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101flavoursofweird · 8 months

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4 with Kipo and someone else for the Little moments prompts?

((tThank you for this, and I’m sure it took so long to write! I needed to brush up on my Kipo knowledge :D))

Set: A couple of months after Emilia’s defeat, but before the five year time-skip. Kipo, Benson and the gang are living in Las Vista.

Spoilers: For most of the series, especially the ending of Season 3.

Warnings: Friends arguinh and reference to major character death.

Note: This was inspired by Rad Sechrist’s official art for the Wolf Movie, which shows Wolf returning home and hugging Kipo after being gone a long time. We see Wolf is present in Las Vistas after the timeskip, but it’s possible she left and returned home sometime during those five years.

Title: Cure for Lonliness

Summary: Wolf wants to leave Las Vistas. Kipo isn’t happy with this development. Benson provides comfort.

Right when the mega jaguar was tearing through Las Vistas— right when Benson needed a lift off Buff Dave— Dave went and transformed into a senior bug.

Benson chucked Dave into the restaurant. “Troy— take care of Dave!” Benson shouted, ignoring Dave’s complaints that he was too old for a babysitter. “Stay inside! This could be bad…”

Was someone attacking the city? Had Kipo gone to confront them? Was Wolf helping Kipo…?

Had mega-Amelia returned to carry out her revenge?

Benson slammed the shutter over the restaurant window and locked the front door.

He scanned the sky, but there was no sign of an air assault. What did catch Benson’s eye was a mega dragonfly— perfect timing!

Though Benson was far from fluent, he had picked up some Dragonfly from Dave.

Frantically waving to the dragonfly, Benson managed to express— through a series of zip sounds and raspberries— that he needed a lift.

The dragonfly swooped down to pick him up and they zoomed after Kipo.

A couple of Las Vistas residents— including the Humming Bombers, the Umlaut Snäkes, and the Scooter Skunks— also tried to follow, but Benson indicated for them to keep back.

Whatever was happening, Kipo could handle it… right?

Benson squinted at the outskirts of Las Vistas— he couldn’t see any attackers— when the mega jaguar suddenly shrank from his view. “Kipo!”

Was she hurt? Had Amelia— or one of her followers— finally perfected a ‘cure’ to take out the mega jaguar?

Or had Kipo decided to talk to an enemy instead of fighting them?

(Benson really hoped it was the latter!)

Benson steered the dragonfly down to the streets below.

No one was living in this part Las Vistas yet (Thankfully!)— expect for some trees, shrubs and flowers escaping from cracks in the concrete.

Benson ran around the street, calling for Kipo, until he found her curled up in a ball on the road.

“Kipo! Are you okay?” He rushed to her side— not caring if there were enemies nearby— knelt beside her, and rested a hand on her shoulder. Kipo was shaking slightly.

“What happened…?” Benson trailed off as Kipo lifted her face, which was covered in tear tracks.

(He hadn’t seen Kipo cry since… since…)

Inspecting Kipo’s limbs for injuries, Benson intoned, “Are you hurt?”

Sniffling, Kipo shook her head.

Gently, Benson released her. “So, we’re not under attack?”

Kipo‘a voice emerged as a croak. “N-no…”

“But you’re still hurting.” It was a dumb observation— of course Kipo was still hurting, after the loss she had experienced— but this pain seemed fresh. New.

Had someone upset Kipo? But who in Las Vistas would want to do that?

“I… I’m… Yes, okay, I am,” Kipo admitted. She pulled her knees up to her chest. “Happy?”

“No, because you’re unhappy!” Benson exclaimed. For a moment, he considered playing some upbeat music to lift Kipo’s mood, but then he thought better of it.

Kipo didn’t need to block out her sad feelings— she needed to work through them.

“That’s.. that’s okay— you’re allowed to be unhappy. Can you just… tell me why?”

“Wolf wants to leave,” Kipo mumbled.

“Uh…” Benson thought he had misheard. “What?”

“Wolf. Wants. To. Leave,” Kipo repeated, grinding her teeth together on each word.

“Like— leave your house?” Benson said, though he highly doubted this was the answer.

Since they had all settled in the city, Kipo and her parents had invited Wolf to live with them— and Mandu. (Their invites had also extended to Benson, but he had decided to stay with Troy and his dad. Dave was bunking with Jamack.)

Wolf had accepted and, for a while, things seemed to be working out, as far as Benson was aware. But lately, he had noticed how Wolf was hanging out with Kipo less and less…

One reason for this was that Kipo had resumed her school studies with some of the former burrow kids. (Troy had decided he was done with school after prahm.)

Wolf hadn’t wanted to attend school— not even Lio’s classes— and no one had forced her to do so.

While Kipo was busy learning, Wolf had been spending some time with Benson, Troy, Dave and Mandu… but Benson wasn’t sure what Wolf did with the rest of her time.

They didn’t need to fight or forage anymore, now that everyone was coexisting in Las Vistas.

Yes, there was still the occasional squabble between humans and mutes (Just last week, Dave had ‘borrowed’ Benson’s backpack without permission!) but for the most part, they were resolved peacefully.

What was a survivor meant to do in an environment where you no longer had to survive?

“She wants to leave home,” Kipo said. She threw out her arms, gesturing around them. “Leave Las Vistas!”

Benson frowned. “Have you asked her why—?”

“Of course I have!” Kipo sat up straight. Benson also shifted with a wince. (It wasn’t exactly comfortable on the hard ground!)

He watched as Kipo did her best Wolf impression— complete with a scowl, narrowed eyes and a tense voice.

“Kipo, I know how much your mom is trying, but it’s been months and she hasn’t made any progress with an anti-cure!”

Kipo replied as herself, “I’m sorry! Mom’s been struggling since we… since the funeral, but she’s still been doing everything she can with the limited resources she has—“

“Maybe it’s time we looked for other resources, outside the city…”

“That’s not a bad idea! You, me, Benson, Dave and Mandu can search for resources and bring them back here. It’ll be just like the good ol’ days!”

“…No, Kipo. It won’t be US…”

At this point, Kipo dropped the impression. She growled and tore a tuft of grass out of the road.

“Wolf doesn’t want any of us to go with her! She’d rather go with… with…” Kipo chucked the shreds of grass into the air. “Her old pack!”

“Margot and Rupert?” Benson breathed as the grass drifted away on a light breeze. “But they’re…”

Kipo gave him a jerky nod.

Wolf’s determination to find an anti-cure suddenly made a lot more sense.

There has been sightings of two young wolves— quadrupedal ‘cured’ wolves— roaming around the edge of Las Vistas.

Did Wolf fear these could be her former pack members? Or, even if they weren’t, did she still want to find them? To help them…?

“They’re not like they used to be,” Benson said sombrely.

None of the ‘cured’ mutes had shown any signs of improvement yet. They hadn’t returned to their original sizes, and most of their memories were still out of reach.

Clearly, there were some things they remembered, like Brad’s love of canned cheese, and Yumyan’s penchant for chasing butterflies. And they were all still fond of their old friends!

None of the ‘cured’ mutes were aggressive— not even Bad Billions, who had once threatened to make a meal out of Benson and Co at the Observatory… and that was before he got hit by a ‘cure’ dart!

Just the other day, Bad Billions had happily let Kipo pat him on the head.

Would Wolf’s former pack members— if they had been ‘cured’— behave in the same way? Would they accept Wolf if she approached them?

“They might be harmless now,” Kipo grunted, “but what if Wolf does find a way to cure— I mean, anti-cure them? What if Margot and Rupert betray her again…?”

Honestly, Benson had had similar thoughts when Margot asked for Wolf’s help to rescue her brother.

Margot hadn’t just abandoned Wolf all those years ago— she and the rest of their pack had hunted Wolf like prey!

But despite everything, Margot had claimed she still cared about Wolf— that she’d always cared— and she had only betrayed Wolf because her parents hadn’t given her a choice…

Just like Emilia hadn’t given her a choice. Emilia had threatened to ‘cure’ Rupert unless Margot led Wolf into a trap.

Benson couldn’t condone everything Margot had done— Of course he couldn’t!— but he could… understand that part about wanting to save her brother— to survive.

Heck, if Dave’s life was on the line— and if Benson hadn’t befriended Wolf and Kipo— Benson might have done the same thing.

(He and Dave had tried to con Kipo and Wolf when they first met… but that was a long time ago!)

“What if Wolf needs backup, but she’s all alone out there?” Kipo finished in a whisper.

“Come on…” Benson nudged Kipo’s arm with his elbow. “This is Wolf we’re talking about! Our girl escaped from the whole pack years ago— and that was before she became a hardened, staff-wielding surface-survivor. And, despite your best efforts to melt Wolf’s heart…” (Kipo smiled ever so slightly.) “I’m sure she could handle Margot and Rupert if they turned on her— which they won’t.”

“I’m not sure I can handle Wolf leaving,” Kipo confessed. She sniffed and clutched at her T-shirt. “I just don’t want to lose her like… like…”

“It won’t be easy,” Benson murmured, “but it won’t be like that. Wolf will come back…” He hugged Kipo. “…and we’ll all be waiting right here with you till she does.”

The pair of them found Wolf waiting at the edge of the Dog Park.

Benson held back as Kipo crept towards Wolf and sat down beside her, leaving a small space between them.

Kipo said something about how much the Mega Dogs were going to miss Wolf. Wolf’s shoulders became hunched.

Then, she threw her arms around Kipo’s waist. Kipo readily returned the hug with a bittersweet sob.

Benson smiled at the both of them. No matter where Wolf ended up— no matter how long she was gone for— he knew they were all going to be okay.

#kipo and the age of wonderbeasts #kataow #kipo #kipo oak #Benson Mekler #wolf oak #(I know that’s not Wolf’s official name but I’m using it for tagging purposes)#Wolf Kipo #Benson kipo #Kipo fanfic #Karaoke fanfic #My fics #my writing #hurr/comfort #I’m sorry Dave got shafted here #At least he gets to live with Jamack?#Answers #prompts

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usafphantom2 · 6 months

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Tail Art on the SR-71 is fun and fascinating. I can only post for pictures here on X, so stay tuned for more Tail Art Markings in no particular order is as follows:

• #974 "Ichi Ban" Tail art of a Habu snake wrapped around the red Number 1

• #978 "Rapid Rabbit" had the tail art of the Playboy Bunny (with permission from Hugh Hefner)

• #967 had the tail art of a yellow lightning bolt through the red Number One

• #962 carried the "Skull and Cross Bones" or "Jolly Roger" on the tail

• #962 carried "Snoopy" laying on his doghouse. Note the bullet holes

• #961 was painted with a forlorn "Bald Eagle" that read "Bald But Bold"

• #962 had "Speedy Gonzales" Arriba...Arriba and Numero Uno stenciled

• #970 had the Pink Panther with the words "Super Skater" stenciled on the rudders

• #971 was painted with "We're the Fakawee"

• #955 had the tail art of the famed Lockheed black "Skunk" in a white circle

• #981 The SR-71C model trainer had the "Olympia Beer Can"

• #974 had "Dennis the Menace" with a scooter

• #976 had the "Bengal Tiger"

• #976 had a pregnant "Lucy" with a limp Habu and "Charlie's Problem" stenciled under the artwork.

• #972 was the first "Charlie's Problem" painted in all white.

• #979 had "Night Hawk" chalked on it

• #964"The Bodonian Express" with a crab under the name. (Bodo, Norway)

• #968 the "DBX" (Dolby Stereo), had DBX stenciled with an SR flying on it

• #958 sported a "White Habu Cobra" on the tail

• #956 The "B" model trainer had 1,000th Sortie

• Det 2 (Edwards AFB) had the red "BB" stenciled on their aircraft

• NASA assigned aircraft had the old and current "Worm" NASA Logos on the tail

• Other artwork included the main landing gear doors and "Hot" sorties flown from Kadena AB, Okinawa

@Habubrats71 via X

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niroke · 1 year

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#kipo and the age of wonderbeasts #kipo netflix #polls

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tadcccallmyocs · 3 months

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Why you mute of kipo scooter skunk or fitness raccoons

wat?

#wat?

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fandom-fakemon · 3 months

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Scooter skunk from kipo fakemon

Ok...I'll be blunt

I am almost certain I know who you are and I have told you to leave me alone and to stop contacting me after the last fakemon I made for you. If you are not the person who has been bothering me in my ask box and messages a while ago, please prove me wrong but why else would you both avoid using the word based after I mentioned it in my most recent post addressing concerns but also request the exact same thing this person did a while ago, something that have done before but then it was in a row despite me telling them to wait, be patient and to stop bugging me

At this point I'm not going to post any art today, I got a new game I've been looking forward to and im not letting some annoying tumblr user ruin a good mood.

I apologise especially if you are not the person I'm thinking of but this is getting ridiculous

And if you are the person that I am, requesting things such as these specific emoji promts (one via asks) 🦤🥳🏔, 🐐🦩🎪and 🦢🦨🤡, a chocolate chicken fakemon, and a previous ask about this exact promt as well as being the only person in my inbox

Leave. Me. Alone.

#fakemon #pokemon #sketch's scribbles #please help i am going insane because of this person i have blocked you leave me alone #and if my assumption is wrong plase prove that by relplying or sending another ask that isnt anonymous please

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kaiju-wolfdragon · 1 year

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Animals as slime rancher slimes

-Ant slime (scooter)

-Racoon slime (fuzzblue)

-kangaroo slime (ice water)

-fox slime (tri)

-lizard slime (marry)

-spider slime (skill)

-skunk slime(ivy)

Which one is your favorite?

#my oc art #g/t #g/t art #slime rancher oc #animal slime ranchers #ant slime #racoon slime #kangaroo slime #fox slime #lizard slime #spider slime #skunk slime

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virtue-and-beneviolence · 2 years

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How do you think elderly hanma would be like (without mentioning the grandkid)?

Draken would be in a wheelchair. I dare you to challenge this- this man got shots and stabbed too many times ☝️

Bold of you to assume hanma procreated

Elderly hanma is a menace.

He rigs bingo so regularly that he's been permanently banned from the hall.

Elderly hanma has hustled every new nursing home resident (and their children) at cards.

Elderly hanma won a man's dentures on poker night.

In a power move like none other, elderly hanma hung them on his walker until a(n utterly appalled) nurse confiscated them.

Elderly hanma still hits on everything in sight.

Elderly hanma is on a watch list for stealing other residents' motorized scooters.

He's the only resident to have ever been caught trying to sneak a woman in at night for a bootycall.

Elderly hanma may be old, but he still has needs.

Routinely (and successfully) talks his way into double dessert but still doesn't eat his vegetables sometimes.

Elderly hanma will regale nurses with hour long epic stories only to reveal it was entirely fabricated.

At the beginning of his stay, he desperately plotted a way to sneak out to get sin and punishment touched up.

Through illicit means, elderly hanma obtains hair bleach and dyes his old skunk stripe in his remaining hair after a nurse teases him for his old hair style.

Elderly hanma doesn't smoke anymore...but has been known to vape.

The staff could start a smoke shop with all the contraband they've gotten off him.

They have no idea how he even gets this shit in.

Elderly hanma hooked 3 nurses on his favorite mango vape juice.

Seriously, he hasn't had a visitor in weeks.

Where are they coming from?

Elderly hanma refuses to die.

#hanma shuji #hanma headcanons #anon you unlocked something in me with this #i love elderly hanma #where my shuji lovers at?

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askdarkeningpathway · 6 months

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Hello! Please read this:

Hi! Mod Olive (aka Nox) here! this blog may not be that active, but I'll try to post. This is an ask blog for my Warriors ocs, which can include my main oc Slatewisker (if you want to talk to her, tho she's techically me lol). I will not respond to any asks that make me uncomfortable. Responses will probably be in art, text, or maybe animation or animatics. All chatcters on the list that are open for asks will have a "*" next to their name & gender (though my main oc Slatewisker will always be open for asks).

Emojis meaning

-[]//✨ StarClan (dead)

-[]//🌑 Dark Forest/Place of no stars (dead)

-[]//💫 Tribe of Endless Hunting (dead)

-[]//❓ Unknown Residence (dead)

-[]//🌫️ Ghost (dead, no clan, known location)

-[]/❔ Unknown Residence

-⚡️ ThunderClan

-🌲 ShadowClan

-🌊 RiverClan

-🌾 WindClan

-🌳 SkyClan

-🐾 Rouge

-🩸 BloodClan

-🍃 Loner

-🧶 Kittypet

-🪨 Tribe Of Rushing Water

-🍂 The Ancients

<↓ my own things ↓>

-🎯 "DartClan"

-🐦‍⬛ "The Sundown Place Cats" (based off vikings)

-🌿 "AspenClan"

-🌌 "NightClan"

<↓ other, from books ↓>

-🩹 Med. cat

-🌟 Leader

-🪵 Deputy

-💥 Warrior

-💚 Queen

-🌙 Meditator

-🪶 Kit

-👑 Elder

- [🩹/💥/💚/🌙]||☘️ Apprentice

-🕸️ Exiled

-🕷️ Self-Exiled/Ran away from Clan

-🌄 Healer

-🔺 Cave-Guard

-🔻 Prey-Hunter

-♦️ To-be

-💖 Kit-Mother

(my guesses or something??? ↓↓)

-⛈️ Leader (No clan)

-🌧️ Deputy (No clan)

-❌ Guard (No clan)

-🪐 Non-Cat

-💝 Friendly Non-cat

-💔 Agressive Non-cat

-❤️‍🩹 Neutral Non-cat

WARNING: This Blog will include the following...

Blood/Gore

bones/skeletons

angst

And maybe more to be added...(?)

Character list (may be updated)

Echo 🧶//✨ [M] *

Fox-tail ⛈️/🩸 [F]

Bloodclaw ⚡️//❓ [F]

Ghost 🍃 [F] *

Exileeye 🕸️//❓ [M]

Fadedtail 🕷️/🌑 [M]

Riverleap 🩹/🌊 [M]

Raccoon & Serpent 🐾 [F & M]

Tilt 💝/🍃 [F]

Kelsey 🐾 [F]

Gorsepaw 💥||☘️⚡️//❓ [M]

Hermit 🌫️ [M]

Tumblepaw 💥||☘️🌲//✨ [M]

Alantisstar 🌲||🌟[F]

Flint 🍃 [M]

Sparrow 🧶 [M]

Holly 🧶 [F]

Ember 🌙🧶 [F]

Flame 🧶 [M]

Firebug 💥🌲 [F]

Stagkit 🪶🌲//✨ [M]

Fadingglare 💥🌲 [M]

Ash 🐾 [F]

Chester 🍃 [M]

Jack Flash 🧶 [M]

Dodge ❤️‍🩹 [M]

Pounce 🍃 [M]

Sniffer ❤️‍🩹 [M]

Howler ❤️‍🩹 [M]

Mudsnow 💥🌊 [M]

Coppercry 💥🌿 [F]

Copper ❌🩸 [F]

Clockwork 🌧️🩸 [F]

Dart 🎯⛈️ [M]

Thistle 🎯🌧️ [M]

Scooter 🍃 [M]

Trey 🍃 [M]

Cinnamon 🍃 [F]

Flake 🧶 [M]

Frostbite 🐾 [M]

Rosepatch 💥⚡️ [F]

Batty 🧶 [M]

Webby 🧶 [M]

Soot 💔 [M]

Skunk 🐾 [F]

Ash 🐾 [F]

Galaxy-Star 🌌⛈️ [F]

LarkStar 🌟🌊 [F]

AspenTwist 🌿//❓ [M]

Yeah... there's alot.

Anyways, I hope this little ask blog is enjoyable! It's my first time doing one! Oh and a few of the characters are not cats (four of them)

#warrior cats #warriors oc #erin hunter warriors #warrior cats oc #original character #original characters #warrior cats ocs #warriors ocs #Mod Olive🦊#Not all of them are cats but most are #I have a lot of ocs #ask blog

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frogsandfries · 2 months

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Going from talking to one sister to talking to the other, I never have any fucking idea what's going on. They each view the same situation completely differently, and I think their communication problem is actually reading and comprehending each other's written communication.

Anyway, I slept weird this weekend and I think my cats woke me up around five this morning because I didn't put Pickles in his carrier. I have to put him away, because otherwise, either he'll spend all night antagonizing Scooter or, especially if it's dark, crying. Either way. But I was exhausted AND stoned af and it was my weekend, so I left the light on. My bad, I wanted to be woken at five in the morning.

So I watched like two episodes of the X Files while exhaustedly trying to negotiate peyote fringe. Gave up on that in favor of diamond painting while I got some lunch and made some food in advance for some other meal (it was supposed to be dinner, but who needs food when you could be having sleep!); went to sleep like, three hours early.

So far, I'm just addressing my stress points as they come up: What am I doing with the cats? My sister isn't going to make me visit my brother in Texas. What am I doing with the edibles currently in my possession? Again, I'm not going to Texas. What is my time off looking like? Again, I'm not going to Texas. What happens when I run out my supply of edibles? Well, hopefully by then, a) I've stashed some money to restock, and b) my friend and other sister both have recommendations.

Oh great, new point of anxiety: My sister has an abso-fucking-lute zoo--four cats, I think two rabbits, our other sister's dog. What the fuck is this?? And then she wants a fucking skunk or fox???

I'm giving up my lifestyle. I'm giving up New Mexico. I'm giving up Doordash. I'm giving up all the culinary options that are currently available to me. I'm giving up walking down the street in pretty much any direction and acquiring more edibles--edibles which have been keeping me at my job. I'm giving up my home. For, as far as I can tell, a potentially irresponsible investment in the first place.

I'm giving up a lot. On the dice roll of at least one better opportunity. I've already put forth my notice of non-renewal. That's it. I'm locked in to this.

And my sister isn't sacrificing much by comparison. It appears that she's continuing to hoard animals. I don't care if this is a five bedroom house. What the hell does one single woman need with five bedrooms?? What does a single woman need with four fucking cats and then some??

Have I made a horrible mistake? This house is in the fucking middle of abso-fucking-lutely no-fucking-where. It's a smaller town than where we grew up, which doesn't seem possible. Again, I am giving up my entire life style. Living in the mountains, in the southwest. I'm giving up everything that I've grown to love and appreciate. The weather, the flora, the views, my current freedom. My entire lifestyle. I'm giving up sushi on my terms. I'm giving up pho on my terms. I'm giving up on living by my terms, at least until I have my license.

And even when I do have my license, until I can come back here, I'm going to have to drive for ages to get anywhere--to a dispensary, to sushi, to coffee, grocery shopping, Doordash. I'm going to have to put up with my sister's animal hoarding??

I knew this move was going to be a bad idea, but it just keeps becoming an exponentially worse idea. I mean, at least if I'm away from temptations like Doordash, maybe I can focus on saving money for a vehicle. A car would really change the lifestyle I'm able to live here.

I'm hoping by moving to Wisconsin, I can scrounge up some other job opportunity than the one that I currently feel stuck in.

Maybe living with another person will open my sister's eyes to her problem? Maybe we'll still be able to get our other sister away from the problem she's stuck in.....

That's another thing I'm giving up. Even though I live smack in the middle of the city, it's peaceful. It's just me and my reasonable number of two cats. It isn't chaotic. I can't imagine adding four cats to the mix, each with their own varying personalities, will bring much peace. A dog? Other animals?? Foster children??? Actually, I really can't imagine that she'll be approved to foster.

I guess I'm just concerned. Well, I'm terrified. I'm terrified of leaving the mountains. This is where I was meant to be. Up. Surrounded by mountains. I'm terrified that I'm giving up my entire lifestyle and my sister is not going to respect that. I shouldn't have given my notice of non-renewal.

I live in easily one of the scariest cities one can live in. I live here alone. On the whole, I'm happy. I have a lifestyle that works for me, less the whole having a spouse, which idk.......maybe that's just not in the cards for me......

I'm going to go back and forth on this till the end of this month.....I guess maybe worst case scenario, maybe I just work on my license and getting a vehicle, and get back here? I thought I might stay at least a few years, but I'm concerned about being respected for the sacrifice I'm making. I think it's important for her to acknowledge, even though she's kind of helping me, I think she needs my help more, and I'm making the bigger sacrifice for probably the smaller return. I'm giving up my entire lifestyle, while she's getting a bigger house to fill with even more animals. She can do whatever she wants with her money, that's fine, whatever I guess.

Ugh, I don't feel like I'm making any progress in this. I'm just feeling more and more like this is a bad idea. I don't feel like she's respectful of the fact that it's not much, it's not glamorous or anything, but I have a life here. I have a whole lifestyle and I love it, it's perfect for me.

Maybe I'll stay for a year, maybe two. I honestly don't know how long I'll last, living in a zoo in the middle of nowhere. I don't get it. I would've been happy with one cat; I'm plenty happy that I have two, but I really do not actually want anymore, as much as I daydream occasionally about getting another pair of kittens.

I love the bond I have with my cats, and personally, I'm not sure I could offer that to many more animals. After all, I have things other than interacting with my pets and watching Netflix that are important to me.

Okay. This wasn't going to be a permanent arrangement in the first place. I am supposed to go and help my sister out with some of the costs of the house she took a mortgage out on. In the meantime, I'm supposed to use this opportunity to get my license and acquire a vehicle. I hate to admit, a vehicle would be very useful in living here. It wouldn't change a lot of my lifestyle, but it could change some things. I could get to parts of the area that I don't or wouldn't normally, and I could go to those places more often--such as after work.

Maybe having our other sister and our nieces would help balance me and my younger sister out. I just think my younger sister......I dunno.... I'm not sure what's going on in her head.....

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corndoggod · 10 months

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Tony’s Best and Worst Bachelor Parties

Tony Dano was telling a story about how one of his boys brought his dad to his own bachelor party. The dad tried to keep up: he freestyle rapped, hit on girls, took shots and drugs and his own doctor-prescribed pills. He ended up drunk as a skunk, pants around his ankles, falling on the stairs. “I see your dad’s balls,” Tony heard from the kitchen.

Was that the worst bachelor party you’d been to?

No the worst one was earlier this month in Nashville. I ate shit on a scooter in front of like 200 people on the busiest street - people waiting in line for the club and shit - and here I am wiped out, high noons skittering across the street. Worst part was I was wearing cowboy boots and when I was flat on my back, both boots up in the sky, I knew I made a horrible, horrible mistake.

A cop walked up to me, “you’re done,” was all he said. I gathered the high noons and walked the last few blocks to the Airbnb and the crowd was all like “oooof you ok” “ya I’m good” “you sure hon. Looked real bad.”

Nashville is all cover bands and they all play the same ten songs -- Sweet Caroline, Zombie -- but Zombie was actually sick. We spent six hours in one bar and I was in the second row pounding beers drunk off my mind saying “let’s go” every once in a while. I was having a real connection with the lead singer. He’d point at me and I’d say let’s go. He’d walk around a little bit on stage, but he always pointed back at me.

My one friend there, the only guy I really knew, was dancing with this 75-year-old woman and whispering shit in her ear. I saw this look in his eye and knew this man was on a mission. He left soon after. I didn’t see him go, but he didn’t leave with the grandma. I got a massive amount of halal food and went home with this guy to go smoke a blunt and watch YouTube. We see my boy there and he looks surprised to see us and then goes back to his room; he doesn’t hang out with us at all.

I wake up on the couch at 630am and hear him saying, “I’m such a fucking idiot I ruined my life.”

But wait how did she find out?

Tony held up his finger and looked over the brim of his octagonal glasses. The girlfriend found out because the girl texted my boy, “thanks for the great sex” like immediately after. But he left his Apple Watch at home and his watch was blowing up from all these texts, so his girlfriend looked and saw this text. She then called the girl and asked if she slept with this man and explained she was his girlfriend. The girl said yes. Then the girlfriend calls Tony’s boy who says he was drunk out of his mind. The girlfriend calls the girl back to confirm, but the girl says he was totally fine.

Was that the first time you’d been to Nashville?

No. The first time I was in Nashville was like five years ago, before I met you, and it was my first bachelor’s party ever and it was the best bachelor’s ever. I got fucking laid.

What would you do for your bachelor’s party?

I wouldn’t have one.

You have to.

I’ve been to too many, seen too much to know better. But if I had to… if I had to I’d rent a house boat on Lake Powell with a little slide and a jacuzzi. I wanna do that even if I die alone.

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