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myfandomrambles · 4 years

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Character Analysis: Dean Forester (Gilmore Girls)

Requested by: @grouchycritic7794

Facts:

Moved in high school from Chicago to Stars Hollow

Lives with his parents and younger sister Clara

Quickly starts dating Rory

Works at Doose's market

Gets in a few fights

Breaks up with Rory over her refusal to say “I love you”

Gets back with Rory after she is willing to say “I love you”

Becomes deeply jealous over Rory liking Dean displaying unhealthy behavior

Breaks up with Rory again very publicly but continues to display his attraction to her including getting in a fight over with Jes

Doesn’t go to college right away worried about finding a job and succeeding

Dates Lindsy, a girl everyone considers nice

Quickly becomes engaged to Lindsy and marries

Has a turbulent marriage to Lindsay

Works as a construction worker

Cheats on Lindsay with Rory and hides it from Linsday

Has a public break up and divorce from Lindsay

Dates Rory in a strained relationship for some time a

Breaks up with Rory over her changing life and new friendships

Fights with Luke and dismisses his relationship to Lorelai

Eventually moves away

Has a family of a wife three sons and unborn daughter between the main show and AYITL

Analysis:

Dean is a normal high schooler and young adult. His family isn’t particularly wealthy and this leads him to work throughout the show, and he attends the public school away from Rory. He’s athletic and starts off as a sort of bad boy (series 1), he is mostly not that and tends to be more of a homebody and focused on his relationships. He lacks much ambition beyond being a husband and having a partner for much of the show. This is seen in his pattern of relationships but also in his love for the idea of having a traditional family. (Series 1-5)

His emotions often run high but often come off as pretty charismatic allowing people to like him. This shows in the way the town but especially Lorelai changes their view of him rather fast to positive rather quickly. This is in stark compassion to the way much of the town never changes their negative perception of Jess Mariano. His charisma however is dampened by his tendency to be self-centered and not care much for other people's feelings or perspectives.

Dean’s strong emotions are also tied into him being stubborn, and can both positively stand his ground against people like Richard or Tristen but can also cause problems in how he can interact with his partners and people who don’t deserve to be treated poorly like Jess or Luke.

Relationships to Rory & Lindsay

Dean’s relationship to Rory is the most key part of his story in the larger narrative. It’s an interesting one as the writers overall painted him as the “perfect first boyfriend” through the eyes of many of the characters including Rory, but in reality, the relationship is abusive. Dean tends to be possessive, dismissive, manipulative, and overly sensitive. We can also see the effects this has on Rory as he worsens her conflict-avoidance and anxiety. Seen heavily in his yelling and Rory being deeply scared of angering him.

An important to note is their relationship is liked in the town even when they are worried they may have had sex after Rory’s dance. (1x09) Most of the town continues to like Dean and sees him and Rory as a good couple. This includes Lorelai for most of the show. This overall like of Dean and of her being with Dean colors their relationship for the first two seasons of the show and how they interact with Jess.

When those around you reinforce the idea of how good someone you love is it will make it harder to notice the toxic and abusive behavior and give the abuse cover. Lorelai’s approval especially makes Rory feel like Dean is the perfect boyfriend. Lorelai herself is not likely to have toxic behavior as her relationship to Christopher is full of toxic behaviors and her emotional abuse and a child. Lorelai’s multiple episodes of support for Dean even without Rory being there likely make him feel as if he is supported and will have her telling Rory to stay with him.

The start relationship right coincides with the opening of the show. (1x01) He easily charms Rory and this coincides with the start of his possessive behavior. Including how fast he starts the relationship. Intense relationships that move very fast is often a negative sign for the ability of the people in it to moderate their emotions and can be a first abusive move. Rory is very nervous about this showing trepidation to move fast even when she has a clear crush on Dean. (1x01, 1x03-7).

In season one we see him block Rory's path and during the double date episode, he physically moves Rory's head when she is looking back and Lane to check if she is having a good time. (1x05, 1x12). While this behavior is not violent, invasion of space is a huge sign of a lack of respect for boundaries and is part of his overall pattern of abuse.

During the Donna Reed (1x14) story, Dean is very into the ideas of a Donna Reed style lifestyle finding the idea of a nuclear family where his wife cooks dinner very appealing. This is in large contrast to how Rory sees the world. When Rory is upset about his comments about wanting that life he calls it “just a joke”. Rory goes out of her way to make Dean happy while still keeping her own theatrical love in play when she makes him a 50s style dinner. However, an interesting mark is she seems genuinely upset when she thinks it didn’t go perfectly.

Dean attempts to build Rory a car for their three month anniversary and Rory seems overwhelmed by the situation but still finds it romantic. Dean tells Rory he loves her and when she won’t say it back he gets’ very angry with her and is unwilling to understand that it means something more for her to say it than it does for him. And as we understand he broke up with her over this. The giving of lavish presents and his unwillingness to let Rory have her own feelings come across as manipulative. It’s a common abuser behavior to give extravagant shows of affection followed by negative behavior. Dean also shows the abusive behaviors of yelling and dismissal emotions. (1x16)

Dean becomes irritated by the way the town overall seems frustrated with him, though shows concern for Rory when talking to Lane. Lorelai gets the truth out of what really happened when she confronted Dean. However, it’s unfair to Rory when Lorelai sides with him when Rory had all the right to not want to say “I love you” before she’s ready. (1x20)

The first breakup arc ends as Dean confronts Rory after he notices her trying to get the nerve up to talk about it by coming to his house and when she talks about wanting to say something but without saying it during the town meeting. He gets angry at first when Rory still struggles to communicate, and he sees Tristen picking on her by taking her books. But Rory gets out what she needs to say, and they make up. (1x21)

Following their makeup Dean is subjected to having to meet Rory’s grandparents. He tries hard to fit in bus struggles, understandably as Richard is being judgmental of him and working to make him uncomfortable on purpose. Rory and Lorelai both try to stand up for him and Emily is actually pretty affable not considering Dean to be much of a current threat to status or Rory's future.

However, Dean seems to internalize Richard's ideals and statement of him not being enough and turns it into a threat. Stating “He couldn't care less about Harvard” because he can’t go, taking his emotions out on Rory and belittling her deviation to her education. However, he can remember to bring his focus back to where it’s important and apologize though Rory continues to feel like she must apologize when it’s not as much of her fault. This also is part of his pattern of blowing up, apologizing, and then continuing to treat her poorly. (2x02)

Dean is invited for Rory’s coming out ball and spends much of the time complaining about what he has to wear but cares about Rory enough that he goes even when he hates the outfit. This shows how he keeps the relationship going easily, being able to point to all the positive actions. (2x06) One way being him using impactful displays of affection. (2x12) Put this positivity is undercut by his maltreatment of Rory.

When Rory and Tristan play Romeo and Juliet, Rory is scared to tell Dean anything, not only that they had kissed when she and Dean weren’t together and that they are playing Romeo and Juliet. He is resentful about all of it, and while he does say it’s not her fault he does a good job of making her uncomfortable and doubting her. This shows how dean provokes worsens Rory's relational anxiety. Dean shows characteristic jealousy and controlling behavior by injecting himself into the situation and watching the rehearsals. This jealousy and need to watch Rory is common manipulative behavior. It both alters how Rory acts and assuages his fear of being left without him having to regulate his own emotions. (2x09)

Dean shows jealousy towards Jess even when Rory, and he only glanced at each other during the Bracebridge dinner. While Rory is starting to like him she has not yet done anything to warrant suspicion of her faithfulness. Showing suspicions of partners around others is common abuser behavior as it shows insecurity but also makes the abused partner feel as if they are being watched. (2x10)

During the basket competition, dean displays possessive behavior. While Jess obviously wants to mess with Dean and flirt with Rory, Dean shows no ability to regulate his emotions or offer Rory trust and understanding. Along with that he tells her what she can and can't do. He tries to play the boss of the situation to feel powerful. He leaves in anger and Rory tries to get him to understand she isn’t doing anything on purpose but Dean doesn’t listen. He follows this by guilting her for doing the town traditions, something he knows she loves.

This combines manipulation, guilt-tripping, and a degree of intimidation with how loudly he flies off the handle. This causes Rory to believe she needs to calm his temper down. Jess while he is doing this on purpose notes Dean's overreaction and controlling of Rory's.

Dean also goes behind Rory and tries to talk to Lorelai to get her to insert herself between Rory and Jess, something that is abusive behavior to control the environment around the person being abused. (2x13)

Similar behavior of guilt-tripping is shown when Rory wants to spend a night alone and Dean makes fun of her reason and then when she tries to make sure he isn’t mad she says he isn’t. However irritation is exuded via his body language and including him saying he’s a “saint”. This guilt tripping is a common abusive behavior of his.

Dean refuses to let her have her alone at night and this bumps up against her having ended up with people over due to Paris wanting to study and Jess bringing over food. Rory is terrified of telling him the truth, while having just told him that Jess was there for dropping off the food . Rory suffers anxiety provoked by Dean and plays on Rory’s avoidance of conflict. He gets furious when she tries to be truthful, not letting her explain and not believing what she says. After Paris causes Dean to calm down Rory gives him complete cover for being angry saying it was all perfectly justified.

When Rory gets distressed Paris plays the good friend and steps in. Interestingly, Paris who is blunt and self focused reads this situation as one that is worth covering for.

When your friends feel the need to intervene between you're your partner to lessen the blow it speaks poorly of your relationships. Jess and Paris are the only ones who accurately read Dean and Rory’s relationships the first time they date. (2x16)

During the entire Jess arc, Dean tries to be even more involved in Rory's life than he already was, leaving her very little room to breathe. (2x10-3x07)

An example is when he tries to get her to watch him play softball before they had already agreed to visit each other that night. This adds to his attempts to control everything she does. He then tries to wait for her when she’s busy at the house and cleans her car without asking and calling 14 times. Lorelai tries hard to get him to give her space when he gets anxious over Jess and Rory. He then accepts that Rory has some feelings for jess. (2x18)

After Rory ends up in a car accident Dean becomes outraged after Rory writes a letter to tell him to throw his bag on the floor. Interestingly, Rory is surprised that he invites her in and is kind to her. She expects her to be angry and to yell at her. But this is an example of using guilt and manipulation, part of his fear of losing Rory. (2x20)

Rory crosses a line when she kisses Jess at the wedding. We see her try and figure out what to do why she goes away for the summer. Jess and Dean both suffer due to her indiscretions, however, it doesn’t excuse previous behavior nor does it mean you are allowed to be outright abusive. (2x22)

After this, we see Dean’s behaviors continue, and he shows a sense of judgment over the way Rory is excited getting down on her the moment she finally becomes calm and excited after feeling deeply anxious about it. (3x01-3)

Their relationship ends at the dance competition (3x07) Rory is distracted periodically by Jess messing with her. He breaks up with her in an extreme and public manner causing Rory and Jess to both be humiliated and hurt Rory deeply. Rory then feels the need to apologize and try and get him to not hate her following the fight. Which he by omission says he does hate her even though it’s very clear that while she did like two people at once his abusive behavior activates her fears so deeply she still has to prove he doesn’t hate her.

Later Dean takes a confrontation stance trying to get Jess in trouble with Rory trying to pick a fight with him and telling him that this is “his” town and making fun of him for wanting to be nice for Rory which is funny and makes it seem like he wanted the hold on Rory. Reminiscent of the cultural concept of people being “whipped” or similar things. (3x09) This antagonistic behavior continues throughout the story.

Dean is unwilling to really move on and Rory is unable to maintain boundaries. He talks about how she drove him to want to do more and go to a four-year school. This comes across as manipulative because it’s not something we see him follow through with and follows after him telling Jess he wasn’t going to just stay in his own lane.

He then doesn’t give Jess and Rory space at the carnival to start with, even if Clara was still involved. We also see Rory assume Jess will blow up at her afterward even when he maintains his same affect of mild annoyance he had not changed it to try and make Rory feel worse and doesn’t second guess her explanation. (3x10)

We see Dean start to date Lindsay at the hockey game Rory goes to. A relationship that is deeply harmful and likely traumatizing to Lindsay. We know little of how it started other than Lindsay seems to be considered nice but cold to Rory understandably as Dean is still hung up and likely told Lindsay that Rory broke his heart. She isn’t aware of the mess of abuse on Dean's side and Rory’s actions. (3x15,3x17)

We then have the big Dean Jess fight. There is some merit in Dean wanting to know what happened as if a girl comes crying out of the bedroom at a party as there is cause for concern. But what makes this not at a show of compassion and more possessive is in his reaction. He acts as if to defend her honor and get in a fight. This continues his pattern of possessiveness over Rory and of being willing to use violence as a method.

I do think we see some behavior here from jess that’s toxic, it doesn’t fall anywhere near sexual assault and the reactions did nothing helpful. And most importantly had it been sexual assault a person who cared would get the victim to safety and ensure prevention shock not expose them to more violence. Not to mention it isn’t what Rory wants, and he knows she doesn’t like them fighting over her.

This also harms Lindsay as watching your boyfriend get in a fight over another girl. (3x19)

When Dean shares the news of his engagement he is unwilling to even see why Rory might be uncomfortable, not even angry, just confused, and only shows furry towards her. Then uses the time to guilt trip Rory telling her he “never thought he would be happy again” and insult her and her boyfriend. (3x20) Rory tries hard to make up for this by offering a nice wedding present, which was detrimental to both of them as it continues their inability to form boundaries. (3x22)

Dean’s lack of ability to form boundaries flares again when inviting his ex-girlfriend to his wedding with his new fiance. During his bachelor party, he starts talking about Rory and showing he is completely not over her and is marrying another woman to make up for it. This is something that is very unhealthy and is setting up for him to be unhappy, Lindsay to end up being abused and Rory to continue to not be able to move on. (4x04). Dean is willing to offer Rory some comfort in a vacuum. It's kind, but we see this spiral into him trying to bring Rory back into the relationships and affects how attentive to Linsday. (4x14)

We see Lindsay learning to cook and it seems they bring him lunch regularly as he noted this was early. Lindsay clearly tries to be what Dean wanted, learning to cook, bringing him food, trying to be what he wanted and circling her life around him, her whole family treating them as one of them. There might be some tension here as having a hovering mother and father-in-law might be hard, but as later we see him mildly complain about Lindsay wanting things it does show there was financial support. They seem to have an outwardly functional relationship. It’s hard to tell but due to the idea that she doesn’t work and that when she asks for the car he gives her money, there might be an “allowance” type situation, something that can easily turn toxic and abusive.

Rory judges Linsday for wanting a townhouse, which wanting a nice place to live after getting married makes perfect sense. Rory’s level of importance she puts fancy four-year schools on also isn’t the same way everyone thinks. Being a skilled builder who repairs homes is actually a fine job prospect and it always seemed Dean was good at it, we also know that the wife waiting for you at home was what he wanted in the first place. Dean is deeply annoyed at Rory’s judgment when Lindsay hears Rory talking badly of her, she is hurt due to not only Rory's continued judgment due to Dean having gone round her back more than once.

Dean realizes he yelled at Rory in the dorm and apologizes, but Rory says he was perfectly in the right, something she has learned to say from his past abuses. He also does this after calling incessantly, and never changing his behavior. While apologizing is positive if you back it up with nothing then it means nothing, and Dean never backs up his apologies. He also fails to stand up for his wife to Rory, continuously covers up his relationship to Rory already and maked Linsday feels admittedly terrible. Dean disrespects her wishes to not see someone who is judgmental and the ex-girlfriend, a tactic of psychological abuse. (4x15, 4x18)

We see the cracks in Linsday and Dean’s relationship when they fight about never spending any time together. Dean defends it by saying they need money, likely true, but Linsday is asking him to keep promises of calling and going out with friends when he says he will. There are problems in never keeping promises and making someone always wait alone for you at home. It clearly seems they don’t talk openly about finances and by her reaction, it seems this is the first time she has purposely gone out without him. He has lied about where he is before like hiding out in the arcade late previously and later to visit Rory. (4x20)

Dean drops everything to go see Rory when she calls, but never calls his wife along with being willing to spend money to drink with Rory. We also learn that Dean lies to Lindsay. These all show more commitment to Rory then to the woman he married. Everything in this episode points to emotional neglect and abuse through manipulation from Dean. (4x21)

When Jess shows up at Rory’s place (4x21) also tries to play protector and control to Rory just because someone else she used to date shows up. Following this he acts cagey and angry towards her, shutting her out because he guesses she might be seeing Jess again. All of this is reminiscent of his old behavior of trying to orchestrate Rory’s entire life. This also when Dean and Rory almost kiss, showing he uses manipulation as ways to get what he wants. During this situation, he is manipulating and emotionally hurting two women.

Later on the same day, Dean shows up at Rory’s house to finish what they started and Rory ends up agreeing to sleep with him after he lies about it being over with Lindsay and that they both “feel it”. Which is untrue Lindsay while she is unhappy doesn’t believe or so-called feel it’s over. Rory is of course culpable in what she did, this is not to argue Rory is blameless. This behavior on Dean’s part towards his wife is emotional abuse. Cheating on someone and lying about your relationship status are both abusive tactics. (4x22)

During the same period, Linsday was waiting for him and believed he was working. She tries to make him happy by having dessert waiting for him. Lindsay answered her phone to try and help, and he yelled at her overreacting deeply to her behavior. Emotionally berating her for something she tried to do right. Lindsay apologizes trying to get him to not yell at her and tries to ask if he is still mad. And Dean is clearly angry at her giving her disappointed and agitated answers along with closed off body language. This is physical and emotionally locking her out.

Dean continues going behind Linsday’s back and cheats on her again following this fight, at the same point Linsday tries hard to please him, making him food and being so proud when it works out. (5x01)

Rory sends a letter to Dean trying to say she doesn’t want to break up the marriage however this serves to be the first time Linsday learns that Dean slept with Rory. This is a horrible way to learn via Rory expressing both feelings of love and wanting to not break up the marriage. She does dramatically break up by throwing his stuff out the window. While this behavior isn’t the best response it is understandable as he actively lied to her multiple times and treated her in an abusive manner to be able to cheat on her. Dean tries to get her multiple times to talk about it shows he doesn’t understand why she is so hurt and is unwilling to admit he was wrong.

Dean then rightfully calls himself an idiot for what he did but then tells Rory removing herself from the situation was tantamount to bailing on him and rewrites history to say she dumped him the first time. While he is right that she did have feelings for another boy to still be judging her for that after what he did is rather hypocritical. (5x02) He also clearly doesn’t feel as guilty as he pretends to as he still continues to be in a relationship with Rory. (5x03-9)

Rory and Dean’s relationship is awkward for everyone around them, something that makes sense as it broke up the family that everyone thought was being built. Dean continues to be angry, admittedly yells at her, and is judgmental of Rory for what happened. He then apologizes, again without changing his behavior and Rory tries to say it’s all okay. Dean also lies about the idea he would have broken up with Linsday, which we can tell as he was trying to fix it. This is similar to his behavior in their first two relationships. (5x03, 5x05)

Lorelai tries to be friends with Dean and wants to return to a normal rhythm that they had when Rory and Dean were kids. Dean is not a fan of this prospect calling it a long time ago whereas Rory does seem to want it. Luke struggles to not make the evening awkward, not believing Dean is right or good for Rory after everything that has happened. (5x05) They start to grow apart because of their lack of time spent together. (5x03-8)

Their breakup is mostly based on the above-mentioned lack of time to spend together but more, so they grow apart. Dean is still living the life he had before back in what Rory referred to as “the old days'' and Rory is living a new life centered around her grandparents' lifestyle and college. While Rory finds Dean comforting and wants to be with him, she is drawn towards the Ivy League fancy party by her family but also because she genuinely seems to enjoy it just as much as small-town Stars Hollow.

During the party, her grandparents throw to find her a proper boyfriend Rory actually ends up having a great time when she meets Logan there. Logan is a symbol of her love of the aristocratic lifestyle and Dean is her connection to home; this party breaks one tie and forms another. Emily and Richard mostly got what they wanted and Rory did choose the rich boy over the hometown. Dean breaks up with her again publicly over her appearing to have had a good time with new friends and that she is late to be picked up. This is the final breakup in the show and is a final split for the two, recognizing in Dean’s words he “doesn’t belong here [with Rory] anymore” (5x08)

However, there are secondary reasons they didn’t work out. Firstly starting this relationship out by cheating on his wife and being in a place of awkwardness and distress with those around them set up the relationship for failure. Deans toxic to abusive behavior was always going to drive a wedge between them. Dean’s abusive behavior on top of Rory's communication deficits breaks up any ability to work through outside stressors like living a few hours away during the college years. Rory’s fear of upsetting Dean due to his past abusive behavior means Rory is unwilling to address issues point-blank and Dean will only talk about them in accusatory ways.

Dean didn’t fully understand why he and Rory broke up blaming it slowly on Rory “wanting more” and attempts to put his own emotional baggage on Luke when he sees him being in a relationship with Lorelai while working on a house (5x18)

During A Year In The Life when they bump into each other at Doses’s Rory describes their relationship as one that was healthy, positive and says Dean taught her what “safe felt like” an interesting bit of revisionist history. We know for a fact that Rory was constantly on the defensive with Dean and as has been discussed Dean perpetrated many emotionally abusive acts towards Rory and Linsday.

Rory viewed his abusive behavior as the person she wished she had met later but had a positive influence on her. Dean however seems to appreciate this characterization and this is the final closing word on their relationship.

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welcometotheocverse · 3 years

Note

Henry in 2x05 at the dinner at Lorelai's?

Ooooh okay

So Henry’s arrival at Stars Hollow is actually heralded by a fight between Liz and her Current Boyfriend Number Whatever who is at this point helping support the expenses and getting sick of Jess “mouthin off” and both boys “being underfoot and doing nothing half the time but sit around reading they got no respect for me-” ( which is yknow Bullshit bc they’re 17 and 10 but whatever he sucks) And right after there’s a fight between Liz and Jess “Why..hey?! Why are you packing up my stuff??” “You’re going to Stars Hollow. Tomorrow.” “Excuse me?!” “Your uncle Luke, he’ll take ya in. It’s all set up. Oh you boys are gonna love it there-” “Fucking Excuse Me?!!” “Jess can you just for one fucking time-” aaaaand a huuuge ass screaming match later during which he is Very Much Staying In His Room For: “So...I guess we’re moving huh” ( this all happens either before or after Luke is done yelling at Liz over the phone like we see in the episode. Theres just... its a yelling heavy day and then they’re on a bus to the Hollow)

Which leads to him not meeting Lorelai until the dinner because he doesn’t step down from the apartment for the entirety of the first day because of the fight and the whole “being shipped to a relative he’s never met before.” he’s pretty nervous and just stays put where Luke leaves him and also while Luke bought the frosted flakes and “kid food” he didn’t think to specify they were allowed to have it without asking so neither him nor Jess really go for it ( Jess picks him up like a sandwich while he’s scoping the town out) so he’s like really hungry when they go. He’s mostly excited about not having to worry about asking permission to grab food because they were invited and he can just eat what they serve him and also is mildly curious about Lorelai and co. because Luke’s...nice enough and she’s friends with him and the others are friends with her and despite being in a bad mood and not saying much Jess didn’t really say much about her when Henry asked past “she talks a lot” and like everyone talks a lot compared to Jess sometimes so

So they get to the dinner and Henry’s v polite and looking around. He smiles at Lorelai and she at him and his first ( if not lasting) impression of her is “huh she’s actually pretty nice” and like he mostly sticks to Jess because neither’s keen on being apart in a place they’re new at. Unlike Jess though he actually smiles a little when he meets Jackson and Sookie because yeah they’re freaking out about a lemon but it’s...it’s pretty funny. He takes a liking to them and asks Jackson about fruit and is scared kinda looking around and sticking to Luke like glue ( like the questions come out hesitant) but nice to them smiling and trying to talk a bit ( which is like his general setting tbh.)

He sticks with Luke while Jess and Rory meet ( I haven’t decided if Jess asks Rory to bail in this because while yeah he tends to go on his own a lot ( because he doesn’t wanna be around Henry when he can tell he’s angry and also he hated being home a lot and it just became a habit) I don’t think he would do so when Henry’s in a house with A Lot Of Unknown People specially with how I’m interpreting their life with Liz to be in this verse)

The dinner scene is actually v cute with him because it like...takes him by surprise just how homey it all is Luke and Lorelai playfully arguing about the food on Luke’s plate and Sookie talking about this dish and that and Jackson offering up conversation here and there. It’s like a legit family dinner and mostly he’s pretty thrown and sorta just smiles and enjoys it. Rory actually gets him to talk about books since he takes after Jess in that ( though he likes different genres) and mostly he’s just a little kid getting a glimpse at a family dinner and being cute and shy and mirroring Luke ( he starts eating when Luke starts eating he relaxes a bit when he sees how Friendly everyone’s being ect) and coming a bit out of his shell and going “oh these adults are nice and wanna talk to me” and its v cute. I kinda love it. t-t

He’s aware Jess is “getting a soda” but sorta figures Jess either IS getting a soda or is out smoking and will come back so while he’s anxious because Jes isn’t there and he’s alone with people he doesn’t know it’s mitigated by him knowing Jess would not just up and leave with these many unknown people and also like I said they ( Sookie Jackson Rory and even Lore at this point and how homey everyone is and nice and Happy) put him a bit more at ease even if he doesn’t realize it.

I think this is also when some of him and Jess’ past living habits start showing like Henry Demolishes his food but doesn’t ask for more and after exchanging a glance with Luke Sookie offers him more and he -hesitantly- accepts and Rory brings up the books she was reading when she was Henry’s age ( Henry lets it out that Jess read similar books but he likes fiction better and isn’t in a hurry to read Bigger Kid Books even if he Can and Jess ( who always ahead in reading) is always bugging him about how great they are and then Rory goes on a tangent about the merits of Fairy Tales and Fantasy as story telling with Rory doing most of the talking ( and kinda smiling herself at having someone who wants to listen and looks Up to her bc she is the babie mostly in Stars Hollow so hey nice for a change and also she’s just straight up infodumping which is just really fun and even more fun when the person’s interested ( because this might as well be when i mention I hc both Gilmore Girls as ND) ) while Henry smiles again and listens because now he has something to say back to Jess when he pokes fun at his book tastes even if he doesn’t completely catch everything she’s saying bc she’s going full on Future English Major but she makes sure to try to level with him and also wow he really likes Rory and she’s really smart like Jess and she likes him and wants to hear him talk about his books and ins’t that ....that’s really nice and is completely unaware of what looks the adults at the table are giving and its just...Its Very Cute. Listen Im love them.) and then Jackson pipes up ( when he can tell Rory’s losing Henry) with “you know when I was his age mom would just tell us to go run around the farm. We did use to have this ball to kick around though you like outside Henry?” and again Henry’s very taken aback by being Included and talked to like that but it’s?? Nice?? And the food’s nice?? And he’s actually having a good time all things considered and feeling less on guard since he got there and its just A Nice Dinner Wow.

Until Lorelai goes to get the garlic bread/finds Jess.

I don’t think he knows she’s out there talking to Jess or what’s said but with the hypervigilance both Mariano kids have going, he definitely hears Lorelai slams the door ( and he had been keeping an ear out for Jess as well)

I’m not sure if he follows Luke because even if they’re nice he still isn’t in a place he feels safe around everyone or if he gets up After Luke because Jess is missing and a door just slammed and these are things where it’s best to Know What’s Going On And Also What’s Coming but he hears Lorelai’s “that kid is way more screwed up than you think he is.” rant and his opinion of her immediately just falls.

See and here I’m kinda torn because I can see him going “My brother’s Not screwed up! You don’t even know him!” like really upset ( because yeah Jess can be grouchy and moody but Jess Is His Brother and Henry is privy to Why he’s moody and grouchy and specifically “screwed up” are words that really hit a nerve because he’s heard them before from people specifically about Jess and usually it means nothing good for either of them but also “screwed up” just Hurts to hear and Lorelai realizes Henry’s listening and goes “oh crap” and Luke tells him to go sit back down and Then they keep arguing ( though Henry would still listen in on their fight because again Hyper vigilance) or if they just agreed as he watches and then when they hit “Go Find Jess” “Don’t tell Me what to do! I’m gonna go find Jess” Lorelai finally sees him and Then the “my brother’s not screwed up!” line happens

And on yet another hand I also don’t know if he would say it because while “I” would find it cathartic Henry’s character is Highly Not Confrontational like even when he’s not nice he would be scared to confront Lorelai because sassing is Jess’ thing and he’s seen what that can cause to happen yknow? So that I’m a bit fuzzy on.

But either way his opinion of her just kinda really falls really far really quickly ( remembering he was like “oh she’s nice” when the dinner started) and it doesn’t really go away until like after the accident when I have her shape up a bit. It really just sets up Lorelai for him as someone who A) does Not like them ( because to him if she doesn’t like Jess and doesn’t want Luke to take them in then she also must not like Henry and not want Luke to take him in) and B) someone who can Make Luke Send Them Back because their argument reminds him or Liz’ fight with her Boyfriend Number Whatever ( and a lot of past fights like “you know your kids are a hassle Liz.” “that kid of yours’ a fucking punk Liz” “Can’t you keep ‘em out of the house? You know I work all day I pay all the bills-” ) which uh....Ended With him and Jess being shipped to their uncle so it’s not....it’s not great. From then on he’s pretty subdued and only really talks to Lorelai when she inquires things ( and this is the pattern that will continue until Luke and Lulu and Lorelai herself understand some things like he becomes really quiet around Lorelai and Cordial But Monosyllabic to the point shes like “wow they’re really brothers huh” at least once to Luke ( and is a really big contrast to how he is with Luke and Jess and some other people ) and pulls off some incredibly avoidant feats when she comes at the dinner ) and just on top of not liking her a lot from here on out sees her as Someone To Avoid/Someone Not To Be Trusted

Anyways after the dinner all 3 head home and Henry ( when Luke is downstairs doing inventory or counting the till or some other thing) shows Jess the garlic rolls he shoved in his pocket when no one was looking ( another habit he’s picked up) and gives him some and it’s a nice moment between the two. Jess passes him one of his annotated paperbacks in return.

Again ignore the caption gifs are hard to find lmao

Send me one of my OC's + a canon scene from the show and I'll tell you what they do in it/how they fit in

#Henry Mariano #about Henry #thank you for the ask aaah <3 <3 #child abuse implied #to be safe

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