#she will feel very loved though

[benoitblanc]

no no you guys don't get it. the x files cancer arc was, excuse the pun, a fucking white whale of a tv plotline that would not have worked nearly as well on literally any other show. it was a complete hail mary. the writers' room nearly didn't make it happen because they were worried it would fall too deeply into soap opera territory. and on any other show, it would! but the x files is about four key things: mistrust in the government, faith in both science and the otherworldly, building a life around trauma, and the fine line between love and codependency. it is the only show where the entirety of this situation- a government experiment on an unwilling young catholic leads to a terminal illness that is counteracted by a literal scientific miracle in the eleventh hour due to her partner's refusal to accept her impending death- could both happen at all and happen well. none of the themes in the cancer arc were new to txf at all. they'd all been lurking, to some extent, in the background since the pilot. the cancer arc wasn't merely milking a left-field catastrophe for the drama, it shoved the overarching themes of the show to the front and said look. look what these people are to each other. look how impossible it is to face the darkness alone. regardless of when the plotline was conceived, it was always going to happen. it was the only way the story could have ever gone. they were always doomed from the beginning

#the writers also- and this is going to be a very unpopular opinion i'm sure- did themselves HUGE favors #by keeping mulder & scully still SO emotionally uptight and miscommunicative even though it would be so easy not to #because it feels REAL. this is how these characters would really react to these circumstances #they wouldn't suddenly become all sappy. they wouldn't talk to each other. they wouldn't know HOW #mulder would always just grieve and grieve and grieve and throw his life away to save her #wail silently into her bedclothes so his anguish doesn't burden her further #and scully would always insist that she's fine. she wouldn't leave him for anything not even her own health #she would never be able to tell him that she's scared of what he'd do when she was gone. she loves him far too much #anyway. is this coherent #arwen.text #the x files

[iknowwhereyousnoozeatnight]

misa my love

#death note #misa amane #alcohol #i adore her i love her sm she’s perfect and i love her very much #i drew this at a ridiculous hour and i’m also writing this at a ridiculous hour and also i might even post this at a ridiculous hour so #that’s how it is #anyways i tried using thinner lines for once thicker lines like feel better to draw and shit they work better for my style i think but #i like thin lines too they’re just sneaker to me yeah they’re sneakier they like do things that thicker lines don’t and they feel different #w my pen even though they are just smaller idk they have vibes that are different anyways goodnight goodbye i’m tired

[revelisms]

Lil' comic of a scene from a fic I haven't gotten around to writing.

(basically Vi and Jinx have reconciled, Silco is alive, and Vi is begrudingly finding herself beginning to look up Silco as a mentor/father figure. She accompanies him on an errand run, one of which winds them up at the old cannery, and emotions bubble up biiig time 🥲)

#y'know the 'makings of greatness' treasure planet scene? #yeah #arcane #arcane fanart #silco #vi #drawing #this is so messy lkg #just going to call these my post-it note doodles #vi with parentification issues resenting that she wasn't the soft image of their mother that powder likely needed #and still not knowing how to work through that - especially since she feels like jinx no longer *needs* her (even though she does) #and dad silco daughter vi just #hits something man #because they *hate* each other and they have every reason to #but there's just #aughghg #so much potential for character development with them #silco and jinx is codependent central and we love it but silco and vi is the hard hitting boundary setting raging arguments and i eat it up #very much hcing that silco sees his inner child in jinx vs. his angry young adult self in vi #and both of those effect his (somewhat disastrous / sometimes okay) parenting #it's a sliding scale

[kumatm]

Tumble should also know that I’ve got a girlfriend and I love her very much

#do not fucking tell her that I’m up rn bc I’m always getting onto her about staying up late #anyways its 2am and I love her very much #I have a hard time articulating how I feel and it’s my business not yours #BUT #she’s so sweet and funny and gets me in a way that no one I’ve every met in my entire life has #it’s as though we were made in the same mold by different chefs #anywayyyssssss I want to kiss her so bad it’s making me actually I’ll #explodes and tries to go to sleep (failing) #ily Wiitty

[butterflysonnets]

yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.

to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!

i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.

also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.

they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.

they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.

i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.

#eve text #elmike #stranger things #byler #only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol #tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS #god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear #i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable #i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts #elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about #even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike #i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up #the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me #and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing... #the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me #and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin #also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice… #fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK #so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows #i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too??? #love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk #tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO... #like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO #stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest #anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul #i need frivolity #ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show

[meownotgood]

aki talking to you: have you eaten anything good for you today? sweetheart... if you don't eat well, you could get sick or give yourself a stomach ache. c'mon, I'll make you something, what would you like? maybe some soup, that'd be easy on your stomach. and next time, if you've only got snacks at home, just call me and I'll come over for dinner, okay?

aki talking to denji & power: eat your fucking vegetables

#he loves them very much #I feel like aki's lenient sometimes with them like making denji's favorite foods for him or letting powy skip veggies if she won't eat em #but only sometimes... #often he's the you get what you get and you don't pitch a fit kind of caregiver looooool #they can't stay healthy on just sweets or just meat #aki lying to power and telling her cauliflower is brains so she'll eat it #he's the sweetest to you though of course #it makes powy and denji a little jealous #'aki why are you so nice to them you don't make us whatever we want like that???!!!' #aki: 'because we're together. now eat your vegetables' #aki <3

[bonefall]

Do you have a design for Bright Storm? I'm fond of the wise older figure thing you're doing with her

I do NOW

Made her, as well as a revamp of my old Thunder Storm design (I last drew him like a year ago!!) in preparation for some character summaries I plan to bang out after finishing a couple drafts, but Bright in particular gets requested so much (anon you're like the 4th person) that HERE, lady girl and her son be upon ye

I'm thinking about doing the BB!DOTC character summaries in "family" posts, so they're all grouped together the way I plan them to act in the story. Every family is telling a little mini-story of its own, in a way, from the Frost family and their inventing prowess, to the Heart family and how the kits react to Bumble's exile, to the Storm family and how they grapple with Clear Sky's influence.

I wanted to make sure Bright Storm was very large and powerful looking, but in a round, kind of "humble" way. She downplays her strength, her intelligence, and even her better judgement.

So she has these big cheeks, fluffy primordial pouch, poofy tail, keeps her head low-ish. Tends to deny compliments.

I was commiserating with my partner the other day about how intelligent characters aren't allowed to be thick-bodied. So between my fat, beloved Bumble the translator and Bright Storm the wise woman battle strategist I'm feeding us both

I needed to "finalize" their stripe pattern, because I actually plan for TIGERSTAR to have the same one. I'm probably going to update my Tawnypelt and Bramblestar designs to have it too; if they don't look better with Goldenflower's.

I just like the irony and bitterness of it. That these ancient stripes, once so associated with compassion and righteous fury, turn into a "legacy" so divorced from what Thunder Storm and Bright Storm stood for.

Becoming a symbol for the idea of modern ThunderClan and the culture of the new times, not the principles it was founded on.

Also I HAD to do the design thing where Thunder Storm's stripes look like top surgery scars lmao, my beloved transmasc boy

Anyway, I've decided that Thunder Storm was a REALLY dark orange. It bugs me a little, especially in-canon, that he looks nothing like either parent. So in BB he's not too far off color-wise from his mama.

I also removed the old "mane" and replaced it with combination white chest + his father's shoulder burls. The mane is going to become a Forest Cat trait, which is why it's going to get so prominent in ThunderClan.

Instead, Mountain Cats have a REALLY high concentration of ear tufts in their genes. They're also huge and generally hairy.

Funny enough though they're also "oily." They come from the Lake Cat population which was pretty water-resistant because of constantly dealing with the lake, and they haven't lived in the Mountains long enough for natural selection to get rid of it.

It's going to become SUPER advantageous for those who move to the River Kingdom, but become less prominent in the other populations.

But for now, Mountain Cats are kinda... well, naturally 'stinky.' That's not a BAD thing to cats who are animals who LIKE strong smells, but it is a notable trait that I'd like The Wind Runner in particular to comment on.

Thunder Storm: "Well? What did she say?"

Bumble: "Ummmmmm......"

Thunder Storm: "be honest"

Bumble: "she says she smelled you coming when you were upwind. rudely."

99% of the time when I'm changing character eye colors, it's to make them NOT blue because there's too many blue-eyed characters in WC imo. BUT.

I think it was another tiny waste to have the narrative constantly stressing Clear Sky's blue, blue eyes, almost like they're hypnotizing, and then they never really comment on what Thunder's eye color signals to other people.

So I've got an idea; instead of amber, Thunder Storm has ELECTRIC BLUE eyes. Almost green, like his mother's minty ones.

Intense as his father's, but more focused. Sharp. Shocking.

Side note: in my research I actually learned it's easier for tripod cats to RUN than it is for them to walk. They can "canter" like a horse, but when they go slow they have to hop. Taking this into consideration.

I put a splash of white on the little bit of lower limb that Thunder Storm has on the leg, so it sticks out a bit more. I don't want it to be hidden I want it to be prominent

I also figured out a hilarious trick for Bright Storm to pull on Sky's Clan at some point lmao

Thunder's crew is in conflict with Sky's cats and the attacks are getting more and more frequent. They decide they need some extra time to carry out some kind of hunt or diplomatic mission, but Bright Storm only has a small group of cats to pull off a stunt with.

She knows she can't fight them head on, but she NEEDS to buy her son more time, so she hatches a plan.

Clear Sky values his intelligence and his ferocity very much. To a fault, even. He loves to outsmart his opponents and overpower them-- so Bright Storm gets all her cats to build a very large, very tall, nearly impenetrable wall out of briar thorns. There's only one way in; the well-guarded tunnel they've constructed in the front.

It would be a challenge for a lesser cat. But Clear Sky, clever devil he is, realizes they've made a fatal flaw; they've built their camp right next to the trees. His fighters don't need to jump over the wall or push through it, the oaks are their allies!

So, while Thunder's cats are all surely sleeping, he gathers his best men and come through the canopy. In well-trained patrols, they swoop down into the camp and prepare for battle.

and no one is there.

You see, there was only one way in... and only one way out.

And Clear Sky and his best fighters watch with HORROR as the tiny crew of guards seals that entrance up like the neck of a bag. There are no trees to climb INSIDE the wall, and it's too tall to hop out of. It won't hold them forever, but it will hold them JUST LONG ENOUGH.

Bright calls this little plan "Operation Timeout."

#I can't help it. Ever since I mentioned how cool a warlord gray wing would be now I can't stop thinking about Bright Storm doing-- #Art of War Looney Tunes tactics lmao #LET THE BATTLE CATS BATTLE #BB!DOTC #BB!Bright Storm #BB!Thunder Storm #BB!Thunderstar #Better Bones AU #It feels very fitting for Bright to have a lot of very ''annoying'' but nonlethal plans like that #Though she CAN and WILL hurt others to defend her family #She doesn't LIKE doing that. #One thing I do want her to keep from Gray is his aversion to violence #But unlike him she's able to come to terms with the fact she HAS to defend what she loves. #And though a lot of it does come from the love she had for Clear... it also comes from her compassion and kindness towards others. #She's been lead astray and blinded by her love of him in the past (especially in how she abetted what happened to Bumble) #But unlike Canon!Gray she's ashamed of what she did after she sits with the consequences #She doesn't want to hurt anyone. But she did. She let it happen. Contributed even #And that's rough. #YOUR HONOR. I LIKE HER.

[apristineblade]

adrienne rich // caitlin conlon // shastra deo // madds buckley // hozier // tory adkisson // ethel cain // yves olade // franz kafka // hannah copley // black tabby games

the razor and the empty cup.

#slay the princess #the razor #the empty cup #stp the princess #razor my darling first vessel <3 #i was wondering if i should lean more into the silly or the serious for this one #and i adore the silly of razor. she definitely isn’t going to stab you #but the love as violence has to go *somewhere* now and beast feels more love as consumption #so voila. i think i still put too much silly into it though #or maybe this was too broad? but you can’t separate razor from chapter 3 or 4 #and it needs to feel cohesive so… yeah idk #i was also debating if i should do mad instead of empty cup but her ‘no! i’m the one who hurts you!’ dialogue is very fun #and the heart at the end! i wanted the shifting mound hand grabbing it too but then you wouldn’t get the description #web weave

[satans-knitwear]

Behold! An enormous snugglebeast.

It has cookie flavoured lipbalm on its head now.

#Today I gave Big Baby Rosie and my Tiny Baby Belle a ham bone each and they have been having the time of their lives #I think baby belle dribbled all over herself tho so she is gonna need a bath after that. #It allowed my sister to pack up her car and leave though. So it worked as a good distraction. The house seems so quiet now #The holiday season is very much over now. I have so much cleaning to do holy shit #I am very in pain but I do feel incredibly loved. My fluffy babies look after me so well #dogs are better than people #fluffy baby

[betweenblackberrybranches]

Hi hello i am back from visiting my grandma but that took everything out of me and i am not doing too well so i might still be gone a bit

Ill try to post a few pics of some simple drawings i did there

Luv u guys

#look guys 6 days with my mom reminded me of why i really needed to move out #i love her but she makes me feel bad too much #anyways i think i need a recouperation period after this vacation #my gran was sweet as ever though #my mom is just a very negative person #okay ranting over

[iintervallum]

and i kiss her again

edit: the finished version is here!

#cr spoilers #wip #laudna x imogen #imodna #southern gothic #my art #critical role #i'm super behind on c3 but i still think that making this is important #spoiler culture isn't real because i'm defo going to still be hyped when i finally encounter this episode #edit: i'm interested more in the ship now that they're together since it raises some interesting possibilites #since what was holding each other back i feel in the past was this unspoken SOMETHING like imogen was not saying what she truly felt #and now that its finally brought out into the open maybe other things can be brought out too! like maybe for once they can actually disagre #or not be so attached to each other since they now know for sure that the other loves them in the way they love them #essentially the security of a defined realtionship helps them more in the long run if you get me #as much as i love undefined and messy relationships #they can be very very tricky #like qpr work so well because the parties involved define it as such #it cannot work with ambiguity #i'm still holding onto the idea of them being qpp as well as laudna being some form of aspec #though i do acknowledge that thinking your unlovable is different from the inability to feel romantic/sexual attraction #those two can still...exist together #case in point me #i thought for a long time that no one would like me and still struggle with that #but i myself in addition to that find romantic feelings comes after an emotional connection(demiromantic) #so yeah i still view laudna as someone on the aspec spectrum for that reason #but i'm open to people reasoning it as other things too! #like sure i view them as bi4bi but lesbian headcanons are valid as well #just don't be a dick about it and say that its “impossible for them to be into men or masc-presenting people” #we can just have differing opinons maybe #phew i really did a long vent in the tags so sorry about that LMAO

[mirconreadzztuff22]

“There are no good moms in HH/HB!!”

#shitpost #mircon rambles #like I feel like y’all just forget that Carmilla literally KILLED AN ANGEL FOR HER KIDS?? #she’s hella protective over her children and loves them very much #another reason why I love her sm #though that could just be because I have mommy issues idk #i love carmilla sm #carmilla hazbin hotel #carmilla carmine #carmilla #sir pentious #sir pentious meme

[cuubism]

hello friends. despite my 9 million existing dreamling wips i'm feeling the need to branch out a bit for the sake of my mental variety. what pairing other than dreamling should i write a little something for? could be romantic or platonic

other way of phrasing i guess: any pairings you really want to see more fics for in the fandom?

#i actually do have one someone asked me for ages ago i've been meaning to get to so i'll try to do that too #bonus points if it still involves dream bc you know i love dream XD #probably wont do any romantic pairings /between/ the endless because well yeah #but open to exploring pretty much anything else... feel free to send whatever if you want. dont worry about if i'll like it #if i can't vibe with it or find it uncomfy i just won't write it no harm no foul #not me soliciting little prompts fully knowing that motivation is a fickle beast and who knows if i would get to writing them XD i want #to though! or like. idk. if anyone wants to share headcanons about their favorite pairings i am happy to receive them #the sandman #a couple that are bouncing around my head already: #rose meeting desire. this could be really interesting i think (they are of course her grandparent) #calliope and lucienne post-calliope's imprisonment: i think their dynamic could be interesting since they both have/had close relationships #with dream. but of course calliope's relationship with him fell apart. i think lucienne with whatever context of it she had would probably #be sympathetic to calliope's perspective but still staunchly On Dream's Side so the speak bc she is ultimately very loyal to him... could b #an interesting convo. #additionally - calliope and johanna. both suffered things recently. both had curious interactions with dream where they recently saw both #his vicious side AND a kinder more understanding side of him... [dream gave rachel a peaceful death at johanna's request etc] #but they've come out of their suffering really differently (granted it was different types of suffering. but) #wow here i am asking for people's ideas and then just coming up with my own XD #anyway #wait two others: i'm fascinated by the potential dynamic of lucienne and the corinthian they only had like one short scene together in the #show but can you imagine. spending eons being loyal to dream and then going opposite directions with that loyalty. being among dream's inne #circle so to speak except lucienne is her own entity while corinthian was /created/ by dream. they have the most fascinating venn diagram o #personality traits and narrative positions... #secondly. and this is kind of crack. but like. imagine johanna and corinthian in the same room XD 'hi i'm an exorcist and this is my pet #serial killer' 'yeah my lord gave me a vacation to go kill some demons' why doesn't he try to kill johanna? bc she tried to destroy him #first time they met and he can't help but respect it XD

[fluffs-n-stuffs]

Finally catching up on the Horizons episodes I missed 👍

#fluff binges !!! #I've missed out this one and the one from last week that I'll watch once I settle my work for tonight--mainly due from a whirlwind on my en #even if it were just for two weeks I missed these sillies sm 🥺🥺🥺 #Diana was finna gonna murder that man you gotta respect that #I think I saw online that not that many people liked this episode because of the main concern that Friede usually saves the day #I do get that though I actually really enjoyed this episode because I think it's one of Roy's best battles (aside from the top one which wa #--the confrontation with the explorers in Diana's hideout) #he got a couple hits in and even thought to send in Wattrel when he realized that he'd get an advantage up in the air which was so so good #the kiddos mainly fumbled this time 'round because they forgot about the foongus/didn't have another mon to counter it #(maybe Hatena could've countered but Liko still needs to learn How to use her in battles--she does want to help though !!! with how she #--moved that shovel on her own - which I thought was a nice lil indicator of a possible battle highlighting her in the future) #I loooved that moment at the end with Diana showing the dude his true self through Bronzor's reflection that was actually very sweet #so yeah it's a simple ep but an enjoyable one - I think people gotta chill with constantly wanting peak sdkjfskndjfs #loads of Horizons content are focused on character moments and a slice of life feeling to everything which is something I love personally #this is a nice breather after the insanity of the last arc methinks hehe #anipoke #pokeani #pokemon horizons #diana pokemon #arcanine

[transmascutena]

thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder

#akio and utena #m #long ramble in the tags sorry: #the thing about akio is that he's so evil bit he's also so human #he has feelings. i just don't know what they are (if anything) toward his victims #he loves anthy at the very least i'm sure of that. even if he hates her too. just like she loves and hates him. the lines are blurry. #and i just. i have to wonder whether any of that extends to utena at all. we know anthy at times feels similarly about utena and dios #(and akio by extension.) the simultanious love and resentment. so it's not too unlikely i think. #like. even though he never had anything but bad intentions in getting close to her #i'm not sure it's possible to do everything he did and feel nothing #not that he has any meaningful amount of guilt or remorse for it. i don't think that. #and i obviously don't think he “loved” her in any of the ways she might have thought he did #but did he not care at all? did he not feel any kind of fondness or sympathy or just. idk. pity? for her? #whatever the case it wasn't enough to reconsider having her killed so you know. how much does that actually matter anyway #idk. i think about it a lot. how abusers are rarely entirely indifferent toward their victims #the role he's playing in her life is so fucked up but it IS a role he's playing and i wonder how much he you know... internalizes it? #how much does he believe the illusion of family that he invites her into? because akio DOES often buy into his own illusions. #(similarly i think it's possible that akio is fond of touga too. their mentor-protégé relationship is horrible and abusive #but that doesn't make it less real. you know? maybe real is the wrong word.) #when he talks in episode 25 about wanting utena and anthy closer that's obviously so he can continue to groom her #but is there something genuine there too? i don't know. #again. it obviously does not make anything he does better or even different. but it is interesting to think about to me. #on the other side of that coin does seeing his own past youth and naivete and desire to do good that he (maybe) once had #reflected back at him through her mean anything? #is there resentment there? that she is what he couldn't be? or more likely he just thinks that idealism is stupid. #either way it's something he wants to take from her. anyway ramble over. #i talk a lot about utena's feelings toward akio (familial vs romantic love and the way the two are intertwined in fucked up ways) #but not much the other way around. probably because utena is actually a sympathetic character whose feelings the show very clearly #wants you to analyze and think about. #which is... less true for akio i think. though he's still a complex character with complex motives. he's just harder to get a grasp on.

[strangerwheelerthings]

I don't know if it's because it's been too long since I last watched Stranger Things, but I genuinely don't remember a happy Nancy scene post Barb...

This is such an interesting thing to think about because it's not as if Nancy looks miserable in most scenes of the show. In fact, she often looks determined and occasionally excited even. She has smiled before, but excitement about progress in a case, something she's passionate about because of Barb, isn't necessarily happiness. So this is something you have to look beyond face value for.

Nancy suffers quite plainly with survivors guilt and with a lot of trauma. She isn't healed from what happened in Season One, and I don't think she even let herself really start until after season three. Not with so much unresolved. She also hasn't had the help she really needs either. However, Nancy has experienced happiness since Barb's death. There are moments she forgets. It’s only healthy that she's not so obessively mired in her misery that she can't have moments to breathe.

It's been a while since I've watched the show, too, so I can't say if there's a Jancy scene where she's just happy. Their get-together scene was very in the middle of Barb trauma, the wake up together scene is very stressed and rushed. Jonathan has been good to her, but all their scenes are a very mixed bag of emotions with happiness not really being the predominant one.

There are three small scenes from season four that come to mind. The first is Lucas's game. Nancy is quite genuinely proud and happy for Lucas in that moment of success. It's such a small shot, but it's one of a few scenes that show us that Nancy cares a whole lot more about Mike’s friends than she ever says.

The second is the scene with the dog, right before the plot plummets Nancy right back into her guilt complex. She's starting to live, and she lets herself be, for just a second, when she steps away from a murder investigation to just play with a dog. This is the first real evidence that her passion for her work is not just about Barb anymore.

The last scene is the officially friends scene with Robin. It's simply a moment of establishing connection, and both girls are just so warm in that moment. It's another sign of Nancy starting to actually heal. She's happy to have a new girl friend, not scared or guilty like she would have been before.

#yeah I gotta be honest I dont know if she had any really happy scenes in season 3 #i know season 2 is sorely lacking #as much as I love exploring Nancy’s trauma she is so much more complex than that #she does see the good in her life even if it's sometimes hard for her to accept #you're right though in that the show doesn't really let her be happy the way i wish she could be #thinking of some scenes took a second as i tried to determine when she even could have been during the seasons #the source of Nancy’s worst pain is also the source of her moments of joy #care for other people #Nancy sees the good in the world and she wants to protect it but she doesn't always feel worthy of taking it for herself #she experiences genuine happiness when other people are happy #and she has moments of pride and determination in season three #but season four really feels like the start of her taking some of that for herself #in the form of keeping robin close by #of stopping to talk to a dog #Robin is especially significant because she keeps her grounded in a moment where she very easily could have been pulled under with - #- reimerging trauma because of Fred and Vecna #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #jancy #ronance #stranger things