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megsbr · 2 years

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love you from a distance | sapnap.

Sapnap goes to prom with his best friend that he happens to be in love with. And things take a turn when the lovers least expect it.

cc!Sapnap x fem!reader

WARNINGS: angst, mention of character death word count: 3k

author's note: i was listening to a really good sad song playlist a thought up an idea for some angst. idk if this is good at all as it's pretty different from my normal posts but i was excited to try some new! hope you enjoy and thank you for reading!

They say if you love something you should let it go. And if it was meant to be, it will come back to you. Sapnap always admired that quote ever since his mom said it to him for the first time when he was ten and he didn’t make the school basketball team. The quote didn’t really fit at the moment, but he still liked it and always referred to it when things didn’t go his way. He taught himself to not get hung up on things that didn’t go his way or were out of his grasp.

It wasn’t until now that Sapnap hated that quote more than anything. As helpful as that quote is when you don’t make the basketball team or if you must end a friendship but when it comes to love, the quote is the worst. When reciting that quote, most people do not say the second part, “If it doesn’t come back, then it was never meant to be”.

Sapnap knew he was in love with his best friend but it wasn’t until they went to the high school prom together that he did anything about it.

Neither of them had dates and they knew they would hang out together at the dance anyway. So why not wear coordinated colors to make it official? What seemed like a simple solution for her to have a ride to the dance, was a heart-racing, sweaty palm panic for Sapnap.

He spent hours with his mom picking out the best corsage to give you when he showed up on your doorstep. His mom could tell this was a big deal for the love-struck teenager and stopped herself from commenting on her son’s pickiness about some flowers.

The night of the dance Sapnap played it as cool as possible despite checking his outfit in the mirror every 5 minutes and going through his checklist of things a million times. Car keys, wallet, tickets, phone, corsage. He didn’t want anything to mess up this night for her, it all needed to be perfect.

Sapnap was a nervous wreck the whole drive to her house. He had already felt like he sweat through his suit and felt like the tie on his neck was suffocating him. Before he knew it, he was at the doorstep, clutching the plastic box in one hand and forming a tight fist in the other. After a few deep breaths, he brought his fist up to knock on the door. Her parents answered as they have every time he was made this exact type of visit and invited him inside with bright smiles.

They said she was just finishing up getting ready and would be down any minute. Her mom was calling him handsome, and her dad was giving the ‘keep her safe and don’t do anything we wouldn't' talk. But the world went quiet when he heard the soft heel clicks on the stairs. It felt like the Earth stopped spinning at that moment he looked up to the top of the stairs and saw her.

The flowing pink fabric swirled around her in a cloud of tulle. She had a bright, wide smile on her face as she locked eyes with her date. He was in a nice black suit, with a pale pink vest, that originally took a lot of convincing to get him to wear. From his shiny shoes to his slightly off-center tie that looked like it had been pulled at to his styled hair that was a drastic change from his normal hat hair, she was in awe of the boy at the bottom of the stairs.

The butterflies in her stomach were fluttering so much it felt like they had moved into her stomach, bought a house, raised some kids, and retired by now. She suddenly couldn’t remember the way she wanted to vomit as she had walked up to him a few weeks to ask him if he wanted to be her date to the dance. And the diary filled with the name of the boy at the bottom of her stairs with hearts surrounding it seemed like less of a fantasy the closer she got to him. With the way he was looking at her right now, she had never felt more seen.

The eye contact between the two teenagers never broke, even as her parents ran around them looking for a camera and was pushing them out into the yard. Sapnap sheepishly said hello, shoving his hands in his pockets as a way to make himself seem smaller. His obvious nerves comforted his date as she too quietly mumbled a hi back. Her parents were still searching for the perfect place with the best lighting for them to take photos when she noticed the box in Sapnap’s hand.

“Is that for me?” She was the first to break eye contact as she stared at the pretty flowers in the box, heart-swelling at the fact he bought a corsage for her. She had totally forgotten to tell Sapnap that a corsage was something he kind of needed to get. And he did it all on his own. “O-oh, y-yeah. It is.” He was rambling about how he couldn’t find the right shade of pink and that he understands if she was mad about it not matching. She placed her hand on top of his shaking ones wrapped around the plastic and assured him that she loved it.

What she didn’t tell him was that it was perfect because it was from him. It could have been the ugliest shade of green or been flowers he picked from his front yard, and she would have been just as happy to wear it on her wrist. With his hands still shaking, Sapnap delicately removed the bracelet from its box and helped slip it on his best friend’s wrist, his heart threatening to beat out of his chest at any moment.

They finally tore themselves away from the bubble they were in as her parents called their names and flashes surrounded them. The pair laid into one another as they smiled for the camera. Her hands were positioned in front of her and his were situated on her waist. After a few photos, she relaxed into his touch and leaned more against his chest.

Since they were toddlers, they’ve taken hundreds of photos together. But these were different because they were so close. And she could feel his hot breath on her cheek and could smell the faint cologne he only wore for special occasions. And Sapnap couldn’t not notice how soft her hair felt when it slightly brushed against his neck and how warm she was in his arms.

If you would have told Sapnap not even a month ago that he would be taking cheesy prom photos with his best friend, who happened to be the love of his life, he wouldn’t have believed you.

Once they escaped the camera in their face and the gushing parents and got into Sapnap’s car, after he held open the door like a true gentleman, the pair felt more like themselves. They laughed as they put on their joint playlist and drove off to the school.

They settled into each other’s company quickly as the familiar rows of houses passed them by. “I want to leave this town.” She mumbled one of her most common thoughts for the first time as they passed by the park where she twisted her ankle and Sapnap helped carry her to the bench and gave her his juice box. “Oh really? Since when?” The duo always talked about attending the local state college together and getting an apartment together, maybe with a pet fish or something.

Neither one of the teenagers thought they would amount to much unless it was together.

Sapnap was a gamer who had no interest in school, and she was a dreamer who couldn’t be tied down to one subject. Opposites they were but it worked. He taught her the strategy and skills needed to play Minecraft and she showed him how to let go and enjoy the natural things the world had to offer.

“I don’t know. Just know I want to leave. As soon as possible.” The car came to stop at a red light, and she was face to face with the gas station, where Sapnap once convinced her to eat a weird-looking burrito that ended up giving her food poisoning.

He made up for it by watching rom coms with her for the whole week and holding her hair back every time she threw up. Sapnap looked over to see her staring at the familiar building, the same memory flashing in his mind. It was at this moment he noticed the small amount of glitter that was on her eyelids that just brightened up her eyes even more. It shined with every move she made and was mesmerizing to look at. There was a look of longing in her eyes as she kept seeing all the places that held a memory. A memory with Sapnap. She knew she would be able to leave this place but only if it was with him. And he felt the same way.

“Hey, look at me.” Sapnap picked up one of her hands, ignoring how soft it felt in his sweaty one. Her head turned to face him, her features soft and curious as she put all her attention on him. “I promise, with everything in me, that I will get you out of here. As soon as possible. We will run away to anywhere you want to go.” Her heart almost burst at the thought of him dropping his whole life, his whole family, his whole future to run away to God knows where with her. The rest of the drive was filled with loud singing and jokes about how off-key they were. The school parking lot was filling up as they got there, and the crowds of dresses and suits flooded into the poorly decorated gym.

Unknown to the other, each teenager made eye contact with their friends, waving them off when they tried to gesture to the person they had their arm locked with. They found a table to set their stuff at and immediately went to get a drink at the sad excuse for a refreshment table. They opted for the water when a fellow student warned them the punch was spiked already.

The pair suddenly got very insecure again, too scared to get close to the other and seemingly out of conversation topics. Other friends came up to talk to them at one point, taking some group pictures together and exchanging compliments on each other’s outfits.

While in conversations with separate people, a slow song had come on and all their couple friends moved to the designated dancefloor. And their other single friends teamed up to push Sapnap and his date together and in the direction of the dancing couples. They both stumbled a bit as they sent glares to their friends for the not-so-subtle move. Sapnap took a step forward to the girl in pink and invited her to dance, just like his dad had taught him to. She accepted the offer with a step forward of her own.

Sapnap thought back to the YouTube videos he watched the night before about how to position his hands most respectfully. He settled into the perfect spot on her waist, and she draped her arms around his neck. They had enough space they wouldn’t get interrupted by the chaperones but were close enough that they could see every detail on each other’s faces.

He noticed the shiny lip gloss on her lips that looked like it was tempting him every second to just lean in a little bit. She noticed the little freckles that littered his nose that she has always wanted to pepper with kisses.

They made the smallest of small talk about how hot it was in the room and how crowded the floor was. He cracked a joke about the kid who obviously had gotten into the punch that was currently hitting the whip to a slow love song. Her giggle-filled his ears and a smile grew on his face as she fell into his shoulder.

He didn’t believe the joke warranted that big of a laugh, but he was just happy he could get it out of her. They continued to sway together for the rest of the night, even when the song changed, and dance circles formed next to them. They never moved from their spot with one another.

The night slipped away from them when they were suddenly alerted by their friends, who had been letting them live in their bliss, told them they were shutting down the dance. Sapnap had decided to not let go of the soft hand that brushed against his as they walked to pick up their belongings and head back to the car. Still wrapped in the attention of the other, they lazily agreed to meet up with the others at the local 24-hour diner in town.

Sapnap drove away from the school but turned left instead of right, which was the opposite route to the diner. Giggles filled the car as they heard honks behind them for driving away from the agreed plan. The radio was blaring, and the streetlights were whizzing by them as they got on the highway to drive into the city. There was time to kill until curfew and neither of them was ready to end the night. Sapnap rolled the windows and screamed out in excitement as the wind came rushing through the car, whipping his hair around and causing a slight ringing in his ear. The girl next to him undid her seatbelt to lean out of the window and take in the world around her. She felt all the worries in the world fly away. She felt like she was weightless.

Sapnap couldn’t help but look at the beautiful girl who looked like the definition of living in the moment. Her hair was falling out of the pins she had spent hours perfecting. The pair felt like nothing could stop them. “You look crazy!” Sapnap exclaimed as he looked back and forth between her and the road. She looked anything but crazy, she looked free and happy. Her carefree demeanor relaxed every muscle in Sapnap’s body. He knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with this girl.

He wanted to be hers and wanted her to be his. The cheesy good morning texts and the matching couple bracelets. Living together and traveling the world. Getting married and having kids. He wanted it all. He could see it right in front of him right now.

And as she turned to look back into the car and saw the most handsome side profile of the boy she has grown up with, she wanted all the same things. She wanted to run her fingers through his hair when he was upset and wanted to force him to do spa nights with her. She realized how badly she wanted to listen to love songs and think of him.

Settling back in her seat, she leaned to cup his face in her hand, dragging his attention to her and away from the road. He looked so alarmed, but it quickly faded when he saw her smiling face.

They couldn’t see each other that well at first but a light suddenly appeared and lit up the car. And they basked in each other’s features. Neither of them noticed the slight sway of the car or the blaring car horn, similar to the one of their friends from moments ago.

The teenagers were locked onto one another as they leaned in closer and brushed their lips against one another. For a split second, it was just them, wrapped in each other’s existence and staring into their future with one another.

But from the next second and beyond, it was silent. One pair of lips was ripped away from the other in an instant. And the other pair of lips never recovered. Broken glass and dented metal found their way onto the girl’s lips, accompanied by spots of blood. One soul lay lifeless on the pavement and the other stared in pain. The taste of one another never left the car but they did, separately, never to be reunited with their future.

Sapnap could never forgive himself. Even years later, now with a new life, in a new town, with new friends, and the perfect life, he still blamed himself for that night. He had the most perfect life that had been waiting for him and the perfect girl. He was always told by his family and friends that gaming couldn’t be a career, but she had always had faith in Sapnap that he would make it work. After denying his acceptance into the college they toured together, Sapnap threw himself into streaming and making new friends online. Thousands of people all over the world loved him and supported him.

But none of them was the girl in the pretty pink dress. None of them was the girl who knew all his secrets. None of them was the girl who had a playlist of his favorite songs. None of them was the girl he wanted to marry. None of them was the girl who didn’t keep her seatbelt on.

None of them were her.