#repost from my old blog*

[thylaseraph]

actually there shouldve been an episode in early s15 where dean and cas catch the same case and they have to grudgingly work together because it’s a tough hunt and dean doesn’t wanna disturb saileen and him and cas are just trying to keep their space (insert personal space callback). like they get separate motel rooms but one night they have to collab on some research so they’re up late in cas’ room. dean is trying hard not to be curious about why his bed is unmade but he sucks at not being a nosy prick so he says “hey [nickname omitted for effect] what’s up with you lately. you sleepin or something?”

cas just keeps his head down and says “or something.” and dean is still brooding because cas is brooding and he doesn’t think that’s fair really, but he’s still dean so his brain immediately jumps to cas is fucking someone!!!! so he says “what, like you’re sleeping with someone?” and cas recognizes that dean is not going to drop this until he gets a real answer so he just gives in and says “no. i sleep sometimes. don’t worry about it.” but he says it in a vicious way to let us know that he doesn’t think dean is actually gonna worry about it because dean is an asshole.

and dean picks up on that and the insinuation that he’s like, mean or something makes him angrier so he snaps “are you an angel or what?” and cas says “or what.” and dean’s like “hey you have to tell me if your batteries are drained or not coz i need to know if you’re gonna have my back if we get into a tight spot” and cas says, in the tone of i-can’t-believe-this-shit-is-happening-i-wish-i-was-dead, “i always have your back.” to which dean scoffs “oh yeah? seems like it. you have my back all the way from fucking wyoming huh.”

and by now neither of them are actually concentrating on research. cas is doing meditative breaths in front of his laptop and dean is still talking, “you’re driving sam nuts you know you just left without a fuckin goodbye—” “i said goodbye.” “—and i know he’s been blowing up your phone and you can’t just fuckin ghost him, you dick” yadda yadda and finally cas gets fed up and he stands so quick his chair flies back and dean is like, great, we’ll fight, at least this is something i understand, maladaptive as shit you know, but he starts to sweat when cas’ eyes start glowing and the overheads burst. then cas goes for his fucked up wings as a show of power but. his grace does that flickering thing and he tires out immediately and even stumbles bc his batteries ARE shorting.

and dean is angry but he’s still dean so he’s at cas’ side in a second to hold him steady sayin “you okay? stay with me man” and cas is just. 1) pissed at dean 2) pissed at himself 3) enjoying the contact but also pissed about that. dean guides him over to the bed but cas is stubborn so he stays standing and rubbing at his temples because apparently doing normal angel shit gives him headaches now and isn’t that fantastic. he looks so tired and miserable that dean forgets to be mad for a second and he just murmurs “that bad, huh?” and cas mutters “yeah.”

dean says, “and you’re out there by yourself,” in the tone of voice that sounds like he’s angry, but underneath it he’s scared, but underneath that he’s actually angry. cas says “it’s not like i want this,” in the tone of voice that sounds like he’s lonely, but underneath it he really really doesn’t want to be alone.

“then what do you want?” dean asks. “what do you want from me, then?”

cas is just studying his face, miserable and all the lines in his face clearer than ever, looking like half of him can’t take the sight of dean’s face which is a winchester face which is a hunter’s face which is a killer’s face which dean never really liked looking at himself. and really the only move is to lean forward so close that cas can’t see his face. and then of course from there it’s obvious enough that he has to close the gap and crush their mouths together in the most desperate sloppy feverish frightened teethclashing please-don’t-leave-me kiss he’s ever had in his long long history of them. because if nothing is real he might as well give this a whirl. because even if chuck is the one who made dean fall in love with cas, it still feels fucking great to kiss him. because dean can’t help himself. he was written this way.

so they kiss. for a few seconds. until cas stops, still against dean’s frantic mouth. and then he pulls back. he still looks miserable, which is worse to see when he can actually meet dean’s eyes. “you’re still angry,” he says. “at me.”

dean almost chokes. “i don’t want to be,” he says. reaching.

cas says, “i wish that were enough, but i—.” and his mouth trembles a little. and dean thought he was dead inside but he can feel another piece of him dying right now. and it hurts to look at cas’ face knowing that he doesn’t want him, that he isn’t enough.

“got it,” dean says. but he doesn’t get it yet. and the kicker is he has to leave cas’ room and go sit alone on the other side of the wall. this is symbolic because even though the divorce ended with cas leaving dean it was very clear that dean is the one who emotionally left cas. it’s a great callback but dean doesn’t even recognize it because he’s neck-deep in derealization. it’ll all click for him in 15x18 though <3

#repost from my old blog #tóxicos….. #destiel #mine

[ryuzatodraws-backup]

Devour

#circa 2022 I think #the band ghost #papa emeritus iv #cardinal copia #repost from my old blog #ghost the band #papa copia

[xmilkwee3dx]

🖤

#me #I pretty much live in big tshirts when I’m home #repost from my old blog

[ghulehhdelightss]

The sluttiest absent father

#repost from my old blog #papa nihil #the band ghost #papa emeritus zero #ghost band #band ghost #shitghosting

[ms-scarletwings]

#dbz shitpost #repost from my old blog #dbz memes #prince vegeta #kid gohan #trunks briefs #son goku #mah memes #my memes #lol

[vampi-fixx]

love bites + love handles

BLEACH; various characters x chubby!reader headcanons

ft. gin ichimaru, Izuru kira, shuhei hisagi, adult!toshiro hitsugaya

tw: 18+ not sfw. all charas are aged up. afab reader. mentions of internalized fatphobia, insecurity, in terms of gin specifically, unhealthy relationship dynamics? (sorry y/n ur man is toxic.) in izuru’s section- mommy kink,, uh lactation, death/dying kink?? idk what i have done lol.

gin ichimaru—;

He likes pet names that point out your chub and veer dangerously close to derogatory i.e. my lil’ swine, my plump dumplin.’ He means these affectionately—or at least as affectionate as he can get—but that doesn’t translate well with his permanent smile, his mocking tone. Even if they weren’t related to your size, surely his delivery would make you wonder if it was something more sinister than teasing. If you ever tell him so, he’s quick to rectify.  

“Aw, don’t get yer panties in a knot~” he says, curling his arms around you, squeezing your middle. Another thing he loves doing. Drawing attention to your gut, even if it does make you flustered. “I’m only teasin’ ya.”

Canonically, he loves Rangiku, and while his eyes are almost always closed, he’s certainly not blind to her assets. He likes someone who can fill his arms generously, who he can sink his fangs into better—it gives him the impression that he owns you more fully.

If you’re ever down about your appearance—whether it be as a result of society’s unrealistic beauty standards, a piece of clothing that just won’t sit right on your figure, whatever—he’s awful at comfort. His nature is to antagonize rather than to soothe. But if you were having an especially bad day, and were ever to ask him if he likes your body, he’ll offer you a rare, genuine frown. “‘Course I like it. Why’d ya’ think I don’t?” If you were to persist, or even go down a spiral of why he shouldn’t, he’ll stop you, his icy gaze cutting through your words. “Not another peep outta ya.’” Before he distracts you. In Gin’s view, you can’t be lingering on certain topics once he’s teasing you again, right? But his teasing will have a little less bite this time, and lead its way to compliments that come across as more genuine than not.

Something Gin might do that confuses you is procuring skimpy clothes or lingerie for you, and leaving them out for you to wear. They’re often a size or two too small for you, and when you try them on, it’s nothing short of scandalous the way it squeezes into your flesh. It makes you wonder if he’s doing it intentionally, and don’t worry—he is. He’s a dick.  His reasoning though, is that he’s quite enamored by the way straps look digging into your shoulders, or garters digging into your thighs, the way you spill out generously from a too-tight corset. He’s all simpering about it too, for instance, watching you parade around Hueco Mundo or Seireitei with a low-cut outfit that leaves your curves to no one’s imagination. In his defense, he can play the role of the “concerned,” “protective" lover in public if you get flustered, dragging you back home by the waist as he tells you, “Ya’ silly thing, why’d ya’ even go out wearing tha’ kinda stuff? Ya’ know what a sight ya’ are?” Hmm, I wonder why. At some point, you can’t trust his choices, and you have to hide your clothes from his alterations. 

During sex, he likes having you on top so he can see your softer parts jiggle. He also enjoys seeing his fingerprints left on your skin, and is quite enamored with the marks tight clothing leaves on you. He may or may not pinch your fat rolls. He’s awful. You should break up with him, Y/N. If only the crazy dick wasn’t also good.

izuru kira— ;

Izuru thinks the world is a harsh and unforgiving place. The exact opposite of you and your body, and thus you become a sanctuary of sorts for him. He’s reverent—your entire body is as soft as a pillow, and he’s in desperate need of coddling from the world. What’s not to love?

Izuru especially likes running his hand along the dips and curves of your body when you’re bared before him, likening it to nature, the divine, his muse. And with him sweetly murmuring how you must have been spun from the gods’ silken hands themselves, how can you feel anything but beautiful?

Insecurities are undoubtedly a part of anyone with a body’s experience though, and if you’re ever particularly down about your appearance, Izuru is aghast. He assumes he’s at fault for making his muse think they’re unappreciated. He’ll show you some of his more, ahem, embarrassing haikus about you. If you want, he’ll even give you a mini performance, replete with his flushed cheeks, his gaze nervously darting to yours to gauge your reaction. Writing poems about you in secret is one thing, but having to perform them in front of you? If he didn’t love you so much, he thinks he could die of the embarrassment.

He accepts that there are things you’ll always dislike about yourself. If he were to list his own shortcomings, it would run miles. Izuru always lives in some kind of self-hating despair, but you—you’re his light. He hopes that by showing you how much he adores your body, you'll also come around to it.

If you’re ever pregnant and/or lactating, Izuru would love to suck on your breasts. Mommy kink confirmed. Even if the topic of trying for a baby baby has just been breached, you’ll sometimes catch him staring longingly at your breasts, before catching your eye and coughing, acting like he’s not. He’s mortified to admit just how... arousing he finds the thought of potential changes to your body.

Speaking of kinks, dying and other morbid things is something Izuru muses about often, but when it comes to you, something about these thoughts turns almost naughty. He’s embarrassed to admit it, but he thinks about being suffocated by your chest, or to suffocate with his face buried in your folds, your thighs caging his head. Sometimes these thoughts get him hard—dying is inevitable, and is a constant presence in a Shinigami’s life, but the thought of dying while wrapped up in your loved one? It’s somehow hot. Izuru is a bit too shy to mention these thoughts to you...

shuhei hisagi— ;

If you’re chubby, Shuhei finds the experience of going down on you even hotter. He’ll get nosebleeds at the thought of your thighs squeezing his head, his nose pressed into your slick folds until he can barely breathe, his hands coming up to grip your thighs as he groans at the give of them. Certified sub status.

Speaking of thighs, he loves to fuck them. Something about the thought is just hot—him squeezing your thighs together, his voice husky as he tells you to keep them clenched tight for him... good, just like that. Especially so if the head of his dick peeks through between them. He can literally cum from just that, his breath hitching at the sight of his seed streaked across them. It just makes him want to lick them even more.

Shuhei also kinda—don’t let him know you’re onto him—but when he’s really stressed from Seireitei Weekly deadlines, from his lieutenant duties, from seeming to run everything on his own? If you two are sitting on the couch together, he’ll just bury his face in your chest. It becomes a habit, and once he’s gotten over his hesitation, he’ll ask you for the boob pillow. Sometimes, when he’s so tense from everything, he’ll complain this way only, into your chest where it’s muffled and he doesn’t feel quite as much of a whiner and all he can think about is how soft you feel around him. You rubbing your hand through his head and listening to him complain is a nice touch.

He really likes hitting it from the back, where he can watch your plush ass bounce when his hips meet it. Also you on top, so he can see ever part of you.

His favorite part about you is how soft you are. Your tits pressing against his chest when he hugs you, the way he can dig into the softest parts of your thighs. 

He would love it if you ever asked him to pick your outfits for the day, or week. He may not look it, but sometimes he sees a cool jacket or top that he thinks would love great on you, but he doesn’t wanna come across as  weird and tell you how to dress. But he’d jump at the opportunity. Surprisingly his eye for fashion is pretty good, and he loves to get you punk outfits that compliment his.

toshiro hitsugaya— ;

He is traumatized from Rangiku’s boob smush. That being said, he does his best to ignore said assets from anyone, even if they are noticeable.

To be honest, it doesn’t really register to Toshiro that you being fat is something you should worry or be insecure about. If you mention it, he’ll blink and be like, “Yes. Your point being?” Truly, he thinks that appearances shouldn’t matter. He’s quite defensive about it, considering how people used to judge for looking too young for a captain.

If you ever mention being insecure, he’s conflicted. He wants to tell you that you’re perfect to him and you have nothing to worry about. But at the same time, he can’t quite bring himself to admit that. Toshiro’s tendency for bluntness and raw honesty is quite clumsy when it comes to declarations of affection. So he settles for showing you instead--with a fierce kiss, his arm tugging you forward

“Don’t be stupid,” he says sternly. “You’re per--fine just the way you are.”

He does try to show you how much you mean to him. Perhaps by upping the physical affection, which is a huge deal for Mr. Frigid and Icy. He’ll initiate hugs from behind, even in public.

If you continue to be insecure, he suggests--and he means this with no ill intention--some guides and strategies for self-love and shit. He finds it cheesy but he really wants to help you, while also not wanting to coddle you? He’s definitely had to look up research guides to relationships before, so he figures that’s a place to start.

As an adult, he’s pretty lean, so he also appreciates the size difference. Toshiro doesn’t treat you differently, hauling you onto his lap in those rare moments when he’s tired from paperwork and wants a pick-me-up, and has stopped giving a damn about decorum. But just picture grumpy Toshiro, nuzzling into your chest, asking for “Five more minutes,” because the feel of being wrapped around is much better than his hand cramping from all the papers he’s had to sign off of.

Ah. I’m loving the idea of Toshiro with a fuller boo and doing cute domestic shit. You feeding him curry you made while he hugs you from behind and complains that it’s too spicy (it’s not; he just has a piss-poor tolerance for spice). Napping with Toshiro on the couch on his day off and he cracks an eye open, a small smile curling his lips at the sight of you as he wraps an arm around you. Toshiro glowering at you when he’s in the rare mood for affection and you keep darting out of his grasp, until he pins you against the counter and steals a kiss from you while grumbling, “Finally.”

Rangiku thinks you’re the cutest couple, and definitely does her best to catch you two in the act of doing, what she deems, “cute couple activities.” More than once she’s walked in on you sitting in Toshiro’s lap, not even doing anything spicy, but just playing with his hair. It’s cute. She has totally taken blackmail pics. In her defense, her taicho never looks that soft with just anyone.

Body worship is big in the bedroom. Toshiro’s cold lips trailing your skin, his gaze heated. He may not be the best with words of affirmation, but he’s content to show you like this how much you mean to him.

#bleach x reader #hisagi x reader #toshiro x reader #izuru x reader #gin x reader #bleach headcanons #bleach smut #not sfw #bleach thots #tati writes #repost from my old blog

[minhyungsluvr]

00 Line As Big Steps In A Relationship

Renjun | Being Someone’s Emergency Contact

The last time you talked to him was early that morning, it was now getting close to midnight and you hadn’t even received a text back from him. Of course you overlooked it understanding that his schedule was always busy. What you didn’t know was that he decided to stay back past the practice time to make sure he remembered the dance of their upcoming comeback. His body was already tired from the previous schedules, but adding hours of repetitive steps added to it. By the time midnight hit he could barely stand up, he was breathing heavily and the room around him would not be still. He doesn’t even know how he got out of the practice room or how he ended up at the hospital. But he does know your face was the first one he saw when he woke up. Lips pulled in a tight pout as you stood above his bed. As soon as you saw his eyes open you were fussing over him, telling him to take better care of himself and asking why he was practicing so late in the first place. He couldn’t even focus on what you were saying though, he was trying to figure out how you knew he was here. Voicing his question aloud seemed to be the only thing to stop your rant. A wave of shyness took over your face as you answered, “you had me as your emergency contact”. Suddenly he was blushing with you.

Jeno | Attending A Work Event Together

You didn’t like bringing dates to work events, strictly because they never lasted long and you didn’t want your coworkers in your business asking what happened. But with Jeno, you wanted him there. You wanted to stand in the corner of the office and giggle to each other about your other coworkers, you wanted people to come up to you and ask who he was just so you could grab his hand and introduce him as your boyfriend. And more importantly you wanted to see him dressed up in a suit. You don’t know why you were so nervous to ask him, going to an office party with you probably wasn’t a big deal to him. Yet every time you worked up enough courage to ask him to go it turned into you talking about something random you saw that day. Now it was the day before and you were panicking. You haven’t asked him to go with you, and for the first time you don’t want to go to this office party alone. Unsurprisingly as soon as you asked he agreed. As you asked him all he could focus on was the cute tremble in your voice and the way you couldn’t meet his eyes as you asked. He could tell how important this was to you. And he could see why when you walked into the office hand-in-hand with a large lovesick smile on your face.

Haechan | Having A Drawer At Your Place For That Person

Sleeping over was nothing new for the two of you, you slept over so often that there was a pile of your clothes sitting on his desk ready and waiting for you to use them. You’d only been dating for 8 months, he couldn’t help but wonder if putting your stuff in his closet was moving too fast. Though everything that happened in your relationship was fast paced, so surely this wouldn’t be too much. It started small, hanging your sweaters up next to his. Then it turned into obvious stuff, keeping an extra toothbrush, and even having your favorite brand of toothpaste. It didn’t even dawn on you until you walked into the bathroom one day and saw a toothbrush, that happened to be your favorite color, sat on top of the toothpaste you used all the time at home. Seeing it made you feel giddy, to the point where you forgot what you went into the bathroom for and immediately went on a hunt for the man you know was responsible for it. When you entered his room he could already tell from your barely contained smile what was up. If you were acting like this over toothpaste he couldn’t wait for you to find the jeans and folded up shirts he had put in a drawer just for you.

Jaemin | Meeting His Friends

He had talked about his friends so much to the point where you felt like you knew them yourself. You knew meeting his friends was a big step for him, so you made no moves to pressure him. Instead you listened intently to every story about them he told. You didn’t know that he’d been secretly planning a day for you to meet them. You had slowly become one of the most important people in his life over the time span of a couple of month, how could he not want you to meet his friends. And it was the best idea he ever had. Watching you interact with them was a gift within itself, but seeing you actually get along with them and exchange numbers to be able to hang out again made him feel a different type of fuzzy. He thought that maybe he’d have to be the one to keep the conversation going, or that you’d only be at the restaurant for a couple of minutes before you got bored and would want to leave. But neither were the case. You held your own, keeping up with the jokes, being able to throw some back. He couldn’t wish for anything more. Now the only thing he has to worry about is his friends wanting to tag along on your dates.

#repost from my old blog #neoturtles #nct scenarios #nct fluff #nct imagines #nct dream imagines #nct dream x reader #nct dream fluff #nct dream scenarios #00 line scenarios #00 line reactions #00 line x reader #00 line fluff #Renjun Scenarios #renjun imagines #renjun fluff #jeno x reader #jeno scenarios #jeno fluff #jeno imagines #jeno drabbles #haechan fluff #haechan imagines #haechan scenarios #jaemin imagines #jaemin scenarios #jaemin fluff

[thylaseraph]

JANUARY, 1995

It’s a shooting day and Dean’s ears are ringing with the pop of the .22 that’s growing heavy in his hands. At Bobby’s house he always has to wear earmuffs when he shoots; usually Dean complains because they look stupid, but right now his ears are so frozen he’s wishing he had a pair of his own.

He points the muzzle at the ground and shakes his head out, cupping a stiff hand to his cheek. There’s exactly zero blood flow happening in his face, and the cold makes each shot ring out so loudly he has to try not to flinch. And his socks are wet. Pretty miserable shit.

John’s on his way back from replacing the target, face grim.

“How’d I do?” Dean calls. Too loud, judging from the way his dad scowls.

“You’re blowing through ammo and you only got six on the page.”

Dean slumps. “Crap.”

“Yeah, it is. You need to get your shit together, I can tell your heart isn’t in this. You reload yet?”

Dean sniffles, even though he can’t feel his nose, either. “No.”

“No?”

“No, sir.”

“So get going. Show me you can do better.”

Dean’s fingers feel like ten useless icicles. He slides the chamber open and clink-clink-clinks ten bullets inside, then carefully closes the action. The Beretta is a testy bitch that jams constantly. Dad only trusts it for training and seems likely to chuck it soon.

He barely seems affected by the chill. Mostly he looks bored. “Go on and take a few steps forward. Ladies’ tee until you get ‘em all on the page, and then we’ll think about moving you back again.”

Dean’s skin crawls with embarrassment and he wants to protest—he could do better if it were warmer and if he weren’t so tired already—but obediently he moves closer to the target.

“Alright.”

He raises the gun and clicks the safety off. He’s probably more cautious with it than John cares, but he’d rather be safe than sorry.

The target is a sheet of paper with orange circles pinned to a stump surrounded by casings. He lines the center up in his sight and then aims a little lower to compensate because the Beretta shoots high. God, if Dean could get his hands on that ivory-grip Colt, he’d die happy.

He empties her out, gets about nine bullets on the page. Four of them land tight in the center. The stray shot is only because he overcorrected his aim at first.

He turns back to his dad with a grin on his face, feeling pretty proud. There’s a pleasant buzz of warm feeling in his nose and eartips along with the ringing in his ears as he traipses back to the ammo box. “Not so crappy, huh?”

John shakes his head. “Dunno where you learned to be such a brag.”

“What am I supposed to be, humble? Pass.” He squats by the box, breathing on his numb hands before delicately picking up the bullets. “Hard pass.”

“Being humble is what keeps you alive. Nine out of ten only seems good on a target that doesn’t move. It isn’t your best—or it shouldn’t be.” John’s silence is as unforgiving as his voice. Dean watches his words sink through the winter air like smoke.“We stay here until you can actually hit what you’re aiming at.”

Through no fault of his own, Dean’s mouth is suddenly letting loose the complaint he’s been trying to hold in. “Come on, give me a break, Dad. It’s freezing, and I’m tired, and I’m about to have frostbite on my carpal tunnel. I feel like I can barely pull the damn trigger!”

His father’s boots crush against the frozen ground louder than a gun. He looks up quickly, stomach dropping. Dad and his rifle make a stark silhouette against the cold white sky above.

“You don’t ever speak to me like that again. You sound like your brother, like some insolent child, not a man I’d trust with my weapon. I know I taught you better than this. When lives depend on you, are you still gonna be making excuses? Are you gonna be whining about the weather when it’s your bad aim that gets somebody killed? Is it gonna be the trigger’s fault when you get yourself killed?”

“No, sir,” Dean replies, heart beating in his throat.

“You’re laughing, you’re fucking around, I can see you’re not taking this seriously. You still don’t understand the stakes. Think about Sam—you know whose fault it’ll be if you can’t take care of him or the lives you say you want to protect?”

“My fault, sir. Dad, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t say sorry. Don’t be begging for respect when you haven’t earned it. The only reason we’re still out here is you. You being cold and tired right now is on you. This is all in your control. Your life is in your own hands, nobody else’s. Do you understand that?”

His eyes are so heavy.

Dean nods and looks down, unable to speak. He is so stupid.

The dry air is hurting his head; he won’t be surprised if they get back to the cabin and find Sam with a bloody nose. Kid’s got a fragile sinus. The sooner Dean makes this, the sooner they can get back. He loads fast.

“Sam told me that you went hunting,” John says, tone slipping back to conversational.

“Yeah,” Dean says, grateful as he slides the clip home. “Bobby showed us how to do animal calls.”

“Being able to hunt and eat what you’ve killed is important. For when you have to keep yourself fed, but for building character, too. A hunter should be able to hunt.”

“And fish,” Dean adds. “Hey, we should go again soon.”

John nods, the barest hint of warmth. “My point is, everything you need to survive should be in your power. Your gun is your second most important tool after grit. Even when you won’t know if you will survive, you have to know that you can survive.”

Dean nods, and after a few seconds of silence, he supplies, “Bobby makes good venison chili.” He doesn’t mention that Bobby specifically said John was not invited to any of his suppers.

“You get one?” John asks. “A deer?”

Dean stands slowly, thumbing the safety. He doesn’t click it off, yet, and he keeps it pointed at the ground. Like Bobby keeps cussing him out about. “Not yet.”

“Why not?”

Dean’s mouth is sour, the pit in his stomach is growing again, and somehow he’s sweating. John sounds like he knows the answer why.

Dean clicks the safety off and Dad doesn’t even look twice, just waits. Dean walks back to his spot and gets into position. Behind him, John sighs. He sounds so tired.

“If you can’t even kill a deer, how do you think you’re gonna be able to shoot things that look human?”

Dean aims at the target and tries to breathe. The freeze is in his lungs, now, January’s teeth seizing his insides so every inhale is sharp. The target wavers in his sight as he tries to keep his hands still. It’s just an orange circle. Just a tree stump. Just practice, so he’s fine.

He exhales slowly, finger curling around the trigger. He’s fine and he’s got this.

“I mean, what am I supposed to think, Deanna,” John says lowly, voice pinched with disappointment, “you tell me you want me to treat you like a man, but you can’t even—”

Dean fires, ten rounds in steady, thundering succession until the ringing in his ears drowns out the sound of the chamber clicking empty.

The target is in tatters. He thinks they all landed.

His chest is still tight, and raw, and like maybe something has shaken loose or broken free. With shaking hands, he zips up his jacket, and then he turns and walks to his father’s side.

“It’s Dean,” he says thinly. He clears his throat and adds, “Sir.”

John’s looking at him and Dean can’t make out what’s going on behind his eyes. After a moment he nods, and then jerks his head toward their gear. “Pack up.”

As Dean’s cleaning up—collecting fallen casings and discarded targets, and making sure every gun is unloaded and every safety is on because Sam always pokes around even when they tell him not to—John claps him on the shoulder. His voice is soft again.

“I’m just worried about you, I need you to know that. I want you to be able to take care of yourself and Sammy when I’m not around. This world is mean, and cold, and it’ll tear you apart. I can be hard on you kids…I push you too hard, I know it, and it still won’t be enough to keep you safe. And that kills me.”

John cups the back of his head. Dean meets his eyes and sees a world in there that he can’t begin to fathom. “You did good today, Dean, really good. I don’t want you to think I have any doubts—about how strong you are, and how brave. And I trust I can depend on you, son.”

Somewhere inside Dean, a knot loosens, like he’s finally been allowed to breathe a little. It’s good.

#repost from my old blog #trans dean winchester #transphobia #misgendering #deadnaming #parental abuse #verbal abuse #forced masculinzation emotional stunting meow meow meow #bound for the floor by local h released 1996 changing nothing in deans life but becoming a soundtrack #dean: i earned respect! john: if i push him hard enough he will kill so good :3 #ficlet #supernatural #trans dean #cw misgendering #tw misgendering #deadname #tw gun mention #tw gun use #mine

[ddogdeath]

#my art #repost from my old blog #tw vent #vent edit #vent art #falling apart #abandonment issues #abandonment trauma #trauma vent #depressing shit #depression vent

[motherfuckingmaneater]

Rodolphus, looking for Bellatrix: where is she? Where’s the soul sucking she-beast I call sweetums?

#repost from my old blog #he has a point #bellatrix lestrange #bellatrix black #bellatrix black lestrange #bellatrix x rodolphus #rodolphus lestrange #belladolphus #incorrect deatheaters

[ms-scarletwings]

Upon finishing S3//Ep2 of Moral Orel, “Innocence”, Orel’s morals finally clicked for me

As happens in a show this narratively rich, I looked around at some of the close-by chatter under comment sections. People were making these observations about how Orel seemingly just goes out of his way to interpret all of the lessons he’s given in the least charitable and most nonsensical way. Not an invalid view, and for the first good part of the show, you think this is just the function of an over the top comedic bit for the formula of each episode. It’s easy to ask how on earth a seemingly kind hearted, well meaning kid like this can be THAT devoid of the basic logical implications of what he hears, or any common moral intuition that virtually everyone has, right?

Orel’s not a stupid kid. But the entire problem with him up to the point thus far is that he legit DOES NOT in fact have that intuition we expect most people, even children to have. That knee-jerk repulsion to obviously harmful actions. That really vital sense of conscience. No, I don’t mean he’s some kind of psychopath. He has a bright and almost sickeningly sweet heart and it was part of how he broke the cycle despite everything. I mean that Orel has not had a coherent moral compass modeled to him through his earlier development. His ethical axioms are ALL rooted in divine command theory. To put it simply, he doesn’t believe “god is good”, he believes “goodness” itself is “what god says is good”. Most Christians, hell, most religious people generally do not literally, consciously operate in this way, and usually even the ones that do are (mostly) still functionally average people, because usually they were at least consistently conditioned to believe that axioms like human well-being are what God commands. To at least a fortunate degree, human empathy and socialization usually is allowed to and even encouraged to develop under mainstream religious upbringings.

You notice the glaring difference though when you see what happens to people who are molded entirely by Divine Command Theory and then become convinced that their God’s divine command is something that doesn’t happen to line up with conventionally good ideals, like those given earlier. This is what destructive cults do. This is what makes crusades. This is what causes anti-sodomy laws and stoning people to death for eating the wrong kind of fish or not wearing the right clothing to happen.

Understand that this is the hinge that Orel’s whole sense of right and wrong up to this point swings on. What it means is that this little boy can, and will, justify or excuse any and all directions given to him so long as he trusts the adult talking to him as someone who speaks for God. This combined with his craving for approval, plus the fact that he’s also had it drilled in his head to never question or doubt his elders’ wisdom makes for a child zealot that is dangerously easy to manipulate to do ANYTHING and with fanatical determination. It is less than no additional help that the Puppingtons (and the majority of the townsfolk) have never been golden examples for healthy social modeling, as well. Like, sure, he’s getting glimmers of actual goodness in there such as the Jesus loves you so love yourself and help thy neighbors messaging, but it’s being inconsistently contradicted by and juggled alongside at same hierarchical importance as “lessons” like beat the shit out of people who make fists, segregate the brown people, and be terrified of the same authority you expect safety and comfort from. Why on earth is it shocking that Orel seemingly has no sense of scale or priority when it comes to the rules? The rules he’s given are subject to constant and chaotic updates and are all treated with the same gravity. Follow X and you will be promised infinite reward. Disobey X and you will be met with infinite retribution. Not just even in a spiritual heaven and hell sense, but here in life too. Clay delivers the same punishment for getting hooked on crack or becoming a serial rapist that he does for the “sin” of using slang vernacular and meditating to relieve stress.

Everything that defines his life and virtues is a matter of constant anxiety and eagerness in order to appease a patriarchal tyrant that is portrayed as both ultimately benevolent and wise,

yet incredibly vindictive, sadistic, irrational, and petty.

And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this description can equally apply to Moralton’s conception of God and a certain alcoholic father.

No kidding when I say that Orel has so little consistent input to actually steer him in the right direction that it’s incredibly sad, to the point where he’s extremely fortunate to actually have such an optimistic and compassionate inclination at all. It only seems ridiculous how he can’t see obvious suffering and even personal detriment as any red flags to hesitate or question an action, until you remember that he’s so been domestically broken by Clay and his church that his Pavlovian response to pain is either gratitude, mild inconvenience, or, masochistic euphoria.

Nonetheless, all of this only backfires on every adult in Moralton because the one thing they can’t control or account for 24/7 is exactly how he interprets what they say, even when he’s trying his best to follow their command. It’s like a twisted Amelia Bedelia situation with him that no one actually wants to deal with, even though they all (except Stephanie) collectively played a part in creating this monster.

Censordoll was the first one who was smart and ambitious enough to see the potential for Orel’s blind subservience to be weaponized, and of freaking course she was.

Thing is, you bet the ONLY reason she stopped was because she also lost control of him, and we all know what the consequence of that was. He unintentionally yet absolutely destroyed her in the only weak point she has, yet exactly like Clay did during the “turn the other cheek” incident, she trapped herself in a situation where she couldn’t swallow her own pride in the name of reversing the damage.

What I guess I’m explaining here is that Orel’s collection of constant shenanigans, unknowingly, yet effectively, is literally a manifestation of the community’s own complete moral bankruptcy biting them back in the ass, and possibly even a divine punishment for it, depending on how you interpret the writing. Which is a HELL of a phenomenal, subtle twist to his whole premise that doesn’t abandon the original joke/satire, but instead builds upon it and adds a chasm of depth and intention.

PRETTY GREAT, HUH?~

#moral orel analysis #orel puppington #moral orel #scarlet talks about things #repost from my old blog #the old one was unable to be searched on my end 😒

[littlesparklee]

#repost from my old blog #mine #kate moss #coquette #diet coke #Kate moss diet coke #lana del rey #girlblogging

[u3vo7]

#repost from my old blog #i deleted it (my old account) bc I wanted to rebrand LMAO #anyway #my meow meow man #resident evil 4 #resident evil #leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #resident evil 4 remastered #resident evil 4 remake #re4 #re4 leon