#put my entire pussy into this for you jazz <3

[mrsackermannx]

Lourdes, I need more of your delicious Geto thoughts-

Do you think he would be secretive about your relationship or enjoy pda? Also how would he feel about others trying to flirt with you? What are some of the things he likes to do to let others know you’re his?

what it’s like dating geto suguru <3

tags: sfw, kissing, pda (slightly suggestive).

an: JAZZ YES LETS GO! this isn’t even all of it🤭

I think it’s subtle but not secretive at all, like when people look at you two for longer than a few seconds the love is so intense and unwavering it’s ridiculously obvious and hard to look away because of how in sync you two are. He’s smitten and I don’t think he hides it at all, it shows in his pda in fact! His pda to me is very much, hugs from behind with sweet kisses to your temple/cheekbone/cheek and or the corner of your mouth, he also does that thing where he loops your scarf around your neck and pulls you close with it so he can kiss your lips/forehead. You’re always coiled together somehow, like he loves where you sit with your back against his chest so he can put his chin on your head, hands resting on your thighs (his hair smells amazing🤭). He’s quite clingy really, his hair is always tickling you and falling around you in long silky curtains because he’s always wrapped around you, he’s so broad and his embrace feels so safe. He always smells so ridiculously good too, like vanilla and something a little oaky. But also like fresh soap ALL THE TIME.

As far as others, I think he gets playfully jealous because they’d never be any reason for you to look elsewhere😌. He knows this. But I think if people were flirting too obviously, he’d walk over, loop an arm around your waist and be like, “hey, beautiful, ready to go home?” all smirking, tucking his hair behind his ear before ducking to give you a sweet kiss. I do also think he’d be kind of outrageous sometimes if he’d had a few drinks; he’d walk over and hug you from behind, a hand sliding up to rest just under your breasts in the centre. You’re all like, “suguru! stop! ah, sorry this is my partner!” whilst giggling into his touch, your body is as much his as it is yours. Your cheeks heat as he maintains eye contact with the person flirting with you as he kisses along the curve of your neck until he reaches your ear to whisper a silky, “mm, let’s go home.”

Things he likes to do to let others know is definitely that you guys have subtle matching things, like scarves, earrings, necklaces especially! Like a simple silver necklace that matches and hangs from each of your necks, I think he likes to hold hands too, and carry all your bags. His phone background is either deffo one of you in a robe on one of your spa getaways together, glass in hand, his large hand smushing both of your cheeks whilst you laugh, or it’s you all dolled up sat opposite him in a restaurant, with your eyes half-lidded, looking at him with all the love in the world. People are always shocked when they see it, but he’s so quiet and gentle, that it’s not unexpected. He smiles proudly as he says, “that’s my fiancé/partner. I know, she’s absolutely beautiful.”

He also loves to pick you up from work, flustering everybody because he always whispers in your ear, and you always look so flustered, that or your attention is immediately captivated by him. (He brings flowers sometimes too, or food- your favourites). You can’t take your eyes of one another. Loving Suguru is intense, quietly intense. Sometimes you can barely be apart, because he feels like home too much, so calm, so soft. And his arms feel like home. Hugging you hello with his hand cupping your head as he whispers a soft, “Okaeri” (welcome home)

Geto overall as a partner. He dotes on you, rubbing your hands when it’s cold out, wrapping your scarf around you, holding your umbrella, always gazing at you with so much love. Always smiling when he asks, “I didn’t ask what you’d eaten, I asked if it was something you enjoyed?” When you tell him no, especially because you didn’t eat with him, he’s leaning over for a kiss. “Then let’s go to your favourite place for dinner.” This man knows everything and anything about you, and you to him. He loves long deep conversations about everything from your childhood, to your first friendships, your family, your deepest desires, fears, he commits every day in how he loves you, treasures you, continues to learn you. “Arguments” with him don’t even last more than an hour, he never raises his voice either, he’s an amazing communicator, always calm, always making you feel heard, they happen so rarely because you talk about everything and you know you’re in it for life. Being with Geto feels the most like being yourself because you can just be, and he can just be, you love each other unconditionally.

#i popped off here jazz #i couldnt help myself #i just adore him so much #boyfriend geto #geto thoughts #geto suguru #moots<3 #sighs dreamily #put my entire pussy into this for you jazz <3 #i always imagine falling in love with Geto in the winter #wearing warm sweaters and cuddling whilst watching movies with the Christmas tree up #wearing long trench coats and big scarves as you walk home a little tipsy together on new years <3 #hot chocolate after a long day <3 #having a hot bubble bath together after a long and chilly week #I ADORE GETO ACTUALLY #don’t even get me started on the sex jazz #don’t you DARE🤭🤭 *bats lashes*

[solarwonux]

An Unforgettable Dinner - Valentine’s Day Drabble #3

soft!dom mingyu x f!reader x soft!dom chan 

w.c: 2.0k

warnings: LOTS of teasing, toys (vibrator), public sex (kind off just squint everyone), humiliation, Mingyu is a little shit, orgasm denial, poly relationshi, daddy kink if you like squint, slight degradation, (very minimal editing)

note: this was a prompt from my drabble game, but I enjoyed it too much that I thought why not add it to this mini series lol. Enjoy and please please let me know your thoughts. 

also i will be answering asks tonight hehehe and everyone else that left me lovely comments on my feedback rant lol

masterlist || drabble game

“You should wear that more often.”

You jumped upon hearing the smoky lip of your boyfriend's voice. Quickly, you placed the glass of champagne onto the kitchen counter before scurrying and wrapping the sheer robe around yourself tightly. Failing to cover the baby pink lingerie set you adorned. 

He wasn’t supposed to be home yet. 

They weren’t supposed to be home yet, because if Mingyu was home that only meant that Chan was home too. 

“W-What are you guys doing here?” You turned around, setting your elbow down onto the counter awkwardly. The loud drone of the old Jazz record you had playing, didn’t do much to cover your embarrassment and the loud beating of your heart as you looked at both Mingyu and Chan’s smug expression. 

“This is our house too baby.” Chan spoke before pushing himself off the wall. He walked past you dropping his bag onto one of the kitchen chairs, your eyes following his movements closely as he walked to the record player and turned it off. “Valentine’s Day and our anniversary isn’t for another week, what’s the special occasion?” He put the record needle back onto its respective spot and took off the record carefully, looking around for the sleeve before spotting it haphazardly thrown on the couch. With a tisking sound, a shake of his head and a quick glance at Mingyu then you, he walked towards it.

“I’m willing to overlook the mal-treatment of my records if you answer Chan’s question...and honestly.” Mingyu’s voice grabbed your attention once again, this time obviously annoyed. 

Mingyu’s records were his prized possession, sometimes treating them like they were his second skin or his first offspring. He never forbade you or Chan from using them as long as you abided by his rules and more often than not you would forget, Chan always covering up for you so you wouldn’t have to listen to another version of the same lecture Mingyu always gave. 

“Um...no special occasion I just wanted to try on the set I bought last week for our anniversary night.” You mumbled playing with the feathered sleeves of your sheer robe. It was true, your plan had been fool proof until it wasn’t. You were only going to wear it for a few minutes, take some polaroids to leave hidden around the house for them to find and take it off before they came home. Though, you had gotten ahead of yourself the second you saw how beautiful it looked on your body. How it made your insecurities fade away slowly. In celebration for the new found confidence you didn’t want to stray away from yet. You had opened a bottle of champagne and put on your favorite record as you lingered around the living room with a giddy nature that only a child on Christmas morning would have. 

“It’s a shame we were spoiled, now this is all I’m going to think about for the entirety of next week.” Chan said as he walked back to the shelves that kept your books and Mingyu’s record collection. He held it by the denting corners of the sleeve twirling it mindlessly as he went over the abc’s in his mind, before finding its rightful spot between L and N and slipping it back in. 

You chewed on your bottom lip as you felt the tension grow in between the three points of the living room where the three of you were standing in. Chan was now leaning against the bookshelf, arms crossed chewing on his bottom lip, while Mingyu still hadn’t moved from his spot by the front door with you trapped in between them now, holding onto one of the kitchen chairs, keeping your balance. Their looks were almost predatory and it made the skin of your arms rise as well as the desire between your legs. 

There was no way you would survive this night untouched. 

“Why don’t we get a preview, it would be waste to at least not see something you’ve planned for us.” Mingyu nodded, Chan making a sound that can only be categorized as one of approval. Though, you felt weak in the knees ready to drop for them. The confidence you found yourself ensuing when wearing this particular innocent looking set, overcame your senses. 

“Buy me dinner and I’ll think about it.” 

“What’s wrong baby, you wanted dinner didn’t you?” 

You gripped Chan’s forearm like a vice, and bit your lip hard trying to subside the moans that were threatening to spill out. 

Your confidence had depleted to nothing when they both agreed and told you that they would wait in the car for you as you finished getting dressed. On the way towards the hole in the wall restaurant the three of you often visited. One of Mingyu’s hands was gripping the steering wheel hard, while the other found its way inside of your leggings, teasing your slit over your panties. 

“She’s wet enough love.” Mingyu spoke, sending Chan a knowing look through the rearview mirror in which you caught. It only made you wonder if they had had this entire night planned out and your suspicions only grew when Chan had fished out a tiny hot pink vibrator before handing it over to you. 

“Put it inside of you baby.” Chan smirked at you through the rearview mirror before planting a sloppy wet kiss against your cheek. At first you declined, called the two of them insane for suggesting such a thing, let alone in public. But then the thought of them teasing you in public became more appealing and arousing to you, that silently you obliged to their commands. Which is how you found yourself at a loss for words and appetite and on the brink of yet another orgasm, digging your nails into Chan’s bicep as they both ate happily, chatting up a storm. 

“This isn’t fair.” You breathed out, the vibrations dying down to almost nothing, enough for you to breathe. You weren’t sure which of them was controlling the vibrator as they never faltered in giving themselves away. 

“Babe if you don’t eat, your food will get cold.” Chan pointed out, placing his hand over yours and kissing your nose lightly. Your garlic noodles had become an afterthought even before you had ordered them, your mind was focused on the pusing vibrator against your clit and how desperately you needed to orgasm. 

“F-Fuck the food Chan, please let me cum.” You whisper yelled, looking between both of your boyfriends and silently begging them. Whether it was a mistake or not you didn’t care, at least not until the vibrations started up again, this time faster than before. You let out a squeak hiding your pleasure stricken face in Chan’s arm, earning a chuckle from both men. 

“Not until you eat all of your dinner, it’s what you wanted baby.” Mingyu said before reaching over and grabbing your head gently in his palms making you look at him. “You act like a brat, you get treated like one.” He whispered before placing a soft kiss against your swollen lips. Before you could respond he pulled back and sat back down, crossing his arms in front of him a smirk adorning his perfect features. “Now eat baby, eat and we’ll fuck you until you start seeing stars.” The vibrations died down again and finally you realized that one that was in control of your torture was the man sitting next to you. 

“C-Chan, fuck, please just let me cum. I’ll be good, I’ll let the two of you fuck my mouth and my pussy but please I-I need to cum.” You begged and left peppering kisses against his neck. It was a good thing that the waiter had sat the three of you down in a booth, otherwise you wouldn’t have been openly expressing how desperate you were. 

He shuddered and pushed you away before taking a bite out of his steak, ignoring you completely. You could tell that by the way his body had tensed up and how the vibrator moved inside of you at an overwhelming speed, he was close to giving in. If it wasn’t for Mingyu’s warning glare he would’ve given you all the orgasms you wanted, regardless of being in public or not. 

“If you let her, you’ll be joining her.” Mingyu warned. It wasn’t often that Mingyu took over the dominant role in your relationship. Despite him being the one that looked more intimidating he was often underneath you or Chan when it came to the bedroom. Though, there were some days, like today in which his own mouth betrayed him as he spewed the dirtiest things for only you and Chan to hear. 

You pushed your plate of food away and leaned your forehead against the table. The tears had started to pool up in the corner of your eyes as you tried to hold yourself back from your release. And when the vibrations stopped once again you let some of them go along with a sigh of relief. You sat back, whipping your eyes with the back of your hand and crossed your arms in front of you. Mingyu chewed happily on the piece of chicken he had in his mouth, as he looked at your fucked out state. He would be lying to himself if he said that he wasn’t itching to risk getting fined if it meant that he could bend you over the table and fuck you. But his self control was far greater than anything on this planet. He had proved it to both you and Chan whenever the two of you would edge him on for hours. 

“C-Chan, baby, just let cum please.” You looked over at him, your eyes blotchy, looking so fucked out, wishing that he was home instead of the stupid restaurant. He wasn’t even enjoying his food anymore. 

You leaned over and placed a soft kiss against the back of his ear, where his sweet spot was and you saw him grip the handle of his knife hard enough for his knuckles to turn white. “I-I feel so good, don’t you want to feel good with me.” You kissed down his neck and ran your hand over his clothed cock. He was so hard that you let yourself moan loud enough for your two boyfriends to hear, but low enough for it to be drowned out by the loud music that was playing. 

“Fuck, you just want everyone to see how cock hungry you are, isn’t that right baby?” Mingyu tilted his head, his hands holding onto the table to keep himself from touching himself. In truth you and Chan were his weaknesses and more often than not the two of you used that knowledge to your advantage. 

“Yes, I want them to know how much I love being full of cock and cum.” You moaned, your grip on Chan’s cock faltering when the vibrator started up again. It overwhelmed your senses, as you felt your orgasm approach even faster than before. 

“Then cum for us.” Chan whispered in your ear. He had kept his hands away from you the entire time he was controlling the device inside of you, but now he had placed a hand on the inside of your thigh, massaging it gently as he whispered dirty praises in your ear. All while eyeing your boyfriend from across the table. 

Before you knew it, you felt yourself release, falling forward, your forehead hitting the table gently as it traveled through you faster than the speed of light. Mingyu let out a very telling low groan, while Chan’s hand rubbed your back gently. The vibrations against the walls of your pussy came to a complete stop as they fluttered around the hot pink device. 

“Good job baby, you did so good for us and look no one even noticed.” Chan said teasingly before sitting the two of you back, your head against his shoulder as he caressed your arm gently, calming you down. 

“That was so fucking sexy, f-fuck. We need to leave now.” Mingyu rushed out raising his hand up to call over the waiter. 

“No, like you said we need to finish your food first, so be a good boy for me love and put your hand down. We have a long night ahead of us and the two of you need all the energy you can get.” Chan said, before shoving another piece of his steak into his mouth. You knew him being quiet and letting Mingyu take control was just for show. You watched as Mingyu’s overly dominant confidence left his body slowly as he obeyed and lowered his hand, swallowing slowly. 

“Daddy can we punish him?” You smirked and looked up at Chan, resting your chin against his shoulder. You saw a menacing smile appear on his face, indicating that he was more than a fan of the idea of having Mingyu at both of your mercy’s. 

“Of course baby girl.”

#kdiarynet #kpopscape #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen imagines #seventeen x reader #seventeen smut #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fanfic #seventeen mingyu #seventeen chan #seventeen dino #mingyu x reader #mingyu imagines #mingyu fanfic #mingyu smut #dino imagines #dino fanfiction #dino x reader #dino smut

[gyllenhaalstories]

GRATITUDE & ATTITUDE — THANKSGIVING WITH RAPPER!JAKE HEADCANONS.

anonymous asked:  what would rapper jake be like at Thanksgiving?

warnings: confused canadian tries to understand american thanksgiving, multiple mentions of food/eating, daddy kink, brief mentions of smut (as usual).

notes: i apologize if i’m not representing thanksgiving properly, i tried to do as much research as possible though! for those who don’t have this holiday/don’t associate with the religious aspects of it (like me!), this is pretty much focused on family gatherings and food, so you’re good! i found the gifs in a gif hunt and idk who made them, i’m sorry i can’t credit the creators. i was listening to mirrorball by taylor swift and glee’s let’s have a kiki/turkey lurkey so... yeah don’t vibe with me this time! happy thanksgiving to everyone who celebrate it! <3

food. this holiday was about food and nobody could tell rapper!jake otherwise.

the mountain of grocery bags and produce in the kitchen proved his point. he was determined to turn into all of those friendly people he watched on food network. you know, the kind eyed grandmas and the men with funky glasses? he even got an aprin. and new oven mits in which his hands actually fit. he had all of the recipes printed out on paper, then taped on the cabinets’ doors. he had the biggest smile on his face.

“when we’ll have kids, imma cook them yummy dinners every night.” he greeted you with this promise when you walked in the kitchen, rubbing your tired eyes.

you checked the clock on the microwave. it was 8: 20 am.

jake caught up on your confusion. “i waited in the parking lot to be the first person there as they open, ordered all the food online last night when you were sleeping. i picked up a cute table center piece on my way back. isn’t it lovely?”

lovely. that’s not a word he used often.who was this man and where was your boyfriend?

you turned your head and found a very autumn looking arrangement of candles and wood and other golden elements. you nodded slowly, approving of his choice.

you turned your heels, ready to go back to bed and ignore the upcoming chaos in the kitchen as lil chef jakey-jake was about to cook for an entire army.

“don’t you wanna be a good girl and help daddy cook for your parents?”

soon enough you two were wearing matching aprins, you had jake’s hands printed in flour on your butt as he fed you slices of apple while putting the pie together.

it was barely two in the afternoon and everything was ready or finishing to cook. jake made sure to let you taste test everything. he didn’t want you to be too full, so he let you snack on some froot loops around lunch time. he couldn’t deal with a hangry hostess, tonight was too special for that!

you started to yawn and get cranky and quite frankly, he was not doing any better.

“let’s nap before we feast like royalty” he suggested.

you cleaned the kitchen at the speed of lightning.

jake grabbed your hand and pulled you upstairs. he tucked you in. you spooned him, hiding your hands under his t-shirt to keep them warm as you too quickly fell asleep. he was too exhausted to laugh at your cold fingers toasting against his skin.

the alarm ran so loud that jake jumped off the bed (he caught himself before falling on the floor).

“wake up, buttercup.”

you earned a kiss on your temple, basically the only corner of skin exposed from under the blankets.

you growled in response, missing the warmth of his body.

“oh, is that so? you’re not gonna let daddy make you feel good in the shower?”

won’t you look at that, your pyjama was tossed on the floor, steam was leaving the glass shower and your back was pressed against the tiles as jake held you up and fucked into you, slow and deep.

“stuffin’ you up so good” jake laughed, as both of you were close to your release.

you exploded in laughter, jake echoing your gleeful giggles. he went to rub your sensitive clit and a few seconds later, you were screaming out his name.

the two of you got dressed. he wore a black shirt. you wore something that matched. you put on light makeup and perfume as jake watched your reflection on the steamy mirror, his arms wrapped around your waist.

“tonight is going to be perfect.” you reassure him, making him grin.

the door bell rang and jake ran down the stairs. he let you fix his rebellious collar and press a kiss on the tip of his nose.

the door slammed open. “mom, dad! so good to see you!” jake greeted your parents, remembering how you introduced them to him the first time.

another wave of laughter. jake noticed that you had the same happy wrinkles at the corner of your eyes as your mother. he loved that new detail about you.

“gather around, the food is ready!” jake said and your mom offered to help him serve the plates. he accepted, thankful for an extra pair of hands.

the table was quickly covered with mashed potatoes, chicken (he didn’t want to roast a whole turkey for the four of you), roasted veggies, salad, gravy, bread and basically everything you could think of (he kept the froot loops on the counter in case you didn’t like his newfound recipes).

jake buttered a slice of bread for you, earning a smile from your father.

you gave him a bite of stuffing and the two of you laughed at his cheesy dirty talk from earlier.

jake leaned closer to your ear, when your parents discussed some encounter with wild turkeys they had on their way home. it was picturesque, but jake’s words snapped you out of this reverie.

“all the food is good, but your pussy’s still my favourite flavour.”

you choked on your sip of hot apple cider for a quick second.

this man had no shame.

rapper!jake started to talk to your dad about the hockey season. and to your mom about the carrot cake recipe he found that he wanted to make with her.

you blinked away a happy tear.

the rest of thanksgiving dinner went smoothly. you guys went to watch television, some old scenes of charlie brown were playing. jake switched to music instead, the smooth jazz of louis armstrong brought your dad to invite you for a slow dance around living room. jake did the same with your mother.

eventually, you tried to switch partners and your dad ended up dancing with jake. they both went all in, suddenly thinking they were in a royal ballroom.

it was after the four of you stopped laughing that your mother suggested they drove back home.

it had started to snow outside, pretty hard.

“why don’t you stay? we have a guest room.”

the we made you feel all happy inside. it was jake’s house, he worked so hard to afford it. yet, he considered it yours too.

“we don’t want to bother the lovebirds!” your mom tried to deny the invitation.

“family is never a reason to be bothered.”

these words came from jake.

the same jake who, not too long ago, didn’t even speak to his own family. he didn’t want to have anything to do with them.

the same jake who was about to break down at the thought of meeting your parents.

the same jake who thought would never have a family of his own.

your parents smiled and thanked the both of you.

jake gave your dad some merch and sweatpants for sleep wear. your mom took your favourite pyjama set.

they were fast asleep.

and you thought jake would be too, after such an exhausting day of running around.

“what are you thinking about, my love?” you asked.

jake shrugged, moving his arm so you could snuggle up against him. you rested your head on his naked chest. the beat of his heart was peaceful, almost enchanting.it was your favourite musi.

“we didn’t say what we were thankful for.” he remembered the essential tradition of thanksgiving.

“then say it now.” you chuckled softly.

“i’m thankful for you,” he poked your nose, making you scrunch it adorably. “thankful i get to see you smile, get to hug you and kiss you, get to sing to you until you sleep...”

he kept going with millions of other details.

“i’m thankful for the wonderful human that you are, jacob.”

strangely, he was both tearing up and getting a boner at the same time. you can’t blame him, there’s something very hot about being open and vulnerable.

you moved on top of him, trailing kisses on his jawline and neck, on that sweet spot that drove him wild right under his ear. you painted his collarbone with more kisses.

your pace slowed down, your body was falling against his.

he wrapped his arms around you, making sure you were safe and sound as he heard you snoring slightly.

he laughed through his nose, not bothering to turn the lamp off.

he opened his mouth one last time that evening, to whisper those three magical words:

“i love you.”

#jake gyllenhaal imagine #jake gyllenhaal x reader #jake gyllenhaal smut #jake gyllenhaal fluff #jake gyllenhaal x you #series: southpaw #topic: rapper!jake

[captainillogical]

Devil’s Ballroom ch.1

A year after the events from the earth’s final attack, Little Homeworld is finally complete, and there’s a new jazz bar where gems and humans mingle and drink. - As you’re typing back a reply, someone pulls the stool out next to you and takes a seat. You see a sliver of pink out of the corner of your eye as you try not to actually Look. Oh god. It’s her. God can’t help us now.

Spinel/Reader

collab with my lovely wife @firstofficertightpants

Beach City was a small, lovely town, where pretty much everyone knew each other from the inner city to the boardwalk. You've lived your whole life there, and you loved it. It was home. It was also a really strange town, and you're pretty sure the world almost ended like six times in the last 4 years. Although honestly, you never had to worry about that much, since Beach City was also home to the Crystal Gems, and that Steven Universe who just always managed to save the day. So you’re told. Steven was a fun kid, and grew to be one of your good friends (he’s so insistent on being everyone’s friend. It’s very charming and you love him for it), but you’ve mostly spent your time at work this summer.

One of the easiest jobs to get is Funland, since that always tired Mr. Smiley is chewing through people constantly as the pay is shit, the hours are long, and it’s so hot. Like Mr. Smiley says, "Funland is funderstaffed". You feel like he says that to mock you a bit, since there’s just the two of you here. You really only cared to work there on your off season to help dad out with bills, and to see your best friends. Except THIS summer you guess, since all (2) of your best friends had to go out of town for summer either because of family get togethers or romantic getaways. Those bitches. And you were finally of drinking age this summer. You weren't about to let that get you down, or ruin any plans you’ve made yourself in the next upcoming weeks though.

You’re on the last forty minutes of your shift doing the work of four people. Emptying tills around the food court, cleaning tables, emptying trash cans, and jesus christ this task list seems longer today. It feels ever so fucking slow. And warm. You’re melting, you feel disgusting, and you just want a shower. Thank god it’s payday and you have the next two days off, because you seriously wanted to go out and unwind. See, there’s this newly renovated piano bar you’ve wanted to go to for weeks here locally in town, and you had planned on going with your friends.. but. You know what? Screw waiting on them. You’re going tonight. And besides, who knows! Maybe you’ll meet some new people and make a friend, or show your best friends that you can finally get a girlfriend!! Haha.. or at least get drunk enough to ignore the growing loneliness you’ve been feeling as of late, and desperately trying to ignore.

Funland never truly got busy, so you quickly closed the food court that had been dead for hours down. The last 15 or so minutes you spent sitting at the ring toss booth, and very thankful for the protection from the beating sun on your face. 

"YOOOOO (Y/N)!!!" You hear a familiar voice shout from your left. You put down your phone (obviously looking at memes) and lean over the counter just in time to see Amethyst, accompanied by Steven, jogging over to your booth. 

"Oh, thank god. Finally some human interaction." You responded to the purple gem as they reached your booth. Steven smacked down some tickets for the game and grinned.

"Just spending some time away from the temple". He says, and you nodded as you handed him two stacks of rings. He joyfully pulled them towards himself as Amethyst snickered. 

"He means to say his A/C broke, and Pearl got tired of hearing him groan about it so she kicked us out." The short gem elbowed Steven playfully. 

“Us? Why’d she kick you out too?” You say, giving Amethyst a pointed look. “That’s because Amethyst brought up like 7 of the junk fridges from her room to try to create some sort of.. open fridge cold air whirlwind right in the middle of the living room. It didn’t work as intended at all, though. I’m pretty sure those fridges were really old, or something, because 3 of them caught on fire and now we have scorch marks all over the floor. Anyway, Pearl was pretty mad about it. Sooooo, now we’re here!” Steven says while laughing, and attempting to toss the rings onto the obviously not rigged bottles. 

"So anyway," Amethyst turns to you and leans her elbow on the counter. "Any big plans for tonight?" She steals half the stack of rings from Steven and starts chucking them in the most violent way possible without actually breaking anything. She somehow gets 3 perfect.

 “Ughhh, yeah actually. I sort of convinced myself I’d go out and drink tonight.” You say with a tired grin. “I’ve been kinda daydreaming about not being here all day, and I’ve been wanting to try that one place.. the uh.. piano bar. That new one.”

“Isn’t that the place Bismuth helped fix up, and now bartends at?” Steven says to Amethyst. “She said this place was 1930’s themed with a stage, a spotlight, a piano and everything! It sounds like fun and I want to go.. a lot of the gems from Little Homeworld hang out there. Bis says I’m too young.” “Yeah,” You say, “You’re what, 17? You’re still just a baby, dude. If you want, I can try convincing Bismuth to let you in sometime just to sing.” You say to him and wink. Amethyst bursts out laughing. “You can try!! Bis won’t even let Peridot in!” She laughs. “She says her maturity ain’t the right fit. Whatever that means. She lets Lapis work there sometimes though when she wants, and Peri is still mad about it.”     You watch Steven miss every single shot. How can this kid be the person who saved the planet? His aim is terrible. Amethyst also misses the rest of her shots. 

“Have you guys actually ever won anything here?” You say out loud. “Only when Amethyst cheats.” Steven says. “And anyway, I really want some food. Amethyst. Pizza?”

“Duuuuuuuude. I could eat at least 10 pizzas right now. PLEASE.” She slaps her hand down on your booth. “Y/N. Go out tonight. Have some fun for the both of us, because it’s my turn to clean the kitchen, and if I skip out again Pearl WILL make me do my own laundry.”

“Wooooow, jeez, it must be so terrible to be self-sustaining and clean your own shit,” You’re smiling while chiding her, “and yeah, I will. Maybe next time come with me?” “And leave me all alone!?” Steven whines while starting to walking away. “Go hang out with Connie, you turd. At least you HAVE a girlfriend!” You reply. “You’ll find one eventually Y/N!! Maybe tonight!!” He yells back while waving before they both disappear from your field of vision.

“I really fucking doubt that.” You say to yourself, alone.

You busy yourself cleaning up, and walk over to the main building to clock out. You check your phone, and it looks like the group chat pinged. It’s Harper. FINALLY. Harper has been MIA for the last week. Well, not missing, per se, but she’s been on a roadtrip with her girlfriend of 6 months and didn’t invite you..or your other best friend, Alex. And yeah, you would’ve had to decline because your dad needs you to pick up some slack while he’s out on business, but.. STILL. Shit kinda hurts. But it seems like she finally got service and remembered you guys exist. It’s actually just a selfie with her and her girlfriend with a mountain in the background. She captioned it “I wanted to dive right into mt st helens but she wouldn’t let me get close enough.” You grin and decide to reply with, “Maybe next time Leah won’t let you pussy out”. Honestly, you really didn't mind being the 'single' friend most of the time, but sometimes you wished you could finally meet someone. Then you could also be sending cute couple pictures to your idiot friends, and finally feel like maybe you’re worth someone’s time.

Alex just responds to the chat with 14 flame emojis in succession. Before you can send any knife emojis back, your phone lights up with a call from your father. You answer on the second ring.

“Hey dad. What’s up?” “HEY KIDDO!!” Jesus. Your dad is enthusiastic and as loud as ever. “HOW ARE YOU TODAY, my sweet, dear offspring?”

“I’m chill. Getting off work. You?” You smile to yourself while grabbing the rest of your things to leave for home.

“Just got out of like, my fifth meeting today. It’s awful. I think they’re trying to kill me over here? I’m pretty sure they only paid for the plane ticket because they’re going to reap my organs after they LITERALLY bore me to death. I’m 100% sure my presence isn’t even needed for any of this.” He rants into the phone.

“Dad. You’re the lead project planner. You have to be there. It’s like.. your entire job.” You laugh into the phone. “I thought my entire job was so sit there and look pretty?” “Really? You think they’d choose you for that when they have Brian? Dad, come on. You know how beautiful he is.” You hear your dad sigh wistfully. “Yeah, that gorgeous bastard. Anyway. I’m real sorry in advance, but they’re extending my stay for another couple of days, and instead of being back tomorrow, I’ll be back next thursday.” He says, sounding apologetic.

“Oh, okay. That sucks.” You try not to sound disappointed. “Kiddo I’m sorry! If I could come home tonight I would get on that plane in a heartbeat. I hate this as much as you do.”

“I know. And it’s alright. I’m going out tonight anyway, and I’ll hold down the fort until next week yeah?” “You know you’re my favorite kid, right?” He says. “Dad, I’m your only kid.” You scoff into the phone. “That YOU know of! Love you!” and he hangs up. You roll your eyes, stuff your phone into your pocket, and head out.

Your house wasn't very far from Funland, meaning you could walk home alone safely even at night. Not that Beach City was ever an unsafe town.. if you conveniently happen to forget the aliens trying to destroy the town several times. 

Within minutes you were unlocking your front door, toeing off your work shoes, and heading up into your room. You drop all your shit onto the floor, and flop on your bed. You wonder to yourself, should you be putting more effort into your appearance tonight? Steven did say it was 1930’s themed.. you don’t have very many dressy clothes. You feel like the only color you look good in is black, so you get up and open up your closet. Flowery dress.. God no. Overalls? Noooooo. You swipe through too many sweaters, honestly. There’s a couple decent things in here to put an okay outfit together, or.. wait. Ha! There. That cute black dress you wore 2 years ago for your aunt’s funeral. It’s the best you’ve got, you admit to yourself. And you even still have those black flats! Look, like basically zero effort involved.

You head to the bathroom with your things for tonight and take a shower. It feels nice to scrub off the layer of sweat and grime that come specifically from working at Funland. Oh and, not having to smell like carpet deodorizer and stale caramel popcorn is always a plus. Once out of the shower, you dry off and get into your clothes. You style your hair in your favorite way, and just put on a small bit of makeup. You know, small efforts help to feel less like a paper bag. You look nice for once, you admit to yourself. 

You head downstairs, stuffing your phone and wallet into a small shoulder purse. Grabbing your keys, you put your shoes on, say goodbye to your cat, and walk out the door, making sure to lock it behind you. With your keys safely stored in your bag, you headed into town. The bar was roughly ten to fifteen minutes away, so you decided to hoof it. No need to waste money on a taxi when you had two perfectly toned legs, ya’ll.

#Spinel #spinel x reader #Spinel SU #Steven Universe #spinel self insert #su fic #fic #my fic #devils ballroom

[clown-bait]

A Very Monster Christmas (Monster Roommate AU) PT6

Ok so this is the final chapter for part 2 but obviously theres a long way to go. I consider this the middle part of this whole story. Part 3 will be out later this week so look forward to that folks!

CH 23 Santa Baby

“Another successful French exit!” Leech sighed happily shutting her curtains from the blizzard that had begun outside. She jumped from her bed when a gloved hand tapped her shoulder.

“Pennywise?” her ears perked up.

“Probably not the one you're thinking of.” a gruff voice answered her.

“Oh uh hey pops.” Leech said shuffling uncomfortably.

“No need for the nerves Fangs you're family now.” Uncle Penny chuckled almost gently. He handed her a glass of warm red liquid that wide red smile making his eyes twinkle. The vampire cautiously sipped from the glass.

“Thanks? What’s the catch here?”

“No catch, you gotta put on some meat for the little ankle biters.” The older clown smirked patting her shoulder.  “Speaking of the brats can I say hello?”

“I’m pretty sure its only been like three weeks don’t think there's much there to talk to.” leech finished her beverage quickly licking the glass clean as she watched her in-law approach her.

“And I’m pretty sure this will go by a lot faster than normal Fangs.”

“Has something like this ever happened before?” Leech asked pulling up her shirt to watch her insides glow.

“I had tried it with a human once while Junior slept, self preservation attempt.” he grimaced a bit at the memory. “The host didn't last long enough…” the older clown paused when the savory flavor of fear drifted into his large red nose. “Don't worry Fangs, I think you have a much better chance at it.” Uncle Penny placed a gloved hand over her skin and made a similar trill to his younger counterpart his being deeper with a jazz like flair. The lights within her flashed rapidly like lightning in a bottle. After an awkward moment of silence he burst out laughing. “Oh man those are Junior’s kids all right!! Violent little brats!”

“Great, do any of them take after me?”

“Yeah the extremely vicious ones.” Uncle Penny started to laugh again at his own joke.

“Oh come on! I’m not that bad!” the vampire huffed pulling down her shirt and going back to licking the cup clean.

“Oh trust me Peachy you're bad.” Pennywise Junior stood in the doorway and smirked.  

“You like it though.” Leech beamed reaching for him to join her.

“You are very right my dear. I love it.” he grinned back leaning down to nuzzle his nose against hers. “I missed you.” he whispered warmly. The elder clown rolled his eyes.

“Get a room ya heathen.”

“I'm in it, you however are welcome to leave at any time.” the younger Pennywise cocked an eyebrow at his older self as he pulled his mate’s legs over his own. His uncle made a face and left to rejoin the other murderers downstairs shutting the door with him. “I’ll tell your mom you weren't feelin’ good. Don't bounce my grandkids around too much Junior.”

“Oh my god leave.” Leech groaned as her mate cackled his bells bouncing with him.“What’s put you in such a good mood?” the vampire asked as her hands found their way into Penny’s ruffles.

“Your mother fed me more cookies!” he purred. “She also wants you to wear this hat.” her clown pulled a santa hat over her bald head then grabbed the little puff ball on the end to play with.

“Wow you are easy to please.” Leech chuckled.

“Come, I wish to see Krueger beaten into submission by your video gaming before he leaves.”

“Maybe later Pen I want to be alone for a bit.” Leech mumbled and then grew silent again. Penny sniffed the air and roughly cupped her cheeks “Talk.”

“Am I really that easy to read?”

“Like a book.”

“Well since there's no hiding it. I'm overwhelmed.” she sighed and rested her head on her clown’s warm chest. “All this, the pregnancy, my mom, Mike Hanlon, finding out I'm a useless bargaining token. Did I tell you I still can’t influence minds without bleeding all over the place? Talk about a blow to my self esteem.”

“Peachy” her clown removed her from his lap and rose to his feet pulling her up to stand equal with him. “Do you know why I bonded myself to you?”

“You have an insatiable thirst for undead pussy?”

“Other than that.”

“I'm at a loss.”

“Because you are incredibly stubborn.”

“I can't tell if that's a compliment or not.”

“In all my time here you are the only thing I have met with enough fight to bare my offspring. Anyone of lesser will would not survive, you were made for me my love.”  

“You could've just you like your women high strung.” Leech laughed to herself and hugged her clown tight. She couldn't tell if it was from the hormones or just the feeling of hugging him that made tears well up in her eyes and she quickly buried her face to hide it as feelings came out in waves. “Shit. Now you've gone and made me cry.”

“It was not meant to insult-“

“I love you. Stop talking.”

“No.” he hummed petting the soft hat on her cold head. “I brought the plant with me!”

“The what?”

“The kissing plant the one you hang up?”

“Mistletoe?”

“Yess!” the clown bounced excitedly pulling said plant out from seemingly nowhere “I want to use it! That is what one does with their mate on this day yes?” he stared at her eagerly as he worked at fastening it to the ceiling.

“Move it over the bed.” Leech tugged at him a bit till his unnaturally long arm was over her mattress. “Perfect. Get over here baby daddy.” she giggled through her sharp buck teeth. Pennywise joined her with a trademark cackle that trailed off as he pulled her close cupping her cheeks in his large hands.

“What about our guests darling?”

“Fuck em. Party’s over anyway, we’ll just say I was having an emotional hormone breakdown or some BS.”

Pennywise made an amused rumble and brought his lips just out of reach of hers stopping to take in her scent. He shut his eyes and inhaled deep as thick sweet smells assaulted his senses. “I love you too little hunter.” he growled out seconds before smashing his lips into hers. Leech could feel the heat of his warm plump lips engulfing hers that were extra cold in the winter air. His embrace was heated as his talons pressed into skin and fangs sloppily dragged against lips.  

“You know” Leech panted between furious kisses “Mistletoe is a parasite.” Pennywise shoved his mate backwards onto her bed and crawled on top of her pinning her body with his massive form. His lips latched back onto her nipping at the soft flesh with his teeth while grinding his squirming erection down against her hips. He pulled off panting and still dry humping her making a goofy smirk in realization “Like our children!” he giggled.

“Oh my god you can't call them parasites” Leech laughed and gasped as Penny licked and kissed his way to her waistband dragging his long fingers over her stomach. “NO! OH GOD THAT TICKLES NO!” she shrieked and jolted as his claws ghosted over her skin. The clown’s eyes lit up like the twinkling lights that decorated the houses outside.

“Does it now? Maybe Pennywise should punish you for being so naughty this year hmm?”

“Oh no! NO PENNY!” Leech squealed as her clown started his assault laughing with her and getting lost in the moment. Deadly talons meant to slice throats sheathed themselves replaced with soft gloved fingers that danced ever so gently over her skin as she giggled and thrashed.

“Naughty, Naughty, Naughty!” he chanted as continued to attack her. Leech tried to grab his arms to stop him but Penny snarled grabbing her shirt and pulling it up off her head in one swift motion leaving it on her wrists as a makeshift restraint. He smirked in her face as he held her arms up brining his free hand back over her body. The clown bowed his head down and for the first time noticed the red lingerie she had hidden from him underneath her baggy pajamas. Pennywise sat as still as a statue until he a low rumble dripping with lust rattled from his throat. The eldritch’s claws ran up her sides in a much less playful way, all the way up till each cupped an entire breast and the creature loomed over his mate with an absolutely feral look in his eyes. “NaUghTy.” he hissed his voice baritone and distorted and Leech swore she saw steam leave his lips..

“Merry Christmas Ruffles.” Leech smirked her long front fangs shining in the moonlight.

The clown growled and manhandled her up till she was sitting on his lap his costume melting away into a more “holiday appropriate" one complete with a santa hat of his own. Leech impatiently pushed open his cherry red coat feeling his steel muscles underneath only to have her throat harshly grabbed and fangs graze her ear. Pennywise squeezed her neck tighter as he moved his nose and fang filled lips over the skin on her face hissing and inhaling her adrenaline filled scent. “Tell me naughty girl what’s your name.” he snarled pulling her face against him by her jaw. Of course he'd want to make this into some perverted Santa role play. Leech smiled nervously as her breathing labored under his iron grip.

“L-Lee-“

“Not tonight.” he snapped at her forcing her to look him in the eye. “Tonight you are Fuck Meat. understand?”

leech squirmed and panted “Holy shit penny…” in an instant Pennywise cut off her air and yanked her back against him.

“UNDERSTAND?!” he nearly roared and Leech prayed no one downstairs noticed the loud eldritch noises coming from her room. He eased his grip on her throat slightly letting air back into her lungs and she gasped out her answer.

“Y-y-yes sir!”

“That’s better my little toy, much better. Do you want to tell Ol’ Pennywise what you want for Christmas Fuck Meat?

“Well sir I was really hoping for a nice long candy cane.” Leech smiled and reached for his belt buckle. Penny wrenched her hand away and held it right below his jaws.

“Ohhh but you've been such a naughty girl Fuck Meat. Naughty girls don't get treats.” he growled and unsnapped her bra  “Do you know what naughty girls get?” Penny practically purred returning his grip to her neck just a little bit tighter than last time.

Leech shook her head in his grasp and penny moved her hand to his buckle guiding her to undo it.

“A thick piece of coal.” he hissed as something very large and very different sprung free. It was thick and the color of charcoal, a bit of precum beaded at the top and ran down its ridges. Leech swallowed hard at the sight of it.

“Merry Christmas.” he all but snarled into her ear as he guided her hand to touch what Leech would describe as the evilest cock she'd ever seen. The organ was strangely warm and slimy exactly what one would expect from an eldritch horror. It throbbed as she stroked him and Penny groaned when her nails trailed up the sensitive ridges.

“Yeeesss” he hissed forcing her head down to stare at his demonic cock. “Look how good you're making your Penny feel, it leaks for you.” Pennywise brought his hand to her bare breast pinching and twisting one of her nipples grinning wickedly when she moaned for him. “Need to get you nice and wet my little fuck meat.” he whispered removing her hands from him and laying her down. “Wouldn't want the little ones to get hurt.” he smirked at her as he removed her panties with his teeth licking his way back up her inner thigh. He licked a stripe up her pussy and then probed her entrance lubricating her with his massive amounts of drool. Leech gripped his arm and gave him a sharp squeeze and a pair of amber eyes flicked up from between her legs.

“Be careful ok?”

The clown broke character for a brief moment moving up his mate to kiss her cheek in reassurance “They are half me and half you. I promise they will be safe.” Leech turned her nose into him smiling and tracing her fingers over his cheekbones.

“Ok…ok you can continue.”

Pennywise growled and pulled her wrists up over her head. “That's not the game we’re playing tonight.” a pair of shadowy tentacles slithered out from the teeth at the base of his cock wrapping around Leech’s legs to hold them apart.

“Tell me again nicely, what do you want for christmas Fuck Meat.”

“You.” she panted “I want you.”

“You want me to what?” Penny grinned wickedly and ground himself in the slimy slick folds of his mate’s pussy.

“P-Penny.” Leech sputtered as the ridges of his cock grazed over her clit

“Tell me Fuck Meat!” he spat stopping his movements and resting his head at her entrance.

“P-Please Pennywise. Please I want you to fuck me.”

Pennywise let out a shaky growl and sent his hips slowly forward, Leech cried out as he parted her lips. Inch after horrible inch sank into her in what felt like slow motion. His bumps and ridges dragged along her inner walls and Leech could only imagine what they'd feel like once he started thrusting. Pennywise’s eyes had rolled back and his goblin shark mouth grew out of his lips in a silent scream. She was so perfectly fitted around his new cock and molten hot drool dripped from his gums onto his mate’s chest like candle wax.  

When he finally regained composure and started to move it took Leech everything she had not to let out a loud moan instead turning her head and biting down onto her comforter. She could feel the slow and steady drag of Pennywise’s cock against her walls and her legs wrapping tightly around him pulling his hips in to hit deeper. Penny let out a deep groan and snapped his hips harder arching his cock in a way that hit her in all the right spots. He knew her body like the back of his own hand and could make her scream if he wanted to. Penny gave his mate a few more test pumps then with a snap of his fingers removed his costume which cindered off of his skin feeling like static around Leech’s legs. He moved to lay on top of her his warm skin covered her cool flesh like an electric blanket as he began to hump into her at a steady rhythm. One of his claws gored into her thigh the other ripped into the mattress as steam left his lips in a breathy growl. Leech moved her own set of talons up his lean biceps then to his shoulders feeling the raw dormant power contained within the form he wore. The creature under the clown skin churred with delight as she panted out his name like a prayer. It didn't matter what form he took her as she loved IT wholly and completely and those three magic words they rarely said to one another came spilling out of her lips as his speed increased.

“Penny!” she found herself whining “Penny, I love you! Oh god I love you, I love you!” she couldn't control her babbling and involuntarily dug her claws into the marble white flesh of his back. Her clown let out a primordial roar fangs extending forward thrusts hard and feral. “Say it again love. Praise me!” he demanded losing himself to his mate’s body as he rutted into her with his new cock. He shifted it again inside her wanting to see what different sensations he could feel as his cock head flared open slightly to stretch her walls. Leech yelped at the change and Penny smiled wickedly into her skin his hot breath washing over her in waves as his speed increased again. “Mmmmmm take it Fuck Meat! Penny’s little cocksleeve! Yeesss take all of me! Take it, take it take iT!” he babbled until his language was nothing more than slurred almost-words amongst the churrs and growls. Sensory overload began to blur the vampire’s vision and she struggled to find the words until they burst out of her lungs in gasps “FUCK Pennywise I'm close, I'm fucking close! Please!” she begged him bringing him out of his trance and finally one of his hands moved off her breasts to that sensitive little bundle of nerves between her legs. Leech gasped at the contact arching her hips and pushing back into him her face straining and cracking from the pressure of holding back. “Go on my love, cum for me! Cum for your Penny. Cum cum cum!” Pennywise somehow managed to rasp out desperate to feel her squeeze and spasm around him. When she came Leech felt as if a meteor had just crashed and exploded in her body which seized tight around her clown. Pennywise’s eyes rolled back from the sensation, teeth extended forward as he grabbed her neck in his jaws holding her in place while he met his own release. His love growls rumbled through his body as Leech twitched with aftershocks till his cock stilled its pumping of floating seed into her.

The vampire somehow found her arms and wrapped them around her mate who still held her in his jaws petting his matted hair was about all she could do. Finally after what seemed like a thousand years teeth retracted from her skin and Pennywise pulled out, a trail of opal liquid floating around their bodies from where they conected.

“Holy fuck.” Leech panted as the clown collapsed with a grunt.

The eldritch groaned and yanked a blanket on top of him. turning away from his mates gaze.

“At the end there..it was almost like you were…..Pen was that your version of love making?”

The clown made an inhuman moo-like growl tucking his long limbs in as he flopped over onto his side. he refused to look at her and buried his face in the blanket letting out a low dangerous hiss.

“Look big guy I know you don't like talking about your feelings but its ok alright? I loved it and I love you. Also I'm fucking freezing give me some of that blanket.”

A pair of golden eyes flicked open then his arm lifted the comforter up like a cloak allowing Leech to slip under it and fit herself against him. She had never felt his naked clown form like this outside of sex his body was so smooth and abnormally warm. She liked the feeling and pressed herself into him more hoping he wouldn't pull away.

“How are the kids?” she asked bringing his hand down to her belly desperate to hear him say something. Finally he moved tracing his fingers lightly over her stomach then pressing his warm palm over her womb.

“Happy. You are happy so are they.”

“That’s cause their daddy knows how to make me smile.” Leech turned over and beamed up at her clown.

“Merry Christmas Peachy.” he finally grinned through cherry red lips and bunny teeth.

Leech leaned up and kissed the tip of his nose “Merry Christmas to you too Pennywise.”

The vampire buried her face in the crook of the eldritch’s neck letting his deep rumbling purrs and smells of chocolate and peppermint lull her into comfort. And forever safe in the arms of her boogie man, the queen of Derry finally fell into a deep warm sleep.

-------------------------------------

YEAH MIDDLE PART IS DONE WOOH! The good news is I have basically 4 chapters of the next part of this story already written so the waits wont be so long until I get caught up to the start of IT Ch2 then obviously Im gonna wait to see how that plays out. So yay for me finishing things for once!

#pennywise #pennywise x oc #pennywise fanfiction #it fanfiction #horror fanfiction #slasher fanfiction #its march and im releasing a christmas fic #enjoy my filth #monster roommate au

[lockdown-official]

Dude. Don’t fuck with anyone Salads cares about Jesus, maybe Salads is just being a pussy in Lockdown but if Anne did that in real life I feel like she would have a bullet in her head my god.

If you are referring to comments I have made, I apologize I have been told I spit venom

And to clarify, Anne is a real person and I based the whole situation with her loosely based off of soemthing that happened in real life... just less... spicy? There was no death in the real situation but she did technically try to frame Asher, but no... sadly I didn’t put a bullet through her head as much as I had wanted to.

Eh. I'll tell the story.

So pretty much, Valentine's day dance, friend group decides to go and do friend group stuff (including randomly disappear and spend like 1000000$ on snacks), bla blah blah. Anyway, dance lets out early(hour early, everyone p'ed about it since it was a last minute thing), and everyone's waiting. Cue stupid girl friend group where I find some of my other friends, blah blah blah, start chasing one of them for some reason(stupid, ik)

then,

slip.

thud.

She had her phone in her jacket pocket and it slipped out, and hit a little bump of concrete(the school is about as old as Goodwin, so a lot of the sidewalks don't line up and are uneven), and of course she picks up her phone, starts freaking out and of course I'm just being like "sh*t." And Salads has been there watching the whole thing, along with others(important later) and eventually she(Anne, which I forgot to state is the one who's phone just got "broken")

She starts b*tchin at me about how I broke her phone and all that jazz, shows it to everyone, lalala. She keeps yelling I did it on purpose(I didn't. I'd been apologizing the entire time.), and Salads comes to my defense with the fact that they've seen the phone prior and that there's not one new crack(supported by the fact that the phone looked pretty durable. I have no idea how the heck she managed to get it that cracked in the first place.)

So I'm a little bit in doubt because the phone didnt hit the bump direct, it kinda dropped on the ground and slid into the bump. I'm actually gonna drop a bitta science, but basically what I'm thinking is that because we were running, the phone slid out of the pocket and hit the ground coming in from an angle, the same way rockets do the 42° thing to prevent burning up. So I don't think it could've done that much damage, but at the time that's not what I'm thinking. I'm thinking that I'm gonna have to save my allowance up and all that.

And she's still threatening me, everyone's yelling, I'm still apologizing, and she says her brother will jump me(No he won't. I know him, we're acquaintances and pretty friendly, enough that I know he won't do that and he's pretty chill.), so on. Continue this until she

just

literally.

straight up SLAPS ME. LIKE. MEXICAN MAMA W/ A CHICLE SLAP.

So instantly I go into silent mode and basically shut down, thinking about what to do. By now my friends and some others have circled around mostly in support of me despite most of it being on her.

Pretty soon after she has to leave, and we all are talking, and at that point we've basically all figured out she's just lying for the money or something.

Cut to a few minutes later, car pulls up. (Luckily someone had their phone ready to record and we caught this part, but I won't post it.) Window rolls down and it's her mom. She's in raging-demon-devil-666-beast mode(now official) and she won't let anyone get a single word in. Apparently Anne had told her mom I slapped her phone out of her hand as hard as I could onto the concrete just because I'm a rude a**hole.(and I'm being immature???)

Anyway, the mom says she's gonna talk to the principal the following Monday(the dance took place on a Friday) and I was really worried. So my brain goes instant survival mode.

1. I've been physically assaulted.

2. Slander is most likely involved

3. I've been verbally assaulted, without the chance to say my side of the story.

4. I....have....witnesses.

Afterwards, I went around asking people for signatures on that they saw what happened and if they agreed with me(0 people didn't. The entire situation sounds like a r/thathappened to me too, looking back. Idk) I got a total of 6 signatures(including me and Salads who would vouch for ourselves, obviously.)

Come the following Monday and every Monday afterwards, I was never called into the Principal's Office about any broken phone.

Note: We had also been telling them our side(when we could) and our evidence, so I like to think that Anne eventually told her mom and she got in trouble for it, which was her mom never came in to the school about it.

Got a bit lucky. I guess the moral of the story is, if you ever do something bad, hope the other person is irrational enough to physically abuse you, lie to others about the situation, and coerce others into verbally abusing you.

I came out on top though, in the end.

No guarantees that'll stay the same in Lockdown, though.

50/50 chance I guess

-Asher

P.S. I'll probably turn this into a post soon.

Ahh, memories.

[ultraviolencced]

music tag i was tagged by @lesnbian thanks fren ily 💞 Rules: put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs that come up, along with your favourite lyric, and tag people! 1.cola- lana del rey "my pussy tastes like pepsi cola, my eyes are wide like cherry pie, i got sweet taste for men who are older" 2.isle of flightless birds- twenty one pilots "we pick songs to sing, remind us of things that nobody cares about and honestly we're probably more suicidal than ever now" 3.coming down- halsey "now we're lost somewhere in outer space in a hotel room where demons play they run around beneath our feet we roll around beneath these sheets" 4.freak- lana del rey "we could slow dance to rock music kiss while we do it talk til we both turn blue" 5.screen- twenty one pilots "while your doing fine there's some people and i who have a really tough time getting through this life so excuse us while we sing to the sky" 6.hallelujah- panic! at the disco "no one wants you when you have no heart and im sitting pretty in my brand new scars and you'll never know if you don't ever try again" 7.na na na- my chemical romance "oh let me tell you about the sad man shut up and let me see your jazz hands remember when you were a madman thought you was batman and hit the party with a gas can" 8.ultraviolence- lana del rey THE ENTIRE SONG um but just one i guess would be "cause i was filled with poison but blessed with beauty and rage" 9.somebody else- the 1975 "get someone you love get someone you need fuck that get money i can't give you my soul cause we're never alone" 10.fucked my way up to the top- lana del rey (wow spotify w o w great shuffle) again the WHOLE ENTIRE SONG (ultraviolence as a whole is just so perfect a true lyrical masterpiece) "i fucked my way up to the top this is my show i fucked my way up to the top go baby go this is my show" i tag @kokiri-kelly @random-clever-username @farie @prettyyweeper @outerspacejosh @spookyjimrippedmas @spookyyjosh @beanboyjoseph @imnxtgerard-iprxmise u don't have to if u don't wanna

#tag thing #about me

[anyu-blue]

So I dreamt I got to say what was on my mind...

In one of my feverish half sleeping weird state dreams... I dreamt I got to say to my liar of an ex my entire- "You wish you were shit, but you're not because shit actually provided nutrients at some point along the way and still will after being excreted" blah blah blah spiel...

Cool!

His reaction was to tear up while I got a shit eating grin on my face-- full of teeth and health as an added Insult I found a way to get that issue fixed and the last time he saw me was without and all blah XP (we're in the middle of fixing my teeth issue and health right now!!! So woo!! Perhaps deja Vu?)--- aaaand everyone else was completely horrified with me. Not that I cared because I finally got to say it. (I'm hoping since that was so satisfying in my dream- and so evil ngl- I won't have to or really feel the urge to if I ever see him again. Hopefully I got it out of my system so to speak).

...

But now that I'm awake and processing.. mostly from being half awake I feel... I've been hit with another, possibly even worse scathing idea that could come out of my mouth... And oh boy. It's a doozy...

Looking in the mirror I've been struggling a lot. A lot a lot lately. Trying to figure out where I fit in, yeah? What to do about/with myself and all that fun Jazz... With my ex on my mind while looking in the mirror and putting on a dress (it's hot and I don't want to layer up)... I remembered having sex of course... And... Part of the reason he may have dumped me/become a shithead in the first place...

He believes he may be sterile, or close to it. Okay...

So here's the thing...

With the gender identity and all that fun stuff...

It's rough. Sorry in advance.

Can you even be considered a man if all you shoot is blanks?

And I...

WHOOF.

This isn't coming from my own personal beliefs (obviously- I mean I've got the parts but I am not a woman in my mind AT ALL) but more along the lines of how I was treated and called by him and his family and all that fun stuff too... Like... Whoof...

He has some beliefs that differ from mine. He's a Trump sympathizer if that helps any... (though abjectly refuses to vote)...

And I suppose is probably more sensitive to the fact he might not be able to have biological kids than he lets on....

This insult would come out if he or his friends would bring up that I'm 'trying to be what I'm not' argument.. that I'm just a woman or something like that...

It would be in response... And designed to hurt more that really argue... But basically say- oh hey!! He can't have biological kids without scientific intervention (and possibly not even then) and yet still thinks himself a man?? So that means if I grow a dick that shoots blanks I'm a man too (possible with scientific intervention)!!

Or I'm more of a man because I actually communicate rather than cower and hide and run to the next comfort in life instead of facing my god fears. He's too much of a pussy to be a man.

It is literally the meanest possible thing I can think of right now... It's so mean.

It's partly from my bitterness of being treated like and called a woman based on things I can't control, and all the pushback I get when I tell people I'm not/try to be more comfortable with not being one over all... I know that's part of it. And I know another chunk is still me feeling so hurt by Everything he did and lied about... All the trust I had in him and love of sorts.

In the dream I was able to get out that I actually don't have such a jealousy streak as I thought I did.. that l, honestly, I'm cool with poly and open relationships and I'm not scared of that fact anymore. There was a rise in tension in the sense of 'oooh so it was okay I went with other women! Does this mean we can get back together?'.... Which was handily slapped down because 1) I'm not a woman, 2) it was NOT okay because lack of communication, 3) why would I ever want to get back with some spineless lying thing that thinks he's shit he's not?

There's... A lot of bitterness there. A lot of hurtful things that I conjure up after being hurt...

I believe if I ever have the opportunity to say these things I won't... Or if I try, I'll be tripping all over myself and it won't have the power it had while I was dreaming about it... So I can certainly Live with the satisfaction and all that evil existing only in my head and my dreams... Lol especially because I know everyone was so disappointed in me in my dream already 😅 imagine the real world consequences of my family seeing that.

I would literally be the awful person they think I am. (Many of my family see me as lazy, aloof, uncaring, and overbearing... Which I do have traits of- we all do, we're human- and neglect to see what I actually do, how hard I work to do what I do, how literally disabled I have been through my entire life and still am and will be, ect ect... I am seen as an evil in many eyes. Something I wish I could change and my family has actively caused me harm by perpetuating and believing--- though one happy side note is Tev's boss actually feels bad for having turned me away!!! I found that out not too long ago!! SCORE for my feels!! She thought I was weird and not a hard worker because my step mom and Tevs both claimed up instead of asking her to hire me... Which is literally all I needed to get the job, just one good word that I showed up to work!!!... And they didn't say I was reliable. They didn't say anything other than.. I'm weird.... And it actually has cost their workplace dozens of hours in training quitters and someone just as alert and willing to work as Tevs.. where if she had hired me well... I wouldn't have left and would have helped more than she ever thought. She actually apologized to Tevs because I'm spending more time with Tevs and hearing Tevs talk about me.. she's HORRIFIED by what I've had to go through in my life and realizes THAT'S why I'm weird. I'm not wishy-washy... I'm traumatized and scatterbrained because of it. But I always get my work done.--- if they stop and realized like I have that yeah I'm weird, but I love very hard... They would realize I don't actively do stuff like that unless pushed to the brink- where when they do it they've always had my open arms and mind to come home to... Talk about hypocrites :P)

Okay.. done rambling now. I feel better 😅

Though WOW I'm technically an evil person on some levels. WHOOF... But I can't say it isn't because I haven't been pushed there. I can say I mean well and genuinely try my best.

#personal #random #ignore me #life in general #WARNING #trigger warnings apply #gender #scathing #scathing remarks #mean thoughts #rambling #dreams #sense of self #self

[artsychica2012]

(via The NegusWhoRead Definitive List Of People Not Invited To The Cookout | NegusWhoRead)

As July 4th rolls around (Not Independence Day, because we celebrate that on Juneteenth) Black America once again engages in the time-honored cultural tradition that requires disparate groups come together as one to work toward a common goal–eating like hell. Cookouts are like fingerprints–everyone has them, each one is different and if they are in the wrong place, you can get in a lot of trouble.

After the landmark Caucasian Guide To Black Barbecues, NegusWhoRead became the definitive source for cookouts. As such, we have been tapped by the global cookout community to provide a list of people who are excluded from this year’s festivities, so we present the 2017 NegusWhoRead list of people not invited to the cookout.

Rachel N’Becki Mutombo Shaka Zooloo Afeni Dolezal – Aunt Phyllis always said “there’s something funny about that girl. She never claps on beat and she her chicken salad always needs a little more seasoning.” I don’t know who invited her in the first place. I think she just showed up one year and kept coming. After one of the kids last year said: “I only have to do two things: stay black and die!” I heard Trans-Rachel say, “Well, actually…” and realized that we could no longer allow Becky Badass to keep Columbus-ing our cookouts.

Or our culture.

Empty-Handers – According to the new rules of the CCBA (The Cookout Collective Bargaining Agreement) if you are over 21 years old and you show up at the cookout without bringing anything, you are automatically subject to a 3-year suspension. I know we all go through economic struggles, but you can go to the Piggly Wiggly and get 1,204 cans of NuGrape for like $1.28, so please don’t play the poor-mouth card.

In fact, the new CCBA is pretty definitive on this–for every $10 you spend on your cookout outfit, you must spend at least $1 on cookout items. If you show up wearing the new Yeezy boosts, but can’t afford a pack of aluminum foil or a bag of ice, then you must not care about the economic empowerment of your community.

Steve Harvey – I’ve been trying to warn the international cookout community about this negro ever since he bamboozled the masses into buying that elementary-school intelligence, “self-help” misogyny coloring book called Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man, but no one would listen to me. Just because he stole one of the Whispers’ mustache and outfitted deacons across America in Easter suits doesn’t mean he deserved any of my Aunt Marvell’s potato salad. But ever since he told a Flint, Michigan resident to “Enjoy your nice brown glass of water” only months after hooking up with President Trump to give his professional advice as the least funniest King of Comedy on how to fix the inner city, and a few weeks after writing a memo telling his staff to never look him in the eyes or show the whites of their teeth in his presence,  we saw Steve Harvey’s true colors. It’s not that we hate Steve Harvey, it’s just that our cousin Quan is coming down from Flint, and I don’t want him to slap the shit out of Steve sending mustache hairs flying everywhere.

Some of them might land in the potato salad.

Drop Off-ers – Listen, Nikki; Every year, you come by the cookout, grab you a plate, drop your bad-ass kids off and leave without telling anyone. You know your children are–let’s just say “very energetic”–and they won’t listen to anyone. Two years ago you got mad at Uncle Junior because he beat SharGregory’s behind for throwing firecrackers on the grill. I admit that shit was kinda funny, but her little stunt ruined three whole racks of ribs! And you know Junior has PTSD! He started calling for his drill sergeant and pulled out his knife and almost cut your son! I will also admit that I was impressed that Matthewina knew the entire routine to Beyoncé’s “Formation” at the Labor Day cookout, but whenever anyone tried to correct her behavior, we grew tired of her screaming, “Leave me alone! You ain’t my daddy!”

When I got a little frustrated, I pulled her aside and asked her who her daddy was, and she replied, “I don’t know. I just know it ain’t you!”

White women – Although we will make an exception for Rachel Maddow and Teena Marie (wait… she died? When? Ain’t nobody told me nothing!) you have played us for the last time. We thought y’all were cool with us, but then you smiled in our faces and went behind our backs and voted for that citrus-skinned, rooster-headed doofus for President. Then you tried to double back and get us to don pink pussy hats and march with y’all after looking down your noses and sat out the entire Black Lives Matter movement. It’s not that we don’t like you, it’s that you always want to use feminism as a tool to separate yourselves out from white men when we speak of our plight while enjoying the benefits of your whiteness. You participated in every form of white supremacy this country has ever known–slavery, Jim Crow, lynchings… Now you heaux wanna show up with a Tupperware container of kale shish-ka-bobs talmbout “resist.” Man, we don’t fuck with y’all like that anymore! You better get the fuck from around our grill before we call the poli–

Nah, strike that. We’ll just end up getting shot.

Reneggers – No, I’m not talking about the n-word. I’m talking about the people who renege during the spades game. Whether by accident or through nefarious cheating, we are tired of having to break up fights at the card table every year because you cut puppytoes and then tried to slide in a six of clubs towards the end of the hand. Every time you cause a melee things get out of hand, so we have come up with a solution: A Spades referee.

From now on, Uncle Junior will settle all disputes regarding spades games, dominos, Uno, Red Light/Green Light, checkers and rock/paper/scissors. If you disagree with any of his rulings you can always appeal…

…to Uncle Junior’s knife.

Omarosa Manigault – Don’t think we have forgotten that you are sitting in every Trump meeting and press conference not speaking up for us. Don’t come through here this year thinking you are going to get you a plate, because some of our cousins might jump on you and beat you like you stole something.

…or even worse, beat you like you reneged.

Sage Steele – Wait… We already said “white women.”

Plate Rule-breakers – At cookouts in Black America, we abide by the parliamentary plate procedural policies outlined in Robert’s Rules of Cookout Order. While I won’t go over all of them right here, there are a few rule changes for this year that you must familiarize yourself with in order to attend:

The international sanctioning body has reduced the number of to-go plates any attendee is allowed to fix to one. Uno. That’s it. The only exception is for people who paid or bought something for the cookout, but had to miss because of work or sickness. You must bring a doctor’s or work excuse and the committee will review it to see if it stands.

One scoop. That’s it. I know you want some more of Aunt Marvell’s potato salad, but you better pile it up in that one spoonful like you’re digging a grave.

No to-go plate shall be fixed until everyone in attendance has eaten. If I see you fixing your plate beforehand, it is legal for me to grab a rib off of it.

Everyone under the age of 9 can only eat hamburgers and hot dogs. We know that old trick of putting extra ribs and macaroni on a plate and acting as if your kid is gonna eat it. We know that’s for you! Don’t make me call Uncle Junior… or his knife

That’s it. Those are the people we have chosen to exclude from this year’s cookout.

However, this doesn’t mean that everyone else is invited. Instead, we have seen the need to protect Black America’s most sacred tradition before wypipo do it like Kenny G did jazz, Macklemore did hip hop, or America did… well… everything.  As you embark on this 4th of July, remember to bask in the beautiful tradition of your beautiful people and never forget that British soldiers policing the colonies, killing a black man is what started the process that birthed America and 241 years later, they still haven’t solved that problem.

So when you’re at the cookout kicking out Beckies, remember, it’s the 4th of July. Until they fix that…

Ain’t no Independence Day, bih!

#happy 4th of july

[happynowidiot-blog-blog]

Can it just be Friday?

For the most part my last weekend in London was fun. Penny and I went and hung out with the boys in Greenwich on Friday night. We originally wanted them to come out to Kings Cross but George is pretty much skint and apparently spent today working. Yes, this is a development.  So, anyways, George will be broke until he gets his first paycheck. We decided to venture down to Lewisham. He wasn’t getting away with not saying good-bye. Penny and I managed to get to the house all on our own and then had to convince George to let us in. He was legitimately talking to us through the mail slot. Other George was apparently watching this but had no idea what was going on. He was so confused. Eventually we gained access to the house and Other George greeted us with hugs and kisses on the cheek.

We then spent a good ten minutes digging through their take-out menu drawer trying to find somewhere that would deliver us pizza. We pestered our George for awhile about what he wanted on his pizza and then got into the millionth conversation of the year about our accents. Other George spent a few minutes telling me that Chicago is pronounced “Chic-caahgo” instead of “Chicaago” (the way I pronounce it) before George jumped in and said Chicago with the hardest -a sound possible and I laughed and stopped arguing. Other George lectured us on the existence of the “imaginary r” in the English language. That’s why the English say “parth” instead of “path”. Apparently. We rolled out eyes and the Georges left to go buy drinks.

Karim, Esam’s brother, was in the shower when we got there and looked very confused when he came downstairs because he didn’t know we were coming over. He still greeted us in typical fashion with hugs, kisses, and pleasantries. Before he’d come downstairs and he’d just gotten out of the shower the hallway was flooded with the smell of clean boy. Attractive, clean boy. Mmm. Penny and I were standing at the bottom of the stairs sniffing and sighing. I was waiting for the Georges to come home right at that moment. Luckily, they waited until we were sitting in the living room willing the channel on the tv to change. Karim sat in one of the armchairs and I claimed the other. Penny and Other George took the couch and George sat on the beanbag at Penny’s feet.

We watched about an hour of Spiderman 3 before someone suggested changing the channel and we all went “Oh please god yes!”. Watching it had been funny if only because of the number of times Penny and I groaned whenever Mary Jane emotional. Karim and I also shared our extensive knowledge of comic book movies (I was so glad there was another geek present). When Spidey goes emo George made a comment about his “fringe” and Penny and I just about died. When the jazz club that Mary Jane works at first came on screen George cheered and I tried not to melt into a pile of goo. During the break up scene we were talking about boys crying and Other George admitted to being a crier. He’s more sensitive then he looks, he said. This is hard to believe because he looks like a teddy bear. An attractive teddy bear, but a teddy bear nonetheless. Our new goal is to get him to cry.

Penny and I went into Other George’s room to dig through his dvd shelf. Not a bad collection but the best part about this is just the room itself. We’d never been in it and the boys were all downstairs. There’s a huge Buddha statue on his mantle and candles on his shelf. There’s an incense holder, a single bed, the only full length mirror in the house, and a hilarious amount of beauty products visible inside the wardrobe. We came downstairs after snooping holding Dodgeball ready to fully embrace our roles as British men. Seriously, we are so not girls. We watched the movie while eating pizza and Penny and the boys drank beer. Karim set to work rolling joints for him and George. At one point he stopped to complain about a long hair he found in the grinder, “No one in the house has hair this long!” Penny and I tried not to laugh or make eye contact. It was one hundred percent one of ours. I’d forgotten about this but the first time we’d gone home with George, Esam had been hesitant about smoking in front of us. Most of the girls he knew disapproved of weed so he felt weird smoking with girls. Penny and I had laughed. Thus, the only girls that had been around that grinder recently were us. Whoops.

I wasn’t drinking but I desperately wanted to ask George for a drag. I didn’t though partially because I kind of hate that I felt like I wanted it that badly and partially because I didn’t want to be rude. He didn’t offer and I do know how expensive it is here. It was mostly tobacco anyways. I’m probably better off not killing my lungs this week. We were watching the movie and at one point Other George and Penny were cuddling. It was just more comfortable for them both the sit that way but it looked adorable. I was crazy jealous because Other George would be who I’d pick to cuddle with out of almost anyone. Other George at one point fell asleep and that was pretty hilarious. And then he shifted and woke himself up a bit but didn’t open his eyes. He literally was laughing at the movie with his eyes closed. That was awesome. Penny and I kept looking at each other and cracking up (or trying not to in some cases). George was a bit quiet but we found out later why (besides the obvious that not everyone talks through movies).

Other George went to bed and George disappeared into his room. I stuck my head in and found him clicking refresh on a some random football website. We ended up bugging him and spent like three hours watching stupid YouTube videos. There are moments when I think about my life like the English major I should be. I notice irony and pick out symbolism and enjoy drawing parallels and identifying foils. I think about my life in terms of plot diagrams and analyse things like most people struggle to analyse literature. I’ve always been very, very good at English. When I was 12, I attended a camp for gifted students at Northwestern. My class was literary analysis. It was three weeks long and condensed a semester of a high school class into this time period. I swear this is entirely responsible for shaping how I think. Anyways, Friday night was one of those moments. The second time we hung out with George and Jules it ended up being the four of us in Penny’s room until 6 AM watching stupid YouTube videos after forcing the boys to finish off the gin and vodka in the room (there was like four shots total between the two bottle. We didn’t know how much of a pussy George was about shots at this point). It was a nice parallel considering that we’ve known him for a year as of this weekend. And no, that isn’t creepy that I know that. It was my sister’s birthday. George is actually on the voicemail I left her last year (as is a bunch of random Swedes but that’s a different story).

It was nice to see George loosen up. Turns out he’s been annoyed with Other George lately which is why he wasn’t being super talkative while he was around. It also explains his annoyed face when Penny was cuddling with Other George. When he was talking about it he did a hilariously accurate impression of Other George. I never actually noticed how different their accents were (or at least I’d never thought about it) until then. We talked for awhile and Jesus do I love when we actually get to hang out with George, not the cool guy he likes to pretend he is or the asshole he becomes when drunk. He laughed his ass off at some of the videos (there was one that had him almost on the floor). At risk of sounding ridiculous, I love his laugh. His whole face lights up. It’s adorable.

We were screwing around on his computer and somehow got onto the discussion of people’s old MySpaces. This led to the not-so-fun discovery of my MySpace which includes a mortifying blog entry I wrote when I was 14. I had to leave the room while they read it. I tried to get control of the computer and Penny literally held me back while George clicked on the link and started to read out loud. I don’t think I’ve ever been more embarrassed, I could have actually died. George and Penny, on the other hand, were dying of laughter. It was this like free-verse psuedo-intellctual poem thing. Oh god, it’s bad. George, after he’d stopped laughing long enough to speak, said that it would actually be good if he didn’t know the context. However, as it was a 14 year old girl’s emo MySpace blog entry there was no way it could be taken seriously. It could have been worse. At least they laughed and didn’t just decide to never speak to me again.

We sat around in George’s room for awhile and then decided we should probably take off. We were cabbing it home as it was late. George offered us his bed again. Well, he said “You can stay but you’ll have to sleep on the sofa. Just kidding, you can sleep in my bed considering you hijacked it last time.” We protested that Esam had offered his bed and he looked so shocked. It was hilarious. We said thank you but we did really have to be up kind of early. He kept emphasizing that he wasn’t kicking us out. He was totally ok with us spending the night. The more he said it the more I wanted to turn to Penny and just say fuck it. It was really sweet of him to keep offering. Our cab got there eventually and we said good-bye. George finally opened the Christmas card we got the boys. It was actually a hilarious card. On the outside it said “Sorry I got so drunk at your party (next week)”. On the inside, it was addressed to “Dear Boys” and signed “<3 the Girls”. George laughed at it and put it on the mantle in the living room. We hugged Karim good-bye and he kissed us on the cheek and wished us a merry Christmas. We told him to have a good break and then moved to hug George. His hugs did not last nearly long enough. We’re not going to see him for a month (well, three weeks-ish). Penny and I were both a tad disappointed but he did tell me he wanted to Skype while I was in the States so that’ll be fun.

All in all, it was a really good night. Out faces literally hurt from laughing so much. We giggled for like six hours straight I swear. We also got the bonding time with George we wanted to badly. None of us were drunk and George wasn’t flying by any means. It was nice to just chill and talk and really solidify the friendship we’re not always convinced exists. He’s so much more relaxed and himself when he’s home. It’s amusing to watch how he interacts with the boys too. Things like right before we left Karim was in the kitchen doing something and George stuck his head in the hallway and asked what he was cooking. Karim said something and George goes, “Wanna make that a meal for two?” So adorable. He then said that he could contribute digestives to the meal. He was nibbling on a cookie, lookin’ adorable. Karim eventually brought him a plate with two pieces of toast on it. One piece had beans on it, the other had scrambled eggs. Karim held a plate set up the same way for himself. Penny and I were resisting the urge to profess our love for the two of them. It was completely the way one of their parents used to make food. You could just tell that they’ve been friends forever.

I also just love being around to observe that house. I swear to god I should just major in sociology. The kitchen is a disaster area. Seriously, no clean dishes at all. The floor is literally covered in random spills and I’ve never wanted to wipe down a counter more in my life. The best part about all of this is the post-it note stuck to the fridge that says “I cleaned the kitchen. You mess it up and I’ll mess you up!”. The number of boys that live in the house has been clarified as five. It’s George, Esam, Karim, Other George, and Leon. Hilarious thing? There are only four bedrooms. Esam has his own room (or is sharing his bed with Karim which would be funnier) and so do the Georges. The only room we haven’t been in is Leon’s which in our heads now contains bunk beds that he shares with Karim. No idea how the living arrangements were decided. Esam appears to be the only one with a double bed and definitely has the biggest room. George is the only one not in school but has his own room. Karim is Esam’s older brother but appears to be sharing with someone. It’s a mystery. Another mystery is what they’re all doing for break. George isn’t going home and neither is Karim but Esam and Leon are. Other George will head home to Chestnut (wherever the hell that is). How did Karim and Esam decide who get’s to go home? I know George and Karim are excited to be in London for NYE but that also means Christmas alone. Before I knew Karim was staying I was ready to miss my flight home so that George wouldn’t be alone for Christmas (that would have led to all sorts of good decisions, I’m sure).

We got home pretty late and tried not to say anything that could be in anyway funny because our faces literally hurt from smiling and laughing too much. This is much harder then you’d imagine. We went to bed and got up the next day and rushed to the Tower to go ice skating. It ended up just being Penny and I who went. It was fun though. I really enjoy ice skating and there is no better place that the Tower of London to go. It was incredibly pretty and wintery. We then went back to the flat and Penny went Christmas shopping while I cleaned up our mess from brunch and tried to nap. We ended up watching four episodes of Secret Diary of a Call Girl once she got back. We then went to dinner and got ready to go out. Shahida was out with her brother so it was just the two of us again.  Coco came over and hung out with us while we got ready. It was nice to see her.

We decided to skip the End of Term party and just go to the Big Chill. We went and it was alright. We decided to check out what was going on at the Social Club. There was supposed to be some Indie concert going on. Yeah, we walked in and something became very clear. “Indie concert” was apparently code for “lesbian night”. Yeah. We were literally surrounded by lesbians and some very confused guys who apparently didn’t get the memo either. It was kind of hilarious. We ended up talking to these guys Toby and Kev who ended up buying us drinks so we wouldn’t leave them with the lesbians. We did anyways and went back to Big Chill. The music had taken a turn for the worse somewhere along the way. I was quickly sobering up and far too drunk to keep drinking. My feet were killing me and Penny was drunk. In short, I was not having a good time. I didn’t want to leave though because Penny had started talking to this guy. I wasn’t sure why I was in such a bad place to be out but I didn’t want to ruin her last Saturday because I can’t keep my emotions in check. Eventually we were sitting on the couches upstairs and Penny started making out with this guy. I opened Facebook on my phone. I am so cool.

I was already pretty miserable at this point and then someone from home’s status was “BLIZZARD WARNING!”. I almost burst into tears. That was the worst time to find out that anything might prevent me from getting home on Friday. The music was still bad and I ended up getting hit on by the old French guy when I went to sit downstairs because I got sick of watching Penny make out with this random. I took that as my cue to get Penny and go home. My feet hurt and I was tired and I just wanted to go to bed. We got home and Penny was washing her face when she goes, “Oh no.” I asked her what was wrong and she said she’d show me in a second. I immedietly knew what was wrong and started cracking up. She managed to get her first hickey in a year and a half from a 24 year old random who break dances, has a US passport, and lays bricks for a living. So unbelievably funny.

The next morning, Coco came over and we exchanged Christmas presents. Penny got me this really pretty gold necklace with a stag on it and a keychain from Harry Potter world. Shahida got me this incredibly pretty leather bound notebook from this boutique in Kensington. They both seemed to like what I got them and Coco was really excited about the cupcake shaped piggy bank I’d gotten her. Coco, Penny, and I then went and got brunch and Penny sent me home to go study. We were supposed to meet Myles for dinner and they ended up coming out to Earl’s Court so I didn’t have to put money on my Oyster card. Shahida stayed in and got pizza with her brother and sister in law. Penny, Myles, and I went to this Japanese restaurant. Myles seemed like he was in a pretty good mood. Dinner went really well. We had a lot of fun and he really liked the hat and socks he got him for Christmas. The socks had super heros and comic strips on them. We couldn’t not buy them for him. The hat was fleece lined and had furry ear flaps. I’ve never seen him as excited about anything as he was about his hat. It was so adorable. The check came and he gave the waitress his card. Penny reached the bill so we could give him cash and he pulled it out of her way with a, “Fuck off. I got it.” It was sweet of him. I like when he’s in a good mood. It’s a nice change. He’s going to come by the flat Wednesday night to give us our presents. He hasn’t had time to shop yet apparently.

I’ve been thinking about where I was in life a year ago and it’s actually kind of funny. When I went home for break last year I spent the whole time talking about T and Ollie and Massimo. Now I’m going to go home and talk about the Greenwich boys (or the Boys O’ Lewisham as we wrote on their Christmas card) and Myles. It’s actually crazy how much has changed in year.

I have four days left and three more finals. I have two tomorrow, the first of which is at 9 AM so I should probably get some sleep. I’m going to need to wake up early and keep studying (or you know start).

[nostalgiaispeace]

244.

do you believe exes think about you? doubt it.

are you currently frustrated with a boy / girl? Nope.

would you ever consider piercing your tongue? no

are you a forgiving person? depends.

do you straighten your hair often? no

what’s your favorite eye color? brown.

what’s your biggest physical turn off for a potential partner? i dunno? feet i guess.

have you ever taken a train? Yes.

describe your first job. it was a sub shop and i got fired through a friend because my boss was too much of a pussy to fire me himself.

are you afraid of the dark? why or why not? no; there’s nothing to be afraid of?

who did you idolize growing up? Emma Watson.

have you ever done something just to feel the danger, or to feel alive? no

have you ever carved your name or initials into a tree or stone? maybe?

where is a great place to get breakfast? i don’t really like breakfast so i dunno

have you ever sold anything online either on craigslist, ebay, amazon, etc.? if not, what is your website of choice like any of the above for buying things? nope; Amazon

if the opportunity arose, would you ever go to a nude beach? do you think you’d be comfortable enough, being naked among others like that?   no; nope.

do you think regifting is cheap, or is it okay? have you ever regifted before?   i mean if you’re not going to use it, why not?

have you ever had to “come out” to your parents about anything (sexual orientation, change in religion, etc.)? how did it go? not really

if you were given the chance to decorate an entire house the way you wanted, with no limit to cost, how would you decorate it? i don’t even know. not really my thing.

describe your favorite picture of yourself, or post it. no.

is there a genre of music that some people would be surprised that you enjoy?   jazz

assuming you have a facebook, if one of your friends posted things that annoyed you, would you be more likely to delete them as a friend, hide their statuses, or just put up with it? hide their stuff.

do you have any online friends? yeah

has your favorite color changed at all from when you were younger? if so, what was your favorite when you were little? yeah; i think it was yellow?

what is your favorite breakfast food? pancakes or french toast i guess

what band/celebrity/etc do you know the most information about? who would you like to learn more about? the harry potter cast probably; lana del rey

have you ever had to go to therapy? for what? yes; PTSD, ED, Anxiety, Depression.

if you got pregnant young, would you get married to the guy who got you pregnant? for guys, if you got a girl pregnant at a young age, would you marry her? i don’t know. i’m old now so

if you got pregnant young, would your parents kick you out of your house? for guys, if you got a girl pregnant young and your parents kicked you out, would you be angry at them? my mom probably wouldn’t have.

do you feel pregnant teens should have to go to an alternate high school? do you think this would benefit them at all, or that it’s just discrimination? maybe? if it has day care or something.

has your school ever done something terrible and wrong to you? what did they do and how did you deal with it? they wanted to send me to some “bad kid” school because my anxiety was so bad i couldn’t go

would your parents let your {possibly hypothetical} boyfriend stay at your house if he got kicked out of his house? that happened so yeah.

have you ever not been allowed to hang out with your neighbor before? was it your parents or their parents that wouldn’t allow you to? no?

who has the ability to hurt you the most emotionally? like everyone.

have you ever been used? probably.

do you take walks often? i walk all day at work.

have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? no

what does your phone do when you get a new message? vibrates.

if you could make your lips bigger, would you? no

does it matter to you if your bf/gf smokes cigs? no

who was last to smack your butt? matt probably.

what’s a book you’ve read that changed your life? Harry Potter

would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? no

have you met the last person you kissed’s parents? already have.

do you like someone? I do.

did the last person who hurt you ever apologize? yeah

are you friends with your best friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend? yeah

are you anything like your siblings? nooo

have you ever lived with a significant other? i do

have you ever seen an emu in real life, whether in captivity or the wild?   i think i have at the zoo.

did you pierce your ears yourself or have it done by a professional? professional.

do you own a lot of cookbooks?   no

do you stay in touch with many people from high school or college? some people from high school

is there a university in your town or city? i think so.

have you ever passed gas in front of your significant other? lol all the time.

do you have any big regrets in your life? yes

do you live on a street, avenue, road etc.? court.

do you listen to guns n roses?   not really.

have you ever been a bridesmaid? yeah

are you friends with all of your exes? yeah

what would you do if the person you have feelings for showed up at your door?   i’d be happy but confused lol

when you are upset, what works best to calm you down?   pills.

have you ever gone camping? yeah

do you think the last person you kissed, has kissed anyone else since the last time they kissed you?   i hope not.

have you ever slept with a member of the opposite sex without having sex?   yeah.

how would you feel if your significant other had tattoos?   i want him to get better ones.

what would you say if someone asked you to get high right now?   "naw”

when’s the next time you will consume alcohol?   dunno.

do you believe that everything happens for a reason? not really.

did you wake up in the middle of the night last night? Nope.

could you do a long distance relationship? probably

do you like your body?   LOL no

do you pour the cereal before the milk or vice versa? Cereal first.

did anyone see your last kiss? dunno

do and your best friend(s) act the same, or are very different from each other?   different,

what’s the largest age difference between yourself and someone you’ve dated?   5 years

did you stand on your tippy-toes for your last kiss? i dunno.

have you ever been told you were hot by a complete stranger? yeah

who are 3 girls you trust most? my mom

are your parents good examples? my mom is i guess.

are you afraid of needles? naw.

would you enjoy a night of playing video games? probably not.

how much does physical attractiveness mean to you in a partner? i mean it’s important.

would you consider donating your body to science after you die? i mean why not? ill be dead so who cares.

do you like soccer?   no

is marriage a necessity for two people who love each other? no

do you have a problem with racist jokes? Yes.

have you ever called your friend a slut? probably have as a joke.

have you ever gone on a blind date? Nope.

have you ever lied about the number of sexual partners you’ve had? Nope.

on a first date do you pay or do they? they’ve paid.

do you only date people who have jobs or are full-time students? i’ve only ever really dated matt and he had a job

should evolution be taught in schools? yes?

is a girl who’s slept with 100 guys a bad person? no

should a child caught masturbating be punished? no? wtf?

when’s the last time you did something you knew was wrong?   dunno

did the one person who hurt you the most in your life apologize? nope

how many kids do you want to have? one.

do you eat breakfast daily? nope

what movie do you really want to see? la la land.

do you drink your cereal milk? no

cds, radio, or phone for music in the car? phone

window or aisle (plane seats)? window i guess.

prankster or not? Not.

tattoos or piercings?   Tattoos.

concert or theme park? Concert.

can you touch your tongue to your nose? no

do you believe in aliens? sure

place that makes me most happy? my bed.

favorite fictional character? Harry Potter

dream wedding? Old Hollywood.

would you rather be naked or wear clothes? Wear clothes.

are you a money saver or spender? save because like i have to

who’s your male x female otp? Leo and Kate

who’s your male x male otp? hmm... not sure

who’s your female x female otp? Margot Robbie and Cara Delevenge

what was the last flavor of ice-cream you had? dunno

do you think you could ever become a vegan? noo

are you one of those people who is constantly glued to their phones? naw

do you drink as much water as you should? yeah

have you ever gone to any ridiculous extremes to lose (or gain) weight? yeah...sure..

do you use hairspray on your hair once you’ve styled it?   yeah

does anyone in your immediate family have any habits that worry you at all? yeah

what do you do when you’re drained of energy but are unable to go to sleep at the time (because you have other things to do)? take pills

do you enjoy helping people move or do you not like it? i don’t like it

have you ever kissed someone that you thought you’d never kiss? yeah

do you enjoy when guys hit on/flirt with you or does it normally make you uncomfortable or annoyed? when was the last time more than one guy was flirting with you at a time? no; i dunno

do you hug people very often or are you not the hugging type? could you list the last ten people you hugged? i’m not really a hugger.

can you name five things you enjoy looking at pictures of? lana del rey, harry potter, bands, books, animals

what genre of music do you listen to the most? metal

do people come to you for advice? Sometimes.

when’s the last time you smiled?   today

what’s the background on your computer? Lana Del Rey

do you have days where you just want to listen to sad songs? i dunno.

where do you go when you need to get away? my room

do you think you will/did you cry at your graduation? i didn’t

would you ever get an eyebrow piercing? yeah

have you ever been to mexico? Nope.

has a book ever made you cry? yeah

is the person you have feelings for at least a bit cute? he’s hot as fuck

your ex says “i’m sorry”, what do you say?   thank you

are you a bitch?   yeag

do you wear a belt with every pair of jeans? no

have you ever deleted facebook friends for a significant other? no?

what accent do you think is the most attractive? English

do you have high standards? i dunno

have you ever watched fight videos for amusement? no

whose wall did you post on last? dunno

do you own a snuggie? no

would you consider getting a tattoo any time soon? i wish.

is there a place you’d rather live right now?   yeah

do you consider yourself a sensitive person? very

what do you think is the best smell in the world? food

do you know anyone personally who is colorblind?   not that i know of

have you ever considered writing a novel? lol no

#me #survey