#psh- that's all I can think of for the time being. Love you all <3 <3

[asahicore]

moonlight - psh (m)

this work contains smut - minors please do not interact pairing. dancer!sunghoon x fem!reader synopsis. In August 1963, your monotonous summer vacation becomes a lot more exciting when you meet a group of dancers that work as the entertainment staff of the resort you and your family are staying at. Your fascination with them, and particularly dancers and close friends Sunghoon and Chaewon, pushes you to help them out by taking Chaewon's place at another hotel's show when she's unable to dance. The week you spend with Sunghoon as he teaches you to dance and the events thereafter give you a lot more than the ability to mambo. genre. dirty dancing au, strangers to lovers, summer au, poor boy x rich girl trope, the Big 3 (fluff angst n smut) word count. 32.2k a/n. it's finally here !!! i've been working on this for a while so i hope you guys will like it, please lmk what u think ur feedback is super important to me !!! if you've seen dirty dancing you'll see that this is like.. a complete copy of the movie lmaooo i'm sorry i didn't wanna stray from the plot cz i love it 2 much <//3 i'll make a posting schedule shortly after this so you guys can see which of my old works i'll be reposting and all that :)) enjoy !! also thanks to @ozymandia-s for betareading this u deserve the world and u made this fic a thousand times better <333 and yep thats a compliment from me to u so u better treasure it fr.

It’s the summer of 1963, everybody calls you Baby, and it hasn’t occurred to you to mind. You’re 18, have plans to change the world, and are sure there isn’t a better man than your father.

After years of being too busy to leave work for over a week, your father has finally retired, and you can all go on a long, well-deserved summer break. Like most people your age, your dream vacation would be to backpack through Europe or Asia, discovering the wonders the world has to offer, meeting people from all walks of life and eating all sorts of foreign delicacies. But your parents wish for something more laid-back, so, on the first Sunday of August, after a six-hour drive, you get out of the car at Kellerman’s, a summer resort that belongs to your father’s old friend. You are to spend the rest of the month here, until the last day of the season.

The resort is truly a sight to behold. Even though it’s only four floors high, the main building is downright massive in terms of how much space it occupies. You can imagine the many rooms it must hold, such as the different restaurants and their respective kitchens, the ballroom and other leisure rooms, the stage for various shows, and some offices and apartments where the highest members of staff reside. Tables are scattered all across the front lawn, mainly older ladies and gentlemen sitting at them, drinking lemonade, playing cards, gossiping. You can make out a golf course and a small pond from afar, as well as the back lawn where you’re told most of the activities take place. Such activities include the outdoor dancing lessons, which your mother and sister Seeun want to get to immediately.

Max, your father’s friend, greets you as soon as you arrive as if he’s been waiting for you. Amused, you watch as they clasp each other’s hand before coming into an embrace, giving three hard but friendly pats to the other’s back. “So glad to finally have you here, Doc,” Max says earnestly. “I promise you, one week here and you’ll feel like you’ve never worked a day in your life, that’s how relaxed you’ll be.” Your father laughs and nods, and you turn your attention away when they start talking about work, and how life’s been, and how your daughters have grown, and other things you don’t care much for. 

You notice that a member of staff has begun to unload your numerous bags from the trunk, about half of which are your sister’s (“See, Mommy, I told you I should’ve brought those coral heels!” you hear her complain), and start helping him out. He turns to you with a smile as you haul a suitcase onto the trolley.

“Hey, thanks a lot! You looking for a job here?” he jokes, making you smile.

“Just wanted to help out, but I’ll let you know. I’m Baby, by the way.”

“Baby? Is that your real name?” he asks with an amused expression and a quizzical tilt to his head.

“No, but it’s what everyone calls me,” you beam back.

“Alright then, Baby. I’m Jake.” He wipes some sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand before extending it to you, and you take it, shaking it enthusiastically. 

Your conversation stops there when your father calls out your name, motioning for you to follow him and your mother and sister. “Come, Baby, let the staff do their work.” You give Jake an apologetic smile and wave him goodbye, but he simply shrugs and turns away, seemingly used to this kind of dismissal from guests.

“See you around, Baby,” you hear him say as you start to walk away.

-

Seeun only gives you a few minutes to settle into your shared room and unpack your suitcase before she practically drags you outside, eager to get to the dance class in time. Your older sister absolutely loves dancing. No matter where or with who, if there’s music, she’ll start moving. 

You, on the other hand, have two left feet, which doesn’t make dancing such a fun activity. You like it, but always feel you look like a fool. As for dancing with a partner, the intimacy that comes with it is too much for you, and isn’t something you particularly want to share with boys you barely know, nevermind complete strangers, like the people at the merengue class your sister is making you rush to. 

It takes place in the gazebo, which is wide enough to host about thirty guests and the instructor, who introduces herself as Chaewon. You try to follow her “1, 2, 1, 2” as best you can but it’s hard to focus on the rhythm when you have to avoid being stepped on by the lady to your left and stepping on the man to your right. Everything around you is turned upside down when she cheerfully calls out, “Let’s get into a circle! Gents on the outside, ladies on the inside! C’mon now!”

You manage to make your way into the inner circle, holding onto the hips of the woman in front of you, and finally start to sway to the rhythm a bit more. “Come on ladies! God wouldn’t have given you this body if he didn’t want you to shake it!” Chaewon shouts enthusiastically, emphasizing on the “shake” with a movement of her own.

“On the count of three,” she calls out, “ladies, you’ll turn around, and meet the man of your dreams! 1, 2, 3!”

You find yourself face to face with a grandma that had ended up in the gents’ circle and force on your best smile as you dance with her. She looks delighted, but that expression might just be stuck on her face permanently.

The class comes to an end and the afternoon with it, and you leave the bungalow while everyone gets ready for dinner, yelling out that you’re going to look around as you close the door behind you. It’s the early evening and the sun has just started to set, but not enough for the gentle breeze to be too cold. The small, round bushes and colorful flowers that line the pebbled path from the bungalows to the main building have been expertly tended to; there isn’t a stray weed, nor branch that hasn’t been cut properly nor a wilting plant. It’s all so perfect, it almost looks fake. Yet, when you bend down to feel a petal, it’s soft under your fingertips and very much real.

You walk on the porch that surrounds the main building until you reach the outside entrance to the restaurant. Max’s booming voice catches your attention and you’re able to peek through the ajar door, making sure you can’t be seen from where you stand. Your father’s friend sits at a table while the waiters stand in a half-circle in front of him, hands locked behind them and heads slightly bowed.

“Tonight’s the start of the second half of the season, so I’ll use this opportunity to set a little reminder. You’re here because I chose you lot from the most prestigious schools in the country and you need some financial help, correct?” He doesn’t wait for an answer. “So do your job, and do it well. And if you want extra compensation, the gents here may be very generous if you show their daughters a good time and keep their wives happy. But no funny business, you keep your hands off. Got it?”

A quiet flurry of yeses is heard throughout the room just as a group of young people stride in, the sight of them piquing your interest. They’re wearing much more fitted and fashionable clothes compared to the waiters’ simple white vests and trousers, and carry themselves with a confidence you’ve only seen in celebrities and important people. The man that leads them particularly catches your attention: slicked-back hair, useless sunglasses now that the sun has set, all-black clothes, too much leather for the summer weather and the prettiest face you think you’ve ever seen to top it all off. He looks like an off-duty movie star.

“You hear that, boys? No funny business,” he says with a smirk to the group behind him, and they chuckle in response, eyeing the waiters up and down. They work at the same establishment, but they seem to be from two totally different worlds, you notice.

“I think you’re the one who should keep that in mind,” one of the waiters says just as the group passes by him, just loud enough for the other guy to hear. He reacts immediately to the taunt, spinning around and pointing a threatening finger to the waiter’s chest. 

“And I think you should heed your own advice, you jackass,” he spits, unfiltered venom in his voice. The waiter only smirks condescendingly, as if proud his remark had struck a nerve.

“Alright, alright, calm down, Sunghoon, and lay off of Heeseung. You’re booked and busy this week, and your whole entertainment team has work to do, okay?” Max says, tone stern as if telling a child off.

Sunghoon takes a step back but doesn’t look away from Heeseung as he scoffs a simple whatever. He then pivots back around and leads his team out of the room. You decide you’ve seen enough and turn around yourself, heading back to your family’s bungalow with quick steps.

Barely half an hour later, you’re back at the restaurant. The tables have all been set, the candles have been lit, a band is playing soft jazz in the corner, and the waiters are taking care of the guests’ orders and keeping them content. You’ve just sat down when Max himself approaches, introducing your waiter for tonight to your table. You try not to let your astonishment show when you instantly recognise him as the one who had had that scuff with Sunghoon earlier.

“Doc, this is Heeseung Lee, and he’ll take care of you tonight,” he addresses your father, a paternal hand around Heeseung’s shoulder. “He’s a third year med student at Harvard and has been working here every summer for the past three years. A very reliable and hardworking young man.” You feel like you’re being sold a car, but your father just smiles and nods approvingly at Heeseung.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Heeseung,” your father greets, holding out a hand for the young man to shake.

“The pleasure’s all mine, Doctor,” Heeseung responds, a most dazzling smile on his lips. If you hadn’t seen him earlier, you wouldn’t believe that this smile could turn snarky and patronizing.

“This is my wife, our eldest Seeun and our youngest Y/N, but we all call her Baby. She’s going to change the world,” your father introduces, beaming proudly at you.

“Yeah, and Seeun’s going to decorate it,” you say, turning to your sister. A bit unprovoked, perhaps, but this is just the way you and your sister have always been. You smile and tilt your head innocently as she glares at you.

“I think she already does,” Heeseung says, your eyebrow raising up in surprise as your sister looks down at her hands, the sudden compliment making her blush.

“Alright, Heeseung, go get these folks our best champagne. On the house!” Max exclaims, beaming at your parents.

“Yes, sir,” Heeseung says, bowing his head slightly to Max and your table before shooting your sister a smile and walking off. 

“Oh, and here’s someone else I want to introduce to you - Jay, come here! That’s my grandson Jay. Yale Business School,” Max says emphatically. Jay approaches your table quickly, a somewhat self-assured yet awkward smile on his face. He greets your parents and sister with a nod of his head until his eyes settle on you. “This is Baby, I was telling you about her earlier. She’s going to study at Yale too, and her dad says she’ll change the world!”

Jay’s lips form a pout, the kind of pout one makes when watching kittens play or a child running to his mother, as if he finds your ambitions endearing. Used to this kind of reaction from men, you raise your eyebrows and a small smile spreads on your face as if to say, “yep, that’s me.”

“How nice, Baby. But before you go off and do that, how about you save me a dance? Tomorrow night at the ball?” he offers, and the urge to kick him in the balls is hard to resist, but resist you must.

“Of course she will!” your father answers for you, and you have no choice but to put on your best fake smile, but none of the three men seem to see through it. If your mother and sister notice how annoyed you are, they don’t say anything. Knowing them, they probably think you’re being unreasonable if you’re not already throwing yourself at such an obviously intelligent and respectable young man.

That’s how you find yourself the next day, hands stiffly clasped behind Jay’s neck and his own on the sides of your waist, dancing with him to a slow-paced but lighthearted live song, although dancing might be an overstatement as it’s impossible to find a proper rhythm with someone as clumsy as him. You never thought you’d meet a worse dancer than you, but here you were. You have to keep yourself from snorting everytime he winces or tuts when you “accidentally” step on his foot, and you make sure to leave ample room between the two of you for the Holy Spirit.

Most of the dance is spent in awkward silence, probably due to the fact that Jay’s gaze, one that is perhaps meant to be seductive but only comes off as creepy, seems to linger on you for too long and too many times. When a pair of kids spins right by you, looking far more talented and serious in their dancing than the two of you, Jay seems to think he needs to step up his game and tightens his grip on your waist. Although you try to disguise it as best you can, the action makes you look up at him in alarm, and you have to stop yourself from visibly flinching when he bends down to say something in your ear although the music isn’t that loud.

“So, Yale, huh? What are you going to study? Design?”

“Um, Environmental Studies and Politics, actually. I’m particularly interested in how underdeveloped countries work and how we can change things there for the better, rather than making things worse,” you correct him, slightly raising your voice so he can hear you from where you’re standing. 

Jay is visibly taken aback by your detailed response, and all he can do is nod. “Right, right, that’s-”

To no one’s disappointment, you never find out what Jay was going to say next because right then, the music suddenly picks up and one of the musicians announces “Sunghoon and Chaewon of the Entertainment Team for a mambo demonstration” into his mic. Your ears perk up at the sound of those two vaguely familiar names, and you quickly recognise Sunghoon as the leather-clad man from earlier and Chaewon as the merengue class instructor from yesterday. He’s now wearing a black suit jacket and matching trousers with a tight white button-up, the clothes fitting him perfectly and making the muscles underneath them appear when the light hits him just right. On her is one of the most beautiful dresses you’ve ever seen, the red fringed fabric draping over her body like it was created for her, her toned upper back and arms on display.

The crowd of guests quickly forms a circle around the couple, giving them enough space to put on their show, and everyone, including you, is immediately enthralled by their performance. You’re mesmerized by how elegant and energetic at once their dance is, the smiles on their faces unfaltering and their legs and arms forming perfect lines at all times. Their posture is proud and their gazes are always fixed on each other even as they spin around, somehow never getting dizzy. They move in perfect synchronization as one entity rather than two separate people simply dancing together, and even though it is probably due to an impressive amount of practice, you can’t help but find that their chemistry is what makes them so fascinating. When he lifts her into the air, it’s with so little effort that she looks like she weighs no more than a feather. There is not a step out of place, and you’re reminded of those impeccable bushes and flowers from the day before. It makes you wonder how it is possible for two people to look so perfect together, and if that perfection is only superficial or not.

“Who are they?” you ask Jay, your curiosity about them greater than your aversion to talking to him.

From the corner of your eye, you see him looking surprised by your question before he leans in and answers. “Sunghoon Park and Chaewon Kim. They’re part of the dance people. Here to keep the guests happy and entertained.” He sighs, crossing his arms over his chest and tilting his head in discontentment. “They shouldn’t be showing off with each other like that, it won’t sell lessons. I’ll need to have a talk with them later.”

You barely register Jay’s words after he’s answered your question, your attention focused back on the dancers in front of you. On the other side of the room, you spot Max frowning at them and marching towards them. As soon as Sunghoon and Chaewon notice him, he waves them off and they separate, choosing a guest as their new partner to dance with, which you assume is their way of doing a taster session.

Jay drags you off to sit at a table and for the better part of an hour, you let him bore your ears off as he tells you either things he can’t fathom you’d already know even though you do, or things you couldn’t care any less about. It’s such a shame that a man with that handsome a face and that charming a smile would have the stalest of personalities, yet deem himself the most interesting man to walk the Earth. You nod and hum when you’re supposed to, and that’s all he needs to think you’re listening intently, when really you can’t stop thinking about the dancers you just saw, and even steal glances at them still dancing with some guests mere meters away from you. All you want to do is get up and get Sunghoon’s, or even Chaewon’s attention so they could show you how to move like them - just touching their shoulder or waist would be thrilling. But when you catch your mother’s eye a few tables away and she beams at you, two thumbs up in the air, you know you need to stay planted in your chair.

Thankfully, the amount of guests in the room starts to dwindle, and you use this dip in the evening to run off, telling Jay it’s getting late and you need to get back to your bungalow. You don’t let him try to convince you to stay back, and grab your purse, excitedly waving goodbye at him. He’s probably confused, but you’re too giddy at the prospect of finally leaving to care. 

You were on your way to the bungalow, you really were - but just as you reach it, light from a tall lodge about five hundred meters away catches your attention, and you’re too curious about the building you hadn’t noticed before not to investigate. So you continue walking up the small hill where all the guest lodgings rest until you find yourself before a sign that reads “STAFF QUARTERS - GUESTS KEEP OUT,” which you promptly decide to ignore.

In just a minute, a wooden bridge reveals itself, enabling you to cross over the current that separates you from the other bank, where the lodge stands. If you looked to your right, you could’ve made out some more, smaller and dingier-looking bungalows than the guests’ that hosted the staff behind all those trees, but you run into a familiar face before you can take notice of them.

“Hey! I recognize you. Baby, right?”

“Yeah, and you’re Jake!” you beam, surprised not only by seeing him again here, but by the three huge watermelons he carries in his arms like oversized newborn triplets. 

“Yeah…” he trails, squinting his eyes at you, his enthusiasm turning into suspicion. “You can’t be here. Max would kill me. Go back to the dance, Baby.” He can only take a few steps forward before you grab a watermelon from his unsteady hold, putting your most convincing smile on.

“I’ll help you carry these!” you state rather than offer, and march forwards across the bridge. Behind you, Jake sighs and shakes his head, then rushes to stop you in your tracks.

“Didn’t you read the sign? This area is staff only, you can’t be here,” he repeats, punctuating his words. He stays unwavering even at the receiving end of your very menacing glare, so you simply huff and stack the watermelon back on top of the other two and turn away. It takes him approximately two seconds to change his mind. “Can you keep a secret?”

Jake doesn’t prepare you for what you’re about to see when you enter the staff common lodge, but you don’t think anything could. The smell of a room full of people sweating and moving about hits you instantly, the heat it creates hanging heavy in the air. The breeze coming in through the open windows is practically useless in bringing the temperature down, but you aren’t curious to find out what it’d be like with the windows closed.

The music, a genre your father always bristles at when he hears it on the radio, is now blasting in your ears rather than whistling through the wind, and it takes you a few moments to adjust to the volume and intensity of the bass and drums bouncing off the walls of the room. The guitar sound is sensual and almost yearning, the singer longs for his lover, and the tempo is just fast enough for the dancers to find a swaying rhythm.

As if the lyrics themselves aren’t enough to make you blush, the way the staff dances makes you feel like you’re intruding on something. You try to look away as a couple thrusts their hips into each other’s, only to find another lowering themselves to the group until they’re crouching then slowly rising again, using each other as support the whole time. Skirts bunched up around hips, shirts almost fully unbuttoned or even discarded, hands grabbing onto the partner’s clothes or bare skin - you’ve never seen anyone dance that way. Far from the choreographed performances you’re used to, here, they’re simply letting their bodies move to the music without any second thoughts or a care in the world. You hadn’t even known this could be considered dancing, but surely, when your body molds itself this perfectly to the melody and your partner’s hands, then you can only be dancing. 

Watermelon in arms, you follow Jake as he snakes his way to the back of the room through sweaty bodies holding each other close. You recognise a few people here and there as the entertainment staff who host activities, teach dance classes or help guests find their way around. They peer back at you, expressions either confused or disdainful - you aren’t sure whether that’s because they don’t know who you are, or because they do and don’t like seeing you there. Even if they don’t know that you’re Baby, your dress at least is a dead giveaway of your being a guest. Your mom had picked it out for you - a white sleeveless summer dress that reaches almost to your knees and cinches in at the waist before flowing out over your hips. And no cleavage, of course. Along with your impeccably curled and styled hair, your prim and proper attire is a far cry from the short skirts, tight t-shirts and denim that the staff wears, revealing sunkissed skin and toned muscles. And if all of that still isn’t enough to tell you apart, then your wide eyes like a kid seeing fireworks for the first time should do it.

You finally reach the back of the room and set your watermelon on a bar counter. Jake rests his hands on his hips and watches the dancers, a smile on his face, the kind of smile you wear when you can never get enough of a sight even though you witness it everyday. You watch them too, but you must look a mix of fascinated and terrified - sure, they all look terrific, but if your dad caught you here, you’d be dead.

“Where’d they learn to do that?” you lean in to ask Jake as the next song starts playing, your gaze not leaving the dancers who adjust easily to the more upbeat tempo.

He looks at you, stunned. “Don’t you know? This is how the kids dance these days. This is what American basements look like on Friday nights.” His surprise turns into amusement and he steps in front of you, one hand extended for you to take and a mischievous look on his face. “Wanna try?”

Your eyes immediately double in size and you shake your hands in front of you, but he grabs one of them anyway and starts leading you back into the middle of the room. You’re saved by the doors suddenly bursting open, catching everyone’s attention. In run Sunghoon and Chaewon, wearing the same clothes from earlier, although Sunghoon has ditched the suit jacket and popped the top buttons of his shirt open. Your stomach flips at the sight of his flushed cheeks and hair slick with sweat.

Jake chuckles when he sees how transfixed you are by the two of them, dancing so differently from earlier, their moves far more sexual, hands not so polite anymore, completely free to do whatever they wish. Rather than a smile, Sunghoon wears a small frown and bites his bottom lip, deepening his dimples, and it all seems to make each of his moves that much harsher. The sheer sex appeal that he exudes is absolutely undeniable, and it makes you feel things you’ve never felt before - things you’re not quite unsure how to name. You let out a small gasp as Chaewon jumps and hooks her legs around his hips effortlessly, then as she leans her upper body back until her head almost touches the ground. Sunghoon’s hands are tight around her waist and his biceps apparent under the thin fabric of his dress shirt. You realize how strong Sunghoon must be when he carries her all the way to his shoulders, letting her rest her knees there as she plays with her skirt and swings her head from side to side. You’ve never seen anyone look so good while having so much fun.

“They look great together,” you blurt out without thinking.

“Don’t they?” Jake says, looking out at them with a fond smile. “You’d think they were a couple.”

This makes your head pivot towards Jake. “Well, aren’t they?”

“Not since we were kids, no. They’ve just been dancing together for so long that they’ve developed this- this chemistry and understanding of each other, I guess.” 

“Do you know them well?”

“Sunghoon’s my best friend from home. He met Chaewon when he started working here when we were 16, and then he got me this job when we were 17. The three of us are 22 now.” He meets your gaze and his smile grows wider. “Why, you interested?”

The sudden question (and the very obvious, very embarrassing answer) takes you aback and you stammer out a few nonsensical syllables before frowning at him. Your reaction just seems to amuse him. “No, I’m not. Just asking,” you manage to say.

He looks back at them, and you follow his gaze. “Well, good, cause we’re not allowed to get involved with the guests anyway. Which is why you shouldn’t be here in the first place.”

Just then, the song ends and Sunghoon and Chaewon laugh before they separate, finding another partner to dance with. As Chaewon heads towards someone else, Sunghoon catches your stare and walks to where you and Jake stand, eyes fixed on your face. You feel small under his gaze, but you will your knees not to buckle underneath you, although that’s hard to do when his eyes sweep your figure, giving you a once-over.

“What’s she doing here?” he questions Jake without looking away from you.

“That’s Baby, she came with me,” Jake says, not really answering the question.

“I carried a watermelon,” you blurt, not really answering the question either, but that seems to satisfy Sunghoon. His eyebrows raise slightly before he heads back to the dancefloor and starts dancing again. You release a breath you hadn’t known you were holding, but another one catches right in your throat when, after barely thirty seconds, he pivots back around as if there was still something he was curious about. His eyes stay focused on you, unreadable.

And then, he bows his head slightly, looks up at you through his eyebrows, raises his hand, and beckons you to him with his index finger. As if spellbound, your feet move on their own until you find yourself in front of him, his hands reaching immediately for your hips and holding on tight there. All the nerves in your body are on edge and your heartbeat speeds up, almost matching the fast tempo of the song resonating throughout the room. Simply remembering to breathe becomes an arduous task. Jake’s voice is a faint sound as he says, “So you go dance with him, but not me?”

This kind of dancing is completely unfamiliar to you, so you have no idea what to do. Thankfully, Sunghoon doesn’t seem to expect anything else, and he knows how to guide you so that you get the gist of it. “Keep your eyes on me,” he commands quietly, gesturing with two fingers for your gaze to stay on his. “And move your hips in a circle, just like that,” he adds, executing the move for you to mirror. “Just relax, you’re too stiff. Relax your arms. Put them around my shoulders.” His hands brush down from your shoulders to your wrists, sending a trail of fire all along your arms, grabbing them and resting them on his shoulders himself before settling back on your waist. His arm snakes its way around it, bringing you closer to him. You aren’t sure what’s more electrifying, his gaze or his touch.

You start to focus on the music and on getting your body to move along to it, and it feels like a miracle when your hips, firmly pressed against his own, sway side-to-side in rhythm. Remembering what you saw earlier, you lean back slightly, hips still moving in small circles, trusting him to keep you from falling. You lean back as far as you can, and something about it is so liberating, you feel the adrenaline rushing through your body as if it’s the only thing keeping you alive. When you come back up, your palms are flat against his chest and he looks at you with a proud but surprised smirk that lits your insides up. “Just like that,” he whispers, but his face is close enough for you to hear him over the music.

He spins you around a few times, and as quickly as he appeared, he’s already gone, having weaved his way through the crowd back towards Jake. It takes you a few seconds to register his absence, but when it does, it’s like all the warmth he filled you with is gone; you’re left only with the heavy heat weighing the room down and you with it, when you’d felt light like air not a moment ago.

Before you can decide on what to do next, someone taps your shoulder, and you turn around to find Heeseung frowning down at you. In the fraction of a second, you can tell this is the snarky Heeseung that you’d seen when you were snooping around the day before rather than the polite Heeseung that had waited your table that night.

“Baby, right? I don’t know what you’re doing here, but your sister and parents are looking all over for you. If I were you, I’d go now, and quick.”

Alarm shoots through you as you realize you’d been here for twenty minutes at least, the sort of absence that wouldn’t go unnoticed by your family this late at night. You thank him rapidly and practically run towards the door before risking a look back at Jake and Sunghoon, still standing in the corner of the room. Jake looks worried, so you send him a thumbs up, but Sunghoon simply peers at you, sipping on a beer as his back rests against the wall, that same unreadable look from before back on his face. You don’t linger to figure it out and rush to your bungalow, coming up with an excuse that you got lost on your way back for your parents to believe. Because their Baby would never do anything she isn’t supposed to, right?

That night, as you toss and turn in bed, trying to fall asleep, your mind wanders off to those warm, big hands firmly planted on your waist, and how they had guided your body until it moved on its own accord, until it let itself go and only followed the rhythm. How far can you go until your body no longer belongs to you but rather to the music, or to the person holding you close, you wonder? And if that happened, would you, for a moment at least, no matter how fleeting, be freed of all your worries for your future and of all the pressure on your shoulders?

Your feet already ache - from dancing or from wanting to dance some more, you can’t quite tell.

-

Every year when August comes, it takes you by surprise how early the sun sets. Just as you’d gotten used to the sky still being fairly light by 10 p.m., it was already getting dark at nine. This is what you think about a few nights later as you look out at the dark sky, the bright full moon and the hundreds of stars lighting it up. You’re standing next to the gazebo with your parents as you watch other guests dancing about; clearly, since you’re thinking about the state of the sky and the sun in the summer, you’re very entertained. Your sister has managed to become friends with some of the other guests’ kids, as well as some of the staff, and has even formed a budding romance with Heeseung, which your parents have made it obvious they approve of. This means that she is excused of any activities she might not want to partake in, while you have to follow your parents everywhere.

Your gaze follows Sunghoon as he dances with an older woman, guiding her through the dance and teaching her a few steps. You can’t help but frown slightly at his forced smile when she lets her hands wander a bit too far down his back, and you wonder why he doesn’t say anything when he looks so obviously uncomfortable.

“You see that woman over there?” you hear Max ask your father as he motions to the lady dancing with Sunghoon. “Vivian Kim. We call women like her bungalow bunnies. Their husbands work all week and only come back on weekends. That dancer Park Sunghoon is pretty popular with them, if you know what I mean,” he comments with a dark chuckle. “But I gotta pretend like I don’t know any better, otherwise the wives are unhappy. And if the wives are unhappy, so are the husbands, and then I lose money.”

You daze out of the conversation when you see Jay approaching, his steps quick and headed directly towards Sunghoon. “Where’s Chaewon?” he questions impatiently, taking no notice of Vivian, who seems to take no notice of him either and continues swaying her hips to the music.

“What do you mean where’s Chaewon? She’s on a break, Chaewon needs a break,” Sunghoon bites back, tone just as harsh as Jay’s. That seems to shut Jay up, and he just squints at him before turning his head to where you’re standing. His whole demeanor changes instantly as he walks towards you, that smile one would reserve for children that he always looks at you with.

“Hey Baby, wanna go on a walk?” he asks, but with the intent way your parents, Max and Jay himself are peering down at you, you know you don’t have much of a choice.

You put on your best forced smile and take his extended hand. “Sure, Jay.”

He takes you to a small wooden bridge that overpasses a small but feisty current. The walk there is fairly silent, which you’re thankful for, because it’s easier to pretend Jay isn’t here when he’s not talking, but the fantasy is shattered everytime he sighs and hums contentedly. It’s like he thinks spending five minutes without talking will make the world implode, and he has to make some kind of noise to keep the balance.

When you reach the bridge, you lean back against the rail, and he leans on his side, apparently so he can look at you better. “I love to watch your hair blow in the breeze,” he says after a few moments, and it takes everything in you to keep your laughter in at the sudden romanticism.

“You know, not to brag,” he starts, and you know he’s about to say the most pretentious thing you’ve ever heard, “but around here, I’m known as the catch of the county.” He’s smiling, but you know he’s being fully serious. “I mean, it makes sense, doesn’t it? I’m handsome, parents love me, and I go to the best school in the country. People ask me, ‘well, what’s the difference between you and any other guy at Yale,’ and I say, ‘five hotels and a million-dollar inheritance!’” He bursts laughing like he’s just made the funniest joke ever, although you’re not sure where the joke is. You chuckle awkwardly and nod, remembering your mother’s advice - when in doubt, just nod. You’re not particularly in doubt, but you’re also not sure how to respond to such ostentatious self-praise.

To your great despair, Jay is about to open his mouth again, but a voice coming from the exit of the forest near you stops him in his tracks. “Heeseung, please, you have to help me with this-,” the voice says, and you recognize it quickly as Chaewon’s.

“I told you, it’s none of my damn business.”

“But it is! Please!” she shouts back. He walks ahead of her and she tries to catch up to him, and just like that, they’re already gone without having noticed you or Jay.

A hand placed delicately on your shoulder snaps you from your thoughts. You turn to Jay who has a sad look in his eyes and who sighs as if pained to say what he has to say next. “You know, Baby, sometimes, in this world, you’ll see things you don’t want to see. And sometimes, you can’t do anything about them. It’s all part of growing up,” he finishes, his tone self-important like he’s just taught you a world of knowledge. 

“You hungry?” he suddenly adds, all cheery. “C’mon, eating something might take your mind off of this. We can go to the kitchens and get you anything you’d like.”

He indeed takes you to the restaurant kitchens, completely empty due to the late hour. He opens up a fridge, and even though he basically does, the way he acts like he owns the place makes you wince. “So, what have we here? Some smoked salmon canapés, some ham sandwiches… ooh, brownies! What else…” he trails off, but your attention has been caught by something else. 

You can hear someone snuffling somewhere in the room, and when you lean to the side to peer behind the wall, you can make out a female figure crouched down in the dark. She’s trembling from head-to-toe, and when she lifts her head to look at you, you recognize her as Chaewon. You’ve never seen anyone looking so scared.

Thinking quickly, you grab Jay by the shoulders, smiling at him as you say, “You know what, I don’t think I’m actually that hungry, let’s just head back to the gazebo, yeah?”

For once, you’re the one who doesn’t let him answer your question and you speed out of the kitchens and back to the gazebo. You find Jake immediately, rushing to him to tell him what you saw, and he in turn rushes to Sunghoon, who apologizes and drops his dancing partner’s hand as soon as he hears what’s going on. Ignoring Jay’s confused look, you run with them back to the kitchens, from which Chaewon hasn’t moved an inch.

Sunghoon sits next to her, taking her in his arms and helping her up. “It’s okay, you’re okay, I’m here now. Everything’s fine. Let’s get you back to my room, okay? It’ll be quiet there,” he coos, getting her snuffles to calm down and her breath to steady itself.

Since none of them tell you to go back, you follow along, Chaewon in Sunghoon’s arms in front and you and Jake not too far behind. “What’s wrong with her?” you ask Jake quietly.

“She’s pregnant.”

“Jake!” Sunghoon calls out indignantly, sending him a look as if to warn him.

“What? It’s not like she’d tell anyone.”

“Still, it’s none of her business,” Sunghoon replies, glancing briefly at you.

“And what’s he gonna do about it?” you can’t help but ask. This makes Sunghoon pivot on his heel and Chaewon frowns at the sudden movement.

“‘What’s he gonna do about it?’” he repeats, venom in his voice. “Oh of course, cause it’s my baby. Of course you’d assume that,” he practically spits at you. You try to stutter out a response, but nothing comes up. How could you not assume that, when you’ve only seen him taking care of her like she’s his responsibility?

You thought all staff lived in small bungalows, but the place you reach is more like a one-person studio. Sunghoon sits Chaewon down on a couch, covers her shoulders with a blanket and brings her a tall glass of water.

“So, whose is it then?” you ask again, eyes darting back and forth between the three figures that stare back at you. Sunghoon starts towards you, an accusing finger out, but Chaewon stops him.

“It’s fine, Sunghoon.” She sighs then lifts her gaze to look at you. Her eyes seem drained, like her tears took everything out of her. “It’s Heeseung’s,” she answers plainly, and you think your eyes bulge out of your face. What you’d witnessed earlier starts to make more sense in your head.

Next to you, Jake looks like he’ll explode if he has to keep in the words he wants to say any longer. “That bastard Heeseung. She needs money to get an operation, and she needs it soon, but he doesn’t give a shit,” Jake spits.

“But, Heeseung, he’s got money, I’m sure if you just ask him, he’ll-”

“Baby? Is that your name?” Chaewon asks softly, interrupting you. “Well, you don’t know shit about my problems, Baby,” she continues, her tone doing a 180. “You don’t think I’ve asked him? You don’t think he knows?”

“But-”

“Go back to your playpen, Baby,” she dismisses you, a finality to her tone. Sunghoon just glares at you while Jake shrugs, so you decide there’s nothing you can do than leave, and head back to your bungalow, heart heavy, but determined to help Chaewon out. There has to be something you can do, you just know it.

-

The next day, you pretend to help Heeseung set the tables for the lunch service to have a talk with him. You waste no time starting your interrogation, not even greeting him before diving straight into it.

“I know about Chaewon, Heeseung. You need to help her out,” you say sternly, using a random water pitcher you’d found at the entrance to fill up crystal glasses.

“Well hello to you too, Baby,” he says with a sarcastically sweet tone. His fake smile drops when he sees you won’t play into his game. “I don’t need to do anything,” he scoffs. “Not like it’s any of your business anyway.”

“Haven’t you seen her? You can’t leave her alone in a time like this, she needs your help. Even if it’s mostly financial help. It’s the least you can do.”

“Girls like her, they get into trouble all the time, okay? Hey, watch what you’re doing!” he whisper-yells when water spills over one of the glasses, not wanting to rouse the suspicion of any of the diners around.

“Yeah, because of guys like you,” you bite back, but he ignores you.

“She was bound to get knocked up at some point, going around like that.” You follow as he moves on the next table. 

“So you’re not going to do anything? Just put her in a bad situation and then run away?”

He finally turns to face you, looking at you like he’s exasperated, like you’re the bad guy here. “That girl’s not my problem, okay? She brought this upon herself.”

You take a step closer to him, a fakely sweet smile plastered on your lips. “You’re a jerk, Heeseung. You stay away from me, stay away from my sister, or I’ll have you fired.” You then raise the jug of water up to his chest, and keep that same smile as you pour it on him before marching away, ignoring the gasps that echo all around the room and Heeseung as he yells at you to come back.

-

Your mom is struggling to get the ball in when you find your parents on one of the many golf courses. Your dad smiles as he sees you nearing them, asking you if everything’s alright.

“Daddy.”

“Baby?” he answers, looking amused by your seriousness.

“You know how you say I should always do my best to help out others when they need it?”

“Of course.”

“Well, I’ve got friends who need some help.”

“What kind of help?” he asks, slightly frowning as he realizes you’re not being serious for no reason.

You take a big breath in. “Money.” You don’t like asking your dad for money, but it’s the only solution you’ve come up with.

“And just how much money?”

“Three hundred dollars?” you say, your sentence coming out like a question as you slightly wince in apprehension.

Your father sighs. “That’s a serious amount of money, Baby. This isn’t anything illegal, is it?” he adds after a beat, taking you aback. Is this illegal? If it is, your father doesn’t need to know it.

“No, no, of course not, Daddy,” you say, trying your best at a reassuring smile. It seems to work, because his expression softens and he smiles back.

“Of course not,” he repeats, “I should know that.” He takes you in his arms. “I’ll have the money ready for you tonight.” You hug him back, thanking him before skipping away to whatever activity you might find to distract yourself before the evening.

-

After dinner, when your dad’s given you an envelope filled with cash, you throw a quick excuse your parents’ way before rushing to the staff quarters, making sure no one sees you on your way there. The music emanating from the common room makes you hopeful you’ll find the people you’re looking for.

And indeed, you do - Sunghoon and Chaewon are holding each other close, her head resting on his chest, and swaying together to the slow and sensual rhythm of the music at the back of the room when you find them. You feel a ping of something uncomfortable in your heart but ignore it and head straight towards them. Chaewon turns around when you tap on her shoulder, her and Sunghoon both looking at you with unmasked animosity, but you just smile as you hand her the envelope. Jake notices you and walks over to stand next to his cousin.

“Here you go. I hope it’s enough,” you say, relieved to see her surprised but ecstatic expression when she opens the envelope and sees all the bills in there. Jake wears a similar expression but Sunghoon just leers down at you.

“Oh my God, Baby, this is amazing,” Chaewon exclaims in disbelief. “How did you get Heeseung to change his mind?”

You purse your lips. “It wasn’t Heeseung…”

She frowns slightly but her eyes widen at the realization that if it isn’t from Heeseung, it has to be from you. “Oh, Baby, thank you so much,” she murmurs.

“Yeah, takes a real saint to ask daddy,” Sunghoon says sarcastically. Chaewon’s head snaps towards you and she starts to shake her head, forcing the envelope back into your hands.

“I can’t accept it, then.”

“Why not?” you, Sunghoon and Jake blurt at the same time.

“Who cares where it comes from? You need the money,” Sunghoon says, trying to persuade her, but she just continues to shake her head.

“It doesn’t feel right. And I can’t go to the appointment anyway,” she chuckles defeatedly, and Sunghoon looks at Jake in confusion.

“I can only get her an appointment next Thursday, when you guys have your act at the Sheldrake,” he explains guiltily, as if it’s his fault.

“For fuck’s sake,” Sunghoon breathes out, looking up to the ceiling in despair, hands on his hips.

“Can’t you miss just that one night?” you ask innocently, but apparently it is the stupidest question on earth, judging from the harsh glare Sunghoon fixes you with.

“No, we can’t miss just that one night. This is our job, and if we cancel the Sheldrake, not only do we lose this summer’s salary, but also next summer’s gig. Our livelihoods depend on this,” he hisses.

“So… can’t someone fill in?” you ask again, and wince when he raises his tone.

“No, Little Miss Fix-It, someone can’t fill in. Everybody works here, unlike you. Unless you wanna do it,” he adds after a pause, chuckling sarcastically, “take some time off of Simon Says?”

You can only glare back at him, even though you couldn’t look as condescending as him if you tried. You’re just trying to help them out and find solutions, no need to be so rude about it. Jake looks back and forth between the two of you, a look on his face like he’s thinking things over.

“You know, maybe she could do it. You weren’t so bad last time, were you, Baby?” he says, eyebrows raised at you as he waits for your answer, a hopeful look on his face that makes you feel bad for letting him down.

You shake your head fervently - learning a complicated choreography and performing it in front of an audience is unthinkable to you. “No, no, I can’t even do the merengue.”

“C’mon!” he insists.

“You heard her, Jake, she can’t even do the merengue,” he repeats, adding venom to the words.

Chaewon doesn’t seem to think this is such a bad idea either. “But Sunghoon, you could teach anyone to dance, you’re an amazing leader,” she says eagerly, but Sunghoon just rolls his eyes and sighs.

“The act is in a week, even if I was the best teacher in the world, she couldn’t learn the whole routine in that time. It’s a lost cause,” he sneers, his gaze fixated harshly on you. You’re not sure whether the lost cause refers to the situation or to you.

You squint your eyes at him, trying to match his gaze. It’s one thing that you think it’s a bad idea, but it’s a whole other thing now that he’s so against it. Jake’s right - you weren’t that bad last week, you’re sure you could be an okay replacement. Sunghoon raises an eyebrow at you as if in challenge.

Challenge accepted, you think.

-

“Now it’s one, two, three, four,” Sunghoon says, synchronizing each number to the beat of the music. “You don’t dance ‘til the two.” This is probably the fifth time he tells you this in the past half-hour, and although you know what you’re meant to do, your body will simply not listen to your head.

You’re in the dance studio, trying as hard as you can to get your body to shape itself into what Sunghoon wants it to be. Arms up at shoulder-level, core engaged, back straight, head proud. He may repeat those directions over and over again, you aren’t used to holding yourself like that, and it’s a lot harder than it seems, even though he makes it look so natural.

He moves the tonearm of the record player so that the music starts from the beginning again and walks towards you, his stern gaze never leaving your eyes as if to say, “you better not mess it up this time.” It makes the room feel a lot hotter than it actually is, and the strong summer heat coming in from the open windows doesn’t help.

You can’t help but wonder if Sunghoon is this impatient with all of his students - surely he’d be out of a job if he actually behaved like this with the fancy ladies of the resort, so he must have some kind of problem with you. It wouldn’t take a genius to figure out that he isn’t the fondest of you, anyway. The fact that you’re only doing this to help him out and not for your own pleasure seems lost on him, but you’d rather not aggravate the situation by pointing that out.

His hands firmly holding yours, his gaze still fixed on your face, you hear your cue approaching and tell yourself “on the two, on the two, on the two,” but it’s no use, your foot starts to move a beat too early. But this time, Sunghoon anticipates your movement and says, softer than you expect ‘no,’ and you put your foot back down instead of stepping on his like countless times before. Then he instructs ‘now’, and you finally get it right, getting into the flow of the music properly. You repeat this process a few more times, and only take a break when he’s sure you won’t make mistakes anymore.

You’re halfway through a one-liter bottle of water when you hear him say, “Finally got the basic footwork down, only took an hour.” You scoff at the snarky remark and are about to come back at him with something just as petty, but you notice the shadow of a smile on his lips, more playful than patronizing, so you bite it back and try to suppress a smile of your own. With Sunghoon, you’ll take what you can get.

He doesn’t give you more than another minute of break, ignoring your complaints and urging you back towards him in the center of the room. “Let’s move on to the second part.”

You only have a week to get ready, so you practice like crazy, Sunghoon trying to reduce his working hours as much as possible and you slipping away from your parents and sister whenever you can. You go over the steps on your own, taking any opportunity to do so, whether that’s when you find yourself alone in your family’s rental or as you walk back across the bridge and lawn to the main grounds, letting your body move to the music in your head.

When she can make it, Chaewon also comes to practice with you. Her presence is always helpful - she sometimes stands behind you, holding you by the hips and correcting your posture, sometimes replaces either you or Sunghoon so you can watch her and mirror her moves from different perspectives. 

Although she was originally wary and dismissive of you, when she saw how intent you were on helping her, a complete stranger, out, her view of you completely changed. You can tell how thankful she is by the constant kindness she shows you, encouraging you to compensate for Sunghoon’s lack of praise.

Indeed, all three of you are surprised and happy to see how quickly you’re progressing, but Sunghoon has a knack for keeping his emotions behind a veil and his praises to a minimum. Sure, that means his compliments, his small ‘you did well today’ or ‘good job’ make you blush a little redder, but you wouldn’t complain if they were more frequent, either.

What he can’t hide from you, however, is that he is clearly starting to become more tolerant of your presence. You’d like to say you knew all along that he would soften up eventually, but truth is, you were scared he was going to stay this cold for the length of your time together, so it comes as even more of a relief when he stops reprimanding you so harshly for small mistakes or when he smiles along with you as you celebrate getting through a big chunk of the routine flawlessly for the first time. When one day, he actually laughs with you instead of berating you, you almost explode in on yourself out of joy. You convince yourself that those butterflies you feel erupting in your stomach is because it’s so surprising to see someone usually so guarded letting himself go a bit more, that it isn’t just the simple sound of his laughter making you feel lightheaded.

On the fourth day of practice, you manage to find enough time to practice for almost three hours in a row. Towards the end of the session, after feeling like you were about to pass out due to extortion, you have a strange surge of energy. Sunghoon, on the other hand, has almost exhausted his very impressive stamina, but still wants to go through what you’ve learned up until now.

The music starts, and you don’t know if it was this surge of energy, or if it was Sunghoon’s tired expression that made you want to tease him, but you decide it’d be funny to repeat back to him the directions he always gives you - you know them by heart at this point. 

“Hey! Head up,” you joke as you face each other again after a spin. “Lock your frame. Wiggly arms!” You’re happy to see he laughs along with you, shaking his head in amused disbelief at you.

The laughter immediately halts, however, when at the end of the routine, because of your lack of concentration, your foot slips and you find yourself much closer to him than necessary for the ending pose. Your breath hitches in your throat, and your cheeks immediately burn up. After a long moment, Sunghoon looks away, clearing his throat, and you take a big step back from him as if being any nearer might make you spontaneously combust.

“That was, um, that was good today. Good job,” he says quickly, then rushes to grab his stuff and leave the room. Forget the proximity the two of you were just in - was that a flustered Sunghoon you got to see? And was it because of you? It’s almost unfathomable that you could render him shy like that, but a small smirk plays on your lips at the idea of it.

Over the week, you start reaching for the thin tank tops and shorts you own, and steal some of Seeun’s lipgloss and mascara. If Sunghoon notices it, he doesn’t say anything. But perhaps, you’re the one who hasn’t noticed the way he glances at you in the mirror when you take a break or practice on your own, how he can’t help raking his eyes over your body when you aren’t looking, unable to reign his curiosity in. That you might want to get some kind of a reaction out of him doesn’t even cross his mind - because no matter how attractive he may be, he can’t imagine that a serious, educated girl like you with big plans for the future might be interested in a guy like him.

So even if his iciness thaws a bit, he doesn’t let it show that having you around messes with his head, and stays a stern instructor who wants you to get the routine down to a T. “We can’t afford to make any mistakes,” he always says. But there’s something about the way he delivers his instructions sometimes that makes it impossible for you to concentrate on the dance. He’s always either dancing with you, your bodies just a foot apart, or sitting on the floor close to you and watching you, so he doesn’t need to speak so loud for you to hear him. It’s this quietness mixed with the strictness of his tone that makes your insides completely melt. Soft yet rigid, intimate yet steely. 

“Don’t put your heel down, stay on your toes.” 

“Keep your eyes focused on me, especially when you’re spinning.” 

“Always keep your core and your head straight.” 

Words that have no double-meaning whatsoever, yet it doesn’t take long for you to start wondering if he keeps this tone everywhere. Whenever those thoughts cross your mind, you’re practically unable to look him in the eye and speak without stammering. He makes you dizzier than the spins you practice.

It’s on the fifth day that you realize how deep your infatuation with Sunghoon truly is. The routine isn’t exceptionally long, so after five days of practicing, you have all the steps down, except for the lifts which he keeps putting off for later. He watches you do it on your own, and although he admits you know it in and out, he said there’s still something missing. The pang of disappointment you feel at his words soon turns into anticipation as he comes to stand in front of you, closer than usual, and brings your hand to his chest, keeping both of his own over yours.

“Feel this?” he says, voice almost a whisper. By now, you’ve gotten used to the intensity with which he always stares at you, but this time seems different; there’s something more vulnerable, more intimate about his gaze, something you don’t quite understand. You just stare right back at him, unable to look away.

You aren’t sure what he means so you lightly shake your head no. “Here,” he insists, pressing your hand more firmly to his chest, and it clicks. He wants you to feel his heartbeat. Your eyebrows jump slightly, and his lips form a small smile at your realization. “Close your eyes.” he says softly, and you do as told. 

“The steps aren’t enough, Baby. You have to feel the music. It’s within you, it’s within me, it’s within all of us. You just gotta find it.” This was something you’d heard a lot of times before, said by singers on the radio, by some of your friends in the high school choir - that they felt the music. But you’d never quite understood what they meant until now, until Sunghoon showed you. With two fingers, he starts tapping against the back of your hand to the rhythmic beat of his heart. 

“Du-dum, du-dum. Feel it now?” he asks, and you nod, too transfixed to produce actual words. His smile widens, and your heart swells because of his expression, more affectionate than you’ve ever seen it. 

“Now dance.”

Your body moves as if of its own accord, the moves now ingrained in your muscles and coming as a reflex to you. Together, you go through the whole routine with no music. You hadn’t needed to check yourself in the mirror to know you did perfectly - the smile on Sunghoon’s face tells you enough.

When the evening rolls around, there’s a lightness to your demeanor that both confuses and delights your parents, but even if they asked you to explain what happened, you don’t think you’d be able to find the words to do so.

-

Sure, Sunghoon doesn’t look at you like he hates you with every fiber of his being anymore, and he even dares crack a smile or laugh once in a while, but it’s not like you’re the best of friends either. There are still moments when he gets frustrated with you - one of those being the time you practice the opening of the routine. He hadn’t yet taught you that part, but as soon as he showed it to you, you understood why.

You stand back to him, heads turned towards each other. Your heights match perfectly so that, when standing so close together, his lips are right in your eyeline. His beautiful, plump, kissable lips that you find yourself thinking about too many times.

Your left arm stays by your side but your right arm is raised so that he can trail his fingertips all the way from your hand down to your waist - a sensual move that, despite setting the tone for the routine, you are not at all ready to perform. Not because it requires any kind of complex technique or years of practice, far from that, but because you don’t yet have the professionalism that Sunghoon, Chaewon and other performers like them have. Nevermind his fingers brushing past your armpit, which is obviously a ticklish place, you can’t handle the seriousness that comes with such intimacy, nor can you resist the urge to laugh every time. This, of course, does not please Sunghoon.

The first couple times it happens, he just rolls his eyes and sighs, thinking you just need to get your head in the dance and then you’d be fine. So he gets back into position, again, again, and again, and even though your full-blown laughters turn into quieter snorts or chuckles, you still can’t find it in you to keep a straight face. 

After the sixth time, his patience runs out. You can tell he wants to blow up at you by the redness of his face and the iciness of his stare, but when he speaks, he doesn’t raise his voice - his tone is so harsh that there’s no need for it. 

“You pull yourself together, or we’re done here.”

Whether he means you’re done for the day, or completely done with the practice, meaning all your efforts this week go to waste and you don’t perform on Saturday, you aren’t sure, but you don’t think this is the right time to question him. You get back into position, and finally, on the seventh try, you don’t laugh. After so many times, his touch doesn’t tickle so much - rather, it burns. Now, instead of resisting laughter, you have to keep yourself from completely melting under his touch.

But then, you realize that this is what you’ve been daydreaming about this whole time - to have him close, to have him touch you. Even though this was still part of the routine, the point of this move was to show the chemistry between the two dancers, the attraction they needed to, or at least pretend to, have for each other to take the performance from good to mesmerizing. Good thing you didn’t need to pretend.

Of course, Sunghoon has touched your waist and shoulders thousands of times by now, but after so many days together, you start to crave a different kind of touch, and in different places. You never let yourself relish too much in the warmth of his palms for fear of getting too used to it, and, worse than anything, missing it when he’s gone - as if that wasn’t already the case. But with this opening move, you can finally let yourself melt under his touch and play it off as being really into the dance. If anything, he’d probably be glad you’re letting your reserves go.

And so you do. Eyes closed, head tilted towards him and slightly back, revealing more of your neck, you feel his fingertips brush along your side until they reach your hand, and you start dancing. For the two minutes of the routine, you aren’t even thinking of the steps anymore, only looking into his eyes and letting your muscle memory do the work for you.

At the end, you stay in the final pose for a few seconds longer than usual, looking into each other’s eyes. Sunghoon isn’t the most expressive person ever, so you’d quickly learned how to decipher the slightest changes in his face. In this moment, he looks at you like he sees you for the first time, really sees you, with something like pride in his eyes. You smile at each other, and his next words make your heart skip a beat in surprise at first, then swell in satisfaction.

“I think that was the best you’ve danced so far. If you do it like this on Saturday night, it’ll be perfect.”

-

However, there’s one last thing you needed to learn: lifts. Sunghoon has been putting them off almost the whole week, saying you’d get to them later, that you needed to get the other steps down before. There are two in the routine, and whenever one comes up, Sunghoon says “that’s for later,” and keeps going with the dance. Except later never comes, and soon enough, you only have a day left to learn and perfect those lifts. The stress of not mastering them on time starts to get to your head, and your stress must be contagious, because Sunghoon explodes for the first (and only) time on Friday afternoon when you make a mistake in the basic steps.

“Are you kidding me?” he suddenly yells, taking a wide step back away from you and looking at you with uncharacteristic anger. Sure, he wasn’t always the most pleasant with you, and you were no stranger to Sunghoon’s expressions of or dislike, but you hadn’t seen anger on him until now. No matter how beautiful he is, you have to admit this isn’t his best look.

“What?” you respond, voice at the same level as his, not understanding his sudden burst of impatience.

“What?! This is a basic step you shouldn’t even be thinking about anymore, let alone not get right. The performance is tomorrow, you can’t be making stupid mistakes now!” He sighs in frustration and tears his gaze away from you for a moment, then looks back, his eyes hard. “Is this your idea of fun?”

You scoff and cross your arms over your chest. “My idea of fun? You really think I’m doing this for fun?” He doesn’t say anything, just keeps on staring at you. “I’ve been breaking my back and sneaking around for almost a whole week just to save your ass, I don’t get anything out of it, and you have the nerve to ask me if I’m doing this for fun?” You can see he wants to say something, but you don’t let him. “Oh, and I’m glad you seem to remember the performance is tomorrow, because I’ll have you know you still haven’t taught me those damn lifts! How can you get mad at me for a small mistake when you won’t even teach me the whole routine?!”

You’re out of breath after screaming so loud and so quickly, but still Sunghoon doesn’t move for a few seconds, until suddenly, he pivots and walks towards the door. At the threshold, he turns to you and tells you to follow him, as if that should have been obvious. He doesn’t give you any time for questions so you run after him. Outside, a heavy summer rain is coming down, and your clothes are soaked through after just ten seconds. You walk a few steps behind him as he heads to his car, muttering a curse under his breath when he realizes he’s forgotten his keys inside the locked vehicle. You let out a small shriek when he breaks one of the backseat windows to open the door from inside, reaching for his keys still resting in the ignition. You just stand there, watching him in confusion, until he calls to you from the driver’s seat. “C’mon! There’s a place I need to show you.”

You know it’s a bad idea - you’ve already been gone for over an hour, and if you leave with him for God knows how much longer, your parents would start to wonder where you are. But there’s something about his face, his anger that had completely disappeared and let way for what seemed like excitement, the rain pouring down and the loud sound of his car’s motor; it all creates a rush of adrenaline in you, and you want to know what he has in store. So you get in the car, and as soon as you’re buckled in, Sunghoon backs out of the parking lot and starts driving, the destination completely unknown to you, but you trust him enough to not be bothered by that.

The two of you drive for around ten minutes in comfortable silence, sometimes catching the other’s eye in the rearview mirror and bursting into giggles. You don’t know why, but when you open your window and let your arm out, letting out a big whoop, he laughs like it’s the most amazing thing he’s ever seen.

In the week you spend together with Sunghoon, these are the moments you love the most. When he’s seemingly let go of his barriers and lets you see a side of him that you don’t think many people get access to, a side to which laughter comes easy. Although it gives you whiplash when he so suddenly goes back to his serious and stonelike nature, you’d rather get glimpses of his carefree self than forever be stuck with the face he usually puts on with you. You aren’t sure if he is always one or the other with other people, or if he keeps his tendency to almost switch personalities with everyone, but you’re just glad it doesn’t feel like he’d always prefer to be somewhere else than with you anymore - and that it almost feels like he enjoys, or at the very least tolerates spending time in your company now.

He parks in what seems to be the middle of nowhere, on a small patch of gravel between the road and a forest, right before a bridge that crosses over a current. He gets out and starts towards what looks like a forest, telling you good-humoredly to hurry up and follow him. The rain has calmed down to a drizzle, gentle as it falls on your shoulders and a refreshing break from the sweltering heat of the past few days. Faster than you expected, you’ve reached your destination, which is a point where the current is calm and a wide trunk tree crosses it. You have no idea how Sunghoon ever found this place, but you’ve never seen him wear such an ecstatic expression, so you don’t even question it.

He takes his shoes off and gets on the tree trunk, spreading his arms wide to keep himself from falling. You sit down, one leg on each side of the trunk, and watch amusedly as he titters and regains his balance, sending sheepish smiles your way when he gets close to plummeting into the water. 

“Where’d you learn to dance?” you ask suddenly, the question forming in your head and leaving your lips simultaneously.

He considers you for a second, then plops himself down on the trunk, letting his legs sway over the emptiness. He looks out to the current when he speaks, as if talking to the air around him rather than directly to you. “I lived and went to school in a low-income neighborhood, so there were always these people coming and going, trying to get kids like us to start working and get out of the neighborhood, or make it better or something. One day these people came in, saying they were giving out lessons to become a dance instructor, and it was the only one that ever caught my interest. I did it, aced the test, and they gave me a spot here that I managed to keep every summer. Haven’t wanted to do anything else since.” He looks back at you and you catch a glimpse of cautiousness, perhaps a fear of finding judgment in your eyes, but his expression turns friendly again when he finds only curiosity and sympathy there.

“What about the rest of the year? Do you also have a teaching job back home?” you ask, daring to go further in your interrogation of Sunghoon’s personal life. Just a few days ago, you’d never have dreamed of asking him something like this, but there’s something about him today that makes you think it’s okay to get closer, if you tread lightly.

He snickers humorlessly and looks down at his hands, palms resting on the trunk in front of him. “I’m lucky I get to escape that place just three months a year when I’m working here. Otherwise, I’m stuck with the old man and his carpenting business I’m fated to inherit when he retires.” Before you can say anything in response, he jumps back up on his feet and holds a hand out to you, making a motion for you to come to him. You’re slightly taken aback at the sudden switch in his demeanor, but you know better than to force anything with Sunghoon. “We didn’t come here to chit-chat, did we? Come over here.”

Devilish - there’s no other word to describe his expression at that moment.

“Nuh-uh, I’m not getting on there, I’m gonna fall and break an ankle,” you immediately protest, but he doesn’t need to say anything, just approaches you with a mischievous smile and reaches his hands out to you - and you take them, letting him bring you to your feet.

You climb up tentatively, glad to see the trunk isn’t slippery even after the rain, and hold on tight to Sunghoon’s hands until you’ve managed to find your own balance. “Okay, what now?” you say breathily, half-paralyzed in terror and half-pumped with adrenaline.

“Let’s dance,” he says, a playful smile teasing his lips.

“What, here?” you reply, looking at him like he suggested you rob a bank.

“Yes, here.” He grabs your hand tighter and brings you closer to him, securing an arm around your waist before you can stumble off of the trunk. It’s definitely your near-death experience and not his proximity that makes your heart beat faster, definitely.

He quietly hums the song, but you’ve heard it so many times at this point that you could do the dance with no music at all. More than dancing the same steps, there’s something electrifying about knowing that the same song is playing in your and Sunghoon’s heads right now. You wonder if he feels it playing in his heart too.

What you’re doing isn’t quite dancing - you’re just taking small, careful, clumsy steps together, giggling as you try to stay atop the trunk and letting out a yelp when he attempts to spin you but it only results in you two almost falling off. He holds you close as if making sure that if one of you goes down, the other goes down with them. Your face is right in front of his chest, and when you risk a look up at him, he’s already gazing down at you, his playfulness making the light in his eyes shine even brighter. 

Your breath hitches in your throat when his eyes drift down to your lips, moving as you talk, but you still manage to get the words out, whispering them in the small space between the two of you. “You’re supposed to teach me lifts, aren’t you?” 

“Yeah. Let’s go,” he whispers back, but makes no move to leave the trunk or distance himself from you.

“Okay,” you breathe. You repeat the word and take a step back, somehow gathering the will to tear yourself away from him, from his eyes fixated on your parted lips. “Let’s go.”

He leads you back through the woods to a wide clearing. After the downpour of the early afternoon, the sun is starting to shine again, rays of light making their way through the grayish clouds and high pines, and bathing your surroundings in a comforting glow. Sunghoon stands facing the sun, and the sunlight hits his face so perfectly, you have to keep yourself from snorting at how ridiculously handsome he is.

The only instructions he gives you are as follows: “You’ve seen lifts before. You know you just run to me to gather momentum, then when you’re close enough, bend your knees and keep your core and whole body tight as I lift you. But the most important thing is that you trust me, alright? If you don’t, we could both get hurt.”

The first few times, you just practice the running and the picking up, not wanting to venture into the actual overhead lift right away. It’s easy enough - just find the right distance, the right speed, and remember not to let your body go limp in Sunghoon’s hands.

But when you’ve gotten the hang of it, and Sunghoon tells you to try the complete lift, you freeze. You just stop right in front of him, looking at him with wide eyes. “This is too scary, I can’t do it.”

To your surprise, instead of letting out an annoyed sigh or rolling his eyes, Sunghoon smiles. His eyes go soft and the corners of his lips tug up.

“What’s scary?”

“Falling. Getting hurt, hurting you,” you say, looking into his eyes with the hope that he’ll make all your anxieties go away.

“Don’t think about those things. Don’t think about anything, just trust me. Let yourself be picked up first, and then we’ll worry about your form and how to keep it, okay?”

“O-okay.” You walk a few steps back to regain some distance, and he nods reassuringly as you take a deep breath in, and a deep breath out. You run to him, and as if his words had gone straight from his mouth to your limbs, you let him lift you - and the world looks so different from this high up.

You marvel at the feeling of floating in the air, but you quickly start to feel yourself slipping forward, and Sunghoon is yelling “Hold it, hold it!” and before you know it, you’ve dipped forward and fallen right on top of him. Thankfully, it was a slow fall, and he had time to soften the blow, so that the immediate reaction from the both of you is to burst into laughter.

You roll over so that you’re laying on your back next to him and rest your palms on your stomach, feeling it shake with laughter. Once you’ve calmed down, you turn your head towards him and he imitates you a second later. You probably look like idiots, out-of-breath and smiling widely at each other in this field, but there isn’t a thing you would change about this moment.

“Do you know what the best place to practice lifts is?” he asks, and you watch how his dimples disappear and reappear as he talks. You shake your head. His dimples deepen. “The water.”

You change locations again, heading back towards the current and finding the lake it stems from. You and Sunghoon turn your backs to each other as he takes his t-shirt off and you, your denim shorts, not wanting them to weigh you down in the water. When you turn back around, you have to force yourself to detach your eyes from his perfectly defined abs and shoulders thanks to years of dancing and physical exertion almost every day. You stare out at the lake like it’s the first time you’ve ever seen so much water, otherwise you’d be gawking at him like it’s the first time you’ve ever seen a man. Your cheeks burn up when you feel his eyes on your legs, taking your half-naked figure in, and he chuckles as you rush to hide yourself in the water.

Once in the water, you practice the actual lift, which consists of Sunghoon hoisting you high above his head and you keeping a straight posture, with your arms perpendicular to your body and your chest slightly lifted as if you were truly soaring through the air. It already looks difficult, and yet it’s even harder than it looks. It does help being in the water because at least you’re not scared for your life when you lose your balance and dive forward, but you let out a yelp nonetheless each time it happens. Sunghoon keeps on telling you to hold your posture, but each attempt ends in you falling into the water and bringing him down with you.

You drift apart and swim back towards each other every time, your arms wrapping around his neck and his hands coming to your hips to get back into position for the lift. You’re having a lot of fun, too much fun, probably, when the performance is just a day away - but getting to see Sunghoon’s smile and hear his laugh as you play around and try your best at the lift makes it worth it. When the strap of your tank top slips over your shoulder, you notice out of the corner of your eye Sunghoon’s hand reaching for it just as you put it back yourself. He plays it off by raking a hand through his wet hair, getting it out of his eyes, and smiles shyly at you when your gazes lock. You have no idea what’s going to happen after the performance, if you’ll stay friends or if he’ll pretend like this never even happened - all you know is that you’d be happy doing this all summer.

“One last time?”

-

And just like that, it’s late Saturday afternoon and the performance is just an hour away. You barely eat or speak during dinner, partly out of nervousness, but mostly because you want your lie of having a headache and needing to rest in your room more believable. Chaewon had said she’d help you put your dress on and get ready before the show, so when you’ve escaped the dinner table, you rush to her cabin.

But just as you exit the building, an old woman you recognize as Mrs Jung walks in. She must be surprised at your sudden appearance because she slightly bumps into the door and drops her bag. An unusual amount of wallets fall from it, but you don’t think too much of it - you’ve seen rich people do weirder things. 

You bend down to help her gather her things, and she chuckles lightly, thanking you. “Such a sweet girl, isn’t she, Harold?” she says to her husband who had appeared behind the door as well. You wish them a nice evening and part ways, gushing to yourself over how cute old couples are as you head to the Chaewon’s cabin.

She does your hair, pulling it into a tight bun and securing every stray strand with a bobby pin. You have no experience with makeup since it’s always been off-limits in your house, so she expertly applies eyeshadow, mascara and lipstick to your face. The sticky feel of it is unfamiliar but once you look in the mirror, you almost can’t look away. It’s still you, of course it is, but the bright colors make you look glamorous, like performing in front of a large crowd is just routine for you. You thank Chaewon, a huge smile on her face, and watch her own light up in relief that you like the makeup.

As she zips your dress up, a flowy baby pink dress she got out of her closet just for you, you repeat back all the instructions Sunghoon has given you over the week to make sure you remember everything. “I just gotta keep my head up, keep my core and my arms straight, follow the mu-”

“Thank you, Baby,” Chaewon quietly interrupts, and the slight tremble in her voice and the vulnerability with which she looks at you lets you know she really means it. You stop your declamation immediately and smile at her, kindness in your eyes.

She looks down and tries to find her words. “You know, I- I just want you to know that I, I don’t sleep around, and Heeseung, I really thought he loved me, and-”

You can see the tears already forming in her eyes so you bring her into a tight hug, resting your cheek against the side of her head. “I know, Chaewon, don’t worry. And even if you did sleep around, it wouldn’t matter, Heeseung should take responsibility no matter what. We’re all here to help you. Don’t worry.” You lean back to hold her face in your hands and try to give as reassuring a smile as you can.

“I’m scared, Baby,” she whispers, trying to calm her sobs to get the words out.

“Everything’s gonna be fine, Chaewon,” you say, and you hope she believes it as much as you do. “Everything’s gonna be just fine. You’ve got Sunghoon, and Jake, and you’ve got me too.” 

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath in. When she opens them again, she grabs your hands and shakes them between the two of you, mirroring your smile. “Okay, okay,” she murmurs. “Sorry, this isn’t the best time for me to break down. You feeling ready?” she asks, and even if it’s just for now, you’re glad she’s feeling better and got to let her emotions out.

“Not at all, I’m so nervous. I don’t want to mess something up and let you or Sunghoon down,” you admit, your smile wavering for a second.

“Whatever happens, you won’t let us down,” she says, squeezing your hands. “It’s amazing, what you’re doing.” 

You can’t help but look away at her words. “It’s the least I can do,” you mumble.

“No, Baby, you’re doing more than most people would. And Sunghoon, he might have his own way of showing it, but he’s extremely grateful for you,” she says, and it puts a smile on your face.

“By his own way of showing it, do you mean not showing it at all?” you joke.

“That’s Sunghoon for you.” You giggle quietly together, but her eyes drift to the clock on the wall behind you and she lets out a sigh. “It’s time, Baby. And don’t worry, I know you’ll do amazing,” she says, bringing you into a brief hug.

You’re so nervous, everything that follows is a blur - leaving Chaewon’s cabin and sneaking over to Sunghoon’s car, the drive to the Sheldrake Hotel, the staff there leading you backstage, and finding your spot on the stage. You only snap out of it when the curtains lift and a voice booms from the speakers in the room, announcing “Sunghoon Park and partner dancing the mambo” as the audience breaks into polite claps.

The music starts, and Sunghoon can immediately feel the tension in your body. He trails his fingers all the way down your arm to your waist, just like you’d practiced a ton of times before, and he uses the proximity between the two of you to whisper “Relax” into your ear. “Just follow my lead, you’ve got this,” he says, loud enough for only you to hear, and extends his arm to send you spinning. 

You manage the first few steps, trying to let go of your anxiety, but it’s got a tight grip on your body and makes your stomach twist. You think it’s all over when you mess up a turn, going right instead of left, but Sunghoon’s quick to whisper “over here” and you find your way again. “Look at me,” Sunghoon says once you’re facing each other again, and you lock eyes with him. And for some reason, that works - focusing only on him makes you feel like it’s just the two of you in the room, just like so many times this past week, and it dissipates all your nerves, makes your muscle memory kick in. You finally let him lead you and follow the music, thinking of nothing but Sunghoon and dancing together.

And yet, when it’s time for the lift, you freeze again. You find your position and run to Sunghoon, just like you know you’re supposed to, but you can’t let him lift you, your limbs turning into lead in his hold. Thinking quickly, you come up with another step on the spot, hoping it isn’t too obvious to the audience you just messed up. Sunghoon takes the lead again, and the rest of the performance goes smoothly, the other moves and the smaller, easier lift realized perfectly by the both of you.

You finish off the number, and the sound of the applause directed at the two of you fills you with a pride you’d never felt before, a feeling much more satisfying than any good grade or won argument ever had. Another sort of daze fills your mind now, and it makes you feel like there’s a small cloud under your feet so that you’re floating instead of walking everywhere. It almost makes you miss the Jungs, but when you see the old couple slowly walking out of the room, you’re scared you might be done for.

You rush back to the parking lot with Sunghoon, whooping in excitement as soon as you're out of anyone’s earshot. In the backseat, you change out of your dress and back into your regular clothes.

“God, that was- that was amazing, I can’t believe you get to live this every week during the summer, it was just- my God…” you say, struggling to get your right hand through the sleeve of your blouse.

“Yeah? Did you have fun?” Sunghoon answers, a smile on his face that turns into a gulp when he sees your half-naked body in the rearview mirror. He can’t help but risk a few more glances, hoping you don’t notice.

“I did, I really did, but I- I messed up that one turn, and I didn’t do the lift-”

“That doesn’t matter,” Sunghoon says firmly. “You did real good, Baby.” And after a beat, he adds: “Thank you. You did real good.” Your eyes lock in the mirror but you look away before he can catch sight of your reddening cheeks.

“And oh my God, there was that couple, the, the-”

“The Jungs, right? Yeah, I saw them too,” Sunghoon chuckles. “I got so scared.”

“Right? Me too! They won’t say anything, will they, do you think?”

“Probably not. I don’t think they even recognized either of us.”

You button your jeans and climb your way over to the passenger seat next to Sunghoon, grateful for the lack of headrests in his car. It suddenly grows quiet between the two of you. You want to ask whether you’ll keep meeting now that you’ve done your part, but you’re afraid Sunghoon might want to have nothing to do with you from now on even if it doesn’t seem like he dislikes you anymore. So you stay silent, watching out of the window, sometimes turning your head towards Sunghoon and catching his eye, then smiling at each other shyly.

Something in you is screaming at you to reach out to him, brush a hand over his hair, interlace your fingers with his - any kind of touch. You thought the ball of nerves in your stomach would disappear after the show, but it’s still there, and it’s taken hold of your entire body now, the anticipation of whatever is to come almost unbearable. You notice Sunghoon’s gaze ping-ponging between you and the road, and the tightness with which he holds the steering wheel, and you dare let yourself hope, just a little bit, that he shares those same wild thoughts jumping around your mind.

When you reach the parking lot next to the staff quarters, Sunghoon is quick to get out of the car, while you rub at your eyes and lips, trying to get as much makeup off as you can. Your parents would most likely be in bed by now, but just in case they were still up, you didn’t want them to catch you with bright red lips and blue eyelids. Sunghoon walks around to your side and opens your door for you, even grabbing your hand to help you out of the car. Once you’re out, he takes your other hand in his, facing you as he walks slowly backwards, and with the way he’s gazing down at you, you think those unspoken thoughts might finally come into the light. But before either of you can say anything, you hear quick footsteps rushing towards you, and a familiar voice calling out to Sunghoon.

He swings around to find a panting, alarmed-looking Jake. “Sunghoon, it’s- it’s Chaewon, something went wrong, she’s not feeling well-”

Neither of you need to hear more before you’re running to the cabin, reaching it in record time. There’s way more people than there should be in and outside Chaewon’s room, all watching and doing absolutely nothing except for another girl you recognise as part of the dancing crew holding a wet cloth to her head as Chaewon, her face covered in sweat and her eyes shut tight in pain, moans and mumbles incoherently, slightly delirious from fever. The girl at her bed steps aside when she sees Sunghoon approaching, and he kneels next to Chaewon, holding her hand in both of his and reassuring her as best she can.

“It’s that doctor,” Jake starts, “he was so shady, had a folding table and a dirty knife, and I- I heard screams coming from that room, Hoon, awful screams, and I tried getting in and getting Chaewon out but they wouldn’t let me-”

What’s obvious to you right now is that Chaewon is in desperate need of an actual doctor, and nobody here can provide that for her, so you rush out of the room, and, as fast as your legs can carry you, run to your father and wake him up in a hurry, grabbing his doctor’s bag. You’re glad for your father’s blind trust in you - other than an instinctive “Is Seeun alright?”, which you nod your head at, he doesn’t ask any questions, just sees you need his help. He listens to your unclear and frantic explanations of what’s going on as he follows you to the staff cabin. 

“Alright, out of the way, everyone, give the girl some space,” your father says as he enters Chaewon’s room, the way he carries himself and speaks instantly commanding obedience from the group. People filter out as he takes Sunghoon’s spot next to Chaewon, checking her pulse and temperature. “Who’s responsible for this lady?” he asks without looking away from his patient.

“I am,” Sunghoon says, taking a step towards him. “Is she gonna be okay?” He seems so distressed you want to take him into your arms and tell him it’ll be okay, but you can’t do that - not here, not in front of your dad.

Your father turns his head to take a look at Sunghoon, his expression unreadable, then turns back to Chaewon, leaving Sunghoon’s question unanswered, floating in the air ominously.

He makes you all leave the room, and you wait for what feels like hours until your father finally comes out, his briefcase in hand, and announces that Chaewon just needs some rest and then she’d be okay. He lets Jake thank him and shake his hand agitatedly, but once again just stares Sunghoon down and ignores him when he tries to do the same. He takes you by the shoulder, making you walk away with him without saying goodbye to anyone. He’s silent for a few moments, waiting to have gone down a few steps before he speaks, and when he does, his voice is tense and almost trembles with anger.

“Is this what my money paid for? I’m disappointed in you, Baby. You’re not who I thought you were.” He doesn’t even let you defend yourself, just keeps walking without looking at you. “I don’t want you to hang around those people anymore, do you understand?”

“But dad-”

“I don’t want to hear it,” he says firmly, and the slight increase of volume catches you off guard. Not once has your dad raised his voice at you, or at least not since you were a child - that’s how you understand how truly upset he is at you. He finally turns around to look at you, his eyebrows furrowed. “And get that stuff off of your face before your mother sees it.”

The rest of the walk back to your bungalow is done in unbearable, utter silence, and you can��t wait to be away from your father and the anger pouring off of him in waves. But that silence doesn’t seem to go away, even when you finally reach your bed, even when your sister starts snoring quietly, completely oblivious to the events of the night. The silence grows so loud in your ears that it creates a fuzz all around your brain, making your head throb and blurring your thoughts, rendering them incomprehensible. The sheer weight of it forces your eyelids closed even though you don’t feel tired at all - there’s too much going on in your mind for you to fall asleep.

There’s the relief of your father having helped Chaewon, and the knowledge that she’ll be okay thanks to him; but there’s also the image of his disappointed expression etched into your brain and the words “You’re not who I thought you were” playing on a hellish loop. There’s the worry he won’t ever see you the way he used to, that you won’t be his little girl anymore, but there’s also the satisfaction of that exact thing, the liberation that comes with your father finally realizing you’re not perfect and make mistakes too.

And then there’s Sunghoon.

There’s Sunghoon, and his concern for Chaewon’s safety, his love for his friend that he’s known for years, the hurt on his face when your dad didn’t shake his hand, and the way he quickly retracted his own thereafter, a defeated expression like he was used to such disrespect. But before that, there’s his dimpled smile and sharp canines you find weirdly endearing, the carefree sound of his laughter after you fall on top of him in the water, his warm hands guiding you from step to step, the quick glimpses he throws your way when he thinks you’re not looking but hopes that you are. Even before that, there were the ice-covered walls he put around himself and his friends that could melt as quickly as they could freeze back up, until finally one day he opened the door for you to come in. There was the elegance in his moves and the feeling like all the air in the room had evaporated when you watched him dance, only for it to fill you back up when he took you by the hand and showed you how to let yourself go for the first time.

The fog in your mind clears at the thought of him, like sunlight forcing its way through gray clouds after a thunderstorm. You need to see him.

You need to check on him, to make sure he’s feeling alright, and laugh with him if he is or cry if he isn’t. You need to hold his head between your palms and graze a hand through his hair and do and say all the things you’ve been wanting to this week.

You climb out of your bed and grab the first cardigan you see, then slip your shoes on and make your way to the front door. You try to be as quiet as possible, but once outside, you hang back just for a few moments in case anyone has heard you leaving, so that if they come to check, you can just say you’re getting some fresh air on the front porch. No one seems to stir so you rush to Sunghoon’s cabin. It’s past midnight and the only light guiding you is that of the stars and the bright moon up above.

When Sunghoon opens his door, he seems at once relieved and surprised to find you there. “Baby,” he simply says, gazing down at you. He looks so tired, you think. The performance at the Sheldrake was just a few hours ago, but it already feels so far away.

“Hey. Can I- can I come in?” you ask, slightly out-of-breath from your walking so fast.

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” he says, turning his body to let you in his cabin. Since your first time here, that night you’d found Chaewon crying in the kitchen, you’d learned more about this place. Thanks to his seniority here, Sunghoon has a separate studio-like cabin further down the path where all the staff bungalows are, and it’s bigger than most of them, even though it’s still just one room that accommodates his bed, a closet, a desk, a sink and some other chairs, shelves and drawers.

A soft song is playing in the background and the main light is off, the small lamps here and there providing enough light for you to see. You hadn’t at all thought to look around when you were here last, so you’re curious to really see what Sunghoon’s living space is like.

You walk further into the room, taking in your surroundings and reveling in all the traces of Sunghoon’s life - discarded clothes here and there, a stack of record players from the early fifties to now, posters of movie stars and famous singers, some photos of him with Jake, Chaewon and other members of the entertainment team. He looks around like he’s seeing the room for the first time too, maybe trying to see it through your eyes and imagining what you could be thinking of it. He picks up clothes from the floor and from an armchair only to throw them in his closet, gesturing for you to sit down, and rubs the back of his neck in what seems like an embarrassed gesture.

“It’s not much… you’re probably used to a lot better…” he says with an apologetic tone.

“No, no, it’s great,” you say quickly, not wanting him to feel embarrassed. You look at him with a smile. “I love it here.”

He mirrors your smile, letting out a shaky breath of relief, then sits down at the edge of his bed, too far away for   your liking. The tense atmosphere from earlier in the car is back, filling the room with the silence of a thousand unspoken words. A beat passes before you speak up. “I’m sorry about the way my father treated you, Sunghoon. It wasn’t nice.”

Sunghoon looks genuinely shocked upon hearing your words and starts to shake his head fervently. “No, no, your father was great, the- the way he took care of Chaewon, I could never do anything like that in my life, he was amazing.”

“Yes, but I’m talking about you, Sunghoon, not Chaewon. He completely ignored you, he should have treated you with more respect.” His eyes find yours, and the look on his face like he wants to believe you but can’t quite bring himself to makes your heart ache.

He chuckles and lets his head hang low, looking down at his hands. “Why should he? I’m- I’m nothing,” he says quietly, so quietly that you think you might have misheard, because never in a hundred years would you have thought that someone like Sunghoon could think so lowly of himself.

Your surprise makes it hard to gather your words and say something coherent, but you try your best. “What- Sunghoon, how could you say that? You’re not nothing, you’re- you’re everything,” you say, the last word coming out breathy.

He looks at you like he’s never heard those words before, never had somebody tell him he was so much more than he thought he was - but maybe that’s because he’d never told anyone how he really felt. A pained expression flashes across his face, and you’re scared you might’ve said the wrong thing but his next words reassure you that that’s not it.

“You don’t understand… One month, I’m living off of scraps and struggling to make ends meet, and the next, rich ladies are stuffing hundred dollar bills in my pockets and giving me the key to their room. Everywhere I am, people just use me to get what they need. My dad basically forces me to work with him and doesn’t give a crap what I really want, the women here use me to escape the boredom of their lives, and Max and his asshole grandson Jay just want me to make as much money as I can so they can get even richer.” His voice gets louder the more he talks, the anger getting to him. He chuckles darkly, but his expression softens when he catches your gaze. “I have to live like this. If I start thinking I deserve more, that I- that I’m everything, like you say, I’ll never be satisfied. I’ll always want more. I can’t handle that.”

“It doesn’t have to be that way. It shouldn’t be that way,” you say quietly, shaking your head and looking at him sadly. You don’t know how to make him see that for the joy he brings everyone who gets to see him dance, for the care and safety he gives the people he loves, and the way he’s made you feel like you can finally escape the thoughts in your head, he deserves everything he wants in the world. You don’t know how to make him see his worth and the respect he deserves as much as anyone else.

He smiles at you wistfully, like he can see his own, long-gone, naive hopefulness on your face. “I’ve never met anyone like you, Baby. You look at the world and you think you can make it better.”

It’s your turn to chuckle humorlessly. “Yeah, I run to my daddy, like you said.”

“No,” he says firmly, his tone catching you off guard. “No, that took a lot of guts, doing what you did. I love that about you, you just go ahead and do things. You didn’t even know Chaewon, and yet you learned a whole professional routine in a week just because you wanted to and you could. And now you risked your relationship with your father just to help her out once again. You- you’re not scared of anything!”

“Me? I’m scared of everything!” you cry out, suddenly standing up, the emotions boiling in your stomach making you unable to sit any longer. “I’m scared of the disappointment in my parents’ eyes, of failing school, of being stuck in a life I can’t escape from…” Your gaze travels around the room before it settles on Sunghoon once again, your gazes locking each other in so tightly you don’t know if you’ll ever be able to look away. “But most of all,” you continue, voice shaky and desperate, “I’m scared of leaving this place and never, ever feeling again the way I do when I’m with you.”

His jaw tightens and he has to force himself to look away from you, his eyes focusing on a random object in the corner of the room. With the way he huffs air through his nose and tenses his whole body, he almost looks angry, but you know that’s not it - finally, after a week of torturous hesitation and not-knowing, you understand how Sunghoon feels about you. He feels just like you. All those lingering gazes, those small shocks of electricity whenever you touched, those loud heartbeats at his constant proximity, he felt them too, and it drove him crazy too; you’re sure of it.

Or at least, almost sure of it. And there’s only one way to confirm your suspicions.

Sunghoon thinks you’re not scared of anything, so you’re going to prove it to yourself. You take a step towards him, then another one, and another one, until you’re standing right in front of him. You extend a hand out to him and he doesn’t question it, just takes it and rises, now towering over you as you had over him just a second ago. You’re as close as you usually are when you dance together - or perhaps a bit closer than that.

“Dance with me,” you whisper into the space between your bodies.

“What, here?” he whispers back, finally looking at you. His gaze lingers in your eyes before dropping to your lips, his pupils slowly dilating - there’s your confirmation. 

“Yes, here,” you reply, echoing your conversation on the tree trunk, which somehow was only yesterday.

You wrap your arms around his neck just as his hands come up to hold you by the waist. It’s a position you’ve found yourselves in a hundred times by now, but tonight, it feels so different. The air around you is charged with electricity and all of your moves are purposeful, trying to make the other feel all that you’re feeling with just a touch.

Tight in each other’s arms, you sway to the slow rhythm of the music, your head resting in the crook of his neck while his hands travel from your waist, to your shoulder blades, back down to your hips. Even with two layers of clothing between your bodies, the feeling of having him so close sends shivers down your spine, even though your skin burns everywhere it comes into contact with him. Your breath makes goosebumps appear on the side of his neck, and when his grip on your hips tightens, you take it as a green light to start pressing faint kisses to his skin. He bunches the fabric of your blouse in his hands, slowly pulling it from the confines of your jeans and over your head, making you raise your arms. He makes a ball out of your top and throws it somewhere across his room, his attention fully taken by the sight of your now half-naked body. He immediately discards his own t-shirt, putting his hands back on you as quickly as he can, as if scared you might suddenly disappear.

You go on dancing together, bodies moving in harmony, as if you’re one being rather than two. You let your hands travel over his shoulders and chest and rest them on his stomach as you lean your upper body backwards, trusting him to hold you while you circle your way back to him. When you do, his hands roam down to grab your ass and hike one of your legs around his hips, the friction of your pelvises rubbing together eliciting a heavy, relieved sigh from both of you.

Finally, your lips find each other, and you kiss like you’re each other’s sources of oxygen. Of course, Sunghoon is one of, if not the best, kissers you’ve ever had the honor of sharing a kiss with, because how could he be anything other than perfect? The way he kisses is intense and a little bit messy, and it ignites your whole body, making you crave only more and more until you’ve had everything you want. Your hands and his are restless, endlessly drifting over each other’s bodies, grabbing at shoulders or hips or strands of hair.

He walks backwards to his bed, never once breaking the passionate embrace, until the back of his legs hit the mattress. He sits, spreading his legs wide enough for you to stand between them. His face is right at the level of your chest, and the way he looks up at you as he presses hot, open-mouthed kisses there makes your insides burst and the fire in your core burn harder. Keeping eye contact with him is too much to handle, so you close your eyes and let your head back slightly, grazing your hands through the soft locks of his hair and simply enjoying the feeling of his mouth on you. His warm hands roam your lower back before traveling north to the clasp of your bra. He undoes it but doesn’t take it off - instead, he calls your name, and it’s never sounded better than on his lips.

“Baby?”

“Hm?” You look back down at him and find in his eyes a sort of lustful, dreamlike daze that you’re sure must reflect your own perfectly.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asks breathily, wanting to be certain this is okay for you, but sounding like it’d be the death of him if you said no.

You smile softly and take his head in your hands. “I’ve never been more sure of anything.”

He smiles too, exposing his sharp canines and pretty dimples, and sighs of relief. “Thank God.”

Your bra comes off, and you almost laugh when his pupils blow out at the sight of your naked chest, but your amusement dies, cut off by a loud moan as soon as he takes one of your nipples in his mouth, twirling his tongue around and sucking on the sensitive bud before moving on to the other one. One of his hands rests on your ass while his other arm is wrapped around your waist, and his grip on your waist tightens every time you make a sound that he particularly appreciates. You’re pulling at his hair so much, you’re almost scared of hurting him, but truth be told you’re too focused on the way his mouth feels on you to really be careful about it.

“Come here,” he says, voice hoarse. His jeans aren’t doing a very good job of hiding how hard he is, and he groans at the sudden contact when he pulls you down into his lap. You press kisses everywhere you can - his cheeks, the crook of his neck, his hair, before finding his lips once again. You don’t even realize you’re grinding yourself against him until he breaks away from the kiss to let out a quiet moan, and you bury your face in the dip between his shoulder and his neck, breath hot against his skin as you whine in pleasure.

You could do this for hours, and maybe you do - but at some point, you start needing something more and your core throbs, desperate for more attention. And what better way to communicate that to Sunghoon than to show him exactly what you want?

You unwrap your arms from around his shoulders and let your hand roam down to the waistband of his jeans, smiling shyly at him as you get down on your knees in front of him. He watches with a pained expression, like the anticipation of what you’ll do next actually hurts him, as you unbutton and unzip his jeans, then slide them along with his boxers down his legs. To distract from the fact that his size slightly intimidates you, you take him in your hand right away, circling his reddened tip with your thumb before starting to bring your palm up and down his shaft while your other hand rubs his thigh.

You’re absolutely breathtaken by the sight in front of you: Sunghoon’s abs tensing visibly at your ministrations, his head hung back and his neck and Adam’s apple flushed red on display for you, moans increasing in volume as you continue. You had a feeling Sunghoon wouldn’t be a quiet one, and you’re proud to be proven right.

You put your own needs aside for now, just wanting to see Sunghoon in as much pleasure as you can give him. You bring your head forward and lick a stripe up his length, satisfied when he lets out his loudest moan so far. You don’t tease for too long, only licking at his tip for a bit before taking more of him in your mouth. You keep one hand at the base of his shaft and swirl your tongue around the part you’re able to reach. 

This is the first time you’ve gotten so much pleasure from giving - maybe because Sunghoon’s reactions feed your ego, maybe because you’re so obsessed with him that knowing you’re making him feel good is enough, or maybe both. Definitely both.

But Sunghoon doesn’t let you have your fun for too long, and soon pulls your face gently away from him. His flushed face and fucked-out expression is gratifying to say the least. You look up at him with a smile, rubbing his thighs with your palms as you wait for him to catch his breath.

“A minute longer,” he says, panting, “and I would’ve died.” You giggle at his dramatics and hoist yourself back up, about to position yourself again on his lap but Sunghoon has other plans. He lays you down on your back and comes to rest on his side next to you, holding himself up on a forearm; that way he has both full access to and full view of your face and body. Perfect.

His face is close enough to yours to press kisses there and on your neck while his hand makes his way down your body. When it reaches the waistband of your jeans, you don’t wait for him to say or do anything and undo them yourself, which makes Sunghoon smirk.

“Impatient, are you?” he teases.

“You’re one to talk,” you bite back with a smile, even though your cheeks start to burn.

He slips a hand under your jeans, and gathers slick from between your folds before starting to rub small circles on your clit with the pads of two fingers. He soon gets frustrated from the way your clothes restrict his movements, and whispers in your ear, “Might as well take everything off while we’re at it, don’t you think?”

You roll your eyes at his playful tone but comply, more than happy to undress if it means he can touch with more ease. And indeed, he wastes no time before slipping a finger inside you, smirk widening at the loud half-gasp half-moan you let out at the feeling. “Much better,” he whispers again, but any comeback is wiped from your mind as he adds a second finger in, curling them so that they hit just the spot. You’re drenched at this point, your arousal sticking to the inside of your thighs, but that only makes it easier for him to slip his fingers in and out and means you’re more than ready for him. He keeps his thumb on your clit so that the friction there doesn’t stop either, and it isn’t long before you start to feel that familiar knot twisting your insides, appearing much quicker than you’d like it to.

“Sunghoon- I’m gonna, I’m-”

“You are, huh?” he breathes against your neck in between kisses. And just like that, as if you’d told him to stop and not that you were about to finish, he slips his fingers out of you, watching your reaction with a devilish, amused smirk.

“What? No, no-” you whine, but it’s no use. He rolls away from you, opening the drawer in his bedside table to retrieve something, and he’s lucky it’s a condom, because you might have killed him if it was anything else.

“Just because it’s our first time, I’m making you cum on my cock,” he explains as he rips open the small packet and puts the condom on. He comes back and places himself over you, pressing a kiss to your cheek and aligning himself with your entrance. “Next time, you’ll cum on my fingers and mouth as much as you want, Baby.”

And then, he pushes in.

You don’t need to tell him to go slow, or to wait before he starts moving; he knows. He holds himself up on his hands, biceps tight, and watches your face carefully for any sign of pain or discomfort while he furrows his way in, inch by inch.

When he finally bottoms out, he presses a soft kiss to your glistening hairline and bends down to whisper in your ear, “I’ve been thinking about this all week, and it’s even better than I imagined.”

The corners of your lips tug upwards, but the feeling of Sunghoon filling you up like this makes your brain go fuzzy and you can’t even begin to form coherent words or thoughts. You grab on to his biceps and shoulders as he starts to move back and forth, slowly at first, but progressively picking up speed, your moans egging him on.

He takes one of your legs and hikes it up around his hip, allowing him to go deeper and hit that spot that has you arching your back and crying out. You’re clawing at his back, eyes shut tight and mouth going dry, and his fast, regular rhythm is bringing you to the edge once again. Either Sunghoon has terrible timing, or he knows precisely how close you are and wants to tease you, because he slows down and pulls out. “I just want to make it last a bit longer,” he explains, murmuring the words in the crook of your jaw and neck before pressing a kiss there.

He pushes himself away from you and sits up on his bed, his back against the headboard. He looks at you with a lopsided smile, and when you position yourself on his lap, you take a couple moments to admire him before taking him again. His hairline beads with sweat, his face and upper body are flushed a light red color, his breathing is quick and shallow, mouth slightly agape, and his eyelids are heavy with lust, eyes almost closed. He’s never looked so good. 

“Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?” he asks, and you smile both at the compliment and at the fact that you were thinking the same thing about him just a second ago, as if you shared each other’s exact thoughts. You shake your head, and his gaze turns loving as he brushes a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “You’re so fucking beautiful, Baby. There. Said it.”

You kiss him passionately before taking him in your hand and raising yourself on your knees to guide his tip towards your entrance, keeping eye contact with him as you sink onto his length. The new position hits even more sensitive spots and makes the two of you moan simultaneously. 

Deciding to let him rest for a bit, you start moving yourself up and down on his cock, quickly settling into a nice rhythm that doesn’t tire your legs out too much but still manages to make you see stars. You hold onto Sunghoon’s shoulders, hands sometimes grabbing onto his hair while his stay firmly planted on your ass, kneading the soft skin there. You try to hold his gaze for as long as you can, but the pleasure starts to overwhelm you and you can’t do anything but shut your eyes, head falling back as loud moans escape your lips. There’s no way you could have kept it quiet, so you’re extremely grateful that Sunghoon’s living quarters are far enough away to avoid an audience.

Despite the immense pleasure of being on top of him and of choosing your own rhythm, your thighs start to hurt after a few minutes of this. Thankfully, Sunghoon notices your decreasing pace and the way your legs falter, and takes things into his own hands, finally ready to stop edging and bring the both of you to your ends. One hand on your lower back, one arm wrapped around your shoulders, he presses your chest firmly to his, hugging you tight, and starts bucking his hips into you at a pace that has you crying out into his shoulder. Your hands find purchase in his hair, pulling tight enough to hurt at the roots. If Sunghoon stops, it might be the death of you, so even if it’s a struggle to get the words out, you want to let him know how you feel.

“Fuck, Sunghoon, right there, please don’t stop, please- oh, my God!”

The sound of your two bodies coming together is lewd, but it only adds to your bliss, and in just thirty seconds of this, the knot in your stomach breaks loose and sends your whole body trembling against Sunghoon’s. He’s not long after you, the sound of his name over and over on your tongue as you cum sending him tumbling over the edge. You feel hot tears streaming down your face at the relief of finally having come undone, and the sounds leaving your lips now are fainter, your body too weak to even make any noise. 

You stay like this for a few moments, body limp on top of his, allowing your breaths to return to normal. You’ve had two boyfriends before, and they were the only two you’d ever had sex with, so it’s not like you had already discovered everything about the joys of sex, but you knew for sure that it didn’t always feel like this, didn’t always take you to heaven and back. Usually, you’d have stood up and cleaned yourself by now, but with Sunghoon, you never want to leave this spot. Fall asleep like this, wake up like this, stay as long as you wanted like this. But after a few minutes, Sunghoon stirs and you jolt out of your daze, getting off of him, wincing slightly at the sensitivity between your legs. 

He slips from his seated position and lays on his back. You follow suit, turning your body towards the ceiling, suddenly feeling shy at the idea of touching him, of getting closer - or maybe scared that he’ll suddenly want to be left alone, or worse, never want to see you again. But all your negative thoughts dissipate when he shifts to his stomach, sliding slightly down the bed to rest his head on your chest, burying his face there, hugging your waist tight, and letting out a contented sigh. Although your heart swells at his ridiculously cute actions, to say you aren’t a bit surprised would be a lie - after seeing a leading, more dominant side to him all week, since he was the one teaching you the dance and guiding you through the moves, you had thought it would translate to the way he was in bed. Yet, he had let you do what you wanted, let you set your own pace, as much as he had himself. And now, he was perfectly happy seeking out your affection and not making you come to him. It made you appreciate him that much more.

One of your hands makes its way to his back, grazing your fingernails along the expanse of it, while the other plays gently with his hair. You fall asleep in record time, perfectly at peace and exhausted from so much exertion.

-

When you wake up a few hours later, you’re still laying on your back, and although Sunghoon has drifted away, probably due to the heat in the room, your legs are still intertwined and he’s got an arm resting on your midriff. There’s nothing to let you know the time, so you look out the window and notice with panic that the sun has started to rise, which means it must be close to six a.m. You try to shake Sunghoon awake, but he just grumbles something incoherent and hugs you tighter to him, which you absolutely would have swooned over if you didn’t need to get back to your bungalow - and so you shake him harder.

“Sunghoon, wake up!” you say, far too quietly for it to actually wake him up, but he looks so cute asleep that it’d break your heart to wake him up too harshly.

“Why…” he whines, face buried in your neck and voice coming out muffled.

“I don’t want my father to notice that I’m gone,” you say, the aftertaste of the words bitter in your mouth.

“Why, what time is it?” he asks, slowly coming to his senses.

“I’m not sure, but he never wakes up late, so I don’t wanna risk it.” Your father, needing a real break from intense work days, had started waking up at 6:45 instead of 5:30 every morning. How relaxing.

“But I want you to stay,” Sunghoon grumbles, and you bless him for speaking your own thoughts but also curse him for making it harder to leave.

“I know, so do I. But I’ll see you later, okay?”

A beat. “Fine,” he sighs, then pushes himself off of you. He doesn’t look at you while you put your clothes back on and walk out of the room, but you know he can’t have fallen asleep again so quickly, so you’re terrified of having said or done something extremely wrong, but you can’t take it back now, so you just close the door behind you and rush back to your own bed.

The breakfast table is completely silent, the tension between you and your father clear to your mother, who doesn’t say anything, scared of accidentally adding fuel to the fire, and even to your sister, who eats her grapefruit quietly, darting her eyes back and forth between the three of you. Jay shows up from only God knows where and, not even trying to read the room, asks cheerfully what you’re all planning on performing at the show.

“We won’t be at the show,” your father says, making everyone’s heads snap towards him. “We’re leaving tomorrow morning, miss the weekend traffic.”

“We haven’t discussed this, honey,” your mother says just as Seeun whines, “But Daddy, we’ll miss the show!” You keep quiet, pretending the overcooked scrambled eggs on your plate are the most interesting thing you’ve ever seen. 

“It’s the biggest night of the season!” Jay chimes in, also trying to persuade him.

“Yeah, and I wanted to sing something!” your sister adds.

Your father looks back and forth between your mother’s and sister’s bewildered faces, then sighs and begrudgingly bows to their wishes. “Alright, alright, it was just an idea.”

A smile breaks on your mother’s face and Seeun clasps her hands together with a small noise of joy. “Perfect,” Jay exclaims, pointing a finger at you as he walks away. “Baby, I’ll need you for props.”

“So, Seeun, what songs do you have in mind?” your father asks and gets up, gesturing at your sister to follow him, although he looks completely uninterested. She practically jumps up from her seat and starts listing all her song ideas, leaving her half-finished breakfast behind.

You finish eating your own, making small talk with your mother for long enough so that she isn’t suspicious of your trying to escape, although you can tell she knows something is up and just won’t mention it. You thank her silently for it, and excuse yourself from the table to go check up on Chaewon.

When you get to her room, she’s still in bed, but isn’t sleeping and doesn’t look in pain anymore - she’s sitting up, flicking through a fashion magazine. She smiles brightly when she sees you at her door, discarding the magazine and extending her hands out to you.

“How are you feeling?” you ask as you take her hands in yours, crouching next to her bed.

“Much, much better,” she says, sounding relieved at her own answer. “You just missed your father. He’s an amazing man.”

You only have time to talk for a minute when the door opens once again to reveal Sunghoon. Seeing him creates a pit in your stomach, either from the memory of what you did last night or from the way you had to escape soon thereafter. You stand up straight, taking a few steps away from Chaewon. He looks at you briefly before turning his attention to her, and asks the same question you did moments prior.

“I’m feeling a lot better. Baby’s father says I’m still able to have children.”

“That’s great, Chaewon, that’s amazing,” Sunghoon says, sounding relieved.

“But what about you guys? How did the show go last night?” she asks, a hopeful expression on her face.

Sunghoon glances at you, and you avoid his gaze as best you can. “It went well,” he simply says, not explaining any further. 

“Yeah, I didn’t do the lifts, but other than that it went well.”

Chaewon looks at him, then at you, and all at once notices the awkward tension in the air - and she understands the situation as clearly as if it had been written out in black and white for her.

It’s silent for a few seconds until you speak. “Well, I guess I better go then… I’ll see you around.” You give Chaewon a small smile and head to the door, letting your eyes linger on Sunghoon before slipping out. But of course, you can’t actually bring yourself to leave, and sit on the stairs a few meters away from the door. From where you are, you can hear every word spoken inside the cabin.

“Sunghoon,” Chaewon starts.

“So, you’re feeling better, huh?”

“Sunghoon.”

“But you should still get some rest, right?”

“Sunghoon, stop it.” That shuts him up. “What are you doing? You’ve told me so many times not to get mixed up with them,” she says, sounding at once worried and reproachful.

“I know what I’m doing, alright?”

“Sunghoon, listen to me you gotta stop it, you know it’s not gonna end well-”

“I said I know what I’m doing,” he snaps, but seems to immediately regret it. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Chaewon, I just- you’re in no position to be worrying about me right now. I know what I’m doing. I trust her.” There’s a small silence, and you have no idea what expression Chaewon must be wearing right now. Is she unsure, satisfied, worried, angry? Is she nodding, trying to respect his decision, or looking like Sunghoon’s making the biggest mistake of his life? “I’ve gotta go, but I’ll see you later, alright? Rest up.”

“Alright, see you later, Hoon,” she says quietly, and when Sunghoon opens the door, he finds you waiting for him. You stand up and just look at him, unsure how to express what’s on your mind. You’d completely forgotten everything you had meant to tell him.

“Oh, hey, Baby,” he says upon seeing you.

“Hey.”

You both just stand there, staring at each other, no idea how to start the much-needed conversation.

“Look, I’ve got a uh, a lesson I need to go to right now, so…” he trails off.

“Right, right, no problem,” you say, nodding far too vigorously.

“But I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah, you will.”

Neither of you move for a few moments, and you feel like you’re completely stuck in place, unable to move until you’ve had the reassurance that things can stay as they were between you and Sunghoon. But he walks past you, already a few meters away when you gather the courage to call out his name, and he turns around so quickly, you dare to hope he might have been waiting for you to do so. You don’t say anything, you just smile, and hope he understands. He smiles back, an actual smile where his dimples appear and the corners of his eyes crinkle, and you know that for now at least, everything is okay.

-

“God, I am so sick of this rain,” your sister complains as she dabs powder on her face, covering up non-existent blemishes. All four of you are in the living room of your bungalow, resting after lunch and getting ready for the rest of the day. You and your father play a boring game of checkers, trying to make the tension disappear slowly, while your mother reads some detective novel.

“Where is my beige iridescent lipstick?” Seeun asks furiously, punctuating each of her words, as if that was the kind of everyday thing that lies about in everyone’s house.

Your father wins the game and looks relieved that it’s over more than anything. You pick up a light raincoat and head towards the door, but your mother calls out your name, stopping you in your tracks.

“Where are you going in this weather?” she asks with curiosity rather than wariness in her voice.

“They’re playing charades in the main lobby,” you reply casually, used to giving out random excuses by now.

“Quite the little joiner, are we?” your sister teases, and you’re not sure if she’s just making fun of you or if she knows you’re up to something but you ignore her anyway and walk out of the cabin.

You make your way to Sunghoon’s place as quickly as you can to avoid the rain. You had ran into him that morning and, when your parents weren’t looking, he let you know that he was free all afternoon with a smile that was as good as a spoken invitation.

He brings you into a hug as soon as you’ve closed the door behind you and presses a kiss to the top of your head, murmuring an apology into your hair. “I’m sorry I acted so awkwardly yesterday. You left so suddenly that night, and I was scared you regretted it…”

You lean back and gaze into his eyes. “I regret absolutely nothing, Sunghoon.”

He breathes out a relieved sigh, smiling as he nods. “Good. Me either.”

You press your lips to his, and although the kiss starts out slow and soft, it doesn’t take long for things to heat up. You let out a small yelp when Sunghoon lifts you up and carries you to the bed, laying you down gently on the mattress. He holds up to the promise he’d made the other night - namely, making you cum on his tongue and fingers as much as you want, or rather, as you soon find out, as much as he wants.

He starts by undressing you slowly, taking his time to revel in the sight of your naked body and the idea that it’s all for him. He only leaves your panties on, rubbing small circles over your clothed clit as he works his mouth on your nipples and breasts, paying each side its due attention. He then makes his way down, leaving warm kisses everywhere he can from your stomach to your inner thighs, and makes sure to work you up and have you squirming before actually slipping your panties off and giving you what you want. Once he’s wrapped his lips around your clit, it’s like he can’t get enough. With two fingers inside you, he sucks and licks at the sensitive bud for what feels like so long that you don’t know how his wrist and jaw don’t get tired. You don’t even try to count the number of times he makes you cum, simply taking every orgasm in stride, and even though you get so sensitive after a while, you’ve entered some sort of blissful, exhausted daze that you can’t bring yourself to break away from.

Afterwards, you’re lying next to Sunghoon, your head resting on his chest and grazing your fingernails up and down his arm while he plays with your hair. You’ve somehow managed not to fall asleep despite the tiredness filling your entire body, and you and Sunghoon talk quietly, the sound of the rain outside like a peaceful background song. You listen to him describe his dream of opening a dance school someday and choreographing professionally, then he listens as you talk about all the places you want to visit and the things you want to learn about the world. You share childhood memories and awkward first kiss anecdotes and compare your relationships with your parents and the similar sort of pressure they put on your shoulders, albeit for two very reasons.

“My dad especially, he just doesn’t understand that dancing can be an actual profession. He sees it as some kind of hobby I’ve had since I was a teenager and that it’ll pass soon when I realize I can’t make a living out of it. He completely ignores the fact I get paid more in three months here than in half-a-year with him, but he doesn’t mind taking the part of my salary I give our family when I come back, that’s for sure,” he chuckles humorlessly. “I’m scared he’ll think I’m betraying him if I don’t take up his carpentry business.”

“I was top of my class in elementary school, and my parents thought that meant I was the brightest little girl in the world and would grow up to achieve great things,” you explain in a joke-admirative voice. “And even if they tried not to say anything, I could see the disappointment on their faces when I brought home a B or was ranked third at a test. I’m happy I got into Yale, and that they can afford to pay for my studies, but it’s just gonna be even more pressure for four more years.” After a beat, you decide to add, “I can only forget about all of this when I’m with you. You just make all of my worries disappear for a while.”

The conversation takes a slightly sentimental tone as you tell each other what your first impression of the other was. You admit sheepishly to Sunghoon that you were attracted to him as soon as you saw him dancing with Chaewon that first night, and that you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him after he danced with you, even though you found him a bit of an asshole the first couple of days he taught you the dance. You tell him you were sure he hated you at first, and he reveals that he didn’t at all.

“But I can see why you thought that. I just… I had never met anyone like you, Baby. Someone who thought she could just show up somewhere and decide to help a stranger out for no other reason than to help them out of the kindness of their heart. I didn’t know if you were the most foolish or the bravest person ever. And yeah, I’ll admit, I wasn’t the nicest to you at first. I kinda have this thing against… against rich people, I guess,” he says, chuckling softly. “For me, a wealthy person is like Max, or Jay, or all those ladies here. They use their wealth to get you to do what you want. But you’re not like that, and it took me a while to understand that. I’m sorry,” he finishes, pressing another kiss to your hair.

“No, no, it’s okay… I’m sorry they’ve all treated you like that. You deserve better.” He thanks you quietly and a comfortable silence settles between the two of you for a few minutes and you’re close to falling asleep when Sunghoon calls out your name.

“Hm?”

“What’s your real name?”

You raise your head to look at him and flash him a big smile. It’s been ages since someone asked you that, most people not bothering to question your nickname.

“It’s Y/N.”

“Y/N…” he echoes, gazing at you lovingly. “It fits you perfectly.”

You press a gentle kiss to his lips in response, and you think it’s gonna end at that, but Sunghoon pulls you back in right as you’re about to lean out, and you know you’re done for. You’re still extremely sensitive but that only adds to the pleasure of him filling you up, intertwining your fingers with him as you make love, his thrusts slow but deep and your bodies pressed flush against each other. Your heart is bursting with something that you can only recognize as love.

-

That night, as you’re on the verge of falling asleep, your sister says something that jolts you awake.

“I’ve decided to go all the way with Heeseung,” she says, a hint of a smile in her voice. 

You snap your head towards her. “What? Seeun, no, you shouldn’t-”

“I’ve already thought about everything. I want it to happen on the night of rehearsals, I know what I’ll wear-”

“No, Seeun, listen, you can’t do it with Heeseung, I’ve already told you he’s bad news!” you whisper-scream, trying to get some sense into her head without your parents overhearing.

“Who else with, then?” she whisper-shouts back.

“Just- I don’t know, but not with him, it needs to be with someone you actually love, someone you can trust-”

“I can trust Heeseung. I do trust him - more than I trust you, actually,” she says, the conversation taking another turn.

“Seeun-”

“No, Baby. You don’t actually care about this, or even about me. All you care about is that you’re not Daddy’s little girl anymore. He listens when I talk now.” She turns her back to you with a huff.

“Seeun-” you try again, but she’s already done talking.

“Goodnight.”

You want to find a way to stop your sister from wasting an important experience like having sex for the first time on a guy like Heeseung, but you also know that once she’s set her mind to something, it’s hard to stop Seeun from doing it. Maybe this will be a lesson for her to learn from, you think, trying to reassure yourself.

The next afternoon, when your parents are busy playing cards with another couple and Seeun is off somewhere with her friends, you sneak off to visit Sunghoon in his dance classroom. He has an hour free in between classes and you use that opportunity to mess around for a bit. You put on a song you both love and dance together whichever way you want, acting out and lipsyncing to the lyrics. You have fun teasing him by swerving your head when he leans in for a kiss or trailing your hand along his arms, shoulders and back.

The sound of loud footsteps coming up the stairs spoils your fun, and you quickly position yourself face to the mirror and pretend you’re practicing basic mambo moves while Sunghoon heads to the record player. The one and only Jay stands at the door and seems to falter for a second at seeing you here.

“Hey, Baby, taking dance lessons?” You simply nod at him. “I could teach you kid,” he says, mirroring your moves and dancing a few steps until Sunghoon makes the record scratch, stopping the music abruptly. Jay’s arms drop to the side and he gives you a look as if to say “check this guy out,” and you try not to roll your eyes at him. 

“Sunghoon,” he says, walking towards him with all the confidence of a boss talking to his employee. The addressee simply raises his chin at him, pretending to busy himself with the record player. “My grandfather put me in charge of the talent show, and I’ve been thinking about the final dance. I’d like to uh, you know, do something different-”

“Yeah?”

“Move with the times-”

“Yeah? That’s great, I’ve got plenty of ideas-” Sunghoon says, speaking so quickly he cuts himself off, but Jay’s smile drops instantly. “We’ve been working on something with the staff, it goes like-”

You watch in the mirror as Sunghoon dances a step you’ve never seen before, and it looks really cool but Jay shakes his head, gesturing at Sunghoon to quiet down like he would a kid, as if they weren’t the exact same age.

“Woah there, you’re way over your head, boy.” Sunghoon stands up straight once again, jaw locked tight. “I was thinking, instead of doing the last dance to the mambo, how about, this year, doing it to the pachanga?” Jay asks, looking at you with a smile and nodding, as if he’d just said the most revolutionary thing ever.

“Right,” Sunghoon says coldly, bursting Jay’s bubble.

“Well,” he says, clearing his throat, “you’re more than welcome to do the same tired number as the previous years, but I’m sure that next summer, we’ll find a dance instructor who’s-”

“The pachanga,” Sunghoon cuts him off, raising his voice over Jay’s. “Great idea, Jay, let’s do that.”

A satisfied smile grows on Jay’s lips as Sunghoon turns back to the record player, and he struts back towards you. When he’s close enough, he leans in and says conspiratorially, but still loud enough for Sunghoon to hear, “He’s, uh, a bit hard to get through to sometimes, but the ladies seem to like him.” He doesn’t realize that you’re one of said ladies. “Make sure you’re getting the full half-hour you’re paying, kid,” he says once he’s at the door, and slips out on that graceful note.

Sunghoon’s next class takes place on the gazebo, so you accompany him there, trying to keep up with his long strides made quicker by his frustration. “God, I just hate that guy, he has no idea what he’s talking about. He wouldn’t recognise a good idea if it hit him in the pachanga,” he huffs angrily.

“But can’t you just talk to him? I’m sure he’d listen if you’d just tell him-”

“Didn’t you see what happened, Baby? He won’t listen. I can’t get everything I want just by asking, he’s the one with the money, with the power, I can’t do anything-”

“But it isn’t right! You have to fight harder-”

“That’s not how it works for me, Baby-”

You let out a small gasp, interrupting Sunghoon whose head pivots towards you, but you take him by the shoulders and bring him down to a crouch next to you. He follows your gaze to find your father, leaving a building with Heeseung and Seeun. Your dad brings his arm around Heeseung and shakes his shoulder in a fatherly manner while Seeun looks at them with a smile. 

Sunghoon’s muscles tense in realization - you don’t want to be caught with him, especially not by your father. 

You’re completely oblivious to this, and stand back up when the three of them are out of sight. “Alright, I think they’re gone,” you say, and only realize what you’ve done when you see the tight expression on Sunghoon’s face.

“Fight harder, huh?”

You just messed up real bad. “No, Sunghoon, I was planning on telling him, I just haven’t yet-”

“I don’t believe you, Baby. I don’t think you’ve ever had the intention of telling him,” he says, shaking his head. His eyes look down at you harshly, and it hurts so much more now than when you’d just met. 

“Sunghoon, please-”

“I gotta go. I’ll see you later, Y/N.”

You watch Sunghoon’s shrinking figure, cursing yourself for your cowardice and for your inability to do exactly what you preach. Your father was already so disappointed in you for simply being friends with Sunghoon, so if he knew what you were actually up to, he might go and disown you.

A few hours with no one to spend them with get you thinking. You had always thought your father was the best man on earth. Funny, loving, kind, fair. But you now realize it might not be so - he is prejudiced towards people who aren’t like him and isn’t forgiving of others’ mistakes. He made you believe in a world where everyone should be equal, but he himself doesn’t treat everyone the same. 

You also hate what this is doing to Sunghoon. You, who had told him he deserved everything he wanted, weren’t even capable of holding his hand proudly for everyone to see. So, for Sunghoon’s sake as well as for your own, you have to tell your father how you feel for Sunghoon, and put up a fight if he tries to stop it.

But first, you had to find Sunghoon and apologize. It’s nearing dinnertime, and he shouldn’t be working anymore, so you go look for him in his room. He isn’t there, so you head to his dance studio, then the gazebo, and anywhere else you can think of where he might have classes. But he’s nowhere to find, and after half-an-hour of running around, your last option is to go ask Chaewon where Sunghoon might be. At least, you know she’ll be in her room, still recovering.

You take a second to catch your breath then knock on Chaewon’s door, then wait until she calls you in to open the door. “Hey, Chaewon, have you seen Sunghoon?” you ask, only realizing after you’ve said the words that it might be rude to be so direct, but you don’t have time to apologize because your eyes shift to the other person in the room, who is, of course, Sunghoon himself. He stands up from his seat on the armchair in the corner, looking at you with an unreadable expression. He could be anywhere on a scale where one extreme is ‘he hates you and never wants to talk to you again’ and ‘he has never been so relieved to see you’ and you’d have no idea.

“Can we, um, talk? Outside, if it’s okay?” you ask, eyes darting back and forth between Sunghoon and Chaewon. She smiles and jerks her head towards the door, silently telling Sunghoon to go with you. He purses his lips and nods, following you outside and closing the door behind him.

He rests his palms on the banister of the front porch, looking out at the lawn and the resort buildings in the distance. You stand behind him, bringing your palms up to his arms and kissing his shoulder. He closes his eyes and sighs, basking in your touch despite himself. “I’m sorry, Sunghoon. I’m sorry.” 

He turns around, gazing down at you with that unreadable expression on his face. “It’s okay. I understand.”

When he kisses you, the relief in your bones is like nothing else, better even than coming home to your bed after a long, tiring day, or than getting a good grade on a test you thought you’d failed. Your arms wrap around his neck while his find their way to your waist, and you revel in the closeness of your bodies and the taste of his lips, like mint and something uniquely Sunghoon that you can’t ever get enough of.

But unfortunately, you stay long enough in this position to attract the attention of a one-man audience. “Damn, guess I picked the wrong sister,” you hear Heeseung chuckle, and when you pull away from Sunghoon, you see that insufferable smirk on his face. How you wish you could just smack it off of there. “Didn’t know you put out like that, Baby.”

It all happens so quickly, you don’t have time to understand what’s going on, let alone stop Sunghoon from jumping over the banister. He stomps over to Heeseung, grabbing him by the collar and shaking hard. 

“Repeat what you just said, I dare you,” he says in a low, menacing voice, face close to Heeseung’s. The latter’s smirk falters for just a split second before coming back, as if incapable of not looking like an arrogant asshole for more than a few seconds at a time.

“I said,” Heeseung starts, “that I hadn’t thought Baby was so fucking easy.”

Heeseung has barely finished speaking that Sunghoon has raised his fist back, ready to strike the insolent expression off of the boy’s face. It’d be satisfying, that’s for sure, but it wouldn’t be worth risking his job, so you call out his name and make him stop in his tracks. He doesn’t look back at you, though, just keeps his hard gaze fixated on Heeseung, breathing heavily in anger.

“Sunghoon, please,” you repeat, pleading with him. 

“So, what’s it gonna be, loverboy?” Heeseung teases, but Sunghoon just drops his fist and pushes him away, making him stumble a few steps back. 

“You’re not worth it,” Sunghoon practically spits, sending one last cold look his way before walking back to you.

You don’t care enough to check how Heeseung reacts, just watching Sunghoon make his way back to you, relieved nothing happened. He stands in front of the banister, the height difference allowing you to hug his head to your chest and you press a kiss to the top of his head, whispering in his hair that you’re proud of him.

Soon afterwards, you have to head back to the building where the talent show will happen. He could do it anywhere else, but Sunghoon decides to plan out his performance in the same room, using the excuse of needing to see the stage just to stay around you. 

You’re painting some sort of fake coconut tree while competitors rehearse their performance, your sister by far the loudest of them. You try not to cringe as her dissonant voice reverbs around the room, but nobody pays her too much attention. It’s hard not to steal glances every two seconds at Sunghoon, and you tell yourself that he just looks especially good today in his tight black t-shirt and black jeans, but you also know he looks good everyday. His gaze also strays towards you more often than not, and you try not to burst into giggles every time your eyes meet, not wanting to raise any suspicion. 

This room is also where a group of men play their games of poker, and since it was big enough to host all of you, they had decided to stay there even through the preparations, sure that it wouldn’t disrupt their game. 

The not-staring takes on another level of difficulty when a lady you recognize as Vivian Kim leaves her spot standing behind her husband at the poker table to make her way to Sunghoon, walking in a fashion far too languorous for your taste. 

From where you are, you can’t hear exactly what she says, but it’s not hard to guess - an invitation to spend the night with her while her husband is busy, one last time before she leaves the resort and goes home.

Sunghoon stays silent but that doesn’t seem to deter her, and she flashes him a lurid smile before walking back to the poker table. He turns his head to check if you’ve seen what happened, but you look away from him and back at your coconut tree, hoping the jealousy you’re feeling isn’t written all over your face. 

Vivian’s husband calls out Sunghoon’s name, waving him over good-naturedly. You watch once again as Sunghoon walks over to the table and as Mr Kim pulls out dollar bills from his wallet. “Tonight’s the final poker tournament, so how about some dance lessons for my wife?” he asks, and you can’t tell from his tone whether he thinks that dance lessons really are what his money is paying for or if he knows what’s actually going on.

Sunghoon takes the money and Mr Kim smiles at him, returning to the game, but Sunghoon just stands there, staring at the bills in his hands, then to Vivian, behind him to you, and finally back at Mr Kim. “Thanks, Mr Kim, but I’m all booked up for the rest of the week ‘cause of the show, so I don’t think it’d be fair to take the money.”

Mr Kim nods as Sunghoon hands him back the cash, saying he appreciates his honesty. Vivian looks at him, eyes wide, obviously surprised at his sudden refusal. Sunghoon walks back to his seat, sending a small smile your way, and you try your best not to gloat. 

-

In the past few days, it’s become a bit of a habit to sneak out of your bungalow and rush to Sunghoon’s when your family has gone to sleep. Except tonight, what you don’t know is that Seeun hears you, because she’s planning on doing the exact same thing and paying Heeseung a visit. You’re already with your own lover when she heads out of the room, skipping in excitement and anticipation the whole way there. She’s applied lotion to her entire body, sprayed perfume to her neck, wrists and ankles, and has read all the sex advice columns of her favorite magazines - she’s more than prepared for this.

She reaches the door. Takes a deep breath in, stands up straight. Calls out, “Heeseung, it’s me!” but no answer comes. So she opens the door slightly, and almost drops her bag at the sight in front of her, gasping loudly. She has just enough reflex to close the door again and rest her back against it, taking a few seconds to let it sink in before running back to her bed, where she promptly explodes into tears.

Now more than ever, she wishes her sister was here, whether to comfort her or to say “I told you so.” She wishes you were here to help her make sense of finding Vivian Kim and Heeseung naked together in his bed when he had spent weeks making her believe he wanted to be with her and her only. She wishes you would curse him out and call him all the names she wants to but doesn’t have the courage to.

But unfortunately, you’re not there with her. Instead, you’re with Sunghoon, laying together in bed, your head resting on his chest and your legs intertwined. You’re both spent from a night of lovemaking and from your shower that was supposed to be innocent but quickly turned steamy. You wake up at dawn, knowing you’ll have to go soon but heart breaking at the thought of tearing yourself from Sunghoon’s warm embrace. You press soft kisses to his neck and whisper his name, trying to wake him up gently. His eyes stay closed as he tightens his arms around you and pleads with you to stay just a little bit longer, and you’re not strong enough to say no.

“I had a dream earlier where your father called me ‘son’ and put his arm around me like he did with Heeseung earlier.” His morning voice is raspy from sleep and sends butterflies straight to your stomach.

“I’m sorry, Sunghoon,” you hum. “I’ll talk to him today. I’ll tell him about you.”

You feel his chest rise up then down as he sighs. “I thought about it, and I feel like it’d make things even worse if he knew about us. He just seems to think I’m a bad guy, for some reason, and me being with his daughter will only make him hate me more.”

“But you’re not a bad guy. You’re the best guy,” you say, voice slightly whiny. You’re too sleepy to come up with a better reply, and it makes Sunghoon chuckle.

“Thanks, Baby.” He presses a kiss to your hair, and it’s become such a familiar gesture that you’re not sure how you’ll live without it once you go home.

It’s not long before you have to head back to your bungalow, and Sunghoon walks you outside, slotting his lips with yours for one last time this morning and making plans to meet up later. You don’t pay attention to anything other than him - not to the slight breeze picking up, or the sun rising, or the staff bungalows, off to the side from Sunghoon’s. But not paying attention means not noticing a figure standing on one of those staff bungalows, not seeing her eyes squinting at yours and Sunghoon’s embrace, first recognising him, and, once her initial shock wears off, recognising you. Because of course, just like you, Vivian Kim has to leave Heeseung’s bungalow before anyone notices - except that in your case, someone notices you.

And the consequences of it appear only a few hours later, as your family are having a late breakfast with Max and Jay. When the conversation first begins, you don’t think it’ll be of much importance to you.

“You know that feeling when you look at a patient and think he’s all fine, but then you get his x-rays and something’s completely wrong?” Max starts, addressing your father. “That’s exactly what it is to find out one of your staff, a trusted one at that, is a thief.”

“What happened, Max?” your father asks, eyebrows furrowed.

“Mr Kim’s wallet was stolen,” Max simply says, sighing. Jay jumps on the opportunity to explain the story himself, leaning in conspiratorially.

“It happened yesterday night when he was playing poker. One minute, his wallet was right there in his coat pocket, hanging on his chair behind him, and the next, it wasn’t.” Your sister lets out a small gasp.

“Vivian says she saw that dance kid Sunghoon walk by,” Max continues, and your head snaps up at the mention of Sunghoon’s name. “So we go and ask him if he’s got an alibi, and he says he was in his room alone all night, reading.”

Jay snorts. “There is not a single book in Sunghoon Park’s room.”

The whole time, you’re shaking your head slightly, unable to believe that Sunghoon might be wrongfully framed for this. You turn towards Jay, a pleading expression on your face. “Listen, there’s been a mistake, there’s no way Sunghoon did it-”

“There’s been similar thefts at the Sheldrake and even here. Three wallets stolen, and now Mr Kim’s!”

“No, I know he didn’t do it-”

“Stay out of it, Baby!” Jay snaps at you. You look at him in disbelief, because of the way he just talked to you, because of what they’re accusing Sunghoon of, but above all because it’s inconceivable that your parents ever wanted to set you up with a guy like him. Entitled, judgmental, unkind.

But you can’t just stay out of it - this concerns Sunghoon, and if you can stop it from happening, you’ll do everything so that he doesn’t lose his job over a false accusation. So you turn towards your father and Max, and plead Sunghoon’s case.

“I know Sunghoon didn’t take Mr Kim’s wallet, I know.”

“How can you be so sure?” your father asks.

“I-I can’t tell you, but Daddy, please, you have to trust me.”

Your father sighs, turning his attention back to his plate. “I’m sorry, Baby, but I can’t.”

“But- it could’ve been anyone else,” you continue, looking at Max now that your father avoids your gaze. “Maybe it was- oh, maybe it was that little old couple, the Schumachers, I saw her with a couple of wallets-”

“The Schumachers? Impossible,” Max refutes as your father furrows his eyebrows at you, raising his voice slightly.

“You don’t go around accusing innocent people, Baby!”

“But I saw them, I saw them at the Sheldrake- you said something was stolen at the Sheldrake, right?” you say, turning towards Jay again, your voice growing desperate.”

“Listen, Baby,” Max cuts in, voice calm but firm, “I’ve got an eyewitness and the kid has no alibi. Come on, Jay, let me show you how to fire an employee.”

You catch his wrist before he can turn away and gulp, preparing yourself for what you were about to say. “Wait a minute. I know Sunghoon didn’t do it, I know it, because he was in his room all night, and I know that because,” you pause for a second, risking a glance at your father, “because I was there with him.”

The table goes silent. You can feel yourself weighing down under the heavy gazes of everyone seated. After a few seconds that feel like an eternity, Max clears his throat and awkwardly says, “Right, well, we’ll investigate some more in light of these news-”

He’s cut off by the screech of your father’s chair being roughly pushed back. You watch as your father leaves the room, steam coming out of his ears, and you can only hope revealing the truth will be worth it in the end.

After giving your father some time to cool off, you find him in the empty gazebo, looking out at the lake. The water is still except for the parts where ducks dip their heads in and back out. Even now that the rain has stopped pouring every day, clouds still render the sky a blinding white, and the sun only appears now and then when they part enough to let a ray through. There’s a slight breeze that makes leaves flutter around, and you need to tighten your light cardigan around your shoulders.

You know he sees you approaching, but he keeps his gaze fixated on the lake, even when you call out to him. 

“I told you I wasn’t lying about Sunghoon,” you start. “But I’m sorry I lied about the money. I’m not proud of myself for that, you know. But you lied too,” you say, and he finally looks at you, awaiting an explanation. “You told me everyone deserved a fair break, but you meant everyone like you. You said I could change the world, but you meant by becoming a lawyer, or an economist, and marrying someone from Harvard!”

He closes his eyes as if in pain, then looks back out to the lake, staying silent. “I made a mistake. There’s things about me you don’t know, and things you might not like, but I’m in this family too, and if you love me, you’ll have to love my faults too.” Your voice shakes and your eyes start to water. Seeing your father’s eyes do the same only adds to the difficulty of saying what you want to say.

“Because I love you, Daddy, and I’m sorry I let you down, but you let me down too!” Your voice completely breaks on those last words, and you turn away, letting your feet guide you wherever before your dad can hear the sob that escapes your throat. You know your dad’s silent treatment won’t last for long, so you leave him in the gazebo to think and cry as much as he needs to.

Your body must have developed new instincts, because soon enough, you find yourself in Sunghoon’s cabin, unsure how you even got here. His things are still there, which reassures you of the fact that he hasn’t left yet. You pace back and forth in the room for a few minutes until your emotions suddenly come crashing down, all the stress and tension and strung feelings, leaving behind only exhaustion. You lay on Sunghoon’s bed, thinking you’ll just close your eyes for a few minutes. But when you open them again, they fall on Sunghoon’s face, and you have no idea how long you’ve been there.

“Sunghoon?” you murmur.

“I have been looking for you all over,” he says, crouching in front of you, and gives you time to sit up and rub the sleep out of your eyes. “You were right about the Schumachers. Fingerprinted their glasses. Turns out they were wanted in a bunch of other states for theft too. They found them when they were already trying to leave the resort,” he explains, and your smile grows wider and wider as he speaks. 

“Oh my God, that’s amazing! I knew it’d work out!”

But Sunghoon diverts his gaze down, unable to match your euphoric expression. “I’m out, Baby.”

You quickly put two and two together. “They fired you anyway because of me.” 

“And if I leave quietly, I get my summer bonus,” he says sarcastically.

Your anger makes you stand up, walk to one corner of the room then back, your voice rising on its own accord. “So I did it all for nothing, then? I hurt my family, you lost your job anyway - it was all for nothing!”

“It was not for nothing!” Sunghoon exclaims, volume matching yours. “Nobody has ever done anything like that for me!” He searches your eyes for the reassurance that everything that happened this summer was worth it, but he only finds sorrow in them.

“You were right, Sunghoon,” you say with a sad smile, voice lowering to a hum, “you can’t change anything no matter how hard you try.”

“No, Baby,” he says, walking towards you, “I don’t want that from you, you hear me? You can. You can do whatever you want.”

Your gazes stay locked in each other for a few painful moments until it becomes unbearable and you have to look away. “I used to think so too.”

There’s nothing left to say. You watch silently as Sunghoon begins packing the few belongings he has in two small suitcases and a rucksack, then help out when the passivity starts to make your muscles ache. He hasn’t got much, so he’s done in just a few minutes, and you don’t realize you have tears pooling in your eyes until Sunghoon himself notices and wordlessly takes you in his arms.

You’re heading to his car when he suddenly stops in his tracks, saying he has something he needs to do first. You don’t question it, just agree to wait for him. It’s not like you’ve got anything better to do anyway.

A few minutes later, unbeknownst to you, Sunghoon is knocking on your cabin’s door. Just as he’d hoped, your father is the one to open the door, squinting his eyes meanly at the young man behind it as soon as he realizes who he is. Your father stays silent as he stares Sunghoon down, making a chill run down Sunghoon’s neck. He clears his throat before speaking. “Doctor, I-” he starts, already cutting himself off to take off his sunglasses. “I’m going anyway, and I know what you must be thinking-”

“You don’t know anything about me,” your father interrupts, shaking his head in disdain at Sunghoon. “Anything at all.”

Sunghoon had really wanted to stay calm and focused, to just say what he wanted to stay, but now that he’s leaving, he has no reason to put up with the blatant disrespect and contempt of the clients and higher-ups any longer. “I know you want Baby to be like you. An admirable person, the kind people look up to, but if you could just see, she’s already like that-”

“I know my daughter far better than you do, so don’t you tell me what to see,” your father practically barks, unable to contain his anger. “What I see right now is someone who got his partner in trouble and sent her off to some butcher, then moved on to a younger, innocent girl like my Baby.”

Rather than frustrated, Sunghoon’s eyes grow tired and sad. There’s no fight left in him anymore - he can see he won’t be able to change your father’s mind, there’s no point even trying. “Yeah, I guess that’s what you would see,” he murmurs before walking away, back to you, the only person who’s ever wanted to truly understand him.

And then it’s goodbye. 

While you were waiting, you kicked pebbles, brooding over the fact that your already shortening time with Sunghoon was getting cut off even more. But as soon as you see him, those thoughts evaporate, and you’re left with bittersweetness in your mouth. You spent the most incredible summer with him by your side, and even though it’s coming to an end, maybe the experience and the memories are all that matters.

Sunghoon closes the trunk when he’s done packing it, and walks over to where you’re standing, back against the passenger door, arms crossed over your chest. He rests his forearm on top of the car and neither of you are able to look the other in the eye for fear of emotion overwhelming you.

“Guess we took them all by surprise, huh?” you say, trying on a light-hearted tone to dissolve the tension in the air.

“Guess we did,” he chuckles quietly, risking a glance up at you. Your eyes meet and before you can break down, you turn your body towards his, nesting your face in the crook of his neck. He presses a kiss to your hair like a hundred times before and it’s enough to make your heart break. 

“I don’t know what I’ll do without you around.”

He rests his chin on the top of your head. “You’ll just have more time for card games and croquet,” he jokes, but you can’t laugh. “And Jake and Chaewon will still be around.” It’s silent for a few more minutes, and you try to commit the feeling of him against you and the smell of his skin to memory. “I’ll never be sorry,” he finally says, voice muffled by your hair.

“Neither will I,” you whisper against his neck.

He inhales deeply and tears himself away, gazing down at you sadly. With his thumb, he wipes a tear as it drops down your cheek, and presses his lips to yours in one last kiss, tasting the saltiness of your heartbreak. “I’ll see you around, Baby,” he says against your lips, forehead resting against yours. But he can’t linger - it would only make this impossible moment even harder.

Your vision is too blurry for you to see properly as he walks to the other side of the car and disappears in the driver’s seat. In a matter of seconds, his car becomes a fuzzy black dot in the distance, and you’ve no choice but to walk back to the place that made you discover love only to rip it from your hands.

-

The three days until the talent show feel like eternity. Counting down the minutes until you leave doesn’t make time go by any faster, but you don’t feel like doing anything else. You hang out with Chaewon and Jake and their friends when they’re free, going back with them to the staff main quarters one night, and even though the music is the same as the first time, Sunghoon’s absence changes everything. You can’t dance without imagining his hands on your waist and his voice guiding you through the steps. 

Seeun is also a lot nicer to you. She tells you what happened with Heeseung, and it’s like your shared love troubles bring you closer, reminding you that you’re not so different after all. As you get ready to go watch the talent show, she sits next to you on the bed, offering to do your hair. But then she takes a strand of it in her hands, trailing her fingers through it, and looks at you with a soft smile. “You know what, I think it looks perfect just like that.” 

You mirror her smile and drop your head to her shoulder. You stay like this for a few seconds, words unnecessary to understand each other. “You’ll do great tonight, Seeun. I can’t wait to watch you.”

“I know,” she replies, making you both giggle. “Now let’s go, it’ll start soon.”

You’re not surprised to see that your parents have chosen to seat you in a corner, trapped between a wall and your father. Practically the same thing, you think, but you’re wise enough to keep the comment to yourself. 

The performers have gathered in a line on the stage, your sister included, to sing the resort’s last day song as a conclusion to the show now that Sunghoon isn’t here to do the final dance. Max even gets his own solo. The song goes on for far too long to your taste, so you take the time to look around the room.

The lights are dim, save for the ones on the stage so that the focus of the audience stays on the performers, and wall fixtures next to the exits so they can be found easily. Chairs have been brought to the center of the room right in front of the stage while tables line the walls, candles adorning each one. Staff don’t get seats - instead, they stand at the back of the room, their backs against the wall as they watch the stage with boredom written all over their faces. You catch Jake’s eyes and he winks at you, a mischievous smile on his face, and you chalk it up to his usual playfulness.

Heeseung walks near your table, and your father stands up, calling out to him. He gets something that looks like an envelope out of his pocket, handing it to him. “Good luck in medical school, son.” Heeseung takes the envelope, looking down at it with a smile, and your father rests a hand on his shoulder.

“Thank you so much, Doc,” Heeseung beams. “And I also wanted to thank you for your help with the Chaewon situation, I guess we’ve all gotten into messes like these, huh?” Your father stands with his back to you, so you can only imagine the way his smile falls and his eyes harden.

“What?”

Heeseung’s smile falters slightly and he chuckles awkwardly. “I-I thought Baby told you… Look, it’s what Chaewon said, but I’m not sure, you never know with girls like that, they could pin it on anyone-”

Your father snatches the envelope back from Heeseung’s hands, glaring at him, and walks back to his seat next to you without a word. It’s only now that you understand your father’s dislike of Sunghoon - he had been certain Sunghoon was the one who had gotten Chaewon into such trouble. How could you have missed that? All this time, you thought it was just because Sunghoon was part of the staff and didn’t come from your world. Regret and frustration bubble up in your stomach. So many misunderstandings could’ve been avoided if only you had known what your father thought.

It’s only after a few minutes that he breaks the silence. “I’m sorry, Baby.”

You take a deep breath in. “Thank you, but I’m not the one you need to apologize to, Daddy.”

He turns his head to look at you. “You’re right. You’re right,” he sighs.

Just then, Jake walks past your table and towards the stage, disappearing behind the curtains on the side. You lift your head, trying to see what he’s up to, but the sound of the doors at the back of the room opening and closing loudly catches your attention. It seems to catch everybody’s attention - you hear small gasps and small murmurs of a familiar name, and your mind directly lands on the possibility, but you don’t believe it until you see it standing right in front of you, a hand reaching out to you - Sunghoon’s here.

“Nobody puts Baby in a corner.”

You take his hand and let him guide you away from the table. You’re so enchanted by seeing him again that you barely notice your mother having to keep your father from stopping you. Together, you climb up the small set of stairs, walking past the performers and standing in the middle of the stage, the music stopping abruptly. His voice booms throughout the room when he speaks.

“Sorry for the disruption folks, but I always do the last dance of the season. This year, I was told not to. So I’m gonna do my kind of dancing with a great partner. Not only is she an amazing dancer, but she also taught me that people will stand for other people no matter what it costs them, and about the kind of person I want to be myself. Miss Y/N Y/L/N, everyone.” 

Whoops emerge from the back of the room where the staff are standing and you watch as Sunghoon walks to the side of the stage, discarding his leather jacket and exchanging a nod with Jake. The music starts to play - it’s a song you’ve heard before, a song you know well because you’ve danced to it many times with Sunghoon. It’s a song you love. 

He walks towards you, a smirk on his face, eyes heavy with desire. He places his hands on your waist, your own coming up to his forearm, and dips you backwards in a circle, which elicits more cheers from the dancers. He then stands behind you, imitating the starting position of the dance for your performance at the Sheldrake. The music picks up, and after that, it’s like magic. You and Sunghoon know exactly what to do, a mix of the choreography he’d taught you and of other moves you had picked up when you just danced together for fun. All the steps and turns come to you as if you know this dance by heart, and the whole time, you’re looking into each other’s eyes as they shine with happiness.

Sunghoon makes you spin away from him, and, your arm extended between you two, brings your hand up to his lips and places a delicate kiss to the back of it. Then, he jumps off the stage, prompting gasps and cheers from all around the room, and makes his way while dancing to the back of the room, where the dancers join him. Seconds before the second chorus is about to start, some of them run to you and help you off the stage, and Sunghoon nods at you from the middle of the room. So you run to him, gathering momentum until you reach him and he picks you up, lifting you from the ground up into the air, and you manage to keep your bird-like position for a few seconds. A huge smile breaks on your face as everybody cheers, your mother and sister clapping excitedly and even your father looking at you, astonished, proud. 

Sunghoon brings you back down slowly, grinning as he gazes at you with only love in his eyes. “I knew you could do it,” he whispers.

The staff starts to invite the guests to dance with them, pushing chairs to the side and getting people to stand up. Jake shows Seeun how to move, reminiscent of the way Sunghoon had done with you, your mother and Jay dance together, and the whole room turns into a dancefloor where couples and small groups can let go and move however they want to. 

You and Sunghoon head to the exit to find a quieter place, but your father calls out to you before you can slip away. “I found out you weren’t the one to get Chaewon in trouble.” Sunghoon simply nods. “I was wrong. I apologize,” he says solemnly, and the corners of Sunghoon’s lips tug slightly upwards.

“Thank you, Doctor Y/L/N.”

Your father’s eyes drift to you, and his polite expression turns affectionate. “You looked great up there, Baby.” You sigh, relief washing over your whole body and alleviating the weight on your heart. You let go of Sunghoon’s hands to wrap your arms around your father’s neck, and he takes you in a brief but tight hug.

“I’ll let you two go now. I need to find your mother, haven’t danced with her in ages. That’s something else I can thank you for,” he says, smiling down at you.

You watch him walk away for a few seconds until Sunghoon takes your hand in his again, and you slip out the doors to the front lawn. Outside, you close your eyes and take a deep breath of fresh air in, laughing for no reason other than simple joy when your eyes meet his.

He leads you to the gazebo and brings his hands to your waist again. The song is nearing its end but you can still hear it drifting through the open doors and windows of the room. You know that even when it’s over, it’ll keep playing in your head - and in your heart.

Just like you’ll always keep Sunghoon there.

You move slowly to the rhythm of the last chorus, gazing into each other’s eyes. You want to enjoy this moment for what it is, but the fact that you’re leaving tomorrow won’t leave your thoughts. This might very well be the last time you and Sunghoon ever dance together, or ever see each other. You can give each other your address and send letters, or exchange home phone numbers and call, but how long will that last? You’ll go to college while he goes home and starts working with his father again, or finds a way to fulfill his dream.

He probably sees the sadness in your eyes and brings you closer to him. He doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t need to - you know the same thoughts are cramping his mind. Words are unnecessary, and promises are futile, so for now, you forget everything else, and focus on the sway of your bodies and on his hands holding you tight against him.

Resting the side of your head on his shoulder, you look up at the night sky. The stars are shining bright, unbothered by any clouds, and the full moon gazes down at you protectively. Even when you’re apart, you and Sunghoon will still sleep under the same moon every night. You may be just one of the many love stories she’s witnessed, but you dare to think that yours is a special one, one that can’t be reproduced, one that is uniquely yours.

You continue to dance even when the song is over, letting your bodies bask in the moonlight.

fic taglist: @jaetaimjadore @sleepingsag permanent taglist: @ozymandia-s @bbujiikseu @sunghoonmybeloved @lalalalawon @sd211 © asahicore on tumblr, 2023. please do not plagiarize, repost or translate my works. feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!

#sunghoon smut #enhypen smut #sunghoon angst #enhypen angst #sunghoon fluff #enhypen fluff #sunghoon x reader #enhypen x reader #sunghoon fanfiction #enhypen fanfiction #sunghoon au #enhypen au

[storiesoflilies]

school bus love (2)

synopsis: the familiar bubbling buzz of excitement was beginning to make her brain fuzzy, and it was all because of him.

pairing: teen!toji fushiguro x teen!f!reader

warnings: none.

a/n: wake up everyone!!! new lily lore just dropped hehe <3 please don’t think i was cringe! i was 17 and had a big fat crush on a handsome boy hehe. please reblog if you would like to continue to hear about this story xo

drabble series link // part 1 // part 3

her dreams were filled with fluffy clouds painted pink and green, tangerine sunrises, twittering birdsong, and the tang of saltwater as she swam through an ocean of possibilities.

she’d wake up with her toes curling and a silly, giddy smile on her face, kicking her legs as she hugged her pillow, then immediately texting her friends back home that she’d had a dream about the boy again, convinced it was surely meant to be.

her gorgeous boy, whose name was toji fushiguro.

she’d found that by slyly asking well-placed questions to her friends and bus buddy, crossing her fingers behind her back, hoping it wasn’t too obvious what she was trying to do. being the new student was a good cover, feigning innocence, pretending that she only wanted to know who everyone was at school.

“ooh, fushiguro,” her bus buddy said, a finger on her cheek in thought. “yeah, he’s been getting this bus for years. his friend group are a bunch of idiots, but he’s nice. one of the good ones.”

she heard that quite often whenever she asked about toji, that he was one of the ‘good ones’.

“you mean toji? he’s a good one.”

“keeps to himself, but he’s a good guy. never involved in drama”

“yeah, i don’t know how he’s friends with those guys, but if i had to pick, then he’s the good one.”

toji and the rest of the boys continued to sit next to her and her bus buddy in the mornings. they all had their designated spots, which meant he was always sitting across from her. nanami and her knew to leave just a little bit of extra space between them for him to put his feet up, and her brain would go into overdrive every time the tip of his sneakers touched the outside of her thigh.

she’d preen herself extra meticulously in the mornings, overthinking every stray strand of frizz sticking out haphazardly, swiping a touch of mascara through her lashes, and rolling up her skirt just an inch higher up her thighs, hoping once again that her mother wouldn’t notice as she scurried out the door to walk to the bus stop.

“if that skirt gets any shorter, i’ll know it’s a boy you’re after!” her mom shouted out in mock warning, rolling her eyes knowingly.

“see you later!” she’d answered back sheepishly, her heart thumping with anticipation at the prospect of seeing him.

although, despite her best efforts, she had never once caught toji looking at her.

she didn’t exactly know what game she was trying to play. toji would pretty much put his headphones on as soon as he got on the bus, not speaking to anyone really. she couldn’t ask anybody if he had a girlfriend; her intentions would become blatantly obvious if she did. but she didn’t really see any other option. otherwise, her heart would end up crushed and compressed like a soda can.

so one day, after a night of scrolling through his Facebook profile and finding nothing, she sucked in a breath and blurted out, “does fushiguro have a girlfriend?”

her bus buddy stilled, fingers paused in the middle of typing something on her phone, and raised a brow. “ohh, so that’s what all this has been about.”

a flush of heat ran through her. “what do you mean?”

her buddy smirked, tucking her phone into her blazer pocket as her complete attention was captured. “you like him.”

deny, deny, deny.

“psh, do not. was just wondering.”

“sure, babe. that’s why you look all dolled up in the mornings now. thought it was because of gojo, to be honest, but i respect the choice.”

she pursed her lips and said nothing, completely regretting her decision to even ask the question. her bus buddy sighed and gripped both of her shoulders, intensely staring at her as whatever plot was forming in her head brewed.

“right, time to play wing-woman. i’ll get the conversation going and rope you into it when i get the chance, okay?”

“so, does this mean he doesn’t have a girlfriend?”

“not that i know of, unless she doesn’t go to our school.”

the bus pulled up to the stop, and she saw toji’s familar black mop a head above the other students, along with gojo’s hair of white starlight and namami’s signature blonde locks. she gulped nervously and slowly made her way to the back of the bus. her bus buddy was looking over her shoulder, grinning excitedly when the boys finally boarded.

“you ready?” her buddy squealed, bouncing her legs up and down.

she shushed her loudly, glancing warily at the boys approaching them. the younger kids in the middle of the pathway were like buzzy bees flitting about a field of flowers. gojo glanced uninterestedly at them all, patting geto on the back to usher him into his spot. toji huffed as he took his seat, reaching into his pocket and opening up a chocolate bar.

her buddy nudged him, a little roughly, the corner of her lip curling upwards. “sup, fushiguro?”

toji frowned, as if questioning why she was even speaking to him, halfway through biting into his chocolate bar. “what?”

“nothin’, was just wondering how you were. haven’t spoken to ya in ages,” she smiled lopsidedly, leaning her back against the window and facing him more directly.

“yeah, fine,” toji replied slowly, still chewing. “and yourself?”

she tried not to make it obvious that she was listening in to their exchange, so put on her headphones and played her music on a low volume. her buddy continued chattering away to toji, who still looked mildly confused, while nanami surprisingly chimed in every so often as well.

a light kick to her shin snapped her out of her thoughts, and she pulled on her headphone wires to remove them from her ears, looking at her friend expectantly, the tips of her ears warm as her heart pounded.

this could be it.

“hey, we were just talking about plans for the summer. what have you got planned?” she asked, both eyebrows raised.

“oh, i think I’ll be going back home for a while,” she answered, crossing her legs over.

“right, yeah, makes sense,” her friend mused, nodding her head. “i’m sure you miss it.”

it was silent for a beat, and then nanami piped up beside her, “it’s really warm where you’re from, right?”

she giggled softly. “yeah, you could say that. almost never rains.”

“fuck,” toji scoffed, shoving his empty wrapper into his pocket. “sign me up.”

the world stopped for just a second.

it was just him, with his green eyes focused on her, and she felt like the only girl in the world.

she grinned, flashing her teeth, and let out a genuine laugh.

she felt on top of the world.

general taglist (open): @tadabzzzbee

school bus love taglist (open): @wannapizzamymindposts @badbyeyoongi @stromynight

©storiesoflilies 2024, all rights reserved. please do not plagiarize, translate, or repost any of my work on other sites! i only post on ao3 and tumblr.

#toji x reader #toji fushiguro x reader #toji x you #toji fushiguro #toji x y/n #toji zenin #fushiguro toji #jujutsu kaisen toji #jujutsu kaisen #jjk drabbles #jjk x reader #jjk toji #toji fluff #dividers by cafekitsune #gojo satoru #namami kento #geto suguru

[laladellakang]

partners (1/2) ♡

masterlist | wattpad

DETAILS: bold dialogue: english members: ot7, (individual scenes) nrk, psh, lhs, yjw word count: 5.1k add. della in dark blood/bite me

SUMMARY: behind the scenes of dark blood [revamp] hehe revamp like vampires 1/2 + slight continuation of burgundy lipstick on jungwon's part

NOTES: hi! i'm so sorry for being away for so long! i have an explanation here if you wanna see what's been happening BUT NOWW i've come back for this new special birthday + anniversary month chapter! this is basically the partners chapter but revised + more scenes. i was gonna just combine it w part two but it was hecka long and i hate extremely long chapters. oh yea and della's dance in bite me includes a girlie now (but still has a man) please let me know what you think by sending asks/commenting. i look forward to them while writing and they really make my day <3 

Della's hand injury at the start of 2023 has caused an obvious shift within Enhypen's dynamics. The fear of another relapse has caused the members to grow increasingly protective and wary of the girl, doing everything they can to get the love of their life back. Displaying it through their constant supervision when Della is in the kitchen, to being assured that she has taken her antidepressants, to an overall improvement in communication to ensure that her negative thoughts don't boil over.

Fortunately, the slump went away faster than they anxiously expected. Following the tour and her plastic surgery, Della had regained her usual self just in time for her birthday and their two-year anniversary. As their bond grows stronger by the day, the eight found themselves back in their honeymoon phase— practically inseperable.

Then the time came for a comeback.

It would have been ten months since their last one, and the group ready to go back into their busy routine with barely any rest but at least looked cute while doing it. They were excited for the change, and even more thrilled to find out that the concept would be something sexy. However, when they were briefed about the potential couple choreography, all seven boys froze collectively.

"We have to see how this goes. This is uncharted territory for us, so we're not sure if it's the best idea," the creative director explained. "BTS' Jimin incorporated mixed dancers, and the response was pretty good. However, 'Like Crazy' wasn't a full-on couple dance, so it might be different this time."

Jungwon, who was sitting to the left of Della, immediately held her hand under the desk, while the other six stole glances in her direction. Their minds were mostly occupied with how their girlfriend would react, as opposed to fully sinking in what such concept would entail for them.

"You'll hear the song in a bit, but since the key point is about a man doting on the woman who turned him into a vampire, we are going to have Della be the killing part," another director continued. "You'll have slightly different lyrics from the boys and you'll have an overall more seductive look."

"Thank you," Della bowed in her seat. "Is it altered to be more feminine?" she asked.

"No, no. You'll be singing from the girl's perspective. So if we look at the next page—" the sound of papers flipping echoed through the room. "Here, for Della's part in the teaser, we're gonna have you bite an actor— of course, not literally," the director's comment made a few people snicker. "—and turn him into a vampire. So, essentially, you'll be singing to two people: the woman who turned you and the man that you turned."

"Ahh, understood," Della nodded calmly. "Thank you," she said once again before caressing the back of Jungwon's tense hand. She glanced over at the others to find most of them looking at their sheet with a hard gaze. She could additionally see Jake playing with the corner of his and hear Jay's foot tapping on the floor. 

"Thank you for the question, now back to the previous page—" another round of paper-flipping. "Now given that backstory, Della's partner in this comeback will be the only male—" the comment made Ni-ki choke on the coffee he was sipping. "Are you alright?"

"Ye– yeah! My– apo– apologies." he said in between coughs, turning his body away from the table while Sunoo patted his back.

"Like we said, we don't know how this is gonna turn out. We're sort of taking a gamble by doing this type of concept, but it's certainly going to be different and memorable."

The car ride home was tense. The members made an effort to conceal their emotions in the office, but in the privacy of the car, they saw no need to do so, and thus, they didn't. Though the discussion had to wait until they reached the dorm, as they needed all seven boys to be there. Della, who already knew the reason behind the tension, just calmly played with her phone and hummed to their upcoming title track.

"You really like the song, huh?" Jay commented as he entered the combination to their dorm. Since they had freshly heard it, all Della kept doing was humming the tune and repeating the words 'just come kiss me and bite me',which only heightened the tension among the three boys in her car. She could have chosen any other parts of the song and instead went for that specific line.

"It's one of my favorites of ours. It's so good," Della stopped her humming to reply with a grin. "We're ho—"

"Group meeting!" Jungwon immediately called out.

"As expected," Della muttered to herself. The four new arrivals swiftly put their shoes away and made headed to the living room, where the other four were already waiting. "Hello—"

"Lala, how are you feeling?" Jungwon wasted no time in asking. The question that all seven boys have been meaning to ask for the past two hours.

"I feel great," she replied with a soft smile, sitting on the couch armrest. "The song's great! The concept's great! I really can't wait for it."

"Is there... anything you dislike about the concept?" Sunghoon asked with a suspicious tone.

"Honestly..." the boys all looking at her with curious, yet almost eager eyes. "I think it's our best concept yet. It really represents Enhypen," her words made them collectively sigh in relief. "Were you expecting me to hate it?"

"No, it's just— like..." Sunoo struggled to find the words to explain the situation. "We were worried about the couple concept thing. The couple dance plus all the acting."

"Why were you worried about that?" Della furrowed her eyebrows. "Are you expecting me to be jealous?"

"No!" the seven said simultaneously in different tones. "We were just worried." Della couldn't help but scoff and giggle at her boyfriends.

"You guys have gotten so used to being a group that you often say things in unison," she covered the bottom half of her face, unable to contain her giggles. "So cute!"

"Wait— Lala, stay focused— are you seriously, seriously fine with everything?" Sunoo placed a hand on her knee to grab her attention.

"I'm totally cool! I don't mind you guys dancing with girls at all!" Della said with wide eyes and a genuine tone. "Guys, I used to train in YG— dancing or acting with the opposite sex is nothing! It's all professional," the mention of her old company itself suddenly provided the answer to their question.

"But the concept is quite sexy. We won't just be dancing next to each other, it's gonna be a couple dance with hand touching, at least," Jake explained.

"Honey, have you seen groups like Winner and BigBang? With Riki still being a baby, I doubt any of the parts will be suggestive— the worst thing they can do is have you hold onto the dancer's waist or something," she gave the Aussie a knowing look. "This is the art of dancing! We're exploring new stuff that fourth gen hasn't done before!" her eyes shone with every word she spoke, clearly showing her enthusiasm for the concept.

"I mean... on top of that, we don't love the idea too," Sunghoon spoke up, trying to be gentle. "We— or at least I wouldn't want to dance with another girl, let alone seeing you dance with another guy," Heeseung and Jay pointed to him in agreement while the others nod.

"Aww, darling, it's all professional, I promise!" Della made her way to the Sunghoon and released his crossed arms. "I'm only dancing with him for a little bit! Barely half a minute, I'm sure," she linked her arm with his and stared up at him with puppy eyes.

"It still ain't fun," he muttered, gulping down at the sight of her.

"Della, it's not that we don't trust you or anything," Heeseung sighed. "You have guy friends, for Christ's sake, we really do trust you! It's just... it's just..."

"It just fucking sucks," Jay bluntly completed for him. "—and we really don't wanna do this couple dance thing either. We know it's gonna hurt you."

"I'm not hurt, honest!" Della straightened her posture and widened her eyes. "I mean, we can always try to reason with the team if you guys are rea—" her idea was immediately cut by a string of 'no's.

"Forget about us, we'll be fine!" the other six wanted to smack their maknae on the head for lying. No, they will certainly not be fine. "But you! We don't want to hurt you or anything!" at least his other point was correct.

"I'm not hurt! Look, guys—" Della sighed, sitting down in betweenn Ni-Ki and Jay on the sofa and held their hands. "I'm not gonna lie, I might get a little jealous, but just a little! I'm not gonna be 'hurt', I swear! Just this conversation alone is enough to assure me that you all are seriously the best boyfriends in the world," she said with utmost sincerity. "I have nothing to worry about and— I know it's easier said than done but so should you. I'm completely obsessed with you guys! I don't want anyone else"

"Well, there are seven of us," Jungwon blurted out without thought. "I'm sorry!" his eyes instantly filled with regret while his hand went up to cover his mouth. "I didn't mean it like that. That sounds so wrong, I'm sor—"

"It's okay, darling. I'm not offended," Della got up from her seat and ruffled his hair. "Plus, you're absolutely right! I have seven boyfriends, I don't need any more! Especially when you're all so perfect." she placed a kiss on Jungwon's cheek before heading towards the kitchen. The seven boys all looked at each other in flabbergast.

"Are you absolutely, positively certain you're okay with the couple thing?!" Jay called out.

"Absolutely! I trust you guys! Best boyfriends ever, I tell you!"

The boys eyed each other as the same thought crossed their minds; one that they could never say aloud. "She gets jealous and upset over fan ships with idols we barely (or never) even talk to, yet she seems completely fine when we act with a girl for the screen?"

When the day came to finally learn the choreography, the boys were evidently really tense. They didn't even bother to conceal it in hopes that they might magically cancel the idea due to lack of chemistry. Little did they know that that is what the company prefers; for them to not 'stray from Engenes' hearts.'

The overall lesson came out smoothly, with everyone remaining professional and focused at the task at hand. Yet that was also because Della had not even touched her male dance partner. That part would only come towards the end of the song, on the second chorus, as Della dances with a girl on the first half. It was easy for the boys to cast their jealousy aside, but it certainly wasn't when the man finally came along.

"Della, your partner, Ingyu, as you know," the choreographer introduced the two out of formality. "Ingyu, Della," both Della and Ingyu politely bowed, despite already knowing each other from earlier. "Do you think you can do the moves from memory?" the choreographer grinned at the girl.

"Maybe...? Hopefully?" Della nervously grinned back, causing both the choreographer and Ingyu to chuckle.

Everyone had practiced and (essentially) mastered the chorus dance, but Della needed to be taken aside to learn the part switch she has with her male partner. It was an entirely new set for her, whereas several of the members just had to change partners.

This also provided an opportunity for them to fully observe their girlfriend dancing with another man. How lucky were they to have their full attention on the session they dread the most.

"Let's see what you've got," the choreographer stepped back to observe. "Five, six, seven, eight— it's you and me in this world..." Della did a great job mirroring the moves. Although some details in her leg movements were missing, her upper body ones were practically all correct.

"Damn, we just had to have a break while they are doing their part," Jay mumbled to his fellow members. "If it had happened earlier, we would have had something to focus on. But now it's right up on our faces."

"They have great chemistry, don't they?" Heeseung scoffed with a sardonic smile. Their eyes followed as the choreographer instructed Della on how much she needed to bend, having her hold onto Ingyu for support. "Wow, such amazing chemistry," he sarcastically remarked.

"Did I ever tell you about the time I asked her about the chemistry between my partner and I?" Sunoo asked Heeseung, who replied with a shake of his head. "I asked her how she would feel if I had good dance chemistry with my partner, and she just said, 'That's great! You should switch partners if the dance chemistry isn't there.' Like, what the fuck?"

"Ahh, you mentioned that to me," Jungwon reminded him. "Della really isn't jealous—she even encouraged Sunoo-hyung to make eye contact," he pointed at Sunoo.

"Really?!" Jake's eyes widened. "Even in front of the cameras?!"

"Uh!" Jungwon and Sunoo nodded with wide eyes. "I think as long as everything remains professional, she's completely fine."

"Well can someone tell her that we're not completely fine?" Sunghoon really tried to not glare at the couple but it wasn't like he was the only one.

It took around fifteen minutes for Della to get all the moves down. While it wasn't long by any means, the boys felt like the session ran through a hour. Instead of making the most out of their break, they were using up their energy on the glares that they sent the couple's way. 

Both the choreographer and Ingyu (and certainly Della) could feel the potential holes that were burning through the male dancer's skin, yet they decide to brush it off since it doesn't appear to affect Della's performance. They always knew that the Enha boys had a crush on the girl anyway.

The keyword was professional, and as long as everyone remains that then all should be well.

"Are you finish?" Sunghoon asked Della as she finally made her way over for her break.

"Yup," she gave a thumbs up. "Thankfully, it wasn't difficult."

While they were all feeling jealous, they knew that Della had done everything they asked of her and there was wasn't much she could do. So they resorted to the only outlet available for them to express their emotions; teasing and poking fun at her.

"Was it fun?" Sunoo playfully glared at her with a pout.

"Aish, it's all professional," she playfully pushed him.

"So it was fun?" Sunoo pestered further, causing Della to scoff and mutter a "no it wasn't."

"'It's all professional,' but you were fully leaning on his chest?" Jungwon teased as well.

"It was no different from you!" she protested with a point to him. "—with all of you! We maintained our distance and everything."

"Our distance was like this—" Jake opened his arms wide in exaggeration. "While your distance was like this," he demonstrated by getting very close to Jay.

"No, it wasn't!" Della stomped her feet repeatedly. "You guys are exaggerating!"

"In that case, show us how it was," Ni-ki stood up from the floor and got closer to Della. "Demonstrate with me," he smirked.

"Eyy!" the members teased, impressed by their maknae's smooth flirting. "Go on! Show us!"

"Aish, you seven," Della complained with a roll to her eyes but complied anyway. "It's you and me in this world..." she sang monotonously and lazily repeated the moves that she just learned.

"Wah! Look at the large gap when it's with me!" Ni-ki protested to his hyungs. "Wah... seriously..." he pinched his nose bridge and shook his head.

"What the—" Della's confusion was immediately cut off by the members simultaneously jestering her. Choruses of "wah Della!", "how could you do that?!" "with our maknae too!" and "can't believe you play favourites," ran through the circle, making whoever else in the room glance at them with an amused expression.

"What are you talking about?!"

"Riki, riki, what do you think of this? So everyone disappears out of the frame except for you," Della explained her vision, using her hands to mimic curtains opening. "All eyes are on you and then Sunghoon-oppa emerges!" her hand then dramatically raised as if she was Thanos. "Brave heart— pam, pam, pam!" she said Ni-ki's line while popping her chest. "Then you and Sunghoon-oppa couple dance on his part!" the pen in her hand dropped as if it was a microphone and she had just said something life changing. 

"Couple dance?" Ni-ki raised an eyebrow. The two dancers were ecstatic when the choreographer had asked them to take part in the process. They have wanted this for so long and were finally given the responsibility of the pre-chorus and second verse. The pre-chorus practically screams Ni-ki's name so it was a no-brainer for the maknae to take the former. 

They were experimenting together but didn't interfere with each other's section, simply situated in an empty practice room with snacks and their phones playing the recently recorded song. It almost reminded them of the time when they had their first kiss.

"Not literally, but like... a pair dance, y'know? Something like Given-Taken," Della grinned. "Then Heeseung-oppa emerges! Then I emerge! Then everyone gathers and emerges—"

"What is with you and people emerging?" Ni-ki laughed. He was feeling a little too happy to have his girlfriend all to himself whilst doing the activity they love the most (especially since said activity was recently ruined by the couple dance). It was evident in his clinginess and the shine in his eyes. 

"It's the drama! The vampire! The darkness!" the younger could only laugh more, letting his head drop on his girlfriend's lap. 

"I'm sure you know what suits the mood, and I think the emergence thing sounds great," Ni-ki can't help but hum when Della's fingers tangled themselves in his hair. "I'm doing something like this; come here and get some—" with his eyes still closed and basking in the soothing sensation, he brought his hands up to form the first part of his original dance. "Something with a cool vibe, y'know?" 

「大好き」 Della smiled softly. 「まじ力のスタイル」 she got close to his face to place a sideways kiss on his lips. [daisuki: i love it, maji riki no sutairu: it's seriously riki's style]

「ありがとう」Ni-ki muttered out before closing the gap to deepen the kiss. [arigatou: thanks]

Della and her boyfriends wouldn't call herself a jealous person. However, what she definitely is, is an anxiety-filled, insecure person. Otherwise known as a jealous person. 

But she's not envious! She simply overthinks that some girls just suit the boys better than her and that they deserve better. While she's not jealous of the boys acting with Park Jiwon for the trailer, she had to admit that she was a little nervous before the shoot.

'What if they look great together? Especially Sunghoon since he has a lot of scenes with her,' she recognises that she's overthinking it but she really can't prevent herself from doing so.

'Sunghoon and one of your close friends look great together, but they don't give off couple vibes,' she reminded herself. 'You look great with them too, Lala. Give yourself some credit, you bad bitch.'

With the help of her self-pep talk (and antidepressants), her nervousness subdued quick. It also didn't take long for it to completely wash away, resulting from Jiwon being a massive shipper of Enha as a group. It was evident in how she giggled to herself whenever Della and the boys did anything close to being couple-like.

Furthermore, she had caught Jiwon pouting to her manager, questioning; "Is that all we're getting? Della being disappointed in Sunghoon and they don't even hug?" or along those lines.

Needless to say, there was no reason for Della to feel jealous, and that almost annoyed Mister Park Sunghoon himself.

"You're seriously, seriously not jealous?" Sunghoon asked when they had a moment to themselves on set.

"No? Why would I be?" Della said with a borderline sassy tone. The boys have been walking around eggshells with Jiwon and have constantly asked the same questions to Della. A rotation between "are you sure?" "is it really okay?" "aren't you jealous?" and "are you feeling okay?" Although she appreciates the gesture and thinks it's incredibly sweet of them, she has gotten tired of saying the same things over and over again.

"Not even the slightest? Babe, the storyline literally includes me defending her more than yo—" 

"And what are you gonna do if I said that I was?" she cut him off, moving closer to him with a low voice.

"I– I mean," he stuttered at the look on her face and sudden close proximity. Even after two years, there are still moments when he finds Della intimidating. "Just wanted to make sure you were okay—"

"And what are you gonna do if I said that I wasn't?" she practically repeated. "You want me to congratulate you?" an eyebrow was raised to challenge him further.

"No! That's not what I meant!" his eyes widened in panic. "I– I was just– a little—" he did have an reason, but the addition of Della's hand pushing his bangs to the side had distracted him from whatever it was he was trying to say.

"Why don't you relay this to the others as well, hm?" she then brushed her fingers on his cheekbones. "I am rarely ever jealous because, at the end of the day, when you act out those scenes or record our songs, I'm the one who's on your mind. You don't think of Jiwon, your dancers, or even Sooha or Engenes. You think of me," she lets out a smirk when he appeared to be in a daze.

"The lyrics that you sing in your songs? Those are all for me."

"I get to have a couple dance with you?!" Heeseung exclaimed when Della broke the news. "Sweet! Nice!"

She really couldn't help it. She just had to reveal to the guy that she sneaked in a tiny pair dance for the two of them. It wasn't much in her eyes but it's more than enough for Heeseung.

"You have to show me! Please!" Heeseung got up from his bed, ready to replicate whatever it was that Della came up with. "It's definitely gonna be the choreo, right?! Like they won't ask you to change it or anything?" Della couldn't help but chuckle at how adorable the older was. His eyes sparkled with eager and hope, incredibly ready to perform his girlfriend's arrangement in pride.

"Nope. Absolute free to do whatever I want," she grinned before standing up as well. "All you do is kneel..." she kneeled on the floor to demonstrate, with Heeseung following suit. "Then rise... walk... then this," what he had to do wasn't difficult at all, so he would definitely still be able to sing live. "That's it."

"And yours?" Della smiled and made her way behind him. It was a tight fit, but the two can definitely make it work with how simple the moves are.

"Go ahead."

"'Come to me, make it right,'" Heeseung could feel himself get even more excited when Della placed her hand under his chin. "'Please connect me again,' woah!" his eyes widened at her hands running down his arms. 

"'Devour you,'" Della whispered, leaving goosebumps on his skin. Her face got close to his neck while her right hand mimicked a claw on his shoulder blade. Knowing Heeseung, this move should drive him insane.

"No fricking way," within a flash, Della was back onto the bed with Heeseung lips on the side of her neck. "Gosh, I love this vampire concept."

"Gosh, I hate this vampire concept," Heeseung rumbled under his breath.

"It was all fun and games until we realise what a vampire concept entails," Jake mumbled with crossed arms. 

"Yeah, and it's whatever this shit is," Jay huffed, openly glaring at the unfolding scene without a care.

Della was in the midst of filming the scene where she wakes up and bites a passerby. For budget conveniences (since his face wouldn't be visible anyway), the actor was none other than her male backup dancer, Ingyu.

It seems that, although she had made her lack of jealousy clear, her reasons did not resonate with her men. Even when they implement her advice, they still felt that red, hot jealousy. 

"If his face ain't even on the video, then can't one of us do it? Seriously..." Sunoo rolled his eyes to avoid looking at Della leaning into Ingyu's neck. 

"I know right?" Jungwon and Jay briefly replied, shifting their eyes to the monitor and giving them a closer look at the scene.

"Oh my God!" the boys (with the exception of Sunoo, who was still avoiding the performance), held a shocked look when Della's pretend bite appeared very realistic.

The segment is definitely different from that of Jay's and Sunghoon's. With Della being the one to initiate the bite, the focus is on her face instead of the partner's. The audience could see her laziness-laced body with eyes holding a convincing hunger to them, making it look like she was an actual starved vampire. She looks incredibly alluring, all while looking at another man.

"Oh great, she's amazing at acting too," after a quick glance back, Sunoo let out another eye roll. "Does she always have to give it her all? She should've half assed it," he spat out. 

"Sunoo-ya," Heeseung and Jungwon laughed while the other four snorted with grins on their faces. 

"You're gonna get us in trouble with that language," Jay chuckled.

"I wasn't screaming it or anything— I'm just saying what you all are thinking," Sunoo shrugged innocently. "You three are way louder than me without even saying anything" he gestured to Heeseung, Jay and Jungwon, additionally giving them a pointed look. The others know they can't disagree, as the trio really placed their heart on their sleeves this time.

"I don't fucking get it. Any one of us could really act this scene, I swear," Jungwon huffed out with a sarcastic smile. He placed his hands in his pockets, turning his body around to avoid looking any further. "Seven boys and they went with someone else for fucking budget reasons when they don't need to pay us fuck all for that scene alone. It's like they're doing this on purpose just so his name is on the fucking credits and Engenes won't ship us or—" 

"Woah, woah!" Heeseung and Jake cut him off from his tangent. Jay and Sunoo's eyes simply widened while Ni-ki and Sunghoon held him back as if he was going to fight.

"You need to have a talk with Della or something," Sunghoon pat his left shoulder in attempt to calm him down. On his right, the youngest did a similar gesture by massaging the tense area.

"Or your therapist..."

"A little birdie told me you need to let things out," fortunately, since Della's part was the last shoot of the day, Jungwon's sour mood did not interfere with their work. It also gave them the opportunity to talk in the fully private hotel room. 

Jungwon only scoffed out, keeping his arms crossed as he sat on the bed. The man himself doesn't fully understand why he was so upset. The other boys had quickly calmed themselves— unbeknownst to him, it was because they saw how angry their leader was, yet he remained with a scowl for majority of the time. 

"Who?" he avoided eye contact when he muttered, afraid to raise his voice at the girl.

"It doesn't even matter because I can tell with my eyes closed," Della mirrored his body language but remained standing before him and leaning on the desk behind her. She has always been nervous whenever any one of the boys are mad at her, but Jungwon is probably the most intimidating. His leader energy is incredible.

"I just don't understand why they need Ingyu to act when there are seven other men who can do it," he went straight to the point. "If his face isn't even showing then any one of us could've done it! Heck— even the director could use his own neck! They couldn't have one of us to do it?!" as he went on, his voice started to raise a little in passion.

Della only stood there with an occasional nod, listening to the tangent that the other members have already heard. He talked nonstop for a few minutes, leaving Della room to ponder through her words.

She noticed that he kept repeating points like 'any one of the members could do it,' 'the bite could've been even more realistic,' and 'why they would want you to imitate a bite on another man.' It all finally clicked to her when Jungwon said, "They scrapped the kiss mark for the jacket shoot and now this? They're definitely keeping us apart on purpose."

"Jungwonie?" she grinned mischievously, to which he stopped and replied with a hum. "You're so cute," she didn't give him much time to react, as she had already hovered above him to connect their lips.

"Wait, Lala—" the younger was certainly not complaining, but he wished that Della would say a bit more than that, especially after he went on and on.

"You want more neck kisses, don't you?" she grinned once again. "You felt special during the jacket shoot and want that again, right? And you're jealous because the concept was scrapped for you yet another man got it. Am I right?"

Jungwon blinked slowly, taking in the observation that the mind reader had made. He didn't even know that he was feeling that way but it all makes sense. His emotions weren't even specifically directed to Ingyu; it's towards a man who wasn't him. He would feel the same if the team had chosen any other member. 

A rare occurrence for Jungwon, but definitely not impossible. As much as he loves his best friends and the relationship, he did originally want Della all to himself.

A giggle interrupted his train of thoughts, and when Della asked for a confirmation, all he could do was nod in embarrassment. She let out another giggle before closing the gap between them once again.

"Don't worry, Wonie. I'll give you a million neck kisses if that's what you want."

my writing style has evolved and i'm hating a lot of my old works so i'm going to edit + tweak them soon but i'm still keeping the old ones on wattpad just in case they're someone's comfort fics <3 n e ways i hope you enjoy because i hope my writing style has progressed instead of regressed

part two coming soon

taglist! @afiaaaa19 @riikiblr @one16core @i90snoo @danyxthirstae01 @seulgifted @clar-iii @nichmeddar @jiwlys @duolingofanaccount @nvmbheart [i have removed accs that i can't tag so please send me an ask/message to be in the tallest again]

#kang della #8th member of enhypen #enhypen 8th member #enhypen ff #enhypen reactions #enhypen scenarios #enhypen x oc #enhypen added member #enhypen eigth member #enhypen female addition #enhypen female member #enhypen oc #kpop added member #kpop oc #enhypen female oc #enhypen imagines #enhypen poly fic #enhypen poly

[starsurface]

Hi sorry for requesting again but I was wondering you had CG Headcannons for Mk 11 Johnny Cage ? He's a comfort character at the moment and I'm happy to see you do content for MK 10,11 and 1 :) sorry again for being awkward in my first ask I've been off tumblr for a while and recently came back ...

MK11 Johnny Cage!!! <3

And your fine, don't worry one bit!!

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

CG Johnny Cage MK11 Hcs

💫 Depending on where we are on the timeline depends on how ‘good’ on a CG he is (all CGs are good, they're trying their best <3)

💫 Younger Johnny is more of a babysitter or older brother figure, but still a pretty good CG

💫 Older Johnny takes on a more stable CG role (we're gonna focus on him)

💫 You have so much Johnny Cage merch!!!!

💫 Any kind of doll or stuffie made of him, you've already got it!!

💫 You've even got some shirts with his old movie designs

💫 Mostly you have these because he gets a copy of almost anything ever made of him (and he likes to spoil you <3)

💫 Older Johnny has kinda left his old Hollywood life behind, joining the military and doing some movies here or there

💫 He's settled down, more to Earth than his other selves

💫 That will not stop him from buying anything you want, no matter the price

💫 You want a yummy treat? What kind? He's already got his wallet put

💫 He knows you have a thousand and one plushies . . . But a few more can't reeeeeeally hurt anyone

💫 You are his baby and nothing is allowed to harm a hair on your head

💫 You think your clingy? Psh, you haven't seen Cage Clingy

💫 Constantly wants to hold or coddle you, your just so cute!!

💫 But like, he guesses he can let you go run off, but he has to be nearby and you have to be in eye distant!!!

💫 Matching Johnny Cage inspired jammies (he happened to have them already)

💫 He has a habit of babying you even if you regress older

💫 If you like being treated like a princess/prince/royalty? Brilliant!! He's got you covered!!

💫 If you want more independence, he's decent with it, and will treat you more your age

💫 Finds middlespace regresses entertaining (mostly if your an emo regressor)

💫 Loves making bracelets and drama when your bigger

💫 Drama can be almost anything, including this dramatic thing that happened in your favorite TV show

💫 Babble encourager!!!

💫 Full blown conversations with babblers, he thinks they're adorable

💫 If you want to have him dress up and have a tea party, he's so for it

💫 Make him wear a tiara and tutu, he'll do it with pride

💫 Will also let you paint his nails any color you want

💫 While he loves and babies you, he also puts his foot down >:(

💫 If your a rule breaker, prepare for a bunch of timeout time, because there's almost not changing his mind (unless you regress really small)

💫 Won't punish you if it was an accident though, he's not terribly mean

💫 If you ever offer to spar or wrestle him while your tiny, he'll generally laugh

💫 Not at you!! Well, kinda

💫 It's just, your so cute!! Thinking you could beat him up, that's so adorable 🥺

💫 He'll let you fight him though (and probably let you win, but you don't reeeeally gotta know that)

💫 He'll treat you with ice cream when you ‘win’

💫 He's getting old, but he's got the energy he had when he was in his 20s (y'all he's like almost 60 in MK11 can you believe that??)

💫 If you regress as base, your either right by his side holding his hand, or your always in reach just in case

💫 There is a not touching rule on everything if your small on base, there's a lot of dangerous stuff and Johnny's not having you get hurt

💫 He'll do his little “Here's Johnny!!” while playing peek-a-boo

💫 Sometimes he'll egg you on to do naughty things he finds funny (like prank Sonya by putting a bit of salt in her coffee)

💫 Will also take the blow when Sonya starts getting pissy because someone (👀) ruined her coffee

💫 Your naptime? Nuh-uh. Our naptime 😎

💫 Man's old, he'd love to just laze around and cuddle

💫 But he's also got the spirit of a child, and would love to run around with you

💫 If your small while he's working out, he'll laugh as you try to pick up his weight

💫 He'll probably give you one of those workout balls or some super light weights so you can be just like Daddy :D

💫 . . . Dad jokes 😒

💫 And sometimes they're not even good!! Most times they're just to poke or annoy you!! >:(

💫 Most times they're actually really funny though

💫 Favorite CG nicknames are Daddy, Dada, Papa, Bubba, and literally anything you wanna call him

💫 Your go-to babysitters are Sonya and Cassie

💫 (Maybe also Jax and Kenshi)

💫 Cassie and Sonya both love you, you've got the whole Cage family behind your back

💫 Favorite little nicknames to call you are Princess, Baby Girl/Boy, Little One, Sweetiepie, Honey, Little Star

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I hope they're more MK11 Johnny and not MK1 Johnny, and I can always do more or something like that. <3

#age regression #agere #sfw age regression #age regression headcanons #mortal kombat agere #sfw agere #mk agere #mk11 headcanons #mk11 #mortal kombat 11 headcanons #mortal kombat 11 #mortal kombat x #mkx #Johnny cage x reader #mk11 johnny cage #mk11 Johnny cage x reader #mkx johnny cage x reader #cg johnny cage #caregiver Johnny cage

[scorchingbread]

Grim x gn!reader who isn't keen on physical touch

(Gender of reader isn't mentioned)

Cw: sexual scenarios discussed, handjobs,dislike of physical touch being talked about in depth + it's worries. Please let me know if I missed anything :)

MINORS + AGELESS BLOGS DNI I'M TIRED OF BLOCKING YOU

Spoiler: grims name, ending 3

(I totally didn't base this off of my own feelings whatsoever... Psh what?)

842 words

You were laying in bed facing the ceiling with Casper laying beside you. You just couldn't help but think about yesterday when you decided to go all of the way with him. It wasn't that you weren't attracted to him or didn't feel any desire, but you couldn't help but shake the feeling that it was... Uncomfortable. You never really liked being touched and you thought that maybe this time with someone you really loved that maybe it would be different, but it wasn't. The worst part is that you enjoyed him being happy and getting satisfied, and you don't want to take that away but you can't just set aside your own feelings for that.

"Sunshine, are you okay?" You snap out of your thoughts and turn to see Casper facing you with a worried look on his face.

"I just..." You sit up and pause for a second. Is it really okay to bring up? Would it hurt him? Would he take it the wrong way? Screw it. He's given up being a grim reaper and is in hiding just for you, so maybe... maybe he would actually understand since he knew you had built up the courage so far for physical affections. "I was thinking about last night, and I have some... Complications."

"What about last night?" He raises an eyebrow and still has a look of worry on his face. Casper sits up as well and turns to face you completely, having his full attention.

"Well.... The thing is... Oh how do I go about this." You trust him, but it's just so hard to put your feelings into words. "I didn't really enjoy it. The sex... It's not that I don't like your or am not attracted to you, I am, it's just... It was too overwhelming and uncomfortable. I liked seeing you satisfied, but I don't know if I could put myself through it again." You look at him worried about what his reaction might be to this information.

"Sunshine..." He brushes some of you hair out of your face. "I'm glad you told me. It's okay. You love me and am attracted to me, so that's all I can ask for. I wouldn't want you to do something you're uncomfortable with just for my own pleasure." You can't help but feel emotional. It just felt so nice to hear those words.

"T-thank you. That means a lot actually. I don't know what exactly I expected you to say, but it truly means a lot to me. Normally I have people push my boundaries or not believe that I could be uncomfortable from touch, but you've been very understanding." Casper frowns when he hears what happens to you when discussing boundaries with other people and he sighs.

"You shouldn't have to thank me for being understanding... I'm your boyfriend after all. A thousand curses on the people who treated you that way in the past." By the look on his face you can tell he is definitely trying to curse those people from your past. "So tell me... Just so everything is clear, what 𝘢𝘳𝘦 you comfortable with sunshine?"

"Well... I like your kisses and hugs, and I'm fine with touching you myself... I liked when you held onto me too, but full on sex? That was just too much for me to handle." You lay it all out for him, it's best that he knows how you feel especially since he actually cares to know. "But the problem is that I still want you to be able to have pleasure in our relationship. I don't want it to feel like I'm taking away something from you."

"Sunshine..." He pauses for a second. "Though you don't have to. If you are 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘭𝘺 worried about this I'm sure we could come up with something that would still be comfortable for you."

"Really?"

"Yes. You said you don't mind touching me yourself?"

"That's right... Oh maybe... Just maybe... That might work." Suddenly you had an idea. One that would fulfill both of you in this situation. "Say what if... What if we stuck to me giving you hand jobs. You could sit in front... And I could wrap my arms around you. Or o could even sit in front of you, if you wanted me to get a nice view?" Suddenly your mind is wondering to the possible scenarios. It's a simple solution and one that you wish you could have thought of sooner.

"That sounds..." You could see the blush creeping onto Casper's face and he brings up his hand to try and hide his embarrassment. "I like the sound of that. I'm glad we could... Figure this out so to say."

#dwd #a date with death #a date with death x reader #dwd x reader #dwd casper #a date with death casper #casper x reader

[suengmi]

arguing with seungmin bc he doesnt display his affection in public so you think he’s embarrassed of you or doesnt love you. hurt/comfort pls

genre: long time friends to lovers, romance, angst/hurt, gn!reader warnings: cuss words, lil heated smoochin, mentions of intimacy, drinking/mentions of alcohol, eating/food, mentions of anxiety, not completely proof read!!!! i will fix any mistakes in morning!! word count: .............3k.... oops -- part 2 -- part 3

a/n: omg absolutely!!! i hope you like what i've written!!!!! i rly enjoyed writing this also seungmin doesn't get enough love... ill die on that hill anon

but yeah i did a bit of a back story for this and got carried away WHY DO I HAVE TO GO SO HARD I HAVE THINGS TO DO

♫ currently: running through the rain - yugyeom

╌╌╌╌ "is it me?"

you remember the first time you met seungmin. it was in year 11 high school, a while back now. you remember how it was raining the day you met, you remember how he was sitting in your allocated seat (the back row on the left). you remember how it was science class with the teacher who had bad teeth. you remember his bug eyes wide while scrolling through his phone and his fringe sitting on the top of his square glasses. you thought he was cute, in his own world mindlessly focused on his phone.

and you especially remember the way his head turned slightly as he was looking at his phone, bottom lip gently being chewed on while he was deep in thought.

but all of that seems distant now when you can feel the lump in your throat, almost like you're going to cough. "i think i like you?" you say in a confused tone, basically like a question you probably meant to think and not say out loud.

it had been about 7 years since you'd known seungmin, best friends ever since. he had been there through everything. your break ups, your ups and downs and you for his. you'd seen each other naked, seen the worst of each other but also the best. you had grown together as friends but more importantly as individuals. he cooked and you cleaned, it was a give and take.

seungmin had recently broken up with his partner of 2 years, and for some reason everything about them gave you the irk. the way they looked at him, the way they talked to him and especially the way they kissed him. every time you witnessed the displays of affection, a low twinge would sink into your chest. 'i just don't like them.' you'd say whenever seungmin confronted you about your attitude.

"you what?" seungmin laughs lightly, attention turning from the tv to you, chowing down on the kebab he had bought after you and your friends had a night out.

you take a sip of the coke in your hand, "yeah, i dunno."

seungmin laughs once more before realising that you might be serious. his expression turns sour, lip curling upward, "psh, you wish." he jokes, trying to brush off the probably drunk talk.

you needed to try something.

"seungmin, hey." you try to say softly, but it comes out more like a demand for attention. "i'm gonna try something."

he turns his gaze to you, eyebrows raised and mouth probably still full of kebab and kind of looking like a chipmunk. you stare at his lips, and you feel like he knows what you're going to do in a way. he swallows, but does nothing, just sits still and waits for your next move.

your kiss is gentle, lips just barely pressing to his. but within a moment you feel him press back against you, almost aggressively. it sends jolts down to your lower stomach, strokes of tingles running up and down your body. you can feel the way he's asking for permission to enter, just to taste a bit more.

so you allow him entry, feeling the softness of his breath against your lips as he changes directions. you let out a soft whine as he kisses you deeper, his body now aiming to lean over yours.

"'fuck.'" you pull back before he can deepen the kiss that's possibly gone too far. he's left slightly confused, but continues to take another bite of his kebab, as if nothing happened.

you groan in annoyance, arms falling beside you, coke spilling on the ground. "fuck, i do like you."

he chuckles, definitely not even worried about what just happened, "makes sense why you didn't like my ex, how long?"

-

you didn't talk for a day after, trying to process everything that happened. you left his house without a single thought, fleeing the crime scene you left behind.

it was a waiting game, seeing who would cave an text first. it wasn't like you hadn't kissed him before, a few times over the years - just as an affectionate gesture of how much you loved your best friends (which mostly happened when you were drunk).

as if ripping you from your thoughts you hear your phone buzzing on your lap.

"shit." you mumble under your breath, looking at the flashing photo of seungmin. it was one he sent you back in your days at university together when he did a charity event for kids. extra credit and all.

you let out a defeated groan, flapping your hands on the couch. you let out a held breath, composing yourself in time to answer the phone, you know that he'll just call ten more times if you don't answer, he always did.

"what?" you say stern, it was common for you to answer the phone like this.

"what?" seungmin mocks you before speaking plainly, "what you doin' tomorrow?"

you get up from the couch, walking towards your bedroom just to get your body to move. "nothing, day off."

"let's go out."

-

so yeah, this is how you ended up in this situation. you had been out a few times, just getting dinner but everything seemed normal at first? he hadn't made a move, just bought you dinner and taken you out more than usual. he didn't hug you like he used to, if anything he was keeping his physical distance. you were beginning to think he just wanted to forget about it, the kiss and the whole damn night of flirting you seemed to forget you did. it had been a month since this mess, a damn month.

you had spoken to a few of your other friends about it but no one had answers. anxiety welled up in your chest anytime you wanted to bring it up, knowing that the answer might not be the one you want.

it was getting to the point where you could barely sleep.

-

it was about the seventh time seungmin had invited you out on a 'date'. the clouds were hovering in the sky, looming over as if a bad omen. you two had decided to go and get some new clothes, but ended up with nothing but bubble tea and a few snacks, a recurring theme in your friendship all these years.

seungmin was talking about a new game he was playing, speaking intently about how his kill count was better than the rest of your friend group.

you looked down at his hand, just hanging by his side idly. you wanted to hold it, to feel his hands in yours. you were desperate to know what it was like with these new found feelings. to get even just a taste of the feeling you had that night you kissed.

so in step, you muster the courage to do so. you grab one of his fingers as you both continued to talk, hoping he would think nothing of it. unfortunately you were met by a jolt, seungmin pulling his hand back within a second.

he pretended it didn't happen, continuing to talk about whatever he was just now.

you stop in your tracks. it only took him a moment to notice, his expression blank as he turns to you. "you good?" he questions, taking a sip of his bubble tea.

"is it me?" you spit, anger laced in your tone.

"what?"

"what the fuck are we doing seungmin? is it me?"

he lets out a breath, rolling his eyes, as if he know exactly what he was doing. "i don't know what you mean."

he was playing dumb. he knows exactly what he did, he knows exactly how you feel. he's the one that asked you out, he's the one who asked to take this further.

"we go on dates, well," you huff, "not even-"

"and?" he questions interrupting you, feigning ignorance slapped on his face.

"are you... embarrassed of this? of what we're doing? are you just doing this not to hurt me? the fuck is wrong with you?"

he licks his lips, eyes avoiding you at all costs. "i genuinely don't know what you mean."

you scoff, the audacity of him taking you by surprise. "don't play dumb."

he says nothing, eyes downcast and guilty.

"you don't just- just kiss me back, then call me and ask me out and leave me hanging for a fucking month, a month seungmin! if you don't have feelings for me then fucking tell me. i'm not a little fucking baby, i can handle it." you feel tears well in your eyes, your tone accusatory and pointed.

''it's not that-"

you control yourself, resisting the urges to cry, "oh what is it then? you just enjoying playing with me like you played with your ex for those last six months?"

seungmin juts his jaw, anger sudden and present in his expression. "that's unfair."

you smile in disbelief, tongue running over your teeth, feeling almost insane at this point. "it's not."

you both stand in silence, trying to grasp at the right words to say but you're just hurt. so fucking hurt and you don't know if you'll ever be able to recover from this. seungmin knows you hate dishonesty even if it hurts, but he can't muster the courage to tell you what's really bothering him. you're surprised by his next move.

"it's you!" he blurts out, definitely yelling at this point.

"oh so it is me? i'm the fucking problem?! are you that embarrassed to be with me? do you just...not love me? ugh, fuck you seung-"

he raises his free hand forward in submission, trying to rectify his point, "it's because it's you. it's just... you." his expression turns somber as he speaks.

you frown, mouth open ready to say something, nothing comes out but, "elaborate."

seungmin sighs before throwing his bubble tea now empty into his bag. "it's just..." he trails off. you give him a moment. he had always been like this, not knowing the right words to say.

"i've been having trouble with... this." he speaks slowly, his eyes avoiding your own, gesturing between the two of you.

"obviously," you say in a snarky tone.

seungmin points to the set of benches near by. you walk before him, sitting down on the bench. he slowly sits next to you, little too close for the moment, his thigh is basically melded against your own. you were used to it after all, knowing each other all these years. closeness wasn't something you were afraid of but now, it made you uneasy.

"i know you like to interrupt but just... hear me out, okay?"

your lips curl to the side as you fold your arms over your chest at his remark, he's right though.

you just nod, willing to hear what your best friend has to say. any answer is better than not knowing what the hell was going on.

"that night you kissed me," he begins, looking out to the dark clouds, "it honestly... i don't even know what to think of it. i kept replaying it in my head, it's not like we haven't kissed before you know, and the fact that i kissed you back..."

you nod at him, understanding what he's beginning to say. fuck, he's going to do it. he's going to break my fucking heart.

he sighs, his hands fumbling in front of him, "it kind of makes sense doesn't it? you know my ex and i... i was completely empty for those last six months. they started to, i guess, notice things about you."

you frown in thought trying to put a finger on what he was talking about, arms still folded in front of you.

he starts speaking again after taking in a deep breath. "there was a night before we broke up. they couldn't stand you, couldn't stand the relationship we had and how long we had been friends. i just assumed it was because they were insecure, not because of us. but i think-" he pauses for a moment, gathering his thoughts, "i think they knew you liked me and that i favoured you over them. maybe they just saw it before we did."

you speak after a moment of silence, "before saw what? our feelings?"

"yeah," seungmin laughs, his head jerking to the side, "sexual tension so thick you could cut it with knife apparently."

you hum, kind of picking up the pieces now, sensing the direction it's going. "alright..."

he stands up and speaks plainly while walking in a circle, feet kicking some rocks on the ground, "you know every time you've stayed over, prior to you know, that night. i honestly just..."

"seungmin-" you interrupt, standing from your seat.

"let me finish." he says sternly, eyes still wondering around anywhere but you. "after we broke up, i started noticing things about you. like... things. maybe even before."

you hum, sucking on your top lip, listening intently to what he's saying. you're doing your best not to interrupt, words practically wanting to jump out of your mouth but you know he needs some time to speak carefully, to form the words he needs.

"you remember when you stayed at mine the night after i broke up with my ex?"

you think hard, remembering how confused he was that it happened. he never told you the exact details of what went on but you know if it was necessary to tell you he would of.

"mhm..." you nod, letting him continue.

"i thought, i thought i was just looking for comfort. you're my best fucking friend, and yeah, that's what best friend's do you know? and what i was thinking about you was just... nah. i hated myself for it, hated that i looked at you differently. hated that my ex knew exactly what i was thinking without me even knowing. it just all makes sense but, but now. what they said made so much sense, everything i do ends up with you, it always has."

he takes another breath in, hands messily pushing his hair back. he looks frustrated, like he's saying the wrong words.

"when you were in my bed that night, in my t-shirt, the one you always wear when you come over. saying you like how it smells every damn time you wear it, it drives me insane."

seungmin sits back down, his eyes tense and searching yours. it's silent for a moment. he nudges your leg, "help me out, please?"

you laugh, grin spreading across your face, kindness in your tone as you speak, "i thought you told me not to speak."

he was just scared. just scared of this. scared of what this would become. and you were too, he just showed it differently than you did.

he smiles softly, realising that he should have come to you, talk to instead of pushing you away. he huffs, "am i making any sense?"

"yeah, not really."

he sighs, rubbing his face in his hands. "i'm sorry. i'm just not sure how to go about this, and i just, feel like i'm doing something wrong if you want to touch me. i know you want to take this further and trust me i do as well but i'm just so fucking nervous. i don't know why, i've seen you naked a bunch of times and not cared."

"here," you say holding out your hand, "gimme."

he's hesitant for a bit, turning his eyes to ogle down at your hand, nerves building in his body. as soon as he feels his skin come in contact with yours, all the blood in his body seems to streamline straight to his hands, fingers alighting when he softly presses his palm into yours, carefully melding your fingers together.

"this okay?" you question, searching his face for answers.

"yeah... yeah it is."

"you could have just told me." you scoff, "you're such a bitch when it comes to your feelings."

he laughs at your remark but doesn't retort, just stands up pulling you with him. "where we going? we're not done!"

you walk hand in hand for a bit, checking in with him every now and then to see if he's okay with this. you don't want him to jolt again, nightmare fuel that was. you both agree that you'll talk more in depth when you get back his, knowing it's important to communicate since this is a seven year friendship, not just someone you had a meet-cute with. you end up talking about his game again, and notice how he squeezes you hand slightly whenever he gets excited.

-

the clouds had finally let out the rain they had been holding in since the morning, it throws you back to the day you met seungmin. but all of this, it still feels surreal, fairies dancing in your heart making it thump with excitement.

it didn't take long until you're both splayed out in the back seat of his car, your body on top of his. not one of you dare speak a word, not wanting to ruin this perfect moment of white noise from the rain mixed in with the sound of your own heated breaths.

you had so many questions, so many things you needed to know. when did he start? did he always like me?

but for now, with his soft large lips against your neck, trailing their way to your jaw slowly and precisely, you knew it was all you needed.

it was always you, always had been.

-

a/n: I THINK I WANNA DO A PART 2???????? HELLA maybe ill make it smutty

this was way longer then i was gonna make it fuck sake i always do this alkjsdlkajdljaslkjsj

#seungmin #kim seungmin #!mywork #seungmin x reader #seungmin x gn reader #seungmin x male reader #seungmin x f reader #stray kids fic #stray kids #!prompt #seungmin x m reader #stray kids x reader #stray kids angst #stray kids romance fic #!romance #!hurt #!ftl #seungmin x fem reader #stray kids x gn reader #skz fic #skz x reader

[blushblushbear]

Could you write some tickle headcanons for the main 12 (Cashew and Reece included)? Thank you!!

did all of em cause fuck it also threw in the new fox boys WHOO

Nimh - rarely tickles, Likes being tickled sometimes, very ticklish on his everywhere but especially his sides

Volks - Likes tickling as a playful tease, likes being tickled only sometimes and usually in private, not very ticklish but is most ticklish on his tummy

Kelby - likes tickling as a tease but rarely thinks about it unless it's in retaliation, likes being tickled but only cause he likes being touched, he's not really ticklish at all, most sensitive on his sides though

Eli - LOVES to tickle for any reason he can think of, LOVES to be tickled, is ticklish everywhere, always hoping it's a back and forth

Anon - Rarely tickles (ew germs), doesn't like being tickled often (ew germs), isn't really ticklish anywhere, will only ever tickle or accept tickles from you

Garret - doesn't remember to tickle, is usually only a target for tickling, likes to be tickled, is ticklish everywhere, this is fun, he's having fun

Dmitri - Will tickle often, wants to be tickled often, not ticklish at all, just wants both of you touching each other

Ichiban - will tickle as a power move, sees all tickling as a power move, is very ticklish, this is tickle war

William - will tickle lightly as play, will accept tickling, not partickluarly ticklish (da dum psh)

Myx - will initiate tickles if you don't first, will take any tickles given to him (by you), isn't that ticklish, mostly giggling cause he likes to giggle

Stirling - Does not tickle, will accepted being tickled only by you, not really ticklish but will use tickles as a jumping off point for /other things ;3/

Scale - tactical tickling, is weak to being tickled, is very ticklish, please do not abuse this power

Sven - Will tickle for fun, likes to be tickled for more fun, very ticklish, it's funny!

Cole - doesn't think to tickle, will accept tickling from you cause it's your touch, not ticklish in the least but please do keep trying--- it's cute

Poe - will tickle upon request, not super hype about being tickled but will always accept it if it's you, has ONE tickle spot that is a secret he will take to his GRAVE

Cashew - doesn't usually think to tickle, usually the targeting of tickles, LOVES tickles, is EXTREMELY ticklish, you will tickle him into submission with little effort

Seth - tickles as tease and torture, LOVES when you tickle him, he's not ticklish though, but he thinks it's cute to see you try (also more touches pls B3 )

Logan - will tickle as play! loves to be tickled back! tickle fight! if you loose your breath he will gladly resuscitate you ;3

Reece - tickles out of curiosity, is tickled out of curiosity, final scientific analysis: *giggling noises*

Aki - WILL tickle at any opportunity, LOVES when you return the favor, the challenge is for both of you to find the other's most ticklish spots GO!

Haru - LOVES to tickle, LOVES to be tickled, he's not ticklish, but he LOVES it B3

Fuyu - wouldn't think to tickle, is always surprised to get tickled, loves your touch and is both dreading and hoping for the day you find his tickle spot

I HAVE NEVER SEEN OR WROTE THE WORD TICKLE SO MANY TIMES IN MY LIFE

#bear text #blush blush #blush blush game #bb game #bear talks #bb #bear answers

[ad0rechuu]

★ MILKY WAY. ━━ (000) ASK THEM ANYTHING part 2

💌 ZERO SAYS. wow it’s over! it feels bittersweet and emotional! i can’t believe it to be honest, it doesn’t feel real yet but i am very grateful for everything and also for the questions! i deleted the asks bcs i’ll answer it here but i got nearly teary eyed reading trough them again! i wanna be sappy and continue talking but ill keep it to myself for now because i think i should say everything in the afterword <3 i love you and i hope you’ll enjoy the last (special) chapter of mw! you can find part 1 here

❪ # i ❫ : What inspired your solo "Milky Way"? ━━ to yn

from @meginthebuilding27

YN : i was watching a drama when i wrote the music but the lyrics wouldn’t come to me, that was until i started writing with hwa, san and mingi, afterwards it was easy and i just wrote how they made me feel

❪ # ii ❫ : Did you ever think about the fact that she would find your fan accounts / So my question is would you all have ever told Yn about your fan accounts if sera never put two and two together? ━━ to psh, csn & smg

from @meginthebuilding27 & anon

SEONGHWA : I feel ashamed saying this but I don’t think I expected our relationship to ever progress to the point where telling her could be considered a possibility to be honest

SAN : I considered telling her when she found out about my crush but then I just couldn’t

MINGI : No it never even crossed my mind

❪ # iii ❫ : What did you feel when you finally released your first single? And how do you expect it to be perceived as from fans, what feelings should we get? ━━ to yn

from @jaehunnyy

YN : It was insane, I released it as a distraction for myself but instead it made me miss them more. As for the fans, it was a lot better perceived than I expected but I think everyone should make up their own meaning about it, it’s more fun that way. (However I wrote it with the intention of capturing the feeling of falling in love)

❪ # iv ❫ : What team are you guys on? Team Hwa, San, or Mingi? If possible please justify your answers ? ━━ to ateez (except psh, cs & smg)

from @seonghwaddict

HONGJOONG : Team Hwa! I hate to pick favorites but I was going to try to set Seonghwa up with Yn before I knew that she was his idol just because I think they would fit together like puzzle pieces

YUNHO : Team Mingi! Because he’d commit a war crime if I would say anything else

YEOSANG : Team Yuna! I like chaos and she can do so much better than these losers

WOOYOUNG : Team San! I trust Yn with san, San can’t be handled by just anyone you know, it takes a special kind of person

JONGHO : Team leave-Jongho-out-of-this.

❪ # v ❫ : I just wanna know their love languages! ━━ to yn, psh, csn & smg

from @tocupid

YN : I think my love language is words of affirmation! I like them all!

SEONGHWA : Definitely quality time, I think the ultimate type of love is the type where you can just be around your person doing whatever comfortably

SAN : Physical Touch!

MINGI : Korean!- Oh that type of language… hmm maybe gift giving, I’d love to spoil her

❪ # vi ❫ : What qualities of Yn made Seonghwa, San, and Mingi fall in love? (You don't have to go into major detail but I want to know about this from your perspective as the author) ━━ to psh, csn & smg (but answered by zero)

from @alixnsuperstxr

FOR SEONGHWA : I think Yns kindness and caring side made Seonghwa go from being a fan to being in love with Yn, the way she treats the people around her makes him want to take care of her in return. He tried really hard to separate the Yn he got to know as an idol and the Yn he got to know as a friend but he found that they were identical which made him want her even more

FOR SAN : For San it was Yns passion and love, this one is quite straightforward! San adored Yn the moment he saw her but what pushed him over the edge and made him fall in love was that she has so much love for everyone around her and craft

MINGI : Yns sense of identity and vulnerability, Mingi would always worry about the hate Yn received and get worked up about it (he still kinda does) but after seeing how she handles everything he was so impressed, the administration turned into love. She allows herself to feel hurt without changing herself because of what others think and he thinks she’s the coolest for it

❪ # vii ❫ : I know that in the group chat, each member has a different endgame and an idea of who Yn should pick, but why is that?? What makes them think they are suitable for Yn?? ━━ to ksg, fts, psj & syn

from @alixnsuperstxr

SEULGI : I chose Seonghwa because I know him the best out of the three, I’m not saying the others are not great but he’s just so sweet, I trust him to take care of my little sister well

FATOU : To be honest at first I chose Mingi just because he’s hot but then I noticed that she never has not a smile on her face when talking about him, which is sickeningly adorable

SWAN : *sigh* I’m guessing I can’t choose Park Taegyu huh? Just kidding! I choose whoever makes the Yn happiest

YUNA : Obviously I’m team YNNA first and foremost but I like how open san is about his feelings, something about him makes me think that Yn would always be his top priority

❪ # viii ❫ : How long has Sera had feelings for Yn?? ━━ to srw

from @alixnsuperstxr

SERA : I guess it started a while before I left, I’m not sure but I remember that it was very intense feeling that I haven’t felt since then

❪ # ix ❫ : if you could go back in time do you think you would change your mind about leaving (during trainee years)? If no, you would still leave, would you keep contact with yn this time? ━━ to srw

from @kodzumo

SERA : There is no point in crying over spilled milk but I do think the idol career was never meant for me, so yes I would leave but I’d keep contact with Yn and love her without being a coward… maybe in our next lives

❪ # x ❫ : What were you guy’s favorite songs off ‘Le Astre’? ━━ to psh, csn & smg

from @ kodzumo

SEONGHWA : I love the intro Body Language but I don’t think that counts so I choose Blue Flame

SAN : Loveade, no question!

MINGI : Other than the title track, I’d choose Deep!

❪ # xi ❫ : Has Lee Hyori answered any of your mail yet? ━━ to jwy

from @ kodzumo

WOOYOUNG : Sadly, no. However I’m now friends with Yn and Seulgi and Seulgi knows Boa who probably knows Lee Hyori so I’m staying hopeful!

seulgi’s note : Am I planning to give Wooyoung Boa’s number-?! Why in the world does he need her number?

❪ # xii ❫ : How is it seeing how far Yn has grown as a person from when you guys were younger? ━━ to khj

from @ kodzumo

HONGJOONG : It makes me super proud of her, I didn’t know she’d become an idol but I always knew she’d do great things- Don’t tell her I said that though

❪ # xiii ❫ : When are you free for a date (I’m literally spiderman pls)? ━━ to jyh

from @ kodzumo

YUNHO : I’m can plan something every day other than Monday’s, Thursday’s and Friday’s (because I work on those days), I love you so much Spiderman!

❪ # xiv ❫ : Have you shown yn your star wars lego collection yet (i also collect them hehe)? ━━ to psh

from @ kodzumo

SEONGHWA : We should be friends then! But I told her about it and she thought it was very cool, hopefully the next time I can show her them

❪ # xv ❫ : Not a question but I love you guys <3 ━━ to kys & cjh

from @ kodzumo

YEOSANG : You love m-me?

JONGHO : …Okay

author’s note : despite their answers both participants are blushing profusely

❪ # xvi ❫ : Also not a question but you guys are so cool I love you guys so much as well ━━ to star

from @ kodzumo

STAR : Thank you so much! We love you too of course!

yuna’s note : You love us more than them right??

swan’s note : Please feel free to ignore Yuna’s note

❪ # xvii ❫ : I just wanted to tell you how proud I am of you and I hope you have the best day, mwah <3 ━━ to yn

from @ kodzumo

seulgi’s note : Yn is currently crying about how much she appreciates this message but I’m here to say that she is having a great day and she’s proud of you too

fatou’s note : She’s going on a date soon!

❪ # xviii ❫ : Now that we know that sera likes Yn, how do you feel? Also how does it feel to be part of this whole thing where MinSanHwa like Yn, Yn liked you, you like sera, and sera likes Yn????? ━━ to ptg

from anon

TAEGYU : Sera likes Yn? Her liking someone other than me hurts less than I expected… to be honest I kinda started to lose feelings after Sera started getting distant around the time Yn confessed. Anyway I’m not surprised she likes Yn, after all my dongsaeng is great! And the whole Yns crushes situation stressed me out a little, so the only thing I really have to say is that I’m glad it worked out but I wish that Yn and me were both less oblivious haha! I also don’t think they like me very much

❪ # xix ❫ : Did you guys have any hope that Yn was going to forgive you the moment your accounts were revealed to her? ━━ to psh, csn & smg

from @ jaehunnyy

SEONGHWA : I didn’t think about hoping in the slightest, when she said that she needed time I thought it was just a nice way of saying “I don’t want to see ever again’

SAN : I definitely hoped that she did, because she’s a really sweet person and I couldn’t imagine that she wouldn’t but I didn’t think she’d ever consider a relationship like this again

MINGI : I don’t know if I would be able to forgive me but I always wanted keep hope so I was torn the entire time

❪ # xx ❫ : When did you guys know that Yn was the one for you? ━━ to psh, csn & smg

from @ jaehunnyy

SEONGHWA : I started feeling something when she was so genuine to everyone in one of our first conversations (ch 013)

SAN : Oh my god it was when I met her in real life for the first time, I think I liked her before but this was different! (ch 025)

MINGI : I’m not sure, at first I just liked spending time with her and talking to her but then all of a sudden I couldn’t imagine a world without her anymore (ch ???)

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[whoreadsnowadays]

Hi! Maybe you could do a fluffy ***PLATONIC***

X little brother reader? Like how they would interact and stuff? And maybe just general headcanons of them w/ a little brother. It can be either be 2012 or rise, I don't mind ^^

Take your time w/ this request ^^

Well I can certainly try my friend! Idk if u meant u wanted all four of the turtles but thats what I'm going with atm <3 apologies if they're a bit short, this is officially my first time writing for some of these guys <3

Rise Turtles with a little brother reader !

-

Little Bro

- Raph -

Oh get ready for Overbearing Mother Of The Year

Especially when you were really little, he needed to know where you were and what you were doing at all times

You, Leo, and Donnie had to beat the topic to death trying to convince Raph to even let you use the stove by yourself.

And Mikey ("You might burn yourself!!! You can't use the stove! Raph tell them they can't use the stove!") was not helping.

But when Raph isn't being the most helicopter mom you've ever had the misfortune of living with, he's really the best big brother you could ask for

Whenever you need advice or comfort or anything really, you always go to him

And even if he doesn't know what to do, he's good at giving you excuses that either make you laugh enough to keep your spirits up, or actually calm you down themselves.

He's really the best.

Now if only you could convince him to let you near the turtle tank.

- Leo -

Almost every second you're in sight he's showing off, like all the time

He really wants to be the Cool Older Brother to you and Mikey, and he's maybe trying a bit too hard

If you encourage him it will only escalate until he's doing dangerous stunts to impress you and get validation

And then Raph has to get involved and ruin his vibes :(

But if you tease him and (gently) make fun of him for showing off, he's gonna go "I dunno what youre talking about. Me?? Showing off??? Psh. No. I would never."

And then he'd sulk about it for an hour or two.

He just really wants you to think of him as your cool older brother who you can go to for cool advice.

- Donnie -

If you're up for it, and/or not too accident prone, you'll probably end up as his lab assistant.

Or at least he'll try to turn you into his lab assistant

And of course he pays you in brotherly affection. A pat on the head or a brief hug is your allowance for holding his things in place for him

And he also has a tendency to show you his inventions or gadgets first.

He'll finish something and turn to you with his mad scientist eyes and you have to hope and pray that his newest peice of tech doesn't involve something dangerous

He'd rather die than ever hurt you, but sometimes he just gets too excited to even realize he's waving around his dangerous weapons

Wear protective gear maybe.

- Mikey -

He's so excited to not be the baby of the family anymore you will not believe.

Though he has been 100% infected by the family bug, and is absolutely mother henning you almost as much as Raph.

You cook together really often, food is one of Mikey's love languages so cooking with him is one of your favorite activities

He lets you mix the ingredients and if you're baking he lets you lick the icing off the mixers

And he'll draw or play video games with you, literally indulge in almost any activity you want just to hang out with you

He'll absolutely crush you in almost every video game, and then proceed to beat you over and over under the pretense of "Oh its practice :)"

As much as it annoyed him when he was your age, he absolutely sides with Raph when he goes on his "You're too young!" Rants.

He's nodding along and occasionally adding in his own comments about how "you're just our baby brother you can't do that yet! You're too young! Too fragile!"

Also please dont think about all five of you sitting in a circle in front of Splinter's recliner, watching old Lou Jitsu and Jupiter Jim movies on repeat, just the five of you sitting in each other's company and relaxing for once. Yeah don't think about that.

(Reblogs > Likes)

#rottmnt x reader #rottmnt leonardo x reader #rottmnt michelangelo x reader #rottmnt donatello x reader #rottmnt raphael x reader #tmnt leonardo x reader #tmnt raphael x reader #tmnt michelangelo x reader #tmnt donatello x reader #tmnt x reader #Romeo Writes

[missjoolee]

20 questions writer meme!

Tagged by @onlygenxhere, Thank you!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 15 (I keep meaning to move tumblr fic over though)

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 62,690

3. What fandoms do you write for? Julie and the Phantoms like half Nancy Drew CW (it was a crossover)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A JatP Untitled Goose Fic 🦢⚠

I Hit Back a Little Louder

Oh My God, They Were Gymmates

A Kitty on My Foot and I Want to Touch It

Help! I've Fallen and I Can't Giddy-Up

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Ehhhhhh unreliably. I want to but get anxiety. I've been working on it and have done a lot better on more recent fic than older ones.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Me? Angst? Psh. girl please. i only tease the angst at friends via ps i love you au (😘) but like. maybe ch 2 of Help! I've Fallen and I Can't Giddy-Up or i've had some semi angst adjacent drabbles on tumblr. I guess. I'm not about that life.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? most are fairly open-ended but headed towards HEA. But i feel like maybe Live It Like It's Meow or Never because Reggie gets to be a cat and take a nap in the sun!

8. Do you get hate on fics? Nope.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I do not. I'm just starting to get comfortable writing slightly heated kissing 😅 (comfortable she says! HA! she had a mini panic attack writing the kiss in Justice, Over Easy)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Remember that half Nancy Drew CW fandom i mentioned earlier? I did a JATPxND ficlet that went over surprisingly well.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? nope

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? nope. i currently have a hard enough time writing with myself lol

14. What's your all-time favorite ship? i'm assuming this means to write since it's a writers ask game. Juke, but if i bring alex into it much, willie is bound to follow (him anywhere)

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? I had a really intense juke dream about a month ago... 2 months ago. that i started writing a scene from because honestly it was a pretty cool premise. but the further i get away from that night, the more other wips are being prioritized. maybe i will just share the morning text ramble of it i did in the group chat because i really do want to share something. I just don't think it will be a written out ficlet.

16. What are your writing strengths? IDEAS. I can see a thing happen and be like "BUT WHAT IF JUKE" for days on end. in apparently very strange places too. I feel like i have rather unusual premise for what i end up writing sometimes.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? despite knowing what a good narrative can look like, i immediately cannot recall it once writing. It's not like it's bad but i feel like it lacks a bit and reflects my short time since starting to write. Also, if i write it the simple dumb way to get it out of my brain. Chances are, it will take me 4 months to go from reading it and saying "well i wrote the thought out. it's there. it's done" unable to write it any different or better, to my editor brain kicking in and figuring out how to really say it.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? Um. If it's necessary within the realms of the plot and characters it's fine? I'm not multilingual so anything i did would be google translated or asking a friend that speaks it, so i don't really mess around with it. as a reader, if a fic on ao3 says it's in english, i normally don't want half a chapter to be in another language even if it is a native tongue to multiple characters since I don't know what they are saying without using a translator or scrolling to the bottom a/n so /shrug. take that as you will.

19. First fandom you wrote for? jatp. no other fandom i've been a part of has made me go quite this feral.

20. Favorite fic you've written? Picking a favorite is impossible. But I'd say i'm probably currently most proud of Help! I've Fallen and I Can't Giddy Up as it was the first (and only) chaptered fic that i've finished and i challenged myself with each chapter. But honestly, i add new elements to each fic i post, whether its learning new html, learning how skins work on ao3, making a gif/picture to go with it, or just challenging myself within the writing like getting more confident with intimacy.

I think I'm supposed to tag people so, @tangledstarlight @story-courty @writerownstory no pressure though!

#tag game #writers game

[pancake-breakfast]

Second week, second volume! Trigun Book Club!

Archive

Trigun Volume 1: Covers + 1-3, 3 Detailed Thoughts, 4, 4 DT, 5-6, 5-6 + DT, 6 DT, 7-8, 9-10

Stream-of-consciousness thoughts for Trigun Vol. 2, Covers + Extras, below.

Trigun Volume 2 Covers

The cover for this volume is so pretty, what with the plant all coming out of Vash's gun there.... Pretty and strange and kinda disturbing.

I wonder what's in those jars floating around the hairy-legged plant man thing. Are they even jars? Blood bags? Hard to say.

Hey! Wolfwood's on the back cover! WOLFWOOD IS ON THE BACK COVER!!!

Also, Legato Bluesummers. Shit.

Aaaand there's a blow-up doll on the fake back cover. Because why not.

There are a LOT of familiar faces on the back of the Japanese Volume 3 cover. I don't like it. They mean bad things are coming.

Ok, Legato's getting eaten by a shark on the fake version of it, though, and I think that's hilarious.

BUT NOT AS HILARIOUS AS MERMAID WOLFWOOD'S SEASHELLS AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'M DYING!!!! Nightow's obsession with this man's tits confirmed.

Extra 1: Day In Day Out

Ooh, a glimpse into the daily life of Mr. The Stampede? Why do I suspect donuts are part of it?

I'm gonna be honest; I did NOT peg Vash as an early riser. Then again, it might be important if you're on the run all the time.

LOL, I remember him not being very good at meditation.

I'm imagining that egg is hard-boiled. Or hollow. Like, this is still a good trick. No need to waste breakfast on it if it fails, though.

Three HOURS?? Dang, no wonder the guy's got skills. I can't do much of anything before breakfast.

Oh, fine. I guess it was a raw egg.

LOL, "John P. Smith." The most boring alias he could come up with. I wonder what the P stands for. Pseudonym, perhaps?

Psh, Vash can be plenty sneaky. But only in fights. Or when fleeing insurance agents.

Serious Vash expression! I seriously love all his expressions.

Gambling at chess. Ok, man. Whatever floats your boat.

LOL, he lost all his money. I take it back; he needs a new hobby.

Yeah, he's definitely letting the kids get him. As we see with how fast he switches to being the person in power when the motorcycle comes through.

Funny how much trouble one can stay out of by simply foregoing revenge.

Vash would like oldies....

Ew, this bike guy's kinda creepy.

"Sonic Sodom." Yyyyyeeeeaaaahhh, that's not exactly a name that inspires trust.

I love the irony in this panel. They're talking about how dangerous Vash is while he's (apparently) being taken down by a small child.

Dude. Who fires a gun to get people to shut up like that?! Rude.

LOL, the bleeping.

Props to this lady. She's like, "I don't care who you are. If you're gonna come in here, shoot things up willy-nilly, make threats, and swear at us, then you take your ass elsewhere." Like, this happens after this guy does all these things. Mad props.

They bleeped out all that stuff, but he still calls her a bitch....

Hahahaha, that's a wonderful way to take care of the issue. Good job, Vash!

Extra 2: Pilot

(Fair warning: I'm in a Mood as I write this due to some real life stuff, so apologies if it's overly vague or anything.)

Post-Hiroshima environment?? Damn.

Heck, I'd take two years of food as a form of payment....

Ahhhhh, this jacket! It lacks the sexy leg slits, but I still love it. Also it still somehow manages to show off his waist. And throwing the Love and Peace fingers with his clearly mechanical hand!

I'm in love with this first line. "We fell from the sky like droplets of rain." Poetry. MAJOR props to @trigun-manga-overhaul for their choices in both flow and rhythm for the words.

The second sentence is a lovely contrast, what with the rain versus the sun. But also a lovely parallel, as both images are destructive.

Covering a few additional elements here: metal, wind, sand/earth.

He can't ever escape being surrounded by graves, can he? Babygirl here needs a break. I love how small he is relative to the field of death.

HEY. The right alcoholic drinks are GREAT with ice!

Oh, shoot. I recognize this story from '98.

LOL, look at him go. This was my favorite Vash entrance in all of '98. It's very memorable. I hope Johnny Yong Bosch had a blast doing the voiceover for it.

He's just dancing away from the bullets, as if it's all just luck.

LOL, three guns. It's Trigun!

Goshdarn stupid flip-up glasses....

I love how quick his reaction goes from this (Seriously, what is he, a teenager??)...

...to this.

Psh, as if Vash the Stampede needs a measly pistol to wreak havoc.

Ah, the return of lecherous Vash. NGL, was kinda hoping that moment was an anime-only. Though they really took it and ran with it, though, didn't they?

You don't get to say, "That's no way to treat a lady!" to others when you were just looking up her skirt.

LOL, I love her response here. Perfect.

Huh. Something tells me these guys are after a bit more than a rich guy's "pocket money." Is it the fact that one of them shoved a gun in the daughter's mouth? Could be. Could be....

Distracting table-crash provided by... Vash the Stampede. I told you he didn't need a gun to wreak havoc. Though of course the whole incident gave the guy's friends time to restrain him and get him away from the girl before he did anything rash.

Look at him. He's just a little guy....

Vash, not taking any chances. Distraction might not be enough. Use Advanced Projectile Gum Technique!

This sure is a colorful cast of characters....

I'm just saying, they don't really seem like the type of folks the sheriff should have on speed dial.

I love how pissed off Vash looks as they're talking about how he'll kill them all if he shows up. This is the face of a man who's had it with your lies and slander.

Dude, the rich guy was like, "Just so long as my daughter lives," and the sheriff was like, "They'll do the job so long as you pay upfront," but girl's gonna get taken down in the crossfire.

Or, she would if Mr. The Stampede wasn't there.

The girl is physically ok, but mentally, she'll be scarred forever. That's some Hellsing/AoT-levels of, "This character is definitely dead."

Aaaand three panels later, Vash realizes he forgot to continue pretending to be tied up and tries to remedy the situation.

Bossman here (I mean the gang leader, not the actual character named Bostalk) was already suspicious of Vash. Now he's extra-suspicious.

Somehow, Vash revealing his identity has not made the Bossman less suspicious.

Vash, the multi-talented. He can fight and preach at the same time.

Oh, so the field of graves at the beginning isn't Vash's fault somehow. That's... good.

I mean, dear old dad might care a lot for his daughter, but he clearly stated he didn't give a shit about the lives of anyone else in the building.

Vash is disappointed in Bossman's life choices.

BTW, Vash's hair in this whole chapter just makes me think of thistle flowers.

Yes. Refusing to do so just leads to more cruelty.

Vash just let the guy shoot the man, huh?

Oh, he's not happy about it.

Ah, yes. There's the greedy sheriff I remember!

This sheriff mentioned his hired help didn't think anything of taking human lives, but it seems they're not the only ones.

Oh, no. Sheriff triggered Angry Vash.

Not really sure what happened in this panel save that Vash was at the center of a bunch of destruction. Again.

Ah, gun arm. I thought it might be gun arm. I couldn't remember.

I love the sheriff's expression here. Like, he literally has his own gun to Vash's face, and he's effing terrified.

Vash, dodging bullets again.

WTF, he shot him right in the badge. Talk about insult and injury. My boy knows what he's doing.

LOVE AND PEACE!!!

Hahahaha, everyone else just looks sooooo confused. Hopefully, they'll get it someday.

#thanks trigun #i was having a bummer of an evening #but i feel somewhat better now #trigunbookclub #trigun manga #volume 2 #pancake thoughts

[brendaonao3]

Hey so since you posted a mission: impossible thing I'm just gonna ask you:

Which do you prefer out of Mission: Impossible 2 and Mission: Impossible 3?

Hihi!!!

Please feel free to ask me ANY Mission: Impossible questions you want!!! I'm not only a huge fan of the film franchise - THE best action film franchise of all time (I said what I said) - but I also love the TV series for the over the top crazy late 60s/early 70s vibes and total mindfucks. :D

Okay, so, having said that - I'm going to give an honest answer - but I need to lay a few caveats: 1) I LOVE LOVE LOVE John Woo - I think he's a brilliant director and I'm a huge fan of both his Hong Kong films and his Hollywood films. I fully believe he and Ridley Scott are the 2 greatest living directors.

2) I cannot STAND JJ Abrams. And not just for what he did to Star Wars. He did his damnedest to ruin Star TREK first - a franchise he knew nothing about (and man, you could tell) - all to GET the Star Wars gig, and then fucked that up too. And we won't even get into all of the ways he should never be allowed to direct action or write women (yes, I know about Alias - again, I said what I said) or try to work on anything other than weird indies.

That being said - much as it pains me to admit it - MI3 is objectively a better film. I love MI2 because it shows how broken Ethan was after MI1 and losing his entire team and getting betrayed by his old mentor (not to mention, the IMF) and how hard all of those blows made him, until he met Nyah and she cracked that hard shell open and gave him back his purpose. The end of MI2 also perfectly sets up MI3 in that loving Nyah allowed Ethan to be open to Julia.

But MI3 has the superior villain (PSH might be the best MI villain if I'm honest) and introduces Benji and is the first to show us the behind the scenes machinations of the IMF and is the first film to really show us just how deep and true Ethan and Luther's friendship has become and it's also the first film that gives us the full scope of Ethan's skill set - his ability to quickly read people, the languages, the improvisation, the ingenuity, all of his weapons skills, the way he can pivot and make a new plan on the fly, his ability to train people, and his absolute inability to believe a job cannot be done.

And, most importantly, MI3 gave us Julia. I mean, look, I love Ilsa with my entire heart and soul, but Julia is still my favorite character after Ethan, because her arc is just brilliant in the way she goes from clueless civilian to survivor to protector. And she's the only person who knows Ethan at his core, all parts of him.

So yeah, as much as I hate JJ, I have to give him props for MI3.

#brenda answers things #mission: impossible #ethan hunt #julia meade #john woo #jj abrams #brenda has many opinions

[seungily]

TANGLED ATTACHMENT LHS, PSH

synopsis: sunghoon had broken up a month ago and needed time before you both actually started dating, he told you to stay aware of his bandmate, lee heeseung but what happens if you grow attached to him and find out your ‘boyfriend’s dirty secret despite you both loving eachother?

pairings: park sunghoon x afab reader x lee heeseung

genre: angst, toxic love, love triangle, slow burn, slight fluff?

warnings: toxic love, mentions of cigarette, tension, one night stands,

inspired by: @//parkjaycult ‘s “BOUNDARY_LESS PSH” and heavily inspired by ‘Friends - Chase Atlantic’

author’s note:: I RE EDITED IT HOPEFULLY ITS BETTER AND EASIER TO READ NOW 🧍🏻‍♀️

there he lies, right beside you. he looked miserable with swollen blood-red eyes and dark circles, his cheeks were tear-stained he had marks supposedly hickies all over his neck. Despite being his assistant and manager, you had no idea what he does or where he goes after 7 PM but always received a message from him after 11 PM to either pick him up from a random club or open the door because he was freezing, despite you never wanting to you always do let him in. I mean why won't you? He kept you accompanied through your lonely apartment. This was another reason you had a small minimalistic apartment you didn't want to feel lonely. 

Sunghoon on the other hand had broken up with his girlfriend of two years, Hyun-hee. You weren't sure why would anyone ever leave this perfect man? But who were you to say anything throughout the following 3 months Sunghoon continued to vent to you about his now ex but never mentioned the real reason why they fell apart. Regardless you comforted him and let him stay. Enhypen's manager never really minded him staying with you as long as you both did everything behind the scenes and Sunghoon was never late for his schedules. It led to the point you knew his smell, the time he'll text you and what his comfort foods were, can we say the same about Sunghoon knowing you? I guess not but the way Sunghoon would sometimes snuggle close to you deep in his sleep it made you think if you guys were just friends or more? 

Back to the present, your alarm rang waking Sunghoon up while you keep staring at his neck about the hickies or scars. "Is something wrong?" the boy asked rubbing his eyes while sitting up. "N-no you should freshen up and return to the dorms I'll drive you there" he only nodded in response and walked towards the washroom. You on the other hand just sat on the bed in denial you didn't know how to feel you knew this needed to stop before you grew more attached but you couldn't just run away.

After dropping Sunghoon at the dorms, Heeseung began to approach you "Shall we go?" the black-headed guy asked politely, "Huh?" "Oh did Jihun (manager) Hyung not inform you?" you were beyond confused when you suddenly received the message from Jihun himself.

From Jihun (Manager-nim) 

> YN! You have to take care of Heeseung's schedule as Nayeon is not well and I'm busy.

*sends schedule planner*

"YN you're still here?" Sunghoon's voice returns you to Earth "Oh.. Manager Jihun just texted me, I have to take care of Heeseung's schedule as his manager is sick and your schedule is empty today" YN said "Oh ok" he said almost upset. As you were about to leave with Heeseung, Sunghoon suddenly hugged you, "don't get too close with Heeseung I'll miss you" that somehow gave you butterflies even though this was a common skinship between the both of you, maybe his words were doing the effect but why did he even tell you to be careful of Heeseung? He seemed amazing even though you didn't know him that much. You quickly hugged him back and started walking with Heeseung beside you as it must've been awkward for him. 

You start the car and start driving to a studio where he is supposed to record a song cover "Off my face" by Justin Beiber, it was probably coincidental that you absolutely love that song and you were pretty excited to hear him sing it. He was extremely polite and both of you made some small talk, you were mostly closest to the maknae line and of course Sunghoon so it felt awkward at first. "Soo.. it seems that you and Sunghoon are pretty close are you guys.." "FRIENDS! yes ah-hah! " you say it in the most unconvincing way but he seems to believe it for the time being while you apologize for being loud he laughs it off and switches the topic as he could see you were quite uncomfortable. Soon enough you both arrived "Do you want to come inside?" He asked while taking the bag he decided to carry after losing his only AirPods that were in his pockets "Am I allowed to?" you ask while unbuckling the seatbelt. And here you are staring at his face while listening to his angelic vocals he maintained eye contact with you looking at the camera from time to time but looking at you as well. It somehow gives you butterflies even if you didn't know him that well. He stared at you throughout the "In love with you" part and you wouldn't lie, you felt yourself felt.

After finishing his schedule with him and dropping him off at the dorms, you went back home and decided to scroll through your notifications and schedules, it was 10:57 PM you knew he'd dm you anytime now but to your surprise, he didn't?it shocked you but you shrugged it off and just thought maybe he won't come today? even if it was unusual.. 

*ring ring* the bell rang as YN got up to open the door. "Open up I know you're awake," He said as if he'd breakdown any moment in a drunk as fuck voice. You open the door and he crashes down on you, completely hugging you with both of his arms and keeping his head in your nape taking in your fresh smell. "why would she leave me, was I not enough" he said in a droopy sad voice almost falling down as you carry him to sit on your couch and continue comforting him till 1 AM or until he was asleep, yes you took care of him you knew he deserved better, you just wanted him to feel loved.You took a closer look at his state, his hair looked freshly washed and fluffy eventhough it was messy, it looked as if he washed up and then went to the club, why? you'll never understand this man.he still had the scars from yesterday and maybe more? or were you just seeing things?  Either way you made sure to comfort him and made him feel loved, he always appreciated these actions towards him and would often cry and tell you how much he appreciates it, you really love his vulnerable side but t hurts you to see his tears sometimes.

You woke up feelings entangled in the sheets with another figure in your bed, that being sung hoon, you brushed hair off of his face when he started to wake up thanks to the sun being brighter than usual because you didn't pull the curtains, he holds you tighter in his embrace as he whispers a quite good morning and thank you for last night, that was enough to make you melt. If anyone saw you both in this state, they'd most probably think you both are dating, you both cuddled for a while before the blonde head spoke up again "how was it with Heeseung? Did he say anything? you thought for a while before shaking your head and said "just small talk and.." "and?" "nothing that special" you lied but you didn't want to make things awkward so that's how it was before you tried to get up but sat down again when Sunghoon pulled you towards him, he held you close to his chest you could hear his heart beating and he probably could too considering how fast your heart was beating. 

"Let's cuddle for a while," he said in his deep morning voice which you were used to, he snuggled closer to your neck while you couldn't even move. "Y-you have to mc today r-remember?" you mentally curse yourself for stuttering. He groans but lets you go, you exhale as you both freshen up and you decide to drive him back to the dorms, he adjusts himself in the passengers' seat as you began to drive. "I'm sorry for yesterday, I wanted to spend some time with you yesterday but-" you cut him off, "it's fine" you feel him smile through the corner of your eyes as he reaches down to your hand gently squeezing it. These small interactions meant a lot to you as they made you feel wanted. You loved it. You loved him. 

As you reached the dorms, Jihun informed you that you had to take care of Heeseung's schedule today as well even if you were aSunghoon's manager, the reason was obvious. Netizens were making rumors about Sunghoon and you dating, you were pretty enough to be an idol so speculations were that you're a trainee dating him so it was understandable what Jihun was trying to do but Sunghoon was definitely not pleased but you didn't mind because you were comfortable enough around him.

The whole day was fun with Heeseung , after finishing his photoshoot he took you to a cafe and now you both were sitting on a hill just looking at Seoul from afar. Sunghoon and Heeseung were different, extremely different. While you mostly had home "dates" with Sunghoon, Heeseung took you around the city into places you never even saw or knew. Both of them were equally fun. 

Heeseung broke the comforting silence with his question "Soo YN.. were you raised in Seoul?" you just dryly chuckle "No... but I always wondered how it'd be to live in Seoul and that's how i ended up here, I'm from a small island beside Jeju I came to Seoul to become a therapist or psychiatrist but I guess some dreams don't come true" you looked down and brought your knees to your chest. "Why did you suddenly become a manager, I mean it is something comepletely different from a therapist or medical field " he asked again "Mm.. I dont know.. it was because of my mother, my studies were going well until she fell sick and needed money for her medicines so I just took a job that I found" you suddenly chuckle feeling chilled by the weather, "Is she still?..." you shake your head "no.. I lost her" you say, your eyes now getting glossy. Heeseung got closer and hugged you tight "It's not your fault, you tried and id everything you could. I'm so sorry" You started crying pathetically in his embrace hugging him back, you lost your mother recently yet tried being strong, nobody had comforted you like this. None of your relatives lived with you so you kept blaming yourself. The night went on by you explaining on how alone you feel in this city and how Seoul wasn't the place for you. This felt different, new and you liked it. Sunghoon normally talked about his feelings to you and you never really minded because you wanted to protect and love him but you didn't kow how it felt to recieve the same love. Until tonight. 

It soon got pretty late and you drove Heeseung to his apartment instead of the dorm as most of them were with their familes or in their apartments. You realised that the key normally stays with his manager who was sick or Jihun, Heeeng had called Jihun but he wasn't picking up. You couldn't just leave him. "YN? If you want you can go home, I'll just stay at a hotel." he said breaking your thoughts. "No no what if sasaengs find you? How about you just stay at my house for tonight?" you don't know why you suddenly said that but you guess you didn't mind his presence anymore.

"I'll sleep on the couch" you offer and bring out a pillow from your bedroom buut he snatches it from you and says  "I don't want to bother you so I'll just sleep on the couch" "No what are you saying I can't do that to a guest" You say snatching ng the pillow back and it suddenly becomes a pillow tugging competition to a pillow fight. It looked like as if you both were kids but you needed to get revenge on him for hitting you on the head with the pillow. After a while of messing around you began "Okay let's just sleep on the same bed but put pillows in the middle is that okay?"you said exhausted and out of breath. THere is no way any of you would fit in your small couch so Heeseung just agreed.

Instead of sleeping you both just talked about random stuff, how Heeseung became a trainee, if you had any siblings, music taste and anything till 4 in the morning when Heeseung heard snores while he was explaing his childhood talent show. He surely adored your sleeping face and fell asleep watching you. 

You had woken up to your alarm and so had Heeseung, after turning off the alarm you couldn't help but laugh at how cute Heeseung looked . "Why what's wrong?" he asked rubbing his eyes "nothing you look adorable, you can go freshen up first then i'll drive you to the dorms" he just smiled and got up unlike sunghoon who would want to sleep 10 minutes more. As you said, you dropped him off at the dorms and went to Jihun's office.

Even if you didn't say or show it you were worried about what Sunghoon did after 7 PM and so by giving the excuse of 'forgetting his schedule' you asked Jihun where he went. "Oh? you don't know? he goes to the club and then a hotel as his schedule stays empty after mc'ing." Oh. It all made sense now, all those 'scars' him always coming after showering and drunk with the smell of women's cheap perfume. But why were you feeling like this? It's not like you both were dating or anything even jf you did confess? he had rejected you. You couldn't believe it. You thought he would've moved on. You knew you weren't the only one feeling this.

"Hyung? Where have you been?" Sunghoon asked the older boy, he didn't know if he should say that he spend the night at the house of his member's 'friend' or crush but he couldn't lie to him either. "At YN's place as we forgot the keys to my apartment" he said calmly, "Oh? so that's why she didn't call me?" the older one just sighed "Sunghoon you cant expect her to only run behind you, I know you love her you should just tell her.. stop going behind her back and doing shit how would she feel if she found out?" Sunghoon just scoffed "You should be the last person to tell me this after sleeping over at her place" he said slowly getting heated up, thankfully none of the members were home, Jake, Jay and Niki were recording while Sunoo and Jungwon were at their radio show."You don't own her, I'm not here to argue about her, just stop and confess to her before she finds out herself" he tried to be calm "Hyung you don't need to tell me what to do, I know her well enough to know what to do to win her over" he said ready to walk out when- "know he?" he laughs in between before continuing " do you even know what she was going through these few months when her mother died? No, youre to hung up on Hyunhee just give YN a chance stop fucking around." Heeseung snaps back before going to his room.

Sunghoon was speechless but still mad and possibly jealous over the fact that you let Heeseng stay over so he went to meet Jihun to ask why you hadn't come yet. "Oh YN, she took a break for a week" he said before going back into a phone call about a new brand deal while Sunghoon stood confused "why would you suddenly take a break?" Completing his schedule faster than usual he drives to your place, t was 6 PM a lot eralier than he usually would come, it was raining heavily so the sky was dark already. He had a bad feeling but he had to confront you, maybe even tell his feelings like Heeseung adviced?

He twisted the door knob and surprisingly it was unlock but that wasn't more shocking than what he saw inside, you were blankly staring at the city infront of you through the window of your living room with a cigarette between your hand. "Since when did you smoke and let guys I didn't want you to be with come in your house?" you flinched but turned to face him and stood up, "Since when did you start coming so early, are you done fucking your hoes in a hotel?" you spoke quieter, looking at him with glossy eyes. "Answer the questio- YN what?" he said quite shook and taken aback by what you said.

 "Tell me what youre doing on the other side." you start backing up "YN-" 'Just tell me what youre doing with those other girls!" you spoke through your tears "Tell me why youre always wasted when we talk, tell me why you only remember my name in the mornings..." "YN no listen to me I love yo-" he tries grabbing your hand but you back away, both of you pathetically crying now. "Running in circles now look what you've done... I trusted you.. and what the hell are we? tell me we werent just friends? this doesn't make no sense!" you said gripping your hair "YN I really do love you I didn't mean to- " he fell down on his knees "You said youre not ready.. I  was waiting for you to move on, only to find out I'm the rebound" you laugh bitterly "YN No- please give me a chance..-"  you pointed at the door "leave." he seemed shocked "Y-YN no youre not fine I can't leave." you only laughed "I'll be fine without you babe" 

That's when he realised he had completely losed you..

after he felt, you decided to call heeseung

"YN? What's wrong?"

"H-hee please come ove-over"

He left.. again. like everyone does you were shaken up. The only person who gave you their attention was Sunghoon, despite not saying anything he made you feel special. you had confessed your feelings to him once and he said he needed time. what has this led to. I should've known. "YN?" Heeseung came in, he seemed shocked  at your state. You were shaking a thrown cigarette on the floor while your hair was a mess, tears kept streaming down your face. He ran up to you taking you in his embrace, he didnt want someone so precious in this much pain. It hurt him too. "W-why did h-he even give m-me ho-hope?- if h-he want-ted something e-else" you spoke in broken words but Heeseng understood, he figured you found out what Sunghoon had been doing. "Shh.. it's okay you deserve better calm down" he rocked you back and forth before you calmed down just softly crying in his embrace. 

You were on his lap while he held you protectively in his arms. "I know this isn't the right time but, I -I just want you to know I'm here for you.. I probably haven't loved you as long as sunghoon did but if you give me a chance i promise I'd never let you go.." Before you could say anything he attached his soft lips on yours, you didn't kiss him back. You were too taken aback. He soon detached his lips from you and said "I get it if you don't want this I'm still with you" He hugged you tighter before you spoke up "I n-need you too Heeseung but please let me heal before I trust you again.."

"I'll help you heal" He said before you fell asleep, tired from heartbreak and love yet being comforted by the person who you'll soon start loving.

you maybe truly will be fine without him

author’s note: my hand hurts but hey it was worth it, ngl i enjoyed writing this and I hope y’all like it <3 parmanent taglist is open

#enhypen #enhypenff #enhypen ff #parksunghoon #park sunghoon ff #parksunghoon ff #park sunghoon angst #angst ff #ff #fanfics #lee heeseung #lee heeseung ff #lee heeseung angst #enhypen angst #enhypen fluff #park sunghoon fluff #lee heeseung fluff #enhypen sunghoon x reader #enhypen x reader #enhypen x y/n #enhypen heeseung x reader #sunghoon oneshots #heeseung oneshots #sunghoon au #heeseung au #enhypen sunghoon au #enhypen smut

[4thewynne]

Superman vs Lex Luthor: Autism vs ADHD

So I had this random thought that probably can be refuted many times over when looked at by others, thought I'd share it anyway to see if anyone wants to correct, add on, or share their own thoughts.

Clark Kent

Clark is healthly living with functional Autism. He likes being himself, he is shy and humble, has trouble making eye contact, struggles with imagination, loves dealing with facts and investigating truths (reporter), has constant low to mid level anxiety that he might hurt someone, his parents raised him to be aware and responsible for his actions. This lead to his job in reporting. He doesn't have to be physically out there where accidents can happen and he can do good in the world. Meanwhile his, "Masking" is Superman. He feigns what he thinks is a confident hero. Yes, I am intentally believing the opposite of what Bill thinks in Kill Bill. Bill forgets Clark's origins other than being an alien so Bill is wrong about Superman.Being Superman also lets Clark fly off when his "public exposure" meter is too full (forgive me citizen, I hear a cat in a tree 3 blocks away I must rescue. -flys away-). Along with that though is his strong Kansas upbringing.

His parents taught him humility. To try not to hurt others, that he has abilities and capabilities others don't. People will resent him for it so to stay humble and careful so they don't resent him. But help whenever and where ever he can. But its best not to take credit if you can help it. He was fed the American propaganda of American ideals and believes in those ideals strongly. As he became an adult and learned the truths behind history also lead to passion for reporting. He hates lies and people doing things for the "greater good". Expect people to live to the ideals and not have them forced. So tries to be a great example as Sups while exposing falsehoods as Clark. This often leads to more actual good being done by Clark and feeling more rewarding while Sups is more flashy heroy good acts when reporting doesn't get things done fast enough. But Clark still thinks of Sups only as a Mask.

Now, Lex Luthor. Lex is unhealthy/untreated ADHD. A billionaire born to wealth with tons of imagination and ideas with little dedication to seeing things through. Only child raised from old money, servants to meet his needs, and best schooling available. He often would mask by pure brute force of his brilliance. It can be exhausting to him because he just wants things done and DONE NOW. Often frustrated by everyone not thinking as fast as him. He would often make others feel like crap because he would think circles around them. This also led to a great level of narcissism. It's not ADHD alone but his aloof parents, privileged birth, and social conditioning that make him the way he is. Being fed American culture growing up, he sees the ideal of America as only a dream and sees how things "really" are. He can make everything better if people would just do as he says. After all, he is smarter than everyone. Not just in the room but everywhere. Often forcing his will on others through any means possible. He has hundreds, no billions of ideas of how to improve things and the wealth and means to make his thoughts a reality. He hires people who hate dealing with him but he pays them to make his reality. Because what is reality? Just what you can make of it. He thinks it is his own hard work that got him to where he is, when the truth was just people paid to fill the gaps in his brilliantly distracted mind that comes up with windfall ideas and partial solutions. This often also leads to his downfall. He never got treated for his condition ("psh, ADHD isn't real anyways. Just something lazy people make up as an excuse to leave things unfinished. Now you got the reports on those 5 projects I gave you? I have a Tee time with the President in an hour to make."). So his plots often have holes as he gets lost in the wrong details, is juggling too much at once, or his plans and thoughts are just too grand for the reality of what people can do and there is only so much that money can do. He also spends a lot of time a lone and distancing himself from others due to his untreated state causes him nothing but frustration when people can't keep up with his thoughts or understand him when he jumps from idea to idea. He doesn't mask, he hides and pays someone to be between him and the "stupid" people. Those someones often getting fired and replaced for not being loyal enough, able to keep up, or what ever his imagination drums up as the cause.

Lex hates Superman because of all the gifts Superman has and refuses to do anything other than piddly acts of heroism. With all that strength and ability, he can actually force the world to be better with him at the head. Honestly, he is often emblematic of the realities of the United States. Not the ideals. If he can just BE The True Superman, laws will no longer apply to him, because no prison can hold him and no weapon can hurt him. Clark on the other hand cares about the Truth and meeting the ideals. He sees the failures of the systems but also, through his upbringing, knows he alone cannot solve everything. So he goes out to do what little good he can. Prevents what tragedies he can. But tries not to do too much because he knows he can't do everything. It would drive him mad or break him.

#Superman #Lex Luthor #ADHD #Autism #my thoughts #neurodiversity #pop culture #Youtube

[philhoffman]

Yesterday was one of the most amazing days ever—I traveled to Philadelphia and met @mrsalanavalentine in person for the first time and we saw Synecdoche, New York on the big screen!!!

Synecdoche was one of the first Phil Hoffman films I ever saw and it changed my life. The Hunger Games introduced me to him, Doubt convinced me he was someone truly special, but Synecdoche was unlike anything I’d seen before—it got into my head and twisted me up inside and made me fall in love with cinema. I have a lot of thoughts about how and why Phil came into my life when he did, but I’m sure one reason was to make sure I found this film. It’s been a gift in so many ways—like getting to finally meet one of my best friends!!

Jess and I met here on tumblr over two years ago thanks to our shared love of PSH—they sent me an ask calling this blog a big source of joy (❤️) and now here we are!!! Thank you again Jess for inviting me and being as much of a geek about Phil and movies as me (I mean you’re a projectionist so you are even MORE of a geek about movies than me!) and I can’t wait to see you again! 🥰

During one of my favorite scenes last night, when Caden is telling Hazel about his idea—“Here’s what I think theater is: it’s the beginning of thought. It’s the truth not yet spoken. It’s what a man feels after he’s been clocked in the jaw. It’s love, in all its messiness.”—it suddenly felt like the perfect moment, watching Phil’s performance as he talks about the rawness and realness of theater and art. It’ll maybe never be perfect because we miss him so much, but look at all of us here laughing and loving and celebrating him together.

Phil has brought so many amazing people and opportunities into my life. There has been a lot of pain and grief but there’s been even more happiness and fun and fullness and connection. I’ve done things I never could’ve imagined myself doing before he was with me—traveling and writing again and live theater and harm reduction advocacy and meeting his family and friends and finding my own closest friends, all thanks to him. “Legacy” can feel like a funny, aloof, grandiose word when you love someone so much, when they’re so real and familiar, but if I had to define it that’s part of what Phil’s is for me. Being inspired to live the way he did—voraciously, unselfconsciously—and love the people around you and take the risks you want but also need to take. Thanks for the lessons buddy, I love you and keep you with me everywhere I go

(Also, as I mentioned on letterboxd, this is the fourth PSH film I’ve seen in theaters but the first in which I got to see his tummy (and thighs) on the big screen so it was absolutely worth it to get home after 3 am and go to work this morning on just four hours of sleep.)

#sitting in the audience thinking they don’t know we are philhoffman and mrsalanavalentine on tumblr…… #synecdoche new york #friend tag #words #*

[abibliophobiaa]

Okay so I just caught up with Beyond, chapter 4 straight up made me cry. Like not in a watery eyes kinda way but straight up fat Studio Ghibli tears running down my face kinda way. The way you wrote readers progression of her loneliness went straight to my heart. Like yes their marriage is fake but she still expected a friend at least, and to not have that and to keep coming home to an empty house most of the time or her and Steve passing each other like ships must have felt so isolating. And on the one day she really needed his presence and comfort only for him to wave if off as if Hopper’s presence was equivalent to his really broke my heart. GREAT JOB! Seriously, I love when the writing is so spot on my tears ducts activate - thats how I know I have connected to what I’m reading. So thank you I love your writing! I love the way you brought resolution by Steve cooking (he called his mom ahaha) for her and acknowledging what he did wrong and how readers presence brings him comfort too. I love that they know their previous interactions are not sustainable for 3 years and that they both are on the same page and WANT TO CHANGE TOGETHER! That there is the start of a real marriage! I’m here for it! Anyway this was so long - if tldr basically: I said you made me cry, I thanked you and I loved your writing!

First of all, thank you for taking the time to write up something as lovely as this. I literally grinned so wide, because I thought this fic would be like…four chapters max, but I’m having so much fun developing them from the ground up, so to see anyone enjoy it is the best feeling ever.

Spoilers for chapter four of Beyond below the cut…

I was really excited for them to have a little bit of a “fallout” before they can really come together. I couldn’t imagine three years with someone you wave to every morning, so good on them for being adults and realizing they need to figure out how they’ll do this together.

And who knows, maybe fall in love along the way?

I’m really happy R’s loneliness came across. And the disappointment over Hopper being the one to pick her up. To some, it might be a “small thing.” But I think it’s understandable she’d want the person she’s been living with for two months, who made a commitment to be there, to be the one to pick her up.

Psh. Haha him calling his mom—poor guy didn’t know what to do. He’s two months in and struggling out here. He’ll figure it out though.

Agh. Thank you again! Thank you so much. 🩷🩷

#luna’s loves