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junityy · 2 months

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🕸 — stay.

pairing. spider-man!jake x fem!reader genre. fluff, slight angst, slightly suggestive?? wc. 2k warnings. for context, this is the #infamous scene in the amazing spiderman 1 when peter shows up hurt at gwens window!! and yes im including the lizard LMAO and jake is kinda down Bad note. THIS TURNED OUT SO LONG.... and also NOT how i wanted but erm well.. spiderman jake is truly all i can think about so i hope you enjoy!!!

You were just finishing up your chemistry homework when Jake leaned against your window frame outside, and lightly knocked against your window. By now, this had become a routine-like thing, so you didn't even flinch.

The first time he did that, though, you felt slightly creeped out before letting him in regardless - because, after all, you do live on the 21st floor. The second time he did that, you started getting used to it. After all, your boyfriend just so turned out to be Spider-man. It was just something you'd get used to sooner rather than later.

Turning around and telling him, “Come in.”, you could already feel your lips form into a smile like that of a little kid's. Jake does as you said and opens the window, slowly climbing inside while you quickly save your homework document in the meantime.

“So, big guy, what was saving New York like today?” you joke before turning around to look at him. Though, once you see Jake holding onto your armchair for stability, your smile fades as quickly as it appeared and you get up when your eyes scan his body - three major scratches across his chest, along with other small wounds across his face (though these are a given by now). But also- scratches? No, it looks more like someone tried to slice him up with.. you don't even know what. Knives? This big? You can only imagine how he got these.

“Different, for sure.” he replies in a joking manner (even though there is no smile), and you can hear just a tiny bit of the pain he must be in in his voice.

“Jake?” you end up whispering as you walk towards him, and he simply lets himself fall onto your armchair before you sit down beside him.

“Seems that reptiles aren't my biggest fans.” he jokes; now smiling as he lets his head fall back while trying to catch his breath. In the meantime, you can't help but scan his wounds up close and - it's safe to say, someone (or something) possibly did try to slice him up from the looks of it.

“Reptiles?” you repeat, the confusion in your voice being very easy to identify; something Jake had already seen coming though, so that is far from surprising.

Before speaking up to elaborate further, he lifts his head again to look at you up close, then explains; “Remember that thing on the bridge yesterday? The thing that was ‘bigger’ than a human.. Well, turns out it's actually some kind of giant, mutant lizard. And it's living in the sewers, apparently.”

“A what?” raising your eyebrows in shock immediately, you can't help but blink in utter confusion a few times - at least before your eyes find their way back to his chest, and some dots start to connect by themselves. Well, his wounds make a little sense now at least. Still, neither of you could deny that ‘giant mutant lizard’ doesn't sound absolutely insane - so naturally, it takes you a second to process and.. imagine what that fight must've looked like just now.

“You're..” you frown; making eye contact with your boyfriend again after breaking it shortly. Jake on the other hand can't seem to even think about taking his eyes off of you. As per usual. “You're telling me you're fighting.. giant lizards?” you simply add. You're also certain that no matter how you would've worded this, it would sound equally just as crazy.

But, well.. your boyfriend IS Spider-man after all. So really, nothing should probably surprise you anymore. If you had to guess, things would, most likely, only get crazier from here on.

“Yeah. Well, they suck.” Jake scoffs, followed by another smile on his face, but he quickly groans in pain right after; your eyes still fixated on his wounds. It’s not like he'll die of them, so you try telling yourself to stop being so dramatic, but still.. it's a sight you'd rather not get too used to.

You hate seeing him like this. Usually, you're pretty used to seeing him with small or at least smaller wounds by now, but this? This is.. low-key crazy. You keep telling yourself that he is literally Spider-man, and that there's.. kinda no way to avoid getting hurt, yet all you hope for is to see him in one piece every single time. And it seems that the longer he keeps doing what he's doing, the chances of seeing him at all keep getting slimmer. Which is something that truly keeps you up at night, easily causing goosebumps all over your body.

“Hey.” Jake quietly says, simply to bring you back to reality once he notices you're lost in thoughts, and the next thing you feel is his hand on your cheek, softly cupping it.

Once you're actually back, you properly reconnect the eye contact you so love with him again. “What is it?” he questions not too long after, barely whispering while trying to read your expression. You, on the other hand, just remain silent; swallowing, before taking a sharp breath.

“Take this off, I'll take care of it.” pretty much avoiding the question, you point to his suit instead (or at least the upper part of it) - since, every time Jake has come here, you took care of him and his injuries. And today was gonna be no different.

While he makes sure the city is okay, you need to make sure he's okay. And vice versa, Jake has to make sure you're okay, by coming back to you every time like promised. New York could be safe for all he wants - only seeing your face every time makes him feel truly safe and sound.

And so again, he does as you say; moving to sit on the floor while leaning against your bed, he watches you do your little magic in silence. Silence, awe, admiration - it's all the same when it comes to you, really. He doesn't even deserve you, Jake thinks to himself. Like he does everyday.

Your ‘little magic’ though, simply includes disinfecting his wounds first; a process the both of you have gotten used to by now.

Once he's rolled down his suit a little, you begin to carefully pat his chest with the tissue again and again, so careful as if he'd break if you made one wrong move. Which.. seems sort of funny. You're patching up the Spider-man after all.

Jake, in the meantime, can't seem to take his eyes off of you again, so he simply doesn't. Instead, he watches your every move like his life depends on it. The look in your eyes has changed. You've gone quiet. Like, awfully quiet.

“Y/N.” he tries again after just a moment - after you clearly avoided his question the first time. When you look up just the tiniest bit, you're immediately met with his eyes on you already in no time. Oh. His eyes. “What is it?” he repeats, hoping to get you to talk this time.

Looking at him, it takes you a few moments to even form a somewhat coherent thought. Sometimes you wish you could just stop time and stay like this. With him, here. Forever.

Sure, being Spider-man's girlfriend had its perks - like Jake taking you with him to swing around New York together. Surely.. an original experience! But it also meant praying he'd come home to you every time there was trouble in the city.

“I'm just scared for you, is all.” you sigh quietly, tilting your head a tiny bit. For just a moment, silence enters, and it feels like you're falling in love with him all over again. You're just glad he's here.

“You won't lose me.” Jake assures you in the softest tone possible and immediately brings his hand back to your cheek, only to bring your face closer to his. Close enough to place a kiss on your lips, a reassuring one. A kiss that, as you both know, says something words wish they could truly encapsulate. Breaking the kiss for a short, simple “I promise.”, he immediately reconnects your lips again like he'd suffocate if he didn't.

What starts as a lovely, reassuring kiss, quickly seems to turn into something much more intimate when you feel Jake rest his other hand on your waist only to pull you as close as possible; to feel your body right against his.

Spider-man might have impressive healing abilities that are above those of the average person, but Jake felt as if having you near him was already enough healing.

“I love you.” he breathes into the kiss, and quickly tries to catch his breath when you do the same for a second. Your faces still dangerously close, all you seem to be able to get out is a “I love you too.” that sounds very out of breath, like you were the one fighting a giant mutant lizard just before.

Bringing your hand up to rest on the side of his neck, Jake can't help but sigh when he backs off a tiny bit, only so he can get a good look at you. God, you're beautiful he thinks to himself. Basically looking at you the same way he did when he first told you he loved you, he automatically moves the few strands of hair out of your face; tucking them behind your ear, while his eyes simply shine with admiration. But mostly love.

“I just love you, Y/N.” your boyfriend repeats while shaking his head slightly, and sounding completely hopeless as if he just accepted that he is, indeed, hopelessly in love with you. Though, that was more or less the case anyway.. it still is, actually. Watching his eyes go back and forth between your eyes and lips, Jake speaks up again in a low voice, “You won't lose me.”. However this time, it's a promise rather than a reassurance.

Your eyes lighting up with pure love at his words and the look in his eyes, you can't seem to hide the way your lips are forming into another tiny smile - so you decide to just let them speak by placing them on his once again.

It's like your lips were perfectly made for each other, especially when Jake tilts his head a tiny bit more to deepen the kiss - his hand still on your neck, and if it were to go after him, he'd never remove it again. It's like you were perfectly made for each other.

“Jake.” you mumble into the kiss, yet keep it going because his lips feel a little too good moving against yours. Although you don't wanna let go, you (sadly) do end up breaking the kiss - which causes Jake to immediately look at you as you're gathering your thoughts one by one.

“I need to ask you a favour. It'll sound really selfish, though.” you begin quietly, only to receive a promising nod from his side, waiting for you to continue curiously while his eyes go back and forth between your eyes and lips again. Swallowing, you carefully ask, “You know I love that you're Spider-man, but can you just be Jake for tonight and stay?” Yeah, you were right about it sounding kinda selfish. Jesus.

But, like, it's true, and you couldn't really figure out a better way to word it. I mean, obviously you love that he's Spider-man - literally who wouldn't? But it's true that you love Jake Sim more. Even if just a tiny bit, which is why you want, - or need, actually - him with you tonight. Just Jake. Just the two of you.

“It doesn't sound selfish.” is the first thing he says in response, slightly shaking his head for further assurance. You're not only glad about it, but you feel your heartbeat increase rapidly when you see yet another smile form on his face, which (thank god), he doesn't even try to hide as it's getting too big. “Actually,” he lightly scoffs, biting on his lip as you watch him do so (it drives you nuts every time).

“I was hoping you'd say that, princess.” is the last thing he says before pulling you in for a kiss much, much more intimate than the ones before.

taglist @tyunni @geombyu @jaeyunverse @yjwfav @sieuneo @beombisou @neos127

#enhypen x reader #enha x reader #enhypen fluff #enha fluff #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #jake x reader #jake fluff #jake scenarios #jake sim x reader #jake sim imagines #sim jaeyun x reader #sim jaeyun imagines #enhypen jake x reader #jake sim scenarios

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microclown · 4 months

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I was rewatching s1e3 and something finally clicked for me..

Please forgive me if this seems obvious to you. It helps me to type out my thoughts, but I'm sure I'm just an idiot and no one else needs this explained to them, lol. That said - I was always slightly confused by the emotional weight of the holy water arc during the flashback sequence. Particularly I was confused by how angry Crowley got when Aziraphale referred to their relationship as fraternizing in the 1862 fight. I mean, "to associate or form a friendship with someone, especially when one is not supposed to" is exactly what they are doing, right? So why the 80 year breakup?

Crowley says he wants the holy water for if "it" all goes pear shaped. The phrasing is necessarily vague, and could mean lots of things. Since I know what he eventually uses it for, I was thinking about it in the context of Armageddon, or maybe more generally and vaguely about Crowley not always choosing to go along with Hell, and associating with Aziraphale. But there was not much reason for Crowley to already be thinking about Armageddon back then.

As we know from the full diary entry Neil posted, the timeline of the Edinburgh entry, and the cut bookshop opening scene, it seems like Crowley and Aziraphale were spending A LOT of time together by the 1800's. When Crowley is pulled back down to Hell in 1827, he learns that Hell is paying more attention to him than he'd previously thought. Crowley realizes at this point that spending so much time with Aziraphale is actively putting him in real danger. He recognizes that, and instead of breaking things off, or seeing Aziraphale less, he doubles down. If this relationship is dangerous, then he wants the tools to fight for it.

That's what I think I didn't get about the holy water request. It's not just general insurance, it's specifically insurance for if Hell finds out about him and Aziraphale. It's also a super vulnerable request because in making it, Crowley is openly acknowledging how important their relationship is to him. Aziraphale casually brings up the arrangement at the beginning of the conversation, and that's part of it, right? Because the whole basis of their relationship is the arrangement. It continues to be the pretense under which they meet, despite the relationship clearly having developed beyond that. And the arrangement, as Crowley proposed it in 537, is born out of convenience, and the assumption that Heaven and Hell would never notice anyway.

Crowley's request for insurance breaks that facade. He's acknowledging that it's not convenient, or safe, but he wants to do it anyway, despite the risk.

Aziraphale, on the other hand, is not ready for the screen to be taken away so abruptly. To make it worse, he assumes Crowley wants the holy water as an escape, rather than a weapon. Suddenly he is confronted with both the danger their association poses, and the idea that Crowley might choose to take his own life. He can't imagine the guilt of being directly responsible for the latter.

I also think the strength of his own emotional response to the thought of losing Crowley catches Aziraphale off guard. He hasn't admitted to himself how much he actually cares, and it scares him. Worrying about Heaven is more comfortable and familiar, so he falls back on that and switches to "If they knew I'd been... fraternizing!"

But bringing up the threat of Heaven reads to Crowley as Aziraphale saying "You may be willing to put yourself at risk for the sake of our relationship, but I am not." The word choice of "fraternizing" comes off as a dismissive and demeaning way to describe a relationship that Crowley just admitted he would risk his life for.

It's an unintentionally deep cut when Crowley is already at his most vulnerable, and so he lashes out. As far as we've seen, this is possibly the first time Crowley has truly lashed out at Aziraphale. So yeah, 80 year breakup makes sense!

And what makes this so much worse is what happens next. Crowley reaches out again in 1941 with a dramatic gesture (rescuing Aziraphale from the Nazis, saving his books). It's clear they've missed each other. They don't discuss the fight, but it's there subtextually. Aziraphale, tentatively and thrillingly, refers to them as friends, for the first time ever. He tells Crowley that he trusts him.

And then, that very same night their worst fears are confirmed. Just when they've finally reconciled a fight over the dangers of their relationship, and just when Aziraphale has finally admitted that it is not a relationship of convenience, but genuine friendship, they are exposed. Crowley is going to face punishment from Hell, explicitly for being Aziraphale's "trusted confident", and he doesn't have insurance. If Aziraphale's trick hadn't succeeded, Crowley would have had no way to protect himself.

idk it just makes me feel things ok

#good omens #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley #aziracrow

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astrobydalia · 4 months

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🪐 Astro Observations!!!✨

Happy 2024 babes! Here’s to another year sharing astrology stuff with all of you 🤩

work by astrobydalia

Yes water moons have great intuition and could be psychic but I very often notice they tend to allow their personal feelings interfere with their decisions and could tend to not follow their intuition as much. The ones that have a more reliable or unbiased intuition imo are Earth moons and Aquarius moon.

Scorpio Venus really do gravitate to unhealthy relationships… All their connections tend to have unfair or imbalanced dynamics to them where there’s no equal give and take. They believe love means throwing yourself and your life away for another person (or they expect someone to give everything away for them) with little to nothing in return. They may not understand the difference between deep intimacy and unhealthy attachment

Libra placements and their ability to appear likable even when they have the shittiest personality deep down

In my opinion Moon is the most important planet if you really wanna begin to know someone at their core. Ultimately no planet can give you full info without the context of the whole chart tho (#AllPlanetsMatter), but you can really uncarcarve sm about someone just by moon placement/aspects/degree, etc. Moon rules your needs and so it really cements your personality and its an energy that you'll project in so many areas of your life (relationships, career, etc)

Fixed Mars are ARGUMENTATIVE fr fr. They need to have the last word and will die on that hill if they have to💀Honorable mention: Virgo/Gemini Mars due to Mercury influence but they’re more about friendly banter and aren’t as stubborn

80% of Aries Moons I've met were very philosophical/spiritual/religious. They can develop a self-awareness that gives them a lot of wisdom. The other 20% were just adult toddlers and very egotistic...

Capricorn placements and their internalized elitism. They really do believe some people are better than others which is the shadow of Capricorn unfortunately

Aquarius Moons are some of the most traumatized people I know fr fr. Whenever I get to know their life and backstory Im always like bro….😶😶 It makes me so sad cause they always bring such good vibes everywhere (they have a playful aura) when in reality there’s a depth of pain underneath you wouldn’t even fathom through that unbothered persona. The OG misunderstood.

We all know Scorpio is all about depth, intensity and looking beyond the surface but I’ve very often observed the exact opposite in scorpio placements. They could tend to be very superficial, greedy and materialistic, more obsessed with wealth and status than any earth placement (it all comes down to power). In such cases their interest in occult or deep topics could also be superficial or opportunistic, like they only see it as something that could give them a leg up in life or help them avoid unseen threats but that's about it.

Cancer Risings do not come across as sensitive at all. They tend to have a rather sassy personality and are pretty defensive 90% of the time tbh. Think about it, are crabs 🦀 cute and cuddly? No, you actually actually have to be very careful around one cause they sting lol. They do wear their heart on their sleeves and are very sensitive and perceptive but because of this they constantly feel like their vulnerability is out for everyone to see hence the guarded attitude.

^I've also noticed they are VERY opinionated and will hold on very tightly to how they think/feel about something. This results in having a reputation for being kinda bold and sharp (Aries 10th). Pro tip: do NOT question these native's morals or integrity unless you wanna see a very snappy side to them, they respond very very very badly if you even insinuate that they might be hypocritical in their values/what matters to them

The interpretation that Aquarius in the 4th house means you’re an outcasted black sheep in the family low-key doesn’t make sense to me tbh. Aquarius is the sign of camaraderie, friendship, inclusivity and community. All the people that I’ve seen with this placement were actually very bonded to their roots and considered their family (and the people they bonded with during childhood) to be "their people" (they also keep their friends close to heart). These natives do tend to distinct themselves as they grow up but this is due to Leo 10th house. I've noticed their family is in general very supportive of them or at the very least they received some input in their upbringing that made them feel special and/or like their uniqueness was celebrated. Feel free to share your opinion/experience tho

I've noticed Virgo Mars people have a perfect balance between being confident in themselves and fulling trusting their abilities while also staying humble and acknowledge room for improvement. Very mature and self-accountable and they're also great people to work with cause they are highly appreciative of good contribution

Sagittarius placements and their ability to be casually rude in a charming way??? 😭

Moon in the 10th house do not have a reputation for being emotional at all, it's quite the opposite they dislike exposing their feelings like that. A lot of their energy is spent trying to appear put-together and emotionally stable. The ones I've noticed have a reputation for being moody or sensitive are Mars in the 10th house

Venus-Moon aspects probably grew up in an environment that fed up this idea they had to be beautiful and conventionally likable in order to be worthy of love. These natives tend to base their self-worth on the amount of emotional validation they get from others and struggle telling the difference between kindness and love

A couple notes on everyone’s fave topic: 8th house synastry

We all know this overlay deals with power dynamics. On a general basis I’ve noticed it’s the planet person who tends to have the upper hand. Exeption: Moon. When your moon falls in someone’s 8th house you tend to be vulnerable one due to the soft nature of this planet, but the house person secretly feels more intimidated

You will NAWT be able to keep secrets from someone you have 8th house synastry with specially if you’re the house person. Sooner or later they’ll see through you, circumstances might force you to expose yourself or you’ll simply feel drawn to revealing the truth to them. With water synastry in general you will feel drawn to share more deep or hidden parts of yourself/your life but with the 8th house you can’t help it, like there’s almost an accusatory tension between the two that grows the more you try to hide something from them

Something I see no one mentioning about 8th house synastry is the planet person always feels intimidated by the house person's success. The planet person will try to take part in the house person's success by taking some credit and have a sense of control over what belongs to the house person, it's giving Kanye's "I made that bitch famous". At best the planet person would want to help boost the house person's endeavors. Either way, when someone's planets land on your 8th house, you will never feel like something is completely yours anymore, somehow the planet person will "take" something away from you that you can't get back making you feel like you owe them or they owe you something big (8th house=debt), which is why this overlay very often goes south and tends to be very depleting.

If we're talking business (which 8th house deals with that) the house person is likely to take a risk on the planet person, invest on them (can be money, time, resources, trust, etc) in hopes that it'll pay off. The house person is most likely to loose something from their involvement with the planet person, but they can also gain a lot from the planet person if the investment pays off. In either case, one could tend to exploit the other if there’s any ill intent from the individual

Water mars people are very smothering in their affection tbh. Once you’ve been chosen, get ready to be bombarded by their attention a bit more each time. Secret stalker vibes.This doesn’t always mean they love you tho, if underdeveloped they may want to “bond” in order to have emotional control over you and use you. For them it’s easy to get what they want through manipulation so leading people on or fooling around is something they tend to do a lot

Going back to the affection topic, water venus are smothering too but they go about their obsession devotion in a much more soft and non-domineering way where they give a lot of power away to their partner

People with Gemini+Scorpio placements in their chart embody the mischievous trickster archetype fr fr. They’re funny but also a menace. Have an ease to become that type of deceitful manipulator who thrives in chaos

I have a theory that your Moon represents the kind of bond or relationship you have with your mother but Ceres represents how your mother actually is

Capricorn and Scorpio placements are huge tsunderes imo 😭

Chiron in Sagittarius/9th house have become disappointed with religious and/or academic institutions. For them both systems are essentially flawed and don't work or don't make sense

+When it comes to religion I've seen a lot of them being atheist and skeptics. Some others still believed in god/universe/etc. but they did not want to support any stablished religious institution and instead have preferred to craft their own belief system. In both cases, they saw the institutionalization of believe systems as something that hindered their freedom of thought and expansion

+When it comes to academics a very similar thing happens. They felt like collage and the educational system restricted their mind instead of expanding it so they just preferred to walk their own path and find growth elsewhere. A friend of mine with this placement quit collage and the other people I've seen who did finish it all said they had a kinda dreadful and/or unfulfilling collage experience which they low-key regret

If you’ve ever felt powerless in the house where you have your pluto, that’s because you gave your power away to the opposite house. For example, if you have Pluto in the 5th house and you felt powerless when it comes to expression, your creativity, etc that’s because you gave too much power to the public opinion/peer pressure (11th house) and what they may say about you if you express yourself genuinely

Scorpio Moons always battle with that "am I a good person?", "am I a monster deep down?" inner conflict. They are more in touch with darker emotions and experiences than the average person so for them it's particularly easy to channel their shadow. This can often make them doubt their own integrity or think they are doomed to never feel happiness and inner peace. This is moon's debilitation for a reason, their inner emotional world is ruled by chaos and turmoil and they tend to be a bit too comfortable (moon) in toxicity and drama, nothing is ever light-hearted for them. If developed this ability of staying in touch with the shadow side of things can actually give them lots of awareness and resilience for the darker sides of the world as well as a very solid moral compass and compassion

Leo Moons likely had grandiose standards forced on them that inflated their self-importance. It's giving "mommy told me I am the best and most special of all" which is great but now they be carrying that mindset for the rest of their lives and this is where lot of their infamous sensitivity and fragile ego comes from cause not fulfilling these standards deeply hurts their heart. In consequence they tend to be more unprepared to accept humbling experiences that'll make them mature

virgo risings are funny!!!! I haven't seen anyone mention this, but every virgo rising I've met cracked me UP, they are so witty and never misse a chance to throw in a cheeky joke every 2 minutes. I think this is overlooked because they keep a rather awkward demeanor to them which often makes for a rather dry delivery. Best examples of this are Ryan Raynolds, Keanue Reeves, Emma Watson, Cole Sprouse...

Also, all Virgo risings I've met tend to come across as huge snobs so it's very common that people don't take their humor or friendliness seriously

Honestly I've noticed this theme with Virgo/6th house inner placements in general where their judgemental nature always makes them unfriendly or snarky to some degree. They can be the kind of people who are never happy with anything and always have a bone to pick.

My main theory as to why Leo risings are the most shy out of all Leo placements is because a lot of them grew up in very problematic and dysfunctional families (Scorpio 4th house) where they were shamed for showing vulnerability or being genuine (Cancer 12th house)

I’ve noticed Aries Suns and Capricorn Suns tend to relate a lot to their fathers, they tend to have very similar character traits as their fathers. For good or for bad their relationship with their father is always very important in their personality.

I find that LEO Suns and Sagittarius Suns always be having daddy issues tho like 😭😭😭😭

One thing about Capricorn is they can be literal billionaires and yet will still refuse to spend a dime on something they think is not worth it

Mutable Moons don’t commit 10000% to things, they’re the type to always have a foot out just in case. They're most likely to commit to things if they don't feel forced or expected to stay permanently

Cardinal energy is very consistent and responsable. People with prominent cardinal placements have a really developed sense of agency, focus and direction (imo this will be more obvious with moon, mars and asc). There's something about them that always gives me this put together "I've got this" kinda vibe, they always seem like they've got it together and always know what to do even when they're lost.

Fixed mercuries and their inability to understand or accept that two different points can be true

Sun/Leo in the 3rd house could want to have a nice car, an expensive or luxurious car from a well-known brand

I’ve seen people saying Venus-Mars conjunction gives it girl vibes. This is also HIGHLY true for Mars-ruled Venus (Aries/Scorpio Venus) or Venus-ruled Mars (Libra/Taurus Mars)

work by astrobydalia

#astrology #astro #astro observations #astro notes #zodiac #birth chart #astrobydalia

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unproduciblesmackdown · 1 year

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in the power of Noticing Things The Xth Time Around the instrumentals-imitative "doot. doot. doot. dooWAH" vocals that kick in during the second verse of centerfold? superlative

#i've heard the song a fair number of times & always enjoyed it a lot. high energy & fun; a little goofy in great ways in subj & sonic style #it is extremely correct to work w/imitative vocalizations in your music no matter what. put in more. More #(and the Vocal [doot] being on the backbeat as opposed to the Instrumental [doot]....superlative!]#and did i Mention that [verse into chorus] synth line...the drumming underneath it...#even the faux Live Performance psychout ending. a song about a Specific Ass Situation thank fucking god. deserved to chart like that.#also anytime i say Dad Rock i use it fairly neutrally lol. i'm a fan plenty of songs that would qualify; to be more specific #lmao love the instances of [no matter how many ties i hear it i cannot distinguish this sequence into phonemes in a way that corresponds to #words (or words that fit into the context in any comprehensible way)] i.e. went ''okay time to look up lyrics b/c i will always be going:#flowers What about her dress??'' & the line is apparently ''while i was thinking about her dress'' lol love when the revelations of #mishearing are funny like Ah right....and claims it's ''slipped me notes'' rather than ''slipping notes'' but doesn't change too much #being like [i cannot decipher these lyrics] is generally a more fun casual version of ''especial tendency to struggle w/audio processing''#versus like not knowing what tf someone's said in this part in a movie or smthing no matter how many times you hear it #or of course the most A Problem: not being able to parse what's being Spoken in some in-person situation #might be an occasion you can't get anything repeated; might be an occasion where for some reason/s a repeat doesn't even help....#also forever the Idiosyncratic Origin Stories behind [genuine friendships formed when you are autistic] e.g. like yeah one of my good #elementary school friendships? was one where we did parallel play; maybe never or very rarely actually Spoke; our Distracting Each Other #was punished with more of a singular intensity than i ever saw Anyone's ''distracting each other'' interactions....#took years of being at the same job (part time; so not like monday thru friday 9 to 5 Always being there at the same time anyways)#for me & a coworker to start talking & become work friends; then regular friends #their name was angel; so the menace i became when we had such a dad rock station on & these alignments occurred #though i would be engaging in singing along to things in general lol so

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tubbytarchia · 3 months

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Doc and Jimmy brainrot part 1 lmao oh no

Basically "What if Doc was in the Life games and Jimmy triggered his parental instincts again". You guys will see my vision. I don't care what it takes. You will see this very specific vision I have god damn it if it's the last thing I do

This is all I have to use as propaganda right now but some ideas and justification below cut!!

Been imagining a lot of Doc/Jimmy interactions both in a traffic and HC context, both of which I'd love to draw for but obvs this for now is 3rd life and I want to draw a little something for each Life series. You'll see!!

The general idea is inspired by a moment from one of the Decked Out streams in which Jimmy calls for Etho and Doc's all "you're triggering my parental instinct... I wanna take you into my hand and take you to a safe place" yep that's it that's the whole inspiration!!

Jimmy deserves love and he does get it to various degrees ofc (Tango, Bad Boys etc) but man... It's so fun to me to imagine Doc in traffic, I think he claimed that he didn't want to be part of the life games because he was afraid of being too competitive (or so I heard), but god it's so fun to imagine big scary mad scientist goat man in that scenario and him probably going at it on his own a lot of the time, but this god forsaken mf Jimmy knows exactly how to unintentionally trigger his parental instincts. I want Doc to subtly take Jimmy under his wing especially as Jimmy keeps dying first. So maybe Jimmy is a bit incompetent and loud as far as he knows, but he sees that he's trying his best and the dad in him can't help but intervene just a tiny bit (and I do mean just a tiny bit) as the games go on. Yes I'm just gonna shove Doc into the Life Games just because I wish this dynamic could have happened and I beg you to put up with it!!

For the above drawing specifically since, sigh, I'm slow and that's all I have to offer rn... it's of course 3rd life, starting off. I imagine Jimmy's wings sprouting during that, because the whole "canary curse" began with the Life Games etc. And this post isn't about FH but just for context as I imagine it, Scott who doesn't like unpredictability convinces him to clip his wings (thanks Bree) because Jimmy's not a proper avian (unlike Grian who has a more "airborne" body, bird feet etc rather than just... wings) and he'd never be able to take flight anyway, those wings would only encumber him. (And then Jimmy keeps clipping them himself until DL Ranchers but cough this post isn't about that). I imagine the avians (for my specific roster, just Grian) have their wings magically clipped anyway just enough to prevent flight and make the games fair. Doc ofc isn't avian himself but he knows that Grian greatly frowns upon the act of willingly clipping wings so when he sees that Jimmy's quickly growing wings have been clipped as well, he can't help but ask, because why would that be necessary while his wings are so small anyway? And Jimmy's response triggers a wee bit of fatherly concern in him but thats it for 3rd life woo

For the rest I just wanna draw more tiny moments of interaction until I get to Secret Life, I guess!! The brainrot is really fucking strong guys

#docm77 #jimmy solidarity #forgive me father for the brainrot is strong and all-consuming #please let me propagate you guys PLEASE #Shak's Doc&Jimmy thoughts #thats it thats the new propaganda tag #tubby art

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tropicalcryptid · 6 months

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Ok so She-Ra pulled such a great hat trick with Hordak's characterization, and I LOVE it

One of my favorite things about 2018 She-Ra is Hordak's story and development (and Entrapdak cough but that's not the point of this particular post), and the cleverest thing is that so much of it is actually being set up and told to us in seasons 1 and 2 before we even realize that that's what's happening.

When we first see Hordak in the show, he's giving "generic evil overlord" vibes. Garden-variety baddie. Maybe a little more reasonable than some and clearly capable of long-term thinking, but that just serves to make him intimidating. Everything about him--the way he runs his empire, his armor, his color scheme, his minion, his Villainous Eye Makeup(TM), even his name--are all projecting to the audience "yup, Acme Bad Guy here. Move right along."

But then, backstory. And everything snaps into focus. Not only is it one of the first big oh SHIT moments of the show, where we suddenly zoom out and realize that there is SO much more going on than we realized--it's also the start of the audience seeing Hordak as a character rather than an archetype. Suddenly we realize that he's not conquering Etheria because he wants power, or hates happiness and sparkles, or whatever--he's doing it out of a desperate attempt to prove his worth to his brother/creator/god. This moment where Hordak lets Entrapta in is also the moment the show lets us in on what makes our favorite spacebat tick.

On top of that, we've also seen him bonding with Entrapta and opening up to this person that he respects and trusts...probably the only person he's ever respected or trusted apart from Prime. And she's Etherian--someone of a lower species, someone he's supposed to subjugate, someone who he has been raised and trained and programmed and mind-controlled into believing is below him in every way.

But instead she's brilliant and creative and mesmerizing. She's not afraid of him, and she's fascinated with his work. For the first time since being abandoned by Prime, Hordak finally has someone that he can talk to, who is on his level and both understands and cares about the science! (because he is a giant nerd). She's kind to him, a mere defect. And it just sends his whole worldview into a spin, and that's all before--

Bam, mans is a goner. Entrapta's "Imperfections are beautiful" comment punches right through all the toxic bs that Hordak has been steeped in his entire life. You can see on his face here--I think it's the moment Hordak fell in love with Entrapta, but this is also the face of a spacebat reevaluating his entire worldview. If Entrapta, who is amazing, believes something different from Prime...what does that mean? If Entrapta, who is brilliant, believes that he is worth something, and that she herself is a failure...

Well. We know what happens after that, and how Hordak begins to doubt, and eventually fights back against Prime (and remembers his love for Entrapta after TWO mind wipes help my heart ack). But we also get to see what life in the Galactic Horde looks like: the only life Hordak ever knew before coming to Etheria.

It's not nice.

It's really not nice.

Prime operates in a very specific way, and we learn a lot about it in season 5. Prime expects complete obedience, devotion and worship from his clones. He allows no individuality from his subjects, not even a name. Failure or deviations are punished, mind-wiped, or destroyed. We even learn from Wrong Hordak that facial expressions are considered a privilege reserved for Prime (apart from, presumably, expressions of rapture caused by being around Prime).

And once we learn all of this, suddenly thinking about season 1 Hordak becomes very interesting indeed. The time we spend with the Galactic Horde and Prime throws absolutely everything that we know about Hordak into a whole new context. Now all those traits that made him a generic villain are actually hugely effective characterization! And what that characterization is telling us is that Hordak had already moved much farther away from Prime than we (or, probably, he) had realized, even long before he met Entrapta.

Horde Prime does not allow his underlings to have names, personalities, or any differences of appearance. Not only does Hordak allow this among his own troops, he chose a name for himself as well! Season 5 tells us that his very name is an act of blasphemy against his god. And yet Hordak took one for himself, and that name is part of the core identity he is able to hold on to when rebelling against Prime.

Horde Prime cast Hordak out when he showed signs of physical imperfections. Hordak not only keeps Imp (who is by all appearances a failed clone or similar experiment) around, he treats Imp more gently than we see him treat anybody or anything before Entrapta. Imp is not simply "generic evil guy's minion," he is proof of Hordak's capacity for compassion, and evidence that Hordak cannot bring himself to cast aside "defects" as easily as Prime. Considering where Hordak came from, Imp's existence is a huge, flashing neon sign telling the audience this guy here is better than the hell that molded him, and we don't even realize it until 4 seasons after it's been shown to us!

Very cool, ND.

There's more, though. Hordak's red and black color scheme? His dark eye makeup and lipstick? Very Evil Overlord chic. But nope! Actually these are actually expressions of individuality on a level that Hordak knows would be abhorrent to Prime!

Reading between the lines, I see this as Hordak desperately trying to reconcile two diametrically opposed beliefs in his head: (1) devotion to Prime, whose approval he desperately craves, and (2) maintaining some degree of unique personhood, of Hordak, from which to draw strength. Because a failed, defective clone cannot survive on a hostile world, cut off from the hivemind and from Prime's light. A failed clone cannot create an empire to offer Prime as tribute, nor build a spacetime portal from scraps and memory to call Prime back. A failed clone cannot create cybernetic armor to keep his hurting, weakened body alive; to force himself to keep going no matter what, to fight through the pain and the doubt by sheer force of will.

But maybe Hordak can.

And so there it is. Hordak had plenty of time to gain and explore his individuality while separated from Prime, but I think the reason he did it so effectively (while still deluding himself that Prime would forgive him for these little sins, if only Hordak could prove his value) is because he had to.

Wrong Hordak gained his individuality surrounded by kind, quirky people who took care of him; Hordak was ripped from the hivemind by Prime himself and had to fight for his survival against all odds. And that produced a dangerous and damaging foe for Etheria. But it also produced the one clone with the strength of will to defy Prime himself.

This is long and rambling, but ultimately my point is that 1) I love Hordak, and 2) I love love love love that the show was so clever about his characterization. We learn so much about him and how much progress he's already made in breaking from his psycho abusive cult upbringing, and we don't even recognize it until the show wants us to. Hordak had come so far, all on his own, before he met Entrapta. She just helped push him over the edge and finally realize (at least consciously) that Prime's worldview might not be the correct one.

Idk, I just don't know if I've ever seen all the trappings of Basic 80's Villain(TM) so successfully subverted, where looking back 4 seasons later is actually a smack in the face with the "effective character building" stick. Amazing.

#spop #she ra #she ra and the princesses of power #hordak #entrapdak #entrapta #horde prime #Spacebat #Deep character analysis #Gotta love clever writing #Seriously I could go on about this show for ages #I just love the characterization for everyone but especially Hordak #Best spacebat #I mean I love Wrong Hordak too but you know

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voiceshearingyouloud · 2 years

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PTSD is nuts; I’m back at home with my mum early and already my chronic pain and chronic fatigue have flared up, my sensory issues are up the wall and I had to pick myself up off the floor where I was crying just to make dinner for myself yesterday.

#just. sometimes it makes me want to scream #I went through this without realising it for years!#I’m just so angry about how unfair it is; and at the same time I’m going shopping with her later to buy stuff for uni #and some tiny part of my brain is looking forward to it because when I was younger that’s when we actually had a good time and didn’t argue #well. nine days left; can you believe it?#I sure can’t.#anne speaks #I don’t even know how to feel about being able to leave finally #I’m happy and relieved but also so scared that it’ll be worse somehow or that I’ve jinxed it by being so desperate #it feels like. how could one thing solve all my problems?#but then I guess what I really want is for this one problem to go away so I can deal with the rest of them by myself and on my own terms and #without this weighing me down and my body freaking out on me constantly #also; every time I’ve been away from her no matter the context I feel better #turns out not having your nervous system keyed up to 11 helps you function better and more pleasantly; who’d’ve known #I’ve started repeating a mantra to myself every time my brain spirals about what if it’s worse; which is #‘I am going to make a good life for myself if I have to pry it from G-d with my bare hands’#which I think is true and also sets me in a good mindset of determination rather than freaking out #okay I’ll stop talking now lol

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evilwizard · 3 months

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I do want to say, my views on AI “art” have changed somewhat. It was wrong of me to claim that it’s not wrong to use it in shitposts… there definitely is some degree of something problematic there.

Personally I feel like it’s one of those problems that’s best solved via lawmaking—specifically, AI generations shouldn’t be copywrite-able, and AI companies should be fined for art theft and “plagiarism”… even though it’s not directly plagiarism in the current legal sense. We definitely need ethical philosophers and lawmakers to spend some time defining exactly what is going on here.

But for civilians, using AI art is bad in the same nebulous sense that buying clothes from H&M or ordering stuff on Amazon is bad… it’s a very spread out, far away kind of badness, which makes it hard to quantify. And there’s no denying that in certain contexts, when applied in certain ways (with actual editing and artistic skill), AI can be a really interesting tool for artists and writers. Which again runs into the copywrite-ability thing. How much distance must be placed between the artist and the AI-generated inspiration in order to allow the artist to say “this work is fully mine?”

I can’t claim to know the answers to these issues. But I will say two things:

Ignoring AI shit isn’t going to make it go away. Our tumblr philosophy is wildly unpopular in the real world and most other places on the internet, and those who do start using AI are unfortunately gonna have a big leg up on those who don’t, especially as it gets better and better at avoiding human detection.

Treating AI as a fundamental, ontological evil is going to prevent us from having these deep conversations which are necessary for us—as a part of society—to figure out the ways to censure AI that are actually helpful to artists. We need strong unions making permanent deals now, we need laws in place that regulate AI use and the replacement of humans, and we need to get this technology out of the hands of huge megacorporations who want nothing more than to profit off our suffering.

I’ve seen the research. I knew AI was going to big years ago, and right now I know that it’s just going to get bigger. Nearly every job is in danger. We need to interact with this issue—sooner rather than later—or we risk losing all of our futures. And unfortunately, just as with many other things under capitalism, for the time being I think we have to allow some concessions. The issue is not 100% black or white. Certainly a dark, stormy grey of some sort.

But please don’t attack middle-aged cat-owners playing around with AI filters. Start a dialogue about the spectrum of morality present in every use of AI—from the good (recognizing cancer cells years in advance, finding awesome new metamaterials) to the bad (megacorporations replacing workers and stealing from artists) to the kinda ambiguous (shitposts, app filter that makes your dog look like a 16th century British royal for some reason).

And if you disagree with me, please don’t be hateful about it. I fully recognize that my current views might be wrong. I’m not a paragon of moral philosophy or anything. I’m just doing my best to live my life in a way that improves the world instead of detracting from it. That’s all any of us can do, in my opinion.

#the wizcourse #<- new tag for my pretentious preachy rants #this is—AGAIN—an issue where you should be calling your congressmen and protesting instead of making nasty posts at each other

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spacedace · 8 months

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Found this old snippet and don't really remember of the context for it outside of being a joking exploration of how weird the Fenton/Phantom family tree would seem to outsiders (not even getting into how relationships might be classified differently between the human side & the ghost side)

Anyway gonna drop it here as a prompt lol

Mind the quick reference to dismemberment, there's no gore or detailed description and no one is actually hurt, it's more there for comedic effect, but still wanted to give the heads up on it 👍

---

Nomad motioned to the towering, vaguely vampire-looking buff dude with literal flaming hair what the fuck, “Dan, this is everyone. Everyone this is Dan. He’s my…” Nomad trailed off and blinked, a look of confused befuddlement on her face as she let the sentence hang for too long.

“Huh…” She said considering, looking up at vampire-dude, Dan apparently, with a confused furrow on her brow. “You know this is the first time I’ve ever had to try and explain our relationship to each other and I’m drawing a blank and what exactly to call you. Uncle? Dad? Brother? Like, I think you could technically be considered all three.”

What the fuck did that mean??? Kon snapped his attention over to meet Tim’s masked gaze, the look of wild confusion Kon was sure was on his own face mirrored there. Around the meeting room confused and worried looks were being shared by the rest of the League. Which like, yeah, what in the Habsburgs was happening here for all of those terms to be applicable?

“Well, you’re Danny’s Mirror, so if you consider him your dad then it stands to reason I’m also your father.” Dan said, hand coming up to his - literally flaming, how did that work? - goatee thoughtfully.

“Yeah but like, I call Danny dad just to piss Vlad off.” Nomad countered, toying with her severed arm with her still attached hand. Kon didn’t think he’d ever get over how casual she was about being literally disarmed and just…not caring. “And I definitely don’t see you as a dad. Uncle?”

The giant of a ghost shook his head with a frown, “Implies that Danny and I are brothers, which could work but gives our relationship kind of a weird vibe. I feel more like his father than anything.”

“Gramps, then?”

“No.”

Nomad laughed, “Fair, wouldn’t want to take the title of Grampa away from CW. Besides we’re both half Vlad, so I think brother works best here.” She frowned, looking thoughtful, “Maybe half brother?”

Dan considered, “Half-brother could work. Though it gives Vlad more credit than he deserves.”

“Oh come on, can you imagine the look on his face if we went in together on suing him for child support?” Nomad asked, fanged grin wicked. Dan’s face lit up at the idea, and Kon felt like they were rapidly heading towards the two ghosts running off to go and go torment whoever this Vlad guy was rather then them help deal with the current demonic problem at hand.

“Can you please explain what any of that means?” Kon asked, more a squeak than anything else. He was starting to get a headache.

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dc x dp #dani phantom #danielle phantom #elle phantom #elle's hero name is Nomad in this one because why not lol #dan phantom #kon el kent #kon kent #connor kent #tim drake #justice league #Elle & Dan just having a very weird concerning conversation about how to define how they're related to each other #& accidentally invoking imagery of European royal families terrible marriage practices #If Bruce wasn't on the verge of trying to adopt the sassy ghost girl *before* all this he absolutely is now #Kon thought his family dynamics were fucking weird but now he's just grateful he doesn't need to use a chart to explain it #what do you *mean* you're older sister could also qualify as your grandma & your older brother is kinda your dad??#And who the FUCK is Vlad and why does it seam like he's somehow responsible for all this?#even the demon they pulled Dan in to help with has stopped what he was doing in vague horror and concern for what's going on here

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gglitch1dd · 2 months

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Cheating Dilf Izuku Pt2

Husband Midoriya Izuku x Wifey Reader

[Part 1] [Cheating Dilf Izuku Masterlist]

Context: Your eldest son isn't as ignorant as you and Izuku wished he was.

Warning: Eldest sibling syndrome, daddy issues, generational trauma

Toshinori leaned against the doorway of the sliding door. His father was outside playing with Kota and Hero, both boys trying desperately to get their father down and trying to tap out on the grass. Izuku laughed as he faked losing this round as he stayed down on the grass as both boys were piled ontop of him. “Alright alright! I give up.” He laughed. Hero and Kota gave each other a high five.

Toshinori couldn’t help but smile at the sight of his two younger brothers playing together, Kota’s eyes still having that light in them that hadn’t diminished. Toshinori was glad the young boy wasn’t as affected by the past six months like the rest of them were. When Shoyo died, it had left a gaping whole in the entire family, especially in you. Shoyo was only five and was Kota’s play mate considering they were so close in age, however, seeing Hero despite being three years older than Kota, play with his brother now made the eldest of the Midoriya boys at ease.

But the smile on his face quickly left when he reminded himself that he was here to talk to someone. To his father.

He forced a smiled to his face as he kicked off the doorway and walked further onto the deck outside. “Hey dad!” Izuku turned to look at his son with a smile. “Can I talk to you for second?”

Izuku stood up easily, ignoring the two giggling boys that now hung off his figure. It didn’t even hinder him at all as he nodded. “Sure thing.” He took Kota off his shoulders and Hero off from his back as he put both of them to stand back on the grass. “How about the both of you go back inside and turn on the Nintendo. We can play Mario Kart if you want.”

“Mario Kart!” Hero let out excitedly. “Yes!” He took Kota’s hand and the both of them went sprinting towards the door. They both paused as they slid, back on their shoes. Hero turned to look up at his older brother who had his hands resting in his sweatpants.

Toshinori nodded his head subtly, allowing them to go ahead. Both boys went sprinting back into the house. “No running!” He shouted after them. “The else mom will be tugging on your ears.” He reminded them as he slid the door closed.

Izuku moved onto the deck, up the few steps before grabbing a seat on the table that was there. He smiled at the sight of his oldest son. Toshinori was a rather skinny kid, after hitting puberty, but he was working on building muscle especially since he now had One for All. It was one of the things that took Izuku by surprise, with how well adjusted Toshinori was to having the quirk.

“Hey bud, what’s going on?” He asked as he leaned back in his chair. Toshinori hadn’t talked to him like this since before Shoyo had passed, so admittedly he was rather excited that he was willing to talk to him now. Over the past two weeks, he had been trying hard to get back into the boy’s lives and it had been easier for every other boy except for Toshinori. It was something that confused Izuku considering the both of them were so close to one another before, and Toshinori seemed to support and urge his brothers to spend time with him but wouldn’t do the same. “Is it friend troubles?”

Toshinori shook his head as he sat down opposite his father. “Nope.” He answered honestly.

“Is it a girl?” Izuku asked earning a blush from Toshinori.

“Dad!”

“What?” He chuckled with his hands up. “You’re a smooth kid. Is it Satomi? If so, I got to warn you that Uncle Eijiro is very protective of his daughter and-”

“No! No dad! It’s not Satomi.” He refuted with a flushed expression but a frown on his face. “She’s just a friend! Besides she’s my best friend’s sister so she’s an instant no go.”

Izuku was buying it (although he respected the bro code). Not a second. Considering how blatantly obvious it was that the girl had a crush on Toshinori since they were both toddlers, it was either that his eldest son was dense or he truly just didn’t have a crush on her. Izuku told himself that he’d spectate while on their vacation that the entire friend group had agreed to go on together.

“No, I just had a question for you.”

Izuku perked up and smiled. He folded his arms over his chest and shrugged. “Alright, shoot.” He stated, being an open book.

Toshinori sat in front of him with a smile, his eyes giving nothing away as he stared back at his father. “What did you do?”

Izuku’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “When? Today?” He asked not entirely sure on what his fourteen year old was getting at.

“You’ve changed.” Toshinori’s voice was calm and levelled, almost as if he was asking something casual. “For the past six months you’ve been working non-stop.” At the mention of the time frame, Izuku found himself tensing. “I can probably count on one hand how many conversations that weren’t greetings that we’ve had. And now suddenly, you go on leave. Now, habits formed are usually hard to break. So its either you miraculously came to your senses or mom got fed up, or you did something that mom found out about. Now I know it isn’t the first two, because mom would never give up on anyone of us, so the question is, what did you do?” he asked with a smile.

Izuku kept his poker face but inside his heart was beating fast enough that he could hardly breathe. How did Toshinori know? You couldn’t have told him. You refused to tell any of your children anything and honestly, your acting the past two weeks have been superb, almost great enough for Izuku to forget for just a second himself.

Izuku raised an eyebrow. “Toshinori, I have no idea what you are talking about.” He stated, lying through his front teeth. His son’s smile only broadened but he didn’t say anything. “I just realised that I had been rather busy-”

“Out of the 400 000 crimes committed in the last six months, three quarters of them being referred to ProHeroes, the top three hero agencies in this country dealt with 200 000. Uncle Shota’s Agency dealt with 40k, the DynaRiot agency had 60k, you dealt with the other 100 000.”

At the mention of the statistics, Izuku cringed. That was a lot. He admitted that he did overwork himself and his workers a lot the past six months. He let out a sigh as he moved a hand to rub his eyes. “I know I was busy-”

“You missed my birthday.”

That fact made Izuku freeze. His eyes flicked over to his son who stared right back at him, not a hint of anger nor sadness. When… when was Toshinori’s birthday?

“That’s impossible.” Izuku denied as he shook his head with a laugh. “Your fourteen-”

“I’m fifteen.” He whispered, the only sign that he felt upset about that fact. Which only made Izuku feel worse.

He missed his son’s birthday? He didn’t remember you ever telling him about a party or a plan for his birthday. Izuku was pale as a sheet as he remembered that Toshinori’s birth month was indeed four months ago.

Before he could get the chance to speak on it, Toshinori beat him to it. “It doesn’t matter. We were going through a lot so I didn’t expect a party anyways. I forgot myself to be honest, it was mom who had to remind me.” He spoke honestly as he leaned back in his chair. “But that doesn’t steer away from my question… what did you do?”

Izuku swallowed down hard but kept his composure. Unlike his brothers, Toshinori was a teenager. Her was perceptive and could understand a lot more than what he thought. “Toshi… it is none of your concern. Your mother and I talked, we sorted it out and everything is fine now.”

For the first time since the entire conversation, Toshinori’s smile fell as his eyebrows furrowed, he straightened up. “Dad, I respect you wholeheartedly, but it is my concern.”

“Toshinori, you’re a kid.”

“I think you forget that while you were busy at work, I was the one here at home keeping us all together!” Toshinori’s outburst surprised Izuku as his eyebrows raised in surprise, his eyes widened. His eldest son had finger to his chest as he frowned. His voice being raised as he looked straight at his father. “I was the one who did all of mom’s chores that week after Shoyo’s funeral, not you. I was the one who sat with my brother’s helping them with their homework cause mom didn’t have the energy and you weren’t there. I was the one who signed all of their tests and homework schedules and showed up alongside mom at parent teacher meetings when Asahi was fighting kids at school, not you.” His voice cracked for a second as tears brimmed his green eyes as he looked at his father with something mixed with pain and frustration. “You raised me to be the man of this house in case you weren’t around and here I am doing that! So please dad, don’t tell me that it doesn’t concern me!” He shouted.

Izuku sat frozen with wide eyes as he stared back at his son. For a scary moment he saw himself. He saw himself when he stood across from the glass in Tarturus supreme villain’s prison when he got to talk to his father. He remembered the pain and the agony of having to be the responsible one around and care for his mother and be less of a kid than others. His son was just like him.

And it scared him to his very being.

Toshinori froze as he realised that he had just shouted at his father. His pupils shrinking as instant regret washed over him. “I… I’m sorry. I’m sorry dad I…”

Izuku felt hurt as he moved to stand up to head over to his eldest son. “Toshi-”

“I’m tired. I went on a run this morning, I’m just not thinking straight.” In a flash of light, Toshinori was at the sliding door, opening it and walked back into the house in a rush, trying to get away from him as fast as possible.

You watched your son race past you as you carefully cut the toasted sandwiches you had made for lunch. You looked at him surprised and shocked as he raced past. “Toshinori?” You asked him surprised. To your surprise however, he didn’t stop. Your eyebrows furrowed as you set down your knife, wiping your hands as you quickly followed after him up the stairs. “Toshi? Toshi are you okay?” You asked as you raced after him.

“I’m fine, mom! I j-just need to make a phone call.” He lied and you could hear it so easily.

You furrowed your eyebrows as you quickly made an extra step and caught him right before he could get to his room. You took a hold of his arm as you forced him to stop running. You saw in his eyes he looked like he was panicking. You took a hold of his hand as you closed the door to his room before looking at him genuinely. “Toshi, come on talk to me. What is it?” You asked softly.

For a moment your son just looked at you but then you saw his face break. You saw that look of pure agony on his face as his hands started to shake. Tears spilled from his eyes as he tried to bite back a sob. You instinctively brought him in for a hug, holding him up as he broke down in your arms. Toshinori hadn’t cried since the funeral and lord knows that you didn’t hold him like this when it did happen. It was one of your biggest regrets, but you knew that everything would come out eventually. Like right now.

You held him tightly in your arms, wondering what on earth brought this about and what would you have to kill to make his agony end. You placed a kiss on his forehead as you just held him. You didn’t say anything, allowing his pain to pass as you took the moment to just be here for him.

“I’m sorry.” He sobbed into your chest as his hands gripped onto you painfully tight almost as if you were gonna disappear. His voice sounded so small as it cracked, his body shivering in your grasp. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry-”

You shushed him quietly as you rest your head on his as you carefully pat his back the same way you did when he was younger. “It’s okay baby. It’s okay.” You spoke softly as you held him.

“No, it’s not! I’m so angry, momma.” His voice was muffled but you heard every word of it. “Why wasn’t he here earlier? Why now! I know you don’t want me to be angry but I was so disrespectful. I’m so sorry.”

You shushed him quietly as you held him tighter against you. “Oh my little sprout… Holding such anger isn’t good for your heart my love. I’m not angry and you shouldn’t be.” You told him softly as you held him in your arms. You let out soft hums as you held him. You held him until the world melted away and until his crying and shaking stopped. You held him until he was the first one to let go.

You took out a handkerchief you always kept on you, being a mom to so many children. You handed it to him as you smiled. You placed a kiss on his forehead. “Toshi, my baby, how about you take a nap hm? Then we can go for a walk later in the evenings, just the two of us. Doesn’t that sound nice?”

He nodded with an exhausted look on his face. “Okay.”

“Okay. I love you.”

“I love you too, mom.”

You left Toshi by himself, allowing him to work whatever feelings he still had left or to just nap. You stayed against his door for a moment as you tried to fight back a scowl. You swallowed down hard as you moved back downstairs. “Boys! Food is in the kitchen!” You called out, noting that you should bring up food to Toshinori so he doesn’t have to come down. However, your priority was Izuku. You walked straight outside, opening as you looked at him as he stood facing the garden. “What did you talk about with Toshinori?” You asked lowly.

Izuku was silent for a moment, his hands in his pockets as he just stared at the garden, bunnies hopping out of their burrow. “He knows something happened.” His voice was deadpanned but showed concern. “He doesn’t know what.”

“What did you say to him?”

“I told him it wasn’t his concern and that we talked about it and everything I said that day was true.”

“Good.” You let out coldly but you didn’t move from where you both stood. He could hear it in your voice, just how ready you were to cut into him if he had broken the agreement of not telling the kids. You noticed how tense his shoulders were. Whatever Toshinori had said to him, was enough to cut into him deeply.

You frowned but walked away.

Izuku heard you leave, his shoulders falling, glad that you would leave him be to his own devices and wallow in self-hate. He hated this. He hated the feeling that he had ruined his relationship with his eldest son and had put so much responsibility and pain onto him. He was a kid for goodness sake. He didn’t deserve any of this. Izuku dragged a hand down his face, trying to stop himself from shedding tears. This wasn’t a time to cry but he was choking up from the inside.

Izuku heard footsteps behind him and instantly he brought himself together. “Hey bud-” instead of it being one of the boys, it was you.

You held a tray of sandwiches and lemonade along with home made mochis. You looked at him with a frown but placed the tray on the table next to him. Sitting in the tray was a pack of tissues as well. Before he could look at you again, you turned around and headed straight back inside. “Eat something. You’re getting skinny.” With that you left him alone.

Izuku was frozen as he stared down at the tray. Lord knows he wasn’t as skinny as he once was… but that was because of you. You always made him good hearty food that always made him feel so full and grateful. You always fed him whenever he was in a bad mood.

Even now.

He couldn’t help but smile.

-Glitch1d

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