#she does in fact have a real phd

[valentronic]

rare oc post?? :0

intro-ing Doctor Corkscrew, a very saturday morning cartoon kind of mad scientist villain, she’s got big plans and nefarious schemes (to take over the world by turning everyone into adorable critters)

#robo art #oc: corkscrew #story: frontiers #original character #mad science #chimera #kidcore #yeah i guess those tags work #she does in fact have a real phd

[la-pheacienne]

It has been said before so many times but I'll say it again. Rhaegar was one of the most, if not THE most important role model in Dany's life, even, especially, beyond his death. She never met Rhaegar, yes, but it is his legacy that is guiding her both consciously and subconsciously throughout her entire journey, from the very beginning, standing alongside her father's shady legacy that she prefers to ignore than to confront because of fear of what it may entail for her and her cause. GRRM put THREE Targs ahead of Dany, each of them with a VERY heavy baggage. Aerys and Viserys were despicable people and she could have easily, EASILY delved into that sense of blind entitement and authoritarianism that they most certainly inspired. But alongside them, she chooses to hold onto Rhaegar's memory or legacy or imaginary or whatever the hell you want to call it, and she chooses to lead with that. She literally identifies herself with him, it's her face she sees inside his helmet. She desperately holds onto him, the only family member whose legacy is even remotely positive, based on the opinions of multiple different sources. What Dany wants the most is her family back, her home back. She is an orphan, she is alone, she has nothing left but her name and the dream of who that brother was and what she could be in his place, where she could succeed where he failed, in the same way Jon could succeed where Ned failed (the parallels are so strong). To have this taken away from her as well, to have Rhaegar's legacy smeared in the way the fandom does, is not only a direct attack to Dany but also extremely boring and repetitive, in all its fake "deconstructive"/"subversive" glory. Oh so you mean that her entire family were just monsters, one was an abusive loser, the other a psychopath and the third one, the only one that is presented as good, turns out to have been a machiavellian pedophile forcefully impregnating women for scientific experiments. So, Robert's initial thesis as presented in the very first book is not only confirmed but completed with new even more hideous information. And you call that subversive.

Just, no. What happened to nuance, I wonder? What happened to "oh this character had strong virtues but also some fatal flaws that led to his downfall, among other external factors"? You call the "Rhaegar forcefully impregnating unwilling women in order to use them and their babies as pawns to an imaginary war" a nuanced and subversive take in the context of asoiaf of all possible media? Really? Be for real.

Not even delving into the fact that Rhaegar being the only character of his generation actively interested in the prophecy and not in purely personal political gain is actually one of his main redeeming character traits, if not the most redeeming one and literally sets the thematical tone for the entire book series because that's PhD level for most people here.

#daenerys targaryen #rhaegar targaryen #valyrianscrolls #aspa rambles #asoiaf

[fryandleelasbigfling]

fuuuuck man, i can't stop thinking about amy's character development.

like amy's always been smart, albeit ditzy, but she operates largely on rebelling against what her parents want from her. she does not want to be a living uterus to make heirs and money for her shitty folks. she parties and sleeps around and generally still acts like a sorority girl because she values freedom.

and it's funny bc her parents introduce her to kif, but kif is a new way to keep amy grounded. kif isn't a one night stand, he tries to call her back and wants to get to know her. he wants to impress her family, and neither of them care that it doesn't work because he was brave enough to try. in fact, they can probably both bond over feeling like they're unfairly tethered to people who don't see them as individuals. he loves her and wants to commit to her, and she's flattered and realizes she loves him right back beyond just dating.

and amy is... not good with emotional literacy. she says things to insult people on accident a lot, and she doesn't usually seem willing to get very personal with the crew. and when kif dies in BWABB, her mom literally tells her to get over it mere days later, and then she copes by sleeping with zapp seemingly just to bring kif back in some way. so i think this is something else she internalized from her upbringing.

so i think when kif gets pregnant, obviously she's not ready to adjust to a life of responsibility, especially given how being a mother has been held over her head as basically a command for most of her life. but she wants to be with kif, and she's willing to adapt for him. and then she gets 20 years to prepare, and given this episode, i believe she spent those 20 years talking this over with kif, working out their relationship, learning to get her mind in order and eventually be a responsible parent. they had some real hurdles (and bad writing) but i think eventually, she felt ready to commit, especially after she earned her phd. she's financially secure enough to do pretty much whatever she wants after all, and having a family with kif is what she wants next in life.

i think this all made the "biological mother" thing so much harder for her. because leela has her own traumas, but it seems like she's naturally maternal, whereas i feel like amy had to really work for it. and she's worried that simply being exhausted is enough to make her a bad mom, and takes that out on leela, even though leela is also exhausted and far from perfect. i feel like in amy's eyes, leela has always been very capable and mature, even if they don't always get along, and i can see her worrying that the kids would innately bond with leela and amy wouldn't be enough. and given she outright acknowledges how terrible her parents are in this episode, and they reject the babies for being visibly mutant-alien, i can see her worrying she's repeating the cycle, and even though she's loving them as much as she can, she's only ever known parents who were harsh and critical, and being so openly loving is something she had to learn. (leela had to learn this too, but amy is too self-critical to realize that.)

so when amy says she loves those kids "more than [she] realized [she] could ever love anything"... i really believe that. i don't think amy knew how capable she was of expressing true love. i don't think she realized that she could commit to someone and not just fulfill her parents' degrading wishes for her. this isn't about her parents, this is about her and kif and the future they made with their love.

and by god, she's gonna be a good mother, and it'll be hard, but in the end, she's doing it because it feels good.

#futurama #futurama spoilers #children of a lesser bog #amy wong #hulurama #kifamy #amy #analysis #it just caught me so off guard how ready she was to be a parent #and it rlly makes her so much more interesting!

[jisungsdaydreamer]

Love Playlist #1: HOME (Han)

«GENERAL M.LIST» · «NAVIGATION» · «TALK TO ME» 

"For a really smart person, Jisung can be so dumb sometimes."

Pairing: Han x Fem!reader Genre: college au, friends to lovers, roommates to lovers, fluff, mutual pining Warnings: mild swearing Word Count: 7k

P.S. ♡ If you like my work, please consider giving me feedback in the form of reblogs, comments, and asks! ♡

You have three strict rules that you must follow. One, no going out after eleven. Two, never leave the house without your cell phone. And three, never, ever, fall in love with Han Jisung.

Unfortunately, you’ve broken that third rule already. In fact, you’re still breaking it, charring it to a crisp, and throwing it out like the trash you both begrudgingly take turns with. But how can you not? Because when it comes to your doe-eyed best friend who is serenely sitting in front of you, the whole rulebook is torn up. 

Jisung quietly flips through his growing stack of manga, blissfully unaware of the way your heart accelerates whenever he reads a particularly entertaining segment and his eyes light up in amusement.You should remind him to stay on track, but you can’t bear to stop him because of how cute he looks, his legs unconsciously swinging under the table and his fifth banana lollipop of the day shoved into his mouth. 

You’re both sitting together in the library at your special table beside the big window, the place that is always secluded no matter what, as if some higher power knows to keep it aside for you and Jisung for whenever you desire. Both of you are supposed to be studying for your finals, the objectively worst part of the entire year. You’re both seniors, so the slew of exams coming up should be a piece of cake for you, except both of you have grad school next year— you’ll be starting on your PhD, while Jisung, a computer engineering major, will be working towards a master’s degree— so you still have to worry about all of your final grades.

“I hate this.” Jisung looks up from the book in his hands, closing it shut. “I wish I didn’t have to do this.”

“It’s almost over. Then we’ll finally graduate and get to enjoy our summer,” you reply. “And then our lives begin.”

And the elation building in your chest is real, because although you have a tough couple of days ahead of you, the end of this year will be a testament to everything you have accomplished. You have your summer mapped out already; you’re going to be completing groundbreaking cancer research at an esteemed biologist’s lab, days filled with productivity along with exciting nights exploring adulthood and freedom with your friends. Even though you’ll still have school, you’ll only have to be doing what you’re passionate about, leaving behind the mandatory literature and calculus courses that brought you so many tears over the duration of college. 

“Not for me.” Jisung sighs, leaning back in his chair and staring aimlessly at the ceiling. “It’ll never end.”

Lately, Jisung has become increasingly stressed about graduation. He doesn’t come from a wealthy background, with his mother being a grocery store cashier and his father out of the picture. You’re aware he’s under immense pressure to do well in school and then get a good job that will take care of both him and his mother, when she’s unable to provide for herself. Worst of all, Jisung had to ditch his dream of becoming a musician and instead focus on something more practical, which ended up being a profession in computers. Of course, like anything else he puts his effort into, Jisung excels in computer engineering, and he’s come to terms with giving up his passion, but you know it doesn’t hurt any less.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You ask softly, reaching for his hand. He accepts it, but he turns his head to gaze at the street beyond the window.

“It’s okay.”

You don’t press any further, because you know that it will just break him down, and neither of you can afford that right now at such a crucial time. Instead, you resolve to brighten his mood, like he does with you anytime you’re down. “Let’s just hope we don’t get food poisoning tomorrow.”

Your attempt works, because Jisung meets your eyes, a smile permeating his solemn expression and before widening into a full grin, at the memory of the time you both first met. Remembrance comes like the summer breeze you look so forward to, washing over you both like a tidal wave. And just like that, it’s freshman year and you’re standing at the bus stop near your old dormitory building. 

You anxiously devoured the notebook pages in your hands, alternating between cramming the tiny text and scanning the road for the bus that was supposed to be here ten minutes ago. Your stomach ached from the food poisoning you contracted earlier that morning, an unwelcome byproduct of the dubious cauliflower and tuna tacos served at the dining hall the night before.

This was horrible timing too, especially because you had your first test of the academic year that day. When you should have been bent over your statistics notes, you were cooped up in the bathroom for the previous few hours, clutching the toilet bowl as you watched the clock above you tick menacingly. 

You bounced on your toes anxiously, before a strange, squeaking sound met your ears. You whirled around to see a boy approaching you while struggling to pull a large, bulging suitcase along with him. He finally succeeded, collapsing onto the bus stop bench while coughing and wheezing up a storm that rivaled the ominous clouds in the sky. You reached into the side pocket of your backpack, pulling out your unopened plastic water bottle and handing it over to him.

He looked at your offering hand in surprise, before gratefully accepting. He tipped his head back and closed his eyes while he gulped down the cool water. You watched him finish the entire bottle with a dizzying speed and then recycle it in the bin next to the bus stop. The boy was lanky, sporting an oversized Pokémon t-shirt and battered sneakers, and overdue for a haircut, the locks flopping over his sweaty forehead.

“Thank you so much.” He said.

“Of course. What’s in the suitcase?” 

The boy fondly ran a hand over the worn-out seams of the object of your curiosity. “I promised my roommate that I would give him all of my old books for his class project. I have no idea why he wants them, but then again, art students are weird.”

He looked up at you not even a second later, alarm in his eyes. “Unless you’re an art student! In that case, I didn’t mean what I said.”

You giggled, shaking your head. “No, I’m a biology major. And yes, I agree.”

He beamed. “I’m Han Jisung. First year, computer engineering. Anime and cheesecake lover. Spicy food hater.”

“Y/N. I’m a freshman, too, and I also love anime and cheesecake. Chocolate cheesecake, to be specific. And I can’t stand spicy food.”

“Chocolate supremacy!” Jisung gasped, clamping a palm over his mouth. “This is meant to be.”

You let out a hearty laugh at his theatrics. “Exactly.”

At that moment, the bus finally arrived, rolling to a stop next to you both. You helped Jisung push his suitcase full of storybooks up the steps of the bus and into the aisle. You sat on one of the seats in the back, and Jisung followed suit, plopping down right next to you. As he did, you noticed him wince, clutching his stomach. Concern bloomed in you for this precious stranger that you just met. 

“Are you okay?”

He clutches his stomach once more, smiling embarrassedly. “I got food poisoning. I should have known better than to trust the dining hall food.”

You pause, as the ironic delight of the situation sets in, allowing the pain to fade away and leaving you to wonder about the odds of meeting Jisung. “No way! Me too!”

Jisung’s eyes widen in surprise. “That’s destiny. Mutual food poisoning. Now we definitely have to be friends.”

Later, after you had exchanged numbers and plenty of laughs, parting ways at your respective bus stops, you would meet again at the university hospital. Both of you had contracted a salmonella infection.

Unbeknownst to you and Jisung, that delayed bus and salmonella would determine the trajectory of the rest of your lives. Over time, you both emerged from the shackles of a hesitant acquaintance to the kind of bond that never breaks, even with time, distance, or the grievances of being young. You witnessed each other grow up, fall in love and out of love, and get drunk on piña coladas at the bar next to the college gym you both pretended to go to regularly. 

Somewhere along the way, after Loser Boyfriend Number Three, as Jisung tried to cheer you up with his horrible jokes and the burned brownies that he nuked in the residence hall kitchen microwave, you realized that you were wasting your time on people who weren’t worth it. Because the only person who was worth it was the one who had been by your side all the time. Jisung. 

Betrayed by your treacherous heart, you began to see Jisung— your person, your study buddy, your fake fiancé when you both were trying to score free dessert with a restaurant proposal— as more than just a friend. In fear of your feelings potentially ruining your friendship, something more dear to you than any form of romance, as you so believed they would, you swore to never speak to Jisung of it. But you couldn’t lie to yourself anymore about the worst. You fell in love with your best friend. 

“What did the farmer say after he lost his tractor?”

“I have no idea, Jisung.”

“‘Hey, where’s my tractor?’ Get it?” Jisung bursts out laughing, slapping his thigh. He doubles over, his whole body shaking with laughter at the unimpressed look on your face, which makes everything funnier for him.

“That doesn’t even make sense!” You exclaim, trying to push him. Jisung just keeps giggling, dodging you masterfully.

You both have given up on your library study session, resolving to take a break at your favorite coffee shop and meet up with the rest of your friends in your circle. The setting sun has streaked the blue sky with its golden rays and puffy pink clouds, enveloping the entire campus in a hazy glow. It’s a pleasant May evening, with the scent of your college’s famed peonies along with the excitement of Spring lingering in the air. The street lights that line the sidewalk are already turned on, but not many people are outside enjoying the weather, except for a few students playing a game of Frisbee on the athletic field. Everyone else is locked away in their rooms or the library, grinding for their upcoming exams.

“Well, I have a better one anyway.” Jisung states, clearing his throat dramatically. 

You roll your eyes as you near your destination, an unassuming red-brick building tucked away in a larger complex of stores. Purple morningstar blossoms border the door of the small shop in clumps of dainty vines, no doubt the namesake of Morningstar Coffee House. Fairy lights are strung around the glass block windows, which offer a glimpse of the inviting warmth inside. 

“Let’s hear it.”

Jisung jogs ahead of you and opens the door for you, gallantly gesturing for you to go first. “What did Y/N say to Jisung when they went to the coffee shop together?”

The comforting smell of pastries and dark roast coffee engulfs you as you step into Morningstar. The strung lanterns and groovy jazz music playing in the background welcome you like a hug from a long-distance friend. You can’t believe it’s been so long since you’ve gone anywhere other than the library, the lecture halls, or the tiny apartment you and Jisung share. 

“I don’t know.” You humor Jisung, still playing along and waiting for his ridiculous punchline.

He smirks at you. “I love you a latte!”

You feign disgust, but secretly, you are elated because of how genuinely touching his words are to you. Jisung hugs you like a baby panda, trying to get you to applaud him for his clever joke, as Jisung is naturally a very physically affectionate person, always wanting to snuggle up to the people around him. But your heart can’t help but jump a little every time you feel his arms snug around you. 

“Well, I love you a latte more, Hannie,” you respond nonchalantly, but you mean it. You do love Jisung for everything that he is, even the cringeworthy SoundCloud rapper phase that dominated his sophomore year. 

“You guys are weird,” your friend Seungmin says from behind the counter, where he’s busy working as the barista, while his co-worker, Soobin, a timid Psychology student, clumsily handles orders at the cash register. Seungmin’s parents own Morningstar, and he plans to take over it next year. 

Jisung sticks his tongue out at Seungmin in defiance, before linking arms with you and dragging you to the back, where the rest of your friends are seated. There is Chan, or more famously known as Chris among his many admirers across his campus, clad in his signature black jacket. Besides him, the turquoise-haired baby of your group, Jeongin, and then Hyunjin, who as usual, is lost in his sketchbook. 

“Hey guys. What are you up to?” You slide in next to Hyunjin, trying to peek at what he’s drawing. You catch a glimpse of a very pretty girl you vaguely recognize from around campus, before he protectively snaps his journal closed, narrowing his eyes at you.

“Eyes on your coffee, Y/N,” Hyunjin says, handing you the mug that they ordered for you ahead of time. Magically, it’s still hot.

You accept the coffee and drink it, letting the rich liquid warm your insides as you swallow it gratefully. “Alright, alright.”

Jisung tries to steal a bite of Jeongin’s apple danish, earning him a swat on his wandering palms. Chan looks over at you with a grin. “We’re just listening to Jeongin rant about his crush.”

Jeongin groans before continuing. “And I keep asking her out, but every time, she rejects me, bro! What am I supposed to do? Give up?"

“Yes,” Hyunjin says in his signature straightforward manner, prompting everyone but Jeongin to snicker.

“Whatever. I'll figure out a way.” Jeongin sits back in his seat, resorting to aggressively typing on his keyboard to deal with his frustration.

You look around your little corner in the shop, which is filled with textbooks and miscellaneous notebook sheets. “Where are the others?”

“Minho is studying with his girlfriend, and Changbin and Felix are apparently also working, but they’re probably gaming instead.”

Hyunjin bites down on the edge of his straw, glancing between you and Jisung thoughtfully. “Speaking of girlfriend, when are you both going to get together?”

You freeze up in your seat, tensing like you always do whenever someone jokes about your relationship with Jisung, but he’s unfazed, shooting Hyunjin a mischievous smile. “When you tell us about that girl you’re obsessed with.”

Hyunjin immediately forgets about teasing you, glaring at Jisung contempfully. “Shut up, Han. You don’t know anything.”

“Guys, let’s calm down,” you say while patting Hyunjin’s back, happy for the distraction but still cautious about him and Jisung. While those two love each other very much now, they used to fight like crazy when they roomed together in freshman year, and no one needs a repeat of bad history right now.

Jisung catches your eye, and although he doesn’t smile at you, you can see the appreciation in his eyes. You nod slightly at him, before getting out your own computer. Words do not have to be exchanged between you two for you to understand each other.

You all settle into a comfortable silence as you finish your coffee and resume studying, only looking up occasionally to ask each other questions about the material or an assignment. Soon, the evening begins to fade away, and you start packing up your belongings before closing time.

“Hey, Y/N! Can you come over here for a second?” Seungmin calls out, capturing your attention.

You put down your backpack and walk over to the counter, where he’s washing his blender. “Yes?”

“So what’s going on with you and Jisung?” Before you can interrupt him and deny anything, Seungmin wipes his hands and gives you a meaningful look. “I know you have feelings for him.”

You feel your face heat up, and you avoid his piercing eyes. “How would you know?”

“Look, it doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. From the way you look at him, it’s a marvel how he hasn’t figured it out yet. For a really smart person, Jisung can be so dumb sometimes.”

You exhale, seeing no point in lying anymore. Besides, it feels good to get it off of your chest. “Well, why are you bringing this up anyway?”

Seungmin sets down his utensil caddy and rests his elbows on the edge of the sink. “Soobin likes you and asked me if you’re single. But, you know, I wasn’t sure if you are available. Emotionally, I mean.”

You glance over at Soobin, observing him counting all of the day’s revenue. The blonde cashier catches your eye, flashing you a shy smile before quickly looking away, turning a shade of tomato red. He’s handsome, good-hearted, and not to mention, very tall. Just your type. But he’s no Jisung.

“It’s been a while since I’ve dated anyone.” And this is true— over a year, to be precise. “I guess, I’m still hung up over Jisung.”

“Do you plan on making a move?”

“No way. I’m just going to wait for the feelings to dissipate. I would never risk our friendship like that,” you mumble.

“You could get to know Soobin, maybe he’ll help you move on,” Seungmin suggests, crossing his arms.

You consider your options before piping up. Jisung had gotten pretty serious with his last girlfriend by the end of your junior year, but he broke up with her a month later, telling you that she just wasn’t the one for him. He hasn’t dated anyone since, claiming that it’s not the right time. But for you, it is, and you realize that you can’t keep waiting for him.

“Maybe I will,” you say, toying with your jacket zipper.

Seungmin tips his head towards Soobin, but before you move, he leans in closer to you. “But personally, I think you should just tell Jisung. If he’s really your best friend, your friendship will stay the same no matter what.”

You nod. “Yeah, okay.”

You know Seungmin is right, but the truth is, it’s not just about losing your friendship with Jisung. Regardless of whether he reciprocates your feelings or not, you know that he would never walk away from you. It’s truly you who you are concerned about. You’re uncertain if you could bear to go back being your normal self around Jisung if you confess and get rejected. You don’t know if your heart could handle it.

You touch Seungmin’s hand in a quiet gratitude and approach Soobin, who immediately notices your presence and accidentally slams the cash register drawer closed, nearly shutting it on his finger. “H-hi Y/N.”

Watching Soobin get endearingly flustered, you can’t help but smile. “Hey Soobin. How are you?”

“I’m good, thank you.” Soobin bites down on his lip, wrapping his arms around himself. He looks so cute in his brown bib apron and converse shoes. “You look really pretty in that dress.”

Your cheeks warm, but you look him directly in his eyes. “That’s so kind of you to say. Actually, I was hoping you'd want to go out on a date sometime? Maybe after finals?”

Although you’re very reserved about your feelings for Jisung, in every other case, you can be quite forward with romance. Soobin’s eyes widen. “Wait, really?”

You laugh, getting out your phone. “Yes, really. What do you say?”

“Yes! I would love to. Could I please get your number?” Soobin stretches out his phone, which is covered in teddy bear stickers. 

You think of Jisung’s phone, which has a clear case and a polaroid of you two at the beach inside. You shake the thought of him away. You type your number into Soobin’s phone, before wishing him good luck on his finals and then rejoining your friend group in the darkening outdoors, which has moved outside the shop while you were talking to Seungmin. As soon as he spies you walking out of the door, Hyunjin forgets his conversation with Jeongin and immediately launches into interrogating you. 

“What were you talking to Soobin about?”

You shrug, trying to play it off, but can’t help the rosy blush that creeps up your neck. “Nothing, really.”

Now the others look interested as well, and Jeongin smirks knowingly at you. “You asked him out, didn’t you?”

Out of the corner of your eye, you think you see Jisung’s smile falter, but you chalk it up to your own imagination and affirm Jeongin’s prediction. “Yes, but it’s pretty casual. So not a big deal.”

Chan and Jeongin both high-five you like seventh grade boys, while Hyunjin just cackles at your sudden agitation. Jisung, however, looks annoyed, a very new color on him. 

“I didn’t know you were interested in Soobin,” he says, shutting Hyunjin up. “Why didn’t you tell me? You always tell me when you like someone.”

You know the answer to his question. But you can’t tell Jisung that the only reason why you asked Soobin on a date out of the blue is because you are in love with him and trying to move on. “Seungmin just told me that he had a crush on me. So I went for it.”

“Yeah, everyone knows Soobin likes you. But you could have told me first before making a move.” Jisung’s tone is slightly harsh, suspicious. You recoil in surprise, because he has never spoken to you like this, unlike the boy you know and love.

“Why are you getting so mad?” You ask him, hurt.

“It’s just that we tell each other everything, and this is pretty big.” Jisung crosses his arms stubbornly. “Unless you didn’t want me to know.”

Your skin prickles with a strange feeling, because while you two have bickered over stupid things in the past, it wasn’t anything serious like the look on Jisung’s face now. “What’s your problem, Jisung? What did I do to you?”

Your voice is raised, and boys instantly sense the tension in the air, stepping in to mediate. Chan, the eldest in the group, places a hand on Jisung’s shoulder, mutely imploring him to stay calm. Hyunjin, however, gets defensive on your behalf. 

“Why should she have to tell you? Calm down,” Hyunjin says, frowning at Jisung.

“It’s okay, Hyunjin. We should get going.” Without waiting for an answer from the others, you grasp Jisung’s hand and pull him with you, while he comes along without saying anything at all.

The walk back to your apartment, which is seven minutes long from campus, is filled with an uneasy silence, a dreadful change from the playfulness earlier in the day. The air is charged, full of everything you both want to say to each other, but nevertheless, you keep your mouth closed. More than anything, you’re confused. 

It’s been a long time since either of you were with anyone romantically, so maybe it is surprising to Jisung that you randomly asked Soobin out. However, you don’t understand his anger, especially because Jisung has always supported you in your dating life, even setting you up sometimes with people he knew. But you don’t think the problem is the fact that it is Soobin either, because Soobin is one of the most beloved people on campus due to his sweet personality. You don’t know what’s wrong, and that’s what bothers you the most.

Neither of you speak even when you reach your neighborhood, a suburban oasis in a big city. When there’s good weather, you and Jisung love to come outside and either take long walks around the block or pack picnics to share on the perpetually green lawn in front of your apartment building. Today, you head straight up to your flat, an indifferent pair of strangers standing in the elevator.

After unlocking the door to your apartment, you finally decide to break the silence, turning to look at Jisung, who trails a few feet behind you. “I’ll be in my room, studying.”

You want him to say something, anything, but he just nods, keeping his eyes trained on the grey hardwood flooring. Sighing, you pad across the apartment and enter your room, shutting the door you always keep open. 

You and Jisung had signed a lease on your place last year, partially because you couldn’t afford off-campus housing on your own, but also because you couldn’t imagine a better roommate than him. People made plenty of comments about how you both— two people of the opposite gender— renting an apartment together would be a recipe for disaster.

While Jisung had assured you that everything would be alright, the weeks leading up to move-in day were filled with apprehension for you. But unlike what he believed, it wasn’t because of what others said. The thought of you and Jisung living together made you worry if proximity could potentially make it easier for him to realize your feelings for him. 

However, when the big day rolled in, you couldn’t remember any of your fears as you and Jisung sat in your new apartment, leaned against a pile of half-opened luggage. Exhausted from dealing with delayed furniture shipments and sorting through the endless boxes of belongings, both of you had given up. Resolving to lay on the barren floor and play Go-Fish, you both laughed for hours about the annoyed look on the grumpy mover’s face when Jisung kept asking him questions. Before Jisung subsequently fell asleep on your lap, he promised you that you both would make a lot of good memories here. And you did.

Last Christmas, you both spent it together, huddled on the couch while gossiping and drinking hot chocolate, because both of your flights got canceled due to snow. Then there was the time Jisung forced you to stay awake with him all night because he was scared after watching some bad slasher film, but you told him Disney bedtime stories that eventually made his fear go away.

You can’t help but feel a small pang thinking of whenever he brings you strawberry shortcake from the bakery you like, or all of the times he spam calls you when you’re out late and haven’t informed him. You’ve never fought with Jisung like this, not without him immediately coming after you and begging you to forgive him, even if he wasn’t in the wrong. Being distant with Jisung is a new feeling, and you don’t get how you could ever accomplish that with your best friend in the whole world. 

Shaking off your incessant thoughts about Jisung, you turn on your computer, hunching over on your desk in the artificial glow of the screen. You still have a few chapters of reading to get through, and then you have to solve ten long practice problem sets for Chemistry. For now, you’ll have to put off the deliberations that pull at you.

“Y/N.”

You feel someone shaking you awake, gentle hands coaxing you out of an uneasy nap. You lift your head from where it rests on your arms, blearily looking up from where you are slumped over your desk. Your laptop has fallen asleep, the dim glow of your lamp lighting up the room instead. And the blaring, unwelcome red of your digital clock signals an unfortunate time well past twelve. Rubbing your eyes, you finally notice Jisung hovering beside you hesitantly.

“I thought you’d want me to wake you up,” Jisung says, his hands shoved into the pockets of his pajama pants. “I’m sorry.”

He’s wearing a black sweatshirt with the hood pulled up snugly over his head, a few soft pieces of hair messily sticking out from underneath. He looks so cute you want to hug him, but then you remember the events that transpired before you accidentally fell asleep. 

“It’s okay. I need to finish working, thanks,” you say dully, both tired from studying and being stuck in this bad day with Jisung.

He shakes his head. “No, I mean, I’m sorry for earlier. At the coffee shop.”

You bite your lip, melting at the regret and sadness in his eyes. Your best friend misses you too. “Can we talk?”

Jisung stays quiet before speaking, and you swear he can probably hear your anticipating heartbeat filling the room. “Are you hungry? We didn’t have dinner.” 

He doesn’t answer your question, but you still fold at the thought of how he didn’t eat without you. “Yeah, I am hungry.”

“I’ll make us something.” He turns and heads into the kitchen, and after a second thought, you hurry after him. 

Jisung takes off his hood and brings out a metal pot out of one of the cupboards. You watch as he rummages hastily through the fridge, before he shuts it with empty hands. He turns to you with a sheepish look on his face. “So we don’t actually have any food.”

Realization passes between the both of you: in the past few weeks, you both were so immersed in your preparation for your exams that you had completely neglected buying groceries, opting instead for easy pre-cooked meals or food deliveries. Your stomach rumbles loudly, and you rub it, embarrassed, but at least it breaks the tension, as Jisung snorts, an amused look on his face.

“We could go to the store and get something,” he suggests, from where he stands behind the kitchen island. 

He fidgets nervously, a reminder of how any other time, you would have jumped at the opportunity to ditch your books and buy cheap junk food with Jisung. But now? You don’t want to go out. You want to stay here, you want to talk to your best friend, you want things to go back to how they were before your fight with Jisung. And yet, you nod your head in agreement, grabbing your apartment keys and wallet from the counter before following Jisung out of the apartment. 

The hallways of the building are tainted a vivid yellow from the incandescent lighting, a sharp contrast to the gloomy night outside. The moon is high up in the sky, shrouding the sleepy apartment complex in a silvery glow. There’s no one outside except for a homeless man dozing on one of the benches lining the walkways. But the distant city lights tell you that not everyone slumbers, that outside of your bubble, people have their own lives and stories. The only story that matters to you, however, is the one with the beautiful boy who walks beside you, his step heavy and eyes downcast. 

In a matter of wordless minutes, you and Jisung have arrived at your go-to place for midnight runs, a sketchy little convenience store peeking out from behind a cluster of drab office buildings. The neon lighting of the store glows in the dark and reflects in the pools of water left by a mild rain that had graced the land while you were sleeping. 

Jisung quickly walks ahead of you and opens the door for you, a blast of air conditioning granting you solace from the humidity. The familiar sight of the plentiful arrays of colorful aisles and the broken fan hopelessly creaking by the entrance pulls you in. You scour the shelves of mouthwatering foodstuffs, before settling in front of one of the sections.

“I don’t know if it’s a noodles or sandwich kind of night,” you wonder out loud, picking up a pack of ramen. You don’t notice Jisung standing behind you, as you assume he’s already zeroed in on the ice cream freezer like he always does.

“Definitely ramen.”

You jump, hugging the packet to your chest as if it would protect you from the perpetrator. Jisung innocently watches you, a small smile playing upon his lips. He holds two wrapped popsicles in his hands, one melon-flavored and one mango-flavored, and stretches the latter out to you. You accept it, returning his smile, and it feels like things are normal again. You know you should bring up what lies unspoken between you two, but you want to preserve this moment for now.

Jisung selects ramen for himself as well, and you both go to the front counter to check-out, failing to exchange any more words as you both just continue to enjoy the calm. After, you both quickly exit the shop and start jogging in synchronization, remembering that a pile of work still awaits you. When you board the bridge that connects the rest of the city to the way back to your apartment, Jisung doubles over, panting. 

You decide to take a break, walking over to the edge and drinking in the view. The blurred lights of the magnificent skyscrapers illuminate the midnight sky like lightning, and the river in front of you is littered with cargo ships peacefully gliding along on their separate journeys. You lean against the railing, closing your eyes and letting the wind ruffle your hair. Jisung comes up behind you once more, but when he speaks this time, it’s less of a surprise and more of a comfort. 

“Everything is changing,” he says, resting his hands on the railing as well. “I’m scared.”

You open your eyes, turning to face Jisung. His eyes are filled with tears, and your heart reaches out for him. You tightly grasp his hand, trying to convey everything you can’t say to him. 

“Talk to me. Please.”

“I’m not ready for all of this. Graduation’s getting closer, and I know you’re excited but… I don’t know, I still feel kind of stuck.” Jisung’s gaze fixates on one of the boats below. “Every time I type out a line of code, I want to smash my keyboard into bits. Every goddamn time.”

His words are strong, but his voice is rough with emotion. 

“Jisung, don’t do this if it’s not what you want.”

“We’re literally graduating in a month, Y/N.” Jisung lets out a disbelieving sound. “But that’s not even a concern, because my grad school actually offers a joint program on computers and audio design for engineering students who want to go into music production. But I couldn’t do that, because you barely get paid unless you make it big.”

You frown, setting down the plastic cover of your food. “Well, why not? If anyone could break out, it’s you.”

Jisung shrugs, shaking his head. “I can’t take that risk. Just plain old computer science is the way to go.”

You stay quiet for a second, keenly observing his despairing expression. “Your mom would want you to be happy, Hannie.”

“I could be happy, maybe, one day. But not right now.” Jisung runs a hand through his hair, not meeting your eyes. “You’re moving away next year for your PhD, and I’ll still be stuck here, in a place where you aren’t there.”

“I’m only two hours away. You can get away from campus and visit all the time. We’ll be like the Kardashians taking on a new city!” You crack a watery smile.

Jisung sniffles sadly, and your heart sinks, because you failed to make him happy. Again. But then he looks up at you, a glimmer of humor in his eyes. “Only if I get to be Kourtney.”

You laugh, shoving him in the arm. “Fine.”

And then you both say nothing again, just gazing out at the world beyond this bridge and instant.

“What happened today?” You break the silence— questioning, not accusing.

Jisung groans. “It’s… look, I know we’ve both dated before, but none of them were it. And maybe you never felt that way, but I know for a fact that none of the guys you dated were right for you.”

“Jisung—” you start, but he interrupts you.

“And we’re graduating soon. So I thought you’d realize it by now.” Jisung taps his foot like he always does when he’s nervous, and your pulse quickens at his halting words. 

“Realize what?” You ask him softly, trying not to come to any conclusions but betrayed by the treacherous beat of your heart.

The tips of Jisung’s ears turn red. “I- I need you to not say anything. Because I need to say something. And if you don’t like what I say, then I’ll walk away and we can forget everything that transpired here. Okay?”

You maintain your serious expression, although you want to swoon at his adorably flustered state. “Okay.”

Jisung is about to finally reveal what has gotten him so worked up, but then he sighs in frustration, shaking his head. “No. I can’t do this with you looking at me. Can you please turn around? Please?”

Hiding a smile, you oblige him and face the other way. “Okay. I can’t see you now.”

You hear Jisung take a deep breath. 

“I’m never going to get this right. Y/N, I like you. And I mean like-like you. Like, romantically. Everything about you, I like. Even your disgusting food combinations, I like. Your smile? Oh god. Don’t go on a date with Soobin. Go with me. I like you.” 

Even though the past few minutes manifested Jisung’s declaration, you still whirl around, shocked. “Say what?”

Jisung rolls his eyes. “Seriously? I pour myself out to you and you need me to repeat it? You’re really something, Y/N.”

You smirk, stepping closer and looping your arms around Jisung’s neck. You take in how Jisung’s eyes have widened and how his lips are parted at such an intimate gesture from you, wondering if this is how it feels in the movies, when the heroine finally gets the boy she’s been loving from a distance for so long. 

You look up at Jisung, and your heart has never felt so happy. “I guess this is my time to be vulnerable too. I don’t just like-like you, Jisung. I love you.”

It’s Jisung’s turn to be surprised. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah. For a very long time.”

He smiles bashfully, his elation at your own confession evident. “I love you too.”

Jisung tilts his head to his right, as you do the same, almost about to close the miniscule space between you both. And then he pulls away.

You watch Jisung, confused, as he covers his face with his palms, shyly giggling. “I’m sorry, it’s just that I dreamed of this for so long. Can you give me a second?” 

Never able to get enough of his antics, you watch as he pulls a stick of chapstick out of his pocket and swipes it on. He dabs his lips carefully before turning back to you. 

“Now where were we?”

Before you can even say anything, he’s closed that gap. His lips are soft and sweet, the taste of cherry and vanilla chapstick lingering. You close your eyes and melt into the kiss as Jisung brings up his hands to cradle your face. The sweet scent of him clouds your senses and washes away your inhibitions, and there’s nothing besides you both in this moment. He kisses you like there’s no tomorrow, no exams, no school or anyone else. He kisses you not like a friend, but a lover that he’s yearned for, which certainly wouldn’t be a lie.

You can’t believe that you’ve been pining after Jisung for the mere duration of your college years. It feels like you’ve waited your whole life for this. The murky puddles of water around you and the pungent stench of a nearby dumpster are nowhere near romantic, but with the way you’re kissing Jisung, you might as well be in heaven. 

If you dare to predict the future, you’ll have the rest of your life to look forward to moments like this, miss him even when he’s laying in your arms, love him when you both slow dance in the refrigerator light at midnight. And because you’re two broke peas in a pod, you both will definitely conduct more fake proposals with each other when you go out to eat. Hopefully before the real deal. You’ll just have to see who pops the question first. 

“Wow,” Jisung breathes against your lips. “My dreams have not done this moment any justice.”

You chuckle, leaning in for another kiss. “Mine too.” 

But Jisung dodges your lips, making you scoff as he raises his eyebrows at you. “And what are you going to be doing about Soobin?”

“You should be nicer. Poor Soobin. I wouldn’t have to let him down now if you’d just told me all of this earlier,” you scold Jisung lightly, cupping his chin. 

He pouts, swatting at your arms with the oversize sleeves of his hoodie. “Never mind. Let’s stop talking about him.”

You roll your eyes playfully and wrap your arms around his waist, pulling him closer. You’re sure that the lovesick look on Jisung’s face mirrors your own. He may not be perfect, but he’s perfect for you. Your best friend in the whole world. And whatever the future holds, that will never change.

“I love you, Hannie. Love you so much,” you whisper, pressing another soft kiss to his lips. You’ll never, ever get tired of kissing him.

Jisung smiles down at you lovingly, slipping off his hoodie to put it on you, noticing the way you shiver. But you’re not really that cold; it's the way he’s looking at you right now. Not that you’d tell him that. “Let’s go.”

“Where?” You ask, still in a dreamy daze. This day has turned out to be better than any other you’ve ever had. Everything was worth it.

“Home.”

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Professor Kim’s Teaching assistant

Professor!Namjoon   x   fem!reader

Summary: You feel drawn to the new professor like to nobody else. Does he reciprocate that feeling? How far will you take it?

Themes/warnings: smut with a bit of plot at the beginning, age difference (reader is Master student, so ca 5 years), hand job, oral (m receiving), fingering, unprotected sex, y/n has mild dom tendencies, tied up hands, nipple play

Wordcount: ca. 3300 words

Disclaimer: 18+, DO NOT INTERACT IF YOU ARE UNDER 18

I do not own BTS. They merely inspire me. None of this is related to their persons in real life.

“I want to use the last 5 minutes to discuss the topic that will occupy next lesson. Greek mythology in Harry Potter.”

When this new course opened the previous semester, you’d been dying to get a space. Which you finally did the second time around. But now that you’re sitting in Professor Kim’s course, you are bored. Either you know too much about literature or your minds are too alike. You already know almost all the stuff he talks about, while everyone else is in awe at his creative angles.

You raise your hand. Professor Kim looks around. Since none of the other 15 students want to say anything, he gets back to you with a sigh.

“Go ahead, Ms y/l/n.”

It’s almost always a conversation between just the two of you. It has been like that the entire semester.

“For one, there are all the beasts and magical creatures that J.K. Rowling involved in her magical universe. Things like the chimera, centaurs, Cerberus. Aside from that we also have characters in the book named after actual mythological beings, not just Greek, but also Roman.”

“That is correct. Could you give an example? Greek or Roman.”

“Take Remus Lupin for example. Roman legends say that Romulus and Remus were twins that were tasked with building a city. The short version is that Romulus got to build it and named it after himself, of course. Mythology says that they were raised by a she-wolf. I consider this fact of importance, since Remus Lupin is a werewolf.”

“Accurate. Everyone, until next week, if you haven’t done so yet, please read Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s stone. Ms y/l/n, my office, please.”

You file out of the classroom with the other students and head to Professor Kim’s office. You have no idea why he’d want to talk to you. He’s never asked you to his office before.

Professor Kim appears a minute after you, his glasses askew and his hair a slight mess. Same as usual.

You smile just a tiny bit. You’d definitely straighten out those glasses. But you’d definitely leave the messy hair be.

“Please, Ms y/l/n, come in. Would you like something to drink? I have tea, coffee or water.”

You sit down at the corner of his desk as he makes himself a cup of coffee.

“I’m good, thank you. Why am I here?”

He waits until the coffee machine is done, then leans against the cupboard on which it stands. His pecks are on display like that, and you give yourself a second to admire them.

“I want to discuss your future. You are exceptional in the field I teach.”

“I just like reading a lot and finding out what could have been behind it.”

You shrug your shoulders.

“Have you considered doing a PhD and becoming a professor?”

“Maybe.”  

“You don’t have to share with me, y/n, if you don’t want to. I merely wanted to offer you my assistance, in case you’d like it.”

Maybe it is because he’s trying so hard. Maybe because this is the first time he has called you by your first name.

“I did consider it for a while. But I had a professor last semester who said they’d do whatever it takes so I don’t get in anywhere as a PhD student.”

“What?”

Professor Kim moves so abruptly that he spills coffee all over his chest. Thanks to your long talk it’s only warm anymore, but he still curses. He puts the cup aside. It gives you a full frontal of his chest, including dark nipples that strain against the fabric.

You jump into action helping him clean up, because otherwise you might do something stupid. Something stupid like burying your face in his chest.

“Take it off.”

“It’s beyond saving. I never get coffee out.”

“Take it off. I’ll do it.”

He doesn’t even turn away to unbutton the shirt. When he tugs the rest of the shirt out of his pants to get the last 2 buttons, you have to cling to your composure very tightly. He hands you the shirt and you put it in the tiny sink in his office.

With the cold water and the immediacy of your reaction, the stain is out in next to no time.

“Et voila.”

You hold up the dripping shirt. No stain left on the light blue fabric. Your smile wavers when you see that Professor Kim is still standing there shirtless. His caramel skin looks like it is supposed to be savored slowly and explored extensively.

“Was it Lim?”

“Huh?”

“Did Professor Lim tell you those terrible things?”

“Oh, well…”

“Y/n!”

“Okay, yes, he did.”

Professor Kim sighs deeply. He straightens out his glasses and walks over to his desk.

“He hates women that are smarter than him. Especially if they are also beautiful. He’s an insecure pig. Time for some measures.”

“What? No!”

You are at the desk with 2 quick steps, your hand on Professor Kim’s upper arm. He looks up slowly from what he was writing, his eyes not focused on your hand but on your eyes.

“Y/n, if you want to go to university for a PhD, I will help you.”

“Okay, then help me. But please, let’s try to keep Professor Lim out of this for as long as possible. He won’t be able to do anything if he finds out last minute.”

Professor Kim straightens up and you finally let go of his arm. You’re a little sad, because it felt very nice. Strong and warm.

“How about you become my TA in the meantime, for your last semester here? That way we would have a valid excuse for spending some time together. Time we will mostly spend on prepping you for that PhD and the application process.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Professor Kim looks at his shirt in your arm and then his naked torso.

“I forgot I wasn’t wearing a shirt. Sorry about that.”

He grabs a jacket from a stand in the corner and buttons it up. This way, he is mostly covered up again. What a shame. You’d grown used to seeing him shirtless by now.

“And one more thing, y/n.”

“What?”

“Please call me Namjoon. Teaching assistants and their professors are almost always on first name terms.”

You hand him back the moist shirt.

“Got it. The shirt should be fine now. But please give it a wash in the washing machine as well.”

“Thank you for your help. I’ll remember that for next time.”

--------

As it turns out, Professor Kim – no, Namjoon – spills something quite regularly. No matter how elegant he looks, he can be quite clumsy. The following week you end up washing coke out of his shirt. The week after hot cocoa. You end up almost getting too comfortable with seeing him shirtless.

Being a TA is turning out to be quite fun and not all that much work, since Namjoon does not hold that many courses this semester.

The day comes when you get accepted into 3 different PhD programs at very prestigious universities. They are out of Professor Lim’s league, so he doesn’t dare mess with you. And finally, your graduation day arrives.

After a beautiful graduation ceremony, you have dinner with your mom and granny. Granny urges you to get married and mom wants you to finally start working full-time. They both talk way too much about your brother and sister and their little families.

Afterwards, you are in dire need of a drink. You end up in a poorly lit bar two houses down from the restaurant. Surprisingly, it smells like peppermint and lime in there. You sit down at the bar and order your favorite drink.

“Long day?”

Namjoon turns to you. You sat down on his right side without even noticing him there. You notice that the top 3 buttons of his shirt are open, and the sleeves pushed upwards. Your mind wants to go in some dirty directions, but you don’t let it.

Thankfully, the bartender puts down the drink in front of you right that moment.

“Kind of. Beautiful, but also laden. Like a landmine.”

“Sounds dangerous.”

“Sounds like family.”

Namjoon snorts into his drink.

“No matter how much I love my family, I understand what you mean. What did they say to you getting into the 3 best universities in the country?”

“Haven’t told them. They’d be livid that I haven’t gotten married or taken a full time, highly paid positions somewhere yet.”

“You’ll probably have to tell them sometime.”

“Yeah, sometime. I only see them once or twice a year and that’s soon enough for me.”

You let out a long, heavy sigh.

“You want to sit down in an alcove?”

“Sure.”

You move to an empty one with your drinks. The lighting is different here. Warmer, sexier. Namjoon’s dimples look like they want to pull you closer to him. You have a hard time resisting.

“Now that I’m no longer your professor, I’d still like to at least stay friends with you.”

“Of course. It’s thanks to you that I got to this point.”

“Not really. I only guided you a little. But thanks to you I now know how to clean almost all stains out of my shirts.”

You smile. That is true.

“I didn’t mind.”

You don’t because you find his clumsiness endearing. And also, because you got to see him shirtless on a weekly basis. Which was worth the effort.

Namjoon smiles. And something in that smile tells you that he knows.

You fidget a little. Since the nook is small and the bench short, your arm touches his in the process. You withdraw your arm and sit still again.

“I will miss having you around nearly every day. Of course, you were a great help, but mostly your presence is very stimulating to my mind.”

“Well, you wanted to be friends, so we will still get to see each other.”

“Of course. But that won’t be the same, will it?”

“I suppose not.”

Namjoon takes another sip of beer. When he leans back again, his cheeks are a faint strawberry color. You keep your eyes on him. He doesn’t look at you, though, but far into the distance.

“I am a very clumsy person. Which you know.”

“Yes.”

“I do spill drinks on myself quite regularly.”

“I know.”

“But maybe not quite so often. More like once or twice a month.”

“What are you saying?”

You’re still looking at him and he finally meets your eyes.

“I wanted to be close to you. The way you looked at my chest whenever I took of my shirt... I hoped you’d make a move on me someday.”

“Wait what?”

“Ridiculous, I know. You have marvelous self-restraint. And perhaps you only enjoy pecks in general, not specifically me as a person.”

His eyes are honest, with a hint of vulnerability. You hold his gaze for a few moments, then your eyes move down to his pecks. His shirt today is just the right amount of tight. But the fabric is midnight blue, so you cannot see through it.

You bite your bottom lip. You do like Namjoon as a person.

“I do like pecks. But yours are particularly… delectable.”

You slowly look up at him again. His dimples are showing. You move your hand up and gently poke one of his dimples with your finger. When you withdraw your hand again, Namjoon catches it and blows a kiss on your fingertip.

Butterflies flutter through your stomach. You move a little closer and put your hand on his thigh. He does not object. When you stroke up and down his thigh, his breathing becomes a little labored.

Encouraged by your bold movements, Namjoon leans forward and touches his lips to yours. You deepen the kiss. He tastes like peppermint and beer.

You break apart after what could have been seconds or hours.

“Would you like to disappear from here? My apartment is just down the road. If you aren’t ready, though, we can postpone that.”

You take him by the hand and pull him out of the alcove. Thank goodness the drinks are already paid for.

The warm summer air outside caresses your legs and arms. Namjoon takes your hand and guides you to his place. On the way you talk about books, as usual.

Only once the door to his apartment closes behind him do things change again. You’ve barely taken off your shoes when Namjoon grabs your waist and pulls you against him. This kiss is much less restrained and civil than the one in the bar.

You melt into him, your hands on his firm pecks. You run your hands over them, making sure to also caress his nipples gently. Every time you give them a twist, his breath catches. Finally, you can’t take it anymore and unbutton his shirt. He does not stop you.

Once you have peeled the shirt off him, you let your hands roam over his entire upper body. He gives you time to explore while keeping his hands at your waist.

When you break apart for a breather, Namjoon smiles.

“This kind of curiosity will bring you far anywhere, y/n.”

You giggle. Even in a situation like this, he can’t help but think of work and books.

“I hope it can also bring me as far as your bedroom.”

“If that is where you want to be, definitely.”

He walks to the bedroom door and pushes it open. You walk inside past him and turn on the light. There are beautiful paintings on the wall. The bed isn’t made, but overall, the room is very clean and organized.

You turn back to Namjoon.

“I love the interior design. I want a painting tour later on.”

“Whatever you wish, y/n.”

You put your hands on his belt buckle and open it.

“IF there is anything you don’t like, tell me to stop. Ditto for if it’s too much.”

“Who is the teacher here?”

You smirk up at him.

“Tonight, I think it’s me. But I’m always willing to switch roles.”

You pull the belt out of his pants.

“Lie down.”

He does.

“Put up your hands.”

He follows your instructions again. You tie his hands to the head of the bed with his belt.

“I’ll untie you whenever you want. Just say the word.”

“Got it. But I’m feeling pretty comfortable right now.”

You unzip your dress and drop it on the floor before crawling on the bed. Namjoon lies stretched out, the muscles in his arms and torso prominent. You sit down on his lower belly and give him a kiss.

“This could take a while.”

And it does. You start with feathery kisses on his dimples and then move down his neck. You are very tempted to leave marks there, but that wouldn’t be good for a professor who has to teach his students tomorrow.

So instead, you suck a mark into his bulging upper arm. You gently scratch your teeth over the inside of his forearm. That has goosebumps running over his arms. You bite down on the inside of his palm.

By then you’ve teased enough and move down to his chest. His gorgeous chest. Finally, you get to touch and savor. You place sloppy kisses all over his pecks. Namjoon watches you with hooded eyes. When you run your lips over his nipples, his eyes cross. You do it again and add a little tongue. He huffs out a breath.

You keep up the ministrations for another minute or two until you move down his stomach. You leave tiny bites there, which has his stomach muscles contracting like crazy.

You unzip his slacks.

“Hips up.”

He does and you pull the slacks and underwear down. As you already felt earlier, he is fully erected. You run your hand up the shaft and pay special attention to the frenulum. Namjoon takes a shuddering breath. Your thumb draws a circle around his slit.

“Baby, stop torturing me.”

“Are you in pain?”

“No.”

“Do you want me to stop?”

Namjoon sighs.

“Goodness, no.”

“Then stop complaining or I’ll gag you next.”

You smile up at him.

Then you lower your head and repeat the circular motion around his slit with your tongue. His moan is a true turn on. You ditch your panties, slip your hand between your legs and start playing with your clit, while you keep working him with your tongue and mouth.

It doesn’t take long until you have him at the brink of desperation. And ecstasy.

You raise your head and let go of him. His eyes linger on your other hand, which is between your legs.

“May I do that too, tonight?”

“Definitely. But later.”

You crawl back up to the headboard and untie him. He lowers his arms and presses you against his body. The close body contact feels heavenly.

Namjoon undoes your bra. You sit up and throw it aside. Then you lay down on him again, rubbing your nipples against his chest. It feels like heaven. Until you’re so sensitive you have to stop.

You kiss the tip of his nose.

“Your turn now, professor. I want to feel you in me.”

He rolls you around until you are lying on your back and he is hovering over you. With one hand he grabs your hands and pins them against the pillows above you. You find that very, very hot.

You arch your body towards him.

“Please.”

“How could I say no to that.”

You feel his tip push against your entrance. It’s a nice stretch once he finally pushes into you, slowly, so you can adjust. Except that you are so turned on that you don’t really need time to adjust.

Namjoon is breathing heavily by the time he bottoms out.

“Give me just a second like this, okay? I don’t want to cum right away.”

He smiles down at you and the dimples appear in all their glory. You pucker your lips. He gets the message and leans down for a kiss. A very deep, slightly messy kiss.

Once you break apart and he finally starts moving, your eyes meet. His are dark, almost black, with lust.

His moves are slow and steady at first. He lets go of one of your hands, so you can play with your nipple. It doesn’t take long until his moves become sloppier, harsher. With a few more twists or your nipple your high burns its way through you.

Namjoon’s breathing gets shallower while you moan into his ear. He lets go of your other hand and you sling both around his torso.

“I can’t… much longer…”

“It’s okay. We have all night for more.”

A few more sloppy thrusts, then Namjoon cums. He buries his face in your shoulder, and you hold him once his body ceases to move.

It takes a bit for both your breathing to normalize and for heartbeats to slow down again. Until that happens, you stroke Namjoon’s hair.

You don’t know how long you lay there like that, but you enjoy it.

Eventually, Namjoon raises his head and looks down at you. His eyes have cleared up to their normal dark brown. You see something in them that looks surprisingly like love. You’re even more surprised that you don’t mind that at all. Maybe it is time to trust another person and give them your love.

“Would you like to go and take a hot shower with me, y/n.”

“Gladly.”

He pulls out of you and helps you up.

“About that paintings tour of your apartment?”

“Yes?”

“Let’s postpone that until tomorrow. I think we’re busy for the rest of the night.”

Namjoon guides you into the bathroom, where he turns on the shower. There is easily enough space for two people in there.

“As you prefer, honey.”

When you look at him his eyes are crinkled in a smile.

© musicloverxoxo7, 2023

Please do not copy, translate, or repost my work (reblogging is fine though). Doing so will make you legally liable for stealing intellectual property.

#bts smut #bts imagines #bts x reader #bts fanfic #female y/n #namjoon x reader #namjoon x you #namjoon smut #namjoon #female reader

[lurking-latinist]

re: these tags

THAT'S SO COOL AHHHH!! good for you aubreyad community stays winning

[introducing this with a disclaimer in case i'm wrong about everything: i am only halfway through the series rn (just about to finish 10) and also am but a mere undergrad classics major who has yet to even declare said major and I probably don't have the right to be yapping about propertius. nevertheless i shall.]

anyway i have been growing persistently more insane about diana's proximity to a Lot of classical imagery, like how her first appearance in post captain is literally during a fox hunt + all the gender stuff she has going, obviously linking her to mythological diana (and artemis if we're going to conflate the two) but your take has sent me in a whole new direction with that-- because she doesn't actually really embody the artemis archetype all too much overall (an emphasized character trait being that she's notably Not Chaste) EXCEPT in relation to stephen, w/ whom her relationship is much more brotherly than it is sensual i guess?

which would align very well with your idea of diana as elegiac puella-- sort of in a way being mythologized by stephen-- resulting in the reader actually being able to see two different manifestations of her character (one through the eyes of an omniscient prosaic narrator and one through the perspective of stephen as a "poet" figure). and i just think that's neat.

my latin class has also been looking at a few of propertius' love elegies and, at least to me, they read a lot like if stephen 1.) hated himself significantly less and 2.) were less indecisive in writing about his Feelings?? 1.8 (and all of the poems concerning cynthia moving/traveling away and propertius being all moody about it) is very reminiscent of the arc from post captain to the surgeon's mate imo. 1.12 is also Literally Him-- "cynthia prima fuit cynthia finis erit" can be compared to stephen's poetic catastrophizing about how his life is Literally Over and Love Is Dead when he believes to have fallen out of love with diana!?!? i'm going to lose my mind.

sorry for dumping all of this on you unprompted and also sorry for the fact that it probably does not make sense. peace and love

if undergrad classicists don't talk about propertius literally WHO WILL. (genuinely my currently-being-written phd dissertation chapter is based on an idea I had in the class I read propertius in freshman year. never feel like you're not a 'real scholar' or something yet, because you honestly never do become something different, you just keep reading and talking and this is what we do! there's nothing realer than this!)

oh wow that's really well put--we kind of get to see her from an omniscient-narrator perspective and through the eyes of her lover who is Not Being Normal About Her. very nice!

yeah I keep reading bits of propertius and being like "hmm is po'b going to quote this one I wonder." (he doesn't mostly but I keep thinking he should. because I want the aubreyad to be denser and less accessible I guess? :P) there's a lot of catullus woven in too of course - I associate Catullus 72 with the 'falling out of love' arc (my dude that is not what falling out of love looks like).

oh gosh yes 1.8 -- that was one of the things I was trying to describe to Distinguished Classicist, the way she's so -- what's the word I want? not volatile... she disappears. she's constantly Gone. you turn around and oops, she's eloped to Sweden. (honestly though if Cynthia and Propertius could manage to have *fake* revenge affairs that would actually be *great*, for them that would be an improvement.) Gareth Williams (in a chapter called, amazingly, "From Grave to Rave") describes Cynthia as "ever only elusively visible in the narratological mist" and I feel like that's a bit what's going on with Diana. For her there's a genre element as well--she's a woman in the Men Going to Sea books, and even though the Aubreyad gives way more time to women than the average Men Going to Sea book, the fact is the camera frequently simply isn't on her. We see far more of Stephen thinking about her, hearing rumors, etc. than we do of her actually being on the page. Now in elegy nobody seems to be quite fully on the page, we only get "fragments of story" as Genevieve Liveley and Patricia Salzmann-Mitchell say (excellent collection by that name btw, I recommend checking it out if you're at all interested in narrative and lyric/elegy). But Diana manages this while being in a novel, which is impressive to me.

yeah stephen as a character is a lot more... self-reflective? than propertius' speaker. for one thing he's in a novel, I think, so he can actually... have a series of contiguous experiences. he's also a compulsive diarist which is helpful for self-reflection I guess. and more mature, like, as a human being, than propertius' speaker, who apparently does nothing with his life except be in love and write poetry, he doesn't exist outside of as a poetic voice whereas, again, stephen benefits from a third-person narrator and has medicine and spying to do and so on. also he's Catholic.

I love the "Catullus-and-water" line, it's like O'Brian just put in a little wink to those of us who would notice this, like, "yes I am doing this on purpose." All in all I've pretty much defaulted to assuming that O'Brian is doing things on purpose. although he did forget Babbington's first name that one time and retconned it very awkwardly

#aubreyad #aubrey-maturin #dissertationblogging

[thatlittleegyptologist]

I'm doing nanowrimo this month, and i've already run out of puff after 600 words :( any advice on bashing out 50k+ words in one evening? love your fanfic <3

Thank you! Uhh I can't give advice on 50k words in a day (the most I've ever managed was 15k in one day) but as someone who's written both long ass fanfics and a long ass PhD thesis, but I can give some general writing advice (as much as I can while being some rando with no real experience).

Try to set a goal for the amount of words in a day, but don't be bound to it. For instance, with my thesis I had a very low goal of 500 words a day because it was a long project and I needed to research a lot. More often than not I would write more than that, and sometimes I'd write less. It didn't really matter as long as I'd written something. With fanfic, I tend to set a goal of 2k words a day, which I find pretty manageable, but that's mostly because of how I structure my own writing. I don't beat myself up if I don't hit that target I set for myself.

That being said, with nanowrimo there's a time limit, so you've got to learn to manage your time without being obsessed with the word count. The more you obsess about the word count, the less you're going to be able to write because you're too busy thinking 'uhhh I've only written X number of words' and not actually focusing on the story you're writing. You have to let the story take you where it's going rather than worrying about 'is it enough'. When I switch that part of me off I end up finishing a scene I was writing and seeing that it's 1.3k words and I hadn't even thought about it.

Don't be afraid to scrap things if they're not working. Sometimes you've got this whole plan and you think 'yeah no this'll be good' and then the characters won't go there. You sit and slog trying to get them to go along with what you want but they don't move and neither does your word count. At that point, you have to decide if this is because you've hit a bit of a block, or if it's something the characters shouldn't be doing in this story. If it's a block, go do something else and rotate the scenario in your mind like a daydream and you'll likely figure a way out. If it's something the characters shouldn't be doing because it no longer fits with the story you're telling, then you'll have to do the classic 'kill your darlings' and remove it. Don't kill the idea entirely! Keep it in a different file for another story if it works there. I've had to do that with my own work, where I'm trying to make something fit because I thought it was cool and the characters don't want to do it, so I scrap it and take it in an entirely different direction that feels natural and thus becomes easier to write.

Description is key. I say this with all the love in the world, but some people have taken the fact that 'it was a dark and stormy night' is a trope and just gone in an entirely different direction where they fail to describe anything at all. Description of a room, the lighting, the mood, the atmosphere, people's feelings, the actions they take between speaking all add to your word count, and they're important for helping your readers see the world you're in. For instance, there's a difference between:

He entered the hall before him, taking in his surroundings. There she was at the end of it all, sat on her throne, looking angry with him. "So you finally decided to show your face?" she said spitefully. "You know I would not be this late if I had any other choice," he replied.

and

He entered the vast hall before him, taking in his surroundings. The light was dim through the stained glass, casting a gloom over the walls. As he walked purposefully forwards, his footfall was hushed by the length of carpet underfoot, making the clink of his armour echo louder in the alcoves. There she was, the woman he sought, slouched lazily on her throne, a look of bored disdain crossing her features as she eyed his approach. When he was almost upon her that look turned to fury as she sat up, hands clasped in front of her, her green eyes blazed with the anger she was yet to release upon him. "So you finally decided to show your face?" she asked spitefully, one eyebrow raised in condescension. "It's a wonder you dared to come back at all considering your behaviour." He sighed. It wasn't as if he didn't deserve her ire, but he wished she'd let him explain himself first. "You know I would not be this late if I had any other choice," he replied, stepping closer to her. "I would never willingly hurt you this way. You have to believe me."

See how, with a little description and set up, you go from 54 words to 193 words without much effort? I've not said anything new really, I've just set the scene a little more so it matches the mood of the characters and the tone of the scene I'm writing. I mean I've just made that up on the spot, but you get a better feel for the characters I'm dealing with than you did in the first example.

5. Take breaks. Sometimes it really isn't going to come to you in the next few hours. Go away, do something else, and come back to it later. In fact, it's okay not to come back to it at all if you're just not in the right frame of mind to do it. Forcing yourself won't help you or the story you're trying to write, so always take time to reset your brain at come at it in a better frame of mind. 6. Plan where you want to go with what you're writing but don't bind yourself to that plan. I always have a rough outline so I know where I want to go, but as my beta can attest, I won't always stick to it if either it doesn't work or I think of something better as I'm writing it. If you bind yourself too hard to where you think the story should go, you can cause problems in moving forward (see again: kill your darlings) 7. Re-read what you've already written. You have to sit there and ask yourself 'is there any way I can improve this?' 'have I used the same adjective twice in as many sentences and can I use a synonym to break that up but still convey the same meaning?' 'Would the character really say that?' 'are they yelling when really they should only have a raised voice?' etc etc. I go through my own work, regularly (again my beta will attest to the googledoc we have where I will re-read a chapter and just go to town) editing how things are phrased or dialogue to tighten it up. I know fanfic is posted chapter by chapter initially, but eventually it will be complete and someone is going to experience it reading it all in one sitting without having to wait for the next chapter. So it's important, at least for me, to make my chapters make sense as chapters, but also make sense as a whole story read from beginning to end. Re-reading also allows you to find little threads you'd woven in previously and pull those through, making a more cohesive narrative rather than having people wonder 'huh they never did follow that up'. 8. Remember you can edit later! A key thing I had to learn when writing my PhD is learning to move on when something isn't quite perfect yet. I used to get stuck because I'd be mad at it not being right first time and thus my word count would go absolutely nowhere. PhD taught me I can't do that. Sometimes you've got to write a really shitty paragraph, put a comment next to it saying 'fix this later' and move on. If you don't move on you'll never get anywhere because you'll be stuck in a mess of your own making without writing the story you've got in your head. Be a little bit messy, write that terrible dialogue, and then keep going with the story you were telling. The dialogue can be fixed, but losing your momentum can't. 9. Let yourself be a little more wordy! School, or at least my schooling, wanted us to be very precise with what you were saying when you wrote things. It discouraged explanation and more verbose paragraphs in favour of succinctness and writing to marking schemes. If you want to describe something, describe it! Tell your audience what the room looks like, what the person looks like, what something smells like. You don't have to purple prose it, or go over the top, just a little more description allows you to see things better in your head and writing often comes easier for me when I can see it. One of the compliments I've had on my writing is that people say they can clearly see the thing I've described, and they love it or hate it based on that description. Letting yourself fall a little into your created world with your description allows you to feel it better when writing it, and in turn allows your readers to imagine it. Words are good! Use them! 10. Have fun! And don't be like me and write a very long response to an ask about writing very long things.

#there are better writers than me following me here #but this is the best advice I can give from my perspective

[comradekatara]

can you please tell us about dr professor sokka phd x 7

this ask inspired me to make a sokkademia tag. peruse at your leisure

sokka brings a certain philosophy professor energy to the physics department and a certain physics professor energy to the engineering department thats got all the students complaining to the dean bc he refuses to grade on a curve.

his standards are extremely high, but the worst part is he’s convinced his standards are like. the bare minimum and everyone’s just too STUPID to meet them. 

he’s so divisive as a professor that students get in physical altercations upon debating his reputation. he has clear favorites and speaks to them specifically. the rest he dismisses as stupid and doesn't even bother trying to remember their names. but he respects the students who actually put in the work and they LOVE him and will go to bat for him like their life depended on it, even when faced with a (not uncommon) student who’s like “he told me to drop out,” they’re just like “and? sounds like you should’ve taken his advice.”

when katara learns how sokka treats his students she yells at him for hours. sokka’s just like “sorry but I can’t coddle and befriend my students like you do katara. we’re doing actual work instead of just playing with water” and she nearly kills him.

the university really wants sokka to give huge, accessible lectures that are open to anyone, since it’s great for business for obvious reasons. at first, sokka is just happy that he’s considered worthy of such a position, but he quickly realizes that he hates this setup. and since he basically has unlimited freedom since he’s in no danger of being fired, he’s instead allowed to construct very exclusive seminars in which he personally vets everyone who applies based on vibes. 

after sokka starts playing favorites even more explicitly than he already had been, some students protest that sokka is “gatekeeping academia” and “being an intellectual elitist.” sokka’s just like “well that’s rich coming from people born in the upper ring of ba sing se. I invite students from all over the world to my seminars, including women btw.” that shuts them up real quick. (they also start admitting women.)

since sokka’s position as BSSU is basically kuei’s bribe to keep sokka as his advisor despite the fact that sokka cannot stand him, the university has no choice but to let him teach whatever he wants however he wants, since firing him would basically be treason against the earth king. sokka takes advantage of this privilege to the fullest. (and let’s be real. he’s earned it.) 

he mainly teaches courses in the physics and engineering departments, but in his classes he discusses everything from art history to epic poetry to ontology. he barely even has a curriculum planned, he basically just talks about whatever he and his students feel like discussing. it’s nice to have a part of his life where he doesn’t need to adhere to a strict schedule. he knows it’s a privilege to not have a syllabus or a defined curriculum in academia, and he makes the most of it. his students know how lucky they are to work with him.

when he admits students into his class, he doesn’t actually care about prerequisites or what field they’re studying. in fact, despite officially teaching physics and engineering, he doesn’t like that most of them walk around with unearned superiority complexes, and is more likely to admit students who actually read and engage with art for pleasure. being "bad at math" is a way less egregious crime than not being curious and open-minded, in his opinion. 

sokka doesn’t like giving tests, essays, or psets, since he thinks busywork is a waste of time, and he doesn’t wanna have to grade all that (for the first year, when he was giving lectures, it wasn’t an issue, since he had ta’s, but now that he exclusively does seminars, he has to grade everything himself, which is a fucking pain. he doesn’t have time for that!) so instead he just gives them one big research project with the open-ended prompt of “teach me something new.” nothing is off-limits. the weirder the better. 

his students know that he is prone to go on tangents that can take up the entire class time, and it’s really easy to get him going. they’ll spend whole periods listening to him tell them about that time he got stuck in a hole while hunting and thought he was going to die, or debating the merits of airships vs sky bison as transportation.  

ba sing se is a very insular city, and in it sokka has a reputation as an elitist, angry curmudgeon who keeps to himself aside from his inexplicable friendships with an elderly tea shop owner and that gloomy girl who sighs a lot. in the southern water tribe, on the other hand, sokka is seen as a goofy extrovert who knows everyone by name and is always looking to help out in any way he can (to the point where his compulsive need to help people is actually a little concerning). everywhere else, sokka’s reputation is generally somewhere in the middle, but these are the two poles. which means that whenever someone from his tribe meets one of his students, they experience this disconnect where they’re both just like “are you sure we both know sokka?? the sokka you’re describing is the same sokka as the one i know??? for real???”

sokka eventually gets sick of spending so much time in ba sing se. he suggests to katara that they should build a university in the south pole so that he can work there. katara’s like “guess what we actually do have a school in the south pole and i happen to teach there, only we don’t study book-learning for eggheads.” sokka reminds katara that the only academic universities in the water tribe are in the north (where they don’t admit women) and immediately katara decides to build a university in the south, and also it was her idea btw.

sokka does a lot of research in bending theory, and he occasionally uses katara’s students to help him with his experiments in hydrodynamics. katara doesn’t like that sokka thinks he can just steal her students like that, so she decides to turn the tables on him, see how he likes it. she finds his least boring looking student to ask out, and they get through a couple dates until katara finds his condescension too unbearable to continue. by the third time he’s told her that the only reason she doesn’t like math is because she doesn’t understand it, katara blurts out “my cat is sick i should go home and check on her bye” and leaves to punch the snow until she feels better. and they didn’t even hook up. what a waste. 

toph, on the other hand, hooks up with many of sokka’s students. this is because toph likes women, which comprise a far less insufferable demographic. 

no one in the gaang has read sokka’s books. zuko tried, he really did, but it gave him a really bad migraine. no one else even bothered the attempt. azula, mai, and ty lee on the other hand are all like, “you haven’t read it? sokka merely presents a theory of the particle composition of the spirit world via the notion of it as a fifth dimension interposed over space and time. it’s actually quite elementary stuff… that is, if you comprehend the foundations…” 

wan shi tong has a few of sokka’s books in his library. the kitsune snuck them in there without his knowledge. 

sokka coauthors a lot of his papers with yue, but since they’ve long since agreed that anyone but a select few being aware of their rendezvous in the spirit world is probably not a good idea, yue is happy with being anonymized. after all, the other spirits knowing that she divulged the secrets of their plane to such an insolent mortal would probably ruin her street cred. 

sokka doesn’t really get along with the other professors. sure, they’re nice enough for the most part, and he admires their dedication to their fields, but the problem is that for all their knowledge in one extremely specific area of study, they have no actual practical knowledge or any understanding of the real world whatsoever. sometimes sokka will agree to go out with them for drinks, and even though they’re all older than him, he feels like he’s babysitting.

suki doesn’t spend much time in ba sing se, since they both agree that it’s preferable to hang out on kyoshi island or in the southern water tribe, or even the fire nation. but sometimes she’ll come if the earth king is throwing a party or if iroh has invited them for tea (at which point their reunion is extremely dramatic, as always, even if they saw each other just last week). one day the dean pulls sokka aside and is like “just because you’re a special case doesn’t mean you can date students” and sokka’s like “what??? why would i date a student???” and the dean says “well someone informed me that you were kissing a young woman on campus yesterday” and sokka’s like “suki??? you mean my girlfriend suki??? she doesn’t even live in ba sing se.” and the dean is like “nevertheless. you shouldn’t do that. i hear it’s making people jealous.”

#beangods #asks #postwargaang #sokkademia #sokka #katara #katara&sokka #kuei&sokka #sokkaxsuki #sokkaxyue #ugh now i wanna make a similar post but for katara as a teacher #and toph #i guess we already know what suki is like as a teacher lol #i love professors who alienate most of their class the entire semester and make u feel stupid and then u check ur transcript and u got an A #best kind of class. thats sokka

[holdmecloser-gandydancer]

It's happening again. 

The one thing she'd hoped to prevent with her sacrifice, hoping to scrounge up enough time. The relics had all gone silent in past decade. Just as she had intended. She had been certain that she'd have enough time to find the relics, return the Light to its full power, enact her plan, and reunite with her family. 

How foolish. 

Her quest to obtain the Animus Bell was foolhardy at best. Taking a page out of Magnus's book. She knew it was a trap. The envelope appearing out of nowhere, dangling the relic over her head. It was a mistake going in. Now her joints hurt even more than they did when she was regularly running from the apocalypse and she has new nightmares to add to the rotation. Those technicolor freaks taunting her, telling her that someone in her memories, "That pudgy fellow in the blue jeans," personally handed them the relic, so doesn't this feel like he's the one punishing her and not them? 

She'd done her best to wave those thoughts away. Buckle down, redouble her search efforts. Get help creating a floating base she can actually bring people to without frying their brains or broadcasting all her sins. But even that wasn't enough. She needed help, real help. 

And she's getting it. But, even as the anticipation for their arrival makes it feel like she's got bees in her gut, she's haunted by the fact that the surface of the world is marred by another shiny, black pockmark. 

It's happening again. 

All the planning and merriment of the Midsummer Solstice, paired with the knowledge that now, thanks to the boys, she had three of the relics in her possession had put her at ease. Perhaps that was her biggest mistake, believing that somehow, someway, they'd be able to get the jump on the Hunger. But now they officially have a deadline.

Finding the Light in a year with all seven of them was hard enough most cycles. But after severing it in seven different ways, Lup gone, Davenport as good as gone, and Barry at odds with Lucretia, she has little confidence that they can  do it. Half capacity and the boys don't even know what they're looking for. They don't know why. 

Every single day she has to keep herself from fully inoculating them. It would make the process go so much faster. 

It would stop the process because they would hate her. 

It's happening again.

In the months before the redaction, everyone knew something was bothering her. She had reverted to her pre-mission self, holing up in her room for days on end, hardly talking to anyone. She took all her meals in her room,  let dishes pile up. Everyone figured that, like all of them, she was taking the destruction of this plane, their new plane, hard. And she was. And by the time Lup went missing, it was already too late for anyone to try to stop her even if they had figured it out. 

And she's isolating again. She can't hide it from anyone, but she does her best. If everyone is in training five and eight and ten hours a day, no one can notice she's hiding behind stacks and stacks of books in her office. Books that nobody on base could read anyway; the words would go swimming and she'd have to explain that. 

Just one more. 

They can do it. She can save everyone this time.

It's happening again.

She's not too proud to admit just how angry she was when she was out voted. Just because she wasn't dripping with PhDs somehow meant that her knowledge on science wasn't as valuable. The whole ship was at each other's throats for a while after that. 

That's the thing with scientists, they always think they know best. That's what got them all in this mess. Made Lup vanish. Turned Barry against her. Got Maureen Miller killed. Turned Lucas Miller into a death fugitive. If, perhaps, any one of them had listened to her, they could all be fine. But no, nobody wanted to listen to Lucretia so now the apocalypse is on their doorstep once more. 

It finally happened.

If Lucretia is being honest, she never dreamed they'd actually be able to stop the Hunger for good. By the time next Midsummer rolls around, everyone is fairly scattered. But, by some divine act, they all reconvene. 

Perhaps calling Merle personally inviting everyone to his new home is hardly a divine act. It's tenuous. Taako can barely be in the same room as her. Barry doesn't look at her. Lup looks scared of her, but graciously tries to hide it. Davenport radiates disappointment still. Magnus and Merle do their best to lighten the atmosphere. Everyone is tense as the eclipse passes overhead. They all wait for a horrible cacophony and billions of crawling eyes.

None come. The eclipse passes and each one of them exhale a century long breath. 

There's a first time for everything. Lucretia hopes that extends to forgiveness.

#reese writes #taz balance #Lucretia #the adventure zone balance #balance #apologies for any wonkyness with the formatting im posting from my phone dnfnsjnd #this is something just to clear out some covwebs because im in a relisten and i was just thinking about that midsummer solstice for luce

[victimsofyaoipoll]

Round 2

Propaganda under the cut

Erina Pendleton

Erina is SO MUCH MORE than just a "Generic Love Interest" that was brought in the story to continue the bloodline after everything that happens (and it's made abundantly clear time and time and TIME AGAIN that she means everything to Jonathan, to a point that she was his exact reason to standing up against Dio for the first time) but without fail she's only ever allowed to be the supportive best friend. Or a wingman for Jonathan and whoever he's being shipped with. Or simply supposed to sit there and allow her husband to have a male lover (the amount of posts I've seen of ppl using the excuse that 'it was very common back in the Victorian Era for men to keep male lovers that their wives were aware of and quietly accepted so it isn't a stretch to say that Erina and Jonathan wouldn't be the same--especially given how progressive she's written". Or of course my favorite when they completely erase her from the narrative and pretends she doesn't exist Jonathan's got their son for some reason, but nope she ain't there! 

a lot of times ppl who ship her CANON HUSBAND jonathan joestar with speedwagon will put her on the back burner of HER OWN CANON RELATIONSHIP in favor of propping up jonawagon, to the point where 90% of the archive for jonawagon/jonawagon(eri) is either erina giving jonathan and speedwagon consent to be happy together while she acts like a #LoveIsLove wingman OR they'll have the audacity to write fics where erina comforts speedwagon at HER HUSBAND'S FUNERAL

Our hero’s hot wife who was the first (and arguably) only person to give him the emotional support he needed. She’s the only person who never expects him to fulfill some mythical role, she just loves him for who he is. She’s been his best friend and the love of his life since he was 12 years old. When it comes to hero/sidekick ship, she’s forced to be a wing woman for her own husband, either nobly letting him go or peacefully agreeing to an open relationship but only for him!!! She gets nothing out of it, she’s just a good Victorian wife who is “ahead of her time”. Usually, just so she can provide a womb so that the hero/sidekick can be dads and she can conveniently be offscreen. OR she’s written as a lesbian in order to completely and “justifiably” take her out of the equation but there’s a.) no other woman in her vicinity to even ship her with b.) there’s vaguely some faceless, nameless woman we’re meant to assume she’s pursuing, not even a real OC for her.

Alana Bloom

she kissed will graham in s1 and dated hannibal in s2 so you can imagine how bad the fandom is to her. fun fact she's in a canon lesbian relationship now tho <3

The show literally does the yaoi treatment of victimisation for the benefit of the male leads to her. And then the fandom mistreats her

I'm not sure if this even counts but...Literally a victim of Yaoi along with several other characters in-series, but she got it almost the worst. The entire show is just people dying because the two male leads are OBSESSED with each other and can't be normal about anything. Alana Bloom, actual PhD of psychology and consultant to the FBI, got kissed by one guy, fucked and fed people-meant by the other, and pushed out a window by the murder husbands' forced-surrogate daughter. Like. Actual victim of several crimes caused by yaoi. She's probably one of the few examples of a Yaoi Victim overcoming and evolving past her yaoi-related trauma into a stronger person/character, though: She gets an entire character overhaul and a hot, millionairess for a wife. She kills a man with an eel. She becomes head of the BSHCI, effectively putting her in complete power over her jackass cannibal ex-bf. She does quite well. Unfortunately, the rest of her screen time is spent trying not to get killed in the ongoing fallout of Hannibal and Will's fucked up courtship, but hey. Can't have everything. I don't even know if I'm saying anything valid here: the fandom loves her, but I supposed her position outside of the Hannigram relationship relegates her to a non-subject in a lot of Hannigram-focused fanwork. She's an 'obstacle' to their relationship only in the sense that Will had a crush on her once that went nowhere and Hannibal started an actual relationship with her SPECIFICALLY to piss off Will. I guess she's also a more literal obstacle as Hannibal's jailer and Will's friend who's constantly pointing out to him that Morals exist and he should try having some of those, maybe.

#round 2 #poll #erina pendleton #jjba #jjba part 1 #jojo's bizarre adventure #alana bloom #hannibal #nbc hannibal

[wild-ride-to-headcanons]

So I’ve been inactive for a tad second, honestly How To Train your Dragon caught my eye and I’ve left TFP on the drying rack for a week or two. So to keep myself active and get back in the transformers mood, I’ve come up with some stuff about the kids. Their home life, some Headcanons, and just about them.

So let’s learn about the kids!!

Jack Darby is up first! Jack is the oldest of the teens, though he’s yet to hit even his young adult years. He’s a 17 year old teen. Tall and lanky, he stands around 6’7. At this point taller than his mom and even Fowler. Kids at his school often joke that he is emo, due to his tendencies to wear darker and baggier clothes. Also there’s the fact that he hasn’t cut his hair for awhile and it grew out. For the longest time he’d let his hair just fall over his face, only recently did he start pulling it back into a bun. He’s considered the quiet kid at school and around town. He doesn’t talk much, tends to stay home when he can, and rarely does he allow his emotions to show. He’s quite to a point that most kids at his school thinks he’s mute, only a few people know he’s not.

•Jack doesn’t have a dead beat dad, he just has a dead one.

•He likes drawing, he and Miko bond over it. He prefers realism, and neutral colors

• he has a thing for short more rounded women (hint at how Sierra’s gonna look ;)

•He’s interested in history and has an extreme curiosity that cannot be quenched!

•Jack has tendency’s to panic over those around him, always stressed about someone.

•unfortunately he’s also dealing with some mental issues (ones that we’ll have to learn about on the way.)

Miko Nakadi is up next! Miko is a young Japanese teen, she’s eccentric and loud. Standing at only 5 feet, and is 16 years old. Nothing seems to bother her, and she’s seems to have distaste for authority. This is due to her life in Japan. Miko grew up on a boat, raised by fishermen. They weren’t her bio family, though they still took her in. For most of her life in Japan she was raised on the water, not even going to a public school. These fishermen influenced most of who she is. They’re loud and enthusiastic, always encouraging her to be her real self. That combined with her little interaction with those her own age and others that lived in Japan, she has no fear to show herself. Unfortunately due to an accident on the sea, Miko got injured, permanently leaving some health issues. Due to this accident the local authorities deemed that she wasn’t raised in a safe environment and took her away, this left a bad taste of authority’s in her mouth. Eventually she managed to get enrolled in a exchange student program and was sent to America.

•She has no idea who her bio family is and doesn’t want to know.

•like Jack she loves drawing, though she prefers a more fantasy setting with bunches of colors.

•she has yet to know her type, though seems to be very open when it comes to sexuality.

•she struggles when it comes to understanding danger, as she’s been introduced to a considerably large amount of it since she was young. She also struggles understanding people and their emotions, due to not being around many.

•other than her health issue, Miko was diagnosed with Autism at a young age, and she believes that she has some ADHD.

•She loves music, especially rock and metal. If it’s loud, it’s fun. (She’s mostly deaf, having to wear hearing aids) she loves to play instruments, and has an easy time picking up on how to learn them.

Rafael Esquivel is our final one of the main trio. At 12 years old he’s only 4 1/2 feet. He’s a child prodigy, practically skipping middle school and most of elementary school. Soon it’s believed he’ll be able to go to college. He’s from a Hispanic family, a large one, having 10 siblings. Raf is from a family of geniuses, his parent both being engineers, and his sibling all aiming for high grades and phd’s. Since he was young, Raf loved to absorb knowledge. He read as many books as he could, took a lot of notes, always asked his siblings to teach him all they know. So his older sister taught him coding, while her twin taught him how to hack. One of his older brothers showed him how to start in the engineering field, often giving him little projects to build and learn from. His other siblings will teach him about biology and chemistry, despite him not being as interested in those fields. Then theirs his eldest brother, he makes sure everyone is taken care of in their parents place, always making sure that a break is taken. He also make sure that Raf keeps an open mind.

•His parents are rarely home, always on the job and making sure their family has enough to live a comfortable life. Their eldest son became the primary caretaker of the house, after Raf’s Abuela passed.

•He doesn’t show much interest in doing art like the other two, but he does enjoy the beauty of it. Especially since one of his aunt’s constantly shows him the beauty of the world.

•He’s too young and too into his education to even think about sexuality and romance. Even though one of his brothers is into psychology and sociology and is especially all about romance.

•Since he’s been so focused on learning and not socializing, his only friends are his siblings, he moved too quick through school too actually get to know kids his age. Sure the older kids treat him well in school, but they’ve never been friendly.

•His family believes that he has autism (I know a stereotype) but they’ve never diagnosed him or put him on any medications.

•other than his love for engineering, computers, and science, Raf has shown to be interested in a few other things. He loves reptiles and other little critters. He especially loves gaming and racing in games or with toy cars. He’s also shown an interest in archeology, especially since his uncle is an Archeologist, and gave him a necklace with a claw fossil attached to it.

That’s all I’m going to share for now, I feel like it’s best to learn about them as we go through the story. I also wanna mention that Jasper will be much more alive, bringing in more human characters and rounding out the few we get to see. Jack and Vince will still be rivals (it’s mostly one sided, Vince can’t handle Jack’s quite self.) sierra will have more to her than just being Jack’s small crush. Her friend will go through a race change and will have a twin, her family will also be the one fostering Miko. There will also be more characters introduced, you will just have to wait to meet them.

#transformers #tfp #tf au #tfp au #transformers prime #jack darby #miko nakadai #tfp jack #tfp miko #rafael esquivel #tfp raf #tfp vince #maccadam

[somanyfuckedupiftruebooks]

Mag 33

*Waves excitedly* Hi Tim!! It's so nice to meet you in person! <3 I'm glad you've arrived to point out problems and try and make Jon do his job properly.

Grumpy >:(

Thank you Tim for the canonical confirmation that normal people do listen to these tapes as part of standard research and study. This is absolutely essential to the inherent comedy of Season 1 and you are an angel for bringing this to our attention.

Fuck me this is so clever. Pointing out that the dates around Hill Top Road are canonically inconsistent during an in-universe moment where the characters are clarifying non-canonical inconsistencies with their own narration of events, thus disguising the fact that time, space and reality actually are inconsistent around Hill Top Road in-universe. This is so clever!!

Imagine doing a PhD in manifestations. What does that even mean.

Also Jon is being Very Grumpy >:( If you don't care about the answer, don't ask the question Archivist. Tim's trying really hard to be chipper and you're not helping.

God it's so good getting these parantheticals describing their tones. I'm really happy that I'm actually reading the transcripts, this is great.

Tim. Tim. Tim. Look at me. Are you saying you've been working in the Archives for months with no idea what the statement IDs meant and you're only admitting it now? Did you not realise the numbers correlated to anything before this moment? If so, you're the most valid motherfucker in this entire Institute and you deserve a raise.

In all seriousness though, this is incredibly understandable. I have actually done it twice! In a previous job at a hospital I worked in Medical Records (which was very similar to an archive) and I was there for months before I figured out that there was a logical sequence to the MRNs (Medical Record Numbers). I thought they were just long strings of unique numbers. And in my current job I work with educational course codes (processing multiple different subject and qualification level codes each day, sometimes working with the same ones for months) and I literally had this job for years before I was told the system behind the codes and learned to actually start using them properly. Before this I relied on route memorisation, and if I forgot a code I was just fucked because I didn't know it was possible to figure them out from context.

In conclusion, Tim is definitely great at his job and deserves a kiss on the lips from me as a reward.

There's so much great stuff here. What happens if there's two statements on the same day? That just never happens? Like, in the entire history of the Institute? How? Why not? Is the Eye on a diet or something? There's definitely instances later in the series where Jon takes more than one live statement in a single day. Does he not allocate them numbers?

This would also imply that the Research department takes, at most, seven new statements a week (both real and fake). That's ridiculous. Although it might explain why there seems to be an inconsistent amount of follow-up for each statement before it arrives at the Archives. If there are so few coming through, looking into them is probably not the main focus of the department. It might even be an afterthought, 'If we have spare time, we might spend Friday looking into a few statements' kind of a job, not something that is prioritised.

Did Gertrude come up with this system? She could have inherited it from the previous Archivist, but it does line up with her policy of making the Archives deliberately disorganised and difficult to extract information from. If she did implement this date system, then that means at some point she went back through every single statement in the Archives (all of them, not just the real ones) and re-numbered them all. Fuck off.

I can see why Jon is not keen to fix her batshit system and implement a new one. Although obviously that's what he should be doing (you could start by using a more efficient date system on new statements and temporarily running both systems at once until you've updated the historical statements) but it would be a massive undertaking and I do not blame Jon at all for not prioritising it given the state of the Archive and also the fact that monsters are real and after him, specifically.

First 'good lord' of the series?? This epsiode is giving us so much.

Also... *raises hand sheepishly* it was me. I complained about that one. I'm sorry Jon.

Uh oh, Tim's cheery demeanor is wearing thin and Jon is boiling over!

It's good to get a reminder that the statements we are hearing are only a small number of the total 'mountain' that the team are working on, and that they are distinct because they can only be recorded to tape. Also seeing how Jon's attitude towards that has changed since Mag 1 is great. He was so composed and in control back then! Now just the reminder that he needs to read the bad statments is enough to have him freaking out.

Tim calming the Archivist down like he's a spooked horse is great, the fact that it works is even better.

And thank you Jon for confirming what was obvious but unspoken last time. Reading the statements isn't just an opportunity for him to practice his theatrics, they take an actual toll on him and are exhausting and stressful to deal with, to the point at which he refuses to return to them even for minor corrections.

And Elias is supplying the Archives with extra entinguishers, literally the least he could possibly do. From memory Jon even had to ask for them after Sasha's statement, Elias didn't do this on his own initiative. Still, it does imply that he wants the Archival staff to have at least a chance of surviving? Probably because it would be boring and annoying to watch them all just die immediately and have to start over with a new team, but I guess it's better than nothing?

Fucking hell, I will never be able to hear that line again without imagining Tim getting horny over Martin sticking his tongue out for him. This fandom ruins everything (affectionate).

I definitely think that even with his understandable aversion to returning to the bad statements, Jon is being influenced by the Eye here. It doesn't want to be fed the same stale statements that the Archivist already gave it!

But, attitude aside, Jon's not wrong. Re-recording would be a waste of time, and a note in the file outlining the disrepency between the 'digital' and hardcopy versions should be adequate.

There, I defended him once, that makes up for dragging him for the Carla/Clara issue. Now we're square again.

#a mag a day #reeah reacts to tma #tim stoker #mag 33

[medig]

Pause for Station Identification

In light of our first story, "A Tale of Woe", now being 25 episodes, the following is a summary of what the characters have been up to until now. These were originally written for the other platform. Technically this is spoilers, but not much has actually happened that could get spoiled.

Claire

[Claire in her new "favorite" outfit]

["Corporate Claire", file photo from shortly before her admission to the hospital]

She is 23 years old and worked a low level office job (possibly a receptionist or a Human Resources functionary) until all her recent troubles began. She currently is involuntarily held in a secure mental health facility, possibly by mistake. She is quiet, shy, and nervous about anyone including doctors invading her privacy and her body. Her exact reasons for being there are unknown but we do know her psychiatrist has prescribed a deliberate program of ensuring that medical personnel invade the privacy of Claire’s body quite frequently. She is given daily rectal temperatures and her psych medications are administered as suppositories rather than pills. There is no medical reason for doing this, it is being done purely for the psychological effect. She also receives complete weekly physical examinations and enemas as needed for constipation, which she frequently suffers from. Claire is humiliated by these treatments.

Unlike most patients, Claire does not have "panty privileges". The fact that the hospital even has a name for this concept, shows what kind of a place it is. Claire must always wear hospital gowns - never her own clothes, not even pajamas, with nothing at all on under it. Most patients are allowed to wear pajamas and bathrobes, this is a form of "therapy" reserved for certain special patients.

Please keep poor Claire in your thoughts and prayers.

Mystique

[Mystique is allowed to wear a bathrobe, when she's been good]

[File photo, undated, from sometime before admission]

This one calls herself "Myst", short for "Mystique", as in the X-Men character. Her legal name is Misty. She is Claire's only friend in the mental hospital, and is around the same age. We also do not know the exact circumstances of her arrival, but before being sent here she was a PhD student studying psychology. Left to her own devices she dresses in a punk-goth-alternative style and presents an image of toughness. In the hospital, her wardrobe is considerably more limited though she still is allowed to use her own cosmetics products. When she first arrived, she was very ill behaved and often had to be restrained by the staff. She has somewhat calmed down, especially now that she has taken on a protective role with respect to poor Claire.

When she arrived she had a phobia of injections, and the staff often had to use force to get them into her. Of course, being the kind of place it is, the hospital gives all of her medications as injections, even those that are normally oral. She has since gotten used to it, but she still plays this up for the staff to keep them busy.

She has some experience in the kink world and this combined with her interest in psychology has her (with some justification) convinced that almost everything the hospital does to her and the other patients is just the sexual sadism of the doctors running unchecked. She is, however, not above engaging in secretive bdsm play (in both top and bottom roles) with the staff in exchange for favors and special treatment, though the amount of leverage she actually gained this way is pretty small. Most especially, she has not succeeded in using it to obtain release from the hospital.

Myst claims to be from a "rich" family, though she appears to be estranged from them. In spite of this, she occasionally speaks in some unidentified blue collar American dialect. We can only assume this is a deliberate affectation by her.

Claire's Doctor

This doctor’s name is being withheld to avoid offending any real doctors of the same name. There are many doctors involved in the hospital where Claire and Mystique are imprisoned, but he is the one most directly in charge of their treatment. He is an arrogant and cruel man who takes advantage of the power he holds over his patients, in particular the young, attractive, female patients. He is currently in a highly unethical, illegal, and coercive “relationship” with Mystique that she clearly regards as transactional. It’s unclear what benefits she receives from it, personally, though she has been seen to use whatever limited influence it affords her to slightly lower Claire’s sufferings. The doctor strongly desires to have the same sort of relationship with Claire, who refuses to speak to him at all. Claire is quite scared of him, while Mystique regards him more with disdain and contempt than fear. He is prone to fits of tyrannical rage over Claire’s refusals. In spite of his ridiculous nature, he remains a serious problem for his patients as he seemingly has arbitrary power to prescribe unhelpful and unnecessary and possibly harmful “therapies” such as restricting Claire’s diet in a manner designed to promote constipation (to provide a pretext for frequent enemas). The other doctors, nurses, and assorted hospital employees are either too checked out to notice his antics, or participate in them with varying degrees of pleasure, indicative of a mostly corrupt institution of which this individual is only one part.

Liz

Liz is in her mid 30s, works as a software engineer, and is Claire’s older (half) sister. With Claire’s parents both deceased, Liz serves as the next of kin with respect Claire’s hospitalization. Liz is blissfully unaware of what kind of a place her sister is really being held in, sincerely believing that Claire is receiving competent care for serious mental health issues. When she visits Claire in the hospital, the staff put on a sort of Potemkin village of a clean, orderly environment to fool the public and patients’ families. The hospital has obvious motivation to keep this delusion going, but Claire is also afraid to tell her anything, sure that no one would believe the things that happen in here. Liz is a sci fi and fantasy reader. She is somewhat clumsy but likes to exercise a lot, resulting in occasional injuries requiring casts and/or crutches, as seen in this file photo.

Mary

Mary is Claire's ancestor who was born in 1875 and may have been imprisoned in the same hospital for a period in the 1890s. We don't know much about her. She is seen in flashbacks and dreams that Claire experiences, in which she temporarily shifts into Mary's time. Claire firmly believes these experiences to be real, and is convinced that learning more about Mary will help her to leave the hospital.

Julie and Mike

Seen in flashbacks, Julie was Claire's mother who died when Claire was 8 years old, along with Claire's father, Mike. Julie was an avid cosplayer and video gamer in the mid 1990's. In 1998 she married the significantly older man Mike, thus becoming Liz's stepmother. Based on some of her costume choices we assume that she named her daughter Claire after the Resident Evil series character.

Biscuit Junior

He is a beagle that belongs to Liz, Claire, or both. He is allowed to visit in the hospital.

Susan and Becky

Myst has these two sisters, twins, that may be about 29 years old. They have done nothing in this story so far, this is just to remind you of their existence in case they show up. They are seen here in file photos of their own medical exams. Don't ask how we got them.

Myst does not seem to get along with her family, as evidenced by the fact that none of them have attempted to visit her in the hospital during the time of the story. She has mentioned her parents not believing her when she tried to tell them about the abuse she experiences. The twins may share this delusion, or they may not have even been told about it.

#meta post #multi part fic #ai girl #ai woman #ai generated #hospital gown

[piermanwalter]

The Collectors Weekly antique enthusiast website got a sleek modern new update. In the process, all old comments on articles were deleted. Although this is another ember in the ever-burning library, I think at least a few good things came out of it because old Collectors Weekly comment sections were among the most viciously toxic places on the internet.

The background miasma of classist elitism combined with what seemed like at least 20% of users solely there for Nazi memorabilia needs no elaboration, but there were two specific comment section arguments that were so bad I still remember them.

There was an article by a man who travelled the world to collect gorgeously ornate opium smoking paraphernalia who became so dedicated to recreating the long-forgotten uses of his cryptic intricate little devices that he became addicted to opium and destroyed his health. In the comments, someone said something along the lines of, "You ruined your life for nothing. You have done no original research. You have contributed nothing to collective human knowledge. There is extensive research already being done on the pharmacological effects of specific opiates on receptors. It is insulting that you believe your research is at all worth reading." And then people started dogpiling this person like, "You missed the entire point of the article. It's not just about the medical effects of opium, it's about the emotional addiction of smoking surrounded by beautiful objects in a luxurious lounge and the feeling of uncovering something old and forgotten. It's funny how you say the author contributed no knowledge, but I learned a lot about history and culture from this article, things it seems you have no concept of." And then the first person was like, "I am a licensed pharmacologist currently doing PhD research on antibody binding patterns. The state of knowledge here is so tragic that you don't know how much you don't know." And then people were like, "What do antibodies have to do with anything in the article? It sounds like you're just here to brag about your degree. It doesn't matter how much you know about medicine. This article isn't about that." It went on for hundreds of comments with the first poster flatly refusing to accept that any non-medical-researcher had anything to contribute, or that cultural studies had any worth to human society. I think I stopped reading when someone said the first poster deserved to get murdered by an opiate addict robbing their pharmacy. There was an article featuring an interview with a lady who had a website where she experimentally recreated those insanely shitass 50s recipes created by advertisers to sell as much mayo and shortening as humanly possible. The entire comments section was filled with, "You mean like Lileks Gallery of Regrettable Food?" "James Lileks did it first." "Lileks ripoff. Read the original" with the occasional "All Lileks does is curate and commentate ads. She actually makes and eats these recipes." Apparently a vast majority of this article's audience read the title and first few words and then the compulsion to castigate a stupid, lazy, lying, pretentious, self-aggrandising, unskilled, over-praised WOMAN was so powerful that all their brains shut down before they could visually parse the modern real life photos of these foods and realise James Lileks doesn't have a full monopoly on discussing this era of American history online. Some commenters went on her website, where you'd think seeing actual step-by-step photos of these recipes and taste tester reactions would get it through their heads that she and Lileks were in fact doing very different things, but they continued calling her a lazy ripoff on her own site.

#collectors weekly #antiquing #nazi #drugs #graphic injuries #food #misogyny #history #these tags are atrocious

[mythologeekwriter]

God this is horrifying

[Note: I am not copying the whole of these articles, please do read them, I'm just sharing the bits that I think illustrate why you should in fact read them.]

Five-point plan to cut UK immigration raises fears of more NHS staff shortages | Immigration and asylum | The Guardian

Cleverly told MPs on Monday that “migration is far too high and needs to come down … enough is enough”. He added: “Today I can announce that we will go even further than those provisions already in place, with a five-point plan to further curb immigration abuses that will deliver the biggest ever reduction in net migration. “In total, this package, plus our reduction in student dependants, will mean about 300,000 fewer people will come in future years than have come to the UK last year.” Along with raising the salary threshold and scrapping the “shortage occupation list”, Cleverly announced that social care workers would no longer be allowed to bring their dependants when they came to work in the UK. He also said people living in the UK – including British citizens – would now be allowed to sponsor family members to move to the UK only if the person living in the UK earned £38,700, up from £18,600 currently. Finally, the government is asking the Migration Advisory Committee to review the rules for those who have completed undergraduate degrees in the UK. A spokesperson for Downing Street called the package “the biggest clampdown on legal migration ever”. They added: “We believe this is a package which will enable us to significantly reduce numbers whilst achieving economic growth.” It forms one part of a two-part plan to reduce the numbers of people coming into Britain legally and illegally. This week Cleverly is likely to fly to Kigali to sign a new asylum treaty with Rwanda, with ministers ready to bring forward new legislation in an effort to finally kickstart the government’s Rwanda plan.

Families face being split up by UK plan to cut legal migration, lawyers say | Migration | The Guardian

Data suggests this could make it impossible for between 60 and 70% of workers to bring their family into the UK. The crackdown has caused concern among some senior Tory MPs. Alicia Kearns, the chair of the foreign affairs select committee, said on Tuesday she was worried the package as a whole risked dividing families. She told LBC: “It risks being very unconservative”. Madeleine Sumption, the director of the Migration Observatory at the University of Oxford, said: “This is definitely completely different to what any other high income country does.” Under the new rules, someone will be able to bring a family member into the country if they earn £38,700 year. If the partner is already in the UK, both people’s incomes will be taken into account. If someone does not qualify under those rules, they will still be allowed to bring in family members if they have sufficient savings. Under current rules that figure is £62,500, but the government is consulting over whether to increase it.

Lawyers and applicants say, however, that it has led to distress and confusion, with many families already in the process of applying for visas now unsure of what the changes will mean for them. Kelly Robinson, an American PhD student living in Norwich with her partner, Owen Sennitt, had applied for her spousal visa last week, confident Sennitt’s job as a local journalist would be enough to qualify for it. Now she believes she may have to return to the US after eight years living in Britain. “It is a real shock,” she said. “The entire life we have built is being taken away from us overnight.” Nick Gore, a partner at Carter Thomas solicitors, said: “This is devastating for many people that just about meet the existing financial requirements. There is a huge spectrum of people who are affected – some are on minimum wage jobs, others have started their own businesses. This will split families up.”

Thanks to James Cleverly, I may never live in the same country as my kids again | Claire Armitstead | The Guardian

When I mentioned their predicament to a lawyer friend he was dismissive, saying that middle-class families always found a way round these problems. Other friends suggested we remortgage our house to raise the £62,500 capital that was the alternative route to a spousal visa. But it would have to have been in their bank account for a minimum of six months before they even reapplied; this was time their soaring stress levels meant they didn’t have. And anyway, they wanted to pay their own way. The Home Office said any change to the capital threshold would be announced in due course. At the old salary rate, they probably would eventually have worked something out, but at the new one there is no chance. Their relationship will always be based on them both working, and while their combined income would very probably exceed £38,700 a year, neither is going to make that much on their own. My eldest and his partner are now happily settled, so wouldn’t want to move back anyway. The sort of social care work she does is more highly valued in Spain. Meanwhile, my Australian daughter-in-law is in the crazy bind facing citizens of so many of the UK’s former colonies: expected to bend the knee to the monarch of a British state that doesn’t want them. Australia asks the foreign partners of its citizens only to prove their relationship is genuine.

#uk politics #Juno talks

[beholdme]

ao3 first lines - dreamling edition

rules: post the first lines of your last 10 fics posted to ao3. if you have less than 10 fics posted, post the first lines of all your fics.

if you dream, I hope it will be of me

On a day in November, much like any other gloomy autumn afternoon, Hob Gadling stands in front of a lecture hall of undergraduates and feels the world change. His students remain much the same as all the classes before them, the usual range of keen interest through abject boredom, a sea of faces gazing down at him expectantly.  The difference comes from outside the school, outside of London, perhaps outside the world itself. He does not know what it is or where it originated, but he understands, indelibly, at the core of himself, that nothing will ever be the same again. 

between the marble and the stars

Jessamy has been Dream of the Endless’s raven for untold centuries. She saw him through many things, was at his side always, as constant and as loyal as the sunrise. And her favourite duty was to accompany her liege to his centennial meeting with the mortal Hob Gadling. Jessamy hadn’t paid much attention that first time, when Death blessed the would-be immortal with long life and youth, but she did enjoy the energy in Dream’s step as he returned to the Dreaming that night. A hundred years later, their meeting had filled Lord Morpheus with buoyancy for decades before his more typical stern melancholy descended back upon him. 

midday moon, midnight kiss

From the moment Dream steps into the New Inn and resumes his association with Hob Gadling, his immortal friend makes a habit of kissing him unexpectedly. 

through the shatter of glass

Jessamy is pleased to accompany her master on many more visits to Hob Gadling after their meeting in the Dreaming in 1889. Gone is their centennial stipulation, left in the ashes of their disagreement, and a new regime reigns between the dream lord and his beloved immortal. 

the poetry between stars

Hob Gadling always finds an excellent reason to get out of bed in the morning. Today it’s this plastic Christmas tree, blinking with colored lights and a hodgepodge of ornaments he’d accumulated over the years. The Gilded Cup, New Haven’s only coffee shop, is decorated much the same. Chairs scooped up at estate sales, ceramic mugs from every city he’s ever visited—and that his regulars have visited, for that matter—and hand sewn curtains from women in the village who have adopted him as their surrogate son.

How to Win a Fucking Bet, by Hob Gadling, PhD

Hob Gadling is a very decisive man.  He has, in fact, got over six hundred years of life history to prove it.  His single greatest (or single stupidest, depending on your perspective) decision, was deciding to love Dream of the Endless.  In his defence, when he decided to fall in love, all he knew about Dream was that he has a great arse and an exceptionally tiny, opinionated mouth. And once the love was happening, he dedicated himself to it with all the typical fervour of a man who wants to live forever. Which is to say, quite a lot. 

across the infinite march of time

Hob's lover is unusually clingy. And that's really saying something, considering his typical possessiveness. 

chasing our ruin

There’s something about the man across the pub.  Dream hasn’t been able to take his eyes off him all night, and that–that is new for him. He’s not used to anyone real holding his attention for more than a few minutes unless he’s being pursued. Usually, he’s more interested in those characters he uncovers in his art, which sometimes feel more like real people to him than the phantoms who move through the world around him. 

glow

Hob Gadling stands and waits.  The rest of his village mills around him, every inhabitant congregated and breathless with anticipation. Small houses of grey stone stand sentinel at their back, as lasting and immovable as the great forest before them, from whence they are sustained. There is no need for farming or commerce when the forest provides for every need, great and small.  And the cost is so very little. Once a century, their god emerges from the wood and claims just one soul to take to the circles of stone and make their covenant anew. 

all the light we cannot see

It is not so very obvious, in the beginning. That they’re soulmates, that is. 

Inadvisable Masturbatory Practices, by Hob Gadling, PhD

“Brother, I stand in my gallery and hold your sig–” “Come through, sister mine.” 

I cheated and did 11. Oh well >:)

tagging @ml-nolan @moorishflower @starrypawz and @beatnikfreakiswriting anyone else who wants to!

#tag game #first lines #dreamling #the sandman