SO POWERFUL that it trumps all of the realistic stakes in the show. which is why the show is so amazing. it plays the shounen tropes straight IN A REALISTIC WORLD has them work AND have most everybody LOSE as a result. anybody else would have been SPLATTED.

but Sulettas extreme (useful) naivity is actually not frustrating because MIORINE sees through it all. She KNOWS that Suletta was manipulated by her mother. She knows that she is being manipulated also. Question is - does she realise that she needs to prepare to take over the Benerit Group.

how did prospera know that rembran was trying to take over every information system in the world? was it really to stop all war? he was leader of a group selling war machines in order to stop all war? he didnt want pilots suffering experimental tech - alright. he didnt want experimental tech to do the killing - alright. no automated drone strikes basically. hes been cast the villain of course. because he was such a huge dick to mio. and also ordered the strike which killed suletta’s dad and all her mum’s colleagues. why did he do that? because he genuinely believed that they were a threat?

damn, suletta is exactly the wrong person to have seen sophie and norea try to kill nika and hear them talk. because shes so UNBELIEVABLY dumb. idk i think the data storms DO do something bad to her brain. like....shes....shes got low iq for sure. thats ok! its just a little frustrating sometimes. makes for a handy key to the narrative though.

Suletta saw sophie and norea almost KILL Nika but she doesnt respond to them any differently. why does elans stand-in know about norea. why would norea have agreed to the duel with suletta. does she realise shes just that dumb

‘what does she mean about killing miorine-san’ she means LITERALLY KILL HER. KILL HER witH HER HANDS HER GUNDAM HANDS. LIKE YOU DID!!!!

its a good thing Suletta is completely invulnerable to ptsd, unlike everybody else on the team

jezus did they just kill Lauda as well. they’re really letting the game fall apart. (just before i was thinking: isnt it super easy to miss the antenna and kill somebody??)

these girls are not gonna die but damn you kind of want them to FUCK OFF. why are they being so fucking horrible to Nika - its unforgivable they have zero solidarity they are COMPLETE PSYCHOS. i wont forgive it just because earth is a shithole

ok so this is why Norea decided not to splat Nika and Suletta? but now Suletta could beat them in her aerial.

wow the terrorists aim for the cockpit and dont have the regulation program installed. what a suprise! get CHUCHU OUT OF THERE NOW

what the FUCK is their aim? to kill grassley senior? is the Prince trying to get rid of his dad? make way for the new generation?

I LOVE that this series is saying: yeah you got a big trauma at the plant - you THOUGHT we were going back to games bakc to normal nobody talk BUT NO VIOLENCE AND WAR AND THE REALITY OF WAR MACHINES IS COMING TO THE GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ah earth was absolutely destroyed by gundams. and earth seems to be the factory for gundams, going by nikas child labour story

actually i go back on this - sophie is cool as fuck. DO YOU PILOT THAT TOOL OF MURDER FOR HER???? FUCK YEAH. NO PROSPERA SHOUNEN MANTRA IS HOLDING UP TO THAT DELUGE

has shaddiq ACTUALLY set all this up to take over benerit group? damn. does Earth really trust him?

holy fucking SHIT. HOLY SHIT. WHAT???????????????????????????????? Eri....Aerial. wHAT??????????????? what happened. was her hand forced??? did she do it just out of a chance for revenge?? Suletta looks so much like her NO WAY she’s absolutely a clone. for SURE. so eri is taking the curse?? is suletta special at all? is aerial only doing the gund-bits or??

SULETTA’S CONDITIONING ACTUALLY HELD UP TO THAT SHIT????? HOLY SHIT. to sophie dying???screaming about how she wants food, a warm bed and a family? How the gundam are all weapons???

that ending soundtrack is insanely effective. the singing is like beautiful screaming.

and norea didnt even kill suletta for it. she really let suletta live TWICE and sophie died because of it. EVEN THOUGH sophie died because of it.

shes aiming for an even higher permet score than necessary for controlling ALL INFORMATION SYSTEMS? what the hell does that mean. she wants to make eri happy. HOW

jezus. guel needs to suffer less. everybody needs to suffer less.

the opening and ending animations are always soooooooo Suletta/Miorine and i know for this season Miorine is ghostlike bc shes not there. BUT DUDE I NEED THEM TO BE THAT TEAM THAT BLUE/RED TEAM THAT ACTUALLY HELPS PEOPLE....ah please

really? norea blames Nika for sophie’s death? what? its her own fucking fault lol

wow - anyway - Nika didnt even do her phonecall. its not her info that is endangering the cell. fucking hate Norea. her violence is despicable. HATE HER. HATE HER. HATE HER SO FUCKING MUCH. because she beats on the weakest - her OWN. HER OWN FUCKING PEOPLE

SHE NEVER FINISHED HER CALL??????????????????????but now the anime insists that she did. ok i guess i gotta accept that she did?? i find that so fucking hard to accept. just because she WOULD have said SOMETHING to police doesnt mean that she DID and endangered all those people.

ah. shaddiq considers himself earthian. but i didnt understand that economo-babble at all. is it the translation? ‘war partitioning’? which finances space development. why - if you break it, does earth become a place of proxy wars? he wants to give earth weapons in order to deter such wars...but who the fuck is fighting who here. what proxy wars? the worldbuilding is so impossible

are they seriously standing up to a full contigent of the group’s armed forces?? shouldnt the pilots run? arent they precious? ah they distractions. but how can they run after?

i get no sense for how Earths population is doing. tbf if you didnt want dad to die maybe he shouldn’t have gone in to shoot everybody to shit. but i guess in that world, you die wether you use violence or not.

i cant get over Norea blaming Nika for this. Shaddiqs girl literally took the phone from her hand. why the fuck did they send Nika to school if she wasnt fully indoctrinated....why treat her as a disposable asset who doesnt need to know instead of an important LITERAL go-between?

wow what a fucking idiot that jalil. he actually drew their attention. wow. what a fucking dumb idiot bitch

theyre losing SO MANY FIGHTERS and MATERIEL. they must REALLY believe in shaddiq to have risked this.

what the fuck lol. olcott didnt feel a heartbeat? left her to die? turned out shes not dead? shes not even so dead that she became conscious and is surviving being carried around. wtf was olcott doing. i think guels going to be fighting his own company...AGAIN

the person inside the cockpit was toast but the robot was fine???

ah. thats what olcott was thinking. he realised he coldnt get her medical help in time. he made a hard decision.

Guel sure went through uh. character development.

love how first we see them terrorists in faceless suits threatening to murder our protagonists and then we see benerit soldiers murdering the faceless suit terrorists daughter. anway.

wish Suletta and Miorine....could break out. BREAK OUT OF THIS.

so i was right - cathedra really was a response to ONGOING WAR consuming pilots like expendable parts. automating killing. they deliberately gave no context for this at the beginning.

youre telling me that dad rembran set up the marriage game to marry miorine off to a powerful person because she would be safe? how dude lol. and his toxic masculinity prevented him from EVER COMMUNICATING WITH HIS DAUGHTER ABOUT THIS? what the actual fuck. what a terrible father. worse than any other father in this anime

anyway i love how miorine ALWAYS goes around attempting to verify and check information for a full picture. shes so damn smart.

these openings and endings really need to start becoming reality. but how is Suletta going to ACTUALLY make any fuckign difference if she will not acknowledge that she is NOT making the world a better place. that shes flying a weapon. that shes a hypocrite. that shes a pawn. that her mother is not perfect.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WAR-PARTITIONING????????????????? how am i going to understand any of this without understanding this most fundamental anti-war economic strategy??

#DAMN GUNDAM IS HEATING UP WHOOOOOOEY #i need suletta and miorine to get AFFECTED though #like #my stuff #personal #vidi #gundam

1 note · View note

girlwiththehighbeams · 1 year

Text

hi please dont feel the need to read this. im having a bad night and wrote a lot to/about/whatever this is one of my exes. its poorly written and not meant for eyes but i need to get it out. not just out of my body but out into the wild. i dont know if that makes sense.

02052023 liu

the last time i remember seeing you was on my 19th birthday. it’s been a year and change since then. im making a box of annie’s mac n cheese in my mom’s kitchen, sitting on the counter and waiting for the pasta to boil, writing letters to you on my laptop like i used to our sophomore year of high school. the last time i saw you i cried in your car, gave you a bottle of marc jacobs daisy like you used to wear and let me wear when i felt dysphoric. i wasn’t sure if it would be weird to hug you. i think i did. you gave me two bottles of loose leaf tea and a treble clef necklace i’ve since lost, though it’s probably in one of the moving boxes in my bedroom here but i don’t think i care too much to look for it. i’ve dated one person since then, maybe two if you count tori. i half count tori. no one has felt like my home since you. you aren’t my home anymore. i think i might hate you actually. you did incredibly cruel things to me for months, you put me through hell just after i finally escaped my father, you went about life without a second thought for my wellbeing, you lied to me about loving me. do you still think about me the way i think about you? maybe you still write letters to me when youre making dinner too. i doubt that though honestly. you have holloway and meadow (friends i introduced you to. my friends you lied to and took from me.) and you told them you thought you were falling out of love with me before you told me. i found that out when i was looking through your texts with holloway while you slept in our shithole apartment. i loved that apartment. that was home. the two most important people in my life, both now removed. maybe groton estates is cursed. maybe im the one that’s cursed. do you remember that night you made us tomato soup? i was reading adachi to shimamura on the living room chair while ginger cuddled up next to me, and you were off in your little kitchen world making some damn good soup. fuck me that was tasty. we had so much leftover and never ate it. i regret not eating more. i wish i made you more food i was proud of. im not a great cook. i made you a lot of pancakes and french toast and mac n cheese tho. the guinevere elizabeth staples. i wonder if you ever miss them? it wasn’t just the food. when i ran away from my house for a bit i remember i took your car while you were asleep still and went to stop and shop and got stuff for blueberry pancakes and surprised you with breakfast in bed. i made one of the pancakes with blueberries in the shape of a heart. the photo is still on my phone. i just looked at it and honestly, it wasn’t the prettiest. but still, we had the kind of love where i would go out in the morning and make you shitty pancakes to wake you up with alongside a kiss. i don’t really know where im going with this or why im writing this. i miss being loved and for a time you loved me. it’s my belief that once you love someone a part of you never stops loving them. the love you have for them always stays inside you. i carry my love for you every minute of every day, and im not sure if thats a good thing or not. i miss the certainty i had in us. i remember looking up hair stylists when i still wanted that bubblegum pink bob we talked about. one of them had an about me that said they married their high school sweetheart. i remember being so sure that was going to be us. everyone that i’ve spoken to about our relationship says that you changed. you did change a great deal throughout our relationship. aren’t we supposed to love each other despite change? isn’t that wwhat true love is? maybe your grandparents were right. maybe we weren’t truly in love. i still love you. i hate you and i love you and i think about you all the time. youre everywhere i go. youre in my car in my passenger seat. youre in my wardrobe still. i have that flannel you got from your grandfather and that striped crop you never wore the dress you wore to the homecoming i was too scared to go to. youre in my nightmares and my stories and my memories. youre in the bottle of wine i keep in my closet and the joints i roll for myself. i work at the starbucks i used to take you to when you were having bad days, and i think about you every time i make an iced white mocha with cold foam and caramel drizzle. how many times did i place that order for you? i drive past the dunkin you used to work in on my way to school, and i still haven’t broken the habit of checking to see if your car is in the parking lot. i pass your mom’s old apartment complex on the same commute. i still go up there sometimes, just for the hell of it. i still have all those polaroids we took, the sheet from the photo booth at the casino’s arcade, all the letters you wrote me. i was cleaning out my old bedroom and found the parking ticket from when i took you to see the front bottoms. sometimes i listen to maps when i miss you the most. and red swan. i can’t watch attack on titan anymore. youre everywhere in that show. i dont think you ever even read the volumes i got for you for our second christmas. you got me dresses i still wear and bras i dont. my favourite manga and some hot chocolate. i dont know how to end this but i think i dont want to keep writing anymore. i havent stopped crying and my pasta is getting cold.

#rambles in writing

0 notes

benderclub · 2 years

Text

day 2 of freshman year

it fucking sucked

it was kinda okay in the beginning i hung out with my friends and shit

but then i tried to go to geometry AND NOBODY KNEW WHO THE FUCKING TEACHER WAS SO I SPENT THIRTY MINUTES TRYING TO FIND MY CLASS

by this point i am falling apart but im like "i can make it through the day its almost over"

and then after that i spent 10 minutes searching for the wrong class and then realized it was the wrong class halfway through the lecture

now i was in the midst of a breakdown

so i decided "screw you guys im goin home" and i went to the office to see if my uncle could pick me up

but on the way an aid had to help me but she didnt know where she was going and my friend saw me and i started crying significantly more

and then my uncle couldnt pick me up because he wasnt on the right form or some shit so it took 20 minutes for me to leave this shithole

just FHAKFBEJOS

i did get a nice email from said friend asking if i was okay so thats cool

im not gonna respond though cuz idk what to say but i really appreciate shit like that

#benderclub Year 1 #benderclub.txt

0 notes

slutdge · 4 years

Text

andddd now the water is off in my apartment

#it was off last night too and came back on but it just shut off again now while i was doing dishes #im sure itll come back on soon but like #@ god can u give this rat a break pls??#god im exhausted from living here like i cant even come home from work and relax anymore bc this place is falling apart #like im just constantly in a high stress situation and it sucks #im touring a new apartmnt on saturday that looks really nice and is actually bigger for around the same price #in a better neighborhood too bc yknow ive gotten jumped in this one before lmao #so i can go for my little rat strolls at 3 am when i cant sleep #i rlly hope i get it i hate living here so much #i knew it was a shithole going it s it is kinda my fault but like i just couldnt live with my ex anymore #so i took the first place i could find #this place is still preferable to living with him but like. it sucks. and i wanna be somewhere else #ive lived in shitty apartments in and off for way too long i want an actual decent place thats not infested and the water runs clear yknow #i saw my psychiatrist today too and yknow. as usual i was like #yeah im contemplating suicide like 24/7 #and theyre just like thats unfortunate ;// anyways theres nothing i can do but put you on your millionth new medication #i really hope this new med actually does something bc ive been through a million that dont do anything #its only an antidepressant though he hasnt prescribed me a new antipsychotic yet #so im out here having the craziest hallucinations and shit trying to focus like. my life is falling apart lol #i fucking hate being schizophrenic i hate it somebdy pls take my brain out of my head and scrub it #anyways i havent been dumpster diving in a minute so i think im gonna go tonight

7 notes · View notes

brelione · 3 years

Text

Love and Hate (The Best Boys)

dude come on. you said you’d upload the next chapter on christmas and now it’s been a whole week after and it’s still not out. :(, hi! when are you posting the next chapter of tbb??, tbb????, Are you posting the next chapter of best boys soon? I miss her, when will you be posting the next part of the best boys series??, Ok I’m over TBB I’m just gonna say she ends up with Blah Blah and they live happily ever after, the end. Thank you for the amazing read, it has been fun❤️, TBB is literally the last series I have to finish before I can finally peace out of the shithole that is the OBX fandom for good but like no rush or anything baby❤️,When do you think you’ll be posting the last chapters of TBB?, Hey queen how’s the writing for best boys going,

Series Masterlist

SHES HEREEEE

Yes, im aware this chapter is all over the place. I went through writing four different versions of this chapter and this is the one that I decided to go with. I know that this one is kind of a little ahfioshviowenvionae but it all comes together next chapter (I already started writing the next chapter). Im so sorry that this is so late. I’ve been having issues for a little bit. My grandfather and my dog passed away and I recently had a relapse and I think that’s why it was taking me so long. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter <3

Warnings:Nothing really, swearing and unedited. Also im sorry if you dont like this chapter but like....yeah.

You were awoken to the sounds of screaming.Topper ended up at the foot of the bed, Kelce still clinging onto you.Rafe was absent from his spot but the mattress was still warm and had a slight dent which let you know that he hadnt been gone long.

You had spent most of the night trying to find the perfect spot on the mattress, one arm thrown over kelce and your heel against the back of Toppers thigh.It seemed like it hadnt been a super long time since the sun had risen which meant that it was probably around seven in the morning by now.

Your heart was thumping in your chest, trying to pay attention to what the voices were shouting.Something about a mess and irresponsibility but you couldnt hear much besides that.Rafe stomped up the stairs, opening his door.He was shirtless, face red from yelling and his eyes slightly watery.You sat up, making Kelce grumble.

Rafe’s jaw was slightly dropped, his nose beginning to run and his body trembling.“Hey, what happened?”You asked, gaining Kelce’s attention.Topper’s eyes opened slightly, looking over at Rafe.The tall boy didnt say anything, he just dragged his feet across the room and sat back on the bed, mumbling.You were hesitant to grip his hand, squeezing lightly.

He just stared at a wrinkle in the blanket but the sound of something breaking downstairs told you that it had been more than just bickering.Kelce was worried, knowing that his parents had gotten home late last night and would see the mess he had created. “He doesnt want me living here anymore.”Rafe spoke up, a few tears rolling down his cheeks.

You pulled him closer to you, arms around his shoulders as he sobbed, your fingers rubbing against the back of his neck.He squeezed you tightly when he head footsteps coming up the stairs, silently praying to any god that would listen that it wouldnt be Ward.Kelce’s phone kept buzzing but he ignored it, knowing exactly what it was.

He knew that it was coming and he would be lying if he said that he didnt expect it, nervous the whole night as he waited for his phone to blow up.“What are you gonna do?”Topper asked.As much as you wanted to scold him for asking that when Rafe clearly didnt want to talk about it it was still something that you had also been wondering.

Rafe didnt answer, taking in a deep, shaky breath that hurt his ribs before picking up his head and looking over to his friend. “I dont know.”He admitted.His voice hurt your heart, the realisation kicking in that there wasnt really many places that he could go.

Kelce’s phone buzzed again, all of your eyes falling on him.He sighed, glancing at his screen.He had missed calls from his parents, dozens of text in all caps telling him to come home immediately. “They found the door.”He replied, keeping his voice calm.A new wave of silence washed over the room, not knowing what to say to that.

Your eyes watered as you remembered how simple life was a few weeks ago, all of you eating breakfast, watching criminal minds and laughing as Topper recorded it all on his snapchat.Now everything was completely falling apart.You didnt say anything, trying to think of a solution.Rafe couldnt go to Kelce’s house or Topper’s house since Topper’s mother had one of those security cameras outside of her home and she’d recognize him immediately.

She was still pissy about Topper’s accident, she’d explode if he let friends over. “SO what happens now?”Topper asked.You were all out of ideas.A simple drive or icecream or a movie couldnt solve any of this. “I mean...think about it.We’re adults, right?Child protective services cant stop us if we leave.”Kelce muttered.Rafe nodded, snapping his fingers.

“Yeah, yeah!You’re right.”He agreed, causing your eyes to widen.They were acting insane. They couldnt be serious about just getting up and leaving forever, right? “No, no hes not.We cant just-we cant just leave!”You exclaimed.They were actually going crazy.How could they even think like that? “Why?What do you have here, (Y/N)?”He asked.You paused, thinking about it.

You didnt really have anything.You had your house of course but other than that you had nothing but memories and your boys.You didnt want to admit that he was right, letting out a quiet sigh. “But leaving forever isnt the answer.”You muttered.Rafe rubbed your back, shaking his head. “Doesnt have to be forever, baby.”He answered.

“But- but just cause we arent kids doesnt mean we cant be registered as missing people.They’ll come after us.”You told them.You knew that nobody outside of this room actually cared about you enough to report you as missing but you were scrambling through your thoughts, desperately hunting for a reason to stay on the shitty island that you had learned to love so much.Topper shrugged, not really caring.

“Guys, guys. Okay, look. You’re all fucked, ill admit it. But thats fine! Are you guys forgetting that I still have a house- you guys can just stay there until this whole thing blows over just like you always have!”You reminded them, hoping they’d agree. “This isnt gonna blow over, (Y/N). I cant come back here.”Rafe told you, becoming aggravated.

“THEN MOVE IN! All of you guys, you can just move in, okay? You dont have to leave- I still have my moms money! We’ll figure it out as we go and…. And it’ll be fine.”You insisted. “Move in with you?”Rafe asked. You nodded, wiping your nose. “You practically live with me already, it wont be that different.”You told him, gripping his hand.

It was a messy blur as Rafe packed his things, grabbing anything that he thought could be important. A photo of his mother, his birth certificate and diploma, laptop and ipad, the Frozen ll record. Kelce and Topper just watched, neither of them ready for anything like this so early in the morning.

Maybe if you werent so tired and upset you wouldnt have said it, but here you were in Rafe’s truck, a dufflebag full of his things at your feet with the boys in the backseat as he drove to your house, a few tears rolling down his cheeks as the thoughts finally took over his brain. Kelce had got aggravated and shut down his phone entirely, staring out the window.

The last thing you were expecting was to come down your road only to see a car that was practically falling apart already in your driveway, a tall man with his hands over his forehead as he tried to look in your windows. “What the fuck….”Rafe muttered, reaching for the door handle when you gripped his hand. “Dont, we dont know what he’s doing.”You told him, hoping he’d listen.

Turns out he wasnt the one you had to worry about, Kelce swinging his door open and sprinting up your driveway before anyone could even stop him. Wherever Kelce went Topper went, the boy struggling to get the seatbelt over his cast before jumping out of the truck and nearly falling into a puddle. “ESCUSE ME! MR SIR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING LOOKING IN MY HOUSE?”Kelce shouted, purposely making his voice deeper.

The man turned, confused as to why two half asleep teenage boys were walking towards him. “Your house?”The man asked. “Yes, sir. You ever heard of a gay couple before?”Topper asked, making Kelce break character for a moment.

“Well, no, its not that. Its just that I thought this was someone elses house.”The man muttered, confused. You had slid down your seat, hoping that the man wouldnt see you. “He’s about to leave.”Rafe whispered.

“Who’s the other guy in the car?”The man asked, pointing to Rafe’s figure. Kelce glanced over at Topper with wide eyes, trying to think. “Our son.”Kelce replied, cringing the moment he said it. The man only looked more confused, looking between the two boys. “How old are you guys?”The man asked, clearly not buying their story.

“Excuse me? Are you saying that we’re too old to have a son? I did not spend years training for a medical degreee to have some random old man come and tell us how old our son can be!”Topper exclaimed. “I didnt spend years trying to find a surrogate and figuring out a way to make a robot nanny for this!”He sighed, trying his best not to smile.

“Could you please leave the property before we call the police?”Kelce asked. The man was beyond confused at this point, quickly making his way to his shitty car before slowly backing out of the driveway, eyes still scanning the area before he gave up and went down the street.

You let out a sigh of relief, moving to get up when Rafe placed his hand on top of your head to keep you down. “Hes coming around again.”He whispered to you, taking in a shaky breath and holding it in his lungs as the car passed a second time. Topper and Kelce were standing by the door, staring at Rafe almost as telling him to get out and make a run for it.

“Open the door in 3...2…”You didnt wait, jumping out and running towards the house, typing in the key pad as quick as you could, Topper’s hand pushing you inside. “Here he comes again!”He exclaimed, coming in right behind you along with the others before Rafe slammed the door shut and locked it, letting out a laugh.

“Oh god, that was scary.”He chuckled. Kelce and Topper nodded as well, eventually laughing. “Was that my dad?”You asked. “Maybe.”Topper answered. Now that you thought about it, your dad didnt same important. Nothing did. You lived on a huge rock that’s floating around space and you’re concerned about your dad when your boyfriends best friends are moving in.

“What’d you tell him?”You asked. “We told him that we’re a gay couple, Topper’s a doctor and Rafe is our child.”Kelce replied. You giggled, snorting. “I mean, as you should.”You replied. “Hell yeah.”Kelce grinned. Topper tapped at his arm. “Bro, you wanna get married?”Topper asked. Kelce laughed again, nodding.

“I’ll get baptised and get you guys married!”Rafe volunteered, all of you turning to look at him. “Did you just say baptised?”Kelce asked. Rafe nodded, eyebrows furrowing. “Is that not the right word?”He asked. Topper shook his head. “The word is ordained.”He informed the tall boy. “He’s trying his best.”You replied, sitting down on the chair that you werent used to sitting in.

“You think he’s gonna come back?”You asked. Topper groaned, sitting down. “Well, I hope not. I dont want my husband and I to have to fight him.”He grinned. You rolled your eyes, changing positions in the chair. “Did he look like me?”You asked, leaning your head against the arm rest, groaning when Rafe pushed your legs aside and sat down with you.

“Not really… he had rat tails for eyebrows.”Kelce replied, putting his fingers over his eyebrows. “Do I have rat tail eyebrows?”You asked, grinning when Rafe reached forward and poked your eyebrow, a chuckle slipping past his lips. “You wish.”He replied. “Fuck off.”You answered. “Dont be fucking rude.”He grinned, kissing you quickly before pulling away with a small smile.

You were shocked, trying to hide your surprise. It wasnt like you werent used to kissing Rafe by now, it was just that he had never done it in front of the boys before. They looked nearly as confused as you, the thought of Rafe kissing you in front of them never even being a concern until now. They were used to him getting most of your love and attention but that had just stirred something within them.

“So how are we gonna do this? I dont know about you guys but im not going back to my house anytime soon.”Kelce announced. Rafe lifted his head, looking over to the boy. “You could always sneak in your own window to grab your things...maybe wait until theyre at work. What about you, Top?”Rafe asked, turning his attention to the blonde boy.

“What do I have at my house that I need? Like, really need.”He asked, grinning when none of you could answer. “Problem solved.”He replied. “What time is it?”Rafe asked, breaking the silence. “Ten.”Kelce replied, closing his eyes as he leaned against the couch. “Im going upstairs to take a nap then.”Topper yawned, slowly making his way down the hall into the first floor guest room.

It was arguably the worst since it also worked as your moms office, a queen bed pushed into the corner. You wiggled out of Rafe’s grip, smiling when he whined. You went into the kitchen, grabbing a poptart. For the situation you felt rather calm, opening the silver package and taking a bite of one of the sweet pastries.

The energy in the house felt different than it had yesterday. You werent sure why, maybe it was just the comfort of knowing that the boys were going to be living with you now and you wouldnt have to worry as much about Rafe or Topper’s relationship with his mom.

“So how are we gonna handle this?”Kelce asked, confusing you. “The house, I mean. You have this whole house and like...30 million dollars. We can literally redecorate however we want, maybe even clean out your moms office if youre okay with it.”He suggested.

You nodded, the idea of getting the memory of your mother cleansed from your life sounded appealing. His excitement took over as he opened his amazon prime app, looking for new decor. “How do you feel about your moms room?”He asked, not wanting to push your limits. You shrugged, swallowing part of the pastry. “Shes not using it.”You replied, surprised by how morbid you sounded.

He simply nodded, shifting in his seat as he added things to his cart. “Can we redo your room? It’s been the same color since we were fourteen.”Rafe suggested. You shrugged, not really caring. You didnt spend a large amount of time in your bedroom anyways. You scrolled through your phone for a few minutes, seeing a little red bubble next to your messaging app that let you know that you had gotten a text. Curious, you opened it.

As soon as you saw who it was a pit grew in your stomach, eyes widening. It was her. “Sweet words, (Y/N).”The text read. You knew that it was your uncle just trying to mess with you but it still caused your anxiety to skyrocket, deciding to block the number and place your phone between your thighs, taking in a deep breath through your nose.

Topper dragged his feet, coming out of the room with a frown. “That’s the most uncomfortable bed in all of history.”He muttered, sitting down on the couch instead. “You can go upstairs.’You reminded him, feeling your phone buzz against your inner thigh.

He just hummed, leaning his head against the back of the couch. “How long was I in there?”He asked. “Literally not even ten minutes.”Kelce replied, still scrolling. “Did I miss anything?”Topper asked. You didnt reply, breaking off another piece of the poptart. “We’re gonna redecorate the house.”Kelce answered. Topper nodded, lifting his head.

“Does that mean that office too?”Topper asked. You nodded, staring at a spot on your carpet. “Does that mean we get to open the file cabinet in the guest room?”He asked, all of you looking over at him. The thought made you feel nauseous. Even if she wasnt here to yell at you you knew that opening the file cabinet would still scare you anyways.

“If theres a dead body in there I swear to god-”You muttered, earning a chuckle from Rafe. “A body couldnt fit in there.”he replied, making your eyebrows furrow. “How do you know where bodies can fit?”You asked. “No, no. Like, its not….well...maybe a raccoon body.”He admitted. “Rafe!”You exclaimed, smacking his thigh.

He rolled his eyes, pulling you into his lap. “There’s no raccoon body.”He answered. “I think theres a raccoon body.”Kelce replied. “Theres not.”You answered. Topper grinned, skipping into the room and beginning to open the cabinet, the three of you following him. “Okay, who votes raccoon body?”He asked, his hand on the knob.

Kelce raised his hand, grabbing your arm to make you hold your hand up as well. “Ready?”Topper asked before pulling the door open, looking into it. His face fell immediately, not expecting this. “What?”You asked, stepping past Kelce and looking into the cabinet.Guns were being held by small metal pieces, multiple clear bags full of plants and needles on the floor, bullets on sashes hanging with the guns.

The two of you just stared, ignoring Rafe and Kelce until they came up behind you, equally as confused. “What the fuck?”Rafe asked, seeing the bags. Kelce slammed the doors shut, locking it. “We’re not telling anyone about this, right?”He asked, looking at all of you. “What are we gonna do with all that? We cant just keep it here!”Topper argued.

Rafe shrugged, resting his elbow on your shoulder. “We smoke the weed and throw the guns in the river, obviously.”Rafe answered. “We’re not smoking weed, Rafe.”You answered. “Well your mom didnt have a liscense to carry, right?”Kelce asked. You shook your head, figuring it would be hung up somewhere in the house to remind you of the power she had.

“Right, okay. So we cant call the cops and we cant keep it here.”Kelce answered, clicking the lock on the cabinet. “What’d your mom even do for a living?”Topper asked. You frowned, thinking back. You never really knew what your mother did, you just stayed quiet and hoped you wouldnt make her angry. She’d disappear for months, money would appear in your bank account, she’d pay the bills aned thats all you needed to know.

She’d have long phone calls with people in her office, grounding you if you even dared to listen. “I dont know.”You replied, cringing at how stupid you sounded. “She has these cabinets all over the house, doesnt she?”Kelce asked. “The one in her room is actual files.”You told him, hoping that there were no sorts of hidden things in her room.

“Should we go check?” Rafe asked, out of the room with a grin before any of you could even answer. You sighed, slightly annoyed that he was treating this like a scavenger hunt. “Its been here this whole time, im sure nothings gonna happen.”Kelce assured you, patting you on the shoulder before his fingers tickled your arm and wrist, gripping your hand and bringing you upstairs.

“I ordered some tapestries, succulents, fake vines and some new blankets for our new movie room.”He told you, nearly slipping up. “Movie room?”You asked, nearly slipping on the stairs. “Your mom has a big tv, I figured it could be like a second living room if you’re comfortable with that.”He answered, pausing at the top of the stairs so he could wait for you.

Rafe was in your mother’s room, carefully pulling on the drawers, eventually finding out that the top one was locked. He looked over at you, silently asking if you knew where the key was. You shook your head, letting go of Kelce’s hand and opening the bottom drawer of the filing cabinet, the hairs on the back of your neck standing up.

Your mother kept most of your medical documents and anything like that to herself along with basically everything that proved you existed. Baby photos, ultra sounds, old school tests. “We could just move it into the other guest room.”Rafe muttered, hoping he wasnt making you upset. You ignored him, looking through all the little colored tags, your eyes falling on a silver tag, your eyebrows furrowing. No other ones had that color.

You picked it up, sitting down and reading it over. The words were all bundled together, ink scratches and smudges told you that it wasnt a serious document. The only word you could make out was ‘arsonist’. Nothing else was eligible. “Can we take it right now?”You asked, placing the paper on the floor and closing the drawer. Rafe nodded, Kelce grabbing one side while Rafe grabbed the other. Topper grinned, leaning against your mothers unused desk.

“I would help but my arms broken.”he laughed, watching as Kelce struggled, walking backwards. “Some moral support would be great.”Kelce rolled his eyes. You grinned, slowly clapping. “Great job, guys. You’re doing great moving that illegal file cabinet.”You held back a laugh. They turned carefully, shuffling as they eventually got to the guest bedroom.

“How do you feel about this?”Topper asked, sitting down on the chair. You sighed, shrugging. “I mean, you know. Its not that I dont love the idea of you guys being here but like… its the circumstances.”You answered, sighing when he pulled you closer with his good arm, rubbing your back. “Thanks a lot for this, though. Like in all seriousness im really grateful that you’re in my life.”He blushed, looking up at you. You smiled, kissing his nose lightly.

“I mean, I do provide you with half of the drama in your life.”You giggled, kissing him gently. “Where does the other half come from?”He asked. You shrugged, sighing. “Probably you.”You answered. “I cant believe you’d say that to me! You know im at a bad place in life and you put me in this terrible situation when you know that!”He fake cried, bursting into laughter.

“Kourtney dont laugh at me!”You exclaimed. You felt a vibration under your feet, hearing a loud, dramatic sigh and the sound of skin colliding. They had successfully moved the file cabinet, the door closing as their loud footsteps hit the floor as they entered your mother’s room again. Rafe took a moment to look around, sometimes forgetting that the room even existed.

It was the biggest room in the house, the ceiling going up at least twenty feet with only glass separating the room from the outside world. His mind wandered, thinking of all the fun nights the two of you could have in here watching the stars or listening to the rain.

The bed was large and still, the blankets and sheets unwrinkled and untouched. He understood why you were creeped out by the house now, feeling like he didnt belong in the room. You all took turns trying to figure out what the writing said, eventually deciding that it probably wasnt even in english. “Should we put it through google translate?”Rafe asked, staring at the paper.

Kelce shook his head. “Nah, its not reliable. I tried using it for spanish class in freshman year and I got detention.”He replied. “Well thats definitely not spanish. Maybe its like…. Ancient text.”Topper suggested, causing you to frown. “I highly doubt that my mother would know an ancient text.

Maybe we should just leave it.”You answered. Although you werent exactly satisfied with it you just didnt feel like spending your time trying to decode a random paper. They didnt seem satisfied either but didnt want to push you, putting the paper down on the desk where it would be safe from your footsteps.

Of course the boys just couldnt stay at the same place for long periods of time, deciding to suggest that you guys go out to a store to get some paint for the boring walls. You agreed, the four of you getting into your car instead of Rafe’s truck, locking all the doors and windows before you left.

Kelce didnt suggest a McDonalds run which caused you to frown, knowing that he was probably too stressed to want to eat. You guys went into Walmart with one goal, heading right for the paint section and looking at the wall of colors. “Lets get four colors and kind of just make it up as we go.”Kelce muttered, looking at all the different shades.

“We could all pick one out.”Topper suggested, reaching forward and picking a bright green. You agreed, picking a shade of light purple, watching as Kelce picked the color toffee biscuits and Rafe went for cotton blue. You doubted any of the colors would actually look good together but that wasnt the point of the project.

It was more about making the room look fun rather than nice. Kelce grabbed a few large paint brushes, the four of you leaving before you could get distracted by anything that you didnt need. Topper decided to get right to work, spilling some paint on the floor as he dragged the brush along the wall, creating bright stripes.

“I have an artistic vision! Trust the process!”He exclaimed, feeling your judgemental eyes on him. You didnt say anything, watching Kelce struggle to connect his phone to your speaker, playing the first song on his playlist.

Line without a hook. Topper looked over at you, almost like he was silently asking you if you had told the boys about his top secret playlist. You shrugged, not wanting to give anything away to the others.

“Oh my god, I love this song.”Rafe dunked his brush in the light blue, making a smiley face on the wall. “Can I paint an onion?”He asked. You raised your eyebrows, not understanding why he wanted to put an onion on the wall.

“Ogres are like onions! We have layers!”Kelce laughed. “Who is we? Are you an ogre, Kelce?”Topper asked, not taking his eyes off of the bright stripes, painting a circle on the top. “Topper Harry Katherine Thornton, are you painting a penis on my wall?”You asked, connecting the dots.

He grinned, ignoring you. “Of course not.”He replied, painting frantically so that you couldnt stop him, green drops rolling down the wall. You picked up your paint brush, painting two circles quicklly before pushing the brush into the center of each, laughing to yourself.

“Guys, really?”Rafe asked. “Cant we make the wall wholesome?”He asked. You shook your head, a smile on your face. “Says you of all people, Rafe.”You shook your head. “She got you there.”Topper replied, dragging the brush across the painting and blending it out so there was no longer a penis on your wall.

“What are you doing now?”You asked, wanting to one up him. “What are you doing now?” He mocked you. Somehow you ended up splashing Topper with paint and getting tackled into the mattress as he held the paintbrush over you, trying to get the bright green liquid on your face while you held his arm back.

“Im gonna murder you!”You laughed, rolling over under him so your face was against the mattress. “Im gonna paint your hair!”He laughed, holding the brush just above it. “Topper, dont mess with her hair.”Kelce took the brush away.

Topper groaned, falling next to you on the mattress. His eyes were closed, the sun from the window casting a beautiful glow over his face, a small smile tugging at the side of his mouth. You pressed a kiss to his cheekbone, your arm resting on his torso.

It didnt take long for painting to be forgotten, a few cheap bristles sticking to the wall with messes of colorful lines and unfilled shapes. The song changed, followed by a loud gasp from Rafe. “This is my favorite song!”He smiled, hitting his knees with his fists repeatedly.

He didnt know what about it made him so happy, whenever he heard it it reminded him of you guys. “You know what we should do?”Topper asked. “No.”Kelce replied while Rafe rewinded the song to listen to his favorite part again.

“We should make soup. Like, spicy soup with potatoes.”He replied, mouth watering. “We could just order soup.”Kelce replied, not in the mood to go downstairs and hunt for ingredients. “Order soup from where?”Topper asked. Kelce simply shrugged, shifting around and putting his arms under his body.

That had been a week ago. Since then a lot had happened. You guys had developed a system, Kelce could do his laundry on Saturdays, Rafe on Mondays and Topper’s just got mixed in with yours.

It was a love and hate relationship to have them there with you. You didnt regret your decision but sometimes things would get difficult. Grocery shopping was the worst since nobody could decide what they wanted and you had all agreed not to eat out as much.

“We need an actual meal, we cant just eat chips for everything.”Topper would grumble, realising he didnt even really know how to cook. That just lead to late flights of searching for recipes o pinterest and watching Gordon Ramsey tiktoks until they decided to try and make bake and shake chicken. That didnt really work out well, having to open all of your windows and get the smoke out of your house.

Then you guys decided to take a new approach, finding a ton of frozen pizzas and ingredients for sushi. Kelce was the only one who had any idea of what he was doing since he had always been talented in the kitchen, specifically with breakfast. That became more of a safe meal for you guys, making extra food in the morning to eat later for dinner until you got sick of toast, eggs and bacon.

Kelce ended up banishing you all to the pool so that he could decorate properly, vines hanging from the door ways and landscape tapestries hanging in your living room, hallway and your mother’s old bedroom. “How long do you think he’s gonna be?”You asked, floating on your back in the shallow end, letting out a yelp when Topper grabbed you and dragged you to the deep end.

“I dont know, probably like three days.”He replied, finally letting go once you were in the middle of the pool. “We could survive three days in the pool.”You replied, watching Rafe shake his head. “With my allergy to the sun?”He asked, making you turn over, going underwater for a moment. “You dont even sunburn.”You told him, splashing water in his direction before swimming away quickly so that he couldnt get back at you.

Kelce kept getting calls from his parents that were asking him to come home but he never did. They knew where he was, if they wanted him back so badly they’d drive over and take him away. “Guys, i’ve finished my creation.”Kelce announced, coming outside. “So we can come in now?”Topper asked, gripping the ledge of the pool and pulling himself out, falling onto his stomach as he struggled to get up.

“Yes, you can come in now! Hurry!”Kelce yelled excitedly before going back inside, waiting impatiently for you guys to hurry. Rafe helped you out of the pool, tossing you your towel so that you wouldnt trail water through your house. “Guys! Come on!”Kelce shouted again, the three of you walking across the hot pavement quickly.

“I’ll clean up the water after- just come see what I did!”He said again. You rolled your eyes, walking into the house. Goosebumps formed on y0our skin from the cool air, eyes widening as you looked at the kitchen. He had bought a plaid tablecloth for the table, vines hanging from the ceiling and doorways, a tie dye tapestry hanging in your living room. It looked like he had taken the time to wipe down every surface and vacuum any mess of broken spaghetti or eggshells that had been kicked under the fridge.

“Do you like it?”He asked, unable to read your shocked expression. “Kelce, im gonna be honest with you. I feel like im in pixie hollow right now.”You grinned, making him smile. “I think thats a good thing- but upstairs is better!’He exclaimed before making his way up the stairs. He was right.

There were marble heart shaped tiles hanging on the walls of the hall, a sign on the new hangout spot that was made out of drift wood. He opened the door, revealing bean bag chairs on the floor, a new carpet, a light yellow canopy hanging over the bed that had all new sheets and blankets on it as well.

He had even somehow managed to fix the paint on the wall so that there were different colored polka dots all over it. The boys seemed equally impressed, still taking it in. You hugged Kelce, not even caring that you’d get his clothes wet. “So I did good?” He asked, hugging you back. “You always do good.”You replied, feeling him hug you tighter.

“So you’re happy?”He asked, letting out a small sigh when you nodded. “I am happy, Kelce.”you replied, kissing him lightly. He smiled against you, taking in a deep breath. “I found a new recipe for fancy grilled cheese.”He told you, kissing your forehead. This was something that you loved about having them live with you.

@sweetlittlegingy @nicolefarley603 @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @newsies-yeet @butgilinsky @jjjmaybank @gracelovesbroadway @one-stella @spn-marvel-nerd @lovelyelinor @chinamolina602 @sexytholland @28cnn @popcrone818 @fttayla @cherryobx @n1ghtsh4d3-67 @drewstarkeyobx @poguestyleskye @judayyyw @jjtheangel @jj-iz-bae@sunwardsss @meaganjm @sarcasticsagittarius1998 @natalie-kate-98 @nxsmss @broken-jj @joshy-obx @classygirlything @annmariek8 @stupidpendeja @killjoyybsinner @pink-meringues @outerbongs @copper-boom @httpstarkey @teenwaywardasgardian @simonsbluee @deionswannabegirl @jiaraendgame @khiaraaa-in-spacee @on-socks-off @abbiesthings @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @dmonchld@annmariek8 @harryswigss @ibookofstars @lostaurorax @cheshirecat107

#topper x reader #topper thorton x reader #topper thorton imagine #topper thorton smut #topper thornton fluff #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron headcanon #kelce smith #kelce imagine #kelce x reader #kelce outer banks #the best boys

165 notes · View notes

eldritchincendiary · 3 years

Text

and now:

the davekat au you didnt know you wanted but im writing anyway

i consider it a crime and an insult that nobody in this fandom has written an Anastasia AU when the potential is RIGHT THERE.

because nobody has done it (that i am aware of) i bit the bullet and wrote it myself (im using that phrase correctly, right?)

but im still workshopping the first draft before even considering posting it, but im so far REALLY happy with chapter 3. it doesnt really have dave or karkat (karkat is mentioned but he has no real presence in the chapter) but it DOES have gamzee and tavros. i know people who really like gamzee will probably hate me for writing him in the role of rasputin but i did it anyway.

just to say, tavros is meant to fill the role of rasputins bat minion Bartok, but i didnt want tavbro to be a bat so hes a gargoyle instead. thats it, enjoy this little glimpse of my newest obsession.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••Tavros had only seen this side of Limbo once, when his old boss died the first time. Selling his soul to get revenge on the royal family, as it turns out, came with some nasty consequences that Gamzee got to see firsthand. It seemed at first glance that he’d kept true to the strange clown aesthetic he’d been so dedicated to in life. A second glance would affirm that his dedication to the clown schtick had only grown worse as his psyche deteriorated in death.

“Who all up and motherfuckin’ disturbs my slumber or what the fuck ever?” Tavros can’t help the shiver that runs through him, discomfort eating away at him like a heavy rain eroding away at limestone. “Don’t you know it’s all kinds of fuckin’ rude to disturb the dead?” Tavros clutches the reliquary to his chest as Gamzee steps into view, tall and gangly, looking more like an animated skeleton than a person with rags that hang from his emaciated frame in blood soaked tatters. His gaze is far away, cold and glassy. If he had not been walking and talking before Tavros’s very eyes, the gargoyle would assume Gamzee was completely dead. His skin is frozen in spots, as cruel of a reminder as it could be of how he died.

“Gamzee you-” Tavros stammers, fumbling the artifact in his grip. “You’re alive?” The cackle, loud and hollow, echoes through the freezing air, shaking Tavros to his core.

“That's a way of puttin’ it, Tavbro. Do I look very fuckin’ alive to you?” Tavros shakes his head hurriedly. “I’ve been a wreck since I got here, stuck in this shithole because that stupid fuckin’ kid got away. And I’m gonna be stuck here until that shit keels over once and for all, which could take who knows how fuckin’ long.” Gamzee huffs, wincing with each movement, joints cracking with every step. “You wanna know how it feels to be literally falling apart? You know what kind of fuckin’ bullshit I’ve been through the past decade?”

“Well, this is Limbo. Aren’t you supposed to, I don’t know, attone while you’re here?” Tavros flinches when Gamzee scoffs.

“Attoning is for motherfuckers with souls. In case you’ve forgotten, I don’t fuckin’ have one of those!” Gamzee shouts, forcing himself to erupt into a coughing fit, blood spattering his ashen, frost-bitten skin. The liquid is thick and dark, unnatural and unsettling to see. “Once that bastard dies, it’s straight to hell for me. I’ll be joinin’ that fuckin’ dark carnival down below if you know what I mean.”

“I...I don’t actually.”

“Course you don’t. Nobody ever fuckin’ does. If I hadn’t lost that little bauble I’d gotten from the ancient ones, I’d go back to finish the motherfuckin’ job. Take the expressway to hell so I can get my eternity of suffering over with.” Gamzee’s hands clench into fists, outlining every sharp, gnarled bone resting just beneath his rotting skin.

“That’s a uh… that’s kind of depressing.” Tavros looks down at the smoking reliquary in his hand, and his attention snaps up to the brooding corpse. “By ‘bauble’ do you mean this?”

The artifact gives a hellish screech when Gamzee snatches it, the crazed look in his eyes only growing more and more deranged as he stares down at it, coughing and hacking between his hysterical laughter.

“Where did you all up and motherfuckin’ find this, Tavbro! Ah, ten years of waiting and you still come through, you glorious granite bastard!” Gamzee doesn’t bother to wait for an answer, instead continuing on as though he were talking to a regular, non-living gargoyle. “You know what this means? I can finish the job. I can end that entire fuckin’ bloodline once and for all!”

“Ah… how, how are you gonna do that? You’re kind of stuck here.”

“Oh I won’t be the one going! My motherfuckin’ friends in this wicked lava lamp can get the job done and make it look like a fuckin’ accident too.” Tavros shrinks back as Gamzee’s voice grows louder, more urgent and obsessive.

“You hear that, Vantas, you motherfuckin’ bastard?! I’ll kill you. You’re gonna motherfuckin’ die and it’ll look like a bloody motherfuckin’ accident!”

#homestuck #tw!gore #i guess???#alternate universe #homestuck au #anastasia au #homestuck gamzee #homestuck tavros #Epsilon writes something

4 notes · View notes

sherlollydramoine · 4 years

Text

I Hate U, I Love U

Warnings: 18+ only, strong language, fighting/name calling/sorta bullying, mentions of cheating, alcohol consumption, and smutty mcsmut smut -- unprotected (wrap it before you tap it, it’s the responsible thing to do)

This is just a piece of fiction and don’t necessarily believe that Rami is truly like this, but we’ll never really know. I got a request, so I wrote it. That is all.

This is combining two requests that I’ve had, one for a while, the other just came in. This is for @lablanchett (sorry darling, that it took me so long to get this one out for you. I had another piece that I’d been working on and I just couldn’t make it work the way I wanted, and then I accidentally drunkenly deleted it- I hope this makes up for it) and @aulile for their requests: Rami and gf fight and have steamy makeup sex, and Rami and gf have a fight and Rami says some mean shit. Hope this fits in with the idea of whatever it was that you both were looking for.

Word Count: 1890, again this is actually just a reallllllly long HC.

“I don’t fucking believe you!!” you yelled.

“Seriously, how fucking stupid are you to not believe it?” he questioned.

“Obviously verrrry stupid, because you can’t make me believe any of it! You’ve lied to me before, how is this any different?” you countered, trying to prove your point.

“When did I lie to you?”

“When you were in London. You fed me some ‘oh we’re just friends’ bullshit.”

“That was different than this.

“How? How is this different? You cheated on me once, why should I believe you now?”

“Goddddd… YN you are such a fucking bitch. I don’t have the fucking time to deal with your temper tantrums today.”

“Then don’t. I’m gone. You’ve lied, lied, lied, and I’m fucking done!”

“Fine! But you’ll regret this if you walk out that door!”

“I don’t give a fuck anymore Rami, I don’t! I’m tired of being the faithful, loyal servant to you… or shall I say to you, your fucking royal highness. That Oscar win did sure go straight to your fucking head. You’ve become the ‘I can do whatever I want because I’m rich and famous’ type that you always said you hated.

“YN, seriously?”

You stormed off in the direction of your bedroom. You refuse to put up with this shit any longer, you need to escape, to get away and start fresh somewhere.

He followed you into your shared bedroom where you were grabbing a suitcase out of the closet and began chucking random items into it.

“So you’re really leaving me, is that it?”

“What the fuck does it look like. I told you that I’m done, so I’m fucking done.”

His demeanor completely changed, his body stiffened, his mouth set in a hard line, when he turned on his heel and stormed out of the bedroom, slamming the bedroom door in his wake. You watched a picture fall off the wall and shatter into a million pieces on the hardwood.

You could hear the garage door open, followed shortly by the sounds of his car tires squealing out of the driveway.

You almost broke down in tears, but you had to stick to your guns. You weren’t actually entirely sure that he had done what you had accused him of, but you couldn’t handle the stress that being with him entailed anymore. And you couldn’t take back any of the hurtful words that you spat out.

You love him, very deeply, but sometimes he makes your blood boil.

Throwing whatever other random shit you think you might need, you slam the suitcase shut and zip it closed, you take off to the garage, get in your car and you certainly don’t look back

It took you a solid twelve weeks to stop crying, but eventually the hurt turned into more of a constant dull ache. It had been over seven months now since you’d seen him, and since then you’d flourished at work, gotten the promotion that you’d been working towards, and had made a bunch of new friends.

You still talk to some of your old friends, the shared friends, but most of the communication with them died the moment you shut down all of your social media accounts.

Life was great for you, even though the hurt was still there, and despite the fact that you were living in a tiny ass shithole apartment in a shit part of LA, you were happy. You told yourself you didn’t need him, and you believed it

You had closed all your social media accounts, and turned off any and all notifications that came up with his name on your phone. You’d changed your number, and blocked his just for good measure. You did this for your sanity.

Your boyfriend was famous and you didn’t want to see all the shit that was being said about you online. You two had plenty of naysayers online and it would have dealt a crippling blow to your mental health.

So you honestly avoid using the internet at all, unless it’s necessary.

It was when you were nearing the eight month mark in your breakup that you saw him for the first time since you’d left.

You were out for drinks with some of your friends, who were at that moment in time giving you shit for not being on any social media, when you saw him.

You fought the urge to run and you kept your head down, not allowing yourself to openly stare like some of the others around you. Though you couldn’t help but notice that he looked kind of like shit. He seems as if he’d aged dramatically in nearly eight months, he looked too thin, and very worn down.

It was your turn to buy the round of shots so you made your way to the bar, standing on the opposite side from where he was sitting, occupying one of the stools.

You thought you’d remained out of sight until you heard a familiar voice behind you say your name.

You sighed audibly and turned around, ready to fight if necessary. You’ve done well without him, not sure you could say the same for him though.

“Yes?” you snipped, turning around to face the one person that you really didn’t want to deal with.

“I thought that was you. Wow, you uhhh… you look good.” You knew you did, but you couldn’t say the same for him.

“Looks like I can’t say the same about.” you replied.

“Wow. You still are that same feisty woman that I knew and loved.”

“What the fuck do you want Rami? How can I help you tonight? I’m out with some friends and it’s just my turn to get the drinks.”

“I don’t want anything. I just wanted to tell you that I miss you is all.”

“Rami, I miss you too, every day. It took me three months to stop crying, and I really wanted to apologize for everything I said that day, but I can’t take it back and I’m not sure I want to.”

“I wanted to apologize to you too, and to tell you that you weren’t wrong. The things you accused me of doing. I did cheat, and I got caught. I tried to lie, but I should have known better.”

You suddenly felt as if you’d been hit in the stomach and all you wanted to do was cry.

“Thank you for finally admitting to the truth. I appreciate it. Look…. Oh God.. I’m going to regret this, but I’ve changed my number and I’ve blocked your old one. Is your number stilll the same?”

“No.”

“Give me your phone.” you demanded.

He doesn’t hesitate as he hands you his phone, you still remember his unlock pattern, so you swiped it and went into his ‘CONTACTS’ section. You entered your name and new number.

“Please Rami, don’t make me regret this.”

He smiled, a genuine toothy smile, the same one that he was famous for as he took his phone back.

“Can I give you a hug?” he asks.

“Sure I guess, why the hell not.”

He wraps his arms around you and squeezes tight, probably tighter than he should have, but you breath him in and a flood of memories came rushing back. The good, the bad, the truly ugly; you just wanted him back.

“Thank you” he says, with a smile.

He didn’t make you regret your decision to give you his number and over the next five months you’ve slowly allowed him back into your life. You’ve not been intimate but you’ve remained good friends. He slowly started to look healthier again, less gaunt and looking much more like he used to before you had left him.

One day mid-September you suddenly started to feel really sad, and then you remembered. Your anniversary. You two would have been celebrating five years together.

You randomly call Rami and to see if he was available to come over, in which he stated that he was. You were nervous as he’d never actually been to your place before. It certainly wasn’t what he had become accustomed to over the past few years. This place was a dump.

When he finally showed up, he just slowly walked around your apartment, not really commenting unless it’s a casual,”I like what you’ve done with your space. It feels so homey and so very you.”

He appeared oblivious to the reason for your sudden need to see him, and with an urgency you didn’t expect you pounced on him.

He was caught off guard by your sudden grip on his collar as you pulled him to you which resulted in him nearly tripping over the rug you had on the floor in your living room, your lips crashing into his with a force that almost made your teeth clash together.

Lips locked in a heated kiss, that had you whimpering with need in no time. You could feel him erection straining against his pants.

Moving towards your bedroom and wasting no time in shedding clothing, both of your hands going everywhere before his find out core, his fingers working their magic on you as you bucked your hips furiously against his hand. Your moans filling the small room.

You came around his fingers with a cry of his name.

Looking up at him, silently begging, you felt him line himself up with your entrance as he slide into you roughly.

His hips pounding into yours, fucking into you with an animalistic urgency.

“OOOOHHHH GODDDDD YESSSSSSSS RAMIIIIIIIIII RAMIIIIII” you screamed

The bed rocking violently, headboard banging into the wall, like a beating drum

Your hands clawed at his back, and your hips moving in time to each others thrusts

“YESSS YN...THATS MY GIRL… CUM BABY… CUM FOR ME” he moaned

His hands on your hips holding you steady as your walls began clenching around him for the second time that night,

With another scream of his name, you came undone, body quaking, as you felt his cock twitch and he followed shortly with a shout of your name as he spilled his warm essence into you.

He collapsed on top of you, both of you just tangled together a sweaty panting mess

“That was the best possible makeup sex ever” he laughed into your hair.

“Yeah, like thirteen months later.” you pointed out, before somehow dissolving into a fit of giggles.

“So, what brought this on?”

“It would have been our five year anniversary in a few days, and I was sad. I decided that I wanted you back. You’ve proven to me that you’ve changed, and I still love you. So… can we almost pretend that these last thirteen month never happened? Do you really want me back Rami?”

He never said yes or no, instead he captured your lips in another kiss before he mumbled,”Give me a few minutes, and then we can really piss off your neighbors.”

You just giggle again, snuggle into his chest and tell him that you are happy to oblige, as you hate your neighbors. Because at least three times a week they have really loud fights, intense fights followed by what sounds like really intense makeup sex themselves. So that can’t even begin to judge you for getting laid in the year that you’ve lived here.

@txmel @xmxisxforxmaybe @itsme690 @mrhoemazzello @ramimedley @free-rami @r-ahh-mi

#Rami Malek #Rami Malek Reader #Ramie Malek Smut #Rami Malek Headcannon #Rami Malek Imagine #Rami Malek Blurb #Rami Malek fanfiction

50 notes · View notes

keepyourselfsafekiddo · 4 years

Text

i cant wait to get out of this shithole town and away from these shithole people and be somewhere fresh and new and happy and home

i just want to be with him and her in notts away from all these shitty memories and make new memories every day and find all the hidden nooks and crannies and backstreets

i cant wait to find a coffee shop that becomes our coffee shop and a takeaway that we go to all the time and our grocery store where we do all our shopping apart from those three things that they dont sell and for those we have to go all the way across town but we dont mind because when we do we take it as an excuse to go to that overly priced shop that we love for that one drink or that one snack and we love it even if its triple the price it should be

i cant wait to come home every day and think about what to cook for dinner with him and bicker about whether or not to have mash or chips or which bolognese sauce to use

i cant wait to sit down on the sofa wrapped up in a fluffy blanket next to him while we binge watch all the movies by our favourite directors and nerd out about how amazing they are, and i just let him ramble for half an hour over the top of his movie because its really cute when he goes full film student even if i make fun of him for it sometimes

i cant wait to spontaneously bake him cakes and pancakes and cookies and brownies and teach him how to make them too and watch his face light up when he actually makes the perfect brownie even if it is from a brownie mix

i cant wait to wake up to him getting ready to go to a lecture and him kissing me goodbye while im half asleep and him planting a kiss on my forehead just before he leaves with a cup of tea in his hand for me because he knows thats the best way to wake me up and make sure i actually stay awake and i cant wait to try not to wake him up while i get ready for work but i always do because hes too light of a sleeper and he pulls me back into bed while im half dressed for “just five more minutes” and i halfheartedly try to protest but i dont really mean it because i always save fifteen minutes on a morning to cuddle him and wake him up with a coffee before i leave

i cant wait for our date nights where we get ready in separate rooms getting all dressed up even though we’re only off for a movie and a meal and we’re all giddy like its our first date and when we see eachother we’re both awestruck because the other looks so amazing and we fall for eachother a little bit more even though we thought that was impossible at this point

i just want to have a life and be my own person but be my own person with him and have a home with pans specifically for certain things and towels saved for guests so they think we’re fancy and a fucking fantastic surround sound system in the living room so it feels like were actually in the movie we’re watching and were happy

i just want to be happy with him

4 notes · View notes

oakandcirrus · 2 years

Text

oh i feel myself getting bitter my friend is going to italy ooh god i could wither plants and turn the ph of soil to acidic im so tired of people getting what i want im so tired of wanting what i cant have im so tired of waking up with barely any sleep to drag myself through the day only to come home and work some more im tired im sick and tired and i just want to run away just fuckin disappear i want to leave everything behind and i want the stress to go away but non, c’est la vie, ouai? just fuckin slave away my entire life stress about school stress about a job interview stress about college stress about paying for it stress about moving away stress about getting trapped in this shithole city stress about a boy who doesn’t even notice me stress about everything god im just so done with it all im on the verge of thinking none of this is even worth it i have to come up with an appealing resume that isnt just gonna get skipped over and i have to get my permit and my license and i hate being busy its horrible i hate not having downtime i dont want this life i have and what i do want seems impossible to reach theres no way to get from a to be they might as well be galaxies apart tomorrow is my last day of school before break but the stress isnt gonna end because my fucking bitch of a teacher decided to give us a project shes never given any class prior to ours she lays it all out like its so fuckin simple and gives us a few weeks to try and come up with a reason for why x happened from the 60s forward like im sorry thats 60 years worth of information to sift through 60 years of bills and studies and different presidents its horrible and its due december 8th and were nowhere near done and i NEED this break i csnnot work during it otherwise im gonna find a cliff and fucking jump im at my breaking point and ive been strong and ive been trying to hold it all together and smile and laugh and im losing the ability to do so i just spend the whole day outside my body watching myself take notes or collapse onto the desk for five minutes of sleep before a teacher wakes me up in the most obnoxious way possible and im sick of it and im just very very alone clinging to anything i can clinging to memories of happier times and a boy that doesnt give a shit abiut me the things we invent when were scsred and want to be saved and i want to be saved im digging my nails in so i dont fall too far so i dont become beyond saving im just waiting for someone or the strength to pull myself up but there are no saviors just the yawning pit and my arms are shaking and im losing my grip and jesus if i breathed a single audible word of this to anyone it would all come spilling out and we’d both drown i dont know how deep this well is and how long its been full and ive never seen the bottom im afraid of whats down there when all the tears have been shed what damp and festering all-consuming emptiness waits for me at the bottom

#luke.txt #rant #delete later

0 notes

byelart · 6 years

Text

abcs of death

ooooooooooooooooooo baby do you know what thats worth ooo heaven is a place on earth

a/b/c/d/g/h

warnings: death, blood, vore (sort of its kind of explicit?? idk what u want me to tell u hes a giant and he eats people)

G is for Giant

“What do you think they’re doing downstairs?” Dustin’s voice echoed off the halls he was walking down as Will struggled to keep up next to him, his lab coat swishing out behind him as he practically jogged to keep up with the taller man.

“I dunno. I’m not authorized to be- hey, can you slow down a little? We’re not training for a marathon, here.” Will mumbled, huffing between each word. Dustin slowed slightly, and Will nodded, mumbling a ‘thankyou’ under his breath.

“Anyway. I’m not sure. I’m not authorized to go down there.” Will shrugged. Dustin hummed deeply, he wasn’t either. In fact, he didn’t know anybody who was authorized to go downstairs.

“Do you think it has anything to do with that guy they brought in the other day? You know, the- the tall guy? He was all knocked out and shit. They told me not to worry about it-”

“That’s some shitty advice.”

“I know! anyway- they said he’d agreed to it or something but he definitely looked pretty wasted.” Dustin continued, turning the corner to their usual workspace and dropping his things on the desk they shared. Will swept past him, shrugging as he went to retrieve the paperwork they were meant to be working on.

“I never saw him. It’s not unlikely though, the basement is where they keep all their little pets,” Will said, his voice thick with disgust. “If i didn’t need the job i probably wouldn’t work here anymore.” He huffed, flipping through the pages until he was about halfway through, dividing the work between them.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Dustin said, though a pit of discomfort formed in his stomach. He hadn’t seen anyone return from downstairs unless it was on a stretcher.

He didn’t realize that they would find out what was happening in the basement so soon.

It started off as a normal day, he and Will dividing up their paperwork and tackling a particularly difficult experiment to do (neither of them liked hurting animals, but especially not Will. He only managed to microchip the rabbit when Dustin was holding his arm and his eyes were closed), and nothing seemed very off or different at all.

The only odd thing was the tremors that shook the ground ever so slightly underneath the ground level occasionally. They weren’t enough to be considered earthquakes, but they were enough to raise suspicion among the lab workers upstairs. Some of them tried to peer through the basement windows or listen through the vents, but the doors only led to flights of stairs, and the walls and floor were thick enough to make any noise from downstairs a warbled mess.

At noon, the tremors began to increase in volume and magnitude, centering specifically in the center of the common room floor, as if something was hitting it repeatedly. Some workers noticed the floor bowing upwards slightly. An hour later, the concrete began to buckle.

Hell broke loose just after one-thirty. A group of technicians disappeared downstairs, and suddenly the tremors stopped.

“Guess it was just a malfunction in one of the machines.” Dustin said once it had stopped, pausing in the middle of their lunch.

“Doesn’t surprise me, this place is a shithole. I just hope they get the floor fixed soon.” Lucas said from his spot across the table. Will opened his mouth to speak, but he was cut off as the door to the basement slammed open. A panicked, bloodied technician bolted into the room, his chest heaving.

“Every one of you needs to evacuate, immediately!” He shouted, obviously trying to keep his voice even. As the other workers began to leave, panic evident on each of their faces, the ground shook again. The concrete buckled further, and the technician screamed, sprinting out of the room towards the front of the building.

“Not a malfunction?” El suddenly piped up. The others stood cautiously, stuck between curious and terrified.

The floor suddenly burst outwards, some pieces of it falling through to the basement, other pieces rolling forwards. Shrieking, Will stumbled backwards, gripping at the other workers’ sleeves.

“Maybe we should go!!” he shouted as the hole in the floor opened wider, something underneath ripping at the concrete and tugging it apart. Lucas nodded, turning and running after Will as he tried to escape down the hallway. Dustin watched for a moment longer, before turning to meet where Will and Lucas were waiting for him by the door.

Behind him, something began to climb out of the hole in the floor. A massive, bloodied hand rose out of the pit, slamming into the ground with enough force to shake the ground underneath them. Stumbling, Dustin turned to see what was happening behind him.

After a moment, the creature in the pit began to climb out, seeming like some kind of monster from hell. It’s head and shoulders rose from the hole in the floor, and as it slowly crawled up, all of the technicians realized something at once: it wouldn’t fit. It’s body was massive and much too tall for the building, even with its raised ceilings. Dustin realized he’d seen the monster before; it was the man they’d been dragging downstairs only a few weeks prior. He was still recognizable, but they had obviously done their work on him. Sharp fangs stuck out of his mouth, bared just slightly as he struggled to pull himself from the floor. His fingernails had been converted into black, wolf-like claws, and, most of all, he was titanic.

Will shrieked, yet he was frozen in place as the giant’s eyes wandered over them, narrowed and hungry. He felt Lucas tug at him, heard an urgent whisper in his ear to run!, but it took being dragged away from the giant to get pulled from his stupor. Panicking, he scrambled for somewhere to hide. He watched Lucas run down the hallway with a thickening sense of dread in his stomach.

Dustin was still frozen in place. He could hear El running away behind him and her voice shouting in his head, trying to get him to run, but he couldn’t move. His eyes were locked on to the giant’s face, the giant’s own eyes narrowed on him. It was as if the monster couldn’t quite figure out what he was, but there was a thick anger flashing through his expression that terrified the lab worker. The giant pulled himself forwards, shaking the ground underneath Dustin and startling him into moving. He bolted away from the beast, trying to join the others out in the rest of the building. The creature behind him made a sound that sent a sharp chill down his spine- a low chuckling sound that made him feel even smaller than he already was compared to the giant. A dark shadow passed over him, pushing him into a burst of speed. It wasn’t enough. Dustin could feel some kind of sixth sense of the giant closing in behind him, and suddenly his fingers were closed tightly around Dustin’s shoulders, lifting him off the ground and up to the giant’s face.

He felt a sense of vertigo at being held at the giant’s eye-level, and what was worse was the shark grin stretched across his face baring all of his massive teeth, each sharp enough to slice Dustin into ribbons.

“Are you one of the ones who used to come down and play with me?” The giant purred, his voice rumbling in Dustin’s chest. He tried to shake his head, shaking violently in the monster’s grip. The giant’s grin widened slightly.

“It’s too bad I don’t believe you. Men will lie about anything to save themselves, won’t they?” The monster said, almost sadly. He raised Dustin higher, opening his mouth and showing off more of his teeth. Dustin shrieked, trying to work himself out of the giant’s hold on him. Before he could even try to plead for the monster to let him go, his fingers released Dustin’s shoulders, letting him fall.

There was a sickening crunch of bones, and then nothing at all. Blood dripped from the giant’s mouth to the floor. The monster hissed, leaning forwards to try to drag himself down the hallway. There were more technicians hiding somewhere in the building, and he was willing to shove himself between the claustrophobic walls to find them.

Will, meanwhile, was shaking as he tried to hide himself in a cupboard, covering his mouth and trying to muffle the short, choked sobs coming from deep in his chest. He could hear the monster moving closer, and he tried to be quiet, forcing himself to stop until it had passed on. He peered through the opening between the cupboard doors, able to see movement in the hall outside the room. Inhaling sharply, he jammed his fist in his mouth to keep quiet. The hall fell silent for a moment, and Will squeezed his eyes closed. The ground had stopped moving, and Will had no idea where the giant had gone.

A massive, teeth-rattling boom suddenly jolted Will nearly out of his hiding place, a high shriek getting ripped out of his throat before he could stop it. The room fell silent again, and Will’s heart was beating hard enough to shake his whole body. He could hear the thing move, and a low whine escaped through his teeth.

The door was gently pulled open from the outside, and all Will could see momentarily was one massive black eye. He shrieked, trying to propel himself further into the cabinet.

“Gotcha.” The monster purred, before unceremoniously grabbing his leg and dragging him out of the the cabinet, dangling Will in front of his face. Wailing, Will tried to bargain with him, begging the creature not to kill him, he had no involvement with the experiment and he didn’t even know about it-

He was interrupted as something rocketed past them, exploding into the wall. The giant hissed, blood beginning to bead up at his shoulder where the piece of debris had clipped his arm. The giant nearly dropped Will, and he screamed, his attention turning to El on the floor who was trying to get the monster to put Will down. Growling, the giant narrowed his eyes at her, seemingly stuck between both of them, deciding who to go for first. Snarling, he seemed to choose Will, turning his attention back to the squirming technician with a grin.

Another piece of shattered concrete struck the monster in the neck, and he made a noise somewhere between a growl and a shriek, turning sharply to El. Instead of immediately chasing her, the monster glanced once at Will before dropping him in his mouth, careful not to crush him. Once his attention was off the smaller lab technician, he clambered after El as she bolted down the hallway, not expecting the giant to hold Will hostage. She backtracked to the common room, running around the hole in the floor and pressing herself against the wall on the opposite side of the room that the monster was on. Growling, the giant pulled himself forwards until he was in front of the hole, his eyes narrowed darkly on her face. Before she could try to attack him, he slunk forwards, stepping into the pit until he was able to stand directly in front of her. The edge of the hole was about his waist level, and he towered over her, his arms on either side of her. She had nowhere to turn to.

The giant made to pick her up, and she tried to bolt through the opening he had made by lifting his arm. Startled, the giant moved involuntarily, crushing El on accident in his rushed attempt to stop her. Clambering back out of the pit, he frowned at the mess he had made, having not intended to kill the obviously telekinetic scientist so early. He investigated the bloody spot on the floor for a minute before sighing and looking around the silent common room.

The realization came that he could escape now, if he wanted. There were no other technicians to stop him, except maybe the one he still had trapped in his mouth. He could feel it, squirming around in there, no doubt scared out of its mind. He decided that there was no reason to keep it waiting, and he tilted his head back to swallow it.

He was startled by a slamming sound. Another one of the technicians burst through the door at the other end of the room. Growling, the giant stopped, gritting his teeth together. How many of these things were there?

The new scientist had some kind of stun gun in its hand, something that made the giant snicker, knowing it wouldn’t bother him in his much larger state.

“That can’t hurt me. you know that, don’t you?” He purred. The technician scowled at him, pausing at the edge of the pit in the floor.

“This can’t, but if you go out there, they can,” the technician gestured to the wall, indicating the citizens living outside the compound. “There are hundreds of them out there, and they’ll all team up on you if you try to escape.” it said, its voice confident. It had clearly thought this conversation through. The giant scowled at it, his eyes narrowing sharply.

“I’ll walk away from here, and i won’t tell anyone about your existence, as long as you let Will go.” Lucas said. The giant noticed the scientist was beginning to shake, and he thought the offer over. Frowning, he realized the technician on the floor was right. It would be better for him to live secretly in the compound rather than trying to escape. Nodding slowly, he spit the still-writhing human from his mouth into his hand, dropping it on the floor in front of the other one, pushing both of them away from him. He didn’t want to deal with those things anymore.

Lucas exhaled shakily as the giant pushed him forwards, and grabbed Will by the arm. Will was shivering violently, sobbing as Lucas pulled him along, trying to soothe the smaller man. Will was limping, and Lucas could see blood leaking from multiple small lacerations all over him from the monster’s teeth. He looked behind him once to see the giant slithering back underground into the pit. Shuddering, he led Will outside.

#death /#abcs of death

4 notes · View notes

vaalinors · 6 years

Text

you’re the anchor (that i tied to my brain)

Edward Elric to the last jedi 9 pm DON’T BE FUCKING LATE IM TALKIN TO U YAO: pray tell where the fuck is my brother

Edward Elric: it is 8 o fucking clock

Edward Elric: im locked the fuck out of the house

Edward Elric: and al STILL ISN’T BACK FROM HIS GODFUCK SHITHOLE DATE

Paninya: ed take a deep breath n hurl urself into a pond or smth

Paninya: als been freakin out about mei for at least 38478392 years now

Paninya: let him relieve his thirst

Paninya: AND BTW THIS IS UR OWN DAMN FAULT

Edward Elric: how in The FUCK???? is this MY FAULT??????

Paninya: u couldve had a perfectly gross dorm on campus bUT NO U HAD TO BE BOUJEE N RENT AN APARTMENT WITH UR BROTHER

Edward Elric: IM ONLY LOCKED OUT BC AL LOST HIS GODDAMN KEY AND I

Edward Elric: BEING THE SAINTLY BROTHER THAT I AM

Ling Yao: w0w thats a lie

Edward Elric: GAVE HIM MINE AND NOW I GOTTA SCREAM AT HIM TILL HE PUTS HIS TONGUE BACK IN HIS OWN MOUTH AND COMES THE FUCK BACK

Winry Rockbell: u reeaaallly dont gotta

Paninya: have u heard??? of this thing??????

Paninya: called????? pm?????????????

Paninya: bc its a thing u could use to bitch at al without annoyin the entire shit outta the rest of us

Ling Yao: lol lan fans at her grandpas rn and her phone cant be put on silent

Ling Yao: shes going to kick ur ass

Edward Elric: IM gonna kick ALS ass if he doesnt show up in the next half hour I DONT CARE IF HES ON A FUCKIN DATE

Ling Yao: may i remind u my sister is the girl ur brothers currently wooing

Ling Yao: u do that and lan fan wont be the only one kicking ur ass

Edward Elric: what think u can take me weakLing

Ling Yao: uh duh but i was talking about mei

Edward Elric: PLS shes what half a foot tall????? PLSSSSSSS

Lan Fan: so twice as tall as you

Edward Elric: DO,,,,,U WANT,,,,,,.,TO FUCKING DIE,,,,,,,.,.,,,,

Lan Fan: edward

Lan Fan: i am at my grandfathers house

Lan Fan: my phone is ringing so loud my neighbors think their doorbells r broken

Lan Fan: my grandfather is ready to smash it into oblivion

Lan Fan: if he does we WILL be reliving 3/10 and youll be tasting a lot more than just your stomach acid when im done with you

Lan Fan: do not make me sneak out of training to answer you again

Paninya: Rekt™

Ling Yao: mic drop

Edward Elric: psh whatever

Edward Elric: u fuckers think 3/10 scared me

Edward Elric: GUESS FUCKING AGAIN

Edward Elric: FUCKING C O M E A T M E

Paninya: o look shes typing

Edward Elric: anyway im gonna pm al goodnight and thank u

Winry Rockbell to is it gay to want to literally drink ushers voice: OI AL how was the date

Winry Rockbell: I WANT DETAILS

Edward Elric: if anyone wants to know how to be the Creepiest Fucking Person Ever

Edward Elric: talk to winry

Winry Rockbell: well seeing that i won best ed impression two years in a row now id say i do indeed know

Edward Elric: HAR DE HAR

Edward Elric: u think u fucking know me???

Alphonse Elric: Is it hard?

Paninya: yea all u rlly gotta do is yell fuck a lot

Alphonse Elric: Put ur hair in a braid with one obnoxious ass strand sticking right up

Winry Rockbell: dont forget u have to crouch down

Winry Rockbell: i recommend kneeling

Edward Elric: dont think i cant deck all u shitdicks

Ling Yao: ive just annoyed the info out of my sister

Ling Yao: it seems al is quite the casanova

Ling Yao: clearly not a family trait BUT

Edward Elric: i will piss in ur backpack

Ling Yao: case in point

Ling Yao: ANYWAYS UPDATE ON THE BET FRONT

Ling Yao: as im sure u all know ned, roy mustang and i have had an ongoing wager AKA who can wrangle the most freshies into joining his club

Ling Yao: well as of today the martial arts/dance troupe has 20 more members

Edward Elric: BULLSHIT

Ling Yao: and i believe that pulls me ahead of ned to tie evenly with mustang

Ling Yao: and really would any of u choose archery over martial arts??

Paninya: tbh i choose social life over any clubs but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Edward Elric: basic bitch

Paninya: u kno it

Paninya: but srsly wtf shifty how did u get 20 new members so fast

Lan Fan: he showed off and gave his number out to like half of them

Ling Yao: :O how could u EXPOSE ME LIKE THIS

Ling Yao: I tRuSTeD YOu

Lan Fan: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Edward Elric: just u fuckin wait ling

Edward Elric: ill leave both u asshats in the GROUND

Alphonse Elric: I mean first u have to

Alphonse Elric: Yknow

Alphonse Elric: Be taller than the ground

Edward Elric: I LIVE WITH U I CAN MAKE UR LIFE FUCKING MISERABLE U HEAR

Winry Rockbell to kyle ron WHOMST???: so about laser tag this weekend

Winry Rockbell: invite lings sister yay or nay

Lan Fan: why not

Rosé Thomas: It’d even us out

Rebecca Catalina: does it even matter tbh we all kno whichever team rizas on is gonna win

Riza Hawkeye: Catalina i resent that statement

Rebecca Catalina: pls point to me where thE LIE IS HAWKEYE

Winry Rockbell: ok then

Winry Rockbell added Mei Chang to the chat

Paninya: EY UVE JUST BECOME PART OF THE MESS THAT IS US SOPHS

Maria Ross: and a few seniors

Paninya: WE’RE BASICALLY A KPOP GROUP BUT BETTER (ʘ‿ʘ✿)

Lan Fan: ok we’re going laser tagging this weekend you in

Mei Chang: i feel like i may die if i say no so as long as my idiot brother isn’t going i’m in

Paninya to could u actually perhaps makin bacon pancakes: [DELETED MESSAGE]

Ling Yao: wot

Alphonse Elric: Whos going laser tagging

Winry Rockbell: pan ffs

Paninya: (◔◡◔✿)

Edward Elric: fuckin RUDE

Lan Fan to Panko: what is it

Panko: i have no idea what u mean my dear

Lan Fan: uve been typing for an hour now AND i can hear your teeth grinding from my room

Panko: i have no idea what u could be referring to my sweet

Panko: i just wanna kno how ur days been

Lan Fan: this is about ling isnt it

Panko: dear

Panko: u used an emoji

Panko: u never use emojis

Lan Fan: look i get that youre just looking out for me

Lan Fan: but its fine and so am i

Lan Fan: i really dont need a pity heart to heart

Lan Fan: besides hed give out his number to everyone in the world if he could thats just who he is

Panko: well ur not wrong

Panko: is it bad to say im so glad i rarely have to deal with bois

Lan Fan: girls can be idiots too

Panko: ppl in general usually r

Alphonse Elric to WE CANT KEEP DOWN ALL THAT VODKA ON KRAFT MAC N CHEESE: So i cant feel

Ling Yao: mY FACE WHEN IM WITH U

Alphonse Elric: That and the rest of my body

Alphonse Elric: How is one person so funny and sweet and amazing

Paninya: MY SON HES IN LOVE YALL

Paninya: ITS TRUE FUCKIN LOVE

Paninya: ELRIC 2.0 TEXT ME IF U NEED ANYTHIN

Paninya: CONDOMS

Winry Rockbell: oh god

Paninya: BIRTH CONTROL

Edward Elric: PAN WHAT THE FUCK U THINK AL KNOWS WHAT A CONDOM IS

Paninya: HE IS A HORNY TEENAGE BOI I BET U MY ENTIRE ASS HES USED ONE BEFORE

Lan Fan: PANINYA

Mei Chang: uh

Paninya: oh fuck

Ling Yao: mei so it was U that made that balloon fart noise just now

Lan Fan: ling kindly shut up

Edward Elric: SO AL ISNT BREATHING I THINK HES DEAD

Edward Elric: HES BEEN STARING AT HIS PHONE FOR 10 MINS NOW FUCK WHAT DO I DO

Paninya: CALL 911 U MORON

Lan Fan: where do you live i know CPR

Ling Yao: thats hot

Winry Rockbell: MEI PRETEND U CANT READ

Mei Chang: er i can’t read suddenly i don’t know

Ling Yao: (╯°□°)╯now she gives in to the memes

Edward Elric: ok nvm hes alive

Edward Elric: buT I M NOT GONNA BE FUC KBRB RUNNINGgh

Paninya: rip in peace

Alphonse Elric to how Extra™ do u gotta be to come up with fuccboi: So we’re still down for gta tomorrow right

Alphonse Elric: Ed cant make it because i killed him

Ling Yao: the old ed cant come to the phone right now

Ling Yao: why

Edward Elric: because hes going to cut off lings fucking elbows

Roy Mustang: can you even reach his fingers

Edward Elric: listeN HERE U liL SHIT

Alphonse Elric kicked Edward Elric from the chat

Ling Yao: thats cold

Ling Yao added Edward Elric to the chat

Roy Mustang: i knew it couldnt last

Edward Elric: if any of u polefucks ever want to know how to get ling to do something bother lan fan

Ling Yao: try it again and i will Key Your Face

Ling Yao: she has a physics test tomorrow

Alphonse Elric: Wow

Roy Mustang: :O

Jean Havoc: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Edward Elric: i got the beer for tmr night

Alphonse Elric: Damn right u do im not letting u in otherwise

Edward Elric: ignore asshurt over here hes pissed i embarrassed him in front of his date

Roy Mustang: at least he has one

Jean Havoc: yeah have u ever had a girlfriend edward??

Denny Brosh: Do you know what a woman is ned????

Edward Elric has left the chat

Ling Yao to Good Shit ✔💯: hey lan fan

Ling Yao: LAN FAAAAAN

Good Shit ✔💯: what

Ling Yao: guess who i just saw in chem doodling one miss rockbells name on his hw

Good Shit ✔💯: no

Ling Yao: oh yes

Ling Yao: i wanted to take a pic but ed decided to be a good student and tore it off before handing it in

Good Shit ✔💯: does he even try in chem

Ling Yao: no but at least he doesnt fall asleep like he does in lit

Good Shit ✔💯: hemingway puts everyone to sleep

Good Shit ✔💯: read some brontë or steinbeck

Good Shit ✔💯: id say dickens too but anti Semitism and all

Ling Yao: i love it when u talk lit to me

Ling Yao: reminds me of when u used to sneak into our library and read the biggest books u could find

Good Shit ✔💯: better than you climbing up the side of my house to sneak into my room

Ling Yao: pls u loved it

Good Shit ✔💯: debatable

Good Shit ✔💯: club meetings today dont forget

Ling Yao: how can i ur always here to remind me ;)

Winry Rockbell added Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye, Jean Havoc, Maria Ross, and Rebecca Catalina to ROSE TYLER DEFENSE SQUAD WHERE YALL AT

Winry Rockbell: just so we’re clear friday nights a byob sitch

Lan Fan: well wade was totally off

Ling Yao: atta girl

Paninya: wow and here i was thinkin byob meant bug ur own business

Edward Elric: what the utter fuck

Alphonse Elric: Dont act coy u LIVED a bugs life ed

Winry Rockbell: BRING YOUR OWN BOTTLE CAPICHE

Winry Rockbell: jesus now ive got the kim possible theme song stuck in my head

Edward Elric: if one of u picks yoshi i will e n d u

Paninya: no promises n its not our fault yoshi pushed ur fool ass off mushroom gorge that one time

Rebecca Catalina: LMAOOO

Edward Elric: that demonic fucking dinosaur needs to go extinct

Roy Mustang: since brosh doesnt give a shit do we want to make this a floor thing

Ling Yao: i see what ur doing mercedes benz u sneak ass

Roy Mustang: you caught up yao i can finally start trying

Edward Elric: news flash fuckers i got 5 more ppl today u can both suck my ASS

Winry Rockbell: ok but keep it small

Lan Fan: ,,,,,,,

Maria Ross: this is why timing’s important kids

Ling Yao: how much smaller could his butt get

Roy Mustang: are we even be able to locate it

Rebecca Catalina: does ned even have a torso????

Edward Elric: I HOPE U ALL ROT IN HELL

Paninya changed the chat name to eds ass is bigfoot pass it on

Winry Rockbell to Mulan but Better: is it weird that i cant stop smiling at ed

Winry Rockbell: hes sleeping in the chair across from me

Mulan but Better: a bit

Winry Rockbell: yeah

Winry Rockbell: hes such a nerd

Mulan but Better: but hes your nerd

Roy Mustang changed the chat name to WHO TE HFUCKS IDEA WAS IT O MAKE THIS AFLOOR THING

Edward Elric changed the chat name to URS U FUCKING CURLY STRAW

Paninya to wubba lubba dub dub: all of u need to see this Spicy™ video of ed from last night

Winry Rockbell: pan its 9 fucking am

Winry Rockbell: who tf is up that cares

Paninya: o dont u worry winnie the pooh

Lan Fan: yep shes still drunk

Paninya: i think ed will when he stops groaning in the bathroom there

Paninya sent a video in the chat

Paninya: srsly im postin this on ig later

Winry Rockbell: SHIT thats loud

Alphonse Elric: What the fuck is that

Riza Hawkeye: Is

Riza Hawkeye: Is he singing mad world

Paninya: u bet ur blonde ass he is

Lan Fan: was this after we took turns playing yoshi and demolishing him in mario kart

Paninya: u bet ur toned ass it was

Winry Rockbell: paninya i can barely hear anything over u shouting STRIP STRIP STRIP in the bg

Ling Yao: edward really is tone deaf isnt he

Ling Yao: oh hes stopped puking

Ling Yao: hes looking at his phone

Alphonse Elric: Rip in peace our bloodshot eyes

Edward Elric: wHAT THE ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS IS THAT

Edward Elric: WHAT THE ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS

Edward Elric: WHAT THE ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS DID U ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS DO TO MY PHONE

Ling Yao: HAHAHAHA OH MY GOD

Roy Mustang: dear jesus what is happening

Paninya: oH MY WHICH ONE OF U DID THIS

Paninya: I WILL K I S S U

Mei Chang: there is way too much shouting this goddamn early in the morning

Ling Yao: while u were busy cackling over that video i may or may not have convinced lan fan to steal eds phone

Edward Elric: U ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS BETTER ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS FIX MY ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS PHONE OR IM ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS

Jean Havoc: hes like an infuriated duck with a lisp

Roy Mustang: siri what is the tiniest species of duck

Edward Elric: U WANNA ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS FIGHT

Paninya: pls tell me one of u hungover fucks is gettin this on video

Mei Chang: lan fan u okay?

Lan Fan: yeah too much shouting i have a headache

Lan Fan: add me back when ed calms down (◕ ‿ ◕✿)

Lan Fan has left the chat

Paninya: hey ed ill bet even yoshi can say fuck

Edward Elric: FOR ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS SAKE

Lan Fan to Guns n Roses: hey

Lan Fan: i dont know where you are rn

Lan Fan: im still sort of hungover and i kind of need someone to talk to who isnt going to get angry or

Lan Fan: try and rationalize everything and well

Lan Fan: do you ever just wish that things could change

Lan Fan: that you could be someone entirely different or that you could get out and leave and not give a damn about anything or anyone or

Lan Fan: because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Guns n Roses: Okay i was at work but i’m coming back right now

Guns n Roses: And i’m going to get you tea and you’re going to tell me whatever you want to tell me okay??

Lan Fan: thanks

Paninya to ID SING OH CANADA TOO IF MY PM HAD AN ASS LIKE THAT: ok but for real

Paninya: dicks r like mushrooms

Paninya: little funny gross mushrooms

Rosé Thomas: Paninya you’re high go home

Paninya: oh sweet flower i wish i was

Winry Rockbell: its 4 fucking am GO TO SLEEP

Paninya: time is an illusion

Paninya to TRICKY tricky TRICKY tricky: i crave the sweet release of death

Edward Elric: FUCKING KARMA

Winry Rockbell: i could hear u playing music at 5 am again today why tf have u been up so late

Paninya: my roommate was screaming french at me

Paninya: she has a test today

Paninya: also

Paninya added Lan Fan to the chat

Paninya: LAN FANNNNNNNN

Lan Fan: i didnt do the psych hw paninya

Lan Fan: and run-dmc doesnt deserve this subpar treatment

Alphonse Elric: Lan fan

Alphonse Elric: Lings been looking for u

Lan Fan: i know its ok dont worry about it

Edward Elric: A FUCKING BIRD JUST SHAT ON MY HEAD

Paninya: what was that????? u said???????

Paninya: about karma?????????

Edward Elric: WHAT IS THIS LITERAL SHIT ON ED DAY

Lan Fan: is that not everyday

Edward Elric: I WILL FIGHT ALL U ASSDICKS

Lan Fan: 3/10 edward

Edward Elric: i will fight me for only i myself am the one assdick here thank u amen and goodbye

Lan Fan to Literal Monkey™: so i hear you were looking for me

Literal Monkey™: that depends

Literal Monkey™: what did i do lan fan

Literal Monkey™: did i say something

Literal Monkey™: tell me what i did that made you so upset at me

Literal Monkey™: if i did something im sorry i really am but you cant just disappear and not even tell me whats wrong

Lan Fan: i know

Lan Fan: it wasnt you i just

Lan Fan: my grandfathers relapse and its been rough with classes lately

Lan Fan: it kind of hit me that i cant always afford to be chill all the time

Lan Fan: sorry ive been mia

Literal Monkey™: well now i feel like a dick

Literal Monkey™: ur my best friend lan fan and i think ive gotten so used to u being near i freak out when ur not

Literal Monkey™: i guess it kind of says something about me that might not be a good thing

Literal Monkey™: especially since i climbed the side of ur house to see if u went back home and u werent there

Lan Fan: you w h a t

Ling Yao to Frying Pan: in hindsight

Ling Yao: i prob shouldnt have told her about the climbing

Ling Yao: shes not talking to me again

Frying Pan: u done fucked up boiii

Ling Yao: so will u tell me whats really wrong with her now

Frying Pan: not a chance boiii

Winry Rockbell to Wannabe Alchemist: hey i know its kind of sudden

Winry Rockbell: and u prob have other things to do

Wannabe Alchemist: nah im free shoot

Winry Rockbell: could u maybe come with me this weekend

Wannabe Alchemist: …are u sure

Wannabe Alchemist: i mean of course ill go hell even if i had a meeting with the goddamn president id skip it to go anywhere with u

Wannabe Alchemist: but i dont want to overstep my right or anything

Winry Rockbell: no ed u could never impose

Winry Rockbell: its just been kind of a shit year

Winry Rockbell: i dont know if i can handle going to visit them alone this time

Wannabe Alchemist: dont worry im there for u

Wannabe Alchemist: whatever u need

Winry Rockbell: i

Winry Rockbell: thanks ed

Wannabe Alchemist: theyd be proud of u win

Winry Rockbell: :)

Winry Rockbell: not to degrade ur sentiment or anything because damn ed u can be sweet

Winry Rockbell: but id do buttfuck anything besides meet with our president

Wannabe Alchemist: i read that as u would butt fuck anything but shit u right

Mei Chang to “3/10 WASNT EVEN THAT BAD” famous last words: paninya was that you outside my school trying to sell taylor swift tshirts

Lan Fan: paninya what the hell

Paninya: ok HS GIRLS EAT TSWIFT UP

Mei Chang: you looked stalkerish as hell my principal was going to call the police

Winry Rockbell: just burn them in a rusty can like the ratchet ho u are

Paninya: what is This Disrespect™ n pls im not gonna burn them that merch cost me lk 984759 bucks

Lan Fan: sounds fake but ok

Ling Yao: and why tf would u sell them taylor swift is finally getting interesting

Winry Rockbell: yeah shes finally being savage af isnt this what u signed up for

Paninya: hey i signed up for Drama Taylor

Paninya: this is just plain whoring for attention

Alphonse Elric: Not sure those terms are mutually exclusive

Edward Elric: HOLY FUCK

Lan Fan: speaking of whoring for attention

Edward Elric: I GOT MUSTANG TO PLAY LEAGUE

Edward Elric: went straight for brand the dumb fucking pyromaniac

Alphonse Elric: Can i just remind u that ur first time ur jerk ass went right for garen

Edward Elric: GAREN is a PERFECTLY FUCKING GOOD CHAMPION TO GO FOR WHEN UR A NOOB DUMBASS

Alphonse Elric: Sounds fake but ok

Ling Yao: and a bit like neds trying to compensate for something

Edward Elric: U ALL AINT SHIT

Lan Fan: its yaint

Ling Yao: u uncultured fuck

Paninya: k first of all lol is a game for 13 year old prepubescent boys

Lan Fan: so perfect for edward

Edward Elric: DONT FUCKING TRY U KNOW UR A HO FOR AKALI

Edward Elric: ,,,,,,,,dont say 3/10 u know i would rather fucking die

Lan Fan: then perish

Alphonse Elric: Ed did U make that whale noise

Winry Rockbell: the real question here is paninya???? can actually spell???????? words???????? whAT??????

Paninya: SECOND OF ALL any of u want tswift shirts hmu (◡‿◡✿)

Edward Elric: taylor swift is fucking great why the fuck would u sell them

Winry Rockbell: ………..

Alphonse Elric: ……………………

Paninya: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Lan Fan changed the chat name to ill take edward elric is fake Punk Rock™ for 800 alex

Edward Elric: OI U CAN BE PUNK ROCK AND STILL LISTEN TO GUILTY PLEASURE POP

Winry Rockbell: SOUNDS FAKE BUT OK

Rosé Thomas added Mei Chang, Alphonse Elric, Edward Elric, Roy Mustang, and Riza Hawkeye to Unnamed

Paninya changed the chat name to PROJECT LINGFAN

Paninya: ALRIGHT LISTEN UP

Alphonse Elric: What the hell is lingfan

Paninya: PLS WITHHOLD ALL QUESTIONS TILL THE END OF THE BRIEFING MY PRECIOUS CHILD

Winry Rockbell: she continues??? to spell????? correctly???????? what i am amazed?????????????

Paninya: ROCKBELL FULL OFFENSE STFU

Winry Rockbell: rude

Paninya: SO EVERYONE HERE KNOWS OUR GOOD FRIEND LING YAO AKA SHIFTY AKA MONKEY BOI AKA CO-PRES OF THE MARTIAL ARTS/DANCE TROUPE YEA

Mei Chang: if i say no can i leave

Paninya: AND EVERYONE ALSO KNOWS MY SPICY GIRL LIGHT OF MY LIFE LAN FAN AKA DEFINITION OF BADASS AKA EDS WORST NIGHTMARE AKA CO-PRES OF THE MARTIAL ARTS/DANCE TROUPE YEA

Edward Elric: she is not my worst fucking nightmare

Mei Chang: so you don’t turn into a stuttering baby every time she brings up 3/10

Edward Elric: U WERENT THERE U DONT FUCKING K N O W

Paninya: AND EVERYONE HERE KNOWS THAT THOSE 2 HAVE THE BIGGEST RAGING BONERS FOR EACH OTHER THAT ANYONES EVER FUCKIN SEEN YEA

Winry Rockbell: i feel like there was a better way of putting that

Edward Elric: wait hold THE FUCK UP ur fucking with me right

Roy Mustang: yes edward

Roy Mustang: she made an entire separate chat and invited all these people just so she could fuck with you

Alphonse Elric: Thats literally what the normal group chat is for wtf ned

Edward Elric: what the UTTER FUCK???? LING AND LAN FAN????????

Rosé Thomas: You were right winry he’s blind

Alphonse Elric: Dude how the hell are u so ignorant

Riza Hawkeye: Edward are you really unaware of this

Edward Elric: HOW DO U ALL KNOW ABOUT THIS WHAT THE FUCK

Roy Mustang: id ask if you saw them at the floor party but i remembered you were too busy practicing for your x factor audition

Paninya: OK ED SINCE UR CLEARLY THE OBLIVIOUSEST FUCKING PERSON ON THE FACE OF THE GODDAMN PLANET

Winry Rockbell: obliviousest

Winry Rockbell: i knew it wouldnt last

Paninya: LET ME JUST HIT U WITH SOME EXAMPLES

Paninya: LAN FAN NEVER BLUSHES UNLESS U MENTION LING TO HER AND THEYVE KNOWN EACH OTHER SINCE C H I L D H O O D

Paninya: WHEN LAN FAN SHATTERED HER ARM IN FRESHMAN YEAR LING CARRIED HER HALFWAY TO THE DAMN HOSPITAL AND SLEPT NEXT TO HER SICKBED FOR THE ENTIRE WEEK SHE WAS THERE

Roy Mustang: he threatened to and i quote ‘key your face’ if you bothered her again

Winry Rockbell: lan fan only shattered her arm that time because some dumbass thugs tried to jump ling in order to threaten his dad

Mei Chang: whenever lan fan doesnt answer him right away he gets all huffy and paces for hours and checks his phone like 500 times until she replies LIKE SHE ALWAYS DOES

Paninya: LITERALLY TODAY OK RIZA CAN CONFIRM IM WALKIN TO MEET LAN FAN FOR PSYCH AND I SEE HER PRACTICING A FUCKING KARATE MOVE OR SOME SHIT WITH LING ON THE QUAD

Paninya: SHE STARTS LAUGHING AND I SWEAR ON MY FANTASTIC ASS LING STARES AT HER FOR 10 WHOLE MINS

Paninya: SHES BENDING HIS LEG FARTHER THAN ANY LEG SHOULD BEND AND HES LOOKING AT HER LIKE SHES THE ONLY DAMN THING WORTH KNOWING IN THE ENTIRE FUCKIN UNIVERSE

Paninya: THIS HAS BEEN HAPPENIN FOR YEARS I CANT EVEN WITH THEIR UNNECESSARY ANGST ANYMORE

Paninya: THEY NEED TO GET THEIR SHIT TOGETHER BEFORE I ACTUALLY FUCKIN EXPLODE JFC (╯✿◕益◕)╯︵ ┻━┻

Riza Hawkeye: That is indeed what happened

Rosé Thomas: And that’s why we made this chat

Rosé Thomas: So all of you can experience our pain

Edward Elric: ,,,,,,

Alphonse Elric: Seriously wtf is a lingfan

Mei Chang to pacific rim uprising is the sequel we didnt know we wanted and always needed no one fight me on this: you all know my name is mei right

Paninya: first time im hearin it

Mei Chang: because my calc teacher doesnt

Winry Rockbell: oh god what does he call u

Mei Chang: literally ‘mee’

Edward Elric: RIP IN FUCKING PEACE

Paninya: wot in tarnation

Ling Yao: u mean wot in pronunciation

Mei Chang: mee-eye is okay and mYE sure but MEE

Paninya: dw a teacher called me panYEA once lk??? bless u????

Edward Elric: omfg PETITION TO CALL PANINYA PANYEAH FROM NOW ON

Lan Fan: panno

Winry Rockbell: a teacher called me wine-ry in fifth grade like how in the actual fuck could u mess win-ree up

Edward Elric: maybe bc u were indeed hella whiny

Winry Rockbell: at least she knew i was there u were too smol to see over the table

Alphonse Elric: Better loud than nonexistent

Edward Elric: GTFO AL I WAS FUCKING TALLER THAN U

Paninya: “was”

Mei Chang: in any case i’m done trying to correct him hello yes my name is mee

Ling Yao: and wen it nite

Paninya: wtf r u on ling yao n where can i get some

Winry Rockbell: its another fucking meme i stg lan fan pls control this boy

Lan Fan: the kalc teachre cannt saye it rhite

Ling Yao: vINdICatION

Edward Elric to PROJECT LINGFAN: fuck this they gotta be in love

Winry Rockbell to Mulan but Better: hey theyre selling stroop waffles outside the bio building

Winry Rockbell: i can grab some for u if ur in class

Winry Rockbell: wait is that u in line

Winry Rockbell: are u wearing a lab coat

Winry Rockbell: u ran out of class didnt u

Winry Rockbell: did u not even bother to take off ur goggles u look like a nerdy terminator

Winry Rockbell: how many are u buying holy shit ARE U STUFFING THEM IN UR LABORATORY COAT POCKETS

Winry Rockbell: DID U JUST N A R U T O R U N OUT OF THE QUAD

Mulan but Better: why are you still asking me you know the answers yes

Roy Mustang to My Queen™: theyre selling stroop waffles right now

My Queen™: Has ling gotten there yet

Roy Mustang: theyre no longer selling stroop waffles right now

Rosé Thomas to 7 excellents and LAN FAN THE WAFFLE TRAITOR: It’s official

Rosé Thomas: Mustang won the bet

Winry Rockbell: wow i forgot that was still going on

Maria Ross: how’s ed taking it

Rosé Thomas: Oh how you would think he’d take it

Paninya: EYYYY EDS GONNA ATTRACT THE CAMPUS POPO AGAIN

Roy Mustang to PROJECT LINGFAN (WHAT IS A LINGFAN SOMEONE TELL ME ALREADY): if ling lost the bet he had to choose

Roy Mustang: either actually outright confess to lan fan or end whatever it is they have

Paninya: Y TF WOULD U GIVE HIM THE SECOND OPTION ALL THEY NEED TO DO IS STOP DANCIN AROUND EACH OTHER N BANG

Alphonse Elric: Paninya its more complicated than that

Paninya: WHAT IN THE 7TH RING OF HELL COULD BE SO COMPLICATED ABOUT THIS

Mei Chang: long story short

Mei Chang: our familys shit deep in politics

Mei Chang: either ling gets in there shit deep too or hes married off

Edward Elric: well fuck

Rosé Thomas: Lan fan knows

Rosé Thomas: When she messaged me after the party i found out that this is why she was so upset

Rosé Thomas: Apparently a drunk ling told her that she should leave him because ‘he’s scared about what would happen if he stopped caring and she deserves better than a coward’

Paninya: well now i feel like shit

Mei Chang: welcome to my world

Mei Chang to Secret Swiftie: remember how you came to my school and almost got arrested

Mei Chang: a couple of girls are asking about your tshirts

Secret Swiftie: call it what u want is a fuckin eargasm I TAKE IT ALL BACK ALL OF IT

Secret Swiftie: I HAVE HEARD AN ACTUAL REAL LIFE A N G E L

Mei Chang: great i’ll tell them you died

Lan Fan to WHOS FAKE PUNK ROCK NOW U FILTHY FUCKING HYPOCRITES P A N I N Y A: has anyone seen my book

Paninya: what book is it

Lan Fan: howard’s end

Alphonse Elric: Forsters great

Winry Rockbell: sorry i havent

Lan Fan: its fine i probably left it in the studio

Ling Yao: oi i was just kicked out of the dining hall what kind of DISRESPECT

Paninya: k but u were eatin all the soup

Ling Yao: is that a crime now

Winry Rockbell: u took the entire pot ling

Lan Fan: you didnt even try to be stealthy about it you just ran back to your seat giggling

Mei Chang: how are they just kicking you out now

Lan Fan: oh they have he climbs back in through the window

Edward Elric: last week u complained the rice wasnt cooked

Ling Yao: have u????? had the rice here??????? itS C R U N C H Y

Edward Elric: jfc lower ur standards ur highness this is college

Lan Fan: you dont pay 70K a year to eat

Paninya: just suck it up lk the rest of us

Winry Rockbell: its either this or starve yao

Ling Yao: :O

Ling Yao changed the chat name to fake friends™

Alphonse Elric to cAn yOU FEeL iT Now mR KRAbs: What the everloving fuck do i have to murder to find out what the shit lingfan is?????¿¿¿¿¿

Lan Fan: …..

Alphonse Elric: Ah

Alphonse Elric: Wrong chat

Paninya: (✿◉‿◉)

Winry Rockbell: AL FOR THE LOV EOF

Winry Rockbell kicked Lan Fan from the chat

Winry Rockbell kicked Ling Yao from the chat

Mei Chang: you know they can still see previous messages

Edward Elric: fuckkkkkk

Paninya: well first time not directin this at edward

Paninya: duuuuuude u fucked up

Panko to Lan Fan: hey i saved u a seat in psych but u didnt look over

Panko: is this about kickin u out of the squad chat

Lan Fan: do they all know

Panko: uh kno what

Lan Fan: does everyone know paninya

Panko: if i answer will u promise not to disappear again

Panko: no one told anyone else about it if thats what ur angry about we all figured it out by ourselves

Panko: well except for ed but that boi is dumb af

Panko: n im not sayin u guys were obvious or anything it took a while until we saw it

Lan Fan: i think im going to go back to my grandfathers for the weekend

Panko: pls dont drop off the face of the earth again

Lan Fan: i wont i was going to go back anyway and space is good

Panko: ur not the only one in this lan fan

Panko: no matter how much u wont see it

Lan Fan: (◠‿◠✿)

Winry Rockbell to PROJECT LINGFAN (ALPHONSE ELRIC DONE FUCKED UP YALL): so lan fans gone

Winry Rockbell: when did u say ling had to make a choice mustang

Roy Mustang: i didnt??

Edward Elric: u said he had to make a decision and DIDNT GIVE HIM A SHITDAMN DEADLINE

Edward Elric: ITS NEVER GONNA HAPPEN NOW HONDA

Paninya: well thats just great chevrolet

Riza Hawkeye: You really didnt think this through bmw

Roy Mustang: wow at least i didnt blow our cover

Alphonse Elric: Dont throw me under the bus with u toyota at least im repentant

Paninya: alright well now that lamborgini royally fucked up

Winry Rockbell: “lamborgini”

Winry Rockbell: so close

Edward Elric: so what the fuck is gonna happen now

Winry Rockbell: ok mei can talk to ling bc she lives with him

Mei Chang: unfortunately

Rosé Thomas: I don’t know if lan fan will be willing to talk

Rosé Thomas: She used an emoji again

Mei Chang: actually i’ll talk to her someone else tackle my brother

Paninya: idk how to speak fuccboi language one of the guys gotta do it

Winry Rockbell: after roy and als fuckups who else can we choose

Edward Elric: RUDE

Roy Mustang: sit down you didnt even know they were a thing

Edward Elric: MAYBE BC I DONT POKE MY FUCKING NOSE INTO OTHER PPLS BUSINESS

Alphonse Elric: Well ofc u physically cant ned

Winry Rockbell: can u even see other ppl without platform shoes

Mei Chang: or a ladder

Edward Elric: UR FUCKING SHORTER THAN ME JFC

Paninya to milk: hate it, shouting: always, music taste: shite = I AM FORCIBLY SHUT INTO THE BODY OF A SIX YEAR OLD: RIZA TOLD ME THERE IS A PETTING ZOO 3 MILES AWAY YALL MEET AT MY CAR IN 5

Edward Elric: we’re already fucking here

Ling Yao: lol weve been here for an hour

Alphonse Elric: Mustangs been holding a komodo dragon for approx half that time

Mei Chang: winry drove us and there are llamas

Winry Rockbell: i am surrounded by puppies rn am i dead

Paninya: bitch u r to me im writin u all out of my will CLEARLY ALL MY M8S ARE SHIT

Ling Yao to Sister Mine: mei

Ling Yao: meiiiiiii

Sister Mine: i’m literally right next to you what

Ling Yao: have u ever seen lan fan with her hair down

Sister Mine: once during the floor party you all snuck me into

Sister Mine: why do you ask

Ling Yao: her hair tie broke a few days ago and she was fussing with it and i couldnt breathe

Sister Mine: when her hair is down??

Ling Yao: up, down, soaking, gone

Ling Yao: she takes my breath away, mei

Ling Yao: she takes my breath away no matter what she does, or say, or looks like and i am a coward

Sister Mine: you may be right

Ling Yao: are you ashamed of me?

Sister Mine: that depends

Sister Mine: what do you plan to do about it

Lan Fan to Literal Monkey™: hey i know its 5 am and youre probably not even awake and this is probably useless anyway considering ive been transparent as all hell

Lan Fan: but i dont think sleep is an option until i tell you

Lan Fan: youre ridiculous

Lan Fan: youre ridiculous and full of it and infuriating and reckless and beautiful and just so so idiotic

Lan Fan: id have to be too i guess

Lan Fan: to be in love with you even after all of it

Lan Fan: and i really am just that

Lan Fan: idiotic and in love with you

Literal Monkey™: thanks

Lan Fan: did you just breakfast at tiffanys me

Literal Monkey™: yes because you would understand it

Literal Monkey™: you understand lan fan

Literal Monkey™: every shitty meme or reference or word i say you’ll always always understand

Literal Monkey™: just like how you understand that im all those things you said i was

Literal Monkey™: im reckless and infuriating and indecisive and greedy and far too ridiculous to deserve you and you understand that

Literal Monkey™: and if youre idiotic for being in love with me then im a hundred times more and you understand why too

Lan Fan: i think you have too much faith in me

Literal Monkey™: i think you have too little

Literal Monkey™: come to your window

Lan Fan: what why

Literal Monkey™: because its hard to type when im barely holding onto your window frame and looking like a hero straight out of an austen novel and honestly id rather told you how much im in love with you in person

Literal Monkey™: convention and all that

Lan Fan: well alright then

Paninya changed the chat name to IT FINALLY FUCKING HAPPENED LADS LINGFAN IS REAL FUCKING CHRIST NO MORE ANGST I AM LIBERATEDDDD

Alphonse Elric: Great so can someone pls explain wtf a lingfan is now

Edward Elric: Read at 8:09 AM

FULL VERSION AND CONTINUATION HERE

37 notes · View notes