#selfishness one could say!

[pasdetrois]

Rebecca (1940, dir Alfred Hitchcock) // Vievee Francis, "Apologia" (Excerpt) // Daphne du Maurier, Rebecca

#THIS WAS THE POEM BTW. that no one asked for but I am offering regardless <3 <3 #''SHE LOOKED ALMOST TRIUMPHANT'' ! #rebecca #just gonna tag this under #web weaving #for organizational purpose #has anyone else been ruminating over this scene for years or has it just been me #she is constantly reminded of how different she is from rebecca (wrt beauty wit boldness etc etc) #but in retrospect with this confession rebecca's negatively perceived traits such as selfishness #are intended to be the unspoken additional differences maxim et al see between them #but then she hears maxim's confession and as the shock wears away-- she feels something akin to giddiness #selfishness one could say! #a triumph at last--right there in the chamber. it does feel like she's echoing rebecca a bit #(even if it is a hollow triumph imo) #and do I even need to go into fontaine's acting here. just so good #rebecca is really one of the most interesting iterations of the bluebeard tale #the last wife does still die in a sense. but it is alongside her bluebeard as a pair of unmoored ghosts #while the story remains forever enclosed in the first dead wife's fist #I'm now thinking about that rebecca fanfiction I wrote as a teenager where the first and second wife meet #and maxim just wasn't there lmao. shows my priorities #anyway i'm forever fascinated by both ladies in this story goodnight and thank you

[caeslxys]

I’ve mentioned this elsewhere but it feels relevant again in light of the most recent episode. Something that’s really fascinating to me about Orym’s grief in comparison to the rest of the hells’ grief is that his is the youngest/most fresh and because of that tends to be the most volatile when it is triggered (aside from FCG, who was two and obviously The Most volatile when triggered.)

As in: prior to the attack on Zephrah, Orym was leading a normal, happy, casual life! with family who loved him and still do! Grief was something that was inflicted upon him via Ludinus’ machinations, whereas with characters like Imogen or Ashton, grief has been the background tapestry of their entire lives. And I think that shows in how the rest of them are largely able to, if not see past completely (Imogen/Laudna/Chetney) then at least temper/direct their vitriol or grief (Ashton/Fearne/Chetney again) to where it is most effective. (There is a glaring reason, for example, that Imogen scolded Orym for the way he reacted to Liliana and not Ashton. Because Ashton’s anger was directed in a way that was ultimately protective of Imogen—most effective—and Orym’s was founded solely in his personal grief.)

He wants Imogen to have her mom and he wants Lilliana to be salvageable for Imogen because he loves Imogen. But his love for the people in his present actively and consistently tend to conflict with the love he has for the people in his past. They are in a constant battle and Orym—he cannot fathom losing either of them.

(Or, to that point, recognize that allowing empathy to take root in him for the enemy isn't losing one of them.)

It is deeply poignant, then, that Orym’s grief is symbolized by both a sword and shield. It is something he wields as a blade when he feels his philosophy being threatened by certain conversational threads (as he believes it is one of the only things he has left of Will and Derrig, and is therefore desperately clinging onto with both bloody hands even if it makes him, occasionally, a hypocrite), but also something he can use in defense of the people he presently loves—if that provocative, blade-grief side of him does not push them—or himself—away first.

(it won’t—he is as loved by the hells as he loves them. he just needs to—as laudna so beautifully said—say and hear it more often.)

#critical role #cr spoilers #bells hells #orym of the air ashari #cr meta #imogen temult #ashton greymoore #liliana temult #this is genuinely completely written in good faith as someone who loves orym #but is also about orym and so will inevitably end up being completely misconstrued and made into discourse. alas #I could talk about how Orym’s unwillingness to allow the hells to actually finish/come to a solid conclusion on Philosophy Talk #is directly connected to one of the largest criticisms of c3 (that they are constantly having these conversations) #all day. alas. engaging with orym’s flaws tends to make people upset #it is ESP prevelant when he walks off after exclaiming ‘they (vangaurd) are NOT right’ #which was not only never said but wasn’t even what they were talking about #he even admits as much to imogen like ten minutes later! that he is incapable of viewing it objectively #which is 100% justifiable and understandable but simultaneously does not make his grief alone the most important perspective in the world #also bc i fear ppl will play semantics on my tags yes the line ‘i hope she’s right’ was said but it was from ASHTON #who does not believe they are at all and wasn’t saying they actively WERE right. orym just heard something to latch onto and ran with it #ultimately there is a reason orym only admitted that he was struggling when he had stepped away to talk to dorian #who has not been around and thusly has not changed once n orym's eyes #and it isn't that the hells never check in or care. they do. they have several times over #it is dishonest to say they haven't #the actual reason is that all of this is something He Is Aware Of. he doesn't mention it bc he KNOWS it's hypocritical and selfish #he says as much! #EXHALES. @ MY OWN BRAIN CAN WE THINK ABT MOG AGAIN. FYRA RAI EVEN. FOR ME. #posting this literally at 8 in the morning so I can get my thoughts out of my brain but also attempt to immediately make this post invisibl

[howcouldtheyletmebeanadult]

So...

holy shit this conversation, i have. so many thoughts.

i'm like, 80% sonic is gonna face some kind of betrayal from either dread or nine

#nine because he is the most important variant obviously so his betrayal would hit harder #also because he wanted to use a shard to create his own perfect world. and sonic needs them to fix his #also also because it's likely fixing sonic's world would make the shatterverse dissappear #and with nine having researched the shards i find it likely he could be the one to find out about the consecuences of fixing the cristal #and i doubt he would be a fan of the whole dissapearing to instead become a part of someone else thing #plus he was the one named during the conversation about the people from the shatterspaces #and in the trailer for s2 we had images of him implying he would meet the other tails #i'm not saying he's gnna be EVIL but he might be against sonic at some point #and in the case of dread #WE the audience know he's selfish and only cares about himself and his treasure #but neither his crew nor sonic found out about that #i find it unlikely they would just let him get away with using people like that #so at some point he's gonna have to do something that outs him as the ruthless person he is #plus he is OBSESSED with his shard. why would he let sonic keep it #we know the council gets hold of his shard at some point #so maybe they loose it on their first appearaence this “season” and then he cooperates to get his shard back #but when the moment comes to let sonic have it (after recovering the shard) he steals it or something #sonic prime #sonic prime season 2 #sonic prime spoilers #sonic prime season2 #sonic prime s2

[zeb-z]

“Red team was so selfish looking past the cursed team like that” listen man they were thinking about it often, and had evidence they were cursed too. They were convinced they were cursed too. Bad (with Pierre’s help I’ll be honest) singlehandedly destroyed any sort of civil relations and good faith between the two teams and this shot Blue in the foot when they tried to make the case about them being cursed last minute, about trying to rig it in the cursed teams favor.

There was never a cursed team in the first place, it was all a tactic to build paranoia and that feeling of betrayal and to get them to tear eachother a part. And it worked super well! At the end, neither would listen to the other about their evidence, not with an honest open ear, not with the willingness to think the other team could be cursed. It’s not a case of ‘Red just refused to listen because they wanted to win more than they cared’ they thought they were cursed too - if they were selfish, then so were Blue in the same way.

Every time Red had tried to talk first early on, it was met with extreme violence - and with Bad consistently proving he’ll play dirty to win, they didn’t trust Blue enough to listen to them in the later game. Maybe they should have listened then. Maybe Blue have listened earlier. The game worked as intended to set them against eachother.

#link is to another post I made back when they were debating about the cursed teams in purgatory and why red couldn’t trust blue and blue #couldn’t believe red. they were both stuck #and bless Tubbo he tried. he did try. but he was just as convinced he was right as Phil at the end. it was about convincing one another #more than it was about coming together and piecing together the evidence. yknow what I mean? they all cared about it but because of tension #and they also could not trust blue. which sucks because that’s hardly Tubbo’s fault but yknow #I dunno. it’s not simple like that. it’s not a case of red blowing it off being selfish not caring. they also thought they were cursed #AGAIN I’ll say it again bad burning bridges fucked a lot of them over for when diplomacy had to win because there could not be benefit of #the doubt or good faith or any sort of trust #it’s not just cut and dry red wanted to win more or blue wanted to win more. it was complicated and had way more factors #red thought they were cursed too!! they had solid evidence for this too!! #and like. again it’s a case of both parties kinda suck purgatory sucked it was always going to be like that because the game worked as #intended #idk. blue should have listened to red early on. red should have listened to blue later on. they were never going to do that on either side #idk from Tina’s pov it’s understandable why she said what she said. but knowing the others pov and what actually went down that’s not what #happened at all yknow? #they’re all gonna be feeling the effects of ‘we killed and betrayed eachother for two weeks’ for a while to come #mcyt #qsmp #qsmp purgatory #z speaks

[v-a-l]

My favourite detail in OOTP is when Harry finds Sirius at the dining hall Crookshanks is curled up in his lap. Like he’s surrounded by people screaming at him about “Dumbledore’s instructions”, not allowed to go outside cause the ministry and Death Eaters are gunning for him, he’s being called irresponsible and reckless and he’s brushing it all aside cause boy does he know how to deal with people screaming at him in this house, any regardless: he’s still got Crookshanks. He’s got Buckbeak and they remain Sirius’ first and last line of defence

Harry felt something brush against his knees and started, but it was only Crookshanks, Hermione’s bandy-legged ginger cat, who wound himself once around Harry’s legs, purring, then jumped onto Sirius’s lap and curled up. Sirius scratched him absentmindedly behind the ears as he turned, still grim-faced, to Harry.

Harry did not mention his vague suspicions to Sirius, whose cheerfulness was evaporating fast now that Christmas was over. As the date of their departure back to Hogwarts drew nearer, he became more and more prone to what Mrs. Weasley called ���fits of the sullens,” in which he would become taciturn and grumpy, often withdrawing to Buckbeak’s room for hours at a time. His gloom seeped through the house, oozing under doorways like some noxious gas, so that all of them became infected by it.

#Sirius Black #one day I’ll write a thesis about the constant ableist language used to address Sirius in OOTP #one day we’ll talk about JKR passing judgement on trauma and coping with it through fifteen year old Hermione #one day I’ll talk about how OOTP is so severely unempathetic to Sirius #It’ll forever remain ridiculous to me that Sirius of all people is the story’s biggest example of tell don’t show. he’s not irresponsible #he’s not selfish #yet we’re told so #again and again #by Molly and Hermione #and it’s consistently in a patronising arrogant way from people who could not even hope to understand what he’s been through #I think it’s particularly telling that no one offers to HELP Sirius. to do anything. in OOTP #JKR’s ableism in her language and connotations with the way people speak of Sirius says So Much #her tell don’t show works consistently against her in that the narrative validates Sirius. #in the end he is right. but it doesn’t matter anymore cause he’s dead

[anotherpapercut]

the girlbossification of ruth bader ginsburg has to be one of the most just plain annoying aspects of white liberal feminism. like it's not as actively harmful as a lot of other shit obviously. but it is soooooo annoying. if I never see another notorious rbg tote bag as long as I live it will be too soon

#her opinions and amicus' in many cases were iconic! not denying that certainly. she is absolutely AMONG the better justices in us history #HOWEVER her record on policing/the carceral system is very bad! genuinely bad! #and she just would not hold the conservative justices accountable. her and kagan are way too placating #and then she refused to retire in 2009 when there was a sitting democratic president and a fucking DEMOCRATIC SUPER MAJORITY #saying basically that no one else could do the job as well as her which is insane because sotomayor and KBJ literally are better :/ #its also unbelievably conceited and just incredibly fucking selfish to knowingly doom the country because you think youre hot shit #started ranting abt this at work bc literally any talk even adjacent to the supreme court will set me off abt all of us court history #and my coworker was like 'well i dont think its very fair that she had to have that much riding on her decision to retire' #it literally is fair because that is the fucking job that she signed up for. this has literally always been how it fucking works #its a lifetime appointment. you either die unexpectedly or retire strategically #she accepted a position in which the entire country would depend on her but its not fair for the entire country to depend on her??? #bullshit #im not fucking buying it. she did this knowing roe would likely be struck down as a result #she should absolutely be held accountable for that lmfao. you can know that she had a hand in a lot of great decisions for this country #while also knowing that she did a fucked up and extremely selfish thing

[splickedylit]

i saw you were reposting some of the SU videos you had made and i was wondering if you could repost the Sky Full Of Song one? it was one of my favorite edits ever and i had been wondering what had happened to it/if it had been copyright claimed

Sky Full of Diamond Song

You heard something--from the sky, a sound… a song?

man, I didn't even know this one had gotten blocked, haha. QuQ Here you go, anon!

#Steven Universe #Splickedyvids #SU #Rose Quartz #Pink Diamond #Pearl (SU) #Amethyst (SU) #Garnet (SU) #Greg Universe #I still always think ''Be careful oh my Diamond'' when she says ''Be careful oh my darling'' #I do really like this one #a meditation on the nature of Pink running away and why.... 'i'm so tired now' and then 'leave me where I lie' (aka: in my son) #it's escapist! it's selfish! it's also a really understandable way for a character arc to progress anyway here's this lol #VERY proud of the various refrains of 'I want you so badly but you could be anyone' haha #such a theme in her relationships agh #man I wish tumblr didn't always manage to like just slightly mess up my timing

[astarlightmonbebe]

the whole point being that taeoh, for all his intelligence and strategies, might still have made it to kangoh, but he would never have a chance to actually grab power without using inha’s ‘insider’ status, which inha seems to be ‘realizing’ these episodes. because at the end of the day, taeoh is still kangoh’s tool. he has no authority. he’s something for the chairman to use, never more than that.

#star stumbles #kdrama #the impossible heir #royal loader #star shots #ep 6 #could say more but what i’m thinking about is the negotiation #and inha saying he has the actual authority and undermining taeoh #‘he’s different than us…’ #once again highlighting that one crucial difference between our three leads #who are all manipulative desperate selfish people #but while inha just wants the recognition and ownership #taeoh and hyewon both wanted no needed to escape their situations and level up #their desperation directly relates to financial stability which is one of the crucial differences - inha had money even without love and #they had no money and no love #but also we can see inha’s true colors and the realization that he would do anything to just get what he wants #and not necessarily saying the other two are any different #they’re all in the game to get what they want even if at the cost of each other #but you can’t deny the playing field was different to begin with #and also the audacity of inha to be like this when taeoh is the one reason he’s able to enter the game with his dad anyways…

[fennel-tea]

That Awful OTP Meme, or: my Binah/Hod manifesto

I originally posted this on twitter but while this is mostly tongue-in-cheek I actually have a lot of thoughts on these two that are generally summarized by [god DAMN I love the interplay of two people who are varying degrees of Terrible]

or just, like, a Hannigram meme.

#fennelart #project moon #binah/hod #lobotomy corporation #lobotomy corporation spoilers #the thing is that binah has never had regrets. binah has never had the time or desire to let herself have regrets #hod on the other hand is Full of them. she is someone who is trying very hard to be a good person #but is going at it from an entirely selfish direction (circa lobcorp) and just ends up completely sucking anyway #which is honestly part of her appeal to me? #i like the idea of them picking each other apart which is a thing that is extremely one sided at first because. it’s Binah #but even binah is still human albeit an extremely fucked up one and I think if hod manages to poke her head out of her own issues she could #start to see where the lines are #also she (binah) is locked in a basement and bored as shit and will take anything remotely interesting at this point #hence where I put her on the devoted scale versus indifferent #could you call it romance? #it’s not healthy in the slightest but no ship with binah involved is lmao #anyway this whole essay in the tags is mostly to say I’m proud of myself for the black damage joke lmao #periodic black damage and a -50% debuff to your stats. its the give and take you know how it is #shoutouts to the person writing binah/hod in the ao3 tag like two years ago you thoroughly infected my brain

[incorrectskyrimquotes]

sidenote I'm not sure many elder scrolls fanfiction writers know what mead or wine does to a mf

#one of my faves. ever. #was that the dragonborn was aware of bethesda and that they were in a game #they told lydia. they told m'iaq who could only say #''m'aiq was not cursed by the gods of the gods to only lie.'' #which. god. is so interesting to me. imagine if the only words you could give was to lie #anyways im wine drunk and i want everyone to love Ralof **almost** as much as i do. #selfish desire: i want to be The Ralof Expert™ #i love ralof more than anyone.

[hybridkilljoys]

I've been an absolute emotional wreck since last night due to my narcissist father making me feel less than human so can i..........ask for some reassurance that i'm not an absolute failure of a human being

or pictures of your cats, that would help a lot too

#its been months of dealing with his abuse and last night it left me feeling worse than ever and i am just #really exhausted and mentally broken rn #and i hate asking for reassurance because I always feel like a bother and I should just deal with shit myself until it passes #but when i say last night was bad it was bad and i feel like i am not even meant to be alive that is how that man made me feel #so i just wanna be selfish this one time #and ask for spare kindness because i could really use it right now because my feelings arent going away #no matter how hard im trying to distract myself today and i dont have the strenght to stay like this for a week or more #so yeah #gomen for rambling in the tags im just really #idfk embarrassed and ashamed i dont like asking for help i feel dumb even tho i know its not dumb but yeah #txt

[m4gp13]

Thinkin about the fact that Luke has literally never been able to live for himself. He had to take care of his sick mother while being terrified of her, then he had to take care of Annabeth and Thalia, then he had a whole cabin of little siblings to look after and even after he left camp he still had to run the demigod spect of the titan army and ultimately gave up his own identity so Kronos could expand his power. At every point in his life he was in a caretaker role. The only thing he really did for himself without the thought of looking after someone else was leaving home and dying by his own hand.

#pjo #percy jackson #luke castellan #you could also say leaving camp was a decision he made for himself #but either way #the only selfish choices he got to make #where the ones where he was leaving everything behind #to pursue his own happiness #and it didn't work once #(that we know of) #(I really hope we find out what happened to him after his death in TSATS)

[xhanisai]

I am so, SO happy that I'm seeing more people on twitter defending Alya and talking about how SOME people have done Marinette dirty in s5 and how said snakey characters continue to get their feet kissed by the fandom and have their actions blamed on "bad writing uwu"

There is a reason why the only characters I give a shit about are Marinette, Adrien, Alya, Nino, Tom, Sabine and kwamis atm

Many people need to understand that their fave characters aren't affected by "bad writing". They're just shit people in general sometimes lol.

#delete later #i will not put this in the main tags #i havent had the chance to talk to anyone about this but I'm so glad to see that I'm not alone with the same thought process #all i will say is that if I had a secret where if exposed could put myself and all my loved ones in danger #and someone i assumed was a good friend finds out #and instead of talking to me about it #they go blabbing to someone who put me and my loved ones in immediate danger cos of their selfish misguided whims and allowed the enemy to #get the upper hand over us #WE WOULD NO LONGER BE FRIENDS #I WOULD CUT THEM OUT OF MY LIFE #FUCK THAT SHIT #HIGHEST LEVEL OF BETRAYAL #and if i were to finally get with the boy I loved for a loooong time #only for said friend to constantly bitch about how he won't do anything and and being sour about it #and choosing to believe some random bitch who lied about me and using said lies to point fingers at me to justify why I shouldn't be with #the boy #yeah man that's one SHITE friend #YOU CANNOT CHANGE MY MIND #i have actually been STEAMING about this for a little while since s5 ended #obviously if you connect the pieces then congrats well done #this isn't to attack anyone who stans these characters I really despise now #in fact i don't care if you love these characters or not #i am just so tired of seeing this hypocritical dumbass fandom constantly undermine alya and paint her as a bad person #when she's been the BESTEST friend she could have ever been DESPITE her flaws and mistakes #all whilst hyping up ALL THE CHARACTERS WHO HAVE DONE MARINETTE DIRTY ONE WAY OR ANOTHER #god i have been so stupidly mad about this it is hilarious now that I look at it #anyways alya deserves better and no one is a better bestie than her and chat noir for maribug #seethe you fucking fools

[rexscanonwife]

Grrggh...good morning everypony = w = I rewatched the episode of the ppg reboot where Utonium gets a girlfriend...

#jane journals #self insert talk #🔬 starkissed scientist 🔬 #i woke up at 5 in the gah damn morning and MY HEADPHONES are gone so im gonna have to ride the bus w/o them >:[ #hell on earth 10 dead 4 missing!!! #and i choose to do this before i go ajfjg #anyways this sucks #like im not bothered by love interests but this whole reboot is ass and the characters are badly written #but theres like....at least one or two cute moments where utonium is smooth with it >//< #it cant even get the FIRST THING RIGHT ABOUT HIM THO #in literally THE FIRST EPISODE he says that spiders creep him out and they basically just. not even ignore but contradict it entirely #for why? the purpose of this ep where the love interest studies spiders and turns into one ig #they could say that hes PRETENDING to like them because he likes her. but they didnt do that #ALSO why spider? why not werewolf? that would be hot #and the love interest is that bland brand of 'adorkable' thats so disingenuous #on the other hand i DO like spiders. and the way she talks to one and like treats it like a pet...yeah id do that ._. #and idk they always write utonium as way more harsh than he'd usually be especially with bubbles #he wouldnt tell her shes being SELFISH by not wanting to give away her last piece of popcorn to a spider #especially when she barely got any #maybe he'd remind her that its GOOD to be generous BUT NOT CALL HER SELFISH #but yeah....theres maybe a moment or two 😒 #like when his love interest spoils a whole MOVIE for the girls and ofc theyre upset #but he holds her face and says 'everything i need to see is right here'...>//< #THAT was smooth #and idk they don't play with the idea of the girls wanting to break them up ENOUGH #they just write one fake email and its done. then spider reveal #it sucks maybe i shouldnt have started my day this way 😂😂😂 #whatever hopefully work is good!! #and i always have og utoniom to think about 🥺👉👈💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘

[monards]

i know hoyo is setting up rhine to have good intent and whatever in her trying to 'save' khaneri'ah or whatever; but i REALLY hope they stay with the cruel persona thats been built up for her. because it would be so wonderful to see a character who had good intent in the beginning just get absolutely corrupted; with the inability to ever go back to that prior state purely because of what had happened. also because there is NO way in her turning back after all that shit

#sorry. i dont think theres any good and plausible explanation for rhine to still be a kind or gentle person in general #she can (and SHOULD) have her moments. but it'd make so much more sense (and be much more impactful) for her to be inherently cruel #because look at all the stuff thats happened #i love the indomitable human spirit trope. dont get me wrong. #but rhine has that in the way she WONT stop her research till shes either dead or murdered. she is not gonna be gentle kind and optimistic #she watched all her kids (that she was SHOWN to care for) get very brutally murdered. #had to then go and kill her next creations that she didn't consider perfect (which most certainly fucks a women up. no matter what you say) #made the 'perfect creation' and the way she treated him was obviously a HUGE contrast to how she was before (being gentle and nuturing) #and left him (albeit with what we can guess was good intent) with NO goodbye just #a recommendation letter. a text. and his final mission #she could have good intent #and still care for others #dont get me wrong!!!!!!! #but shes. human??? #humans can be (as much as i hate to say it) a tad selfish when it comes to survival #and being antagonized demonized AND shunned by teyvat and even her own people. having to survive multiple gods wrath #isn't. gonna be good for the human psych #and it isn't gonna be something fixable #look at how furina progressively faltered over a hundered years WHILE being adored #she already started waning in her ethics and morals (as someone immortalized as a human WOULD) #with exposing lyney and all of that when it was VERY clearly the morally wrong thing to do (which her as a human would know) #and being relatively pessimistic and clearly spiralling #(no hate. i love furina with all my heart.) #if thats how FURINA started going #imagine rhine who has nobody (save maybe alice. but i doubt she'd be constant given her spontaneous nature and refusal to sit still) #shit man. even I'D go crazy and be horrible. #its okay and natural to be bitter #and its not as if anybody was there to help #hexenzirkel has a ton of women who survived their own nations falling yes #but not ONE of them (from what we know) has had circumstances any where near rhine's

[write-and-wander]

I know this page is mostly a graveyard which is 100% my bad because I do fall off the face of the planet often and without warning

But does anyone want me to post any of the Astarion (Baldur's Gate 3) oneshots & drabbles I've been writing? I may eventually write a series too.

#astarion bg3 #he's immediately taken over my brain and I am in love #I'll keep writing anyway because I always have and always will write for myself first and anyone else second #i'm selfish with my writing that way #i just want to know if it's worth posting #and maybe it will be because people who dont follow me could read it too #bur my fics dont have a lot of traction anymore bc i dont post as often and i dont usually keep up with the most popular fandoms #oop typo in the tags lol whoopsie #anyway #just like this or something if you want me to post them and i will #if no one says anything i might just keep them to myself :))))))