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emerald-valkyrie · 3 years

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So, I finally finished Vikings and... well, that was a thing.

Below are just my thoughts on some things. If you haven’t finished or watched the last half of the series, don’t read this, spoilers ahead.

Most of the season was meh, but in my opinion, the moment Ragnar died everything, all the writing and the plots and just everything about this show became meh. Sure the first episode of 6B was... fine, Bjorn’s death was kind of cool, but like did they need to drag it out for a whole episode instead of just finishing 6A with it? That would have fit much better instead of leaving us with a “cliffhanger.” And yeah, there were moments throughout the season that were... goodish, Floki coming back and his little home and the tree carvings depicting the Viking story in North America (Ragnar’s death tree was breathtaking) was beautiful and probably my favourite bit of the whole season. But then everything else was just... meh. Like, there were so many storylines/plot lines being wrapped up, introduction of new characters just to help finish said plot lines, there just never seemed to be a definitive ending/end goal in sight. Not to mention the absolute butchering of characters *cough* Gunnhild *cough* Erik *cough.*

And yeah, granted the show did manage to actually finish off all the plot lines relatively okay and not too rushed, I can’t say I was ever satisfied by any of it. The whole Rus plot line really should have just been wrapped up in 6A, it didn’t need to be dragged on for a season and a half. The Iceland/Greenland/North America storyline ended, but I wasn’t satisfied one bit by it. The Kattegat storyline (if you can really call it that) was not overly satisfying, though it was nice to see a former slave woman end up being the Queen, with possibly her lover by her side too (who also happened to be a former slave woman as well). The Wessex plot was... well, I don’t necessarily think that needed to happen per say, but that was the one storyline that felt rushed and not properly fleshed out (maybe if they hadn’t spent so long on the Rus plot like they did, they could have given this plot some more thought). None of it left me feeling satisfied or happy in the end, just meh.

In regards to the Kattegat storyline; that could have been done better. Gunnhild could should have been Queen of Kattegat in my opinion; even though she no longer had her and Bjorn’s child, she still could have carried on the name of Lagertha (lol that she literally only had a two second scene and maybe one or two name mentions in the final season) and Bjorn. And even if they went with her not being Queen, Ingrid is an interesting character to be named Queen. She’s a former slave and now she’s a Queen and her potential lover or at least left hand is also a former slave woman too. But, they butchered Erik’s character and withered him down into just a power hungry man to do so. Don’t get me wrong, Erik’s death at the hand of a woman he sold off into slavery is poetic justice. But, in the small little bit that we got of Erik, he really didn’t seem like a power hungry “I will do anything to be King” character. His dissent into the power hungry type was so quick and sudden it makes zero sense. I’m okay with the end result of Ingrid being the Queen of Kattegat in the end, I just wish it was done and handled much better than what it was.

Ivar’s death somehow managed to move me and make me feel sad, something I never felt for Bjorn which is really sad. I was not a fan of Ivar’s whatsoever, and it’s laughable that he literally got Julius Caesar-ed in battle. Ivar “warging” into the Vikings around him before he was stabbed was probably the only badass/awesome thing I’ve seen Ivar do in the whole series. But what got me was the little brother dying in the arms of his older brother and saying, “I am afraid,” just before he died. The idea of Bjorn’s death was beautiful, a King dying before his people, bringing them all together to fight against the Rus and defeat them as one; beautiful, honestly something Ragnar would be proud of I think. But... like... he gets stabbed in some weird vision thing by Ivar at the end of 6A, and the result of that wound gets dragged out for all of the first episode of 6B only for Bjorn to sit atop his horse, shot four times by a Rus, raises his sword with his last bit of strength and then dies as the Viking army rushes forward to fight the Rus; a battle we don’t even get to really see and it’s done in 15 seconds tops. If they had shortened the amount of time the build up was, gave us some flashbacks of Bjorn’s life as he’s getting shot by each of the four arrows and then, with the overlap of a speech by Ragnar (I’m sure there’s one that would fit that setting), Bjorn lifts the Sword of Kings and the battle starts... that would have been more moving. Have the battle go on in front of Bjorn as he’s slowly dying on his horse for a few minutes (which in reality would really only be a few seconds on the battlefield) and then cut to Hvitserk saying his speech as Bjorn dies, that, that would have been much more moving and touching; add Lagertha and Ragnar calling for Bjorn as the Sword of Kings slips from his fingers and Bjorn’s children calling out for their father as the sword finally falls, signalling Bjorn finally leaving this world and going to Valhalla, god that would have had me in an ocean of tears. Not to mention, I found it really weird that it was Hvitserk to say the final battle speech thing about Bjorn; it really should have been Ubbe since I do feel like Ubbe was closer to Bjorn than Hvitserk or Ivar were to Bjorn. I get that for story purposes and the placement of where the characters were at the time, Hvitserk was the obvious choice between him or Ivar doing so, but that speech would have made more of an impact from Ubbe instead of Hvitserk, at least personally for me it would have.

Then we have Gunnhild. This badass Viking woman who was a kickass shield-maiden but was also just a woman. She had the makings of a very interesting story in what little background we got of her, and she would have made an excellent Queen of Kattegat and even Queen of Norway; she was a good leader and would have done well for the people. But then they reduced her to simply, literally, only being a love interest for Bjorn. This kickass shield-maiden literally strips naked - FOR NO REASON - at the wedding of Harald and Ingrid - after saying that she cannot marry Harald as well because she is still married to Bjorn, still loves him, her heart still belongs to him - and then jumps into the water by Kattegat, swims out into the open water and then gives up? Sinks under the water and we’re left to her drowning to reunite with her love. I’ll admit, I’m genuinely surprised we didn’t get any actual look at Gunnhild’s naked body (outside of a butt shot), but she literally didn’t need to strip naked to jump into the water. She also didn’t need to give up on life because Bjorn is dead. No where in any episode that she was in, gives us the idea that that is the kind of character and person she is. They ruined her character and instead of giving her a meaningful death in battle as a shield-maiden or just letting her live out the rest of her damn life for once, they just outright have her pull a Juliet and kill her self by drowning; kind of pulling a Siggy. So dumb and yet, somehow predictable that Vikings ruined yet another female character.

Even though I was done with Harald like two seasons ago, his death was actually really nice. Totally out of nowhere by that one Wessex soldier seemingly knowing he was in the forest, just wandering around alone, but Halfdan showing up? Giving Harald strength to kill the soldier and then die singing their song together? Halfdan leading Harald to Valhalla? That was beautiful. That was actually really nice.

My other big problem: Hvitserk. Hvitserk, Hvitserk, Hvitserk. You give us this relatively nice scene of Hvitserk sitting beside Ivar’s grave in Wessex saying goodbye, talking about how he’s looking forward to reuniting with Ivar in Valhalla and implying how Hvitserk is looking forward to fighting alongside Ivar (and I’m assuming Bjorn, Sigurd, Lagertha, Ragnar and the other Viking warriors and Gods in Valhalla) against the Christian God, “The skies are darkening, we’ve all seen it, we know what’s coming” (or something along those lines)... like, that’s so beautiful? That’s Hvitserk being a true Viking, talking about Valhalla, looking forward to dining in Odin’s Halls with his brother and friends and family and then fighting in the great battle against this new Christian God... the imagery of it all is beautiful and moving. AND THEN THE NEXT SCENE OF HVITSERK IS HIM BEING BAPTIZED IN WESSEX!? ON TOP OF THAT HIS CHRISTIAN NAME IS ATHELSTAN!? Are you kidding me!? That’s so out of left field!!! Where’s the context? Where’s the reasoning? What is the reasoning? It literally makes absolutely no damn sense. Hvitserk was done so dirty by this (not that I was a huge fan of his in the end). You set him up as having this actually nice ending, you could have just left his fate to be unknown, up to the fans to decide if he gets to live in Wessex or given the chance to peacefully return to Kattegat with the rest of the Viking warriors. But no. Instead you absolutely butcher his character and his ending and have him be baptized to “follow in Ragnar’s footsteps” when Ragnar and Rollo and Ubbe were all baptized, but for a reason, a reason that for all three made relative sense. Just stupid. By having Hvitserk convert to Christianity and be baptized, you’ve all but sealed Hvitserk’s fate to never enter and dine in the Halls of Valhalla alongside his brother and father (I personally believe that in the end Ragnar went to Valhalla, I know Travis believes otherwise) and others. You’ve all but denied Hvitserk of living out his final words to Ivar. (Even though Ragnar was baptized his final words lead me to believe he never gave up on Odin and the Gods. Yes, we know nothing about Hvitserk converting and if he gave up on Odin or if he was just converting in an odd twist of survival or whatever, but this is just my opinion).

They build up the title Sons of Ragnar throughout the series, especially after Ragnar dies but really, this is what they all come down to:

Bjorn: followed his father’s footsteps by exploring other lands, becoming King of Kattegat, partially because of other people’s actions, but ultimately it was what he wanted (if I remember right.) In the end, he ultimately died by his brother Ivar’s hands in battle (Ivar’s wound would have killed him eventually, the four arrows shot into him by the Rus archer just sped up the process.) Died as King of Norway, though the title is controversial since Harald was still alive at the time.

Ubbe: also tried to follow in his father’s footsteps by also exploring other lands and trying to be a farmer. Tries to carry out Ragnar’s dream of farming in Wessex but that fails. Travels to Iceland and then Greenland and then arriving in North America, exploring lands no one has been to before, just like Ragnar. Is successful in those travels, but ultimately the North American journey ends in technical failure when the First Nations people say the Vikings couldn’t stay (that’s my interpretation of it, please someone correct me if I’m wrong in that.) Ubbe lives, but is the king of nothing (the Seer said he’d be king one day), has no known home now, and the last we see of him he’s sitting on a beach with Floki, who will ultimately die soon.

Hvitserk: really didn’t do too much, but also never really expressed any wishes to carry on Ragnar’s legacy (if I remember right). He dicked around, killed Lagertha in the most stupid and ridiculous way (fulfilling the Seer’s prophecy). Will admit, he did kick some major ass in battle against the people of Wessex in the end, and was overall a fairly decent warrior, but leaves behind his older brother Ubbe, who cared for him and about him and gave a damn just to spend the next few years with Ivar who treated him like shit. “I want to be my own person. I don’t want to live in Ubbe’s shadow my whole life,” only to then live in Ivar’s shadow essentially. Hvitserk lives, but converts to Christianity, “following” in both Ragnar and Rollo’s footsteps and is then given the Christian name Athelstan.

Sigurd: didn’t do too much, aside from antagonize Ivar by calling him out on his shit and didn’t really follow in his father’s footsteps; though was never really given the chance to voice any desire or wish to potentially do so. Died by Ivar’s hand, literally.

Ivar: tried to live up to his father’s last words to him, messed up a lot of things including all of his relationships with his brothers save somehow Hvitserk even though he treated him horribly all because he wanted to get revenge on Lagertha for killing Aslaug and then the people of Wessex for killing Ragnar and then... because that’s all his character has been reduced to now is just to keep pushing his brothers away in his quest for power; “Power is always dangerous. It attracts the worst. And corrupts the best.” Died by sacrificing himself, so to speak, in Hvitserk’s place in battle by tribute to Julius Caesar.

I don’t know really what my end goal for this Sons of Ragnar thing is, but I am left feeling horribly underwhelmed by them and their stories in the end. I wasn’t expecting all of them, if any of them really, to survive the series, but I did expect more from them all in the end. And if not more, than I at least expected to be moved more by their deaths or actions in the final season.

I do think the show should have ended after Ragnar’s death and the Sons avenging his death by bringing the Viking army to Wessex and blood eagling King Ælle, because like I said earlier, after his death I felt like the show, the writing and the characters became meh, but for the sake of the finale, I do wish they’d have finished it differently and I have two ideas for it too.

Ending One: Ubbe looks over at Floki on the beach after they talked and then the camera cuts to Floki smiling. The camera then cuts back to Ubbe, only it’s not Ubbe. It’s actually Old Ragnar who’s smiling back at Floki. Floki then smiles wider and does his little funny chuckle and then we see their silhouettes illuminated by the setting sun. The small silhouette of a Viking ship can be seen on the horizon. Fade to black screen. End of series. (The show ends with the two best friends who really started everything off. Implies Floki did build that boat Ragnar was hounding him for in death and implies Ragnar and Floki sailed off to Valhalla.)

Ending Two: Floki has just finished talking about how Ragnar never leaves him alone and is always asking him to build a new boat. Ubbe smiles a sad smile. His father Ragnar really would do that. Floki and Ubbe are silent save for the sounds of the waves upon the shore. The silence is broken by Floki tilting his head to his left and then letting out his strange little chuckle. Ubbe asks Floki what he was laughing at and Floki just chuckles again, says nothing and stares into the sunset. Screen fades to black. Screen brightens again to a lush green forest. A lake comes into view as the camera pans to the left. A wooden dock comes into view, a small cabin can be seen nearby, the makings of a wooden boat sits on stilts beside and behind the cabin. Sitting at the end of the dock are young Floki and next to him? Young Ragnar, talking about building a boat to take them across uncharted waters. (The end calls back to a scene that I’m pretty sure happened in the first season, or would at least a call back to the beginning of it all and again, how everything happened because of the friendship and bond of Ragnar and Floki.)

Either one would have been more emotional and more fitting of an ending to the series than... whatever we got; both of them are an actual, definitive ending and not a mix of the beginnings of one really. All in all, the final season really was just meh. I wasn’t expecting a lot, expected a lot less with how my friends reacted to it and told me not to even bother, so my expectations were alarmingly low and really, the final season met my low expectations. I’m happy the show is finally over, I just wish it ended better. Though who am I kidding? TV shows rarely get a good ending anymore.

#vikings #personal opinion #vikings review #vikings 6b #vikings 6x20 #personal review #text #ragnar lothbrok #bjorn ironside #ubbe ragnarsson #hvitserk #sigurd #ivar the boneless #Floki #harald finehair #gunnhild #gunnhild vikings

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gothpanda · 3 years

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A Little Bit of Attitude Ch. 36: Rehab

WORD COUNT: 6.1k

A/N: I had this written a long time ago. Which is why y’all are getting 2 chapters in 2 days

TAGS: @madamsixx @emariehorror

@nosebleedblitz

WARNINGS: angst

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Read on Ao3

February 2nd, 1988

Tucson, Arizona

Sammi stared out of the taxi cab window, frowning at the rehabilitation sign insight. Her palms were sweating even more than they did when on the airplane over to Tucson. The taxi driver wasn’t in any rush, somewhat understanding Sammi’s hesitation to exit their cab once they saw where Sammi needed to be. Sammi rubbed her hands on her jeans, exhaling as she paid the cab fare. The driver gave a sad smile to Sammi from the rearview mirror.

“Good luck to whatever finds you here,” said the driver.

Sammi smiled back at the driver, stepping out of the car with shaky feet. The rehab was beautiful to Sammi, with vast desert fields with different sports or relaxation activities. It looked like a rich summer camp if you didn’t know what the place really was. Sammi walked through the sliding doors, feeling cold air conditioning that hit her face, a pleasant sensation once outside in the heat. She clenched onto the strap of her purse, looking at everything around like a little child. Sammi slowly walked to the receptionist’s desk, greeted by an older man who gave a courtesy smile.

“Hello Ms. how may I help you today?” asked the man, his name tag reading Julius.

“I’m here to see Dr. Hawkins. She asked me to come in for a therapy session today. I have… family here,” Sammi said, pressing her lips tightly together. The man looked down at his notebook and computer then to another receptionist near him.

“Well, Dr. Hawkins seems to be currently in a group therapy session, but let me phone in her head nursing assistant. Could I get some ID, please?” asked Julius. Sammi reached into her purse and slid over the card. As Julius read Sammi’s full name, she could see the twitch in his face of realization. Julius returned the ID and a visitor clip for Sammi. “Okay, please have this clip on for the entirety of your visit. You can have a seat over on your right,” said Julius.

“Thank you,” Sammi smiled, walking to the rows of chairs in a maze-like fashion. Sammi was the only one in the little waiting area, seeing a sign about visitation hours for ‘patients.’ Sammi shuddered at the word, fully succumbing to the fact that the guys were patients. Patients who are most likely under medication at the moment. Patients who Sammi’s been around when completing her necessary hours to graduate. It clicked at this moment alone that Sammi found herself in the place she was aiming to work for, but this time visiting people she cared about. Sammi soon saw a nurse come out of the hospital like double doors, seeking right for Sammi.

“Samantha?” Nurse Sandra asked, extending out a hand. Sammi stood on her feet, shoulders squared, accepting the handshake.

“Yes. Hi, I’m Samantha. It’s nice to meet you,” Sammi smiled politely at Nurse Sandra. “You work with Dr. Hawkins?”

“Yes, I do. I’m one of the nurse team members assigned to Motley Crue. It’s been an interesting journey so far,” Nurse Sandra said with a smile.

“Team members? How many people are assigned to the guys?” Sammi asked with worried eyebrows.

“They each have one assigned nurse when necessary, such as distributing medication at specific hours and each a therapist. Dr. Hawkins facilitates group therapy sessions and the main doctor in charge of their treatment. Come with me so we can join the men now. We don’t want to be late,” Nurse Sandra with a smile, sensing the nerves from Sammi’s face. Nurse Sandra and Sammi walked down the home-like hallways, passing doctors’ offices and patient rooms. “Did Dr. Hawkins have a chance to fully explain before your visit down here?” Nurse Sandra asked.

“I was just told Dr. Hawkins wanted me in for a group therapy session. I just don't have the full reasoning exactly,” Sammi replied as the two stood in front of the spacious group therapy room.

“You’ll find out soon enough. Don’t worry,” Nurse Sandra said, checking the watch on her wrist and peeking inside the room. Sammi looked inside through the small window as well to see all four of the guys seated down. They all had their backs to the door, listening carefully to what Dr. Hawkins was saying. An older woman who looked like she could be Mrs. Bass's age. One chair in the middle between all four men was empty, leaving Nikki and Tommy on the left and Vince & Mick right. “Ready?” Nurse Sandra asked. Sammi nodded, swallowing hard. Nurse Sandra carefully opened the door, waving two fingers to signal Dr. Hawkins. Dr. Hawkins nodded, clapping her hands together. Sammi shuffled in the room with silence, clutching onto the strap of her purse harder.

“Gentlemen, remember how I said we were going to have a guest today? Well, here she is,” Dr. Hawkins said, standing up and raising a hand behind everyone. “Samantha, come here have a seat with us,” Nikki was the first to snap his head behind him, blinking rapidly as if he was dreaming. Tommy smiled at his sister, missing the face of someone familiar that wasn’t Motley anymore. Vince and Mick couldn’t look at Sammi, but each had different reasoning. Sammi kept her head hung low, not making eye contact at everyone's shocked faces, sitting down in her designated seat.

“Good afternoon, Samantha. How are you doing?” Dr. Hawkins asked, smiling warmly at the young woman.

“Okay… I guess. I’m not sure as to why I’m here exactly,” said Sammi.

“I wanted to invite you for a therapy session because I noticed from our team that you are a common theme in many sessions since the men have been here,” said Dr. Hawkins, grabbing a leather notecase, clicking her silver pen.

“I am?” asked Sammi, curling her lip at the surprise. Sammi looked to her right, seeing Tommy and Nikki looking down to the floor. Mick rested his chin in the palm of his hand to her left while Vince sat with folded arms and stared only at Dr. Hawkins.

“Yes, you are. Whenever the men opened up and told an event, you were mentioned many times from their owns accounts,”

“Wow, even Mick talks about me? I’m touched,” teased Sammi to break the tension, placing a hand over her heart, turning towards Mick. His mouth was covered, but Sammi could still see the corners turned upwards. “So, what exactly do you want from me? I’m just Tommy’s little sister?”

“No, you’re not just Tommy’s little sister. You’re a sister, a friend, and a romantic partner. I want you to fully open up about your experience with these men during their substance abuse,” Dr. Hawkins corrected Sammi. Sammi looked down at her lap. “I brought Samantha in here, so the four of you fully comprehend how your abuse affects the people around you,” Dr. Hawkins explained to Motley, scanning the room and seeing the discomfort in everyone's faces. “While you are a band, Samantha isn’t someone who knows all of you purely on that. She seems to be the one positive person you all have,”

“Yeah, thanks, Tommy,” Sammi mumbled, folding her arms tightly against her chest and crossing one leg over the other.

“Oh, come on, you know you love us,” Tommy replied, giving a quick one-sided smile to Sammi.

“Alright, let’s begin,” Dr. Hawkins said with a smile, pages of notes turning echoing in the room. “Is it alright if I address you as Sammi for the rest of the session?” Sammi nodded. “Great! I’ve heard through the grapevine you’re currently in school for pharmacy in San Francisco. How is that going?”

Sammi shrugged. “Good. Challenging, but it’s been going good these last two years. I’m almost finally done with school. Feels like I’ve been in college for an eternity,”

“That’s amazing. It’s good seeing young women come into the medical field for all things. I know your brother is proud of you,” Dr. Hawkins smiled, Sammi smiling at Tommy, who shied away. “You two seem close when he talks about you and your other sister Athena. It’s important to have a strong bond even during rough times,”

“I could agree. Of course, Tommy annoys the hell out me, but I’m lucky to have a brother like him,”

“And was it always like this? Did you two always have a strong bond growing up?”

“Nope,” Sammi and Tommy said in unison with a chuckle. Both repressed their laughs but still smiled at each other. “I was a bit ‘bitchy’ when I was 17,”

“And 18, and 19… It wasn’t just your fault, though. I can admit now why you’d act upset with me,” Tommy added.

“And why was that, Tommy?” Dr. Hawkins asked.

Tommy sighed. “At first, I blamed it on these two friends she had from high school, but after I got into Motley, I acted all big shot for being in a band. So we grew apart when we began having our own lives,” Tommy said, folding his arms against his chest and sinking into the white accent sofa chair.

“How did you two manage to reconnect?” Dr. Hawkins asked.

Sammi smiled to herself at the memory of the first time she met Tommy in Motley. “Ironically, the band. Tommy went to my job at the time, asking for a bedsheet that I wasn’t using anymore. That’s where I met Nikki and reconnected with Vince,”

“No, Mick?”

“I didn’t show up to the old apartment until it was the evening. I met Sammi when she came for a rehearsal,” Mick added.

“So what was your first impression of everyone, Sammi? After not seeing Vince since you were a young teen and Nikki for the first time,”

“I hated Nikki,” Sammi snickered, Nikki smiling to himself but away from everyone. “I called him a porcupine because his hair was so teased and made him call me Samantha. I hated how he was gawking at me but also liked it for some reason. I was nice to Vince but kept a distance because he had been around with people I knew, then soon my old crush came back. And with Mick, I didn’t get why the guys called him an alien. He just had a different head on his shoulders than the others. They’re all different in their own ways,”

“Those sound like fun introductions to a couple of bold characters,” Dr. Hawkins had joked. Sammi nodded, smiling a tad bit at how it all began. “But then you had moments of anger with the men? Is that correct?”

“Yeah, I did,” Sammi huffed out.

“Were there ever specific times or random moments of annoyance throughout the friendships?”

“It was first their attitudes of being macho men, mostly from Nikki. Mick never made me angry, honestly. Vince would get under my skin if he slept with girls before we got together… and even during. Then there were the drugs and times they all acted selfish, hurting someone else along the way,” Sammi said, thinking hard to formulate a proper thought of her life with Motley.

“So you never liked it when any of them used hard substances?”

Sammi looked down at the floor for a moment. “No, I didn’t. I never saw a reason to do it. The only drug I was around was weed at the time. Our parents explained why using drugs was bad all the time growing up, hard drugs in mind. When I saw Tommy and Athena do it, I freaked out, running away from them. Then I only told our parents because I’m a bad liar to them, and they kept asking questions when I got home in the morning. They chewed Athena and Tommy’s ass to dinner that night,”

“How old were you when this happened?”

“18,”

“Do you remember if you blamed a person for this?”

Sammi nodded. “I blamed Nikki for giving them coke because Vince told me,”

“Did you all three talk it out right after dinner? To keep your sibling bond intact?”

Sammi glanced at Nikki, seeing him stare at the corner of the room. “No, we didn’t. That night Nikki called me when I was in my room to tell me I was dumb after telling him he was a creep. Everyone does drugs in this scene, and if I didn’t like it, I should stay out. So I did. I didn’t talk to Tommy, Athena, or Vince for a while,” Sammi recalled pressing her lips together, looking dead at Dr. Hawkins.

“God, I forgot about that,” Mick mumbled, slowly shifting for comfort in his seat. Tommy and Vince looked at each other, remembering those times that felt like centuries ago. Nikki rested his chin in the palm of his hands, turning his body away from Sammi. It was the first time Nikki felt terrible for hurting Sammi’s feelings, not understanding why at the time. Nikki never felt bad about hurting a girl's sentiments in his young life until that night, questioning his feelings.

“How was that for you, Tommy? Or Vince? Or Nikki? Or Mick?” Dr. Hawkins asked the three men.

“Tried to make sure no one killed Nikki. I thought he was an asshole for pissing Sammi off. We all kind of gave him the silent treatment for it. Sammi didn’t deserve our bullshit so early on of knowing us,” Mick said.

“I was so pissed at Nikki. I liked having Sammi around. That was around the time I started liking her,” Vince said, cracking his fingers.

“The funny thing is, I should’ve known something happened. When I told Sammi goodbye at dinner, she wouldn’t open her bedroom door. I came home to Vince yelling at Nikki,” Tommy said. “I felt like shit for making Sammi angry at us as soon as we started hanging out again,”

“Nikki?” Dr. Hawkins asked. Nikki didn’t give a response, keeping his head away from everyone. Dr. Hawkins didn’t try to press any further for the time being.

“But after that, you all still managed to have Sammi in your lives and go down the path you chose?” Dr. Hawkins asked. Motley and Sammi stayed silent, no one giving a glance to anyone in the room. “How was that, Sammi? If you were so strong-willed to not be around, then what happened?”

“Nikki apologized for the whole thing, and I missed the guys. It’s kinda hard to ignore all of them when your brother is in the band. I had moments of being distant with the guys either way,”

“But you could’ve still stayed away. What was the real reason?”

“I liked them, Okay? I had two fake friends and a cookie-cutter life before I hung out with them. I liked being around them even if shit happened,” Sammi raised her voice a tad bit.

“Was that all, though?” Dr. Hawkins asked again.

“Listen, do you want a gist of basically the last six years of my life to fully get it?” Sammi asks, scowling at Dr. Hawkins.

“Go ahead. I encourage you to open up. Go on for as long as you want,”

“My brother gets in a band to be the drummer with three other guys. The lead singer is his old high school friend I had liked since I was 13 when he slept in our van. After a year of fucked up friendship, we finally got together even though he couldn’t keep it in his pants. All of that for him to just end up cheating on me and getting another girl pregnant. The bass player is some macho asshole, and I hate him. We end up talking for more than a minute, and I can see the asshole turn sweet on me. I end up having feelings for him, and everything gets worse but still great. When things are going good, it feels amazing, but when it’s bad, it’s like hell on earth because I can’t fix it. The guitar player acts like my dad to me because he’s scared I’ll fuck up my life when I’m around them. He got angry that I snorted coke on my birthday. He keeps his medical condition a secret from everyone because the drummer, singer, and bass player are assholes. They use him as a punching bag because he’s nice. I don’t say shit because who is going to listen to me? Mick won’t admit to being in pain, and no one listens when I say ease upon him. I stayed because I liked being around them and brushed off the annoyance. My brother and I are finally talking regularly again. That’s what it’s like being with these four,” Sammi rambled, frowning deeper lines on her face, folding her arms tighter around her chest.

Motley stared at Sammi, feeling confined to what they’ve made her put up. Dr. Hawkins wrote down in her notepad, motioning for Sammi to continue. “I hated it when they had to go too far with drugs and alcohol. I went on tour with them as an assistant for one year and saw everything. They had to go crazy to ‘prove themselves to no one who’s actually important in their lives. Every single time one of them told me, ‘that’s the lifestyle,’ I wanted to yell at the top of my lungs. I didn’t get how these four who finally got their dream would throw it away by slowly killing themselves,”

“But, you have used drugs before?”

“Yes. I admit I have done drugs, but it was only coke.”

“The first time you used was on your birthday?”

“No. It was the night Nikki and I talked after he apologized for calling me dumb. Both of us went back to the apartment he shared with Tommy and Vince, there was a party, so I stayed. When I was there, the three of them were using coke in front of me. I wanted to see why they liked it so much. So I asked, and I snorted for the first time. It was rare when I did coke after that, self-aware of taking it easy. The last time I did, it was in Vegas three years ago with Nikki. Vince would get mad at me every time I got high when we were together,” Sammi admitted

“Why would that be, Vince?” Dr. Hawkins asked Vince, turning her attention to the man slouching in the sofa chair. Vince stayed silent, thinking of what was the right thing to say. “I wanted Sammi to stay innocent. I didn’t want her to be like the fucked up girls who’d slim around us. She didn’t get crazy while she was high, which was great, but the main thing was Nikki. I knew Nikki would be the one giving her coke, and I’d get jealous every time he was around her. I guess I’m a major hypocrite,”

“It’s good that you at least know this. I want you to hold on to your thoughts about Sammi because I will be asking about your relationship later,” Dr. Hawkins instructed, Sammi and Vince glancing at each other. “Now, Sammi, if you never liked the boys taking things to the extreme and even when you have dipped your toes into their word, why did you stick so long? Besides the fact, you liked the gentlemen,”

Sammi bit her lip. “Because I felt like I had to protect them a lot of the time. I’m the only real responsible one, so I felt I needed to make sure everyone was okay in the end. And I failed at that,” Mick frowned at the last part of Sammi’s statement, knowing the weight of it.

“Was this because of Tommy being your brother? You felt as if everyone needed your protection? That’s a lot to handle for a young girl. You were barely becoming an adult,”

“I’m protective of Tommy in general even if he wasn’t with Motley. But after being around them and seeing that they were good guys underneath all the leather, I wanted to make sure nothing bad happened,” Sammi mumbled, feeling tears set in her eyes. She wiped away anything from her eyes that felt like a tear. “Even if I said mean things to the guys because I was angry, I still felt bad and wanted to continue protecting them. I’d say sorry and move on. They did dumb shit but would still try to make it a bit better,”

“We’re sorry, Sammi, for putting that pressure on you. Even if we didn’t realize it,” Mick said, Sammi smiled at him for a second.

“Did you ever feel like you failed at protecting the guys?” Sammi shrugged her shoulder, biting the inside of her cheek to stop tears from falling down, keeping a solid shell around her. Dr. Hawkins could see Sammi about to explode, passing a tissue box to the young woman. “Only you know the answer to this, Sammi,”

“Yeah, I did,” whispered Sammi.

“And when did you feel like you failed?”

“I’d probably say the last tour for obvious reasons,”

“How so?”

“Their manager had to cancel a leg of their tour because he thought they were going to die. Which wasn’t far off,” mumbled Sammi.

“Were you ever upfront about your feelings to the men? Did they listen?”

“No. and when they didn’t, I just repeated myself and blamed Nikki for everything when I shouldn’t have. And I regret our last conversation before everything,” Sammi chokes out in a gasp, frowning down at her lap, not wanting to see anyone look at her.

Dr. Hawkins looked down at her notes from Nikki’s personal sessions, seeing the tally of times he’d mention a story about Sammi. “Nikki, I’ve noticed you're very quiet in comparison to other sessions. Would you like to speak up now?” Dr. Hawkins stated.

“I’m just letting the princess speak,” Nikki mumbled, resting his forehead against his knuckles, eyes closed as if he were trying to sleep. He hoped this was all a dream where he just missed Sammi so much, she invaded his mind again. Dr. Hawkin only gave a tight lip smile to Nikki, looking back at the almost sobbing Sammi. Sammi glanced at Nikki with watery eyes, the tiny bit of happiness coming from being called princess.

“What was it that you told Nikki, Sammi?”

Sammi swallowed away the lump in her throat. “The last thing I told Nikki was that everyone was better off with him. That all of us could be different if Nikki didn’t bring us down. And something else,” Sammi mumbled, finally wiping fallen tears away with a tissue.

“Was there a breaking point for you to say this?”

Sammi nodded. “He lied again about being off the junk and breaking up with his fiancee,” Nikki squeezed his eye shut tight from remembering that night. “We left L.A on good terms… great terms after another I left and became back to L.A,”

“Where you didn’t tell him about you leaving?” asked Dr. Hawkins.

Sammi nodded. “He promised he was clean from junk, and he’d been thinking about going to rehab. We even went out to dinner, and it felt great after breaking up. I thought it meant we could have a chance at something, start over. But then I talked to someone that was on tour with them, and I had enough. I was so hurt and angry that I couldn’t shut up. So I told him to forget about me and all of our history. But then I told him…” Tears came down Sammi’s face uncontrollably, biting her lip to stop trembling. Sammi felt Mick put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it tight in comfort. Sammi inhaled a shaky breath before continuing.

“I told him if he wanted to kill himself on heroin to do it because it was bound to happen. And I wouldn’t care when I get the call,” Sammi shut her eyes tight, a stream of hot tears cascading down her face.

Nikki held his head by his temples, hiding behind his hair as he heard the cries of the woman he loved. He could feel his own tears build-up, knowing how much Nikki has affected Sammi. Tommy held Sammi’s hand, trying to be the strong brother she needed. He felt as if he was reliving December all over again, seeing Sammi crying from heartbreak. Vince felt his own heartbreak, knowing how much Sammi loved Nikki. Of course, she would have the same reaction if one of them were in Nikki’s shoes, but it wouldn’t have the same weight. Vince could see Sammi’s pain, and it was a thousand times more than she could ever have for Vince.

“After what happened in December, I wanted to go back and never say it, then maybe he wouldn’t have…” Sammi biting her lip, looking up at Dr. Hawkins shakenly.

“Sammi, do you blame yourself for Nikki’s overdose?” Dr. Hawkins asked, taking a break from writing on her notes. Even for a therapist who's seen it all, Dr. Hawkins would be lying if she said Sammi’s face didn’t hurt her. Dr. Hawkins always had a soft spot for the younger people affected by addiction in their families. Sammi nodded slowly, tears continuing to fall. “You cannot blame yourself for something that wasn’t in your control,”

“But I still said it, and it happened two months later. How can I not? If I just listened to him for a minute and not get mad at Nikki, then maybe-,” Sammi said.

“It was going to happen again either way,” Nikki uttered out, looking up with red eyes at the room. His hair falling right on his face, not wanting to move it away. Sammi looked over at Nikki, confused with a frown as Nikki finally spoke. Mick, Tommy, and Vince gave each other knowing glances, thinking Nikki wouldn’t admit to his soon confession so early on.

“What?” Sammi whispered out. Nikki rubbed an eye with his palm, remaining his gaze away from Sammi.

“Do you remember Valentine's Day when we were in London, and I didn’t call you for two days? I said I was sick with something,” Nikki asked Sammi, scrunching deep wrinkles between his brows, staring down at his feet. Tommy and Mick remained to have a comforting hold on Sammi, Tommy’s grip a bit tighter.

“Yes…”

“I had overdosed and died that night,” Nikki said, sighing out as if he was holding his breath. “I went with a friend to a drug house, and the dealer shot me up because he offered. After that, I fainted and turned purple. The dealer then dumped me in a dumpster after beating the shit out of me to wake up,” Nikki scuffed at the memory.

When Nikki finally met Sammi’s big eyes, the ones that were his weakness, he felt his heart eventually shatter into pieces. Nikki could fully see the pain caused to the one woman who ever loved him for him and nothing else with a sober mind. The one woman who Nikki wished he had kept on a pedestal if he wasn’t selfish. Sammi stared at Nikki in a ray of emotion, not understanding how Nikki could support such a secret for two years. Then again, Sammi never understood how Nikki can hide so much of himself for others’ benefit. Sammi yanked her hand and shoulder away from Tommy and Mick, looking at them and Vince with confused anger.

“Sammi,” Tommy whispered, frowned eyebrows.

“Did you know about this? Did any of you know about this?” Sammi asked, frowning at all the men.

“No. Not exactly. We knew Nikki was in a dumpster when we were looking for him, but I promise Sam, we didn’t know it was because of that,” said Mick, trying to bring Sammi back down. “He finally admitted it two weeks ago,”

“When you told me that night that I was going to kill myself over heroin someday, I didn’t take it as a green light to do it. Because if I did, I would’ve dropped dead right there in Oakland. You were the last person I had that cared about me, and I threw it away. I needed something so terrible to happen to me so I could listen. I tried to just have you as a reason to quit junk, and it didn’t work. I was in too deep,” Nikki said, staring deep into Sammi’s glossy eyes, sighing out.

“I’m sorry for it all, Sammi. I am so sorry for everything I put you through. But you shouldn’t blame yourself because of my mistakes,” Nikki rubbed his hands together, sitting deeper into his chair, not knowing what else to say. Sammi stared at Nikki for a good minute, the tears drying on her cheeks with traces of mascara mixed in. She rubbed her head as everyone was silent. Dr. Hawkins examined how everyone appeared. They all looked tired from all the chaos that was their lives. Hawkins wrote down a few bullet points for her colleagues to keep track of when it was time for the band's personal sessions, now hoping for a time to move forward.

“This is good. It’s necessary to open up about the things we keep hidden inside. When else would you have these kinds of conversations?” Dr. Hawkins said, smiling at everyone.

“I would say over drinks but fuck that,” Sammi mumbled, wiping away all her tears, the guys snickering along with her.

“Now, Vince, would you like to talk about your relationship with Sammi?”

“No,” Vince blurted out straightforwardly.

“And why not?” Dr. Hawkins asked kindly.

“Because there isn’t much to talk about. We dated. I cheated. Sammi got with Nikki. I hated it, and that’s it,”

“Well, I did tell you to hold onto that thought. Why did you hate it when Sammi decided to spend her time with Nikki?”

Vince sighed out, shifting over a leg to feel comfortable. “To me, it felt like she lied. She told me she and Nikki never had sex before we got together; it turns out they did. It just made me think if anything happened when we were together. Sammi said they didn’t, but I don’t know,”

“But you were the only one to have an affair while the relationship was going on. You’ve called yourself a hypocrite for it. So why continue this attitude if you seem to know the error?”

“Because he’s an egotistical prick,” Sammi said, looking down at her nails. Tommy hid his mouth in his hands, trying to not show too much of the smile he had on. Dr. Hawkins' attention turned to Sammi with a smile.

“I am not!” Vince objected out loud. Mick and Nikki relaxed, ready for the show to begin where they knew there’d be no crying.

“Yeah, you are! You fucking got mad at me for even suggesting rehab two months ago!”

“Why do you think Vince is egotistical, Sammi?”

“Because he can’t admit to his own mistakes. Before everything, he would sleep with girls around me all the time before we got together, one of them being my old best friend, and I don’t say anything. I only slept with Nikki once before Vince and I were together, and Vince gets mad when he finds out even when we aren’t together anymore. He cheats and gets into a relationship with the woman. I don’t do anything. I get with Nikki and keep it to ourselves; he acts as I cheated on him. He has no leg to stand on for being mad at me,” complained Sammi with a huff.

“Nikki, did you try to get with Sammi when she was in a relationship with Vince?”

Nikki thought about it for a moment, trying to remember the short romance of Sammi and Vince. “Not really. I’d flirt with her constantly, but I never tried anything. I would tell her Vince was going to cheat on her every chance I got through,”

“You knew about him cheating? Did you two know about Vince’s cheating, Tommy and Mick?”

“No,” the three said in unison. “If you know Vince, you know he can’t keep it in his pants. I’d tell her in a way to get back with me, and in the end, I was right,” said Nikki.

“I’ve gotten better at keeping it in my pants, okay? But I still can’t be hurt that my ex gets with one of my bandmates?” Vince asks in general to everyone.

“You can for a while, but dude, you have to admit that what you did to Sammi was way worse. I even told Nikki he was a better boyfriend to Sammi. Sammi living her life wasn’t your business anymore after they got together,” said Tommy.

“I know!”

“Then stop being a little bitch if Nikki and Sammi want to be together,” Mick ordered, crossing his arms. Nikki and Sammi glanced at each other, holding a gaze as if they were able to read what the other was thinking. Sammi looked away, pulling her earlobe as Mick judged Vince. Vince slouched in his chair, looking down at the floor like a little boy.

“Vince, do you believe the reason you’re mad at Sammi is that she somewhat treated you the way you’ve treated women?” Dr. Hawkins asked, Vince and Sammi both scrunching their eyebrows together.

“What?” Sammi asked.

“Huh?” Vince asked.

“You’ve been explicit about your habit with women in private sessions, stating the pattern of finding someone soon after leaving someone else. In a way, after the breakup with you, Sammi moved on with someone else. Sammi also said you slept with women right before you two got into a relationship. She had relations with Nikki before you two got into a relationship. You’re angry because Sammi chose herself just like you’ve always done,”

“Wow, we’ve struck gold,” Tommy said all of a sudden, making Mick withhold a chuckle. Sammi smacked Tommy’s arm to shut him up, looking at Vince sympathetically.

“Vince, our relationship was nice, but you weren’t ready to be in a fully committed relationship. Can we just move on, please?” pleaded Sammi.

Vince only kept his eyes on the floor. “Yeah. I’m sorry,” Sammi didn’t believe it.

“Well, I think we’ve all made some progress here. Things out in the open moving forward with your fours sobriety,” said Dr. Hawkins with a proud smile on her face. “Any questions before ending today’s session?”

“Yeah, do people feel exhausted after a therapy session?” asked Sammi. This earned her a chuckle from Dr. Hawkins.

“Yes, Sammi. Yes, they do,”

After the great therapy session, the men decided it was best to show Sammi around the roof over their heads. Activities are done across the rehab to help keep addicts at ease and find other hobbies. Sammi had noticed how the guys were beginning to gain some muscle. It was proving wonders already.

“How much longer do you guys have in here?” asked Sammi sitting down by a shaded area.

“February just started so until the end of the month. We want to get that 60-day chip,” said Tommy with a smile.

“Wow. Well, everyone is proud of you guys back home. I told mama to give her an update when I get back,” said Sammi, pinching Tommy’s cheek.

“And when will that be?” asked Mick.

Sammi checked the watch on her wrist. “Shit… in about four hours. This was only a one day kind of deal,”

“Damn. At least we’re going to stay home for a bit before hitting up Canada,” said Vince. Sammi scrunched her brows together, looking at Nikki for some answers. He didn’t want to look at Sammi after therapy. Nikki didn’t want to see anyone after this session. “We’re gonna start the next album sometime after rehab. No one wants to lose their momentum,” explained Vince.

“Great, I’ll be more bored without you!”

“Oh, don’t worry, Little Girl. You can come to visit us whenever. We’d love it,” said Mick with a smile.

“I’d love that,” said Sammi. The five stayed in content silence for a while before Sammi stood up again. “Well, I love seeing you, but I have to get going. I don’t want to miss my flight,” Sammi said, going first to hug Tommy. It felt nice for Tommy to have somewhat of normalcy with just one hug. Moving on to Mick was surprisingly sweet, knowing hugs weren’t his thing. Vince didn’t stay too close, only giving Sammi a side hug. When Sammi stood in front of Nikki, it was as if there was an invisible force between them. They stared at each other for a moment until Sammi took the plunge. Sammi swiftly wrapped her arms around Nikki’s torso, relieved to feel the same reciprocated. Vince looked away at the two as Nikki hid his face in Sammi’s hair. The two stayed silent even as they pulled away, eyes meeting only.

Nikki only wished this wasn’t his present. Wishing to join Sammi to walk out of here and get back to California.

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raging-violets · 5 years

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how was the jackson family created? and what's their backstory? :D

Thanks for the ask! We love talking about our babies. We could go on and on, so this is a decent lengthed post - and we did take a different route with answering your second question. Which is why it’s under a read more.

We’re just sorry we don’t do much with them on here, but are moving into doing more (and re-working our OC page), and answering questions and everything.

Let’s get started!

Tag: @dancerdramatic14, @foxesandmagic

So! The Jackson are the first OCs we ever created without really know what OCs were. Because, at the time, fifth grade, we were just writing separate stories for ourselves, very, very loosely based on ourselves, but our characters had our names - because duh. (And it’s fun to write about yourself in different situations.)

Anyway, first it started off as writing fanfics - though we didn’t know what fanfic was at the time and was introduced to it later - like with Pokemon or Digimon but with ourselves added into it, but at the same time we were also just writing original stories. When we talked to each other about the original stories, we came to find we wrote about the same family dynamic - two parents, older daughter and younger son. We both named the younger son, Patrick.

Then we decided to write the characters together. We made the two older daughters twins, kept Patrick and gave him a twin named Noah (because they’re both one of our favorite boys’ names), and then rounded out the family with a baby brother named Sydney - because it’s another of our favorite boys’ names and we really want to go to Australia one day.(As a side note: First it was just those five. Then later on (years later after writing a bunch of fanfics), we added an older brother named Julius. We don’t write him as often, a lot of the time explaining he’s more of a secondary character, but he’s just as important with the family and how we’ve written and changed these characters over the 10+ yeas we’ve had them.)+-+

Once we had these five characters established, and knew what fanfiction was, we decided to start putting them into our favorite fandoms. First it started with 3 Ninjas and branched out from there; putting in fandoms we thought they’d fit in: Mighty Ducks, Suite Life of Zack and Cody, Hananh Montana, iCarly, Johnny Kapahala, Big Time Rush, Just My Luck/Busted/McBusted, and those are the ones I just remember. By doing so, they became our main multifandom OCs.

(Second side note: We’re cringing so hard, but we also have to acknowledge that at the time of creating our OCs, we were really into anime at the time, and would also write for fandoms like Yu-Gi-Oh, InuYasha, and Yu Yu Hakusho. So when we first created our OCs, they went by: Rikku Hiroshima, Rumiku Hiroshima, Patrick “Sparky” Hiroshima, Noah “Physic” Hiroshima, and Sydney Hiroshima. They had red hair (Riley) and blue eyes, Silver hair (Rhuben) and violet eyes, Yellow hair (Patrick) and blue eyes, Silver hair (Noah) and violet eyes, and Blue hair (Sydney) and blue eyes. Depending on the fandom, they also had abilities they could weild, in a series we called “Elementals” - because who doesn’t love canon characters in an AU where they’re the chosen ones and weild powers - Riley’s was fire, Rhuben’s was darkness, Patrick’s was thunder, Noah’s was SilverWind, and Sydney’s was spirits).

As for their backstory, it really did start only as angst for angst sake. We needed a reason for them to move from Australia to America and have a reason for them to interact with the main canon characters of whatever fandom we put them in. Parents dying in a fire. Abusive parent. We really piled it on. However:

Around this time, a LOT of people (ourselves included) were doing song-fics or had songs as titles as fics. You know the ones “Welcome to My Life,” “Numb,” “Behind Blue Eyes,” those kinds of things. Listening to songs like that, (we’re big fans of LP and Simple Plan) we decided to give them the background of their parents dying in a house fire, being adopted (this was the original idea, we changed it to being put into foster care) by an abusive man who moved them to America - unsurprisingly, to whatever locale the fandom was set in - under the guise of being in a touring family band.

Plus, we love music and love finding new music and giving any excuse to write about music and bands, and meeting our favorite musicians (and maybe falling in love with our favorite musicians) was fun. With “bandfiction” fandoms like Big Time Rush, and Just My Luck, it was easy to keep that as an important part of the Jacksons as a whole.

Anyway, in our fics, the main canon characters would either be a fan of, or be introduced the to family band, meet them, slowly become friends with them, start to piece together something was wrong leading to a confrontation all the while having Riley and Rhuben fall in love with whichever two guys we liked the most from the show. For a while, this was the formula for whatever new fics we wrote/new fandoms we wrote in. And at the time, the “darkness” and “edgieness” and “badassness” and “I curse and am rude to you all the time” of our OCs was waaaaaay over the top, admittedly.

Our OCs, as mentioned above, were first introduced with their “japanese names” as we always knew thier mother was Japanese-American (and had the name Ruriko, choosing the American name Renee), and their father, was Australian (named Tate, but usually goes by his middle name Reed). We wised up, learned more about the Japanese culture and changed our OCs Japanese names to Seiji Himada/Sydney Jackson, Padi Himada/Patrick Jackson, Noburu Himada/Noah Jackson, Rikku Himada/Rilandon ‘Riley’ Jackson, and Rumiku Himada/Rhubella ‘Rhuben’ Jackson - though we don’t refer to them this way, anymore. Himada was their mother’s surname before marrying Reed. After a bit we just stuck with their English names, focusing more on the fact that they were Australian - because, again, we’ve always wanted to travel to Australia, and so we took the time to research, and watch videos, read blogs, etc etc as much as possible to learn as much as we could.

All in all, we like to say our “weeb-lite” and emo phases never manifested in real life because we put it all into our characters. (Thank god)

Basically, their backstory is this: Rocket Scientist Reed Jackson, and stay-at-home-mom/teacher/Reed’s assistant, Renee Jacksonmet in college at NYU and quickly fell in love with each other. They moved to Australia to start their family and had Julius. They used IVF to have Riley and Rhuben three years later (wanting a girl), Patrick and Noah three years after that (wanting to have another boy), and Sydney came naturally five years after that. Julius is 11/12, Riley and Rhuben are 9, Patrick and Noah are 6, and Sydney is a little over 1 year old when their house suddenly burst into flames one night. Whether it was an electrical fire, a flash over, arson, what have you, isn’t discovered until later. But their parents, are killed in the fire. Julius was the one to lead his brothers and sisters out of the house, but went back in when he realized he couldn’t find his parents outside - because they were still in the house looking for their kids, not knowing they were safe outside. Julius manages to make it back outside, but in the resulting chaos, is hit by a car and taken to the hospital, separating himself from his brothers and sisters - and resulting in his lasting memory issues as he gets older. After the death of their parents, the Jacksons had the opportunity to go live with their grandparents on their dad’s side, who were older and only had the time/patience/ability to care for one child so they took Julius, or their Uncle on their father’s side, who was too distraught with grief and anger to want to take his nieces and nephews in. Family on Renee’s side couldn’t be reached, so they went into foster care. Robert was the only one who wanted to take all five of them and once he did, he moved them to America - though the stresses of being a single parent was too great for him and he took it out on his children.

Over the 10+ years we’ve had these characters, we toned down the more angsty (*Cough* over the top *cough*) things, turned up all of our OCs differing personalities and how they mesh with and pull against each other and canon characters, adding more lasting issues from their abuse such as bipolar disorder, selective mutism, eating disorder, their differing idea of what love is and how they go about getting it, and a whole lot more to make them more realistic characters.

Recently, we’ve also started thinking, “What would they be like if their parents were still alive?” “Would they still be this way?” “Would they still act like this?” and started deciding on which fandoms would still have their parents around (at the moment, it’s only the 3 Ninjas fandom).

But we love these characters to death. Characters who have their faults, but you want to root for, and who truly love their friends and family, and stumble and fall as they move to their goals of having a happy life. And we’re glad others like them and have been a part of thier journey and growth whether readers were there from the beginning or found out about them partway through.

We know they were once more popular characters we’ve had, and we have moved on to writing our more recent OCs, but that’s ok. We still love them. We’re insanely proud of how we’ve had them grow and change over the years. And we’re glad people like or have liked them.

#avengiers #oc talk #the jacksons #oc: the jacksons #riley jackson #rhuben jackson #patrick jackson #noah jackson #sydney jackson #riley and rhuben responds #thanks for sending this in #we could talk about our babies all day every day #answered ask

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lickstynine · 5 years

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How about fever Kit but trying to cope on his own? Maybe he has stuff to actually do, maybe he tries to go to class for once? It all finally gets too much for him but then Siofra steps in to the rescue at the end

Dedicated to my pal @ocsickficsideblog. You didn’t write this with me, but I used your idiots as a plot device, so, thanks.

Kit was sitting in Fox’s study, in the big leather chair, blanket on his shoulders and phone in his hand. He had been scrolling through his contacts all morning looking for someone to talk to. It was finals week, so Alistair and Julius were off the table - that was the only reason Kit was even at the manor. He felt like enough of a burden just lying around his cousin’s flat, he couldn’t interrupt Alistair’s studies, too.

Siofra wasn’t an option either, she had a big show coming up, she’d be rehearsing with her brothers all day. The rest of his “Favourites” were even less feasible - Kit hadn’t spoken to Nina, Isabella, or Leander since his falling out with Violet. He couldn’t even place most of the other names on his contact list. Looking back through his texts, he realized the only person he even talked to besides Siofra, Alistair, and Julius was Taddy. Did that even count? Taddy probably wouldn’t want a thing to do with Kit if it weren’t his job.

Kit sighed. He was alone. At least he was free to roam the house. Reggie liked to travel in the summer, and as far as he cared, summer stretched from May to October. He also had a wife to shop for, now that his divorce was finalized. Kit had overheard his father talking the other night: “I might get an Oriental this time. Those girls know their place.” He’d felt an uncannily Alistair-ish urge to spit in Reggie’s face.

Kit shook his head at the memory, closing his contacts and opening Facebook out of sheer boredom. No one his age really posted on there anymore, but at least it was something to do. He was skimming disinterestedly when a picture nearly made him drop his phone. John Renfrew, looking bitchy as ever, with a baby in his arms. His wife had captioned the photo: Rhoda is nearly six months now!

It took several moments for Kit to scrape his jaw off the floor. He continued to stare at the picture, as if it was going to change to something that made more sense, like John kicking a baby. How the fuck did John have a baby? Kit remembered Alistair saying his older cousin got married, but he’d assumed that would be about as long and fruitful as any of Reggie’s many marriages. And even worse was the idea of that sadistic bastard raising a child. Kit couldn’t imagine any girl who’d settle for John to be that pleasant. He clicked his tongue. Poor Rhoda.

Eventually Kit was able to tear his eyes from the post, and he continued scrolling. If he fixated on every child their family ruined, he’d never have time to do anything else. To his surprise, one of the next photos he saw actually had him in it. It was a picture Julius had posted last week, of Kit and Alistair kneeling on the floor while Oliver the hamster ran around them. Kit clicked on Julius’s name, hoping to see something a little more uplifting than his wretched family. A number on the profile page caught his eye - 28 May, 1998.

28 May? That had to be soon, if it was time for finals. Kit closed Facebook to check the date on his phone. He had a little less than three weeks, but now he also had an idea for something to do today. Julius needed a proper birthday present - it wasn’t like Alistair could afford one. If Kit went out now, he’d have time to custom-order products in Julius’s ridiculously small size. Of course, going out also required getting up and getting dressed. Ah, well. For Julius, Kit would do it. Or at least, he intended to.

As he stood up, Kit realized just how tired he was. He felt heavy and sluggish, and he shivered when his blanket slipped off. Was it really that cold in the house? He thought he’d turned the heat up when Reggie left. He shrugged it off, pulling his notepad out of his pyjama pocket.

Turn up heat, he scribbled, flicking through used pages to see if he’d actually written down what he was looking for. It was mostly just memos and musings, but when he got a few weeks back, Kit grinned. Julie Measurements, said the header. The following lines were all numbers with identifying shorthand. Kit couldn’t help being a little proud of himself for thinking to write this down last time he’d taken Julius shopping.

Walking up the stairs was frustratingly laborious; Kit almost missed Alistair’s single-story flat for a moment. He slogged down the hallway to his bedroom, leafing through his closet. The weather was supposed to be nice today, some fresh air would probably do him good (and hopefully it would be a little warmer outside). He settled on a charcoal blazer over a thin blue jumper and white button-down, with dark jeans. His earrings were already all silver, so he just grabbed a coordinating watch and a silver pendant with a small sapphire. It took a few minutes to find his charcoal boots, but he eventually dug them out, deftly loosing and re-tying the laces.

As usual, Kit spent another thirty minutes just fussing over his hair, and another ten concealing dark circles and putting on mascara. It was a bit after lunchtime by now, but he wasn’t even remotely hungry. He thought he might stop for tea on his way to the shopping centre - hopefully that would warm and wake him a little.

Gathering his phone, wallet, and keys, Kit finally made his way downstairs. He opened the door, and to his dismay, it was actually cooler outside than in the manor. He got about five steps down the walk before caving and ducking back inside to grab a proper coat. Even with his pea coat on, he felt a bit shivery, but Kit told himself it was the breeze. He just hadn’t gone out much lately, he would get acclimated soon enough. Besides, he was going out for Julius’s sake. He’d be a bit of a shit friend if he gave up at the slightest breath of wind.

Though he’d walked from the manor to the shopping centre from plenty of times, Kit found himself exhausted by the time he approached downtown. He needed to sit down, get some caffeine in his system. He spotted a familiar little cafe on the corner, trudging inside and practically collapsing in a chair.

It was hard to read the menu - the words seemed to wobble on the page, and squinting to focus them made his head hurt. Kit eventually gave up, just setting it aside and defeatedly ordering his usual earl grey.

“Will that be all for you?” The waitress’s voice sounded distorted and distant, like she was at the far end of a wind tunnel. Kit took a moment to process her question, and even longer to construct an answer.

“Me? Oh, um… yes. That’s all. Thank you.”

As the waitress walked away, Kit felt his face burning red. When did he get so bad at talking to people? Sure, he hadn’t been as social recently, but he was usually still charming when he tried. Just now, though, he’d been as awkward as Alistair. He sighed, staring quietly at the tablecloth. What was wrong with him today? He was shivering even in the cafe, with the heat of the kitchen warming the dining area. Hopefully some time to rest and a cup of tea would straighten him out.

By the time the waitress returned with his drink, Kit had completely spaced out. The poor girl stood there awkwardly for a moment before clearing her throat. That got his attention, and he looked up at her, albeit with unfocused, glassy eyes.

“Hm?”

“Your tea, sir?” The waitress smiled gently, setting it on the table when Kit gave her an affirming nod. “Careful, it’s hot.”

“Thank you.” He mumbled, not trusting himself to say more without looking like a stuttering idiot. She nodded back and hurried off to check on other tables.

Kit wrapped his fingers around the teacup, relishing the heat. His hands were always the worst affected when he was cold, often going clumsy and numb at seemingly moderate temperatures. He just held the cup for a minute, letting the warmth seep into his fingers. After staring into the abyss of his tea for a while, Kit eventually remembered that he’d purchased a drink, not a hand warmer, and he lifted the cup, taking a tiny sip.

The tea was still warm, fragrant with the familiar citrus note that all good earl grey had. Kit sipped again, sighing contently. He had always liked this cafe. Though the fog in his head refused to clear, he wasn’t shivering so much anymore. When his teacup was empty, Kit stared at it for a moment, wondering if he should have another cup.

No. He still had shopping to do. This was probably the only time he would be able to do it, too. When finals were over in a few days, Alistair would be attached to him at the hip again, and Kit didn’t trust his cousin to keep the gifts secret. He sighed deeply, pushing his chair out and climbing to his feet. He left a crisp twenty-pound note on the table and walked out onto the street.

The shopping centre was still a ways down the road, but there were some standalone shops along the way. Kit gazed in the windows as he walked past, waiting to see if anything caught his eye. Nothing had piqued his interest yet, but he was an object of interest to many of the girls walking by. A few of them stopped to stare, whispering between each other about asking for his number. They weren’t being very subtle, but Kit was too spacey to notice them, staring vacantly into the store he was walking past. He was about to leave it behind when he saw a pale beige jumper, patterned with tiny flecks of brown and grey. It wasn’t as flamboyant or avant-garde as something Kit would buy for himself, but it struck him as distinctly Julius.

He turned and went back to the entrance of the shop, pushing the pull door for a moment before realizing he was an idiot and letting himself inside. He wove through racks and mannequins, making his way back to the jumper he’d seen. Up close, it had even more subtle variations of colour, with greys and browns that were almost blue and pink respectively. Kit reached out a hand to touch the delicate fabric. It was stunningly soft, a beautiful blend of silk and cashmere. He thumbed through the racks, surprised and delighted to see that the smallest size would fit Julius superbly.

Carefully pulling the sweater away from its larger brethren, Kit made his way to the checkout. Nothing else in the store was catching his eye, and he still needed time to browse the shopping centre. He mumbled his way through the transaction, sticking his card in the chip reader without even checking the price. As soon as the bag was on his arm, he shuffled out of the store, continuing on his slog to the shopping centre.

It seemed like the road between Kit and the centre kept expanding, like some strange giant treadmill, but he knew it was just an illusion. Though he knew he couldn’t be far by now, it was hard to keep going. The tea had done almost nothing for his energy levels, and the sweater on his arm seemed to weigh a hundred pounds. Eventually, almost subconsciously, he just deposited himself on a bench, leaning back with a tired sigh. Everything was starting to feel cold again, and he pulled the shopping bag into his lap, hugging it close.

Kit wasn’t sure how long he’d been sitting on the bench, or whether he’d drifted off or just zoned out, but he snapped back to reality when his phone started ringing. He had to fish through a few pockets to find it, not even checking the caller ID before answering.

“Hm?”

“Oi! I’ve texted you three different times today. You really are rubbish at texting. Anyway, rehearsal let out early, Riagán’s dumb arse scheduled a date tonight even though we were supposed to be practicing. I was wonderin’ if ya wanted to grab dinner or somethin?” Siofra jabbered away, talking too quickly to even notice Kit’s lack of response. When her question was met with prolonged silence, however, she didn’t hesitate to prod. “Oi! You alive over there?”

“Hm?”

“Jaysus, did you hear a word I’ve been fuckin’ sayin?” Siofra groaned.

Kit chuckled sheepishly. “Not really. Sorry. It’s not you, I’m just… tired.”

Siofra clicked her tongue. “I can tell. You sound fuckin’ terrible. Did I wake ya up or somethin’?”

“No… sort of… I’m not really sure.” Kit mumbled.

“How are ya not sure? I think you’d know if you were sleepin’.”

“You’d think…” Kit sighed, “It’s… it’s been a day. I’m just… out of it.”

“Obviously. It’s fine if you’re not up to dinner or whatever. You need to talk?” Siofra asked. She was properly concerned now - normally Kit would at least invite her over for dinner, even if he didn’t want to go out.

“No, I… I’m alright. I just need a rest.” He insisted.

Siofra wasn’t particularly convinced, but she didn’t want to pester. “Rest, then.”

“I will, once I get home.” Kit said.

“You’re not home? Where are you?” Siofra was even more worried now.

“Shopping.” Kit answered, “Julie’s birthday is coming up, I was looking for gifts for him.”

“Didja buy a truckload’o Xanax for yourself? You sound fuckin’ out of it.” Siofra fussed.

“No, I just… I’m tired. It was a long walk from the manor.”

“You walked? Why the fuck didn’t you just call Taddy?” Siofra cried.

Kit sniffled quietly. “Taddy doesn’t like me. He just puts up with me because I pay him.”

Siofra groaned. “What are you on about? He clearly likes ya, he’d get up at half four if ya needed a lift somewhere.”

“Only for the sake of the paycheck. I’m just a job for him, and a burden for everyone else.” Kit said morosely. “I had to leave Al and Julie alone this week, they have real responsibilities. They don’t need to deal with my pathetic arse on top of that.”

“Chrissakes, are you drunk or somethin’? You’re talkin’ nonsense.” Siofra muttered. “Look, where are you? I’m just about to drop Cilli at home anyway, I can come pick you up.”

Kit looked around, but he wasn’t near any street signs. “Uh… I’m… I’m downtown. By the shops.”

Siofra sighed. “Just send me your location. Put me on speaker, open our texts. I’ll walk ya through it.”

It took several minutes of “no, not that,” and muttered Gaelic curses, but eventually Kit’s location popped up on Siofra’s phone. She sighed again, this time in relief.

“Oh, you’re not far at all. I’ll be there soon. Stay put, don’t do anything stupid. Try not to get mugged.”

“I’ll try.” Kit said, squinting at the buttons on his phone. They were wobbling out of focus again, and he couldn’t figure out how to turn off speaker. Siofra saved him the trouble, hanging up so she could drive. Kit locked his phone, tucking it back in his pocket and slumping down further on the bench. He must look like the most expensive bum, he thought.

As promised, Siofra pulled up barely fifteen minutes later. Still on the bench, Kit had spaced out, staring into the middle distance beyond the street. Siofra rolled her eyes, parking the car and climbing out. She walked over and patted his cheek, shocked to find it hot to the touch.

“Oi. Time to go, Princess. I need to get ya home.” Siofra said, feeling his forehead with the back of her hand. “Lord, I really need to get ya home. You’re burnin’ up.”

“I am?” Kit asked, standing obediently when Siofra tugged on his arm. She rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, you’re bloody boilin’, what are ya even doin’ out’o bed?”

“I… didn’t notice.” Kit mumbled.

Siofra sighed so hard, it made her curls bounce. “Jaysus. How do you not notice bein’ a walkin’ space heater? You’re normally a fuckin’ ice sculpture.”

Kit shrugged. “I mean… I’ve been a little cold today. I thought it was just the weather.”

“Christ…” Siofra shook her head, buckling Kit in the passenger seat. “Come on, we gotta get you in bed.”

“Can I have my special blanket?”

“Is it at yours?” Siofra asked.

Kit’s face fell. “No… I left it at Al’s.”

Siofra rolled her eyes. “I’ll call him.”

#whump #illness #fever #kit #raycraft #siofra #rafferty #caretaking #anonymous

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dracolanguorem-blog · 7 years

Text

It had been a year already. A year of unfillable emptiness. A year of putting back together a puzzle with half the pieces missing.

She was used to it now, for lack of a better word -- the dimmed colors of the world, the crashing numb after joy knowing she couldn’t share it with Vax’ildan. She wondered if he saw her day after day, reserving time to cry for him in private, being selfish still as she gripped at her throat, closed from her wailing and sobs.

She would never accept it. She could never accept it.

Vex’ahlia passed through Whitestone quietly, stealthily, as if she were once again a forsaken child that no one bothered seeing. She was sure she was a sight, however; armor she hadn’t worn in almost a year still fit her like a glove ( minus the small bump in her stomach to show she was expecting ) all the while the people of her home probably wondered if there was a quarry for the Mistress of the Grey Hunt and her dutiful companion who trailed behind her, ever keen on the suffering that consumed her.

( If they were half as observant as she needed to be they would wonder for the rest of their days why there was a quarry on the same day every year. )

There was no quarry -- but camping out in a gown was impractical.

She can see the snowdrops still as they surround Vox Machina and line each and every one of Vax’s footsteps. She can feel the icy gaze of the Raven Queen as she steals her brother in a flurry of black feathers. She remembers the heat of her face and the sound of Keyleth’s sobs in her ear. He left them both behind on that day. He left them all behind, and she still isn’t sure she can forgive him for it.

Will the bitterness ever go away? He is a hero; he was selfless, to the end. She’s angry that he’s gone, and angry she’s still sore over it. She should be loving his memory all the time. She’s horrible for being otherwise. It’s why he was the perfect brother -- his virtues redeemed her faults, and without him it’s hard to hang on. She has Percy, Keyleth, Pike... all of their family.

But she doesn’t have her brother, and it’s a hole that can never be filled.

It was a hidden place -- though not exactly. Some had found it from time to time, though Vex was always careful to make sure it was safe from vandals or the elements. Trinket offered a small groan, and for the first time in the day Vex managed a small smile as she patted his fur gently. I know, darling.

She sat down on his bench quietly for a moment. Vex’ahlia took a deep breath, and then let out a loud wail before covering her face with her hands to cry without restraint.

She wishes for his arms around her, for him to braid her hair like he does so well. “Do not go far from me,” he would say. “I’m here for you always, sister. It’s alright. You are not alone.” But it won’t happen again -- not in this life, and it tears her apart to be growing old and starting a family without her brother. She mourns the children he will never have, the uncle her future child will be without. She mourns that he will never get married to the love of his life, or that he isn’t here to see Pike and Scanlan finally giving it a shot. She suffers at the idea that his final chapter in Scanlan’s book is the final one period.

“I do not accept this.” She had said it so firmly, like it would have made a difference. She remembers his face so vividly. She can see the way he looks at her. She can see their mother in him. It’s not fair, it’s not fair, it’s not fair. But he went, and she blames herself. Her life is a gift from him, and she feels like she’s cheated him from a chance at a happy future -- something he deserves more than her. He was the best of them.

And she can feel a presence suddenly. One that isn’t Trinket. One that feels familiar and soothing and eases her pain only slightly. A raven.

“I miss you.” She mumbled quietly, her hands dropping from her face to trail the carved name in the bench Pike had so lovingly made. “I miss you so much -- is it supposed to get better? Because I’m still waiting, dear brother, and it’s not getting better. I don’t want to grow old without you.”

The raven hopped slightly closer, it’s head craning to look at her sideways. She shook her head. She couldn’t look the bird in the eyes, as foolish as it was.

“It should have been me. It’s not fair, Vax -- it isn’t at all. And I’m so sorry.” The composure she had managed to muster immediately fell apart once more. “I’m trying, I promise. I’m being strong for you. I want to make you proud. It’s hard though, darling, because I see you in everything. But if I could go back to that day in Purvan’s tomb I would.”

Finally she managed the strength to extend an arm outwards. The raven took the invitation and perched itself on her arm. “You’ve told mother... that I miss her. I miss you both. Is she happy?” The raven caws, and Vex takes her free hand to stroke it’s feathers gently, “When she died... I never thought I would get over it, but I did -- only I had you with me.”

It offers another caw, this one louder, and she snorts slightly, “I need to shape up; I’m going to be a mother soon -- if it’s a boy he’ll be named Vax’ildan Frederick Julius Oliver Ludwig Von Mussel Kowalski de Rolo. I’m hoping he’s as big of a pain in my ass as you were.”

For a moment they sat in silence. Vex found comfort in stroking the wings of the raven -- one she had never seen in Whitestone before. Perhaps the ravens were a gift from both Vax and the Matron. “We all miss you, brother. I hope you’re visiting Keyleth as well. My dear sister doesn’t deserve to be left in the lurch -- you should be visiting us both equally, I’m just saying.” For a moment it shook its body, ruffling from her chastising -- and she laughed

All too soon it flies away, leaving a feather behind in its wake. Vex watches it until it’s too small to see, and once again she feels empty... but it doesn’t hurt, not anymore. She imagines it’s Vax, and she wishes she had her broom, that she might pick it up and fly with him until the sun sets. They didn’t have enough time together -- but they will see each other soon. Next time he visits they could fly together, perhaps. This might be what healing feels like.

Trinket rested his head against the ranger’s knee in comfort. Vex’ahlia gave him a gentle scratch behind the ears. “We’ll be alright, buddy.”

#CHARACTER SHEET * drabble.#bc if vax does it i do it to!!!!!!!!!!#warning my dudes SPOILERS #too Tired to proofread yolo lmao

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mbii · 7 years

Text

Mission Possible: Bison in Vegas, Brotherhood, and “The Upset”

I just wanted to run.

I wanted to run away from all of my problems, either self-made or world-made, and bathe in a shower of shoulder slaps and full body hugs. I wanted to go a place where I wouldn’t judge or be judged, or have to measure up to some illusory standard, or have to wear the mask or play a character for their delight or my survival. Orange Julius Caesar was still in office, and I was still reeling from Charlottesville.

I wanted to run. I needed to run. I’d promise to return and fight for oceans of justice and rivers of fairness, but for now, I needed to escape to my alma mater in the interest of self-preservation.

I wanted to be a lovable goofball. I wanted to sport an embarrassingly honest smile that spanned the width of my contiguous country, wear some ill-fitting alumni gear, and throw my arms around complete strangers while singing the aggressively long song of my university. Winning the weekend for me wasn’t about SCOREBOARD. It was about family coming together at a Kairos moment to share love when we all needed it the most.

But I’ll take the W.

HOWARD OVER UNLV! YA HEARD! WHAT WHAAAAAAAAT?

According to the sports books, this was the biggest upset in college football HISTORY.

The prediction? PAIN. We were supposed to lose by 45 points. $100 dollars on Howard with the right bookie would’ve gotten someone out from under a year of school debt.

YEP. THAT HAPPENED. Howard went ahead and became a football school. AND I WAS THERE.

Los Angeles is an urban sprawl. The numbers will tell you that it’s full of black folk, which is true, but we’re spread across this coastal city like a drop of grape jelly across two slices of white bread. I knew this was something to keep in mind as a DC transplant and native New Yorker, but even still, I was caught way off guard. Out here on the Left Coast, melanin just ain’t connected to each other like that.

Needless to say, I was eager to meet up with my HU family. I didn’t know anyone else going to Vegas – and part of me liked this, since I had quickly created a highly imaginative alternate reality where I would sneak into Vegas, act totally out of character for 72 hours, and jump back in my Prius for home (because why not save money on gas?). Walter Mitty would’ve been proud. But I caved to my better, more responsible self and invited two of my new LA friends to keep me in line – Gipp and Silk.

Gipp was a four-letter athlete at Howard, a starting wide receiver for our forlorn franchise for as long as his academic scholarship allowed. Gipp came from South Carolina as a two-sport guy in his high school days, but ditched his sprint spikes for a college career in cleats. Although Gipp and I didn’t attend Howard at the same time, we became fast friends through our shared Los Angeles church community and an equal zest for life and faith. He’s also the perfect Goose to my Maverick, unlike most sloppy husband types who forget what it is to navigate the perilous waters of young adult male singlehood.

Gipp and I added Silk later, after running into him at the Whole Foods in Playa Vista. He’s the hyper intelligent black computer engineer friend who writes code for dating apps that everyone should have. Silk lives a sneeze from new Silicon Beach (which is how he got his name), has forgotten more about cryptocurrencies that I’ll ever know, and is addicted to CrossFit. No lie. Silk may not have Gipp’s football pedigree but he’s built like an Olympic decathlete. This, of course, made me the fat guy of the group.

Once the group was set, weeks felt like days. Gipp’s wife said YES, I snagged a room at Aria, Silk rented a gluttonously large Ford Explorer, and we piled in and zipped across the Mojave Desert to Vegas.

After sleeping across the middle row for nearly the entire drive, I yawned like a hibernating bear, rubbed my eyes with my fists and looked through the front windshield at the fast approaching city. Las Vegas is quite charming from a distance, like watching a handful of middle-aged uncles proudly march into church on Easter Sunday with neon suits. Vegas’s skyscrapers touched the sky like Babel’s towers, but exist as nameless and faceless trophies until you get in range. Mandalay Bay. Tropicana. Luxor. Planet Hollywood. This was Las Vegas, in its marvelous splendor, standing as a symbolic affront to restraint.

We parked the Explorer at Aria, opened our doors, and got smacked in the face by the heat. It was God’s reminder that we were still in His desert, and we hightailed it for the hotel lobby. We checked in, inhaled three burgers at Gordon Ramsay’s, and strolled through the adjacent indoor mall like conquering heroes, analyzing the Labor Day horde that we were about to share our weekend with.

You see, Las Vegas is a city without duplicates. You’ve got your red hats, your coastals, your warlocks, your hookers, your fixed incomers, your derelicts, your grandmas and grandpas, your fiends, your infants, your sultans, your tycoons, your hipsters, your dancing girls and your degenerates, of all colors and shapes, crammed along one long strip of concrete, baking in the desert heat.

Not one person looks the same in Vegas. Gipp and I walked past a six-foot-three black man in the middle of the mall wearing a black welding visor that covered his face down to his mustache, a second golf visor above the first that stretched horizontally from his forehead (presumably, to shield the sun), a black fishnet shirt, and pink marina shorts that squeezed his quads like they were pigs in a blanket. And the man stared at us as if we were out of place.

After a Friday night alumni event catered by the good folks of HUAA (free food!), a superb community service project that I hear went GREAT! (we, umm, overslept), and a full day of soaking in poolside rays and Top 25 football games over family-style meats (although the food at the book left MUCH to be desired)…we made our way to Sam Boyd Stadium, home of the Runnin’ Rebels.

Yes, we were late. In our defense, we were afraid of getting barbequed by the Vegas desert. So, from the parking lot, we heard the public address announcer yell the first score of the game at us:

“TOUCHDOWN! FIFTY-TWO YARD RUN BY CAYLIN NEWTON! HOWARD UP 7 TO 0!”

I looked at Gipp. His mouth had already hit the asphalt like a grand piano.

“Wait, WHAAAAAAAA???”

We darted into the stadium, looked for our seats, and scanned the field turf for clues. The alumni section murmured politely, with a select few engaging in cautious celebration. Let’s keep it 100. We were pretty, pretty confident that this was a fluke. I remember the Jay Walker tales, but come on man: this is Howard football. We had to crumble sooner or later, right? Right?

For starters, UNLV’s QB was a cool six-foot six-inch black Randall Cunningham clone who could get seven yards a snap. UNLV also had a running back who I derisively called NUMBER 3. Dude moved like a Create a Player in Madden whose speed and agility were maxed to 99. And our diminutive defensive front made their offense look like The Monstars from Space Jam.

But, to our surprise, our defense bent without breaking. They were the unsung heroes. UNLV would hit a big play – like a monster play-action pass at the end of the first quarter to put them in the red zone – and our Bison would burr their noses into the goal line and hold them to chip shots.

A long run by College Randall Cunningham. Only 3.

A short field after a short punt. Still 3.

Later, a HUGE mistake by their QB…he was rushing to the line after another one of his backbreaking downfield plays…fumbled inside our 30-yard line, and our senior linebacker Rollins scooped the loose ball (he bobbled for a second in our line of sight and we GASPED) and rumbled down the sideline with an envoy of his comrades to pay dirt. 21-9. BISON.

UNLV quickly got some of it back, but the halftime score told no lies. In the face of open disbelief, Howard football was WINNING. 21-19 after 30 minutes.

It was a short halftime show. Showtime marched with a skeleton crew and UNLV danced their pirated moves. Meanwhile, the winds at Sam Boyd picked up to Dust Bowl levels. The debris blew so much that I watched most of the third quarter through my sunglasses like a freshman at his first nightclub.

The third quarter was rough. The Rebels ran out like dogs with their tails on fire, scoring two quick touchdowns and sending some of our alums straight to the strip. 33-21, UNLV. We got the ball back and Philyaw – our ex-quarterback-turned-running back and runner-up for Player of the Game – quickly scored on a short run from three yards out. 33-28, UNLV.

Throughout the half, the wind was catching kickoffs and pulling them directly to Earth. On our ensuing kickoff after the score, the wind forced the ball into the hands of a clumsy UNLV up man, who promptly fumbled the ball right back to our squad. Short field. Back to Philyaw. Touchdown. Go for TWO? Why not!

36-33, BISON.

Now, it was the fourth quarter. The wind flipped to our backs and our kicker booted the next kickoff into the UNLV end zone. UNLV started their drive at the 20, with a healthy dose of NUMBER 3, their all-Madden man. Six handoffs later, he was dancing in the far end zone, giving UNLV a 40-36 lead with just over 10 minutes left in the game. Gipp groaned, I stared deeply into the cement stands, and we began to prepare for the inevitable.

And then, Caylin Newton went to work.

Cam’s little brother is a tidy 5 feet, 10 inches. He looks and plays like a miniature version of the 2015 NFL MVP minus the alligator shoes and Popeye arms. Still, Caylin’s deft handling of the offense – read optioning, audibling at the line of scrimmage, jump passing, and getting to the edge on designed QB runs – proved far too skilled for the Howard program I knew. How did we get this guy? Did his family owe a pound of flesh to the Merchant of Venice?

On this go-ahead drive, Caylin picked apart UNLV’s defense like a NASCAR pit crew mechanic. Handoff. Handoff. Run. Handoff. BIG PASS. PLUNGE. SIX! Howard up by 3, with a half quarter to burn.

UNLV got the ball back, Howard held, and UNLV decided to punt into the wind. BAD IDEA. Only 10 yards in net distance, and we braced for the kill. Lil’ Cam got us to their goal line, but finally: UNLV’s d-line held firm. Turnover on downs.

Clone Cunningham got the ball in his hands at his own 2-yard line with a vendetta, firing a deep in route across his body to a streaking Vegas WR. His man caught it, had the angle on the Howard corner, slowed down for no apparent reason, and FUMBLED. HU with another recovery. Time to milk the clock.

Penalty. Run. Run. Run. Pooch Punt. Touchback. And UNLV got the ball back, 19 seconds away from becoming an opening weekend trivia question.

I stood up. My hands were on my head like a sprinter after interval training. I had done no running.

Pass one? COMPLETE for 19 yards. UNLV now on their 38. Could Randall throw a Hail Mary from here?

Pass two? Incomplete. My heart was beating out of my chest. Why is our defense so far back? MOVE CLOSER. OHMYGOD. SOMEONE TELLS ME WHEN IT ENDS.

13 seconds left.

Pass three? CAUGHT. By speedy NUMBER 3, my personal nemesis.

He made his first man miss, and sprinted across the 50. We had men on his tail, but he was just FASTER.

To the 45. SOMEBODY STOP HIM.

To the 40. WE CANNOT LOSE LIKE THIS.

Down. Tackled at the 30.

GAME OVER.

HOWARD 43, LAS VEGAS 40.

You remember the scene from Goodfellas, when Henry Hill is showering while listening to the radio for details on the Lufthansa Heist, hears the juicy goodness, and begins to shrill like a banshee?

“YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! JIMMY!”

That was me, in the backseat of our rental, yelling and pounding the mats with my feet like a rebellious toddler.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HOWARD! THE REAL HU! LET’S GOOOOOOO!”

We arrived back at Aria still delirious with excitement, cackling as black men do when richly enjoying the company of their own, sauntering into the casino at Aria like three sumo wrestlers after a buffet. We were using our outside voices inside, but we didn’t care. Something unbelievable had happened, and we were chosen by God as Las Vegas’s first apostles. And the whole world needed to know.

The tomb was empty, and our football program was alive.

MISSION POSSIBLE.

- mb

#howard #football #upsets #vegas

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whispersandwhiskerburn · 7 years

Text

Much Ado About SPN Results:

SPN Fanfic Writers Team Up With Shakespeare!

It’s April 23, 2017--453 years to the day since (historians believe) that William Shakespeare, one of the greatest English writers ever, was born...and 401 years to the day since the day the Bard died! :’(

However, his words live on in his plays that are performed each year, the movie adaptations, the sayings in everyday conversation...and now in Supernatural fanfiction!

When I hit 1.5k followers, I put out a rather daunting challenge to my followers: Write a Supernatural fic using a line from one of Shakespeare’s plays, and incorporate 2-3 SPN-themed words that begin with the same letter (I, like WS appreciate alliteration).

24 brave souls took on the challenge.

The results are below the read more link, along with a brief review/rec from me for each. I hope you enjoy these and take the time to share some love with the writers--this challenge was truly out of the box and they wrote some incredible things as a result.

Let the fun begin....

Thank you all for taking on this ridiculous challenge of mine. I was blown away by the submissions, and I truly hope you had as much, or at least half as much, fun writing them as I did reading them. Thank you so much!!

Fics are in alphabetical order by prompts, not by any preferences list.

“A Life I Would Have Known” by @buffylovesfoxmulder

Prompts: Anna, Angel Blade, AU (French Mistake/EndVerse) and “This above all: to thine own self be true. And it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man” (Hamlet I.3).

My Fangirling: An episode rewrite of the French Mistake where Anna subs in for a much more earnest Balthazar and the reader has a surprise up her sleeve for the Winchesters. I loved it. Lengthy, but worth the read. :)

“Wanted” by @arlaina28

Prompts: Benny Lafitte, Bunker, Brothers, “We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; for he to-day that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother” (Henry V IV.3).

My Fangirling: An absolutely lovely smut fic between Benny and the Reader that builds up in canon-style characterizations from first meeting to the “I love you” stage. An excellent read, and a brilliant use of her prompts.

*******A Fic is on the way here!!******

“Nothing Either Good or Bad” by @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog

Prompts: Donna Hanscum, Devil's Gate, Deals, and “ “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so” (Hamlet II.2).

My Fangirling: Mimi delivered again! An angsty-suspense with flashes of fluff Donna x Dean fic around the danger of a Devil’s Gate—the one in Wyoming. I loved this fic, and it’s not even my ship, so definitely check it out….and hold onto your seat!

“The Valiant” by @littlegreenplasticsoldier

Prompts: Ellen Harvelle, EMF Reader, and “Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once” (Julius Caesar II.2).

My Fangirling: I--I don’t know what to say here…it was beautiful and sad and it must have taken you so much time to create this, and I love it. It’s an angsty peek into Dean’s head during his time with Lisa, how he’s struggling to maintain, how he’s trying to cope with Sam’s loss—and it’s done in VERSE. You almost want to read it out loud. I just love this…and I think Shakespeare would be proud.

“Papa Don’t Preach” by @whatareyousearchingfordean

Prompts: First Blade, Fathers, “What’s gone and what’s past help should be past grief” (Winter’s Tale III.2)

My Fangirling: A Reader x Dean angst fic where she learns of a pregnancy that she hadn’t planned on and tries to explain to a Dean who worries about fatherhood. I loved the canon characterization.

*******A Fic is on the way here!!******

“All Dogs Go To Heaven” by @rachelladytietjens

Prompts: Hell Hound, Hex Bags, Heaven, and “We know what we are, but know not what we may be.” (Hamlet IV.5)

My Fangirling: With what was probably the coolest title in this challenge, she did an amazing job on this fic that had some really conflicting and challenging prompts! It’s short and sweet, with no pairing, but extremely intriguing and it raised so many questions for me. Brava!

“Not So Innocent After All” by @im-most-definitely-fangirling

Prompts: Impala (Baby), Innocence, and “If music be the food of love, play on” (Twelfth Night I.1).

My Fangirling: A body-swap fic between the Reader and Dean that reveals a lot of what they’ve been hiding from each other. I loved this—besides, where can you go wrong when you end up riding Dean on the Impala? AmIright ladies?

“Wine, Meddling, and Temptation” by @avasmommy224

Prompts: Jody Mills, John's Journal, Job (Hunting), “Tempt not a desperate man” (Romeo and Juliet IV.3).

My Fangirling: I love it! The fluff with a hint of angst and reader being besties with Jody? Brilliant! She did a great job working in ALL of the prompts and this fic is fantastic. I absolutely love Jody as a matchmaker--I can just see her worrying about finding the boys the perfect lady. :) Dean x Reader with future fun times—nothing wrong with that!

*******A Fic is on the way here!!******

“Just a Little Magic...” by @wi-deangirl77

Prompts: Meg Masters, Mark of Cain, Magic (Witchcraft), “I am one who loved not wisely but too well” (Othello V.2).

My Fangirling: I was prepared for weird when I put Mark of Cain with Meg Masters and Magic, but Jess managed a canon style fic of angsty goodness that everyone should read. It’s MOC!Dean x Reader and...oh, it’s just lovely. Go read! She says it’s the start of a new series—and I, personally, can’t wait to read it!

“Chase the Nightmares Away” by @destiel-addict-forever

Prompts: Nephilim, Naomi's Room, Nightmares, “You pay a great deal too dear for something that’s given freely” (Winter’s Tale I.1).

My Fangirling: This cute little fluffy drabble is a Daddy!Lucifer fic (not kink, reader is Luci’s kid), something I imagine we’ll see more and more of as this current series continues. I swear, when I made the prompt list and put Nephilim on it, I had no idea it would become such a big thing this year on the show! Great job.

*******A Fic is on the way here!!******

“Purple Moose, Orange Squirrel, and A Pink Dress” by @mrsbatesmotel53

Prompts: Pagan God (Not Loki/Gabriel), Pie, Pranks, “We have seen better days” (As You Like It II.7) and (Timon of Athens IV.2).

My Fangirling: I absolutely loved this! It was beautifully characterized: witty reader, western-loving Dean, sassy Rowena, protective/knowledgeable Sam….and the way you combined your prompts…I just loved it. Comedy, alternate timeline, canon style…what is not to love here?

“Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night” by @roxy-davenport

Promtps: Queen of Hell (Abaddon), Quincunx (Hoodoo symbol), Quips, and “Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall. Some run from breaks of ice, and answer none, and some condemned for one fault alone” (Measure for Measure II.1).

My Fangirling: A rewrite of an awesome episode to include a reader insert and pairing with Crowley, this fic, like many of @roxy-davenport’s, shows a sentimental and charming side of the King of Hell in a way that even makes this Dean!Girl think fondly of the red-eyed demon. I loved the sassy way she broke down the Shakespeare quote in the fic.

“Together We Thrive” by @deansarms

Prompts: Ruby's Knife, Revenge “I burn, I pine, I perish” (Taming of the Shrew I.1).

My Fangirling: I can NOT compliment this work enough. Absolute brilliance. It’s a poem that switches from Dean’s perspective (in italics) to Sam’s perspective. It centers around the Shakespeare quote, but it provides canon accurate characterization and plot in verse form, and it….ugh, just go read it. I think I’ve reread it like five times now. ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL.

“Friendships is Constant” by @atc74

Prompts: Samuel Campbell, Sigils, Souls, “Friendship is constant in all other things” (Much Ado About Nothing, II.1).

My Fangirling: Canon-style fluff and character analysis set in season 12, Angelina used all of her prompts, and created a catch-up moment between the boys and their mother that I think we all want to see happen on the show. Short, sweet, and adorable.

“Goodnight” by @besslincoln-bruh

Prompts: Uriel, Uniforms (Outfits), Underdog, and “Strong reasons make strong actions” (King John III.4).

My Fangirling: An interesting AU with a future Dean x Reader pairing. Reader is a lawyer trying her first defense case—to prove Dean Winchester innocent when the world (and the evidence) is against him. It was hard to tear myself away from this fic, and a creative use of all the prompts. Well worth a read!

“Sweet Revenge” by @plaidstiel-wormstache

This is a completed series. The link above is to the masterlist. She wrote it at as one long one-shot with the quote at the end, but I encouraged her to make it a series--and the whole thing is fabulous.

Prompts: Vengeful Spirits, the Veil, Vessel, and “If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?” (Merchant of Venice III.1).

My Fangirling: This friend went way above and beyond the call of duty and wrote a truly spectacular SERIES based off this prompt, with some inspiration in the form of a rather intriguing OFC. No pairing, but a beautiful use of all prompts in a canon-style fic set during John’s first solo hunt. Angst, sprinkles of fluff, some dark emotional stuff, and so much canon beauty…I love it. I don’t want to play favorites on this challenge, but this one is my favorite.

“Wrath” by @waywardjoy

Prompts: Werewolf, Wooden Stake, Wrath, and “Is this a dagger which I see before me…or art thou but a dagger of the mind, a false creation” (Macbeth II.1).

My Fangirling: Short but strong, an angsty Dean x Reader piece where you see the unbridled danger that is a wrathful Winchester. My wonderful bestie worked in all of her alphabet prompts and her Shakespeare quote brilliantly. She also helped me put this whole challenge together, so extra kudos to her. :D

“Forgotten Rituals” by @thegreatficmaster

This is a completed two-part fic. The link above is to the masterlist. Both parts are for this challenge--@thegreatficmaster took on two prompts.

Prompts: Yellow-Eyed Demon, Yarrow, Youth, Zachariah, Zoroastrian Symbol, Zenith (the most powerful time), “Hell is empty and all the devils are here” (Tempest I.2), and “Pray you now, forget and forgive.” (King Lear IV.7).

My Fangirling: Nini created a very original reader here for a story the likes of which I’ve never seen before, and doubt I will see again. Azazel x Reader, sexy times, strange magics, manipulation of time and angels, old world religions, unexpected fluff…just wow…. I won’t be forgetting this series any time soon. Great job!

This link will take you to the masterpost I made of all of my celebration challenges!

Fics still to come for this challenge:

C @bringmesomepie56, 15. “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them” (Twelfth Night II.5).

G @therealdeanwinchester13, 10. “Lord, what fools these mortals be!” (A Midsummer Night’s Dream III.2)

K @kalliravenne, 11. “I do love nothing in the world so well as you: is not that strange?” (Much Ado About Nothing IV.2).

L @hellssarcasticqueen, 19. “The miserable have no other medicine, but only hope” (Measure for Measure III.1).

O @little-red-83, 18. “Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt” (Measure for Measure I.4).

Tagging my Forever Crowd, because you guys need to see these so very much!

@2wonderinsighlents, @adaliamalfoy, @alcpegasus22, @andrastesflamingtitties, @angelofwinchester17, @alexastacio, @anokhi07, @ariethegreat98, @arryn-nyxx, @autopistaaningunaparte, @avasmommy224, @bennyyh, @benjerry707, @bringmesomepie56, @bucky-thorin-winchester, @bulletscrossbowpie, @but-deans-back-tho, @captainemwinchester, @carry-on-ms-believer, @casownsmyass, @cfordwrites, @chaos-and-the-calm67, @dancingalone21, @d-s-winchester, @deafgirlsarecooler, @deandoesthingstome, @deanfuckingwinchesterrr, @deanscherrypie, @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog, @deanwinchesterforpromqueen, @deliciouslyshadowymilkshake, @demonangelimpala, @demondeansdomme, @end-lessnights, @faith-in-dean, @fandommaniacx, @feelmyroarrrr, @fiveleaf, @graceforme86, @i-is-for-inspiring, @ilostmyshoe-79, @impala-dreamer, @jalove-wecallhimdean, @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes, @jencharlan, @jensen-gal, @jotink78, @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms, @katnharper, @kittenofdoomage, @kristaparadowski, @lipstickandwhiskey, @littlegreenplasticsoldier, @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid, @love-kittykat21, @loreleilara, @lunarsaturn88, @luv4jensen, @marilynnlew, @millaraysuyai, @mogaruke, @moonstonemystyk, @mrsbatesmotel53, @mrsjohnsmith, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @mzpearlz, @nicolesyneah25, @nightmaredean, @notnatural-supernatural, @paintrider13-blog, @pinknerdpanda, @plaidstiel-wormstache, @rizlowwritessortof, @roxy-davenport, @rushernparadise, @salvachester, @septicxsoulxdarkxmind, @scorpiongirl1, @skathan-omaha, @spnrvt, @supernatural-jackles, @supernaturalyobsessed, @theafinnerup, @thegreatficmaster, @vote-for-pedro, @waywardjoy, @wevegotworktodo, @wi-deangirl77, @wonderange, @withoutaplease, @writingbeautifulmen, @xtina2191, @yoursmilemakesmeloveyou, and @yume-deaimashou

#spnfanfic #dean x reader #crowley x reader #angst #fluff #smut #masterlist #muchadoaboutspn #shakespeare meets spn #Check these out!

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talpup · 4 years

Text

Light In the Darkness: 25

Please remember this fic is rated mature and has warnings of violence, abuse, sexual tension, eventual sexual behavior, and other possible triggers.

***If you prefer reading off AO3 here’s the link for that: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20887595/chapters/56533375

Thank you to those who have left hearts. And a special THANK YOU to those who have recently left comments or re-blogged. They really mean a lot.

Taglist: @captncappuccino .

25.1

It had been a week and a day since Teris’ return from her family home and despite her friends best efforts the Black Bulls base, which had felt more like home before her departure, had begun to feel like a trap laid field. Every time she entered a room Yami exited. He rarely, if ever, joined them during meal time and when he did he sat to the right of Tobin and Bran, three positions down from sitting across from Bronn. Why anyone would choose to be that close to Bronn, no matter how much they hated her, was beyond her. Still, Teris tried her best to give Yami his space as he had with her when she had distanced herself.

She had gotten a letter from Nozel yesterday asking if she would return to the Silver Eagles base with him after the War Merits Conferment Ceremony, which was today. That letter sat on her dresser as she got dressed.

“You can’t seriously be thinking of going.” Venice said sitting on the bed.

“I can and I am.” Teris told hopping as her foot caught as she stuffed it into a pants leg.

“Why?”

“Because of reasons I can’t say.”

“Official reasons though. Right? Not private.”

Teris stopped. She looked up at her friend bent over. With a disgusted breath she shoved her leg in and pulled up her pants. “What private reason would there be?”

“I don’t know.” Venice shrugged unable to look at her.

“Yes. Venice. I’m going for non personal reasons that I can’t say because of orders from Sir Jorah, himself.” “So this has to do with--”

“Official, ordered reasons we can’t talk or infer about? Yes.”

“Then won’t you two get in trouble for meeting and doing just that?” Venice asked.

“Only if we’re caught or someone mentions what we’re up to.”

“You know I won’t say anything.”

“I know you won’t,” Teris said.

“So take me.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

Teris pulled her blouse over her shoulder and buttoned it over her tank top. “Because I don’t want to chance you getting in trouble if we get caught.”

“I don’t care about getting in trouble,” Venice said. “I want to help.”

“I know you don’t care. But I do.” Teris kissed the top of her friends head. “You’re precious to me.”

“But Nozel isn’t? You couldn’t care less what kind of trouble he gets in if caught?” Venice challenged conflicted on the answer she wanted.

“Nozel knows the risks and refused to be dissuaded when I tired. Besides,” Teris went on before Vince could speak up, “he’s the heir to the second family of the Clover Kingdom the damage done to him will be far less then what could and likely would happen to you.”

Venice could argue there. Royals and nobles were always skirting the consequences for their actions.

“Come on, Venice. Aren’t you the one always telling me that I’m spun too tight and need to get out and do something daring?” Teris smiled wickedly. “What could be more daring then going against the Wizard Kings orders?”

“Don’t.” Venice said shaking her head. “Don’t smile like that. Your evil grins mean far more scarier things then mine.”

“Says you.” Teris said raising her brows as she stuff a foot into a boot. “I could’ve almost died numerous times when I saw that same smile on your face the night of the Star Awards when it was just Yami, Jon, you, and I.” She stopped, remembering that night. Looking out the window she sighed. “Who would’ve imagined this is where we would be now.”

“Seven months is a long time,” Venice said hoping things between them would be patched up well before then next Star Awards. “But, Yami will get over whatever’s bugging him. Things will go back to normal. It has to. I put too much effort into seeing you two together.”

“It’s probably for the best if he doesn’t.” Teris said thinking of the distraction she had let him become and the mess she had been willing to pull in him to just because she had been stupid and weak enough to fall in love. “Who am I kidding? It is for the best.”

Venice’s forced smile fell at Teris words. “Don’t say that.”

Teris shook her mind clear and stuffed her other foot into a boot.

“Do you really think going with Nozel to his squads base after your and Yami’s promotion will help?” Venice asked.

“I hope so,” Teris said. “Why else would he have asked me there?”

I had meant help the situation between you and Yami, Venice thought, and could think of several other reasons Nozel Silva would want you over.

25.2

Julius couldn’t be more proud of his sister and protege as he watched them enter the room with Jax. He had always known Teris would make a fine Magic Knight but to have risen so much when faced with the indolence of the Black Bulls was an achievement. Then again she had Yami to work with. While Yami’s hopes for his career weren’t as high as Teris’ or his own he knew Yami wanted to be a squad Captain. He had told Julius as much once, saying that the position was sort of a sweet spot with only two people over you telling you what to do and a team full of lackeys to do it for you. Julius wondered if Yami had undergone any changes of heart in how he would one day treat his squad after having been Jax’s lackey for over a year.

“Come to see your student and sister get promoted to Intermediate Magic Knights?” Jax asked coming up to Julius.

“I have a few of my own team getting promoted today as well.” Julius smiled.

“Of course you have people getting promoted.” Jax sighed. Looking over his friends shoulder he watched as Yami step away from Teris, leaving her alone. He shook his head wondering what had happened with them. To Julius he said. “Has there been a Merits Conferment since you were named Captain that you haven’t had someone get promoted at.”

“Once.” Julius said thinking. “No. Twice.”

“Quit boasting. It was rhetorical. Before Julius had a chance to respond Jax questioned, unable to help himself. “Do you know what’s going on between those two?”

Julius raised a brow. “Another rhetorical question.”

“No.”

Julius turned. When it came to nonverbal, noncombatant cues Julius could truly be as clueless as his friends claimed; but, whether it was because he knew the two in question so well or that he didn’t find them standing together when he had expected them to be Julius knew right away who Jax was referring to.

“No.” Julius shook his head turning back to the Black Bulls Captain. “What’s going on?”

“That’s what I’d like to know and was hoping you’d tell me. It happened while they were both away. I think. So, given that you were stuck in that house with no one to speak to other then your family and the Silva’s I figured you spent a lot of quality time with your sister and might know something. Should have figured you’d be as clueless as always.”

“Hey! I see things.” Julius challenged. “More over, I have feelings.”

“I’m sorry. Did I hurt them?” Jax said with sarcastic compunction. “Cause at the moment I don’t care. I want my two best members back.”

“Are they failing to preform their duties?” Julius questioned his stern disapproval clear in his voice.

“No. Though there hasn’t been a mission to send them on to make certain.”

“If they give you any trouble in that regard, tell me. I’ll speak to them.”

“If they give me any trouble in that regard I’ll kill them as is my right as their, Captain.”

“I don’t think killing your squad members is ever a right to you as their Captain.” Julius countered.

“I know my rights.” Jax said with jesting harshness.

“Do you though. Do you really?”

“Shut up.”

“Seriously.” Julius glanced back at Yami and Teris in turn. “I haven’t the slightest. But if it doesn’t get better can you let me know.”

“Is this brotherly concern I see?”

Julius smiled uncomfortably. “Something like that I suppose.”

25.2.2

“You and your foreigner have an argument on the way here?” Fuegoleon asked from behind.

“Not now, Fuego.” Teris said pulling her gaze away from Yami and turning around to face him.

“I never got a response.” Nozel who had made his way to Teris with Fuegoleon commented. “Meaning you are free to come back with me. Yes?”

“Back with you where?” Fuegoleon asked protectively. While he had been pleasantly surprised at the new found peace between his two friends that he had witnessed during the ball at Nova House, Teris was still family, distant as it may be, and was like a sister to him.

“Not now, Fuego.” Teris said again.

The Vermilion's eyes stilted. “You’re not attempting to throw Julius a surprise birthday party without me are you?”

“Why would we be planning a party for my brother?”

“His birthday's in three days,” Fuegoleon said.

When that’s all the reason he gave Teris’ brows rose, eyes widening, wondering if that was all.

“He is going to be thirty. Fuegoleon added impatiently.

“And?” Teris questioned.

“And you only turn thirty once.”

“You only turn any age once.” Nozel told.

“One would hope.” Teris added.

“Turning thirty is kind of a big deal.”

“How would you know?” Teris asked her cousin. “You’ve never turned thirty.”

“That what Mereoleona said.” Fuegoleon replied.

“How would she know?” Nozel asked. “She’s never turned thirty either.”

“Stop it.” Fuegoleon demanded. “Stop having fun at my expense.”

“But it’s so fun.” Teris teased sharing a smile with Nozel.

Fuegoleon glared at the two wondering if he really should have been happy that they finally on good friendly terms and working together.

Commander Greywright entered. The gathering fell silent and formed rank without needing to be ordered. Fuegoleon glanced one last time at Nozel and Teris and then Yami who fell in line beside her never once looking her way. Mereoleona clicked her teeth calling her brother to face forward and stand at attention. Fuegoleon doing so just as the Wizard King entered with his Advisor, Ellara Sand not far behind.

Standing before them on a slightly raised platform Sir Jorah took a moment to look at each of them. “It brings me great honor and pleasure to see so many gathered today to be recognized for their exceptional service as Magic Knights. The Clover Kingdom and its people are all the safer because of your bravery and tireless efforts.”

The Wizard King began by calling the top ranked squad forward. Julius standing by proudly as three members of his Azure Deer were praised and promoted. Next came the Silver Eagles.

Teris was caught off guard and struggled to pull back her mana from Yami’s as it reacted to his heightening and darkening when Nozel’s name was called. While the Silver Eagle was commended and promoted to Intermediate Magic Knight Fifth Class, Teris fought to reign in her mana as it strained to be free to feed on Yami’s.

The Golden Dawn had only one member present for promotion. A boy Teris had never met, but had heard plenty about. William Vangeance. Like Yami, Julius had taken William under his wing, providing instruction and encouragement.

Following the Jamie’s Golden Dawn was Breigha’s Blue Rose. Along with two other girls was Charlotte Roselei, a noble who had impressed everyone by using her thorn magic to single handedly save a village and it’s people from being washed away when a damn had been flooded over and broke. It was only her first year as a Magic Knight but people had already begun to whisper that she would one day be a Captain.

The Green Mantis and Yami’s friend Jack were called up next. Though Jack had joined the Magic Knights the same year Yami and she had he was still a rank below them. Still, First Class Junior Magic Knight was an accomplishment many Magic Knights didn’t achieve in their second year.

The Purple Orcas and Coral Peacocks were called up in turn till finally it was the Black Bulls turn. Jax stepped forward followed by his two squad members.

The Wizard King and Black Bulls Captain. sharing a long look before Sir Jorah turned to Teris and intoned. “You helped defend your squads base and comrades from intruders who attacked in the night. You fought and put down more then two dozen men, without the benefit of your grimoire. Your previous missions have all be a success and without undo cost of life or harm to the citizenry. You have faced trials and difficulties that no other second year Magic Knight has faced and done so in such a manner that has impressed even me. You have been given orders that you have no doubt found trying but have proved your loyalty to the Magic Knights and myself in obeying without question.”

Teris thought the last bit was a bit much. She had certainly questioned. Never to the Wizard King himself but he had undoubtedly heard about her questioning his orders, if not from Jax, Bronn, or Julius, then from Greywright. She had no doubt the Magic Knights Commander would’ve mentioned her challenge and complaints to Sir Jorah. As the Wizard King went on a part of her felt bad for going against her leader by searching for answers. But wasn’t that what her Captain. had encouraged her to do the night the base was attacked? They said the Wizard King knew things he couldn’t possibly know. Teris wondered if he knew she was going with Nozel to the Silver Eagles base to see what he found.

“--Third Class.”

Teris blinked. “Wait. What?” She stared at the Wizard King unable to believe her ears.

“It would behoove you to pay attention.” Jorah said warily. Releasing the medal he had pinned to her cape he graciously repeated. “I hereby promote you to Intermediate Magic Knight Third Class.”

Teris saluted not comprehending how she could go from First Class Junior Magic Knight to Intermediate Third Class. “Thank you, sir.”

“Yami Sukehiro.” Sir Jorah called forth.

25.2.3

After the award ceremony everyone made their way to one of the many grand rooms at Magic Knights Headquarters which had been set up with refreshments and tall tables without chairs. The aim was to encourage the Captains and the newly promoted Magic Knights to mingle and better get to know each other by not giving the option to sit.

Yami may have entered with Teris but as soon as he caught sight of Jack he left her alone without so much as a glance.

“Third Class Intermediate Magic Knight.” Fuegoleon complained walking over to her. “However did you and Yami accomplish that?”

“I don’t know.” Teris said watching Yami hoping that he would take one look her way. It didn’t have to be a long one or silently express anything. She would be happy with just one little glance.

“What do you mean you don’t know? You earned it. Didn’t you.”

Teris turned to her cousin. “Are you suggesting we somehow didn’t?”

Fuegoleon held up his hands shrinking slightly under her sharp gaze. “That’s not even close to what I meant.”

“Give Leon a break.” Nozel said joining them. “He’s simply as shocked as you looked up there.”

“Exactly.” Fuegoleon said wondering when Nozel had come to be the one speaking on his behalf instead of the other way around.

“I honestly don’t know,” Teris said. “Yami was on mission when the attack happened. I know those missions were successful but other then that I don’t know what happened out there.”

“What? Yami didn’t boast every detail of his triumphs when you returned from your visit home.” Fuegoleon jeered crossing his arms.

Nozel watched his friend wishing he’d quit mentioning the foreigner. Something had obviously happened to make him ignore and avoid Teris. As much as he wanted to know why he wanted it to continue more so and did want to make Teris overly distressed to the point where she acted and possibly fixed whatever the problem was.

“Can we talk about something else?”

“Good idea.” Nozel agreed giving Fuegoleon a pointed looked.

“What happened between you and the meathead?” Mereoleona asked thumping Teris heartily on the shoulder. “I was going to come over and congratulate the two of you, seeing how you’ve been all but inseparable but find that that’s apparently no longer true. Now I’m going to have to go over to congratulate him once I’m done with you. Why the inconvenience?”

“Don’t know.” Teris shrugged.

“Don’t get smart with me girl. You may have passed fifth and fourth rank without so much as a look but I out rank you and will continue to do so for years to come.”

“I’m not being smart.” Teris said struggling to control herself. “I truly don’t know.”

“Well then, we’ll just have to find out.”

“Leona. Don’t.”

The Crimson Lions Captain patted Teris’ head her focus already on her prey. “Congratulations on the promotion. Leon. You need to try harder.”

Teris watched her walk away with a feeling of hope and dread.

Fuegoleon glared at his cousin. “See what you’ve done.”

“Leona’s right.” Nozel told. “You should try harder.”

“I didn’t hear the Wizard King announce you Third Ranked Intermediate Magic Knight.” Fuegoleon retorted.

“Which means I out rank the both of you. So shut up,” Teris said.

Nozel glared at Fuegoleon who glared at Teris. Teris watched Mereoleona stopped beside Yami and Jack. Jack quickly leaving the two alone. Teris growled wishing she could read lips.

“Are we going out after to celebrate?” Fuegoleon asked trying to pulled Teris’ attention away from Yami and his sister.

“Teris?” Nozel pressed. Wishing she’d turn away and forget about the foreigner.

“Like what?” Teris asked distantly.

“I don’t know.” Fuegoleon said looking to Nozel for suggestions. “A late lunch, maybe.”

Irritated, Teris snapped. “There’s food her—where is she taking him?”

“Taking who?” Fuegoleon asked glancing over at his sister as she escorted Yami from the room.

“Oh, please don’t kill him. Please don’t make it worse.” Teris muttered.

“So if not lunch. Then what?” Fuegoleon went on singling trying to keep his two friends attention as Teris watched Yami and Nozel watched Teris. “Drinks? Dessert?”

Nozel expelled a sigh glaring over at the Vermillion wishing he stop. The attempts at gaining Teris’ attention obviously weren’t working. Teris was focused on Yami and nothing else. There could be an attack on the capital iitself and she probably wouldn’t have noticed.

As Nozel turned to step away Teris asked. “You’re not leaving are you?”

Nozel looked back. “Of course not. You are coming. Aren’t you?”

“That’s the plan.” She said never taking her eyes off the door Mereoleona and Yami exited.

“Tell me when you’re ready to leave if I haven’t come for you before then.” Nozel told her unable to stand by and watch her fret over Yami.

Fuegoleon looked from the two wondering once again what they were up to.

25.2.4

“Unable to stand by and suffer being ignored while your Intended has eyes only for some foreign boy?” Danior asked as Nozel joined his comrades.

“Without your or Fuegoleon’s unappreciated loyalty Teris wouldn’t have a soul to talk to.” Neyres commented eyeing him.

“Teris doesn’t require someone to converse with.” Nozel said without looking at either of them.

“Why?” Danior questioned. “Cause she’s a royal?”

“No. Because unlike the two of you, Teris doesn’t care what others think. She is comfortable with and confident in herself.

25.2.5

“You should be proud of your two squad members.” Commander Greywright said joining Jax at a table. Putting his drink down he complained. “I hate that they never bring in chairs for these things. Just because one can’t sit isn’t going to force folks to move around.”

“You moved over here.” Jax told.

“Yeah and my feet hurt. I’ve been standing all day. I can walk for days on end but make me stand and I’m looking for a place to sit.”

“The level of their promotion came as a bit of a shock.” Jax said returning the subject to Yami and Teris.

“You’re welcome.”

“You’re taking the credit for their deeds. That’s rich, even coming from you.”

“I’ve never nor will ever do such a thing.” Greywright informed eyes slitting.

“Remind me not to joke with you when your feet are achy.

“I spoke on Yami’s behalf to the Wizard King.” Greywright admitted.

“Why?” Jax asked. So far as any of the others knew, Yami was the one who preformed the greater service to the kingdom. With the way the story went, all Teris did was defend her base and comrades from a gang hoping to instigate a war between the Clover and Spade kingdoms. As far as Sir Jorah, Greywright, and Ellara knew, Teris wasn’t even aware she had faced the Spatial Mage who had previously attacked Yami and her or thwarted an attempt to abduct her. While defending ones self and others without the use of her grimoire was a significant feat, when compared to the information allowed known it was Yami who had preformed the greater deed and service.

“Sir Jorah may have opened the Magic Knights to peasants and the like but he is still very much for the hierarchy.” Greywright admitted.

Jax looked at the Knights Commander sideways. This wasn’t new information to the Black Bulls Captain. In fact he had come face to face with it while fighting his way to the top of the Bulls. As the great-grandson of a disgraced nobleman, Jax may as well have been a peasant if not, in some cases, worse. Once he reached a certain point he had had to work doubly hard to earn the promotions those of rank seemed to receive with notably more easy. He didn’t know what he had expected but if Sir Jorah hadn’t changed, then Jax had to do his best to act and speak on Yami’s behalf.

“Let us hope Julius will continue in the direction Sir Jorah began and move us further from hierarchy and closer to merit when he is Wizard King,” Jax said.

“If he manages to become the next Wizard King.” Greywright said hoping the same.

“In any case. Thank you for whatever role you played in seeing Yami get the promotion he deserved.”

“Never tell either one of them I said this but even without combining their light and dark magic both of them have proven powerful enough at this point to be at least First Class Intermediate Magic Knights. It is only that their experience has catch up.”

25.2.6

Teris had watched Mereoleona return and make her way to Breigha, Captain of the Blue Rose. Her patience crumbled as soon as Yami returned not long after. She spun around to Fuegoleon and demanded. “What’s your sister doing? I thought she was going to try and find out what was up with Yami.”

Fuegoleon crossed his arms. “I’m not one of your lackeys, that you can speak to me in such a manner.”

“I don’t have any lackeys. And you’ll deal with whatever manner I choose to speak to you in and be grateful.”

The two glared at one another before Fuegoleon turned away deciding that Teris was too emotional at the moment to think clearly. “She probably didn’t think you’d like what he had to say.” He supplied. “What does it matter what some foreign—Teris! Wait.”

Teris marched across the room headed directly for Yami. Yami, who had been watching her the whole time peripherally, tensed. He didn’t think he was ready to be confronted by her, not if he hoped to make it out still standing firm on his decision to leave her be. He didn’t think he was capable of keeping his own temper from letting loose on her for not telling him that she had an Intended, for leading him on and giving him hope, for being a royal and not some regular girl that could choose her own path.

Teris was halted and spun around, her arm captured in someones too firm grip. She had an instant flash of anger that someone had dared to touch her, had stopped her from seizing her one moment of courage to confront Yami. Then she saw who it was who held her and froze.

“You’re not thinking of making a scene. Are you girl?” Bronn rasped.

“I wasn’t planning on it.” She said trying to pull her arm free.

Bronn held tighter till she stopped her struggle, then released her. “Leave that boy alone will ya. He’s been through enough. Wouldn’t you say.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Teris said. “He refuses to be in the same room with me let alone speak to me.”

Bronn looked over at Yami and then back at her. “Seems to be in the same room as you now.”

“I know you don’t like any of us but I would’ve figured you’d want us getting along and on speaking terms given as we’re all on the same squad.”

Bronn rubbed the palm of his hand with a thumb. “Getting along. Maybe. Speaking. Not really required. In fact there’s been multiple occasions when I’ve wished you lot would quit speaking entirely.”

Teris smiled with forced politeness. “Good talk. Let’s not do it again sometime soon.” She turned and continued on her way.

“Let that boy alone.” Bronn barked at her back. “That’s an order.”

Teris flinched. She took a couple more steps in Yami’s direction and then made a sharp ninety degree turn towards the refreshment table grumbling curses at her Vice Captain under her breath.

25.2.7

Mereoleona hadn’t missed the altercation between Bronn and Teris and she didn’t bother trying to hide her confronting the Black Bulls Vice Captain about it either.

“Picking on young girls? And here I thought there were somethings even too low for you, Bronn.” The Crimson Lions Captain said from behind him as she crossed her arms.

Bronn smiled and turned. “I guess you didn’t know me as well as you thought, Lioness.”

“I should’ve figured as much when you started dating that Nurse Maid.” Mereoleona muttered her jealousy making her speak before she thought.

Heckles raising Bronn pointed at the Captain. “Her name’s Gilly and she’s a Grand Healing Mage.” Wrinkling his brow he wondered. “What’s she got to do with this anyway?”

“Nothing.” Mereoleona said quickly.

“Then why--”

“Why harass Teris?” Mereoleona questioned over him. “Why not leave the girl alone?”

“You took the boy out. Heard what he had to say. Why do you think?”

Mereoleona watched him. She had taken Yami outside and demanded answers for her cousin and her own curiosity. She had even gone so far as to threaten and coherence him with her rank as Captain. Still the foreign boy said nothing. After a long stare down Mereoleona had finally given up and came back inside. But, she wasn’t about to let Bronn know she had failed. “I don’t see the big deal,” she said.

Bronn laughed humorlessly. “Of course you don’t. You royals and nobility are all a like. Sure, you may think you’re different. You may even make us believe that you’re different. But you’re not. You have no thought or care for those hurt by your actions. No matter what you promise or claim to want. You’ll always do what you’re told. At least the cruel and arrogant among you are honest when they look down and spit on us. Just cause you claim otherwise and don’t treat us poorly doesn’t make you any better. It just makes you better at hiding the truth. That when it comes right down to it, you’re all the same.”

Mereoleona pulled her head back. “What are you talking about? What does being royal or doing what you’re told have to do with any of this?”

Bronn looked over his shoulder at Yami and then back to her. “He didn’t tell you. Did he?”

Mereoleona shook her head. She hadn’t wanted to admit as much to him but, now that it made him look like the fool, she was all too happy to. “Didn’t say a single word. The little bastard.”

Bronn glared at her. Both for tricking him and using the word he despised. Sure he had used the term himself, even use it toward himself. But after such a declaration against the ruling class, never mind its personal meaning to him, the word was like a Saber Cats howl. Aggravating and painful.

“So what’s going on with the Lord of Destruction?” Mereoleona asked. “Why the sudden change? What did you do?”

“Who said I did anything?” Bronn demanded guiltily.

“So you did do something. You don’t just pick on young girls, you turn and twist things to break their hearts.”

Bronn bristled. “I didn’t turn or twist nothing. I told the boy the truth and he came to his own decision. The fact that I think it was the right one doesn’t mean I pressured him into believing anything.”

“What truth did you tell him? Your truth?”

“There’s only one truth.” Bronn shot back.

“And what is that?” Mereoleona questioned.

“I already told you what it was.”

“Remind me.”

“That all you royals are the same and no matter what you may want will always do what you’re told.”

“You told him about Teris being Nozel’s Intended.” Mereoleona surmised.

“I didn’t have to. Nozel told him as much before he left for our last big mission. Your girl Teris didn’t so much as balk at or scold her future husband for declaring her his; let alone bother with giving Yami any false assurances to her wish not to do as her family demands.” He shook his head and huffed. “Got to at least hand it to the girl for not making any promises she’d never keep.”

Mereoleona stared at him a moment before wondering aloud. “What made you so bitter?”

“Life.” Bronn told. “Real life. Not some pampered, protected existence you lot have.”

“We suffer hardships of our own.” Mereoleona told. “I won’t claim they are the same but they can be just as painful if not more so.”

Bronn rolled his eyes. “Sure.”

“You think it’s easy to be told who to marry without so much as being asked how you feel about the person? Having to wed even if the person is just the worst. Having to wed even if you’re in love with another.”

“And when you are?” Bronn wondered searching her eyes. “In love with another.”

Mereoleona swallowed, her mouth suddenly feeling dry. “It’s an impossible situation.” She finally told.

“One that always ends the same way. Doing what your family commands.”

“How would you like it if your family told you, marry who we say or you will be cast out. Title. Name. Connection. All lost.. Your mother. Father. Brothers--” She thought of Fuegoleon and Leopold her voice catching. “Your family, direct and indirect, forbidden from speaking to you, from even ever acknowledging your existence. This is more then money and rank, Bronn. This is ones whole life. Gone. Forever. Add to that banishment if you’re a royal. Cause going against the order of a royal patriarch can, and in this case will, be considered treason. I suppose one could be grateful the punishment isn’t death. But if your lover decides to try to free you from your family, which will only save you from banishment not from being cast out, you may very well wish the punishment was death if your love looses the duel to the death. Tell me, Bronn. What from that sound like a walk in a garden?”

“I never said it was an easy choice.” He rumbled. “I only said, when compared to normal folk, your royal life was easy.”

“I can’t walk in your shoes.” She looked down at his dirty, scuffed up boots and added. “Nor would I want to. So other then knowing without a doubt that it was difficult, I can’t compare it to the difficulties I faced. But I can assure you, you have know idea what I’ve been through; nor would you believe me if I told you.”

“Tell me this.” He said his eyes slowly locking on hers. “Would you ever promise someone you loved that you’d go against your family for them even when you knew, in the end, you wouldn’t?”

Mereoleona stared back her eyes searching his. “I’d have to love someone first, and know they loved me in return. Or why bother making such a promise, whether I intended to keep it or not.”

25.2.8

The gathering was nearing it’s end. Most of the Magic Knights had already left. Yami, who had been waiting for Jax to be ready to leave so Bronn could use his spatial magic to take them back to base, gave silent thanks when the Black Bulls Captain made his way to him.

“We’re leaving. Fetch Teris.” Jax ordered Yami.

Yami’s head snapped to his Captain. “What? Why?”

“Because I told you to.” Jax said showing no room for argument.

Yami stomped off. This was it, he told himself, his first words to her. The first time he would directly face Teris since learning what Nozel truly was to her and deciding to give up. He wasn’t a coward but a part of him wanted to walk out the doors and make his own way back to base. You have to do it sometime, he told himself. It’s like you told Teris when you encouraged her to speak with Nozel. His thoughts gloomed at the memory. If only you had known then. Maybe you could have encouraged her to let you have your revenge instead. Then Nozel would be dead and Teris would be free to marry whomever she wished.

He shook his head catching sight of her. Just get it over with, he told himself. The longer you wait the more difficult it’s going to be. Just relay the message and get back to Jax. You don’t even have to look her in the eye.

Teris’ breath caught as Yami stopped in front of her. She felt stupid. After a eight days of endless questions roaming through her head. Countless scenario's playing in her mind. The moment of him standing before her and not turning away was finally here and she couldn’t think of a thing to say. Maybe it’s for the best, she thought, it was him, after all, that had the problem. She should allow him to explain himself before she said anything.

“Captain’s ready to leave.” Yami said without so much as looking at her.

Teris watched Yami turn to go unable to believe that was all he had come to say. Finding her voice she called after him. “I’m not returning to base just yet.”

Yami stopped mid-step, shoulders tensing. He had seen Nozel and Fuegoleon standing on either side of her as if both claiming and protecting her from others and wondered if she and her Intended and Crimson Lion friend had plans.

Forcing his hands not to fist he tried for nonchalant but it sounded more angry, even to his ears. “Suit yourself.”

Teris reached out, taking a step toward him. “Yami! Wait.”

Fuegoleon took her other arm and held her in place, Nozel watching him do so grateful.

Yami continued slowly back to where Jax now waited with Bronn. A part of him wished that she would chase after him and demand he forgive her. Another part of him hoped she wouldn’t because he knew he would forgive her and he would still be faced with loosing her to Nozel and her family's wishes.

25.3

Nozel tolerated Fuegoleon’s insistence that the three of them go for tea before he and Teris headed to the Silver Eagles base. It gave him a chance to get his own emotions under control over Teris’ outburst in trying to chase after Yami. The only thing worse was her underlying confusion, pain, and anger which was almost palatable as they had walked to a tea shop in Castle City.

After drinks Fuegoleon had tried to invite himself back with them. Nozel’s temper pricking. This was his moment to be alone with Teris and possibly, if he was lucky, receive her thanks and show of gratitude. He didn’t appreciate his friendly rivals attempts at joining in and ruining anything before it ever had a chance to happen. Lucky for him, Teris had been firm, if not rude, in her denial. Something that, even if it was for Fuegoleon’s own benefit, made Nozel feel special and as if she too wanted some time alone with him.

At the Silver Eagles base Nozel led Teris in and through the halls up half a floor to the library. It wasn’t that he didn’t want anyone to see he had brought her back out of fear. Guests were welcomed, as long as they didn’t enter the upper levels, where the sleeping chambers were, and it wasn’t passed midnight. Still, Nozel didn’t want to be stopped and asked why she was there, nor did he want any of his comrades following and edging in on his time with her. It never occurred to him that he wouldn’t be able to tell Teris what he found with others present which would mean she might have to comeback at a later date to try again.

No longer feeling her beside him, Nozel stopped and turned. Seeing her a ways behind he made his way back to her and encouraged, “The library’s this way.”

“Your base is so--”

“I know.” Nozel interrupted giving a sniff of distaste. “I plan on making several changes once I’m Captain. Still, it’s suitable for now.”

“I was going to say nice,” Teris said.

Nozel turned to her wondering if she was joking. Then he remembered what the Black Bulls base looked like. Dark, dirty, and about to fall over at one stiff breeze. “I still don’t know why you chose to join that ragtag bunch.” He said giving a slight shake of his head.

Teris ignored the slight to her friends and told. “So Fyntch couldn’t spy on or control me.”

Nozel paused, looking at her sideways. He had had many theories but that had never been on of them. “Truly?”

“Yes.” Teris said almost laughing. “There’s another reason but yes. Why? What did you think?”

“I hadn’t given it much thought.” He lied turning the corner.

“But you just--”

“In here.” Nozel said opening the library's doors and ushering her in.

When Nozel closed the door behind them Teris commented. “A bit dark.”

“You can fix that, Third Class Intermediate Magic Knight.” He teased.

Teris’ hand glowed. Nozel stepped back recalling the last time he had seen it do so. His chest tightened. His imagination making his nose think it smelt burnt clothing fibers. How he had walked away without burnt hair and skin he didn’t know. Maybe Teris could control what she burned?

“Care to get the drapes?” She asked.

As Nozel flung open the curtains Teris allowed the mana she had channeled to dissipate.

“Believe me,” Teris said. “I was as shocked as anyone at my new rank.”

“So you said and I already said I noticed.” Nozel remarked pulling out three books from various shelves. “You don’t have to sound so apologetic. You should be proud.”

“I am. Proud that is. Just really surprised as well.”

“Come here.” Nozel beckoned opening one of the books and flipping to a page. “I didn’t want to leave the books out or leave anything to mark the pages in case someone else pulled them.”

Teris came beside him, shoulders touching as she looked at the opened book in front of him. Nozel took a deep breath delighting in her scent. Unlike other well bred ladies Teris didn’t smell of some sweet fruit, roses or any other flower. Teris smelt of fresh crushed rosemary needles and mint. It was a light scent that made you feel relaxed and awake at the same time. His eyes watched her as she bent forward to better read the pages.

“It talks about Yurist’s son.” Teris said straightening and looking at him.

Nozel quickly pulled his gaze away only to return it to her and nod.

“I didn’t even know Yurist had a son.” She said leaning against the back of the chair in front of her.

“There’s more.” Nozel said pushing the book over before her. “That goes on for five and a half pages. Go ahead and read them while I find the pages in the other two books.”

Teris stepped back and paused when her hand landed on top of Nozel’s as they both moved to pull out her chair.

“I am capable of pulling out my own chair you know.” Teris told him. “I’m not helpless.”

“And I’m not some crude man who doesn’t even stand when a lady rises from her seat.” Nozel said unable to stop the dig at Yami.

Teris grasped his hand and pulled it off the back of the chair. Nozel watched her pull the chair out and sit scolding himself for bringing the foreigner into their time together.

When Nozel didn’t moved Teris looked up at him and asked. “Are you going to find those other pages?”

Wordlessly, Nozel picked up one of the other books and flipped through the pages.

“It says here that Yurist’s wife died while giving birth to their only child. A son named Erin.” She stopped reading and looked up at Nozel again, thinking of his own mother doing the same nearly four years ago.

Nozel eyes slid over to her. They stayed staring at one another a while before he urged. “Continue.”

Teris turned back and did as he told reading that Erin was sent to his mothers sister shortly after his birth and raised by her. It spoke more about Yurist and how he threw himself into his work even more after the death of his wife; her having been the only reason he had put down his quill and left his prophetic mind to join the living. The author believed that it was his wife's death that had lit the spark that began Yurist’s decent into madness. Teris paused and thought. It made sense. Yurist never gave himself and his child a chance to form any bonds so with his wife gone he likely saw no reason to leave his office or his mind. If anything he likely forced himself to stay there knowing there was no one outside of his study to greet him. It was all so sad.

She turned the page. There was only a short paragraph before the next subjects heading but as she read she found it was an Important few sentences. Her mouth went dry. She looked back up at Nozel pushing her chair back. “Did you read this?”

“Of course I did.” Nozel said putting the last book down, having found the page he wanted.

“It says that Yurist’s son left the Clover Kingdom for the Spade Kingdom and soon after married someone named Mira. And--” she swallowed, “he took his wife's family name wanting to be rid of his last remaining tie to his father and as a show of fealty to his father-in-law and his nation.”

“Why do you think I invited you over.” Nozel said looking at her. He set down the book he was holding and pushed it in front of her. Leaning forward against the back of her chair he pointed. “Look here. It’s the same lineage tree you found at your house but knowing the name Mira is significant...”

Teris looked where Nozel pointed and blanched. “Mira Spade.” She sat forward and leaned closer to the book. “She was the granddaughter to Lenier Spade king of the Spade Kingdom. Her father was King Lenier’s sixth son. It says she married and had two children but doesn’t give either of their names of the name of her husband, just this asterisk.”

Nozel trailed his finger down and over to the bottom corner of the previous page having to bend even lower over Teris, else his arm would have been in her face.

Teris leaned over the asterisk in the key and read the words beside it: ‘Immigrant from Clover Kingdom.’

She looked at Nozel who’s face was a hands length away from hers. “Between this and the time frame, it has to be Yurist’s son. This means—he might be related, however distantly, to Yurist through his son, Erin.” Teris said thinking of Alowishus Spade. It would certainly explain how and why Alowishus learned of Yurist’s works enough to become a Zealot; if his ancestor was indeed Erin the man might feel some sort of kinship to Yurist.

“Who might be related to Yurist?” Nozel asked eyes searching hers. From this close he could see all the various shades of deep brown that were in her eyes. Some almost black, others closer to bronze.

Teris sat back and turned away. She hadn’t realized how close Nozel had gotten as he had pointed things out to her. No doubt he hadn’t intended to but his nearness still made her uncomfortable. “Nozel, I’m sorry. That I can’t say. Only one person knows I know that bit of information and instructed me not to make it known I knew of it.”

“This is ridiculous.” Nozel erupted striking the back of the chair beside her.

Teris blinked in shocked disbelief. “Nozel. Control yourself. There’s no need to loose your temper and act so violently.”

Her words brought him under control as quickly as if his father or Captain Pyter had said them. Ashamed, he lowered his head slightly and apologized. “Sorry. That was uncalled for.”

Teris suddenly realized just how drastically different Nozel, and even Fuegoleon, were from the men of the Black Bulls. More then that, how her expectations and what she found acceptable behavior of the men varied so greatly. She had scolded Nozel in all seriousness but if it had been Yami, Bronn, Tobin, or even Olsen she wouldn’t have said a thing. She likely would have been surprised if there hadn’t been an outburst from them.

Feeling something of a hypocrite because of her differing standards for the men, Teris waved him off. “It’s alright. I’ve seen worse.” She turned back to the family tree. “But this, this is amazing. Much more then I could’ve hoped for.”

Nozel looked about the library. “I haven’t finished looking through everything, so there may still be more. But, when I found that I had to show you. Then,” he pulled the book beneath it out and put in on top, “I found this, this morning.”

She turned to him. “You came in here to search this morning? I thought you would have been preparing for the ceremony.”

Nozel’s scrutinized her, eyes narrowing slightly. “How long do you think it takes me to get ready?”

“I don’t know,” Teris shrugged thinking that the braid hanging down the center of his face couldn’t have been easy to accomplish. She stared, head tilting as she wondered if he did it himself or had a valet do it for him. Both images were uncomfortable and laughable.

A small smile worked it’s way onto Nozel’s face. Teris’ lips turning upward in return. For a moment they stared at each other without word or movement, Nozel wondering what she was thinking.

“In any case.” Nozel finally said returning both their attention to the book. “I found what I thought was simply a commentary of Yurist’s work on Chaos but quickly discovered it was a commentary on the rise of factions and zealots who based themselves on either stopping, slowing, beginning, or some how altering what Yurist saw and wrote in the Future of Chaos before he locked it away in some labyrinth.”

Wide eyed and breathless Teris turned to the book in question and opened it at random. She skimmed the page before flipping back to the beginning.

As she did so Nozel told. “The first two chapters deal solely with Yurist and the two works in question. Hence my original thinking.”

Teris felt a surge of triumph. This was way more then she could have hoped for. An entire book about the crazies that sprung up after learning of and possible reading Yurist’s writings on Chaos. Even though she knew the answer she asked. “I couldn’t take this and return it, could I?”

Nozel shook his head. “I’m sorry. We’re not even allowed to take books out of this room. Curtis did so once when he was studying up on the Heart Kingdom for a mission to escort some nobleman's daughter to her groom and Captain Pyter filled practically the whole first floor with his smoke magic, he was so angry. All of us Silver Eagles were yelled at and reminded of the rules as if it was us who had broken them.” He looked about the room sniffing. “Our base may be lacking in many ways but the Captain is proud of it and meticulous about its order.”

Teris smirked. She couldn’t tell where the Silver Eagles base was lacking in any way but allowed Nozel his belief without challenge. She looked back at the book her hand tracing over it almost reverently. It might take her a day to read it but if she hoped to fully gather everything written she’d have to go slower and reread, and of course make notes. It was a shame that the book had a spell watermarking every page that forbid magical duplication. That would have solved her problem of having it here and not being able to take it back home with her. Still, she couldn’t complain. Nozel had offered to help, kept his promise, and had found not just a tie to Yurist and the Spade Kingdom, but a possible tie to Yurist and Alowishus Spade and an entire book that could hold numerous other clues, answers, and information. Overcome Teris sprang up from her seat and hugged him.

“I can’t thank you enough, Nozel. You’re the best.”

Startled by her embrace, Nozel quickly recovered wrapping his own arms around her waist. “You’re quite welcome.” He replied content to stay that way forever.

Teris pulled back and shrugged lowering her arms from his neck. “As my friend I guess I should have expected such amazing results.” She smiled. “All my friends are awesome and never fail to get things done.”

“Then, as you say, you shouldn’t be surprised.” Nozel muttered leaning closer.

Teris’ eyes widened. Was he going to try and kiss her? That would ruin everything. She didn’t think she could return, let alone continue their friendship, if he made such an attempt. But why would he, she tried to reason. They were alone. It benefited nothing to act as dutiful Intended. You’re being silly and afraid for nothing another part of her thought. Nozel doesn’t truly care for you, not like that at least. Besides, how would he even go about kissing anyone with that braid in his face. Did he lift it out of the way? Tilt his head so much it simply fell out of the way? Her nose itched thinking about the mechanics of it.

Nozel noticed her widened eyes and slight wrinkling of her nose and quickly reached up a hand pretending to pluck something off her cheek. “Sorry. It was bugging me.” He said.

Teris lifted a hand and rubbed where he had touched wondering what had been there. She thought of the cinnamon sugared biscuit she had had during their tea with Fuegoleon somewhat horrified at the thought that it might have been some sugar, or worse a cookie crumb.

“Thanks.” She said turning back to the book shaking off her needless rush of fear of him making such an attempt.

Nozel moved to the shelf he had left his search off from slowly exhaling his relief at his quick thinking. Pulling books from the shelf, he kept his tone distracted as he told her. “You are free to stay and read as long as you wish. The house is closed to polite callers at midnight.”

“I don’t think I’ll be staying long enough to be kicked out this visit.” Teris told him.

He glanced at her nodding his approval as he carried the a small stack of to the table behind her. “Let me know if you need anything. Refreshment. Some air. More light.”

Teris lifted her hand and wiggled her fingers. “I got the light covered.” She turned back and smiled over at him. “But I'll be sure to let you know if there’s something you can assist me with.”

He gave her a nod. Opening a book Nozel began to scan the pages for the any of the keywords Teris was interested in.

“Nozel.”

Nozel looked at her.

“Thanks again for this. I don’t know where’d my search would be or what I’d have done next without your help.”

His heart swelled with pride; his tone on the other hand kept its natural timber as he said. “That’s what friends are for.”

25.4

By the time dinner at the Black Bulls base had rolled around Yami was well passed having a mere temper at Teris for not returning with them but going off with Nozel and Fuegoleon instead. Unable to even think of eating he had gone upstairs to the boys wing and planted himself in front of the window in Bran’s room. His own room faced the back of the house and he didn’t want to have to explain to Tobin why he was in his rooms when the giant ginger was already pestering him with unwanted questions. Yami supposed dinner downstairs was over cause Bran entered his room taking in a surprised breath at seeing Yami in there.

Keeping his eyes on the trail that led up to the house Yami asked. “What was for supper?”

“Beef stew.” Bran answered still standing in the doorway.

“Sometimes I think that's all Gendry makes cause Abril hates it.” Yami huffed resting his forearms on his knees.

Bran glanced back down the hallway and then looked back at Yami. Clearing his throat and gathering his nerve he asked. “Can I help you with something?”

“Nope.” Yami said. He sat up straighter catching a glimpse of something then relaxed when he saw it was only a fox. “Though it would go better for you if you didn’t mention to the others that I was ever here.”

“So you’re leaving.” Bran said hopefully.

“Go away.” Yami snapped. “You’re distracting me.”

“But—this is my room.” Bran whined balling his fists and stomping a foot. He had never had his own room. Growing up in a three room house which two of those rooms were kitchen and living, Bran had had to sleep in the loft with his five other brothers; because of this he was possessive about his space. He was just too afraid to order Yami out.

Yami turned slowing to look at the boy over his shoulder. “And do you want to die in your room?”

Bran shook his head.

“Then go away and close the door behind you. I want to be alone.”

Bran wasn’t even brave enough to glare at Yami as he obeyed. Instead he scowled at the floor thinking that he should go hang out in Yami’s bedroom till the brute left his. See how Yami liked finding someone in his personal space. But that’s all it would ever be, a passing sulking thought.

25.5

Teris stopped at the start of the trail that branched off to the Black Bulls base. “I’m sorry. I didn’t intend to stay so long.”

“You said that already.” Nozel told brushing off her apology.

“You didn’t have to escort me home,” she said.

“You said that too.”

“And I meant it,” Teris said. “I’m a Magic Knight. I can see myself back to my squads base.”

“And I’m a gentleman who refuses to let a lady journey unattended.” Nozel rebutted.

“I out rank you. Remember.”

Nozel bristled slightly at that. Not that he wasn’t proud of her. Turning up the pathway he said. “Let’s get you home.”

“I can walk the rest of the way.” Teris said passing him. “Get yourself home before it gets too dark.”

“I can fly by night just as well as I can fly by day,” Nozel said.

“And I’m sure the moonlight glinting off you eagle of mercury is lovely,” Teris remarked. “But--”

“I said I’d see you home.” Nozel cut in now wanting her to see just how right she was about the beauty of his magically created mercury eagle under the moonlight was.

“And you’ve seen me to the Bulls property line.”

“A property line isn’t home.” Nozel countered cursing her stubbornness.

“I can order you home.” Teris said half teasing

“And I can and will refuse. Teris, this is serious.”

“I was only joking.” She said forcing a chuckle. “I wouldn’t order you, or anyone, unless I absolutely had to.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Nozel said.

Seeing that he was truly serious Teris became concerned. “Nozel. What’s the matter?”

“Everything. Ever since the Magic Knights Entrance Exams you took when you teamed up with that foreigner.”

“Yami.” Teris corrected. “And what does Yami have to do with me walking home?”

Other then the fact that he’ll be there when you arrive, Nozel thought. That he’ll always be there cause the base was his home too. He looked away. “The combination of your magic with his.”

“Is under control.” Teris said stopping when he looked back at her wearing a distress expression. Her appeasing smile dropped as she waited for him to go on.

“I don’t know if you think me a fool or aren’t aware of all I’ve heard.” Nozel said slightly offended that the first possibility was true.

“I’ve thought you many things over the years, but a fool was never one of them,” Teris said. “What have you heard?”

“Enough. I suppose it’s the actions and expressions that I’ve seen more then what I’ve heard.”

“No one’s as studied in that emotionless, cool gaze as you are huh?”

He looked at her with the exact gaze she was referring to. “I don’t know what you mean but if you’re saying that there are some superiors that haven’t learned to control their expressions completely then I agree.”

“Nozel. I can’t tell you anymore then I have.”

“You haven’t told me anything. Just a handful of words and a name I already knew.”

“Well, I can’t tell you anymore then that. We’d both be in trouble.”

“You’re already in trouble.” Nozel said looking at her concern showing in his eyes. “I don’t know who tried to attacked you on the road from my house. Nor am I so sure that the attacks on the base were orchestrated by mere groups of bandits, no matter what Investigations claimed they found. Every outlaw I’ve come across wouldn’t have the courage, desire, or means to pull such a thing off. Never mind the numbers or brains. As for the claim that numerous gangs banded and worked together.” He huffed his disbelief.

Teris put a hand on his shoulder. “Stop. Nozel, please. Just. Stop.”

“But--”

“No.” She silenced. “Don’t think anymore on this. It doesn’t involve you.”

“If it involves you, it involves me. We’re--” he swallowed and forced himself to say the word he was beginning to hate, “friends.”

Teris lowered her head and closed her eyes. This was her fault. She had let him search with her knowing that if their superiors learned about it he would be in trouble. But she had needed help and didn’t see the harm in letting him look through some books for a few keywords. If discovered he might have gotten a stern talking to from his Captain and Commander Greywright, but given Nozel’s position in ranking society that was the worst she had seen happening to him. She had never stopped to consider that Nozel’s own curiosity would be peaked. That as a Magic Knight, a royal gentleman, and her friend he would want to know more so he could do more to help.

Teris’ hand trembled slightly as she struggled with her emotions her hand sliding slowly off his shoulder down to his chest. Angry and hating herself for bringing him into this she gripped the shirt beneath his Silver Eagles cloak lightly pushing against his chest. “I’m so sorry.”

Seeing her distress Nozel became truly worried about her. Grasping her elbows Nozel lowered his head slightly trying to caught her eye. “Teris.”

Her head and eyes raised to look at him, her expression pained. “I’m sorry, I never should have allowed you to do this search for me. I never should have allowed you to help me in the first place.”

“Don’t apologize for something you wouldn’t have been able to stop, even if you’d tried.” Nozel told.

25.6

As the sun began it’s final descent Yami’s anger had risen exponentially. He was standing, pounding the stone window sill with a fist as he continued he vigil for Teris to return. Then he caught sight of them between the trees on the main road. He watched as they made their way down the road to the path that led to the Black Bulls base wondering where Fuegoleon was. Had the Crimson Lion gone back home and let Nozel see Teris back or had he left them sometime earlier in the day; and if so, how much earlier. As soon as they reached the path Yami saw Teris stop and turn. That was it. Yami punched the wall and stormed out of the room and down the stairs three at a time. He knew what happened after a date when a girl stopped and turned to say good-bye and he’d be damned if he allowed Nozel the chance to kiss her. Outside he rushed down the trail to Pilfer’s cage and opened it.

Climbing on the Saber Wolf he urged Pilfer up the path. “We’re going for a ride. And, if we’re both lucky there’ll be a meal in it for you too.”

25.7

Nozel stood there holding Teris elbows watching her. He felt the need to protect her but knew she would never let him, even if Sir Jorah hadn’t issued orders silencing everyone. Teris was too proud. And as just her friend she didn’t believe he had any right. He could argue that as his Intended he had ever right but that would only make matters worse, and encourage her to put him off even further if not completely ruin things.

Without thinking he began to pull her to him. Her hand, still on his chest tensed. Catching himself, Nozel stopped. He wouldn’t attempt to kiss her. Not so soon after failing so miserably. At least he had managed to pretend he meant otherwise back in the library and she seemed to believe it.

Teris tilted her head, her hand dropping as she took a step back. “Do you hear that?”

Nozel lifted his head and listened. There was a rustling that got louder and then he heard the faint tread of something running. The sound quickly became thunderous. Nozel stood protectively in front of Teris only to have her step out from behind and move beside him.

She gave him a nod the both of them cloaking themselves in mana skin. As a Saber Wolf broke through the trees and shrubs Nozel readied a spear of mercury to take the beast down.

Teris stepped in front of him hand out to both man and beast. “Nozel! Pilfer. Stop.”

By the time Nozel realized the creature had obeyed Teris’ command he had already grabbed her by the arm to pull her back to safety.

Pilfer snarled, teeth showing, heckles raised.

Teris’ head turned slightly her eyes sliding back to Nozel. “He thinks you mean me harm. Let go.”

“Mean it harm!”

“Let. Go.” Teris clipped carefully.

Still unsure, Nozel slowly did as he was told. The Saber Wolf though still showing its teeth stopped snarling. Nozel watched as Teris told the beast to sit, unable to believe that it did so.

“Good boy.” Teris praised as made her way to the creature.

As Nozel reached out to stop her the Saber Wolf gave a low growl in response.

Teris looked back at him and explained. “He’s gotten rather protective since the attack on the base.”

Nozel watched Teris command the beast to lay down surprised when the creature obeyed. Trying to sound conversational, he commented. “I wasn’t aware the Black Bulls had a pet.”

“Pilfer’s not the Bulls.” Teris said petting the Saber Wolf. “He’s Yami’s.”

“Figures.” Nozel spat under his breath.

“What’s that?” Teris asked turning her head but not her eyes.

“Nothing.” Nozel said louder.

To Pilfer she asked. “What are you doing running loose? Yami wouldn’t be pleased. Neither would Gendry. Did Bran pay you a visit and forget to properly lock up your kennel?” Her eyes narrowed. “He didn’t possess you and take you out for a run did he?”

“Teris.”

“Hum?”

“You’re talking to an animal.”

Teris looked back at him smirking. “Isn’t that all we are when you get right down to it? Animals.”

Nozel tensed. He didn’t find the comparison amusing or accurate. “No.”

She opened her mouth and then shut it shaking her head. “I’m not gonna argue with you. Not when you need to get back home and I gotta figure out how this one got out.” She turned back to creature petting it.

“I told you. I’m escorting you hom--” His voice failed him as she climbed up onto the Saber Wolf and mounted it.

“I think I’ll be alright. Don’t you?” Teris grinned. When Nozel merely stood there in shocked silence she asked. “What? Your father has a pack of Saber Cats. I know you’ve ridden those multiple occasions on hunts. I’ve been there to see it and hunt with you.”

“Saber Cats. Not Saber Wolves,” Nozel said. “The two are very different creatures.”

“You don’t say?” Teris teased.

“Namely that Saber Cats can be tamed and trained and Saber Wolves cannot.”

“Tell that to Yami and Pilfer.”

“It’s probably some foreigner method.” Nozel muttered scowling.

“I heard that.” Teris said her voice becoming sharp. After a beat she told him. “Go home. I’ll see you again tomorrow, if I don’t have a mission.”

Defeated by Yami having tamed an untameable creature Nozel could do nothing but agree. “Tomorrow.” He nodded.

“Pilfer. Stand.” She tightened her knees and grip as the Saber Wolf rose. To Nozel she commanded. “Don’t go back in there without me. You need your rest and we don’t want your comrades asking questions.”

“I’ll take it under consideration.”

“Nozel. This is serious. No one can know. I’d rather they suspect I’m there for other reasons then the truth but I really don’t want that either so can you please do this for me. Please.”

Nozel looked up at her wondering what would be so bad if people suspected she was visiting him out of desire and not necessity. It wasn’t as if they weren’t allowed to court before they were officially betrothed. Of course, if she ever allowed him to kiss her he would keep that private. Not because that wasn’t allowed but because he respected her honor too much to do otherwise.

“Don’t make me order you.” She threatened teasingly when he didn’t say anything.

At Teris’ change of tone Pilfer released a short, low growl.

“Shh.” Teris hushed silencing the Wolf as she patted his flank reassuring him.

“I was going to relent but now--”

“I’m sorry.” Teris apologized quickly. “Please don’t punish me for my temper. You know how bad and out of control it can be.”

Nozel smirked. He found he liked her playfully begging him. “Very well.” He gave in. “But you own me.”

“Again! I already owe you for staying up two nights in a row to help me back at Nova House. Then there’s the search you made. What you found. Letting me monopolize your time this afternoon and evening. And letting me return tomorrow to do it all over again.”

“Don’t forget the dancing.” Nozel added remembering it fondly.

“In any case. I owe you way more then I’d like.”

“And how much would you like to owe me?” He questioned devilishly.

“Absolutely nothing,” she said.

Nozel grinned up at her. “I thought as much.”

“Just—do me a favor and call all this in soon. Alright. I hate owing anyone.”

But I’m not just anyone, Nozel thought. He watched her urge the beast to turn towards the path that would take her home and sighed as if agreeing to do her a huge favor. “Fine. I’ll call these favors in soon. But you’ll owe me for doing so.”

25.8

Yami had leapt from Pilfer’s back six meters from the tree line and made his way closer to watch. Regrettably Teris hadn’t let the Saber Wolf tear into Nozel. Yami once again cursed his having thought Teris how to shield her Ki. Unable to sense her Ki he was left relying on what he felt from Nozel’s and saw and heard.

Though their time together didn’t seem to be romantic in nature, Yami had to wonder what Teris had meant when she said she’d rather people suspect her presence for other reason then the truth. The other reasons were distastefully obvious but what truth and where? Some place in Castle City? Headquarters itself? Possibly even the Silver Eagles base. Was Teris searching for answers without him and Nozel was helping her?

He made a fist angry at her for searching without him. Then again it wasn’t as if the two of them were in a place where they could look for answers together. And who’s fault is that, Yami asked himself. It was your decision to avoid and ignore her. And it’s her fault for not telling you the that she and Nozel were intended to be wed. Why hadn’t she just told him? He wouldn’t have liked it but he wouldn’t have felt as if Bronn was right if she hadn’t had all but lied about her true relationship with Nozel.

In any case. How dare her look for answers to secrets surrounding them, and with Nozel of all people. His anger at her renewed and grew. At least he knew what she was doing with prideful Silver Eagle. He didn’t like it. He especially didn’t like that they planned on meeting again tomorrow. But, at least he knew.

#black clover #yami sukehiro #nozel silva #fuegoleon vermillion #mereoleona vermillion #julius novachrono #black clover jack the ripper

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amugeona382 · 7 years

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headbanger.ru SnoWhite Interview

To tell you the truth, I didn’t really believe that this interview would ever materialize. The promoters of SnoWhite’s gig in Moscow suggested meeting the band after the show, but I had serious doubts that after spending 1.5 hours on stage the guys would still be able to do the talking. Moreover, it’s easy to guess that, of the five band members, I was more interested in guitarist Sir Christus (being as unbiased as I am, I am still a journalist and share a professional interest in notorious characters) – but this person never seemed talkative to me, and I wasn’t sure I would able to establish contact. But I must tell you that all my concerns turned out in vain. Maybe, I benefited from the nice welcome the band received from Russian girls, and the “high-spirited” watermelon, which we all tried together in the dressing room. Anyway, singer Julius Maximus and the above-mentioned Sir Christus, whom the band nominated as spokesmen, were very friendly, open and ready to share their thoughts about just anything in the world. It’s nice when you don’t have to “pull” words from your conversation partners, but on the contrary, they are eager to tell you what they want to be disclosed. In such cases, you can only take the list of questions aside and look what comes out of the conversation … Are you big fans of the fairytale about Snow White? Julius: It’s a good fairytale, but it doesn’t combine with this band at all. Christus: And it has nothing to do with drugs… Julius: Many people say that it’s because of drugs. You know, “snow white” is cocaine. But it’s not about drugs… Everyone is trying to make a new start. It’s like a clean table. So SnoWhite resembles purity. Christus: You clean your table and start again… We are innocent like first snow. And you “start again” with a little bit of a different name. Why are you “General” now? Christus: I have to get a higher status. But I guess “Julius Maximus” is supposed to have the highest status with such a name… What do you mean by calling yourself that name? Julius: That’s my real name. My real name is Jussi Julius Maximus – so it’s my second name. And my surname is Kyyhkynen and that means “dove” – not “pigeon”, but “dove”, the white one. Julius Caesar Maximus was a great leader of Roman Empire… So you should be proud of that kind of name. Julius: Of course I am. As far as I know, you’re gonna record your first album in February… Julius: Yes, we don’t know the date yet but soon enough. Christus: We’ll try to have something for the next spring. And we have to do a lot of gigs then. This is just a “warming-up”. Julius: We are in baby shoes. We’ve been doing this just for a year and a half, so… Christus: We are so young, you know… (laughs) Oh yes, “young” and “innocent” – I remember it. (everybody laughs) Do you have a name for your first album so far? Julius: No, not yet. And even if we had we wouldn’t tell you that. Oh, it’s a great secret, isn’t it? Julius: Yeah! And who’s writing the songs for it? Julius: I write all the lyrics and we write music together. Christus: Everybody makes… (chooses a word) riffs. The whole band does it. Julius: The whole band is composing the songs. Christus: Some songs are by Purtsi (bass player). And we have two songs written by me. Julius: It all started with Purtsi and Dino (drummer) and their songs. They gave me their demo, and I liked it, and then I made a few songs. That’s how we started. We have many Purtsi’s and Dino’s songs, and there’re two songs written by me… But they’re all together. And Christus was the last one to join the band. How did it happen? Julius: Raffe was the one who did it. He was our first guitar player, and we told him that he can choose the guitar player he wants to play with. And he chose Christus, so here we are. Christus: You know, Dino proposed it to me a little bit earlier, and I was a bit interested in this band. But when at first I listened to those demos, I thought that’s fucking bullshit. That’s the thing that happens all the time. When we play and you hear our music for the first time it’s… (uses the body language to express something like “crap”) But if you listen to it for the second time, you understand exactly what’s going on. Before you joined SnoWhite you were playing in Black Jesus. Do you still have this project? Christus (shakes his head): No. No? Why? Christus: Because… I don’t wanna talk about it. Ok, then SnoWhite is the only one, isn’t it? Christus: Yeah… And you tried to play with your brother (Matthau Mikojan), but there was something wrong with this project too… That’s strange. Isn’t it easier to work with your family member? Christus: That’s the problem - that we are brothers. We don’t go together. That’s too hard. Just a terrible idea – me and Matti… Julius: No-o-o! They can’t be on stage together. They’re too close. Christus: There will be too much fighting, you know. Christus, you know, I have to ask you about Negative… You left a successful band and now you have to play in small clubs and built you carrier again. Isn’t it a disappointing step back? Christus: Yeah, but this is just like “my band”, you know – what I’ve always been wishing for. Here the guys don’t say “that’s bullshit, don’t play it”. Actually, Jonne (Aaron, Negative singer) didn’t like anything I tried to propose. SnoWhite is a kind of band where I have my own space. I have a chance to do what I want to do. For 8 years, when I was in Negative, I was writing songs. 4 000 songs are ready… (smiles) But in Negative I couldn’t perform any of them. It’s Jonne’s band. And this is that kind of band… Julius: This is OUR band. We are all equal. Julius, aren’t you and other guys upset by the fact that all these girls come to see Christus? I don’t say that they don’t like your band, but… Julius: Yeah, I know what you mean. Yes, sometimes it’s… Of course he’s more popular. But it will never be like “SnoWhite featuring Sir Christus” – never! It will be just SnoWhite. Christus: It will end some day – all this bullshit about “ex-Negative”. That’s gonna change. Julius: Actually that’s a benefit that we just have to accept. You know, if he hadn’t been there, the hall tonight would have been empty. No one knows us, but everybody knows him, so they know us now. And after a couple of years there’ll be no more Sir Christus, there will be SnoWhite, where he plays. Aren’t you afraid that he will leave you like he’s left his previous bands? Julius: No. He has so much work to do here now… Christus: I had a reason to leave Negative, but I have no reason to leave this band. This is what I’ve been looking for all my life. I can do my own songs now. I don’t wanna play someone else’s anymore. When you say “my own songs” does it mean that you write only music or do you write some lyrics too? Julius: No, that’s my department. But you said that all of you are equal in this band – so why not? I mean, isn’t it a kind of contradiction: we are all equal, but it’s only me and no one else writing lyrics here? Julius: Well, if somebody makes good lyrics, then I’ll accept it, of course. But it was like that so far: guys play, I sing, I write the lyrics, I do the melodies for the lyrics – and that’s been good so far. But everybody can do everything. Like our last song in this gig (“Opium”) – it was totally me, I’ve written this song in something like 2001 with acoustic guitar at my home. So it’s really my song, but, of course, the arrangements have been made. That song was acoustic and now it’s electric. So the guys have made it sound like this and, you know, it works. By the way, Christus, one more question about your “Negative” period - what did you do to your “Pink Lady” (pink guitar with the inscription “Sir Christus” on the fretboard)? How could you have got rid of it? It seemed to be a part of you… Christus: Pink Lady? (seems confused) A-a-ah! It’s in “Elimäki”, some kind of restaurant or rock-club… It’s under glass there and people can see it like in museum… Ok, it’s part of history now, I see… This evening you were singing one song on stage – “Lost In America” (Alice Cooper cover). Don’t you think about singing something else in this band? Julius: No, that’s just that one. Julius, but he’s done it so many years ago – don’t you want to “change repertoire”? Julius: Yes, he has done it, but he couldn’t sing it on stage, when he was in Negative. Christus: Jonne doesn’t like someone else singing… Julius: And here if Christus wants to do it – then why not? Christus: I have a little bit more glorious voice than Jonne… (laughs) Julius, if you write all the lyrics for this band, the next question goes to you. What do you sing about? I mean, what do you feel you should definitely sing about? What are the main themes for your lyrics? Julius: Well, at this moment my lyrics are not happy. This is my personal thing, but I’ve been through hell. And I’ve been writing about that. It was, you know, a bad ex-girlfriend, a fucking crazy one. And in one song I kill her – I mean, I was thinking that I wanna kill her. Of course, figuratively speaking – I’m a kind man, I will never kill anybody, I wouldn’t kill a fly, but that’s my expression for that girl. You know, “die bitch”. Cause she was fucking insane. If your lyrics are that personal, how does it feel to sing them on stage, recalling it all over and over again? Julius: I try to stand behind my words – as much as I can. It’s like acting, you know. You have to get the song – if it’s a rough song, you go rough, if it’s a song with slow emotions, you go slow. Just like acting. I see… Didn’t you hurt yourself by your falling on stage tonight? It was a bit shocking… Julius: (laughs) Even if I would have dropped on the floor with my head first, I wouldn’t have cared. I can stand pain a lot. In my life there’s been a lot of pain. Nice to hear that you’re ok - but still you caused some damage in the club. Do you often break things around you on stage? You seem to be very expressive, so maybe you have some passion for destruction while performing. Julius: No-o-o… But sometimes I would like to smash everything in pieces, so I don’t know – we’ll see. I’d like to break a drum set and two guitars, but I can’t afford it. I’m poor. We don’t make money on this. Well, but you have some other advantages. You know, traveling, performing in different cities, seeing people… Julius: Yeah, that’s fucking cool! Only getting out of Tampere, where we live in Finland, is fucking cool. Just leave everything behind and go on the road. And now we’re in Moscow and that’s fucking awesome. I’ve never been in Russia and now I love it! Everybody I’ve met here is just great. They’re so nice. Are there any countries you’d love to go to? Julius: I’d love to go around the world. Christus: This one, Russia! It’s the best one, and China is the second one. Julius: If I had to name one place, not considering Russia, because we are here now, but it may be Brazil. Christus: In Finland it’s so fucking boring… It’s all because of the EU – all these crazy rules… Julius: People are not that nice in Finland. Everybody wants to see how fucked up we are. They think we’re drunkards even if we’re sober. We don’t have any drug problems and still we are “junkies”. They consider us to be junkies. Christus: Yeah! If Finland would be involved in some war, I wouldn’t be there… Julius: Oh no, I wouldn’t defend it. Not very patriotic, I should say! Julius: Oh! (laughs) Of course it’s not like that. Still it’s our fatherland. Christus: (says something in Finnish) Julius: He says “Finland can suck the flood out of my ass”. That was Christus, not me. I’m patriotic, you know. Christus: It’s so fucking hard to live there, because the people are too normal there. Wherever I go out of my house everybody’s staring at me. Now it’s autumn and you should put on something brown. Nobody understands you there. In Russia it’s absolutely different. Oh, Russia seems to inspire you a lot… Christus: I love it! Julius: Love it too! It’s my first time here and everything is awesome. Good people, good food… Everything! And it’s not in the European Union, so you can smoke anywhere and so on… Do you mean that here in Russia we have no rules? Christus: No ill rules… Julius: Not so strict as in Finland. In Finland you go to an amusement park, which is outside, and there are only those fucking parking places where you can smoke. Even if it’s outside! What the fuck?! Christus: And you can’t smoke on stage in Finland. It’s not allowed. Julius: I can say I like this country more than my fatherland. And I always tell the truth – even when I lie. Christus: Don’t wanna talk about Finland anymore. I hate it. Then come and live here. I think your fan girls will be extremely happy about it. By the way, what do you think about all this “fan love”? Do you enjoy it? Christus: Yeah-yeah… Of course. Without your audience you’ve got nothing to do. Well, tonight you were quite attentive to your audience. You’ve spent so much time signing tickets and what not, making photos, talking to fans… Christus: Well, when you travel so far away you may be not able to waste your “precious time”. But this is not that kind of gig. We had to keep our fans glad. They should remember us when they leave the club. Julius: And I’d like to say one more thing about Russia. Finnish railways are like that - no cigarettes, no alcohol and so on. And then you get into this train called “Tolstoy”, which goes to Russia – and you can smoke, you can drink, you have good restaurant… Christus: (sings) Somebody’s opening the door… Julius: Yeah! It’s like a different world when you step into that train. You’re still in Finland, but when you get into that train, you’re already in Russia. Maybe you should go on tour all over Russia? Julius: Yeah, we’d love to go to St. Petersburg… Well, I mean not big cities but also some smaller towns… Julius: Yeah, “Pribaltica”, Belarus, Estonia… Hmm, Belarus and Estonia are not Russia… Julius: Yeah-yeah, but we should go there too. And Ukraine… Christus: If we could make a deal with any club in Russia we would come and play there. We’d love to play in different places in Russia. And what about money? You say you don’t get much from your playing in clubs… How can you manage? Christus: (sighs) Money… Well, some days you get paid for your job. But we don’t need money anyway… We have cigarettes and beer and we’re working and performing. That’s the point. (smiles wickedly) And actually we have money. (At this point I finally manage to explain to the guys that it’s time to wrap up the conversation, as the guys have been making obvious signs to me for about 10 minutes already. Then Christus takes the Dictaphone away from me, brings it closer to his mouth and pronounces the following message) Christus: Ye-a-ah! This is Christus from SnoWhite, peace and… shame for yourself. Julius: This is Julius from SnoWhite. Rock like fuck! (I get up and intend to get out of the dressing room, but I’m suddenly approached by drummer Dino, who says blatantly that I just have to talk to him too) Dino: I’m a drummer. What would you like to ask me? Well, I can ask you, what’s so special about this band that makes you do the drums for it? Dino: Well, basically this band started from me and Purtsi. We collected all these people around us. Christus and Raffe and Jussi are not the founding members of the band. But when we found out that Christus had left Negative we started collecting people around us. First of all we needed lead singer. If you look at Jussi Kyyhkynen you’ll see that he’s perfect. He has sloppy eyes and a good sound and sometimes a big stomach… What do you people like to see? If you take pictures of Jussi Kyyhkynen in a period of one month or three months, you can see what’s happening… He’s a “real life” rock star. He’s not a picture image. And it’s all real: all sweat and scars and pimples… That’s what it’s all about. We’re ugly ourselves, but the goal is to get girls… And guys as well. You have to have something to give for the guys. I think we have… If you come and bring your boyfriend with you, he may think “they’re faggots” – but then he will be surprised. He’ll go like: “What’s happening here? These guys can play”. Of course we can play. That’s it. And the girls should get horny. If they don’t, it means we failed. That’s rock-n-roll, it’s all about this! Ok, you say you and Purtsi were the ones who started the whole thing. Why have you decided to start this project? Was there any kind of “turning point”? Dino: The turning point was when Christus became available. He’s a magician, he’s so good. He’s the best guitar player I’ve seen for a long time – and I’ve seen a lot. So you think that without him it wouldn’t have happened? Dino: No, it would had happened, but in some different ways. Having Chris in our band opens some boards, of course. But it brings you the whole load of Negative publicity… You know, the yelling about drug problems and stuff. Everyone’s afraid of signing us. But we’re the loveliest guys – we love to play with each other, and everyone has his own challenges. But we love to play with each other and we have songs. SnoWhite on the Internet: http://www.myspace.com/sw1923 Special thanks to Oksana (RM Records) for arranging this interview Interview by Ksenia Artamonova Photos by Olga “Omena” Dendymarchenko September 19, 2009 © HeadBanger.ru

#sir christus #snowhite

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