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#really earning my money rn
summershouto · 10 months
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it’s super silly saturday
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apollo’s confidence in court: oh my god i’m the worst lawyer ever my client is going to go to JAIL because i can’t even do my JOB
apollo’s confidence outside of court: i’m the only smart one here, i’m the most normal guy in the world and NO ONE is doing it like i am, investigations are EASY, klavier gavin wants me carnally
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siriuslynephilim · 1 year
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spending my whole life trying and trying and trying and trying to be good enough for people who don't give a fuck about me
#im so tired living seems pointless why am i doing this what is the reason#the firm i work at is going thru a merger so it's releasing all the interns except 2#i went into her office and said that id like to stay here bc my dad said so bc i got in cause he was friends with the head#and she said ill think about it based on performance ive not decided yet#and this other guy he went in to tell her that cool he'll leave and she told him that she was hoping that he'd stay#he literally does nothing but play games on his phone he doesn't work at all#i have no idea what he has that i don't#but just. im stuck like this forever right never ever good enough for people i like or care about#not for parents they have a diff fav child not for ex gf not for bestie who has a boyfriend much better at loving her than me#not for that one guy who rejected me in interview bc i don't read the newspaper and didn't know the date of the finance act#im so fucking sick of this i never even wanted to this fuckinh course and obviously even my best isn't enough and ofc im not good enough#for anyone in this field and ill just struggle and struggle and struggle all my life just to earn some fucking money so i can live away#from my sociopathic parents#and the worst part is that i can't stop feeling like maybe it IS me yk maybe i am the problem maybe im not trying hard enough#but how else am i supposed to handle this i prioritize my studies and lose all my friends i prioritise my friends and fail in d#exams#and the trauma keeps on coming every fucking day bc sociopathic parents but i jsut push it down and say not rn i will cry at night anx then#never cry#i wish someone would just tell me that idk you're wrong you're not made for this you really do have some mental illness and you're really#trying your best and do something that's easy and that you love doing#oh god this is now a ventpost#mes
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tizzymcwizzy · 1 year
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i go about my life thinking, "oh, i don't have imposter syndrome! i believe ive gotten to where i am through hard work and skill,"
and then i think about doing commissions and selling prints or products and then i go, "oh who the fuck would pay for this," and I realize, ah,,, imposter syndrome,,,,,,,,,,,,
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hella1975 · 1 year
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im genuinely the dumbest person alive
#im so fucking angry with myself im SO stupid#like yes im only 20 ive never really handled my finances alone before#this is only my second year of paying rent EVER there was bound to be mistakes#and im lucky to have a family that can support me when those mistakes inevitably occur. but my fucking goddddd#basically i didnt plan ahead and turns out my TOTAL student loan for this year covers my TOTAL rent this year#but ofc the installments dont cooperate and the sums are different per semester etc#so instead of looking ahead and going 'oh shit my last loan won't be enough to cover my last rent installment'#and using that very easy to make observation to figure out that i need to be saving the leftover money from my loan throughout the year#i instead went 'omg i have leftover loan this term!' and fucking spent it#im short £600. im going to owe my parents £600#and yes in the grand scheme it's not a huge amount of money like it could have been#but not only will i not be able to pay my parents back until july bc i CANT take out of my america savings#and i definitely cant start saving up £600 ON THE SIDE OF TRYING TO SAVE A GRAND FOR AMERICA#but on top of that being in debt to my mum is the worst thing in the entire world and now i have no choice but to be in debt for 3 months#before i can even start paying it back. like that's 3 entire months that she's going to use it as a stick to beat me with#like not only does she sometimes REFUSE to take money that i earn waitressing bc she insists on having the debt paid through actual labour#but she's also just a complete bitch about it and i know it's very spoilt to expect not only to be covered when i get into debt#but to also expect her to be nice about it but like. im not asking her to CODDLE me i get initially it makes sense for her to be angry#but she could at least acknowledge that i ALWAYS beat myself up over shit like this way more than anyone else will#like im so mad rn im trying not to cry just bc im so FRUSTRATED and the entire time she's fucking shouting in my face#about how she moved out at seventeen and had three jobs at uni and no one to support her etc etc#and just name-callling shit im already calling myself like it was an HONEST MISTAKE#she's acting like i purposely went behind her back and took £600 when i was very visibly horrified when i figured it out#and i immediately came clean to her regardless of how scared i was to admit it. im just so mad like i know i sound spoilt#and like im huffing and puffing over something that could have been SO MUCH WORSE if i didnt have my parents to cover me#but like. i can pay her back within 2 WEEKS of waitressing. ive never handled my rent before. i didn't do it on purpose#and im more annoyed with myself than she can ever be and she KNOWS that about me. so like. please dont shout at me lol#it's just i was SO proud of myself for saving for america and how hard ive worked and i should have known i was gonna fuck it up somehow#& now the £1500+ i'll total have saved for america that i worked so hard for is gonna be tainted bc i owe £600 all bc of my own stupidity#hella goes home
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mwagneto · 8 months
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got my first shift at my first Real Job tmrw night ending at 1am wml😔😔😔
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baishouqijia · 1 year
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i am desperately trying to be more active but i'm experiencing mental burnout. just want to say thank you for the interactions even when i'm only checking in here now and again - i'll respond when i'm feeling better! <3
#nothing really happened - work and the house just got on top of me.#for context i was promoted to a management position in october and i hit my stride so i have a lot of responsibilities and i'm hhh.#having to play catch up in terms of skillset. i'm good at my job but i'm not the best - therefore ? i must keep pushing :y#as for home... Man (horse.jpg)#we bought a house a year ago. i envy people who renovate days after moving in. we're a year in and i'm only just redoing the kitchen floor#after a leak that happened in JUNE 2022. it's expensive as fuck and takes so much time.#i'm so fortunate to be able to afford a house but like. i won't lie. it's really hard having to be responsible for everything that goes#wrong with it. my kitchen has been subfloor for months. we destroyed our kitchen island trying to make room for the floor to be done#so we're down storage and stuff is just piling up. eh i know this is like. first world problem and really not a big deal.#but when your house is in disrepair because you don't have the money to fix it quickly or time to do it yourself. shit's hard.#anyway this is a rant. don't want a wrench or a tissue- just wanna get it out.#[puts on pantalone hat] i have money anxiety too#like i earn the most i've ever earned. i won't really get much higher than this atm. i'm due a bonus and i can cash out my shares#but fixing up the house is so expensive. i'm worried i'm gonna lose it all somehow. idfk why. when things are going well i worry i'm gonna#lose it all somehow. growing up poor does a number on your resource guarding. if i spend a penny I Will Lose It All.#' dima why do you like pantalone so much ' HE JUST LIKE ME FRRRR#sry this is a ramble . i treat tumblr tags like my diary but i hope you enjoyed the read xoxox#anyways! point is! i'm alive! i'm itching to come back but i dont have the mental space for fun rn.#can't have fun until i feel safe enough to have fun if that makes sense.#aight byeee
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im-no-jedi · 10 months
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new OW season and DLC came out today and I have $0 to spend on it, am very sad 💔💔💔
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noxtivagus · 1 year
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the 1975 hdlfkahdfklasdd
#🌙.rambles#i really want to go to their concert here so bad n apollo n i were fine w gen ad but#first day is mostly sold out na n then 2nd day the cheapest one is just yeah n#it's weird rn our statuses in discord were abt the concert n now for like quite a while w some friends#i don't know how to say it help#i am Really bad with asking others for stuff. unless they actually genuinely rlly want to do something for me then i'll#really be. super shy about it. i can give so easily but receiving is so much more difficult#it's nice talking w my friends like this again tho since we don't super talk much but#realizing i am unintentionally funny fr one of my friends ended up asking what 'otp' is bcs our convo went to like earning money n#taking comms for writing LMFAO SO#'one totalitarian pair' i said 😭 & then 'one-time password bcs [k-pop idol my friend wanted a fic with] is the key to [friend's] heart'#THAT WAS FUNNY HFLASDJAFSLKDF NT HEN OTHER STUFF TOO N#i just really want to go. listening to their music n watching stuff on yt or wtvr has rlly touched me honestly#I RLLY WANT TO GO ARGHHH.......#but the timing is 🥹 WE STILL HAVE SCHOOL ON THE 4th n then#our parents wldn't allow us to go ofc w/o an adult but if it'll be w the 1975 that'll be so funny yk 💀#N THEN THE SEATS LEFT..... IM NERVOUS IT'LL RUN OUT#rush against time n#aaaaaa ;;;;;#none of our friends listen to the 1975 so that's also like. lacking in interest thing idk#IM JUST RLLY NOT SURE AT ALL W ALL THIS BUT I WANT TO GO SO#nah we'll find a way n wtvr the outcome i'll be satisfied with it yk?#oh the thing is tho if we do go my phone camera is broken oh no r ppl allowed to bring cameras or smth or idk#BUT NAH FOCUS ON WHATS IN FRONT OF ME FIRST#YEAH.
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ana-bananya · 5 months
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I've been waiting for Caleb's tome for like 3 years now and I wish I was more excited about it, but knowing that I probably won't be able to play the game so I can get his outfit and charms is killing a lot of my excitement over it. My living situation for the past year has made it difficult to play any online games and I've been hoping things would be fixed by now but they aren't. I know it's literally just a game but I've been looking forward for this for so long and I'm probably gonna miss out on most of it.
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rubys-domain · 7 months
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it kinda sucks that my scout coins are literally just gonna disappear after the current scout ends. i wish they'd be converted into something else once they expire at the very least.
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stardustfoundations · 10 months
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#so I'm losing one of my sources of income at the end of the month cause the barn has to downsize and move to a smaller property#it wasn't a huge amount of money to earn in a month but it gave me a little breathing room on top of my other small but larger pay check#and i'm losing it right as student loan payments are starting up.#I was going to dump all of that into that which was going to cover the expense plus extra#and I would have the money from the other barn I could use to live and save some since I basically have no living expenses rn#since i'm living with my parents and I don't have to panic about money while I give myself one last push to get a job in animation#before I try and do something else cause I have been in a holding/transitional pattern for like a year and a half#and I don't really want to remain in there for much longer cause my mental health is kinda getting worse the longer it goes on#and the more I'm stuck in this house with my parents as well as the pain in my hands and wrists increasing#I just feel trapped and this makes it worse because I have like 100 left over after paying for the student loans and general expenses#so I'm undoubtedly going to use some of that for like basic shit#but if I want to save at all even like 50 a month so I can get out of here i'm just going to not be able to do things and enjoy life#like I already have a fair amount saved but I don't really want to dip into it at all#and I brought up trying to find another barn to work at to my dad but he shut it down really quickly like#'now you can use the extra time to work on finding an animation job' which like thanks#but I have little breathing room with the money i'm earning#and I feel like shit and that I'm trapped with no way out cause working on anything rn feels like a herculean task
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jeonghanaesthetic · 11 months
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feel like i will explode and have not had enough therapy lately so its vent time!!!!! tumblr is my little diary!!!
i rly wanna go to my friends hens/bday thing but the thought of flying interstate of luggage and packing and staying in a hostel with strangers and paying through the ass for the whole tjing i fr sat in front of the laptop looking at the flights and accon id selected as the dread and anxiety grew and grew and grew til i shut all the tabs without buying anything :)
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pizzapizzadickz · 2 years
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I hate when you sit wrong accidently and like 5-10 minutes later your body just starts screaming at you.
Like. Use your indoor voice. Gosh.
#diary#personal#oooon another note im gonna buy some shit today it seems.#i have birthday money and i calculated how much money i should be getting from my job n shit#so i think i wont get too stressed about dropping far too much money yet again...#i just have a lot of things i need and want!!!!#im gonna get a new binder (i no joke needed one for about 5 or 6 years now)#and im gonna get another weighted blanket. i think ill get one twice the weight of my current one bc i often fold it in half rn#and when i do it feels better than just flat out. itll be 20lbs vs 10lbs#and then i think i need to order more new underwear. its gonna have mushrooms on it lmao!!!#i was gonna also order some new clothing but unfortunately ording all this crap will be like. 500 dollars ;-;#haaaah i hate it. luckily tho with the help of my birthday money i should have more than enough for this when combined with my pay#usually i earn about maybe 400 dollars a month. so i have to be careful about spending. but oh well.#its sorta a good idea to buy these things anyways. in the future ill probably buy more binders tbh. theyre just really fucking costly ones.#its an sensory friendly binder made by an autistic nonbinary person in australia. so should suit me better than the other ones.#i have a really hard time with binders. i can tollerate them but its sorta like having a thorn under your skin.#same is true for all my sensory issues really. i can tollerate them. but as it goes on it becomes infected and bursts.#so if i can eliminate one more thing thatd probably be best.#im trying to be gentler with myself. but its very frustrating.#i have so much i wish to do. but sometime. i cant. and it hurts. and its sad. and it makes me feel overwhelmed.#well either way if i like it yall will probably hear about it. if i like it a lot who knows maybe ill even write a review or something#i really do appreciate the things people make and do for me.#my dad has been making me sandwhiches the last two days. and its very nice. i havent been having as much trouble bc of it#i dont know how to explain it. but food makes me very stressed. i have to plan out what i want and then im generally good.#but if i dont have enough ingredients? i get stuck. and sometimes even cant eat#if im very upset ill even go without eating. because if i were to try id most likely either throw it out or meltdown...#disordered eating#its... something that started in highschool. possibly bc thats when i started having to make my own meals more and more.#haaah. hopefully one day itll be easier to deal with. but im not hopeful. i already deal with it pretty well i think
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etherealstar-writes · 4 months
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I WANNA BE YOURS | WOSO X READER | PT 14
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pairings: woso x reader
summary: in which you're accidentally added to a random group chat, not knowing they're all actually famous footballers, and obliviously end up having many of them competing for your love and attention.
part: fourteen
part one here
✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦
THE NATIONAL DIVING TEAM
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ you guys back me up here
lotte y/n absolutely not
neev oooh what's gotten lotte acting like this
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ so i made this insane connection yeah lotte is literally a female tom holland but miss wubben-moy here is denying it
the REAL karate kid huh?
mccard hold on you might be onto something here
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
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LOOOK it's not the best photo to compare from but tell me i ain't the only who sees it
stairway OMG
brightness oh yeah i'm seeing it
stephy YESSS it's the side profile
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ exactly!!
meado that is insane
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ seeee lotte! i meant it as a compliment when i said you look like tom holland's twin
elton changed lotte's name to tom holland's twin
tom holland's twin
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neev
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the imposter aka y/n ❤️ 😔😔
tom holland's twin niamh do i need to remind you of this afternoon at the beach? because i will
hempo oooh i wanna know what happeneddd
daly
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stairway WAIT YOU GUYS WENT TO THE BEACH?! AND DIDN'T INVITE ME
the REAL karate kid that is so sad we must've completely forgotten about you
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ OMG YESS I HAVE AMAZING PHOTOS TO SHARE
neev Y/N NO
tom holland's twin Y/N YES
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
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this one and jessie were STRUGGLING for an hour trying to place their mats 😭😭 it was so funny
flaming hot STOPPP DONT REMIND ME
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
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and miss fleming here even gave me the bird guys she's not as innocent as she looks
flaming hot oh shut up y/n
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ you're just sour that the wind loved me
flaming hot yeah i really am
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
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i'm justfdghjkem ehyu tyuiolkjehsyuikmdrnh
willybum um y/n you good?
elton are you having a stroke rn?
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ sorry y/n's a bit busy rn
neev WHERE'S Y/N MY BAE AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ if you want to see her alive again i'm gonna need y'all to venmo me 10k each
stairway 10k?
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ is that too much for you?
stairway oh no no it was just surprising how you didn't go for one 1 million like everyone usually does
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ oh well i guess if you want it that way then 1 million each from y'all
willybum STANWAY WTH
neev had to open that big mouth of yours
ona we'll save y/n just what is this venmo and how do i venmo you money?
elton i mean do we have to ..... she'll be fineee
neev you know what how about 1 m for y/n toone will pay for it on behalf of us all
elton HUH excuse you i ain't venmoing anyone a million dollars i'm positive i don't even have a hundred dollars in my bank account
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ wow glad to know how much i'm worth 😔
ona y/n! you're okay! do i still have to venmo for your safety?
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ oh no no don't worry about it ona you're too sweet for this world 🥺 kyra and charli were being jerks and snatched my phone and ran away
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ added kyra and cha cha
kyra aw man you ruined the fun 😔 i could've earned some money
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ nahhh ona's too precious to be scammed by you but i mean ella on the other hand ....
elton OI
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the imposter aka y/n ❤️ OMG HOW MANY SELFIES DID YOU TWO TAKE ON MY PHONE?!
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cha cha just enough 😁
stephy i was dreading when the three of you would meet up as if we don't already have enough chaos in this groupchat
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ stephyyy why would you think that 😔
cha cha honestly
kyra
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the REAL karate kid 😭😭
willybum HELP
cha cha HAHA I LOVE THIS PLS
stephy
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kyra WOAH WOAH WOAH
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stephy
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kyra
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cha cha HELP YOU BEAT KYRA WITH MEMES I CANT BELIEVE THIS
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ HAHAHA STEPH YOU ICONIC LEGEND I LOVE YOU EVEN MORE
✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦
i don't even know what the hell this is anymore 😭😭 but i hope you enjoyed this nonsense
part fifteen here
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racheldrawsthis · 3 months
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hello i sent an ask b4 but i tht it wld be better to ask again...
just to inform u that me and my college's performing arts club r putting on a live play adaptation of dead plate! we're currently practicising hard every week 🔥 performance will probably be around april 26!
i wld also like to assure u that the only profit we make from this (if we make any at all 💔) goes towards our club funds (which r quite barren rn im ngl) and nothing else, and if u decide u want a share of the money we earned we wld be more than willing to discuss a share of the profits with u 🫶
Oh sorry for the late reply! I've been getting a lot of asks recently so I must've missed it!
Sure, you guys are allowed as long as proper credits are given to the original game and us creators (STUDIO INVESTIGRAVE: RachelDrawsThis, Ekrix, BellKalengar) and state that the play is an unofficial adaptation/not officially associated with the studio.
We'd also absolutely love it if you guys recorded the finished play and took pictures of any promotional material (like posters) or the script for the show and send it to us ([email protected]) so we can watch it, the production idea sounds really cool and it'd be our honor to look through them :]
Best of luck to you and your club, we hope everyone involved has fun!
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