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mayhem24-7forever · 2 years

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Time Is Running Out - Running Out of Time Part One

Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Mitchell!Reader Oneshot

~ Part Two ~

Maverick’s daughter is hiding a pretty big secret from her dad and her friends, hopefully Jake won’t blow it all...

Author’s Notes: Ok so first of all, I don’t want minors reading any of my fics, even if they are SFW so this one is especially off limits! I deserve a safe place to express myself so please respect my boundaries. Yeah the ‘L word’ joke is from Scott Pilgrim Versus the World but I didn't remember/realize that until after I wrote it and I think it’s cute as fuck so we’ll pretend its a reference or a homage like the joke in The Quarry. My apologies Edgar Wright, apparently we share a brain cell for dialogue writing/joke making. This was originally going to be a Bob fic but I wrote it so out of character for him that it was actually in character for Jake and decided to switch it over. A large portion of this is just me naming banger 80’s songs, making really random references to other projects that the top gun actors have been in and definitely ripping off the rooftop dance scene from Set It Up so I’m sorry. Huge thank yous to @a-reader-and-a-writer for originally beta reading this and pointing out that it would be better as a Jake fic than a Bob fic and to @skvatnavle and @maggiescarborough for beta reading as well. Dividers by @jbarneswilson.

Content Warnings: secret dating, fluff, NSFWish, smutish, really suggestive content, super light fingering/oral/teasing, super light breast and ass fondling, public sex, almost caught, low key forbidden romance-ish, alcohol, kissing/making out/hickeys, that super relatable feel when you’re trying to act normal in front of your best friend but your boyfriend has his head under your skirt, lowkey public sex/exhibitionism, mentions of the military, overprotective fathers/boyfriends/best friends, mentioning murder/robbery/criminals, talk about locking doors/walking someone out to a car as a safety precaution/pepper spray (aka the reality of being a young woman alone at night), adult language/cursing

“Last call! I ain’t waiting here until the sun rises so pack it up!” Y/N Mitchell called from behind the bar to the last group of customers all gathered around the pool table.

It was exceptionally late at night—or very early in the morning depending on your perspective—and the only people left in The Hard Deck were Y/N and the Top Gun team, who were engaged in a very heated game of ‘cutthroat pool’. As Hangman, Rooster, Phoenix, Coyote, and Payback played, Bob and Fanboy sat to the side and talked about a new weapons system they had to learn. Y/N had been left to run the bar on her own as Jimmy had gotten off work early in the afternoon to take his grandchildren to see a movie and her father, Maverick, had taken Penny home around midnight. Overall, the night had gone quite well. But 2 A.M. was the bar’s official closing time so it was time for them to go.

“Well, I’m gonna head out! Got a booty call from a hottie to get to!” Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin announced, standing up and heading towards the door. “Good night and thanks for the beers, Y/N!”

“Have fun with your booty call!” She called after him with a smirk. “Wrap it before you tap it!”

He walked out the door, Y/N and Jake sharing a secret grin with one another at their private joke before he left. They had been dating for almost a month but no one else knew, not even Penny. If her dad found out that she was dating a member of the team, the couple would be in pretty hot water as he was incredibly protective of his only child. So they had decided to keep their blossoming romance a secret from the world. Hence, Hangman’s nightly announcements that he had a different girl to go fuck to throw the team off their trail.

“Good night!” Payback, Coyote, and Fanboy each called out as they headed out the front door and she waved.

“Need me to stay while you close and walk you out to your car?” Rooster asked.

“Did my dad put you up to this?” She asked and he laughed.

“No, but he’d probably appreciate me keeping an eye on you.” he replied and she smiled.

“Alright teacher’s pet, sorry to rob you of making my dad happy but I’m a big girl and I can get myself home just fine.” she replied. “But I really do appreciate it. Thanks Bradley.”

“Alright fine, but if you get murdered by some psycho masked killer or something, I want you to know that your dad will make sure I am held solely responsible for your death.” Bradley joked and she rolled her eyes.

Something like that might have sounded strange or even morbid to anyone else but Y/N had known Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw for her entire life. He was her best friend since they were kids and they’d even lost their virginities to one another as an experiment before Bradley joined the navy, a fact that the team had regretfully learned about during a very, very drunk night of truth or dare. There was nothing romantic between the pair, there never had been, but it didn’t stop Jake from being a little bit jealous of his mustached wingman.

“Go home Bradley before I use my pepper spray on you instead of a crazed murderer.” she responded, shoving him playfully towards the door and shaking her head.

“Alright, good night Y/N.” Rooster said as he left, Bob and Phoenix following with their goodbyes as they exited.

She closed the door behind them before going to the side patio doors leading to the beach and closing them as well, remembering to lock them too. Her next order of business was to turn off the jukebox and plug her phone into the speaker system, selecting her closing and cleaning playlist. It was mostly comprised of 80’s hits that her dad had gotten her into and she loved to listen to them in the empty bar. The opening guitar riff of “Dead Man’s Party” by Oingo Boingo played out of the bar speakers and she adjusted it to a slightly lower level that she could still hear.

She swayed to the beat and hummed the tune as she updated the bar tab books and counted out the cash register. It took a few songs to finish at the register and to put the cash in the safe in the back office but she was soon onto the next closing task of washing the mugs and glasses in the back kitchen area and taking notes for Jimmy on what needed to be restocked during his opening shift.

She was beginning to mop up a few spots of spilled beer on the floor when “Let’s Hear it for the Boy” by Deniece Williams began playing. She smiled, the song always reminded her of Jake, because he took her to see an anniversary showing of Footloose at a drive-in-theater for their first date. The song never failed to make her happy and she couldn’t stop herself from dancing around the bar, singing into the mop like a microphone as she cleaned up sticky puddles of spilled drinks.

Unbeknownst to her, Jake had come back to the bar and entered through the back kitchen door. He stood in the doorway of the kitchen, leaning on the door frame as he watched his girlfriend dance around the room. She sang along loudly to the lyrics and he smiled. Her little cleaning concerts were one of the things he loved most about her and part of the reason why he kept coming back to help her close the bar, even if it was really late and he was tired. Her energy and happiness gave him energy and made him happy.

His only complaint was that she always got so into the music that she wasn’t aware of her surroundings and often forgot to lock the back door, a bad habit that made him nervous. The other part of the reason he would come to help her close, no matter how exhausted he was, was because he worried about her and wanted to make sure she was safe. It wasn’t like Fightertown and San Diego were dens of crime or something, he just had the urge to protect her because he loved her so much, not that she knew. They hadn’t said they loved each other yet, although they both felt that way. As he watched her sing and dance as she cleaned, completely oblivious to him in the doorway, he decided to surprise her and quietly moved towards her.

“Oh maybe he’s no Romeo but he’s my lovin’ one-man show!” She sang into the mop handle, loudly and only slightly off key. “Oh whoa-oa-oa let’s hear it for the b-”

He cut her off as he wrapped his arms around her stomach and pulled her up in his arms, spinning her around with a laugh. She dropped the mop in surprise and screamed for a moment before realizing that she recognized the arms holding her and the laugh in her ear as that of her boyfriend.

“Jake!” she squealed as he put her down and she turned around in his arms to slap his chest angrily. “Don’t do that! You almost gave me a heart attack!”

“Really? Let me check your pulse.” He replied with a smirk as he put his palm on her breast and squeezed lightly. “It does feel a little fast.”

“Very funny.” she said as she rolled her eyes and tried to stay mad at him but couldn’t, cracking a smile as she pushed his hand away. “Did you come back here just to feel me up while I’m trying to close up?”

“I actually came back to spend some quality time with my girlfriend and protect her but your option is much more fun.” Jake said, reaching to grab her breasts again and she shook her head, laughing as she pushed him away.

“Protect me?” she questioned.

“Someone’s gotta do it since for some reason you refuse to lock the door when you’re here alone!” Jake said matter-of-factly as he moved to wrap his arms around her waist again.

“I forgot, okay!” she replied, setting her hands on his chest as she looked up at him and he raised his eyebrows in doubt.

“I’ve told you to lock the back door a hundred times, what if I was some crazy guy with a gun or something?” Jake asked.

“Oh my God! You sound just like my dad and Bradley!” she exclaimed with a smile.

“Because they’re right.” he replied.

“Are you feeling okay?” she asked as she put a hand against his forehead as if to check his temperature. “Hangman and Rooster agreeing on something? Who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend?” He shook her hand off his head as she laughed.

“We are capable of getting along occasionally, you know.” he said with a smile before getting a little more serious. “But seriously babe, you have to start remembering to lock the back door. I worry about you, okay?”

She nodded her head and gazed into his earnest green eyes, touched by the affection and worry he held for her.

“I’m sorry babe, I really am trying to remember.” she said, putting a hand on his cheek affectionately.

“It’s alright, I’ll just have to come be your personal bodyguard and help you close every night until you remember.” Jake replied and she laughed.

“You’d get bored.” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“I could never get bored of you.” he said and she smiled, pulling him into an appreciative kiss. When they pulled back, he continued. “I am sorry that I interrupted your stage performance, your mop microphone is cute and I love your singing voice. I hope you were thinking of someone special as you sung…” He trailed off with a smug grin.

“I was actually.” she answered, a sly smile creeping onto her face as she continued. “I was thinking about Bradley. ‘He’s my lovin’ one man show’, you know? I just think he’s so hot-”

He cut her off by surging forwards to give her a jealous and possessive kiss, so hard and passionate it took her by surprise for a moment before she leaned into the kiss. He kissed her like a man possessed for a few moments more and then pulled back, smirking down at her as she tried to catch her breath, confused as to why he stopped.

“You were saying something about pornstache?” he asked smugly.

“Alright fine, I was singing about you.” she said and as he began to celebrate she quickly added “But don’t let it get to your head!”

“I’ll try.” he replied.

“I didn’t think you were going to come back tonight, you’ve done it three times this week.” she said, seizing the quiet moment to let out some of her anxieties. “The team is gonna get suspicious at some point and when they find out, my dad is gonna find out.”

“No one is going to find out.” Jake assured her, stroking her cheek. “I drove little down the highway before turning around and taking the back streets and I parked behind the dumpster. Besides, the team thinks I’m sleeping around with a different girl every night. If anyone asks me where I was, I just make up a name.”

“Finally, your reputation as a man-whore is paying off.” she laughed and Jake clutched a hand to his chest as if he was offended.

“You think I’m a whore?” he asked with a fake gasp before laughing.

“A different girl every night? If the shoe fits…” she joked, trailing off.

“Don’t slut shame me for my cover story or I may have to battle the skank allegations by telling everyone where I’m really spending my nights.” Jake shot back and she rolled her eyes.

“I’m not slut shaming, there’s nothing wrong with being a little slutty.” she said. “But ‘skank allegations’? You’re so dramatic.”

“But you love it.” Jake replied with that charming smile of his.

“I tolerate it.” she countered with a laugh. “There’s a difference.”

“I’m hurt!” he said sarcastically before turning serious for a moment. “But seriously, your dad and the team aren’t gonna find out until you’re ready to tell them, you don’t have to worry.”

She nodded and gave him a small appreciative smile but he could tell there was still something bothering her. “What is it babe?”

“You really don’t mind keeping us a secret for now? Sneaking around and telling not-so-little white lies to the team?” she asked, before biting her lip nervously.

“I really don’t mind. I think it’s kinda hot actually.” he assured her with a wink and a light slap on her ass.

She laughed but shook her head and put a hand to his cheek, gazing into his eyes seriously.

“Jake, I’m serious!” she said. “I don’t want you to think I’m ashamed of us because I’m not, I’m just nervous about telling my dad that I’m dating one of his pilots. He gets so protective and I don't want it to change your relationship with him or with the team. Plus, you and Bradley are finally getting along and I don’t want it all to go to waste when he probably tries to kill you for this. We’ll tell them soon, just not now.”

He cupped his hands on her cheeks and spoke clearly, not breaking his earnest gaze for even a moment. “Babe, I swear to you that I don’t care if no one knows about us or if the whole world does. I don’t care if I have to fight Rooster or deal with your pissed off father, all I want is to make you happy.” She smiled and pulled him into a kiss before pulling back and resting her forehead on his, the tips of their noses barely touching.

“Who knew that beneath all that cocky playboy confidence there’s a really great and sweet guy that I’m really lucky to have?” she said lowly as she looked into his smiling eyes. “You, Jake Seresin, were the most unexpected surprise in my life.”

“A good surprise I hope.” he said, just an edge of nervousness in his voice.

“A really good surprise and I’m so glad for it.” she replied and he pulled back to kiss her on the forehead, holding her close in his arms as he gathered the courage he needed.

“All I ever do is try to live up to the man you deserve. You’re the most amazing girl I’ve ever met…” he paused, taking a deep breath before adding “I know we haven’t used the ‘L word’ yet but I want you to know that I’ll do anything for you.”

“The ‘L word’? Lesbians?” she joked and his heart fluttered at her attempt to make him feel less nervous.

“Yes. Y/N Mitchell, I am deeply and hopelessly in lesbians with you.” he said playfully but she could tell he meant every single word, her heart skipping a beat.

“Then I guess it’s a really good thing that I am also deeply and hopelessly in lesbians with you, Jake Seresin.” she replied, so grateful he felt the same way as her before pulling him into a long kiss that said more than any words ever could. They hadn’t specifically used the word ‘love’ but they both knew what the other meant. When they pulled back, she smiled as she stepped backwards and out of his arms. “Now, we’d better start cleaning unless we want to be here all night.”

“Yeah, we’d better.” Jake said with a grin, slapping her ass as he walked past her to pick up the mop and finish up the sticky spot she had been working on before he arrived and distracted her.

She began wiping down the bartop as he finished with the mop and put it away before grabbing a rag and wiping down the tables, putting the chairs up on them as he finished each one. She was sweeping when he finished and he took out the trash, returning from the back to see her trying to reach something on a high shelf by the pool table, stretched up on her tip-toes. He smiled and hurried over, easily grabbing the object from the shelf and handing it to her as she thanked him.

“Are these yours?” she asked, holding up a pair of sunglasses someone had left behind.

“Nope.” Jake replied. “I left mine in my car.”

“Damn. I’ll have to put them in the lost and found box, I don’t know who they belong to because everyone wears sunglasses and they all look the same.” she said as she headed over towards to put them in the box under the bar.

She resumed sweeping and he grabbed a broom to join her, although he was more of a hindrance than a help as he kept poking her with the broom, bumping hers with his, and taking dance breaks from sweeping every ten seconds.

“I was born to love her and I will never be free, you’ll always be apart of me!” Jake sang along loudly to “Always Something There To Remind Me” by Naked Eyes as she shook her head with a smile and told him to keep sweeping, ignoring his pantomime concert. He kept singing, increasing his efforts to get her attention as she tried, and failed, to focus on sweeping. Eventually he dropped the broom and started wildly flapping his arms around like he had lost feeling in them and was trying to wake them up. She was amazed he hadn’t fallen over from jumping around so much.

“You’re gonna break a leg or something if you keep doing that, Jake.” she said with a laugh as she paused her cleaning. “You have to fly tomorrow.”

“Don’t need legs to fly, babe.” he said as he shimmied towards her and pushed the broom out of her hand, letting it clatter on to the floor as he continued dancing in front of her.

“You look like a dying bird trying to do a mating dance.” she said as he bobbed his head towards her.

“Is it working? Am I seducing you?” He asked and she put a palm to his forehead and gently pushed him backwards.

“We have work to do.” she replied simply, but he could see she was trying to hide her grin as she leaned over to pick up her broom and continue sweeping. “God, no one would ever believe me if I told them how much of a dork you can be sometimes.”

“Only for you, babe.” he said, his movements slowing as he watched her try to stop herself from smiling as she swept, avoiding looking at him. “I just really love making you laugh.”

He took a break from dancing to catch his breath as the song ended and the next began, the opening notes of Berlin’s “Take My Breath Away” filling the room.

“Oh, I love this song!” Jake exclaimed, holding out a hand to her. “Dance with me?”

“No, at least one of us needs to keep cleaning.” she said as she paused her sweeping to look at him.

“Pleeeease?” he asked with a fake pout with big puppy dog eyes.

“Fine. One dance and then we have to finish up.” she said as she leaned the broom up against a nearby table and took his hand.

He pulled her in against his chest, smiling in victory. He wrapped one arm around her waist, the other holding one of her hands as she hooked the other around his neck. They swayed slowly to the beat as he held her close, smiling down at her.

“It’s just like prom.” she joked and he laughed, each chuckle reverberating against her chest.

“I didn’t go to my prom.” Jake said. “I did go to the after parties though.”

“That is so you.” she replied.

“What was your prom like?” he asked.

“Bradley took me.” she answered and Jake quirked an eyebrow up in surprise. “He wasn’t gonna go but my boyfriend broke up with me a week before the dance. I was really upset and I already had my dress and everything, so he came so I wouldn’t be alone. I think my dad asked him to.”

“Did you dance like this with him?” Jake asked, just an edge of apprehensive jealousy in his voice.

“No, I didn’t.” She said with a smile. “His dancing is atrocious, I could only get him out on the dance floor once or twice and I think it was for just like the macarena or something like that.”

“So, I’m not only a better lover than him, but I’m also a better dancer… good to know.” Jake said, smirking.

“You know that Bradley and I are, and always have been, just friends, right?” she asked, looking up at him and trying to make sure he knew she was serious. “I know I can’t keep you from being competitive with him but I want to make sure you know that you have nothing to be jealous about. I’m in love with you, not him.”

“I’m always gonna be a little jealous that he was your first but I know that I’m gonna be your last.” Jake said and she smiled before laying her head on his shoulder, listening to his heartbeat as they swayed in a circle.

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and began to whisper along with the lyrics to the song in her ear.

“Take my breath away…” he murmured, in a singsong voice.

“You take my breath away, Jake.” she whispered back and he smiled, before moving her into a spin.

She giggled as he turned her in his arms, wrapping himself around her back and then spinning her away again. They twirled around the room together, her making her laugh every time he spun her out and reeled her back in. As the song ended, he reeled her back one last time, holding her waist to keep her back to his chest.

“I think we’ve done enough cleaning for tonight.” he said lowly, his breath hot on her neck as she craned up and backwards to look at him.

“Oh really?” she asked, her eyebrows raising in amusement.

“Yeah, I do.” he said before dropping his voice into a whisper, lips ghosting the very edge of her ear. “And I’ve always wanted to fuck you on the bar.”

She smiled and pulled out of his arms, making her way around the bar to stand across from him. She leaned over, her elbows on the wood holding her weight as she continued tipping forwards, giving him a perfect view of her cleavage.

“What, this bar?” she asked coyly before she smirked and crooked a finger at him, beckoning for him to join her.

He didn’t waste a second to join her behind the bar, pulling her into a hard and passionate kiss, every movement radiating with need and hunger. His hands on her waist tightened and he moved her backwards until her back hit the edge of the bar. In one swift motion, he lifted her up and onto the bar top and she could feel his grin against her lips as she squeaked in surprise. He slotted himself between her legs and pulled her flush against him, one hand with a firm but gentle grip on the side of her face and the other on the side of her thigh, which was bare as her sundress had ridden up. Her hands were hooked behind his neck, her fingers threading into his hair.

“Couldn’t stop looking at you in this dress all night…” he said between rough and demanding kisses, taking a handful of the fabric in his fist as he pushed it further up to expose her panties beneath it. “I just couldn’t wait to get under it.”

“You really like it?” she asked breathlessly as she pulled backwards for gasps of air. “I got it for Bradley’s birthday party last month but I decided not to wear it because I thought it made me look fat.”

“You look fucking gorgeous. You always look so fucking beautiful.” he said, hands wandering around her body. “And don’t mention Rooster while we’re making out, you’re gonna make me jealous.”

“Oh really? Well then… Bradley Bradshaw.” she said smugly, teasing him as her eyes dared him to punish her. He gave a dramatic sigh.

“Well, I guess I have to fuck you so hard you can’t remember your own name, let alone his. The only name I want to hear out of those pretty little lips tonight is mine.” he said gruffly, kissing her in a hard, claiming kiss before moving his lips down to her neck, hiking her leg up to press himself against her core.

“Oh, fuck…” she said, half a moan as he ground the bulge in his jeans against her pantied pussy as he expertly tongued her favorite spot just under her ear. “Jake, you can’t leave a hickey this time, I don’t think that my dad will buy that I burned myself with a curling iron again this week.”

He raised himself off her just enough that his lips still grazed her skin, his words muffled when he said “Just tell him it was a straightener this time.”

He immediately resumed working his way down her neck, her laugh turning to a moan when he reached her chest. Her fingers shook as she tried to unbutton his shirt, desperate to get at the toned abs beneath it. She was about halfway through when they heard the front door jiggle, just barely audible over the soft music. They froze as the door clicked open, grateful that the part of the bar they were at wasn’t visible from the front door.

“Did you really forget to lock the front door too?” Jake whispered.

“I thought I did!” she replied as quietly as possible.

“Y/N, are you still here?” Rooster’s voice called from out of sight as the door swung open with a creak.

“Oh fuck! Hide!” she whispered frantically, slightly panicking as Jake pulled her off the bar top and ducked down just before Rooster walked into sight.

She quickly grabbed a nearby rag and pretended to wipe down the spot she had just been seated at, Jake’s hot breath against her thigh as he knelt beside her, pressed up against a keg of beer connected to a tap. Rooster was oblivious to her panic as he was scanning the room for something.

“I forgot my sunglasses, have you seen them?” he asked as he looked around the piano.

“You came back here at four in the morning to get your sunglasses?” she asked, flustered and a little annoyed they had been interrupted.

“Yeah, they were my dad’s and you know how I don’t like not knowing where they are.” he replied, continuing to look around the room as he made his way towards the pool table.

“Oh…” she said, trailing off as she thought about how attached Bradley was to his dad’s belongings, especially his Hawaiian shirts and sunglasses. Suddenly, Jake stuck his head under her sundress and she squeaked in surprise when she felt his hot breath on her inner thigh.

“Are you alright?” Rooster asked, looking up from his search to check on her.

“Uhh… yeah, no, I’m fine! Totally fine!” she said, discreetly smacking at Jake’s head under her skirt which did nothing to deter him from sneaking his hands up her legs and gently palming her ass. She could practically feel him smirking against her thigh. “Just something in my throat, you know?”

“More like something in your cunt…” Jake muttered into her panties, so quietly that she could barely hear him, meaning that Bradley couldn’t from across the room but she cleared her throat loudly to cover it anyways.

“Uhh, okay.” Rooster said as he continued his search.

Jake licked a stripe on her panties, his nose nudging her clothed folds and she had to bite down hard on her lip to stop a moan from escaping. She thanked the heavens that Bradley was too preoccupied poking around the pool table to notice her behavior.

“Have you seen them?” he asked as he checked the shelves and the windowsill.

“Seen… seen- seen what?” she asked, struggling to focus and not moan out loud as Jake slipped two fingers under her panties and stroked her dripping folds.

Mercifully, Jake removed his wandering fingers when she smacked his head again and he chuckled really quietly against the skin of her inner thigh before pulling his head out from under her dress. Rooster turned to look at her in concern.

“My sunglasses… Are you okay? You’re acting a little weird.” he said as he raised an eyebrow in concern.

“I’m just really tired Bradley, can’t wait to get home and get some sleep, you know…” she said meeting his eyes and seeing a hint of suspicion in them so she quickly added “I put your sunglasses in the lost and found box, just give me a second.”

She ducked down under the bar to crouch at Jake’s level, glaring at him as he smirked, licking her juices off his fingers.

“Yeah babe, what’s wrong? You’re acting weird.” he whispered smugly.

“I’m gonna kill you.” she whispered as she grabbed the sunglasses from the box and stood back up to address Rooster, holding them out. “Here you go Bradley!”

He smiled and moved to her to grab them, her heart racing as she realized all he had to do was look down to see Jake behind the bar. Mercifully, he didn’t look down, just backed up and slowly headed for the door.

“Thanks!” he said before stopping and turning around, her heart stopping with him. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay while you finish up and walk you to your car?”

“No!” she said way too quickly and loudly, immediately switching to a more casual tone and volume. “I mean… no, I have to do some inventory and it’ll take at least an hour, but thanks for offering.”

“Alright.” Rooster replied. “Just make sure you lock the door next time, I could have been anyone.”

“Told you…” Jake muttered from under the bar.

“Did you say something?” Rooster asked.

“Yeah, I just said I’d walk you out.” she covered quickly, lightly and discreetly kicking Jake as she moved from behind the bar and to the front door.

She hugged him and said goodbye as he left, locking the door behind him before turning around with her eyes closed to sigh heavily in relief, her back pressed to the door. When she opened her eyes, Jake was leaning against the wall that blocked the bar from view at the door. He had a shit eating grin on his face, his blonde hair was lightly tousled from when she had been pulling it on it, and his shirt was still only half-buttoned, exposing his tanned and toned chest.

“Leaving the front door unlocked too?” he tutted smugly. “You definitely need me here to protect you.”

She marched towards him and smacked him on the chest angrily.

“Ow.” he said quietly, more out of surprise than actual hurt.

“Jacob Thomas Seresin!” she scolded, angrily wagging a finger at him and pointing it into his chest. “What is wrong with you? Are you absolutely insane?”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry!” he said, putting his hands up in surrender before he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him. “I just couldn’t resist.”

She pursed her lips, tying to stay mad at him but couldn’t as he gave her a charming grin. She rolled her eyes and sighed.

“Do you really want Bradley to find out about us because you can’t stop yourself from poking your nose under my dress in front of him?” she asked, a reluctant smile forming as she tried to keep chewing him out. “He’d probably kill you!”

“Oh, he’d definitely kill me.” Jake replied. “But what a way to go! I would die a happy, happy man.” She couldn’t stop herself from laughing at that.

“You’re ridiculous and you are so unbelievably lucky that I love you and that I thought it was a little hot.” he began to smile in victory but she quickly added “But I’m still mad at you so you’d better take me home and try to make it up to me. We can fuck on the bar some other time.”

“Yes ma’am!” Jake said, grinning widely as he gave her a mock salute and swept her off her feet and into his arms, carrying her towards the back door to get her things and leave.

Hangman strutted onto base the next morning feeling exceptionally good despite having gotten approximately two hours of sleep. He walked towards where the rest of the team, minus Maverick, stood in a circle in the middle of a hanger, discussing something.

“Hangman, you look good.” Rooster said as he approached, a strangely sly grin on his face.

“I am good, Rooster. I’m very good.” he replied with a smile as he reached the group and took off his sunglasses.

“That wouldn’t happen to be because you’re fucking Maverick’s daughter, would it?” Bob asked, so nonchalantly that Jake had to do a double take to fully realize what he’d just said, his grin sliding off his face.

“What?” He asked, gaze flickering around the smirking faces of the group.

“We know you’re fucking Y/N.” Phoenix informed him and his mind was racing as fast as his heart was beating, trying to figure out what he was supposed to say to that.

“I… I uhhh… I told you guys I was with a booty call last night…” was all he could manage to say in defense.

“Your car was only partially blocked by the dumpster.” Rooster said with a smirk before leaning in to whisper in his ear so that only he could hear. “And Jake… I know what she sounds like when she moans, even if she tried her best to hide it.”

“Smile!” Coyote said as he snapped a picture of Jake’s face, pale and frozen like a deer in headlights before examining it and showing it to the group. “Now that’s one for the Christmas card!”

“But don’t worry, man.” Rooster said smugly, clapping Hangman on the back and pulling him shoulder to shoulder. “I’m not gonna kill you or anything.”

“You’re not?” Jake asked, eyebrows raised in surprise and confusion.

“Nope.” Rooster replied before turning around and pointing at a figure storming down the tarmac and towards the hanger. “He is.”

“LIEUTENANT SERESIN!” Maverick roared angrily as he stopped at the bay doors.

“Fuuu-” Hangman muttered.

“GET OVER HERE!” Maverick barked, pointing angrily at the space directly in front of him. “NOW! THAT’S AN ORDER!”

“Go get ‘em tiger!” Rooster said, pushing Hangman towards the furious man with a smirk.

“Don’t worry, I’m getting it on video!” Fanboy called after him as he trudged forwards with a nervous gulp, sweat already forming on his brow.

“We’ll play it at your funeral!” Payback added and the whole group laughed as Hangman walked towards his doom, one step at a time.

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transmasckagami · 7 months

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I have this fic idea where kagami makes reddit posts about three events in knb:

Having to take their shirts off and riko staring at them. Kagami asks in r/basketball “is this normal for basketball coaches to do?” everyone is comments is like “get help you’re being sexually harassed/exploited”. Someone mentions the coach being a gross older man, Kagami responds “oh my coach is a 17 year old girl”, and all the following comments are confused as hell.

kagami gets advise about dealing with the GoM as people in r/relationships. Everyone thinks Kagami is going through an elaborate ritual to join a polyamorous relationship. Someone accuses Kagami of posting a fake situation to farm karma because this is “obviously a Scott Pilgrim versus the World Reference”.

The kagami & himuro situation in the form of an AITA post. “AITA for taking a dive during a basketball game to keep a relationship?” 65:30:5 ratio for NTA:YTA:ESH. Most people are dogging on Himuro and Kagami keeps making edits to defend Himuro. Top upvoted comment asks if they were also dating/broke up

Also I think it would be funny if in the third post someone recognizes Kagami’s reddit username and is like “IS THIS THE BASKETBALL POLYCULE GUY?”

#zell writes about knb

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xkcdbracket · 1 year

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Versus Tournament

Scott Pilgrim Slacker musician who must battle his girlfriend's seven evil exes to win her heart, using video game-inspired combat

The World The planet you live in, and everything on it

#before looking it up to find an image #I've always pictured Scott Pilgrim as looking like the Jetpack Joyride guy #xkcd #polls #poll tournament #bracket #polls on tumblr #vs #Scott Pilgrim vs The World #tournament #VS Round 1

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mdhwrites · 4 months

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Have you watch infinity train?

I have not unfortunately. Admittedly, I'd like to just take this moment as a chance to talk about marketing fandoms do for their show for those outside of it. Mostly that it's bad (and I'd be denying if I didn't struggle with it myself).

See, despite how big Infinity Train was for many, to the point where it got revived by a seperate network, literally all I know about it is:

It got cancelled and then brought back by a different network.

It is really angsty.

Someone dies.

And...

Nope, that's literally it. How good are the characters? Not that either. Jokes indicative of the tone of the piece or the common reason to enjoy it? No idea. The literal premise of the show? NOT AT ALL.

Now to be fair, it's not a fandom's job to do anything like that but it gets weirder with how many times I'll see people screaming about Netflix having cancelled a show. Do I hear about the plotlines they wished they'd gotten to see? Do I hear about them reminiscing about favorite moments? You already know the answer but do I hear about the uniqueness of the premise?

Well weirdly enough actually, kind of for that last one because it's ALL I hear actually. What do I know about Warrior Nun? That it was gay. Anything else about the premise? NOPE! Even with The Owl House, the framing often is about angst and it's representation, even back between S1 and 2 when the shortening was first announced. People would mention good characters and an interesting world but not WHY these characters were good. WHY the world was interesting. WHY these basic narrative elements would appeal to others.

Which to me is weird because fandoms don't have to be beholden to as strict spoiler rules as an author trying to sell you on his series where he shouldn't give spoilers. Even then, I at least still include the description for the book during my main pitches. Crises Girlfriend's blog, pinned as the first one you'll see on my blog, starts with its cover, then its description and then with me branching out to be about the unique element of it being a personal book about depression, trauma, etc. written by someone who has been in therapy for YEARS. That's because that odd, thematic twist should be the LAST thing you use to pitch someone on something after they're worried about it being generic.

Like when Undertale was getting big, do you know how I heard people pitch it despite wanting zero spoilers given? Well, nowadays I feel like the gameplay gimmick of being able to be a pacifist would be given first. At the time though, it was "It is one of the most charming games I've ever played but I recommend you go in as blind as possible." That is an EXCITING pitch. It tells me a core element of appeal to the story that is indeed indicative of the whole while also letting me know the person enjoyed it so much that to tell me ANYTHING more would potentially weaken some of the surprises.

To bring up a situation where a fandom has been talking about the unique thematics of a piece versus others in its genre and that working though: The new Scott Pilgrim series. I still have gone unspoiled on it but I know one thing: It's not an adaptation of the movie and it's not an adaptation of the comic. It is a new beast but it stands just as tall as the other two. That is a HELL of a pitch if you know anything about Scott Pilgrim and the fandom is partially signaling to others, like me, that there are surprises to be had with this adaptation still, something many worried about. As a pitch outside the fandom, it works less well admittedly but adaptations are wonky like that.

Again though: It is admittedly not a fandom's job to market a product BUT if you want to get people into the thing you like, trying to give them a main thrust pitch isn't a terrible idea. Like for Amphibia I'd probably say something like "If you like Edgar Wright's shotgun approach to jokes where you're at least smirking like once every two minutes tops, BOY do I have a show for you!" or "If you want one of the most charming, compelling and genuinely sweet families in media I've seen, who still feel like a family, the main characters of Amphibia will give you diabetes."

Hell, The Owl House even shows this difference as people nowadays mostly scream about the gay elements but do you know what first put it on my radar? "This show has the best animation on television. Period. With a charming cast to make sure it isn't being wasted." And yeah, in S1 both of these elements are true and my own pitch back then would have been "If you want a beautifully animated cartoon with fun but shockingly deep characters, TOH is a great adventure show for you." I wouldn't pitch them on Lumity despite that being what got me into the fandom because they are not the core appeal of the show. The core appeal is that you had these really charming characters who could show some real complexity to themselves while also still being fun and enjoyable.

So yeah, I haven't watched Infinity Train but besides its revival, no one has ever given me a reason to.

======+++++======

I somehow forgot to mention my all time example of this btw: I was turned away from Gravity Falls almost until its ENDING because literally all the fandom talked about was its mystery, which they portrayed as easter eggs above anything else, while I was still wondering what the show was about or if they even liked the characters because neither were EVER brought up.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

#Cartoons #Marketing

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nameless-and-joymaking · 9 months

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favorite kieran culkin movie?

scott pilgrim versus the world! i havent seen margaret, to my shame (hashtag this had oscar buzz) so maybe that will emerge as my favorite ultimately, but i think scott pilgrim it's a fun little performance, i like him playing gay, and it's definitely my favorite film overall in his filmography (igby is a great culkin performance, but as a film in its totality it's far less exciting to me)

my little spiel about this film is that scott pilgrim is one of those films where everyone is pulling in the same direction: every department knew exactly what film they were making. the video game and comic book pastiche is so well done, it's a great band film, and the "scott? *scott jumps out window like a human javelin* he just left" is an all-time great gag and line delivery from culkin.

ty for the ask!!

#i rlly liked no sudden move as well! his part is pretty small but he looks great in it

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semper-legens · 10 months

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84. Scott Pilgrim’s Precious Little Life, by Bryan Lee O’Malley

Owned: No, borrowed from my brother. Page count: Unknown My summary: Scott Pilgrim is doing alright. Sure, he’s unemployed, his band sucks, and he’s dating a high schooler, but that’s not gonna get him down. But then Ramona Flowers rollerblades into his life. Strange, sarcastic, and kind of sweet on him, Ramona looks to be exactly who Scott needs in his life right now. That is, until trouble looms on the horizon. Ramona’s seven evil exes are coming...and Scott is in for a world of hurt. My rating: 3/5 My commentary:

Ah, Scott Pilgrim. A classic of nerd media, and rightfully so. The comics are these days less well-known than the movie Scott Pilgrim versus the World, which was developed while the later comics in the series were still being written. I read the entire Scott Pilgrim series many, many years ago, but I don't really remember it very well, so while I was at my brother's place I idly decided to read the first from his collection. While I ultimately didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I was going to, I don't think that was the comic's fault, and it's still a solid little narrative.

So why didn't I enjoy it so much? Well, as I said, I'm much more used to the movie based on these comics - and at least with this early content, the movie adapts its source material very literally. Much of this book made it into the film almost 1:1, which meant I was mostly bored reading it because I was just remembering the movie rather than getting immersed in the book. That's not really its fault, though, and I'm sure that if I had continued with the other books, I would have found that effect to lessen as the series went on. That said, this is a blog about my subjective opinions of things, and my subjective opinion of Scott Pilgrim this time round was a resounding 'meh'.

Of course, that's not to say that the comic itself is boring. There's a reason both it and the movie based on it became so iconic. The simplistic art style is both cute and readable, the dialogue sizzles off the page, and the characters and world are quirky in a way that's fun and engaging and not just annoying, which is a hard line to walk. I love the idea of being just a regular person living in a video game like world where you can have a hyperspace portal running through your brain or you can beat someone up to make coins fly out of them. It's a neat idea, and the casual way this is introduced as an aspect of this world works really well. It's a good comic! Just not one I enjoyed this time round.

Next up, back to my weird special interests, and a prisoner of war camp in World War Two.

#Scott Pilgrim #Bryan Lee O'Malley #bookblr #book blog #book blogging #3

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brazilmugenteam · 11 months

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youtube

Scott Pilgrim Versus - Fan game

An amazing fan game made by my longtime friend Ryon, using the "Scott Pilgrim vs The World" game sprites. Lol at Sonic! Preview and download: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3GO-eE2sx8

#gamedev #indiegame #pixelart #scottpilgrim #FGC #Youtube

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genuineviolence · 3 years

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FOLLOW YOUR OWN PATH !

for the employees of five novelty bars that make up “the long crawl” , the party never stops. only problem is: they’re not the ones partying. banded together by a route established by drunken college students over a decade ago, our bartenders have no choice but to try get along if they want to survive wave after wave of rowdy tourists and hipsters. what is there to do when it feels everyone is moving forward but you ? can these crawlers break the cycle they’re stuck in and find a way to join in the fun, or will they embrace the never ending road that is THE LONG CRAWL ?

THE RULES/OVERVIEW

muses should be 21+. fcs should be 19+. follow the age +5/-5 rule. we can discuss in some cases. please refrain from using problematic face claims. muns should be 18+. there will be adult themes throughout. right now there are spots for roughly 10 muns, but we have plenty of space to expand if there’s demand.

NOTE: you are allowed to apply with two muses. they cannot work at the same bar, just so we can spread stuff out better. people can apply only as bartenders or dancers (only in the case of venom) just to keep everyone on equal ground and discourage power imbalances. managers will be npcs.

this is a very low stakes plot. there will be events and such but be prepared to focus more on character & relationship building ! ic drama is totally encouraged. ooc drama is not. i expect us all to be adults and communicate with each other. do not force shipping. please respect everyone’s boundaries. if you purposefully cause problems, you will be booted.

please try to be active ic OR ooc at least every three days. interest checks will be posted to ensure people keep their roles. no one will be kicked unless 1) there’s severe inactivity (over a week) 2) they don’t react to keep their role within the 24 hour time frame. and even then i’ll speak to you beforehand to make sure.

THE APP

( faceclaim, gender, pronouns ) everybody here knows first last ! they’re a bartender/dancer working at bar name. they’re a age in numbers zodiac originally from location. everyone says they’re one positive trait but also one negative trait. they remind me of 3 aesthetics and you can usually catch them listening to song here. their favorite drink is drink. written by alias, age and pronouns.

please feel free to send in mixes, pinterest boards, mood boards -- whatever you feel might help me understand your character better! please send them through submit.

THE BARS

MURRAY’S (1/4 SPOTS TAKEN) a good old fashioned irish pub. most likely place for a fight to break out. often full of regulars and older customers. didn’t consider themselves “themed” until they were lumped in with the rest of the crawl. inspirations: paddy’s pub from it’s always sunny, cheers. y’know, from cheers, the dive bars we all know and love.

VENOM (1/4 SPOTS TAKEN) a vintage vampire themed strip club/burlesque. high concept, but not unwelcoming. equipped with a main room, where most people on the crawl stop to drink, and an entertainment room, where the dancers and performers work. inspirations: maison derriere (of the simpsons fame), elvira, the titty twister (from dusk til dawn).

COLONEL ANGUS (1/4 SPOTS TAKEN) the local gay bar. tongue and cheek, pastel and candy colored, thriving on comedy and camp. caters to all members of the lgbtq community with sapphic/feminine leanings. inspirations: but i’m a cheerleader’s production design, the works on john waters and david lynch, fans of the criterion collection.

CHEAT CODE (1/4 SPOTS TAKEN) a barcade with everything from vintage selections to brand new vr tech. expect theme nights and big screen super smash brothers games. retro-futuristic and completely neon & led lit. almost another planet. inspirations: the arcade from stranger things, super mario world in japan, scott pilgrim versus the world.

THE DOGHOUSE (1/4 SPOTS TAKEN) a cowboy bar. styled after old saloons and equipped with a trusty mechanical bull. home to square dancing nights and live country music. a welcome relic. inspirations: wherever the fuck beiste took schue in that one episode of glee, coyote ugly, western nostalgia.

THE CAST (5/20 SPOTS TAKEN)

( jacob elordi, cis man, he/him ) everybody here knows rowan quinn ! they’re a bartender working at murray’s. they’re a 22 year old capricorn originally from austin, texas. everyone says they’re protective but also abrasive. they remind me of grease stained muscle tees, a mattress on the floor of a studio apartment, a wave of cool water on a hot summer’s day, and you can usually catch them listening to shady lane by pavement. their favorite drink is craft beer. written by syd, 23, they/them.

( lily james, cis woman, she/her ) everybody here knows marley weston aka ivy! they’re a dancer working at venom. they’re a 28 year old sagittarius originally from queens, new york. everyone says they’re driven but also callous. they remind me of well-loved leather seats in an old car, hair dye stains on a bathroom sink counter, and cinnamon chewing gum, and you can usually catch them listening to red red red by fiona apple. their favorite drink is a rum and coke. written by jace, 23, he/they.

( patti harrison, trans woman, she/her ) everybody here knows audrey do ! they’re a bartender working at colonel angus. they’re a 28 year old taurus originally from knoxville, tennessee. everyone says they’re loving but also erratic. they remind me of an abundance of party city feather boas, conversational buffy speak, the women of beyond the valley of the dolls, and you can usually catch them listening to another girl another planet by the only ones. their favorite drink is a moscow mule. written by syd, 23, they/them.

( olivia o’brien, cis woman, she/her ) everybody here knows veronica ‘ronnie’ grant ! they’re a bartender working at cheat code. they’re a 24 year old gemini originally from austin, texas. everyone says they’re witty but also guileful. they remind me of hands always stained with purple hair dye, a competitive streak that drives your mood and the art of being able to infiltrate any social circle you want and you can usually catch them listening to beast of burden by the rolling stones. their favorite drink is an apple martini. written by jamie, 24 and she/they.

( kit harington, cis man, he/him ) everybody here knows jack deacon! they’re a bartender working at the doghouse. they’re a 31 year old capricorn originally from aberdeen, north carolina. everyone says they’re patient but also aloof. they remind me of a muddy pair of boots by the front door, a threadbare jacket that he refuses to get rid of, and a firm but friendly handshake, and you can usually catch them listening to summertime by janis joplin. their favorite drink is a summer shandy. written by jace, 23, he/they.

APP COUNT

murray’s - x 3 ( charlie gillespie, joe keery, milena tscharntke ) venom - x 3 ( jessica sula, zoey luna, nathan bouts ) colonel angus - x 3 ( shannon purser, sza, mei pang ) cheat code - x 3 ( ellie bamber, elliott fletcher, archie renaux ) the doghouse -x 3 ( coco jones, josefine frida pettersen, cindy mello )

#discord rp #group rp #rpt #rpc #rph #semi appless

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piningprecussionist · 2 months

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As requested!

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elmundotech · 2 years

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PlayStation Plus September 2022 Games Announced

#PlayStationPlus #September2022 Games Announced - #videogames #PS3 #PS4 #PS5 #elmundotech

Sony announced the upcoming PlayStation Plus September 2022 titles coming to consoles on for fans on all subscription plans. Starting September 6, all PlayStation Plus subscribers can start downloading three games: Need for Speed (PS4), Granblue Fantasy: Versus (PS4), and Toem (PS5). Need for Speed Heat | PS4 Hustle by day and risk it all at night in Need for Speed Heat, a white-knuckle street…

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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Legend of the Three Cablleros: Pyra-Mid Life Crisis Review “Get Back, Ya MonkeyBatDonkeyRat”

Saludos Amigos! After four days of working on intensly exausting and through projects, my best of the year list and second Scott Pilgrim review, it’s nice to get back to some fun hyjinks with my boys. And boy oh boy.. did I get that. This one was a fun one.. not the best so far and we’ll get to it’s flaws as we go but damn if it wasn’t hilarous and insanely weird.

So let’s get right to it, on with the show. We pick up where we left off, Leopold, Felldrake’s mummified monkeybatdonkeyrat, as the boys come to refer to him, is carrying donald off and after a game of “What the fuck is this thing” And Jose understandably asking Xandra what the fuck is that, they try freeing him wiht Xandra successfully shooting him down... before the boys nearly kill donald with spikes and other pointy things before using Panchito’s hat to catch him.

So Leopold returns to his master, and Feldrake reveals his plan for the episode: Their going to egypt. Okay so FELDRAKE is the reason Ancient Egypt is so evil. Huh, you learn something every day. Meanwhile the boys try to hide because well.. Donald just got kidnapped and they’ve been at this one day. After some meh shenanigans, Xandra reveals her world map, where she can fast travel to any location with a “spark point”. Oh boy that means we’ll be getting Zoey’s Infinite Playlist Crossover any day now... but while we ait for that, and we get a nice bit of the boys comparing the map to a GPS and Xandra for once being the one whose totally lost with the girls just nodding for her to accept it. But she can also track felldrake with it. You may be wondering “Wait why and how” but I thought of that: Because the original cabs mission once freeing Xandra was undoing Feldrake’s damage, she likely set up the atlas to track traces of his magic, and any flare ups in case he somehow returned.

So our heroes are off to egypt, though while the girls are staying behind, they give Donald the magic mirror from last episode so they can call them if they need them. HOnestly.. a pretty clever setup and a way to let April, May and June help without having to shove them into every episode. And being a fan of Ducktales, having it feel organic that a character isn’t going and still finding things for them to do is just.. it’s nice okay. Seriously Frank why didn’t you watch this. You still have hte better show so far but come on.

My griping about another show aside our boys are off to Egypt.. anddddd in the middle of the desert.... wait so Xandra set up fast travel world wide to alls orts of leylines and stuff.. but the best she could do in freaking egypt.. was in the middle of one of the many stretches of uninhabitable desert.

I mean I get it for some locations but this is freaking Egypt.. why isn’t the pyramid their going to the fast travel point. Start making sense making sense! Anyways so Feldrake gets an easy lead because Xandra took her stupid pills when picking this spot while Xandra and the cabs sweat it out, eventually arriving after them. We also get a really great bit where Panchito and Jose give the camels their water, and then Donald naturally needs some. I”m.. i’m not giogn to questoin where theyg ot suplies or anything, again the bigger issue of “why was your mystical fast travel point in the middle of nowhere” still stands. I mean at least say it was the best she could do or it screwed up or something. Not just “whoops guess we gotta somehow get camels to get the pyramids. “ Sheldgoose and Feldrake are ahead of them, and while obviously I can’t cover EVERY single bit.. there is a TON of good banter this episode, as Kevin Micheal Richardson shows a humerous side to feldrake, constnatnly insulting Sheldgoose, rightfully so, and just in genereal being throughly hilarious. Which given I was expecting him to be a pretty 1 dimensional bad guy, It was a nice suprise. My faviorite being when they fall on a skeleton “You are useless.. not you Carla, I like you... liked you”. The point is our villians are ahead and our heroes have to get past Leopold. Xandra suggests strategy.. but Donald’s already ahead to do a Donald and yell at it, wanting revenge. Before Donald can die horribly, Xandra simply blinds him and they run inside, accidently triggering all the traps and taking out leopold. Leopold finds his master.. just in time for the Cabs to find a control room..

Oh.. the what has not even begun as a button Panchito presses.. sends a rocket off to the MOON.

Yup their going there. As Feldrake explains to sheldgoose, rapidly as he dosent have the patience for it but to Sheldgoose’s credit he picks up on all of it, the pyramid is a ship, aliens built the pyramids in this universe, they mysteriously vanished but left a city full of robot soldiers on t he moon, hence why we’re going there.

Yeah this is GLORIOUSLY weird stuff, our heroes having to go into space to fight an army of astro-mummies and ancient robots copotped by an ancient sorcerer. Yes.. yes just.. gimmie. This is insane in the best ways. WHat’s not is that the boys can’t work the ship together as they approach the dark side of the moon... huh I wonder why the moonlanders left all this here. Questions for later. Oh .. and theirs an astro mummy on board, forcing Panchito to reveal he’s a famous luchador and he and xandra hold him off while Jose and Donald TRY to pilot the ship but can’t translate the manual and just make things worse. Thankfully he remembers the mirror and asks the girls for help, so they put the instruction manal through a translator.

So with our heroes subuding the mummy and having instructoins they finally encounter feldrake and sheldgoose, whose in a cool looking hood with a mask and is naturally baffled to find his idiot neighbors who screwed him over are on this spaceship with him, while Panchito asks to donald’s reply. “You ever been to a party where everyone knows everyone but you? “ “Every day of my life”. PFFT. But the whole group notices their about to crash so the bad gys use the escape part which Xandra condems as cowardly.. before admitting that was her plan too. Thankfully the girls come through, and they land.. I mean kinda.. Donald insists on landing, but their alive so better than Jose expected. So on the moon.. wait let me cue the approraite music.

youtube

There we go. Scrooge is on the other side though, long story. Point is our boys disembark sharing the astromummy suit and Xandra says they need to work as a team. The.. where did this moral come from? No seriously their incompitent sure, ti’s part of their charm.. but this dosen’t reallyc ome up till the last act. Them not working together. Sure they push a lot of random buttons but this seems like they pulled a teamwork moral out of their ass, especailly since them learning to work together is a GOOD idea, it’s a classic trope for a reason teams take time to get the rythum right, it’s just sorta shohorned into an otherwise unrealted space adventure. But they soon find the bad guys have taken over a giant super robot, and have the army preparing to blast off for earth. Uh-Oh. While Xandra prepares to stand and fight the boys.. flee.

And while this is played off as their usualy incompetence... their the right ones this time. Xandra is thor with hawkeye , the good one from the comics, aim. She is VERY powerful.. but as it bears out even she can’t take down a whole army. She can fight them well enougha nd destroys man, in a very awesome sequence reminscent of Claude from Fire Emblem three houses, been playing that lately good game, but... she’s one person. And the boys are three normal guys with no combat training in a clunky robot suit. What’d you EXPECT them to be able to do? They made the right call.. as while they ran off they also found a giant robot of their own so we get an evil sorecer versus donald duck, panchito and jose, both in giant robots on the fucking moon.

Look at times i’m a simple man. But if you can’t enjoy donald duck and his two best friends fighting an evil sorecerer, his descedant voiced by Wayne Knight, and a donkey bat rat, with both parties in giant robots .. I don’t get you and enver will. Our heroes end up finally working together smoothly with each boy taking a leg and donald? “I’ll take the fists!”.. bad...ass. And he does and despite a tense fight our heroes win, destroy the ships and donald FUCKING UPERCUTS FELDRAKE’S MECH’S HEAD OFF AND SENDS THEM INTO SPACE. Our heroes won, relfect ont heir teamwork because apparnelty that’s the lesson and Feldrake and Sheldgoose head home, with Feldrake pointing out that those idiots being next door means their just an easier target for him.

Fianl Thoughts; This was a fun episode. While the teamwork thing is kinda.. shoved in there everything else is just a brisque, fun and rediclous adventure episode. And this is from someone who dosen’t like the ancient aliens idea for the pyramid as it has racisim at it’s core.. but works here because clearly their just being rediclous. I didn’t even get to the flight attendant or half the jokes. This is just a really fun, charming, delightfully cheese episode. And sometimes.. that’s all you need. Unitl the next rainbow, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

#the legend of the three caballeros #The Three Caballeros #ride of the three cablleros #donald duck #pachito pistoles #jose carioca #baron von sheldgoose #april may and june #xandra goddess of adventure #lord feldrake #disney #disney+

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waitineedaname · 4 years

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frame the halves and call them a whole

also on ao3

“Alright, I’ve got a bad one.”

“Oh, lord.”

“Brace yourself.”

“I’m bracing!” Sasha made a show of gripping the short carpet on her living room floor and Tim grinned, leaning back against her coffee table.

“Would you rather… date a spider with the head of a human, or a human with the head of a spider?”

“Jesus. I see someone has been reading the discredited statements.”

“Guilty.” Tim shrugged cheekily.

The two of them were sitting on the floor in Sasha’s flat, and she’d long since lost track of what time it was. Ever since they’d been moved to the Archives, they’d made an agreement to go out and do something together once a week. Sometimes that meant getting sloshed and losing at pub trivia, sometimes that meant dragging each other to whatever new film had made it to theaters that week, and sometimes that meant playing sleepover games in the middle of the night, as if they were twelve year olds and not thirty-somethings with 9-to-5’s. Neither of them had the energy to go out drinking and there wasn’t anything good in the theaters that week, so the third option had won out. They’d ended up on the floor when Sasha made an ill-advised comment about not being ticklish and Tim called her bluff. She’d dissolved into hysterical giggles and he’d said something about how being an oldest sibling meant having a sixth sense for someone’s ticklish spots, and then he’d gone very still and quiet. She’d taken his hand and squeezed and initiated the game of would-you-rather they found themselves in now.

“Okay. Let me think about this.” She drummed her fingers on her lips contemplatively. Tim smiled in that fond way he did when he didn’t want to outright laugh at her. “Are the human and spider bits proportional?”

“Ooh, very good question, Sash. Let’s say they’re the normal sizes for your average spiders and humans.”

“So my options are a human head scuttling around on spider legs or a human with an absolutely microscopic spider head?”

“Yep!” Tim said, popping the ‘p.’

“I’m going to go with option A. I mean, if it’s a human head, I could still hold a conversation with it, right? And I don’t think spiders would make good kissers.”

“I think some of our statement givers would disagree with that judgment.”

“Please don’t tell me we have a statement about a human body with a spider head. I don’t think I could take it.”

“Sure do! Statement number 9170108, or something like that. Some freaked out old coot convinced his neighbor’s head was fake and he was keeping a tiny little spider underneath the fake head.”

“Christ. I’m glad Jon didn’t ask me to look into that one. I might have quit on the spot.” Sasha laughed.

“Aw, and then leave me and Martin to deal with Jon? You know how he gets with the spider ones.”

“Hm, fair. The Archives need someone sensible around.”

“Hey, you’re not the sole voice of reason down there!”

“You’re right. Martin can be fairly practical when he wants.” She failed to bite back her smirk when Tim clutched his chest, feigning pain.

“Oh, how you wound me, Ms. James! Here I was, thinking it was Tim and Sasha versus the world, but you’ve betrayed me for Martin!”

“Is that your proposal for a Scott Pilgrim reboot? Am I Ramona in this scenario?”

“No, we’re both Scott Pilgrim because combined, we can equal the pure sexual energy of one Michael Cera.”

“Eugh! Gross!” She retched and kicked at him, making him laugh.

“I’m kidding!”

“You better be! Any and all horniness for Michael Cera is banned in this flat!”

“That’s fair.” He caught her foot and shoved it back at her. “Knives and Ramona were both way too good for him, anyway. They should’ve ended up together at the end.”

“That’s the first intelligent thing you’ve said all night.”

“You’re really not pulling any punches tonight, huh?”

“Nope. My turn. Would you rather...” She crossed her arms and stared him down long enough to make him squirm, “get stoned with Jon or Elias?”

Tim groaned so loud she worried her neighbors would complain. “No. Absolutely not. You cannot make me choose that.”

“Hey, you asked about spider people!”

“Yeah, and I’d argue that dealing with my bosses while stoned is worse than a human head skittering around on the walls!”

“Oh, come on. Jon isn’t that bad.”

“Sasha. You were friends with him in Research. I was friends with him in Research. Last time we got drinks, he talked about South American moths for forty minutes. I’m getting a headache just thinking about listening to him while he’s stoned.”

“Maybe it’ll calm him down.”

“Maybe.” Tim pouted, and Sasha did her best not to giggle. “Alright fine. I choose Jon, but only because I cannot imagine Elias getting within eyesight of anything as fun as weed without shriveling up and acting like an affronted Victorian gentleman.”

“Okay, first of all, the Victorians loved drugs, they were high on opiates all the time-"

"Like hell am I doing opiates with Elias."

"Second of all, I may have looked into what Elias was like before he got promoted…” She trailed off and bit back a laugh when Tim's jaw dropped.

“No.”

“And he was a major stoner.”

“You can’t just say these things. I refuse to accept it.”

“I’m serious!”

“Are we talking about the same Elias? The Elias Bouchard that uses words like grandiloquent and apropos? The Elias Bouchard that gets pissy if you round up on your time card?”

“You know what’s even worse?”

“Please don’t make it worse.”

“I’ve seen him wear those socks with weed patterns on them.”

“I told you not to make it worse.” Tim wailed and covered his face. “I swear, if I saw that, I would gouge my eyes out without hesitation.” Sasha patted his leg sympathetically.

“Well, good thing you chose Jon, then.”

“I guess so! Fuck’s sake.” He sighed and flopped over onto his side to lie on the floor. Sasha laughed at him goodnaturedly, and then joined him on the floor. She expected him to be thinking of his next would-you-rather prompt, but after a long minute of him silently running his fingers through the carpet, he surprised her by asking, “Do you ever miss Jon?”

“Sorry?” She said, confused. “We see him every day, Tim.”

“No, I…” He huffed, “You know what I mean. Do you miss the Jon we knew in Research?”

“Oh…” Sasha caught onto his drift and fell silent, unsure what to say. Tim was clearly brimming with emotions that he was struggling to get out, so she let him take a minute.

“Not saying he’s a completely different person now, but… I don’t know. We used to get drinks with him. He used to laugh at our jokes. He used to make jokes. Weird, dark jokes, but still jokes, you know? But these days, it’s all business, all the time. I don’t think I’ve seen him smile in months. All… All snappish comments and ‘research this, call this statement giver, stop goofing off during work hours.’ Never mind that just a year ago, he was the one using work hours to show us cat videos because he got distracted during his lunch break.” The side of Tim’s face was smushed into the floor and his one free eye was focused on the whorls he was creating with his fingers in the carpet. Up close as they were, Sasha could see the light scar on his chin that he’d once told her was the result of an ill-advised dare as a child, when his brother had challenged him to see if they could jump off the back deck of their house. She touched it, and he leaned into her hand, eyes distant and sad. “I just…” He spoke softly, “I miss my friend.”

“I miss him too.” Sasha said honestly, though she knew Tim was taking it harder than she was. “You know it’s not your fault, right?”

“I know that.” Tim said, and she believed him. “It’s this stupid job. The stupid Archives. I miss being in Research, where I could make fun of the weirdos in the Archives, but now we’re the weirdos in the Archives.”

“We work at an institute that studies the supernatural. I think we’re the weirdos no matter which department we’re in.” She said, aiming for some levity and feeling relieved when Tim let out a soft huff of laughter.

“Fair. Still. The vibes in there are…”

“Bad.” She finished for him.

“You can say that again.” He finally shifted to look at her again. “If you were the Head Archivist-”

“Tim-” She warned, not wanting to dig up an old sore point.

“I’m serious. If you were the Archivist, do you think you’d act like this?”

“Would I push you away, you mean.” She said. He shrugged and nodded. “I don’t know. I really don’t, Tim. I’d like to say I wouldn’t, but who knows what kind of pressure it involves. I can be just as intense as Jon when I feel pressured.”

“Yeah, but you’d be way nicer than him.”

“You don’t know that.” Sasha said, firm but gentle.

“...Guess I don’t.” Tim sighed and shut his eyes. She reached down and squeezed his hand. He squeezed back.

“Next time you’re missing Jon, call me instead, okay? Or Martin, he’d love that.” She ran her thumb over his and gave him a small smile. “You can always count on me.”

His gaze is impossibly soft as he looks up at her, and he seems to almost forget to respond at first. “Yeah.” He finally says. “I can always count on you, Sash.” A cheeky grin spread across his face, breaking the tender moment. “The Pilgrim to my Scott.”

She laughed and let go of his hand to push his shoulder into the leg of the coffee table playfully. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“It makes perfect sense!” He protested despite his own laughter. “Okay, maybe it doesn’t make sense, but it’s the thought that counts. I’m poetic.”

“No, you’re sleep-deprived.” She sat up enough to eye the microwave from her vantage point in the kitchen. “Oh lord, it’s 2am, no wonder. You always get sappy at 2am.”

“I do not!”

“You do. Big sap.” She patted his cheek playfully and stood. “Want me to get you some extra blankets for the couch?”

“That’d be great.” He hauled himself to his feet, groaning all the way. She snickered.

“You sound like an old man.”

“I’ll have you know, I’m young and spry.” He complained, stretching.

“Mhm.” She rolled her eyes and went to the closet.

“At the prime of my life.”

“And yet you make dad noises getting out of a chair.”

“Hey, lying on the floor isn’t good for your back! Aren’t you older than me anyway?”

“Maybe, but I’m not the one complaining about my back.” She cut off whatever complaint he had prepared by throwing a quilt at him. He caught it and stuck his tongue out at her. She returned the gesture and grabbed another blanket. “Are two blankets good?”

“That’s perfect.” He took the blanket gratefully and settled on the couch. “Should I make breakfast as thanks?”

“You don’t have to,” Sasha immediately said out of politeness, but then added, “But if you want to make pancakes…”

“Understood. I’ll see you bright and early with some pancakes, then.” Tim smiled up at her and made himself comfortable on the couch.

“See you in the morning, Tim.” She turned to walk to her room, but stopped at the doorway when Tim piped up again.

“Sasha?”

“Hm?” She looked back at him and saw his best flirty grin on his face. He winked and blew a kiss at her. More than used to his nonsense, she gasped and pretended to catch the invisible kiss, then promptly put her hand to mouth and pretended to eat the kiss. Tim clutched his heart and fell back onto the couch, trying to act like he wasn’t holding back laughter. “No, you’re so cruel!”

“Good night, Tim.” She said, closing the door behind herself before her poker face could break.

“Good night, Sasha.” She heard through the door, full of fondness and amusement in equal parts.

Sasha rolled out of bed the next morning to find Tim making pancakes, as promised. They sat at her kitchen table and bickered playfully about movies; Tim listened patiently as she infodumped about the history of science fiction as a genre, and she let him rant for the fiftieth time about Indiana Jones. Tim insisted on washing the dishes like a gentleman, and Sasha insisted on squirting bubbles out of the dish detergent bottle at him. They didn’t speak a word about work or their conversation from the night before, but she hugged him very tightly before he left, as if conveying all the emotion she could through touch alone. From the way he squished his face into her shoulder, it seemed the message came across.

“I’ll make sure to get you the spider guy’s number.” He said when they finally pulled apart, and she snorted.

“You’re insufferable, you know that?” She said, shoving him out the door.

“So I’ve heard.” He winked and walked backwards down the hall outside her flat. She sighed and waved, a smile on her face as she shut the door.

If he bugged her and Martin more than usual after talking to Jon the following week, she didn’t mention it.

#tma #the magnus archives #sasha james #tim stoker #ambiguous timsasha #my writing #okay to reblog #I blame the liveshow for making this more emotional than intended #wrote more than half of this in one sitting instead of writing my final paper how are y'all doing #my hobbies include infusing dialogue with as much dramatic irony as possibly and crying about s1 archival gang

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