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justcallmejoe · 9 months
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"You're in my blood." Flesh + Blood (1985) dir. Paul Verhoeven
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kazmord · 2 years
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Famous movie quotes
“It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.” – Fight Club, Tyler Durden
“Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out? – Movie “What a girl wants”
“Oh yes, the past can hurt. But you can either run from it, or learn from it.” – Rafiki, from The Lion King
“ If we didn’t do what we loved, we wouldn’t exist.” – Adonis, Creed II
“At some point you’ve got to decide for yourself who you gonna be. Can’t let nobody make that decision for you.” – Juan, Moonlight
“You’re nothing to me until you’re everything.” – “American Hustle
“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. – From Moulin Rouge”
“Sometimes I wish I had never met you. Because then I could go to sleep at night not knowing there was someone like you out there. – Good Will Hunting
“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. – Ferris, from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
“Remember those posters that said, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life”? Well, that’s true of every day but one…the day you die.” – American Beauty
“Every man dies, not every man really lives.” – Braveheart
“The truth is a matter of circumstances, it’s not all things to all people all the time.” – Captain America: The Winter Soldier
“I believe whatever doesn’t kill you, simply makes you…stranger.” – The Dark Knight, The Joker
“When you decide to be something, you can be it.” – Frank Costello, The Departed
“All those moments will be lost in time… like tears in rain.” – Rutger Hauer, Blade Runner
“Nobody’s perfect.” – Some Like It Hot
“A boy’s best friend is his mother.” Anthony Perkins, Psycho
“Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary.” – Robin Williams, Dead Poets Society
“Get busy living, or get busy dying.” – Andy Dufresne, The Shawshank Redemption
“Hope. It is the only thing stronger than fear. A little hope is effective. A lot of hope is dangerous. A spark is fine, as long as it’s contained.” – President Snow, The Hunger Games
“If you figure a way to live without serving a master, any master, then let the rest of us know, will you? For you’d be the first person in the history of the world.” – Philip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
“Now you’re looking for the secret, but you won’t find it, because of course you’re not really looking. You don’t really want to know. You want to be fooled.” – The Prestige
“To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!” – A Fish Called Wanda
“We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other’s happiness, not by each other’s misery.” – Charlie Chaplin, The Great Dictator
“There’s no place like home.” The Wizard of Oz
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lifelighttheauthor · 2 years
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30 Classic Manly Movie Quotes
“They may take our lives, but they will never take… our FREEDOM!” – Braveheart
“All those moments will be lost in time… like tears in rain.” – Rutger Hauer, Blade Runner
“There’s no place like home.” The Wizard of Oz
“ If we didn’t do what we loved, we wouldn’t exist.” – Adonis, Creed II
“When you decide to be something, you can be it.” – Frank Costello, The Departed
Don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want. – Heath Ledger, 10 Things I Hate About You
“Oh yes, the past can hurt. But you can either run from it, or learn from it.” – Rafiki, from The Lion King
“To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!” – A Fish Called Wanda
“Now you’re looking for the secret, but you won’t find it, because of course you’re not really looking. You don’t really want to know. You want to be fooled.” – The Prestige
Do, or do not. There is no “try”. – Yoda, Star Wars
Love cannot be found where it doesn’t exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does. – David Schwimmer, Kissing a Fool
“The truth is a matter of circumstances, it’s not all things to all people all the time.” – Captain America: The Winter Soldier
“Hope. It is the only thing stronger than fear. A little hope is effective. A lot of hope is dangerous. A spark is fine, as long as it’s contained.” – President Snow, The Hunger Games
“It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.” – Fight Club, Tyler Durden
“Sometimes I wish I had never met you. Because then I could go to sleep at night not knowing there was someone like you out there. – Good Will Hunting
“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. – Ferris, from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
“At some point you’ve got to decide for yourself who you gonna be. Can’t let nobody make that decision for you.” – Juan, Moonlight
“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. – From Moulin Rouge”
“If you figure a way to live without serving a master, any master, then let the rest of us know, will you? For you’d be the first person in the history of the world.” – Philip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
“Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out? – Movie “What a girl wants”
“Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary.” – Robin Williams, Dead Poets Society
“You’re nothing to me until you’re everything.” – “American Hustle
“I believe whatever doesn’t kill you, simply makes you…stranger.” – The Dark Knight, The Joker
“A boy’s best friend is his mother.” Anthony Perkins, Psycho
“Remember those posters that said, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life”? Well, that’s true of every day but one…the day you die.” – American Beauty
“Every man dies, not every man really lives.” – Braveheart
“We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other’s happiness, not by each other’s misery.” – Charlie Chaplin, The Great Dictator
“Get busy living, or get busy dying.” – Andy Dufresne, The Shawshank Redemption
“Nobody’s perfect.” – Some Like It Hot
“They may take our lives, but they will never take… our FREEDOM!” – Braveheart
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hunterxfics · 2 years
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Famous movie quotes to brighten your day
“It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.” – Fight Club, Tyler Durden
“Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out? – Movie “What a girl wants”
“Oh yes, the past can hurt. But you can either run from it, or learn from it.” – Rafiki, from The Lion King
“ If we didn’t do what we loved, we wouldn’t exist.” – Adonis, Creed II
“At some point you’ve got to decide for yourself who you gonna be. Can’t let nobody make that decision for you.” – Juan, Moonlight
“You’re nothing to me until you’re everything.” – “American Hustle
“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. – From Moulin Rouge”
“Sometimes I wish I had never met you. Because then I could go to sleep at night not knowing there was someone like you out there. – Good Will Hunting
“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. – Ferris, from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
“Remember those posters that said, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life”? Well, that’s true of every day but one…the day you die.” – American Beauty
“Every man dies, not every man really lives.” – Braveheart
“The truth is a matter of circumstances, it’s not all things to all people all the time.” – Captain America: The Winter Soldier
“I believe whatever doesn’t kill you, simply makes you…stranger.” – The Dark Knight, The Joker
“When you decide to be something, you can be it.” – Frank Costello, The Departed
“All those moments will be lost in time… like tears in rain.” – Rutger Hauer, Blade Runner
“Nobody’s perfect.” – Some Like It Hot
“A boy’s best friend is his mother.” Anthony Perkins, Psycho
“Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary.” – Robin Williams, Dead Poets Society
“Get busy living, or get busy dying.” – Andy Dufresne, The Shawshank Redemption
“Hope. It is the only thing stronger than fear. A little hope is effective. A lot of hope is dangerous. A spark is fine, as long as it’s contained.” – President Snow, The Hunger Games
“If you figure a way to live without serving a master, any master, then let the rest of us know, will you? For you’d be the first person in the history of the world.” – Philip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
“Now you’re looking for the secret, but you won’t find it, because of course you’re not really looking. You don’t really want to know. You want to be fooled.” – The Prestige
“To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!” – A Fish Called Wanda
“We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other’s happiness, not by each other’s misery.” – Charlie Chaplin, The Great Dictator
“There’s no place like home.” The Wizard of Oz
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djiris · 2 years
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21 Classic Manly Movie Quotes
“I believe whatever doesn’t kill you, simply makes you…stranger.” – The Dark Knight, The Joker
“Nobody’s perfect.” – Some Like It Hot
“All those moments will be lost in time… like tears in rain.” – Rutger Hauer, Blade Runner
“At some point you’ve got to decide for yourself who you gonna be. Can’t let nobody make that decision for you.” – Juan, Moonlight
“Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary.” – Robin Williams, Dead Poets Society
“It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.” – Fight Club, Tyler Durden
“ If we didn’t do what we loved, we wouldn’t exist.” – Adonis, Creed II
“Oh yes, the past can hurt. But you can either run from it, or learn from it.” – Rafiki, from The Lion King
“Remember those posters that said, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life”? Well, that’s true of every day but one…the day you die.” – American Beauty
“If you figure a way to live without serving a master, any master, then let the rest of us know, will you? For you’d be the first person in the history of the world.” – Philip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
“Every man dies, not every man really lives.” – Braveheart
“Sometimes I wish I had never met you. Because then I could go to sleep at night not knowing there was someone like you out there. – Good Will Hunting
“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. – From Moulin Rouge”
“You’re nothing to me until you’re everything.” – “American Hustle
“Get busy living, or get busy dying.” – Andy Dufresne, The Shawshank Redemption
“A boy’s best friend is his mother.” Anthony Perkins, Psycho
“The truth is a matter of circumstances, it’s not all things to all people all the time.” – Captain America: The Winter Soldier
“Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out? – Movie “What a girl wants”
“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. – Ferris, from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
“Hope. It is the only thing stronger than fear. A little hope is effective. A lot of hope is dangerous. A spark is fine, as long as it’s contained.” – President Snow, The Hunger Games
“When you decide to be something, you can be it.” – Frank Costello, The Departed
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universesmind · 2 years
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To 30 Greatest Movie Quotes
Here are the Greatest Movie Quotes
1. “You’re nothing to me until you’re everything.” – “American Hustle 2. “Some people can’t believe in themselves until someone else believes in them first.” – Sean Maguire, Good Will Hunting
3.  ” If we didn’t do what we loved, we wouldn’t exist.” – Adonis, Creed II
4. “Ideals are peaceful. History is violent.” – Don Collier, Fury 5. It is not our abilities that show what we truly are… it is our choices. – Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets 6. “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.” – Gandalf, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
7. “It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.” – Fight Club, Tyler Durden 8. “I believe whatever doesn’t kill you, simply makes you…stranger.” – The Dark Knight, The Joker
9. “Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out? – Movie “What a girl wants”
10. Love cannot be found where it doesn’t exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does. – David Schwimmer, Kissing a Fool
11. “The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I’d hoped to give you forever. – Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook
12. “A boy’s best friend is his mother.” Anthony Perkins, Psycho
13. To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!” – A Fish Called Wanda
14. “Nobody’s perfect.” – Some Like It Hot 15. “At some point you’ve got to decide for yourself who you gonna be. Can’t let nobody make that decision for you.” – Juan, Moonlight 16.  “Great men are not born great, they grow great.” – Mario Puzo, The Godfather
17. To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, to draw closer, to find each other and to feel. That is the purpose of life.” – The Secret Life of Walter Mitty 18. “All those moments will be lost in time… like tears in rain.” – Rutger Hauer, Blade Runner
19. “Every man dies, not every man really lives.” – Braveheart 20. Do, or do not. There is no “try”. – Yoda, Star Wars 21. “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. – Ferris, from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
22. “Remember those posters that said, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life”? Well, that’s true of every day but one…the day you die.” – American Beauty
23. “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. – From Moulin Rouge”
24. “If you figure a way to live without serving a master, any master, then let the rest of us know, will you? For you’d be the first person in the history of the world.” – Philip Seymour Hoffman, The Master 25. They may take our lives, but they will never take… our FREEDOM!” – Braveheart 26. 37. Don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want. – Heath Ledger, 10 Things I Hate About You 27. “Get busy living, or get busy dying.” – Andy Dufresne, The Shawshank Redemption 28. “When you decide to be something, you can be it.” – Frank Costello, The Departed 29. “I’m scared of everything. I’m scared of what I saw. I’m scared of what I did, of who I am…. and most of all, I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I’m with you.” – “Baby” in Dirty Dancing”
30. “Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. But if you give him a mask, he will tell you the truth.” – The Fifth Estate, Julian Assange
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picturescave · 2 years
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31 Greatest Movie Quotes
1. “Some people can’t believe in themselves until someone else believes in them first.” – Sean Maguire, Good Will Hunting
2. “It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.” – Fight Club, Tyler Durden
3. It is not our abilities that show what we truly are… it is our choices. – Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
4. “Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out? – Movie “What a girl wants”
5.  ” If we didn’t do what we loved, we wouldn’t exist.” – Adonis, Creed II
6. “At some point you’ve got to decide for yourself who you gonna be. Can’t let nobody make that decision for you.” – Juan, Moonlight
7. “Remember those posters that said, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life”? Well, that’s true of every day but one…the day you die.” – American Beauty
8. “You’re nothing to me until you’re everything.” – “American Hustle
9. “The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I’d hoped to give you forever. – Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook
10. “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. – From Moulin Rouge”
11. “Nobody’s perfect.” – Some Like It Hot
12. “I’m scared of everything. I’m scared of what I saw. I’m scared of what I did, of who I am…. and most of all, I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I’m with you.” – “Baby” in Dirty Dancing”
13. “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. – Ferris, from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
14. “Every man dies, not every man really lives.” – Braveheart
15. “The truth is a matter of circumstances, it’s not all things to all people all the time.” – Captain America:
16. “I believe whatever doesn’t kill you, simply makes you…stranger.” – The Dark Knight, The Joker
17. “Get busy living, or get busy dying.” – Andy Dufresne, The Shawshank Redemption
18. “If you figure a way to live without serving a master, any master, then let the rest of us know, will you? For you’d be the first person in the history of the world.” – Philip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
19.  “Great men are not born great, they grow great.” – Mario Puzo, The Godfather
20. Do, or do not. There is no “try”. – Yoda, Star Wars
21. Love cannot be found where it doesn’t exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does. – David Schwimmer, Kissing a Fool
22. 37. Don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want. – Heath Ledger, 10 Things I Hate About You
23. “When you decide to be something, you can be it.” – Frank Costello, The Departed
24. To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!” – A Fish Called Wanda
25. “Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. But if you give him a mask, he will tell you the truth.” – The Fifth Estate, Julian Assange
26. To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, to draw closer, to find each other and to feel. That is the purpose of life.” – The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
27. “All those moments will be lost in time… like tears in rain.” – Rutger Hauer, Blade Runner
28. They may take our lives, but they will never take… our FREEDOM!” – Braveheart
29. “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.” – Gandalf, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
30. “A boy’s best friend is his mother.” Anthony Perkins, Psycho
31. “Ideals are peaceful. History is violent.” – Don Collier, Fury
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icyleaf360 · 2 years
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25 Greatest Movie Quotes
1. “If you figure a way to live without serving a master, any master, then let the rest of us know, will you? For you’d be the first person in the history of the world.” – Philip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
2. “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. – From Moulin Rouge”
3. It is not our abilities that show what we truly are… it is our choices. – Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
4. “Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. But if you give him a mask, he will tell you the truth.” – The Fifth Estate, Julian Assange
5. “At some point you’ve got to decide for yourself who you gonna be. Can’t let nobody make that decision for you.” – Juan, Moonlight 6. They may take our lives, but they will never take… our FREEDOM!” – Braveheart 7. “Nobody’s perfect.” – Some Like It Hot
8. “You’re nothing to me until you’re everything.” – “American Hustle
9. “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. – Ferris, from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off 10. “Ideals are peaceful. History is violent.” – Don Collier, Fury 11. “Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out? – Movie “What a girl wants” 12. “Get busy living, or get busy dying.” – Andy Dufresne, The Shawshank Redemption
13. To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!” – A Fish Called Wanda 14. “When you decide to be something, you can be it.” – Frank Costello, The Departed 15. “It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.” – Fight Club, Tyler Durden
16.  ” If we didn’t do what we loved, we wouldn’t exist.” – Adonis, Creed II 17. “I’m scared of everything. I’m scared of what I saw. I’m scared of what I did, of who I am…. and most of all, I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I’m with you.” – “Baby” in Dirty Dancing” 18. “The truth is a matter of circumstances, it’s not all things to all people all the time.” – Captain America: 19. “Remember those posters that said, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life”? Well, that’s true of every day but one…the day you die.” – American Beauty 20. “All those moments will be lost in time… like tears in rain.” – Rutger Hauer, Blade Runner
21. “I believe whatever doesn’t kill you, simply makes you…stranger.” – The Dark Knight, The Joker
22. “The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I’d hoped to give you forever. – Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook
23. “A boy’s best friend is his mother.” Anthony Perkins, Psycho 24. “Some people can’t believe in themselves until someone else believes in them first.” – Sean Maguire, Good Will Hunting
25. “Every man dies, not every man really lives.” – Braveheart
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mercurybbboy · 2 years
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Movie Quotes Of All Time
1. All those moments will be lost in time… like tears in rain. – Rutger Hauer, Blade Runner
2. A boy’s best friend is his mother. Anthony Perkins, Psycho
3. If you figure a way to live without serving a master, any master, then let the rest of us know, will you? For you’d be the first person in the history of the world. – Philip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
4. Nobody’s perfect. – Some Like It Hot
5. Now you’re looking for the secret, but you won’t find it, because of course you’re not really looking. You don’t really want to know. You want to be fooled. – The Prestige
6. To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! – A Fish Called Wanda
7. There’s no place like home.  The Wizard of Oz
8. Do, or do not. There is no try. – Yoda, Star Wars
9. Love cannot be found where it doesn’t exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does. – David Schwimmer, Kissing a Fool
10. Love cannot be found where it doesn’t exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does. – David Schwimmer, Kissing a Fool
11. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. – Gandalf, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
12. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim. – Dory, Finding Nemo
13. What we do in life echoes in eternity. – Maximus, Gladiator
14. Don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want. – Heath Ledger, 10 Things I Hate About You
15. My momma always said, Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get. – Forrest Gump
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carrionkid · 3 years
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A list of some very real very canon things that happen in the vampire chronicles:
Louis pretends to be a vampire hunter in Romania so the Romanian peasants don't find out he's a vampire and they're all like. Then why did you bring your 5 year old daughter with you,
Armand gets a blender and uses it to make Concoctions
Anne Rice thinks rutger hauer is hot so not one, not two, but three characters namedrop him in multiple books
There's a centuries old secret society dedicated to recording paranormal and supernatural events and creatures but like they just don't tell anyone this stuff exists
Armand starts treasure hunting via telepathy so he can impress a guy and also buy an island to open a tourist trap mall in miami
A vampire pretends to be her own various relatives for hundreds of generations so she can hang out with her family and nobody questions why they have so many Maharet's in this family that all look exactly identical
She also brings one of her relatives out to her swinger house for a summer and said relative gets drunk off her ass the whole summer
Lestat gets a dog named mojo
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aion-rsa · 3 years
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5 underrated Richard Donner movies you need to see
https://ift.tt/eA8V8J
Richard Donner will forever be remembered as the filmmaker who created the blueprint for the modern superhero blockbuster with 1978’s Superman starring Christopher Reeve.
Yet that doesn’t tell even half the story of the Bronx-born filmmaker’s brilliant filmography.
Donner was in his late 40s by the time Superman came along, having made a name for himself in Hollywood two years earlier, with 1976’s suitably terrifying The Omen.
Prior to that, he was a budding director making the transition from the small screen to the world of cinema. Donner worked on everything from Gilligan’s Island to The Twilight Zone. Even then, it was clear he was destined for bigger things though, as anyone who saw  “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet”, the iconic episode of The Twilight Zone he directed, starring William Shatner, can attest.
While a disagreement with producers ultimately saw him walk away from Superman II, the 1980s saw Donner establish himself as an incredibly versatile big budget director capable of handling everything from the epic family adventure fun of The Goonies to the balancing act of action and comedy found within the buddy cop antics of Lethal Weapon.
It was a skillset that drew admiration from the very best in the movie industry, including Steven Spielberg who was among the first to pay tribute to Donner after learning he had passed away, aged 91.
“Dick had such a powerful command of his movies, and was so gifted across so many genres,” Spielberg, who worked with Donner on The Goonies, said.
“Being in his circle was akin to hanging out with your favourite coach, smartest professor, fiercest motivator, most endearing friend, staunchest ally, and – of course – the greatest Goonie of all.”
Donner may not have had the same impact in the 1990s and early 2000s but he still enjoyed major success with the Lethal Weapon franchise and as a producer with movies like Free Willy and X-Men.
More importantly, the other films he made during that period and in the years between some of his biggest hits remain well worth revisiting or seeking out for the first time – starting with these five.
Ladyhawke
Coming hot on the heels of The Goonies and two years prior to Lethal Weapon, Ladyhawke represented another major departure for Donner. A dark medieval fantasy, it centred on Rutger Hauer’s mysterious Captain Etienne Navarre and his female companion Lady Isabeau (Michelle Pfeiffer), a pair of star-crossed lovers on the run from a vengeful bishop who has placed a demonic curse on their heads. While Navarre transforms into a wolf by night, Isabeau exists as a Hawk by day. Teaming up with petty thief Philippe Gaston (Matthew Broderick) they embark on a quest to overthrow the evil bishop and break the spell.
Something of a passion project, Donner had attempted to get Ladyhawke off the ground several times before finally getting the green light from Warner Bros and 20th Century Fox in the mid ’80s. The film then suffered another setback when Kurt Russell, originally cast as Navarre, dropped out during rehearsals. 
That ultimately proved a blessing in disguise with Hauer going on to deliver arguably his best performance since Blade Runner. Not everything about Ladyhawke works – Broderick’s character feels a little too close to Ferris Bueller while the runtime could be trimmed down – but it remains a beautifully realised fantasy epic, full of memorable action set pieces, stunning cinematography and a spellbinding turn from Pfeiffer.
A box office bomb upon release, Ladyhawke has stood the test of time too, garnering a cult following as an authentic and fresh take on the sword and sorcery formula. 
Maverick
Maverick is the film Will Smith must have hoped Wild Wild West would be; a funny, clever action comedy based on a classic TV show. Coming in an era when most westerns were deadly serious, Donner’s film also felt like a breath of fresh air and benefited hugely from a masterful William Goldman script that was both witty and unpredictable.
The latest in a series of films featuring Donner’s muse-of-sorts, Mel Gibson, this time out Mel plays Bret Maverick, a brilliant card player and equally impressive con artist trying to collect enough money to earn a seat at a high-stakes poker game. Along the way he is forced to contend with a fellow scammer in the form of Jodie Foster’s Annabelle Bransford as well as lawman Marshal Zane Cooper, played by James Garner, who starred in the original TV series.
While the glut of cameos from country music stars and the likes of Danny Glover can be a little distracting, there’s something wonderfully charming about Maverick with Gibson, Foster and Garner all on top form and boasting an undeniable chemistry that helps keep things entertaining. 
The climactic poker game which sees Maverick face off against Alfred Molina’s psychopathic Angel is also expertly handled by Donner, who cranks up the tension as Maverick reveals his final, decisive, hand with a slow-motion toss of the final card towards the camera. A critical and financial success, Maverick has been largely lost in the shuffle since its release but should be sought out.
Conspiracy Theory
There’s something strangely prescient about Conspiracy Theory given the current predilection for such thinking on the internet at large. One of Donner’s most inventive and intelligent outings alongside Gibson, this time out Mel plays Jerry Fletcher, a New York City cab driver with a penchant for paranoid conspiracy theories.
Jerry’s life takes a turn for the strange when he finds himself being targeted by a set of shady government goons led by Patrick Stewart’s Dr Jonas. He quickly realises one of the conspiracies he has been promoting in his weekly newsletter (this was the ‘90s) is based more in reality than he thought. The question is: which one?
An engrossing thriller featuring Donner’s trademark dashes of witty humour, Conspiracy Theory is bolstered significantly by the presence of the ever-reliable Julia Roberts as a government lawyer with a soft spot for Jerry. Despite a lengthy run time, Donner also keeps the action moving along at an engaging pace while Gibson’s performance is just the right side of manic to keep you rooting for him.
A first foray into the kind of deep state conspiracy thrillers that were commonplace in Hollywood at the time, the film also boasts some genuinely striking moments, not least the sequence where Jerry undergoes “psychotic testing” at the hands of Dr Jonas, which wouldn’t have looked out of place in A Clockwork Orange.
Though it was a hit with audiences, Conspiracy Theory earned mixed reviews but appears increasingly worthy of reappraisal.
Timeline
Some movies are big, dumb but lots of fun. Timeline sits firmly in that category despite what many naysayers would have you believe. It’s a brash, simplistic sci-fi flick to rival the likes of The Core and Geostorm and thoroughly entertaining to boot.
The fact that it features Gerard Butler, as well as the late, great, Paul Walker only adds to that sentiment.
Walker plays Chris Johnston who, along with Butler’s Andre Marek and a team of fellow archaeologists travel back in time through a wormhole to 14th century France to rescue their professor, Dr Edward Johnston (Billy Connolly), who just happens to be Walker’s character’s dad too.
Based on a book by Michael Crichton, Donner had been in the running to direct Jurassic Park a decade earlier and jumped at the chance to adapt Timeline for the big screen. While filming went off without a hitch, Donner repeatedly clashed with Paramount Pictures in post-production and was forced to re-cut the film three times in a development that saw the release date pushed by nearly a year. The resulting edit did not sit well with Crichton either, who disliked it so intensely he stopped licensing his work for a few years after.
Whether Donner’s original cut would have earned better reviews or Crichton’s approval remains to be seen but what remains of Timeline is still a well shot, enjoyable sci-fi yarn with some neat medieval action flourishes. 
16 Blocks
Donner’s final film also ranks among his most unappreciated. On the surface, 16 Blocks sounds like the perfect fodder for a game of buddy cop movie bingo.
It stars Bruce Willis as Jack Mosley, a worn-out NYPD Detective with a drinking problem tasked with transporting Mos Def’s trial witness Eddie Bunker to court. Problems arise when some of Jack’s fellow officers arrive to kill Eddie and prevent him from testifying. Eager for redemption, Jack decides to take the would-be assassins on and get Eddie to court on time.
A formulaic enough premise, 16 Blocks is emboldened by the fact it plays out in real-time with Eddie required at the courthouse by no later than 10am. In this sense, Donner found himself in new territory with an action thriller that thrives on a unique sense of urgency. 
While the filmmaker is no stranger to the action formula, this setup sees him imbue events with a renewed sense of chaos, as Jack and Eddie fight their way through armed adversaries, busy crowds and bustling traffic, all against a cacophony of shouts, car horns and gun blasts.
Ostensibly a chase movie on foot rather than four wheels, the action traverses 16 blocks in 118 minutes and rarely lets up for a second with Donner proving a dab hand at balancing the action with the engaging back-and-forth between Willis and Def who are both understated yet effective throughout.
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Throw in the ever-watchable David Morse as the leader of the shady cops baying for Eddie’s blood and you have arguably one of the most underrated action thrillers of the early 2000s 
The post 5 underrated Richard Donner movies you need to see appeared first on Den of Geek.
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amandabe11man · 4 years
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all of them
yoOOO New Tumblr™ didn’t notify me of this ask for some reason, so sorry.... anyWAY--
Animated character that was your gay awakening? Does Undyne count even though she’s from a game...?
Grilled cheese or PB&J? I’ve had neither, but grilled cheese sounds much tastier, so I’ll go with that
What show/YouTube video(s) do you put on in the background when you when you don’t have anything to watch but you want something on? Creepypasta-narrations
Your go-to bar order, if you drink? I don’t really drink but I MIGHT if the drink barely tastes of alcohol. So...smth sweet. Or a Mojito... Those are okay
What’s your favorite pair of shoes that you own? My Dr. Martens-shoes that I haven’t taken proper care of so now the leather is cracked.. :I
Top three cuisines? - Fried noodles and such things - My mom’s chicken pie - Lövbiff
What was your first word as a child (that wasn’t a variation of “Mom” or “Dad”)? I don’t think I’ve ever asked my parents about that, actually, so idk. But I DO have a funny story from when I was really small (but still able to form words), and the grown-ups were watching TV or smth and one of them asked me “hey Amanda, what’s the name of the prime minister?” to jokingly test my skills, and i actually answered “göran persson” in my toddler-voice (AND it was the right answer!)
What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had? I’ve barely had any actual employment, but I suppose that me working at a tech company last year (I illustrated stuff and other things) would be kinda surprising, considering how I’m not a fan of new tech?
Look up. What’s directly across from you? An empty cookie jar
Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general? I have managed to gather up some autographs on paper, but one signed BOOK I have is from when I was little, and our family apparently met with Ilon Wikland (an illustrator, mostly famous for her illustrations in Astrid Lindgren-books). me and my brother got a different book each (ones that she had both illustrated) and she signed them for us. I used to love just looking at her illustrations and take in the atmosphere of them. Her art was prolly my first major source of inspiration, even.
Preferred way to spend a rainy day? Stay inside and enjoy the fact that it’s raining. But I also love to take walks when it rains
What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted? Ummm-- melted cheese, if you’re thinking of the same kinda bagels I’m thinking of
Brunch or midnight snacks? Brunch
Favorite mug you own One that has little drawings of tea-related puns on it
What coffee drink would you describe yourself as? I don’t drink coffee so I rly couldn’t tell you, omf
Pick a song lyric to describe your current mood (and drop the name and artist!) Not sure what my mood is, but Bob Dylan’s “The times they are a-changin’” is stuck in my head, so
Fruity or herbal teas? Herbal
What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless? I don’t watch it anymore, but it Vampire Diaries used to be one of those guilty pleasure-shows, lol
That book you were forced to read for class but actually ended up enjoying? Of Mice and Men. And then we watched the movie too, AS IF I HADN’T ALREADY CRIED ENOUGH?!
Do you match your socks? yeUs
Have you ever been horseback riding? yEus
What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc) Most of my phases haven’t really been phases at all, because I’m still into most of those things. I guess my true crime-thing was KINDA a phase, in that I don’t really have the hots for you know.....any of those guys >-->
Have you ever been to jail? Nah
What’s your opinion on Lazy Susan’s (the spinning tray in the middle of tables)? They’re nice furniture to have when playing ACNL
Puzzles? If they’re on easy-mode, lmao
You can only have one juice for the rest of your life, what is it? Bravo’s orange juice
What section do you immediately head for when you walk into a bookstore? The horror section, if the store has one
What’s one thing you’re trying to learn/relearn in your downtime right now? Trying to relearn anatomy, and I’m also trying to learn how to draw Rutger Hauer (still) and play a song on the harmonica
Who’s your go-to musical artist when you’re feeling upbeat? Anything I like goes tbh? But I must say, there’s nothing like dancing it off to some E-Type
Where could someone find you in a museum? At a miniature-display or smth
What’s that one outfit in your closet you never get the chance to wear but want to? My thigh-high socks....
Rainbows, stars, or sunset colored clouds? hMMMMM-- the sunset-colored clouds
If you could own any non-traditional pet (dogs, cats, fish, rodents, etc), what would it be? I’m happy with my rabbits, but idk- maybe a chinchilla too?
Do you have more art on your walls or more photographs? Neither. I’m kinda bad at wall-decorating..
You have to get one meme tattooed on your body, what meme is it and where does it go? “Vem vare som kasta?” tattooed on my chest
Pick a superhero sidekick to hang out with Wolverine, idk
Lakes, rivers, or oceans? All bodies of water are Noice but dat ocean tho
Favorite mid-2000s song? (we’re still IN the same century js) “Temperature” by Sean Paul, I guess??
How do you dress when you’re home alone? Like I normally would tbh
Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)? Either on the couch or by the table IN the living room
Knives or swords? hmmmmM.... Swords
A song you didn’t think you’d enjoy but ended up loving “You Make Me” - Avicii
Pick an old-school Disney Channel Original Movie I haven’t seen any of those, but uh... Northern Lights?
Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online? I prefer captions, yes
Name a classic Vine I’M ABOVE SUCH THINGS (idk if this was a vine video but you’re welcome anyway)
What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store? Ice cream...
How do you top your ice cream? I don’t really do that a lot, unless it’s plain vanilla ice cream. In that case: CHOCOLATE SAUCE MFS
Do you like Jello? I might? I don’t think we have it in Sweden tho
What’s something that you don’t have a picture of that you wish you did? Me meeting Rutger Hauer IRL. (if I actually DID meet him, that is)
How are you at climbing trees? Pretty good until I get tOO high up
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eldritchsurveys · 4 years
Text
655.
-What was the last song that you sang out loud? >> Part of Mirror Mirror by Blind Guardian. -If someone has bad breath, do you tell him or her? >> If they’re in such close proximity to me that I can smell their breath, then they must be close enough to me socially that I would care enough to tell them that they should pop a mint. -With which friend are you most likely to share a secret? >> --- -Do you have an item that comforts you when you are sad/scared? >> I have a bed full of plushies, so I tend to burrow into those. -When are you likely to hide your emotions? >> When aren’t I...?
-Which is scarier: Dying of thirst or of starvation? >> They seem comparable to me experience-wise. I guess whichever takes longer. -Who was the last person to take your breath away? >> --- -When you turn on the TV, what channel do you flip to? >> We don’t have cable. When either of us turns on the TV, it’s either to use a game console, to watch a streaming service, or to play something on YouTube. -Have you ever tried to help someone quit smoking? >> No. -What was the last comment someone made on your music taste? >> I don’t generally receive comments on what I like listening to, unless it’s “me too” kind of comments. -Where do you go/what do you do when you need to calm down? >> I go to my room and do something distracting. Or go inworld, most likely. -What was the last mess you cleaned up? >> I don’t remember. - [TW] Have you ever had to talk anyone out of suicide? >> No. -When you think of tomorrow, what feelings come to mind? >> None? Nothing special is happening tomorrow. -Who, in your opinion, has an amazing voice? >> Andy Kuntz (Vanden Plas). Unfortunate name, amazing voice. -Would you ever camp out on a beach, under the stars? >> Sure, as long as I had good enough equipment to keep the sand out.
-What is the last thing you complained about? >> ESO being down for maintenance. It was over by the time I finished the survey I ended up taking, thankfully. -What was the last curse-word you said? >> I don’t remember. -When you fake sick to get out of school, what do you say or do to convince your parents that you are sick? >> --- -How did you recover from your last bout of tears? >> I just stopped eventually. -Do you still talk to your very first best friend? >> --- -When was the last time something went terribly wrong? >> I don’t remember. “Terribly” is a bit too intense to describe most of the mistakes and mishaps I deal with these days. -How do you console someone when he or she is upset? >> I generally do not take that position at all. -Have you ever seen either one of your parents cry? >> No. -Choose one: Trip to outerspace, or trip underneath the oceans? >> Outer space, thanks. -How often do you feel overwhelmed? >> Relatively often. -How do you deal with everyday life? >> *shrug* -Do you have any secret obsessions or guilty pleasures? >> Nope. -Aside from on this survey, what was the last thing you wrote about? >> I don’t remember. -Who in your family do you act like the most? >> --- -What is the most romantically sweet thing someone has done for you? >> ---
-When you go out to the mall, do people stare? >> Not that I’ve noticed, unless I’m wearing something that is somehow so strange that people can’t contain themselves. Or unless people are staring at me trying to figure out whether I’m a girl or not. Which, you know, happens. -Have you ever been confronted by a mall cop for your behavior? >> No. -What just tears at your heartstrings? >> The plight of Ardyn Izunia in Final Fantasy XV. -Is there a show you swear that you will never watch? >> I mean, I don’t make a point of saying “I will never watch this show!” or anything, but there are plenty of shows I’m just not interested in. -What was the last topic that you ranted about? >> I don’t remember. -Is there someone that makes you feel like you’re walking on eggshells? >> Not anymore. -Were you ever afraid of one of your past teachers? >> Probably. -Have you ever been in a physical fight on school grounds? >> Yes. -Have you written anything in a bathroom stall? What, if anything? >> No. -Is your school like the drama capital of the country? >> --- -A homeless man asks you for 50 cents; how do you respond? >> I usually don’t carry cash, but if I happen to be carrying some and I feel like being generous, then I’ll probably give him a buck. This is, of course, all assuming I even hear him ask -- I’m usually listening to music through my headphones when I’m out somewhere. -When was the last time you visited a thrift store? >> I don’t remember. It’s been a while. -Was there ever a time when you wished you’d never been born? >> Yes. -Can you handle constructive criticism? >> Meh. Most of the time the people trying to give me criticism are people who I don’t care to hear criticism from, so. -Who is the most sensitive person that you know? >> I don’t know. -Have you ever had a tooth (or teeth) pulled? >> Yeah. Couldn’t afford a root canal. -You can have one famous person’s wardrobe; who do you choose, and why? >> --- -When was the last time you wrote someone a note? >> --- -Do you tell your parents before you go somewhere, or just leave? >> --- -What was the last thing you tried to get out of doing? >> I don’t remember. I don’t usually try to get out of doing anything. -On average, how many surveys do you fill out in one day? >> On days when I do take them, I take between one and four. -How many hours a day do you spend on Bzoink? >> I don’t usually spend that long on Bzoink. I’m just there to find surveys to bring here. -Which season do you dread the most? >> Winter. -Do you ever brag about your achievements? >> What achievements? -If someone makes fun of you, are you able to laugh it off? >> It depends on who you are. Sparrow is pretty much the only person who is allowed to make fun of me about whatever she feels like. Certain other people can make fun about certain things. Everyone else is suspect. -When was the last time that you watched the sun come up? >> I don’t remember. -What did you do last Halloween? >> We were in New Orleans, so we dressed up in our new tradgoth outfits and went walking around the Quarter for a bit, then went to Country Club for their Halloween party. And I had two absinthes, as a treat. :) -Last Thanksgiving? >> Went to the Wayland house, as usual. -Last Christmas - if you celebrate? >> Again, went to the Wayland house, as usual. Thanksgiving and Christmas are “family” holidays and Sparrow has one of those, so. -How did you celebrate the arrival of the new year? >> We were invited to a gathering at the house of someone we know from Meetup. -Is there a foreign culture you’d like to learn more about? >> I wouldn’t mind learning about any of them. -Have you ever (purposely or accidentally) played with someone’s heart? >> I mean, maybe? I don’t know. -Has anyone ever played with yours? >> I don’t know. -Have you ever seen a famous painting and thought “I could have done that?” >> No. Either way, I didn’t do it, so who cares? -Fire drills: Did you ever wish they were real … just once? >> No?
-What is the scariest thing about attending your school? >> --- -Are you a good judge of other people’s intentions? >> I don’t think so. I am inclined to suspicion far too often. What was the last thing that you felt strongly about? >> How hot 1980s Rutger Hauer was. -Shopping: best with friends, parents, bf/gf, or alone? >> Alone. Shopping with Sparrow is fine, too. -What is one insecurity you have about your body? >> It doesn’t feel like mine and I’m tired of having to wear it. -What is one part of your body that you are proud of? >> --- -When was the last time someone told you to turn your music down? >> People don’t tell me that. -When you don’t know how to spell a word, do you look it up? >> Yep. -Are you one to spend a lot of time in the bathroom? >> No. I want to spend the least amount of time possible in there. -Have you seen the movie Super Size Me? >> No. -Do you still eat at McDonald’s, regardless of that film? >> I mean, that “docu” is totally a fraud, so, uh. (I never stopped eating at McDonald’s, and if I did, it wouldn’t be because of some movie.) -Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a different race? >> Briefly. -Do you ever consider the challenges other races go through? >> Well, sure. -When was the last time you doubted your abilities? >> *shrug* Always? -At your favorite restaurant, what do you order? >> --- -What was the last thing you wished for? >> I don’t wish for things. -How many times a day, on average, do you look at the time? >> I don’t know, maybe... 10, 15 times? Also depends on what’s going on that day -- if I have somewhere to be, for example, I’ll be looking at the time a lot more to make sure I’m on schedule.
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reimagination · 5 years
Text
Ophelia
The Noise is loud tonight.
I feel my skin a little too much.
"Dancing On My Own" plays on the radio.
I cry because I'm thinking of Carrie Fisher.
I remember exactly the temperature of the water.
Because the water was cold .
And the air was hot.
You said it's better to go when the air is cooler so it's less of a shock.
They whisper to me things.
My nose runs back into my throat.
Nat King Cole sings "Smile."
And I wish I could leave this country.
Should I put rocks in my pockets
Like Virginia Woolf
Who always in my mind
Looks like Nicole Kidman with a prosthetic nose.
I wish I coulda hugged Norma Jean.
I wish I had an answer for those immigrant kids.
I wish I wasn't afraid all the time
That someone might shoot me for being gay.
I found some pills today.
But it'd just be a temporary solution.
Because I ain't have the money for more.
I sing along to "Bury Me Down By the River."
I had a dream I shared jokes with Robin Williams.
Are they coming for me today?
Am I crazy enough them?
I'm a white man in an open carry state.
So do they think I'm gonna shoot them down?
But I don't even know how to buy a gun.
"It only takes an inch of water to drown a bitch."
I've heard him time and again, but it always makes me laugh.
Am tonight I that bitch?
I made fun of myself for being in the hospital.
I painted a picture in the style of Vincent Van Gogh.
I read somewhere that cold showers can ease depression.
I just stand there.
A slightly sulfur rain.
I just stand there.
Rutger Hauer was right about tears.
I can't see them.
But I can feel them.
Each one a ghost of myself.
They may be ephemeral.
But each emotion is real.
I just stand there.
Let the water rush over me.
I kept my secrets to myself.
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highglossfinish · 5 years
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The Hitcher
When Breakdown and I first saw this movie, I was running unspeakably hot by the time it ended. Breakdown obliged me, but laughed at me the whole way through. That was the effect of the Hauer human.
That’s how I’ll always remember him.
Hello! Hello there! Greetings. Greetings! How is it, even when I manage to get here on time, I still have no idea what it is your are showing us? This is... Blade Runner, right? It is. Apparently it's everyone's favorite scene featuring him? But I'm a Hitcher mech, so The Hitcher is what we're watching. I've never seen it, but I'm sure we're in for a treat I heard there was murder involved, and I tend to enjoy that. It is...oh, what would be the saying here on Earth? Gay. Very, very, very gay. Oh, good! Oh, good! Time to stop for the night, dude He is too stupid to learn the lesson. This'll end well. Maybe not at this exact location, however He is absolutely getting murdered. Goodbye, little doe eyed human. This bodes well. This is just going downhill surprisingly quickly. "The guy I murdered" Well, at least he is honest about it. Dear god This would be the time to flee. Or he could crash the car. Take him out along with. Hey Good Hello there! Good boy. Eyes on the road dude ((I was so sad when I heard the news he was my very strange celebrity crush when I was a teen)) uh oh Ah, I see. AT least he's trying ((Is rutger the bad guy in this one? That's him! oh no Oh no He did not lock his car. ew He dind't He did not check the back. *didn't The hell did they feel the need to show us that? This protagonist is not very smart. not really Is it bad that I am going for the bad guy due to the intelligence levels shown High intelligence, smoldering stare... He seems to be enjoying himself. ((so why is he chasing him, I must have missed that part? The fact that he got away probably factors in. Fair enough And he was so rude as to kick him out of a moving vehicle. Now where is he going to get a new stabbing knife? ......I read a plot summary and I'm sorry but I just can't watch the rest, I'll try to be back for the end of the stream just going to leave the tab open and mute it That bodes poorly. That's very fair! No worries! He really doesn't. . . . Interesting. Just how did our friend manage to accomplish all this? Our friend thinks you ask a lot of questions. It cannot be helped, when he displays illogical abilities. He doesn't appear to be human Maybe he isn't. Well the actor doesn't play many humans Who's to say the actor was human? True enough. Not sure what kind of non-human, but I'd believe it ((I almost streamed Lady Hawk yesterday in his honor, didn't have time I have to go, I'll be back soon He doesn't appear to be human Maybe he isn't. Well the actor doesn't play many humans Who's to say the actor was human? True enough. Not sure what kind of non-human, but I'd believe it ((I almost streamed Lady Hawk yesterday in his honor, didn't have time I have to go, I'll be back soon He should have grabbed the shotgun. He has a lot of "should haves." The first of which is that he should have listened to his mother, when she told him not to pick up hitchhikers. He is not a smart kid, it is reckless to trust him to figure this out. Is the reason "Out of all the people I've murdered you have the cutest mouth?" Just what makes a mouth 'cute'? You've never seen a cute mouth? No? Soft. Eminently kissable. You have seen my mouth, yes? Kissing is not something I consider when looking at mouths, and softness is unappealing. I can't speak to what makes a mouth appealing in your universe. Fair enough. Oh, you're not fooling anyone. Is he really going to leave her unattended when his foe has proven to have supernatural capabilities? I'm sure this will end well for both of them. Surely. . . . Well, that's just terrible. Definitely not human. Not a chance. That is just bad policing, when transporting someone you know has killed multiple officers. No one in this movie has done anything that made sense. No they have not. ..... That is it? Really? That's it. and I'm back! Welcome back! Just in time for our closing light note! These recommended videos really are... something? hello! Uh ohhh, I remember thiiiis Oh dear ANYONE WHO DOESN'T LIKE SLURPING, MUTE! """Slurping""" Hahahha Oh my god What the hell are those What? The turkeys? Ohhh. That is... hypnotizingly weird Hmm. ??? . . . Humans. Humans. And that was that! It sure was! Thank you for hosting this nonsense once more. It has been an interesting time. Well, as always, thank you for hosting. A woman certainly was pulled in half between two trucks. My pleasure! Thank you for coming! Goodnight! Good night! It's just not a Knock Out stream without a woman being bifurcated.
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tube-thoughts-blog · 6 years
Text
tube thoughts vol. 2
zero stars - terrible, 1/2 a star - dull, 1 star - folly, 1 1/2 stars - lacking,   2 stars - fair, 2 1/2 stars - decent, 3 stars - terrific
zack snyder's 300: Rise of an Empire *Lady warrior commandeers the battle scenes and saves it from being a male meat fest like the first film.* 3 stars
rifftrax presents "Independence Day" *One way to make this movie more moronic would be if social media existed in its world at the time.* 3 stars with riffing 2 without
Cannon films "Ninja 3: The Domination" *Spunky shinobi, you must avenge me!* 3 stars
Septic Man *Municipal shit-storm* either zero stars for grossness or 3 stars for grossness and surrealness
"The Stuff" a Larry Cohen film starring Michael Moriarty *Ba-da-ba-ba-ba, I'm lovin' it.* 3 stars
Farscape premier episode *Awol from the ratcage.* 3 stars
Garth Marenghi's: Darkplace "The Creeping Moss from the Shores of Shoggoth" *Brocolli from space. I'd thought it had tasted odd.* 3 stars
Albert Pyun's "Omega Doom" starring Rutger Hauer *It's nice to know after we've killed ourselves off, through constant warfare, sentient robots will become gun nuts and start acting out cold war westerns.* 2 1/2 stars
Kenny vs. Spenny: "Who Can Sell More Bibles?" *The Devil is in the details.* 3 stars
Masters of Horror: Clive Barker's "Valerie on the Stairs" *Another bodice-ripper.* 2 stars
"I Spit On Your Grave" uncut 1978 either zero stars or 3 stars
"Beyond the Door" *Paranormal pregnancy with personality.* 3 stars
Twin Peaks: "The Condemned Woman" *Josie and the pine weasels* 2 1/2 stars
Lost and Found Video Night: Vol 7 -- 3 stars
Seinfeld: "The Frogger" *George's high score.* 3 stars
Kolchak, The Night Stalker: "Mr. R.I.N.G." *What's the difference between right and wrong? robot need to know.* 3 stars
Everything is Terrible "The Rise and Fall of God" *Homeschool is the answer.* 3 stars
Roger Corman presents Andrew Stevens' "Subliminal Seduction" featuring Sharknado's Ian Ziering and Critters' Dee Wallace Stone *CD-ROM Inception meets Tommy Wiseau's "The Room"  type inept erotic thriller.* 3 stars
David Cronenberg's "eXistenZ" *Jennifer Jason Leigh penetrates Jude Law's port hole in order to play an addictive and twisted version of The Sims.* 3 stars
rifftrax presents "The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring" *Butter scraped over too much bread.* 3 plus stars with riffing 3 stars without
"Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone" *Han Solo babysits a brat-pack ginger cutie, Ernie Hudson is Lando, and Michael Ironside is a Darth Humongous who believes that Earth Girls Are Easy.* 3 stars
"Riddick" *Robinson Crusoe machismo* 3 stars
Farscape: "I, E.T." *My name is Mud.* 3 stars
Dominion: pilot episode *Bright light city gonna set my soul on fire.* 2 1/2 stars
"Thor: Dark World" *Science lady Padme pines for Adam of Eternia so that she inadvertently stumbles into the evil fudge and awakens the 9th Doctor Keebler Who causes the realms to converge like ornaments on an imploding Christmas tree.* 3 stars
"Priest" *Paul Bettany's Obi-Wan character is disenchanted with his forced retirement  in a Catholic 1984 dystopia and his regret filled dreams lead to the wasteland where his  fallen knights of the old republic partner, a cowboy from hell Karl Urban, lurks about with his horde of bloodsucking bandits and xenomorph vampires. A decent cameo from Brad  Dourif as a snake oil salesman. This movie's biggest flaw is that it forgets  the classic genre work of Sergio Leone,  John Carpenter, and George Miller and instead mimmicks the cliche Matrix ripoff style hack work of Paul W.S. Anderson's Resident Evil flicks.* 2 stars
"Scanners 2: The New Order" *If you get inside me, go gently, and easy on the nosebleeds. This kind of telepathic power in the hands of a fascist P.D., no thankee.* 3 stars
Joe Bob's Christmas Special: Charles Band's "Pets" *Inhabits the same universe as other weird,  dumb kids' adventure comedies like 'Garbage Pail Kids', 'The Super Mario Bros Movie', 'Ernest Scared Stupid', and 'Problem Child 1 & 2'* 1 1/2 stars
Sami Rami & The Coen Bros present "Crimewave" aka "The XYZ Murders" *Reminiscent of the Three Stooges, classic Mel Brooks, 40s cartoons, humorous Tom Waits song tales, and the original SNL.* 3 stars
Udo Kier in "The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Miss OSbourne'  --sexploitation-- *Show me where it hurts. Fill me with  hatred. My pleasure is seeing your dead body.* 3 stars
Masters of Horror: "Right to Die" *The crispy, vengeful ghost of Terry Shiavo.* 3 stars
William Lustig's "Vigilante" starring Robert Forster & Fred Williamson *Regular Joe nihilism* 3 stars
rifftrax presents Ridley Scott's "Alien" *H.R. Giger porn on the sattelite of love.* 3 plus stars with riffing 3 without
Josh Brolin is DC's "Jonah Hex" *Sometimes spooky, often dumb B-western that's sadly too gutless to show any blood n grit. Still it might fit into a marathon of 'The Quick and the Dead', 'Five Bloody Graves',  'Navajo Joe', and 'Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter.'*  2 stars
"Rhinestone Cowgirls" 1982 --xxx-- *Easy listenin' and screwin', plus plenty of other prickly  situations protruding in Cactus Corner.*  2 stars
Kolchak, The Night Stalker: "Primal Scream" *Unfrozen caveman mauler.* 3 stars
"Shogun Assassin" *Daddy day samurai* 3 stars
Monstervision with Joe Bob Briggs: Dino De Laurentiis presents "Orca" *starring Richard Harris as a salty sea-dog, Charlotte Rampling as a sensitive marine biologist, Bo Derek as a sexy shipmate and Shamu snack, plus the indian fella from 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest' lending his wisdom by saying things like,  "The old ways no longer work. Now, even our gods dance to a new tune."*  2 1/2 stars
"Baron Blood" *Decent dubbing, giallo lite, moody nightscapes, cursed castle, creepy stalking.*  2 1/2 stars
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace: "Illuminatum & Illuminata" *Interviewer: Do you believe in the Horned One?  the actor Todd Rivers: You mean the Hoofed One? Interviewer: Yeah.*  3 stars
Beavis & Butthead: "Time Machine" *Butthead: 1832, that's like not now.  Beavis: Yeah, aren't we more than that?* 2 1/2 stars
Twin Peaks: "Wounds and Scars" *"A country habit. We are so very trusting."* 3 stars
Monstervision with Joe Bob Briggs:  Wes Craven's "The People Under the Stairs" *A ghetto version of Twin Peaks' "Black Lodge" where "Hills Have Eyes" type inbred freaks are trapped in the cellar and "Sometimes further in is the only way out." in a twisted Tom & Jerry style game of cat & mouse.* 3 stars
Masters of Horror: "We All Scream for Ice Cream" starring Lee Tergesen, William Forsythe, and the kid from Bad Santa and Eastbound & Down *The Good Humor Man returns from the land of the popsicles to scoop out and dish some cold and sticky revenge.* 3 stars
Gun Fu John Woo and Risky Bidness Tom Cruise present: "Mission Impossible 2" *We've got the cure, we made the disease. Dianetics incorporated.* 3 stars
Tim & Eric present: Bedtime Stories "Hole" *Spitting surreal absurdism sometimes sidetracks the sinister suburban satire.* 2 1/2 stars
MST3K presents: Charles Band's "Laserblast" *Moppy-haired stoner with a muscle-van gets to rain down the fire of the lizard alien gods on his stereotypical 70s burnout and redneck cop enemies in his one horse desert hometown.* 3 stars with riffing 2 without
Farscape: "Exodus from Genesis" *A hot time in the roach maternity ward in the outer reaches of the universe, tonight.* 3 stars
"Saga, Curse of the Shadow" aka "The Shadow Cabal" *Somewhere between Peter Jackson's LOTR and LARPers that run around yelling, "Lightning bolt, lightnight bolt, lightning bolt!"  2 1/2 stars
"Night of the Loving Dangerously" --xxx-- *With the allure of his ever-wanton ex-wife, Traci Lords, private dick, Peter North, is pulled into a web of blackmail involving his ex's new fiance- a perverted CEO  with everything to lose, Jamie Gillis,  his naughty daddy's girl daughter, and gay son's snooping photographer boyfriend.*  2 1/2 stars
Monstervision with Joe Bob Briggs: "Poltergeist" *Joe Bob maligns Spielberg's involvement with a Tobe Hooper horor flick, Heather O'Rourke gives me the sads, an 80s kids bedroom is full of nostalgic shit, the mom looks sexy even with a streak of grey hair, there's some kind of message about the sinister nature of suburban sprawl,  a sassy medium with a drawl steals the show, and Joe Bob ponders the difference between "Go into the light" & "Stay away from the light."* 3 stars
Lost & Found Video Night Vol. 5 *Hot diggity tallyho* 3 stars
"Purely Physical" 1982 --xxx-- *Schmaltzy motel fornicating where the lovers' lips refuse to move when the pillow talk gets filthy.*  2 1/2 stars
Kolchak, The Night Stalker: "The Trevi Collection" *Fashion victims. Some hilariously bad acting from a witch.* 3 stars
"Gallowwalkers" starring Wesley Snipes *Spaghetti vampire western. The kind of movie Blade 3 should have been.* 3 stars
Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back & Return of the Jedi ---despecialized editions--- *Impressive. Most impressive* 3 stars
Monstervision with Joe Bob Briggs: 1954's U.S. version of "Godzilla"  & "Godzilla vs. Mothra" *Tokyo stompin' in a Texas trailer park.* 3 stars
"Manborg" 2011 *Will Ferrell's 'Westworld', Scott Pilgrim vs. Mega City 1, Napoleon Dynamite 2: Judgment Day, Tom Green's 'Total Recall', Jim Carrey's "Battlefield Earth', Sam Raimi's 'Mortal Kombat: Annihilation', Paul Verhoeven's 'Army of Darkness', Patrick Swazy, Jacki Chan, Jake Busey, and Cynthia Rothrock  in 'Revenge of the Sith'.*  3 stars
Masters of Horror: Stuart Gordon presents Edgar Alan Poe's "The Black Cat" *Pluto, the little devil.* 2 1/2 stars
rifftrax presents: "The Last Slumber Party" *More potty-mouthed and homophobic than a Wayans Bros. "Horror" "Comedy" "Movie"* 2 1/2 stars with riffing 1 1/2 without
The Outer Limits: George R.R. Martin's "Sandkings" starring Beau & Lloyd Bridges *Red menace* 3 stars
rifftrax presents: "Battlefield Earth" *L. Ron Hubbard's  The Passion of the Prometheus as acted out by the rat-brained man-animal, John Travolta.*  2 stars with riffing 1 star without
Monstervision with Joe Bob Briggs: Mel Brooks "Spaceballs" 3 stars
rifftrax presents "Fantasic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer" *Fate of world hangs in balance while obnoxious bantering, obnoxious celebrity  style wedding is overshadowing focus, obnoxious background extras actors mug for the camera and stare at the pop culture status heroes, obnoxious twirling mustache Dr. Doom villain moments, obnoxious studio thinking Galactus is a stupid concept and yet going through with having his threat to earth being the plot-- leaving us with a cloud of lame spacedust* 1 1/2 stars with riffing 1 star without
Troma presents: Lucio Fulci's "Rome 2072: The New Gladiators" *Televised brutality in a cyber-disco dystopia where the cities of the future are painfully obvious scale models covered in Christmas lights and dirtbikes along with karate chops are still considered pretty badass.* 2 1/2 stars
--- Game of Thrones: Season 3 episode 1
*The inept, pudgy comic relief gets to stumble around  in the snow avoiding ice zombies,
the dashing dwarf gets dissed by dear old dad,
the high class pimp positions himself near the daughter of the woman who always shunned his advances,
the would be future queen shows kindess to orphans and gets politely scolded for it,
a crow defects to the king beyond the wall,
a fiery zealot harshly deals with infidels,
a shiprecked war veteran brother puts himself back in harm's way to try to talk sense to his witch's pussy whipped brother,
the king of the north returns to his scorched hometown and imprisons his mum there,
a puppy eyed dragon mama sails with her seasick soldiers and goes shopping for baby slaughtering drone warriors while narrowly escaping creepy child with scorpion assassination attempt.*
3 stars
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rifftrax' Mike Nelson riffs "Predator" *"Speak mono-Slavic-ally and carry a big stick."* 3 plus stars with riffing 3 without
George Lucas & Ron Howard present: "Willow" *In order to save a red-headed bastard baby, Frodo Skywalker  fellowships a force of ragtags including a Han Solo in Pocahontas drag, an indian in the cupboard Kevin Pollack,  and a wizard lady trapped by spell in the body of a wombat.*  3 stars
rifftrax presents: "Twilight: New Moon" *A frigid, psycho chick gets dumped by her prissy,  older, unhealthy obsession. she then begins having night terrors ruining  the sleep of her closet gay lumberjack dad. next, she begins leading a lovesick  puppydog around on a leash while getting wreckless on a mopad, attempting suicide  for attention and all before going on a sisterhood of traveling pants adventure to a pretentious Anne Rice version of faggy Europe. 1980s teens were awesome. 2000s teens are awful.*  2 stars with riffing 1 star without
---- monstervision with Joe Bob Briggs:
"Slaughter High" aka "April Fool's Day"
*These jokers aint' f-f-f-foolin'. They like their drugs, they like their sex, they like their cruel pranks on nerds.
Unlucky for them,  their 10th year class reunion takes place at the now abandoned old high school in the middle of nowhere on a rainy night.
It's the perfect setting for an old dark house horror mixed with Agatha Christie style revenge picture.
This is one of the best episodes of monstervision.
It features a classic 1980s slasher flick, it has the original mail girl, Joe Bob skewers the logic of the TNT censors, and he reads an awkward letter from a male admirer named Rufus.*
3 stars
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"A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors" *Freddy flew over the cuckoos' nest* 3 stars
The Outer Limits: "Valerie 23" *Do androids sleep mode with electric wet dreams? 2 be or R2D2? See, I could think of some existential questions to ask my prototype sexbot over a romantic dinner, especially if she were the first sentient being of her kind, and had Hulk strength for no apparently necessary reason.* 2 1/2 stars
Jamie Gillis in "Midnight Heat" 1983 --xxx-- *Rare grime. A gem of a different time. Seedy NYC.* 3 stars
Masters of Horror: "The Washingtonians" *Patriotic blue hairs set their wooden teeth on edge about the disclosure of that rich colonial tradition of chomping on cherry tastin' child flesh.* 2 stars
Farscape: "Throne for a Loss" *Rigel, the royal pain in the rear.*  3 stars
"Hellraiser 2: Hellbound" uncut *The stigmata of Sigmund Freud, from the makers of 'Scratch it, sniff it, squeeze it, suck it,' now available at finer novelty shops.* 3 stars
Twin Peaks: "On the Wings of Love" *Hangover cures, hidden secret half-sister, hallelujah for the hard of hearing, hometown beauty pageant queen hitlist, and hoot owl hieroglypics.* 2 1/2 stars
Monstervision with Joe Bob Briggs:  Randy Quaid in "Parents" *A Norman Rockwell painting hanging on the wall behind the desk at the Bates Motel.* 3 stars
The Outer Limits: "Blood Brothers" *Twelve immortal monkeys* 2 1/2 stars
"Kill List" 2011 -- *This feels like it could be a Garth Ennis story. It has old mates drinking together and shooting the shite about life. It has acts of extreme violence almost to the point  of dark comedy. It has a bleak poignancy. There's also the occult undertones like a Hellblazer comic.* 3 stars
William Hurt in Ken Russell's "Altered States" *Waiting, in a fish-bowl, for Godot.* 3 stars
Kolchak, The Night Stalker: "Chopper" *Stunt motorcycle riding, sword slashing specter with separation anxiety.* 3 stars
Farscape: "Back, and Back, and Back to the Future" *"Psychic Spanish-fly," alien lady combat, genetically structured spy seductress, quantum singularity also known as a blackhole used as a soul saving secret weapon of mass destruction that is seriously in jeopardy of being stolen or accidentally set off."* 3 stars
"The Wind" starring Meg Foster, Wings Hauser, & Steve Railsback *Swept up in stormy solitude and story.* 3 stars
The Outer Limits: "The Second Soul" *Lending our dead bodies, like they were used cars, to alien parasites, leads to some serious moral implications. Feels like a 50s style sci fi message about the dangers of multiculturalism given a more progressive twist at the end.* 2 1/2 stars
"Virgin Witch" --sexploitation-- *Prissy Galore throws a feisty spell when a group of dysfunctional devil worshippers decide they really, really fancy her.* 2 1/2 stars
Van Damme / Raul Julia "Streetfighter" *"Who wants to go home, and who wants to go with ME?!" Self aware dumb fun.*  2 1/2 stars
rifftrax' Mike Nelson riffs "xXx" starring Vin Diesel, Samuel L. Jackson, & Asia Argento *Double Ohhh Seven sez, "Do the DEW, dude."* 3 stars with riffing 2 stars without
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